1. Ray, where are you going?Copy !req
2. Come back to bed.Copy !req
3. Watch it,
you miserable little...Copy !req
4. Queenie!Copy !req
5. 'Morning, Walter!Copy !req
6. Good girl.
Their lawn needed fertilizing anyway.Copy !req
7. Good morning, Lieutenant.
Mrs. Rumsfield.Copy !req
8. Hi, Ricky.Copy !req
9. Oh, Mr. Rumsfield, be careful,
Queenie...!Copy !req
10. Goddam it...Copy !req
11. Walter... Walter!Copy !req
12. - Walter!
- I love that dude.Copy !req
13. - Walter! Walter!
- Mark!Copy !req
14. What are you doing up?Copy !req
15. Walter's dog just took a dump
on Rumsfield's lawn again.Copy !req
16. Good, honey.Copy !req
17. - I know you're in there, old man!
- Honey, honey, the neighbors.Copy !req
18. Listen up, mister!Copy !req
19. That piece of scum, barking rat of yours
has just taken his last dump on my lawn!Copy !req
20. I find one more... just one...
I'm gonna catch him and staple his ass shut!Copy !req
21. - I'm gonna do it right now.
- No, no, no! Honey, don't.Copy !req
22. Come on.
Let's go home.Copy !req
23. Hey, honey,
I think we should move.Copy !req
24. We got an arms dealer across the street
and a crazy person down it.Copy !req
25. All they ever do is fight.
Is this sweet enough?Copy !req
26. Now there's new next-door neighbors...
What is their name again? The Klopeks?Copy !req
27. - Is that a Slavic name?
- I don't know.Copy !req
28. They've been here a month.
Think they're gonna do something about their yard?Copy !req
29. Are you gonna eat any of this?Copy !req
30. Oh, no. I got that thing
with my stomach again.Copy !req
31. I wonder what was going on
over there last night.Copy !req
32. - I knew this was gonna happen.
- What?Copy !req
33. - Nothing.
- What, Carol? What did you know is going to happen?Copy !req
34. It's started already.
Look at you.Copy !req
35. You're gonna sit around
all week doing nothing...Copy !req
36. get bored out of your mind and go back to work
in worse shape than you are now.Copy !req
37. No, I'm not.Copy !req
38. Please, let's pack up the car and go to the lake.
Just get away and rest.Copy !req
39. You should see yourself.Copy !req
40. You were up at the crack of dawn
watching a dog poop.Copy !req
41. You call going up
to the lake resting?Copy !req
42. It is four hours of driving on the tollway
in holiday traffic...Copy !req
43. to sit in some dank, wet cabin and wait
for that neighbor with the enormous head...Copy !req
44. to get drunk and fall down.
- He's a hydrocephalic.Copy !req
45. - I don't think that you should make fun...
- Honey, that's not my idea of restful.Copy !req
46. This is restful:
Hanging around the house, just being lazy.Copy !req
47. That's what I want to do.
I just wanna... hang around.Copy !req
48. Be lazy, listen to the ball game
and drink a couple hundred beers...Copy !req
49. and maybe smoke an occasional cigar...
outside.Copy !req
50. I'll fix the barbecue in the backyard.
I'll do that.Copy !req
51. This is what I need, Carol.
I need... this.Copy !req
52. You'll see, at the end of the week,
I'll be a brand new human being.Copy !req
53. It's your vacation.Copy !req
54. Quiet!Copy !req
55. Art's got a gun!Copy !req
56. Art!Copy !req
57. Hey, hi, Ray.
Hey, are you guys eatin' in there?Copy !req
58. You know how Suzette
is about her bird feeder.Copy !req
59. These crows start showing up
out of nowhere.Copy !req
60. She's all over my back
to get rid of 'em.Copy !req
61. "Oh, the crows are too big
for the bird feeder," she says.Copy !req
62. I don't remember seeing crows
around here before.Copy !req
63. Big bastards, too. That's why I got the gun.
I'm gonna pop a few.Copy !req
64. Why didn't you go with Suzette
to her mother's house?Copy !req
65. Hey, I'm eating here. Can you imagine me
and the two of them alone for a week?Copy !req
66. I'd rather chew broken glass.Copy !req
67. Uh-uh, this is gonna be a big week
for the bachelor kid.Copy !req
68. Vince.Copy !req
69. How come
you're not at work, Ray?Copy !req
70. - I took the week off.
- A week off?Copy !req
71. That's great. Are you guys
going to the lake or something?Copy !req
72. - No, the backyard.
- Backyard?Copy !req
73. I just want to hang
around the house and relax.Copy !req
74. Relax? Good luck with those maniacs
you got living next door.Copy !req
75. - Have you met the Klopeks yet?
- No.Copy !req
76. No, I haven't.
Nobody on the block has.Copy !req
77. But I did talk to the real estate broad
that sold them the place.Copy !req
78. Apparently, their last house...
it only burnt to the ground.Copy !req
79. - Really?
- Yep.Copy !req
80. A hideous, raging inferno.Copy !req
81. Neighbors from hell.Copy !req
82. Maybe.Copy !req
83. Whatever it is, I'm sure glad
I'm not the one who lives right next door.Copy !req
84. Come on, let's face it,
these Klopeks are strange.Copy !req
85. I've been watching that house
ever since they moved in.Copy !req
86. No one goes in.
No one comes out.Copy !req
87. No visitors.
No deliveries.Copy !req
88. What do you think
they're eatin' over there, Ray?Copy !req
89. Well, maybe these people
just want to keep to themselves, Art.Copy !req
90. Remember when the Knapps
lived next door?Copy !req
91. How many conversations
did you have with the Knapps? I had two.Copy !req
92. - Oh, come on.
- They didn't even say goodbye when they moved.Copy !req
93. Oh, please.
Don't even compare the two.Copy !req
94. I mean, come on.
At least, if they weren't conversational...Copy !req
95. the Knapps were semi-normal.
They worked in their yard.Copy !req
96. They mowed their lawn.
They had a lawn to mow.Copy !req
97. These Klopeks... We don't even know
how many of them there are.Copy !req
98. There are three of them.Copy !req
99. They only come out at night.Copy !req
100. - Ricky Butler says they're nocturnal feeders.
- Oh, Ricky Butler says.Copy !req
101. Last week when I was up on the roof
with my telescope...Copy !req
102. I saw them
in their backyard.Copy !req
103. - What were they doing, honey?
- Digging.Copy !req
104. - Kind of like grave diggers?
- Maybe.Copy !req
105. All right, that's enough
of this conversation.Copy !req
106. I want you to stop spying on the Klopeks
with Ricky Butler.Copy !req
107. And I'd like you to stop filling his head
with such half-cocked theories.Copy !req
108. - Where you goin'?
- I'm gonna change into my vacation togs.Copy !req
109. Are you done
with your eggs?Copy !req
110. Okay, honey, I'm gonna mix the zinnias in
with the rest of the flowers.Copy !req
111. - The man at the nursery said...
- Boy, that really burns my ass.Copy !req
112. - What?
- That old fart.Copy !req
113. He's got the best lawn
on the block.Copy !req
114. And you know why?Copy !req
115. Because he trains his dog
to crap in my yard.Copy !req
116. Hey, Mrs. Rumsfield.Copy !req
117. No tan lines this morning.Copy !req
118. Looks nice.Copy !req
119. That kid next door
is a meatball.Copy !req
120. Peterson.Copy !req
121. He came out in his robe last night
when the foreigners were making all that racket.Copy !req
122. He didn't do one thing.Copy !req
123. So, what are you
gonna do first?Copy !req
124. I don't know.Copy !req
125. - Hey, did I show you my new tools?
- No.Copy !req
126. These are great.Copy !req
127. Carol's father gave them to me
for Christmas.Copy !req
128. Look.Copy !req
129. - Oh, those are beauties.
- Yeah.Copy !req
130. - You gonna build something with those?
- I think so.Copy !req
131. Probably.Copy !req
132. - Hey, what time does the ball game go on?
- I think it's at about 1:00.Copy !req
133. You want to go down to the deli
and get one of those beef sandwiches?Copy !req
134. No. I'm thinking of getting
one of those electric garage door openers...Copy !req
135. and installing it.Copy !req
136. Ray. Ray!Copy !req
137. Ray, come here!Copy !req
138. What is it?Copy !req
139. It's my neighbor.Copy !req
140. Hey, one of the Huns
came out of the cave.Copy !req
141. Why don't you go say hi?Copy !req
142. - Well, yeah, I guess I could.
- You know, this would be the perfect time...Copy !req
143. because if you go talk to him,
we could see what he's like. Go.Copy !req
144. You could go
say hi to him too, you know?Copy !req
145. - Yeah, but he's your neighbor.
