The Drama (2026)

1. How can I help you?

2. Uh, can I get a black coffee?

3. Sure.

4. Thank you.

5. I love that book so much. It's, uh...

6. I just finished it last week.

7. It's incredible. It's...

8. I really, really, really admire it.

9. And, uh...

10. Uh...

11. All right.

12. Um, I'm sorry. I didn't mean...

13. I wasn't... Genuinely,

14. - I really admire the book. - What? Sorry?

15. I was just saying, I'm not...

16. I'm not hitting on you. I...

17. Sorry, what do you mean?

18. Genuinely, I just really admire the book.

19. I'm deaf in this one.

20. You're deaf?

21. Yeah. This one though. I can...

22. Uh...

23. Yeah, the, uh...

24. Do you want to start over?

25. - Um... - We could just try it again?

26. - Maybe? - You wanna try...

27. - Just do it again? - Yeah. Do it again.

28. - Okay. - Okay.

29. "I was absolutely certain

30. "I was being trapped

31. "and that you were recording me

32. "and I was gonna be all over the Internet,

33. "but I now understand..."

34. "... that the only thing that could have saved me

35. "was a second first impression."

36. Yeah. So funny. Great.

37. So I'm gonna start there and then go on

38. - to the first date. - Good.

39. So what'd you think of the ending?

40. Ending? Of what?

41. Of the book. I just finished it.

42. Oh, the, um...

43. I don't know. I feel like I didn't get it, you know.

44. Like I was missing something.

45. Yeah, no, I know what you mean. I think...

46. Yeah, me neither, really.

47. 'Cause did she die? Is that...

48. Like, do you think that's what it was?

49. I think so. I think so.

50. Just, that doesn't make any sense.

51. It doesn't?

52. Well, no, 'cause you remember this, like, the mirror thing?

53. Hm. Wait, which mirror?

54. The whole thing at the end with the mirror.

55. Um...

56. I thought it was just more of a kind of metaphor for like...

57. Uh...

58. I just didn't really realize it was real in the sense

59. that the mirror was, um...

60. The mirror was...

61. I don't even know...

62. I don't even know where to take this.

63. I didn't read the book. And, um... yeah.

64. - What? - I think I just glitched

65. when I saw you...

66. and I just wanted to talk to you.

67. And I didn't have anything, so...

68. That's weird.

69. Um, yeah, I'm... Well, I'm sorry. I didn't...

70. Just a weird, little freak.

71. Weird, little British freak.

72. Oh, yeah?

73. I'm sorry. I didn't realize you actually doubled down.

74. Yeah, what was I supposed to do?

75. How about reading the book?

76. For a first date? I don't know. That's a lot weirder, no?

77. How is that weirder?

78. I don't know. It just feels weirder somehow.

79. Okay. Don't agree, but go on.

80. So, I wanna say this thing about her laugh.

81. Do you know how it's kind of like...

82. It's very cute, but it's also kind of like...

83. - Repulsive even. Okay. - Yeah.

84. And then if, uh, she laughs, then I can point it out

85. and be like, "And there it is!" you know.

86. I did. I said, "If everyone knows he's a piece of shit,

87. "then why are we doing a retrospective

88. "in the first place?"

89. It's like, it's so incredibly irresponsible.

90. No one ever cares until it's too late.

91. And then it always ends up backfiring on me...

92. Emma, I'm being serious. It's not funny.

93. No, I agree with you. This is not funny at all.

94. It's very serious.

95. You're laughing.

96. "I love how you always find a way

97. "to turn my drama into a comedy."

98. And then, uh...

99. - I don't know. - What?

100. I kind of wanna say something about...

101. - No. - No?

102. Why do you want to talk about fucking in front of your family?

103. Or her family?

104. No, I don't wanna say it, like, directly.

105. I just wanna kind of allude to it somehow

106. 'cause I just think we've always had this sort of...

107. Like an incredible chemistry that's just... I...

108. Yeah, no, do that.

109. Do exactly that.

110. - Okay? - Okay, what if I said...

111. licentious.

112. Or languorous.

113. Just skip this part completely.

114. What, and just go straight to the crying thing?

115. It's just, you know,

116. it's my first time saying it out loud,

117. so I feel like I'll get it on the day, you know.

118. Maybe you should start with something funny,

119. so you're not, like, immediately in tears.

120. But it's kind of sweet. It's endearing.

121. Yeah, but you wanna look good.

122. Crying makes you look kind of ugly.

123. - What? - You, the general you.

124. Like, women.

125. Um, what about the first time you met?

126. Wasn't that kind of a funny story?

127. I love that book. I just...

128. Oh, no, she can't tell that one.

129. Why not?

130. What stories are you gonna do?

131. What do you mean? For my speech?

132. Yeah.

133. Well, you'll just have to wait and see.

134. No, no, no. So we don't, you know,

135. like, say the same things.

136. Are you gonna use the first time we met?

137. Yes.

138. Okay, well, what about the first date?

139. - Yeah, of course. - Fuck!

140. You don't have to do a speech.

141. First kiss?

142. Wait, so you can just, like, go in whenever?

143. Yeah, I do it all the time.

144. Oh, so you bring all the girls here?

145. Um, yeah.

146. - Ouch. - No,

147. when I'm working late and stuff.

148. Yeah, when you're working late and stuff.

149. Yeah.

150. Okay, this is like...

151. This is like a childhood dream, you know,

152. like sneaking into a mall or a library at night. It's...

153. Well, your dreams are about to come true.

154. Wow.

155. Um...

156. Is it not working?

157. Hm.

158. Oh, sh...

159. Um... Ooh!

160. Wait, so he trapped you?

161. It wasn't planned, Rachel.

162. What about that time you thought you had a...

163. - Who was that? - Hm?

164. Oh, uh, it's just Charlie. I left my wallet.

165. Hm. Who's Charlie?

166. Uh, he's my boyfriend, I guess.

167. Are you okay?

168. Yeah. No, I'm fine.

169. I don't know. Can you just...

170. She's saying it's her chest...

171. It's her heart. Her heart is...

172. So what was it?

173. It was just, like, feelings.

174. - Feelings? What do you mean? - Yeah.

175. Like intense butterflies.

176. - Right? - No, I get that,

177. but it wasn't your first time.

178. I don't know.

179. So you're saying Charlie is your first...

180. Love... Yeah.

181. Your first love or your first crush?

182. Both, I think.

183. - What, is that insane? - At 30?

184. Well, I mean, I was 28 when we met, so...

185. Still!

186. I don't know. I used to be ugly.

187. Oh, come on!

188. Don't freak out,

189. but there's a giant spider

190. that's crawling up your back and it's almost into your hair.

191. Just don't panic.

192. Nothing?

193. - No. - No.

194. I feel like you just have to do it louder.

195. Okay. Um...

196. I love you so much it hurts.

197. I can't be without you.

198. It's scary 'cause I can't imagine...

199. I want to marry you but I'm too afraid to even ask.

200. I think I caught that.

201. You did?

202. A hairy knife?

203. A what?

204. Did you say something about, like, a hairy knife?

205. - No. - No?

206. Emma, that's not even a thing.

207. You okay?

208. Yeah. No, it's good.

209. Oh, come on, you gotta be a bit more specific than that.

210. Yeah, it's a little corny

211. in a wedding speech kind of way, but it's, um...

212. All the pieces are there, you know.

213. I think you have it.

214. All right, you can't cry

215. and say it sucks.

216. And looking at each other.

217. Nice.

218. Slide... and two.

219. Nice.

220. And kiss. Great.

221. Ready and drag.

222. Step, step.

223. Step, step. Drag.

224. Step, step.

225. And under.

226. And arm up.

227. Good.

228. Playing.

229. Ready and left arm.

230. Down, up, up. Down, up, up.

231. And switch.

232. Oh.

233. Oh?

234. Good.

235. And this time, Emma, go around a full circle.

236. Great.

237. Ready and step.

238. And turn.

239. And step.

240. And turn.

241. And step.

242. Ready and drag, step, step, in.

243. Turn out.

244. Good.

245. Oh.

246. Nearly there.

247. Okay, not bad. Okay.

248. Not bad.

249. Still a little difficulty in the middle section,

250. but overall much better.

