1. How do you do?Copy !req
2. Mr. Rob Zombie feels it would
be a little unkindCopy !req
3. to present this picture without
just a word of friendly warning.Copy !req
4. We are about to unfold
the story of El Superbeasto,Copy !req
5. a man of action.Copy !req
6. It is one of the strangest
tales ever told.Copy !req
7. I think it will thrill you.Copy !req
8. It may shock you.Copy !req
9. It might even horrify you.Copy !req
10. So if any of you feel that you
do not care to subject your nervesCopy !req
11. to such a strain,Copy !req
12. now's your chance to, uh—Copy !req
13. Well, we warned you.Copy !req
14. All right now, bitches, listen up.Copy !req
15. The director's on the set.
The director is on the set!Copy !req
16. Howdy-doodly-doo, ladies?
Gather round, gather round.Copy !req
17. Big Time Movie Casting
is now in session.Copy !req
18. I've got a very special porno—
I mean art film— to shoot today.Copy !req
19. So, time to get a-crack-a-lackin'.Copy !req
20. You heard him.
Get your asses a-crack-a-lackin'!Copy !req
21. Now just to let you know, I'm not
one of those shallow Hollywood typesCopy !req
22. that casts based on looks.Copy !req
23. I'm all about pure talent.Copy !req
24. I want the audience to believe
in the characters,Copy !req
25. to experience the emotions,Copy !req
26. breathe in the spicy meatball man,Copy !req
27. as they breathe life itself.Copy !req
28. All right, Granny,Copy !req
29. tell me a little about
why I should ignore the factCopy !req
30. that you're, like,
a thousand years old.Copy !req
31. In 1910, I attended the
Royal Academy of Dramatic ArtsCopy !req
32. - on full scholarship, winning the...
- Next.Copy !req
33. stunning portrayal of Blanche DuboisCopy !req
34. Oh my God!Copy !req
35. I know I'm, like,
totally like a star.Copy !req
36. I know it!Copy !req
37. Perfect perfect!Copy !req
38. You're hired. Next.Copy !req
39. I dig into the inner texture
of the soul of the characterCopy !req
40. and reflect society's issues with women...Copy !req
41. - ... and their hatred of the vagina.
- Next!Copy !req
42. - Let me tell you—
- No.Copy !req
43. - I'd really like to—
- Next!Copy !req
44. - People make me nauseous.
- No way!Copy !req
45. - Hello!
- Nope.Copy !req
46. - Who do I have to fuck—
- No.Copy !req
47. - Oh, Edgar, why did you—
- Ugh!Copy !req
48. - I'm ready for my— whoa!
- Next!Copy !req
49. Well, hello, honeypants.Copy !req
50. I think a good tan is as importantCopy !req
51. as a good script, you know?Copy !req
52. Also, I can't really read so good,Copy !req
53. but I can do 300 crunches
without stopping.Copy !req
54. Words are so overrated.Copy !req
55. But on the other hand, tight abs—
so underrated.Copy !req
56. Oh, oh my God.Copy !req
57. Quiet on the set!Copy !req
58. Sound speeds.Copy !req
59. "Big Spicy Meatball Macho Man,"
take one.Copy !req
60. Man #2:
And action!Copy !req
61. Uh, line.Copy !req
62. "Mama mia, how about
some a-delicious sauce— "Copy !req
63. Yeah yeah, I got it.Copy !req
64. Man #2:
Okay, and we're still rolling, mate.Copy !req
65. Mama mia, how about
some delicious sauceCopy !req
66. for the spicy a-jumbo meatballs?Copy !req
67. Ow! What are you,
like totally weird?Copy !req
68. That's, like, so hot!Copy !req
69. If it's not a-hot, how am I
gonna melt-a the cheese?Copy !req
70. Luigi, she wonder why
it is too hot.Copy !req
71. The cheese a-not gonna melt!Copy !req
72. Aw, shut up a you face.Copy !req
73. God!Copy !req
74. That's what I call a spicy meatball!Copy !req
75. - Oh, Luigi!
- Oh!Copy !req
76. - Mama mia!
- You like-a Luigi?Copy !req
77. Yes, a-you do!Copy !req
78. Mama mia!Copy !req
79. Ahhhh!Copy !req
80. How do you like-a
my canole now, eh?Copy !req
81. I'm gonna fill you up
with my cream!Copy !req
82. Oh, Mama. The big finish—
she's inside!Copy !req
83. Get ready!
Holy monkey!Copy !req
84. That wasn't in the script!Copy !req
85. Here we go again.Copy !req
86. Please tell me
that was good for focus.Copy !req
87. Yeah, focus was good.
We got it.Copy !req
88. Check that gate, baby!Copy !req
89. Yeah, good gate.Copy !req
90. That's a wrap. Make sure
you hand in your paperworkCopy !req
91. to Production before you leave.Copy !req
92. Whoo! After a hard day
of directing-slash-acting,Copy !req
93. there's only one way
I like to chillax.Copy !req
94. Titty bar!Copy !req
95. Now let's see.
Confidence? Check.Copy !req
96. Frighteningly chiseled
good looks? Check.Copy !req
97. Noticeable obscene bulgeCopy !req
98. emanating from the lower region?Copy !req
99. What the fuck?Copy !req
100. A check-a-doodle-doo.Copy !req
101. Later, G.Copy !req
102. Keep it real, playa.Copy !req
103. Hey, I'm here to kill the bats.Copy !req
104. Carry on, my simpleminded,
minimum-wage friend.Copy !req
105. Yeah, I only kill these things
on the side.Copy !req
106. I got me an application in
to the Dinky Donuts.Copy !req
107. I know I know,
you want an autograph.Copy !req
108. Oh, that'd be great.Copy !req
109. Sorry, I don't sign.Copy !req
110. I feel it damages
my artistic credibility.Copy !req
111. - What?
- Oh, fine.Copy !req
112. Take a headshot, and here,
a Superbeasto bumper sticker.Copy !req
113. Put it on your shit car.
Now lay off!Copy !req
114. Cow-a-yay-ya!Copy !req
115. It's about time for my theme song,
don't you think?Copy !req
116. Maestro, if you please.Copy !req
117. Ring announcer:
His hands are like hammers.Copy !req
118. Each one is too big.
All surrender.Copy !req
119. He renders them tenderized meat!Copy !req
120. Men yelling: Ram 'em, jam 'em,
block 'em, clock 'em!Copy !req
121. Oh, shit!Copy !req
122. Hey, man, what the hell?Copy !req
123. I get my hands on you, I—Copy !req
124. Gee, wipers—
whoo hoo hoo!Copy !req
125. Hiya, Beasto.
Good to see you back.Copy !req
126. Well, it's good to see
your back too!Copy !req
127. - Or should I say crack?
- Oh, Beasto!Copy !req
128. Nice rack, buddy.Copy !req
129. Houston,
we no longer have a problem.Copy !req
130. Time for a little
hair of the dog that bit me, Lloyd.Copy !req
131. Get it? "The Shining"?Copy !req
132. Hilarious.Copy !req
133. A fucking comedian.Copy !req
134. What'll it be, Beasto?Copy !req
135. I ain't in the mood for
tired '80s references, man.Copy !req
136. Make it the Ethel Merman.Copy !req
137. And because I'm a man
of superior taste,Copy !req
138. I will take an order
of your tasty hot wings.Copy !req
139. Doh!Copy !req
140. Sorry, was this seat taken?Copy !req
141. Yello, Beasto World Enterprises.Copy !req
142. Beasto, I'm in position.
Operation Iron Eagle is a go.Copy !req
143. Yeah, that's not really gonna
work for me.Copy !req
144. Can we pencil this in
for next Thursday?Copy !req
145. - Are you in a bar?
- No, I'm not in a bar!Copy !req
146. I'm entering a bad cell area.Copy !req
147. I might lose—Copy !req
148. Suzy?Copy !req
149. That was my agent. I'm working
a whole synergy thingCopy !req
150. with a win-win crossover
demographic branding thing.Copy !req
151. You wouldn't understand.Copy !req
152. Achtung, blondie!Copy !req
153. - No running in the halls!
