1. Where is my bride?Copy !req
2. My wedding dress.
Quickly, put it on.Copy !req
3. Soon you'll live your life
in jewels and not chains.Copy !req
4. Come, child.Copy !req
5. Your groom awaits you.Copy !req
6. Honeybees, all right, all right!Copy !req
7. Honeybees, all right!Copy !req
8. Whoo! Honeybees,
all right, all right!Copy !req
9. Honeybees, all right!
Whoo!Copy !req
10. Go... go...
Go... go...Copy !req
11. Honeybees! Honeybees!
Honeybees! Honeybees!Copy !req
12. You ready, Hildenburg?Copy !req
13. Yes.Copy !req
14. Great.Copy !req
15. I have one question.Copy !req
16. Why am I dressed like
one of the fenmore foxes?Copy !req
17. Aren't they our hated
crosstown rivals?Copy !req
18. Yes... but...Copy !req
19. This year's theme is unity...
For all cheerleaders.Copy !req
20. Have fun.Copy !req
21. Wipe out the foxes!Copy !req
22. Boys are cheats and liars.Copy !req
23. They're such a big disgrace.Copy !req
24. They will tell you anything
to get to second...Copy !req
25. Baseball, baseball,
he thinks he's gonna score.Copy !req
26. If you let him go all the way,
then you are a...Copy !req
27. Hor... ticulture studies
flowers —Copy !req
28. Oh, no, she didn't.Copy !req
29. Oh, yes, she did.Copy !req
30. Girlfriend's Booty be
all wrapped up in licious.Copy !req
31. All wrapped up.Copy !req
32. You're pretty dope and phat
yourselves.Copy !req
33. Ling-ling!
You forgot lunch, baby pie!Copy !req
34. Chicken with fried vegetable,Copy !req
35. bulgogi, and kimchi.Copy !req
36. Thanks, mom.Copy !req
37. Okay. You all learn
real good now.Copy !req
38. Ling-ling? Ling-ling?Copy !req
39. Can somebody answer the phone?Copy !req
40. Oh, dang, that's messed up.Copy !req
41. Out of all the Korean liquor stores,Copy !req
42. why did my dad have to
walk into that one?Copy !req
43. I'm returning your papers
on the Salem witch trials.Copy !req
44. I'm sad to report that Eden,
here, got the only "a."Copy !req
45. Well, that's not fair.Copy !req
46. I mean, she was the only one
who was actually there.Copy !req
47. Vice-principal Bernard.Copy !req
48. Oh, miss Spencer,
wonderful job this morning.Copy !req
49. You certainly know
how to whip up a crowd.Copy !req
50. As pretty as you are, I bet
you really whipped them upCopy !req
51. back when you were
cheerleading captain, hmm?Copy !req
52. Me? Oh, no, no, no.Copy !req
53. I was much more of a band
chick, actually — tuba —Copy !req
54. Lead tuba — honor band.Copy !req
55. Well, then you wouldn't mind
writing us some passesCopy !req
56. so we could, uh,
practice some new moves?Copy !req
57. Oh, Jessica,
I-I-I don't know about that.Copy !req
58. You know, that trophy
is gonna look so goodCopy !req
59. in your office.Copy !req
60. All right.Copy !req
61. Mmm!
That's really good.Copy !req
62. Um...
How much do I owe you?Copy !req
63. It's okay.
It's on the house.Copy !req
64. Really?Copy !req
65. Thanks.Copy !req
66. Who's gonna pay for that, asshole?Copy !req
67. You are not gonna make it
in this business.Copy !req
68. You total binger!Copy !req
69. April, this is gonna go
straight to your ass.Copy !req
70. "Itchbay" alert.Copy !req
71. Bianca.Copy !req
72. Jessica, you look great!Copy !req
73. Are you doing something differentCopy !req
74. or just hanging out
with skankier friends?Copy !req
75. Wow, Bianca,
you look really good, too.Copy !req
76. Um... are you eating less
or just barfing more?Copy !req
77. Barfing more.Copy !req
78. Good luck at the cheer competition.Copy !req
79. Yeah.Copy !req
80. You too.Copy !req
81. Bye-bye.Copy !req
82. Oh! Oh, my god!
Oh! Oh!Copy !req
83. Let's go, Winona.Copy !req
84. Jess, what are you doing?Copy !req
85. Hang on a sec.Copy !req
86. This is kind of cool.Copy !req
87. Can I help you ladies?Copy !req
88. Oh, yeah.
What is this?Copy !req
89. Oh, yeah, I like that, too.Copy !req
90. It's actually a Senegalese luteCopy !req
91. carved from deerwood,Copy !req
92. used for fertility rituals and...Copy !req
93. Sure. Yeah.
Cool.Copy !req
94. Oh, and you can put
your weed in there.Copy !req
95. Check this out.Copy !req
96. Oh, yeah.
That's beautiful.Copy !req
97. It's actually a model
of the prison on Robben islandCopy !req
98. where Nelson Mandela
was held 27 years.Copy !req
99. Oh. oh.
And before the collapse
of apartheid, of course.Copy !req
100. Yeah, he came out
pretty hate-free, though,Copy !req
101. you know, ready to heal —Copy !req
102. Went on to become
the president of South AfricaCopy !req
103. after that — after they freed
him, of course, sure.Copy !req
104. Wow.
Yeah.Copy !req
105. A lot of people don't realize this,Copy !req
106. but you can put your weed in there.Copy !req
107. This is great. Sure.Copy !req
108. Well, if you have any more questions,Copy !req
109. I'll be in the back sleeping, so...Copy !req
110. Great.Copy !req
111. Okay. Thanks.Copy !req
112. Oh, actually,
this is the back. Sorry.Copy !req
113. This stuff makes me feel so
proud to be African-American.Copy !req
114. Ling-ling!Copy !req
115. You walk right by crazy nail,Copy !req
116. no say "hi" me.Copy !req
117. Hi, mom.Copy !req
118. Bye, girls!Copy !req
119. Fake pearls!Copy !req
120. Stop banging those drums!Copy !req
121. I'm sorry.Copy !req
122. I didn't even know
you could hear that.Copy !req
123. Oh, my god.
Look at those earrings.Copy !req
124. I'd be the envy
of every girl at prom.Copy !req
125. Not like that was
in jeopardy or anything.Copy !req
126. Um, excuse me.
How much are these?Copy !req
127. Not for sale.
That's a genuine artifact.Copy !req
128. No!Copy !req
129. No!Copy !req
130. Okay, I'm all set.Copy !req
131. Is that all you got — $18?Copy !req
132. It's a gas station.Copy !req
133. Everybody pays with
credit cards nowadays.Copy !req
134. Help yourself to some nachos.Copy !req
135. Hey, that's for Doug Flutie's kids!Copy !req
136. I'm in here!Copy !req
137. Help!Copy !req
138. You look really good.Copy !req
139. Really good.Copy !req
140. Um, excuse me...Copy !req
141. The gas cap's on that side.Copy !req
142. Mm-hmm.
Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
143. Uh, hello...Copy !req
144. Full service.Copy !req
145. And, um, could you,
like, check the oilCopy !req
146. and all that other junk
under the hood?Copy !req
147. Like his job is that hard.Copy !req
148. Minimum wage for a maximum loser.Copy !req
149. Oh, good one.Copy !req
150. Hey... check this out.Copy !req
151. Sorry. Accident.Copy !req
152. You're so bad!Copy !req
153. I'm okay.Copy !req
154. It's okay. I'm okay.Copy !req
155. Hey, how much you bet
I can get him again?Copy !req
156. I'm so pretty.Copy !req
157. Booger.Copy !req
158. Booger!Copy !req
159. I told you not to
go through my stuff.Copy !req
160. What are you doing wearing my bra?Copy !req
161. I'm not wearing your bra.Copy !req
162. I was simply holding it
against myself.Copy !req
163. Get out of my room, you little turd!Copy !req
164. Wait a minute.Copy !req
165. What happened to you?Copy !req
166. Nothing.Copy !req
167. Did that Cavanaugh kid
do this to you?Copy !req
168. All right. Come here.Copy !req
169. He is such a punk.Copy !req
170. You know, one of these days,Copy !req
171. he's gonna get it.Copy !req
172. There you go.Copy !req
173. Better.Copy !req
174. Is that my lipstick?Copy !req
175. Hi.Copy !req
176. Oh, Jess, when you do that...Copy !req
177. My whole leg tingles and shakes.Copy !req
178. Really?Copy !req
179. Well, what happens if I kiss you...Copy !req
180. There?Copy !req
181. You have to come snowboarding
with me this weekend.Copy !req
182. Oh, silly Billy nilly,Copy !req
183. I told you I'm not
having sex with you.Copy !req
184. No.Copy !req
185. We could sip hot chocolateCopy !req
186. and play scrabble
with my little brother.Copy !req
187. You call it whatever you want.Copy !req
188. I'm still not having sex with you.Copy !req
189. Billy...Copy !req
190. Look...Copy !req
191. You know how important this is to me.Copy !req
192. And when that special moment happens,Copy !req
193. I just... I want it
to be perfect.Copy !req
194. I would never dream of rushing you.Copy !req
195. Thank you, Billy.Copy !req
196. If you change your mind,
we could drive up together.Copy !req
197. I'll wait behind for you.Copy !req
198. Front... behind...Copy !req
199. I'm still not doing it.Copy !req
200. Good night, Billy.Copy !req
201. Oh, your life is like a fairytale.Copy !req
202. You and Billy are, like,
totally Disney.Copy !req
203. You know, it's scary sometimes.Copy !req
204. I just...
I don't know what I'd doCopy !req
205. if things weren't
so... Perfect.Copy !req
206. I'm so glad you're my best friend.Copy !req
207. I'll see you tomorrow.Copy !req
208. Okay. Good night.Copy !req
209. Bye.Copy !req
210. Jessica, honey,
is everything all right?Copy !req
211. Yes, mother.Copy !req
212. It's just a spider.Copy !req
213. A really big, disgusting spider.Copy !req
214. Hi. It's April.
Leave me a message.Copy !req
215. This isn't happening.
This isn't happening!Copy !req
216. Oh, it's sick!Copy !req
217. Sick!Copy !req
218. Hey, dad! Can I have
this cake for breakfast?Copy !req
219. Uh, yeah.
Whatever. Go for it.Copy !req
220. Booger, what the hell are you doingCopy !req
221. eating my boss's cake?Copy !req
222. I-I thought you just said
I could eat it.Copy !req
223. God...Copy !req
224. Where's my...?Copy !req
225. Hello?Copy !req
226. April, it's me — Jessica.Copy !req
227. I need you to meet me
right after class
out by the track.Copy !req
228. Is this really Jessica?Copy !req
229. Yes!Copy !req
230. Oh, my god, are you getting a cold?Copy !req
231. The competition's only a week away.Copy !req
232. We may have bigger problems.Copy !req
233. April...Copy !req
234. April...Copy !req
235. April!Copy !req
236. You stay away from me!Copy !req
237. I have pepper spray on my key chain!Copy !req
238. April, I need you so bad right now.Copy !req
239. You have no idea.Copy !req
240. How do you know my name?Copy !req
241. It's me...Copy !req
242. Jessica!Copy !req
243. I'm in here.Copy !req
244. What did you do with her?Copy !req
245. I don't know what happened.Copy !req
246. I woke up this morning...Copy !req
247. Like this.Copy !req
248. And what did I tell you
about these things?
