1. See them tumbling down
Copy !req
2. Pledging their love
to the ground
Copy !req
3. Way out West
there was this fella.
Copy !req
4. Fella I wanna tell you about.
Copy !req
5. Fella by the name
of Jeff Lebowski.
Copy !req
6. Least that was the handle that
his loving parents gave him.
Copy !req
7. But he never had
much use for it himself.
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8. This Lebowski,
he called himself the Dude.
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9. Now Dude,
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10. that's a name no one would
self-apply where I come from.
Copy !req
11. But then there was a lot about the Dude that
didn't make a whole lot of sense to me,
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12. and a lot about
where he lived likewise.
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13. Drifting along with
the tumbling tumbleweeds
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14. But then again,
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15. maybe that's why I found the
place so darned interesting.
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16. I know when night has gone
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17. That a new world's
born at dawn
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18. They call Los Angeles
the City of Angels.
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19. I didn't find it to be that,
exactly.
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20. But I'll allow there are
some nice folks there.
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21. Course, I can't say
I seen London,
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22. and I never been to France,
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23. and I ain't never seen no queen in her
damned undies, as the fella says.
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24. But I'll tell you what,
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25. after seeing Los Angeles and this
here story I'm about to unfold,
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26. well, I guess
I've seen something
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27. every bit as stupefying as you can
see in any of those other places,
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28. and in English, too.
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29. So I can die with
a smile on my face
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30. without feeling like
the good Lord gypped me.
Copy !req
31. Now, this here story
I'm about to unfold
Copy !req
32. took place back
in the early '90s,
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33. just about the time of our conflict
with Saddam and the Iraqis.
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34. I only mention it 'cause
sometimes there's a man...
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35. I won't say a hero.
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36. 'Cause what's a hero?
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37. But sometimes there's a man...
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38. And I'm talking about
the Dude here.
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39. Sometimes there's a man...
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40. Well, he's the man
for his time and place.
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41. He fits right in there.
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42. And that's the Dude
in Los Angeles.
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43. And even if he is a lazy man,
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44. and the Dude was
most certainly that,
Copy !req
45. quite possibly the laziest
in Los Angeles county,
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46. which would place him high in the
running for laziest worldwide.
Copy !req
47. But sometimes there's a man...
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48. Sometimes there's a man...
Copy !req
49. Well, I lost my train
of thought here.
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50. But...
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51. Hell, I done introduced him
enough.
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52. with them all
for a collective action.
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53. This will not stand.
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54. This will not stand, this
aggression against Kuwait.
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55. Here on the range I belong
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56. Drifting along
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57. With the tumbling
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58. Tumbleweeds
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59. Where's the money,
Lebowski?
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60. I want that money,
Lebowski.
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61. Bunny says you're
good for it.
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62. Where's the money,
Lebowski?
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63. Where's the fucking money,
shithead?
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64. It's down there somewhere.
Let me take another look.
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65. Don't fuck with us.
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66. Your wife owes money
to Jackie Treehorn,
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67. that means you owe money
to Jackie Treehorn.
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68. Ever thus to deadbeats,
Lebowski.
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69. No, don't do. ..
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70. - Not on the rug, man.
- See?
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71. See what happens, Lebowski?
You see what happens?
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72. Nobody calls me Lebowski.
You got the wrong guy.
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73. I'm the Dude, man.
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74. Your name's Lebowski,
Lebowski.
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75. Your wife is Bunny.
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76. My wife? Bunny?
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77. Do you see a wedding ring
on my finger?
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78. Does this place look like
I'm fucking married?
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79. The toilet seat's up, man!
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80. What the fuck is this?
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81. Obviously you're
not a golfer.
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82. Woo?
Yeah.
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83. Isn't this guy supposed
to be a millionaire?
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84. Fuck.
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85. Yeah. What do you think?
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86. He looks like
a fucking loser.
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87. Hey, at least I'm housebroken.
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88. Fucking time-waster.
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89. Thanks a lot,
asshole.
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90. La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
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91. La-la-la, la, la, la, la
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92. La-la-la, la, la, la-la la-la
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93. La, la, la-la
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94. La-la-la
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95. La-la-la, la-la-la
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96. La-la, la-la
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97. The man in me will do
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98. Nearly any task
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99. And as for compensation
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100. There's little he would ask
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101. Take a woman like you
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102. To get through
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103. To the man in me
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104. Storm clouds are raging
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105. All around my door
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106. I think to myself
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107. I might not take it anymore
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108. Take a woman like your kind
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109. To find the man in me
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110. But, oh
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111. What a wonderful feeling
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112. Just to know that you are near
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113. Sets my heart a-reeling
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114. From my toes
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115. Up to my ears
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116. The man in me will
hide sometimes
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117. To keep from being seen
Copy !req
118. But that's just because
he doesn't want
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119. To turn into some machine
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120. Take a woman like you
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121. To get through
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122. To the man in me
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123. I'm throwing rocks tonight.
Mark it, Dude.
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124. I'm telling you, this was a valued rug.
This was a. ..
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125. Yeah, man. It really
tied the room together.
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126. This was
a valued. ..
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127. What tied the room together, Dude?
My rug.
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128. Were you listening to the
Dude's story, Donny?
Copy !req
129. What?
Walter.
Copy !req
130. Were you listening to the Dude's story?
I was bowling.
Copy !req
131. So you have no frame of
reference here, Donny.
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132. You're like a child who wanders into the
middle of a movie and wants to know. ..
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133. Walter, what's the point, man?
There's no reason, here's my point, Dude.
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134. There's no fucking reason
why these two. ..
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135. Yeah, Walter,
what's your point?
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136. Walter, what is the. ..
Copy !req
137. Look, we all know
who is at fault here.
Copy !req
138. What the fuck are you
talking about? Huh?
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139. No, what the fuck
are you . . . I'm not. ..
Copy !req
140. We're talking about unchecked
aggression here, Dude.
Copy !req
141. What the fuck is he talking about?
My rug.
Copy !req
142. Forget it, Donny!
You're out of your element!
Copy !req
143. Walter, the Chinaman
who peed on my rug,
Copy !req
144. I can't go
give him a bill!
Copy !req
145. So what the fuck
are you talking about?
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146. What the fuck are
you talking about?
Copy !req
147. The Chinaman is not
the issue here, Dude!
Copy !req
148. I'm talking about drawing
a line in the sand, Dude.
Copy !req
149. Across this line
you do not. ..
Copy !req
150. Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not
the preferred nomenclature.
Copy !req
151. Asian-American,
please.
Copy !req
152. Walter, this isn't a guy who built the
railroads here. This is a guy. ..
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153. What the fuck
are you. ..
Copy !req
154. Walter, he peed on my rug!
He peed on the Dude's rug.
Copy !req
155. Donny, you're out
of your element.
Copy !req
156. Dude, the Chinaman
is not the issue here.
Copy !req
157. So, who. ..
Jeff Lebowski.
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158. The other Jeffrey Lebowski.
The millionaire.
Copy !req
159. That's fucking interesting, man.
That's fucking interesting.
Copy !req
160. Plus, he has the wealth,
obviously, and the resources,
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161. so that there's no reason,
there's no fucking reason
Copy !req
162. why his wife should go out
and owe money all over town,
Copy !req
163. and then they come and they
pee on your fucking rug!
Copy !req
164. Am I wrong?
No.
Copy !req
165. Am I wrong?
Yeah, but. ..
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166. Okay then.
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167. That rug really tied the
room together, did it not?
Copy !req
168. Fucking A.
And this guy peed on it.
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169. Donny, please.
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170. You know, this is
the fucking guy. ..
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171. I could find this
fucking Lebowski guy.
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172. His name is Lebowski?
That's your name, Dude.
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173. This is the guy who should
compensate me for the fucking rug.
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174. His wife goes out and owes money all
over town, and they pee on my rug?
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175. They pee on
your fucking rug?
Copy !req
176. Peed on my fucking rug.
That's right, Dude.
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177. They peed on
your fucking rug.
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178. This is the study.
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179. As you can see, the various
commendations, awards. ..
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180. "Jeffrey Lebowski." . ..
citations, honorary degrees, et cetera.
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181. Very impressive.
Oh, please feel free to inspect them.
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182. Oh. No, I'm not really. ..
Oh, please. Please.
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183. That is the key to
the city of Pasadena,
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184. which Mr. Lebowski received two years ago
in recognition of his various civic. ..
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185. Oh! That's the Los Angeles Chamber
of Commerce Business Achiever Award,
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186. which is given. ..
Oh, not necessarily given every year.
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187. Hey, is this. ..
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188. Given only when there's
a worthy somebody. ..
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189. Is this him with Nancy?
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190. Yes, indeed, that is Mr.
Lebowski with the first lady, yes.
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191. It was taken
when Mrs. Reagan. ..
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192. That's Lebowski
on the left there?
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193. Of course. Mr. Lebowski, on the left.
So he's a. ..
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194. You know, a handicapped
kind of guy?
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195. Mr. Lebowski is
disabled, yes.
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196. This picture was taken when Mrs.
Reagan was first lady of the nation.
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197. Yes, yes.
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198. Not of California.
Good shot.
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199. In fact, he met privately
with the President,
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200. though, unfortunately, there wasn't
enough time for a photo opportunity.
Copy !req
201. Oh, Nancy's pretty good.
Oh, wonderful woman.
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202. We were very happy to. ..
These are. ..
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203. Oh, those are Mr.
Lebowski's children, so to speak.
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204. Different mothers, huh?
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205. No, they're not. ..
Racially, he's pretty cool?
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206. They're not literally
his children.
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207. They're the Little Lebowski
Urban Achievers,
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208. inner city children of promise, but
without the necessary means for. ..
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209. Necessary means for
a higher education,
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210. so Mr. Lebowski is committed to
sending all of them to college.
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211. Excuse me.
Oh, geez.
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212. Thank you. Thank you.
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213. Far out. Think he's got room for one more?
One . . . Oh.
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214. You never went to college.
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215. Please, don't touch that.
Oh, yeah, yeah. No, I did,
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216. but, you know,
I spent most of my time
Copy !req
217. occupying various
administration buildings,
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218. smoking a lot
of Thai stick,
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219. breaking into the ROTC
and bowling.
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220. Tell you the truth, Brandt,
I don't remember most of it.
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221. Okay, sir.
You're a Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski.
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222. That's terrific.
Copy !req
223. But I am very busy,
as I imagine you are.
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224. What can I do for you, sir?
Copy !req
225. Well, sir,
it's this rug I have.
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226. It really tied
the room together.
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227. You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.
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228. Where do I fit in?
Copy !req
229. Well, they were looking
for you, these two guys.
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230. You know, they. ..
I'll say it again.
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231. You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.
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232. I know what happened.
Yes, yes.
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233. Oh, so you know that they were
trying to piss on your rug.
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234. Did I urinate on your rug?
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235. You mean, did you personally
come and pee on my rug?
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236. Hello! Do you speak
English, sir?
Copy !req
237. ¿Parla usted inglés?
Copy !req
238. I'll ask you again.
Did I urinate on your rug?
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239. No. Like I said,
Woo peed on my rug.
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240. I just want to
understand this, sir.
Copy !req
241. Every time a rug is micturated
upon in this fair city,
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242. I have to compensate
the person?
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243. Come on, man.
I'm not trying to scam anybody here.
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244. You know, I'm just. ..
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245. You're just looking for
a handout like every other. ..
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246. Are you employed,
Mr. Lebowski?
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247. Wait. Let me explain
something to you.
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248. I am not Mr. Lebowski.
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249. You're Mr. Lebowski.
I'm the Dude.
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250. So that's what you call me.
You know?
Copy !req
251. That or His Dudeness,
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252. or Duder or, you know,
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253. El Duderino, if you're not
into the whole brevity thing.
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254. Are you employed, sir?
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255. Employed?
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256. You don't go out looking for a job
dressed like that, do you? On a weekday?
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257. Is this a. ..
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258. What day is this?
Well, I do work, sir.
Copy !req
259. So, if you don't mind. ..
No, I do mind. The Dude minds.
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260. This will not stand, you know.
Copy !req
261. This aggression
will not stand, man.
Copy !req
262. I mean,
your wife owes money. ..
Copy !req
263. My wife is not
the issue here!
Copy !req
264. I hope that someday my wife will
learn to live on her allowance,
Copy !req
265. which is ample.
Copy !req
266. But if she does not, that
is her problem, not mine,
Copy !req
267. just as the rug
is your problem.
Copy !req
268. Just as every bum's lot in life
is his own responsibility,
Copy !req
269. regardless of who
he chooses to blame.
Copy !req
270. I didn't blame anyone
for the loss of my legs.
Copy !req
271. Some Chinaman took them
from me in Korea.
Copy !req
272. But I went out
and achieved anyway.
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273. I cannot solve your problems, sir.
Only you can.
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274. Well, fuck it.
Oh, fuck it.
Copy !req
275. Yes, that's your answer.
That's your answer to everything.
Copy !req
276. Tattoo it on your forehead!
Copy !req
277. Your revolution is over,
Mr. Lebowski!
Copy !req
278. Condolences! The bums lost!
Copy !req
279. My advice to you is to do
what your parents did!
Copy !req
280. Get a job, sir!
Copy !req
281. The bums will
always lose!
Copy !req
282. Do you hear me,
Lebowski?
Copy !req
283. The bums will
always lose.
Copy !req
284. How was your meeting,
Mr. Lebowski?