- Well, he's your neighbor as well.Copy !req
146. But I'm over.
You share a property line with him.Copy !req
147. We're all on the same block,
so you could go too.Copy !req
148. We're all in the same town too,
but you're right next to him.Copy !req
149. If he was ever gonna borrow anything,
he'd come over to your place.Copy !req
150. - Well, he's busy now.
- He's not busy.Copy !req
151. Now look, he's goin' in.
Go now because if...Copy !req
152. He's going back in.
If you were gonna say hi...Copy !req
153. you should probably...
There, he's going into the house.Copy !req
154. You're gonna lose him
because he's gonna go in...Copy !req
155. - Well, now you've blown it, haven't you?
- No, I didn't blow it.Copy !req
156. - Chicken. Chicken.
- He went into his house.Copy !req
157. I'm not a chicken
because he went into his house.Copy !req
158. You know, you look like a chicken
in front of your son and everything. Your son.Copy !req
159. Come on, come on.Copy !req
160. - If it's suddenly a big deal, let's just go say hello.
- Hey, hey, it's a joke!Copy !req
161. - Let's say hello.
- Why so edgy?Copy !req
162. - Come on, come on.
- Try decaf.Copy !req
163. They're daring each other
to ring the doorbell.Copy !req
164. We shouldn't stare like this.Copy !req
165. If it's such a big deal, why don't we both
go say hello, or are you chicken?Copy !req
166. Go for it, Mr. Peterson!
Yes!Copy !req
167. Now everybody's watching us.Copy !req
168. - Good going, man!
- Yeah, okay, yeah.Copy !req
169. Yeah, I'll go in with you.
Sure. Right. No problem.Copy !req
170. Let's go.Copy !req
171. I don't know if you noticed,
but there's bars on the basement windows.Copy !req
172. - They got holes in their porch too.
- That was a booby trap.Copy !req
173. - You okay? "Booby trap"...
- Yeah.Copy !req
174. - I'm not gonna pay for that.
- We shouldn't pay for that, we should sue them.Copy !req
175. Well, um, let's...
Let's say hello.Copy !req
176. Hey...Copy !req
177. Get the hose.
Hang on, men!Copy !req
178. Run to me!
Run to water!Copy !req
179. This way! Over here!
Run to water!Copy !req
180. Run to me! Come on!Copy !req
181. Come on! Come on!Copy !req
182. I think they're gone, Mark.
I think they're gone!Copy !req
183. - You men hit?
- I cannot believe you did that.Copy !req
184. - I cannot believe it! That was great.
- Neither can I.Copy !req
185. The same thing happened to me last week.
I was over there.Copy !req
186. It wasn't bees, though.
It was a foaming squirrel.Copy !req
187. In Southeast Asia,
we'd call this type of thing "bad karma."Copy !req
188. Honey, bee stings don't heal
if you keep playing with them.Copy !req
189. If we had gone to the lake,
I'd have twice as many of these by now.Copy !req
190. - It isn't like anything you said is coming true.
- Where are you going?Copy !req
191. I can't walk away
without you asking where I'm going?Copy !req
192. I'm going to Paris, France, okay?
I'm going to Banff, Canada, all right?Copy !req
193. - That's where I'm going.
- Are you taking the dog?Copy !req
194. Yeah, yeah.
I'm taking the dog for a walk.Copy !req
195. No, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
196. Hey, Vince, let's go over here, huh?
Let's not go that way tonight.Copy !req
197. Here. Here's a nice yard.
It's a good yard.Copy !req
198. Hey, you with the dog!Copy !req
199. Hey, keep that mutt
off my lawn, will ya?Copy !req
200. All right.
Have a field day.Copy !req
201. He comes over here to smoke cigars.
His wife won't let him. He doesn't know I know that.Copy !req
202. Hi, Ray.
How ya doin', bud?Copy !req
203. - Hey, there, Mr. Peterson.
- How are you? Good to see you.Copy !req
204. - Wouldn't need a lighter, would you?
- Thanks.Copy !req
205. - It is a lovely night, isn't it?
- Yeah, green sky tonight.Copy !req
206. Green sky at morning:
Neighbor take warning.Copy !req
207. Green sky at night?Copy !req
208. Neighbor take flight.Copy !req
209. You know, did you ever see the movie
The Sentinel, Mr. Peterson?Copy !req
210. It's about the old guy who owns the apartment
which is kind of like the gateway to hell.Copy !req
211. No, I didn't see that.Copy !req
212. Oh, well,
I was doing some thinking.Copy !req
213. And, you know, being that their last house
burned down and all...Copy !req
214. it's like, maybe,
somebody left the gate open.Copy !req
215. It's them.
They're movin' around again.Copy !req
216. You know, it was a night just like this
that it happened.Copy !req
217. What happened,
Mr. Weingartner?Copy !req
218. It was a long time ago, Ricky.
Hinkley Hills was a lot smaller then.Copy !req
219. Safer too. You never had to lock your doors.
Everybody knew everybody.Copy !req
220. I must have been maybe
nine, ten years old.Copy !req
221. - You know where the big mall is?
- Yeah.Copy !req
222. There used to be a big drugstore
on the corner there.Copy !req
223. - It had a big soda fountain. Remember that?
- Yeah.Copy !req
224. The guy who ran it was a rotund guy,
had glasses.Copy !req
225. His name was Skip.
Lived over on Elm.Copy !req
226. Had a wife, a couple kids.
Not too sharp. I mean, hey...Copy !req
227. the guy's 40 years old, he's wearing
a paper hat and making cherry Cokes.Copy !req
228. It's a cinch he's not running
for governor, right?Copy !req
229. Anyway, it got hot that summer.Copy !req
230. It got real hot.
It was sweltering.Copy !req
231. That heat where your underwear sweats
and it crawls up the...Copy !req
232. Anyway, it's hot, okay?Copy !req
233. And they start smelling
this really vile stench over on Elm...Copy !req
234. and they figure it's comin'
from Skip's place.Copy !req
235. No one wants to say anything.
I mean, what do you do?Copy !req
236. Go knock on the guy's door,
"Hi, your house stinks"?Copy !req
237. So people are trying
to ignore it, right?Copy !req
238. They're trying to pretend it isn't happening.
You know those pine things?Copy !req
239. They're trying to cover up with those pine things
that you can put in cars.Copy !req
240. People are hanging those
on their porches.Copy !req
241. - Oh, you think that's funny, Ricky?
- Well, yeah.Copy !req
242. Oh, yeah?
Let me tell you what happened next.Copy !req
243. The state health inspector shows up.
They go over. They talk to Skip.Copy !req
244. He says he's got a sump pump problem.
They leave.Copy !req
245. Hey, the guy's got a sewer problem.
He says he'll look after it.Copy !req
246. - Everything's okay, right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
247. Wrong.
A couple hours later...Copy !req
248. there's smoke pouring out
of the windows of Skip's house.Copy !req
249. - The firemen go in. Know what they find?
- What?Copy !req
250. Skip's family, dead.
Murdered...Copy !req
251. by Skip... weeks earlier...
with an ice pick.Copy !req
252. Yeah, the guy killed
his whole family...Copy !req
253. with an ice pick.Copy !req
254. Yeah. Yeah, just put 'em
in the cool basement...Copy !req
255. covered 'em up with a sheet and went back
to makin' ice cream treats for the townsfolk.Copy !req
256. Only Skip didn't count on there being
a big heat wave that summer.Copy !req
257. You know what all those people
were smelling on Elm, Ricky?Copy !req
258. What?Copy !req
259. Skip's family's bodies,
decomposing in the summer heat.Copy !req
260. Yeah, apparently, one day Skip made
just one-too-many lemon phosphates.Copy !req
261. El snappo.Copy !req
262. I remember that. I remember
hearing about that when I was a kid.Copy !req
263. They... they tore down
the soda fountain that fall.Copy !req
264. These towns are full of those stories.
Sometimes they're happening right under your nose.Copy !req
265. You know, speaking of noses...Copy !req
266. Ever since this family
has moved to this block...Copy !req
267. I've been noticing
a weird kind of odour.Copy !req
268. Kind of like death.Copy !req
269. Oh, jump a little higher,
Spud Webb.Copy !req
270. - Oh, slam dunk!
- Sorry, Mr. Peterson, it was a mistake.Copy !req
271. - I didn't mean... Well, it wasn't a mistake.
- Don't apologize.Copy !req
272. - I'm goin' home.
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
273. - Don't be a weenie. It was a joke!
- I'm sorry, Mr. Peterson.Copy !req
274. I'm gonna go do something productive.
I'm gonna go watch television.Copy !req
275. The answer is: It's the next federal holiday
after Washington's birthday.Copy !req
276. - What is Lincoln's birthday?
