1. Survival of the fittest.Copy !req
2. It's the law of the jungle.Copy !req
3. There's always someone trying
to take what's yours.Copy !req
4. How do I know?Copy !req
5. It almost happened to me.Copy !req
6. Hi-yah!Copy !req
7. Tim Templeton...Copy !req
8. quit monkeying around.Copy !req
9. Hot dogs are getting cold.Copy !req
10. Hot dogs?Copy !req
11. At least, this is how I remember it.Copy !req
12. All right, buddy, let's eat.Copy !req
13. You see, I was seven years old...Copy !req
14. and back then,
you relied on your imagination.Copy !req
15. When I wasn't exploring the Congo...Copy !req
16. I was a deep sea diver.Copy !req
17. Tim!Copy !req
18. Our hero!Copy !req
19. Don't worry, Mom and Dad.Copy !req
20. I got this!Copy !req
21. Grab on!Copy !req
22. Some days, I rescued my parents.Copy !req
23. That way!Copy !req
24. Other days, they rescued me.Copy !req
25. - I'm losing control.
- Tim, look out!Copy !req
26. Tree!Copy !req
27. You're breaking up!Copy !req
28. Slow down, Tim!Copy !req
29. - Turn, Tim.
- Turn!Copy !req
30. - Are you hurt?
- I'm okay.Copy !req
31. Show Mommy your teeth.Copy !req
32. It was just the three of us.Copy !req
33. The Templetons.Copy !req
34. And three is the perfect number.Copy !req
35. Interesting fact...Copy !req
36. did you know that the triangle
is the strongest shape found in nature?Copy !req
37. I was the luckiest kid ever.Copy !req
38. My parents even had cool jobs.Copy !req
39. They worked for the biggest pet company
in the world...Copy !req
40. Puppy Co.Copy !req
41. - Yes, Mr. Francis?
- Puppy Co needs you.Copy !req
42. It's go time.Copy !req
43. They worked in a department
called "Marketing..."Copy !req
44. where they got to launch new products.Copy !req
45. Even though my parents worked really hard...Copy !req
46. they still made just enough time for me.Copy !req
47. Three stories, five hugs,
and my special song, right?Copy !req
48. You got it!Copy !req
49. Blackbird singing in the dead of nightCopy !req
50. Take these broken wings and learn to flyCopy !req
51. All your lifeCopy !req
52. You were only waiting
For this moment to ariseCopy !req
53. Hey, Tim. How would you like
to have a baby brother?Copy !req
54. No, thanks. I'm enough.Copy !req
55. Life was good. Life was perfect.Copy !req
56. But as I drifted off to sleep...Copy !req
57. something my parents said got me thinking.Copy !req
58. Where do babies come from?Copy !req
59. The day I got a little brother
started like any other day...Copy !req
60. but little did I know...Copy !req
61. my life would never be the same.Copy !req
62. Wake up, little halflings! It's 7:00 a.m.Copy !req
63. Wake up, little halflings!Copy !req
64. Morning, Wizzie!Copy !req
65. What great adventure
lies in wait for you today?Copy !req
66. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
67. My parents always said
that I had an overactive imagination.Copy !req
68. But I clearly remember...Copy !req
69. the baby was delivered in a taxi.Copy !req
70. What the...Copy !req
71. Hey!Copy !req
72. Tim, look who's here.Copy !req
73. Meet your new baby brother.Copy !req
74. Baby what?Copy !req
75. Brother.Copy !req
76. I had a million questions.Copy !req
77. Who is this guy? Why is he here?Copy !req
78. What's with that outfit?Copy !req
79. Why's he so fat? Why's he staring at me?Copy !req
80. Does he know karate? What's going on?Copy !req
81. That way?Copy !req
82. - Okay.
- Okay.Copy !req
83. Right from the start,
he was yelling at people...Copy !req
84. ordering everyone around.Copy !req
85. Oh, you want this?Copy !req
86. One thing was clear. He was the boss.Copy !req
87. He set up his office, right
smack dab in the middle of the house.Copy !req
88. He conducted meetings.Copy !req
89. - You called?
- Do you need Señor Squeaky?Copy !req
90. Lots and lots of meetings.Copy !req
91. Even in the middle of the night.Copy !req
92. I'm up! I'm up!Copy !req
93. - We're coming!
- We'll be right there!Copy !req
94. If things weren't done
to his immediate satisfaction...Copy !req
95. he had a fit.Copy !req
96. - Where's the bottle?
- He has to have his bottle!Copy !req
97. He had everyone wrapped around
his chubby little finger.Copy !req
98. Everyone except for me.Copy !req
99. - Diaper!
- Bottle!Copy !req
100. Dad! I can't sleep.Copy !req
101. I know, bud. Me neither.Copy !req
102. The baby needs a lot of attention right now.Copy !req
103. Okay, good talk!Copy !req
104. - But...
- It's okay.Copy !req
105. Daddy's here. Daddy's here.Copy !req
106. What about me?Copy !req
107. The year: 2057.Copy !req
108. Ensign T-Rex and I are investigating
a hostile alien invasion.Copy !req
109. It's so much worse than we thought.Copy !req
110. Mom, he's naked!Copy !req
111. I'm naked!Copy !req
112. Say "naked."Copy !req
113. No!Copy !req
114. Who's Mommy's little cutie?
Are you Mommy's little cutie?Copy !req
115. No, he's Daddy's little tough guy, right?Copy !req
116. You know one of us has to go
with Mr. Francis to the pet convention.Copy !req
117. In Vegas.Copy !req
118. - You know what? You should go.
- No, no. You should go.Copy !req
119. Well, you need a break.Copy !req
120. - I'll stay with the baby, and you...
- Maybe the baby should decide.Copy !req
121. Who do you want to stay with you?
Daddy or Mommy?Copy !req
122. Or Daddy?Copy !req
123. He wants his mommy.Copy !req
124. Okay, we need to talk!Copy !req
125. In private.Copy !req
126. - Sure.
- About what, bud?Copy !req
127. About the b-a-b-e-e.Copy !req
128. "Y," Tim.Copy !req
129. Why? Because he came out of nowhere!Copy !req
130. We don't even know him.Copy !req
131. How can we trust him?Copy !req
132. Come on, he's just a baby.Copy !req
133. Seriously? I'm the only one that thinks
there's something weird about this guy?Copy !req
134. - Oopsie! I got it.
- Five-second rule.Copy !req
135. Tim?Copy !req
136. Look at him! He wears a suit!Copy !req
137. I know. Isn't it cute?
He's like a little man.Copy !req
138. He carries a briefcase.Copy !req
139. Does no else think that's...Copy !req
140. I don't know, a little freaky?Copy !req
141. Well, you carried Lam-Lam around
until you were like...Copy !req
142. This is not about Lam-Lam.Copy !req
143. All babies are different, Tim.Copy !req
144. And each one is special.Copy !req
145. He's taking over the whole house!Copy !req
146. Are you taking over the house?Copy !req
147. Yes, you are. Yes, you are.Copy !req
148. Trust me, one day you're gonna
get to know this little guy...Copy !req
149. and you are gonna love him
with all of your heart.Copy !req
150. Just like we do.Copy !req
151. All of your heart?Copy !req
152. Never.Copy !req
153. Hello!Copy !req
154. It's time for my three stories,
five hugs, and special song!Copy !req
155. How about one story...Copy !req
156. three hugs, and my special song?Copy !req
157. Just my special song?Copy !req
158. Mom?Copy !req
159. Dad?Copy !req
160. Hey.Copy !req
161. What happened to bedtime?Copy !req
162. We'll have it on Monday, Mr. Francis.Copy !req
163. Don't cry! Don't cry.Copy !req
164. Hello?Copy !req
165. Hello? No, ma'am, not yet.Copy !req
166. No, I'm not making excuses.Copy !req
167. Yes, ma'am,
I know I've been here a long time.Copy !req
168. Believe me, it feels like my whole life.Copy !req
169. I'm making great progress
with the parents already.Copy !req
170. The usual procedure,
sleep deprivation, hunger strikes.Copy !req
171. They're very disoriented.Copy !req
172. I've got them
eating out of the palm of my hand.Copy !req
173. They do everything for me.Copy !req
174. It's hilarious.Copy !req
175. But I think the kid might be on to me.Copy !req
176. No, I can handle him.Copy !req
177. I know how important this mission is
to the company.Copy !req
178. Mission?Copy !req
179. Well, trust me, ma'am.
You got the right baby for this job.Copy !req
180. Hands up, devil baby!Copy !req
181. Fart! Poop! Doodie!Copy !req
182. I've gotta deal with the k-I-d.Copy !req
183. You can talk!Copy !req
184. Uh, goo-goo Ga-ga.Copy !req
185. No, you can really talk. I heard you!Copy !req
186. Fine. I can talk.Copy !req
187. Now, let's see if you can listen.Copy !req
188. Get me a double espresso...Copy !req
189. and see if there's someplace around here
with decent sushi.Copy !req
190. I'd kill for a spicy tuna roll
right about now.Copy !req
191. Get yourself a little something.Copy !req
192. Who are you?Copy !req
193. Let's just say I'm the boss.Copy !req
194. The boss? You're a baby! You wear a diaper.Copy !req
195. You know who else wears diapers?Copy !req
196. Astronauts and NASCAR drivers, that's who.Copy !req
197. It's called efficiency, Templeton.Copy !req
198. The average toddler spends, what?
45 hours a year on the potty?Copy !req
199. I'm the boss.
I don't have that kind of spare time.Copy !req
200. Well, you're not the boss of me.Copy !req
201. - I am the boss of you.