251. Yeah. Thanks.

252. Let's just do it again?

253. Okay. Okay.

254. What?

255. I just... I don't know,

256. I feel like we should just dance normally, right?

257. What do you mean?

258. Well, just the...

259. I don't know, it kinda feels a little performative.

260. It's a wedding. It's performative by nature.

261. Yeah. I think if we just do it...

262. a couple more times,

263. I'm gonna get it perfect, I swear.

264. I can't make up new choreography right on the spot.

265. Yeah.

266. Okay, well, just hear me out.

267. - Hear me out. Please. Please. - No, Emma. Please.

268. - Please, please, please. - Emma.

269. What's this?

270. She puts this on when I'm in a bad mood

271. just to fuck with me.

272. You like this song. You do.

273. - You fucking dance. - No.

274. Dance with me.

275. - Come on. - No.

276. Yes, it's cute. Yes.

277. Hey, can we stop fucking around?

278. What the fuck was that about?

279. It's like why does she care so much?

280. She just doesn't like it

281. when you don't take her seriously enough.

282. Shut up. You know what I mean!

283. You know, she's just like so intense.

284. - Uh-huh. - And she doesn't smile.

285. Like, I've literally never seen her smile.

286. "It's performative by nature."

287. What?

288. I think that was Pauline.

289. Oh, where?

290. Um...

291. She's on the corner, like, smoking heroin.

292. Wait. Are you serious?

293. Yeah.

294. Wait, like our Pauline?

295. Uh-huh.

296. No. I mean, it's probably not.

297. - That's her. Uh... - Okay.

298. - Look. Go look. - Okay.

299. It was her. It was the fucking wedding DJ.

300. - You're kidding! - Are you sure it was heroin?

301. Well, we can't prove it was heroin.

302. It was like she was smoking a thing

303. out of, like, a piece of foil.

304. Yeah, yeah.

305. Like, what else could that possibly be?

306. Did you talk to her?

307. No, no. She didn't see us.

308. Wait, what are you gonna do?

309. I don't know. I think we just get somebody else, I guess.

310. The wedding is this Saturday.

311. Well, we just get, like, a playlist or something, no?

312. No. You need a DJ, trust me.

313. Who did yours again?

314. No one. It was a disaster.

315. Are you just afraid you're not gonna find someone else?

316. No, I just... I don't know. It's not a deal-breaker, right?

317. Like, people do drugs. It's...

318. Babe, there's drugs and then there's heroin.

319. That's the line?

320. She's not performing surgery. She's, like, a... She's a DJ.

321. But isn't it more the fact

322. that she was doin' it out in the street?

323. Doesn't that say something about where she's at in life?

324. Okay, she wasn't, like, "on the street."

325. It was like...

326. It was like a party or something.

327. There was a whole bunch of other crackheads.

328. Why are you trying to be her publicist all of a sudden?

329. I don't know. I just don't wanna dismiss her

330. 'cause of this one thing. You know?

331. Just checking in. How was that mushroom risotto?

332. - It was so good. - It was really, really good.

333. - Yeah. - Yeah?

334. You need more time to think or can we commit?

335. - Do you wanna... Let's commit. - Yeah.

336. Aw.

337. Yes, we commit to it.

338. We'll commit to it. Just so you know,

339. it kinda has to be final this time, so...

340. Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, we totally get it. Thank you.

341. And, um, can I ask, is there any way

342. of getting another glass of the skin contact?

343. 'Cause I haven't quite made my mind up about the wine yet.

344. - Okay. - Yeah, me too, actually. Sorry.

345. Mike.

346. We're not a bar.

347. Cheers!

348. Love you guys.

349. You know, I barely touched the food at our wedding.

350. - Too much adrenaline. - Yeah.

351. And then we ran around at 2:00 a.m.

352. looking for a slice of pizza.

353. We should go to the diner.

354. - What, Andy's? - Yeah. Yeah.

355. Yeah, and they're, like, they're open late.

356. Um, what, on our wedding night?

357. - Andy's? - Yeah. It'll be fun.

358. You know, like actors when they win the Oscar

359. and they, like, go in their tuxes,

360. and it's fancy, and they order hamburgers.

361. - Cute. - It's cool.

362. Yeah. I mean, like... Yeah. Maybe.

363. Don't they actually sell crack out of that place?

364. Yes. That reminds me,

365. what are we gonna do about DJ Overdose?

366. Don't be mean. No.

367. Just replace her. It can't be that hard.

368. This wouldn't even be a conversation

369. if we hadn't, like, randomly seen her today.

370. Yeah, but we did, and now I'm gonna fixate over it.

371. Okay, but that's a you problem though.

372. Okay, what if she was a pedophile?

373. What? - Mike.

374. What?

375. What would it take for you to fire her?

376. - Okay. - Really fucking different,

377. I feel like, from doing drugs, right?

378. - Like, that's... - Mike, everybody knows

379. if you bring a pedo to a wedding,

380. it's just like...

381. - It's bad vibes. - Bad vibes all round.

382. True. But a heroin addict, on the other hand...

383. That could be great vibes.

384. - 'Cause that's party vibes. - Party vibes.

385. - Exactly. - It might be a little fun!

386. For all we know, we could have caught her on her worst day.

387. Yeah, but you caught her. Isn't that the point?

388. Why are you acting like you've never done anything bad?

389. Not that bad.

390. What about the dog story?

391. Hey, don't.

392. What?

393. Wow, okay. What's the dog story?

394. It's nothing.

395. Just tell the story.

396. No, I... Rachel, please.

397. Before we got married,

398. we did this thing where we said the worst thing we've ever done.

399. Yes, and then we said we'd never speak about it again.

400. - Are you kidding me? - Oh.

401. Just...

402. It's fine.

403. Do you want me to tell it?

404. No, I don't want anyone to tell it.

405. Wait...

406. did you, like, fuck a dog?

407. I didn't fuck a dog, Charlie.

408. I thought that's what you were gonna say.

409. Come on. I'll do mine too.

410. Oh, fuck, man.

411. Okay, I'll tell mine if we all do it.

412. - Great. - Sure.

413. - Yeah? Promise? - Mm-hm.

414. Promise.

415. - Okay. What? - Okay.

416. This is about an ex-girlfriend I was dating

417. when I was in college.

418. Who, Tessa?

419. Yeah.

420. So, we'd been dating for about a year,

421. and it was her birthday,

422. so we went down to Mexico to celebrate,

423. and she, look, she had anger issues,

424. and she didn't really seem grateful for the trip,

425. and we argued a lot.

426. - It was really exhausting... - Don't sugarcoat it.

427. Okay, I'm just saying,

428. you know, the vibes were already off, all right?

429. So, okay, anyway,

430. um, one night we're walking home from a bar.

431. This was actually on her birthday.

432. Um, yeah, and, uh...

433. we're cutting through this back alley to get to our place,

434. and this dog comes out of nowhere, barking.

435. And no owner in sight. Just a wild, crazy street dog.

436. And, um...

437. instinctively, she starts kicking at it,

438. which only makes the dog more aggressive, and...

439. Right.

440. it actually starts biting her.

441. And what did you do?

442. Um...

443. I kinda sorta just moved behind...

444. - He used her as a human shield. - No! I...

445. That's what you said.

446. You said you held her in front of you

447. to avoid getting bitten.

448. Yeah, okay. I used her as a human shield.

449. - Fine. - Thank you.

450. On her birthday. Wow.

451. I mean, like it makes a difference, really.

452. What a horrible little piece of shit you were.

453. Oh, no, he still is.

454. Yeah, okay. Let's hear yours, then.

455. No, I regret it.

456. No, Rachel, you have to.

457. I can't! No, I can't. I'm sorry, I can't.

458. If you don't tell them,

459. I will and I'll make it sound so much worse.

460. Okay, just give me a second.

461. I need a moment.

462. Okay, she...

463. I locked a kid in a closet.

464. - Okay. - No, come on, the full story.

465. All right, so...

466. I had this really weird neighbor growing up.

467. He was a few years younger than me.

468. He was a little slow.

469. And he came over to my house one day

470. wanting to show me some abandoned RV

471. that he had found in the woods.

472. And I don't know, I must have been bored that day

473. because I just went with it.

474. And it was really out of the way.

475. Like, deep in the forest.

476. And when we got there, it was disgusting.

477. It smelled bad,

478. and there was beer bottles and porn everywhere.