Copy !req
285. Okay.
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286. The old man told me to take
any rug in the house.
Copy !req
287. Well, enjoy.
Copy !req
288. And perhaps we'll see you
again sometime, Dude.
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289. Yeah, sure.
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290. If I'm in the neighborhood,
you know,
Copy !req
291. and I need to use the john.
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292. Blow on them.
Huh?
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293. Go ahead. Blow.
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294. You want me to blow
on your toes?
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295. Uh-huh.
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296. I can't blow that far.
Copy !req
297. Are you sure he won't mind?
Copy !req
298. Uli doesn't care about anything.
He's a nihilist.
Copy !req
299. Oh, that must be exhausting.
Copy !req
300. You're not blowing.
Copy !req
301. Our guest has to be getting along, Mrs.
Lebowski.
Copy !req
302. Oh!
Copy !req
303. You're Bunny.
Copy !req
304. I'll suck your cock
for $1,000.
Copy !req
305. Wonderful woman.
Copy !req
306. We're all very fond of her.
Very free-spirited.
Copy !req
307. Brandt can't watch though,
or he has to pay $100.
Copy !req
308. That's marvelous.
Copy !req
309. I'm just gonna go
find a cash machine.
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310. I'm slamming them tonight!
Copy !req
311. You guys are dead
in the water.
Copy !req
312. All right!
Way to go, Donny!
Copy !req
313. "If you will it,
it is no dream."
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314. Fucking 20 minutes late, man.
What the fuck is that?
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315. Theodore Herzl.
Huh?
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316. State of Israel.
If you will it, Dude, it is no dream.
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317. What the fuck are you
talking about, man?
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318. The carrier.
What's in the fucking carrier? Huh?
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319. Oh! Cynthia's dog.
Think it's a Pomeranian.
Copy !req
320. Can't leave him home alone
or he eats the furniture.
Copy !req
321. I'm watching it while Cynthia and
Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.
Copy !req
322. You brought a fucking
Pomeranian bowling?
Copy !req
323. What do you mean,
brought it bowling?
Copy !req
324. I didn't rent it shoes.
I'm not buying it a fucking beer.
Copy !req
325. He's not taking your
fucking turn, Dude.
Copy !req
326. Man, if my fucking ex-wife asked
me to take care of her fucking dog
Copy !req
327. while she and her boyfriend
went to Honolulu,
Copy !req
328. I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
Why can't she board it?
Copy !req
329. First of all, Dude,
you don't have an ex.
Copy !req
330. Secondly, this is a fucking
show dog with fucking papers.
Copy !req
331. You can't board it. It gets upset.
Its hair falls out.
Copy !req
332. Walter. ..
Fucking dog has fucking papers.
Copy !req
333. Over the line!
Huh?
Copy !req
334. I'm sorry, Smokey.
You were over the line. That's a foul.
Copy !req
335. Bullshit. Mark it eight, Dude.
Copy !req
336. Excuse me. Mark it zero.
Next frame.
Copy !req
337. Bullshit, Walter.
Mark it eight, Dude.
Copy !req
338. Smokey, this is not Nam.
This is bowling. There are rules.
Copy !req
339. Hey, Walter, come on.
Hey, man, it's Smokey.
Copy !req
340. So his toe slipped over
a little, you know.
Copy !req
341. It's just a game, man.
This is a league game.
Copy !req
342. This determines who enters
the next round robin.
Copy !req
343. - Am I wrong?
- Yeah, but I wasn't. ..
Copy !req
344. Am I wrong?
Yeah, but I wasn't over.
Copy !req
345. Give me the marker, Dude.
I'm marking an eight.
Copy !req
346. Smokey, my friend,
Copy !req
347. you're entering a world of pain.
Walter, man.
Copy !req
348. You mark that frame an eight,
you're entering a world of pain.
Copy !req
349. I'm not. ..
A world of pain.
Copy !req
350. Look, Dude,
this is your partner.
Copy !req
351. Has the whole world
gone crazy?
Copy !req
352. Am I the only one around here who
gives a shit about the rules?
Copy !req
353. Mark it zero!
Copy !req
354. They're calling the cops, man.
Put the piece away.
Copy !req
355. Mark it zero!
Walter, put the piece away.
Copy !req
356. Walter. You think I'm
fucking around here?
Copy !req
357. Mark it zero!
Copy !req
358. All right. It's fucking zero.
Copy !req
359. You happy,
you crazy fuck?
Copy !req
360. It's a league game,
Smokey.
Copy !req
361. You can't do that, man.
Copy !req
362. These guys, you know, they're
like me, they're pacifists.
Copy !req
363. Smokey was a
conscientious objector.
Copy !req
364. You know, Dude, I myself dabbled
in pacifism at one point.
Copy !req
365. Not in Nam, of course.
Copy !req
366. And you know he's got
emotional problems, man.
Copy !req
367. You mean, beyond pacifism?
Copy !req
368. He's fragile.
He's very fragile.
Copy !req
369. I did not know that.
Copy !req
370. Well, it's all water
under the bridge.
Copy !req
371. And we do enter
the next round robin.
Copy !req
372. Am I wrong?
No, you're not wrong.
Copy !req
373. Am I wrong?
You're not wrong, Walter.
Copy !req
374. You're just an asshole.
Copy !req
375. Okay then.
Copy !req
376. Play Quintana and
O'Brien next week.
Copy !req
377. They should be pushovers.
Copy !req
378. Man, would you just. ..
Copy !req
379. Just take it easy, man.
Copy !req
380. You know, that's your answer
for everything, Dude.
Copy !req
381. Let me point out something.
Pacifism is not. ..
Copy !req
382. Look at our current situation
with that camel fucker in Iraq.
Copy !req
383. Pacifism is not something
to hide behind.
Copy !req
384. Just take it easy, man.
Copy !req
385. I'm perfectly calm, Dude.
Copy !req
386. Yeah, waving the fucking gun around?
Calmer than you are.
Copy !req
387. Will you just take it easy?
Copy !req
388. Calmer than you are.
Copy !req
389. Dude, this is Smokey.
Copy !req
390. Look, I don't wanna be
a hard-on about this,
Copy !req
391. and I know
it wasn't your fault,
Copy !req
392. but I just thought
it was fair to tell you
Copy !req
393. that Gilbert and I will be
submitting this to the league
Copy !req
394. and asking them
to set aside the round.
Copy !req
395. I don't know,
maybe forfeit it to us.
Copy !req
396. So, like I say, just thought,
you know, fair warning.
Copy !req
397. Tell Walter.
Copy !req
398. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
399. Mr. Lebowski,
this is Brandt at...
Copy !req
400. Well, at Mr. Lebowski's
office.
Copy !req
401. Please call us
as soon as it's convenient.
Copy !req
402. Mr. Lebowski,
this is Mel Zelnicker
Copy !req
403. of the Southern Cal
Bowling League.
Copy !req
404. I just got an informal report that a
member of your team, a Walter Sobchak,
Copy !req
405. drew a firearm
during league play.
Copy !req
406. If this is true, of course,
Copy !req
407. it contravenes a number of
the league's bylaws
Copy !req
408. and also article 27
of the league...
Copy !req
409. Dude.
Hey, Marty.
Copy !req
410. Dude, I finally got. ..
Copy !req
411. I got the venue I wanted.
Copy !req
412. I'm performing my dance
quintet, you know, my cycle,
Copy !req
413. at Crane Jackson's Fountain
Street Theater on Tuesday night.
Copy !req
414. And, well, I'd love it if
you came and gave me notes.
Copy !req
415. I'll be there, man.
Copy !req
416. Dude, tomorrow's
already the tenth.
Copy !req
417. Far out.
Copy !req
418. Oh. Oh, all right. Okay.
Copy !req
419. Just slip the rent
under my door.
Copy !req
420. serious infraction
and examine your standing.
Copy !req
421. Thank you.
Copy !req
422. Mr. Lebowski, Brandt again.
Copy !req
423. Please do call us as soon as you
get in and I'll send the limo.
Copy !req
424. I hope you're not avoiding
this call because of the rug,
Copy !req
425. which I assure you
is not a problem.
Copy !req
426. We need your help, and...
Copy !req
427. Well, we would very much like to see you.
Thank you. It's Brandt.
Copy !req
428. We've had some
terrible news.
Copy !req
429. Mr. Lebowski's in seclusion
in the west wing.
Copy !req
430. Mr. Lebowski.
Copy !req
431. Funny.
Copy !req
432. I can look back on
a life of achievement,
Copy !req
433. challenges met,
Copy !req
434. competitors bested,
Copy !req
435. obstacles overcome.
Copy !req
436. I've accomplished
more than most men
Copy !req
437. and without
the use of my legs.
Copy !req
438. What makes a man,
Mr. Lebowski?
Copy !req
439. Dude.
Huh?
Copy !req
440. Oh, I don't know, sir.
Copy !req
441. Is it being prepared
to do the right thing,
Copy !req
442. whatever the cost?
Copy !req
443. Isn't that what
makes a man?
Copy !req
444. Sure, that and
a pair of testicles.
Copy !req
445. You're joking,
Copy !req
446. but perhaps you're right.
Copy !req
447. You mind if I do a Jay?
Copy !req
448. Bunny.
Copy !req
449. Excuse me?
Copy !req
450. Bunny Lebowski.
Copy !req
451. She is the light of my life.
Copy !req
452. Are you surprised
at my tears, sir?
Copy !req
453. Oh, fucking A.
Copy !req
454. Strong men also cry.
Copy !req
455. I received
this fax this morning.
Copy !req
456. As you can see,
it is a ransom note.
Copy !req
457. "We have Bunny."
Copy !req
458. Written by men who were unable to
achieve on a level field of play.
Copy !req
459. "Gather $1 million..."
Copy !req
460. Cowards! "...
in unmarked, nonconsecutive 20s."
Copy !req
461. Weaklings!
"Await instructions."
Copy !req
462. Bums!
"No funny stuff."
Copy !req
463. Bummer.
Huh?
Copy !req
464. This is a bummer, man.
That's . . . That's a bummer.
Copy !req
465. Brandt will fill you in
on the details.
Copy !req
466. Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a
generous offer to you to act as courier
Copy !req
467. once we get instructions
for the money.
Copy !req
468. Why me, man?
Copy !req
469. He believes the culprits might be
the very people who soiled your rug
Copy !req
470. and you are in a unique position to
confirm or disconfirm that suspicion.
Copy !req
471. He thinks the carpet pissers
did this?
Copy !req
472. Well, Dude,
we just don't know.
Copy !req
473. Welcome to the
Hotel California
Copy !req
474. Such a lovely place
Copy !req
475. Fucking Quintana.
Copy !req
476. That creep can roll, man.
Copy !req
477. Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
Yeah.
Copy !req
478. No, he's a sex offender
with a record.
Copy !req
479. He did six months in Chino for
exposing himself to an eight-year-old.
Copy !req
480. When he moved to Hollywood,
he had to go door-to-door
Copy !req
481. to tell everyone
he was a pederast.
Copy !req
482. What's a pederast, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
Copy !req
483. So, how much
did he give you?
Copy !req
484. 20 grand, man. And, of course,
I still get to keep the rug.
Copy !req
485. Just for making a hand-off?
Yeah.
Copy !req
486. They gave Dude a beeper.
Copy !req
487. So whenever these guys call. ..
What if it's during a game?
Copy !req
488. Oh, I told them if it was
during league play. ..
Copy !req
489. What's during
league play?
Copy !req
490. Life does not stop and
start at your convenience,
Copy !req
491. you miserable
piece of shit.
Copy !req
492. I figure. ..
What's wrong with Walter, Dude?
Copy !req
493. I figure it's easy money, you know.
It's all pretty harmless.
Copy !req
494. She probably
kidnapped herself.
Copy !req
495. What do you mean, Dude?
Rug-peers did not do this.
Copy !req
496. Look at it. A young trophy wife
marries this guy for his money.
Copy !req
497. She figures he isn't giving
her enough, you know.
Copy !req
498. She owes money
all over town.
Copy !req
499. That fucking bitch!
Copy !req
500. It's all a goddamn
fake, man.
Copy !req
501. It's like Lenin said,
Copy !req
502. you look for the person who
will benefit and, you know. ..
Copy !req
503. I Am the Walrus?
You know, you'll. ..
Copy !req
504. You know what I'm trying to say.
I Am the Walrus.
Copy !req
505. That fucking bitch!
Oh, yeah!
Copy !req
506. I Am the Walrus.
That's. ..
Copy !req
507. Shut the fuck up,
Donny!
Copy !req
508. V. I. Lenin, Vladimir
Ilyich Ulyanov!
Copy !req
509. What the fuck is
he talking about?
Copy !req
510. Fucking exactly what
happened to those. ..
Copy !req
511. That makes me
fucking sick!
Copy !req
512. Well, what do you care, Walter?
Those rich fucks.
Copy !req
513. This whole fucking thing.
Copy !req
514. I did not watch my buddies
die face down in the muck
Copy !req
515. so that this
fucking strumpet,
Copy !req
516. this fucking whore,
could waltz around. ..
Copy !req
517. I don't see any connection
with Vietnam, man.
Copy !req
518. Well, there isn't a
literal connection, Dude.
Copy !req
519. No, Walter, face it,
there isn't any connection.
Copy !req
520. Your roll.
Have it your way.
Copy !req
521. Your roll.
But my point is. ..
Copy !req
522. My point is. ..
Are you ready to be fucked, man?