Aah! Aah!Copy !req
249. They go straight to your ass!Copy !req
250. People are gonna be looking for me!Copy !req
251. You gotta believe me!
I'm warning you!Copy !req
252. Please, I'm Jessica!
Aah!Copy !req
253. Oh, my god!Copy !req
254. I think I broke a rib!Copy !req
255. My eyes burn!Copy !req
256. I can't breathe!Copy !req
257. This morning, I woke up a man!Copy !req
258. This is by far
the worst day of my life!Copy !req
259. April!Copy !req
260. Do you remember in second gradeCopy !req
261. When you moved here from Arkansas?Copy !req
262. Everybody threw rocks at you...Copy !req
263. Because you talked funnyCopy !req
264. and your front two teeth were brown!Copy !req
265. I was your only friend.Copy !req
266. I gave you that locket
around your neckCopy !req
267. when your grandmother was sick.Copy !req
268. And you said...Copy !req
269. You said...Copy !req
270. We'd be bestest friends forever.Copy !req
271. Boys are cheats and liars.Copy !req
272. They're such a big disgrace.Copy !req
273. They will tell you
anything to get to second...Copy !req
274. Baseball, baseball,
he thinks he's gonna score.Copy !req
275. If you let him go all the way,
then you are a...Copy !req
276. Hor... ticulture studies flowers.Copy !req
277. Geologist studies rocks.Copy !req
278. The only thing a guy wants from youCopy !req
279. is place to put his...Copy !req
280. Cock... roaches, beetles,Copy !req
281. butterflies, and bugs.Copy !req
282. Nothing makes him happier
than a giant pair of...Copy !req
283. Jug... glers and acrobats,
a dancing bear named Chuck.Copy !req
284. All guys really want to do is —
Forget it, no such luck.Copy !req
285. Oh, my god!Copy !req
286. Oh, my god!Copy !req
287. How did this happen?Copy !req
288. I don't know what to do.Copy !req
289. Okay, okay.Copy !req
290. Here.Copy !req
291. Go to my house
and wait for me in my room.Copy !req
292. Don't worry. We're gonna
figure this thing out.Copy !req
293. Here.Copy !req
294. You are my bestest, bestest friend.Copy !req
295. Watch the beard.Copy !req
296. Sorry.Copy !req
297. Hi.Copy !req
298. Okay, so, listen, she bought it.Copy !req
299. I told your mom that
you're going on that ski
trip with Billy's family,Copy !req
300. and that'll at least
buy us the weekend.Copy !req
301. You think I'll be stuck
like this all weekend?Copy !req
302. Gross.Copy !req
303. I've got hair everywhere —Copy !req
304. In my nose, in my ears, on my chin.Copy !req
305. I'm afraid to look anywhere else.Copy !req
306. It's like I'm an ad for hair.Copy !req
307. Okay, well, listen,
maybe this will help.Copy !req
308. Okay.Copy !req
309. Yeah.Copy !req
310. Okay.
Against the grain.Copy !req
311. Okay, ready?
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
312. Hold still.Copy !req
313. So...Copy !req
314. So, uh...Copy !req
315. What?Copy !req
316. Do you really have a penis?Copy !req
317. April!Copy !req
318. Can I see it?Copy !req
319. What is the matter with you?Copy !req
320. I don't think you get the
gravity of the situation here.Copy !req
321. You're right.
You're right. I'm sorry.Copy !req
322. I'm sorry.Copy !req
323. Can I see it?Copy !req
324. W— what is your problem?Copy !req
325. What?Copy !req
326. It's not every day
that your best friend
grows a penis.Copy !req
327. Do you want to see it?Copy !req
328. Okay, fine —Copy !req
329. If it'll shut you up.Copy !req
330. Nice.Copy !req
331. Nice.Copy !req
332. I mean, you know...Copy !req
333. I've only seen a couple,
but that's definitely top 5.Copy !req
334. How many have you seen?Copy !req
335. Five.Copy !req
336. Not including my little brother's.Copy !req
337. You little tramp!Copy !req
338. Oh, motherfuck! Oh!Copy !req
339. Stan...Copy !req
340. I am beginning to worry about April.Copy !req
341. She has been acting rather strange.Copy !req
342. Is it drugs?
No, no.Copy !req
343. I... I think it's
her hormonal development.Copy !req
344. She just ate six
peanut-butter-and-jelly
sandwichesCopy !req
345. and an entire carton of ice cream.Copy !req
346. And what do you make of this, hmm?Copy !req
347. It's April's soap.Copy !req
348. Well?Copy !req
349. What do you think?Copy !req
350. I think you need more things
to fill out your day.Copy !req
351. Okay?Copy !req
352. Are we done?Copy !req
353. Hello?Copy !req
354. All right, who is this?Copy !req
355. I should have made love to you
when I had the chance.Copy !req
356. Father Mulcahy?Copy !req
357. Tell me I'm beautiful.Copy !req
358. On the inside.Copy !req
359. Look, uh...Copy !req
360. Jessica has a problem.Copy !req
361. She's only gonna make us
wait an hour this time?Copy !req
362. What about the class trip
to six flags?Copy !req
363. She took so long
in the bathroom, we
all missed the bus.Copy !req
364. Our parents had to drive
three hours to pick us up.Copy !req
365. I had my period, okay?Copy !req
366. Okay, now that everybody's
up to speed,Copy !req
367. can we start thinking
about how I can get
my life back?Copy !req
368. Um, that's definitely
gonna cost you a few
votes for prom queen.Copy !req
369. Yeah.Copy !req
370. Okay.Copy !req
371. Come on, you guys,
let's get serious.
