1. See them tumbling downCopy !req
2. Pledging their love
to the groundCopy !req
3. Way out West
there was this fella.Copy !req
4. Fella I wanna tell you about.Copy !req
5. Fella by the name
of Jeff Lebowski.Copy !req
6. Least that was the handle that
his loving parents gave him.Copy !req
7. But he never had
much use for it himself.Copy !req
8. This Lebowski,
he called himself the Dude.Copy !req
9. Now Dude,Copy !req
10. that's a name no one would
self-apply where I come from.Copy !req
11. But then there was a lot about the Dude that
didn't make a whole lot of sense to me,Copy !req
12. and a lot about
where he lived likewise.Copy !req
13. Drifting along with
the tumbling tumbleweedsCopy !req
14. But then again,Copy !req
15. maybe that's why I found the
place so darned interesting.Copy !req
16. I know when night has goneCopy !req
17. That a new world's
born at dawnCopy !req
18. They call Los
Angeles the City of Angels.Copy !req
19. I didn't find it to be that,
exactly.Copy !req
20. But I'll allow there are
some nice folks there.Copy !req
21. Course, I can't say
I seen London,Copy !req
22. and I never been to France,Copy !req
23. and I ain't never seen no queen in her
damned undies, as the fella says.Copy !req
24. But I'll tell you what,Copy !req
25. after seeing Los Angeles and this
here story I'm about to unfold,Copy !req
26. well, I guess
I've seen somethingCopy !req
27. every bit as stupefying as you can
see in any of those other places,Copy !req
28. and in English, too.Copy !req
29. So I can die with
a smile on my faceCopy !req
30. without feeling like
the good Lord gypped me.Copy !req
31. Now, this here story
I'm about to unfoldCopy !req
32. took place back
in the early '90s,Copy !req
33. just about the time of our conflict
with Saddam and the Iraqis.Copy !req
34. I only mention it 'cause
sometimes there's a man...Copy !req
35. I won't say a hero.Copy !req
36. 'Cause what's a hero?Copy !req
37. But sometimes there's a man...Copy !req
38. And I'm talking about
the Dude here.Copy !req
39. Sometimes there's a man...Copy !req
40. Well, he's the man
for his time and place.Copy !req
41. He fits right in there.Copy !req
42. And that's the Dude
in Los Angeles.Copy !req
43. And even if he is a lazy man,Copy !req
44. and the Dude was
most certainly that,Copy !req
45. quite possibly the laziest
in Los Angeles county,Copy !req
46. which would place him high in the
running for laziest worldwide.Copy !req
47. But sometimes there's a man...Copy !req
48. Sometimes there's a man...Copy !req
49. Well, I lost my train
of thought here.Copy !req
50. But...Copy !req
51. Hell, I done introduced him
enough.Copy !req
52. with them all
for a collective action.Copy !req
53. This will not stand.Copy !req
54. This will not stand, this
aggression against Kuwait.Copy !req
55. Here on the range I belongCopy !req
56. Drifting alongCopy !req
57. With the tumblingCopy !req
58. TumbleweedsCopy !req
59. Where's the money,
Lebowski?Copy !req
60. I want that money,
Lebowski.Copy !req
61. Bunny says you're
good for it.Copy !req
62. Where's the money,
Lebowski?Copy !req
63. Where's the money,
Lebowski?Copy !req
64. Where's the fucking money,
shithead?Copy !req
65. It's down there somewhere.
Let me take another look.Copy !req
66. Don't fuck with us.Copy !req
67. Your wife owes money
to Jackie Treehorn,Copy !req
68. that means you owe money
to Jackie Treehorn.Copy !req
69. Ever thus to deadbeats,
Lebowski.Copy !req
70. No, don't do...Copy !req
71. Not on the rug, man.
See?Copy !req
72. See what happens, Lebowski?
You see what happens?Copy !req
73. Nobody calls me Lebowski.
You got the wrong guy.Copy !req
74. I'm the Dude, man.Copy !req
75. Your name's Lebowski,
Lebowski.Copy !req
76. Your wife is Bunny.Copy !req
77. My wife? Bunny?Copy !req
78. Do you see a wedding ring
on my finger?Copy !req
79. Does this place look like
I'm fucking married?Copy !req
80. The toilet seat's up, man!Copy !req
81. What the fuck is this?Copy !req
82. Obviously you're
not a golfer.Copy !req
83. Woo?
Yeah.Copy !req
84. Isn't this guy supposed
to be a millionaire?Copy !req
85. Fuck.Copy !req
86. Yeah. What do you think?Copy !req
87. He looks like
a fucking loser.Copy !req
88. Hey, at least I'm housebroken.Copy !req
89. Fucking time-waster.Copy !req
90. Thanks a lot,
asshole.Copy !req
91. La-Ia-la, la-Ia-la, la-la-laCopy !req
92. La-la-la, la, la, la, laCopy !req
93. La-Ia-la, Ia, Ia, la-Ia la-IaCopy !req
94. La, Ia, la-IaCopy !req
95. La-Ia-IaCopy !req
96. La-Ia-la, la-la-laCopy !req
97. La-la, la-IaCopy !req
98. The man in me will doCopy !req
99. Nearly any taskCopy !req
100. And as for compensationCopy !req
101. There's little he would askCopy !req
102. Take a woman like youCopy !req
103. To get throughCopy !req
104. To the man in meCopy !req
105. Storm clouds are ragingCopy !req
106. All around my doorCopy !req
107. I think to myselfCopy !req
108. I might not take it anymoreCopy !req
109. Take a woman like your kindCopy !req
110. To find the man in meCopy !req
111. But, OhCopy !req
112. What a wonderful feelingCopy !req
113. Just to know that you are nearCopy !req
114. Sets my heart a-reelingCopy !req
115. From my toesCopy !req
116. Up to my earsCopy !req
117. The man in me will
hide sometimesCopy !req
118. To keep from being seenCopy !req
119. But that's just because
he doesn't wantCopy !req
120. To turn into some machineCopy !req
121. Take a woman like youCopy !req
122. To get throughCopy !req
123. To the man in meCopy !req
124. I'm throwing rocks tonight.
Mark it, Dude.Copy !req
125. I'm telling you, this
was a valued rug. This was a...Copy !req
126. Yeah, man. It really
tied the room together.Copy !req
127. This was
a valued...Copy !req
128. What tied the room together, Dude?
My rug.Copy !req
129. Were you listening to the
Dude's story, Donny?Copy !req
130. What?
Walter.Copy !req
131. Were you listening to the Dude's story?
I was bowling.Copy !req
132. So you have no frame of
reference here, Donny.Copy !req
133. You're like a child who wanders into the
middle of a movie and wants to know...Copy !req
134. Walter, what's the point, man? There's
no reason, here's my point, Dude.Copy !req
135. There's no fucking reason
why these two...Copy !req
136. Yeah, Walter,
what's your point?Copy !req
137. Walter, what is the...Copy !req
138. Look, we all know
who is at fault here.Copy !req
139. What the fuck are you
talking about? Huh?Copy !req
140. No, what the fuck
are you... I'm not...Copy !req
141. We're talking about unchecked
aggression here, Dude.Copy !req
142. What the fuck is he talking about?
My rug.Copy !req
143. Forget it, Donny! You're
out of your element!Copy !req
144. Walter, the Chinaman
who peed on my rug,Copy !req
145. I can't go
give him a bill!Copy !req
146. So what the fuck
are you talking about?Copy !req
147. What the fuck are
you talking about?Copy !req
148. The Chinaman is not
the issue here, Dude!Copy !req
149. I'm talking about drawing
a line in the sand, Dude.Copy !req
150. Across this line
you do not...Copy !req
151. Also, Dude, "Chinaman" is not
the preferred nomenclature.Copy !req
152. Asian-American,
please.Copy !req
153. Walter, this isn't a guy who built the
rail roads here. This is a guy...Copy !req
154. What the fuck
are you...Copy !req
155. Walter, he peed on my rug!
He peed on the Dude's rug.Copy !req
156. Donny, you're out
of your element.Copy !req
157. Dude, the Chinaman
is not the issue here.Copy !req
158. So, who...
Jeff Lebowski.Copy !req
159. The other Jeffrey Lebowski.
The millionaire.Copy !req
160. That's fucking interesting, man.
That's fucking interesting.Copy !req
161. Plus, he has the wealth,
obviously, and the resources,Copy !req
162. so that there's no reason,
there's no fucking reasonCopy !req
163. why his wife should go out
and owe money all over town,Copy !req
164. and then they come and they
pee on your fucking rug!Copy !req
165. Am I wrong?
No.Copy !req
166. Am I wrong?
Yeah, but...Copy !req
167. Okay then.Copy !req
168. That rug really tied the
room together, did it not?Copy !req
169. Fucking A.
And this guy peed on it.Copy !req
170. Donny, please.Copy !req
171. You know, this is
the fucking guy...Copy !req
172. I could find this
fucking Lebowski guy.Copy !req
173. His name is Lebowski?
That's your name, Dude.Copy !req
174. This is the guy who should
compensate me for the fucking rug.Copy !req
175. His wife goes out and owes money all
over town, and they pee on my rug?Copy !req
176. They pee on
your fucking rug?Copy !req
177. Peed on my fucking rug.
That's right, Dude.Copy !req
178. They peed on
your fucking rug.Copy !req
179. This is the study.Copy !req
180. As you can see, the various
commendations, awards...Copy !req
181. "Jeffrey Lebowski." ... citations,
honorary degrees, et cetera.Copy !req
182. Very impressive. Oh, please
feel free to inspect them.Copy !req
