1. Mr. Dobson...Copy !req
2. it's time for us to do what the good Lord
would refer to as a cleansing of the wicked.Copy !req
3. And what my brother, George,
God rest his soul...Copy !req
4. used to call 100% Alabama ass-kicking.Copy !req
5. So you think we're gonna die here today?Copy !req
6. Dying's not an option.Copy !req
7. Now, you stick that back in that gray
matter of yours and you make that stick.Copy !req
8. 'Cause any other thought's gonna get you
cold-slabbed, toe-tagged...Copy !req
9. and mailed home to your mama
in a plastic bag. Are we crystal?Copy !req
10. Crystal, sir.Copy !req
11. Gentlemen!
Let's do what God made us to do!Copy !req
12. This is Sheriff John Quincey Wydell...Copy !req
13. of the Ruggsville County
Sheriff's Department.Copy !req
14. You're completely surrounded!Copy !req
15. You have no chance of escape!Copy !req
16. Now would be the time
to vacate the premises peacefully!Copy !req
17. Fuck.Copy !req
18. There's a million fucking cops.Copy !req
19. Come on.Copy !req
20. Otis, them fucking pigs are everywhere.Copy !req
21. Tell me something
I don't already fucking know.Copy !req
22. We gotta fucking do something!Copy !req
23. You're completely surrounded!
You have no chance of escape!Copy !req
24. I count 10 cars, about 45 pigs.Copy !req
25. I know, I know! Shit! Fuck! Shit! Fuck!Copy !req
26. Shit, where the fuck is Tiny?Copy !req
27. I ain't seen Tiny.Copy !req
28. Tiny? I think he went out last night.Copy !req
29. Look, everybody shut up.Copy !req
30. Mama, what's the matter?Copy !req
31. I keep thinking about old times.Copy !req
32. Like when you was a fucking baby.Copy !req
33. You know, you looked like an angel.Copy !req
34. I know, Mama,
you told me that a million times.Copy !req
35. Yeah.Copy !req
36. Gentlemen!Copy !req
37. On the count of three!Copy !req
38. - Ready?
- Yeah.Copy !req
39. One!Copy !req
40. - I love you, Mama.
- I love you, Baby.Copy !req
41. Two!Copy !req
42. Let's go.Copy !req
43. Three!Copy !req
44. Motherfuckers!Copy !req
45. Die, you fuckers!Copy !req
46. - Fuck, you okay?
- Yeah! You?Copy !req
47. Yeah. Fuck!Copy !req
48. Ready?Copy !req
49. Yeah, yeah, yeah, go, go!Copy !req
50. Hold your fire!Copy !req
51. - Dobson, get some tear gas in that house!
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
52. Mama!Copy !req
53. Come on! Come on! Let's go! Let's go!Copy !req
54. Do not fucking move!Copy !req
55. I advise you to lower that weapon.Copy !req
56. I'm sorry, Sheriff...Copy !req
57. but you ain't getting me.Copy !req
58. Looks like you ain't getting off that easy,
huh, bitch?Copy !req
59. All right, everybody, listen up!Copy !req
60. I want this place gone over
with a fine-toothed comb.Copy !req
61. Wherever these fuckers are,
they gotta be close.Copy !req
62. I am standing outside the perimeter...Copy !req
63. of what is turning out to be
the most horrific crime scene...Copy !req
64. since Jack the Ripper stalked
the streets of London.Copy !req
65. What police have uncovered reads like this:Copy !req
66. "Words can't describe it."Copy !req
67. "Human skulls used as ornaments."Copy !req
68. "Body parts stuffed in refrigerators."Copy !req
69. And I can't believe what it says here.
"A mass grave of decomposing bodies..."Copy !req
70. "Dumped under the crawl space
of the house."Copy !req
71. Hey, Chief.
You might want to check this out.Copy !req
72. - What?
- I don't know.Copy !req
73. Jesus H. Christ. The motherfucker.Copy !req
74. What? You recognize the clown?Copy !req
75. Yeah, his name is Spaulding.
Captain fucking Spaulding.Copy !req
76. Oh, yeah. Oh, yes. Give it. Give it to me.Copy !req
77. - Yeah!
- Yeah! Ride the horse, baby!Copy !req
78. - Ride it, ride it, yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- You're the Captain.Copy !req
79. Oh, yeah, honey! Give it to me.Copy !req
80. - You're the Captain. Come on, baby.
- Yes! Yes!Copy !req
81. Oh, ride it, baby. Ride it.
Ride it. Ride it. Feels so good.Copy !req
82. Yeah, give it up! Give it! Give it!Copy !req
83. - You're the Captain.
- Yeah! Oh, come on, baby!Copy !req
84. Ride it, oh, yeah! Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
85. Deeper, Daddy! Deeper!Copy !req
86. - Oh, yeah!
- Deeper, Daddy! Deeper!Copy !req
87. Oh, honey,
you're getting a good ride tonight.Copy !req
88. Next time you're gonna have to pay me.Copy !req
89. Did you just call me a fucking whore?Copy !req
90. I calls them like I sees them.Copy !req
91. Really? You think I'm a fucking whore?Copy !req
92. I don't think it, I know it.Copy !req
93. Whore this, fucker.Copy !req
94. Hey, hey, hey!
Come on now, baby, hold on.Copy !req
95. I'm just messing with you.
You know us clowns. We like to...Copy !req
96. We like to just fool around a bunch,
you know. Come on.Copy !req
97. Yeah.Copy !req
98. Laugh.Copy !req
99. Clown, laugh!Copy !req
100. Honey.Copy !req
101. What's the matter, bad dream?Copy !req
102. Yeah, 50-50.Copy !req
103. You wanna fool around some more?Copy !req
104. Oh, Jesus Christ, woman,
I gotta take a piss.Copy !req
105. No.Copy !req
106. Hey, didn't you get enough ass-banging
last night?Copy !req
107. God damn it, my dick is still sore.Copy !req
108. Come on, I'm horny.Copy !req
109. Most guys like that quality in a girl.Copy !req
110. Yeah, except you're acting like
some kind of spastic mongoloid in heat.Copy !req
111. - Fucking bitch.
- Hurry.Copy !req
112. - Where is it?
- Just calm down, it'll be on in a minute.Copy !req
113. - There it is.
- You're there.Copy !req
114. You look so sexy.Copy !req
115. Well, howdy, folks.
It's your pal Captain Spaulding again.Copy !req
116. Yes, I'm here to tell you
about a brand-new attraction.Copy !req
117. Mary the Monkey! Oh, yeah, that's right.Copy !req
118. This here little honey
is half real human, half monkey...Copy !req
119. I love that monkey.Copy !req
120. I brought all the way
from the wilds of Borneo.Copy !req
121. So y'all come in, make sure you bring
little Johnny and Suzy with you.Copy !req
122. She'll scare the holy guacamole
out of them.Copy !req
123. And remember, while you're down here...Copy !req
124. pick up your "Captain Spaulding
for President" T-shirt.Copy !req
125. Yes, yes.Copy !req
126. All shapes and...Copy !req
127. Hey, what the fuck? What the fuck is this?Copy !req
128. I paid good money
for this goddamn commercial.Copy !req
129. Sheriff, News Update.
What is the situation here now?Copy !req
130. - Situation?
- Yes, what's the situation?Copy !req
131. Now what? God damn it!Copy !req
132. Yeah, what?Copy !req
133. - Daddy, you gotta get out of there.
- What?Copy !req
134. The pigs hit us this morning real bad.
You gotta get out now.Copy !req
135. - Who's that?
- Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
136. They're gonna be coming for you, too.Copy !req
137. All right, all right. Just calm down, Baby.
Calm down, now.Copy !req
138. I'll meet you at the Kahiki Palms Motel,
just like we always planned.Copy !req
139. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
140. I'll be there as soon as I possibly can,
all right?Copy !req
141. All right, just go now.Copy !req
142. Poopie, what do you need a gun for?
Where are we going?Copy !req
143. You ain't going nowhere, bitch.Copy !req
144. - Poopie, I'm worried.
