The Haunted Mansion (2003)

1. Welcome, foolish mortals.

2. It's love, isn't it?

3. Sometimes you walk into a house, take one look around, and you know.

4. And you say, "This is for me."

5. I think it's perfect. It's just what we've been looking for.

6. - There aren't enough plugs. - Wait, Mr. Coleman.

7. That place I showed you on Sycamore Street was loaded with plugs.

8. That's right. There were plenty.

9. The steps were too high. When we're old, we could trip.

10. Every house we look at, you find something to pick at.

11. I just know what I like.

12. Would you like a divorce? 'Cause I'll bring it.

13. Hey, no need for that.

14. I'm gonna find this house for you.

15. I'm committed to finding your perfect house.

16. I don't care how long it takes. Because at Evers and Evers,

17. we want you to be happy forevers and evers.

18. Let me take this call.

19. So sorry. Evers and Evers Real Estate. Jim Evers.

20. Hey, honey, how's it going? Do they like the house?

21. Yes, this house is still available.

22. I knew it. I told you they were lookie-loos.

23. Another interested party. Excuse me.

24. I'm on my way home to get ready for dinner.

25. - I'm looking forward to tonight. - Are you pre-approved?

26. Yeah. The reservation's at 7:00, so don't be late.

27. 7:00's perfect.

28. Let's get together at 7:00 and go over your offer.

29. - OK, honey, see you later. - You see what you did?

30. We love the house.

31. - We love it. - Well, then, Mrs. Coleman,

32. taking that into consideration, there's only one thing left to do.

33. Let's sign some papers.

34. - Hey, Lorraine and Gary. - Hi.

35. Just like I promised, here's the offer, signed, sealed and delivered.

36. Thank you so much. We are so grateful.

37. This is a cause for celebration. Let us buy you a drink.

38. No, I can't. My wife's waiting for me.

39. This is a big deal. We have to celebrate.

40. - I really can't. - We insist.

41. Please.

42. OK, one quick drink.

43. Sir, can I have a ginger ale, please?

44. No, that's not a drink. Sammy, three Volcanoes.

45. - No Volcanoes. - Incredibly smooth.

46. We love it here. We've been coming here for years.

47. - It's like Hawaii. - Yes.

48. - We spent our honeymoon there. - It was fantastic. You been?

49. - Never. - Promise me you'll go.

50. - Promise. - I'll go if you sign,

51. but I got to get going now.

52. It's my anniversary tonight. I'm trying to get home.

53. Your anniversary? Happy anniversary!

54. Thank you. Sign the thing here.

55. Happy anniversary Happy anniversary

56. Happy anniversary Happy anniversary

57. - Happy, happy, happy... - Hey, sign this!

58. - OK, Jim. - Sorry about that.

59. Pleasure doing business with you. Aloha. OK? Bye-bye.

60. Excuse me. Did I hear you correctly?

61. - Did you just sell their house? - I sure did.

62. 'Cause we're looking to buy.

63. Honey, forgive me.

64. I'm Jim Evers of Evers and Evers Real Estate.

65. Tell me about your dream house.

66. Hi, Sara, my name's Teddy. Your husband told me to tell you he loves you,

67. but sometimes he loses track of the time. I'm sorry I'm late.

68. Happy anniversary!

69. Happy anniversary.

70. Yes.

71. Look at what he brought you.

72. Look at that. Isn't that pretty?

73. You have a wonderful husband that thinks about you like that on your anniversary.

74. - You're so fortunate. - It's beautiful.

75. It's actually Teddy's fault I'm late. He had a little accident in the back seat.

76. Cotton all over the place, but I cleaned it up.

77. It's OK. I forgive Teddy.

78. Come on, Sara. Don't be like that.

79. I'm on a roll here. We sold seven houses this month.

80. What about the three soccer games, two birthdays and barbecue you missed?

81. Did I miss that much stuff this month?

82. OK, we're gonna take off this weekend.

83. - What? - Take off for the weekend.

84. We'll go to the lake like last year.

85. Just us and the kids. How's that sound?

86. Can we close on this?

87. Yes. We can close on this. How about this?

88. Close on that. Let me tell the kids. All right!

89. Megan and Michael! Big family adventure!

90. Hey, Michael Jordan Evers!

91. - Hey... - Dad, there's a...

92. - What is it? - There's a spider in my room!

93. - A what? - A spider on the window.

94. - Why don't you kill it, man? - That's a big spider!

95. It's just a spider. How big can it be?

96. What is this? Where's the spider at?

97. You're acting like it's Mothra. It's just a spider.

98. You're making a big deal out of nothing.

99. You're ten, and it's time I teach you how to kill a spider the right way.

100. The most efficient way to crush a spider.

101. Get a good magazine. Doesn't matter what you use.

102. Some people use Life or Time or News...

103. This is my Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. What are you doing with it?

104. - I don't know. - Yeah, right.