- Hiya!Copy !req
154. Take that, Aryan assholes!Copy !req
155. What in the name
of the Fuhrer's head—Copy !req
156. Gotta stay sweet.Copy !req
157. O.M.G.
Giant spiky iron ball?Copy !req
158. So cliché.Copy !req
159. I hate to waste you, sweetie,
but it's all in the name of freedom.Copy !req
160. Uh-oh.Copy !req
161. Feet, start moving!Copy !req
162. Whoa, Mama!Copy !req
163. I bet MacGyver never had
anything like this next to his ta-tas!Copy !req
164. Weee!Copy !req
165. Hey, Murray, baby.
Did you miss me?Copy !req
166. Yes, of course I missed you.Copy !req
167. I missed you like the stars
miss the moon.Copy !req
168. Murray, you need a girlfriend.Copy !req
169. Hmm. If only I could
think of someone.Copy !req
170. I was thinking—
I mean, I thought of someone—Copy !req
171. Hold that thought.Copy !req
172. We better make like
a banana and split, baby.Copy !req
173. Uh, okay.Copy !req
174. Hey, man, what's a girl gotta do
to get a theme song around here?Copy !req
175. Hi, I'm El Superbeasto,
and I always useCopy !req
176. - Dandruff Away shampoo...
- Wow, this is embarrassing.Copy !req
177. It's my commercial.Copy !req
178. On the TV, right up there.Copy !req
179. have any more flakes
on my clothes.Copy !req
180. People thought
I either didn't showerCopy !req
181. or had a bad coke problem.Copy !req
182. May cause anal bleeding,
penis shrinkage, migraine headaches,Copy !req
183. and nipple crumbling.Copy !req
184. You got a problem, Rover?Copy !req
185. Go blow yourself, has-been.Copy !req
186. Ooh, easy, Beasto.Copy !req
187. Not now, darling.
I need to smash a little fuckface.Copy !req
188. Oh my God, you killed him!Copy !req
189. Calm down, folks.Copy !req
190. You can't do any real damage
to a werewolf without silver.Copy !req
191. The kid doesn't look so good.Copy !req
192. No worries. He's fine.Copy !req
193. Nothing to see here.Copy !req
194. - Oh, silver— not the silver.
- Back to your drinks.Copy !req
195. - Oh, Beasto!
- Hey, bumper pool.Copy !req
196. I'm next!Copy !req
197. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
198. Mmm.Copy !req
199. Women,
women everywhere,Copy !req
200. but none of them
bear the mark.Copy !req
201. My army of video voyeur bats
are everywhere,Copy !req
202. and I can spy on them all!Copy !req
203. I can see them in their showers,Copy !req
204. in their boudoirs,
even on the can.Copy !req
205. Where are you,
my future queen of evil?Copy !req
206. Ah, look who is in the paper!Copy !req
207. Give me that,
you silly noodle-ass!Copy !req
208. Steve Wachowski?Copy !req
209. How many times do I have to
tell them it's Dr. Satan?Copy !req
210. Dr. Satan!
Dr. Satan!Copy !req
211. Steve Wachowski is no more.Copy !req
212. There there.
Who's the big man?Copy !req
213. I told them.Copy !req
214. I- I- I told the editors.Copy !req
215. I even legally changed my name.Copy !req
216. It's not you, it's them.Copy !req
217. I am evil, aren't I, Otto?Copy !req
218. - Really really scary?
- Yes yes.Copy !req
219. We all tremble
at your very name.Copy !req
220. - You do?
- And by midnight tonightCopy !req
221. so will the rest
of the world.Copy !req
222. Do tell, Otto.Copy !req
223. Tell me again how I will gain
all the sudsy powers of hell!Copy !req
224. Oh God, here we go again.Copy !req
225. Now pay attention,
because this is serious shit.Copy !req
226. In the Book of Revelations
the Number of the BeastCopy !req
227. Is 600 and three-score six—
oh yeah!Copy !req
228. "Here" is an adverb of location
referring to this castle.Copy !req
229. "Meatpole" is an adjective
describing the kind of ride.Copy !req
230. Marriage is a contractual union
generally recognized by society,Copy !req
231. religion, and/or government.
In other words, legalized fucking!Copy !req
232. Into one giant fierce
horrifying Dr. SatanCopy !req
233. with all the
sudsy powers of hell.Copy !req
234. All the sudsy powers of hell!Copy !req
235. I will be kicking some
major ass, buster!Copy !req
236. Hurry, Otto, to the joystick!Copy !req
237. Ladies and gentlemen, the
Haunted Palace is proud to present—Copy !req
238. Miss Velvet von Black.Copy !req
239. Oh oh oh, is that it, Otto?Copy !req
240. The mark— I think I see the mark.Copy !req
241. I think that mark could be
due to G-string chafing.Copy !req
242. Otto, you must fetch her for me.Copy !req
243. That could be the mark
of my unholy bride!Copy !req
244. Just when I've almost
perfected my soufflé.Copy !req
245. Listen, you, you wouldn't
even be able to say souffléCopy !req
246. if I hadn't put that smart screw
in your head.Copy !req
247. I can always take it out,
you know,Copy !req
248. send you back to the jungle.Copy !req
249. You remember the
jungle, don't you?Copy !req
250. Not the jungle!
There's no cable in the jungle!Copy !req
251. Are we on the same page,
monkey?Copy !req
252. Yes yes, master, yes.Copy !req
253. Now huff it out of
here, gold brick!Copy !req
254. Ooh! Ooh! Ahh! Ahh!Copy !req
255. It's hot out.Copy !req
256. Tomorrow's
gonna be even hotter,Copy !req
257. they say.Copy !req
258. Yes, hot weather
happens in the summer.Copy !req
259. See the game last night?Copy !req
260. A real white-knuckler.Copy !req
261. That Puerto Rican kidCopy !req
262. can really hit.Copy !req
263. Okay, then.Copy !req
264. Here we go. See ya.Copy !req
265. Ah, finally.Copy !req
266. Ooh! Ooh! Ahh! Ahh!Copy !req
267. I think I left a nickel onstage.Copy !req
268. Consider it my donation
to the Sad-Ass Ho Club.Copy !req
269. Ay! What did she say?Copy !req
270. I said "sad ho,"Copy !req
271. you sad-ass deaf ho.Copy !req
272. Funny!Copy !req
273. Goddamn wedgies
up in my pussy and shit.Copy !req
274. Excuse me, but I didn't see no sign
saying "dumb-ass ape wanted."Copy !req
275. How charming.Copy !req
276. All right. Here we go.Copy !req
277. Keep it simple.
No fancy stuff needed.Copy !req
278. After all, she's only a stripper.Copy !req
279. You're a world-famous
man of action.Copy !req
280. No need to be nervous.Copy !req
281. Hello, Miss von Black?Copy !req
282. Come on, get in there.Copy !req
283. Excuse me?
Didn't catch that.Copy !req
284. Come come come!Copy !req
285. Come in? I don't mind if I do.Copy !req
286. I hope you're not decent!Copy !req
287. Yowza!Copy !req
288. Hey, should I leave or join in?Copy !req
289. I'm just gonna go.Copy !req
290. Come on, Beasto.
Flowers? Beer hat?Copy !req
291. Stop thinking with your brain
and start thinking with your c—Copy !req
292. Do I look like a wheelbarrow?Copy !req
293. Get your hands off me!Copy !req
294. Did you say something?Copy !req
295. Negative.Copy !req
296. Hello, will somebody get
a monkey off a bitch?Copy !req
297. Take your stinking paws
off her, you damn dirty ape!Copy !req
298. Now that's a little derivative,
don't you think?Copy !req
299. That is one kinky broad.Copy !req
300. Hello, am I in for some
hot monkey love? Hmm? Is that it?Copy !req
301. Would you keep quiet? This is
humiliating enough.Copy !req
302. What would Penelope say if she
knew I was with someone like you?Copy !req
303. Be-atch, your shit should be honored.Copy !req
304. I bet if I save Velvet
from that screwy apeCopy !req
305. she'll love me long time.Copy !req
306. But my order of hot wings
is almost up,Copy !req
307. and I do love the hot wings.Copy !req
308. Draping my ass over your
hairy-ass fucking shouldersCopy !req
309. like I was a mink-ass stole and shit.Copy !req
310. - Mink stole? More like a stanky mole.