Copy !req
523. I see you rolled your way
into the semis.
Copy !req
524. Dios mío, man.
Copy !req
525. Liam and me,
we're gonna fuck you up.
Copy !req
526. Yeah? Well, you know, that's
just like your opinion, man.
Copy !req
527. Let me tell you
something, pendejo.
Copy !req
528. You pull any of your
crazy shit with us,
Copy !req
529. you flash a piece out
on the lanes,
Copy !req
530. I'll take it away from you
and stick it up your ass
Copy !req
531. and pull the fucking trigger
till it goes click.
Copy !req
532. Jesus.
Copy !req
533. You said it, man.
Copy !req
534. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.
Copy !req
535. Eight-year-olds, Dude.
Copy !req
536. La-la-la, la-la-la, la-la-la
Copy !req
537. La-la-la, la, la, la, la
Copy !req
538. La-la, la-la
Copy !req
539. La-la-la
Copy !req
540. La-la-la, la-la-la
Copy !req
541. La-la, la-la
Copy !req
542. The man in me will do
Copy !req
543. Nearly any task
Copy !req
544. And as for compensation
Copy !req
545. There's little he would ask
Copy !req
546. Take a woman like you
Copy !req
547. To get through
Copy !req
548. To the man in me
Copy !req
549. Storm clouds are raging
Copy !req
550. All around my door
Copy !req
551. I think to myself
Copy !req
552. I might not take it anymore
Copy !req
553. Take a woman like your kind
Copy !req
554. To find the man in me
Copy !req
555. But, oh
Copy !req
556. What a wonderful feeling
Copy !req
557. Just to know
Copy !req
558. That you are near
Copy !req
559. Sets my heart a-reeling
Copy !req
560. From my toes
Copy !req
561. Up to my ears
Copy !req
562. The man in me
will hide sometimes
Copy !req
563. They called
about 80 minutes ago.
Copy !req
564. They want you to take the money,
drive north on the 405.
Copy !req
565. They will call you
on the portable phone
Copy !req
566. with instructions
in about 40 minutes.
Copy !req
567. One person only.
Copy !req
568. They were very clear on that, or
I'd go with you. One person only.
Copy !req
569. What happened to your jaw?
Oh, nothing, man.
Copy !req
570. Here's the money.
Copy !req
571. And the phone.
Copy !req
572. Please, Dude, follow whatever
instructions they give.
Copy !req
573. All right.
Her life is in your hands.
Copy !req
574. Man, don't say that.
Copy !req
575. Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat
that, her life is in your hands.
Copy !req
576. Oh, shit, man.
Copy !req
577. Her life is in
your hands, Dude.
Copy !req
578. Report back to us
as soon as it's done.
Copy !req
579. Where the fuck are you going, man?
Take the ringer, I'll drive.
Copy !req
580. The what?
The ringer.
Copy !req
581. The ringer, Dude.
Copy !req
582. What the. ..
Have they called yet?
Copy !req
583. What the hell is this?
Copy !req
584. My dirty undies, Dude.
The laundry. The whites.
Copy !req
585. Walter, I'm sure there's a reason
you brought your dirty undies, man.
Copy !req
586. That's right, Dude.
The weight.
Copy !req
587. The ringer cannot look empty.
Copy !req
588. Walter, what the fuck
are you thinking, man?
Copy !req
589. You're right, Dude.
I got to thinking.
Copy !req
590. I got to thinking, why should we settle
for a measly fucking 20 grand. ..
Copy !req
591. We? What the fuck, "we"?
You said you just wanted to come along.
Copy !req
592. My point, Dude, is why should
we settle for 20 grand
Copy !req
593. when we can keep the entire million?
Am I wrong?
Copy !req
594. Yes, you're wrong. This
isn't a fucking game, man.
Copy !req
595. Oh, but it is a game.
You said so yourself.
Copy !req
596. She kidnapped herself.
I said I thought. ..
Copy !req
597. Dude, here.
Who is this?
Copy !req
598. Dude. The bagman, man.
Where do you want us to go?
Copy !req
599. Us?
Copy !req
600. Shit!
Copy !req
601. Yeah, you know,
me and the driver.
Copy !req
602. I'm not handling the money, driving the car
and talking on the phone all by my. ..
Copy !req
603. Shut the fuck up!
Copy !req
604. Dude, are you fucking this up?
Who is that?
Copy !req
605. That is the driver.
I told you. ..
Copy !req
606. Oh, shit!
What the fuck's going on?
Copy !req
607. Walter. ..
What the fuck is going on?
Copy !req
608. He hung up, man. You fucked it up.
You fucked it up!
Copy !req
609. Her life was in our hands, man.
Easy, Dude.
Copy !req
610. We're screwed now. We don't get shit.
They're gonna kill her.
Copy !req
611. We're fucked, Walter.
Nothing is fucked, Dude.
Copy !req
612. Come on.
You're being very un-Dude.
Copy !req
613. They'll call back.
Look, she kidnapped. ..
Copy !req
614. You see? Nothing's
fucked here, Dude.
Copy !req
615. Nothing is fucked.
They're a bunch of fucking amateurs.
Copy !req
616. Walter, will you just
shut the fuck up?
Copy !req
617. Don't say peep while
I'm doing business here, man.
Copy !req
618. Okay, Dude.
Have it your way.
Copy !req
619. But they're amateurs.
Fuck.
Copy !req
620. Dude.
Copy !req
621. Okay, we proceed but only
if there is no funny stuff.
Copy !req
622. Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
623. So no funny stuff. Okay?
Copy !req
624. Just tell me where the fuck
you want us to go.
Copy !req
625. That was the sign, man.
Copy !req
626. So, all we gotta do
is get her back.
Copy !req
627. No one's in a position
to complain.
Copy !req
628. We keep the baksheesh.
Yeah, terrific, Walter.
Copy !req
629. But you haven't told me how we're
gonna get her back. Where is she?
Copy !req
630. That's the simple part, Dude.
Copy !req
631. We make the hand-off, I grab one of
them and beat it out of him. Huh?
Copy !req
632. That's a great plan, Walter.
Copy !req
633. That's fucking ingenious,
if I understand it correctly.
Copy !req
634. It's a Swiss fucking watch.
Copy !req
635. That's right, Dude.
The beauty of this is its simplicity.
Copy !req
636. Once a plan gets too complex,
everything can go wrong.
Copy !req
637. If there's one thing
I learned in Nam. ..
Copy !req
638. Dude.
Copy !req
639. You are coming
to wooden bridge.
Copy !req
640. When you cross the bridge,
Copy !req
641. you throw the bag from the
left window of the moving car.
Copy !req
642. You're being watched.
Copy !req
643. Fuck. What'd he say?
Where's the hand-off?
Copy !req
644. There is no fucking
hand-off, man.
Copy !req
645. At the wooden bridge we throw
the money out of the car.
Copy !req
646. We throw the money
out of the moving car.
Copy !req
647. We can't do that, Dude.
That fucks up our plan.
Copy !req
648. Well, call them up and
explain it to them, Walter.
Copy !req
649. Your plan is so
fucking simple,
Copy !req
650. I'm sure they'll
fucking understand it.
Copy !req
651. That's the beauty of it.
Copy !req
652. Wooden bridge, huh?
Throw them the money, Walter.
Copy !req
653. We're not fucking around, man.
Copy !req
654. Okay, Dude, the bridge is coming up.
Give me the ringer, chop-chop.
Copy !req
655. Fuck that.
Walter, I love you,
Copy !req
656. but sooner or later you're gonna have to
face the fact you're a goddamn moron.
Copy !req
657. Okay, Dude. No time to argue.
Hey, man!
Copy !req
658. Here's the bridge.
Hey, Walter! Hey, Walter!
Copy !req
659. Hey, Walter!
Here goes the ringer!
Copy !req
660. What the fuck?
Okay, Dude, you're wheel.
Copy !req
661. Hey, man, what the fuck?
At 15 mph, I roll out.
Copy !req
662. I double back, grab one of
them and beat it out of him.
Copy !req
663. The Uzi.
Uzi.
Copy !req
664. You didn't think I was rolling
out of here naked, did you?
Copy !req
665. Walter, please! Fifteen, Dude!
This is it! Let's take that hill!
Copy !req
666. Walter!
Copy !req
667. We have it!
Copy !req
668. Fuck it, Dude.
Copy !req
669. Let's go bowling.
Copy !req
670. Aitz chaim he, Dude,
as the ex used to say.
Copy !req
671. What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?
Copy !req
672. What the fuck are we
gonna tell Lebowski?
Copy !req
673. Oh, him.
Copy !req
674. I don't know.
What exactly is the problem?
Copy !req
675. The problem is. ..
Copy !req
676. What do you mean,
what's the. ..
Copy !req
677. There was no. ..
Copy !req
678. We didn't. ..
Copy !req
679. They're gonna kill
that poor woman, man!
Copy !req
680. What the fuck
are you talking about?
Copy !req
681. The poor woman, that poor
slut kidnapped herself.
Copy !req
682. Come on, Dude.
You said so yourself.
Copy !req
683. Man, I said I thought
she kidnapped herself.
Copy !req
684. You're the one who's
so fucking certain.
Copy !req
685. That's right, Dude.
100% certain.
Copy !req
686. They posted the next round
for the tournament.
Copy !req
687. Donny, shut the fuck. ..
Copy !req
688. When do we play?
This Saturday. Quintana and. ..
Copy !req
689. Saturday? Well, they'll
have to reschedule.
Copy !req
690. Walter, what am I
gonna tell Lebowski?
Copy !req
691. I told that fuck down at the league office.
Who's in charge of scheduling?
Copy !req
692. Walter!
Burkhalter.
Copy !req
693. I told that kraut a fucking thousand
times, I don't roll on shabbos!
Copy !req
694. Walter!
They already posted it.
Copy !req
695. Well, they can
fucking un-post it!
Copy !req
696. Who gives a shit?
They're gonna kill that poor woman, man!
Copy !req
697. What am I gonna tell Lebowski?
Come on, Dude.
Copy !req
698. Eventually she'll get tired of her little
game and, you know, wander on back.
Copy !req
699. How come you don't roll
on Saturday, Walter?
Copy !req
700. I'm shomer shabbos.
Copy !req
701. What's that, Walter?
Yeah, and in the meantime,
Copy !req
702. what do I tell Lebowski?
Copy !req
703. Saturday, Donny, is shabbos,
the Jewish day of rest.
Copy !req
704. That means I don't work,
I don't drive a car,
Copy !req
705. I don't fucking
ride in a car,
Copy !req
706. I don't handle money,
I don't turn on the oven
Copy !req
707. and I sure as shit
don't fucking roll!
Copy !req
708. Sheesh.
Copy !req
709. Shomer shabbos!
Copy !req
710. Walter, how am I gonna. ..
Shomer fucking shabbos!
Copy !req
711. Oh, fuck! That's it. I'm out of here.
Oh, come on, Dude.
Copy !req
712. Dude! Dude!
Copy !req
713. You just tell him. ..
Copy !req
714. Tell him we made the drop and
everything went, you know. ..
Copy !req
715. Oh, yeah.
How'd it go?
Copy !req
716. Went all right.
Dude's car got a little dinged up.
Copy !req
717. Walter, we didn't make
the fucking hand-off, man!
Copy !req
718. They didn't get
the fucking money!
Copy !req
719. And they're gonna. ..
They're gonna. ..
Copy !req
720. They're gonna kill
that poor woman.
Copy !req
721. They're gonna kill
that poor woman!
Copy !req
722. Walter, if you can't
ride in a car,
Copy !req
723. then how do you get
around on shabbos?
Copy !req
724. Really, Dude,
you surprise me.
Copy !req
725. They're not gonna
kill shit.
Copy !req
726. They're not gonna do shit.
Copy !req
727. What can they do to her?
Bunch of fucking amateurs.
Copy !req
728. And meanwhile,
look at the bottom line.
Copy !req
729. Who's sitting on a million
fucking dollars?
Copy !req
730. Am I wrong?
Walter.
Copy !req
731. Who's got a fucking million fucking
dollars sitting in the trunk of our car?
Copy !req
732. Our car, Walter? And what do they got?
My dirty undies.
Copy !req
733. My fucking whites!
Copy !req
734. Say, Dude?
Copy !req
735. Where is your car?
Copy !req
736. Who's got your undies, Walter?
Where's your car, Dude?
Copy !req
737. You don't know,
Walter?
Copy !req
738. It was parked in a handicap zone.
Perhaps they towed it.
Copy !req
739. You fucking know
it's been stolen.
Copy !req
740. Well, certainly that's
a possibility, Dude.
Copy !req
741. Oh, fuck it.
Copy !req
742. Where you going, Dude?
I'm going home, Donny.
Copy !req
743. Phone's ringing, Dude.
Thank you, Donny!
Copy !req
744. Yeah.
Copy !req
745. Green with some brown,
rust coloration.
Copy !req
746. And was there anything
of value in the car?
Copy !req
747. Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
748. A tape deck, some Creedence
tapes, and there was a. ..
Copy !req
749. My briefcase.
Copy !req
750. In the briefcase?
Copy !req
751. Papers.
Copy !req
752. Just papers.
Copy !req
753. You know, my papers,
business papers.
Copy !req
754. And what do you do, sir?
I'm unemployed.
Copy !req
755. My rug was also stolen.
Copy !req
756. Your rug was in the car?
Copy !req
757. No. Here.
Copy !req
758. Separate incidents.
Copy !req
759. The Dude is not in.
Copy !req
760. Do you find them much,
these stolen cars?