105. If you can look at this, you should have enough courage to kill a spider.

106. Roll this up tight. Get a good grip.

107. Get a bead on the spider. Gonna side swing.

108. That's where you can get good action.

109. Come across like that so you really crush it.

110. You come across this way so you get his whole escape route.

111. You take it and you whack it. Whack the spider.

112. I don't want to whack it.

113. You got to whack the spider, Mike.

114. I'm afraid of spiders. I can't whack it.

115. Let me explain something to you.

116. All your life, you'll be facing spiders. OK?

117. I am?

118. What I'm trying to say is don't be afraid of anything.

119. People use your fear against you. I'm not scared of anything.

120. I'm your dad, you're my son. Whack that spider.

121. I can't.

122. You can do it. Whack the spider.

123. - I don't want to whack it. - Yes, you can.

124. - Kill the spider. - I can't.

125. Dad, I can't crush it.

126. - Hey. - There. Happy?

127. No, Megan. I was trying to make a point to your brother

128. about how it's important to whack your own spiders.

129. Whatever.

130. - Past the Old Miller Road. - OK, great.

131. It is an old home, Ms. Evers,

132. and my employer is anxious to move on.

133. Would it be possible for you to come alone

134. to discuss the situation?

135. My husband and I work as a team.

136. The master usually does not take visitors.

137. However, from your photograph,

138. he thought you to have a trustworthy face.

139. About your husband, he felt differently.

140. You got our flyer.

141. The master had wished to meet you tomorrow evening.

142. I'm sorry, but tomorrow I've got plans that can't be broken.

143. - Excuse me a second. - Who's that?

144. Just someone calling about repping a house.

145. What's the address? Where is it?

146. Sara! Do you know where this place is?

147. All the places up here are multimillion-dollar mansions.

148. What about our big family adventure?

149. - It's just a little detour. - How long is it gonna take?

150. No more than 20 minutes. You should be excited.

151. You get to see Mommy and Daddy in real estate action.

152. Who's calling me?

153. Jim Evers, Evers and Evers Real Estate.

154. Stan, how you doing? What's the latest?

155. Really? The Selmar property? Tomorrow?

156. I'm kind of out of town right now.

157. But listen. Maybe I could come back early.

158. No, I can't come back early.

159. Maybe we should take care of this on Monday. All right? Monday?

160. Monday sounds fantastic. OK, I'll talk to you on Monday.

161. Gonna talk on Monday.

162. Are we still in America?

163. Here it is, right here. OK? All right?

164. That's a whole lot of gate.

165. They must have a big possum problem down here.

166. That's some big possum.

167. - Didn't they know we were coming? - Of course.

168. Maybe there's a call box or something.

169. Hello?

170. Hello? The Evers are here!

171. Yes, we're here now!

172. Nobody's answering.

173. I gotta get out in the dirt with my brand-new shoes on.

174. Wow.

175. How we gonna get in?

176. Give me a boost. I'll climb over and go around back.

177. - Probably old. We'll surprise them. - You'll probably kill 'em.

178. Let's just go. It's getting late.

179. You give up too easy. You gotta be more patient.

180. The Evers way is to be patient...

181. All right. We're in business.

182. Let's go.

183. Let's do this.

184. Bob Vila would have a field day with this place.

185. Megan, don't slam the door like that. It's very sensitive.

186. It's a car, Dad.

187. It's not just a car.

188. It's a very delicate piece of machinery.

189. She didn't mean what she just said. She didn't mean that.

190. Let's see what's around back.

191. - I'm getting hungry. - Me, too.

192. Don't worry. We'll be 20 minutes, tops.

193. When we get to the lake, can I go to that pizza shop

194. where I ate that whole pizza, and when we got to the cabin, I threw up,

195. and you saw pepperoni chunks in it?

196. - Can we go there? - If we can avoid a repeat performance.

197. Wow. That's something you don't see every day.

198. Oh, my God.

199. Dead people?

200. Hey, honey, you know they have dead people in the backyard.

201. Some people have pools, some people have private cemeteries. It happens.

202. You're gonna sell a house with this?

203. This historical, sprawling manor with spacious grounds? Yes.

204. That's good. Put that on the listing.

205. - And leave out the dead people? - Stick to the bright side.

206. Oh, no. I got my good suit on.

207. - You think it'll stop? - I hope it's not raining at the lake.

208. When you're at work with Mommy and Daddy, you're on your best behavior.

209. Look at the size of these knockers.

210. Ever seen anything like that before?

211. Hello! Evers Real Estate!

212. Evers Real Estate.

213. Hello?

214. Is anybody home?

215. Hello.

216. We're the Evers from Evers and Evers Real Estate.

217. Hi!

218. Have you ever seen anything like this?

219. Never. Sara, this puts us in a whole new league.

220. Smells like Grandma's house.

221. Worse. Smells like Grandma.

222. It's just dusty. Get a cleaning crew to shine it up,

223. this place will be sparkling from top to bottom.

224. Mom, this place has spiders.

225. Sara Evers?

226. Yes. I'm Sara.

227. My name is Ramsley.

228. Hello, Ramsley. I'm Jim Evers of Evers and Evers Real Estate.

229. At your service.

230. We were not expecting...

231. others.

232. Yes, we were on our way out of town.

233. Then when we realized the enormity and complexity of your unique estate,

234. we wanted to commit the full resources of Evers and Evers,

235. because we want you to be happy forevers and evers.