- Motherfucker!Copy !req
311. If you want to scratch this here,Copy !req
312. you better watch
your ass mouth!Copy !req
313. Oh, but she does
have an amazing ass.Copy !req
314. And those jumbo jiggly-wigglies!Copy !req
315. The only thing that comes closeCopy !req
316. is the bleu cheese
they give you with the wings.Copy !req
317. You see, the wings are spicy,Copy !req
318. and the bleu cheese
cools them off just so.Copy !req
319. Madam, you repulse me.Copy !req
320. Hey, monkey, where's
your organ grinder?Copy !req
321. I find that very hurtful.Copy !req
322. Oh, boo hoo.
You know what else is hurtful?Copy !req
323. Your thumb all up in my ass.Copy !req
324. My thumb is not in your ass!Copy !req
325. Well, why not?
What are you, queer?Copy !req
326. Aw! I'll save the day.Copy !req
327. Celebrity coming through.Copy !req
328. Out of the way, lard-ass.Copy !req
329. Grab my car, pronto.
I'm in a hurry.Copy !req
330. Hey, get to the back
of the fucking line!Copy !req
331. People, people,
I only have so many headshots.Copy !req
332. Motherfucker,
I don't want this!Copy !req
333. Fine. Here's a free copy
of my new CD, "Beasto Crankies."Copy !req
334. It's a full 40 minutes
of phony phone calls.Copy !req
335. Hi, I'm calling from the bank.Copy !req
336. Beasto, nigga, I know it's you!Copy !req
337. No, it's not Beasto.
I'm calling from the bank.Copy !req
338. Beasto, you hear me?Copy !req
339. Stop calling my ass.Copy !req
340. - I have some—
- Beasto—Copy !req
341. Banking business to—Copy !req
342. Now I'm off to see Suzi X.Copy !req
343. What a dickhead!Copy !req
344. Thank you!Copy !req
345. Okay, I'll make you a deal.Copy !req
346. You surrender
the head of the Fuhrer, okay,Copy !req
347. and we promise
we will show you mercy.Copy !req
348. That's the best I can do.Copy !req
349. Oh, I love it when you boys
talk all nasty Nazi to me.Copy !req
350. I get all crazy inside.Copy !req
351. - Now, who wants a little head?
- I do, I do, I do!Copy !req
352. - Uh-oh.
- What was that, Murray?Copy !req
353. Oh, the flu, that's what I meant.
I think I'm getting it.Copy !req
354. - Get the Fuhrer's head, Hans, Wilhelm!
- Jawohl!Copy !req
355. Get the Fuhrer's head.
Show the Nazis how to do it, please.Copy !req
356. Hold me tightly,
big strong paisan!Copy !req
357. Holy crap!Copy !req
358. Zip it and start spinning,
pussycat!Copy !req
359. Oh, God.Copy !req
360. Cow-a-ya-ya!Copy !req
361. Beasto, what are
you doing here?Copy !req
362. - Hold this. Hah!
- Hey, I recognize this dude.Copy !req
363. He's the Little Tramp!Copy !req
364. He's hysterical.Copy !req
365. He's taller than I thought.Copy !req
366. What's up, bro?
What's the dealio, yo?Copy !req
367. I need your help
with a little problem.Copy !req
368. I mean, it's barely even that, really.Copy !req
369. - Let's call it a situation.
- Beasto, man,Copy !req
370. don't waste my time.
Is this about pussy?Copy !req
371. - No.
- Poontang?Copy !req
372. - Nada.
- Tool shed?Copy !req
373. - Nein.
- Cockpit?Copy !req
374. - Nope.
- Love box?Copy !req
375. - Negative.
- Fur patch?Copy !req
376. - No.
- Bearded clam? Nipsey Russell?Copy !req
377. Fish patty?
Panty hamster?Copy !req
378. Vertical bacon sandwich?Copy !req
379. - No ma'am.
- Okay, I'll help.Copy !req
380. You didn't say bat cave.Copy !req
381. What did you say?Copy !req
382. I said,Copy !req
383. it seems a crafty monkey
with a big screw in his headCopy !req
384. kidnapped this sweet, innocent
little village girl against her will,Copy !req
385. in front of my very eyes.Copy !req
386. The balls.Copy !req
387. Primate kidnappers?
Sounds groovy, baby. I'm in.Copy !req
388. But if you're just trying to
get into said village girl's knickers,Copy !req
389. then you are gonna be
the sorry chimp, buster.Copy !req
390. Dynamite!Copy !req
391. Find out what tree the smelly ape
is hiding in and hit my digits.Copy !req
392. - It's easy as pie.
- Yeah, no shit, Sherlock.Copy !req
393. What exactly are you gonna do?Copy !req
394. For shizzle. I'm gonna keep it real,
talk to my peeps,Copy !req
395. get the 411 from my boys
back in the hood, yo.Copy !req
396. Oh, and here's your pickled Fuhrer.Copy !req
397. All right, Shitler Youth,
it's your lucky day!Copy !req
398. You want it? Here it is.
Come and get it!Copy !req
399. Agh! My Fuhrer!Copy !req
400. I will save you!Copy !req
401. At last, mein Fuhrer,
you are home!Copy !req
402. All hail the Fuhrer!Copy !req
403. Our fearless leader
has returned!Copy !req
404. Whoo!Copy !req
405. I think you're gonna like
this new design.Copy !req
406. Mein Fuhrer, why do you
not sing with us, hmm?Copy !req
407. Oh, what a big breath mint.Copy !req
408. So I told that bitch,
"Step off them pumps, ho!Copy !req
409. Them shits are mine!"Copy !req
410. Where the fuck we gong now?Copy !req
411. What kind of "Fright Night"
bullshit is this?Copy !req
412. Oh, please refrain
from speaking.Copy !req
413. I know you must be proud
of your beauty-school education,Copy !req
414. but your constant use of profanityCopy !req
415. is an assault on my
Wellingtonian sensibilities.Copy !req
416. I ain't the one with a dingleberryCopy !req
417. hanging off my ass hairs,
nasty ape and shit.Copy !req
418. Yes, well I'm not so sure about that.Copy !req
419. The stank in this landfill
is killing my coif.Copy !req
420. I'm gonna have to get
Tananeesha now to fix my weave.Copy !req
421. Hey, how about them gas prices?Copy !req
422. Not that I have any place to go.Copy !req
423. Hey, monkey.
Hello?Copy !req
424. I think he's talking to you.Copy !req
425. He sure-ass ain't talking to me.Copy !req
426. T.G.I.F., huh?Copy !req
427. Yeah.Copy !req
428. Friday already?
Seems like Wednesday.Copy !req
429. All day.Copy !req
430. Oh. Speaking of gas prices. Ew!Copy !req
431. Shit. Even my ass is bored.Copy !req
432. Don't think I'm apologizing,
neither.Copy !req
433. - You know that shit smells good.
- Otto: Oh, delicious,Copy !req
434. the plowman's lunch.Copy !req
435. Elevator man:
Finally got that itching under control.Copy !req
436. - Otto: Oh, God.
- Yeah, nipped that right in the bud.Copy !req
437. Hey, what's wrong
with your car?Copy !req
438. Hey, fellas.Copy !req
439. What the friggidy-fuck?
Hello to you too.Copy !req
440. Yo, ese, where you been?Copy !req
441. Turned your back
on your homeboys, huh?Copy !req
442. - Blood is blood.
