1. Take out the papers and the trashCopy !req
2. Or you don't get no spendin' cashCopy !req
3. If you don't scrub that kitchen floorCopy !req
4. You ain't gonna rock and roll no moreCopy !req
5. Yakety yak
Don't talk backCopy !req
6. Just finish cleanin' up your roomCopy !req
7. Let's see that dust fly with that broomCopy !req
8. Get all that garbage out of sightCopy !req
9. Or you don't go out Friday nightCopy !req
10. Yakety yak
Don't talk backCopy !req
11. You just put on your coat and hatCopy !req
12. And walk yourself to the LaundromatCopy !req
13. And when you've finished doing thatCopy !req
14. Bring in the dog and put out the catCopy !req
15. Yakety yak
Don't talk backCopy !req
16. You just put on your coat and hatCopy !req
17. And walk yourself to the LaundromatCopy !req
18. And when you've finished doing thatCopy !req
19. Bring in the dog and put out the catCopy !req
20. Yakety yak
Don't talk backCopy !req
21. Yakety yak, yakety yakCopy !req
22. Yakety yak, yakety yakCopy !req
23. Yakety yak, yakety yakCopy !req
24. You messed up the words, Ben.Copy !req
25. - No.
- You messed up the words twice.Copy !req
26. Oh, wow! It hasn't changed.Copy !req
27. God, I would've thought
they made some improvements or something.Copy !req
28. Come on, everybody.Copy !req
29. Hey.Copy !req
30. Our Lady of Victory...Copy !req
31. Pray for us. Break!
Let's go.Copy !req
32. Oh!Copy !req
33. Watch the doors.Copy !req
34. Whoa!
Trees in the parking lot.Copy !req
35. Oh! Nature all around us, boys.Copy !req
36. Take it in. Take it all in.Copy !req
37. I'm gonna go check us in.Copy !req
38. This is great.Copy !req
39. Well? Is this a real
North Woods lodge or what?Copy !req
40. Mmm-hmm.
Great.Copy !req
41. Check out the shotgun lamp.Copy !req
42. Isn't that something, huh?
You don't see that every day.Copy !req
43. Hey.Copy !req
44. Hello! Hello! Anybody home?Copy !req
45. Looks the same, doesn't it?Copy !req
46. Doesn't it?
Smells the same too.Copy !req
47. Yeah, it does. Hello!Copy !req
48. I wonder if they have
a lot of check-ins.Copy !req
49. What's this?
What's this over here?Copy !req
50. "For prompt service, blow me."Copy !req
51. It's an interesting touch.
It's charming.Copy !req
52. Blow it.
Shall I?Copy !req
53. Go ahead.Copy !req
54. Yeah!Copy !req
55. Whoo. Jeez!Copy !req
56. Folks, don't mind Wormer.
She hates people.Copy !req
57. Wormer, shut the frig up.
What can I do you for?Copy !req
58. What happened to that...
That dog's face?Copy !req
59. Porcupine quills.
Loves porcupines, hates people.Copy !req
60. She's in heat too.
Too bad you're not a dog.Copy !req
61. What can I do you for?Copy !req
62. Wally, your dog
ever had a bath before?Copy !req
63. There she is.
Oh, that's a gorgeous cabin.Copy !req
64. Okay, hold it, hold it!
That's good enough. Hey!Copy !req
65. Honey, that's bigger
than our honeymoon cabin.Copy !req
66. You city-dwelling fools
are damn lucky to have this cabin.Copy !req
67. It just became available
yesterday.Copy !req
68. We call it the Loon's Nest.Copy !req
69. You know what a loon is,
noodlehead?Copy !req
70. Yeah, we have one in our family.
Hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
71. We had a fishing party
in there up until yesterday.Copy !req
72. They caught their limit,
and then blew.
It's all redecorated inside.Copy !req
73. Every bit of it.Copy !req
74. Me and Wally sunk
over 300 bucks into it.Copy !req
75. And that's not counting
what we spent on Lysol.Copy !req
76. - Is that right?
- It's beautiful.Copy !req
77. Now, you folks enjoy your stay.Copy !req
78. Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
79. Thank you very much.
How could you not
in a place like this?Copy !req
80. You could get the shits
from the well water.Copy !req
81. What did he say?
I missed it.Copy !req
82. What a gas!Copy !req
83. Chet's gonna shit
a solid-gold brick!
What a great surprise!Copy !req
84. I'll go see where
he's bivouacked the family.Copy !req
85. This is very unfair, Roman.Copy !req
86. What the hell are you talking about?
We're a family, for crying out loud!Copy !req
87. How many times have we
invited Chet and Connie
to the islands with us? A dozen?Copy !req
88. This is a little different.
We weren't invited.Copy !req
89. Ah, they'll be tickled
to death to see us.Copy !req
90. Honey, I found out
what was stinking up the shower.Copy !req
91. A present from me to you.Copy !req
92. How thoughtful.
That's really nice.Copy !req
93. Put it in there with all the others.Copy !req
94. There's fish
all over this house.
Look, a pink one.Copy !req
95. All right, let's leave
this stuff right here, okay?Copy !req
96. You put your bathing suit on,
and we'll go down to the lake.Copy !req
97. No, no, you go ahead.
I really just can't seem
to relax in filth.Copy !req
98. Come on. We'll all pitch in later
and clean this up, all right? Let's go.Copy !req
99. You know, we can't
even use the bathroomCopy !req
100. until someone
finds the toilet seat?Copy !req
101. Buck already found the toilet seat.
It was on the sun porch.Copy !req
102. Sun porch?
Yeah.Copy !req
103. Makes you wonder, doesn't it?Copy !req
104. Come on, no further excuses, all right?Copy !req
105. What are you doing?
I don't know. I don't know.Copy !req
106. Stop it, Chet.
You know,
the kids are at the lake.Copy !req
107. Come on, Chet, stop.
What are you doing?
I'm not doing anything.Copy !req
108. Honey, honey, honey, no!Copy !req
109. Well, we got the house to ourselves. Hello.Copy !req
110. Oh, no! What happened?
I'm sorry.Copy !req
111. I'm so sorry.
I just don't feel like this.Copy !req
112. Can you understand that?
I'm tired, I'm stinky.Copy !req
113. Come on.
What are you doing? Come on.Copy !req
114. Come on. We're at the house by ourselves.Copy !req
115. What about the kids? I don't care!Copy !req
116. What about the kids?
They're down at the lake.Copy !req
117. Don't do this here.
Let's go to the bedroom.Copy !req
118. Why? That's the great thing
about being in the North Woods, Connie.Copy !req
119. What are you feeding me now?Copy !req
120. Come on!Copy !req
121. You can run around here
naked as a bearCopy !req
122. and not worry
about running into anybody.Copy !req
123. Is that right?
Yes.Copy !req
124. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
125. Really?Copy !req
126. You think it's possible
that we could play fashion parade? Please.Copy !req
127. I don't wanna play fashion parade.
Why?Copy !req
128. You get to wear
the good outfits!Copy !req
129. - Oh, no, I'll let you wear them.
- You will?Copy !req
130. Now, uh, you will be Shelana!Copy !req
131. Shelana, the oak tree woman.Copy !req
132. Oh, I love it when
I'm the oak tree woman!Copy !req
133. Temptress of the woods.Copy !req
134. Yes! Yes!
Yes!Copy !req
135. And I will be Burt.Copy !req
136. Burt.
A guy named Burt.Copy !req
137. I love it when you're Burt.
You're always...Copy !req
138. Mmm. Or I could be
Smokey's cousin, Horny.Copy !req
139. - He has endurance.
- Yes, he does.Copy !req
140. Anybody home?Copy !req
141. Shelana the woods temptress?Copy !req
142. With Horny the Bear,
Smokey's cousin?Copy !req
143. Okay, okay.Copy !req
144. Turn that off. Turn it off.
Oh yeah. No, no, Chester, you said it.Copy !req
145. Do it on the floor.Copy !req
146. Beautiful stuff.
Hey, that's all right.Copy !req
147. Game playing, role playing.
Helps in a marriage
after a little while, you know?Copy !req
148. Turn the damn thing off!
Turn it off.Copy !req
149. That was quite a surprise. I mean...Copy !req
150. That was quite a surprise. I mean...Copy !req
151. You got me.Copy !req
152. And the whole week you'll be here!Copy !req
153. Okay.Copy !req
154. Oh, wow! Just something.Copy !req
155. So, anyway,
you're an intelligent man.Copy !req
156. Thank you.Copy !req
157. You make a good living.
Not bad.Copy !req
158. You got a good life.
Pretty good.Copy !req
159. Answer me one question.
Sure.Copy !req
160. Why the hell would you want to come up toCopy !req
161. a plant-infested no-man's-land like this
and live like a barbarian for a week?Copy !req
162. You wouldn't understand.Copy !req
163. Try me.Copy !req
164. I have great memories of this
country when I was a kid, you know,
and I used to come up here with my dadCopy !req
165. and I want the boys
to have the same memories.Copy !req
166. Look around you, Roman!
For God sakes,
this is beautiful country here!Copy !req
167. Take a good look.Copy !req
168. I'll tell you what I see
when I look out there,
if you wanna know.Copy !req
169. Yeah, I'm curious.Copy !req
170. I see the underdeveloped resources
of Northern Minnesota,
Wisconsin and Michigan.Copy !req
171. I see a syndicated
development consortiumCopy !req
172. exploiting over
a billion and a half dollars in forest products.Copy !req
173. I see a paper mill,
and, if the strategic metals
are there, a mining operation.Copy !req
174. A green belt between
the condos on the lake
and a waste management facilityCopy !req
175. focusing on the newest rage
in toxic waste, medical refuse,Copy !req
176. infected bandages, body parts,
IV tubing, contaminated glassware,Copy !req
177. entrails, syringes, fluid, blood,
low-grade radioactive wastes,Copy !req
178. all safely contained,
sunken in the lake
and sealed for centuries.Copy !req
179. Now, I ask you. What do you see?Copy !req
180. I just see, uh... I see trees.Copy !req
181. Well, no one ever accused you
of having a grand vision.