- No, you're not.Copy !req
202. - Am, too.
- Are not.Copy !req
203. - Am, too!
- Are not!Copy !req
204. - Am, too.
- Are not!Copy !req
205. - Am, too.
- Are not!Copy !req
206. Am, too. Am, too.Copy !req
207. I was here first.Copy !req
208. Just wait until Mom and Dad find out
about this.Copy !req
209. Oh, yeah? You think they'd pick you over me?Copy !req
210. With your track record?Copy !req
211. You don't know anything about me.Copy !req
212. So that's how you wanna play it, huh?
Let's see.Copy !req
213. Templeton, Timothy. Middle name...Copy !req
214. I'm sorry.Copy !req
215. Leslie!Copy !req
216. - Mostly C's...
- How do you know all that?Copy !req
217. Can't ride a bike without training wheels?Copy !req
218. Even bears can ride a bike
without training wheels, Leslie.Copy !req
219. DOB says you're seven.Copy !req
220. Seven and a half.Copy !req
221. Power nap! You were saying?Copy !req
222. I'm seven and a half.Copy !req
223. Exactly! You're old.Copy !req
224. It's time to make way
for the next generation.Copy !req
225. It's the way of the world.Copy !req
226. You would never ask your parents
for an old toy.Copy !req
227. Lam-Lam?Copy !req
228. Everyone wants the hot, new thing.Copy !req
229. Destroy. Destroy.Copy !req
230. - Lam-Lam!
- I've got fresh batteries.Copy !req
231. Boom!Copy !req
232. Mom and Dad don't even know you.Copy !req
233. They love me!Copy !req
234. Oh, yeah? Do the math, kid.Copy !req
235. There's only so much love to go around.Copy !req
236. It's like these beads.Copy !req
237. You used to have all your parents' love.Copy !req
238. All their time. All their attention.Copy !req
239. You had all the beads.Copy !req
240. But then I came along.Copy !req
241. Babies take up a lot of time.Copy !req
242. They need a lot of attention.
They get all the love.Copy !req
243. We could share.Copy !req
244. You obviously didn't go to business school.Copy !req
245. Look, Templeton,
the numbers just don't add up.Copy !req
246. There's not enough love for the two of us.Copy !req
247. Not enough beads to go around.Copy !req
248. And then, all of a sudden,
there's no place for Tim.Copy !req
249. Tim doesn't fit anymore.Copy !req
250. Oh, no! What about Tim?Copy !req
251. So keep quiet. Stay out of my way.Copy !req
252. Or there's gonna be cutbacks.Copy !req
253. You can't be fired from your own family.Copy !req
254. Can you?Copy !req
255. Wake up, little halflings! It's 7:00 a.m.Copy !req
256. Wake up, little half...Copy !req
257. What's the use?Copy !req
258. Arise for a nutritious breakfast!Copy !req
259. It's 7:00 a.m.Copy !req
260. What's wrong, Timothy?Copy !req
261. Has that little dwarf made you blue?Copy !req
262. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
263. Then I shall cast upon him a great curse!Copy !req
264. He shall not pass!Copy !req
265. It's no use, Wizzie.Copy !req
266. He's got Mom and Dad completely fooled.Copy !req
267. If they knew what I knew,
they'd never let him stay.Copy !req
268. Perhaps your parents need to be enlightened.Copy !req
269. With a great curse!Copy !req
270. They shall not pass!Copy !req
271. Yeah. I need to enlighten them...Copy !req
272. with proof!Copy !req
273. That's what I need, proof!Copy !req
274. Expose his dark magic!Copy !req
275. Testing, testing.Copy !req
276. Testing, testing.Copy !req
277. Maybe they can return him to the store...Copy !req
278. and get their money back!Copy !req
279. We could buy a bouncy house!Copy !req
280. Godspeed, Tim! It's 8:45 a.m.Copy !req
281. Ninja.Copy !req
282. Ninja.Copy !req
283. Ninja.Copy !req
284. Ninja.Copy !req
285. Babies everywhere! They're spreading.Copy !req
286. Mom! Dad! What's going on?Copy !req
287. It's an invasion!Copy !req
288. It's a play date!Copy !req
289. That's a keeper.Copy !req
290. It's a meeting, and you won't be attending.Copy !req
291. We'll see about that.Copy !req
292. Thank you all for coming here
on such short notice.Copy !req
293. Now, before we begin...Copy !req
294. Yes, sir!Copy !req
295. - Sure is!
- Affirmative!Copy !req
296. Jimbo, run some interference.Copy !req
297. Hey!Copy !req
298. - We babies are having a crisis!
- Oh, no!Copy !req
299. - That's awful!
- Horrible!Copy !req
300. What is it?Copy !req
301. It's simpler if I just show you.
Teddy, if you please.Copy !req
302. Let's put on a show.Copy !req
303. Here we go!Copy !req
304. Jimbo, hit the lights.Copy !req
305. You see, babies aren't getting
as much love as we used to.Copy !req
306. Why? Have we been bad?Copy !req
307. No, Staci.Copy !req
308. But I'll tell you who is.Copy !req
309. Behold our mortal enemy. Puppies!Copy !req
310. No! That's exactly the problem.Copy !req
311. Puppies? What's the deal with puppies?Copy !req
312. Throughout history...Copy !req
313. people have loved babies
more than anything in the world.Copy !req
314. We've always been a must-have item...Copy !req
315. number one on every wish list.Copy !req
316. Puppies were merely accessories.Copy !req
317. But all that changed
when the puppies began coming out...Copy !req
318. with new designer models.Copy !req
319. Each one more adorable than the last.Copy !req
320. Remember the Labradoodle?Copy !req
321. The Peekapoo?Copy !req
322. The Chiweenie?
Try to say "Chiweenie" without smiling.Copy !req
323. Not possible. Don't waste your time.Copy !req
324. We all laughed at the Shar Pei.Copy !req
325. And now it's number one in China.Copy !req
326. - Oh, no.
- That's terrible!Copy !req
327. - Horrible!
- Yes.Copy !req
328. And it gets even worse.Copy !req
329. Francis Francis, the CEO of Puppy Co,
made this announcement.Copy !req
330. Teddy, roll the clip.Copy !req
331. And we are on schedule...Copy !req
332. to release the most adorable puppy ever.Copy !req
333. We're gonna launch it
at the pet convention in Las Vegas!Copy !req
334. Watch out, world!Copy !req
335. It's gonna crush the competition!Copy !req
336. - Yay!
- No, Jimbo.Copy !req
337. No "Yay"! We are the competition!Copy !req
338. This is war.Copy !req
339. Puppies are winning, and babies are losing.Copy !req
340. Thank you, Teddy.Copy !req
341. And if this new puppy
is as cute as we fear...Copy !req
342. it could put the baby business
out of business, baby.Copy !req
343. That's awful!Copy !req
344. Bad news, baby!Copy !req
345. What are we going to do?Copy !req
346. My job is to find out exactly what
that new puppy is...Copy !req
347. so that Baby Corp can stop it.Copy !req
348. And you're going to help me.Copy !req
349. - Genius!
- Home run!Copy !req
350. You still got it, boss!Copy !req
351. Yay!Copy !req
352. Yay.Copy !req
353. Now, your parents all work for Puppy Co.Copy !req
354. So have you learned anything from them?Copy !req
355. - Yes, sir!
- Sure did!Copy !req
356. Fantastic. Triplets, go!Copy !req
357. - A.
- B.Copy !req
358. - C.
- D.Copy !req
359. No, what have you learned
about the new puppy?Copy !req
360. Yay, puppy!Copy !req
361. No, Jimbo! Puppies are evil.Copy !req
362. Staci, read back the notes.Copy !req
363. I can't read. What's it say?Copy !req
364. This is my team?Copy !req
365. A muscle-head, a bunch of yes men,
and a doodler?Copy !req
366. - Exactly!
- Affirmative!Copy !req
367. Good call.Copy !req
368. - Oh, yeah!
- Nice one, BB!Copy !req
369. Gotcha!Copy !req
370. Put that cookie down.
Cookies are for closers.Copy !req
371. - Let's have another show!
- No, Teddy!Copy !req
372. - How about a hug?
- No more shows!Copy !req
373. Boss?Copy !req
374. - There's plenty of love to go around.
- Go to sleep!Copy !req
375. Nighty-night.Copy !req
376. - Boss!
- Boss!Copy !req
377. - What?
- Parents!Copy !req
378. It's like they're having their own
little meeting.Copy !req
379. - Isn't that adorable?