- What is Memorial Day?Copy !req
277. Memorial Day is it.
Select.Copy !req
278. - They combined Lincoln's birthday with Washington's.
- It's always flip-flopping.Copy !req
279. - It's one weekend now.
- "Remain calm...Copy !req
280. float with arms stretched out
at right angles to the body..."Copy !req
281. That's what you used to say to me
in college, honey, right?Copy !req
282. - So what about your parents?
- They're not gonna be home 'til Thursday.Copy !req
283. Gail, I swear to God,
this is better than anything on television.Copy !req
284. - Why can't we go to a movie?
- A movie?Copy !req
285. That's not real.
It's the same as television.Copy !req
286. Trust me.
This is real.Copy !req
287. This is my neighborhood.Copy !req
288. Here he comes,
right on schedule.Copy !req
289. God, I love this street.Copy !req
290. Ray!Copy !req
291. - What?
- Who was Mussolini?Copy !req
292. - "How sweet it is" was, uh...
- Right again.Copy !req
293. Business and Industry
for 200.Copy !req
294. In the McDonald's
corporate think tank...Copy !req
295. - Art, we're watching the show.
- What does he want?Copy !req
296. I don't know.Copy !req
297. - But I'll be back in time for Final Jeopardy.
- Nebraskans for 1,000, please.Copy !req
298. Okay, okay, the show's started.
Check it out.Copy !req
299. You see the guy with the curly hair?
That's Mr. Peterson.Copy !req
300. He's like this sceptic.
He's basically grounded in reality...Copy !req
301. and he doesn't want to believe
his neighbors are up to something strange...Copy !req
302. 'cause if they were,
he'd have to deal with it, right?Copy !req
303. Okay, now see the fat guy?
That's Mr. Weingartner.Copy !req
304. He thinks the Klopeks
are really evil...Copy !req
305. and that they're building
a dungeon in their basement.Copy !req
306. So he and Mr. Rumsfield decided
to do a little snooping around tonight.Copy !req
307. This should be good.Copy !req
308. - What is this?
- It's an infrared scope.Copy !req
309. - Snipers use it for night vision.
- What are we gonna do with it?Copy !req
310. I'm gonna crawl over there and get a look
in those barred-up basement windows.Copy !req
311. Come here.Copy !req
312. Guys, I've been thinking about it.
I don't think we should go through with this.Copy !req
313. What are you?
Are you a 'fraidy cat?Copy !req
314. No, I just think things
have gone off the deep end.Copy !req
315. I mean, infrared night vision scopes?
What are we gonna do next, tap their phone line?Copy !req
316. Oh, that can be arranged.Copy !req
317. Then all we have to do
is burn a cross on their front lawn.Copy !req
318. - Quiet.
- You hear that?Copy !req
319. No, that was just me.Copy !req
320. - It's a low-frequency hum or something.
- It's getting louder.Copy !req
321. Listen.Copy !req
322. Is that a transformer
or something?Copy !req
323. - The goddamn power company.
- But I can't... Where is it coming from?Copy !req
324. I know where it's coming from.Copy !req
325. Wow!Copy !req
326. - What the hell was that?
- Brownout.Copy !req
327. Smells like they're cooking
a goddamn cat over there.Copy !req
328. - I'm gonna go find out what exactly...
- Down! Get down, get down!Copy !req
329. No headlights...Copy !req
330. I can see the news report now:Copy !req
331. "They were a quiet family.
Kept pretty much to themselves.Copy !req
332. No one would have ever
suspected them of foul play."Copy !req
333. I've never seen that. I've never seen anybody
drive their garbage down to the street...Copy !req
334. and then bang the hell out of it with a stick.
I've never seen that.Copy !req
335. I say we get a look
in those garbage cans.Copy !req
336. Call me overly cautious,
but don't you think that's a bit suspicious?Copy !req
337. The three of us going through their garbage
at 11 o'clock at night in the middle of a rainstorm?Copy !req
338. Affirmative.
That garbage is going nowhere.Copy !req
339. I say we wait 'til first light.
Scope me.Copy !req
340. I'm outta here.Copy !req
341. Rain delay.
Bummer.Copy !req
342. Ray, what was that you were saying
the other day about half-cocked theories?Copy !req
343. I think that's the term you used.
Ray... sleep tight.Copy !req
344. No way Wednesday night.
I'm in a league.Copy !req
345. This seminar could change your life, Vic.
The man is a great healer.Copy !req
346. And I'm a great bowler.
Wednesday night we're taking on Roselli Plumbing.Copy !req
347. You should expose yourself to this guy, Vic.
He understands paraphysical forces...Copy !req
348. the healing capabilities of crystals
and the laying on of hands.Copy !req
349. - You wanna try laying on some hands?
- Wait! Hold it, garbies! Garbies!Copy !req
350. Garbagemen! Hold on a minute!
Wait a sec!Copy !req
351. Wait! Wait! Wait!
Hold it!Copy !req
352. - Hold it! What are you doin'?
- I'm emptying garbage.Copy !req
353. Into the garbage truck?
Are you outta your mind? Give me that!Copy !req
354. - Hey, cut that out!
- There's nothing here.Copy !req
355. Not a finger, not a nose,
nothing!Copy !req
356. - Give me that.
- Here you go.Copy !req
357. - What are you doin'?
- You asked me to help.Copy !req
358. Who you calling?Copy !req
359. I'm calling the Delvaneys
and having them open the cottage.Copy !req
360. No, Carol.
I don't want to go to the cottage.Copy !req
361. Fine. Then Dave and I will go
and you can stay here and spy.Copy !req
362. - Oh, alright! Okay!
- What? What? Are you sulking now?Copy !req
363. - No, go up to the cottage!
- Is that what's happening?Copy !req
364. Take Dave and go to the cottage.
Leave me to pad around the house.Copy !req
365. "Pad around the house"?
All you do is pal around the neighborhood...Copy !req
366. - That's my vacation!
with those two chuckleheads!Copy !req
367. - You know, I am very, very worried about you.
- Why?Copy !req
368. - You're acting like...
- What am I acting like, Carol?Copy !req
369. - I'm acting like a guy who's on vacation!
- Like this!Copy !req
370. - This is not someone on vacation!
- See? I sleep late!Copy !req
371. - Get a tan then!
- Oh, get a tan!Copy !req
372. - How? In my pyjamas?
- Fix the barbecue! I don't know!Copy !req
373. Look, look! You go to the cottage and get a tan!
Take David with you!Copy !req
374. I don't care! I'll eat takeout!
I'll do the laundry by myself!Copy !req
375. - I'll vacuum the house! It'll be spotless!
- Dad! Dad!Copy !req
376. - What?
- Art's throwing garbage all over the street.Copy !req
377. Your mom and I are having a conversation!
If you... What?Copy !req
378. - Get out of the truck, man! Are you nuts?
- Hey, it's gotta be in here somewhere.Copy !req
379. The Supreme Court ruled
that a person's garbage...Copy !req
380. is public domain the minute it hits the kerb.
- Shut up!Copy !req
381. Did you guys pick up
a Hefty bag out of that yard...Copy !req
382. that was bulky
and probably a little moist?Copy !req
383. - What the hell is wrong with these people?
- He has a right to know, Vic.Copy !req
384. Don't start up with me.
Hey, could you help me get this guy out of here?Copy !req
385. Hey, Art.
What's happening?Copy !req
386. No! Ray!
Ray, come back here!Copy !req
387. Just one... I'll be...
Yeah!Copy !req
388. My taxes pay your salary!Copy !req
389. Look, I don't want to hear
any of your bullshit either!Copy !req
390. The question here is garbage
and who picks up this mess!Copy !req
391. Who picks up this mess?Copy !req
392. You're gonna pick up the mess
because you are a garbageman.Copy !req
393. I pick up garbage in cans,
not from the street!Copy !req
394. Ray, there's nothing in here.
We practically checked this whole truck.Copy !req
395. They must have switched on us
during the night.Copy !req
396. - The F.B.I?
- No, the Klopeks.Copy !req
397. Oh, no.
Naughty little puppy.Copy !req
398. Uncle Markie gets very upset
when you're on his lawn.Copy !req
399. Wait a minute.
You're all dirty, and you're shaking.Copy !req
400. I wonder if Walter knows
you're outside.Copy !req
401. - In the rain?
- Yeah, it was raining.Copy !req
402. - And there were how many of them?
- Well, uh, three.Copy !req
403. - And what were they doing?
- They were diggin'.Copy !req
404. Digging!
Like grave diggers!Copy !req
405. - I told you! They're ghouls!