Nope.Copy !req
182. Maybe it's all for the best.
While the ambitious scramble
for wealth and power,Copy !req
183. the Chet Ripley's of the world
are just able to lay backCopy !req
184. and casually stroll
along life's path.Copy !req
185. I mean that as a compliment.
Oh, thanks.Copy !req
186. The rest of us
are all probably gonna dieCopy !req
187. of heart attacks
and strokes long before you.Copy !req
188. I hope so.
Wouldn't that be great?Copy !req
189. Gee, just to see a bunch
of people drop that you hate.Copy !req
190. That would be something else,
I'm telling you.Copy !req
191. My goodness! My goodness me!Copy !req
192. I'm gonna walk down
life's path right now.Copy !req
193. Ah, get the barbecue going,
get some hot dogs on there.Copy !req
194. Wait a minute. No way.
Wait a hot-shit minute.Copy !req
195. Rule one, no relative of mine
is gonna eat hot dogsCopy !req
196. as long as he's sharing
my cabin. Katie!Copy !req
197. Do you sense the presence
of an alien life form?Copy !req
198. Now that you mention it,
I do kind of sense
something kind of strange.Copy !req
199. Yeah, some kind of...Copy !req
200. Ah, shit.Copy !req
201. Did I tell you
what we did in the Euro-currency
futures market last week?Copy !req
202. Probably.Copy !req
203. I thought I might have mentioned
how we picked up
a deutschmarks contract,Copy !req
204. sat on it a week, sold it
taking a 300 percent profit.Copy !req
205. Well, easy money
is money easily lost.Copy !req
206. See, I can't believe how dangerously
old-fashioned your thinking is.Copy !req
207. Three hundred percent profit, huh?Copy !req
208. Sometimes it's 200 percent,
sometimes 100 percent.Copy !req
209. Take the good with the bad.Copy !req
210. Yeah.
Still that's pretty good.Copy !req
211. The point of the matter is,Copy !req
212. you should have your piece too.Copy !req
213. Wow, hot! Oh ho!Copy !req
214. How are those tails?Copy !req
215. What? Who's saying something
about my tails? They're killers.Copy !req
216. They're 28 bucks a pop.
Twenty-eight? Oh, my God.Copy !req
217. You know, Chet and I haven't had lobster
in an age, not since our anniversary, anyway.Copy !req
218. Oh, my goodness!
Jumping lobster!Copy !req
219. Save that one.
That'll be for me.Copy !req
220. I'll make sure of that.Copy !req
221. How about the gourmet here?
You know what he wanted? Hot dogs.Copy !req
222. You know what they
make those things out of, huh, Chet?Copy !req
223. Lips and assholes.Copy !req
224. I guess I'm old-fashioned.
I like assholes.Copy !req
225. And I like lips!Copy !req
226. If I could market lips like those,
I'd make another million.Copy !req
227. Lobster turned out all right, huh?
If I do say so myself.Copy !req
228. So, I think we should go into town tomorrow
and pick up a ski boat.Copy !req
229. What do you say?
Sound good, guys?Copy !req
230. Uncle Roman will blow some coin
on a kick-ass drag boat.Copy !req
231. That's okay.
We're renting a pontoon boat.Copy !req
232. Pontoon boat.
What the hell you gonna do
with a pontoon boat?Copy !req
233. Retake Omaha Beach?Copy !req
234. No, not at all.Copy !req
235. A pontoon boat, you go out
and, you know, you cruise the lake.Copy !req
236. You swim from them, you fish from them,
and even bring the barbecue out.Copy !req
237. You have a great time
with these things.Copy !req
238. You tour the lake in comfort
is what I'm saying.Copy !req
239. You guys wanna cruise
the lake in comfortCopy !req
240. or would you rather skim the waves
with Uncle Roman in a jet boat?Copy !req
241. Jet boat!Copy !req
242. Sorry, Dad.Copy !req
243. Attaboy, Benny!
All right, that's my man!Copy !req
244. Care to put it
to a vote, Chester?Copy !req
245. We don't need a vote, all right?
If you guys want a jet boat,
you get a jet boat.Copy !req
246. Buck and I are getting
a pontoon boat, right, Buck?Copy !req
247. Sorry, Dad.Copy !req
248. Directly from the mouths
of babes, Chet.Copy !req
249. Are you gonna argue, or are you
gonna enjoy yourselves?Copy !req
250. Hey, I'm enjoying! Chet's arguing.Copy !req
251. Hey, how about if the kids
go out and catch fireflies.Copy !req
252. You know, we could play cards.Copy !req
253. Cara? Mara?Copy !req
254. You little dolls wanna go outside
and catch fireflies?Copy !req
255. Honey, they don't like bugs.Copy !req
256. What do you mean?
All kids like bugs. They're cute.Copy !req
257. Especially fireflies. Their butts light up.Copy !req
258. I tell you,
I am a killer Monopoly player.Copy !req
259. Roman taught me. He's vicious.Copy !req
260. Buddy Reiser died.Copy !req
261. Oh, no!Copy !req
262. The president of Energy
and Resources died in bed.Copy !req
263. He was your mentor, wasn't he?Copy !req
264. One of the men I admired.Copy !req
265. Hey, I'm trying to read here.Copy !req
266. Yeah,
I'm reading the Wall Street Report.Copy !req
267. Sorry, I think I have to
tell you this story.Copy !req
268. A story that might save your livesCopy !req
269. since we're up here in the North Woods.Copy !req
270. I know the Heimlich maneuver.Copy !req
271. No, this isCopy !req
272. a bear story.Copy !req
273. A true bear story.Copy !req
274. See, Connie and I honeymooned
up at this very same lake.Copy !req
275. Big spender.Copy !req
276. We stayed at my uncle's cabin.Copy !req
277. Uncle George?Copy !req
278. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
279. One night we were getting ready for bedCopy !req
280. and we heard this terrible noise
out by the trash cans.Copy !req
281. You remember?Copy !req
282. And, uh, I went downstairsCopy !req
283. to check it out,Copy !req
284. looked out the window.Copy !req
285. And thereCopy !req
286. was the biggest, baddest bearCopy !req
287. in the North Woods.Copy !req
288. Sure, Dad.Copy !req
289. No, it's true. It's true.Copy !req
290. This bear was over eight feet high.Copy !req
291. With big, white teeth.Copy !req
292. FangsCopy !req
293. stained pinkCopy !req
294. from whatever it killed
before it got to our cabin.Copy !req
295. It was frightening.Copy !req
296. Frightening.Copy !req
297. The paws on this thing
were immense...Copy !req
298. Ugh.Copy !req
299. with big black claws,Copy !req
300. razor sharpCopy !req
301. like Freddy Krueger.Copy !req
302. Only worse. Worse, worse.Copy !req
303. This wasn't a movie. This was happening.
This was now. This was right in front of me.Copy !req
304. And all that separated me
from that bearCopy !req
305. was a pane of glass.Copy !req
306. Honey, maybe we shouldn't
tell this story right now.Copy !req
307. Mom, it's fine.Copy !req
308. No, no. I'm thinking about nightmares.Copy !req
309. No, no. They have to hear this.Copy !req
310. Like I say, it might save
their life one day.Copy !req
311. Now I saw that bear,Copy !req
312. it saw me,Copy !req
313. and it was hungry.Copy !req
314. Hungry for blood!Copy !req
315. Human blood.Copy !req
316. You see, once a bear
gets a taste for blood,Copy !req
317. it craves it,Copy !req
318. it needs it.Copy !req
319. It will do anything it can to get it.Copy !req
320. That bear had become a man-eater.Copy !req
321. Our eyes locked.
My heart was pumping.Copy !req
322. Pump, pump, pump,Copy !req
323. pump, pump.Copy !req
324. I ran into the living room.Copy !req
325. I grabbed the shotgun
off the mantle.Copy !req
326. Turned around,Copy !req
327. and there was that bear right in the window.Copy !req
328. Its breath was fogging up the glass.Copy !req
329. And suddenly it let out
this God-awful roar.Copy !req
330. It started smashing on the walls.Copy !req
331. Then the pots
and pans started rattling.Copy !req
332. And the walls started shimmering
and the floorboards started lifting.Copy !req
333. I knew then that it was either the bear
or your mom and I.Copy !req
334. So I raised the rifle,
I took aim and I fired!Copy !req
335. You wasted her?Copy !req
336. Nah, Benny, Benny, Benny.
A shotgun's not gonna kill
a monster bear like that!Copy !req
337. Well, what happened?Copy !req
338. The buckshot shaved the hair
clean off the top of its head.Copy !req
339. It ran off.
We never saw it again.Copy !req
340. Oh, I hear from my uncle
every now and then.Copy !req
341. And he'd tell us about
the bald-headed killer bearCopy !req
342. that was roaming about the area.Copy !req
343. The bald-headed killer bearCopy !req
344. of Clare County.Copy !req
345. Is she still around?Copy !req
346. Oh! No, no, no.
That bear's gone.Copy !req
347. She may be out there.Copy !req
348. Crazy, bloodthirsty as ever.Copy !req
349. So when you go to bed tonight,Copy !req
350. if you hear a noise,Copy !req
351. whatever you do,Copy !req
352. don't look out the window.Copy !req
353. Because it might be the bear!Copy !req
354. Jesus Christ! I'm half-drunk here, Chet.
What are you trying to do?Copy !req
355. Give me nightmares for a month?Copy !req
356. Come on, Roman.Copy !req
357. I can't believe you, Dad.
All right?Copy !req
358. Oh, Benny, Benny, honey!Copy !req
359. Gee, I'm 25 pounds overweight.
I don't need a blast to the ticker like that!Copy !req
360. I felt my plaque start flowing again!Copy !req
361. Really inappropriate, Chet.Copy !req
362. What? It was a story!Copy !req
363. Come on!Copy !req
364. Oh, come on!
It was a kind of true story.Copy !req
365. Part of it happened.
I just embellished a bit, that's all.