- Yeah, whoo, I've been, like, crazy busy.Copy !req
443. I lost my cell phone too.Copy !req
444. I lost, like, every number.Copy !req
445. You look good, really good.
You losing weight?Copy !req
446. That's not cool, homes.Copy !req
447. You could have been dead
in a ditch somewhere.Copy !req
448. We were worried sick.Copy !req
449. Rodriguez hasn't slept
in a month.Copy !req
450. Look, Rico, you're my homey.Copy !req
451. And as Ricky Ricardo said to Fred,Copy !req
452. "Don't be such a pussy."Copy !req
453. Look what you've done
to Rodriguez now.Copy !req
454. You are so mean.Copy !req
455. Oh, boo-hoo.Copy !req
456. Look, I need some info
on a giant horny ape, pronto, amigos.Copy !req
457. Not so fast, homes.Copy !req
458. First, we gotta see
if you're still one of us.Copy !req
459. I was afraid of this.Copy !req
460. No way!Copy !req
461. Are you still the man, bro!Copy !req
462. Yes I am!Copy !req
463. I missed you guys.Copy !req
464. Get in here!Copy !req
465. Okay.Copy !req
466. Getting a little gay, fellas.Copy !req
467. This is it. Make
yourself comfortable.Copy !req
468. No, don't— I'm afraid
of what that might entail.Copy !req
469. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
470. Flat screen! Mmm.Copy !req
471. Sweet. Better be
fucking plasma.Copy !req
472. Better be a fucking minibar.Copy !req
473. Hot damn, there is!
You did good, monkey.Copy !req
474. I'll be back to run your bath.Copy !req
475. Perhaps performing some ablutions
will make you more palatable.Copy !req
476. - And try to remain somewhat coherent.
- What did you just call me?Copy !req
477. You're the one who's all
fucking coherent and shit.Copy !req
478. What the hell are these
tiny bottles for, huh?Copy !req
479. What you think I am,
a fucking midget or something?Copy !req
480. I ain't no Lilliputian and shit!Copy !req
481. Nice mouth. You'll make
the perfect bride.Copy !req
482. Now...
ooh!Copy !req
483. There we go. Hello.Copy !req
484. Attaboy, attaboy!Copy !req
485. That's it. Keep it going!
Yeah.Copy !req
486. Ho, ho, come on, buddy,
stick with it!Copy !req
487. Stick with it, stick with it!
Oh, oh, yeah!Copy !req
488. Keep it up,
keep it up, yeah!Copy !req
489. Dr. Satan, I—
whoopsy!Copy !req
490. What did I say about
me in the bedroom?Copy !req
491. Dreadfully sorry about
interrupting your wank, sir.Copy !req
492. A Miss von Black
is in her room.Copy !req
493. Sorry, nothing.
Get out!Copy !req
494. Damn it!
That moment is ruined.Copy !req
495. Hmm.Copy !req
496. Come on, Suzi, call!Copy !req
497. What am I up against?Copy !req
498. I do not call this professional.Copy !req
499. Aw, screw it. What's
the worst that could happen?Copy !req
500. No no!Copy !req
501. Nah.Copy !req
502. That stuff only happens
in the movies.Copy !req
503. Yeah...Copy !req
504. - What the—
- Right there. Oh, yeah...Copy !req
505. Oh, you're a dirty little girl,
aren't you?Copy !req
506. - Daddy likey.
- Ohh...Copy !req
507. Oh, you want to make
little sounds.Copy !req
508. Ow-a-ya-ya.Copy !req
509. Ooh ooh oohCopy !req
510. Yowza!Copy !req
511. Damn, baby, your shit is tight.
Mmm-mm-mm.Copy !req
512. - Burt?
- Hey, Beasto.Copy !req
513. Burt, you sly dog.Copy !req
514. Hey, listen, have you seen
a monkey run through here?Copy !req
515. Man, he went that way carrying
some grade-A booty, you dig?Copy !req
516. Hey! That's cold, baby!Copy !req
517. Give me a call if this
doesn't work out.Copy !req
518. Hey, squirrel, do I look like
I want to talk to you?Copy !req
519. I ain't here to talk. I'm here
for the all-American ass party.Copy !req
520. How about you make yourself useful
and go get me some beer nuts?Copy !req
521. Oh, Mama, I got your nuts
right here. Why don't you salt 'em—Copy !req
522. Sorry about the door.
I just had sex.Copy !req
523. All right, babies, listen up!Copy !req
524. It's Suzi X!Copy !req
525. I just remembered I've got to go
visit my sister Bernice in Newark.Copy !req
526. I've got to put some
ointment on her fistula.Copy !req
527. So long!Copy !req
528. You see that girl?
The one killing?Copy !req
529. She's my girlfriend.Copy !req
530. - Oh, let's spank them pushin' cushions!
- No!Copy !req
531. That's fresh.Copy !req
532. Funbags are fully inflated and are
ready for official clown business.Copy !req
533. Oh, you want some clown business,
do you, greaseball?Copy !req
534. Well,Copy !req
535. dig these buns of steel!Copy !req
536. Ow, my hand, you bitch!Copy !req
537. I need some info on
an ugly, filthy, stinky ape,Copy !req
538. and I'm gonna squeeze every one
of you zits until one of you pops.Copy !req
539. I have to take this.
It's my agent. Pilot season.Copy !req
540. Uh, have we heard anything?Copy !req
541. Oh, really?
Fred Savage? Great.Copy !req
542. That's all I'm saying. If Flavor Flav
can do it, why not me?Copy !req
543. See, now we're on the same page...Copy !req
544. Dr. Satan, that is the
barrel-chested luchadorCopy !req
545. that saw me kidnap
Miss von Black!Copy !req
546. So? The graveyard is
crammed with security.Copy !req
547. What's the big stinkeroo?Copy !req
548. Ooh, pretty.Copy !req
549. I'm not yelling at you!Copy !req
550. I'm not— I'm not yelling at you.Copy !req
551. I'm just saying I deserve
to be a star.Copy !req
552. Well, I am— I know I'm a star,Copy !req
553. but I want to be a
bigger fucking star.Copy !req
554. Um, I gotta go.Copy !req
555. Listen to me, tootsie.Copy !req
556. Ain't no dame ever gonna
make me turn pigeon, you hear?Copy !req
557. I've been kicked around by the best!Copy !req
558. Joey the Roach, Frankie the Mug,
Jimmy the Cracker—Copy !req
559. All right, you little worm,
you got until I count to threeCopy !req
560. to tell me who that smelly ape
with the screw in his nogginCopy !req
561. is working for or I'm gonna
blow your little friggin' worm headCopy !req
562. - into a million pieces!
- Aw, blow me!Copy !req
563. - Uno...
- "F" you!Copy !req
564. - ... dos...
- Bet you can't even count to three.Copy !req
565. and three—
I mean tres!Copy !req
566. Go ahead, blondie.
I don't want to live, you hear me?Copy !req
567. I don't want to live!Copy !req
568. Ah, fine. Dr. Satan.Copy !req
569. Murray, we've got a name, an address.Copy !req
570. Let's move, Tin Man!Copy !req
571. Thanks, fellas.
Nice ass kicking!Copy !req
572. Ta-ta!Copy !req
573. You picked the wrong guy
on the wrong night.Copy !req
574. I just lost another goddamn pilot
to that punk from "Malcolm in the Middle"!Copy !req
575. You like that?Copy !req
576. This is the result of several pushups
and that new ab thingy.Copy !req
577. It looks kind of shitty
but it really works.Copy !req
578. Ow, my ball joint!Copy !req
579. Listen, ass pile,Copy !req
580. get out of my fucking fuckface.Copy !req
581. No, you get out of my friggin' face!Copy !req
582. Out of the way, Sally.Copy !req
583. No siree, Barbara!Copy !req
584. Look, Mary,
I'm an A-list celebrity.Copy !req
585. I don't have time for this shit!Copy !req
586. Oh, yeah? Well, you're
also on private property,Copy !req
587. you stupid baby.Copy !req
588. Hold that thought.Copy !req
589. Yello?Copy !req
590. Who loves you, baby?Copy !req
591. Dig it— I got the lowdown
on the hoedown.Copy !req
592. Yeah, the ape works for
some cat called Dr. Satan,Copy !req
593. and he's trying to take
over the world.Copy !req
594. Huh. Yeah, right!Copy !req
595. Dr. Satan? Holy schnikeys!Copy !req
596. What would that crazy fruit ball
want with my lady?Copy !req
597. Did you say "your lady"?Copy !req
598. I knew this was about pussy!Copy !req
599. Cell phone people are so rude!Copy !req
600. Beasto, are you all right?
Are you okay?Copy !req
601. Fred Savage, is that you?Copy !req
602. Murray, I can dig a scene, and
this one is about to swing mondo.Copy !req
603. Beasto's hit the ultraskids and
I ain't a dame to take it on the archesCopy !req
604. with a brother in Dragsville, baby.Copy !req
605. Oh, my!Copy !req
606. God damn it,
Otto! Don't you ever knock?Copy !req
607. Oh, ho ho. Who the fuck is that?Copy !req
608. Quit with the charade.
Nobody's buying it.Copy !req
609. Everybody in this room
knows who I am.Copy !req
610. Am I right, people?Copy !req
611. - You!