Stop dicking around.Copy !req
372. Guys!Copy !req
373. I've got cheerleading
competition, the prom.Copy !req
374. None of my clothes fit.
I think I'm going bald.Copy !req
375. And how am I gonna go to school?Copy !req
376. She's right.Copy !req
377. Okay...Copy !req
378. Let's think.Copy !req
379. What could have caused this?Copy !req
380. Maybe it wasn't an accident.Copy !req
381. It's gotta be one
of the people who hates
Jessica that did this.Copy !req
382. Yeah.Copy !req
383. What are you talking about?Copy !req
384. People don't hate me.Copy !req
385. You see, Jess...Copy !req
386. Because you are
so beautiful and perfect...Copy !req
387. certain people
might misconstrueCopy !req
388. some of the mean and hurtful
things you say and do to them.Copy !req
389. Although the things
you say are funny...Copy !req
390. people
tend to focus moreCopy !req
391. on their own
public humiliation and shame.Copy !req
392. So you're saying...Copy !req
393. People think...Copy !req
394. I'm perfect?Copy !req
395. Let's make a list
of all the people
who hate Jessica.Copy !req
396. You know what would be
a shorter list?Copy !req
397. All the people
who don't hate Jessica.Copy !req
398. You bitch!Copy !req
399. Easy on the coffee.Copy !req
400. Oh, hi.Copy !req
401. Good morning.Copy !req
402. Did you sleep well?Copy !req
403. Mmm.
Surprisingly, yes.Copy !req
404. You have any...Copy !req
405. Special dreams?Copy !req
406. Not particularly.Copy !req
407. You sure?Copy !req
408. Why?Copy !req
409. Oh, my god, my first boner!Copy !req
410. There you are!
Ah!Copy !req
411. You're the gardener
from the service, right?Copy !req
412. Sí.Copy !req
413. Damn lawn's a mess.Copy !req
414. It's my daughter's
responsibility
to look after it,Copy !req
415. but you know teenage girls.Copy !req
416. Sí, sí.Copy !req
417. "Teenageros."Copy !req
418. Sorry. Richie Spencer.Copy !req
419. Taquito.Copy !req
420. Oh, taquito.Copy !req
421. There's the mower.Copy !req
422. There's your bag of fertilizer.Copy !req
423. Oh, ho!
I'll let you get to it.Copy !req
424. Damn, I love the smell
of fresh-cut grass.Copy !req
425. Gracias, but... I'm not sure
I'm old enough, señor.Copy !req
426. Yeah, right.Copy !req
427. What is the drinking age
in Mexico — 40?Copy !req
428. Come on, take a load off.
You can finish in a minute.Copy !req
429. Hope you don't mind the light beer.Copy !req
430. I had to cut back
on account of the bloating.Copy !req
431. Know what I mean?Copy !req
432. I also had to give up
the spicy food on
account of my asshole.Copy !req
433. We're amongst men, aren't we?Copy !req
434. "Stinko de Mayo."Copy !req
435. You like that car?Copy !req
436. That's my daughter's.Copy !req
437. Pretty nice, huh?Copy !req
438. It would have looked
even better in red.Copy !req
439. That's what my daughter said.Copy !req
440. We used to go out
back on Sundays and
toss a few baskets,Copy !req
441. shoot the shit.Copy !req
442. But she's got her own stuff
going on now.Copy !req
443. Who could blame her?
Whole family's falling apart.Copy !req
444. What?Copy !req
445. Things with the wife —
Forget about it.Copy !req
446. I mean, we sleep in the same bed.Copy !req
447. Might as well be separate countries.Copy !req
448. That is, like, so sad.Copy !req
449. Ay-yi-yi!Copy !req
450. Ay-yi... yi.Copy !req
451. I tried everything.
Nothing worked.Copy !req
452. I even got out the
razor and gave myself
a porn-star trim.Copy !req
453. Wanna see?
Check it out.Copy !req
454. Boy, she used to be wild.Copy !req
455. The sex was great.Copy !req
456. We'd be going at it,
and she could still find a wayCopy !req
457. to twist around
and kiss me on the mouth.Copy !req
458. Señor, information too mucho.Copy !req
459. Emotional "scarro" — disgusting.Copy !req
460. It's good talking to you, taquito.Copy !req
461. Hey, Jessica! Jessica!Copy !req
462. Come here!Copy !req
463. We've got a suspect.Copy !req
464. Oh, yes!Copy !req
465. Come on.Copy !req
466. Something smells like dog pooh.Copy !req
467. I think I'm sitting next to it.Copy !req
468. Come on, Hildenburg, don't play dumb.Copy !req
469. You hate Jessica, you're good
at this science crap.Copy !req
470. Now, just confess
and give us the antidote.Copy !req
471. April, it's physically impossibleCopy !req
472. for a woman to transform
into a man overnight.Copy !req
473. So you're saying that you
had nothing to do with this.Copy !req
474. Look...Copy !req
475. Let's just pretend this was
an alternate universeCopy !req
476. where I actually believed you.Copy !req
477. Why would I want to help
Jessica out, anyway?Copy !req
478. Jessica!Copy !req
479. Hildenburg...Copy !req
480. I'm sorry that I humiliated youCopy !req
481. in front of the entire school...Copy !req
482. And the visiting 8th-graders.Copy !req
483. But you have no idea what it's likeCopy !req
484. to wake up every morning
and have to shave your chin.Copy !req
485. Yes, I do.Copy !req
486. Who's next on the list?Copy !req
487. Well, it is cold in here.Copy !req
488. So you never put a hex on me?Copy !req
489. Oh, I put plenty of hexes on you —Copy !req
490. To give you dandruff,
make your hair fall out,Copy !req
491. make one of your boobs
bigger than the other.Copy !req
492. Oh, I think you got me with that one.Copy !req
493. There's some powerful
cult magic at work here...Copy !req
494. Like an ancient spell...Copy !req
495. Or voodoo...Copy !req