Come on, kids.Copy !req
366. Oh, what? What?
What is that look?Copy !req
367. Benny...Copy !req
368. So now I get the look.
I was just trying
to have some fun.Copy !req
369. Good night.Copy !req
370. Oh, God!Copy !req
371. So I made the fangs
a little bigger. Jeez.Copy !req
372. I'm telling you, you got
nothing to be afraid of, okay?Copy !req
373. I mean it.Copy !req
374. Look, it's a story
my dad told me,Copy !req
375. and I'm sure his dad told him,
and I'm telling you.Copy !req
376. It's just made up.Copy !req
377. One day you're gonna tell your kids
this story. You will. I guarantee it.Copy !req
378. Good evening.Copy !req
379. How's it going?Copy !req
380. Listen, girls,Copy !req
381. as your father,Copy !req
382. I feel it incumbent upon me
to set the record straightCopy !req
383. on the validity of the tale
which Uncle Chet
shared with us this evening.Copy !req
384. I know that a terrifying story like thatCopy !req
385. coming from the mouth
of a recognized authority figureCopy !req
386. could be traumatizing
for kids like yourselves.Copy !req
387. I know that because I had a similar
experience with my Uncle RoyCopy !req
388. and a story he used to tell
about a family that went into the woodsCopy !req
389. and was attacked by a band
of escaped army psychiatric patientsCopy !req
390. who'd been subjected to violent,Copy !req
391. hellish, torturous behavior-modification
experiments.Copy !req
392. It seems they escaped
from the metal boxes
the army kept them in,Copy !req
393. found this family in the woods,Copy !req
394. fell upon them,
slaughtered them and ate them.Copy !req
395. Now, that story gave me nightmares
not to be believed.Copy !req
396. I don't want Uncle Chet's bear story
to upset you in the same way.Copy !req
397. So I'm here to say
that there actually is no bearCopy !req
398. and that all
of what Uncle Chet was sayingCopy !req
399. was just a yarn, spinning
for our entertainment.Copy !req
400. And even if there were a bear out there,
I'm in the house to protect you.Copy !req
401. So, no more thinking
about bears, all right?Copy !req
402. No more thinking
about unpleasant things.Copy !req
403. We're gonna close our eyes
and dream about nice things.Copy !req
404. About cuddly,Copy !req
405. soft, fluffy things.Copy !req
406. Okay?Copy !req
407. Super.Copy !req
408. Good night. Sleep tight.Copy !req
409. Honey?Copy !req
410. Chet? Where are you?Copy !req
411. Oh, God! That's rotted. Oh!Copy !req
412. Hello. Jerry Asmuth, please.
Roman Craig.Copy !req
413. Yeah, I can hold,
but not for too long.Copy !req
414. I'm in God's country here.
My signal's kind of weak.Copy !req
415. - Honey?
- Yes, Roman?Copy !req
416. Why is it Chet's kids
look at him like he's ZeusCopy !req
417. and my kids look at me
like I'm a rack of yard tools
at Sears?Copy !req
418. I mean, why can't they
connect with me?Copy !req
419. Well, honey,
maybe if you spent less time at workCopy !req
420. and a little more time with us,
things would be different.Copy !req
421. Put a cork in it, honey.
Talking business.Copy !req
422. Jerry. Yeah, Roman.
How are you?Copy !req
423. Listen, I'll save us a lot of trouble now
and cut right to the chase.Copy !req
424. I got an unbelievable
investment opportunity for you.Copy !req
425. You got about three minutes
and 25 grand? Jerry?Copy !req
426. Did you hear what I said?Copy !req
427. Lost the signal here.
These cellular phones, they don't work.Copy !req
428. Well, maybe he hung up on you.Copy !req
429. Why would our minister
hang up on me?
I've been to his church.Copy !req
430. Oh, yeah! Once!Copy !req
431. All right!Copy !req
432. How about that, huh?Copy !req
433. We're gonna be scraping
the bugs off our teeth
with this baby, Ben!Copy !req
434. That's too much boat.
It's just too much.Copy !req
435. Can I ask you a question?
Sure. Are you hungry?Copy !req
436. Give me four chili dogs
and two plain dogs, please.Copy !req
437. That's six hot dogs, Dad.Copy !req
438. It's for everybody, all right?
And I'm hungry.Copy !req
439. So?Copy !req
440. Oh, yeah. Do you mind if I
just walk around for a while?
You know, cruise the town?Copy !req
441. I can walk back when I'm done.Copy !req
442. All right, all right.
But you gotta promise meCopy !req
443. when you get back we're gonna
spend some time together.
Right.Copy !req
444. That's why we're up here, you know.
I know.Copy !req
445. That's the point of this trip,
to be in the woods.Copy !req
446. The men, the guys, together.Copy !req
447. Rugged, manly, all that stuff.
The full nine yards.Copy !req
448. Exactly.
All right?Copy !req
449. Right.Copy !req
450. Give me a hug.
What?Copy !req
451. Give me a hug, will you?
Come on.
Dad...Copy !req
452. I'm too old for hugs.Copy !req
453. You're never too old for hugs.Copy !req
454. Can I go now?
Thank you very much. Thank you.
Go, go, go.Copy !req
455. If you meet any friends, bring them back.
We'll give them a ride in Suck My Wake.Copy !req
456. God! Great.Copy !req
457. You've got it in neutral!Copy !req
458. It's okay.Copy !req
459. It's in neutral.
You gotta put it...Copy !req
460. Okay.
Dad, I'll figure it out.
Just give me the skis already.Copy !req
461. I'm sorry, I forgot.
You're a professional skier already.Copy !req
462. You don't need any notes on this, huh?Copy !req
463. You don't need any help
from somebody who might know
a little something about skiing, huh?Copy !req
464. We're gonna go over it
one more time, okay?
Fine.Copy !req
465. - Come on, this is important, Ben.
- Okay!Copy !req
466. What are we doing sitting here?Copy !req
467. You know, he's teaching the kid,
giving him lessons.
Wants Benny to be safe.Copy !req
468. Lean back. There you go.
Doesn't that feel better?Copy !req
469. Yeah.Copy !req
470. There you go.
Okay, we're leaning back.
Okay, now there's trouble.Copy !req
471. What?
There's some trouble.Copy !req
472. Come on, Ben,
what are we gonna do?Copy !req
473. Let go of the rope.Copy !req
474. How many times
have I told you?Copy !req
475. Let go of the rope.
If you're in trouble,
let go of the rope.Copy !req
476. Remember, go loose when you fall.
Just go loose.Copy !req
477. - What is he doing?
- I don't know.Copy !req
478. I don't know, he's shaking.
Some kind of a new dance
or something.Copy !req
479. - Okay, hold this. Thanks, Dad.
- Fix your vest up.Copy !req
480. Are we gonna ski or what?Copy !req
481. I can't tell you...Copy !req
482. how important this is.Copy !req
483. Let's go! Ski or flee.Copy !req
484. Honey, he's waving.Copy !req
485. Ah, he's going. All right.Copy !req
486. Whoa!Copy !req
487. Hey, Dad, let go of the rope!Copy !req
488. Help me, for God's sake!Copy !req
489. Holy shit!Copy !req
490. Oh, no!Copy !req
491. Wow!Copy !req
492. Whoa!Copy !req
493. You bastard!Copy !req
494. Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
495. Whoa!Copy !req
496. You bastard, Roman!Copy !req
497. What's he saying?Copy !req
498. You bastard!Copy !req
499. What's he saying?
"Faster."Copy !req
500. Go faster!Copy !req
501. Hi!Copy !req
502. Roman, what the hell
are you doing?Copy !req
503. I love to see him relaxing.Copy !req
504. I'm dead! I'm dead!
I'm dead! I'm dead!Copy !req
505. I'm dead!
I'm dying! I'm dying!Copy !req
506. I'm dying!Copy !req
507. I'm alive. I'm alive.
Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!Copy !req
508. Ah, no!Copy !req
509. What are you doing?Copy !req
510. What's it look like I'm doing?Copy !req
511. I am not taking any more
of Roman's crap.Copy !req
512. If you like him, you stay with him,
'cause I'm through. I'm out of here.Copy !req
513. Wait a minute. Wait a minute.
What happened that got you so crazy?Copy !req
514. "What happened?"
Come on! "What happened?"
Yeah.Copy !req
515. How about Roman dragging me
all over the goddamn lake?
How about that for starters, huh?Copy !req
516. Not bad, huh?Copy !req
517. Have you seen my ass lately?
No, not recently.Copy !req
518. Well, I'll be picking splinters out of it
from now until the day I die!Copy !req
519. Oh, honey, come on.Copy !req
520. Oh, you find that funny?
Yeah, that was hysterical, wasn't it?Copy !req
521. No, it wasn't really funny,
but because I love you, it was.Copy !req
522. God. Thanks a lot!Copy !req
523. What about the kids?Copy !req
524. What about his kids?
Let's talk about his kids.Copy !req
525. His kids, they're spooky,
all right?Copy !req
526. I'm waiting for their heads
to rotate around
and vomit pea soup.Copy !req
527. I mean our kids.Copy !req
528. Our kids already do that.Copy !req
529. What about this father-son thing?
You're gonna leave, you're gonna pack up?Copy !req
530. Come on!Copy !req
531. The guy's driving me crazy!Copy !req
532. You're a big man. And you're a nice man.
And you're above all this.Copy !req
533. Oh, don't.
Hey, you are.Copy !req
534. Oh, come on.Copy !req
535. I know it to be true.Copy !req
536. All right, don't! Don't. Don't!Copy !req
537. Come on, I'm mad. I'm mad.Copy !req
538. All right, all right,
what are you saying?
I'm being silly?Copy !req
539. Crazy! Stop.Copy !req
540. Why do you always do this
to me, you know?Copy !req
541. I'm crazy about you. Kiss me.Copy !req
542. Do you feel better?
I do, and I'm sorry.Copy !req
543. I just feel like a little kid.
I feel a lot better.Copy !req
544. Why did you do this?
Why now? I was ready to go!Copy !req
545. Why, why, why?Copy !req
546. I was almost in the car!Copy !req
547. Now I've got to spend
a week with Roman!Copy !req
548. Come on. You're gonna have fun
from now on in, I promise you.Copy !req
549. Roman's making goat cheese pizza
and we'll take it over to the lodge.Copy !req
550. He's making what?Copy !req
551. What did you say?
Pizza?Copy !req
552. No, you didn't say pizza,
you said something else.Copy !req
553. Big man pizza.
What are you hiding?Copy !req
554. Big pizza!Copy !req
555. You don't have to hide from me.
Tell me what it is.Copy !req
556. Pizza.
You said a "goat" in there.Copy !req
557. Is he making goat pizza or something?
What is this? Hey! Come here. Connie!Copy !req
558. Roman, I got a few things
to gnaw over with you.Copy !req
559. What's going on, Wally?Copy !req
560. I found your youngsters
inside the mine perimeter.Copy !req
561. What mine?Copy !req
562. There's an old mica mine
on the other side of the property.Copy !req
563. It's full of boreholes
and sinkholes and pits,
caves, hollows.Copy !req
564. The war shut the facility down.
It's never been reopened.Copy !req
565. Anyway, the kids go there
and they yell down the holeCopy !req
566. so they can hear their voices echo.Copy !req
567. I'm not gonna tell you
what the teenagers do there.Copy !req
568. I'll bet.Copy !req
569. Tell Ripley, too, huh?
Done.Copy !req
570. Take care of them, Roman.Copy !req
571. We got a shot to see
a female Elvis impersonator
over in White WaterCopy !req
572. and you want to wish
happy birthday to a guy
you never even met?Copy !req
573. You want to go to White Water,
go to White Water.Copy !req
574. As for me,
I find it more interesting
to pay my respectsCopy !req
575. to a man who's had the courage
to live on this earth 109 years.Copy !req
576. You know, he's the oldest living man
in Canada, kids. Isn't that something?Copy !req
577. Personally, I'd rather see
a 46-inch bust singing Burning Love.Copy !req
578. Hey, Wally!
How you doing?Copy !req
579. How about a nice club soda, please?
I'm driving tonight.Copy !req
580. Nice outfit!
You're Mr. Coordinated tonight, huh?Copy !req
581. Well...
Quite the look on you.Copy !req
582. Well, the pants
are riding up the butt something fierceCopy !req
583. but I'll get by.Copy !req
584. Wally, what's the bear dump
situation like?Copy !req
585. We got a good one.Copy !req
586. Good evening, sir.
Happy birthday.Copy !req
587. He must be hard of hearing or something.Copy !req
588. Try again.Copy !req
589. Do you speak English?Copy !req
590. Our sincerest
congratulations, sir.Copy !req
591. You wishing Mr. Tompkins
a happy birthday?Copy !req
592. Yeah, Dad, about 100 times.
I don't think the guy can hear us
or something. He's deaf.Copy !req
593. How about a nice group photo, huh?
Give me your camera.