- Get out of my fucking way.Copy !req
145. If you're out there listening to this,
I got a message for you.Copy !req
146. I'm coming to get you.
And you can't run forever.Copy !req
147. You're gonna have to stop
somewhere, sometime.Copy !req
148. And when you do, I'm going to be there
to put the wrath of the Lord up your ass.Copy !req
149. Poopie, don't go.Copy !req
150. God damn it, stop calling me Poopie!Copy !req
151. - Leave me alone, woman!
- I want my Poopie.Copy !req
152. - Leave me alone!
- Poopie, no!Copy !req
153. In an attempt to help
the Ruggsville Police Department...Copy !req
154. we here at News Update would like to show
you these mug shots of the suspects...Copy !req
155. known to have escaped
during the raid earlier this morning.Copy !req
156. $100...Copy !req
157. $150...Copy !req
158. $175...Copy !req
159. $184?Copy !req
160. What? Candy!Copy !req
161. What?Copy !req
162. Candy, come on down here!Copy !req
163. Get... Come on, cut that out. Turn it off.Copy !req
164. Candy, come down here!Copy !req
165. Come on down here!Copy !req
166. All right, shit.Copy !req
167. What?Copy !req
168. This is bullshit, baby! What is this?Copy !req
169. What do you want me to say?
It's a slow fucking night, boss.Copy !req
170. All them farmers want
is a quickie hand job, and boom!Copy !req
171. $10.Copy !req
172. Back on their tractor,
save the real fucking for the sheep.Copy !req
173. Jesus, Candy,
you gotta figure a way to hook them in.Copy !req
174. You gotta hustle that pussy.Copy !req
175. Find a new angle,
and you might attract a higher clientele.Copy !req
176. Yeah, well,
I've been thinking about that, right?Copy !req
177. I was thinking about something spacy,
you know, like that Star Wars shit.Copy !req
178. You know, all them losers
wanna fuck Princess Leia, right?Copy !req
179. - I'd fuck her.
- Thank you.Copy !req
180. I don't know.Copy !req
181. You start messing with that spacy shit and
you'll really bring out some sick bitches.Copy !req
182. They'll all want to pretend they're robots.Copy !req
183. Last thing I need is horny robots
running around, tripping over shit.Copy !req
184. - Droids, boss, they call them droids.
- Whatever!Copy !req
185. I still say it's risky.Copy !req
186. Wong's Hong Kong Gardens,
Mr. Wong speaking.Copy !req
187. Cut the shit, Charlie. It's me, Cutter.Copy !req
188. I got a serious meltdown going on
down here and I need a place to cool out...Copy !req
189. so I'm coming down.Copy !req
190. Fuck, man, I don't think it's such
a great idea, you coming around here.Copy !req
191. I am coming down now.Copy !req
192. - Whoa, hold on. Hold it.
- Fuck.Copy !req
193. Hold it!Copy !req
194. Fuck.Copy !req
195. Man, I don't see him.Copy !req
196. Shit, where the fuck is he?Copy !req
197. Jesus, can we get over this already?Copy !req
198. I mean, I just don't find it funny anymore.Copy !req
199. I don't know. It's still pretty funny.Copy !req
200. I'd say so.Copy !req
201. I hate to be the one to tell you
"I told you so"...Copy !req
202. Then don't!Copy !req
203. But riding a mechanical bull
is not as easy as it looks.Copy !req
204. Technically, she had a pretty good ride.
Until tragedy struck.Copy !req
205. Hey, the lesson here is that...Copy !req
206. tube tops are not the proper attire
for bull riding, Gloria.Copy !req
207. I agree with you.Copy !req
208. You're gonna have to put a harness
on them little suckers, honey.Copy !req
209. Know how her titties were flapping around
when she was bouncing on that bull?Copy !req
210. My titties don't flap!Copy !req
211. They looked like two raccoons
in a gunnysack fighting to get out.Copy !req
212. Adam, shut up!Copy !req
213. When her top fell down,
I was going to pee myself!Copy !req
214. "I was going to pee myself!" You're just
jealous 'cause you don't have any titties.Copy !req
215. Oh, Gloria, come on.
No reason to get mean, now.Copy !req
216. Come on, honey.Copy !req
217. You had one titty going this way
and one titty going that way.Copy !req
218. It was pretty amazing.Copy !req
219. Chances are pretty high
you made a few fans that night.Copy !req
220. Oh shut up, dipshit.Copy !req
221. Well, I told Johnny Cash, and he said...Copy !req
222. Did you know
I shook hands with Johnny Cash once?Copy !req
223. Oh, Roy...Copy !req
224. how about, honey, you go find me
the ice machine, huh? I need a drink.Copy !req
225. Well, I'll get you the ice, but you gotta
promise us an encore tomorrow.Copy !req
226. Roy.Copy !req
227. You wish, honey. Don't you wish?Copy !req
228. The babies are going into seclusion.Copy !req
229. The leader of this group...Copy !req
230. who is somewhat of a local celebrity,
goes by the name of Captain Spaulding.Copy !req
231. Along with two other suspects,
known as Otis Driftwood...Copy !req
232. - Oh, shit! Fuck! Shit! Fuck!
- Calm down.Copy !req
233. police uncovered what they call...Copy !req
234. - Don't worry, I'll get us a room.
- Well, hurry the fuck up.Copy !req
235. - Fuck you!
- Fuck you!Copy !req
236. in the family's basement.Copy !req
237. Police revealed today that they believe...Copy !req
238. most of the victims were drugged,
kidnapped and sexually assaulted...Copy !req
239. - Damn it. Fuck.
- ... before they were murdered.Copy !req
240. Hey, Roy, I was doing some research
on that thing I was telling you about.Copy !req
241. - What thing?
- Rodeo clowning.Copy !req
242. Rodeo...Copy !req
243. A rodeo clown. You been smoking dope.Copy !req
244. Yeah. I mean, no, not right now.Copy !req
245. Let me tell you something.Copy !req
246. You spend one second in that pen...Copy !req
247. and that bull'd have his horn up your ass
and sticking out your pecker.Copy !req
248. That's exactly what I thought you'd say.Copy !req
249. You know, you can never be supportive
of anything I wanna do.Copy !req
250. What do you want me to say?Copy !req
251. That you're dressed for the part
and you're headed in the right direction?Copy !req
252. Well, Adam was saying...Copy !req
253. You know,
I've always been good with animals.Copy !req
254. I mean, dogs love me, and...Copy !req
255. isn't a horse kind of like a big dog?Copy !req
256. I don't know.Copy !req
257. No, you're not clown material.Copy !req
258. Forget it.Copy !req
259. I'm gonna walk on over to the gas station.
You want anything?Copy !req
260. No. Yes! Get me some of that beef jerky.Copy !req
261. Thanks for talking.Copy !req
262. You know, I could have been
on that pit crew down in North Carolina.Copy !req
263. Yeah.Copy !req
264. Hey, pussycat.Copy !req
265. Hey, got a light?Copy !req
266. No. I don't smoke.Copy !req
267. My doctor says
I got lungs like a professional athlete.Copy !req
268. Oh, I get it. You wanna live forever.Copy !req
269. Yeah. Yeah, well...Copy !req
270. So, what, are you
on vacation all by yourself or something?Copy !req
271. Yeah. No.Copy !req
272. I'm actually out here
with my singing group.Copy !req
273. I do the lead singing for it.
It's called Banjo and Sullivan.Copy !req
274. I used to sing with Johnny Cash.
He shook my hand.Copy !req
275. I love famous people.Copy !req
276. They're so much better than the real thing,
you know?Copy !req
277. Well, yeah, I suppose they are.Copy !req
278. I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.Copy !req
279. Would you say that again?Copy !req
280. I bet all the girls wanna fuck you.Copy !req
281. Do you kiss your mama with that mouth?Copy !req
282. Trust me, fellow, that ain't the only thing
I do with this mouth.Copy !req
283. Don't tell me that.
You said what? Say that again.Copy !req
284. That ain't the only thing I do
with this mouth.Copy !req
285. It's so depressing. Well, let's
talk about some of the symbols...Copy !req
286. of these groups, like the inverted cross,
or the pentagram, or the number 666...Copy !req
287. left at the scene of the crime.