- No, I didn't say they were graves.Copy !req
406. They could've been digging
for anything.Copy !req
407. They could have been digging
for... like night crawlers.Copy !req
408. - Night crawlers?
- They're fishermen.Copy !req
409. - Fishermen! Ray, wake up and smell the coffee!
- They need bait.Copy !req
410. The kid spotted us last night.
When we were sleeping, he got up.Copy !req
411. He went to the garbage can,
he took the body and then he...Copy !req
412. He buried him in the backyard.Copy !req
413. - Let's get outta here.
- I like this.Copy !req
414. I hate cul-de-sacs. There's only one way out,
and the people are kinda weird.Copy !req
415. Naked ladies...
Come on.Copy !req
416. Does anyone know if Walter
left a spare key around anywhere?Copy !req
417. He must have gone away
and forgot to feed Queenie.Copy !req
418. - Walter!
- I hope nothing happened to him.Copy !req
419. - I think we should call the police.
- Oh, good plan, Ray.Copy !req
420. Wait a minute.
I think I see something moving in there.Copy !req
421. How did you get in there?Copy !req
422. A soldier's way saves the day.
Entrez.Copy !req
423. - Good, honey.
- Beautiful.Copy !req
424. - Walter?
- What's been going on here?Copy !req
425. - This doesn't look good.
- Murder, my friend.Copy !req
426. - Murder?
- There are signs of a struggle here.Copy !req
427. The TV's still on.
Chairs turned over.Copy !req
428. I wouldn't say
that's a sign of a struggle.Copy !req
429. You know, I think I should go upstairs
and check this out.Copy !req
430. Maybe the guy's upstairs
in a bathtub or something...Copy !req
431. cracked his head open,
there's blood and stuff everywhere...Copy !req
432. - Just don't touch anything up there, all right?
- Yes, sir, Mr. Peterson.Copy !req
433. Come on, let's see
if we can find some dog food.Copy !req
434. I don't like this.
I don't like snooping around a neighbor's house.Copy !req
435. You mean
a dead guy's house?Copy !req
436. You wanna take that out of your pocket?
You wanna not steal that from Walter's house?Copy !req
437. What's the difference? All this junk
is gonna end up in a flea market sooner or later.Copy !req
438. He might have just left in a hurry
and forgot about the dog.Copy !req
439. - Stay right here, and we'll find your dish.
- Old people space out sometimes.Copy !req
440. Bullseye!Copy !req
441. - What, what, what?
- A dead rat! There!Copy !req
442. Honey, that's not a rat.
That's Walter's toupee.Copy !req
443. Oh, Jeez. Beautiful place to keep a toupee:
On the stove.Copy !req
444. - I'm starving.
- I know one thing about these old guys:Copy !req
445. They don't ever leave the house
without their hair.Copy !req
446. No, sir.Copy !req
447. Walter left this house...
in a big hurry.Copy !req
448. Hey, you guys, look!
These cookies are...Copy !req
449. - That's great! Everybody out!
- Great, Ricky. Very nice...Copy !req
450. - Very nice!
- I think we've broken enough laws for one day.Copy !req
451. - I'm sorry, but we have not looked...
- Let's just get outta here.Copy !req
452. - It's not against the law to break cookies.
- I can't believe you people talked me into this.Copy !req
453. Why don't we just get out
of our neighbor's house?Copy !req
454. "Walter, your dog is at my house.Copy !req
455. Your window is broken
because we all thought that..."Copy !req
456. "Walter...Copy !req
457. I have your dog.Copy !req
458. Ray."Copy !req
459. Mr. Klopek!Copy !req
460. Mr. Klopek, hi.
Ray Peterson.Copy !req
461. Listen, I was w...Copy !req
462. What is this doggy-gram?
This just came for you. It might be important.Copy !req
463. Come here. Save some for your friend.
Right there. Go on.Copy !req
464. - Honey, have you seen your father?
- I think he's in the basement with Art.Copy !req
465. He's playing canasta
or something.Copy !req
466. Honey?Copy !req
467. Ray!Copy !req
468. Art, you had a dream
you were gonna win the lottery.Copy !req
469. - You blew $500 on tickets.
- I can't believe you're still bringing that up.Copy !req
470. You had a dream a plane was gonna crash,
so you took the bus to Las Vegas.Copy !req
471. If I had been on the plane,
it would have crashed.Copy !req
472. And it doesn't matter.
This wasn't a dream. This was a vision.Copy !req
473. - These people are Satanists.
- This is all gibberish.Copy !req
474. As I sit here,
they're Satansists.Copy !req
475. Look, the world is full of these kind of things.
Look at this.Copy !req
476. Black masses, mutilations.
Mutilations!Copy !req
477. The incubus, the succubus.
I'm telling you, Walter was a human sacrifice.Copy !req
478. I should have gone to the lake.
I should have listened to Carol.Copy !req
479. Listen to your wife? Who listens to their wife?
You gotta listen to me.Copy !req
480. We gotta go down
to the religious supply store.Copy !req
481. We gotta get ourselves
a couple of gallons of holy water.Copy !req
482. My cousin is a priest.
He can get us a deal.Copy !req
483. - Then we gotta go to the market.
- I don't want to hear this.Copy !req
484. - We gotta get ourselves these big strings of garlic.
- I'm not gonna listen.Copy !req
485. - We gotta get some fresh lamb's blood.
- I'm not going to hear this.Copy !req
486. Ray, do you want 'em
to take your family, kidnap 'em...Copy !req
487. tear their livers out
and make some satanic pate?Copy !req
488. I'm not going
to listen to this.Copy !req
489. - Ray, you're chanting. Ray.
- I'm not going to hear this now.Copy !req
490. Ray, look. Ray.
Unconscious chanting. You're chanting!Copy !req
491. I want to kill everyone.Copy !req
492. Satan is good.
Satan is our pal.Copy !req
493. Ray, Ray, you're chanting.
Hey...Copy !req
494. Once they get in here,
it's over, pal.Copy !req
495. Satanists, huh?Copy !req
496. Ritual killers?Copy !req
497. Nice.
Very, very nice.Copy !req
498. So let me get this straight.Copy !req
499. The Klopeks are offering up Walter
as a sort of human sacrifice to Beelzebub?Copy !req
500. - Is that it?
- That's one of the theories. Yeah.Copy !req
501. Great, great.Copy !req
502. So this is your
relaxing week at home, huh?Copy !req
503. I wouldn't have missed this
for the world.Copy !req
504. - A week in Jonestown.
- Where are you going?Copy !req
505. To the bathroom.
Relax.Copy !req
506. What is it?Copy !req
507. Carol?Copy !req
508. Ray...Copy !req
509. It was so nice of you to invite
the new neighbors over for a barbecue, Ray.Copy !req
510. Satan is good. Satan is our pal.
I want to kill everyone.Copy !req
511. Satan is good.
Satan is our pal.Copy !req
512. Oh, Ray Peterson...Copy !req
513. whatever you do,
don't let them do to you...Copy !req
514. what they did to me.
- Oh, I bet that hurts, huh?Copy !req
515. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
516. Who the heck
ordered the blood shake?Copy !req
517. Hey, Ray. It's not Skip. It's me, Art.
I'm just pretending to be Skip.Copy !req
518. Hey, you didn't happen to see an ice pick
around here, did you?Copy !req
519. Mind your own business.Copy !req
520. Mind your own business!Copy !req
521. Okay!Copy !req
522. It's a beautiful day
in this neighborhoodCopy !req
523. It's a beautiful day
for a neighborCopy !req
524. Would you be mine
Could you be mineCopy !req
525. It's a neighborly day
in this beauty woodCopy !req
526. A neighborly day
for a beautyCopy !req
527. Would you be mine
Could you be mineCopy !req
528. I have always wanted
to have a neighborCopy !req
529. Just like youCopy !req
530. I've always wanted to live
In the neighborhood with youCopy !req
531. So let's make the most
of this beautiful dayCopy !req
532. Since we're together
I might as well sayCopy !req
533. Would you be mine
Could you be mineCopy !req
534. Won't you be my neighborCopy !req
535. Won't you please
Won't you pleaseCopy !req
536. Please, won't you be
my neighborCopy !req
537. Hey, Ray!
Ray, we got a plan! Come on.Copy !req
538. We got a plan.
Come on. We got... oh...Copy !req
539. Sorry, boys. My husband's not feeling well.
He has to stay in his room.Copy !req
540. - Ooh, he was bad.
- Come on.Copy !req
541. Please, Carol,
let him come out.Copy !req
542. Come on...Copy !req
543. He can't come out until he resembles
the man that I married.Copy !req
544. - We don't have that kind of time. Come on.