All right, everybody get in there.Copy !req
594. What do I do,
push the red button?Copy !req
595. Just the red button, Dad.Copy !req
596. - How do you focus?
- You don't focus.Copy !req
597. You don't have to focus?
You don't have to focus.
Just push the red button.Copy !req
598. Chet, I don't like them youngsters
climbing around Mr. Tompkins like that.Copy !req
599. He ain't no jungle gym.Copy !req
600. All right, girls, why don't you kiss
Mr. Tompkins on the cheek?Copy !req
601. - A nice kiss on the cheek.
- No.Copy !req
602. Come on, it's cute.Copy !req
603. What old man wouldn't like
a little girl kissing him on the cheek?Copy !req
604. A dead one.
Huh?Copy !req
605. Bill died in the car
on the way over here.Copy !req
606. Jesus, Dad!Copy !req
607. Go wash, go wash, go wash!
In the bathroom. In the bathroom.Copy !req
608. How could you do that?
I didn't do that. He did it.Copy !req
609. You're disgusting. Kids?Copy !req
610. That was a real good shot.
That was really, really good.Copy !req
611. What the hell...Copy !req
612. Hey, you gave her a world-class goose
with the pool cue, Buck.Copy !req
613. She's so cute!Copy !req
614. Violent, but yeah, cute.Copy !req
615. You got chalk right there.Copy !req
616. Look, I'll be back
in a couple of minutes, okay?Copy !req
617. What about the bear dump?Copy !req
618. Hey, it's crowded.
Hey, this is great.Copy !req
619. Yeah, Dad.Copy !req
620. See, a lot of people
are hip to this.Copy !req
621. Oh, yeah. Hey!Copy !req
622. All right.
Look at those bears!Copy !req
623. Huh? Are you scared or what?Copy !req
624. Look at the bears!Copy !req
625. They're great, Dad.
"They're great, Dad."Copy !req
626. I've got a great idea.
You're gonna see some bears.Copy !req
627. Dad.Copy !req
628. Here you go.Copy !req
629. Nice Zagnut.Copy !req
630. Yeah!Copy !req
631. Come on.Copy !req
632. Come on.Copy !req
633. Come on! More!Copy !req
634. Come on. Here's some more.Copy !req
635. Jeez. Boy, he likes those.Copy !req
636. Now we'll get some action.Copy !req
637. Whoa. Big head on him.Copy !req
638. Whoo boy!Copy !req
639. Easy, easy, easy there! Easy!Copy !req
640. Hey, come on, watch the paint job.Copy !req
641. Hey, shoo!Copy !req
642. Look at the size
of those teeth. Whoo.Copy !req
643. Jeez.Copy !req
644. Hey, shoo! Go on!Copy !req
645. Dad, I wouldn't do that.Copy !req
646. All right. You may be right.
Yeah, he's looking at us.Copy !req
647. He's not finished, that's it.
When he finishes, he'll go.Copy !req
648. He's a pretty big bear.Copy !req
649. Very big.
Yeah.Copy !req
650. Just let him eat
his candy bar.Copy !req
651. Shoo, shoo, shoo. Hi.Copy !req
652. How you doing?Copy !req
653. Whoa, jeez.Copy !req
654. Ah, jeez. All right,
all right, all right. Okay.Copy !req
655. Let me rethink this.Copy !req
656. Hey! What the hell?Copy !req
657. All right...Copy !req
658. I've... I've told you
I loved you, right?Copy !req
659. Yeah.
Good, good.Copy !req
660. What do you say
we call it a night, huh?Copy !req
661. Holy jeez.Copy !req
662. Oh, boy. Oh, boy.
We started something.Copy !req
663. Um...Copy !req
664. Let's call it an evening.Copy !req
665. Yeah, I'm tired.
Me, too. Me, too.Copy !req
666. Yeah, let's just go.Copy !req
667. That didn't scare him, Dad.Copy !req
668. I'm gonna move now.Copy !req
669. I'm moving now!Copy !req
670. All right, I'll just drive out.Copy !req
671. He'll jump right off, son.
Don't you worry.Copy !req
672. Dad, isn't it illegal
to drive with a bear
on your hood?Copy !req
673. I don't know in this state, son.
Look, I just don't...Copy !req
674. Yogi and Boo Boo in the flesh.Copy !req
675. I wish to hell Ranger Smith
would get out here and get us home.Copy !req
676. Hey, easy on the roof, pal.Copy !req
677. We should've brought
Uncle Roman's car.Copy !req
678. Knock, knock.Copy !req
679. You didn't give me
a chance to apologize.Copy !req
680. Can I sit down?Copy !req
681. I don't own the park.Copy !req
682. Oh.Copy !req
683. Look, um...Copy !req
684. I just got here. I'm from...
Chicago.Copy !req
685. How did you know?Copy !req
686. Look, it's no big trick, dude.Copy !req
687. Live all your life in this town,
it becomes like second nature.Copy !req
688. Guess this means that
I met my first local.Copy !req
689. You don't know how local I am.Copy !req
690. You know...Copy !req
691. it's... It's a really
beautiful town.Copy !req
692. I mean...
It's a hole in the earth.Copy !req
693. Look, why don't you
just save your breath?Copy !req
694. I'm not a tourist attraction.Copy !req
695. What did I do?Copy !req
696. Hey, Dad.Copy !req
697. How you doing, handsome?Copy !req
698. What are you doing
down here?Copy !req
699. Getting a breath
of night air.Copy !req
700. Hey, you wanna take
a spin in the rowboat?Copy !req
701. Right now?
Yeah, what the hell?Copy !req
702. In the dark?
We'll check out some stars.Copy !req
703. I don't know, Dad.
Come on. Let's do something.Copy !req
704. You know, we're here.
Let's go. Come on.Copy !req
705. Come on. I'll let you row.Copy !req
706. Oh, great.Copy !req
707. It'll be fun.
Yeah.Copy !req
708. Boy, what a beautiful sky!Copy !req
709. Smell that air.
Isn't that something?Copy !req
710. That's the old city
in your lungs.Copy !req
711. Get rid of that.
You're getting the good air in there now.Copy !req
712. You know, one day you're gonna be
coming up here with your kids.Copy !req
713. Yeah. Maybe.Copy !req
714. I want to give you something.Copy !req
715. Dad, you're not gonna
kiss me in the boat under the moon, are you?Copy !req
716. I'm not gonna kiss you.Copy !req
717. I'm gonna give you my ring.Copy !req
718. Why?Copy !req
719. Why? Because my father
gave it to me,Copy !req
720. and now I'm giving it to you.Copy !req
721. You're grown up now.
You deserve it.Copy !req
722. So, like...Copy !req
723. You and I coming up to the woods
is like your father bringing you here.Copy !req
724. Yeah, I guess so.Copy !req
725. Yeah. I understand.Copy !req
726. Thanks for the ring.Copy !req
727. How you doing, Cammie?Copy !req
728. Can I help you?Copy !req
729. I don't know.
What's the house specialty?Copy !req
730. Where am I supposed
to put the tray?Copy !req
731. Well, from the way
you spoke to me last night,Copy !req
732. I'm sure you can think
of a hundred good places.Copy !req
733. I'm sorry about that.
I was in kind of a bad mood, okay?Copy !req
734. Don't worry about it.
It happens to me all the time. It's no big deal.Copy !req
735. But that doesn't mean
I didn't mean what I said.
For the most part, it's true.Copy !req
736. Wait. You don't even know me.Copy !req
737. How can you say that's true of me?Copy !req
738. It's a safe assumption.Copy !req
739. Excuse me. Can we
get some service over here?Copy !req
740. Yeah, I'll be right there. Just a sec.
Look, I gotta go. Okay?Copy !req
741. What time do you finish work?Copy !req
742. 8:00.Copy !req
743. 8:00?Copy !req
744. And where are you gonna be
after work at 8:00?Copy !req
745. I'll be around.Copy !req
746. Can I see you?Copy !req
747. Yeah, if you can find me.Copy !req
748. I got you! I got you!Copy !req
749. Oh!Copy !req
750. Come on, Chet.
Better ride up here.Copy !req
751. If you trail behind,
the Indians will get you.Copy !req
752. - Come on, honey.
- Uncle Roman, wait for Dad.Copy !req
753. Dad, hurry up.Copy !req
754. Oh, boy.Copy !req
755. Watch out
for those Wisconsin rattlers or wild boar.Copy !req
756. Honey, come on!
Whoa. Whoa.Copy !req
757. Wait up, you guys.Copy !req
758. Hey, come on. Whoa! Hey, ow!Copy !req
759. Easy. All right.
Okay, have it your way.Copy !req
760. I'll just get off.Copy !req
761. Here we go. You all right?Copy !req
762. Okay, let's go. We'll walk it.Copy !req
763. Come on. Come on! Let's...Copy !req
764. Hey. Easy, easy.
Now, let's just walk back to the stable.Copy !req
765. All right?
I'm walking, you're walking.Copy !req
766. Let's have a nice easy walk.
Come on.Copy !req
767. All right. All right.
That was your last chance.Copy !req
768. That's it. Have it your way.Copy !req
769. I don't wanna do this,
but you forced me to.
Remember that.Copy !req
770. I hate to do this to you.Copy !req
771. Normally, I'm not
a mean person, but I'm a...Copy !req
772. Hey! Come back here!
Son of a bitch!Copy !req
773. I tell you that baby I was riding
was a purebred. Purebred mule horse.Copy !req
774. You rode it like it was.Copy !req
775. Hey, I'm telling you,
that baby was bred for packing.Copy !req
776. Honey, you're a stud.
You look great on that horse.Copy !req
777. - Here he comes.