What do you think about that?Copy !req
288. This is not an isolated incident.Copy !req
289. Well, members of these cults realize they
have no chance of attacking God directly.Copy !req
290. So the next best thing...Copy !req
291. Oh, hey, Adam,
could you switch this for me?Copy !req
292. I just can't stand
to hear about this anymore.Copy !req
293. Do I look like Roy?Copy !req
294. I'm Sullivan.Copy !req
295. Roy Sullivan.Copy !req
296. Well, Roy Sullivan...Copy !req
297. you gonna take me back to your room
and play with me?Copy !req
298. My wife's in that room.Copy !req
299. Or is my brother gonna have to shoot
your fucking teeth out of your head?Copy !req
300. What?Copy !req
301. Okay let's go, Hoss, move it.Copy !req
302. Just makes me sick to my stomach...Copy !req
303. to think that we live in a world
where there are satanic cults.Copy !req
304. Come on, Gloria, it's a bunch of crap.Copy !req
305. - I don't know.
- Well, look at these two idiots.Copy !req
306. They're just exaggerating all this shit
to try and kick up ratings.Copy !req
307. They wanna get people scared,
so they stay at home and buy TV dinners.Copy !req
308. Fuck me running.Copy !req
309. I don't know about that yet.
Been busy down in Ruggsville.Copy !req
310. Ruggsville? Ruggsville can kiss my ass.Copy !req
311. Ain't nothing but a bunch of local
cousin-fuckers corn-holing the livestock.Copy !req
312. Could you just
switch it for me anyway, please?Copy !req
313. Jesus Christ, I don't know
how Roy puts up with your shit.Copy !req
314. What is taking Roy so long anyway?Copy !req
315. Hey, whoa.Copy !req
316. On the bed! Now! Get on the bed!Copy !req
317. - Whoa, easy with that.
- Get on the bed!Copy !req
318. Easy.Copy !req
319. - What's going on here, Roy?
- Shut up!Copy !req
320. Quiet! Quiet!Copy !req
321. - Roy, what the hell is this?
- Shit.Copy !req
322. God damn it, look at that jacket!Copy !req
323. - What?
- On TV.Copy !req
324. Well, fuck the TV.Copy !req
325. Fuck the TV? Fuck you!Copy !req
326. Hey, fuck you! Will you just keep your head
on the business at hand here?Copy !req
327. - Who's in the shower?
- Oh, that's my wife.Copy !req
328. - God damn it! Or what?
- Don't fucking touch her!Copy !req
329. I'm sorry, what are you gonna do, man?
What the fuck are you gonna do?Copy !req
330. I want to know,
what the fuck are you gonna do?Copy !req
331. Wendy!Copy !req
332. Get the fuck out here! Come on!Copy !req
333. Don't hurt her, please.Copy !req
334. Now, is this everyone?Copy !req
335. Hey, Roy. Open up.Copy !req
336. I got some of that
Dr. Corndog's hickory-smoked jerky.Copy !req
337. Who the fuck is that?Copy !req
338. That's Jimmy. He's our roadie.
I forgot all about him.Copy !req
339. Baby, are you all right?Copy !req
340. Now I know I can't trust you.Copy !req
341. I'll go.Copy !req
342. Hey.Copy !req
343. I'm sorry, I got the wrong room.
I'm looking for Room number 2.Copy !req
344. No. You got the right room. Come on in.Copy !req
345. - Is Roy in there?
- Roy's in here, all right. Come on in.Copy !req
346. Get your ass in here! On your knees!Copy !req
347. Roy, help.Copy !req
348. Shut up!Copy !req
349. Shut up!Copy !req
350. We're at the scene of a horrific multiple
murder. No telling just how many victims...Copy !req
351. God damn it! Fuck!Copy !req
352. office is in the process
of recovering the corpses...Copy !req
353. which are in varying states
of decomposition.Copy !req
354. It's certainly being treated as a site of a
mass homicide. If initial figures prove...Copy !req
355. Come on, honey,
Mommy has to get to work.Copy !req
356. If I'm late one more time,
Mr. McDonald is going to can my ass.Copy !req
357. I am hurrying.
Hold on, I dropped something.Copy !req
358. Will you get in the car?Copy !req
359. Come on, let's go get in.Copy !req
360. Hey, Mom, a clown.Copy !req
361. Yeah, yeah, a clown.Copy !req
362. Oh, hi.Copy !req
363. Hi. I'm going to have
to be taking your car today.Copy !req
364. See, I have some
top-secret clown business...Copy !req
365. that supersedes any plans
that you might have for this here vehicle.Copy !req
366. What's that about clown business?Copy !req
367. Do I stutter, bitch?Copy !req
368. Jamie, get in the car. Lock the door.Copy !req
369. Where the hell you going, damn it?Copy !req
370. Don't you never turn your back on
a fucking clown when he's talking to you!Copy !req
371. Get your fucking hands off of me!Copy !req
372. What's the matter, kid?
Don't you like clowns?Copy !req
373. Why?Copy !req
374. Don't we make you laugh?Copy !req
375. Aren't we fucking funny?Copy !req
376. You best come up with an answer,
'cause I'm gonna come back here...Copy !req
377. and check on you and your mama.Copy !req
378. If you ain't got a reason
why you hate clowns...Copy !req
379. I'm gonna kill your whole fucking family.Copy !req
380. All right, now get your fucking ass
out the car! Go on! Yeah, yeah!Copy !req
381. Shit!Copy !req
382. Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees...Copy !req
383. look at these.Copy !req
384. those who come to you with open heart.Copy !req
385. Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees...Copy !req
386. look at these.Copy !req
387. Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees...Copy !req
388. look at these.Copy !req
389. Chinese, Japanese, dirty knees...Copy !req
390. look at these.Copy !req
391. Hoss, are you staring at my sister,
thinking bad thoughts?Copy !req
392. No.Copy !req
393. - Why not? You a faggot?
- No.Copy !req
394. Well, what are you?
I mean, you got this hot piece of ass...Copy !req
395. shaking her shit right in front of you
and you're not getting any ideas?Copy !req
396. What do you call that?Copy !req
397. I'm a married man.Copy !req
398. A married fucking man.
Hey, that's just great.Copy !req
399. Well, let's give him
a big round of applause, folks...Copy !req
400. for the married man. Come on.Copy !req
401. - All right.
- Married man.Copy !req
402. Okay, mama, front and center, on your feet.Copy !req
403. Don't hurt her.Copy !req
404. Get on your feet. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
405. - Please, mister, this is insane.
- Boy...Copy !req
406. the next word out of your mouth better be
some brilliant fucking Mark Twain shit...Copy !req
407. 'cause it's definitely getting chiseled
on your tombstone.Copy !req
408. Okay, come on, mama. Take that shit off.Copy !req
409. Let's see what's been holding
Hoss' balls at attention all these years.Copy !req
410. - What?
- What?Copy !req
411. Take off your clothes,
or one of these assholes is going to die.Copy !req
412. Come on, come on.Copy !req
413. Shit, way to go, Roy. She ain't too bad!Copy !req
414. She got a tight little ass on her.Copy !req
415. Yeah, she's got some child-bearing hips.Copy !req
416. Yeah, hey.Copy !req
417. - Please don't hurt me.