236. Please accept this waterproof calendar as a token of our appreciation.

237. Very well. We shall have to place other settings.

238. What are the other settings for?

239. Master Gracey wishes to discuss his affairs over dinner.

240. I'm afraid we have plans.

241. - Honey, we can't stay for dinner. - We mustn't be rude, darling.

242. - What about our family adventure? - Yeah, Dad.

243. We'll just have some soup and get going. OK?

244. Wow.

245. Wow.

246. Nice. Very nice. Good job.

247. Megan, how'd you like to eat like this every day?

248. The master will be with you shortly.

249. Carry on.

250. I said, "Carry on," and he walks off.

251. Have you ever seen a fireplace this amazing? Incredible.

252. We could have one heck of a wienie roast in that thing.

253. Seriously. Look at this detail. I've never seen anything like this.

254. Haven't you?

255. My grandfather spared no expense when he built this mansion.

256. Your grandfather had good taste in tchotchkes.

257. Jim Evers, Evers and Evers Real Estate. Charmed to make your acquaintance.

258. Edward. Edward Gracey.

259. This is my wife. Sara, you want to come meet Mr. Gracey?

260. Very nice to meet you, Mr. Gracey.

261. And this is our daughter, Megan, and our son, Michael.

262. You have very beautiful children, Ms. Evers.

263. I kicked in some chromosomes, too.

264. Children? Madame?

265. Oh, nice. All right. OK.

266. Thank you.

267. The master was very pleased

268. when he heard you could come on such short notice.

269. Normally, we would not have called you here so abruptly,

270. but we had no other choice.

271. You got termites or something? Big house like this must have a lot of termites.

272. No, but lately there have been more...

273. disturbances.

274. What do you think of the house, Ms. Evers?

275. I think it's absolutely incredible.

276. The Italian influence, the Renaissance style of the molding.

277. The attention to detail is stunning.

278. You never see houses like this. Or, at least, I don't.

279. Great care and love went into the building of this mansion.

280. This house is my inheritance, my birthright.

281. But lately it's become too much to bear.

282. Tell me, Mr. Evers.

283. Do you believe in ghosts?

284. Ghosts?

285. Sure, I believe in ghosts.

286. You don't want to put that information on the listing.

287. Talk about how many bathrooms you have.

288. People love bathrooms. Play up the toilet angle.

289. Leave out ghosts for now. I think that'd be best.

290. The storm has swollen the river.

291. How's that?

292. The storm has flooded the road.

293. I'm afraid there will be no leaving the mansion tonight.

294. What?

295. Of course, you are all more than welcome

296. to spend the night here.

297. No, I really don't think we should. We've got plans.

298. I'm afraid there's no other way.

299. Ramsley will show you to your rooms.

300. I believe the children will be comfortable in this room.

301. - Yeah, real homey. - You'll be fine.

302. When you flush the toilet, see how quickly it refills.

303. Night, Dad.

304. Goodnight.

305. I hope you and the madame will find this room to your liking.

306. Yeah, it's great. It'll be like spending the night in a fine hotel.

307. Will there be anything else that you require, sir?

308. - You gonna get us some chocolates? - Pardon?

309. The chocolates they put on hotel pillows.

310. Sometimes they have chocolates on the pillow.

311. They have...

312. What's the problem?

313. In the first place, we weren't supposed to be here.

314. - We were supposed to be at the lake. - Am I supposed to control the weather?

315. That's not the point. You couldn't resist. You had to come.

316. This is a big opportunity for all of us.

317. Not for us. For you.

318. The only thing you seem to care about is work.

319. But when I work hard, it doesn't matter

320. as long as I'm bringing you home expensive gifts, right?

321. What are you... Sara.

322. Sara, I didn't mean to say that. OK?

323. Come on, stop. Sara?

324. I'm sorry about that, honey. Open up, please.

325. You scared me.

326. - Pardon the intrusion, sir. - Yes?

327. The master was wondering if he might have a word with you in the library?

328. A word? Yeah, I'd love to have a word with him.

329. - Let's go talk some turkey. - Yes. Turkey.

330. - Very good, sir. - Yeah.

331. If you will kindly follow me.

332. Of course. Sara, I'm gonna have a word with Mr. Gracey.

333. I'll be back in a minute.

334. You ever been to a tanning salon? I've got a friend who's got a place.

335. You can get a smooth tan, do something about that ashy white look.

336. Get a little bronze thing happening. The ladies will love it.

337. Yes, sounds wonderful.

338. Would you care for a drink, sir, while you're waiting?

339. Yeah, don't mind if I do. Thank you, Ramsley.

340. Oh, wow.

341. Now, that's class. I need to do that over at my place.

342. Get a big picture of myself for the living room wall.

343. Adds a touch of elegance to the room.

344. Yes, sir.

345. Very elegant.

346. Thank you so much, Ramsley.

347. - So how long you been a butler? - A long time.

348. What are the most important qualifications,

349. in case I need to do some interviewing?

350. Attending to every detail.

351. Understanding priorities.

352. And above all, knowing one's place.

353. What's your boss like to do?

354. What floats his boat?

355. The master likes a great many things.

356. Art, literature, beauty.

357. And all that stuff about ghosts.

358. Did he get a bad clam in his jambalaya one night?

359. You don't believe in ghosts, sir?

360. Absolutely not.

361. The way I see it, you only go around the track once.

362. So you do it full out, all the way around.

363. Mr. Evers, may I confide in you?

364. Please do.

365. The master is not well.

366. He must leave this house, Mr. Evers. He must move on.

367. It is of the gravest importance, I assure you.

368. Or I fear...

369. the very worst.