- Where's our pal? Where is he?Copy !req
778. Oh, my gosh! Hi, honey.Copy !req
779. He lost his mount.
Hey, how you doing there, trooper?Copy !req
780. Where's that ball-slapping
nag you were riding?Copy !req
781. He looks a little
worse for wear, doesn't he?Copy !req
782. You okay, Dad?Copy !req
783. I'm okay.
Did that horse buck you off?Copy !req
784. What happened?Copy !req
785. You got hungry
and had to eat the nag, huh?Copy !req
786. Let's go home.
I think I'll go home.
You go home?Copy !req
787. Home? We've got a whole day
of activities planned.
A little nap.Copy !req
788. No, come on!
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
789. I'm fine. A little nap.
Ah, come on. Hey!Copy !req
790. Yeah, I know muskie's
the big-deal fish up in these waters,Copy !req
791. but you come with me
up to the Norfolk Canyon
off the coast of Virginia,Copy !req
792. I'll strap you into a fishing chairCopy !req
793. and let you hook into
a 1,000-pound blue marlin.Copy !req
794. Buddy, you're gonna know
what fishing's all about with a capital "F".Copy !req
795. You'll have to excuse my brother-in-law.Copy !req
796. He gets a couple cocktails into him,
he becomes an expert on everything.Copy !req
797. I don't need cocktails for that.
Was that a shot?Copy !req
798. No, that was the truth.Copy !req
799. That was a shot!Copy !req
800. That was a shot.Copy !req
801. Speaking of shots, set us up.Copy !req
802. This guy's a riot.Copy !req
803. Isn't he, though?
Everybody loves him, right?Copy !req
804. Oh, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
805. By the way, Herm, you make
a lot of tips on this job?Copy !req
806. Well, I do all right.Copy !req
807. Who's handling your investments?Copy !req
808. My wife's got some egg money
put aside.Copy !req
809. But she's a real bear.
Won't give it up to me.Copy !req
810. Yeah. Well, I'll take her phone number.
I'll change that.Copy !req
811. Believe me, that's what I do for a living.Copy !req
812. Investments is what I do!Copy !req
813. How you doing?Copy !req
814. Well, it ain't raining.Copy !req
815. It ain't raining so that's good.Copy !req
816. Yeah, I guess so.Copy !req
817. You fellows met Reg?Copy !req
818. I don't think so. How you doing?Copy !req
819. Roman Craig.
Pleased to meet you.Copy !req
820. Chet Ripley. How do you do?Copy !req
821. That's quite a hairdo
you got going there, Reg.Copy !req
822. That a neo-skunk thing or...
Roman, what are you...Copy !req
823. He's got the hair.
You don't have to say anything.Copy !req
824. His hair turned white
'cause lightning hit him.Copy !req
825. He's been struck by lightning,
how many times is it now, Reg?Copy !req
826. Six.Copy !req
827. Six times!Copy !req
828. Sixty-six timesCopy !req
829. in the head!Copy !req
830. Sixty-six times!Copy !req
831. God! That's gotta hurt!Copy !req
832. You'll never meet a guy
more tuned into the barometric
pressure than Reg is.Copy !req
833. Yeah.Copy !req
834. You see him running like hell
for home, you head for cover.Copy !req
835. Right, Reg?Copy !req
836. Hey, buddy, you pay for the drinks.
I gotta go to the john. I'll be right back.Copy !req
837. Gonna introduce Mr. Thick Dick
to Mr. Urinal Cake.Copy !req
838. Aw, jeez, Roman, do you have to be...Copy !req
839. What I really want to say
is thank you.Copy !req
840. This is very important to Roman and me.
I miss you, Connie.Copy !req
841. Oh, honey.Copy !req
842. It's so lonely being wealthy.Copy !req
843. I wouldn't know about that.Copy !req
844. No, no, I mean it, honey!
I mean it. It is lonely.Copy !req
845. He works terrible hours. Travels.Copy !req
846. There'll be times we'll go a month
without going to bed together.Copy !req
847. Really, a month? That long?Copy !req
848. Mmm-hmm. Sometimes I think
the only way I'll get any pleasureCopy !req
849. is by leaning against the washer
during the spin cycle.Copy !req
850. Does that really work?Copy !req
851. Have you ever seen
whiter whites?Copy !req
852. When do you go back
to Chicago?Copy !req
853. Um, three days.Copy !req
854. You know, I've never had a boyfriend
for longer than two weeks.Copy !req
855. Get out of here.Copy !req
856. That's why I was such a bitch
to you that first night.Copy !req
857. No, you weren't a bitch.Copy !req
858. Yes, yes, I was.Copy !req
859. It's no big deal.
Don't worry about it.Copy !req
860. That's why I don't understand
what I'm doing here with you.Copy !req
861. Look, I've never even
had a girlfriend.Copy !req
862. I mean, I've dated girls, but, you know,Copy !req
863. I never had one
I'd call my girlfriend.Copy !req
864. What would you call me?Copy !req
865. Officially?Copy !req
866. Ahem. Girlfriend?Copy !req
867. And you're leaving in three days.Copy !req
868. See what I mean?
Yeah.Copy !req
869. Well?Copy !req
870. Well what?Copy !req
871. What, what, what, what?Copy !req
872. It touched me!Copy !req
873. It's been touching you for 12 years!
You never freaked!Copy !req
874. - Not you!
- What?Copy !req
875. - A thing!
- What thing?Copy !req
876. What's going on, for God sakes?
What is it? What is it? What is it?Copy !req
877. That thing!Copy !req
878. It's just a little sparrow.Copy !req
879. Come on, Roman, it's got ears!Copy !req
880. Jesus Marie! It's a tiny flying mouse,
not a grizzly bear.Copy !req
881. I am not going back in there
until you get it out.Copy !req
882. All right. We'll get it out.
We'll get it out. Chet?
What?Copy !req
883. Run down to the shed,
get a shovel.Copy !req
884. Go in there
and get that radar-guided vermin.Copy !req
885. Yeah.Copy !req
886. Why me?Copy !req
887. Well, it's your cabin.
We didn't order one with bats.Copy !req
888. Well, you stay here too, you know.
You're the host.Copy !req
889. So, what?
Stop fighting and go, go, go kill it.Copy !req
890. I don't think we have to kill it, mom.Copy !req
891. Kill it!
No, Ben, it didn't do anything.Copy !req
892. It attacked me.Copy !req
893. Okay, he's wimping out.
I'll have to take care of it.Copy !req
894. I am not wimping, all right?
I'm just thinking, that's all.Copy !req
895. There's a big difference
between wimping and thinking.Copy !req
896. You want me to take care of the thing,
I'll take care of the thing.Copy !req
897. I was just wondering
who was gonna do it. I'll do it. I'll do it.Copy !req
898. I'll take care of it.Copy !req
899. Like to get some sleep.
That's what I'd like to do.Copy !req
900. Afraid of a little bat.Copy !req
901. So?Copy !req
902. It buzzed me.Copy !req
903. We need a plan.
It's bigger than I thought.
It's about a two-pounder.Copy !req
904. Two-pounder?
Yeah, big wings.Copy !req
905. Wow.Copy !req
906. It's got the teeth.
Terrible. It's frightening.Copy !req
907. Wow.Copy !req
908. I think we have to...
We have to do something.Copy !req
909. What we need, Roman, big plan, big plan.
That's what we need.Copy !req
910. We'll have this
little baby squealing mayday
by midnight.Copy !req
911. All right. Let's split up.Copy !req
912. Do you see him?
He's hiding.Copy !req
913. I know that.
Turn out the lights.Copy !req
914. Why?
He's nocturnal.Copy !req
915. He'll think
it's daytime like this.Copy !req
916. Good point.Copy !req
917. Now we got him.Copy !req
918. Come on, you little
sonar-guided rodent.Copy !req
919. Connie, bats carry rabies,
don't they?Copy !req
920. Yeah, among other things.
What? Do they?Copy !req
921. I'm gonna call him.
I'm gonna call him now.Copy !req
922. Okay, okay, just be still.Copy !req
923. All right.Copy !req
924. Are you kissing him
or are you calling him?Copy !req
925. No, I'm calling him down.Copy !req
926. That's just the sound they make.
The high-pitched squeal.Copy !req
927. Okay, okay.Copy !req
928. Right there. Right there, Dad.
Look up! Look up!Copy !req
929. Oh, no.
Oh.Copy !req
930. I got him!Copy !req
931. Think fast! Think fast!Copy !req
932. Get the light on him.
Get the light on him.Copy !req
933. Dad, keep your eye
on the bat, okay?Copy !req
934. Look at that thing move!Copy !req
935. Christ almighty!
Oh, jeez, my head!Copy !req
936. Oh, my head.Copy !req
937. Where is he? Where is he?Copy !req
938. I don't know.
He's in the rafters.
He's refueling!Copy !req
939. Where are you? Where are you?Copy !req
940. Right here!Copy !req
941. He's on my face! He's on my face!Copy !req
942. Hold still!Copy !req
943. Honey.Copy !req
944. We got it!Copy !req
945. We got it!Copy !req
946. Oh, the pain.Copy !req
947. Chet, we got it.Copy !req
948. Ooh, that had to hurt.Copy !req
949. What a fighter.Copy !req
950. Boy, he was something!
I salute him!Copy !req
951. But we gotta get some sleep.Copy !req
952. Hey.Copy !req
953. Glad to see you.
Yeah.Copy !req
954. What time do you get off work tonight?Copy !req
955. 8:00.Copy !req
956. Great, I'll meet you at 9.00.Copy !req
957. Okay. Where?Copy !req
958. I don't know.
You're the one who lives here.Copy !req
959. Um, the bait shop?Copy !req
960. Sure.Copy !req
961. I'll buy you some worms.Copy !req
962. You won't ditch me?Copy !req
963. Wait a second.
Why would I ditch you?Copy !req
964. I don't know.
I'm waiting for it to happen.Copy !req
965. Look, if I ditch you,Copy !req
966. you have my permission
never to speak to me
as long as we both shall live.Copy !req
967. Promise?
Promise.Copy !req
968. I got to go.Copy !req
969. See you later.Copy !req
970. Bye.Copy !req
971. Yeah. That should do it. Yeah.Copy !req
972. I think that's a good idea.Copy !req
973. All right. I'll have the Royal Canadian
Mounted beef barley soup.Copy !req
974. Ooh! Yeah.
Yeah.Copy !req
975. And then that bucket of salad.Copy !req
976. Oh, I'll split that with you.Copy !req
977. You will?
Yeah.Copy !req
978. All right, do that.
That would help.Copy !req
979. And then the...Copy !req
980. I guess the medley of perch.Copy !req
981. That's my favorite.Copy !req
982. - Okay.