- Hold the short bus. I know you!Copy !req
612. You're that dorky freshman
who was obsessed with my sister.Copy !req
613. No, I'm not.
I'm Dr. Satan!Copy !req
614. Yeah yeah yeah.Copy !req
615. You're little
Stevie Pee-Pee-Pants Wachowski.Copy !req
616. Be aggressive!
B- E aggressive...Copy !req
617. Okay, nice song, nerd.Copy !req
618. Listen to this one.Copy !req
619. Hey!Copy !req
620. Yeah!Copy !req
621. Get a load of this, ladies.Copy !req
622. I'm awesome!
I'm awesome! I'm awesome!Copy !req
623. Let's not go through all that again.Copy !req
624. Just hand Velvet over
like a good little nerdCopy !req
625. and I can get busy
tapping that ass.Copy !req
626. All right, listen up,
you dumb jock.Copy !req
627. Velvet von Black is mine!Copy !req
628. At midnight she will be
my unholy bride and all mine!Copy !req
629. Mine! Mine mine mine mine mine!Copy !req
630. Oh, is that me?Copy !req
631. I gotta take this.Copy !req
632. Yello?Copy !req
633. Talk to me, baby.Copy !req
634. Give me some good news.Copy !req
635. Oh, really?Copy !req
636. Krongarr, discipline him!Copy !req
637. Yes, master, yes!Copy !req
638. That's right, bitch!Copy !req
639. Yeah, we'll see who's wedgie boy now,
hmm, hotshot? Hmm?Copy !req
640. Ouch!Copy !req
641. There you are. Yo, go pass me
some more of that Champagney shit.Copy !req
642. Oh, God.
Hold still.Copy !req
643. Hey hey, easy with
that brush, you creep!Copy !req
644. I'm tender-headed!Copy !req
645. Believe me, I don't want to
do this any more than you do.Copy !req
646. Don't front. You know you
staring at my Wonder Twins.Copy !req
647. You want your monkey juice
on these shits, don't you?Copy !req
648. No, put the twins to bed.Copy !req
649. I would rather shuck out my eyes
with a rusty clam knife.Copy !req
650. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
651. Hand me that bottle, Bozo.Copy !req
652. Here you go— oh!Copy !req
653. Hey hey hey, you're dirtying
my bathwater, monkey.Copy !req
654. Whoa. Oh.Copy !req
655. Ooh, hey, that's not half bad.Copy !req
656. Hidden talents and shit.Copy !req
657. Agh!
Oh, the stench!Copy !req
658. It's like bilge water
from the River Thames!Copy !req
659. Now why'd you stop?
I'm the one who tells you when.Copy !req
660. - Shit!
- It was a mistake, I assure you,Copy !req
661. like casting George Lazenby
as 007.Copy !req
662. Mistake, my ass. You know, once
you go black you never go back.Copy !req
663. That's von Black, bitch.Copy !req
664. I need some mouthwash
and a mind eraser immediately!Copy !req
665. Why? Why? Why?Copy !req
666. Why? Why?
Why?Copy !req
667. Male voice:
Hey, brother, snap out of it!Copy !req
668. That's just perfect.Copy !req
669. All right, who said it?Copy !req
670. Who dared interrupt
my big moment?Copy !req
671. Well, that would
be me, brother,Copy !req
672. the toughest mat-grappler
this side of your mama's panties—Copy !req
673. El Gato!Copy !req
674. Who really gives a shit?Copy !req
675. Now if you'll excuse me,
I'm busy.Copy !req
676. - Director: Okay, bring it up.
- Camera assistant: How's that?Copy !req
677. - Up a bit, yeah.
- That good?Copy !req
678. - Okay, that's it.
- Scene 67, take 2.Copy !req
679. Um— damn it.Copy !req
680. See, this is what happens.Copy !req
681. Line, please.Copy !req
682. - "Why?"
- Oh, right.Copy !req
683. Why? Why? Why?Copy !req
684. Why? Why?
Why?Copy !req
685. I can't believe you're here.
My idol,Copy !req
686. locked in chains like
a towelhead at Guantanamo.Copy !req
687. Yeah, well, this is
a temporary setback, see?Copy !req
688. You remember when
I was pitted againstCopy !req
689. the Raging Earth's Crust
at the Razzledome?Copy !req
690. - No.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
691. He was squeezing my headCopy !req
692. - like I was a tit—
- Do you mind?Copy !req
693. I'm trying to formulate
an exciting plan of action.Copy !req
694. Then he yanked my balls off.Copy !req
695. That's great.
Your family must be very proud.Copy !req
696. I bet they gave you a party cake
and everything.Copy !req
697. Oh, no. Can't have any cake.
I'm a diabetic.Copy !req
698. But I did get a new set of
pendulous balls grafted on.Copy !req
699. - See?
- Hmm.Copy !req
700. Could this get any more repulsive?Copy !req
701. Oh, sweet buns—
firm, yet squishy.Copy !req
702. Oh, I love 'em.Copy !req
703. Beasto's Hot Wheel's
at 12:00, big daddy!Copy !req
704. I dig the new cycle, Murray.Copy !req
705. But if I didn't know better,
I'd say the design was a bit,Copy !req
706. shall we say, kinky.Copy !req
707. Kinky? Um, uh, no,
it was, uh— I mean—Copy !req
708. I meticulously calculated
the wind velocityCopy !req
709. and that was the most
aerodynamically sound...Copy !req
710. Time to change, Murray.Copy !req
711. If somebody caught me wearing the
same outfit in two different adventures,Copy !req
712. I think it would
simpwy bwake my wittle heart.Copy !req
713. Oh, I understand
how the heart can ache—Copy !req
714. sometimes achy-break.Copy !req
715. Suzi, oh, please—Copy !req
716. Wow, Murray, you're a riot.Copy !req
717. Let me tell you— count yourself
lucky you don't have a heart.Copy !req
718. You never have to feel the rush
of hot blood racing through your veins,Copy !req
719. pumping life into vital organs,Copy !req
720. throbbing, pulsating,Copy !req
721. swelling, pumping.Copy !req
722. - Agh!
- Cool it, hot stuff.Copy !req
723. - Oh, God!
- I'll tell you when we need the big guns.Copy !req
724. Murray, I think we've got company.Copy !req
725. There they are!Copy !req
726. Love is a battlefield.Copy !req
727. Ah, the wisdom of Benatar.Copy !req
728. Witness the carnage, Otto.Copy !req
729. Welcome to
the Hall of Frozen Ex-wives!Copy !req
730. 22 failed marriages.Copy !req
731. Where did I go wrong?Copy !req
732. Take Deirdre.
We met in pre-med.Copy !req
733. Oh, how I adored her.Copy !req
734. Oh, she was beneath you, sir—Copy !req
735. and beneath every man on the
Manchester United Football Club.Copy !req
736. Oh? And what would
you know about it, monkey?Copy !req
737. Anyway, she was boring.Copy !req
738. Ah, my second marriage, to Lilith,
was a debaucherous downward spiral.Copy !req
739. Mmm!Copy !req
740. Ah, Shirley.
She was cute—Copy !req
741. couple of father issues, though.
Hmm.Copy !req
742. Oh, Maria.Copy !req
743. Philosophical differences.
Mmm.Copy !req
744. Impala— she wouldn't
let me get too close to her.Copy !req
745. Sarah—
she ran hot and cold.Copy !req
746. Sex was mechanical!Copy !req
747. Too clingy.Copy !req
748. Too bossy.
Slurped her soup.Copy !req
749. Oh! My dry cleaning.Copy !req
750. Nope.
Wrong.Copy !req
751. No no no no no.Copy !req
752. Nose!Copy !req
753. Ball busters on parade, brother!Copy !req
754. 22 wives, Otto,Copy !req
755. all of them abysmal catastrophes!Copy !req
756. A total waste of time!Copy !req
757. Oh, but how I love the ladies!Copy !req
758. Nothing will stop me now!Copy !req
759. Get me Velvet von Black!Copy !req
760. - What was that?