Copy !req
761. Sometimes.
Copy !req
762. Wouldn't hold out much hope
for the tape deck though.
Copy !req
763. Or the Creedence.
Copy !req
764. What about the briefcase?
Copy !req
765. Mr. Lebowski,
I'd like to see you.
Copy !req
766. Call when you get home
and I'll send a car for you.
Copy !req
767. My name is Maude Lebowski.
I'm the one who took your rug.
Copy !req
768. Well, guess we can close
the file on that one.
Copy !req
769. I'll be with you in
a moment, Mr. Lebowski.
Copy !req
770. Does the female form make you
uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?
Copy !req
771. Is that what this is a picture of?
In a sense, yes.
Copy !req
772. My art has been commended
as being strongly vaginal,
Copy !req
773. which bothers some men.
Copy !req
774. The word itself makes
some men uncomfortable.
Copy !req
775. Vagina.
Oh, yeah?
Copy !req
776. Yes, they don't like hearing it
and find it difficult to say,
Copy !req
777. whereas without
batting an eye,
Copy !req
778. a man will refer to his dick,
or his rod or his johnson.
Copy !req
779. "Johnson"?
Copy !req
780. All right, Mr. Lebowski,
let's get down to cases.
Copy !req
781. My father told me he agreed
to let you have the rug,
Copy !req
782. but as it was a gift from me to my
late mother, it was not his to give.
Copy !req
783. Now, your face.
Copy !req
784. As for this kidnapping.
Copy !req
785. Huh?
Copy !req
786. Yes, I know all about it, and I
know that you acted as courier.
Copy !req
787. Let me tell you something.
The whole thing stinks to high heaven.
Copy !req
788. Yeah, right, but let me explain
something about the rug.
Copy !req
789. Do you like sex,
Mr. Lebowski?
Copy !req
790. Excuse me? Sex, the physical
act of love. Coitus.
Copy !req
791. Do you like it?
I was talking about my rug.
Copy !req
792. You're not interested in sex?
Copy !req
793. You mean coitus?
I like it, too.
Copy !req
794. It's a male myth about
feminists that we hate sex.
Copy !req
795. It can be a natural,
zesty enterprise.
Copy !req
796. However, there are
some people,
Copy !req
797. it is called satyriasis in
men, nymphomania in women,
Copy !req
798. who engage in it compulsively
and without joy.
Copy !req
799. Oh, no.
Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski.
Copy !req
800. These unfortunate souls cannot love,
in the true sense of the word.
Copy !req
801. Our mutual acquaintance,
Bunny, is one of these.
Copy !req
802. Listen, Maude,
Copy !req
803. I'm sorry if your stepmother
is a nympho,
Copy !req
804. but, you know, I don't see
what this has to do with. ..
Copy !req
805. You have any Kahlua?
Take a look at this, sir.
Copy !req
806. Oh, I know that guy.
Copy !req
807. He's a nihilist.
Copy !req
808. "Karl Hungus."
Copy !req
809. Hi.
Hello.
Copy !req
810. Mein dispatcher says there is
something wrong with dein Kabel.
Copy !req
811. Yeah. Come on in.
Copy !req
812. I'm not really sure exactly what's
really wrong with the cable.
Copy !req
813. That's why they sent me.
I am an expert.
Copy !req
814. The TV's in here.
Copy !req
815. You recognize her, of course.
Helga, bring my tools.
Copy !req
816. That's my friend Sherry.
Copy !req
817. She just came over
to use the shower.
Copy !req
818. The story is ludicrous.
Copy !req
819. My name is Karl.
Ich bin expert.
Copy !req
820. You must be here
to fix the cable.
Copy !req
821. Lord, you can imagine
where it goes from here.
Copy !req
822. He fixes the cable?
Copy !req
823. Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.
Copy !req
824. Little matter to me that this woman chose
to pursue a career in pornography,
Copy !req
825. nor that she has been
banging Jackie Treehorn,
Copy !req
826. to use the parlance
of our times.
Copy !req
827. However, I am one of the two
trustees of the Lebowski Foundation,
Copy !req
828. the other being my father.
Copy !req
829. The foundation takes
youngsters from Watts and. ..
Copy !req
830. Shit, yeah. The achievers.
Copy !req
831. Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes,
and proud we are of all of them.
Copy !req
832. I asked my father about his withdrawal of
$1 million from the foundation account,
Copy !req
833. and he told me
about this abduction,
Copy !req
834. but I tell you
it is preposterous.
Copy !req
835. This compulsive fornicator is taking
my father for the proverbial ride.
Copy !req
836. Yeah, but my. ..
I'm getting to your rug.
Copy !req
837. My father and I
don't get along.
Copy !req
838. He doesn't approve
of my lifestyle and,
Copy !req
839. needless to say,
I don't approve of his.
Copy !req
840. However, I hardly wish to make my
father's embezzlement a police matter.
Copy !req
841. So I'm proposing that you
try to recover the money
Copy !req
842. from the people
you delivered it to.
Copy !req
843. Well, I could do that.
Copy !req
844. If you successfully do so,
Copy !req
845. I will compensate you to the tune
of 10% of the recovered sum.
Copy !req
846. A hundred. ..
Thousand. Yes.
Copy !req
847. Bones or clams or
whatever you call them.
Copy !req
848. Yeah, but what about my. ..
Your rug, yes.
Copy !req
849. Well, with that money you
can buy any number of rugs
Copy !req
850. that don't have sentimental
value for me.
Copy !req
851. And I am sorry about
that crack on the jaw.
Copy !req
852. Oh, that's fine.
That doesn't even. ..
Copy !req
853. Here's the name and number of a
doctor who will look at it for you.
Copy !req
854. You will receive no bill.
Copy !req
855. He's a good man
and thorough.
Copy !req
856. That's thoughtful but. ..
Copy !req
857. Please see him, Jeffrey.
He's a good man and thorough.
Copy !req
858. Oh, well, all right.
Copy !req
859. So he says, "My wife's
a pain in the ass.
Copy !req
860. "She's always busting
my frigging agates.
Copy !req
861. "My daughter's married
to a loser bastard.
Copy !req
862. "I got a rash so bad on my
ass I can't even sit down.
Copy !req
863. "But you know me,
I can't complain."
Copy !req
864. I got a rash, man. Fucking A.
Copy !req
865. I gotta tell you, Tone, man,
Copy !req
866. earlier today I was really
feeling shitty, man.
Copy !req
867. Really down in the dumps.
Copy !req
868. Lost a little money. ..
Copy !req
869. Hey, you know what? Forget about it, huh?
Forget about it.
Copy !req
870. Yeah, fuck it, man.
Copy !req
871. You can't be worried about that shit.
Life goes on, man.
Copy !req
872. Well, home, sweet home,
Mr. I.
Copy !req
873. Hey, yo. Come here.
Copy !req
874. Who's your friend in
the Volkswagen? Huh?
Copy !req
875. Yeah.
He followed us here.
Copy !req
876. When did he start. ..
Whoa! What the fuck?
Copy !req
877. Get in the limo, you son of a bitch!
No arguments!
Copy !req
878. Hey! Hey! Careful, man!
There's a beverage here!
Copy !req
879. Start talking, and talk
fast, you lousy bum.
Copy !req
880. We've been frantically
trying to reach you, Dude.
Copy !req
881. Where is my goddamn money,
you bum?
Copy !req
882. Well, we . . . I don't. ..
Copy !req
883. They did not receive
the money, you nitwit!
Copy !req
884. They did not
receive the money!
Copy !req
885. Her life was
in your hands!
Copy !req
886. This is our concern, Dude.
Copy !req
887. No, man.
Nothing is fucked here.
Copy !req
888. Nothing is fucked?
No, man.
Copy !req
889. The goddamn plane has
crashed into the mountain!
Copy !req
890. Man, come on. Who are you gonna
believe, those guys or. ..
Copy !req
891. We dropped off the damn money.
Copy !req
892. We?
Copy !req
893. I, the royal we.
Copy !req
894. You know. The editorial. ..
Copy !req
895. I dropped off the money
exactly as per. ..
Copy !req
896. Look, man, I've got certain information.
All right?
Copy !req
897. Certain things have
come to light and. ..
Copy !req
898. You know, has it ever
occurred to you
Copy !req
899. that instead of, you know,
running around, blaming me. ..
Copy !req
900. You know, given the nature
of all this new shit,
Copy !req
901. you know, this could be
a lot more complex. ..
Copy !req
902. I mean, it's not just. ..
It might not be just such a simple . . . You know?
Copy !req
903. What in God's holy name
are you blathering about?
Copy !req
904. Well, I'll tell you what
I'm blathering about.
Copy !req
905. I've got information, man.
Copy !req
906. New shit has come to light.
Copy !req
907. And, shit, man,
Copy !req
908. she kidnapped herself.
Copy !req
909. Well, sure, man.
Look at it. You know?
Copy !req
910. A young trophy wife, in the
parlance of our times, you know.
Copy !req
911. She owes money all over town,
including to known pornographers.
Copy !req
912. And that's cool.
That's cool.
Copy !req
913. I'm saying she
needs money, man.
Copy !req
914. And, you know, of course they're
gonna say they didn't get it
Copy !req
915. because she wants more, man.
Copy !req
916. She's gotta feed the monkey.
I mean. ..
Copy !req
917. Hasn't that ever
occurred to you, man?
Copy !req
918. Sir?
Copy !req
919. No, Mr. Lebowski, it had
not occurred to me.
Copy !req
920. That had not
occurred to us, Dude.
Copy !req
921. Well, okay, you know?
Copy !req
922. You guys aren't privy to all
the new shit, so, you know. ..
Copy !req
923. But, hey, that's what you. ..
That's what you pay me for.
Copy !req
924. Speaking of which,
Copy !req
925. do you think that you could
give me my $20,000 in cash?
Copy !req
926. My concern is, and I've gotta
check it with my accountant,
Copy !req
927. that this might bump me up
into a higher tax. ..
Copy !req
928. Brandt, give him
the envelope.
Copy !req
929. Oh, well, if you've already got
the check made out, that's cool.
Copy !req
930. We received this
this morning.
Copy !req
931. Since you have
failed to achieve,
Copy !req
932. even in the modest task
which was your charge,
Copy !req
933. since you have
stolen my money,
Copy !req
934. since you have unrepentantly
betrayed my trust,
Copy !req
935. I have no choice
but to tell these bums
Copy !req
936. to do whatever is necessary
Copy !req
937. to recover their money
from you, Jeffrey Lebowski.
Copy !req
938. And with Brandt as my witness,
I will tell you this,
Copy !req
939. any further harm
visited upon Bunny
Copy !req
940. will be visited tenfold
upon your head.
Copy !req
941. By God, sir,
Copy !req
942. I will not abide another toe.
Copy !req
943. I hear the cottonwoods
whispering above
Copy !req
944. That wasn't her toe, Dude.
Copy !req
945. Whose toe was it, Walter?
How the fuck should I know?
Copy !req
946. I do know that nothing about it indicates.
The nail polish, Walter.
Copy !req
947. Fine, Dude.
Copy !req
948. As if it's impossible to get some nail
polish, apply it to someone else's toe. ..
Copy !req
949. Someone else. ..
Pinking shears.
Copy !req
950. Where the fuck are
they gonna get. ..
Copy !req
951. You want a toe?
I can get you a toe.
Copy !req
952. Believe me,
there are ways, Dude.
Copy !req
953. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
Yeah, but, Walter. ..
Copy !req
954. Hell, I could get you a toe by 3:00
this afternoon with nail polish.
Copy !req
955. These fucking amateurs.
Walter. ..
Copy !req
956. They send us a toe, we're supposed
to shit ourselves with fear.
Copy !req
957. Jesus Christ!
Walter. ..
Copy !req
958. The point is. ..
They're gonna kill her, Walter,
Copy !req
959. and then they're
gonna kill me.
Copy !req
960. Dude, that's. ..
Copy !req
961. That's just the
stress talking, man.
Copy !req
962. Now, so far we have what appears to me
to be a series of victimless crimes.
Copy !req
963. What about the toe?
Forget about the fucking toe!
Copy !req
964. Excuse me, sir.
Could you please keep your voices down?
Copy !req
965. This is a family restaurant.
Copy !req
966. Oh, please! Dear,
for your information,
Copy !req
967. the Supreme Court has roundly
rejected prior restraint.
Copy !req
968. Come on. Walter, this is not a
First Amendment thing, man.
Copy !req
969. Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm
gonna have to ask you to leave.
Copy !req
970. Lady, I got buddies who
died face down in the muck
Copy !req
971. so that you and I can enjoy
this family restaurant!
Copy !req
972. All right, I'm out of here.
Hey, Dude, don't go away, man.
Copy !req
973. Come on. This affects all of us, man!
It's our basic freedoms!
Copy !req
974. I'm staying.
Copy !req
975. I'm finishing my coffee.
Copy !req
976. Enjoying my coffee.
Copy !req
977. The Dude is not in.
Copy !req
978. Leave a message after the beep.
it takes a minute.
Copy !req
979. Mr. Lebowski, this is Duty
Officer Rolvaag of the LAPD.
Copy !req
980. We've recovered
your automobile.
Copy !req
981. It can be claimed at the North Hollywood
Auto Circus there on Victory.
Copy !req
982. Their hours there are...
Copy !req
983. Far out, man. Far fucking out!
Copy !req
984. Hey! This is a private
residence, man.