- Please let him come out.Copy !req
545. I think that I have given you
my answer.Copy !req
546. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
The bees came from there.Copy !req
547. - And watch this hole.
- Okay, let's try the side door.Copy !req
548. Okay, do it.Copy !req
549. Do what?
We agreed to do it together.Copy !req
550. - Ray. Ray.
- I'm only trying to take a nap.Copy !req
551. I'm only laying here with my eyes closed,
trying to get some goddamn sleep.Copy !req
552. Quiet, quiet, quiet.
I wouldn't wake you if it wasn't important.Copy !req
553. - I think we flushed 'em out. The Klopeks!
- Okay.Copy !req
554. - Rumsfield and I, we flushed 'em out.
- How?Copy !req
555. We wrote a note.
We slipped it under their door.Copy !req
556. - We rang the bell, and then we ran.
- You did that?Copy !req
557. - Yeah.
- Oh, geez! Stupid idi...Copy !req
558. I can't believe you...Copy !req
559. All I did was write,
"I know what you've done." That's all.Copy !req
560. - I didn't sign it or anything.
- Oh, I can't... You stupid...Copy !req
561. - Why didn't you... God!
- You gotta goose these people once in a while.Copy !req
562. You gotta give them a little shot, a little whack.
Let 'em know that you're there!Copy !req
563. Jeez... Good dog, Vince.
Go get it.Copy !req
564. Here's the thing, though, Art.
They're gonna think I did it.Copy !req
565. - Why?
- The old guy saw me write a note...Copy !req
566. and put it under Walter's door.
So they're gonna think that I did it!Copy !req
567. You wrote a note and put it under the...
I didn't know that.Copy !req
568. It doesn't matter
'cause we got 'em on the run now!Copy !req
569. Now they know that we know
that they know that we know!Copy !req
570. Yes, it does matter!
You did it, but they're gonna suspect me!Copy !req
571. They're not gonna suspect anybody.
They're...Copy !req
572. - Do you know what this is?
- It's a bone.Copy !req
573. - It's a femur.
- It's a femur bone.Copy !req
574. A femur just happens to be
a human thigh bone, Ray.Copy !req
575. - Wait, how do you know that?
- Biology 101.Copy !req
576. I mean,
look at the size of this thing.Copy !req
577. Think this came off
a chicken or something?Copy !req
578. Where the hell
did Vince get this?Copy !req
579. He dug it up
from underneath the fence.Copy !req
580. Ray...Copy !req
581. Ray, there's no doubt anymore.Copy !req
582. This is real.
Your neighbors are murdering people.Copy !req
583. They're chopping 'em up.
They're burying 'em in their backyard.Copy !req
584. Ray, this is Walter.Copy !req
585. - No!
- No!Copy !req
586. There's just got to be
some other explanation for this.Copy !req
587. It's just some litter.
The guy's a litterbug.Copy !req
588. It could be a candy bar wrapper.
It could be a napkin.Copy !req
589. It could be a crumpled up credit card receipt.
Those things blow around all the time.Copy !req
590. It, it, uh...
No, it's my note.Copy !req
591. - Oh! Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry!
- Ouch!Copy !req
592. I didn't see you.
I didn't see you.Copy !req
593. Great. Crush a beer can.
You feel better now?Copy !req
594. Well... I think it's time
we all stopped acting like kindergartners.Copy !req
595. - Don't you, Ray?
- Yes, Carol.Copy !req
596. Now, before somebody falls off a roof
or sets themselves on fire...Copy !req
597. I think we should go over there,
knock on their door...Copy !req
598. and invite ourselves in
for a nice, neighborly chat.Copy !req
599. Get to know these people
like we should have done a month ago.Copy !req
600. That's a good idea.
And I'll make brownies.Copy !req
601. - Great. While you keep 'em busy, I...
- You're not invited.Copy !req
602. - Can't we do this tomorrow, Carol?
- Would you relax?Copy !req
603. We'll probably find out more
in five minutes of friendly chat...Copy !req
604. than you guys can in a month
of snooping around.Copy !req
605. Okay, now,
everybody just act normal.Copy !req
606. - Who is it?
- Yoo-hoo! It's Carol Peterson from next door.Copy !req
607. There go
the goddamn brownies.Copy !req
608. Hi. Welcome to Mayfield Place.
We're your neighbors.Copy !req
609. We brought dessert...Copy !req
610. Uh, is your mother home?Copy !req
611. Here you go, sonny.
A little something for the old sweet tooth.Copy !req
612. I can't believe
you've lived here a whole month...Copy !req
613. and we haven't come by
to say hello.Copy !req
614. Well, I'm your neighbor, Ray Peterson,
and that's my wife, Carol.Copy !req
615. That's Bonnie,
and this is, uh...Copy !req
616. Rumsfield's the name.Copy !req
617. Don't think
I caught yours, sonny.Copy !req
618. - Hans.
- Hans!Copy !req
619. A fine, Christian name.
Hans Christian Andersen.Copy !req
620. - What, are you Catholic?
- I don't know.Copy !req
621. Oh. Pretty girl.Copy !req
622. - Friend of yours?
- No, it came with the frame.Copy !req
623. - "It came with the frame"?
- Yes.Copy !req
624. Oh, is this the dining room?
Oh! You startled me.Copy !req
625. - My Uncle Reuben.
- Well, how do you do?Copy !req
626. You are the one
who lives next door.Copy !req
627. - Um... why don't we get some coffee, Bonnie?
- I'll do it.Copy !req
628. What do you say we all sit down
for a little face-to-face, eh, what, Reub?Copy !req
629. They're in there, alright.
They're all just standing around.Copy !req
630. Oh, great. Don't worry, you guys.
I can get this. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
631. - I really appreciate your help. Really.
- No problem. Just be careful.Copy !req
632. - I mean, it's pretty dangerous with the trip wire.
- Yeah, yeah, okay. Thanks for your advice.Copy !req
633. - Watch!
- Be careful!Copy !req
634. I'm watchin'.Copy !req
635. Did you make it?Copy !req
636. I'm alright!
I'm okay, I'm okay.Copy !req
637. Just throw me over the tools.Copy !req
638. Sure was damp today.Copy !req
639. Yes, I just can't seem
to do anything with my hair.Copy !req
640. Sardine?Copy !req
641. I'm trying to cut back.Copy !req
642. Sardine?Copy !req
643. Um... So, how are you
enjoying Hinkley Hills?Copy !req
644. We just love it.Copy !req
645. - Don't we?
- Yes!Copy !req
646. Klopek.
What is that, Slavic?Copy !req
647. No!Copy !req
648. About a nine
on the tension scale, Reub.Copy !req
649. How do you like
living here so far, huh?Copy !req
650. Pretty comfortable house,
ain't it?Copy !req
651. Good, solid walls.Copy !req
652. Good, solid floors.Copy !req
653. Got somebody tied up in the old cellar,
have you, Reub?Copy !req
654. It's packing dust.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
655. So... Just you and Unc living here
in the house, is that it, sonny?Copy !req
656. - No...
- Please, this is a small family:Copy !req
657. Me, the young boy...Copy !req
658. and my brother...
the doctor.Copy !req
659. Well, won't it be nice to have
a doctor in the neighborhood?Copy !req
660. You know, I think it's great you've been able
to stay with all the original wood.Copy !req
661. I was never over here
when the Knapps lived here.Copy !req
662. How unfortunate
for the Knapps.Copy !req
663. You know, it's funny, but I don't ever
remember seeing a moving van out front.Copy !req
664. I don't understand that.
It was parked outside all day!Copy !req
665. - Really?
- Say, how is, uh...Copy !req
666. the... drainage
on your property here?Copy !req
667. I know when it rains at our house,
boy, the basement just floods right over.Copy !req
668. Basement?
Ray comes up with a winning idea.Copy !req
669. Maybe we should go down
and take a look in the basement.Copy !req
670. Maybe that was brother down there,
tapping on the ceiling a couple minutes ago.Copy !req
671. Who knows?Copy !req
672. Just what kind of doctor
is this brother of yours, Reub?Copy !req
673. Why don't you
ask him yourself?Copy !req
674. Ah, we have guests.Copy !req
675. Sort of.Copy !req
676. My brother, the doctor.Copy !req
677. Werner Klopek.
How nice to meet you.Copy !req
678. Ray Peterson.Copy !req
679. Oh, pardon my glove.Copy !req
680. I thought the candles would be romantic...
for the ladies.Copy !req
681. - They're lovely.