- I'll tell you what it was,Copy !req
761. if you ask me. But quite honestly,
you've been difficult to talk to.Copy !req
762. Oh, shit.
I think that was a rat.Copy !req
763. Well, then— there are only two things
in this world that I'm afraid of:Copy !req
764. my Uncle Carl in a thong,
and rats!Copy !req
765. Well, I got bad news for you, son.Copy !req
766. And worse news.Copy !req
767. Uh, what's the bad news?Copy !req
768. Hey, Beasto, you want to
play "My Bad Little Pony"?Copy !req
769. Uncle Carl!Copy !req
770. Jesus, Mary, and Seacrest!Copy !req
771. What's the worse news?Copy !req
772. Hey, check this out.Copy !req
773. B- b-b-b-b-b!Copy !req
774. Oh, moist.Copy !req
775. That's a new one.Copy !req
776. People'd pay money to see that.Copy !req
777. I can't take it.
I'm not supposed to die like this.Copy !req
778. I'm a celebrity, damn it!Copy !req
779. Wachowski, get ready for
the wedgie of your life!Copy !req
780. Whoo! Attaboy!Copy !req
781. My pretty Miss X.Copy !req
782. You thought you'd seen
the last of us, didn't you?Copy !req
783. Yeah, well, I was kinda hoping,
you know.Copy !req
784. I did change my outfit and all.
Do you like it?Copy !req
785. It looks like it was painted on.Copy !req
786. - She's much hotter than Eva Braun.
- Come to Papa!Copy !req
787. Now you're cooking with gas!Copy !req
788. Ooh, sexy Mama!Copy !req
789. Silence, Grossberger!Copy !req
790. Very clever, Miss X,Copy !req
791. but you are not familiar
with the Nazi Curse, are you?Copy !req
792. Hmm, which one?
Let me see.Copy !req
793. There's "Fuck Nazis,"Copy !req
794. "God Damn Nazis,"Copy !req
795. "Nazi Assholes,"Copy !req
796. "Nazi Pricks,"Copy !req
797. "Nazi Douche Bags,"Copy !req
798. "Nazi Jerk Offs"--Copy !req
799. the list just goes on and on.Copy !req
800. Ha ha ha.
That's so funny I forgot to laugh.Copy !req
801. No, my pretty.
The Nazi Curse proclaimsCopy !req
802. that the one who vanquishes
the soul of the FuhrerCopy !req
803. will suffer the second coming
of the Third Reich!Copy !req
804. Arise, soldiers of the Third Reich!Copy !req
805. Nobody's laughing now!Copy !req
806. Well, I am, but it's
all about context, you see.Copy !req
807. Correct me if I'm wrong here,Copy !req
808. but wouldn't the second coming
of the Third ReichCopy !req
809. actually be the first coming
of the Fourth Reich?Copy !req
810. What did you say?Copy !req
811. Since this is the new one
after number three,Copy !req
812. wouldn't this technically
be number four, dipshit?Copy !req
813. That's right. You go, girl.
You know what you're talking about.Copy !req
814. Technically she is correct.Copy !req
815. Wilhelm, would you do me a favor?Copy !req
816. - Yeah.
- Shut up!Copy !req
817. Aw, forget it.Copy !req
818. Wait wait, my brothers.
No no no!Copy !req
819. Do over! Do over!Copy !req
820. Arise, soldiers of either the
Fourth or the Third Reich,Copy !req
821. you know, depending on
how you choose to count it.Copy !req
822. Who's your daddy now?
That's right. Me!Copy !req
823. Murray, prepare
for Ass Kicking 101!Copy !req
824. Let's get it done!Copy !req
825. So, Dr. Satan, huh?
What the fuck?Copy !req
826. You a doctor, like a PhD and shit?Copy !req
827. Ah, Velvet, you are the most
delightful and bewitching womanCopy !req
828. I have ever met.Copy !req
829. That's 'cause I'm a fuckin' lady.
Mmm.Copy !req
830. Hmm. I don't want
to seem too forward, Velvet,Copy !req
831. but the truth is I've grown
quite smitten with you.Copy !req
832. Oh, God.Copy !req
833. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
834. You got some nice digs, though.
I ain't gonna front.Copy !req
835. When Tananeesha and
Roqwana come through,Copy !req
836. ooh, it's gonna be on!Copy !req
837. Them bitches gonna be jealous.Copy !req
838. Velvet, I'm going to cut to the chase.Copy !req
839. 50% of everything
you see here is yoursCopy !req
840. if you will be my bride.Copy !req
841. Oh, Satan, you're
the motherfuckin' man!Copy !req
842. And now, my dear—Copy !req
843. And now—Copy !req
844. Otto!Copy !req
845. Where the fuck is the ring?Copy !req
846. How fast do you think I can
saw the finger off a corpse?Copy !req
847. Hmm, so, this is awkward.Copy !req
848. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
849. Be my number 23.Copy !req
850. Da-a-amn!Copy !req
851. Now that's what
I'm talking about!Copy !req
852. That shit's tight!Copy !req
853. Alright, I'm down.Copy !req
854. Let's turn this mother out!Copy !req
855. Whoa-ho-ho-ho!Copy !req
856. We are gonna have
the best Polish wedding ever!Copy !req
857. You gotta understand—
it's not an exercise program,Copy !req
858. it's a lifestyle.Copy !req
859. Look at me. I don't eat carbs.Copy !req
860. I don't eat 'em after 8:00.Copy !req
861. I just don't do it.Copy !req
862. You know what we are,
don't you?Copy !req
863. I'll tell ya—
we're doomed!Copy !req
864. Not so fast, my big-balled friend.Copy !req
865. I didn't come this far to go down
like a Filipino transvestiteCopy !req
866. during Fleet Week.Copy !req
867. Uh, music.Copy !req
868. What the—Copy !req
869. Whoo, that was a lot of fun.Copy !req
870. I haven't kicked ass
like that in a long time.Copy !req
871. Wait, I hear something.Copy !req
872. Is that Bodislav Bodinsky
the polka king?Copy !req
873. Outrageous!Copy !req
874. Let's go!Copy !req
875. Oh, sure, use a man's balls
to beat the hell out of somethingCopy !req
876. and then don't wait for him!Copy !req
877. Kraut bogey, 5:00!Copy !req
878. When I woke up this morning
I was in such a good mood.Copy !req
879. Mind if I borrow these
for a moment?Copy !req
880. Time to take over, big boy.Copy !req
881. I'm going in.Copy !req
882. Going in?
Fucking awesome!Copy !req
883. Damn iit, Otto, this is my special day
and those two are going to ruin it!Copy !req
884. Now, hold still.Copy !req
885. I don't think you're
taking this problem seriously.Copy !req
886. Not taking it seriously?Copy !req
887. Whose idea was it for the giant
cascading waterfall of shrimp, hmm?Copy !req
888. You.Copy !req
889. And who was going
to surprise youCopy !req
890. with a life-size ice sculptureCopy !req
891. of His Supreme Evilness
Dr. Satan in all his glory?Copy !req
892. - You didn't.
- I did.Copy !req
893. Well, that's fine and dandy,Copy !req
894. but did you ever stop
for one secondCopy !req
895. and think that if you weren't
acting like a giant Froot LoopCopy !req
896. parading around
knee-deep in doilies,Copy !req
897. then you would have noticed
that there were two superheroesCopy !req
898. about to throw a
goddamn monkey wrenchCopy !req
899. in my master plan,
you stupid monkey!Copy !req
900. Fuck you and your shrimp boat.Copy !req
901. I'm doing this my way.Copy !req
902. Oh! I meant to do that.Copy !req
903. Mark my words, Steven.Copy !req
904. They're all gonna laugh at you.
Oh!Copy !req
905. Don't all try and crowd in
on this one.Copy !req
906. There'll be another shuttle
along shortly.Copy !req
907. Hmm. Perfect.Copy !req
908. There's enough pigs-in-a-blanket
for everyone.Copy !req
909. - Hi.