Copy !req
985. Oh, nice marmot.
Copy !req
986. Where is the money, Lebowski?
We wants the money, Lebowski!
Copy !req
987. You think we are kidding or
making with the funny stuff?
Copy !req
988. We could do things you haven't
dreamed of, Lebowski.
Copy !req
989. Ja, we believes in nothing.
We believes in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing!
Copy !req
990. And tomorrow we come back
and we cut off your johnson.
Copy !req
991. Excuse me?
I said, we cut off your johnson!
Copy !req
992. Just think about that,
Lebowski.
Copy !req
993. Your wiggly penis, Lebowski.
Copy !req
994. Ja. Maybe we stomp on it
and squish it.
Copy !req
995. It was discovered last night in Van
Nuys lodged against an abutment.
Copy !req
996. Oh, man. Lodged where?
Copy !req
997. You're lucky she didn't
get chopped, Mr. Lebowski.
Copy !req
998. Oh, man!
Must've been a joyride situation.
Copy !req
999. They abandoned the vehicle once
they hit the retaining wall.
Copy !req
1000. Oh, my fucking briefcase, man!
It's not here! Shit!
Copy !req
1001. Yeah, I saw that
on the report. Sorry.
Copy !req
1002. You gotta get in
on the other side.
Copy !req
1003. The side view was found
on the road by the car.
Copy !req
1004. You're lucky they left the tape
deck though, and the Creedence.
Copy !req
1005. Oh, Jesus!
What's that smell, man?
Copy !req
1006. Yeah. It's probably
a vagrant slept in the car.
Copy !req
1007. Or maybe just used it
as a toilet and moved on.
Copy !req
1008. Hey, man,
Copy !req
1009. are you gonna find these guys?
Copy !req
1010. Or, you know, I mean. ..
You got any promising leads or. ..
Copy !req
1011. Leads?
Copy !req
1012. Yeah. Sure.
Copy !req
1013. I'll just check with the boys
down at the crime lab.
Copy !req
1014. They got four more detectives
working on the case.
Copy !req
1015. They got us working in shifts!
Copy !req
1016. Leads!
Copy !req
1017. My only hope is that
the big Lebowski kills me
Copy !req
1018. before the Germans
can cut my dick off.
Copy !req
1019. Leads!
Copy !req
1020. Now, that is just
ridiculous, Dude.
Copy !req
1021. No one's going to
cut your dick off.
Copy !req
1022. Thank you, Walter.
Not if I have anything to say about it.
Copy !req
1023. Thank you, Walter.
Copy !req
1024. That makes me feel very secure.
Dude?
Copy !req
1025. That makes me feel very
warm inside, man. Dude?
Copy !req
1026. This whole fucking thing.
Copy !req
1027. I could be sitting here with
just pee stains on my rug.
Copy !req
1028. But no, man, I got a, you know.
Yeah. Fucking Germans.
Copy !req
1029. Nothing changes.
Copy !req
1030. Fucking Nazis.
They were Nazis, Dude?
Copy !req
1031. Oh, come on, Donny.
They were threatening castration!
Copy !req
1032. Uh-huh.
Are we gonna split hairs here?
Copy !req
1033. No.
Am I wrong?
Copy !req
1034. Well, he didn't. ..
Man, they were nihilists, man.
Copy !req
1035. They kept saying they
believed in nothing.
Copy !req
1036. Nihilists.
Copy !req
1037. Fuck me.
Copy !req
1038. I mean, say what you want about the
tenets of national socialism, Dude.
Copy !req
1039. At least it's an ethos.
Yeah.
Copy !req
1040. And, also, let's not forget.
Let's not forget, Dude,
Copy !req
1041. that keeping wildlife,
an amphibious rodent,
Copy !req
1042. for, you know,
domestic. ..
Copy !req
1043. Within the city. ..
Copy !req
1044. That ain't legal, either.
What are you, a fucking park ranger now?
Copy !req
1045. No! I'm just
trying to. ..
Copy !req
1046. Who gives a shit
about the fucking marmot?
Copy !req
1047. We are sympathizing here, Dude.
Fuck sympathy.
Copy !req
1048. I don't need your fucking sympathy, man.
I need my fucking johnson.
Copy !req
1049. What do you need that for, Dude?
You have got to buck up, man!
Copy !req
1050. You cannot drag this negative
energy into the tournament.
Copy !req
1051. Fuck the tournament.
Fuck you, Walter.
Copy !req
1052. Fuck the tournament?
Copy !req
1053. Okay, Dude. I can see you don't
want to be cheered up here.
Copy !req
1054. Come on, Donny.
Let's go get us a lane.
Copy !req
1055. Another Caucasian, Gary.
Right, Dude.
Copy !req
1056. Friends like these, huh, Gary?
That's right, Dude.
Copy !req
1057. See them tumbling down
Copy !req
1058. Pledging their love
to the ground
Copy !req
1059. Lonely, but free,
I'll be found
Copy !req
1060. You got a good sarsaparilla?
Sioux City Sarsaparilla?
Copy !req
1061. Yeah. That's a good one.
Copy !req
1062. How're you doing there,
Dude?
Copy !req
1063. Not too good, man.
Copy !req
1064. One of those days, huh?
Yeah.
Copy !req
1065. Well, a wiser fellow
than myself once said,
Copy !req
1066. "Sometimes you eat
the bear and . . ."
Copy !req
1067. Much obliged.
Copy !req
1068. "Sometimes the bear,
well, he eats you."
Copy !req
1069. That some kind of
Eastern thing?
Copy !req
1070. Far from it.
Copy !req
1071. I like your style, Dude.
Copy !req
1072. Oh, well, I dig
your style, too, man.
Copy !req
1073. Got a whole cowboy thing
going.
Copy !req
1074. Thank you.
Copy !req
1075. There's just one thing, Dude.
Copy !req
1076. What's that?
Copy !req
1077. Do you have to use
so many cuss words?
Copy !req
1078. What the fuck are
you talking about?
Copy !req
1079. Okay, Dude. Have it your way.
Copy !req
1080. Take her easy, Dude.
Copy !req
1081. Yeah. Thanks, man.
Copy !req
1082. Call for you, Dude.
Copy !req
1083. Hello? Jeffrey, you have
not gone to the doctor.
Copy !req
1084. Oh, yeah, no.
No, I haven't yet.
Copy !req
1085. I'd like to see you
immediately.
Copy !req
1086. Oh?
Copy !req
1087. So, you're Lebowski.
Yeah.
Copy !req
1088. Maude has told me
all about you.
Copy !req
1089. She'll be back in a minute.
Sit down.
Copy !req
1090. Do you want a drink?
Yeah, sure. White Russian.
Copy !req
1091. The bar's over there.
Copy !req
1092. So, what do you do, Lebowski?
Who the fuck are you, man?
Copy !req
1093. Just a friend of Maudie's. Yeah?
The friend with the cleft asshole?
Copy !req
1094. What do you do?
Oh, nothing much.
Copy !req
1095. Hello, Jeffrey.
Hello.
Copy !req
1096. Yeah. How are you?
Listen, Maude.
Copy !req
1097. I got to
Copy !req
1098. tender my resignation
or whatever
Copy !req
1099. because looks like your mother
really was kidnapped after all.
Copy !req
1100. She most certainly was not.
Copy !req
1101. Hey, man, why don't you
fucking listen occasionally?
Copy !req
1102. You might learn something.
Now, I got. ..
Copy !req
1103. Please don't call her
my mother.
Copy !req
1104. She's most definitely the
perpetrator and not the victim.
Copy !req
1105. I'm telling you, I've got
pretty definitive evidence.
Copy !req
1106. From who?
From the main guy, Uli.
Copy !req
1107. Uli Kunkel? Her costar
in the beaver picture?
Copy !req
1108. You mean vagina?
I mean, you know the guy?
Copy !req
1109. I might have introduced them,
for all I know.
Copy !req
1110. Do you remember Uli?
Copy !req
1111. He's a musician.
Used to have a group, Autobahn.
Copy !req
1112. Look in my LP's.
They released one album in the late '70s.
Copy !req
1113. Their music is
sort of a techno pop.
Copy !req
1114. So he's pretending to be the abductor?
Well, yeah.
Copy !req
1115. Look, Jeffrey, you don't really kidnap
someone you're acquainted with.
Copy !req
1116. The whole idea is that the hostage can't
identify you after you've let them go.
Copy !req
1117. Well, I know that.
Copy !req
1118. What the fuck is with this guy?
Who is he?
Copy !req
1119. Knox Harrington,
the video artist.
Copy !req
1120. So, Uli has the money.
Copy !req
1121. Well, no, not exactly.
Copy !req
1122. This is a very complicated
case, Maude.
Copy !req
1123. A lot of what-have-yous
Copy !req
1124. and a lot of strands
to keep in my head, man.
Copy !req
1125. You know, a lot of strands
in the old Duder's head.
Copy !req
1126. Hello?
Copy !req
1127. If Uli doesn't have it,
then who does?
Copy !req
1128. It's Sandra
about the Biennale.
Copy !req
1129. Look. I have to take this.
Do you still have that doctor's number?
Copy !req
1130. No, really, it's not even bruised anymore.
Oh, please, Jeffrey.
Copy !req
1131. I don't want to be responsible
for any delayed aftereffects.
Copy !req
1132. Aftereffects?
Copy !req
1133. Could you slide your shorts
down, Mr. Lebowski, please?
Copy !req
1134. Mmm?
Copy !req
1135. No, no, man.
She hit me right here.
Copy !req
1136. I understand. Could you slide
your shorts down, please?
Copy !req
1137. Just got home from Illinois
Copy !req
1138. Locked the front door, oh, boy
Copy !req
1139. Got to sit down,
take a rest on the porch
Copy !req
1140. Imagination sets in
Copy !req
1141. Pretty soon I'm singin'
Copy !req
1142. Doo, doo, doo
Copy !req
1143. Looking out my back door
Copy !req
1144. Keeping mighty cool.
There's a giant doing cartwheels
Copy !req
1145. A statue wearing high heels
Copy !req
1146. Look at all the
happy creatures
Copy !req
1147. Dancing on the lawn
Copy !req
1148. A dinosaur Victrola
listening to Buck Owens
Copy !req
1149. Doo, doo, doo
Copy !req
1150. Looking out my back door
Copy !req
1151. Tambourines and elephants
are playing in the band
Copy !req
1152. Doo, doo, doo
Copy !req
1153. Wondrous apparition
provided by magician
Copy !req
1154. Doo, doo, doo
Copy !req
1155. Looking out my back door
Copy !req
1156. Tambourines and elephants
are playing in the band
Copy !req
1157. Won't you take a ride
on the flying spoon?
Copy !req
1158. Doo, doo, doo
Copy !req
1159. Bother me tomorrow
Copy !req
1160. Today I'll buy no sorrows
Copy !req
1161. Doo, doo, doo
Copy !req
1162. Looking out my back door
Copy !req
1163. He lives in North Hollywood on
Radford, near the In-N-Out Burger.
Copy !req
1164. No, the In-N-Out
Burger's on Camrose.
Copy !req
1165. Near the In-N-Out Burger.
Those are good burgers, Walter.
Copy !req
1166. Shut the fuck up, Donny.
The kid is in the ninth grade, Dude.
Copy !req
1167. And his father is. ..
Are you ready for this?
Copy !req
1168. His father is
Arthur Digby Sellers.
Copy !req
1169. Who the fuck is that?
Copy !req
1170. Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?
Who the. ..
Copy !req
1171. Have you ever heard of a little
show called Branded, Dude?
Copy !req
1172. Yes, yes, I. ..
Copy !req
1173. "All but one man died
there at Bitter Creek."
Copy !req
1174. I know the fucking show,
Walter. So what?
Copy !req
1175. Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers
wrote 156 episodes, Dude.
Copy !req
1176. The bulk of the series.
Copy !req
1177. Oh.
Copy !req
1178. Not exactly a lightweight. No.
Copy !req
1179. And yet his son
is a fucking dunce.
Copy !req
1180. Anyway, we'll go there
after the what-have-you.
Copy !req
1181. We'll brace the kid.
Should be a pushover.
Copy !req
1182. We'll be near
the In-N-Out Burger.
Copy !req
1183. Shut the fuck up, Donny!
Copy !req
1184. We'll go out there, we'll brace the kid.
He should be a pushover.
Copy !req
1185. We'll get that fucking
million dollars back,
Copy !req
1186. if he hasn't
spent it already.
Copy !req
1187. A million fucking clams.
Copy !req
1188. And, yes, we'll be near the.
In-N-Out.
Copy !req
1189. Shh! Shh! Some burgers, some beers.
A few laughs.
Copy !req
1190. Our fucking troubles
are over, Dude.
Copy !req
1191. Oh, fuck me, man.
Copy !req
1192. That kid's already spent
all the money, man.
Copy !req
1193. New Vette? Hardly, Dude.
Copy !req
1194. I'd say he still has $960,000, $970,000
left, depending on the options.
Copy !req
1195. Wait in the car, Donny.
Copy !req
1196. Yes?
Pilar?
Copy !req
1197. My name is Walter Sobchak.
This is my associate, Jeffrey Lebowski.
Copy !req
1198. We came to talk
about little Larry.
Copy !req
1199. May we come in?
Yes, yes.
Copy !req
1200. Thank you.
Copy !req
1201. That's him, Dude.
Copy !req
1202. And a good day
to you, sir!