370. I can't believe this. Still no reception.

371. We had to take that little detour.

372. "20 minutes, tops." Yeah, right.

373. Think it's gonna stop raining soon?

374. How should I know? I'm not the weatherman.

375. Stogies.

376. Not bad. Better hold on to that.

377. Wonderful. Must be nice.

378. Must be real nice. I tell you.

379. Hello, good man. Ramsley, fix the gentleman a drink.

380. Nigel, I recently returned from the continent,

381. where I found the most interesting book. It was called Raising the Dead...

382. Oh, craps.

383. I hope that doesn't stain.

384. Wow.

385. Interesting.

386. I wonder where this leads to.

387. Hey, open this back up!

388. Open up! Ramsley!

389. Ramsley! Push back the head!

390. Can somebody push the head back?

391. Megan!

392. What do you think it is?

393. It's a ghost ball.

394. I think it wants us to follow it.

395. I think you're crazy.

396. It does. It wants us to follow it.

397. Hey, Megan, wait up.

398. Where's that scary albino when you need him?

399. Hello.

400. Have you seen my husband?

401. Excuse me.

402. Wait. Wait.

403. - Oh, Ramsley. It's you. - May I help you?

404. Yes, I was just looking for my husband.

405. Indeed.

406. I left him in the library.

407. Right through there.

408. Honey, it's late. Let's not fight anymore. Come to bed?

409. I'm... sorry.

410. - I thought you were my husband. - Can I help you with that?

411. Ramsley hates it when I leave things lying about.

412. Yes, he seems a bit proper.

413. He strikes most people that way.

414. Once you get to know him, you'll find that's not the case.

415. He's really...

416. He's really very sweet.

417. Thank you.

418. He's been like a father to me.

419. Mr. Gracey? May I ask you something?

420. Yes, of course. Anything.

421. This house, it's been in your family for generations.

422. It's your home.

423. Why do you want to sell it?

424. These walls are filled...

425. with so many memories.

426. Some of them... painful.

427. I think for you to understand, I really must show you.

428. It's all right.

429. There's nothing to be afraid of.

430. Although it might be a bit worn and faded from its original grandeur,

431. this house was once filled with so many things.

432. So much life.

433. Grand parties, dancing, laughter,

434. and above all, hope.

435. Being a Gracey meant that you were denied nothing.

436. - The world was yours. - What happened here, Mr. Gracey?

437. - She did. - Who?

438. Elizabeth.

439. Hers is the story that haunts these walls.

440. - Come on. - Megan, wait.

441. Don't know the last time that's been inspected.

442. Would you relax? Where's your sense of adventure?

443. This is against all my better judgment.

444. Hi!

445. Is anyone home?

446. This must be termites.

447. Some big ass termites, that's all.

448. Hello?

449. Megan!

450. Mom.

451. What are you doing? You're not supposed to be here.

452. This is unspeakable! You have to leave!

453. Who is that?

454. None of your business. Get out of here.

455. - Way past your bedtime. - Her name was Elizabeth!

456. Are you kids hungry? Anybody want a cookie?

457. Cookies?

458. Don't offer them cookies! They're trespassers!

459. Trespassers don't get cookies! This is none of their concern.

460. It is their concern. They're involved!

461. Hide. Hide!

462. The children are not in their room. Have you seen them?

463. Children? What children?

464. What children?

465. Her children.

466. The children she wasn't supposed to bring,

467. along with that brainless husband of hers.

468. Thank you.

469. If I had to listen to another word from that insufferable fool,

470. I think I would've burst.

471. Of course, sir. What a fool!

472. Did I not tell her to come alone?

473. Is it too much to ask for a little cooperation,

474. - a little order? - Of course not, sir.

475. If you find the children,

476. bring them to me.

477. Certainly, sir.

478. The final arrangements have been made.

479. Nothing further will interfere with the master's plan.

480. Thank God I heard your voice. I'm lost. I don't know how to get out of here.

481. I'm sorry if I sound a little frazzled, but I had a freak show back there.

482. I was supposed to meet with Mr. Gracey, but I got stuck in the wall.

483. Goblins and ghoulies from last Halloween,

484. awaken the spirits with your tambourine.

485. OK, I hear you, but I don't see you. Where are you?

486. I am Madame Leota, seer of all.

487. Voice to the spirits. Whom do you seek?

488. - What are you doing? Let me out! - Silence! Whom do you seek?

489. - I am seeking a way out. - Then you must look within.

490. - I don't want to. Are you deaf? - There is great evil in this house.

491. A devil's curse. It seeks to destroy you.

492. Why? I'm just here to sell the house, OK?

493. Dark spirits from the grave, come forth.

494. Lift us from the black,

495. and show us, show us the way back.

496. Dark spirits? Don't you make no dark spirits come out.

497. Lift us, lift us up to the light,

498. and lead us through this stormy night.