- Oh!Copy !req
910. So, are you with the bride
or the boobs— the groom?Copy !req
911. I'm with the groom, honeycakes.Copy !req
912. Slut!Copy !req
913. Please, Mildred,
don't make a scene.Copy !req
914. She seems nice.Copy !req
915. So, Latrizza, I'm just saying,Copy !req
916. he's a crazy, fugly sonofabitch,Copy !req
917. but I'm gonna get all that money,
you know what I'm saying? Half!Copy !req
918. Half, bitch, you
understand that shit? Half!Copy !req
919. Darling, are you almost ready?
The guests are arriving.Copy !req
920. Oh, I know you ain't talking to me.Copy !req
921. Do I look motherfucking ready?Copy !req
922. Yeah, you needs to
wait your ass outside. Shit!Copy !req
923. No, I just thought that- that—Copy !req
924. Thought what?Copy !req
925. - Um—
- What?Copy !req
926. - Uh, um—
- What?Copy !req
927. Yo, spit that motherfucking shit
out or get out.Copy !req
928. Please, sweetie pants,Copy !req
929. your tone is distressing!Copy !req
930. Special day.
Shrimp boat.Copy !req
931. I'll be ready when I'm goddamn ready.Copy !req
932. Yo, is this the way you gonna be,Copy !req
933. acting like a fool and shit?Copy !req
934. Act a fool?Copy !req
935. No, cupcake.Copy !req
936. I'm gonna act like this!Copy !req
937. Is there something
you'd like to say, Otto?Copy !req
938. I'll save my comments for later, sir.Copy !req
939. Then get this frozen
bitch to the altar!Copy !req
940. Oh my God,
these pierogies taste like shit!Copy !req
941. Here, you try them.Copy !req
942. Time to blend in and mingle.Copy !req
943. Holy mother jugs!
Look at those ass flaps!Copy !req
944. Hey there, hot pants.
Let's get nude.Copy !req
945. Take a picture.
It'll last longer.Copy !req
946. Whoa! Hey, Suzi.Copy !req
947. Creepy. Incest.Copy !req
948. Places, people. Places, everyone!Copy !req
949. The wedding
is about to begin!Copy !req
950. All right, hotshot.
Why am I at a wedding?Copy !req
951. Admit it, this was always
about P-U-S-S-Y, huh?Copy !req
952. - Wasn't it?
- Well, no!Copy !req
953. No. I mean, it was,
it was— agh!Copy !req
954. Then it wasn't.
It might be again, but—Copy !req
955. Agh! listen, listen!Copy !req
956. Dr. Satan is Steve Wachowski,Copy !req
957. and if he marries this broad
we're all toast.Copy !req
958. Steve Wachowski? Why does
that name make my panties cringe?Copy !req
959. You know, I mean
if I wore panties.Copy !req
960. Does the phrase, "Eat me, I'm
your love muffin" ring any bells?Copy !req
961. I think I just threw up
in my mouth a little.Copy !req
962. This demented maniac
must be stopped!Copy !req
963. Uh, what do we do?Copy !req
964. Whoa!Copy !req
965. Oh!Copy !req
966. Hey, baby, show me your tits.Copy !req
967. Madam, please keep your
meat pillows contained.Copy !req
968. You ain't the boss of me.Copy !req
969. Nice!Copy !req
970. All right, they're out.Copy !req
971. Dearly beloved,
we are gathered here todayCopy !req
972. to join these two begotten
souls in unholy matrimony.Copy !req
973. Some tears would be nice.Copy !req
974. Anyway, here we will
marry Dr. Wachowski—Copy !req
975. I mean Satan—Copy !req
976. - and his big-titted...
- Excuse me, bro,Copy !req
977. don't you think we should be out
kicking some Satanic ass right now?Copy !req
978. I'm telling you, this plan is foolproof.Copy !req
979. All I've got to do is pull this rope
before they get to the "I do's."Copy !req
980. Hey, come on, have I ever
let you down before?Copy !req
981. Well, there was that one time
when you left me to fly soloCopy !req
982. against the dreaded man-eating
alligator men of Venus.Copy !req
983. Ring a bell?Copy !req
984. Ow! I told you, I missed my flight.Copy !req
985. They overbooked first class.
I refuse to fly coach.Copy !req
986. You know I can't have
my public see me like that.Copy !req
987. Other than that my record
is clean as a whistle.Copy !req
988. If there is anyone among you
that believesCopy !req
989. this wedding should not
take place,Copy !req
990. speak now or forever
hold your peace.Copy !req
991. Then there was the time
you oversleptCopy !req
992. and missed the massacre
of the vampire women.Copy !req
993. Does that one ring a bell?
Ding dong?Copy !req
994. Clearly not my fault.Copy !req
995. I set that clock to AM.Copy !req
996. Do you, Velvet von Black,Copy !req
997. take, um, this well-read
horror of a manCopy !req
998. to be your
frightening husband?Copy !req
999. Do I look stupid?
I mean, you know I do!Copy !req
1000. I love him!Copy !req
1001. Dr. Satan, do you take Velvet von BlackCopy !req
1002. as your unlawfully wedded whore—Copy !req
1003. I mean wife?Copy !req
1004. I do!Copy !req
1005. - Wait. Did you hear something?
- Pull it!Copy !req
1006. I now pronounce you
man and wife.Copy !req
1007. Look out!Copy !req
1008. Oh, yeah. Nice play, Shakespeare.Copy !req
1009. Uh, yeah.Copy !req
1010. Not exactly what I had in mind.Copy !req
1011. Okey-dokey, artichokey.Copy !req
1012. Time to do this my way!
Hah!Copy !req
1013. Hmm?Copy !req
1014. Cowa-ya—Copy !req
1015. You're too late!Copy !req
1016. Satan boombaye!
Satan boombaye!Copy !req
1017. Wake up, Beasto!
You're earth's only hope!Copy !req
1018. Caramels are chewy.Copy !req
1019. Now my dream has come true!Copy !req
1020. Steve Wachowski, vice-president
of the chess club,Copy !req
1021. and Suzi X, homecoming queen
together at last!Copy !req
1022. Hey, loosen up, man.
You're crushing my titties!Copy !req
1023. Oh, no he didn't!
I'm gonna get you, ho!Copy !req
1024. Holy mother of God!Copy !req
1025. Santa Claus is dead.Copy !req
1026. - Evil wins.
- Yeah!Copy !req
1027. Is— stop that back there!Copy !req
1028. Is there anyone
who can save us now?Copy !req
1029. There they are.
I see them.Copy !req
1030. What?
Give me those.Copy !req
1031. Ow!Copy !req
1032. That two-timing playa wannabe
pimp-ass son of a bitch!Copy !req
1033. I'm gonna beat his dumb red ass.Copy !req
1034. This is nice, isn't it?Copy !req
1035. Just the two of us reminiscing
about the good old days.Copy !req
1036. Oh, it's like we're back in homeroom
all over again!Copy !req
1037. Eww! Hands off, Dr. Perv!Copy !req
1038. Say, here's a real blast
from your past.Copy !req
1039. Put the ho down!Copy !req
1040. I said back away
from that stank-ass ho!Copy !req
1041. What? Who you calling
a stank-ass ho?Copy !req
1042. Well, it must be you, bitch.Copy !req
1043. You're the only stank-ass
brokedown ho I see.Copy !req
1044. Excuse me, Dr. Satan.Copy !req
1045. Would you mind putting me down
for a moment, please?Copy !req
1046. I really don't think that that's—Copy !req
1047. - Sweet baby mother!