496. Or santeria.Copy !req
497. What's santeria?Copy !req
498. It's a Latin-based form
of witchcraft.Copy !req
499. It originated in AfricaCopy !req
500. and then eventually
made its way to Cuba and Brazil.Copy !req
501. Bianca!Copy !req
502. I knew it.Copy !req
503. Most of its rituals
involve a chicken.Copy !req
504. That sounds delicious.Copy !req
505. I mean, interesting.Copy !req
506. There's a way to tell.Copy !req
507. A true practitioner of santeriaCopy !req
508. bears the Mark of the scorpion
tattooed on their back.Copy !req
509. Bianca's always hanging outCopy !req
510. at that dance club — instant tang.Copy !req
511. Yeah, tonight's ladies' night,
and we all get in for free!Copy !req
512. Well, most of us.Copy !req
513. Trust me —Copy !req
514. You'll never get Bianca
to dance with you
looking like this.Copy !req
515. No... no...Copy !req
516. no. Mnh-mnh.Copy !req
517. Ugh! What is that?Copy !req
518. No... no... no...Copy !req
519. What?Copy !req
520. Nothing.Copy !req
521. You just look good.Copy !req
522. Really?Copy !req
523. Yeah.Copy !req
524. Okay. Thanks.Copy !req
525. No, she's not gonna...
No, he — she's
not gonna do it.Copy !req
526. Yes, she is.Copy !req
527. That is so good.Copy !req
528. T-That's $8.95.Copy !req
529. What?Copy !req
530. Aren't you just gonna take it
out of your tip jar?Copy !req
531. $8.95?
Yeah.Copy !req
532. I got that.Copy !req
533. I'll take two banana daiquiris,Copy !req
534. one mango, a sloe-gin fizz,Copy !req
535. one slippery nipple,Copy !req
536. and for me,Copy !req
537. a screaming orgasm on the beach
with extra sugar on the rim.Copy !req
538. Yum!Copy !req
539. Uh... Better
make that last one a brewski.Copy !req
540. Double brewski.Copy !req
541. They didn't even card me.Copy !req
542. It's just like Cabo.Copy !req
543. How does a butt plug
like that get all
those hot chicks?Copy !req
544. I got dibs on the dots.Copy !req
545. God damn!Copy !req
546. Ooh, he's cute.Copy !req
547. Check out the sweet buns on that guy.Copy !req
548. I'd like to get
my hands on those and...Copy !req
549. Wish they were women's breastsCopy !req
550. and... squeeze the hell
out of 'em.Copy !req
551. Maybe put a steak on 'em...Copy !req
552. 'Cause I'm a guy.Copy !req
553. That's what guys like me like to do.Copy !req
554. But I don't need to tell you that.Copy !req
555. Bianca.Copy !req
556. I'll show her.Copy !req
557. This is my song.Copy !req
558. Remember, the scorpion on her back.Copy !req
559. I'll find it.Copy !req
560. The tattoo!Copy !req
561. I don't see it!Copy !req
562. Right hand, red.Copy !req
563. Ooh... left hand, blue.Copy !req
564. It's definitely not her.Copy !req
565. Don't worry.
We'll figure this out.Copy !req
566. You're a great dancer.Copy !req
567. You're just noticing that now?Copy !req
568. I gotta hit the little girls' roomCopy !req
569. before I soak my panties.Copy !req
570. By that, I mean...Copy !req
571. My girlfriend's panties...Copy !req
572. Which I carry with me...Copy !req
573. To pee in...Copy !req
574. If I don't make it in time...Copy !req
575. To the bathroom.Copy !req
576. What?Copy !req
577. You don't pee in your
girlfriend's panties?Copy !req
578. What kind of gay club is this?Copy !req
579. Hey, everybody, check out this guy —Copy !req
580. Not peeing in his chick's panties.Copy !req
581. Excuse me...Copy !req
582. Do you have to be in here for this?Copy !req
583. Well, it's part of
my job description,Copy !req
584. but if you're one of those shy guys,Copy !req
585. you try that stall there.Copy !req
586. Uh... there's someone
in there.Copy !req
587. And they're gonna be in there
for a long time, too.Copy !req
588. I told him to stay away
from the calamari.Copy !req
589. Some folks think they can eat
anything that crawls.Copy !req
590. Would you mind?Copy !req
591. Excuse me?Copy !req
592. Why is there ice in there?Copy !req
593. Ooh! I wouldn't have
done that.Copy !req
594. You're good at that.Copy !req
595. You make it look so easy.Copy !req
596. Why don't you just take a picture?Copy !req
597. All right.Copy !req
598. Here goes.Copy !req
599. Disgusting! Wrinkly!
Gross!Copy !req
600. Oh! I've never
done this before.Copy !req
601. It's going all over.Copy !req
602. It's always good to aim at something,Copy !req
603. like that cigarette there...
Or the big mint.Copy !req
604. It's going everywhere!Copy !req
605. You got to hold on to it.Copy !req
606. Oh!
Not too tight, but enough to
let it know you're the boss.Copy !req
607. See that fly?Copy !req
608. Aim for it.Copy !req
609. That's — that's helping.Copy !req
610. That's it.Copy !req
611. Remember, if you shake it
more than twice,Copy !req
612. you're playing with it.Copy !req
613. I don't know how I could
ever thank you.Copy !req
614. Hi!Copy !req
615. That was an experience.Copy !req
616. Here's your drink.Copy !req
617. Is there any ice in here?Copy !req
618. No.Copy !req
619. Thank god!Copy !req
620. Hey...
Aren't you that chickCopy !req
621. who's having sex
with that college guy?Copy !req
622. No!Copy !req
623. Wanna be?Copy !req
624. She's not interested, okay?Copy !req
625. So why don't you just back off?Copy !req
626. Okay, grandpa.Copy !req
627. What are you, their pimp,
and these are your skank hoes?Copy !req
628. You and me, right now — let's go.Copy !req
629. Where we going?Copy !req
630. Aah!
No!Copy !req
631. Jess!Copy !req
632. Come on, Jess.
Come on!