499. Hey, I'd really like to stay on the ground.

500. Can I stay on the ground, please?

501. Evil and darkness have fallen this night,

502. but now to survive, you must gain new sight.

503. - I must first gain new underwear. - Only the light could lead the way.

504. Follow it and find your way home.

505. There's no place like home. There's no place like home.

506. Go, Mr. Evers! Your family is at stake.

507. Your very life is at stake. Break the curse!

508. There is no escape for you unless you lift the spell.

509. Go. Save yourself!

510. Save your family. Release her. Release us all!

511. I'm getting so queasy. I'm getting very queasy.

512. - Dad! - Michael, Megan! You OK?

513. - We're fine. Thanks. - Get your things. Let's get out.

514. - We have a problem. - What? The rain?

515. We'll just get wet. Let's find your mom and get out!

516. I'm afraid that's not possible. She can't leave.

517. - Why not? - Because she can't.

518. If I could tell you, I would. But I can't, so I won't. OK?

519. How'd you...

520. Look, Daddy's having hallucinations. Let's go, right now.

521. - They're ghosts. - They are not.

522. We're having hallucinations from that dinner.

523. That chicken didn't taste right.

524. - It's not the chicken! - All right.

525. - But we're still going. - We have to help them.

526. Can't help the dead. They're beyond help. Nature of death.

527. Everyone should keep their noses in their own business.

528. We have to help them break the curse.

529. You been talking to that crazy green gypsy in the giant paperweight?

530. He found the gypsy! We've got to go back!

531. I'm not going back!

532. - But, Dad... - They had me floating around!

533. I was strapped to a chair with a marching band chasing me.

534. - I'm not going back. Forget it, Casper! - But Mom's in trouble.

535. What kind of trouble?

536. She died here, in this house.

537. She was so very young,

538. SO very beautiful.

539. She was in love with the heir to this mansion.

540. Your grandfather?

541. And he loved her more than life itself.

542. But they were from different worlds...

543. and couldn't be together.

544. How did she die, Mr. Gracey?

545. She took her own life. Poison.

546. After that, his life became unbearable.

547. And so, without hope,

548. without love,

549. without Elizabeth... he hung himself.

550. His soul wanders these halls,

551. waiting for her to return.

552. If you listen carefully,

553. you can still hear the beating of his broken heart.

554. Wait a minute. Hold it. This guy is dead,

555. and we were brought here 'cause he wants to get jiggy with my wife?

556. Pretty much. Are you upset?

557. The guy is dead, and he's trying to get with my wife!

558. And the house isn't really for sale? Yes, I'm upset.

559. Oh, Madame Leota, is it her?

560. Is she truly our dear, departed Elizabeth come back to us?

561. It is true. She walks these halls.

562. See, I told you. It is her.

563. But do not be deceived.

564. All things are not as they appear.

565. For the curse to be lifted, the truth must be known,

566. and for the truth to be known, you must find the key.

567. What are you talking about, ball lady? What key?

568. Enter the tomb under the great dead oak

569. and travel down deep under the ground,

570. and there you will find the key that must be found.

571. Find the black crypt that bears no name,

572. or soon your fate will be the same.

573. I find this key and I'll walk out with my wife and kids like nothing happened?

574. The key is the answer to all.

575. 'Min. Let's get this key.

576. There's only one problem. How do we get out of here?

577. Yeah, how do we get out of here?

578. Well, there's always...

579. my way.

580. - You said you could drive this thing! - Don't worry. I know what I'm doing.

581. Keep your eyes on the road.

582. - Move over! - What are you doing?

583. - You keep driving, you'll kill us all. - That's where you're wrong,

584. because some of us are already dead!

585. Dad, look.

586. Ready? Fire.

587. - Dad? - Yeah, son?

588. I see dead people.

589. Excuse me. Why are all these ghosts still hanging around here?

590. When they died, they couldn't find the light. And now... now they're trapped.

591. Doomed to wander the earth for all eternity.

592. Nice. Nice job.

593. OK.

594. Hey! What are you doing here?

595. - Can they see us? - No, of course not.

596. Yes, I can. I'm looking at you in your stupid hat.

597. Don't listen to him. He's lying.

598. Whatever. Come on, kids. Let's go.

599. I could swear he was looking right at me.

600. He's psychic.

601. This was to have been her wedding dress.

602. It's lovely.

603. It would have been lovelier still if she'd ever had a chance to wear it.

604. Now it serves only as a dark reminder of what could have been.

605. To love someone so much and lose them so suddenly.

606. I can't imagine how awful that must be.

607. If you truly love someone, they never leave you.

608. They remain in your heart forever.

609. Isn't that romantic?

610. He was willing to throw everything away for love.

611. Now he's broke, dead, and cursed. Nice move.

612. Crap. These are my new shoes. Kids, watch your step.

613. Crap!

614. Michael, don't say "crap."

615. Where is this place? Where are we?

616. The gypsy lady said something about making a left at an oak.

617. OK. Glad she was so specific.

618. What is that? You hear that?

619. Yeah.

620. Grin grinning ghosts Come out to socialize

621. When the crypt goes creak And the tombstones quake

622. Spooks come out For a swinging wake...

623. Excuse me. Sorry to bother you.

624. I was wondering if you know where the mausoleum was.

625. Down by The old mill stream

626. Where I first met...

627. No, I think they said it was an old oak?

628. That's what they said. It's by...

629. - By the light - By the light

630. Of the silvery moon Of the silvery moon...

631. Guys, you sound good, your harmony's tight.

632. We're trying to find my wife. She'll be...

633. Comin' 'round the mountain When she comes, when she comes

634. She'll be comin' 'round The mountain when she...

635. I'm trying to find a key...

636. Where's the key Where's the key

637. Where's the beautiful key? Find the key, find the key

638. Oh, how happy you'll be

639. The key I'm trying to find is in the mausoleum?

640. The key is in the mausoleum!

641. You left your key

642. In a mausoleum

643. - Down in Dixie - Dad, there it is!