183. Oh. No, I'm not really...
Oh, please. Please.Copy !req
184. That is the key to
the city of Pasadena,Copy !req
185. which Mr. Lebowski received two years ago
in recognition of his various civic...Copy !req
186. Oh! That's the Los Angeles Chamber
of Commerce Business Achiever Award,Copy !req
187. which is given... Oh, not
necessarily given every year.Copy !req
188. Hey, is this...Copy !req
189. Given only when there's
a worthy somebody...Copy !req
190. Is this him with Nancy?Copy !req
191. Yes, indeed, that is Mr. Lebowski
with the first lady, yes.Copy !req
192. It was taken
when Mrs. Reagan...Copy !req
193. That's Lebowski
on the left there?Copy !req
194. Of course. Mr. Lebowski, on the left...
So he's a...Copy !req
195. You know, a handicapped
kind of guy?Copy !req
196. Mr. Lebowski is
disabled, yes.Copy !req
197. This picture was taken when Mrs. Reagan
was first lady of the nation.Copy !req
198. Yes, yes.Copy !req
199. Not of California.
Good shot.Copy !req
200. In fact, he met privately
with the President,Copy !req
201. though, unfortunately, there wasn't
enough time for a photo opportunity.Copy !req
202. Oh, Nancy's pretty good.
Oh, wonderful woman.Copy !req
203. We were very happy to...
These are...Copy !req
204. Oh, those are Mr. Lebowski's
children, so to speak.Copy !req
205. Different mothers, huh?Copy !req
206. No, they're not... Racially,
he's pretty cool?Copy !req
207. They're not literally
his children.Copy !req
208. They're the Little Lebowski
Urban Achievers,Copy !req
209. inner city children of promise, but
without the necessary means for...Copy !req
210. Necessary means for
a higher education,Copy !req
211. so Mr. Lebowski is committed to
sending all of them to college.Copy !req
212. Excuse me.
Oh, geez.Copy !req
213. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
214. Far out. Think he's got room
for one more? One... Oh.Copy !req
215. You never went to college.Copy !req
216. Please, don't touch that. Oh, yeah, yeah.
No, I did,Copy !req
217. but, you know,
I spent most of my timeCopy !req
218. occupying various
administration buildings,Copy !req
219. smoking a lot
of Thai stick,Copy !req
220. breaking into
the ROTC and bowling.Copy !req
221. Tell you the truth, Brandt,
I don't remember most of it.Copy !req
222. Okay, sir. You're a
Lebowski, I'm a Lebowski.Copy !req
223. That's terrific.Copy !req
224. But I am very busy,
as I imagine you are.Copy !req
225. What can I do for you, sir?Copy !req
226. Well, sir,
it's this rug I have.Copy !req
227. It really tied
the room together.Copy !req
228. You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.Copy !req
229. Where do I fit in?Copy !req
230. Well, they were looking
for you, these two guys.Copy !req
231. You know, they...
I'll say it again.Copy !req
232. You told Brandt on the phone.
He told me.Copy !req
233. I know what happened.
Yes, yes.Copy !req
234. Oh, so you know that they were
trying to piss on your rug.Copy !req
235. Did I urinate on your rug?Copy !req
236. You mean, did you personally
come and pee on my rug?Copy !req
237. Hello! Do you speak
English, sir?Copy !req
238. G, Parla usted inglés?Copy !req
239. I'll ask you again.
Did I urinate on your rug?Copy !req
240. No. Like I said,
Woo peed on my rug.Copy !req
241. I just want to
understand this, sir.Copy !req
242. Every time a rug is micturated
upon in this fair city,Copy !req
243. I have to compensate
the person?Copy !req
244. Come on, man. I'm not trying
to scam anybody here.Copy !req
245. You know, I'm just...Copy !req
246. You're just looking for
a handout like every other...Copy !req
247. Are you employed,
Mr. Lebowski?Copy !req
248. Wait. Let me explain
something to you.Copy !req
249. I am not Mr. Lebowski.Copy !req
250. You're Mr. Lebowski.
I'm the Dude.Copy !req
251. So that's what you call me.
You know?Copy !req
252. That or His Dudeness,Copy !req
253. or Duder or, you know,Copy !req
254. El Duderino, if you're not
into the whole brevity thing.Copy !req
255. Are you employed, sir?Copy !req
256. Employed?Copy !req
257. You don't go out looking for a job
dressed like that, do you? On a weekday?Copy !req
258. Is this a...Copy !req
259. What day is this?
Well, I do work, sir.Copy !req
260. So, if you don't mind... No, I do mind.
The Dude minds.Copy !req
261. This will not stand, you know.Copy !req
262. This aggression
will not stand, man.Copy !req
263. I mean,
your wife owes money...Copy !req
264. My wife is not
the issue here!Copy !req
265. I hope that someday my wife will
learn to live on her allowance,Copy !req
266. which is ample.Copy !req
267. But if she does not, that
is her problem, not mine,Copy !req
268. just as the rug
is your problem.Copy !req
269. Just as every bum's lot in life
is his own responsibility,Copy !req
270. regardless of who
he chooses to blame.Copy !req
271. I didn't blame anyone
for the loss of my legs.Copy !req
272. Some Chinaman took them
from me in Korea.Copy !req
273. But I went out
and achieved anyway.Copy !req
274. I cannot solve your problems, sir.
Only you can.Copy !req
275. Well, fuck it.
Oh, fuck it.Copy !req
276. Yes, that's your answer. That's
your answer to everything.Copy !req
277. Tattoo it on your forehead!Copy !req
278. Your revolution is over,
Mr. Lebowski!Copy !req
279. Condolences! The bums lost!Copy !req
280. My advice to you is to do
what your parents did!Copy !req
281. Get a job, sir!Copy !req
282. The bums will
always lose!Copy !req
283. Do you hear me,
Lebowski?Copy !req
284. The bums will
always lose.Copy !req
285. How was your meeting,
Mr. Lebowski?Copy !req
286. Okay.Copy !req
287. The old man told me to take
any rug in the house.Copy !req
288. Well, enjoy.Copy !req
289. And perhaps we'll see you
again sometime, Dude.Copy !req
290. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
291. If I'm in the neighborhood,
you know,Copy !req
292. and I need to use the john.Copy !req
293. Blow on them.
Huh?Copy !req
294. Go ahead. Blow.Copy !req
295. You want me to blow
on your toes?Copy !req
296. Uh-huh.Copy !req
297. I can't blow that far.Copy !req
298. Are you sure he won't mind?Copy !req
299. Uli doesn't care about anything.
He's a nihilist.Copy !req
300. Oh, that must be exhausting.Copy !req
301. You're not blowing.Copy !req
302. Our guest has to be getting
along, Mrs. Lebowski.Copy !req
303. Oh!Copy !req
304. You're Bunny.Copy !req
305. I'll suck your cock
for $1,000.Copy !req
306. Wonderful woman.Copy !req
307. We're all very fond of her.
Very free-spirited.Copy !req
308. Brandt can't watch though,
or he has to pay $100.Copy !req
309. That's marvelous.Copy !req
310. I'm just gonna go
find a cash machine.Copy !req
311. I'm slamming them tonight!Copy !req
312. You guys are dead
in the water.Copy !req
313. All right!
Way to go, Donny!Copy !req
314. "if you
will it, it is no dream."Copy !req
315. Fucking 20 minutes late, man.
What the fuck is that?Copy !req
316. Theodore Herzl.
Huh?Copy !req
317. State of Israel. If you will
it, Dude, it is no dream.Copy !req
318. What the fuck are you
talking about, man?Copy !req
319. The carrier. What's in the
fucking carrier? Huh?Copy !req
320. Oh! Cynthia's dog.
Think it's a Pomeranian.Copy !req
321. Can't leave him home alone
or he eats the furniture.Copy !req
322. I'm watching it while Cynthia and
Marty Ackerman are in Hawaii.Copy !req
323. You brought a fucking
Pomeranian bowling?Copy !req
324. What do you mean,
brought it bowling?Copy !req
325. I didn't rent it shoes. I'm
not buying it a fucking beer.Copy !req
326. He's not taking your
fucking turn, Dude.Copy !req
327. Man, if my fucking ex-wife asked
me to take care of her fucking dogCopy !req
328. while she and her boyfriend
went to Honolulu,Copy !req
329. I'd tell her to go fuck herself.
Why can't she board it?Copy !req
330. First of all, Dude,
you don't have an ex.Copy !req
331. Secondly, this is a fucking
show dog with fucking papers.Copy !req
332. You can't board it. It gets upset.
Its hair falls out.Copy !req
333. Walter... Fucking dog
has fucking papers.Copy !req
334. Over the line!
Huh?Copy !req
335. I'm sorry, Smokey. You were over the line.
That's a foul.Copy !req
336. Bullshit. Mark it eight, Dude.Copy !req
337. Excuse me. Mark it zero.
Next frame.Copy !req
338. Bullshit, Walter.
Mark it eight, Dude.Copy !req
339. Smokey, this is not Nam. This is bowling.
There are rules.Copy !req
340. Hey, Walter, come on.
Hey, man, it's Smokey.Copy !req
341. So his toe slipped over
a little, you know.Copy !req
342. It's just a game, man.
This is a league game.Copy !req
343. This determines who enters
the next round robin.Copy !req
344. Am I wrong?
Yeah, but I wasn't...Copy !req
345. Am I wrong?
Yeah, but I wasn't over.Copy !req
346. Give me the marker, Dude.
I'm marking an eight.Copy !req
347. Smokey, my friend,Copy !req
348. you're entering a world of pain.