Copy !req
1203. Sit down, please.
Copy !req
1204. Larry, sweetie,
the man is here!
Copy !req
1205. Is he. ..
Does he still write?
Copy !req
1206. Oh, no, no.
He has health problems.
Copy !req
1207. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
1208. Sir, I just want to say
Copy !req
1209. that we're both,
on a personal level,
Copy !req
1210. really enormous fans.
Copy !req
1211. Branded, especially
the early episodes,
Copy !req
1212. was truly a source
of inspiration.
Copy !req
1213. Sweetie, sit down.
This man is the police.
Copy !req
1214. Oh, no, ma'am. We didn't want to give the
impression that we were police, exactly.
Copy !req
1215. We're hoping it won't be
necessary to call the police.
Copy !req
1216. But that's up to
little Larry here.
Copy !req
1217. Isn't it, Larry?
Copy !req
1218. Is this your homework,
Larry?
Copy !req
1219. Is this your homework, Larry?
Look, man, it. ..
Copy !req
1220. Dude. Please?
Is this your homework, Larry?
Copy !req
1221. Just ask him about
the car, man.
Copy !req
1222. Is this yours, Larry?
Is this your homework, Larry?
Copy !req
1223. Is that your car out front?
Copy !req
1224. Is this your homework, Larry?
We know it's his fucking homework!
Copy !req
1225. Where's the fucking money,
you little brat?
Copy !req
1226. Look, Larry, have you
ever heard of Vietnam?
Copy !req
1227. For Christ's sake, Walter.
You are entering a world of pain, son.
Copy !req
1228. We know that this is your homework.
We know that you stole the car.
Copy !req
1229. And the fucking money.
And the fucking money!
Copy !req
1230. And we know that
this is your homework!
Copy !req
1231. We're gonna cut
your dick off, Larry.
Copy !req
1232. You're killing
your father, Larry.
Copy !req
1233. All right.
This is pointless.
Copy !req
1234. Okay, time for Plan B.
Copy !req
1235. You might want to watch out
that front window, Larry.
Copy !req
1236. Son, this is what happens when
you fuck a stranger in the ass!
Copy !req
1237. A little language
problem here.
Copy !req
1238. Little prick's
stonewalling me.
Copy !req
1239. Walter.
Copy !req
1240. What are you doing, man?
Copy !req
1241. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1242. Here you go, Larry.
Copy !req
1243. You see what happens?
Copy !req
1244. You see what happens, Larry?
Copy !req
1245. You see what happens?
Oh, great.
Copy !req
1246. This is what happens when you fuck
a stranger in the ass, Larry.
Copy !req
1247. This is what happens, Larry.
Copy !req
1248. You see what happens, Larry?
Copy !req
1249. You see what happens when you
fuck a stranger in the ass?
Copy !req
1250. This is what happens!
Copy !req
1251. You see what happens, Larry?
Copy !req
1252. Do you see what happens, Larry, when
you fuck a stranger in the ass?
Copy !req
1253. This is what happens, Larry!
Copy !req
1254. My car! My baby!
This is what happens, Larry!
Copy !req
1255. This is what happens
when you fuck a stranger. ..
Copy !req
1256. What the fuck are you
doing, man? Stop it!
Copy !req
1257. Hey, man. I just bought
that fucking car last week!
Copy !req
1258. Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm sorry!
I'm gonna fucking kill you!
Copy !req
1259. I just bought the fucking car last week!
Come on, man.
Copy !req
1260. I'll kill your
fucking car, man!
Copy !req
1261. No, no. Hey, hey,
that's not his! Hey!
Copy !req
1262. God damn it!
Whoa! Oh, no!
Copy !req
1263. Fuck you!
Man. No.
Copy !req
1264. You like that? Fuck you!
Copy !req
1265. - I'll kill your fucking car!
- No. No, no. No.
Copy !req
1266. I'll kill your fucking car!
Copy !req
1267. I accept your apology.
Copy !req
1268. No, I just want to handle it
by myself from now on.
Copy !req
1269. No. No. No!
Copy !req
1270. That has nothing
to do with it.
Copy !req
1271. Yes, the car made it home.
You're calling me at home.
Copy !req
1272. No, Walter, it did not look
like Larry was about to crack!
Copy !req
1273. Well, that's your perception.
Copy !req
1274. You know, Walter,
you're right.
Copy !req
1275. There is an unspoken
message here.
Copy !req
1276. It's, "Fuck you!
Leave me the fuck alone!"
Copy !req
1277. Yeah, I'll be at practice.
Copy !req
1278. Pin your diapers on,
Lebowski.
Copy !req
1279. Jackie Treehorn
wants to see you.
Copy !req
1280. Jackie Treehorn knows which
Lebowski you are, Lebowski.
Copy !req
1281. Jackie Treehorn wants to
see the deadbeat Lebowski.
Copy !req
1282. You're not dealing
with morons here.
Copy !req
1283. Hello, Dude.
Thanks for coming.
Copy !req
1284. I'm Jackie Treehorn.
Copy !req
1285. This is quite a pad
you got here, man.
Copy !req
1286. Completely unspoiled.
Copy !req
1287. What's your drink, Dude?
A White Russian. Thanks.
Copy !req
1288. White Russian.
Copy !req
1289. How's the smut business, Jackie?
I wouldn't know, Dude.
Copy !req
1290. I deal in publishing, entertainment,
political advocacy.
Copy !req
1291. Which one's Logjammin'?
Yes, regrettably, it's true.
Copy !req
1292. Standards have fallen
in adult entertainment.
Copy !req
1293. It's video, Dude.
Copy !req
1294. Now that we're competing
with those amateurs,
Copy !req
1295. we can't afford to invest
in little extras like story,
Copy !req
1296. production value, feelings.
Copy !req
1297. You know, people forget that the
brain is the biggest erogenous zone.
Copy !req
1298. On you maybe.
Copy !req
1299. Of course, you have to take
the good with the bad.
Copy !req
1300. New technology permits us
to do very exciting things
Copy !req
1301. in interactive
erotic software.
Copy !req
1302. Wave of the future, Dude.
100% electronic.
Copy !req
1303. Well, I still jerk off
manually.
Copy !req
1304. Of course you do. I can see you're
anxious for me to get to the point.
Copy !req
1305. Well, here it is, Dude.
Copy !req
1306. Where's Bunny?
Copy !req
1307. Well, I thought you might know that, man.
Why would I?
Copy !req
1308. She only ran off to get away from
that rather sizable debt to me.
Copy !req
1309. No, she didn't run off.
She's been. ..
Copy !req
1310. I heard that kidnapping story,
so save it.
Copy !req
1311. I know you're mixed up
in all this, Dude.
Copy !req
1312. And I don't care what you're
trying to get from the husband.
Copy !req
1313. That's your business.
Copy !req
1314. All I'm saying is I want mine.
Copy !req
1315. Yeah, right, man.
Copy !req
1316. I mean, there are a lot of
facets to this,
Copy !req
1317. a lot of interested parties.
Copy !req
1318. Excuse me.
Copy !req
1319. Yeah?
Copy !req
1320. Oh, yeah?
Copy !req
1321. Where is that?
Copy !req
1322. All right. Yeah.
Copy !req
1323. Excuse me.
Copy !req
1324. Forgive me.
No problemo, man.
Copy !req
1325. So, if I can find your money,
Copy !req
1326. what's in it for the Dude?
Copy !req
1327. Well, of course, there's that to discuss.
You want a refill?
Copy !req
1328. Yeah, does the pope shit in the woods?
10% finder's fee.
Copy !req
1329. That all right?
Okay. Done, Jackie.
Copy !req
1330. I dig the way
you do business, man.
Copy !req
1331. Your money is being held by
a kid named Larry Sellers.
Copy !req
1332. He lives in North Hollywood
on Radford,
Copy !req
1333. by the In-N-Out Burger.
Copy !req
1334. Fucking brat.
Copy !req
1335. But I'm sure your goons can get it off him.
I mean, he's 15.
Copy !req
1336. Flunking social studies.
Copy !req
1337. So, if you could just
Copy !req
1338. write me a check for
my 10% of half a million,
Copy !req
1339. 5 grand,
I'll go out and mingle.
Copy !req
1340. You mix a hell of
a Caucasian, Jackie.
Copy !req
1341. Fifteen-year-old kid.
Copy !req
1342. Is this some sort of a joke?
No. No joke.
Copy !req
1343. No funny stuff, Jackie.
The kid's got it.
Copy !req
1344. Hi, fellas.
Copy !req
1345. Kid just wanted a car.
Copy !req
1346. All the Dude ever wanted
was his rug back.
Copy !req
1347. Not greedy.
Copy !req
1348. It really
Copy !req
1349. tied the room together.
Copy !req
1350. Darkness washed
over the Dude.
Copy !req
1351. Darker than a black steer's tokus
on a moonless prairie night.
Copy !req
1352. There was no bottom.
Copy !req
1353. Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
Copy !req
1354. What condition
my condition was in
Copy !req
1355. I woke up this morning
with the sundown shining in
Copy !req
1356. I found my mind in
a brown paper bag within
Copy !req
1357. I tripped on a cloud
and fell-a eight miles high
Copy !req
1358. I tore my mind on a jagged sky
Copy !req
1359. I just dropped in
Copy !req
1360. To see what condition
my condition was in
Copy !req
1361. Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
Copy !req
1362. What condition
my condition was in
Copy !req
1363. I pushed my soul
in a deep, dark hole
Copy !req
1364. And then I followed it in
Copy !req
1365. I watched myself crawlin' out
Copy !req
1366. As I was a-crawlin' in
Copy !req
1367. I got up so tight
Copy !req
1368. I couldn't unwind
Copy !req
1369. I saw so much I broke my mind
Copy !req
1370. I just dropped in
Copy !req
1371. To see what condition
my condition was in
Copy !req
1372. Yeah, yeah, oh, yeah
Copy !req
1373. What condition
my condition was in
Copy !req
1374. Someone painted "April Fool"
Copy !req
1375. In big, black letters
on a "Dead End" sign
Copy !req
1376. I had my foot on the gas
as I left the road
Copy !req
1377. And blew out my mind
Copy !req
1378. Eight miles out of Memphis
and I got no spare
Copy !req
1379. Eight miles straight up
downtown somewhere
Copy !req
1380. I just dropped in
Copy !req
1381. To see what condition
my condition was in
Copy !req
1382. I said I just dropped in
Copy !req
1383. To see what condition
my condition was in
Copy !req
1384. Yeah, yeah
Copy !req
1385. Oh, yeah
Copy !req
1386. He was innocent
Copy !req
1387. Not a charge was true
Copy !req
1388. And they say
he ran away branded
Copy !req
1389. Is this your only ID?
Copy !req
1390. I know my rights, man.
Copy !req
1391. You don't know shit, Lebowski.
Copy !req
1392. I want a fucking lawyer,
man.
Copy !req
1393. I want Bill Kunstler, man,
Copy !req
1394. or Ron Kuby.
Copy !req
1395. Mr. Treehorn tells us
that he had to eject you
Copy !req
1396. from his garden party,
Copy !req
1397. that you were drunk
and abusive.
Copy !req
1398. Mr. Treehorn treats objects
like women, man.
Copy !req
1399. Mr. Treehorn draws
a lot of water in this town.
Copy !req
1400. You don't draw shit, Lebowski.
Copy !req
1401. Now, we got a nice quiet
little beach community here,
Copy !req
1402. and I aim to keep it
nice and quiet.
Copy !req
1403. So let me make
something plain.
Copy !req
1404. I don't like you sucking around
bothering our citizens, Lebowski.
Copy !req
1405. I don't like your
jerk-off name.
Copy !req
1406. I don't like your
jerk-off face.
Copy !req
1407. I don't like your
jerk-off behavior.
Copy !req
1408. And I don't like you,
jerk-off.
Copy !req
1409. Do I make myself clear?
Copy !req
1410. I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.
Copy !req
1411. Ow!
Copy !req
1412. Fucking fascist!
Copy !req
1413. Stay out of Malibu,
Lebowski.
Copy !req
1414. Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat!
Copy !req
1415. Keep your ugly, fucking, gold-bricking
ass out of my beach community.
Copy !req
1416. I want to sleep with you
Copy !req
1417. In the desert tonight
Copy !req
1418. With a billion stars
all around
Copy !req
1419. Jesus, man. Could you
change the channel?
Copy !req
1420. Fuck you, man!
If you don't like my fucking music,
Copy !req
1421. get your own fucking cab!
Copy !req
1422. I had a really rough. ..
Copy !req
1423. I'll pull off to the side
and kick your ass out.
Copy !req
1424. Man, come on. I had a rough night,
and I hate the fucking Eagles, man.
Copy !req
1425. Out of my fucking cab! Out!
Man!
Copy !req
1426. Man! Man! Hey!
Copy !req
1427. There's a thousand pretty
women waiting out there
Copy !req
1428. And they're all livin'
devil may care
Copy !req
1429. And I'm just the devil
with love to spare
Copy !req
1430. So viva Las Vegas
Copy !req
1431. Viva Las Vegas
Copy !req
1432. Oh, Jesus!
Copy !req
1433. Jeffrey.
Copy !req
1434. Maude?
Love me.
Copy !req
1435. That's my robe.
Copy !req
1436. Tell me about
yourself, Jeffrey.
Copy !req
1437. Well, not much to tell.
Copy !req
1438. I was one of the authors
of the Port Huron Statement.