- Miss?Copy !req
983. What's the Old '96er?Copy !req
984. Oh, that's our world-famous
Paul Bunyan's Blue Ox Steak.Copy !req
985. It is a 96-ounce
prime-aged beef steak.Copy !req
986. And if you or any member
of your party orders the Old '96er
and finishes,Copy !req
987. everybody eats for free.Copy !req
988. Not bad, huh?Copy !req
989. Want to go for it, girls?Copy !req
990. Oh, Roman.Copy !req
991. How about you, Chet?Copy !req
992. People seem to like that.Copy !req
993. I'll try it. What the heck.
Okay, great.Copy !req
994. Yeah, it sounds good.Copy !req
995. Seriously, though,
has anybody ever eaten one?Copy !req
996. Oh, no. No. Not in my lifetime, no.Copy !req
997. Bon appétit.Copy !req
998. Oh, good God.Copy !req
999. - Look at that.
- Check it out.Copy !req
1000. How is he?Copy !req
1001. Mmm.
Huh?Copy !req
1002. That's good. Processing nicely.
Processing very, very good.Copy !req
1003. All right, continue.Copy !req
1004. All right.Copy !req
1005. I did it.Copy !req
1006. I think that just about does it.Copy !req
1007. He's not done yet.Copy !req
1008. Well, he may take a little while
with that last bite,
but it'll go down.Copy !req
1009. That ain't the last bite.Copy !req
1010. Well, sure it is.
There's nothing on that plate
but gristle and fat.Copy !req
1011. Oh, God, no.Copy !req
1012. No problem.Copy !req
1013. Listen, if can I get a dessert down him,Copy !req
1014. you think you could throw in
a couple of Paul Bunyan hats
for the kids?Copy !req
1015. Mind if I go now?Copy !req
1016. They'll be telling
their grandkids about this.Copy !req
1017. Oh, boy! What a night, huh?Copy !req
1018. Okay, but don't be too late.Copy !req
1019. Where's he going?Copy !req
1020. That Jimbo's not a bad guy.
I just had a word with him.
Here's the kicker.Copy !req
1021. Shit!Copy !req
1022. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1023. Oh, jeez.Copy !req
1024. Look at the size
of the maggots on that meat.Copy !req
1025. Oh, honey.Copy !req
1026. Oh!Copy !req
1027. Oh, my God.
Honey.Copy !req
1028. Let's go, everybody,
move it out. It's 5 a.m.Copy !req
1029. Fishing boat's shoving off in 15 minutes.Copy !req
1030. These are the biggest worms
I've ever encountered.Copy !req
1031. They're not worms,
they're leeches.Copy !req
1032. Jesus!
I am not touching leeches, Dad.
No way.Copy !req
1033. Cut it out, will you?
They don't bite.Copy !req
1034. No. They suck blood.Copy !req
1035. Ow! Would you watch the hook?Copy !req
1036. Dad, that's my hook.Copy !req
1037. Where's the bins?
Where's the flashlights?Copy !req
1038. I don't know.
Right over there, behind you.Copy !req
1039. You owe me big for this one.Copy !req
1040. Oh!Copy !req
1041. Very funny, very funny.
Gimme a leech, will you?Copy !req
1042. Ugh, sick, God.Copy !req
1043. Has everybody
got their leech?Copy !req
1044. Yeah.Copy !req
1045. Okay. All right.
On the count of three,
insert your hook. Ready?Copy !req
1046. One, two, three.Copy !req
1047. Oh, God!Copy !req
1048. May I speak with Cammie, please?Copy !req
1049. Oh, yeah, hold on just a minute.Copy !req
1050. Cammie, phone.Copy !req
1051. Okay. Cammie's really busy
waiting on cars right now.