- Who wants dessert?Copy !req
380. God, this is so humiliating.Copy !req
381. God, this is so humiliating.Copy !req
382. Wait until Mom and Dad hear this.Copy !req
383. Hey, Templeton, what you got there?Copy !req
384. Nothing.Copy !req
385. Hand over the tape.Copy !req
386. Never!Copy !req
387. Mom! Dad! Over here!Copy !req
388. - Hi, Timmy!
- Hi! Anyway...Copy !req
389. Flower power!Copy !req
390. You can't get away from Johnny Law,
simpleton.Copy !req
391. Fasten your seat belt. Let's go!Copy !req
392. Run, run, run.Copy !req
393. What? Hey!Copy !req
394. Uh-oh.Copy !req
395. Run, run, run.Copy !req
396. Catch, catch, catch.Copy !req
397. Yes!Copy !req
398. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
399. Let go, you little...Copy !req
400. Oh, look! The kids are finally getting along.Copy !req
401. That's nice.Copy !req
402. Sayonara!Copy !req
403. You wanna play?Copy !req
404. Let's play.Copy !req
405. No!Copy !req
406. Save Boss! Save Boss!Copy !req
407. - Get him!
- I got him!Copy !req
408. - I got him!
- I got him!Copy !req
409. You're toast, baby man!Copy !req
410. Upsies, I need upsies!Copy !req
411. Who wants...Copy !req
412. Cheese sticks!Copy !req
413. Mom, Dad! I've got proof!Copy !req
414. Someone can't go down the stairs?Copy !req
415. Nothing can stop me!Copy !req
416. Mom! Dad! Where are you guys?Copy !req
417. Hello?Copy !req
418. Where did everyone go?Copy !req
419. Mom, Dad! The baby can talk!Copy !req
420. Oh, can he now?Copy !req
421. Wait, how did you...Copy !req
422. Hand over the tape, Timmy.Copy !req
423. Or Lam-Lam gets it, see?Copy !req
424. No!Copy !req
425. What's that, Lam-Lam? You want a nose ring?Copy !req
426. It's really not my scene,
but who am I to judge?Copy !req
427. And an eyebrow ring?
Seems like a little too much, Lam-Lam.Copy !req
428. How's that gonna look in a job interview?Copy !req
429. Stop it!Copy !req
430. The tape, Timmy! Or I'm gonna rip, rip, rip.Copy !req
431. No! Let go!Copy !req
432. - You let go!
- You let go!Copy !req
433. - Give me the tape!
- Give me Lam-Lam!Copy !req
434. Whoops! Too far.Copy !req
435. Templeton! Templeton, let's be reasonable.Copy !req
436. We can be reasonable, right?
What are you doing?Copy !req
437. You've been asking for this
since you got here!Copy !req
438. We can talk about this over a juice box!Copy !req
439. Time for juice boxes is over.Copy !req
440. No, Templeton. You wouldn't.Copy !req
441. Say bye-bye, baby! You're fired!Copy !req
442. What are you doing?Copy !req
443. Nothing.Copy !req
444. My proof!Copy !req
445. Tim! Explain yourself!Copy !req
446. Yes, explain yourself.Copy !req
447. It wasn't me! It was the baby's fault.Copy !req
448. The baby's fault?Copy !req
449. It's true! He can talk.Copy !req
450. They all can talk.
They were having a meeting.Copy !req
451. There's something about puppies.Copy !req
452. It's one big baby con-spy-racy!Copy !req
453. Timothy Leslie Templeton!Copy !req
454. We are very disappointed in you.Copy !req
455. - No, we're mad at you!
- Exactly, we're mad at you.Copy !req
456. - Mad?
- You need a time-out!Copy !req
457. - You're grounded!
- Yes, grounded!Copy !req
458. - For two...
- Three!Copy !req
459. - Three days?
- Weeks!Copy !req
460. Weeks! Three weeks!Copy !req
461. For three... evers!Copy !req
462. Grounded?Copy !req
463. You're gonna stay in this house
with your baby brother...Copy !req
464. until you learn to get along.Copy !req
465. Great.Copy !req
466. It was my first time behind bars.Copy !req
467. The big house.Copy !req
468. The lock-up.Copy !req
469. Grounded for life.Copy !req
470. The minutes turned into hours,
the hours into days.Copy !req
471. Every man has his breaking point.Copy !req
472. This was mine.Copy !req
473. Blackbird singing in the dead of nightCopy !req
474. - Take these broken wings and learn to fly
- Hey, that's my song.Copy !req
475. All your lifeCopy !req
476. You were only waiting
For this moment to ariseCopy !req
477. It's okay, little halfling.Copy !req
478. Perhaps I can be of some assistance.Copy !req
479. Blackbird singing in the dead of night!Copy !req
480. Pray, take these broken wings
and learn to fly!Copy !req
481. Fly, you fools!Copy !req
482. Thanks, Wizzie.Copy !req
483. But it's not the same.Copy !req
484. If only I could reach my magical shank.Copy !req
485. I could break us out of this big house.Copy !req
486. Templeton!Copy !req
487. Templeton, we have to talk.Copy !req
488. Go away.Copy !req
489. Blackbird singing in the dead of nightCopy !req
490. Stop it!Copy !req
491. That's my song, not yours.Copy !req
492. My parents wrote it just for me.Copy !req
493. Really?
Your parents are Lennon and McCartney?Copy !req
494. No, Ted and Janice.Copy !req
495. You don't even know their names!Copy !req
496. You're just trying to steal them from me.Copy !req
497. You stole everything!Copy !req
498. You're the one who should be in jail!Copy !req
499. Look, it's time we put our differences aside.Copy !req
500. Have you been...Copy !req
501. No!Copy !req
502. Where's HR when you need them?Copy !req
503. Take it.Copy !req
504. I don't want your filthy money.Copy !req
505. Look, I told you to stay out of my way.Copy !req
506. I can't! You're in my house.Copy !req
507. I don't wanna be here...Copy !req
508. any more than you want me to be here.Copy !req
509. Then why are you torturing me?Copy !req
510. The truth is I'm no ordinary baby.Copy !req
511. Well, no kidding.Copy !req
512. I'm on a mission from above.Copy !req
513. Are you the Baby Jesus?Copy !req
514. Yes. I'm the Baby Jesus.Copy !req
515. No!Copy !req
516. You see, I'm more middle management
for the company.Copy !req
517. The company? What company?Copy !req
518. Here.Copy !req
519. Take this. It'll explain everything.Copy !req
520. What do you want me to do with that?Copy !req
521. - I want you to suck it.
- You suck it!Copy !req
522. No, it's for you to suck.Copy !req
523. I'm not sucking that!Copy !req
524. - Suck it.
- I don't know where it's been!Copy !req
525. It's not where it's been.
It's where it will take you.Copy !req
526. Don't you wanna know...Copy !req
527. where babies really come from?Copy !req
528. Binky. Papish. Nuk-Nuk.Copy !req
529. Boo-Boo. Bo-Bo. Bah-Bah.Copy !req
530. Chupie. Hushie-Baby. Tootsie.Copy !req
531. It goes by many names.Copy !req
532. But through its power,
you will know the truth.Copy !req
533. Come on, faster!Copy !req
534. Mommy!Copy !req
535. Where are we?Copy !req
536. Welcome to Baby Corp!Copy !req
537. No way.Copy !req
538. - Thank you.
- What?Copy !req
539. Relax. They can't see us or hear us.Copy !req
540. - We're, like, virtual and stuff?
- Yep.Copy !req
541. - You mean they won't feel this?
- Nope.Copy !req
542. - Or this?
- Nada.Copy !req
543. Karate!Copy !req
544. Don't embarrass yourself, Templeton.
I can still see you.Copy !req
545. So this is where babies come from?Copy !req
546. Where'd you think, the cabbage patch?Copy !req
547. Magic fairies?Copy !req
548. No, my parents told me that...Copy !req
549. What?Copy !req
550. No. That's disgusting.Copy !req
551. Yeah, it didn't sound right to me, either.Copy !req
552. I can't believe
my parents didn't tell me about this.Copy !req
553. If people knew where babies really came from,
they'd never have one.Copy !req
554. Same thing with hot dogs, by the way.Copy !req
555. Going upsies!Copy !req
556. So how come I don't remember this place?Copy !req
557. You did.Copy !req
558. But after normal babies
get their pacifiers taken away...Copy !req
559. you forget all about Baby Corp.Copy !req
560. How come you're not normal?Copy !req
561. A few of us, the best of the best...Copy !req
562. are selected for the...Copy !req
563. For the ultimate honor.Copy !req
564. Upper management.Copy !req
565. This, Templeton, is where all the action is.Copy !req
566. Nap time in Sector G.Copy !req
567. So this whole place is run by babies?Copy !req
568. Yep.Copy !req
569. My Dad says, "Those who can, do."Copy !req
570. "And those who can't, supervise."Copy !req
571. Your father is a hippy.Copy !req
572. What happens when you grow up?Copy !req
573. We don't.Copy !req
574. We drink a super-secret baby formula
that keeps us babies forever.Copy !req
575. Back to work! Formula break is over!Copy !req
576. We're in a crisis here!Copy !req
577. Don't you know we're in a crisis here?Copy !req
578. Who is that?Copy !req
579. That is my boss. Big Boss Baby.Copy !req
580. What is she screaming about?Copy !req
581. Well, see this pie chart?Copy !req
582. Wow, it looks like a giant pie.Copy !req
583. It represents all the love there is
in the world.Copy !req
584. - I love pie.