Walter, man.Copy !req
349. You mark that frame an eight,
you're entering a world of pain.Copy !req
350. I'm not...
A world of pain.Copy !req
351. Look, Dude,
this is your partner.Copy !req
352. Has the whole world
gone crazy?Copy !req
353. Am I the only one around here who
gives a shit about the rules?Copy !req
354. Mark it zero!Copy !req
355. They're calling the cops, man.
Put the piece away.Copy !req
356. Mark it zero! Walter,
put the piece away.Copy !req
357. Walter. You think I'm
fucking around here?Copy !req
358. Mark it zero!Copy !req
359. All right. It's fucking zero.Copy !req
360. You happy,
you crazy fuck?Copy !req
361. It's a league game,
Smokey.Copy !req
362. You can't do that, man.Copy !req
363. These guys, you know, they're
like me, they're pacifists.Copy !req
364. Smokey was a
conscientious objector.Copy !req
365. You know, Dude, I myself dabbled
in pacifism at one point.Copy !req
366. Not in Nam, of course.Copy !req
367. And you know he's got
emotional problems, man.Copy !req
368. You mean, beyond pacifism?Copy !req
369. He's fragile.
He's very fragile.Copy !req
370. I did not know that.Copy !req
371. Well, it's all water
under the bridge.Copy !req
372. And we do enter
the next round robin.Copy !req
373. Am I wrong?
No, you're not wrong.Copy !req
374. Am I wrong?
You're not wrong, Walter.Copy !req
375. You're just an asshole.Copy !req
376. Okay then.Copy !req
377. Play Quintana and
O'Brien next week.Copy !req
378. They should be pushovers.Copy !req
379. Man, would you just...Copy !req
380. Just take it easy, man.Copy !req
381. You know, that's your answer
for everything, Dude.Copy !req
382. Let me point out something.
Pacifism is not...Copy !req
383. Look at our current situation
with that camel fucker in Iraq.Copy !req
384. Pacifism is not something
to hide behind.Copy !req
385. Just take it easy, man.Copy !req
386. I'm perfectly calm, Dude.Copy !req
387. Yeah, waving the fucking gun around?
Calmer than you are.Copy !req
388. Will you just take it easy?Copy !req
389. Calmer than you are.Copy !req
390. Dude, this is Smokey.Copy !req
391. Look, I don't wanna be
a hard-on about this,Copy !req
392. and I know
it wasn't your fault,Copy !req
393. but I just thought
it was fair to tell youCopy !req
394. that Gilbert and I will be
submitting this to the leagueCopy !req
395. and asking them
to set aside the round.Copy !req
396. I don't know,
maybe forfeit it to us.Copy !req
397. So, like I say, just thought,
you know, fair warning.Copy !req
398. Tell Walter.Copy !req
399. I'm sorry.Copy !req
400. Mr. Lebowski,
this is Brandt at...Copy !req
401. Well, at Mr. Lebowski's
office.Copy !req
402. Please call us
as soon as it's convenient.Copy !req
403. Mr. Lebowski,
this is Mel ZelnickerCopy !req
404. of the Southern Cal
Bowling League.Copy !req
405. I just got an informal report that a
member of your team, a Walter Sobchak,Copy !req
406. drew a firearm
during league play.Copy !req
407. If this is true, of course,Copy !req
408. it contravenes a number of
the league's bylawsCopy !req
409. and also article 27
of the league...Copy !req
410. Dude.
Hey, Marty.Copy !req
411. Dude, I finally got...Copy !req
412. I got the venue I wanted.Copy !req
413. I'm performing my dance
quintet, you know, my cycle,Copy !req
414. at Crane Jackson's Fountain
Street Theater on Tuesday night.Copy !req
415. And, Well, I'd love it if
you came and gave me notes.Copy !req
416. I'll be there, man.Copy !req
417. Dude, tomorrow's
already the tenth.Copy !req
418. Far out.Copy !req
419. Oh. Oh, all right. Okay.Copy !req
420. Just slip the rent
under my door.Copy !req
421. serious
infraction and examine your standing.Copy !req
422. Thank you.Copy !req
423. Mr. Lebowski, Brandt again.Copy !req
424. Please do call us as soon as you
get in and I'll send the limo.Copy !req
425. I hope you're not avoiding
this call because of the rug,Copy !req
426. which I assure you
is not a problem.Copy !req
427. We need your help, and...Copy !req
428. Well, we would very much like to see you.
Thank you. It's Brandt.Copy !req
429. We've had some
terrible news.Copy !req
430. Mr. Lebowski's in seclusion
in the west wing.Copy !req
431. Mr. Lebowski.Copy !req
432. Funny.Copy !req
433. I can look back on
a life of achievement,Copy !req
434. challenges met,Copy !req
435. competitors bested,Copy !req
436. obstacles overcome.Copy !req
437. I've accomplished
more than most menCopy !req
438. and without
the use of my legs.Copy !req
439. What makes a man,
Mr. Lebowski?Copy !req
440. Dude.
Huh?Copy !req
441. Oh, I don't know, sir.Copy !req
442. Is it being prepared
to do the right thing,Copy !req
443. whatever the cost?Copy !req
444. Isn't that what
makes a man?Copy !req
445. Sure, that and
a pair of testicles.Copy !req
446. You're joking,Copy !req
447. but perhaps you're right.Copy !req
448. You mind if I do a Jay?Copy !req
449. Bunny.Copy !req
450. Excuse me?Copy !req
451. Bunny Lebowski.Copy !req
452. She is the light of my life.Copy !req
453. Are you surprised
at my tears, sir?Copy !req
454. Oh, fucking A.Copy !req
455. Strong men also cry.Copy !req
456. Strong men also cry.Copy !req
457. I received
this fax this morning.Copy !req
458. As you can see,
it is a ransom note.Copy !req
459. "We have Bunny."Copy !req
460. Written by men who were unable to
achieve on a level field of play.Copy !req
461. "Gather $1 million..."Copy !req
462. Cowards! In unmarked,
nonconsecutive 20s. "Copy !req
463. Weaklings!
"A wait instructions."Copy !req
464. Bums!
"No funny stuff."Copy !req
465. Bummer.
Huh?Copy !req
466. This is a bummer, man.
That's... That's a bummer.Copy !req
467. Brandt will fill you in
on the details.Copy !req
468. Mr. Lebowski is prepared to make a
generous offer to you to act as courierCopy !req
469. once we get instructions
for the money.Copy !req
470. Why me, man?Copy !req
471. He believes the culprits might be
the very people who soiled your rugCopy !req
472. and you are in a unique position to
confirm or disconfirm that suspicion.Copy !req
473. He thinks the carpet pissers
did this?Copy !req
474. Well, Dude,
we just don't know.Copy !req
475. Welcome to the
Hotel CaliforniaCopy !req
476. Such a lovely placeCopy !req
477. Fucking Quintana.Copy !req
478. That creep can roll, man.Copy !req
479. Yeah, but he's a pervert, Dude.
Yeah.Copy !req
480. No, he's a sex offender
with a record.Copy !req
481. He did six months in Chino for
exposing himself to an eight-year-old.Copy !req
482. When he moved to Hollywood,
he had to go door-to-doorCopy !req
483. to tell everyone
he was a pederast.Copy !req
484. What's a pederast, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.Copy !req
485. So, how much
did he give you?Copy !req
486. 20 grand, man. And, of course,
I still get to keep the rug.Copy !req
487. Just for making a hand-off?
Yeah.Copy !req
488. They gave Dude a beeper.Copy !req
489. So whenever these guys call...
What if it's during a game?Copy !req
490. Oh, I told them if it was
during league play...Copy !req
491. What's during
league play?Copy !req
492. Life does not stop and
start at your convenience,Copy !req
493. you miserable
piece of shit.Copy !req
494. I figure... What's wrong
with Walter, Dude?Copy !req
495. I figure it's easy money, you know.
It's all pretty harmless.Copy !req
496. She probably
kidnapped herself.Copy !req
497. What do you mean, Dude?
Rug-peers did not do this.Copy !req
498. Look at it. A young trophy wife
marries this guy for his money.Copy !req
499. She figures he isn't giving
her enough, you know.Copy !req
500. She owes money
all over town.Copy !req
501. That fucking bitch!Copy !req
502. It's all a goddamn
fake, man.Copy !req
503. It's like Lenin said,Copy !req
504. you look for the person who
will benefit and, you know...Copy !req
505. I Am the Walrus?
You know, you'll...Copy !req
506. You know what I'm trying to say.
I Am the Walrus.Copy !req
507. That fucking bitch!
Oh, yeah!Copy !req
508. I Am the Walrus.
That's...Copy !req
509. Shut the fuck up,
Donny!Copy !req
510. V.I. Lenin, Vladimir
llyich Ulyanov!Copy !req
511. What the fuck is
he talking about?Copy !req
512. Fucking exactly what
happened to those...Copy !req
513. That makes me
fucking sick!Copy !req
514. Well, what do you care, Walter?
Those rich fucks.Copy !req
515. This whole fucking thing.Copy !req
516. I did not watch my buddies
die face down in the muckCopy !req
517. so that this
fucking strumpet,Copy !req
518. this fucking whore,
could waltz around...Copy !req
519. I don't see any connection
with Vietnam, man.Copy !req
520. Well, there isn't a
literal connection, Dude.Copy !req
521. No, Walter, face it,
there isn't any connection.Copy !req
522. Your roll.
Have it your way.Copy !req
523. Your roll.
But my point is...Copy !req
524. My point is... Are
you ready to be fucked, man?Copy !req
525. I see you rolled your way
into the semis.Copy !req
526. Dios mio, man.Copy !req
527. Liam and me,
we're gonna fuck you up.Copy !req
528. Yeah? Well, you know, that's
just like your opinion, man.Copy !req
529. Let me tell you
something, pendejo.Copy !req
530. You pull any of your
crazy shit with us,Copy !req
531. you flash a piece out
on the lanes,Copy !req
532. I'll take it away from you
and stick it up your assCopy !req
533. and pull the fucking trigger
till it goes click.Copy !req
534. Jesus.Copy !req
535. You said it, man.Copy !req
536. Nobody fucks with the Jesus.Copy !req
537. Eight-year-olds, Dude.Copy !req
538. La-Ia-la, la-Ia-la, la-la-laCopy !req
539. La-la-la, la, la, la, laCopy !req
540. La-la-la, la, la, la, laCopy !req
541. La-la-la, la, la, la, laCopy !req
542. La-la, la-IaCopy !req
543. La-Ia-IaCopy !req
544. La-Ia-la, la-la-laCopy !req
545. La-la, la-IaCopy !req
546. The man in me will doCopy !req
547. Nearly any taskCopy !req
548. And as for compensationCopy !req
549. There's little he would askCopy !req
550. Take a woman like youCopy !req
551. To get throughCopy !req
552. To the man in meCopy !req
553. Storm clouds are ragingCopy !req
554. All around my doorCopy !req
555. I think to myselfCopy !req
556. I might not take it anymoreCopy !req
557. Take a woman like your kindCopy !req
558. To find the man in meCopy !req
559. But, OhCopy !req
560. What a wonderful feelingCopy !req
561. Just to knowCopy !req
562. That you are nearCopy !req
563. Sets my heart a-reelingCopy !req
564. From my toesCopy !req
565. Up to my earsCopy !req
566. The man in me
will hide sometimesCopy !req
567. They called
about 80 minutes ago.Copy !req
568. They want you to take the
money, drive north on the 405.Copy !req
569. They will call you
on the portable phoneCopy !req
570. with instructions
in about 40 minutes.Copy !req
571. One person only.Copy !req
572. They were very clear on that, or
I'd go with you. One person only.Copy !req
573. What happened to your jaw?
Oh, nothing, man.Copy !req
574. Here's the money.Copy !req
575. And the phone.Copy !req
576. Please, Dude, follow whatever
instructions they give.Copy !req
577. All right.
Her life is in your hands.Copy !req
578. Man, don't say that.Copy !req
579. Mr. Lebowski asked me to repeat
that, her life is in your hands.Copy !req
580. Oh, shit, man.Copy !req
581. Her life is in
your hands, Dude.Copy !req
582. Report back to us
as soon as it's done.Copy !req
583. Where the fuck are you going, man?
Take the ringer, I'll drive.Copy !req
584. The what?
The ringer.Copy !req
585. The ringer, Dude.Copy !req
586. What the...
Have they called yet?Copy !req
587. What the hell is this?Copy !req
588. My dirty undies, Dude.
The laundry. The whites.Copy !req
589. Walter, I'm sure there's a reason
you brought your dirty undies, man.Copy !req
590. That's right, Dude.
The weight.Copy !req
591. The ringer cannot look empty.Copy !req
592. Walter, what the fuck
are you thinking, man?Copy !req
593. You're right, Dude.
I got to thinking.Copy !req
594. I got to thinking, why should we settle
for a measly fucking 20 grand...Copy !req
595. We? What the fuck, "we"? You said
you just wanted to come along.Copy !req
596. My point, Dude, is why should
we settle for 20 grandCopy !req
597. when we can keep the entire million?