479. Oh, this is where you met Mike.

480. Fuck you.

481. And at first, I was like, "Why am I here?"

482. And then I noticed this empty closet,

483. and I dared him to get in it.

484. And I don't know what came over me,

485. but I slammed the door and I locked it.

486. And he immediately started screaming, like, really loud.

487. And I didn't know what to do, so I ran away.

488. Yeah.

489. Wait, why didn't you just open it?

490. Well, he was, like, going crazy,

491. and it freaked me out,

492. so I just ran home and I didn't say anything.

493. What? And, uh...

494. Wait, what... What happened to him?

495. I don't know.

496. Wait, what do you mean?

497. - I remember... - That's dark, Rachel!

498. I remember his dad coming over later that day.

499. He asked me what was going on, and if I knew where his son was.

500. And I was just so scared that I was gonna get in trouble

501. that I didn't tell him.

502. And the next morning when I woke up,

503. there was, like, a full search party going.

504. - You left him there overnight? - Yeah.

505. But they found him. They found him. Don't worry.

506. He's alive! He's alive.

507. But no one ever asked me about it,

508. and it never came back to me, for some reason.

509. Yeah, 'cause he was terrified of you obviously.

510. Yeah. Maybe.

511. Well, what would you have done if they hadn't found him?

512. Oh, I would have said something.

513. It kinda sounds like you didn't.

514. Well, they found him. I didn't have to say anything.

515. - What's yours, then, Charlie? - Yeah, come on, Charlie.

516. Oh, um...

517. What's the worst thing I've ever done?

518. And don't fuck around, man. The worst one.

519. Mm-hm. Don't bullshit us.

520. I...

521. Fuck. I... I don't know. I don't know.

522. I don't know. I honestly don't know.

523. No, fuck that. You have to say something.

524. Um...

525. Um... I cyberbullied someone

526. really badly when I was in school.

527. Mm-hm. Mm-hm.

528. - When? - Um...

529. - I must have been 14, I think. - This fucking guy, man.

530. Yeah, but, like, how bad are we talking?

531. No, badly. He moved. His entire family moved.

532. Because of the bullying?

533. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah.

534. But when I think about it,

535. it could have been a coincidence.

536. Lame. Come on.

537. But they did move. And he was crying!

538. I made him cry a bunch of times.

539. You were 14! Who cares?

540. Your brain doesn't even fully develop until you're 25.

541. And yours never got there?

542. Why are we all ganging up on me today?

543. - I didn't say anything. - Yeah, that's true.

544. - Thank you, Emma. You're sweet. - Oh, Emma. What about Emma?

545. I didn't mean... No, I think you were still...

546. No, no, no, no. He's disqualified.

547. We're moving on. Come on.

548. Yeah, come on, give us something good.

549. Give us some hot tea, Emma.

550. Hm.

551. Do you know what it is?

552. Uh, I don't know.

553. Do I know what this is?

554. Come on.

555. Come on.

556. Don't pussy out on us now.

557. Okay. I, um...

558. I, like...

559. almost did a mass shooting.

560. No, what do you mean? What do you mean?

561. Uh...

562. Like, um, when I was 15,

563. I was, like, really, really fucked-up back then,

564. and, um, yeah,

565. I planned to bring a weapon to school.

566. And, like, do a school shooting?

567. What?

568. Yeah, I think I was, like, actually gonna do it.

569. I think I almost did one.

570. Oh, come on.

571. You're joking. You, like, fantasized about it.

572. No, like, I had a weapon,

573. and I brought it to school which is...

574. Yeah.

575. What weapon?

576. It was my dad's rifle.

577. No. No, I don't believe this for a second.

578. No, it's true. I mean, it's actually why I'm deaf.

579. I was practicing in the woods, and I held the gun too close.

580. What?

581. Yeah.

582. You said you had that since birth.

583. What are you...

584. Well, I didn't, like, wanna say, but, um...

585. Yeah.

586. I was holding it, and then my ear popped.

587. And there was all this blood,

588. and yeah, that was that. Yeah.

589. But I didn't...

590. I didn't do anything.

591. I didn't, like, actually do anything.

592. I know it's, like, insane to have the fucking, like, idea,

593. but I didn't...

594. I... Yeah, I didn't actually do anything.

595. Oh.

596. You know my cousin's in a wheelchair

597. because of a shooting, right?

598. I... I didn't know that, no.

599. Are you fucking serious?

600. Wait... Wait, are you...

601. Are you being serious about... Is this a real thing? Like...

602. This is...

603. so disturbing,

604. I don't even know how to respond to this.

605. Um, I'm... I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything.

606. You planned a school shooting?

607. - I mean, I was 15 years old. - Rachel. Rachel. Don't...

608. Oh, you were 15? So, what, does that make it okay?

609. You were 15?

610. No, that's not what I'm saying. I just...

611. - Um, I'm sorry. I'm drunk. - Oh, you're drunk,

612. so what does that mean? Are you lying?

613. Rachel, just stop yelling at her. What the...

614. Stop yelling?

615. You know what? Fuck this. We're leaving. Mike!

616. Rachel, I know that this sounds insane.

617. I get that.

618. It's just that, like, at the time

619. I was really depressed, and I...

620. Um, hey, look, Rach, I'm gonna order an Uber.

621. Can we just calm down for a second?

622. Sam is actually paralyzed because of that.

623. Who's Sam?

624. My cousin. My fucking cousin.

625. I'm sorry, I didn't know what his name was.

626. Samantha. I've told you about her.

627. - Is everything all right? - Yeah, can we get some water...

628. Oh, my God. Shit.

629. Seven minutes.

630. You do have the keys. They're in your purse.

631. Charlie, I don't have the key. I checked.

632. I checked. On the way here,

633. I already checked.

634. - They're not in there. - I...

635. You see?

636. - I can hear them. - I did this already.

637. Oh.

638. - Charlie, I didn't mean... - Emma.

639. for tonight to be...

640. - I didn't mean... - I don't...

641. Let's just talk about it in the morning.

642. Are you sure? 'Cause I feel like...

643. Yes, you're fucked up.

644. I don't want to talk to you right now. So...

645. I'm not fucked up. You are.

646. Let's just go to bed.

647. Okay.

648. How'd you get so drunk?

649. - Is that you? - Yeah.

650. What? When did you wear glasses?

651. - Can you send this to me? - No, no, I cannot.

652. - Why not? - Because I look insane.

653. Fuck!

654. Charlie.

655. Charlie.

656. I mean, she's insane. She's insane, right?

657. Yeah, I mean, she's obviously not the person

658. you thought she was.

659. The fucking wedding is this weekend.

660. My family's flying in on Friday.

661. And I've spent so much fucking money.

662. No, we'll worry about that stuff later, all right?

663. You're not marrying a psychopath, right?

664. Fly back to London. Leave right now.

665. Don't even go back to the apartment.

666. Get away as fast you can. I'll take care of it.

667. I'll call the police.

668. I'll beat her up. Whatever you want.

669. Thank you.

670. I'm really sorry about last night.

671. Um...

672. Yeah. No. That was, uh...

673. Do you hate me?

674. No.

675. - Just that... - What?

676. I mean, was it true?

677. I just...

678. There's no way. I mean...

679. I'm just having a really hard time believing...

680. Why would I make something like that up? It's...

681. So you were just never gonna tell me?

682. Maybe.

683. Then why say it in front of everybody?

684. I didn't fucking plan it, you know?

685. It just... I was drunk. I mean...

686. Hm.

687. I mean, were you...

688. Can we just forget about it?

689. Like, I won't bring it up.

690. You don't bring it up and we just,

691. like, forget about it. We just don't...

692. I kind of think I have to know,

693. 'cause...

694. otherwise I'm gonna be assuming you're like a psychopath.

695. I mean...

696. Like, why... How did you even get the...

697. Why did you want to shoot up your school?

698. - God, don't say it like that. - Well, that's what you said.

699. - I just... - You said you planned

700. - a school shooting. - Okay, I get it. Just please.

701. Please.

702. I don't want you to fixate on this.

703. - You know how you are. You do. - What the fuck

704. - are you talking about? - You fixate on things

705. - and you can't stop thinking... - Think it's gonna be better...

706. We should just do this later.

707. Why?

708. Well, because I feel like shit,

709. and we're supposed to meet Frances.