- I really must apologize for the paint.Copy !req
682. I was just touching up
one of my pictures.Copy !req
683. I find painting relaxes me.Copy !req
684. Sugar substitute?Copy !req
685. No, thank you.Copy !req
686. It was impolite of us
not to have introduced ourselves sooner.Copy !req
687. I find my work
is rather solitary.Copy !req
688. It always keeps us
on the move.Copy !req
689. Did you know we've had to move
four times in as many years?Copy !req
690. Oh, all that moving must be
very hard on you, Hans.Copy !req
691. Indeed.
And tomorrow...Copy !req
692. Tomorrow we must all
go to the university...Copy !req
693. to discuss
yet another transfer.Copy !req
694. No... And we're just
getting to know you.Copy !req
695. That's a shame.
Isn't that a shame, honey?Copy !req
696. That's a shame.Copy !req
697. Says who?Copy !req
698. And I was just remarking
to Hans... today...Copy !req
699. how nice it would be...Copy !req
700. to meet all of our
new neighbors...Copy !req
701. and here you are.Copy !req
702. Actually, Doc,
we're not all here.Copy !req
703. Walter, the old man next door.
We don't know where the hell he is.Copy !req
704. Oh, God! Jesus Christ!Copy !req
705. Sorry! Sorry! Sorry! Ow!Copy !req
706. Terrible, terrible thing,
the plight of the elderly.Copy !req
707. We were just remarking the other day
about how an old guy like that...Copy !req
708. could just drop off
the face of the Earth without a sign.Copy !req
709. Vanish. No one ever see him again.
No trace. Nothing.Copy !req
710. Right, Ray? Yesterday, wasn't it?
We were just talking about it yesterday afternoon.Copy !req
711. I bet you were.Copy !req
712. Look, why don't we just cut
all this polite crap, alright?Copy !req
713. What's the weird goddamn noise
you got comin' outta here all the time?Copy !req
714. Uh, I think we should go...Copy !req
715. - What have you got in the cellar, Herr Klopek?
- Mark!Copy !req
716. Ray, come on!
Tell 'em what you saw. Tell 'em.Copy !req
717. - I have to use your bathroom.
- Ray, remember night before last?Copy !req
718. - You said they were digging. Ray!
- Don't open that!Copy !req
719. You keep a horse
in the basement?Copy !req
720. - Is it a burglar?
- No, it's Art.Copy !req
721. - Another neighbor?
- A fat one.Copy !req
722. Go on, you mangy mutt!Copy !req
723. I'm sorry
if Landru frightened you.Copy !req
724. - His size tends to overwhelm people.
- Oh, no, no.Copy !req
725. We've imposed on you enough for one evening.
It's been lovely meeting you.Copy !req
726. - See you, Doc. Later, Reub.
- Bye, Hans.Copy !req
727. Yes, Doctor.
It's been real.Copy !req
728. - Are you alright?
- Yes, I'm fine.Copy !req
729. Let's do this again sometime...
real soon.Copy !req
730. - We'll see ourselves to the door. Honey?
- Good night!Copy !req
731. Okay, okay, I admit it.
They're slightly eccentric.Copy !req
732. "Slightly eccentric"? Carol...Copy !req
733. - But that doesn't mean...
- Come on!Copy !req
734. they chopped Walter into little pieces!
- These people are clearly psychos!Copy !req
735. Ray, what do you think?Copy !req
736. Yeah, what do you think?Copy !req
737. Right.
Been awfully quiet, Ray.Copy !req
738. Maybe we could have
a little participation here.Copy !req
739. I think they're clean.
I think Bonnie and Carol are right.Copy !req
740. - See?
- That's great, Ray.Copy !req
741. Just pull open the door,
pull the rip cord and bail out on us.Copy !req
742. That's rich, considering you're the one
who started this whole thing to begin with.Copy !req
743. - Who started it, tuna neck?
- "Tuna neck"?Copy !req
744. - You instigated this whole damn thing!
- You know who instigated this?Copy !req
745. Your little boy watching people dig
in the backyard!Copy !req
746. - You leave my...
- Honey, would you and Bonnie excuse us?Copy !req
747. I think I should have a talk
with the boys in the den for a few minutes.Copy !req
748. Okay.Copy !req
749. It's good to see you've
come to your senses, sweetie.Copy !req
750. Just a minute or two.Copy !req
751. So, what's the deal, Ray?Copy !req
752. Are you siding with the chicks against us?
Is that it?Copy !req
753. Yeah, are you totally
pussy-whipped or what?Copy !req
754. Just take your balls
out of your wife's purse.Copy !req
755. Make a stand
for one time in your life.Copy !req
756. Hey, Ray, come on!Copy !req
757. - It's just a figure of speech!
- It's a joke. He's kiddin' around.Copy !req
758. Oh, it's Walter's rug.Copy !req
759. So you got an old guy's wig.
Big deal.Copy !req
760. You've had that
in your trousers all day?Copy !req
761. After you found this
in Walter's house yesterday...Copy !req
762. I slipped it back in
through the mail slot.Copy !req
763. - Yeah?
- Where did you get it this time?Copy !req
764. Klopeks? Wow...Copy !req
765. After the dog came up
out of the basement...Copy !req
766. I found it wedged
between a bunch of magazines...Copy !req
767. all of which, I might add,
were addressed to Walter.Copy !req
768. Well, then...
then that means that...Copy !req
769. Klopeks went back
inside Walter's house...Copy !req
770. and got the hair.Copy !req
771. What do we do now,
soldier?Copy !req
772. You heard them say
they were going away tomorrow.Copy !req
773. - Yeah...
- As soon as that car leaves in the morning...Copy !req
774. I'm going over the fence and
I'm not comin' back 'til I find a dead body.Copy !req
775. Nobody knocks off an old man
in my neighborhood and gets away with it.Copy !req
776. Gentlemen, we are on alert.Copy !req
777. Honey, you know
what you could do?Copy !req
778. Go get those flag stones at the garden center
and put them along the walk.Copy !req
779. Yeah, that'd be
a nice project.Copy !req
780. I've got a foursome lined up with Art today
in an hour and a half though.Copy !req
781. I didn't mean right now.
You hate golf.Copy !req
782. Well, it's my vacation, honey.
I just wanted to get out of the house.Copy !req
783. I would think, after the week
I put you through, you'd want to too.Copy !req
784. Why do I get the impression
that you're trying to get rid of me?Copy !req
785. I'm gonna be gone all day, hon.
It'd be a good time for you to go see Evelyn.Copy !req
786. And you have a good time
with the cousins.Copy !req
787. I hate them, Dad.
Rudy is a moron, and Diane smells.Copy !req
788. Have a nice weekend.Copy !req
789. I'll see you later.Copy !req
790. Hey, Carol,
see my new golf glove here?Copy !req
791. I got it so I don't get blisters
playing golf.Copy !req
792. We're gonna be playing
that much golf. Really.Copy !req
793. Fore!Copy !req
794. Think she bought it?Copy !req
795. Yo, Steve-man.
Hey, what's the haps, dude?Copy !req
796. You gotta come down here today.
It's gonna be live.Copy !req
797. No, you've got to.Copy !req
798. Something's about to happen.
I can't tell you.Copy !req
799. Are you sure you know
what you're doing, Art?Copy !req
800. There's an awful lot of juice
going through those wires.Copy !req
801. You hit the wrong one,
you're a Post Toastie.Copy !req
802. Ray, electricity is our friend.Copy !req
803. Besides, we wanna take out
their alarms, don't we?Copy !req
804. I was thinking maybe we could bypass
the fence altogether and find another way in.Copy !req
805. No one knows how many trip alarms
they have in there.Copy !req
806. No, no, I can take out everything they've got
with one clip of the snips.Copy !req
807. - Right, Captain?
- Affirmative.Copy !req
808. Siren mode.
Pretty neat, eh?Copy !req
809. You know, I can raise
all the police channels...Copy !req
810. and the power company channels
on this baby.Copy !req
811. - Now be careful up there, Art.
- It's okay, Ray. I'll get it.Copy !req
812. We gotta get going though.
We're burning daylight here.Copy !req
813. Hey, where should we start diggin'
once we get over there?Copy !req
814. We start in the backyard,
then check the basement.Copy !req
815. Be careful up there.
Go slow, huh?Copy !req
816. Hey, safety is my middle name.Copy !req
817. I thought
his middle name was Louis.Copy !req
818. Are you sure you're
alright up there?Copy !req
819. I don't know
that he knows what he's doing.Copy !req
820. Well, why didn't you
go up there?Copy !req
821. It's very high.Copy !req
822. Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
823. Jesus Christ!
Get an ambulance on that thing!Copy !req
824. I'm okay. I'm alright.Copy !req
825. God!Copy !req
826. I took a jolt, but I'm okay.Copy !req
827. - Can you stand up? Use your legs?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
828. - Try one of these.
- Oh, yeah, that's better.Copy !req
829. - Whoa, whoa.