You can do it.Copy !req
633. What do you got, geezer?
Come on!Copy !req
634. You can do it!
Come on!Copy !req
635. Show me what you got!Copy !req
636. Come on!Copy !req
637. What the...Copy !req
638. What's he doing?Copy !req
639. Some kind of tae-queer-do.Copy !req
640. That's it!Copy !req
641. No! Aaah!Copy !req
642. Yeah!Copy !req
643. Yeah!Copy !req
644. Jess!Copy !req
645. Ooh, yeah!
Yeah! Yes!Copy !req
646. That really does hurt.Copy !req
647. Thanks for sticking up for me.Copy !req
648. Now go kick some ass.Copy !req
649. You think you're so
cool 'cause you can
pee with your penis.Copy !req
650. Get a new conditioner.Copy !req
651. Your ends are totally split.Copy !req
652. You rock!Copy !req
653. April, I don't know.Copy !req
654. Oh, come on.
This is the only way
you can be in school.Copy !req
655. Here comes Jake.Copy !req
656. Hi!
Hey, baby.Copy !req
657. So, skiing sucked.Copy !req
658. I mean, you didn't miss a thing.
It was all mushed out.Copy !req
659. What's with the scarf?Copy !req
660. It's kinda chilly in here.Copy !req
661. Ski rash.Copy !req
662. So, I'm gonna —Copy !req
663. I better — I'm gonna
go to class, so... All right.Copy !req
664. April, I am so sorry.Copy !req
665. He didn't even ask me to the prom.Copy !req
666. Jake and I are so over.Copy !req
667. Okay...Copy !req
668. Now, you get in there.Copy !req
669. And remember — your name is Spence.Copy !req
670. I must tell you... Spence,
uh, there are applicantsCopy !req
671. who actually have
prior janitorial experience.Copy !req
672. Your hair —Copy !req
673. It has such bounce.Copy !req
674. Oh, it's this new cream ri—Copy !req
675. Um, anyway, a-as I was saying,Copy !req
676. you haven't really
provided me with —Copy !req
677. Look, uh...Copy !req
678. Uh, I'll be honest with you.Copy !req
679. I'm a struggling musician.Copy !req
680. Ever since my days playing the tubaCopy !req
681. in the high-school marching band —Copy !req
682. Y-you — you — you play the tuba?Copy !req
683. Yes...Copy !req
684. In the honor band.Copy !req
685. Well, Spence, I'd be going
out on a limb here, but —Copy !req
686. You won't regret it, I promise.Copy !req
687. Thank you, miss Bernard.
Thank you.Copy !req
688. Please, call me Marjorie.Copy !req
689. Marjorie.Copy !req
690. Now, if you'll just fill out
the security portion hereCopy !req
691. of the form...Copy !req
692. All right.Copy !req
693. Billy...Copy !req
694. We need to talk.Copy !req
695. About what?Copy !req
696. I called you on your ski trip to —Copy !req
697. That was you?Copy !req
698. Yeah.Copy !req
699. Oh, god!Copy !req
700. I can explain.Copy !req
701. Billy, wait!Copy !req
702. I gotta do what?Copy !req
703. Hi, there. I miss you.Copy !req
704. Hi, Sam.Copy !req
705. Hey, taquito, think fast.Copy !req
706. You got me, señor.Copy !req
707. Taquito, pick up that ball.Copy !req
708. You and me are gonna
shoot some hoops.Copy !req
709. Gotcha!Copy !req
710. Back to Tijuana!Copy !req
711. Go-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-al!Copy !req
712. How are things
with the missus, señor?Copy !req
713. Eh, still not getting any.Copy !req
714. When was the last time
you kissed her?Copy !req
715. You mean, kiss her,
or kiss her kiss her?Copy !req
716. Señor, sometimes when
a woman is ignoring you,Copy !req
717. that's when she wants you the most.Copy !req
718. She's only waiting for you
to open up her passion,Copy !req
719. which is like a waterfall
waiting to explode.Copy !req
720. You must get a lot
of enchilada, taquito.Copy !req
721. Come on, bring it!Copy !req
722. Tres points, señor.Copy !req
723. Lucky shot.Copy !req
724. My outs again, señor.Copy !req
725. How did you know I don't
move so well to my right?Copy !req
726. Booger?Copy !req
727. Oh, have you seen your sister?Copy !req
728. I feel like I haven't
talked to her in days.Copy !req
729. She was here a minute ago.
You just missed her.Copy !req
730. Good game.Copy !req
731. Señor Richie?Copy !req
732. I need to tell you something...Copy !req
733. But I can't.Copy !req
734. What do you got going on, taquito?Copy !req
735. I'm not really a gardener.Copy !req
736. I agree with that.
The roses look like shit.Copy !req
737. I'm sorry.Copy !req
738. Come on, now, easy there, big fella.Copy !req
739. They're just roses.Copy !req
740. I want to tell you...Copy !req
741. I think you're the greatest dad
in the world.Copy !req
742. Any kid would be lucky
to have you as their father.Copy !req
743. Thanks, taquito.Copy !req
744. I'd hate to see you
after you lose a game.Copy !req
745. Okay, did you eat any wolfsbane?Copy !req
746. Uh, no.Copy !req
747. Any sex with a leprechaun?Copy !req
748. Not recently.Copy !req
749. Oh, my god.Copy !req
750. You know, they should come
with a warning —Copy !req
751. "earrings may come
with penis."Copy !req
752. This be some serious shit.Copy !req
753. Those belonged to Princess Nawa.Copy !req
754. There's a mythCopy !req
755. of her using the earrings
to escape a bad marriage.Copy !req
756. But she didn't knowCopy !req
757. that she had to bring
the earrings back together,Copy !req
758. and she lived out her life
as a slave girl.Copy !req
759. Now, it appears that
this myth is anything but.Copy !req
760. Would you stop
with the damn drumming?Copy !req
761. Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
762. I... just was really
getting into your story.Copy !req
763. You've got to find that other earringCopy !req
764. and unite them
before the full moon end.Copy !req
765. I got you, babe.
Don't worry about it.Copy !req
766. Keecia's mother:
Hey, ling-ling!Copy !req
767. Ling-ling!Copy !req
768. Ling-ling, look!Copy !req
769. Look, I help!
I help you!Copy !req
770. Hey, Billy.Copy !req
771. Yeah!Copy !req
772. Is he okay?Copy !req
773. What's the matter, man?Copy !req
774. You afraid the janitor's
gonna see your dingdong?Copy !req
775. So, what's up
with you and the prom queen?Copy !req
776. I don't know.Copy !req
777. I thought everything was fine,
but I guess I was wrong.Copy !req
778. See, that's why
you gotta have a spare, man.Copy !req
779. That's what April is.
She's my spare.Copy !req
780. Spare?Copy !req
781. Yeah, she's my backup.Copy !req
782. I mean, she was a fun ride —
No doubt about this —Copy !req
783. But she is
a previously owned vehicle.Copy !req
784. I'm into that new-car smell.Copy !req
785. You asshole!Copy !req
786. W-Whoever left these
towels over here...Copy !req
787. Is an asshole.Copy !req
788. Now, this new chick I got —Copy !req
789. Dude, she is gonna be
the hottest chick at the prom.Copy !req
790. I bet one of her
little hottie friendsCopy !req
791. would love to go out
with the quarterback.Copy !req
792. Oh, I don't know, man.
Come on, man.Copy !req
793. Maybe this one will
put out, unlike that
cold fish, Jessica.Copy !req
794. You go to hell!Copy !req
795. Whoever left these showers on...Copy !req
796. Go to... Hell.Copy !req
797. Jessica's anything
but a cold fish, all right?Copy !req
798. She's the most amazing girl
in the whole world.Copy !req