- Who doesn't?Copy !req
585. - Apple.
- Fine.Copy !req
586. - No, cherry!
- Perfect!Copy !req
587. - Not pumpkin.
- Okay.Copy !req
588. That's a vegetable.Copy !req
589. Point is, the puppies' slice
is getting bigger and bigger.Copy !req
590. They're stealing all our love!Copy !req
591. Just like you did to me.Copy !req
592. Exactly.Copy !req
593. And if this keeps up...Copy !req
594. there might not be enough pie left
for babies.Copy !req
595. No pie?Copy !req
596. No pie.Copy !req
597. So, my mission is to find out
what this new puppy is.Copy !req
598. So you're, like, on a spy mission? Cool!Copy !req
599. Yes! Cool! And if... When I succeed...Copy !req
600. I'll become a Baby Corp legend.Copy !req
601. Like Super Big Boss Baby, Mega Boss Baby...Copy !req
602. Seriously Big Boss Baby...Copy !req
603. and him.Copy !req
604. Now that's a big, fat baby.Copy !req
605. No, that's Big Fat Boss Baby.Copy !req
606. This is Super Colossal Big Fat Boss Baby.Copy !req
607. He was the youngest Chief Executive Infant
in the history of the company.Copy !req
608. Was? What happened to him?Copy !req
609. Retired, years ago.Copy !req
610. But I still try and live up to his legend.Copy !req
611. In every situation, I ask myself...Copy !req
612. "W-W-S-C-B-F-B-B-D?Copy !req
613. "What Would Super Colossal
Big Fat Boss Baby Do?"Copy !req
614. So that's all you get?
Your picture on the wall?Copy !req
615. Come here!Copy !req
616. I'll get a promotion.Copy !req
617. The corner office...Copy !req
618. with my own private potty.Copy !req
619. Wow.Copy !req
620. So when you're done, you're coming back here?Copy !req
621. A-S-A-P, T-I-m.Copy !req
622. I'm not a family man. I belong behind a desk.Copy !req
623. - That's awesome!
- I know, right?Copy !req
624. - Pew pew.
- What?Copy !req
625. So help me,
I will nail his diaper to the wall!Copy !req
626. Have we heard anything
from that little Boss Baby...Copy !req
627. that we sent down to the Templetons?Copy !req
628. - I don't know.
- You're fired!Copy !req
629. Oh, no.Copy !req
630. You're all fired!Copy !req
631. The pet convention is in two days.Copy !req
632. If he doesn't come up with answers...Copy !req
633. he is fired, retired!Copy !req
634. - Gone!
- Tour's over.Copy !req
635. What was Big Bossy Baby Lady screaming about?Copy !req
636. She's demanding actual results.Copy !req
637. The pet convention is in two days,
and I've got nothing!Copy !req
638. That's her! Don't answer it!Copy !req
639. Stress nap!Copy !req
640. If I don't find out
what that new puppy is and fast...Copy !req
641. not only will I not get that promotion...Copy !req
642. I could get fired!Copy !req
643. Hey, relax.Copy !req
644. I'm sure there's other cool jobs
for babies, right?Copy !req
645. Meanwhile, two days goes by like that.Copy !req
646. You better start packing.Copy !req
647. What?Copy !req
648. You don't get it, Templeton.Copy !req
649. If I'm fired, they'll take away my formula.Copy !req
650. I will turn into a normal baby...Copy !req
651. and live here forever with you.Copy !req
652. - No!
- Yes!Copy !req
653. And I promise you this...Copy !req
654. Every morning you wake up...Copy !req
655. I'll be there.Copy !req
656. Every night, at dinner...Copy !req
657. I'll be there.Copy !req
658. Every birthday party...Copy !req
659. I'll be there.Copy !req
660. Every Christmas!Copy !req
661. I'll be thereCopy !req
662. Year after year after year.Copy !req
663. We will grow old together.Copy !req
664. You and I...Copy !req
665. will be brothers.Copy !req
666. Always.Copy !req
667. - No. No, this is terrible!
- I know.Copy !req
668. - This can't be happening.
- But it is!Copy !req
669. - You can't stay here!
- I can't!Copy !req
670. - Don't panic!
- But it feels right!Copy !req
671. I know, but we have to fix this.Copy !req
672. We have to make sure you don't get fired.Copy !req
673. We?Copy !req
674. We.Copy !req
675. I will help you...Copy !req
676. but just to get rid of you.Copy !req
677. Deal?Copy !req
678. Deal.Copy !req
679. Here's to never seeing you again.Copy !req
680. Back at ya, baby.Copy !req
681. Now let's get to work.Copy !req
682. Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
683. Slice!Copy !req
684. No, no.Copy !req
685. There's nothing here about a new puppy.Copy !req
686. Aren't you gonna do any work?Copy !req
687. I'm very busy delegating.Copy !req
688. He drains it!Copy !req
689. So once we find the file on the new puppy...Copy !req
690. what do we do then?Copy !req
691. Send in the baby ninjas?Copy !req
692. Even better.Copy !req
693. I'm going to write the perfect memo.Copy !req
694. - Boom!
- Boom!Copy !req
695. Wait. What's a memo?Copy !req
696. A memo is something you write
to give people information.Copy !req
697. That's your plan?
You're gonna write a book report?Copy !req
698. That's so boring.Copy !req
699. No, Templeton.Copy !req
700. Memos are for important things.Copy !req
701. A memo can bring people together.Copy !req
702. A memo can be a call to arms...Copy !req
703. a manifesto, a poem.Copy !req
704. A memo can change the world.Copy !req
705. Wow! When you explain it like that...Copy !req
706. it still sounds boring.Copy !req
707. You'll learn, kid.Copy !req
708. You'll learn.Copy !req
709. Wait a second. This is it!Copy !req
710. What? What is it?Copy !req
711. Check this out. Take Your Kid to Work Day.Copy !req
712. People take children
to a place of business? Why?Copy !req
713. Because it's awesome!Copy !req
714. It's disgusting.Copy !req
715. Don't you see? We can get inside Puppy Co...Copy !req
716. and find out what the new puppy is!Copy !req
717. What's the point?Copy !req
718. You're grounded.Copy !req
719. Your parents aren't
going to take us anywhere.Copy !req
720. You're right. They think we hate each other.Copy !req
721. Hate is a strong word.Copy !req
722. It's the right word, but still.Copy !req
723. We have to convince them
that we're actual brothers.Copy !req
724. Right.Copy !req
725. That we...Copy !req
726. Loathe?Copy !req
727. No.Copy !req
728. Like!Copy !req
729. No. That we...Copy !req
730. La, la, la...Copy !req
731. Le, Le, Le...Copy !req
732. No.Copy !req
733. No way. No. You don't mean...Copy !req
734. Love each other.Copy !req
735. I just threw up a noodle and swallowed it.Copy !req
736. - Here comes the choo-choo train!
- No.Copy !req
737. - Choo, choo, chugga, chugga.
- No choo-choo!Copy !req
738. Hold the train! No!
It looks like it's already been eaten!Copy !req
739. Who's there? I got a racket!Copy !req
740. What's going on in here?Copy !req
741. I'm just feeding the baby.Copy !req
742. They're watching.Copy !req
743. Choo-choo.Copy !req
744. Okay.Copy !req
745. Choo-choo on that.Copy !req
746. I don't wear nautical. It's not even Friday!Copy !req
747. Come on, you're putting this thing on!Copy !req
748. You gonna make me? You can't make me, punk.Copy !req
749. - What have you done to me?
- Stop!Copy !req
750. - Get back here!
- No!Copy !req
751. No way.Copy !req
752. Come on!Copy !req
753. Tim, what are you doing in here?Copy !req
754. Oh, no.Copy !req
755. Hey, what's all the racket?Copy !req
756. Isn't he adorable?Copy !req
757. I've got one for you, too! Ahoy, matey!Copy !req
758. What?Copy !req
759. Bummer.Copy !req
760. Smile!Copy !req
761. Smile for the camera.Copy !req
762. It makes me feel weak.Copy !req
763. - Who's ticklish?
- It doesn't work on me.Copy !req
764. - Here?
- I'm dead down there.Copy !req
765. Come on, everyone has a tickle spot.Copy !req
766. "'I don't think I'll fit,' said Gretel."Copy !req
767. Come here, look at this.Copy !req
768. "'I could get in myself.'Copy !req
769. "And then, Hansel and Gretel...Copy !req
770. "pushed the wicked old woman into the oven.Copy !req
771. "And the godless witch
was miserably burnt to death."Copy !req
772. Let me get this straight.Copy !req
773. The story is about cannibalism
and burning people alive.Copy !req
774. Yeah.Copy !req
775. No wonder kids are so messed up!Copy !req
776. Getting along is exhausting.Copy !req
777. Back at ya, Tim.Copy !req
778. You should have seen your face
in that picture.Copy !req
779. You were all...Copy !req
780. I'm not used to being tickled.Copy !req
781. Once at a corporate retreat.
But those things always get weird.Copy !req
782. What? You've never been tickled?
What about your parents?Copy !req
783. I'm sorry. I forgot.Copy !req
784. You didn't have parents, did you?Copy !req
785. Tim, I may look like a baby...Copy !req
786. but I was born all grown up.Copy !req
787. I can't even imagine not being a kid.Copy !req
788. You missed out on your whole childhood?Copy !req
789. You never had someone to love you?Copy !req
790. You can't miss what you never had.Copy !req
791. Wake up, little halflings!Copy !req
792. Hey, Tim. Wake up, buddy.Copy !req
793. - What?