Am I wrong?Copy !req
598. Yes, you're wrong. This
isn't a fucking game, man.Copy !req
599. Oh, but it is a game.
You said so yourself.Copy !req
600. She kidnapped herself.
I said I thought...Copy !req
601. Dude, here.(WITH
GERMAN ACCENT) Who is this?Copy !req
602. Dude. The bagman, man.
Where do you want us to go?Copy !req
603. Us?Copy !req
604. Shit!Copy !req
605. Yeah, you know,
me and the driver.Copy !req
606. I'm not handling the money, driving the
car and talking on the phone all by my...Copy !req
607. Shut the fuck up!Copy !req
608. Dude, are you fucking this up?
Who is that?Copy !req
609. That is the driver.
I told you...Copy !req
610. Oh, shit!
What the fuck's going on?Copy !req
611. Walter...
What the fuck is going on?Copy !req
612. He hung up, man. You fucked it up.
You fucked it up!Copy !req
613. Her life was in our hands, man.
Easy, Dude.Copy !req
614. We're screwed now. We don't get shit.
They're gonna kill her.Copy !req
615. We're fucked, Walter.
Nothing is fucked, Dude.Copy !req
616. Come on.
You're being very un-Dude.Copy !req
617. They'll call back.
Look, she kidnapped...Copy !req
618. You see? Nothing's
fucked here, Dude.Copy !req
619. Nothing is fucked. They're a
bunch of fucking amateurs.Copy !req
620. Walter, will you just
shut the fuck up?Copy !req
621. Don't say peep while
I'm doing business here, man.Copy !req
622. Okay, Dude.
Have it your way.Copy !req
623. But they're amateurs.
Fuck.Copy !req
624. Dude.Copy !req
625. Okay, we proceed but only
if there is no funny stuff.Copy !req
626. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
627. So no funny stuff. Okay?Copy !req
628. Just tell me where the fuck
you want us to go.Copy !req
629. That was the sign, man.Copy !req
630. So, all we gotta do
is get her back.Copy !req
631. No one's in a position
to complain.Copy !req
632. We keep the baksheesh.
Yeah, terrific, Walter.Copy !req
633. But you haven't told me how we're
gonna get her back. Where is she?Copy !req
634. That's the simple part, Dude.Copy !req
635. We make the hand-off, I grab one of
them and beat it out of him. Huh?Copy !req
636. That's a great plan, Walter.Copy !req
637. That's fucking ingenious,
if I understand it correctly.Copy !req
638. It's a Swiss fucking watch.Copy !req
639. That's right, Dude. The beauty
of this is its simplicity.Copy !req
640. Once a plan gets too complex,
everything can go wrong.Copy !req
641. If there's one thing
I learned in Nam...Copy !req
642. Dude.Copy !req
643. You are coming
to wooden bridge.Copy !req
644. When you cross the bridge,Copy !req
645. you throw the bag from the
left window of the moving car.Copy !req
646. You're being watched.Copy !req
647. Fuck. What'd he say?
Where's the hand-off?Copy !req
648. There is no fucking
hand-off, man.Copy !req
649. At the wooden bridge we throw
the money out of the car.Copy !req
650. We throw the money
out of the moving car.Copy !req
651. We can't do that, Dude.
That fucks up our plan.Copy !req
652. Well, call them up and
explain it to them, Walter.Copy !req
653. Your plan is so
fucking simple,Copy !req
654. I'm sure they'll
fucking understand it.Copy !req
655. That's the beauty of it.Copy !req
656. Wooden bridge, huh?
Throw them the money, Walter.Copy !req
657. We're not fucking around, man.Copy !req
658. Okay, Dude, the bridge is coming up.
Give me the ringer, chop-chop.Copy !req
659. Fuck that.
Walter, I love you,Copy !req
660. but sooner or later you're gonna have to
face the fact you're a goddamn moron.Copy !req
661. Okay, Dude. No time to argue.
Hey, man!Copy !req
662. Here's the bridge.
Hey, Walter! Hey, Walter!Copy !req
663. Hey, Walter!
Here goes the ringer!Copy !req
664. What the fuck?
Okay, Dude, you're wheel.Copy !req
665. Hey, man, what the fuck?
At 15 mph, I roll out.Copy !req
666. I double back, grab one of
them and beat it out of him.Copy !req
667. The Uzi.
Uzi.Copy !req
668. You didn't think I was rolling
out of here naked, did you?Copy !req
669. Walter, please! Fifteen, Dude! This is it!
Let's take that hill!Copy !req
670. Walter!Copy !req
671. We have it!Copy !req
672. We have it!Copy !req
673. We have it!Copy !req
674. Fuck it, Dude.Copy !req
675. Let's go bowling.Copy !req
676. Aitz chaim he, Dude,
as the ex used to say.Copy !req
677. What the fuck is that
supposed to mean?Copy !req
678. What the fuck are we
gonna tell Lebowski?Copy !req
679. Oh, him.Copy !req
680. I don't know. What
exactly is the problem?Copy !req
681. The problem is...Copy !req
682. What do you mean,
what's the...Copy !req
683. There was no...Copy !req
684. We didn't...Copy !req
685. They're gonna kill
that poor woman, man!Copy !req
686. What the fuck
are you talking about?Copy !req
687. The poor woman, that poor
slut kidnapped herself.Copy !req
688. Come on, Dude.
You said so yourself.Copy !req
689. Man, I said I thought
she kidnapped herself.Copy !req
690. You're the one who's
so fucking certain.Copy !req
691. That's right, Dude.
100% certain.Copy !req
692. They posted the next round
for the tournament.Copy !req
693. Donny, shut the fuck...Copy !req
694. When do we play?
This Saturday. Quintana and...Copy !req
695. Saturday? Well, they'll
have to reschedule.Copy !req
696. Walter, what am I
gonna tell Lebowski?Copy !req
697. I told that fuck down at the league office.
Who's in charge of scheduling?Copy !req
698. Walter!
Burkhalter.Copy !req
699. I told that kraut a fucking thousand
times, I don't roll on shabbos!Copy !req
700. Walter!
They already posted it.Copy !req
701. Well, they can
fucking un-post it!Copy !req
702. Who gives a shit? They're gonna
kill that poor woman, man!Copy !req
703. What am I gonna tell Lebowski?
Come on, Dude.Copy !req
704. Eventually she'll get tired of her little
game and, you know, wander on back.Copy !req
705. How come you don't roll
on Saturday, Walter?Copy !req
706. I'm shomer shabbos.Copy !req
707. What's that, Walter? Yeah,
and in the meantime,Copy !req
708. what do I tell Lebowski?Copy !req
709. Saturday, Donny, is shabbos,
the Jewish day of rest.Copy !req
710. That means I don't work,
I don't drive a car,Copy !req
711. I don't fucking
ride in a car,Copy !req
712. I don't handle money,
I don't turn on the ovenCopy !req
713. and I sure as shit
don't fucking roll!Copy !req
714. Sheesh.Copy !req
715. Shomer shabbos!Copy !req
716. Walter, how am I gonna...
Shomer fucking shabbos!Copy !req
717. Oh, fuck! That's it. I'm out of here.
Oh, come on, Dude.Copy !req
718. Dude! Dude!Copy !req
719. You just tell him...Copy !req
720. Tell him we made the drop and
everything went, you know...Copy !req
721. Oh, yeah.
How'd it go?Copy !req
722. Went all right. Dude's car
got a little dinged up.Copy !req
723. Walter, we didn't make
the fucking hand-off, man!Copy !req
724. They didn't get
the fucking money!Copy !req
725. And they're gonna...
They're gonna...Copy !req
726. They're gonna kill
that poor woman.Copy !req
727. They're gonna kill
that poor woman!Copy !req
728. Walter, if you can't
ride in a car,Copy !req
729. then how do you get
around on shabbos?Copy !req
730. Really, Dude,
you surprise me.Copy !req
731. They're not gonna
kill shit.Copy !req
732. They're not gonna do shit.Copy !req
733. What can they do to her?
Bunch of fucking amateurs.Copy !req
734. And meanwhile,
look at the bottom line.Copy !req
735. Who's sitting on a million
fucking dollars?Copy !req
736. Am I wrong?
Walter.Copy !req
737. Who's got a fucking million fucking
dollars sitting in the trunk of our car?Copy !req
738. Our car, Walter? And what do they got?
My dirty undies.Copy !req
739. My fucking whites!Copy !req
740. Say. Dude?Copy !req
741. Where is your car?Copy !req
742. Who's got your undies, Walter?
Where's your car, Dude?Copy !req
743. You don't know,
Walter?Copy !req
744. It was parked in a handicap zone.
Perhaps they towed it.Copy !req
745. You fucking
know it's been stolen.Copy !req
746. Well, certainly that's
a possibility, Dude.Copy !req
747. Oh, fuck it.Copy !req
748. Where you going, Dude?
I'm going home, Donny.Copy !req
749. Phone's ringing, Dude.
Thank you, Donny!Copy !req
750. Yeah.Copy !req
751. Green with some brown,
rust coloration.Copy !req
752. And was there anything
of value in the car?Copy !req
753. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
754. A tape deck, some Creedence
tapes, and there was a...Copy !req
755. My briefcase.Copy !req
756. In the briefcase?Copy !req
757. Papers.Copy !req
758. Just papers.Copy !req
759. You know, my papers,
business papers.Copy !req
760. And what do you do, sir?
I'm unemployed.Copy !req
761. My rug was also stolen.Copy !req
762. Your rug was in the car?Copy !req
763. No. Here.Copy !req
764. Separate incidents.Copy !req
765. The Dude is not in.Copy !req
766. Do you find them much,
these stolen cars?Copy !req
767. Sometimes.Copy !req
768. Wouldn't hold out much hope
for the tape deck though.Copy !req
769. Or the Creedence.Copy !req
770. What about the briefcase?Copy !req
771. Mr. Lebowski,
I'd like to see you.Copy !req
772. Call when you get home
and I'll send a car for you.Copy !req
773. My name is Maude Lebowski.
I'm the one who took your rug.Copy !req
774. Well, guess we can close
the file on that one.Copy !req
775. I'll be with you in
a moment, Mr. Lebowski.Copy !req
776. Does the female form make you
uncomfortable, Mr. Lebowski?Copy !req
777. Is that what this is a picture of?
In a sense, yes.Copy !req
778. My art has been commended
as being strongly vaginal,Copy !req
779. which bothers some men.Copy !req
780. The word itself makes
some men uncomfortable.Copy !req
781. Vagina.
Oh, yeah?Copy !req
782. Yes, they don't like hearing it
and find it difficult to say,Copy !req
783. whereas without
batting an eye,Copy !req
784. a man will refer to his dick,