710. Okay, just cancel Frances. Like...

711. No, we can't.

712. I mean, it's, like, her only time apparently.

713. You know, unless you don't

714. want to go through with it anymore.

715. Do you not want to get married?

716. Emma, of course I want to get married.

717. I just... I just want to be able to talk to you about it.

718. Like was this... When was this? It was in high school?

719. Then we sort of settled down

720. when I was, like, seven.

721. And I was fine then, I think. I had friends and stuff.

722. Um...

723. Then we moved again when I was, like, 14.

724. Where to?

725. - Uh, Louisiana. - Right.

726. Yeah, I just...

727. I didn't make any new friends

728. and I thought everyone hated me and I...

729. Sorry.

730. Fuck you!

731. - And that was it? - No, no...

732. I mean, like, there was other stuff...

733. I just... That was one example.

734. Ever heard of deodorant?

735. Bitch.

736. You know, like, shit like that.

737. So how'd you go from there to, like...

738. How does a child even get the idea?

739. I mean, it wasn't...

740. like, an original idea.

741. I mean, there were shootings all the time.

742. I guess I was just, like, intrigued.

743. Intrigued?

744. Yeah.

745. By what?

746. Like, the aesthetics of it.

747. Of what?

748. Of shootings.

749. It was, like, a whole thing online and I just...

750. I think I just thought it looked cool.

751. I don't know. I just started to believe

752. this character that I was playing.

753. And I guess it got me a lot of attention,

754. 'cause I was a girl.

755. - Shit. - What?

756. We have to go.

757. I'll shoot you first.

758. Then your parents,

759. then I'll shoot you and your parents.

760. Then I'll do the maid, grandparents...

761. And you don't have any siblings, right?

762. - No. - Okay.

763. Uh, then I'll shoot ring bearer.

764. Then I'll get your full-length, back of dress, putting on veil.

765. Then I'll shoot you.

766. Same thing, with and without parents.

767. With best man, then grandparents.

768. Uh, I don't think they can make it.

769. They're not coming?

770. Just, uh, the travel might be a bit much.

771. Okay, shooting grandparents TBD.

772. Uh, but then I'll get your full-length

773. and then we'll do a close-up of the rings.

774. Signing the certificate. The first dance.

775. Cake cutting. Bouquet toss.

776. And then I'm just gonna get like a bunch of candids throughout.

777. Yeah? Does that feel like it covers everything?

778. Mm-hm.

779. - Yeah, I think so. - Yeah?

780. Okay, I'll send you the shot list

781. and you let me know if you want to add anything.

782. - Cool. - Yeah.

783. Okay.

784. Am I sensing some nerves?

785. A little camera shy?

786. Why don't, um... I think that...

787. Why don't we, uh... Let's do a little warm-up.

788. Let's do a little warm-up so we're feeling, you know,

789. like revved up and comfortable on the day. Yeah?

790. All right. Let's try it.

791. Let's do a little warm-up. Up on our feet.

792. Okay. Just leave your coats there and, um...

793. Yeah, just stand right there. That's right.

794. That's right. Just split that mark.

795. Okay. Let's see how this looks.

796. All right, Charlie, can...

797. Move a little closer to the love of your life.

798. There we go.

799. All right, so, um, think about what you want to express.

800. Think about what you love about your partner.

801. So, Emma, what's your favorite thing about Charlie?

802. Um...

803. I, uh, love that he's very smart.

804. Um...

805. Very caring and open-minded and understanding.

806. And, um, and handsome... obviously, so...

807. Uh...

808. Okay, good. Good, good.

809. Okay, so keep those things in mind. Okay?

810. - Charlie. - Hm?

811. What's your favorite thing about Emma?

812. Um... Sh...

813. She's, uh, kind and, um, empathetic and, uh...

814. Funny.

815. She's beautiful. And empathetic.

816. Double empathy. That's good.

817. Okay, so hold on to those thoughts, okay?

818. And we're just gonna send them into the camera.

819. Don't forget to smile.

820. Really smile.

821. Okay. Yeah.

822. Just smile naturally.

823. Yeah, just like a... Mm.

824. Yeah, Charlie, just a completely natural smile.

825. Yeah. Just like

826. how you would smile in life.

827. Okay. Um,

828. Ben, let's, um... let's get some music.

829. Let's get some vibes.

830. Okay? Shake things up a little. Yeah?

831. All right. Good, good.

832. That's a real smile.

833. That was real. That's what I was looking for.

834. Okay, put a hand on his chest.

835. Okay. Oh, bling.

836. There we go. Love it. Yeah.

837. Okay.

838. And... And remember, you know each other really well.

839. You're completely comfortable together.

840. Okay.

841. Yeah.

842. Emma, fall into him. Just rest your...

843. We're in love. We want to show it to the world.

844. We found love that we're gonna have forever.

845. Right. Charlie, you're still here?

846. You get to be with this beautiful woman.

847. Empathetic woman. You know that.

848. Good. Good smiles. Good smiles. Good, you two.

849. Okay, that's nice. You guys look great.

850. Um...

851. Okay. Um, you know, I think that, um...

852. We'll, we'll...

853. - We'll get there on the day. - Yeah.

854. Okay.

855. - Okay. Okay. - All right.

856. Thank you. Okay.

857. Jesus fucking... Are you fucking kidding me?

858. - This is a crosswalk! - Emma, come on.

859. - People fucking cross here! - Hey, dude,

860. - control your girlfriend. - Emma.

861. - "Control your girlfriend"? - Emma.

862. Get the fuck out of the way!

863. I'm not getting out of the fucking way.

864. - You crazy bitch. - It's a crosswalk, dumb-ass.

865. Jesus Christ.

866. Fuck.

867. Oh, Sorry.

868. What the fuck are you doing?

869. I won't do that again.

870. I just don't really like being slapped.

871. Hey, thanks for waiting.

872. So, how's it all going?

873. Sorry. Did I interrupt anything?

874. Just... No, it's great. Yeah.

875. Okay. Cool. Long night?

876. - Yeah. - Yeah.

877. Yeah, I know. Me too.

878. Um, should we check out...

879. what we were talking about?

880. Yeah. Cool. Okay.

881. These ones just came in.

882. You probably noticed them. They're a little loud, but...

883. Did you actually like the lilies?

884. 'Cause I can call him back if you didn't.

885. - Uh, no, it's fine. Yeah. - Okay.

886. You okay?

887. How close did you get?

888. You probably wanna know why.

889. "Why'd she do it?

890. "What's wrong with her?"

891. What the fuck.

892. Hey, fucker.

893. Hey, fucker.

894. You wanna fucking die?

895. Hi.

896. By the time you see this,

897. I'll most likely already be gone.

898. And now you're wondering why.

899. "Why did she..."

900. Fuck.

901. Oh, my God. There's a shooting.

902. What? Yeah, at the mall.

903. People are, like, jumping out of windows and shit.

904. What? Right now?

905. Oh, my God. I was just there.

906. What the fuck is going on?

907. There was another mass shooting?

908. Technically, it wasn't a mass shooting, but yeah.

909. What do you mean?

910. Only three people died. It has to be four or more.

911. Uh-huh, okay. Uh...

912. And that's the reason you didn't do it?

913. 'Cause someone else...

914. That's the reason you didn't do it, 'cause...

915. somebody else just got there first?

916. I just got the news that Marcus didn't make it.

917. What?

918. He passed away earlier today...

919. at the hospital.

920. Who the fuck does something like that?

921. Like, what is wrong with you? You know what I mean?

922. Yeah.

923. Yeah. It's like...

924. how can someone even, like...

925. - Get the idea? - Yeah.

926. with being here with each other

927. in a moment like this,

928. and really seeing each other, really hearing each other,

929. feeling each other.

930. Some of us might be scared.

931. Some of us might be angry.

932. I bet some of us are confused today, aren't we?

933. That's okay.

934. We ain't gonna run away from those feelings today.

935. So here's what we're gonna do.

936. I wanna try an exercise with y'all.

937. All right, everybody get up on your feet real quick.

938. What I want you to do

939. is to start slowly walking around.

940. Good.

941. Now, after a moment, I want you to stop.

942. Okay, look at that person that's right in front of you.

943. See if you can sense

944. what they're experiencing right now.