- Here.Copy !req
418. Jeez, Roy, I'm beginning to see
what you mean. Whoa.Copy !req
419. Please don't hurt me.Copy !req
420. You like this, don't you?Copy !req
421. Say, "Yes, I do."Copy !req
422. You like that, don't you? Say, "Yes, I do."Copy !req
423. Yes, I do.Copy !req
424. Yes, I do.Copy !req
425. Yes, I do.Copy !req
426. Oh, yeah. Okay, now.Copy !req
427. Give me some sugar.Copy !req
428. Make it sweet. You don't want me
to tense up my trigger finger.Copy !req
429. Finger's getting a little tense.Copy !req
430. Say what I want you to say.Copy !req
431. You're my devil.
I want you to make me my filthy whore.Copy !req
432. Come on, say it. Come on.Copy !req
433. I know you're feeling it.Copy !req
434. I know you're feeling it. Say it.Copy !req
435. You're my devil...Copy !req
436. and I want you to make me
your fucking whore.Copy !req
437. Oh, you make me sick!Copy !req
438. I feel like we're all
really getting to know each other now.Copy !req
439. All right, ladies,
me and the boys have an errand to run.Copy !req
440. We'll be back in a little while.
Come on, Hoss, move it, let's go.Copy !req
441. Come on, shit stain. Gotta go.Copy !req
442. Come on, come on, God damn it.Copy !req
443. Authorities struggle to comprehend
the grisly remains found in...Copy !req
444. what is now being called the most
heinous crime in American history.Copy !req
445. The group responsible for these murders
is now being referred to as...Copy !req
446. The Devil's Rejects by the local media.Copy !req
447. A woman known only as Mother Firefly
was taken into police custody today...Copy !req
448. after a violent gun battle with police that
left four officers dead and seven wounded.Copy !req
449. I'm Derek Sanderson,
bringing the world to your doorstep.Copy !req
450. Open the gate.Copy !req
451. Ma'am...Copy !req
452. my name is Sheriff John Quincey Wydell.Copy !req
453. Let's see. Who do we got here?Copy !req
454. Miss Gloria Teasdale...Copy !req
455. alias Eve Wilson...Copy !req
456. alias Southern Betty Woods...Copy !req
457. Betsy Woods.Copy !req
458. And of course, alias Mother Firefly.Copy !req
459. He can read. Congratulations.Copy !req
460. Four counts of grand theft auto...Copy !req
461. five counts armed robbery.Copy !req
462. What's this?Copy !req
463. Looks like your specialty...Copy !req
464. 17 counts solicitation and prostitution.Copy !req
465. You've been one busy whore.Copy !req
466. I bet them old farm boys love you.Copy !req
467. Everyone loves me.Copy !req
468. Don't you pretend...Copy !req
469. you don't fancy me.Copy !req
470. Oh, yes, ma'am. I find
you quite irresistible.Copy !req
471. - Dobson.
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
472. - Put them books over there.
- You got it.Copy !req
473. Ma'am, do you recognize these books here?Copy !req
474. Yeah.Copy !req
475. Ain't she an angel?Copy !req
476. Well, she gonna be one dead angel
when I catch up to her.Copy !req
477. You, your whole clan, you dead already.Copy !req
478. You're just ghosts, just waiting to expire.Copy !req
479. And the way I figure it...Copy !req
480. the only choice you got is to cooperate
and tell me where they are.Copy !req
481. That way your little angel over there...Copy !req
482. don't have to die like no dog
in the streets when I catch her.Copy !req
483. - Are you done trying to scare me?
- No, ma'am.Copy !req
484. As God is my witness...Copy !req
485. I have only just begun.Copy !req
486. Oh.Copy !req
487. Sheriff, can I show you something?Copy !req
488. I'll need this book here.Copy !req
489. I did never get around to putting these
in the book proper.Copy !req
490. But I thought...Copy !req
491. you might enjoy them.Copy !req
492. You know...Copy !req
493. he was a real sweetie pie.Copy !req
494. Tall. Big mustache.Copy !req
495. Bald head. You know, I feel kind of bad...Copy !req
496. about blowing his brains out.Copy !req
497. 'Cause he seemed like such a nice man.Copy !req
498. I think he said...Copy !req
499. his name was also Wydell.Copy !req
500. Was he kin to you?Copy !req
501. Listen to me.
You better listen to me good.Copy !req
502. I'm gonna kill every member of your family.Copy !req
503. I'm gonna hunt them down
like the animals they are...Copy !req
504. and I'm gonna skin them alive.Copy !req
505. They are gonna feel the pain
and the suffering of every last victim.Copy !req
506. They're gonna crawl
on their hands and knees...Copy !req
507. and they're gonna beg me for mercy.Copy !req
508. But all I'm gonna have for them is pain.
Pain and death!Copy !req
509. Well, you go get them, Sheriff!Copy !req
510. Go get your ghosts!Copy !req
511. Them ghosts are gonna
crawl right up in your head!Copy !req
512. Sheriff!Copy !req
513. You found yourself into something
you ain't never getting out of!Copy !req
514. We'll get you! We'll get you!Copy !req
515. We'll get you! You're dead, Sheriff!Copy !req
516. You're dead!Copy !req
517. I'll see you in fucking hell!Copy !req
518. Hey, Hoss, you like this song?Copy !req
519. Do you like this song?Copy !req
520. I don't know. Yeah, I guess so.Copy !req
521. Oh, really?Copy !req
522. - Which way?
- Take a right.Copy !req
523. So you like that Top 40 shit?Copy !req
524. And I thought you were like
some kind of true blue-balls...Copy !req
525. Ernest Tubb country fucker or something.Copy !req
526. You're nothing but a city faggot
with a cowboy hat.Copy !req
527. Stop here.Copy !req
528. Okay, get out.Copy !req
529. This way. Go ahead.Copy !req
530. Follow the yellow brick road.Copy !req
531. That's right.Copy !req
532. Go on.Copy !req
533. You know, Hoss, if I'm not mistaken...Copy !req
534. I think I can still smell
your wife's pussy stink on my gun.Copy !req
535. Hope it doesn't rust the barrel.Copy !req
536. Oh, man.Copy !req
537. You know, the stress of the day
is really setting in on me.Copy !req
538. Would you guys happen to know how a guy
like me could relieve some tension?Copy !req
539. Maybe... I think your wife, Wendy...Copy !req
540. boy, looks like
she could relieve some tension.Copy !req
541. - Mister, where are we going?
- Got them little titties.Copy !req
542. Oh, we're going down the road here.Copy !req
543. Little titties, she's
got a tight little ass.Copy !req
544. Does she like it when you puke?
I mean, is that part of your deal?Copy !req
545. Where are you taking us?Copy !req
546. Well, I guess it wouldn't do no harm
to tell you now.Copy !req
547. See, we're going to go dig up some guns
I buried out here a couple of years ago.Copy !req
548. Then what?Copy !req
549. Well there ain't no what.
That's the end of the road.Copy !req
550. What?Copy !req
551. You're not going to kill us, are you?Copy !req
552. Well, killing sounds so permanent.Copy !req
553. We did everything you want, mister.
Why don't you just let us go?Copy !req
554. We did what you said.Copy !req
555. Well, you know, first of all,
I didn't say anything.Copy !req
556. And second of all, I'm calling the shots!Copy !req
557. Consider me fucking Willy fucking Wonka!
This is my fucking chocolate factory!Copy !req
558. You got it? My factory!Copy !req
559. Get him, Roy!Copy !req
560. Grab the gun, Roy!Copy !req
561. Roy!Copy !req
562. Please, mister, stop. Please, stop.Copy !req
563. Stop? Bitch, I have just started.Copy !req
564. You know, I was going to
take it easy on you, boy.Copy !req
565. But you brought this down on yourself.Copy !req
566. You had to come all fucking big stick,
walking tall like a big fucking hero.Copy !req
567. Got yourself to blame, hero.
Look at you now, hero.Copy !req
568. You're gonna fucking bleed to death.Copy !req
569. Fuck you.Copy !req
570. That's what they all say. "Fuck you."Copy !req
571. Well, it ain't going to save you.Copy !req
572. It don't scare me none and
it don't suddenly make you a fucking hero!Copy !req
573. Want to see what happens to heroes, boy?Copy !req
574. You want to see bad ass, motherfucker?
I'll show you bad ass!Copy !req
575. Roy! Roy!Copy !req
576. Hoss, I want you to pray to your God.Copy !req
577. I want you to pray
that he comes and saves you.Copy !req
578. I want lightning to come down
and crash upon my fucking head!Copy !req
579. - Jesus.
- Louder!Copy !req
580. Bless the bunnies,
bless the little birds...Copy !req
581. - bless the...
- I don't feel anything!Copy !req
582. Bless the springtime morning and...Copy !req
583. I feel it! Oh, great God
almighty, I repent! I repent!Copy !req
584. Oh, I feel the love
of the God! Oh, God almighty!Copy !req
585. Oh, the Holy Spirit is in my body.Copy !req
586. I am the devil
and I am here to do the devil's work.Copy !req
587. Roy! Roy!Copy !req
588. Roy!Copy !req
589. Roy!Copy !req
590. You fucking motherfucker! Son of a bitch!Copy !req
591. I've got other plans for you, hero!Copy !req
592. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
593. Can I go to the bathroom, please?
I'm about to piss myself.Copy !req
594. Excuse me.Copy !req
595. Can she go to the bathroom? Please?Copy !req
596. What? I heard you the first time.Copy !req
597. I was just thinking,
what are you gonna do for me?Copy !req
598. What?Copy !req
599. You could go piss yourself for all I care.Copy !req
600. If you want special favors,
you gotta give me something in return.Copy !req
601. What do you want?Copy !req
602. I want you to hit her in the face.Copy !req
603. - What?