May I take a message?Copy !req
1052. All right.
Just please tell her that Buck called.Copy !req
1053. Okay, fine, Buck.
Goodbye.Copy !req
1054. Now what are you up to?Copy !req
1055. What does it look like I'm up to?Copy !req
1056. It looks like you're wanking your crank.Copy !req
1057. I'm trying to build a fire, all right?Copy !req
1058. You might as well
pour ice cubes in there.Copy !req
1059. You'll never get a fire going that way.Copy !req
1060. You don't crumple a newspaper up.
You twist it. Twist it.Copy !req
1061. Lengthwise to simulate kindling.Copy !req
1062. That's the way you get it going.Copy !req
1063. Maybe, Roman, just maybeCopy !req
1064. I'm trying to
heat up the flue.Copy !req
1065. Oh, he's heating the flue.Copy !req
1066. Meanwhile the human beings
in the room are freezing to death.Copy !req
1067. I'm really not cold. Not at all.Copy !req
1068. Oh, thank you for sharing that.
Thank you.Copy !req
1069. I'm so sorry, Roman.
Forgive me.Copy !req
1070. Why don't you come over here
and show me how to do it?Copy !req
1071. You talk a great game.Copy !req
1072. Come over. Let's see a little action.
After all, you know everything.Copy !req
1073. You know exactly what to do
at any given moment.Copy !req
1074. Katie, you were absolutely right.Copy !req
1075. We should have gone to Europe.
Or maybe even Haiti, or Antarctica.Copy !req
1076. Or the Dead Sea.
Would've had a lot more fun!Copy !req
1077. Is that a fact?Copy !req
1078. Well, nobody forced you
to come up here, buddy boy.Copy !req
1079. As a matter of fact, I don't remember
anybody inviting you up here.Copy !req
1080. Do you remember
inviting him?Copy !req
1081. I sure as hell don't.Copy !req
1082. And what exactly is that
statement supposed to mean?Copy !req
1083. You figure it out for yourself.Copy !req
1084. No, no, no, you specify,
you clarify it for me. All right?Copy !req
1085. Just as a common courtesy,
if you don't mind.Copy !req
1086. You know damn well what he means.Copy !req
1087. I think they're trying to say
that we're not welcome.Copy !req
1088. Aha! What did I hear?Copy !req
1089. We've got a bingo!Copy !req
1090. You did figure it out, Kate.Copy !req
1091. So, now it's all starting to ooze out.
It's very interesting, isn't it, Katie?Copy !req
1092. Yeah, very.Copy !req
1093. Especially since we threw aside our plans.Copy !req
1094. And we had a great European
vacation planned.Copy !req
1095. Threw aside our plans
to come up here,Copy !req
1096. to show these dead asses
how to start to learn to have a good time.Copy !req
1097. Thanks for ruining
my vacation, Ripley.Copy !req
1098. What was that?Copy !req
1099. Ruining your vacation?
Is that what you said?Copy !req
1100. Oh, come on.Copy !req
1101. I don't believe...
I don't believe I heard you say that.Copy !req
1102. You'd better believe it!Copy !req
1103. Don't push it, Roman!Copy !req
1104. You ain't even
seen pushing yet!Copy !req
1105. You know the trouble with you, Ripley?Copy !req
1106. You wouldn't know a good timeCopy !req
1107. if it fell out of the sky,
landed on your face
and started to wiggle.Copy !req
1108. Oh, you have an awful lot of nerve, Roman.
A lot of nerve.Copy !req
1109. It's served me well.
I'm the one with the Mercedes.Copy !req
1110. Ooh! Ah!Copy !req
1111. By the way, is it paid for?Copy !req
1112. Are you jealous, Chester?Copy !req
1113. Don't call me Chester!Copy !req
1114. Call me that one more time,
you're gonna go home
with a dent in your forehead.Copy !req
1115. Yeah!
That'll be the day.Copy !req
1116. Would you like one to match his?Copy !req
1117. Hey, take your hands off her!
You wanna go right now?Copy !req
1118. Dad, Dad, Dad,
no one's denting anybody.Copy !req
1119. Thanks, Bucky.Copy !req
1120. Oh, bite the big one, Uncle Roman!Copy !req
1121. Hey, don't talk to adults that way!Copy !req
1122. Why not?
Because it's rude.Copy !req
1123. Oh, blow it out your ass.Copy !req
1124. Roman, why don't we just get out of here?
Come on, honey.Copy !req
1125. Come on, girls, let's go.
Very good idea.Copy !req
1126. Well, it's the first good idea
you've had since you've been here.Copy !req
1127. And by the way,
don't steal any of our stuff.Copy !req
1128. What stuff is there to steal?Copy !req
1129. We've got stuff!Copy !req
1130. You're a louse!Copy !req
1131. Oh! Well, go find yourself
a spin cycle.Copy !req
1132. Yeah, go find yourself
a spin cycle.Copy !req
1133. What the hell is that supposed to mean?
Never mind, honey.Copy !req
1134. All right, calm down,
calm down.Copy !req
1135. Okay.Copy !req
1136. Dad?Copy !req
1137. Yes, Ben?Copy !req
1138. Does this mean
we won't get a Christmas present
from Uncle Roman?Copy !req
1139. Oh, blow it out your ass, Ben!Copy !req
1140. Okay, okay, okay.
Nobody's blowing anything
out their ass. Okay?Copy !req
1141. What we're having here
is a little problem.Copy !req
1142. And your father and I...Copy !req
1143. It does not mean
we don't love Uncle Roman and Aunt Kate.Copy !req
1144. It just means that
we are having some emotions.Copy !req
1145. What it means...Copy !req
1146. What it means is I would like to blow
Uncle Roman out my ass!Copy !req
1147. That's what it means.Copy !req
1148. I don't want to hear anymore
about anyone blowing anything
out their ass.Copy !req
1149. You might as well blow
the whole family out your ass
while you're at it, Dad.Copy !req
1150. Ben, do you understand
what's going on here, son, huh?Copy !req
1151. Do you understand what your mother
and I are trying to say?Copy !req
1152. Aunt Kate and Uncle Roman
are incredible butt heads. Right?Copy !req
1153. Exactly.Copy !req
1154. All right, troops, mount up.
We're ready to roll.Copy !req
1155. You all packed?Copy !req
1156. Actually, I just took a moment
to think things over.Copy !req
1157. And I'm gonna tell you something
I had previously decided not to.Copy !req
1158. I came up here for a reason.Copy !req
1159. Chet, I came up here to talk
to you about an investment.Copy !req
1160. In fact, I'll be quite honest.
I came up to solicit $25,000 from you.Copy !req
1161. I knew it. I knew it. I knew it.Copy !req
1162. Hey, look.Copy !req
1163. A unique investment opportunity
came my way.Copy !req
1164. I'm sitting in the office
trying to figure out a short listCopy !req
1165. of the people I'm gonna bless
with this opportunity,
and I say bless,Copy !req
1166. because this is so good and so sure,
it should be illegal.Copy !req
1167. And it probably is.Copy !req
1168. Well, it's not.Copy !req
1169. It's inside,
but it's not illegal.Copy !req
1170. Well, the upside is phenomenal,
the downside is zip.Copy !req
1171. As I was sitting there
thinking about peopleCopy !req
1172. I might want to involve in this venture,
well, your name came up.Copy !req
1173. Why?Copy !req
1174. Because you are blood.
You're family.Copy !req
1175. If a guy can't help his family,
what the hell good is he?Copy !req
1176. The fact of the matter is, Chet,Copy !req
1177. I came up here to offer you
a chance to make some really big money.Copy !req
1178. Well, it's funny
you didn't mention this before.Copy !req
1179. You didn't want to talk about money!Copy !req
1180. Oh, baloney!Copy !req
1181. Hey, look,
I was picking my moment.Copy !req
1182. You were picking your nose.Copy !req
1183. Now, there's no mystery here, Chet.
I know how you really feel about me.Copy !req
1184. Do you?
Yep.Copy !req
1185. And I knew that
if I was ever to give you something,Copy !req
1186. that you'd figure
there'd be strings attached.Copy !req
1187. Is that a fact?Copy !req
1188. Yeah, that's a fact.Copy !req
1189. At our wedding,Copy !req
1190. you were in the john
with Kate and Connie's dad.Copy !req
1191. You were talking.Copy !req
1192. Do you happen to remember
the substance of that conversation?Copy !req
1193. No, I don't.Copy !req
1194. Yeah? Well, I do.Copy !req
1195. It's one I'll never forget.Copy !req
1196. Because I heard you say,
and I quote,Copy !req
1197. "That Roman Craig
is a crooked son of a bitch."Copy !req
1198. The next time you stab
somebody in the back, Chester,Copy !req
1199. you better check
under the stalls for feet.Copy !req
1200. You know, you may think I'm made
out of armor and nails, man,Copy !req
1201. but I'm just like
any other human being.Copy !req
1202. And when I get cut, it hurts.
And that cut me.Copy !req
1203. And I hurt.Copy !req
1204. Roman, I'm...Copy !req
1205. I'm sorry. I...Copy !req
1206. I had a lot to drink that night.Copy !req
1207. And I really don't remember saying that.
But if you said I did,Copy !req
1208. thenCopy !req
1209. I must have.Copy !req
1210. I apologize to you both.
It was a terrible thing to say.Copy !req
1211. Look, I don't hold grudges
and I don't have any hard feelings.Copy !req
1212. To show you I'm the kind of guy
that can forgive and forget,Copy !req
1213. well, I'd still like to offer you
a piece of that investment.Copy !req
1214. You're sweet.Copy !req
1215. I don't know what to say,
Roman. I... I...Copy !req
1216. I feel like a real idiot.Copy !req
1217. What exactly is
this thing again?Copy !req
1218. That's $25,000.
What's your cash position?Copy !req
1219. It isn't $25,000.
That's an awful lot of money.Copy !req
1220. Well, can you get it?Copy !req
1221. No.Copy !req
1222. I think
I can make an arrangement or twoCopy !req
1223. at the bank on Monday,
if that's okay.Copy !req
1224. Hey, look,
now, whatever you want to do.Copy !req
1225. You can write a check now
for as much as you can cover.Copy !req
1226. I'll make up the difference,
and we'll square it away on Monday.Copy !req
1227. If that's okay with...Copy !req
1228. Is your checkbook in the purse?Copy !req
1229. Yeah.Copy !req
1230. Great. Okay.
Then that's fine.Copy !req
1231. Bye.
Goodbye.Copy !req
1232. Well, I think it's a real testament
to the strength of the familyCopy !req
1233. that we can disagree
so vehemently,Copy !req
1234. and get on each other's nerves
so badly over the past week,Copy !req
1235. and still part on good terms.Copy !req
1236. Absolutely.Copy !req
1237. After all the disagreements
that you and Chet had,Copy !req
1238. you still thought to include him
in that investment.Copy !req
1239. And, you know, I thought
it was a wonderful moment
of trust on his partCopy !req
1240. that he wrote you that check.Copy !req
1241. That's a lot of money for him.Copy !req
1242. From what I gathered from Connie,
it's probably half a year's salary.Copy !req
1243. I wouldn't be surprised if that
was Ben and Buck's college money.Copy !req
1244. You know, you have a knack with money,Copy !req
1245. and I think it's great
that you're sharing it with him,Copy !req
1246. and I think it's great
that he accepted your offer.Copy !req
1247. That he trusts you
with his financial well-being.Copy !req
1248. Oh, I hope this investment
really works out for them.Copy !req
1249. I gotta go back.Copy !req
1250. What, did you forget something?Copy !req
1251. Honey, you're scaring me.
Are you all right?Copy !req
1252. I'll be all right
once I settle this.Copy !req
1253. Roman,
what are you doing?Copy !req
1254. Katie, sit down.
What?Copy !req
1255. Katie, you'll need to sit down
to hear what I have to say.Copy !req
1256. Oh, gee, it's wet!Copy !req
1257. Hurry up!Copy !req
1258. Let's go.Copy !req
1259. Chet, I'm gonna level with you.Copy !req
1260. I'm a phony. I'm a fraud. I'm a fake.Copy !req
1261. From my $15 imitation Bally slip-ons
to our replicated Rolexes.Copy !req
1262. We're broke, we're bankrupt,
we're busted.Copy !req
1263. We're busted?Copy !req
1264. We were living well, right?
Well beyond our means.Copy !req
1265. I'm full of shit, Chet.
I haven't been trading in over two years.Copy !req
1266. This deal came up. It looked good.
I got overextended,Copy !req
1267. couldn't meet my calls.
I lost my seat on the exchange.Copy !req
1268. I go to work every morning.Copy !req
1269. But now I wear a blue runner's jacket
and fetch coffee.Copy !req
1270. I lost everything.Copy !req
1271. Why didn't you tell me?
Did you think that I wouldn't understand?Copy !req
1272. Baby, I knew you'd understand.Copy !req
1273. I also knew you wouldn't
let me come up here
and put the bite on Connie and Chet.Copy !req
1274. It was my only last hope.Copy !req
1275. Now, look, Roman.Copy !req
1276. Now, you know I never
turn my back on family.Copy !req
1277. I know.
That's why I came up here.Copy !req
1278. And by the way, that story
about you and your brother
in the can at the wedding?Copy !req
1279. I made it up.Copy !req
1280. You what?Copy !req
1281. You made it up?Copy !req
1282. All right, all right.
I got it, I got it.Copy !req
1283. Oh!Copy !req
1284. Oh, jeez!Copy !req
1285. Whoo!Copy !req
1286. Oh.Copy !req
1287. Oh, what happened?Copy !req
1288. Power's out!Copy !req
1289. Where's the flashlight?Copy !req
1290. Chet?Copy !req
1291. What happened
to the lights, Dad?Copy !req
1292. You kids been fooling around
with the flashlight?Copy !req
1293. Look at this.
$110 for a lighter.Copy !req
1294. It doesn't even work.Copy !req
1295. Seventy-nine cents.Copy !req
1296. Whoa! Hot! Ow!Copy !req
1297. Boy, I haven't seen weather
like this for years.Copy !req
1298. Roman, where are the girls?Copy !req
1299. Have you seen them?Copy !req
1300. Have you seen them?
No.Copy !req
1301. All right, spread out.
Let's look for them.
Let's all just...Copy !req
1302. They're hiding under a bed or something.Copy !req
1303. Come on, it's this way.Copy !req
1304. No, it's this way.
I remember.Copy !req
1305. Look for a big hole.Copy !req
1306. We'll find them, Katie.
We'll find them.Copy !req
1307. They're gonna be all right.Copy !req
1308. They'll be okay.
Don't worry about a thing.Copy !req
1309. I want you boys to stay here
and look after your mother and your aunt.
All right?Copy !req
1310. We'll help you.Copy !req
1311. Don't give me any lip, okay?
There's too much lightning
going on out there.Copy !req
1312. Here's the fence.
Here's the fence.Copy !req
1313. Hey, wait for me!Copy !req
1314. Cara! Mara!Copy !req
1315. Try this way.
Okay.Copy !req
1316. Oh, there we go.
There we go.Copy !req
1317. There we go.Copy !req
1318. Great.Copy !req
1319. I can't see anything.Copy !req
1320. Oh, neat!Copy !req
1321. No, I found it.
I wanna go first.Copy !req
1322. No, I wanna! I wanna!Copy !req
1323. Hello?Copy !req
1324. Hello?Copy !req
1325. Cara!Copy !req
1326. Mara! Girls!Copy !req
1327. Cara! Mara!Copy !req
1328. Girls! Cara! Mara!Copy !req
1329. Cara! Mara!Copy !req
1330. Help! Help!Copy !req
1331. Put your light up there.Copy !req
1332. There!Copy !req
1333. Girls! Girls, is that you?Copy !req
1334. Girls!Copy !req
1335. It's your Uncle Chet.
Are you all right?Copy !req
1336. Help!Copy !req
1337. We'll be right down. Go on.Copy !req
1338. Not me.
What?Copy !req
1339. I'm claustrophobic.
I get in a closed-up space
and I lock up.Copy !req
1340. What if I lose it?
You won't lose it.Copy !req
1341. What if I blow it?
What are we gonna do?