- Rise and shine!Copy !req
794. Is something wrong? Am I fired?Copy !req
795. No, you're late for work.Copy !req
796. What?Copy !req
797. It's Take Your Kid to Work Day!
And you're the kid.Copy !req
798. You're officially un-grounded.Copy !req
799. - Really?
- Really.Copy !req
800. Can the baby come, too?Copy !req
801. I don't see why not.Copy !req
802. Yes! Yes, yes, yes!Copy !req
803. Yeah!Copy !req
804. I wish I was that excited for work.Copy !req
805. Look, it's my spatula.Copy !req
806. Yeah, baby.Copy !req
807. All right, gentlemen. Welcome to Puppy Co.Copy !req
808. Wow! This is awesome!Copy !req
809. And Tim, look!Copy !req
810. They have a puppy pool and everything!Copy !req
811. Isn't that sanitary?Copy !req
812. Hey, bud, you wanna get a picture
with Puppy Co Pete?Copy !req
813. No, thanks.
It's probably too scary for the baby.Copy !req
814. Nice call.Copy !req
815. Your dad and I have some work to do.Copy !req
816. You wanna come up to the office
and hang out with us?Copy !req
817. We'll stick your brother in the Puppy Zone...Copy !req
818. while we have a little Tim time.Copy !req
819. Tim time?Copy !req
820. Dad and I know we haven't been able
to do as much with you as we used to.Copy !req
821. So, what do you say?Copy !req
822. No, thanks.Copy !req
823. I'd rather spend time with the baby.Copy !req
824. - So cute.
- That's so sweet.Copy !req
825. Way to keep your eyes on the prize,
Templeton.Copy !req
826. We find out what the new puppy is,
and I go home.Copy !req
827. You guys stay in the Puppy Zone, okay?Copy !req
828. Okay, bye!Copy !req
829. That's where we'll find
the secret file on the new puppy.Copy !req
830. We'll never get through that door.Copy !req
831. No, not that door.Copy !req
832. The doggy door.Copy !req
833. But how do we get past the guard?Copy !req
834. No, no, no. No way.Copy !req
835. No!Copy !req
836. Itchy, plushy, puppy pants!Copy !req
837. What a cute, little pup...Copy !req
838. Ow!Copy !req
839. Yay!Copy !req
840. Kids.Copy !req
841. Get down.Copy !req
842. All the way down.Copy !req
843. I've never been so humiliated in all my life.Copy !req
844. Arf!Copy !req
845. Hey!Copy !req
846. Fetch!Copy !req
847. What am I doing?Copy !req
848. Oh, no!Copy !req
849. Yes!Copy !req
850. What a good boy.Copy !req
851. No. No biting.Copy !req
852. Timothy Templeton, office ninja.Copy !req
853. - Over here.
- What is it?Copy !req
854. It's gotta be in here.Copy !req
855. It's begging us to go in.Copy !req
856. Wow.Copy !req
857. That's a lot of paperwork.Copy !req
858. I thought puppies shredded everything.Copy !req
859. This is getting creepy.Copy !req
860. I've come for your soul.Copy !req
861. Cut it out!Copy !req
862. Wait!Copy !req
863. That's it!Copy !req
864. The file!Copy !req
865. See! I was right.Copy !req
866. No. I've seen this before somewhere.Copy !req
867. We've gotta find something
to replace it with.Copy !req
868. You're right. Like another file.Copy !req
869. Yes! A file with the same weight.Copy !req
870. So it can be placed
in the exact same position.Copy !req
871. - With the exact same weight.
- You already said that.Copy !req
872. I know I said it. Hey, you hit me twice.Copy !req
873. Make it a third time. Wait!Copy !req
874. I think I've seen one here.Copy !req
875. Smead manila, pressboard edges.Copy !req
876. About 50 ounces. No, 49.Copy !req
877. Try this one.Copy !req
878. Wait!Copy !req
879. Now it's perfect.Copy !req
880. Yes!Copy !req
881. I feel like we should run.Copy !req
882. I know, but it's just so mesmerizing.Copy !req
883. I kind of wanna see how it ends.Copy !req
884. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
885. Well, that didn't end well.Copy !req
886. What?Copy !req
887. What the...?Copy !req
888. Thanks for dropping in, kids.Copy !req
889. Francis Francis?Copy !req
890. I see you've met my big brother, Eugene.Copy !req
891. A man of few words.Copy !req
892. None, in fact.Copy !req
893. Can you put your head back on, please?Copy !req
894. What is all this?Copy !req
895. Surprise!Copy !req
896. A Baby Corp binky? Where did you get that?Copy !req
897. You don't recognize me?Copy !req
898. Perhaps from my youth!Copy !req
899. Super Colossal Big Fat Boss Baby?Copy !req
900. He is him? And him is you?Copy !req
901. Except older and wrinklier.Copy !req
902. That's not right.Copy !req
903. No. You were my hero!Copy !req
904. How did you end up here?Copy !req
905. You know what I do to little kids
who ask lots of questions about me?Copy !req
906. Eugene!Copy !req
907. I read them my story.Copy !req
908. And, I baked cookies!Copy !req
909. Eugene, my chair.Copy !req
910. Now, it all started at Baby Corp...Copy !req
911. a long, long time ago.Copy !req
912. I was a hotshot executive...Copy !req
913. headed straight to the top.Copy !req
914. Everyone loved me.Copy !req
915. They gave me a promotion,
the corner office...Copy !req
916. my very own...Copy !req
917. Personal potty?Copy !req
918. I had it all.Copy !req
919. But then one day...Copy !req
920. I made a terrible discovery.Copy !req
921. I was getting old.Copy !req
922. The formula wasn't working anymore.Copy !req
923. It turns out I was lactose intolerant.Copy !req
924. - No!
- Yes!Copy !req
925. I got called in
to see the board of directors.Copy !req
926. Who are the boring directors?Copy !req
927. The biggest baby bosses of them all.Copy !req
928. I thought they loved me.Copy !req
929. But they replaced me with someone new.Copy !req
930. Someone younger.Copy !req
931. That's horrible.Copy !req
932. All of a sudden, she got all the love...Copy !req
933. all the attention.Copy !req
934. You know how that feels, don't you, Tim?Copy !req
935. It hurts, doesn't it?Copy !req
936. Yeah. It does.Copy !req
937. And then what happened?Copy !req
938. Well...Copy !req
939. They fired me!Copy !req
940. And took away my special formula.Copy !req
941. Then they sent me down to live with a...Copy !req
942. - family!
- Oh, Francis, no!Copy !req
943. Baby Corp betrayed me!Copy !req
944. And I'm finally going to get revenge...Copy !req
945. with the Forever Puppy.Copy !req
946. - Huh?
- That's it?Copy !req
947. No, no.Copy !req
948. Imagine a puppy that never grows up.Copy !req
949. A puppy that stays a puppy forever.Copy !req
950. Once I launch my Forever Puppies
to every corner of the world...Copy !req
951. they'll be so adorable...Copy !req
952. How cute!Copy !req
953. no one will ever want a baby
ever, ever again.Copy !req
954. The end of Baby Corp!Copy !req
955. Please.Copy !req
956. A puppy that never grows up?
That's impossible!Copy !req
957. Isn't it?Copy !req
958. It was, until you brought me
the key ingredient.Copy !req
959. My secret formula.Copy !req
960. It's mine! It's mine!Copy !req
961. It's all mine.Copy !req
962. No!Copy !req
963. You brought me the very thing I needed
to destroy Baby Corp.Copy !req
964. - No!
- Yes!Copy !req
965. You walked right into my trap!Copy !req
966. - You'll never get away with this!
- Yeah, not if we...Copy !req
967. What? Tell?Copy !req
968. Who are you gonna tell, Tim? Your parents?Copy !req
969. Where are the boys?Copy !req
970. I told them to stay in the Puppy Zone.Copy !req
971. I'm taking them both with me to Las Vegas.Copy !req
972. So stay out of my way.Copy !req
973. I'd hate for them to get terminated.Copy !req
974. They'd never leave us alone.Copy !req
975. Oh, really?Copy !req
976. Wait until they meet Puppy Co's certified...Copy !req
977. in-house childcare expert.Copy !req
978. Oh, no.Copy !req
979. - Don't be nervous, buddy.