- No, no, no. Jesus.Copy !req
830. Look at my fingers.
My fingernails are black.Copy !req
831. - My fillings are hot.
- Hey, look at this.Copy !req
832. The man actually hit the right wire!
There's no alarm!Copy !req
833. - Hey, good work.
- Congratulations. Now give me five.Copy !req
834. - I'm gonna set up a communications base.
- You got it.Copy !req
835. - Here, you're gonna need this.
- Here... Here.Copy !req
836. Hey, hey, hey, Rumsfield! Dude!
What are you doing with the gun?Copy !req
837. Just shut up
and paint your goddamn house!Copy !req
838. Fine...Copy !req
839. Task Force One,
this is Eagle Eye.Copy !req
840. You are all clear.Copy !req
841. Roger, Eagle Eye.
We're going over.Copy !req
842. Roger.
Red rover, red rover, let Ray go over.Copy !req
843. Good. Now, red rover, red rover,
let Art go on over.Copy !req
844. That's great. Over.Copy !req
845. Man, it's really getting
hot out here.Copy !req
846. Yeah.
Yeah, it is getting hot, Art.Copy !req
847. Why don't you dig one
of your own holes, huh?Copy !req
848. Well, I was just checking this one.
Besides, the radio... I was monitoring...Copy !req
849. This is turning out to be a lot more work
than we thought it was gonna be.Copy !req
850. Why don't we check the house?
It's probably a lot cooler in there.Copy !req
851. That's a good idea.
Let's try the house.Copy !req
852. We'll start in the basement.Copy !req
853. We'll start in the basement
and just work our way up.Copy !req
854. You know, Ray, I'm thinking the reason
we didn't find anything in the backyard...Copy !req
855. is because they probably
weren't burying anybody in the backyard.Copy !req
856. They were digging bodies up and they
probably buried them in the basement of the house.Copy !req
857. That's a possibility, Art.Copy !req
858. I say we start in the kitchen.
They probably got some cold beer in there.Copy !req
859. Or some knockwurst or something.
I'm starving.Copy !req
860. It's locked.Copy !req
861. - Hey, give me a credit card.
- Yeah.Copy !req
862. - Where did you learn how to do that?
- I don't know how to do this.Copy !req
863. Ah, it's a shit store anyway.Copy !req
864. Ray... Ray, do the words "breaking and entering"
mean anything to you?Copy !req
865. Hey, Mr. Rumsfield!Copy !req
866. Hey, yo, man!
I wanted to introduce you to my friend.Copy !req
867. - This is Steve Kuntz.
- Hey, dude.Copy !req
868. - He's here to watch the show this afternoon.
- Great...Copy !req
869. It's about time, you guys.
Hey, Ricky!Copy !req
870. Hey, man,
when's the big unveiling, huh?Copy !req
871. - Look, I gotta go to work in a couple hours.
- Hey, man, piss off!Copy !req
872. - Ricky!
- Yo!Copy !req
873. - Get this lame-o out of your yard!
- Get out of my yard, lame-o!Copy !req
874. - What's his problem?
- Hey! Hey! Get out of my yard!Copy !req
875. Ray, look at the size
of this furnace.Copy !req
876. This thing's got to be
80 years old.Copy !req
877. These old places
have got to be hell to heat, huh?Copy !req
878. Well, this house
isn't that big.Copy !req
879. What the hell does he need
a furnace like this for?Copy !req
880. I think there's been some modifications on this
'cause this conduit's brand new.Copy !req
881. It runs all the way back over there
and up through a hole in the ceiling.Copy !req
882. I saw some of that
in their living room.Copy !req
883. And a thermostat
on a home furnace...Copy !req
884. Is that supposed to go to 5,000 degrees,
do you think?Copy !req
885. It must be what all the noise was.
Look at all the stuff they put together down here.Copy !req
886. - They got this place wired with batteries.
- There's gotta be 40 of 'em.Copy !req
887. Look, we got power here.Copy !req
888. This is no ordinary furnace.Copy !req
889. What's that?Copy !req
890. Yo, Rumsfield!Copy !req
891. Awesome!Copy !req
892. Mr. Rumsfield, are you okay?Copy !req
893. - Yes, yes, I'm alright.
- That was very cool, man.Copy !req
894. Art. Art, look!Copy !req
895. - Look! I found it!
- That's loose dirt.Copy !req
896. They must have burned his body up
in the furnace...Copy !req
897. and then buried his bones right here.
- What do we do now?Copy !req
898. I'll tell him that
they built a crematorium down here.Copy !req
899. No, don't tell him that.
He'll just want to come down.Copy !req
900. - Just wait 'til we find something.
- Ray, that could take all night.Copy !req
901. Mr. Rumsfield, you guys managed
to knock out the power in the entire block.Copy !req
902. - Probably the whole south end of town.
- Ricky, shut up!Copy !req
903. Hey Rick! Listen, man.
We're gonna make a run to McD's.Copy !req
904. - You want a Quarterpounder or something?
- Hey, no way!Copy !req
905. Hey, wait, you guys can't go now.
It's the best part.Copy !req
906. - I called the pizza dude.
- Alright!Copy !req
907. Ray, I think we can give up.
They'd never bury him this deep.Copy !req
908. Who, besides us, would dig this deep
into this kind of sludge?Copy !req
909. - That was metal! That was metal! You hit a crypt!
- Hey!Copy !req
910. They buried him in a crypt!
I'll get my blowtorch! I'll call it in! I'll call it in!Copy !req
911. Hello! Hey, uh...
Eagle Eye, this is Ground Force One.Copy !req
912. We have found Walter! We found Walter!
I'll be out in a minute!Copy !req
913. Dig there! Dig there!
Oh, yes! We found him!Copy !req
914. We caught you, Reub.Copy !req
915. You've been playing us for saps,
but you were wrong.Copy !req
916. Mr. Weingartner! Art!Copy !req
917. Look! Look over there!
Look! Right now!Copy !req
918. Go on. Go on. I'll...Copy !req
919. Walter!Copy !req
920. Let me go. I'm alright.Copy !req
921. Ray! Raymond!Copy !req
922. Listen up real carefully,
mister.Copy !req
923. We got a real problem.Copy !req
924. Hey, Ray, guess who's not in the basement!
Walter!Copy !req
925. He's back! He's back!Copy !req
926. Klopeks! With coppers!Copy !req
927. Keep 'em busy. Keep 'em busy.
I'll get Ray.Copy !req
928. - Keep them busy!
- Alright, okay, alright!Copy !req
929. Stop! Stop right there!
Don't go any further!Copy !req
930. You're going!
Stop!Copy !req
931. Hey!Copy !req
932. Mr. Officer, wait.Copy !req
933. There are these people in my parents' house
and they're eating all their food!Copy !req
934. Ray, Walter showed up!Copy !req
935. - And the Klopeks! I got Ricky down there...
- I hit the gas line! Run!Copy !req
936. - Gas!
- Run!Copy !req
937. - What is the problem here?
- Thank God you're here.Copy !req
938. - No problem, sir.
- This is not a police matter.Copy !req
939. There have been
some intruders!Copy !req
940. We hit a pipe!
There's all kinds of gas!Copy !req
941. It's gonna blow!Copy !req
942. - Alright!
- Man, Ricky sure knows how to throw a party.Copy !req
943. Was that your house?Copy !req
944. Ray...Copy !req
945. Something is moving in there.Copy !req
946. Ray... Ray, you found it, right?
Before it blew, you found it, right?Copy !req
947. Hey, tell me you found it!
You found it, right?Copy !req
948. Before everything went off,
you had to have found it!Copy !req
949. You got a lawsuit
on your hands, mister.Copy !req
950. Oh, God, what's this?Copy !req
951. Your attention, please.Copy !req
952. Please stay behind the barricade.Copy !req
953. Miss, you want
to step back, please?Copy !req
954. - I live here. That's my house.
- Sorry, I've got to get the all clear from the gas company.Copy !req
955. Excuse me, I can clear this.
This is Mrs. Peterson. She lives here.Copy !req
956. - Did I ask you?
- Miss, you wanna come back here, please?Copy !req
957. Excuse me, pal.
Maybe I didn't make myself clear enough.Copy !req
958. Hey!Copy !req
959. - Oh, honey, what have they done to you?
- You cut your hair.Copy !req
960. I like it.Copy !req
961. I'm telling you, Officer,
there's a body buried in that house.Copy !req
962. - The old man, Mr. Seznick, right?
- Yeah, the old guy who's sitting here...Copy !req
963. is buried in that house, Sherlock.