Copy !req
1439. The original Port Huron Statement.
Uh-huh.
Copy !req
1440. Not the compromised
second draft.
Copy !req
1441. Then I. ..
Copy !req
1442. You ever hear of
the Seattle Seven?
Copy !req
1443. That was me.
Copy !req
1444. And there were
six other guys.
Copy !req
1445. And then the music business,
briefly.
Copy !req
1446. Oh?
Yeah.
Copy !req
1447. Roadie for Metallica.
Copy !req
1448. Oh.
Copy !req
1449. Speed of Sound tour.
Copy !req
1450. Mmm-hmm.
Copy !req
1451. Bunch of assholes.
Copy !req
1452. And then, you know, little
of this, little of that.
Copy !req
1453. My career's slowed down
a little lately.
Copy !req
1454. What do you do
for recreation?
Copy !req
1455. Well, the usual.
Copy !req
1456. Bowl, drive around,
Copy !req
1457. the occasional
acid flashback.
Copy !req
1458. What happened
to your house?
Copy !req
1459. Oh, Jackie Treehorn
trashed the place.
Copy !req
1460. He thought I had
your father's money.
Copy !req
1461. He got me out of the way
while he looked for it.
Copy !req
1462. Cocktail?
No, thanks.
Copy !req
1463. It's not my father's money.
It's the foundation's.
Copy !req
1464. Why did he think you have it?
Who does?
Copy !req
1465. Oh, Larry Sellers, this high school kid.
Real fucking brat.
Copy !req
1466. You know, this is a very
complicated case, Maude.
Copy !req
1467. A lot of ins, a lot of outs.
Copy !req
1468. You know, fortunately, I'm adhering
to a pretty strict, drug regimen
Copy !req
1469. to keep my mind,
you know, limber,
Copy !req
1470. and I'm very fucking close
to your father's money.
Copy !req
1471. I keep telling you, it's
the foundation's money.
Copy !req
1472. Father doesn't have any.
Copy !req
1473. What are you talking about?
He's fucking loaded.
Copy !req
1474. No, no. The wealth
is all Mother's.
Copy !req
1475. No, he runs stuff.
Copy !req
1476. We did let him run one
of the companies briefly,
Copy !req
1477. but he didn't do very well at it.
Oh, he's, you know. ..
Copy !req
1478. No, he helps administer
the charities now,
Copy !req
1479. and I give him
a reasonable allowance.
Copy !req
1480. He has no money of his own.
Copy !req
1481. I know how he likes
to present himself.
Copy !req
1482. Father's weakness is vanity,
hence the slut.
Copy !req
1483. Do you think he. ..
Copy !req
1484. What is that, yoga?
Copy !req
1485. It increases the chances
of conception.
Copy !req
1486. Increases. ..
Well, yes.
Copy !req
1487. What did you think this was all about?
Fun and games?
Copy !req
1488. I want a child.
Copy !req
1489. Okay, yeah, okay.
Copy !req
1490. But let me . . . Let me explain
something about the Dude.
Copy !req
1491. Look, Jeffrey,
I don't want a partner.
Copy !req
1492. In fact, I don't want the father to
be someone I have to see socially
Copy !req
1493. or who will have any interest
in raising the child himself.
Copy !req
1494. Oh. So, that doctor. ..
Exactly.
Copy !req
1495. Now, what happened
to your face?
Copy !req
1496. Did Jackie Treehorn
do that as well?
Copy !req
1497. No, it was the chief of police
of Malibu, a real reactionary.
Copy !req
1498. So, your father. ..
Copy !req
1499. Oh, yeah, I get it.
Yeah. Yeah. What?
Copy !req
1500. Oh, man. My thinking about this
case has become very uptight.
Copy !req
1501. Yeah.
Copy !req
1502. Your father.
Copy !req
1503. Jeffrey, what are
you talking about?
Copy !req
1504. Jeffrey!
Copy !req
1505. Walter, if you're there, pick
up the fucking phone, man.
Copy !req
1506. Come on, Walter.
Copy !req
1507. Pick it up, man.
This is an emergency. Dude? Dude?
Copy !req
1508. Yeah. Listen, Walter. I'm at my place.
I need you to come pick me up.
Copy !req
1509. I can't drive, Dude.
It's Erev shabbos. What?
Copy !req
1510. Erev shabbos.
What?
Copy !req
1511. Erev shabbos. I can't drive.
Man!
Copy !req
1512. I'm not even supposed to pick up the
phone unless it's an emergency.
Copy !req
1513. This is a fucking emergency!
I understand.
Copy !req
1514. That's why I picked up
the phone.
Copy !req
1515. Walter, you fuck.
We gotta go to Pasadena, man.
Copy !req
1516. Come pick me up or I'm off
the fucking bowling team.
Copy !req
1517. Get out of that
fucking car, man!
Copy !req
1518. Get out of that fucking car!
Copy !req
1519. Get the fuck
out of the car, man.
Copy !req
1520. Get out of the fucking. ..
Copy !req
1521. Who the fuck are you, man?
Easy, man!
Copy !req
1522. Relax, man.
Copy !req
1523. No physical harm intended.
Copy !req
1524. Who the fuck are you?
Why you following me around?
Copy !req
1525. Come on, fuckhead! Relax, man.
I'm a brother shamus.
Copy !req
1526. Brother Shamus?
Copy !req
1527. Like an Irish monk?
Copy !req
1528. What the fuck are
you talking about?
Copy !req
1529. My name is Da Fino.
I'm a private snoop, like you, man.
Copy !req
1530. What?
A dick, man.
Copy !req
1531. And let me tell you something,
I dig your work.
Copy !req
1532. Playing one side against the
other, in bed with everybody.
Copy !req
1533. Fabulous stuff, man.
I'm not. ..
Copy !req
1534. Fuck it, man. Just stay away
from my fucking lady friend.
Copy !req
1535. Hey, I'm not messing
with your special lady.
Copy !req
1536. She's not my special lady.
She's my fucking lady friend.
Copy !req
1537. I'm just helping her conceive, man!
Hey, man. I'm not. ..
Copy !req
1538. Who are you working for?
Lebowski?
Copy !req
1539. Jackie Treehorn?
Copy !req
1540. The Kneutsons.
Copy !req
1541. Who the fuck are
the Kneutsons?
Copy !req
1542. The Kneutsons, it's a
wandering daughter job.
Copy !req
1543. Bunny Lebowski, man.
Copy !req
1544. Her real name
is Fawn Kneutson.
Copy !req
1545. Her parents
want her back, see?
Copy !req
1546. Jesus fucking Christ.
Copy !req
1547. Crazy, huh?
Ran away about a year ago.
Copy !req
1548. The Kneutsons told me I should
show her this when I found her.
Copy !req
1549. It's the family farm.
It's outside Moorhead, Minnesota.
Copy !req
1550. They think it'll make her homesick.
Oh, boy.
Copy !req
1551. How are you gonna keep them
down on the farm
Copy !req
1552. once they've seen
Karl Hungus?
Copy !req
1553. She's been kidnapped, Da Fino.
Oh, man.
Copy !req
1554. Or I don't know.
Maybe not.
Copy !req
1555. But she's definitely
not around.
Copy !req
1556. Hey, maybe you and me
could pool our resources,
Copy !req
1557. trade information.
Copy !req
1558. Professional courtesy?
Copy !req
1559. Compeers.
You know what I mean?
Copy !req
1560. Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Fuck off, Da Fino.
Copy !req
1561. And stay away
from my special. ..
Copy !req
1562. From my fucking
lady friend, man!
Copy !req
1563. The lingonberry pancake.
Copy !req
1564. Lingonberry pancakes.
Copy !req
1565. Three pigs in blanket.
Copy !req
1566. She has
lingonberry pancakes.
Copy !req
1567. I mean, we totally fucked it up, man.
We fucked up his payoff.
Copy !req
1568. We got the kidnappers
all pissed off.
Copy !req
1569. And Lebowski, you know,
he yelled at me a lot,
Copy !req
1570. but he didn't do
anything, huh?
Copy !req
1571. Well, sometimes it's a cathartic.
No, no.
Copy !req
1572. I'm saying that
if he knows I'm a fuckup,
Copy !req
1573. why does he leave me in charge
of getting his wife back?
Copy !req
1574. Because he doesn't
fucking want her back, man.
Copy !req
1575. He's had enough. He no longer digs her.
it's all a show.
Copy !req
1576. Okay, but then why doesn't he give
a shit about his million bucks?
Copy !req
1577. I mean, he knows we never
handed off his briefcase,
Copy !req
1578. but he never asked
for it back.
Copy !req
1579. The million bucks
was never in the briefcase.
Copy !req
1580. The briefcase was
fucking empty, man.
Copy !req
1581. The asshole was hoping
that they would kill her.
Copy !req
1582. You threw out a ringer
for a ringer.
Copy !req
1583. Okay, but how does all this
add up to an emergency?
Copy !req
1584. I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude.
He kept the money.
Copy !req
1585. My point is. ..
Copy !req
1586. Here we are, it's shabbos,
the Sabbath,
Copy !req
1587. which I'm allowed to break only if
it's a matter of life or death.
Copy !req
1588. Will you come off it, Walter?
You're not even fucking Jewish, man.
Copy !req
1589. What the fuck are
you talking about?
Copy !req
1590. Man, you're fucking
Polish Catholic!
Copy !req
1591. What the fuck
are you talking about?
Copy !req
1592. I converted when I married Cynthia.
Come on, Dude.
Copy !req
1593. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know this.
Copy !req
1594. And five fucking years ago,
you were divorced.
Copy !req
1595. So what are you saying?
When you get divorced,
Copy !req
1596. you turn in your library card?
You get a new license?
Copy !req
1597. You stop being Jewish?
This is the driveway.
Copy !req
1598. Jewish as fucking Tevye.
Man.
Copy !req
1599. You know, it's all a part
of your sick Cynthia thing.
Copy !req
1600. Man, taking care of her fucking dog,
going to her fucking synagogue.
Copy !req
1601. You're living in
the fucking past.
Copy !req
1602. Three thousand years of beautiful
tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax.
Copy !req
1603. You're goddamn right I'm
living in the fucking past!
Copy !req
1604. I've . . . Jesus.
Copy !req
1605. What the hell happened?
Copy !req
1606. So viva Las Vegas
Copy !req
1607. Viva Las Vegas
Copy !req
1608. Let's go. Fuck it.
Copy !req
1609. Where was she, man?
Copy !req
1610. Visiting friends of hers
in Palm Springs.
Copy !req
1611. She just picked up and left,
never bothered to tell us.
Copy !req
1612. Well, I guess the fucking
nihilists knew where she was.
Copy !req
1613. Jesus, Dude. She never
even kidnapped herself.
Copy !req
1614. Who is this gentleman, Dude?
Who am I? I'm a fucking veteran.
Copy !req
1615. Come on!
That's who I am.
Copy !req
1616. You shouldn't go in there, Dude.
He's very angry.
Copy !req
1617. So, man.
Copy !req
1618. So? She's back,
no thanks to you.
Copy !req
1619. Where's the fucking money,
Lebowski?
Copy !req
1620. A million bucks from fucking,
needy, little Urban Achievers!
Copy !req
1621. You are scum, man!
Copy !req
1622. Who the hell is he?
Who am I? Who am I?
Copy !req
1623. Walter. I'm the guy that's
gonna kick your phony,
Copy !req
1624. gold-bricking ass, that's who I am.
Man.
Copy !req
1625. We know the briefcase
was fucking empty.
Copy !req
1626. We know you kept the million
bucks for yourself.
Copy !req
1627. You have your story,
I have mine.
Copy !req
1628. I say I entrusted the money
to you and you stole it.
Copy !req
1629. As if we would ever dream of
taking your bullshit money!
Copy !req
1630. You thought that Bunny
had been kidnapped,
Copy !req
1631. and you were
fucking glad, man.
Copy !req
1632. You could use it as an excuse
to make some money disappear.
Copy !req
1633. All you needed was a sap to pin it on.
You just met me.
Copy !req
1634. You . . . You human paraquat.
Copy !req
1635. You figured, "Oh, here's a
loser, you know, a deadbeat.
Copy !req
1636. "Somebody this square community
won't give a shit about."
Copy !req
1637. Well, aren't you?
Copy !req
1638. Well, yeah, but. ..
Get out, both of you.
Copy !req
1639. Look at that fucking phony, Dude,
pretending to be a fucking millionaire.
Copy !req
1640. Out of this house now,
you bums!
Copy !req
1641. Let me tell you
something else.
Copy !req
1642. I've seen a lot of spinals,
Dude, and this guy's a fake.
Copy !req
1643. A fucking gold-bricker.
Stay away from me, mister!
Copy !req
1644. This guy fucking walks.
Copy !req
1645. I've never been more certain
of anything in my life.
Copy !req
1646. You stay away from me!
Copy !req
1647. Walter, for Christ's sake,
man! He's a cripple.
Copy !req
1648. I said! Get away from me!
Come on. Come on.
Copy !req
1649. Yeah, I'll put him down, Dude.
Walk! Achtung, baby!
Copy !req
1650. Come on, man. Help me
put him back in his chair.
Copy !req
1651. At least they had the
fucking decency to tell us
Copy !req
1652. that we were fighting
the communists.
Copy !req
1653. Whereas this whole fucking thing,
this whole fucking thing
Copy !req
1654. is nothing about nothing,
about oil,
Copy !req
1655. which is what I personally
hear, Dude.