- It's only overnight.Copy !req
980. We'll be back before you know it.Copy !req
981. Besides, you boys are in great hands.Copy !req
982. That's right!Copy !req
983. Eugenia is practically perfect in every way.Copy !req
984. No.Copy !req
985. Please don't go with him.
Francis Francis is trying to...Copy !req
986. Believe me...Copy !req
987. Eugenia won't take her eyes
off your children.Copy !req
988. Not for one second.Copy !req
989. That's very reassuring.Copy !req
990. Now you see them.Copy !req
991. And now, you don't.Copy !req
992. Too-da-loo!Copy !req
993. To the airport!Copy !req
994. It's over. I'm through.Copy !req
995. What do we do, Templeton?Copy !req
996. What do we do?Copy !req
997. We have to get to the airport
and stop Francis Francis...Copy !req
998. before the plane takes off!Copy !req
999. Yes! But how do we get past
Scary Poppins down there?Copy !req
1000. Okay. There must be something we can do.Copy !req
1001. Hey, it's not that bad.Copy !req
1002. Are you okay?Copy !req
1003. What's the matter with you?Copy !req
1004. Don't look at me!Copy !req
1005. Oh, no!Copy !req
1006. Without that formula,
I turn into a normal baby.Copy !req
1007. You know, goo-goo, Ga-ga. The whole bit!Copy !req
1008. Oh, no!Copy !req
1009. Gross!Copy !req
1010. I'm a ticking baby time bomb!Copy !req
1011. I'm going to turn into a puking,
pooping, helpless baby!Copy !req
1012. Wait a second. That gives me an idea.Copy !req
1013. What? What is it?Copy !req
1014. I've been through a lot of babysitters...Copy !req
1015. and they all fear one thing.Copy !req
1016. Now, ladies,
the secret to deep fried butter...Copy !req
1017. is a healthy dab of margarine.Copy !req
1018. Hey, Mr. Lady Man!Copy !req
1019. The baby. I think he's sick!Copy !req
1020. You gotta do something!Copy !req
1021. Oh, the horror!Copy !req
1022. - Templeton!
- Delicious!Copy !req
1023. Gross! It got in your mouth!Copy !req
1024. It got in my mouth, too!Copy !req
1025. I think I'm gonna be sick!Copy !req
1026. Swirly!Copy !req
1027. There's only an hour
before the plane takes off.Copy !req
1028. Let's take the bike.Copy !req
1029. The bike?Copy !req
1030. I don't know.Copy !req
1031. Let's move!Copy !req
1032. - Okay, but wait right here!
- What?Copy !req
1033. Where are you going? Templeton!Copy !req
1034. Always wear a helmet.Copy !req
1035. Too-da-loo, toilet head!Copy !req
1036. You'll never catch us!Copy !req
1037. Staci!Copy !req
1038. Staci, come in!Copy !req
1039. Oh, Staci!Copy !req
1040. - Is that you, boss?
- Code red!Copy !req
1041. I'm being chased by a killer babysitter!
Gather the team!Copy !req
1042. On it, boss.Copy !req
1043. - Hello!
- Hello!Copy !req
1044. - Hello!
- Code red.Copy !req
1045. Got it!Copy !req
1046. We got a code red. Repeat...Copy !req
1047. We got a code red!Copy !req
1048. What are you doing, Templeton? Go, go!Copy !req
1049. But that's jaywalking!Copy !req
1050. Here, I'll pay your ticket.Copy !req
1051. Go!Copy !req
1052. I think we lost him!Copy !req
1053. Oh, no, we didn't!Copy !req
1054. Flower power!Copy !req
1055. Pow, pow, pow!Copy !req
1056. That's my boy!Copy !req
1057. Poppy!Copy !req
1058. Run, run, run.Copy !req
1059. Uh-oh.Copy !req
1060. Run, run, run.Copy !req
1061. Tim, you've gotta go faster!Copy !req
1062. I can't do it!Copy !req
1063. You can.Copy !req
1064. You've got it in you, Templeton.
Now, eyes ahead.Copy !req
1065. I said eyes ahead, son!Copy !req
1066. Buttocks up! Now pedal like you mean it!Copy !req
1067. Either you run the day, or the day runs you.Copy !req
1068. Good!Copy !req
1069. Uh-oh!Copy !req
1070. My training wheels!
I can't ride without training wheels!Copy !req
1071. Whether you think you can
or you think you can't, you're right!Copy !req
1072. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1073. The path to success
is not a straight line, Templeton...Copy !req
1074. but rather a wild ride...Copy !req
1075. like a ship at sea.Copy !req
1076. And you're a sea captain...Copy !req
1077. taming a turbulent ocean!Copy !req
1078. I'm a sea captain, taming the ocean!Copy !req
1079. Good!Copy !req
1080. Tree! I'm gonna hit it!Copy !req
1081. Aim for failure, and you'll always succeed.Copy !req
1082. - What?
- Aim away from failure!Copy !req
1083. I'm doing it. I'm doing it!Copy !req
1084. Once success is a habit...Copy !req
1085. then it's all downhill.Copy !req
1086. Look!Copy !req
1087. There they are! Mom, Dad!Copy !req
1088. - Train!
- Choo-choo!Copy !req
1089. Stop!Copy !req
1090. What are you doing?Copy !req
1091. - We're gonna make it.
- But I don't have a quote for this!Copy !req
1092. You did it!Copy !req
1093. No! We did it.Copy !req
1094. And all without your training wheels.Copy !req
1095. Coming through!Copy !req
1096. Baby on board!Copy !req
1097. Hang on to your diaper!Copy !req
1098. Duck and cover!Copy !req
1099. Hold it, buddy!Copy !req
1100. I'm gonna need a strip search on two.Copy !req
1101. There they are! Mom, Dad!Copy !req
1102. Hey, not so fast!Copy !req
1103. Oh, no.Copy !req
1104. Templeton!Copy !req
1105. - Hey!
- Sorry!Copy !req
1106. Hey, where'd you go?Copy !req
1107. Oh, no!Copy !req
1108. Not again!Copy !req
1109. Not now!Copy !req
1110. What the...?Copy !req
1111. No, no, no!Copy !req
1112. Come on!Copy !req
1113. I think I ate $1.75.Copy !req
1114. Excuse me, coming through! Mom, Dad!Copy !req
1115. Hurry now! Move!Copy !req
1116. We don't wanna miss our flight!Copy !req
1117. - No!
- I warned you!Copy !req
1118. Wait!Copy !req
1119. - No!
- No.Copy !req
1120. Mom, Dad! Stop!Copy !req
1121. No!Copy !req
1122. No, no, no.Copy !req
1123. They're gone.Copy !req
1124. I failed.Copy !req
1125. I would've gotten to my parents
if I didn't have to go back for you!Copy !req
1126. What? We would have been here
in plenty of time...Copy !req
1127. if you knew how to ride a bike
like a normal kid!Copy !req
1128. We're never going to stop the launch on time.Copy !req
1129. Who cares? My parents are in danger.Copy !req
1130. I care! Baby Corp is going to go
out of business.Copy !req
1131. That's all you ever talk about.Copy !req
1132. You don't even know what it's like
to be part of a family.Copy !req
1133. And you don't know what it's like
to have a job!Copy !req
1134. You don't know anything about hugs,
or bedtime stories, or special songs!Copy !req
1135. Oh, please! Stop acting like a baby.Copy !req
1136. You're a baby!Copy !req
1137. You take that back.Copy !req
1138. My life was perfect until you showed up!Copy !req
1139. Believe me, kid, the feeling is mutual.
I wish I'd never met you!Copy !req
1140. I wish you'd never been born!Copy !req
1141. Where are you going?Copy !req
1142. Fine!Copy !req
1143. Blackbird singing in the dead of nightCopy !req
1144. Take these broken wings and learn to flyCopy !req
1145. All your lifeCopy !req
1146. You were only waiting
For this moment to ariseCopy !req
1147. Would Timothy Templeton please pick up
the white courtesy phone?Copy !req
1148. Timothy Leslie Templeton,
please pick up the white courtesy phone.Copy !req
1149. Leslie.Copy !req
1150. Hello?Copy !req
1151. It's me. Don't hang up, Tim!Copy !req
1152. Tim, I wasn't born. I was hired.Copy !req
1153. What do you mean?Copy !req
1154. Baby Corp is the only home I've ever known.Copy !req
1155. So you're right.
I don't know what it's like...Copy !req
1156. to be part of a family.Copy !req
1157. But I do care.Copy !req
1158. You do?Copy !req
1159. Yeah.Copy !req
1160. And the only way to save both
is to stop Francis Francis.Copy !req
1161. Yeah.Copy !req
1162. I can't do this without you, Tim.Copy !req
1163. I need you.Copy !req
1164. - I guess we do make a pretty good team.
- No.Copy !req
1165. Literally, I can't reach the door knobs.Copy !req
1166. Oh, right.Copy !req
1167. Don't worry, Tim.Copy !req
1168. We're gonna save your parents.Copy !req
1169. And your company.Copy !req
1170. But how do we get to Vegas now?Copy !req
1171. We're gonna need a miracle.Copy !req
1172. Follow that Elvis!Copy !req
1173. Why?Copy !req
1174. Where there's Elvis, there's Vegas!Copy !req
1175. There's another one!Copy !req
1176. And another one!Copy !req
1177. Elvises everywhere!Copy !req
1178. Tim, there's our flight!Copy !req
1179. And there goes our ticket!Copy !req
1180. Hey! Don't be cruel!Copy !req
1181. Sorry!Copy !req
1182. - Well, thank you!