945. Yeah, okay. Any other thoughts?

946. I don't know. I just feel like this is specifically

947. a male problem, right?

948. Like it's always some angry, crazy guy.

949. - Emma? - Hm?

950. You don't agree?

951. No, there's been a few.

952. A few what?

953. Mass shootings by women.

954. Well, not in America.

955. Yeah, I mean, there's even that song,

956. - I Don't Like Mondays. - What?

957. It's about a woman

958. who shot a bunch of people from her window

959. because she hated Mondays.

960. It's not just men, and they're not all crazy.

961. A lot of them are shockingly normal.

962. Normal?

963. I mean, like, what the hell are you talking about?

964. Look them in the eyes.

965. Acknowledge them. Be with them.

966. Be aware of them.

967. It's okay if you're emotional.

968. Okay, let's keep doing it. Keep walking. Keep going.

969. So, uh, I was gonna ask you if you wanted to join me

970. and, you know, try to do something.

971. About?

972. Gun violence.

973. Oh.

974. 'Cause I'm just trying to organize

975. a little something, you know?

976. Unless you, like, love guns or something.

977. Yeah, no.

978. It's kind of like that Louis Malle movie.

979. What?

980. Do you know the one about the guy who wants to join

981. the French Resistance,

982. but they reject him, so he joins the Nazis instead?

983. But it's, like, the other way around.

984. I haven't seen that one.

985. I don't know, if anyone wants to volunteer?

986. What about Emma?

987. - Me? - Yeah.

988. I mean, I feel like you'd be a good speaker.

989. Why?

990. I don't know. I mean, it just makes sense.

991. I mean, you sound legit,

992. and I just feel like you have the best face for it.

993. Okay. Yeah, Emma it is.

994. Okay.

995. Let's make the world a better place, right?

996. No more guns! No more guns!

997. And you didn't feel like a fraud?

998. No.

999. It felt like finally waking up from a bad dream.

1000. Just like that?

1001. I mean, I guess.

1002. Okay.

1003. And you never had those issues again?

1004. Like what? What do you mean?

1005. Like...

1006. violent urges...

1007. God, no. No.

1008. Okay.

1009. But, like, when did...

1010. Charlie, can we stop talking about this?

1011. Just... Until after the wedding?

1012. Because... I just... I don't... I don't wanna ruin everything.

1013. And I don't want you to look at me differently.

1014. And I just... I love you. I love you so much.

1015. I love you too.

1016. Rachel's not responding.

1017. It's pretty late.

1018. Yeah, well, she's not responding to my emails either.

1019. Why are you emailing her?

1020. 'Cause I stupidly got Alice to hire her for this work thing.

1021. I'll just call Mike in the morning.

1022. They probably both hate me.

1023. They don't hate you.

1024. It's gonna be all right, I promise.

1025. How do you know that?

1026. 'Cause it's just Rachel. She's just...

1027. She's just overreacting, like she always does.

1028. You know...

1029. What?

1030. Freud said something like, uh,

1031. the feelings that we don't talk about get buried alive,

1032. only to come out in uglier ways.

1033. Is that what you feel right now?

1034. No, I just think it's important to talk.

1035. Yeah.

1036. And we did.

1037. We did, yeah.

1038. And we're okay, right?

1039. Yeah.

1040. Morning.

1041. Morning. How'd you sleep?

1042. Not great.

1043. What... What are you doing?

1044. Just working on my speech.

1045. - I'm just gonna have a shower. - Okay.

1046. - Hey. - Hm?

1047. Kiss.

1048. Hey, Charlie, did you...

1049. Jesus, you scared me.

1050. I was making a smoothie.

1051. Why are you looking at me like that?

1052. Like what?

1053. Like you're scared of me.

1054. It was just like a... It was a reflex.

1055. Do you think I came in here to stab you?

1056. No. What? Of course not. I...

1057. What was the question?

1058. Very funny.

1059. Didn't you say you had a friend that died?

1060. What?

1061. Like, when you were younger.

1062. In a car accident or something?

1063. Uh, yeah. My neighbor.

1064. Were you guys close?

1065. No, not really. She was a couple of years older than me.

1066. And how old was she when it happened?

1067. She was, like, 12.

1068. No shit. Wow.

1069. That must have been a really crazy thing to witness,

1070. like, at that age.

1071. I didn't actually witness it.

1072. No, but still. You never had therapy or anything?

1073. I was 10.

1074. Yeah, but, like, 10 is a very vulnerable age...

1075. - Okay, Charlie, please. - What?

1076. I just... I know what you're trying to say,

1077. and I don't think it's relevant.

1078. How do you know if it's relevant or not

1079. if you haven't analyzed it?

1080. - Sure. - Right?

1081. So, three o'clock, then?

1082. - What? - For City Hall,

1083. for the marriage license.

1084. Oh, yeah. Um, yes.

1085. Oh, fuck. Sorry.

1086. Sorry. Sorry.

1087. - Jesus. - Um...

1088. Hey.

1089. Uh, have you talked to Rachel?

1090. No, I have not.

1091. Oh, um, would you mind just nudging her?

1092. I just haven't heard from her.

1093. Misha, what is this?

1094. Did you put this on my desk?

1095. No.

1096. Do you know who did?

1097. No.

1098. It didn't just come in the mail?

1099. Are you okay?

1100. Yeah. Sorry, what did you want?

1101. Just an update. She's just, like, not responding.

1102. I think... I think she's just, like, really busy.

1103. Doesn't need to be right now.

1104. Yeah. But she's, like, always busy.

1105. Like, juggling a million things.

1106. What does that mean? She's not gonna do it?

1107. I mean... probably not.

1108. But this was your idea.

1109. Yeah, but she kind of talked me into it, you know?

1110. She's in marketing. She's just very good at that.

1111. Yeah.

1112. Okay. So, what should we do?

1113. I mean, honestly, I think

1114. we just, like, move on with someone else, 'cause...

1115. She's great. Like, don't get me wrong.

1116. It's just, she sucks at time management.

1117. Okay.

1118. - Sorry. - She's your friend.

1119. Is... Is everything okay?

1120. Yeah, I'm just...

1121. What?

1122. - Nothing. - Okay.

1123. Do you... Do you need some help? Or...

1124. No, just, like...

1125. Okay.

1126. Hm...

1127. Um, Charlie, we don't have to do this if you don't want to.

1128. No, I do. I do. I do. Just...

1129. Just give me a second.

1130. Okay.

1131. Okay. I feel like... You have to stop thinking about it.

1132. Hey, come on.

1133. You can't just say, "Stop thinking about it."

1134. So, you are thinking about it?

1135. I'm not thinking about it.

1136. For fuck's sakes, I am thinking about it now.

1137. Let's just start over.

1138. Is that seat taken?

1139. Go ahead.

1140. Do you live around here?

1141. What?

1142. It's just that you look familiar.

1143. Um, yeah. I'm...

1144. Yeah, I live near here.

1145. Oh, cool.

1146. I'm Emma, by the way.

1147. What's your name?

1148. - I don't think this is gonna... - I'm sorry, what's your name?

1149. - Charlie. - Charlie.

1150. What's a...

1151. sexy guy like you doing out all alone?

1152. Emma, look...

1153. Do you have an accent? What's that? Australian?

1154. This isn't gonna work.

1155. What's not gonna work?

1156. Look, let's just not do this.

1157. - Do what? - Just stop. Stop.

1158. This is stupid.

1159. Like, I'm not overthinking anything.

1160. It's just been a stressful week. I...

1161. I don't even care about it anymore.

1162. - You don't? - No.

1163. Well, then, why'd you throw out the mug?

1164. - What mug? - Your mug

1165. with the fucking gun on it.

1166. - I didn't. - Yes, you did.

1167. I don't know. Maybe it was fucking broken or something.

1168. Oh, my God. Why are you lying about it?

1169. Okay, I'm sorry.

1170. I didn't realize the mug meant so much to you.

1171. I'm sorry I threw it away.

1172. It's obviously not about the fucking mug, Charlie.

1173. Ow! Fuck.

1174. - Fuck. Sorry. - Charlie, the fuck was that?

1175. I'm so sorry. I was just trying to do

1176. - your stupid joke thing. - Just stop.

1177. - Are you all right? - Yes, I'm fine. I'm just...