We gotta get some help.Copy !req
1342. We don't have time.
You can do it.Copy !req
1343. Roman, they're your children.
Be their father, for God sakes.Copy !req
1344. For the first time
in your life, be their father!Copy !req
1345. Now, come on.
Get in there and help your kids.Copy !req
1346. Girls, your dad will be right down.
Daddy's coming.Copy !req
1347. Let's go. Let's go.
You can do it. You can do it.Copy !req
1348. All right.
Okay, come on.Copy !req
1349. There you go.Copy !req
1350. I'm gonna go get a light
and some rope. Okay?Copy !req
1351. Are you all right?
Yeah.Copy !req
1352. Take it easy.Copy !req
1353. Don't think about anything
like tight places.Copy !req
1354. Like a submarine
or a coffin or anything.Copy !req
1355. Come back.
I'll be back.Copy !req
1356. You come back!Copy !req
1357. Oh, my little sweeties!Copy !req
1358. Oh!Copy !req
1359. Oh! I love you. I love you.Copy !req
1360. Chet! Chet, they're all right!Copy !req
1361. "Apollo unicel..."Copy !req
1362. It's dynamite!Copy !req
1363. It's wet, old dynamite.Copy !req
1364. It's fine. It's fine.Copy !req
1365. Chet! Chet!Copy !req
1366. Ripley!Copy !req
1367. Okay. All right,
we wanna get outta here.Copy !req
1368. It's cold, it's wet,
and you don't want to
stay here anymore, do you?Copy !req
1369. Okay, you hang onto Daddy
as tight as you can,
all right? Okay?Copy !req
1370. Damn! Come on.Copy !req
1371. Oh, oh, oh.Copy !req
1372. Big one. Big spider.
Big spider.Copy !req
1373. Okay, climb on, Cara.
Mara, get on
your sister's back.Copy !req
1374. Okay, grab hold of my jacket.Copy !req
1375. Okay, hang on, okay?
Hang on tight.Copy !req
1376. My babies.Copy !req
1377. Which way?Copy !req
1378. Hang on. We're almost there.
Almost there.Copy !req
1379. Oh, jeez, damn!Copy !req
1380. Come on.Copy !req
1381. Go, Cara, go!Copy !req
1382. Let's just go back
to the cabin.Copy !req
1383. Your mother's probably
worried sick about you.Copy !req
1384. Here we go! Okay.Copy !req
1385. Hang on. Hang on.Copy !req
1386. Roman! Girls! I'm back.Copy !req
1387. I got everything. I'm here.Copy !req
1388. I'll have you out
in a second.Copy !req
1389. Just a minute. Hold on.Copy !req
1390. I'm sorry it took so long.
I'll explain it all later.Copy !req
1391. Just a sec. Get off me!
I've got a rope.Copy !req
1392. You'll be fine.Copy !req
1393. I'm gonna tie a loop
at the end of this thing,
all right?Copy !req
1394. Then I'm gonna throw it down.Copy !req
1395. Then one at a time
I'll pull you up, okay?Copy !req
1396. Here comes the rope.Copy !req
1397. Watch your heads.
Here it comes!Copy !req
1398. All right. Have you got it?Copy !req
1399. Okay. Okay, you got it?
Good. Good.Copy !req
1400. Okay. All right,
now you let me knowCopy !req
1401. when you're ready to come up,
when you put it on, okay?Copy !req
1402. Then I'll pull you up.Copy !req
1403. All right. Fine.
You're ready. Okay.Copy !req
1404. All right, just a second.Copy !req
1405. Okay, girls,
Uncle Chet's here.Copy !req
1406. Okay.Copy !req
1407. Roman, you could help on this,
you know.Copy !req
1408. All right.Copy !req
1409. One, two, three, go!Copy !req
1410. Whoa! Hey!
What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
1411. When I say "ready," huh?Copy !req
1412. When I say "ready."Copy !req
1413. All right. On "ready."Copy !req
1414. Here we go.Copy !req
1415. Come on.Copy !req
1416. Help out a bit, will you?Copy !req
1417. Here it comes.
We'll be going home soon.Copy !req
1418. Roman and I are gonna have
a talk a little later on, girls.Copy !req
1419. We're gonna talk about
helping people.Copy !req
1420. Okay, here we go now.
Everybody help Uncle Chet.Copy !req
1421. Come on! Yeah!Copy !req
1422. We did it!Copy !req
1423. I did it!Copy !req
1424. A bald-headed bear!Copy !req
1425. Whoa!Copy !req
1426. Whoa!Copy !req
1427. Big bear!Copy !req
1428. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1429. I'm gonna die.
I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.Copy !req
1430. No, no, go away.
Leave me alone!Copy !req
1431. Go away!Copy !req
1432. Help!Copy !req
1433. Help! Help!Copy !req
1434. Hey, he's back, everybody!Copy !req
1435. Chet!Copy !req
1436. Hi!Copy !req
1437. Where the hell were you?Copy !req
1438. Come on in.
I'm making you a sandwich.Copy !req
1439. Big! Big! Whoo, big!Copy !req
1440. Big? All right,
I'll make a big one.Copy !req
1441. Big bear!Copy !req
1442. Big bear!Copy !req
1443. No! True! True! Out there.Copy !req
1444. We're glad you're home, honey.Copy !req
1445. Big bear chase...
Big bear chase...Copy !req
1446. What is he saying?
What?Copy !req
1447. Big bear chase me!Copy !req
1448. Whoo!Copy !req
1449. Upstairs! There's a bear!Copy !req
1450. Oh, get off me.
Get off, you son of a bitch.Copy !req
1451. Roman. Roman.Copy !req
1452. Uncle! Uncle! Uncle!Copy !req
1453. My God! Protect us!Copy !req
1454. Mom.Copy !req
1455. Oh, honey!Copy !req
1456. Connie, stay down! Stay down!Copy !req
1457. Hit him with the poker!
Hit him!Copy !req
1458. Look out, Roman!Copy !req
1459. Big bear. Big bear chase me.Copy !req
1460. Chase me!Copy !req
1461. Oh, thank God you're here.Copy !req
1462. Yeah, I'm here.
Thank God you're here.Copy !req
1463. Shoot him! Shoot him!Copy !req
1464. That's a goddamn lamp!Copy !req
1465. But it's loaded.Copy !req
1466. I can't hold on much longer!Copy !req
1467. Shoot him!Copy !req
1468. Oh, right in the...Copy !req
1469. Okay, let's roll!
All right.Copy !req
1470. I can't believe that
I'm actually
gonna miss this place.Copy !req
1471. Uncle Chet?Copy !req
1472. Yes, sweetheart?Copy !req
1473. I had a really good time.Copy !req
1474. Oh, well, I'm glad.Copy !req
1475. Thanks, Uncle Chet.Copy !req
1476. My pleasure, sweetheart.
I hope you had a great time.Copy !req
1477. 'Cause we had a nice time having you,
and we're gonna miss you.Copy !req
1478. Will I see you soon?Copy !req
1479. And don't drive too fast.
All right.Copy !req
1480. Take your seats,
in the trunk.Copy !req
1481. Roman, knock it off.Copy !req
1482. Cammie, if you're out there,Copy !req
1483. I just want you to know
I don't blame you for hating me.Copy !req
1484. Do city boys
always talk to themselves?Copy !req
1485. Look, I'm really sorry.Copy !req
1486. I want you to go back to Chicago
a crazed, lovesick maniacCopy !req
1487. who won't be able to
look at another girl
without comparing her to me.Copy !req
1488. Sounds good to me.Copy !req
1489. You're a good man.
You're the best.Copy !req
1490. You're not so bad yourself.Copy !req
1491. You drive safely.Copy !req
1492. Thanks.Copy !req
1493. Race you home.
You got it.Copy !req
1494. "Race you home."Copy !req
1495. Take care!Copy !req
1496. Bye, bye.Copy !req
1497. "Race you home."Copy !req
1498. Why would he say
"race me home"?Copy !req
1499. I mean, he lives
way the hell out in Oak Park.Copy !req
1500. It's just till he gets on his feet, honey.Copy !req
1501. I think you should be proud of him
not wanting to take your loan.Copy !req
1502. What are you saying?
Huh?Copy !req
1503. What are you saying?
We have plenty of room.Copy !req
1504. Connie.
If he beats us...Copy !req
1505. He is not staying
at our house.Copy !req
1506. Honey, if he beats us,
he'll get the good spot
in the garage!Copy !req
1507. Dad, to the memories.Copy !req
1508. To the memories.Copy !req
1509. Chester!
Buckley!Copy !req
1510. Get the hell in the car.
We gotta beat Uncle Roman home.
Move it! Move it!Copy !req
1511. Move it, everybody!
Let's go!Copy !req
1512. One, two, threeCopy !req
1513. Ow! Uh!Copy !req
1514. All right, uh!Copy !req
1515. You got to know how to ponyCopy !req
1516. Like Bony MaronieCopy !req
1517. Mashed PotatoCopy !req
1518. Do the AlligatorCopy !req
1519. Put your hands on your hips, yeahCopy !req
1520. Let your backbone slipCopy !req
1521. Do the WatusiCopy !req
1522. Like my little LucyCopy !req
1523. Ow! Uh!Copy !req
1524. Naa-na-na-na-naCopy !req
1525. Na-na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na
na-na-na-naaCopy !req
1526. I need somebody to help me
say it one timeCopy !req
1527. Naa-na-na-na-naCopy !req
1528. Naa-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
na-na-naCopy !req
1529. Na-na-na-naCopy !req
1530. Whoa!Copy !req
1531. Ow! Uh!Copy !req
1532. You know I feel all right, huh!Copy !req
1533. Feel pretty good, y'all, uh!Copy !req
1534. Naa-na-na-na-naCopy !req
1535. Na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
na-na-naCopy !req
1536. Na-na-na-naaCopy !req
1537. Come on, y'all,
let's say it one more timeCopy !req
1538. Naa-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-na
Na-na-na, na-na-naCopy !req
1539. Na-na-na-naaCopy !req
1540. You got to know how to ponyCopy !req
1541. Like Bony MaronieCopy !req
1542. Mashed potatoCopy !req
1543. Do the AlligatorCopy !req
1544. Put your hands on your hips, yeahCopy !req
1545. Let your backbone slipCopy !req
1546. Do the WatusiCopy !req
1547. Like my little LucyCopy !req
1548. Ow! Uh!Copy !req
1549. Naa-na-na-na-naCopy !req
1550. Naa-na-na-na, na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na-naaCopy !req
1551. I need somebody to help me
say it one timeCopy !req
1552. Naa-na-na-na-na, na-na-na-naCopy !req
1553. Na-na-na-na, na-na-na
Na-na-na-naaCopy !req
1554. Whoa!Copy !req
1555. Ow! Uh!Copy !req
1556. You know I feel all right, huh!Copy !req
1557. Feel pretty good, y'all, uh!Copy !req
1558. Naa-na-na-na-naCopy !req
1559. Naa-na-na-na, na-na-na
na-na-naCopy !req
1560. Na-na-na-naaCopy !req
1561. Come on, y'all,
let's say it one more timeCopy !req
1562. Naa-na-na-na-naCopy !req
1563. Na-na-na-na, na-na-na
na-na-naCopy !req
1564. Na-na-na-naaCopy !req
1565. Whoa!Copy !req
1566. Went into the alleyCopy !req
1567. With Long Tall SallyCopy !req
1568. Twistin' with LucyCopy !req
1569. Doin' the WatusiCopy !req
1570. Roll over on your backCopy !req
1571. I like it like thatCopy !req
1572. Do that Jerk, ohCopy !req
1573. Now watch me work, y'allCopy !req
1574. Ow! Do itCopy !req
1575. Ow! Do itCopy !req
1576. Do itCopy !req