- I know you heard me.Copy !req
604. Go ahead.Copy !req
605. Go on.Copy !req
606. Make it hurt, no love
taps. I want to hear it.Copy !req
607. Harder. She ain't gonna break.Copy !req
608. You better make this next one
fucking count!Copy !req
609. Good. Very nice. Now you come here.Copy !req
610. Right here. Kneel down.Copy !req
611. Give me a kiss and say,
"Thank you, Baby, I'm having a great time."Copy !req
612. Thanks, Baby, I had a really good time.Copy !req
613. Now make it fast, bitch!Copy !req
614. Don't try anything cute!Copy !req
615. Shit.Copy !req
616. Now what do you wanna do?Copy !req
617. Help!Copy !req
618. Damn it, I knew that fucking cunt
would do something stupid!Copy !req
619. Shut up! Open the fucking door!Copy !req
620. Open the goddamn door!Copy !req
621. Hold it! Hold it!Copy !req
622. Please, somebody help me!Copy !req
623. What are you gonna do, shoot me?Copy !req
624. What did I ever really do to you?Copy !req
625. I swear I'll do it.Copy !req
626. I'll kill you.Copy !req
627. Why would you wanna kill me?Copy !req
628. I'm your only hope. My brother's
fucking crazy, you've seen him.Copy !req
629. Please!Copy !req
630. Wendy, it's all right! Come on out!Copy !req
631. Go ahead, shoot me.
Shoot me right in the ass.Copy !req
632. Stupid cunt. Ain't no
bullets in this thing.Copy !req
633. It's all fucking mind power.Copy !req
634. Help me! Somebody! Please! Please!Copy !req
635. Help! Help me!Copy !req
636. Help me!Copy !req
637. Help me!Copy !req
638. - Whoa, darling.
- She's crazy!Copy !req
639. Daddy, grab that bitch!Copy !req
640. Hey, Chief, I think I got something.Copy !req
641. - What?
- This Captain Spaulding guy.Copy !req
642. Captain Spaulding is a character from
Animal Crackers, the Marx Brothers movie.Copy !req
643. Well, I'll be damned.Copy !req
644. You think it means anything?Copy !req
645. I don't know.Copy !req
646. I'll tell you what,
you get that movie critic over here.Copy !req
647. - What's his name?
- Marty Walker?Copy !req
648. Yeah, that's him. You tell him
to get his ass over here as soon as he can.Copy !req
649. Tell him to bring whatever information
he's got about the Marx brothers...Copy !req
650. particularly characters Groucho played
in his movies.Copy !req
651. All right. I'll get right on it.Copy !req
652. This shit's just getting
weirder and weirder.Copy !req
653. Shit, Daddy,
I didn't think you were coming.Copy !req
654. No, I'm cool.Copy !req
655. Where the fuck is Otis?Copy !req
656. Ain't back from
getting the guns and shit yet.Copy !req
657. You wanna fuck with me, huh, bitch?Copy !req
658. You ain't got what it takes.Copy !req
659. He fucks this up,
I'm gonna kill that motherfucker.Copy !req
660. Can you believe this bitch had
the fucking balls to try and fuck with me?Copy !req
661. Oh, Coggs. Nice of you to make it.Copy !req
662. You enjoying your meal?Copy !req
663. What? I gotta eat.Copy !req
664. If my blood sugar gets off,
I'm not going to be good to anybody.Copy !req
665. - You ain't no good to nobody anyhow.
- Listen here.Copy !req
666. That movie expert guy's here. You want to
talk to him? You want me to bring him in?Copy !req
667. All right, all right,
I'm getting right on it.Copy !req
668. Mr. Walker, come on in, please.Copy !req
669. Sheriff Wydell, it's a pleasure.Copy !req
670. I rushed right over
as soon as I got your call.Copy !req
671. You came to the right man.Copy !req
672. I happen to be a self-proclaimed
Marx brothers expert, if I say so myself.Copy !req
673. Well, I'm sure
your knowledge of bullshit is limitless.Copy !req
674. Why don't we get to the point?
What do you got for me?Copy !req
675. Well, I got a fucking
grocery list for you...Copy !req
676. of all the major Marx brothers characters
and related characters.Copy !req
677. And I made a secondary list of any
and all films having to do with Groucho...Copy !req
678. including such gems as
A Girl in Every Port and Skidoo...Copy !req
679. where Groucho played the part of God!Copy !req
680. Directed by Otto Preminger,
who happened to be Jewish!Copy !req
681. Although he played a Nazi commandant
in Stalag 17, directed by Billy Wilder...Copy !req
682. Otto Preminger also directed Exodus.Copy !req
683. And it's rumored that at the premiere
Mort Sahl stood up...Copy !req
684. yelled at the screen,
"Otto, let my people go!"Copy !req
685. Give me that damn list.Copy !req
686. It's ironic, don't you think?
Nazi in the State of Israel.Copy !req
687. They're all here. All the aliases.Copy !req
688. Rufus Firefly, Otis Driftwood...Copy !req
689. - Captain Spaulding, all of them.
- Hey, Chief.Copy !req
690. You know, I'm thinking we ought to
track down this Groucho Marx guy...Copy !req
691. ask him a few questions.
Maybe he's involved.Copy !req
692. Idiot, he died last year.Copy !req
693. - He died, didn't he?
- Oh, God damn it.Copy !req
694. God damn it. See, that right there is one
sad pathetic state of cinematic affairs.Copy !req
695. If you weren't a cop, I'd wring your neck.Copy !req
696. Hey, hey. Let's take that down a notch.Copy !req
697. Excuse me! Excuse me!Copy !req
698. That sneering, rotating, gyrating pelvis
son of a bitch...Copy !req
699. he died three days before Groucho,
stole all the goddamn headlines.Copy !req
700. That goddamn fucking Elvis Presley!Copy !req
701. What did you say about the King?Copy !req
702. - I said he died three days before Groucho...
- Cunt!Copy !req
703. You ever say another derogatory word
about Elvis Aron Presley...Copy !req
704. in my presence again,
I will kick the living shit out of you!Copy !req
705. Now you get this
Hollywood-loving pussy out of my face!Copy !req
706. - Elvis was in Hollywood!
- Get the hell out of here!Copy !req
707. - His first film, Love me Tender...
- Get out!Copy !req
708. was based on the Irish folk song.Copy !req
709. Fuck Groucho!Copy !req
710. Would you fucking knock?Copy !req
711. Where the fuck you been?Copy !req
712. Did you get everything?Copy !req
713. Yeah, I got everything.Copy !req
714. You motherfucker,
where the fuck have you been?Copy !req
715. Hey!Copy !req
716. You got a problem with my time frame, Son,
you best spit it out right now!Copy !req
717. Yeah, I got a problem.
I got a big fucking problem, Bozo!Copy !req
718. Well, make your move, Heidi! Two hits.Copy !req
719. I hit you and your dick
hits the fucking dirt.Copy !req
720. Old man, you ain't hitting nothing!Copy !req
721. Come on, cut the shit,
we gotta get the fuck out of here!Copy !req
722. What are we gonna do with this one?Copy !req
723. Leave her for a maid to clean up.Copy !req
724. I got a better idea.Copy !req
725. We regret to inform you
that your Banjo and Sullivan show...Copy !req
726. will be canceled for tonight.Copy !req
727. No, please! No, please don't, please!Copy !req
728. Housekeeping.Copy !req
729. Housekeeping.Copy !req
730. Help me! Help me!Copy !req
731. Help me!Copy !req
732. Help! Help! Help!Copy !req
733. Help me!Copy !req
734. Jesus Christ, what a fucking mess.Copy !req
735. A 40-ton truck has a tendency
of doing that, Kenny.Copy !req
736. Listen, you mind
getting one of your donut brigade...Copy !req
737. to go on over there,
scoop up some of that skull matter...Copy !req
738. put it in a bag for the meds?Copy !req
739. Yeah, you got it.Copy !req
740. Is that the lady who found her?Copy !req
741. Yeah, the maid. Miss Maria Gomez.Copy !req
742. - She say anything?