or his rod or his johnson.Copy !req
785. "Johnson"?Copy !req
786. All right, Mr. Lebowski,
let's get down to cases.Copy !req
787. My father told me he agreed
to let you have the rug,Copy !req
788. but as it was a gift from me to my
late mother, it was not his to give.Copy !req
789. Now, your face.Copy !req
790. As for this kidnapping.Copy !req
791. Huh?Copy !req
792. Yes, I know all about it, and I
know that you acted as courier.Copy !req
793. Let me tell you something. The
whole thing stinks to high heaven.Copy !req
794. Yeah, right, but let me explain
something about the rug.Copy !req
795. Do you like sex,
Mr. Lebowski?Copy !req
796. Excuse me? Sex, the physical
act of love. Coitus.Copy !req
797. Do you like it? I was
talking about my rug.Copy !req
798. You're not interested in sex?Copy !req
799. You mean coitus?
I like it, too.Copy !req
800. It's a male myth about
feminists that we hate sex.Copy !req
801. It can be a natural,
zesty enterprise.Copy !req
802. However, there are
some people,Copy !req
803. it is called satyriasis in
men, nymphomania in women,Copy !req
804. who engage in it compulsively
and without joy.Copy !req
805. Oh, no.
Oh, yes, Mr. Lebowski.Copy !req
806. These unfortunate souls cannot love,
in the true sense of the word.Copy !req
807. Our mutual acquaintance,
Bunny, is one of these.Copy !req
808. Listen, Maude,Copy !req
809. I'm sorry if your stepmother
is a nympho,Copy !req
810. but, you know, I don't see
what this has to do with...Copy !req
811. You have any Kahlua?
Take a look at this, sir.Copy !req
812. Oh, I know that guy.Copy !req
813. He's a nihilist.Copy !req
814. "Karl Hungus."Copy !req
815. Hi.
Hello.Copy !req
816. Mein dispatcher says there is
something wrong with dein Kabel.Copy !req
817. Yeah. Come on in.Copy !req
818. I'm not really sure exactly what's
really wrong with the cable.Copy !req
819. That's why they sent me.
I am an expert.Copy !req
820. The TV's in here.Copy !req
821. You recognize her, of course.
Helga, bring my tools.Copy !req
822. That's my friend Sherry.Copy !req
823. She just came over
to use the shower.Copy !req
824. The story is ludicrous.Copy !req
825. My name is Karl.
lch bin expert.Copy !req
826. You must be here
to fix the cable.Copy !req
827. Lord, you can imagine
where it goes from here.Copy !req
828. He fixes the cable?Copy !req
829. Don't be fatuous, Jeffrey.Copy !req
830. Little matter to me that this woman chose
to pursue a career in pornography,Copy !req
831. nor that she has been
banging Jackie Treehorn,Copy !req
832. to use the parlance
of our times.Copy !req
833. However, I am one of the two
trustees of the Lebowski Foundation,Copy !req
834. the other being my father.Copy !req
835. The foundation takes
youngsters from Watts and...Copy !req
836. Shit, yeah. The achievers.Copy !req
837. Little Lebowski Urban Achievers, yes,
and proud we are of all of them.Copy !req
838. I asked my father about his withdrawal of
$1 million from the foundation account,Copy !req
839. and he told me
about this abduction,Copy !req
840. but I tell you
it is preposterous.Copy !req
841. This compulsive fornicator is taking
my father for the proverbial ride.Copy !req
842. Yeah, but my...
I'm getting to your rug.Copy !req
843. My father and I
don't get along.Copy !req
844. He doesn't approve
of my lifestyle and,Copy !req
845. needless to say,
I don't approve of his.Copy !req
846. However, I hardly wish to make my
father's embezzlement a police matter.Copy !req
847. So I'm proposing that you
try to recover the moneyCopy !req
848. from the people
you delivered it to.Copy !req
849. Well, I could do that.Copy !req
850. If you successfully do so,Copy !req
851. I will compensate you to the tune
of 10% of the recovered sum.Copy !req
852. A hundred...
Thousand. Yes.Copy !req
853. Bones or clams or
whatever you call them.Copy !req
854. Yeah, but what about my...
Your rug, yes.Copy !req
855. Well, with that money you
can buy any number of rugsCopy !req
856. that don't have sentimental
value for me.Copy !req
857. And I am sorry about
that crack on the jaw.Copy !req
858. Oh, that's fine.
That doesn't even...Copy !req
859. Here's the name and number of a
doctor who will look at it for you.Copy !req
860. You will receive no bill.Copy !req
861. He's a good man
and thorough.Copy !req
862. That's thoughtful but...Copy !req
863. Please see him, Jeffrey.
He's a good man and thorough.Copy !req
864. Oh, well, all right.Copy !req
865. So he says, "My wife's
a pain in the ass.Copy !req
866. "She's always busting
my frigging agates.Copy !req
867. "My daughter's married
to a loser bastard.Copy !req
868. "I got a rash so bad on my
ass I can't even sit down.Copy !req
869. "But you know me,
I can't complain."Copy !req
870. I got a rash, man. Fucking A.Copy !req
871. I gotta tell you, Tone, man,Copy !req
872. earlier today I was really
feeling shitty, man.Copy !req
873. Really down in the dumps.Copy !req
874. Lost a little money...Copy !req
875. Hey, you know what? Forget about it, huh?
Forget about it.Copy !req
876. Yeah, fuck it, man.Copy !req
877. You can't be worried about that shit.
Life goes on, man.Copy !req
878. Well, home, sweet home,
Mr. I.Copy !req
879. Hey, yo. Come here.Copy !req
880. Who's your friend in
the Volkswagen? Huh?Copy !req
881. Yeah.
He followed us here.Copy !req
882. When did he start...
Whoa! What the fuck?Copy !req
883. Get in the limo, you son of a bitch!
No arguments!Copy !req
884. Hey! Hey! Careful, man!
There's a beverage here!Copy !req
885. Start talking, and talk
fast, you lousy bum.Copy !req
886. We've been frantically
trying to reach you, Dude.Copy !req
887. Where is my goddamn money,
you bum?Copy !req
888. Well, we... I don't...Copy !req
889. They did not receive
the money, you nitwit!Copy !req
890. They did not
receive the money!Copy !req
891. Her life was
in your hands!Copy !req
892. This is our concern, Dude.Copy !req
893. No, man.
Nothing is fucked here.Copy !req
894. Nothing is fucked?
No, man.Copy !req
895. The goddamn plane has
crashed into the mountain!Copy !req
896. Man, come on. Who are you gonna
believe, those guys or...Copy !req
897. We dropped off the damn money.Copy !req
898. We?Copy !req
899. I, the royal we.Copy !req
900. You know. The editorial...Copy !req
901. I dropped off the money
exactly as per...Copy !req
902. Look, man, I've got certain information.
All right?Copy !req
903. Certain things have
come to light and...Copy !req
904. You know, has it ever
occurred to youCopy !req
905. that instead of, you know,
running around, blaming me...Copy !req
906. You know, given the nature
of all this new shit,Copy !req
907. you know, this could be
a lot more complex...Copy !req
908. I mean, it's not just... It might not
be just such a simple... You know?Copy !req
909. What in God's holy name
are you blathering about?Copy !req
910. Well, I'll tell you what
I'm blathering about.Copy !req
911. I've got information, man.Copy !req
912. New shit has come to light.Copy !req
913. And, shit, man,Copy !req
914. she kidnapped herself.Copy !req
915. Well, sure, man.
Look at it. You know?Copy !req
916. A young trophy wife, in the
parlance of our times, you know.Copy !req
917. She owes money all over town,
including to known pornographers.Copy !req
918. And that's cool.
That's cool.Copy !req
919. I'm saying she
needs money, man.Copy !req
920. And, you know, of course they're
gonna say they didn't get itCopy !req
921. because she wants more, man.Copy !req
922. She's gotta feed the monkey.
I mean...Copy !req
923. Hasn't that ever
occurred to you, man?Copy !req
924. Sir?Copy !req
925. No, Mr. Lebowski, it had
not occurred to me.Copy !req
926. That had not
occurred to us, Dude.Copy !req
927. Well, okay, you know?Copy !req
928. You guys aren't privy to all
the new shit, so, you know...Copy !req
929. But, hey, that's what you...
That's what you pay me for.Copy !req
930. Speaking of which,Copy !req
931. do you think that you could
give me my $20,000 in cash?Copy !req
932. My concern is, and I've gotta
check it with my accountant,Copy !req
933. that this might bump me up
into a higher tax...Copy !req
934. Brandt, give him
the envelope.Copy !req
935. Oh, well, if you've already got
the check made out, that's cool.Copy !req
936. We received this
this morning.Copy !req
937. Since you have
failed to achieve,Copy !req
938. even in the modest task
which was your charge,Copy !req
939. since you have
stolen my money,Copy !req
940. since you have unrepentantly
betrayed my trust,Copy !req
941. I have no choice
but to tell these bumsCopy !req
942. to do whatever is necessaryCopy !req
943. to recover their money
from you, Jeffrey Lebowski.Copy !req
944. And with Brandt as my witness,
I will tell you this,Copy !req
945. any further harm
visited upon BunnyCopy !req
946. will be visited tenfold
upon your head.Copy !req
947. By God, sir,Copy !req
948. I will not abide another toe.Copy !req
949. I hear the cottonwoods
whispering aboveCopy !req
950. That wasn't her toe, Dude.Copy !req
951. Whose toe was it, Walter?
How the fuck should I know?Copy !req
952. I do know that nothing about it indicates...
The nail polish, Walter.Copy !req
953. Fine, Dude.Copy !req
954. As if it's impossible to get some nail
polish, apply it to someone else's toe...Copy !req
955. Someone else...
Pinking shears.Copy !req
956. Where the fuck are
they gonna get...Copy !req
957. You want a toe?
I can get you a toe.Copy !req
958. Believe me,
there are ways, Dude.Copy !req
959. You don't wanna know about it, believe me.
Yeah, but, Walter...Copy !req
960. Hell, I could get you a toe by 3:00
this afternoon with nail polish.Copy !req
961. These fucking amateurs.
Walter...Copy !req
962. They send us a toe, we're supposed