644. - Dad, there it is - Oh, thanks.

645. - Dad, there it is - Thanks for nothing.

646. OK, we made it.

647. All right, kids. Stay close.

648. Look. It's a warning.

649. - Now, how do you know that? - I studied Latin for three years, Dad.

650. You thought it was dumb, remember? You said it was a dead language.

651. Well, we see how wrong I was about that.

652. "Beware all who enter.

653. Here lies the passage to the dead."

654. Hey! Where you going?

655. - I don't like Latin. - We've been through this.

656. You're ten. Start being a man.

657. I just turned ten. I'm still getting used to it.

658. Here's what we do.

659. - Megan, stay with your brother. - What?

660. I'm not gonna leave him here by himself.

661. You guys stay together, and I'll take care of this.

662. All right.

663. OK. All right.

664. OK.

665. I'll be right back.

666. 20 minutes, tops, right?

667. 20 minutes, tops.

668. What was it that gypsy told me to look for?

669. Look for a crypt with...

670. Look for a crypt...

671. A crypt with no name.

672. What's the matter with you? You can't pop out.

673. You'll give me a heart attack. I told you to wait with Michael.

674. I was worried you wouldn't find it.

675. Besides, Michael's fine.

676. She said, "Find the black crypt with no name",

677. "or soon your fate will be the same."

678. - That must be it. - Good hunch, Dad.

679. I'm officially starting to get sick of this place.

680. And we're here 'cause of who?

681. Because I take seriously my responsibility as breadwinner,

682. and want you to have everything I never had.

683. - 1 didn't know you had a bad childhood. - I didn't.

684. Then why do we have to have what you didn't have?

685. Because...

686. Don't be tricking me, you little Latin-speaking 13-year-old.

687. Let's just get this over with. Hold this.

688. Two hands, now.

689. Oh, man!

690. Excuse me. One second. Sorry to bother you.

691. OK. All right.

692. That wasn't that hard, was it? Let's get out of here.

693. That gypsy had me thinking it'd be hard. That was easy.

694. Get the key! I'll take care of him.

695. Go on back to bed. Get back in the bed.

696. I'm Jim Evers of Evers and Evers Real Estate.

697. I don't want no trouble. Gypsy told me it was all right to get the key...

698. Lighten up. I'm trying to get the key 'cause I gotta get my wife.

699. I don't want trouble!

700. Back up!

701. You asked for it.

702. Next time, you'll think twice before coming back from the dead, ain't you?

703. - Did you get the key? - I'm looking.

704. Take your time. Relax. I have everything under control.

705. I have everything completely under control.

706. Megan, you better look faster!

707. I don't want to do this.

708. Give me your hand.

709. Come on, come on!

710. Come on! Hurry up!

711. - Hold on! We're coming! - Hurry!

712. Michael, open the door! It's locked from the outside!

713. Michael, open the door. Open the door!

714. There are spiders everywhere. I don't have a magazine!

715. Michael, are you scared?

716. It's OK to be scared. Everybody gets scared.

717. - Daddy's scared right now. - You are?

718. Very scared. Please open the door, son.

719. Michael, open the door, or I'll kill you!

720. That's the way to keep him calm!

721. Everybody gets scared now and then, but you can't let it stop you!

722. You think you're scared now, wait till the zombies come out!

723. What zombies?

724. Just open the door. We're running out of time!

725. - Dad, they're coming! - Open the door!

726. Michael, open the door now! Open the door!

727. Open the door!

728. Lock it! Lock it! OK, come on!

729. OK. All right. Get 'em off.

730. All right. We got it. You OK?

731. All right. OK. My brave little man.

732. - All right. You OK? - You got the key?

733. Wait. Yeah, I got it. There it is. OK.

734. We went to hell and back to get this. Where's the door out of here?

735. First, you must find the trunk.

736. - Trunk? - Yes, trunk.

737. - Not door? - No. Not door. Trunk.

738. You said I had to find this key.

739. Now you're telling me this story about a trunk.

740. "The key is the answer to all," remember?

741. I don't make the rules. I just work here.

742. OK, that's the last straw. I've had enough of this nonsense.

743. What are you doing? Put me down!

744. This is bad luck. This is very bad luck.

745. I'll show you bad luck. I'm tired of playing around.

746. - I'm getting nauseous! - You'll get over it.

747. Please don't drop me. I'm very fragile.

748. Don't talk to me about being fragile.

749. I'm the one that's feeling fragile right now.

750. - Is that it? - That's it.