- Yeah, a lot of things.Copy !req
743. But I don't speak-a no Spanish.Copy !req
744. It's all mumbo-jumbo to me.Copy !req
745. Shit, what am I,
mayor of Tijuana or something?Copy !req
746. Got one guy.Copy !req
747. Clarkson, he speaks Spanish.Copy !req
748. But he called in sick.Copy !req
749. With what he calls explosive diarrhea.Copy !req
750. Would you mind sparing me
any further details...Copy !req
751. about your deputy's asshole, Kenny?Copy !req
752. Señorita Gomez?Copy !req
753. No.Copy !req
754. What did I tell you? She's useless.Copy !req
755. Hey, Chief.Copy !req
756. Got a couple of shit-kickers over there,
says they're here to meet you.Copy !req
757. - Recognize those guys?
- Yeah, I know them.Copy !req
758. What's going on, shitheads?Copy !req
759. Sheriff.Copy !req
760. Here's a list of names
I need you to run down for me.Copy !req
761. That's a funny-ass name.Copy !req
762. Yeah? Look who's fucking talking, Rondo.Copy !req
763. Just call me if anything connects.Copy !req
764. I'm sure it will.Copy !req
765. Shit always floats our
way, don't it, Chief?Copy !req
766. Well, you keep your mouth open wide
enough, maybe you'll catch it all.Copy !req
767. Don't fuck this up, assholes.Copy !req
768. Have fun scraping all them brains up
off the road.Copy !req
769. See you later, Kenny.Copy !req
770. This is bullshit.Copy !req
771. You know, I trust that fucker Charlie
about as much as I trust you.Copy !req
772. Where the hell do you get off
talking shit about Charlie?Copy !req
773. Hey, I know what I know,
and I know I don't like that nut sack.Copy !req
774. Well, unless you got a better suggestion...Copy !req
775. I suggest
you keep your fucking pie-hole shut.Copy !req
776. That is the only remotely safe place
I know about.Copy !req
777. Hey, man, if anyone's interested...Copy !req
778. I think I might be wanting some ice cream
in about 10 miles.Copy !req
779. "Hey, man, I think I'm gonna be wanting
some ice cream in about 10 miles."Copy !req
780. Don't you fucking imitate me.
It's fucking rude!Copy !req
781. "I know what I know,
and I know I don't like that nut sack!"Copy !req
782. - Fuck you!
- Fuck you!Copy !req
783. Two fucking seconds for the kid,
is that going to kill you?Copy !req
784. Yes, it is going to kill me.Copy !req
785. I have calculated the time,
and two seconds...Copy !req
786. is the exact amount of time
that's a hazard to my fucking health!Copy !req
787. Come on. Don't be such a fucking drag.
I'm starving.Copy !req
788. Eat this!Copy !req
789. What is your fucking problem?
I'm in and out in two seconds.Copy !req
790. You know, I think I'm gonna get me
some tutti-fucking-frutti.Copy !req
791. Tutti-fucking-frutti. That sounds good.Copy !req
792. - Tutti-fucking-frutti!
- Shut up!Copy !req
793. Tutti-fucking-frutti!Copy !req
794. - Shut up!
- Tutti-fucking-frutti!Copy !req
795. Tutti-fucking-frutti!Copy !req
796. Listen, there is no fucking ice cream
in your fucking future!Copy !req
797. Delicious.Copy !req
798. I don't know why you have to be
such a grouch. This is really good.Copy !req
799. Here, have some.Copy !req
800. Fuck you.Copy !req
801. Tutti-fucking-frutti.Copy !req
802. Hey, piggy.Copy !req
803. Yeah, over here, come on. Come and get it.Copy !req
804. Yes, Mr. Wy-fucking-dell.Copy !req
805. Piggy, come over here and get some.Copy !req
806. Don't fucking move, clown.Copy !req
807. You looking for somebody?Copy !req
808. George?Copy !req
809. What the hell you doing down here,
George?Copy !req
810. - I live here now.
- No.Copy !req
811. You got that all wrong, George.
I mean, this ain't your home.Copy !req
812. I got no choice, Johnny.Copy !req
813. This here is my fate.Copy !req
814. I cannot rest until this
whole thing is over.Copy !req
815. And I'm asking you, brother.Copy !req
816. Kill them, John. End this shit now.Copy !req
817. I'm walking the line on this, brother.
I'm walking the line.Copy !req
818. Well, Mother, pin a rose on me.
That is so great.Copy !req
819. I want these motherfuckers dead.Copy !req
820. - Kill them!
- I'm sorry, George.Copy !req
821. - Yeah.
- Hey.Copy !req
822. I think I found your guy. Yeah.Copy !req
823. A friend of mine, about 10 years ago...Copy !req
824. he used to buy hooch from this guy
out way here.Copy !req
825. Went by the name of Wolf J. Flywheel.Copy !req
826. Yeah.
But his partner called himself The Captain.Copy !req
827. Sounds like the fuckers we're looking for.Copy !req
828. Yeah, Wolf J. Flywheel.
That name's on the list.Copy !req
829. Apparently now Wolf J.
goes by the name of...Copy !req
830. Charlie Altamont.Copy !req
831. All right, good. You know what to do.Copy !req
832. We wouldn't be talking if I didn't.Copy !req
833. So, is the shit on?Copy !req
834. The shit is on.Copy !req
835. Fucking A.Copy !req
836. Open the door, Deputy.Copy !req
837. Take the night off, Freddy.
I'll watch the prisoner.Copy !req
838. Well, well, well.Copy !req
839. Working late tonight, aren't we, Sheriff?Copy !req
840. What's the matter?Copy !req
841. Can't sleep?
Peril running loose in the streets?Copy !req
842. Or did you just miss Mama?Copy !req
843. As a matter of fact,
I was feeling kind of lonely.Copy !req
844. I knew you couldn't stay away.Copy !req
845. I got that power over men.Copy !req
846. Women like me are a rare breed.Copy !req
847. - Don't you agree?
- Oh, yes, ma'am, I do.Copy !req
848. I ain't been broken, you know.Copy !req
849. Men like that.Copy !req
850. You got me going this afternoon.Copy !req
851. You think you can break me?Copy !req
852. You like it rough?Copy !req
853. Oh, honey...Copy !req
854. you can have it any way you want.Copy !req
855. I don't want it rough.Copy !req
856. I like it hot...Copy !req
857. and slow.Copy !req
858. Hot...Copy !req
859. and slow.Copy !req
860. Hot...Copy !req
861. and slow.Copy !req
862. Real hot.Copy !req
863. - You like that, Mama?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
864. You like that, Mama?Copy !req
865. Check this place out.Copy !req
866. I know that ain't Cutter...Copy !req
867. walking towards me with that stupid grin!Copy !req
868. 'Cause I know I swore
if I ever saw that dumb cunt...Copy !req
869. no-good, piece-of-shit,
motherfucking brother of mine...Copy !req
870. he'd soon be a dead piece-of-shit...Copy !req
871. no-good, motherfucking brother of mine.Copy !req
872. Okay, everybody in the peanut gallery,
Simon says hands up.Copy !req
873. He said, put your fucking hands up!Copy !req
874. What the fuck is this shit?Copy !req
875. You bring us all the way out here
and this prick pulls a gun on us?Copy !req
876. Nice fucking plan, Daisy!Copy !req
877. Just do it, you crazy, pig-fucking...Copy !req
878. What did you call me?Copy !req
879. Well, if you gave me a chance,
I was going to call you...Copy !req
880. a crazy, pig-fucking,
dumb-ass, pussy piece of shit!Copy !req
881. Oh, brother, you's a dead man.Copy !req
882. Ain't that the most goddamn
realest water gun you ever did see?Copy !req
883. Oh, shit, that was great, man.Copy !req
884. Sorry about that. It's just a little game
we used to always play on folks.Copy !req
885. - And it still works!
- Hell yeah!Copy !req
886. That's a fucking hoot.Copy !req
887. Charlie, this is my daughter, Baby.Copy !req
888. - My niece?