1178. Fuck. It's Rachel.

1179. Hey.

1180. Well, Rachel, you're the maid of honor,

1181. and if you call in the middle of the night

1182. and say you're not coming to the wedding, I mean,

1183. that's not an aggressive move to you?

1184. It was barely past 10:00.

1185. Still. She's devastated.

1186. Well, did she tell you that she had Alice

1187. fire me off that project she, like, begged me

1188. to help her with?

1189. No, no. Why would she do that?

1190. Because she's crazy.

1191. Stop... stop saying that.

1192. Well, how can you even trust her?

1193. I mean, 'cause unlike you,

1194. she didn't actually do anything, so...

1195. Me? What are you talking about?

1196. Yes. You locked a mentally disabled child in a closet.

1197. - Okay, let's not... - I never said

1198. - he was mentally disabled. - Yes, you did.

1199. You said he was slow. You said he was slow.

1200. Please let's not fight, guys.

1201. You're being incredibly hypocritical.

1202. It was an impulse, Charlie.

1203. I didn't plan a cold-blooded murder.

1204. Well, she didn't, like... She...

1205. She didn't, like, come up with it on her own.

1206. What do you mean?

1207. 'Cause it's like a whole thing in this country, isn't it?

1208. I mean, think about it.

1209. If there's a shooting practically every single day,

1210. then imagine how many people must have thought about it.

1211. Or, like, planned one. Or even got close to it,

1212. but backed out

1213. or changed their minds for whatever reason.

1214. I'm sure there's thousands of people like that.

1215. We just wouldn't know 'cause they would never tell anyone.

1216. They're just out there, living normal lives.

1217. Really could be anyone.

1218. Oh. Here we go. So it's America's fault now?

1219. I don't know. I think it's...

1220. I do think it's a cultural thing.

1221. Oh, please. Look at Mike, he grew up around guns,

1222. and he's terrified of them.

1223. I didn't grow up around guns.

1224. I thought you said you had an uncle

1225. that owned, like, a bunch of guns.

1226. Yeah, because he was a cop.

1227. I'm not terrified of them. Why would you even say that?

1228. What, so you like guns now?

1229. Look. Can I just be completely honest?

1230. I was shocked, of course. Just as much as you guys.

1231. Like, I...

1232. But...

1233. then we talked, and...

1234. and, uh, she shared some stuff from her past that...

1235. I don't know. It just really put it into perspective for me.

1236. Like what?

1237. Shout out to Sally, you're gonna fucking die first.

1238. It's just...

1239. Uh...

1240. Her friend died when she was young.

1241. Who?

1242. Her neighbor, who she was extremely close to.

1243. And she died in a car crash.

1244. Um, and, basically, Emma had to witness

1245. her best friend getting...

1246. Oh, my God! No! Call 911 somebody!

1247. Somebody help! Get her out of there!

1248. I mean, that's kind of a big deal.

1249. Well, I'm sorry she had to go through that, obviously.

1250. No, and it really fucked her up

1251. and no one ever offered her

1252. any therapy or counseling or anything,

1253. and she just had to carry that for years.

1254. And it's kind of interesting, in a way.

1255. What's interesting?

1256. Just that...

1257. It's so unexpected. And...

1258. I don't know. I think

1259. it kind of makes her

1260. a little more interesting to me, I guess.

1261. - Interesting? - Yeah.

1262. Really?

1263. - I think what he's trying... - I wasn't talking to you.

1264. Just that it's so not who she is now.

1265. It's not interesting, Charlie,

1266. - it's awful. - Hey, sorry, sorry.

1267. Rachel, um, they're asking

1268. if you can come approve that Oatly deck?

1269. Well, just tell them it's fine.

1270. Um, no. But they said they need to hear it from you directly.

1271. Yeah, of course. I'm sorry. I'll be right there.

1272. We're gonna have to wrap this up,

1273. I have a lunch. I'm meeting Sam.

1274. You're meeting her now?

1275. Yes, I had to make sure that she's okay with all of this.

1276. That she's okay with you coming to our wedding?

1277. Yeah. Obviously, I don't wanna betray her.

1278. Sam?

1279. Sam?

1280. - Sorry. - Yeah?

1281. Rachel's cousin?

1282. Yeah.

1283. I'm friends with Rachel and Mike.

1284. Oh, cool.

1285. And I'm... That's a great jacket, by the way.

1286. Thank you. It's just Uniqlo.

1287. So, you guys are, uh, really close?

1288. I mean, she's family.

1289. - Yeah. - So...

1290. I mean, what does that mean exactly?

1291. That she's family.

1292. Yeah. Well, I mean, it's just...

1293. She hadn't really mentioned you before,

1294. so I was just, you know, just wondering.

1295. Did she tell you I was coming or...

1296. Yeah, I was just with her and, um... I don't know.

1297. She's just... There's some drama.

1298. And you know how Rachel is.

1299. Okay. What was your name?

1300. Uh, Charlie.

1301. Right. Great to meet you, Charlie.

1302. - Just... Hey. - Uh...

1303. I just... Um... I...

1304. I just think...

1305. Um...

1306. I think you would love Emma.

1307. Okay. Um... You know, I'm actually kind of late, so...

1308. "Emma, true love is sacrificing yourself,

1309. "humiliating yourself. True love is egoless.

1310. "It's being ready to do anything.

1311. "True love is complicated. True love is acceptance.

1312. "True love is radical acceptance.

1313. "Emma, I know worse people than you."

1314. Jesus, not that. What the fuck am I...

1315. Misha.

1316. Mm-hm?

1317. What's, like, the worst thing you've ever done?

1318. What's the worst thing I've ever done?

1319. Mm...

1320. Really?

1321. Mm...

1322. Cheated.

1323. Yeah? Like, recently or...

1324. No, like, a few years ago.

1325. What made it so bad? Were you in a serious relationship or...

1326. You don't think cheating is bad enough?

1327. No, it's, like, bad. But, like, what happened?

1328. Um, well, I was dating this guy, who was very nice.

1329. Like, genuinely kind.

1330. And we lived together for, like, two years.

1331. And I just could not bring myself

1332. to have sex with him anymore.

1333. 'Cause he was too nice?

1334. Maybe, yeah.

1335. And then I started sleeping with his older married friend,

1336. um, who treated me like shit, so...

1337. And did you like that he treated you like shit?

1338. Not necessarily, but...

1339. we had better sex, yeah.

1340. And then...

1341. then everybody found out about it,

1342. and it was a whole fucking mess.

1343. Oh...

1344. Well, what's the worst thing you've ever done?

1345. I don't know. I just...

1346. I wouldn't even know how to pick.

1347. Because there's just too many?

1348. Yeah.

1349. All right.

1350. And what would you do if you found out

1351. that your boyfriend, um...

1352. had, like, planned a school shooting?

1353. Oh. Uh...

1354. Like... Like, if Blake did that?

1355. Yeah. But he didn't actually do it.

1356. He... He almost did it.

1357. Like, he had a weapon and everything,

1358. but he didn't.

1359. This is, like, in high school.

1360. Uh well, I mean, that would scare me obviously.

1361. Yeah, but, like, would it change how you felt about him?

1362. Well, why didn't he do it?

1363. I don't know.

1364. Like, he...

1365. His...

1366. His, uh, car broke down and he just decided not to.

1367. Okay. But otherwise, he would have just gone through with it,

1368. that's what you're saying?

1369. I don't know. The point is, he didn't, so...

1370. All right, he didn't do it.

1371. I don't know. I guess I'd...

1372. call the police.

1373. What?

1374. Okay. So, you'd call the police, yeah?

1375. I think so, yeah. Right?

1376. He's obviously not the same person now, though.

1377. I mean, but the fact that he ever was, is...

1378. Yeah. But you love him, yeah?

1379. Yeah. I love the person that I thought he was.

1380. All right, what? So, you're gonna call the police,

1381. and what? And have him arrested? Like, for what?

1382. I don't know. Isn't that what you're supposed to do

1383. if you think that someone's a threat?

1384. - He was 15. - Yeah, but come on.

1385. That's a huge red flag.

1386. Even after you've dated him for two years?

1387. Three.

1388. - Three years. - Yeah, but come on,

1389. you've seen Blake.