751. Now we're in business.

752. Hold her for a second.

753. All right. OK.

754. How do I know what to look for? It's full of junk.

755. Find the thing that must be read.

756. Lest your heart be filled with dread.

757. There's nothing in here red.

758. Wait a minute. There's a letter here.

759. It's a letter.

760. "Yes, my dear heart, I will marry you.

761. I will love you for all eternity, and tonight, at last,

762. we will be together.

763. I do. Forever yours, Elizabeth."

764. - She didn't kill herself. - She wanted to be with him.

765. Yeah, and somebody gave him the wrong letter.

766. Yes. Well done, Mr. Evers.

767. I must say, I am impressed.

768. You are more persistent than I would have ever imagined.

769. The butler did it? You gotta be kidding me.

770. I will deal with you two later.

771. - Why'd you kill her? - The master wouldn't listen to reason.

772. He had everything in the world, and yet he was willing to throw it all away

773. for love.

774. I did tell him it would end badly.

775. - You're a real cold dude. - No, Mr. Evers.

776. I am a rational man.

777. It was my responsibility to the house,

778. my duty, sir, to see to it that the boy

779. did not make a foolish error in judgment.

780. Running away with that girl would have destroyed this house.

781. It would have destroyed everything,

782. and I could not stand by and watch it fall to ruin.

783. Punch his face in, Dad.

784. But first I'll tell his master what happened.

785. He must never know.

786. Edward and his love will be reunited, and this curse will be broken.

787. But that's my wife!

788. And what she sees in you, I'll never know.

789. But that is of little importance now.

790. The only thing that matters is that the master's pain must end.

791. And it will end tonight.

792. The curse will be broken, and we can all finally move on.

793. That's it, man. Where's my wife?

794. Getting ready for her wedding, of course.

795. He can't marry her. He's dead, she's not.

796. True, but that can be easily corrected.

797. Life, I'm afraid, is such a delicate state.

798. If you put one finger on my wife, I'll kill you!

799. How wonderful. You're going to kill a ghost.

800. - Leave him alone! - Stop it!

801. Let 'em go!

802. Let my kids out of here, take me to my wife,

803. and let us out of here right now!

804. You want out? Fine.

805. Let me show you out.

806. Now, for the last time...

807. Good night, Mr. Evers.

808. This house has waited so long

809. to have its shroud of darkness lifted.

810. And tonight,

811. for the first time in...

812. SO many years,

813. I believe it may be possible.

814. The story will finally end differently.

815. Sara.

816. Do you believe that love is about second chances?

817. About forgiveness?

818. Yes, I do.

819. - Don't you remember? - Remember?

820. - Mr. Gracey, are you all right? - Don't you recognize me at all?

821. Mr. Gracey...

822. I thought bringing you back to Gracey Manor would help you remember.

823. Remember what? Mr. Gracey, you're scaring me.

824. Where it happened! Where we spent our last moments together!

825. Where we danced together for the last time before you...

826. before you killed yourself!

827. Now you've returned to me, and at long last we can be together!

828. Why do you not remember? You're my world, my life,

829. and I have loved you in death as I did in life!

830. - Let me go! - Why do you not remember?

831. You are her. You are Elizabeth. You must be!

832. Can you not sense it? Search your heart. I am your one true love.

833. Now we can finally be together. Don't you understand?

834. - Elizabeth, you must listen to me. - I'm not Elizabeth!

835. - Please, I implore you! - Leave me alone. Get away from me!

836. She doesn't remember. It can't be her.

837. It is her, sir.

838. The Gypsy woman prophesied her return,

839. and now the time has come.

840. You had best get ready.

841. But she doesn't remember.

842. In time she will, sir.

843. I assure you. She will.

844. Open up!

845. Hey! Let me in!

846. Ramsley, you have to help me.

847. There's something horribly wrong.

848. - Mr. Gracey... - Yes, I know, my dear.

849. He's expecting you. He's always been expecting you.

850. And you haven't put on your dress yet.

851. We can't keep the master waiting.

852. Waiting? For what?

853. Why, your wedding, of course.

854. My... I'm not Elizabeth!

855. Of course you are, my dear.

856. You may not see it yet, but in time you will.

857. You don't actually think I'm going through with this madness?

858. Yes, I very much do.

859. You see, we wouldn't want anything to happen

860. to the children, now, would we?

861. - Mom! Dad! - Michael! Megan!

862. - You wouldn't! - Of course not, my dear.

863. But that is entirely up to you.

864. If not... I really do fear for the children.

865. Have her ready.

866. And this time, any further acts of insubordination

867. will be dealt with in the harshest possible manner.

868. But, sir...

869. There are worse things than purgatory, Madame.

870. I can assure you.

871. Have her ready.

872. Tears of joy.

873. - What are you doing? - Hey, you leave me alone.

874. Get out of here and leave me alone.

875. I see. You're gonna sit there feeling sorry for yourself.

876. You tell me why not. This whole thing was my fault.

877. We shouldn't have been here in the first place.

878. We were supposed to be at the lake.

879. We'd be sitting by a warm fire right now.

880. I made us come here.

881. And now it's too late.

882. No, it's never too late.

883. I tried to get in there, and I can't.

884. - I tried. I failed. - You try, you fail.