to shit ourselves with fear.Copy !req
963. Jesus Christ!
Walter...Copy !req
964. The point is... They're
gonna kill her, Walter,Copy !req
965. and then they're
gonna kill me.Copy !req
966. Dude, that's...Copy !req
967. That's just the
stress talking, man.Copy !req
968. Now, so far we have what appears to me
to be a series of victimless crimes.Copy !req
969. What about the toe?
Forget about the fucking toe!Copy !req
970. Excuse me, sir. Could you
please keep your voices down?Copy !req
971. This is a family restaurant.Copy !req
972. Oh, please! Dear,
for your information,Copy !req
973. the Supreme Court has roundly
rejected prior restraint.Copy !req
974. Come on. Walter, this is not a
First Amendment thing, man.Copy !req
975. Sir, if you don't calm down, I'm
gonna have to ask you to leave.Copy !req
976. Lady, I got buddies who
died face down in the muckCopy !req
977. so that you and I can enjoy
this family restaurant!Copy !req
978. All right, I'm out of here.
Hey, Dude, don't go away, man.Copy !req
979. Come on. This affects all of us, man!
It's our basic freedoms!Copy !req
980. I'm staying.Copy !req
981. I'm finishing my coffee.Copy !req
982. Enjoying my coffee.Copy !req
983. The Dude is not in.Copy !req
984. Leave a message after the beep.
It takes a minute.Copy !req
985. Mr. Lebowski, this is Duty
Officer Rolvaag of the LAPD.Copy !req
986. We've recovered
your automobile.Copy !req
987. It can be claimed at the North Hollywood
Auto Circus there on Victory.Copy !req
988. Their hours there are...Copy !req
989. Far out, man. Far fucking out!Copy !req
990. Hey! This is a private
residence, man.Copy !req
991. Oh, nice marmot.Copy !req
992. Where is the money, Lebowski?
We wants the money, Lebowski!Copy !req
993. You think we are kidding or
making with the funny stuff?Copy !req
994. We could do things you haven't
dreamed of, Lebowski.Copy !req
995. Ja, we believes in nothing. We believes
in nothing, Lebowski. Nothing!Copy !req
996. And tomorrow we come back
and we out off your johnson.Copy !req
997. Excuse me? I said, we
cut off your johnson!Copy !req
998. Just think about that,
Lebowski.Copy !req
999. Your Wiggly penis, Lebowski.Copy !req
1000. Ja. Maybe we stomp on it
and squish it.Copy !req
1001. It was discovered last night in
Van Nuys lodged against an abutment.Copy !req
1002. Oh, man. Lodged where?Copy !req
1003. You're lucky she didn't
get chopped, Mr. Lebowski.Copy !req
1004. Oh, man! Must've been
a joyride situation.Copy !req
1005. They abandoned the vehicle once
they hit the retaining wall.Copy !req
1006. Oh, my fucking briefcase, man!
It's not here! Shit!Copy !req
1007. Yeah, I saw that
on the report. Sorry.Copy !req
1008. You gotta get in
on the other side.Copy !req
1009. The side view was found
on the road by the car.Copy !req
1010. You're lucky they left the tape
deck though, and the Creedence.Copy !req
1011. Oh, Jesus!
What's that smell, man?Copy !req
1012. Yeah. It's probably
a vagrant slept in the car.Copy !req
1013. Or maybe just used it
as a toilet and moved on.Copy !req
1014. Hey, man,Copy !req
1015. are you gonna find these guys?Copy !req
1016. Or, you know, I mean... You
got any promising leads or...Copy !req
1017. Leads?Copy !req
1018. Yeah. Sure.Copy !req
1019. I'll just check with the boys
down at the crime lab.Copy !req
1020. They got four more detectives
working on the case.Copy !req
1021. They got us working in shifts!Copy !req
1022. Leads!Copy !req
1023. My only hope is that
the big Lebowski kills meCopy !req
1024. before the Germans
can cut my dick off.Copy !req
1025. Leads!Copy !req
1026. Now, that is just
ridiculous, Dude.Copy !req
1027. No one's going to
cut your dick off.Copy !req
1028. Thank you, Walter. Not if I
have anything to say about it.Copy !req
1029. Thank you, Walter.Copy !req
1030. That makes me feel very secure.
Dude?Copy !req
1031. That makes me feel very
warm inside, man. Dude?Copy !req
1032. This whole fucking thing.Copy !req
1033. I could be sitting here with
just pee stains on my rug.Copy !req
1034. But no, man, I got a, you know...
Yeah. Fucking Germans.Copy !req
1035. Nothing changes.Copy !req
1036. Fucking Nazis.
They were Nazis, Dude?Copy !req
1037. Oh, come on, Donny. They
were threatening castration!Copy !req
1038. Uh-huh. Are we gonna
split hairs here?Copy !req
1039. No.
Am I wrong?Copy !req
1040. Well, he didn't... Man,
they were nihilists, man.Copy !req
1041. They kept saying they
believed in nothing.Copy !req
1042. Nihilists.Copy !req
1043. Fuck me.Copy !req
1044. I mean, say what you want about the
tenets of national socialism, Dude.Copy !req
1045. At least it's an ethos.
Yeah.Copy !req
1046. And, also, let's not forget...
Let's not forget, Dude,Copy !req
1047. that keeping wildlife,
an amphibious rodent,Copy !req
1048. for, you know,
domestic...Copy !req
1049. Within the city...Copy !req
1050. That ain't legal, either. What are
you, a fucking park ranger now?Copy !req
1051. No! I'm just
trying to...Copy !req
1052. Who gives a shit
about the fucking marmot?Copy !req
1053. We are sympathizing here, Dude.
Fuck sympathy.Copy !req
1054. I don't need your fucking sympathy, man.
I need my fucking johnson.Copy !req
1055. What do you need that for, Dude?
You have got to buck up, man!Copy !req
1056. You cannot drag this negative
energy into the tournament.Copy !req
1057. Fuck the tournament.
Fuck you, Walter.Copy !req
1058. Fuck the tournament?Copy !req
1059. Okay, Dude. I can see you don't
want to be cheered up here.Copy !req
1060. Come on, Donny.
Let's go get us a lane.Copy !req
1061. Another Caucasian, Gary.
Right, Dude.Copy !req
1062. Friends like these, huh, Gary?
That's right, Dude.Copy !req
1063. See them tumbling downCopy !req
1064. Pledging their love
to the groundCopy !req
1065. Lonely, but free,
I'll be foundCopy !req
1066. You got a good sarsaparilla?
Sioux City Sarsaparilla?Copy !req
1067. Yeah. That's a good one.Copy !req
1068. How're you doing there,
Dude?Copy !req
1069. Not too good, man.Copy !req
1070. One of those days, huh?
Yeah.Copy !req
1071. Well, a wiser fellow
than myself once said,Copy !req
1072. "Sometimes you eat
the bear and..."Copy !req
1073. Much obliged.Copy !req
1074. "Sometimes the bear,
well, he eats you."Copy !req
1075. That some kind of
Eastern thing?Copy !req
1076. Far from it.Copy !req
1077. I like your style, Dude.Copy !req
1078. Oh, well, I dig
your style, too, man.Copy !req
1079. Got a whole cowboy thing
going.Copy !req
1080. Thank you.Copy !req
1081. There's just one thing, Dude.Copy !req
1082. What's that?Copy !req
1083. Do you have to use
so many cuss words?Copy !req
1084. What the fuck are
you talking about?Copy !req
1085. Okay, Dude. Have it your way.Copy !req
1086. Take her easy, Dude.Copy !req
1087. Yeah. Thanks, man.Copy !req
1088. Call for you, Dude.Copy !req
1089. Hello? Jeffrey, you
have not gone to the doctor.Copy !req
1090. Oh, yeah, no.
No, I haven't yet.Copy !req
1091. I'd like to see you
immediately.Copy !req
1092. Oh?Copy !req
1093. So, you're Lebowski.
Yeah.Copy !req
1094. Maude has told me
all about you.Copy !req
1095. She'll be back in a minute.
Sit down.Copy !req
1096. Do you want a drink?
Yeah, sure. White Russian.Copy !req
1097. The bar's over there.Copy !req
1098. So, what do you do, Lebowski?
Who the fuck are you, man?Copy !req
1099. Just a friend of Maudie's. Yeah?
The friend with the cleft asshole?Copy !req
1100. What do you do?
Oh, nothing much.Copy !req
1101. Hello, Jeffrey.
Hello.Copy !req
1102. Yeah. How are you?
Listen, Maude.Copy !req
1103. I got toCopy !req
1104. tender my resignation
or whateverCopy !req
1105. because looks like your mother
really was kidnapped after all.Copy !req
1106. She most certainly was not.Copy !req
1107. Hey, man, why don't you
fucking listen occasionally?Copy !req
1108. You might learn something.
Now, I got...Copy !req
1109. Please
don't call her my mother.Copy !req
1110. She's most definitely the
perpetrator and not the victim.Copy !req
1111. I'm telling you, I've got
pretty definitive evidence.Copy !req
1112. From who?
From the main guy, Uli.Copy !req
1113. Uli Kunkel? Her costar
in the beaver picture?Copy !req
1114. You mean vagina?
I mean, you know the guy?Copy !req
1115. I might have introduced them,
for all I know.Copy !req
1116. Do you remember Uli?Copy !req
1117. He's a musician. Used to
have a group, Autobahn.Copy !req
1118. Look in my LP's. They released
one album in the late '70s.Copy !req
1119. Their music is
sort of a techno pop.Copy !req
1120. So he's pretending to be the abductor?
Well, yeah.Copy !req
1121. Look, Jeffrey, you don't really kidnap
someone you're acquainted with.Copy !req
1122. The whole idea is that the hostage can't
identify you after you've let them go.Copy !req
1123. Well, I know that.Copy !req
1124. What the fuck is with this guy?
Who is he?Copy !req
1125. Knox Harrington,
the video artist.Copy !req
1126. So, Uli has the money.Copy !req
1127. Well, no, not exactly.Copy !req
1128. This is a very complicated
case, Maude.Copy !req
1129. A lot of what-have-yousCopy !req
1130. and a lot of strands
to keep in my head, man.Copy !req
1131. You know, a lot of strands
in the old Duder's head.Copy !req
1132. Hello?Copy !req
1133. If Uli doesn't have it,
then who does?Copy !req
1134. It's Sandra
about the Biennale.Copy !req
1135. Look. I have to take this. Do you
still have that doctor's number?Copy !req
1136. No, really, it's not even bruised anymore.
Oh, please, Jeffrey.Copy !req
1137. I don't want to be responsible
for any delayed aftereffects.Copy !req
1138. Aftereffects?Copy !req
1139. Could you slide your shorts
down, Mr. Lebowski, please?Copy !req
1140. Mmm?Copy !req
1141. No, no, man.
She hit me right here.Copy !req