- Watch it.Copy !req
964. Hey, where was he anyway?Copy !req
965. Mr. Seznick was at the hospital
'til 8:00 this evening.Copy !req
966. Seems that Monday night,
he had some heart palpitations.Copy !req
967. So he called his daughter and son-in-law,
and they took him to the hospital.Copy !req
968. What about the wig?
They found a wig in this house.Copy !req
969. - His wig!
- The Klopeks were picking up his mail for him.Copy !req
970. Seems the doctor somehow got that wig
mixed up with the newspapers and letters.Copy !req
971. "Doctor"? You don't believe that
this guy's a real doctor, do you? Come on!Copy !req
972. Yes, I do believe he's a doctor.Copy !req
973. In fact, he's a very well-respected
pathologist, my friend.Copy !req
974. And I'd say that you are damn lucky
you didn't kill him in that blast.Copy !req
975. Oh, yeah,
I thank my lucky stars.Copy !req
976. - Take care of this nitwit.
- Hey, sorry about your car, man.Copy !req
977. Destruction of private property.
Destruction of public property.Copy !req
978. Three counts
of criminal trespassing.Copy !req
979. Harassment, assault,
vandalism!Copy !req
980. And that poor old man claims
he's got a ransom note...Copy !req
981. that says
you kidnapped his dog!Copy !req
982. Do you hear me okay,
Mr. Peterson?Copy !req
983. I really do like your hair, honey.Copy !req
984. You know,
this doesn't change a thing.Copy !req
985. They may think it does. They may think
they're off the hook, but they're not.Copy !req
986. No, they're not. Are they, Ray?
Go ahead, tell 'em.Copy !req
987. Tell 'em.
We got the goods on 'em, don't we?Copy !req
988. Someday they're gonna dig up
the back of that yard...Copy !req
989. and they're gonna find the rest
of that skeleton to go with that femur.Copy !req
990. - It might not be Walter, but it's gonna be...
- Shut up, Art! Shut up!Copy !req
991. God, you don't know
when to quit, do you?Copy !req
992. Look at me!Copy !req
993. I'm a shell of a man
because of you, Art.Copy !req
994. - Now, now...
- Soldiers!Copy !req
995. You leave 'em alone!
Get off their case already!Copy !req
996. They didn't do anything to us.
They didn't do anything to us!Copy !req
997. Alright, so they're different!
So they keep to themselves!Copy !req
998. Can you blame them? They live next door
to people who break into their house...Copy !req
999. and burn it down
while they're gone for the day!Copy !req
1000. Remember what you were saying
about people in the 'burbs, Art?Copy !req
1001. People like Skip?Copy !req
1002. People who mow their lawn
for the 800th time and then snap?Copy !req
1003. Well, that's us!
It's not them! That's us!Copy !req
1004. We're the ones vaulting over fences
and peeking in through people's windows!Copy !req
1005. We're the ones throwing garbage
in the street and lighting fires!Copy !req
1006. We're the ones who are acting suspicious
and paranoid, Art!Copy !req
1007. We're the lunatics! Us!
It's not them!Copy !req
1008. It's us.Copy !req
1009. I don't know what to say.
What, do you want me to move?Copy !req
1010. - I'm gonna kill him!
- You're crazy!Copy !req
1011. - Back off! Back off!
- Stop it! Stop it!Copy !req
1012. Break it up!Copy !req
1013. - Stop it! Stop it!
- I don't care! I've been blown up!Copy !req
1014. Take me to the hospital!Copy !req
1015. Take me to a hospital,
I'm sick.Copy !req
1016. My eye...Copy !req
1017. Honey? I'll just find out
what hospital they're taking you to...Copy !req
1018. and then I'll...
follow right along.Copy !req
1019. - Okay?
- Okay, honey.Copy !req
1020. - You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine, Carol.Copy !req
1021. Okay, hepcats,
get off my car!Copy !req
1022. - You know, dude, you should hang out a little bit.
- Get off my car!Copy !req
1023. - This goes for you!
- Chill out with us! We've got the pizza dude coming!Copy !req
1024. You imbecile!
You sub-moron, you!Copy !req
1025. Who's that?Copy !req
1026. Oh, Dr. Klopek...Copy !req
1027. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1028. You know, Dr. Klopek, when I get out of prison,
I'm gonna help you rebuild your house.Copy !req
1029. I'll even do some of the work myself.
I have the tools.Copy !req
1030. Carol's father just gave me
a brand new set of tools.Copy !req
1031. Do I look like an idiot,
Mr. Peterson?Copy !req
1032. - No...
- Do you take me for an imbecile?Copy !req
1033. No...Copy !req
1034. You may have fooled the others,
Mr. Peterson...Copy !req
1035. but you don't fool me.Copy !req
1036. Uh, I fooled the others?Copy !req
1037. - But you don't fool me.
- I don't?Copy !req
1038. No, you don't.Copy !req
1039. Am I missing something here,
Doctor?Copy !req
1040. Come now, Mr. Peterson.
You were in my basement.Copy !req
1041. Surely, you looked in the furnace.Copy !req
1042. I saw your furnace, Doctor...Copy !req
1043. but I figured a man's furnace
is his own business.Copy !req
1044. You saw one of my skulls,
didn't you?Copy !req
1045. Oh, yes. I know you did.Copy !req
1046. It belonged
to a neighbor of yours.Copy !req
1047. The name was Knapp.Copy !req
1048. We took the house from them.Copy !req
1049. I offered to buy it,
but you know how old people are.Copy !req
1050. They grow so attached
to things.Copy !req
1051. Uh, you know, Dr. Klopek,
I think I forgot my wallet.Copy !req
1052. I let you keep the femur.Copy !req
1053. Now... now, I want my skull.Copy !req
1054. Or, perhaps,
I might just take yours.Copy !req
1055. Hans.Copy !req
1056. Uh, hey!Copy !req
1057. Hey, the pizza dude!Copy !req
1058. - Yeah! Way to go!
- Alright!Copy !req
1059. Far out!Copy !req
1060. Citizen's arrest!
Citizen's arrest!Copy !req
1061. I, Ray Peterson, am placing you
under citizen's arrest for my attempted murder!Copy !req
1062. The man doesn't know
what he's talking about.Copy !req
1063. - Citizen's arrest. Citizen's arrest.
- Oh, Ray.Copy !req
1064. Don't start with me, Carol. The man confessed.
They murdered the Knapps.Copy !req
1065. - He's demented.
- Hey, Sherlock.Copy !req
1066. Get the Klopeks to tell you
where they buried the stiffs, okay?Copy !req
1067. You don't have a stiff.
You don't have any evidence at all!Copy !req
1068. You do now.Copy !req
1069. This your vehicle, Dr. Klopek?Copy !req
1070. Let's go, Doc.Copy !req
1071. Hey! Pinocchio!Copy !req
1072. Where are you going?Copy !req
1073. Gotcha!Copy !req
1074. Don't you make a move, sonny.Copy !req
1075. I was 18 months in the bush,
and I can snap your neck in a heartbeat.Copy !req
1076. I think the message
to psychos, fanatics, murderers...Copy !req
1077. nutcases
all over the world is, uh...Copy !req
1078. do not mess with suburbanites because,
uh, frankly, we're not gonna take it anymore.Copy !req
1079. We're not gonna be content
to look after our lawns...Copy !req
1080. and wax our cars,
paint our houses.Copy !req
1081. We're out to get 'em, Don.
We are out to get them.Copy !req
1082. - Hello.
- Hi.Copy !req
1083. So, what are you gonna do now?Copy !req
1084. I'm gonna pack a bag
and go up to the lake.Copy !req
1085. We got 'em, neighbor.Copy !req
1086. - Get away from him.
- Hey, you guys!Copy !req
1087. You wanna go down to Bowl-o-Rama
for a beer or something?Copy !req
1088. Man, that was an incredible choke hold
you put on me, pal.Copy !req
1089. Carol, the guy's a brute.
How's that finger? Is it okay?Copy !req
1090. Where are you guys going?
Where you going?Copy !req
1091. Going on vacation.Copy !req
1092. "Vacation"? What, are you crazy?
This is a major media event here.Copy !req
1093. Geraldo Rivera's coming, and he's gonna
excavate the basement of the Klopeks!Copy !req
1094. It's gonna be broadcast
on satellite all over the world, live!Copy !req
1095. Art!Copy !req
1096. Your wife's home!Copy !req
1097. - And your house is on fire!
- Art, where are you?Copy !req
1098. - My wife is home!
- Mr. Peterson, where you going?Copy !req
1099. It's just starting to get good.Copy !req
1100. I'm going away
for a while, Ricky.Copy !req
1101. I want you to keep an eye
on the neighborhood for me.Copy !req
1102. You betcha, Mr. Peterson.Copy !req
1103. No problem.Copy !req
1104. God, I love this street.Copy !req