- Oh, baby!Copy !req
1183. Well, thank you very much.Copy !req
1184. Hello.Copy !req
1185. Hi.Copy !req
1186. Ticket please.Copy !req
1187. One moment.Copy !req
1188. It's been stolen!Copy !req
1189. Impersonating an Elvis impersonator?Copy !req
1190. Get him!Copy !req
1191. Humina, humina, humina.Copy !req
1192. Stop!Copy !req
1193. The ghost of Elvis!Copy !req
1194. We gotta find seats!Copy !req
1195. Come on, this way!Copy !req
1196. What is this place?Copy !req
1197. This, Templeton, is first class.Copy !req
1198. Why is it empty?Copy !req
1199. No one can afford it.Copy !req
1200. That's what makes it so wonderful.Copy !req
1201. Hello! This is Captain Ross.Copy !req
1202. Ladies and gentlemen, and those in coach...Copy !req
1203. please fasten your seat belts.
We're about to take off.Copy !req
1204. What's the matter, Templeton?Copy !req
1205. My parents always hold my hand
during takeoff.Copy !req
1206. Boy, the stocks are crazy today.Copy !req
1207. Ladies and gentlemen, Captain Ross again.Copy !req
1208. As you can see,
I've switched off the seat belt sign.Copy !req
1209. What are you two boys doing up here?Copy !req
1210. We're Captain Ross's kids.Copy !req
1211. He told us to sit here.Copy !req
1212. Well, can I get you special guys anything?Copy !req
1213. Anything?Copy !req
1214. Anything.Copy !req
1215. Aye! All right, Francis Francis.Copy !req
1216. This will teach you
to kidnap the parents of One-Eyed Tim.Copy !req
1217. Oh, please. If only it were that easy.Copy !req
1218. What's your plan?Copy !req
1219. You're not gonna write a memo, are you?Copy !req
1220. No.Copy !req
1221. Come on. You said you never really
had a childhood, right?Copy !req
1222. Why don't you give it a try?Copy !req
1223. - No, I can't.
- It's fun!Copy !req
1224. Here, let's get you into character.Copy !req
1225. I don't know. I feel silly!Copy !req
1226. Go on! Say something mean to him.Copy !req
1227. All right, all right, all right.Copy !req
1228. So, you went to a community college, is it?Copy !req
1229. I don't know.Copy !req
1230. Keep going!Copy !req
1231. And you have the guts
to ask me for a bonus, now?Copy !req
1232. See!Copy !req
1233. Now you're getting into it.Copy !req
1234. Huh?Copy !req
1235. Well, blow me down.Copy !req
1236. Your exit interview is over!Copy !req
1237. That was pretty good.Copy !req
1238. Who was that guy anyway?Copy !req
1239. - The captain!
- What?Copy !req
1240. En garde!Copy !req
1241. Heave!Copy !req
1242. Ho!Copy !req
1243. Thar she blows!Copy !req
1244. Watch your stern!Copy !req
1245. - Aye!
- Dodge, parry, and thrust!Copy !req
1246. Sounds like a heck of a law firm!Copy !req
1247. Nice try! Heads up!Copy !req
1248. You're fired!Copy !req
1249. And here's your severance package. Ha!Copy !req
1250. Wait. You're not supposed to end with "Ha!"Copy !req
1251. You're not?Copy !req
1252. You're supposed to end with "Argh!"Copy !req
1253. Got it! Argh!Copy !req
1254. That's great!Copy !req
1255. Thanks! I just went with the flow.Copy !req
1256. Ladies and gentlemen, and those in coach...Copy !req
1257. on the left side of the plane...Copy !req
1258. you can see we're approaching
fabulous Las Vegas.Copy !req
1259. Land ho!Copy !req
1260. Ahoy, matey.Copy !req
1261. Bye, Dad! Thanks for the lift!Copy !req
1262. - Okay. What?
- Let's move.Copy !req
1263. - Going to the Heartbreak Hotel?
- I'm going to the Heartbreak Hotel.Copy !req
1264. - Me, too!
- Me, too!Copy !req
1265. Me, too!Copy !req
1266. We've gotta get to the convention center.Copy !req
1267. Should we get a taxi?Copy !req
1268. Darn! I spent all my per Diem.
That's more our speed.Copy !req
1269. Right.Copy !req
1270. Excuse me, ladies.Copy !req
1271. Can we get a ride home?Copy !req
1272. Jimmy's been sick,
and he needs his expensive medicine.Copy !req
1273. Where do you live, sweetie?Copy !req
1274. The convention center.Copy !req
1275. Bye, sweetie!Copy !req
1276. Have a fun lady party!Copy !req
1277. Chicks dig babies.Copy !req
1278. The people of Long Island do not know
how to make an iced tea.Copy !req
1279. Oh, no! How are we gonna find my parents
in here?Copy !req
1280. Tim!Copy !req
1281. Over there.Copy !req
1282. Okay, now where's Puppy Co?Copy !req
1283. Puppy Co, Puppy Co, Puppy Co...Copy !req
1284. Aha! Here it is. Found it!Copy !req
1285. But how did you...?Copy !req
1286. Hey! Where'd you go?Copy !req
1287. Not again!Copy !req
1288. Come on! I need you!Copy !req
1289. I'm back! I'm back.Copy !req
1290. What's going on?Copy !req
1291. That's right.Copy !req
1292. We're gonna launch a brand new puppy
in every continent.Copy !req
1293. In every country!Copy !req
1294. We're going to take over the world,
one heart at a time.Copy !req
1295. - Tim, there they are!
- Mom, Dad!Copy !req
1296. Imagine a puppy that never grows up...Copy !req
1297. never gets old.Copy !req
1298. A puppy that stays a puppy forever.Copy !req
1299. I give you the only thing you'll ever love...Copy !req
1300. the Forever Puppy!Copy !req
1301. Mommy?Copy !req
1302. Avert your eyes, Templeton!Copy !req
1303. Hey! What are you doing here?Copy !req
1304. Mom, Dad!Copy !req
1305. What are they doing here?Copy !req
1306. What are Tim and the baby doing here?Copy !req
1307. What are any of us doing here, really?Copy !req
1308. What is going on here?Copy !req
1309. He's got my parents!Copy !req
1310. We're really here to get them.Copy !req
1311. Get them!Copy !req
1312. Get the Forever Puppy!Copy !req
1313. We've got to get backstage.Copy !req
1314. In there!Copy !req
1315. Run!Copy !req
1316. Go, go, go!Copy !req
1317. Left, right! Left, right! Left, right!Copy !req
1318. Yes!Copy !req
1319. Fart. Poop. Doodie.Copy !req
1320. Look at all that formula.Copy !req
1321. Now that's how you launch a product.Copy !req
1322. Oh, no!Copy !req
1323. He's putting them under the rocket!Copy !req
1324. Elvis has left the building!Copy !req
1325. Mom, Dad...Copy !req
1326. I'm coming!Copy !req
1327. Atta boy! Go, Tim! Go, go!Copy !req
1328. Launch initiated.Copy !req
1329. I'm launching my Forever Puppies,
and there's nothing you can do about it!Copy !req
1330. No!Copy !req
1331. Baby Corp stole all the love from me...Copy !req
1332. and now I'm going to take it back from them.Copy !req
1333. You should understand what I'm talking about.Copy !req
1334. You got replaced just like me!Copy !req
1335. No! I'm nothing like you!Copy !req
1336. Bratty kid!Copy !req
1337. Let our parents go! His parents. The parents.Copy !req
1338. Yeah!Copy !req
1339. You could have had your parents' love
all to yourself again!Copy !req
1340. But no!Copy !req
1341. You blew it!Copy !req
1342. You let that baby boss you around.Copy !req
1343. He doesn't work for me.Copy !req
1344. We're partners!Copy !req
1345. I'm not ticklish.Copy !req
1346. Hey! Where's the baby?Copy !req
1347. Everyone has a tickle spot!Copy !req
1348. My ears!Copy !req
1349. Stop it!Copy !req
1350. Little brats!Copy !req
1351. Nothing is going to get in the way
of my vengeance.Copy !req
1352. Not you, not anybody!Copy !req
1353. Baby Corp is through.Copy !req
1354. I win! Ha!Copy !req
1355. Wrong!Copy !req
1356. You're not supposed to end with "Ha!"Copy !req
1357. - That's right!
- What?Copy !req
1358. You're supposed to end with...Copy !req
1359. Argh!Copy !req
1360. En garde!Copy !req
1361. You're fired!Copy !req
1362. And here's your severance package!Copy !req
1363. Take that, you scurvy scallywag!Copy !req
1364. Argh!Copy !req
1365. One minute and counting.Copy !req
1366. - Help!
- Anybody!Copy !req
1367. Tim! What are you doing?Copy !req
1368. No!Copy !req
1369. Mom, Dad, I'm coming!Copy !req
1370. Is that you?Copy !req
1371. Don't worry, Mom and Dad. I got this!Copy !req
1372. - Are you okay?