799. Dude, you've never even
been out of California.Copy !req
800. I don't care.Copy !req
801. I love her.Copy !req
802. I mean, I know she thinksCopy !req
803. I only want to have sex with her,Copy !req
804. but that's not what it's about.Copy !req
805. I mean, when that moment comes...Copy !req
806. I want it to be perfect.Copy !req
807. That is the gayest thing
I have ever heard.Copy !req
808. She's the only girl
that makes my heartCopy !req
809. beat faster and slower
at the same time.Copy !req
810. When I'm not with her...Copy !req
811. I'm not living.Copy !req
812. I'm only existing until I can
hold her in my arms again.Copy !req
813. Gay, gay, gay, gay.Copy !req
814. Somebody shit in the locker.Copy !req
815. Can I help you find something?Copy !req
816. I-I was looking for my...Copy !req
817. Earring.Copy !req
818. It, uh, accidentally fell...Copy !req
819. Into the lawn mower...Copy !req
820. And, uh... Ricocheted
into the window.Copy !req
821. I've always liked earrings on men.Copy !req
822. Would you like some lemonade?Copy !req
823. Here you go, taquito.Copy !req
824. It's got a Mexican flavor to it.Copy !req
825. What the hell is that?Copy !req
826. Quesadilla and spicy menudo
with jalapeños —Copy !req
827. Your national dish.Copy !req
828. I'm sorry.Copy !req
829. It's been so long
since I heard you laugh.Copy !req
830. I mean...Copy !req
831. Since I started working here.Copy !req
832. Back!Copy !req
833. Oh, I — I am so sorry.Copy !req
834. No problemo.Copy !req
835. No problemo.Copy !req
836. Aah! Carol! Carol! Please!Copy !req
837. This would be very unnatural for meCopy !req
838. in at least five different ways!Copy !req
839. So... you like men?Copy !req
840. Of course I do.Copy !req
841. What do you think?Copy !req
842. Carol...Copy !req
843. You are a beautiful
and very desirable woman.Copy !req
844. And you have a husband
who's dying to be with you.Copy !req
845. H-He said that?Copy !req
846. Yes.Copy !req
847. I cleaned up the language
a bit, but... Yes.Copy !req
848. I know!Copy !req
849. Let's go paint your toenails.Copy !req
850. Then we'll wash your hair!Copy !req
851. My daughter, Jessie,
used to do those things for me.Copy !req
852. I'll make up for that right now.Copy !req
853. Come on...Copy !req
854. Let's show that man of yours
what he's been missing.Copy !req
855. Come on!Copy !req
856. Okay!Copy !req
857. Sí, yeah, sí, sí.Copy !req
858. Uh-huh. Okay.Copy !req
859. Sí, uh-huh, sí, sí.Copy !req
860. Sí, sí.Copy !req
861. To the left — ooh,
right, right, right, right!Copy !req
862. Oh, yes! Oh!Copy !req
863. Sí.
I love that. Oh, yes!Copy !req
864. Carol!Copy !req
865. How could you?
In my own house?Copy !req
866. Señor —Copy !req
867. And you, taquito —
We were supposed to be amigos!Copy !req
868. The loofah for
the scrubbing. The so—
get out!Copy !req
869. Señor, is for the —
The bath. I was —Copy !req
870. Shut up-o.
I was scrubbing.Copy !req
871. Out!
Señor...Copy !req
872. Richie, Richie...Copy !req
873. Really, I-it's —
It's not what you think.Copy !req
874. It's my own fault.Copy !req
875. Oh, daddy!Copy !req
876. Oh! Oh, daddy!Copy !req
877. Look at all these earrings.Copy !req
878. It's hopeless.Copy !req
879. I'm sorry.Copy !req
880. The prom's in three days.Copy !req
881. Forget about the cheer competition.Copy !req
882. I had it all.Copy !req
883. And I never really appreciated it.Copy !req
884. I took everybody for granted.Copy !req
885. Oh, and today, my dad walked in
on me and my mom in the tub.Copy !req
886. I think I may have
lost my job as gardener.Copy !req
887. You know, I'm kinda
sorry to say this,Copy !req
888. but... this has been
really fun.Copy !req
889. Yeah, right.Copy !req
890. Hey, babe, it's Jake.Copy !req
891. Listen, I got a half-hour
after wrestling.Copy !req
892. I can either take a shower
or I can come on over.Copy !req
893. Too late, dude.Copy !req
894. She's with me right now.Copy !req
895. She says that my peepee's
way bigger than yours.Copy !req
896. And that's if I fold it in half.Copy !req
897. Wha—Copy !req
898. No way!Copy !req
899. Oh, my god, that was awesome, Spence.Copy !req
900. Anytime.Copy !req
901. You know, I really thought
I was in love.Copy !req
902. How do you know for sure, anyway?Copy !req
903. I think it's when you find someoneCopy !req
904. that you can really
be yourself with...Copy !req
905. Share anything...
You know?Copy !req
906. You mean like best friends?Copy !req
907. Yeah.Copy !req
908. Love's when you can't even imagineCopy !req
909. what your life would be like
without that other person,Copy !req
910. when words don't come close to
how your heart really feels.Copy !req
911. And even though it doesn't
make sense to other people,Copy !req
912. you know you're meant to be together.Copy !req
913. Yeah.Copy !req
914. And you spend all night
thinking about him.Copy !req
915. And in the morning,
you've never felt more rested.Copy !req
916. Oh, it's like you have to
grab on to something,Copy !req
917. 'cause it seems like your whole
body's about to float away.Copy !req
918. Okay...Copy !req
919. What?Copy !req
920. I have an idea.Copy !req
921. What? What, what?Copy !req
922. Tell — it might sound kind of crazy.Copy !req
923. Tell me. Tell me.
What?Copy !req
924. Why don't you and I
go to the prom together?Copy !req
925. That would be awesome!Copy !req
926. Yeah!
Yeah!Copy !req
927. So cool!Copy !req
928. Yeah!Copy !req
929. We'd make Jake so jealous.Copy !req
930. Yeah.Copy !req
931. I got to pee.
Ooh, I got to pee.Copy !req
932. Oh, jeez!Copy !req
933. Sorry, I'll get that.Copy !req
934. Are you okay?Copy !req
935. I'll get it.Copy !req
936. Sorry.Copy !req
937. Jessica?Copy !req
938. Jessica?Copy !req
939. Jessica!Copy !req
940. Oh, Jessica.Copy !req
941. Oh. Oh, thank god.Copy !req
942. I love you, baby.Copy !req
943. I would do anything for you.Copy !req
944. Yeah?Copy !req
945. Uh...
How much money you got?Copy !req
946. What?Copy !req
947. How much money you got?Copy !req
948. About $40.Copy !req
949. That your car?Copy !req
950. It's my dad's.Copy !req
951. You know that.Copy !req
952. Oh, yeah. Cool.Copy !req
953. Give me the keys.Copy !req
954. Oh. Thanks.Copy !req
955. Hey, uh, so, uh,
w-what'd you say your name was?Copy !req
956. Billy.Copy !req
957. Oh, yeah. Ooh.Copy !req
958. Take it easy, Bobby.Copy !req
959. It's "Billy."Copy !req
960. Yeah.Copy !req
961. Where's Jessica?Copy !req
962. Don't worry, miss Bernard.Copy !req
963. She'll be here.Copy !req
964. I really hope this works, Jessica.Copy !req
965. Come on, let's go kick some ass.Copy !req
966. Okay.Copy !req
967. Dude, there's Jessica.Copy !req
968. Whatever.Copy !req
969. Dude!Copy !req
970. Number one!Copy !req
971. She does love me.Copy !req
972. The bees are coming!
The bees are coming!Copy !req
973. Sting this!Copy !req
974. That's you! That's you!
I see you!Copy !req
975. Yeah!Copy !req
976. Oh! Je—Copy !req
977. Oh, come on, man.Copy !req
978. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