- I said put me down!Copy !req
1048. Yes, dear.Copy !req
1049. Yo, what was that, be-atch?Copy !req
1050. Do I stutter?Copy !req
1051. All right!
Cat fight!Copy !req
1052. Is it wrong this is turning me on?Copy !req
1053. Ooh, you're gonna get it!Copy !req
1054. Say my name, bitch!
Feel that shit, Mamita!Copy !req
1055. Takenzie her top offen!
Show us her boobies!Copy !req
1056. Who's the ho now, bitch?Copy !req
1057. And the new Mrs. Satan by T.K.O.
in the first round,Copy !req
1058. Suzi X!Copy !req
1059. You gonna leave
Velvet von Black?Copy !req
1060. Fuck you all!
I got a pre-nup!Copy !req
1061. Half!Copy !req
1062. Null and void.Copy !req
1063. Oh, Doctor, you
don't look so good.Copy !req
1064. I think you got a little something
something going on upstairs.Copy !req
1065. What the hell?Copy !req
1066. - According to the handbook—
- Handbook?Copy !req
1067. Really? Is that the best that you—
and by you I mean the writers—Copy !req
1068. could come up with?
Hey, Shakespeare,Copy !req
1069. the strike's over.
Now get back to work.Copy !req
1070. All right, let's get this over with.Copy !req
1071. You had that book and
you never said a thing?Copy !req
1072. You idiot!Copy !req
1073. Give me that!Copy !req
1074. "Dr. Satan will shrink
back to normal sizeCopy !req
1075. if he squashes his unholy bride
with the heel of his cloven hoofCopy !req
1076. - under a crescent moon...
- Wazzup?Copy !req
1077. as an albino Barry Manilow lookalike
warbles through "Copacabana"Copy !req
1078. under a shower of rainbow sparklesCopy !req
1079. while a disgustingly cute kitten
screams a Moroccan death chant.Copy !req
1080. Great. Now here are we gonna
find a kitten like that?Copy !req
1081. Hey, buddy, I don't want to be rude,Copy !req
1082. but I was, like, staring at your crotch,Copy !req
1083. and it seems like
your package is purring.Copy !req
1084. Hey-oh!Copy !req
1085. Come on, get me
the fuck out of here!Copy !req
1086. I stand corrected.Copy !req
1087. Ow ow ow ow ow ow!Copy !req
1088. I got you, Suzi!Copy !req
1089. Thanks, my big, metal
manboy machine!Copy !req
1090. That's me, Murray.
Murray loves Suzi.Copy !req
1091. So I'm a little smaller. So what?Copy !req
1092. I know how this
high school thing works.Copy !req
1093. I've got the homecoming queenCopy !req
1094. and now it's time to put
the school bully in his place!Copy !req
1095. Medic.Copy !req
1096. Are we done now?Copy !req
1097. Yeah, I think so.Copy !req
1098. Oh, my blueberries!Copy !req
1099. And now a little smashing
of the old fuckface.Copy !req
1100. Eat this, love muffin.Copy !req
1101. Sir, might I suggest a bit
of the old Brixton 9000?Copy !req
1102. Oh!Copy !req
1103. Yeah!Copy !req
1104. What the hell you
lookin' at, bitch?Copy !req
1105. Eh, nada, mein homey.Copy !req
1106. Hey, that's Spanish!Copy !req
1107. Okay, I think what we
should do is, um—Copy !req
1108. Run!Copy !req
1109. Come on, Wilhelm, ride
it like you stole it!Copy !req
1110. Oi—
temporary setback.Copy !req
1111. Nothing a little ointment
won't fix.Copy !req
1112. Huh?Copy !req
1113. Oh, sweet heaven.Copy !req
1114. Well, I did it again.Copy !req
1115. Saving the world is like
riding a bicycle.Copy !req
1116. Oh, I know where this is going.Copy !req
1117. You really never forget
how it's done.Copy !req
1118. Come on, Murray,
let's go.Copy !req
1119. Some say it's my
superior strength.Copy !req
1120. Did you see how I—Copy !req
1121. Oh, well.Copy !req
1122. Ladies, anyone up for someCopy !req
1123. hot wings?Copy !req
1124. Welcome back to
"The Morris Green Show."Copy !req
1125. Ladies and gentlemen,
my next guest—Copy !req
1126. oh, he's a big favorite
of my wife Dodi.Copy !req
1127. She just loves to see two men
entwined in a sweaty embrace.Copy !req
1128. She also loves it when it's
in the wrestling ring.Copy !req
1129. Ladies and gentlemen,
Mr. Superbeasto.Copy !req
1130. Hello! Good to see you!Copy !req
1131. It's so great to have you here.
How do you do it?Copy !req
1132. Well, look, I don't want
to dwell on the factCopy !req
1133. that I saved the planet again.Copy !req
1134. I mean, it's just what I do.Copy !req
1135. But you do have a new rock 'n' roll
compact disc, I understand.Copy !req
1136. Aw, where did you get that?Copy !req
1137. Well, your publicist sent it over.Copy !req
1138. It's just a little project
I put togetherCopy !req
1139. with a certain group known as—Copy !req
1140. Loverboy!Copy !req
1141. Cool your jets, Mr. Roboto.Copy !req
1142. I've seen it all before.Copy !req
1143. I heard somebody's been
a naughty little mechanical boyCopy !req
1144. and needs some serious discipline.Copy !req
1145. Oh my God!Copy !req
1146. I see someone's
in the mood for love!Copy !req
1147. Functions not functioning!Copy !req
1148. Now, let's try out those
new special modifications.Copy !req
1149. Yes, Mistress Suzi,
whatever you say.Copy !req
1150. Fasten your seatbelt, Murray.Copy !req
1151. It's gonna be a bumpy night!Copy !req
1152. - Yeah, baby! Whoo!
- Oh boy!Copy !req
1153. - Oh, man!
- Yeah, baby!Copy !req
1154. - Never stop! Never never!
- Baby, faster!Copy !req
1155. Oh, God, give me strength.Copy !req
1156. Why do you subject me
to this meaningless drivelCopy !req
1157. night after night?Copy !req
1158. At least put on BBC 1.Copy !req
1159. There's a riveting history
of Lord Byron's teacup collection—Copy !req
1160. Quick talking like a book, monkey.
You ain't here to talk.Copy !req
1161. Put your filthy paws on me,
you damn dirty ape!Copy !req
1162. Aagh! What the fuck?Copy !req
1163. Don't break a bitch!Copy !req
1164. Hey, it's you again.Copy !req
1165. We gotta stop
meeting like this.Copy !req
1166. Did you like the movie?
My part was pretty good.Copy !req
1167. I could have done without
all the potty humor.Copy !req
1168. Instead of a punchline,
they just flash some titties.Copy !req
1169. Not that I'm complaining.Copy !req
1170. I haven't seen a set
of whoppers like thatCopy !req
1171. since Ava Gardner.
What a rack!Copy !req
1172. Okey-dokey, smokey,
I guess that's it.Copy !req
1173. You really should go now.
Yeah.Copy !req
1174. No no no.
You should really go now.Copy !req
1175. Okay. All right,
you asked for it.Copy !req
1176. Howdy, folks!
My name's Betty Sue LouCopy !req
1177. and it's my great pleasure to
introduce tonight's special guests.Copy !req
1178. Straight from their two-night stand
at the Barn Door...Copy !req
1179. Exit 7 off Route 91 in Ruggsville—Copy !req
1180. all-you-can-eat fish popper Mondays—
kids love their poppers—Copy !req
1181. here they are, the one and onlyCopy !req
1182. Banjo and Sullivan!
Yee-ha!Copy !req
1183. Oh, fuck me! Just get
me out of here!Copy !req
1184. All right, Pops, I think it's about time
I end this fiasco of a picture show.Copy !req
1185. Say goodnight, Gracie.Copy !req
1186. Come on, Mama, let's boogie.Copy !req
1187. Oh dear, that's going to leave a mark.Copy !req
1188. Make room for Daddy!Copy !req
1189. Cow-a-yah!Copy !req
1190. Oh, hello, Officer.
Don't pull me over now.Copy !req
1191. Nice tools.Copy !req
1192. - Hah.
- Where's your casino?Copy !req
1193. Take a look at this guy.Copy !req
1194. Those chaps should be illegal.Copy !req
1195. Hey, ain't this great,Copy !req
1196. a bunch of guys can get together
and dance without being all gay?Copy !req
1197. Oh! Hey, easy, pal.
I'm not being no fucking cowboy.Copy !req
1198. Bitch.Copy !req