1142. I understand. Could you slide
your shorts down, please?Copy !req
1143. Just got home from IllinoisCopy !req
1144. Locked the front door, oh, boyCopy !req
1145. Got to sit down,
take a rest on the porchCopy !req
1146. Imagination sets inCopy !req
1147. Pretty soon I'm singin'Copy !req
1148. Doo,doo, dooCopy !req
1149. Looking out my back doorCopy !req
1150. Keeping mighty cool. There's
a giant doing cartwheelsCopy !req
1151. A statue wearing high heelsCopy !req
1152. Look at all the
happy creaturesCopy !req
1153. Dancing on the lawnCopy !req
1154. A dinosaur Victrola
listening to Buck OwensCopy !req
1155. Looking out my back doorCopy !req
1156. Tambourines and
elephants are playing in the bandCopy !req
1157. Doo,doo, dooCopy !req
1158. Wondrous apparition
provided by magicianCopy !req
1159. Doo,doo, dooCopy !req
1160. Looking out my back doorCopy !req
1161. Tambourines and elephants
are playing in the bandCopy !req
1162. Won't you take a ride
on the flying spoon?Copy !req
1163. Doo,doo, dooCopy !req
1164. Bother me tomorrowCopy !req
1165. Today I'll buy no sorrowsCopy !req
1166. Doo,doo, dooCopy !req
1167. Looking out my back doorCopy !req
1168. He lives in North Hollywood on
Radford, near the In-N-Out Burger.Copy !req
1169. No, the In-N-Out
Burger's on Camrose.Copy !req
1170. Near the In-N-Out Burger. Those
are good burgers, Walter.Copy !req
1171. Shut the fuck up, Donny. The kid
is in the ninth grade, Dude.Copy !req
1172. And his father is...
Are you ready for this?Copy !req
1173. His father is
Arthur Digby Sellers.Copy !req
1174. Who the fuck is that?Copy !req
1175. Who the fuck is Arthur Digby Sellers?
Who the...Copy !req
1176. Have you ever heard of a little
show called Branded, Dude?Copy !req
1177. Yes, yes, I...Copy !req
1178. "All but one man died
there at Bitter Creek."Copy !req
1179. I know the fucking show,
Walter. So what?Copy !req
1180. Fucking Arthur Digby Sellers
wrote 156 episodes, Dude.Copy !req
1181. The bulk of the series.Copy !req
1182. Oh.Copy !req
1183. Not exactly a lightweight. No.Copy !req
1184. And yet his son
is a fucking dunce.Copy !req
1185. Anyway, we'll go there
after the what-have-you.Copy !req
1186. We'll brace the kid.
Should be a pushover.Copy !req
1187. We'll be near
the In-N-Out Burger.Copy !req
1188. Shut the fuck up, Donny!Copy !req
1189. We'll go out there, we'll brace the kid.
He should be a pushover.Copy !req
1190. We'll get that fucking
million dollars back,Copy !req
1191. if he hasn't
spent it already.Copy !req
1192. A million fucking clams.Copy !req
1193. And, yes, we'll be near the...
In-N-Out.Copy !req
1194. Shh! Shh! Some burgers, some beers.
A few laughs.Copy !req
1195. Our fucking troubles
are over, Dude.Copy !req
1196. Oh, fuck me, man.Copy !req
1197. That kid's already spent
all the money, man.Copy !req
1198. New Vette? Hardly, Dude.Copy !req
1199. I'd say he still has $960,000, $970,000
left, depending on the options.Copy !req
1200. Wait in the car, Donny.Copy !req
1201. Yes?
Pilar?Copy !req
1202. My name is Walter Sobchak. This is
my associate, Jeffrey Lebowski.Copy !req
1203. We came to talk
about little Larry.Copy !req
1204. May we come in?
Yes, yes.Copy !req
1205. Thank you.Copy !req
1206. That's him, Dude.Copy !req
1207. And a good day
to you, sir!Copy !req
1208. Sit down, please.Copy !req
1209. Larry, sweetie,
the man is here!Copy !req
1210. Is he...
Does he still write?Copy !req
1211. Oh, no, no.
He has health problems.Copy !req
1212. Uh-huh.Copy !req
1213. Sir, I just want to sayCopy !req
1214. that we're both,
on a personal level,Copy !req
1215. really enormous fans.Copy !req
1216. Branded, especially
the early episodes,Copy !req
1217. was truly a source
of inspiration.Copy !req
1218. Sweetie, sit down.
This man is the police.Copy !req
1219. Oh, no, ma'am. We didn't want to give the
impression that we were police, exactly.Copy !req
1220. We're hoping it won't be
necessary to call the police.Copy !req
1221. But that's up to
little Larry here.Copy !req
1222. Isn't it, Larry?Copy !req
1223. Is this your homework,
Larry?Copy !req
1224. Is this your homework, Larry?
Look, man, it...Copy !req
1225. Dude. Please? Is this
your homework, Larry?Copy !req
1226. Just ask him about
the car, man.Copy !req
1227. Is this yours, Larry? Is
this your homework, Larry?Copy !req
1228. Is that your car out front?Copy !req
1229. Is this your homework, Larry? We
know it's his fucking homework!Copy !req
1230. Where's the fucking money,
you little brat?Copy !req
1231. Look, Larry, have you
ever heard of Vietnam?Copy !req
1232. For Christ's sake, Walter. You are
entering a world of pain, son.Copy !req
1233. We know that this is your homework.
We know that you stole the car.Copy !req
1234. And the fucking money.
And the fucking money!Copy !req
1235. And we know that
this is your homework!Copy !req
1236. We're gonna cut
your dick off, Larry.Copy !req
1237. You're killing
your father, Larry.Copy !req
1238. All right.
This is pointless.Copy !req
1239. Okay, time for Plan B.Copy !req
1240. You might want to watch out
that front window, Larry.Copy !req
1241. Son, this is what happens when
you fuck a stranger in the ass!Copy !req
1242. A little language
problem here.Copy !req
1243. Little prick's
stonewalling me.Copy !req
1244. Walter.Copy !req
1245. What are you doing, man?Copy !req
1246. What are you doing?Copy !req
1247. Here you go, Larry.Copy !req
1248. You see what happens?Copy !req
1249. You see what happens, Larry?Copy !req
1250. You see what happens?
Oh, great.Copy !req
1251. This is what happens when you fuck
a stranger in the ass, Larry.Copy !req
1252. This is what happens, Larry.Copy !req
1253. You see what happens, Larry?Copy !req
1254. You see what happens when you
fuck a stranger in the ass?Copy !req
1255. This is what happens!Copy !req
1256. You see what happens, Larry?Copy !req
1257. Do you see what happens, Larry, when
you fuck a stranger in the ass?Copy !req
1258. This is what happens, Larry!Copy !req
1259. This is what happens, Larry!Copy !req
1260. My car! My baby!
This is what happens, Larry!Copy !req
1261. This is what happens
when you fuck a stranger...Copy !req
1262. What the fuck are you
doing, man? Stop it!Copy !req
1263. Hey, man. I just bought
that fucking car last week!Copy !req
1264. Whoa, whoa, whoa! I'm sorry!
I'm gonna fucking kill you!Copy !req
1265. I just bought the fucking car last week!
Come on, man.Copy !req
1266. I'll kill your
fucking car, man!Copy !req
1267. No, no. Hey, hey,
that's not his! Hey!Copy !req
1268. God damn it!
Whoa! Oh, no!Copy !req
1269. Fuck you!
Man. No.Copy !req
1270. You like that? Fuck you!Copy !req
1271. I'll kill your fucking car!
No. No, no. No.Copy !req
1272. I'll kill your fucking car!Copy !req
1273. I accept your apology.Copy !req
1274. No, I just want to handle it
by myself from now on.Copy !req
1275. No.No.No!Copy !req
1276. That has nothing
to do with it.Copy !req
1277. Yes, the car made it home.
You're calling me at home.Copy !req
1278. No, Walter, it did not look
like Larry was about to crack!Copy !req
1279. Well, that's your perception.Copy !req
1280. You know, Walter,
you're right.Copy !req
1281. There is an unspoken
message here.Copy !req
1282. It's, "Fuck you!
Leave me the fuck alone!"Copy !req
1283. Yeah, I'll be at practice.Copy !req
1284. Pin your diapers on,
Lebowski.Copy !req
1285. Jackie Treehorn
wants to see you.Copy !req
1286. Jackie Treehorn knows which
Lebowski you are, Lebowski.Copy !req
1287. Jackie Treehorn wants to
see the deadbeat Lebowski.Copy !req
1288. You're not dealing
with morons here.Copy !req
1289. Hello, Dude.
Thanks for coming.Copy !req
1290. I'm Jackie Treehorn.Copy !req
1291. This is quite a pad
you got here, man.Copy !req
1292. Completely unspoiled.Copy !req
1293. What's your drink, Dude?
A White Russian. Thanks.Copy !req
1294. White Russian.Copy !req
1295. How's the smut business, Jackie?
I wouldn't know, Dude.Copy !req
1296. I deal in publishing,
entertainment, political advocacy.Copy !req
1297. Which one's Logjammin'?
Yes, regrettably, it's true.Copy !req
1298. Standards have fallen
in adult entertainment.Copy !req
1299. It's video, Dude.Copy !req
1300. Now that we're competing
with those amateurs,Copy !req
1301. we can't afford to invest
in little extras like story,Copy !req
1302. production value, feelings.Copy !req
1303. You know, people forget that the
brain is the biggest erogenous zone.Copy !req
1304. On you maybe.Copy !req
1305. Of course, you have to take
the good with the bad.Copy !req
1306. New technology permits us
to do very exciting thingsCopy !req
1307. in interactive
erotic software.Copy !req
1308. Wave of the future, Dude.
100% electronic.Copy !req
1309. Well, I still jerk off
manually.Copy !req
1310. Of course you do. I can see you're
anxious for me to get to the point.Copy !req
1311. Well, here it is, Dude.Copy !req
1312. Where's Bunny?Copy !req
1313. Well, I thought you might know that, man.
Why would I?Copy !req
1314. She only ran off to get away from
that rather sizable debt to me.Copy !req
1315. No, she didn't run off.
She's been...Copy !req
1316. I heard that kidnapping story,
so save it.Copy !req
1317. I know you're mixed up
in all this, Dude.Copy !req
1318. And I don't care what you're
trying to get from the husband.Copy !req
1319. That's your business.Copy !req
1320. All I'm saying is I want mine.Copy !req
1321. Yeah, right, man.Copy !req
1322. I mean, there are a lot of
facets to this,Copy !req
1323. a lot of interested parties.Copy !req
1324. Excuse me.Copy !req
1325. Yeah?Copy !req
1326. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
1327. Where is that?Copy !req
1328. All right. Yeah.Copy !req
1329. Excuse me.Copy !req