Copy !req
1656. Sure you'll see
some tank battles,
Copy !req
1657. but fighting in desert is very different
from fighting in canopy jungle.
Copy !req
1658. I mean, Nam was a foot soldier's
war, whereas this thing should. ..
Copy !req
1659. You know, should be
a piece of cake.
Copy !req
1660. I mean, I had an M1 6, Jacko,
not an Abrams fucking tank.
Copy !req
1661. Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball.
Yeah.
Copy !req
1662. That's fucking combat.
Copy !req
1663. The man in the black
pajamas, Dude.
Copy !req
1664. Worthy fucking adversary.
Copy !req
1665. Who's in pajamas, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.
Copy !req
1666. Whereas what we have here,
Copy !req
1667. a bunch of fig eaters wearing
towels on their head,
Copy !req
1668. trying to find reverse
on a Soviet tank.
Copy !req
1669. This is not a worthy
fucking adversary. Hey!
Copy !req
1670. What's this
day-of-rest shit?
Copy !req
1671. What's this bullshit?
Copy !req
1672. I don't fucking care!
It don't matter to Jesus.
Copy !req
1673. But you not fooling me,
man.
Copy !req
1674. You might fool the fucks
in the league office
Copy !req
1675. but you don't fool Jesus.
Copy !req
1676. It's Bush league
psych-out stuff.
Copy !req
1677. Laughable, man!
Copy !req
1678. I would've fucked you
in the ass Saturday.
Copy !req
1679. I'll fuck you in the ass
next Wednesday instead.
Copy !req
1680. You got a date
Wednesday, baby!
Copy !req
1681. He's cracking.
Copy !req
1682. . . . the whole concept of age.
Copy !req
1683. I mean, many learned men
have disputed this
Copy !req
1684. but in the 14th century,
the Rambam. ..
Copy !req
1685. Well, they finally
did it.
Copy !req
1686. They killed
my fucking car.
Copy !req
1687. We want the money,
Lebowski.
Copy !req
1688. Ja. Otherwise,
we kill the girl.
Copy !req
1689. Ja. It seems you have forgotten
our little deal, Lebowski.
Copy !req
1690. You don't have the
fucking girl, dipshit.
Copy !req
1691. We know you never did.
Copy !req
1692. Are these the Nazis,
Walter?
Copy !req
1693. No, Donny.
These men are nihilists.
Copy !req
1694. There's nothing
to be afraid of.
Copy !req
1695. We don't care.
Copy !req
1696. We still want the money,
Lebowski, or we fuck you up.
Copy !req
1697. Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
Cool it, Walter.
Copy !req
1698. No. Without a hostage,
there is no ransom.
Copy !req
1699. That's what ransom is.
Those are the fucking rules.
Copy !req
1700. His girlfriend
gave up her toe.
Copy !req
1701. She thought we could
get $1 million.
Copy !req
1702. It's not fair.
Fair?
Copy !req
1703. Who's the fucking nihilists around
here, you bunch of fucking crybabies?
Copy !req
1704. Cool it, Walter.
Hey, look, pal.
Copy !req
1705. There never
was any money.
Copy !req
1706. The big Lebowski gave me
an empty briefcase,
Copy !req
1707. so take it up with him, man.
Copy !req
1708. And I would like
my undies back.
Copy !req
1709. Are these guys gonna
hurt us, Walter?
Copy !req
1710. No, Donny.
These men are cowards.
Copy !req
1711. Okay!
Copy !req
1712. So we takes the money you have
on you, and we calls it even.
Copy !req
1713. Fuck you.
Hey, no. Come on, Walter.
Copy !req
1714. Come on, we're ending
this thing cheap, man.
Copy !req
1715. No. What's mine is mine.
No, come on, Walter.
Copy !req
1716. No funny stuff.
All right. All right.
Copy !req
1717. No funny stuff.
I got 4 bucks, almost 5.
Copy !req
1718. - I got $18.
- What's mine is mine.
Copy !req
1719. We fuck you up, man!
We takes the money!
Copy !req
1720. Come and get it.
Copy !req
1721. We fuck you up!
Show me what you got, nihilists.
Copy !req
1722. I fuck you! Walter, come on.
He's got a sword.
Copy !req
1723. Fucking dipshit with
a nine-toed woman!
Copy !req
1724. I fuck you! Fuck you!
I fuck you!
Copy !req
1725. Take it easy, man.
I fuck you!
Copy !req
1726. Take the $4.
I fuck you!
Copy !req
1727. I fuck you!
Copy !req
1728. I'm gonna hit you with
the fucking ball, man.
Copy !req
1729. Hey, dickhead!
Anti-Semite.
Copy !req
1730. I fuck you in the ass!
I fuck you in the ass!
Copy !req
1731. I fuck you! I fuck you!
Copy !req
1732. We got a man down, Dude!
Copy !req
1733. Oh, God. They shot him, man.
Copy !req
1734. He's not shot. No, Dude.
Are you shot, Donny?
Copy !req
1735. There weren't any shots fired.
Huh?
Copy !req
1736. It's a heart attack.
Call the medics, Dude.
Copy !req
1737. I'd go myself, but I'm pumping
blood, might pass out.
Copy !req
1738. Rest easy, good buddy.
You're doing fine.
Copy !req
1739. We got help choppering in.
Copy !req
1740. Hello, gentlemen.
Copy !req
1741. You are the bereaved?
Yeah, man.
Copy !req
1742. Francis Donnelly,
pleased to meet you.
Copy !req
1743. Jeff Lebowski.
Walter Sobchak.
Copy !req
1744. The Dude actually is. ..
Copy !req
1745. Excuse me?
Oh, nothing.
Copy !req
1746. Yes. I understand you're
taking away the remains?
Copy !req
1747. Yeah.
Copy !req
1748. We have the urn.
Copy !req
1749. I assume this is credit card?
Copy !req
1750. Yeah.
Copy !req
1751. What's this?
Copy !req
1752. Now, that's for the urn.
Copy !req
1753. Don't need it.
We're scattering the ashes.
Copy !req
1754. Yes. So we were informed.
Copy !req
1755. However, we must, of course,
transmit the remains to you
Copy !req
1756. in a receptacle.
Copy !req
1757. That's $180.
Copy !req
1758. It is our most modestly
priced receptacle.
Copy !req
1759. Well, can't we just. ..
$180?
Copy !req
1760. They range up to $3,000.
Copy !req
1761. We're. .. Can't we just
rent it from you, you know?
Copy !req
1762. Sir, this is a mortuary
not a rental house.
Copy !req
1763. We're scattering the fucking ashes!
Walter, Walter.
Copy !req
1764. Just because we're bereaved
doesn't make us saps.
Copy !req
1765. Sir, please lower
your voices.
Copy !req
1766. Man, don't you have, you know,
something else we can put him in?
Copy !req
1767. You know?
Copy !req
1768. That is our most modestly
priced receptacle.
Copy !req
1769. God damn it!
Copy !req
1770. Is there a Ralph's
around here?
Copy !req
1771. Donny was a good bowler
and a good man.
Copy !req
1772. He was one of us.
Copy !req
1773. He was a man who loved
the outdoors and bowling.
Copy !req
1774. And as a surfer he explored the
beaches of Southern California
Copy !req
1775. from La Jolla to Leo Carrillo
Copy !req
1776. and up to Pismo.
Copy !req
1777. He died. ..
Copy !req
1778. He died as so many young men of
his generation, before his time.
Copy !req
1779. In your wisdom, Lord,
you took him,
Copy !req
1780. as you took so many bright,
flowering young men
Copy !req
1781. at Khe Sanh, at Lan Doc,
Copy !req
1782. at Hill 364.
Copy !req
1783. These young men
gave their lives,
Copy !req
1784. and so did Donny.
Copy !req
1785. Donny, who loved bowling.
Copy !req
1786. And so,
Copy !req
1787. Theodore Donald Kerabatsos,
Copy !req
1788. in accordance with what we think your
dying wishes might well have been,
Copy !req
1789. we commit your final
mortal remains
Copy !req
1790. to the bosom of
the Pacific Ocean
Copy !req
1791. which you loved so well.
Copy !req
1792. Good night, sweet prince.
Copy !req
1793. Shit.
Copy !req
1794. Oh, shit, Dude. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1795. Goddamn wind.
Fuck, god damn it, Walter!
Copy !req
1796. You fucking asshole!
Shit, Dude. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1797. Everything's a fucking
travesty with you, man!
Copy !req
1798. I'm sorry.
It was an accident.
Copy !req
1799. What was that shit about Vietnam?
Dude, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1800. What the fuck does anything
have to do with Vietnam?
Copy !req
1801. Dude, I'm sorry.
What the fuck are you talking about?
Copy !req
1802. Dude, I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1803. Fucking. ..
Copy !req
1804. Fuck, Walter.
Copy !req
1805. Come on, Dude.
Copy !req
1806. Hey, fuck it, man.
Copy !req
1807. Let's go bowling.
Copy !req
1808. And when you're sittin' there
Copy !req
1809. In your silk upholstered chair
Copy !req
1810. Talkin' to some rich folks
that you know
Copy !req
1811. Well, I hope you don't see me
Copy !req
1812. In my ragged company
Copy !req
1813. Oh, but you know
I could never be alone
Copy !req
1814. Two oat sodas, Gary.
Right. Good luck tomorrow.
Copy !req
1815. Yeah, thanks, man.
I was sorry to hear about Donny.
Copy !req
1816. Oh, yeah. Well, you know,
Copy !req
1817. sometimes you eat the bear,
and sometimes, you know. ..
Copy !req
1818. Hey, man.
Copy !req
1819. How do you do, Dude?
I wondered if I'd see you again.
Copy !req
1820. I wouldn't miss
the semis.
Copy !req
1821. Oh, yeah?
How's things been going?
Copy !req
1822. Well, you know, strikes and
gutters, ups and downs.
Copy !req
1823. Sure. I got you.
Yeah.
Copy !req
1824. Thanks, Gary.
Copy !req
1825. Well, take care, man.
Gotta get back.
Copy !req
1826. Sure. Take it easy, Dude.
Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
1827. I know that you will.
Copy !req
1828. Yeah. Well,
the Dude abides.
Copy !req
1829. Walter.
Copy !req
1830. The Dude abides.
Copy !req
1831. I don't know about you,
but I take comfort in that.
Copy !req
1832. It's good knowing
he's out there,
Copy !req
1833. the Dude, taking her easy
for all us sinners.
Copy !req
1834. I sure hope
he makes the finals.
Copy !req
1835. Well, that about does her.
Copy !req
1836. Wraps her all up.
Copy !req
1837. Things seem to have worked out
pretty good for the Dude and Walter.
Copy !req
1838. And it was a pretty good
story, don't you think?
Copy !req
1839. Made me laugh
to beat the band.
Copy !req
1840. Parts anyway.
Copy !req
1841. I didn't like seeing Donny go.
Copy !req
1842. But then I happen to know that there's
a little Lebowski on the way.
Copy !req
1843. I guess that's the way the whole
darned human comedy keeps
Copy !req
1844. perpetuating itself
Copy !req
1845. down through the generations.
Copy !req
1846. Westward the wagons, across the
sands of time until we. ..
Copy !req
1847. Oh, look at me.
I'm rambling again.
Copy !req
1848. Well, I hope you folks
enjoyed yourselves.
Copy !req
1849. Catch you later on
down the trail.
Copy !req
1850. Say, friend, you got any more
of that good sarsaparilla?
Copy !req
1851. Take me down, little Susie
Copy !req
1852. Take me down
Copy !req
1853. I know you think
you're the queen
Copy !req
1854. Of the underground
Copy !req
1855. Send me dead flowers
every morning
Copy !req
1856. Send me dead flowers
by the mail
Copy !req
1857. Send me dead flowers
to my wedding
Copy !req
1858. And I won't forget to put
roses on your grave
Copy !req
1859. No, I won't forget
to put roses
Copy !req
1860. On your grave
Copy !req
1861. Bright light city
gonna set my soul
Copy !req
1862. Gonna set my soul on fire
Copy !req
1863. Got a whole lot of money
that's ready to burn
Copy !req
1864. So get those stakes up higher
Copy !req
1865. There's a thousand pretty
women livin' out there
Copy !req
1866. They're all livin'
devil may care
Copy !req
1867. And I'm just a devil
with love to spare
Copy !req
1868. So viva Las Vegas
Copy !req
1869. Viva Las Vegas
Copy !req
1870. Viva Las Vegas
with your neon flashing
Copy !req
1871. And your one-arm
bandits crashing
Copy !req
1872. All those hopes down the drain
Copy !req
1873. Viva Las Vegas turnin'
day into nighttime
Copy !req
1874. Night into daytime
Copy !req
1875. If you see it once
Copy !req
1876. You'll never be the same again
Copy !req
1877. I'm gonna keep on
keep on runnin'
Copy !req
1878. if it costs me
my very last dime
Copy !req
1879. If I wind up broke
Copy !req
1880. Well, I'll always remember
Copy !req
1881. That I had a swingin' time
Copy !req
1882. I'm gonna give it
everything I've got
Copy !req
1883. Lady Luck, please
let the dice stay hot
Copy !req
1884. Let me shoot a seven
on every shot
Copy !req
1885. So viva Las Vegas
Copy !req
1886. Viva Las Vegas
Copy !req
1887. Viva
Copy !req
1888. Las Vegas
Copy !req
1889. Viva
Copy !req