1390. I mean, he would murder me in, like, two seconds.

1391. Okay. Even if he was completely open and honest with you?

1392. And he told you he regretted everything?

1393. Mm-hm...

1394. And that he made you believe, beyond a doubt,

1395. that he's changed?

1396. I mean, isn't that exactly what a psychopath would do?

1397. At the bridal table...

1398. - Hey. - Where were you? I texted you.

1399. - I was doing a work thing. - Okay.

1400. - She seems fine. - Yeah.

1401. Do you want me to talk to her or...

1402. No, no, no. Let's just... Let's do it together.

1403. Okay.

1404. What the fuck was that?

1405. It's nothing. It's just...

1406. You okay?

1407. Yeah. I'm just, like, stressed about the wedding and stuff.

1408. Like... I'm sorry.

1409. So, it's all good?

1410. Yeah. It's all set up.

1411. I just need to replace some cables.

1412. Um...

1413. What was that track you were playing in there?

1414. Oh, it's one of mine actually.

1415. Really? Yeah, from forever ago.

1416. No way. That's... That's so cool.

1417. Do you... Do you still make music?

1418. No, not really.

1419. Oh, why... Why not?

1420. Um, just life had different plans, I guess.

1421. - Are you okay? - Yeah. I'm sorry.

1422. - What's going on? - It's just... She's just, um...

1423. You're really... You're talented.

1424. She's talented.

1425. Anyway. Yeah, there was just, um, something

1426. we wanted to talk to you about.

1427. Okay.

1428. Uh, so, we saw you the other day on the street.

1429. Hey, it's gonna be fine.

1430. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1431. Take a deep breath.

1432. I'm sorry. It's okay. It's okay.

1433. It's okay. It's okay.

1434. Whoa...

1435. Heroin. You were smoking heroin.

1436. No.

1437. I don't do that.

1438. Uh, you can be honest, we're not gonna tell anyone.

1439. Yeah, but I didn't fucking do it.

1440. Jesus fucking Christ.

1441. Um...

1442. I don't know why I did that.

1443. - I'm sorry. - It's okay.

1444. Um...

1445. Can you just not tell anyone about this?

1446. Admit it, and we can move on.

1447. - You're not in trouble. - I think

1448. - we've made our point here. - No. No.

1449. We saw you. You were on Arlington, by the park.

1450. Right?

1451. - Oh, maybe... - What?

1452. I mean, it was, like, dark.

1453. Why are you questioning it now?

1454. - It's like... - Can I be honest?

1455. Yes, please. That's literally all we want from you.

1456. You're being a fucking cunt.

1457. Excuse me? Yeah.

1458. Wow. Okay, you're fired.

1459. Please take your things and fucking leave.

1460. - Are you serious? - Yes, I'm very serious.

1461. - Please. - I'm all set up.

1462. Take your shit.

1463. That was a fucking waste of my time.

1464. - Thank you. - You're a bitch.

1465. And you're a fucking pussy.

1466. Can't believe you just ripped my shirt off.

1467. All right, let's bring in Mom and Dad.

1468. Yes.

1469. Everyone, scooch in. Get close.

1470. Just breathe, smile. It's a beautiful day.

1471. Charlie, stay with me here.

1472. Yes, beautiful. Happiness.

1473. Just relax. And real, natural smiles.

1474. Back to me, Charlie and Emma,

1475. with those big, beautiful smiles. Nice.

1476. Hello. Hi.

1477. Um, just wanted to welcome everyone, and thank you all

1478. for being here on this special day.

1479. And I think we should start off

1480. with a toast to the bride and groom.

1481. To Emma and Charlie.

1482. To Emma and Charlie.

1483. Jesus.

1484. Um...

1485. - Be right back. - Okay.

1486. Hey.

1487. - Hey. You the groom? - No, I'm Mike. He's the...

1488. Hey. Charlie. Hey.

1489. Fuck her, man.

1490. - The other DJ. - Oh...

1491. It's unbelievable. What's the most important part

1492. of being a DJ? What do you think?

1493. 'Cause it's not the music.

1494. Showing up.

1495. Can't DJ if you don't show up, right?

1496. Did she have COVID? Did she mention anything?

1497. I... She didn't actually mention.

1498. 'Cause, you know, that's legit.

1499. Death in the family, that's also legit.

1500. Hey. Congrats, man.

1501. I'm Blake, Misha's boyfriend.

1502. Yes. Yes, of course.

1503. - Yes. Thanks for coming. - Yeah,

1504. well, I tried to say hi earlier, but...

1505. Just a busy day.

1506. Yeah? Well, enjoy, man.

1507. - Cool. Yeah, thank you. - Yeah.

1508. You know, I don't know

1509. if she already told you, but I've actually worked

1510. with one of your servers before.

1511. - Oh, really? - Isn't that so funny?

1512. I actually think that's a really good omen.

1513. So, where do I set up?

1514. - Mike, can you do the thing? - Yeah.

1515. Yeah, cool.

1516. You a gearhead?

1517. - DJ gear? - Yeah. I ask

1518. because I brought with me today an EV Esense 8 with a Senny kit,

1519. and I have a Bluetti down below for power.

1520. It's funny. If you know about gear,

1521. - it's a rather unusual setup. - Yeah. Okay.

1522. Yeah.

1523. Everybody, uh, it is now time to hear a few words

1524. from the father of the bride.

1525. Oh, boy. Thank you.

1526. Uh...

1527. Emma, my girl. You look absolutely stunning today.

1528. Time has flown by way too fast, hasn't it?

1529. Feels like you moved out three days ago,

1530. and here you are getting married.

1531. You have always been

1532. a creative and passionate girl.

1533. And I don't know if you remember this,

1534. but when you were young, you had all these characters

1535. you would come up with.

1536. And you used to have these little shows

1537. for your mom and me,

1538. using the living room as a stage.

1539. I think my favorite was the blind farmer.

1540. She would stumble around,

1541. bumping into all this furniture, yelling,

1542. "Has anyone seen a brown cow?"

1543. But in middle school,

1544. you had a brief affair with theater,

1545. and you were really into drama.

1546. But no more blind farmers. It had to be serious.

1547. Preferably life or death.

1548. But as a teenager, you became an activist.

1549. And you developed a strong passion for gun control,

1550. which you got so serious about, I had to pick you up

1551. from the police one time for egging Walmart employees

1552. for selling weapons.

1553. Uh...

1554. Hm...

1555. It was obvious it came from your big heart,

1556. but I have to admit, I think part of it was about you

1557. rebelling against your dad, too.

1558. You know, the dad who works in the military

1559. and happens to own a rifle.

1560. The same rifle which mysteriously disappeared

1561. right around that time.

1562. You remember that?

1563. Wasn't that a wild coincidence?

1564. Sorry. Sorry.

1565. Sorry, everyone.

1566. Uh, these are not the cables I asked for.

1567. Yeah...

1568. That was not planned, by the way.

1569. All right. Um...

1570. You know, I kinda lost my train of thought, so...

1571. Emma, Charlie, may your love grow deeper every day.

1572. - Cheers. - Cheers.

1573. So you always just, like,

1574. kept weapons around the house?

1575. What?

1576. No, I was...

1577. No, it was a great speech.

1578. - It was beautiful. - Okay.

1579. Right here.

1580. Really good.

1581. Maybe get some water and...

1582. No, my turn. I wanna do my speech.

1583. No, I know. I'm just saying.

1584. I wanna do it.

1585. Lower your voice, all right?

1586. We're at a wedding, okay? Just get it together.

1587. Goddamn it. Fuck.

1588. Hi, everybody, again.

1589. Uh, yeah. So, now it is time for...

1590. to hear some words from the maid of honor,

1591. Rachel.

1592. Hello. It's so nice to see everyone here today.

1593. So, I met Charlie through my husband, Mike,

1594. and a few years later, we all got to know Emma.

1595. So when Emma asked me to be her maid of honor,

1596. I was a bit surprised.

1597. I remember thinking, "Don't you have real friends?"

1598. Kidding!

1599. Kidding.

1600. But seriously, getting to know Emma,

1601. I have come to see how layered and complex she is.

1602. Full of surprises, like you wouldn't believe.

1603. Charlie, too!

1604. Which is why I think

1605. they will find happiness in this marriage.

1606. Because, Emma,

1607. you have found a very open-minded partner in Charlie.