885. You try, you fail.

886. But the only true failure is when you stop trying.

887. What do you want me to do?

888. Try again.

889. - Hold on! - With what?

890. Elizabeth?

891. Yes, my love.

892. - I'll be right back. - OK. I'll wait here.

893. Dearly beloved,

894. we are gathered together here in the sight of God

895. to join this man and this woman in the bonds of holy matrimony.

896. Michael! Megan!

897. Wilt thou, Edward Gracey,

898. have this woman to be thy wedded wife,

899. to live together after God's ordinance in the holy estate of matrimony?

900. I will.

901. And do you,

902. Elizabeth Henshaw,

903. take this man to be your lawful husband,

904. to love and cherish in death as you did in life?

905. I do.

906. From this day forward,

907. you shall be joined together as one for all eternity,

908. until the very end of time.

909. Imbibo ut vestri posterus.

910. What God has joined together,

911. let no man cast asunder.

912. Dad!

913. If anyone has any objections...

914. Yeah, I got a few objections!

915. Next time I say we're going to the lake, we're going to the lake.

916. Let's go.

917. Get away from her.

918. I lost her once. I don't intend to let it happen again.

919. This is not Elizabeth. Ramsley, tell him the truth.

920. I don't know what you're talking about.

921. Now you got amnesia?

922. Elizabeth didn't kill herself. He did it. He's lied to you all along.

923. - I'm warning you, sir. Step away. - Just 'cause you pull out your sword,

924. - I'm not gonna let you marry my wife. - My patience is wearing thin.

925. - Elizabeth, please, come along. - I'm not Elizabeth.

926. - You must be! - She's Sara from New Jersey.

927. Ramsley wants you to think she's Elizabeth to lift this curse.

928. That is absurd.

929. Forgive me.

930. You gonna kill me, kill me. But when I come on the other side,

931. I'm gonna whip your ass for all eternity.

932. Read this before you stab somebody.

933. - What is it? - Elizabeth's letter.

934. The real letter she wrote. The one he stole. You never saw it.

935. What's the meaning of this?

936. Must we continue to listen to the ramblings of a lunatic?

937. - But it is written in her hand. - Yeah, it's written in her hand.

938. - Explain that. - Well?

939. Your union was unacceptable.

940. I tried to warn you, but you wouldn't listen.

941. So you killed her.

942. I told you it would be a mistake to run away with that girl.

943. But I loved her! Was love my mistake?

944. Yes!

945. I tried to protect you.

946. All these years, I've sacrificed for you.

947. But what would you understand of sacrifice, duty or honor?

948. You loved her?

949. Well, damn you!

950. Damn you all to hell!

951. Jim!

952. Mom!

953. - Mom, what's wrong? - Are you all right?

954. Hey! Hey, Sara, what's the matter?

955. Sara, what's wrong?

956. What's wrong?

957. - It's the poison! - Oh, no.

958. No. Hey, Sara? Please, don't do this.

959. - Don't do this, please. - Jim.

960. Sarah! Hey!

961. Sara, come on, please.

962. Sara, I love you.

963. Sara, please, I love you so much.

964. - Get away! Leave us alone! - No, Dad, it won't hurt us.

965. Elizabeth, is that you?

966. Yes, my love.

967. The ghost ball was Elizabeth.

968. The truth had to be known for me to be released.

969. He saved me.

970. It was nothing.

971. Oh, Elizabeth.

972. Yes, my darling?

973. I have waited so long for this moment.

974. And now only heaven awaits.

975. He's not really kissing your mom.

976. That's my wife.

977. Sara?

978. Jim?

979. Thought I lost you.

980. I thought I lost you, too.

981. I'm back, Sara.

982. I'm back.

983. Can you ever forgive me?

984. What's to forgive? You loved her.

985. Here. Take this.

986. - What is it? - The deed to the house.

987. It's yours. Do with it what you will.

988. Sell it. Keep it. Do whatever makes you and your family happy.

989. And thank you.

990. Thank you all so much.

991. Wait! Wait for us!

992. Hold on!

993. - What's all this? - I don't know what we'll need.

994. We're going to heaven. You can't take it with you.

995. The hell I can't.

996. Goodbye.

997. - Bye-bye. - Thank you all so much.

998. - Bye. - Thank you.

999. Hurry. Let's go!

1000. - Bye! - OK, here we go.

1001. Bye-bye.

1002. Angels in heaven, together at last

1003. The tale is well-ended for those who have passed

1004. Love endures all, no reason, no rhyme

1005. It lasts forever and forever all time

1006. - Mom, Leota won't shut up. - Are we there yet?

1007. - I'm getting hungry. - Can we get some pizza?

1008. How long before we get there?

1009. - 20 minutes, tops. - Nothing takes 20 minutes.

1010. Hey, guys, keep it down!

1011. We'll keep it down We'll keep it down

1012. Oh yes, we will We'll keep it down

1013. Oh, we're driving Down the highway

1014. Yeah

1015. And we're trying to keep it

1016. Down

1017. Hurry back.

1018. Hurry back!

1019. Be sure to bring your death certificate.

1020. If you decide to join us,

1021. make your final arrangements now.

1022. We've been dying to have you.