- Yes!Copy !req
889. Oh, you all grown up!
Give me some love, Baby!Copy !req
890. And you remember happy boy here.Copy !req
891. Are you still an asshole?Copy !req
892. Hey, this is Casey, my most limber lady.Copy !req
893. And this is Candy, my special lady...Copy !req
894. and my top-earning gal.Copy !req
895. What you looking at?Copy !req
896. - I'm looking at you, mama.
- Yeah, you see something you like?Copy !req
897. Maybe. I set my standards pretty low,
so I'm never disappointed.Copy !req
898. Oh, well, I don't disappoint.Copy !req
899. Well, fuck, let's go inside!Copy !req
900. No sense standing around like
stone-foot roosters in a fuck farm!Copy !req
901. - Let's celebrate.
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
902. You know, I gotta tell you...Copy !req
903. that's some catch phrase you got there.Copy !req
904. Devil's Rejects.Copy !req
905. What,
you got something to say to me, clown?Copy !req
906. I bet you scare lots of folks, don't you?Copy !req
907. Yeah, you a regular fucking killer.Copy !req
908. You want a piece of this, motherfucker?
You want a piece of this?Copy !req
909. What you got? What you got?Copy !req
910. Lord, I am your arm of justice.Copy !req
911. Lord, I am your arm of justice.Copy !req
912. Lord...Copy !req
913. I am your arm of justice.Copy !req
914. Your righteous sword of vengeance.Copy !req
915. Let my blows be true.Copy !req
916. Lord have mercy, what a morning!Copy !req
917. - Clevon?
- Yeah, boss?Copy !req
918. You know why I come here
to get these chickens?Copy !req
919. No, boss.Copy !req
920. 'Cause my brother makes
the best fried chicken in the world.Copy !req
921. Is that right?Copy !req
922. Yeah. Good morning, good morning, sir.
How are you?Copy !req
923. How y'all doing? Good morning.Copy !req
924. Good, good, good. What you got for me?Copy !req
925. Well, we got these...Copy !req
926. - real cute Barred Rock chickens here.
- Yeah, I see them.Copy !req
927. Got them nice long-legged
Rhode Island Red chickens.Copy !req
928. - Rhode Island Red? Oh, I like them!
- Them's are nice.Copy !req
929. I want a Rhode Island Red for me,
all right, two of them!Copy !req
930. - Rhode Island Red, two?
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
931. Now, y'all ain't planning on
fucking these chickens, are you?Copy !req
932. What the fuck are you getting at?Copy !req
933. Do you fuck chickens?Copy !req
934. Well, I have thought about
fucking some chickens before.Copy !req
935. If you wanna have a good time
and you need some pussy...Copy !req
936. you can cut that chicken's head off...Copy !req
937. stick your dick in that
ass of that chicken...Copy !req
938. and that damn chicken will go crazy
on your ass and go...Copy !req
939. Are you saying
that I would cut off a chicken's head...Copy !req
940. put my dick in it...Copy !req
941. fuck it, and go...Copy !req
942. You accusing me of fucking a chicken,
motherfucker?Copy !req
943. No, I ain't calling you a chicken-fucker...Copy !req
944. but that boy over there
looks sexually frustrated and...Copy !req
945. I don't approve of chicken-fucking.Copy !req
946. You hear what he call me, boss?
I ain't no chicken-fucker.Copy !req
947. My mistake, my mistake.Copy !req
948. Grab the fucking chickens, Clevon!Copy !req
949. Chickens...Copy !req
950. Here. $5.Copy !req
951. Appreciate it, thank y'all.Copy !req
952. He's the chicken-fucker!Copy !req
953. It's all right, put it back there.Copy !req
954. Next time we'll go some place else.Copy !req
955. We ain't never buying chickens
from him again, boss!Copy !req
956. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
957. You inbred! Inbred!Copy !req
958. Wolf J. Flywheel?Copy !req
959. Get your motherfucking pimp ass
over here now.Copy !req
960. Who you talking about, man?
Who you talking to? Who?Copy !req
961. What's going on, Sheriff?Copy !req
962. What'd we do?Copy !req
963. What's going on, baby?Copy !req
964. You and me,
we're gonna have a little powwow...Copy !req
965. about a certain Captain Spaulding
and his merry band of assholes.Copy !req
966. Captain who?Copy !req
967. You know exactly what I'm talking about,
am I correct?Copy !req
968. Hey, Sheriff, not in
the middle of the street.Copy !req
969. Ain't no sense in getting crazy out here.Copy !req
970. See, I don't like y'all motherfuckers
playing dumb with me.Copy !req
971. Now, let me tell you
the way it's gonna go down.Copy !req
972. You're gonna make sure
all three of them dirt bags are present...Copy !req
973. and accounted for, tonight at midnight.
You got me, Charlie-boy?Copy !req
974. You understand me?Copy !req
975. Charlie, you got me?Copy !req
976. What if I say no?Copy !req
977. Then I'm gonna shoot your ass
right fucking here and now.Copy !req
978. You and that other ugly motherfucker.Copy !req
979. Now, I'm going to forget
this conversation ever happened.Copy !req
980. Tonight. Midnight.Copy !req
981. It's a bad day to fuck
with me, Charlie-boy.Copy !req
982. Hey, we got you this far.Copy !req
983. Shit.Copy !req
984. Without us...Copy !req
985. you'd still be swimming around
with your head up your ass.Copy !req
986. Hey, Chief, don't sweat it. Have a beer.Copy !req
987. It's all gonna work
out to your satisfaction.Copy !req
988. If I were you, I'd put the beer down...Copy !req
989. and keep your mind on business...Copy !req
990. before business jumps up
and bites you right in the ass.Copy !req
991. Don't worry about me, boss.Copy !req
992. They're gonna think goddamn King Kong
came down from Skull Island...Copy !req
993. and raped them a new fucking asshole!Copy !req
994. Hey, man, don't give me
none of that cocky-ass, yardbird...Copy !req
995. pumping iron, "I'm the baddest
motherfucker that ever lived" horseshit.Copy !req
996. That might work
on some Johnny-redneck bail jumper...Copy !req
997. but that don't mean shit to me.Copy !req
998. Then I suggest you pick up the Batphone
and call some new motherfuckers in.Copy !req
999. You're a dime a dozen, man, fuck you.Copy !req
1000. Fuck me? Fuck you, motherfucker!Copy !req
1001. Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
We gotta cool our shit here!Copy !req
1002. Look, you hired the Unholy Two...Copy !req
1003. 'cause you wanted
the best money could buy.Copy !req
1004. Now you got nothing to worry about.
We're gonna get the job done.Copy !req
1005. We might talk a lot of shit,
but we will get the job done.Copy !req
1006. Now here's the deal.Copy !req
1007. I don't give a good goddamn
what condition they're in.Copy !req
1008. I just want them alive long enough so
I can piss in their face before they die.Copy !req
1009. You are one sick fucking pirate.Copy !req
1010. Hey, Billy Ray. Your mama's on the phone.Copy !req
1011. She owes me $14. Get down here. Come on.Copy !req
1012. You better keep a rope on that asshole.Copy !req
1013. Yeah, I know. Now look, Chief,
let me explain something to you.Copy !req
1014. You've been using a bazooka
to exterminate three little roaches.Copy !req
1015. Now, when you hunt roaches,
you don't blow up your house.Copy !req
1016. You send in an exterminator, so he can...Copy !req
1017. He crawls like a roach.Copy !req
1018. He thinks like a roach.
He has a little roach mind.Copy !req
1019. You be careful, or maybe
you'll get stepped on like a roach.Copy !req
1020. I'm gonna tell you something, brother.
You have got it made.Copy !req
1021. Please, man,
don't be fooled by the glamour.Copy !req
1022. I got trouble. Don't get me started.Copy !req
1023. What kind of trouble you got, man?
You got hot and cold running pussy on tap.Copy !req
1024. Man...Copy !req
1025. dealing with these greedy bitches
ain't all it's cracked up to be.Copy !req
1026. - Brother.