979. it appears the older gentleman
in the bee outfitCopy !req
980. with the fake boobs
is the school janitor.Copy !req
981. As per section 31C of the rule book,Copy !req
982. school employees
are allowed to be mascots.Copy !req
983. Say hello to your new champions —Copy !req
984. The Bridgetown honeys!Copy !req
985. Yeah!Copy !req
986. Yeah!Copy !req
987. Here's a bizarre story for you —Copy !req
988. Police are now searching
for the hot chick bandit —Copy !req
989. A beautiful young woman who
lures men into dark alleyways,Copy !req
990. beats them senseless,
and takes their wallets.Copy !req
991. Well, we thought
maybe she needed some help.Copy !req
992. Yeah, we're helpful guys.Copy !req
993. So we went into the alley, and
then she starts wailing on me.Copy !req
994. And let me tell you —
She didn't hit like a girl.Copy !req
995. Luckily, Fitzy,
the good guy that he is —Copy !req
996. He was hiding behind a dumpster
with a video camera.Copy !req
997. Looks like she worked you over
pretty good.Copy !req
998. Yeah, well, don't get me wrong —Copy !req
999. I got some shots in.Copy !req
1000. Why? Oh, god.Copy !req
1001. Oh, god, that hurt.Copy !req
1002. Why?Copy !req
1003. Hi, it's April.
Leave me a message.Copy !req
1004. April, it's hildenburg.Copy !req
1005. I think I found Jessica's body.
It's in an alley outside a bar.Copy !req
1006. But we got to move fast,
because the police are
already looking for it.Copy !req
1007. Call me back.
Ohh! Oh!Copy !req
1008. Jessica?Copy !req
1009. Not now, booger.Copy !req
1010. I knew it!Copy !req
1011. Jessie, it is you!Copy !req
1012. How come you didn't snitch on me?Copy !req
1013. 'Cause you're my sister,Copy !req
1014. and I accept you for who you are.Copy !req
1015. Come here.Copy !req
1016. You are such a little weirdo.Copy !req
1017. Sweet as cand-y!Copy !req
1018. Ling-ling!Copy !req
1019. "I" to the "I"
to the "N" to the "G."Copy !req
1020. Ling-ling, you forgot
your bling-bling.Copy !req
1021. Mom...
You're ruining my life!Copy !req
1022. I just want to meet you halfway.Copy !req
1023. Nigga, "prease"!Copy !req
1024. I wish my mama got me
some bling-bling.Copy !req
1025. Honey, if you don't
want her as your mama,Copy !req
1026. I'll take her.Copy !req
1027. Girl, please.
Girl, please.Copy !req
1028. You still think I have
a chance at prom queen?Copy !req
1029. No.Copy !req
1030. Okay.Copy !req
1031. Mom!Copy !req
1032. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1033. But why do you have to
keep embarrassing meCopy !req
1034. in front of my friends?Copy !req
1035. You're not ashamed of me.Copy !req
1036. You're really ashamed of yourself.Copy !req
1037. Tell Lulu —Copy !req
1038. Easy on the chronic.Copy !req
1039. When I come to your townCopy !req
1040. when I'm westward boundCopy !req
1041. Oh, h-h-hi, Carol.Copy !req
1042. Jessica didn't get ready here.Copy !req
1043. No. No, she hasn't
been here all week.Copy !req
1044. Oh! I knew it!Copy !req
1045. Something is going on
with Jessica and April.Copy !req
1046. Oh... oh, I'm gonna
get to the bottom of it.Copy !req
1047. If you ruin April's night,
I will have you put away.Copy !req
1048. Wh—Copy !req
1049. I-If you're not gonna help me,
I-I'm gonna do it myself.Copy !req
1050. I think this is a good spot.Copy !req
1051. Jake's got to come right by here.Copy !req
1052. I don't really care
about Jake anymore.Copy !req
1053. You shouldn't.
He's a jerk.Copy !req
1054. There's no one I'd rather
be with here tonight.Copy !req
1055. Me either.Copy !req
1056. April, you look so beautiful tonight.Copy !req
1057. No one has ever been there
for me like you have.Copy !req
1058. You've always been there for me.Copy !req
1059. Any guy would be so lucky to
have you as their girlfriend.Copy !req
1060. And I should know.Copy !req
1061. I've been a guy
for almost a week now.Copy !req
1062. And in that time, you have been
such a good friend to me.Copy !req
1063. I don't know how
I could ever thank you.Copy !req
1064. Here he comes.Copy !req
1065. That dress looks great.Copy !req
1066. Is it easy to get out of?Copy !req
1067. God.Copy !req
1068. I am so lesbian right now.Copy !req
1069. We totally nailed him.Copy !req
1070. Jake is so jealous.Copy !req
1071. He spilled his drink
all over his date.Copy !req
1072. You should've seen it.Copy !req
1073. We already got him, honey.
He can't see us anym—Copy !req
1074. Spence, I love you.Copy !req
1075. I love you, too, April.Copy !req
1076. If you weren't holding on
to me right now...Copy !req
1077. I'd float away.Copy !req
1078. You're my best friend,
and now you're a guy.Copy !req
1079. It's meant to be.Copy !req
1080. April...Copy !req
1081. You don't need me or any guyCopy !req
1082. to make you feel
beautiful and special...Copy !req
1083. Because you are.Copy !req
1084. You are the greatest girl
in the whole world.Copy !req
1085. You are all you need.Copy !req
1086. I know it's crazy,
but I can't help it.Copy !req
1087. I'm in love with you, Spence.Copy !req
1088. April...Copy !req
1089. You gonna be okay?Copy !req
1090. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1091. Don't be.Copy !req
1092. We're not gonna let
a little thing like...Copy !req
1093. Me turning into a man
and you wanting to be with meCopy !req
1094. get in the way
of our friendship, are we?Copy !req
1095. I'm in love with Billy.Copy !req
1096. And if I'm gonna be
stuck like this forever,Copy !req
1097. he's just gonna have to
accept me as I am —Copy !req
1098. A man.Copy !req
1099. That's my man.Copy !req
1100. I think I know
who's in Jessica's body.Copy !req
1101. And I know where we can find him.Copy !req
1102. Let's find Jessica
and get out of here.Copy !req
1103. Hildenburg, you know what to do.Copy !req
1104. Come on.Copy !req
1105. Come on.Copy !req
1106. That's a huge bitch.Copy !req
1107. I didn't see it coming.Copy !req
1108. No way, man.Copy !req
1109. Scoot. He's mine.Copy !req
1110. Mmm, boy, I don't think so.Copy !req
1111. Get away!Copy !req
1112. Billy...Copy !req
1113. It's me — Jessica.Copy !req
1114. It's always been me.Copy !req
1115. Mister...Copy !req
1116. You're freaking me out.Copy !req
1117. You know how when I touch you there,Copy !req
1118. it makes your whole leg tingle?Copy !req
1119. And when I touch you here...Copy !req
1120. No. No.
No, it can't be.Copy !req
1121. Do you remember
after the homecoming game...Copy !req
1122. After you threw the winning pass
to beat Carlmont,Copy !req
1123. you and I went
behind the scoreboard and...Copy !req
1124. You got to believe me.Copy !req
1125. Silly... billy... nilly.Copy !req
1126. Just close your eyes.Copy !req
1127. You'll know it's me.Copy !req
1128. Oh, I can't!
I can't do it!Copy !req
1129. You always said you'd love me
no matter what.Copy !req
1130. Bu— I — you're a 30-year-old dude!Copy !req
1131. Just on the outside!Copy !req
1132. Billy!Copy !req
1133. Bil—Copy !req
1134. We found your body.Copy !req
1135. It'll be fine.
Are you sure
she's all right?Copy !req
1136. I'm sure everything's
gonna be fine.