- Is the baby all right?Copy !req
1373. Yes, the baby's fine.Copy !req
1374. Who was that?Copy !req
1375. That was me!Copy !req
1376. The baby's fine.Copy !req
1377. It won't budge!Copy !req
1378. What's happening?Copy !req
1379. Wait a second!Copy !req
1380. Hey.Copy !req
1381. I know a way to move my parents.Copy !req
1382. - How?
- We can use the puppies!Copy !req
1383. Upsies.Copy !req
1384. I need upsies.Copy !req
1385. But what if you "go baby" again?Copy !req
1386. It'll be fine. Fine, fine.Copy !req
1387. Fine!Copy !req
1388. It'll be fine.Copy !req
1389. Hang on to your diaper!Copy !req
1390. We're moving!Copy !req
1391. Why are we moving?Copy !req
1392. All right, Mom and Dad, hang on!Copy !req
1393. T-minus 30 seconds.Copy !req
1394. Oh, no! Wait!Copy !req
1395. Hold on!Copy !req
1396. Go, Tim! Get your parents...Copy !req
1397. out of here.Copy !req
1398. You've gotta jump!Copy !req
1399. Come on, it's a piece of cake!Copy !req
1400. No! No patty cake! Get down!Copy !req
1401. Don't cry. I'm sorry. Please don't cry!Copy !req
1402. 20 seconds.Copy !req
1403. 15 seconds.Copy !req
1404. Blackbird singing in the dead of nightCopy !req
1405. Take these broken wings and learn to flyCopy !req
1406. All your lifeCopy !req
1407. You were only waiting
For this moment to ariseCopy !req
1408. - Three...
- Gotcha!Copy !req
1409. two, one.Copy !req
1410. Blast off!Copy !req
1411. Yeah!Copy !req
1412. Hey, are you still in there?Copy !req
1413. Aha!Copy !req
1414. What happened? Did we win?Copy !req
1415. - We won!
- We won?Copy !req
1416. - We won, we won, we won!
- We won! Yes!Copy !req
1417. Victory nap!Copy !req
1418. You ruined everything!Copy !req
1419. It's not fair! It's not fair!Copy !req
1420. That's not right.Copy !req
1421. Now you're really going to pay!Copy !req
1422. Oh, yeah? It's time you pick on someone
your own size!Copy !req
1423. What?Copy !req
1424. Eugene! You put me down!Copy !req
1425. You hear me? I am the boss of you!Copy !req
1426. This time, we'll raise him right.Copy !req
1427. I'm sure that's gonna turn out fine.Copy !req
1428. Tim, what's happening?Copy !req
1429. Mom, Dad, hold on!Copy !req
1430. Yes!Copy !req
1431. - Tim?
- Tim!Copy !req
1432. Tim! Are you okay?Copy !req
1433. I'm fine. We're fine.Copy !req
1434. You saved us.Copy !req
1435. You're our hero.Copy !req
1436. And a great big brother.Copy !req
1437. We love you both so much.Copy !req
1438. Both of us?Copy !req
1439. With all our heart.Copy !req
1440. Let's go home.Copy !req
1441. How do I look?Copy !req
1442. You look great.Copy !req
1443. Well, team, good job.Copy !req
1444. Staci, this letter should get you
into the school of your choice.Copy !req
1445. - Kindergarten?
- That's right.Copy !req
1446. And if there's anything else...Copy !req
1447. How about a raise?Copy !req
1448. Staci, you don't get paid.Copy !req
1449. - One million ziggity-five!
- Eight!Copy !req
1450. - A tricycle!
- Skates!Copy !req
1451. - Candy corn?
- Lollipop!Copy !req
1452. Deal.Copy !req
1453. Best boss ever.Copy !req
1454. And you guys don't always have to
toe the company line, you know?Copy !req
1455. It's okay to think for yourself.Copy !req
1456. - No, sir!
- No way!Copy !req
1457. That's a terrible idea!Copy !req
1458. That's the attitude.Copy !req
1459. - You're so right!
- You've got it, sir!Copy !req
1460. - You're the man!
- Absolutely!Copy !req
1461. Here you go, big guy.Copy !req
1462. You've earned it.Copy !req
1463. You wanna hug me, don't you?Copy !req
1464. I'll miss you too, buddy. Okay.Copy !req
1465. - There, there.
- It'll be okay, big guy.Copy !req
1466. So...Copy !req
1467. you did it.Copy !req
1468. No. We did it.Copy !req
1469. By the way,
congratulations on your promotion.Copy !req
1470. The corner office, the private potty.
All that stuff.Copy !req
1471. But, hey! How about you?Copy !req
1472. You have your parents all to yourself.Copy !req
1473. So what am I gonna tell Mom and Dad
after you leave?Copy !req
1474. Don't worry.Copy !req
1475. Baby Corp has a procedure
for situations like this.Copy !req
1476. It'll be like I was never born.Copy !req
1477. I almost forgot!Copy !req
1478. No way! Lam-Lam!Copy !req
1479. - You fixed her.
- Yep.Copy !req
1480. She's as good as new. She's a tough one.Copy !req
1481. Well, I guess we both got what we wanted.Copy !req
1482. It's a win-win.Copy !req
1483. Probably should...Copy !req
1484. Yeah.Copy !req
1485. So, stay in school.Copy !req
1486. I don't really have a choice.Copy !req
1487. Yeah, right.Copy !req
1488. - Goodbye, Tim.
- Bye.Copy !req
1489. Yeah, right.Copy !req
1490. He left as suddenly as he arrived.Copy !req
1491. Bye.Copy !req
1492. Finally, my life was perfect again.Copy !req
1493. Forget about the baby.Copy !req
1494. Oopsies!Copy !req
1495. Pardon me, big fella.Copy !req
1496. Surprise!Copy !req
1497. Hooray!Copy !req
1498. Forget about the baby?Copy !req
1499. No, thanks. I'm good.Copy !req
1500. Okie-dokie.Copy !req
1501. Argh.Copy !req
1502. Dear Boss Baby...Copy !req
1503. I don't usually write very much...Copy !req
1504. but now I know
that memos are very important things.Copy !req
1505. Even though I never went
to business school...Copy !req
1506. I did learn to share in kindergarten.Copy !req
1507. And if there isn't enough love
for the two of us...Copy !req
1508. then I wanna give you all of mine.Copy !req
1509. I would like to offer you a job.Copy !req
1510. It will be hard work...Copy !req
1511. and there will be no pay.Copy !req
1512. But the good news is that
you can never be fired.Copy !req
1513. And I promise you this.Copy !req
1514. Every morning when you wake up,
I will be there.Copy !req
1515. Every night at dinner, I will be there.Copy !req
1516. Every birthday party,
every Christmas morning...Copy !req
1517. I will be there.Copy !req
1518. Year after year after year.Copy !req
1519. We will grow old together.Copy !req
1520. And you and I will always...Copy !req
1521. be brothers.Copy !req
1522. Always.Copy !req
1523. Wake up, little halflings! It's 7:00 a.m.Copy !req
1524. What's the point, Wizzie?Copy !req
1525. Because it's 7:00 a.m.Copy !req
1526. I have one job to do,
and you make it so difficult.Copy !req
1527. It's okay, little halfling.Copy !req
1528. Sometimes, I get confused too.Copy !req
1529. Especially during daylight savings time.Copy !req
1530. Spring forward, fall back.Copy !req
1531. We don't even have calendars
in the wizard's realm!Copy !req
1532. There is no spring, only darkness and winter!Copy !req
1533. I'm not confused at all, Wizzie.Copy !req
1534. I just miss him.Copy !req
1535. Tim, look who's here!Copy !req
1536. It's your new baby...Copy !req
1537. Brother!Copy !req
1538. You're here! You're really here!Copy !req
1539. Gentle, gentle.Copy !req
1540. You came back!Copy !req
1541. Say hello to Theodore Lindsey Templeton.Copy !req
1542. Lindsey?Copy !req
1543. Who's ticklish? Who's ticklish?Copy !req
1544. Here you go.Copy !req
1545. So, that's my story.Copy !req
1546. Our story.Copy !req
1547. Luckily for me and my little brother,
it had a happy ending.Copy !req
1548. Is that a true story, Daddy?Copy !req
1549. Well, sweetie, that's how I remember it.Copy !req
1550. - But you know what I found out?
- What?Copy !req
1551. There's plenty of love for everyone.Copy !req
1552. Even me?Copy !req
1553. Especially you.Copy !req
1554. Just ask your Uncle Ted.Copy !req
1555. Hey, kid, I hear you're gonna have
a baby sister.Copy !req
1556. I wanted a horse.Copy !req
1557. Here you go, kid. Go get yourself a horse.Copy !req
1558. You know, I'm proud of you, Leslie.Copy !req
1559. Back at ya, Lindsey.Copy !req
1560. Hi there, baby sister.Copy !req
1561. Argh!Copy !req
1562. All right, guys.Copy !req
1563. Time for bed.Copy !req
1564. Come on, Mom. Just a little longer.Copy !req
1565. Okay.Copy !req
1566. Wake up, little halflings!
It's time to leave.Copy !req
1567. Go and live your peasant lives.Copy !req
1568. Be gone with you!Copy !req