- Brother.Copy !req
1027. Go ahead. Take another. Take another.Copy !req
1028. Now take a hit on this.Copy !req
1029. Oh, man, I gotta piss.Copy !req
1030. - Take one for me too, man.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1031. Hey, listen,
you got a nose like a vacuum cleaner.Copy !req
1032. Don't do up all my cocaine.Copy !req
1033. Oh, brother, would I do that to you?Copy !req
1034. No. You're my brother, and I love you.Copy !req
1035. All right. All right.Copy !req
1036. But I love my cocaine better. Fuck you.Copy !req
1037. Oh, man, that's some cold shit right there.Copy !req
1038. Well, any port in a fucking storm.Copy !req
1039. Charlie, my brother.Copy !req
1040. My brother.Copy !req
1041. I've been looking for you, clown.Copy !req
1042. You gonna start the killing,
you best start it right here.Copy !req
1043. Make sure I'm all the way dead.Copy !req
1044. 'Cause I will come back
and make you my bitch.Copy !req
1045. Bitch that, motherfucker.Copy !req
1046. Get up, bitch!Copy !req
1047. Stop it!Copy !req
1048. Stop it, motherfucker!Copy !req
1049. Now get them scumbags in that truck.Copy !req
1050. It wasn't personal, brother.
Business is business, baby!Copy !req
1051. You asshole!Copy !req
1052. She's right, Charlie. You are an asshole.Copy !req
1053. Why don't you
get on your fucking horse and ride?Copy !req
1054. All right,
let's get this freak show on the road!Copy !req
1055. What the fuck you doing? Get the fuck up!Copy !req
1056. You know, I got to thank you all...Copy !req
1057. for helping me understand
what my heritage is.Copy !req
1058. You see, the Wydells,
they've always been vigilante justice.Copy !req
1059. You know, my granddaddy,
he rode with the likes of Tom Horn...Copy !req
1060. killing scum like you for a living.Copy !req
1061. We've always been devil-slayers.Copy !req
1062. Wake up!Copy !req
1063. See, I tried to walk the line.Copy !req
1064. But now I realize there is no line.Copy !req
1065. But we here...Copy !req
1066. we are playing on a level
that most will never see.Copy !req
1067. I know my brother,
George, he didn't see it.Copy !req
1068. Maybe he had a divine moment
when his brains hit the floor.Copy !req
1069. Yeah, well, maybe you will, too.Copy !req
1070. I got over here some photographs...Copy !req
1071. of every missing person
within 100 miles of this shit hole.Copy !req
1072. Valerie Green.Copy !req
1073. Take a look at that, man,
she was beautiful, huh?Copy !req
1074. Hell, anybody'd fuck her.Copy !req
1075. This is what she looked like...Copy !req
1076. when we pulled her
out of your little fucking torture shack.Copy !req
1077. She ain't so fuckable anymore, huh?Copy !req
1078. Oh, yes, she is.Copy !req
1079. I cut her tongue out
and tied her to my bed for a month.Copy !req
1080. Busted that bitch wide open.Copy !req
1081. Well, then you get to have this
as a souvenir.Copy !req
1082. What about Mary Knowles?Copy !req
1083. - Anybody?
- That fucking bitch is mine!Copy !req
1084. No, no, she was mine. I did her.
Come on. Bring it on to me!Copy !req
1085. No, she's all mine.Copy !req
1086. Baby, shut the fuck up!Copy !req
1087. Baby, you want her?Copy !req
1088. You got her.Copy !req
1089. Fuck, fuck!Copy !req
1090. Come and get it, motherfucker!Copy !req
1091. Motherfucker!Copy !req
1092. See this picture?Copy !req
1093. That's my brother, George.Copy !req
1094. Old George, he was a good man.Copy !req
1095. Very trusting.Copy !req
1096. I'm sure that's what got him killed.Copy !req
1097. Anyway, y'all take a good look at that.Copy !req
1098. Because that's the reason
you gonna die tonight.Copy !req
1099. Yeah, I remember him.Copy !req
1100. Stupid fuck, just like you.Copy !req
1101. Come at me like
some kind of matinee fucking cowboy idol.Copy !req
1102. All I had to do was point him in
a direction, and there he goes.Copy !req
1103. Officer Wy-fucking-dell to the rescue.Copy !req
1104. Daddy!Copy !req
1105. And I hate fucking clowns.Copy !req
1106. - You couldn't stop us by yourself!
- Harder!Copy !req
1107. I slayed me a devil just the other day.Copy !req
1108. What do you think?Copy !req
1109. See any you like?Copy !req
1110. You liar.Copy !req
1111. Those photos ain't real.
There's no way you killed Mama.Copy !req
1112. No, Baby, they're real.Copy !req
1113. You take a look at her right there.Copy !req
1114. You take a look at her eyes,
the way they are right there.Copy !req
1115. She's dead.Copy !req
1116. You know what I did?Copy !req
1117. I took my knife
and I stuck it in her real good.Copy !req
1118. Kind of twisted it a little bit.Copy !req
1119. Kind of, like, fucked
her with it, you know?Copy !req
1120. I'll tell you, that old whore came
before I fucking took her miserable life.Copy !req
1121. You motherfucker,
I'm gonna fucking kill you!Copy !req
1122. You're gonna kill me?Copy !req
1123. - You're gonna fuckin' kill me?
- Get off me, fucker.Copy !req
1124. Take a good look at that, bitch.
Take a good fucking look.Copy !req
1125. You were her little angel.Copy !req
1126. Her little angel.Copy !req
1127. That's why I got something special
in mind for you.Copy !req
1128. Yeah? Well, I can't fucking wait.Copy !req
1129. You want it? Here it is.
Come and get it. Come on!Copy !req
1130. From delusion, lead me to truth.Copy !req
1131. From darkness, lead me to light.Copy !req
1132. From death, lead me to eternal life.Copy !req
1133. Hallelujah! Are you feeling it, brother?Copy !req
1134. It's time to end this little charade.Copy !req
1135. Look.Copy !req
1136. You're free.Copy !req
1137. Run.Copy !req
1138. I said fucking run!Copy !req
1139. Burn well, motherfuckers.Copy !req
1140. Come and get it!Copy !req
1141. I can hear you, Baby girl.Copy !req
1142. I can hear you!Copy !req
1143. I've got something here for you.Copy !req
1144. What's that I smell?Copy !req
1145. It smells like rabbit!Copy !req
1146. It's me, Charlie. Calm down.Copy !req
1147. You did it! You fucking ruined everything.Copy !req
1148. Calm down, Baby, this is not the time!Copy !req
1149. I gotta get you out of here.Copy !req
1150. - Daddy and Otis are still in the house...
- I'll get them.Copy !req
1151. But first we gotta get you some place safe.
Come on.Copy !req
1152. Cutter! Cutter, wake up!Copy !req
1153. Cutter! Wake up! Cutter!Copy !req
1154. Wake the fuck up! Wake the fuck up!Copy !req
1155. - Wait in the car, and I'll go get them.
- I wanna go.Copy !req
1156. Don't... Just get in! Come on.Copy !req
1157. Stay put.Copy !req
1158. Charlie!Copy !req
1159. Run, Baby girl, run!Copy !req
1160. Run!Copy !req
1161. Run! Run!Copy !req
1162. Run, run, run!Copy !req
1163. Lord, I bet that hurts.Copy !req
1164. Man, I could hear that bone shatter
from right here.Copy !req
1165. What the hell we got here?Copy !req
1166. Look here, I got something for you.Copy !req
1167. Oh yeah, I got something for you.Copy !req
1168. Hey, get up!Copy !req
1169. Come on, come on. I said, get up!Copy !req
1170. You know, I don't know about you.Copy !req
1171. But I sure wish I had a bullwhip
for this occasion.Copy !req
1172. But I found this. I reckon it'll do.Copy !req
1173. No!Copy !req
1174. You like that?
You like the feeling of being helpless?Copy !req
1175. At the mercy of somebody sadistic
who aims your death?Copy !req
1176. Not such a fucking party, is it?Copy !req
1177. Did I make you feel trapped?Copy !req
1178. Fuck you!Copy !req
1179. Fuck me? Oh, no.Copy !req
1180. Fuck you! Fuck you!Copy !req
1181. Tiny.Copy !req
1182. Daddy and Otis are still in the house.
Go get them.Copy !req
1183. The nails! Get the nails!Copy !req
1184. Tiny, Tiny, come on, man!Copy !req
1185. Daddy!Copy !req
1186. Baby! Baby!Copy !req
1187. Daddy, are you all right?Copy !req
1188. Yes, yes.Copy !req
1189. You sure about this?Copy !req
1190. We'll come back for you.Copy !req