1608. A real cheerleader, am I right?

1609. Oh! Mike's giving me that look.

1610. We're on a tight schedule, I see.

1611. But, yeah.

1612. Um, I think you guys are great for each other.

1613. I wish you all the best.

1614. To the happy, carefree couple.

1615. hypothetical questions

1616. about a school shooter.

1617. He was, like, asking for a friend,

1618. you know what I mean?

1619. Like, she maybe thought about doing a school shooting.

1620. Oh, no.

1621. I know, like...

1622. - Hi! - Oh. Hi, Emma.

1623. - Sorry, did I scare you? - The bride. You look beautiful.

1624. Thank you.

1625. - Um... - Um...

1626. Were you just talking to someone?

1627. - Just now? - Yeah.

1628. - Um, yeah. Yeah. - Who?

1629. Um...

1630. - Susan. - Susan?

1631. - Hm... - Oh.

1632. Hm...

1633. What were you talking about?

1634. - Uh, nothing. - Nothing?

1635. - Nothing. Hm... - Oh...

1636. Just thought I, like, overheard something.

1637. Well, do you mind if I just...

1638. - Oh, sorry. Yeah. - Can I just...

1639. Thank you.

1640. Ah!

1641. Can I talk with you for a second?

1642. Sorry. Sorry.

1643. Fuck. Can you close the door, please?

1644. What's going on?

1645. Rachel was fucking talking.

1646. What makes you think that?

1647. Because I overheard Misha and she said something.

1648. What... What did she say?

1649. I don't know, but she definitely said,

1650. "School shooting," and, "Don't tell anyone."

1651. And what, you think Rachel told her?

1652. I don't know, Charlie. I don't fucking know.

1653. If she knows, if Misha knows,

1654. then who the hell else fucking knows?

1655. What, my parents?

1656. Oh, my God, your parents.

1657. Oh, my God, this cannot...

1658. this cannot be fucking happening.

1659. What?

1660. It doesn't fucking matter. It doesn't matter.

1661. It's gonna be okay. Okay?

1662. - It's gonna be fine. - Okay. Okay.

1663. You promise you didn't say anything?

1664. Yeah. Like, she was probably talking about the...

1665. Like, there was another one, like, a week ago.

1666. She was probably talking about that.

1667. Okay. Well, will you go get her?

1668. - Get who? - Misha, so I can talk to her.

1669. Uh...

1670. I don't know. I just don't think

1671. we should make a big deal about it.

1672. No. No. I need to figure out who told her. Please.

1673. - Okay, I'll go get her. - Ah...

1674. Emma. Emma. Fuck me. Jesus.

1675. Can I just say, um...

1676. he kissed me,

1677. and we stopped immediately, and it truly meant nothing.

1678. Wait, what? What are...

1679. What is she talking... What are you talking about?

1680. I don't know, like, he wasn't himself.

1681. He was sort of disturbed,

1682. and he was crying, and I was just...

1683. Why was he crying?

1684. I don't know. He asked me

1685. what I would do if I...

1686. I just hit a wall. I was very emotional.

1687. Shut the fuck up. What were you saying?

1688. He asked me what I would do if Blake did a school shooting.

1689. I said, "planned." Okay, yeah.

1690. - He said, "planned." - Yeah.

1691. And then he got really upset, and he started crying,

1692. and I was just trying to make him feel better,

1693. and he very clearly misread the signals.

1694. I... It didn't mean any... It was just an accident.

1695. It was an accident. I didn't...

1696. Fuck.

1697. Okay.

1698. I tell you, it was nothing.

1699. I'm confused.

1700. Is the shooting thing real?

1701. I'm fine.

1702. You all right, dear?

1703. Yeah.

1704. Dear guests,

1705. it is now time to hear a few words

1706. from the bride to the groom.

1707. No?

1708. Uh, sorry. Actually, the groom

1709. is going to speak first. Pardon me.

1710. Okay.

1711. Um...

1712. Emma, I, uh...

1713. Um, I had a speech, but, um...

1714. I've forgotten everything. Like...

1715. What I was gonna say was, um...

1716. when I first met Emma, it was kind of like out of a movie,

1717. you know, like, uh...

1718. The meet-cute at the coffee shop, and...

1719. Um...

1720. she was reading this book.

1721. What was it called again?

1722. It doesn't matter. But, um...

1723. Yeah, I hadn't read the book,

1724. but I pretended to

1725. so I could talk to her, and...

1726. She couldn't hear anything 'cause of...

1727. 'cause of the ear, and, um...

1728. I thought it was really sexy.

1729. And, um, sweet in this weird kind of way.

1730. And then she had this laugh, which is really specific,

1731. and I wanted to say something about how it's, um, repulsive,

1732. but in a funny way, like, it's very...

1733. It's very cute,

1734. and it's the best laugh, and, um...

1735. Uh...

1736. I fell in love with her just on the spot right then,

1737. and it's been growing ever since.

1738. And you're my best friend,

1739. and we have, like,

1740. amazing, amazing sex.

1741. And, like, I mean...

1742. Whoa.

1743. Excuse me. Sorry, I'm fucking this all up.

1744. I didn't... Just forget it. Forget about the fucking speech.

1745. I don't wanna embarrass you, Emma.

1746. I can't... I don't deserve you.

1747. And I can't believe the level of stupidity

1748. that I've subjected you to.

1749. Oh...

1750. Can you just please, like...

1751. Can you just stop gossiping, all right?

1752. It's just our wedding.

1753. She didn't do anything, okay?

1754. She didn't do anything.

1755. Emma, you're the love of my life.

1756. I can't understand why I would have done

1757. anything to hurt you, especially not with fucking Misha.

1758. Jesus fucking Christ, like...

1759. - What the fuck does that mean? - Nothing.

1760. - Did you fuck him? - No, I didn't fuck him.

1761. - I don't even care. - No, he tried to fuck me.

1762. I wouldn't even care. Even if you had killed someone,

1763. I wouldn't even care. It wouldn't change anything

1764. about the way I feel about you.

1765. Yeah, I said stop.

1766. I love you more than anything in the world, and...

1767. Like, please, fucking stop.

1768. I never fucking knew about this...

1769. - I know, I just... - Jesus Christ,

1770. can you shut the fuck up?

1771. Blake! Calm down, calm down.

1772. Whoa. Hey. Hey, hey. Hey.

1773. Emma?

1774. Hello?

1775. No, she's not. She's not here either.

1776. I think she's with her parents.

1777. Her dad texted me, but...

1778. No, no one's answering their phones, so...

1779. Ugh! Fuck.

1780. Hey, Emma, I know you don't want to talk to me,

1781. but, um, can you just let me know if you're okay?

1782. I mean... Yeah, just text me.

1783. I love you.

1784. Did you sexually harass Misha?

1785. - What? - Yes or no.

1786. Um, I didn't harass her.

1787. Jesus!

1788. Goddamn it, Blake!

1789. Can you use your fucking words?

1790. Jesus!

1791. Have another drink! I fucking will!

1792. - Stop screaming! - Fuck you!

1793. Easy!

1794. - I'll fucking kill you! - Shut up! Shut up...

1795. Where is she?

1796. Fuck you!

1797. - Where's Emma? - Uh, she's... She's...

1798. No, not for me.

1799. You okay, hon? Yeah.

1800. What can I get for you?

1801. Cheeseburger and a Diet Coke, please.

1802. Hey.

1803. Hi.

1804. Hey.

1805. Can I sit?

1806. Yeah, of course.

1807. I'm sorry.

1808. I'm really sorry, Emma.

1809. Do you live around here?

1810. What?

1811. I come here sometimes, too,

1812. and I feel like I've seen you here before.

1813. I'm Emma, by the way.

1814. What's your name?

1815. I'm Charlie.

1816. I live, like, two blocks from here.

1817. Um, what happened to your face?

1818. I just got into this fight. Um...

1819. There was a woman being robbed,

1820. and I tried to save her just now.

1821. Yeah, this guy stole her baby from her stroller, actually,

1822. and, uh...

1823. he said he was gonna eat it.

1824. - Oh. - So I had to stop him.

1825. She was walking her baby in the middle of the night?

1826. Yeah, I kind of thought that was a bit strange, as well.

1827. That was very brave of you.

1828. Thanks.

1829. It's nice to meet you, Charlie.

1830. Uh, it's nice to meet you, Emma.