Booger!Copy !req
1137. Booger, hurry up!Copy !req
1138. Come on, buddy!Copy !req
1139. You got to learn to
run in those heels
if you're gonna wear them.Copy !req
1140. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1141. I knew it was gonna be a good night.Copy !req
1142. Ow! God.Copy !req
1143. Thanks, hildenburg.Copy !req
1144. I want my body back right now!Copy !req
1145. Well, finders keepers, sweetheart.Copy !req
1146. How dare you? Do you know what
this could do to my lungs?Copy !req
1147. You give me that earring!
Give me that earring!Copy !req
1148. You give me that earring.Copy !req
1149. Give it to me. Give it.
Give it to me.Copy !req
1150. Okay. Okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
1151. Sit down.
Calm down. Calm down.Copy !req
1152. I'll make you a deal, okay?Copy !req
1153. Now...Copy !req
1154. Just let me make another
500 bucks tonight, okay?Copy !req
1155. And then I'll give you your body backCopy !req
1156. 'cause it's so important to you.Copy !req
1157. "I'm crying about my body."Copy !req
1158. And then...Copy !req
1159. You can just loan it to me
every other weekendCopy !req
1160. and — so I can pay off
some gambling debts.Copy !req
1161. Weekends — loan you my body.Copy !req
1162. I want my body back!Copy !req
1163. Give me my body back!Copy !req
1164. Give —Copy !req
1165. Look at me.Copy !req
1166. I'm only gonna tell you this once —Copy !req
1167. No strangling the dancers
or you are out of here!Copy !req
1168. Now, can't you read?Copy !req
1169. Now, this is more like it.Copy !req
1170. I got to hit the head.Copy !req
1171. Hey, don't worry.Copy !req
1172. We're gonna get him.Copy !req
1173. Hey, babe.Copy !req
1174. Sweetheart.Copy !req
1175. No way!Copy !req
1176. Jessica?
This is where you've been?Copy !req
1177. I want a dance from you!Copy !req
1178. Ye-e-e-ah!Copy !req
1179. Mar—Copy !req
1180. So, dancing naked must be fun, huh?Copy !req
1181. Yeah, sure...Copy !req
1182. Why wouldn't it be?Copy !req
1183. Where do you keep your weed, though?Copy !req
1184. That's good.Copy !req
1185. I don't have one of those.Copy !req
1186. Sure.Copy !req
1187. Bye, Spence.Copy !req
1188. You'll always be my best friend.Copy !req
1189. Forever.Copy !req
1190. Billy?Copy !req
1191. Hi, Mrs. Spencer.Copy !req
1192. Mr. Spencer.Copy !req
1193. How's it going, booger?Copy !req
1194. This isn't the prom.Copy !req
1195. Oh, my god.Copy !req
1196. Anything yet?Copy !req
1197. No.Copy !req
1198. There you go!
Come on, shake it!Copy !req
1199. Whoo! You naughty
little honeybee.Copy !req
1200. Yes, you are!Copy !req
1201. Anything yet?Copy !req
1202. No.Copy !req
1203. I'm all right.
I'm o—Copy !req
1204. Hey, buddy?
How about a lap dance?Copy !req
1205. Hey! Can't you read?Copy !req
1206. Monday night's gay night.Copy !req
1207. What?Copy !req
1208. It's me?Copy !req
1209. Really?Copy !req
1210. It is!Copy !req
1211. It really is!Copy !req
1212. Taquito?Copy !req
1213. It's really you.Copy !req
1214. Billy.Copy !req
1215. Listen, I...
I'm so so—Copy !req
1216. Doesn't matter.Copy !req
1217. Nothing matters.Copy !req
1218. I don't care about the other
girl I took to the prom.Copy !req
1219. I don't care what Jake thinks.Copy !req
1220. I don't care that you took my money,Copy !req
1221. stole my dad's car,Copy !req
1222. and... tried to run me
down with it.Copy !req
1223. No, I —Copy !req
1224. None of that matters.Copy !req
1225. I'll even try to find a wayCopy !req
1226. to get over your new job
as an exotic dancer.Copy !req
1227. Billy...Copy !req
1228. Do you feel that?Copy !req
1229. You are the only boy
who makes my heartCopy !req
1230. beat faster and slower
at the same time.Copy !req
1231. I'm not pressing charges.Copy !req
1232. Hey, you better get back
onstage, little lady.Copy !req
1233. The only place
this little lady is goingCopy !req
1234. is home with me and my wife.Copy !req
1235. Hey, what kind of a place do you
think I'm running here, pal?Copy !req
1236. Class valedictorian —Copy !req
1237. Keecia "ling-ling" Jackson.Copy !req
1238. First of all,Copy !req
1239. I'd like to say I'm very proud
to be half Korean.Copy !req
1240. Thank you, honey!Copy !req
1241. But don't forget —Copy !req
1242. You're also one-quarter Jewish!Copy !req
1243. Mazel tov, baby!Copy !req
1244. Shalom!Copy !req
1245. Wait! Wait!Copy !req
1246. Hey, how's it going?Copy !req
1247. Hey, thanks for helping me out, man.Copy !req
1248. You're a good man.
You're a good guy.Copy !req
1249. Action!Copy !req
1250. Okay, let's think.Copy !req
1251. What could have caused this?Copy !req
1252. No clue.Copy !req
1253. I mean, my house is built on
an old Indian burial ground —Copy !req
1254. Sorry.
Let's try again.Copy !req
1255. Okay, let's think.Copy !req
1256. What could have caused this?Copy !req
1257. Sorry.Copy !req
1258. Okay, let's think.Copy !req
1259. What could have caused this?Copy !req
1260. No clue.Copy !req
1261. One more time.Copy !req
1262. What could have caused this?Copy !req
1263. Okay, one more time.Copy !req
1264. Okay, let's think.Copy !req
1265. What could have caused this?Copy !req
1266. Okay.Copy !req
1267. Okay, one more time.
I'm ready.Copy !req
1268. Okay, I'll get it.Copy !req
1269. I'm used to it.Copy !req
1270. I've got cheerleading practice,
the prom.Copy !req
1271. Oh h-hang on.Copy !req
1272. Action!Copy !req
1273. No clue.Copy !req
1274. Cut!Copy !req
1275. Action!Copy !req
1276. No clue.Copy !req
1277. I mean, my house is built
on an old Indian burial ground.Copy !req
1278. Sorr—Copy !req
1279. Aha! Here we go.Copy !req
1280. Sorry.Copy !req
1281. Action!Copy !req
1282. No clue.Copy !req
1283. I mean —Copy !req
1284. Sorry.
I'll get through it.Copy !req
1285. Aaah! Here we go.
I'm sorry. Give me that.Copy !req
1286. Are you saying...Copy !req
1287. People think I'm perfect?Copy !req
1288. Are you saying...Copy !req
1289. People think I'm perfect?Copy !req
1290. Sorry.Copy !req
1291. Are you saying...Copy !req
1292. People think I'm perfect?Copy !req
1293. Okay.
Okay.Copy !req
1294. Then we got it?Copy !req
1295. I think we got it.
All right.Copy !req