1330. Forgive me.
No problemo, man.Copy !req
1331. So, if I can find your money,Copy !req
1332. what's in it for the Dude?Copy !req
1333. Well, of course, there's that to discuss.
You want a refill?Copy !req
1334. Yeah, does the pope shit in the woods?
10% finder's fee.Copy !req
1335. That all right?
Okay. Done, Jackie.Copy !req
1336. I dig the way
you do business, man.Copy !req
1337. Your money is being held by
a kid named Larry Sellers.Copy !req
1338. He lives in North Hollywood
on Radford,Copy !req
1339. by the In-N-Out Burger.Copy !req
1340. Fucking brat.Copy !req
1341. But I'm sure your goons can get it off him.
I mean, he's 15.Copy !req
1342. Flunking social studies.Copy !req
1343. So, if you could justCopy !req
1344. write me a check for
my 10% of half a million,Copy !req
1345. 5 grand,
I'll go out and mingle.Copy !req
1346. You mix a hell of
a Caucasian, Jackie.Copy !req
1347. Fifteen-year-old kid.Copy !req
1348. Is this some sort of a joke?
No. No joke.Copy !req
1349. No funny stuff, Jackie.
The kid's got it.Copy !req
1350. Hi, fellas.Copy !req
1351. Kid just wanted a car.Copy !req
1352. All the Dude ever wanted
was his rug back.Copy !req
1353. Not greedy.Copy !req
1354. It reallyCopy !req
1355. tied the room together.Copy !req
1356. Darkness washed
over the Dude.Copy !req
1357. Darker than a black steer's tokus
on a moonless prairie night.Copy !req
1358. There was no bottom.Copy !req
1359. Yeah,yeah,oh, yeahCopy !req
1360. What condition
my condition was inCopy !req
1361. I woke up this morning
with the sundown shining inCopy !req
1362. I found my mind in
a brown paper bag withinCopy !req
1363. I tripped on a cloud
and fell-a eight miles highCopy !req
1364. I tore my mind on a jagged skyCopy !req
1365. I just dropped inCopy !req
1366. To see what condition
my condition was inCopy !req
1367. Yeah,yeah,oh, yeahCopy !req
1368. What condition
my condition was inCopy !req
1369. I pushed my soul
in a deep, dark holeCopy !req
1370. And then I followed it inCopy !req
1371. I watched myself crawlin' outCopy !req
1372. As I was a-crawlin' inCopy !req
1373. I got up so tightCopy !req
1374. I couldn't unwindCopy !req
1375. I saw so much I broke my mindCopy !req
1376. I just dropped inCopy !req
1377. To see what condition
my condition was inCopy !req
1378. Yeah,yeah,oh, yeahCopy !req
1379. What condition
my condition was inCopy !req
1380. Someone painted "April Fool"Copy !req
1381. In big, black letters
on a "Dead End" signCopy !req
1382. I had my foot on the gas
as I left the roadCopy !req
1383. And blew out my mindCopy !req
1384. Eight miles out of Memphis
and I got no spareCopy !req
1385. Eight miles straight up
downtown somewhereCopy !req
1386. I just dropped inCopy !req
1387. To see what condition
my condition was inCopy !req
1388. I said I just dropped inCopy !req
1389. To see what condition
my condition was inCopy !req
1390. Yeah, yeahCopy !req
1391. Oh, yeahCopy !req
1392. He was innocentCopy !req
1393. Not a charge was trueCopy !req
1394. And they say
he ran away brandedCopy !req
1395. Is this your only ID?Copy !req
1396. I know my rights, man.Copy !req
1397. You don't know shit, Lebowski.Copy !req
1398. I want a fucking lawyer,
man.Copy !req
1399. I want Bill Kunstler, man,Copy !req
1400. or Ron Kuby.Copy !req
1401. Mr. Treehorn tells us
that he had to eject youCopy !req
1402. from his garden party,Copy !req
1403. that you were drunk
and abusive.Copy !req
1404. Mr. Treehorn treats objects
like women, man.Copy !req
1405. Mr. Treehorn draws
a lot of water in this town.Copy !req
1406. You don't draw shit, Lebowski.Copy !req
1407. Now, we got a nice quiet
little beach community here,Copy !req
1408. and I aim to keep it
nice and quiet.Copy !req
1409. So let me make
something plain.Copy !req
1410. I don't like you sucking around
bothering our citizens, Lebowski.Copy !req
1411. I don't like your
jerk-off name.Copy !req
1412. I don't like your
jerk-off face.Copy !req
1413. I don't like your
jerk-off behavior.Copy !req
1414. And I don't like you,
jerk-off.Copy !req
1415. Do I make myself clear?Copy !req
1416. I'm sorry. I wasn't listening.Copy !req
1417. Ow!Copy !req
1418. Fucking fascist!Copy !req
1419. Stay out of Malibu,
Lebowski.Copy !req
1420. Stay out of Malibu, deadbeat!Copy !req
1421. Keep your ugly, fucking, gold-bricking
ass out of my beach community.Copy !req
1422. I want to sleep with youCopy !req
1423. In the desert tonightCopy !req
1424. With a billion stars
all aroundCopy !req
1425. Jesus, man. Could you
change the channel?Copy !req
1426. Fuck you, man! If you don't
like my fucking music,Copy !req
1427. get your own fucking cab!Copy !req
1428. I had a really rough...Copy !req
1429. I'll pull off to the side
and kick your ass out.Copy !req
1430. Man, come on. I had a rough night,
and I hate the fucking Eagles, man.Copy !req
1431. Out of my fucking cab! Out!
Man!Copy !req
1432. Man! Man! Hey!Copy !req
1433. There's a thousand
pretty women waiting out thereCopy !req
1434. And they're all livin'
devil may careCopy !req
1435. And I'm just the devil
with love to spareCopy !req
1436. So viva Las VegasCopy !req
1437. Viva Las VegasCopy !req
1438. Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
1439. Jeffrey.Copy !req
1440. Maude?
Love me.Copy !req
1441. That's my robe.Copy !req
1442. Tell me about
yourself, Jeffrey.Copy !req
1443. Well, not much to tell.Copy !req
1444. I was one of the authors
of the Port Huron Statement.Copy !req
1445. The original Port Huron Statement.
Uh-huh.Copy !req
1446. Not the compromised
second draft.Copy !req
1447. Then I...Copy !req
1448. You ever hear of
the Seattle Seven?Copy !req
1449. That was me.Copy !req
1450. And there were
six other guys.Copy !req
1451. And then the music business,
briefly.Copy !req
1452. Oh?
Yeah.Copy !req
1453. Roadie for Metallica.Copy !req
1454. Oh.Copy !req
1455. Speed of Sound tour.Copy !req
1456. Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
1457. Bunch of assholes.Copy !req
1458. And then, you know, little
of this, little of that.Copy !req
1459. My career's slowed down
a little lately.Copy !req
1460. What do you do
for recreation?Copy !req
1461. Well, the usual.Copy !req
1462. Bowl, drive around,Copy !req
1463. the occasional
acid flashback.Copy !req
1464. What happened
to your house?Copy !req
1465. Oh, Jackie Treehorn
trashed the place.Copy !req
1466. He thought I had
your father's money.Copy !req
1467. He got me out of the way
while he looked for it.Copy !req
1468. Cocktail?
No, thanks.Copy !req
1469. It's not my father's money.
It's the foundation's.Copy !req
1470. Why did he think you have it?
Who does?Copy !req
1471. Oh, Larry Sellers, this high school kid.
Real fucking brat.Copy !req
1472. You know, this is a very
complicated case, Maude.Copy !req
1473. A lot of ins, a lot of outs.Copy !req
1474. You know, fortunately, I'm adhering
to a pretty strict, drug regimenCopy !req
1475. to keep my mind,
you know, limber,Copy !req
1476. and I'm very fucking close
to your father's money.Copy !req
1477. I keep telling you, it's
the foundation's money.Copy !req
1478. Father doesn't have any.Copy !req
1479. What are you talking about?
He's fucking loaded.Copy !req
1480. No, no. The wealth
is all Mother's.Copy !req
1481. No, he runs stuff.Copy !req
1482. We did let him run one
of the companies briefly,Copy !req
1483. but he didn't do very well at it.
Oh, he's, you know...Copy !req
1484. No, he helps administer
the charities now,Copy !req
1485. and I give him
a reasonable allowance.Copy !req
1486. He has no money of his own.Copy !req
1487. I know how he likes
to present himself.Copy !req
1488. Father's weakness is vanity,
hence the slut.Copy !req
1489. Do you think he...Copy !req
1490. What is that, yoga?Copy !req
1491. It increases the chances
of conception.Copy !req
1492. Increases...
Well, yes.Copy !req
1493. What did you think this was all about?
Fun and games?Copy !req
1494. I want a child.Copy !req
1495. Okay, yeah, okay.Copy !req
1496. But let me... Let me explain
something about the Dude.Copy !req
1497. Look, Jeffrey,
I don't want a partner.Copy !req
1498. In fact, I don't want the father to
be someone I have to see sociallyCopy !req
1499. or who will have any interest
in raising the child himself.Copy !req
1500. Oh. So, that doctor...
Exactly.Copy !req
1501. Now, what happened
to your face?Copy !req
1502. Did Jackie Treehorn
do that as well?Copy !req
1503. No, it was the chief of police
of Malibu, a real reactionary.Copy !req
1504. So, your father...Copy !req
1505. Oh, yeah, I get it.
Yeah. Yeah. What?Copy !req
1506. Oh, man. My thinking about this
case has become very uptight.Copy !req
1507. Yeah.Copy !req
1508. Your father.Copy !req
1509. Jeffrey, what are
you talking about?Copy !req
1510. Jeffrey!Copy !req
1511. Walter, if you're there, pick
up the fucking phone, man.Copy !req
1512. Come on, Walter.Copy !req
1513. Pick it up, man. This is an emergency.
Dude? Dude?Copy !req
1514. Yeah. Listen, Walter. I'm at my place.
I need you to come pick me up.Copy !req
1515. I can't drive, Dude.
It's Erev shabbos. What?Copy !req
1516. Erev shabbos.
What?Copy !req
1517. Erev shabbos. I can't drive.
Man!Copy !req
1518. I'm not even supposed to pick up the
phone unless it's an emergency.Copy !req
1519. This is a fucking emergency!
I understand.Copy !req
1520. That's why I picked up
the phone.Copy !req
1521. Walter, you fuck.
We gotta go to Pasadena, man.Copy !req
1522. Come pick me up or I'm off
the fucking bowling team.Copy !req
1523. Get out of that
fucking car, man!Copy !req
1524. Get out of that fucking car!Copy !req
1525. Get the fuck
out of the car, man.Copy !req
1526. Get out of the fucking...Copy !req
1527. Who the fuck are you, man?
Easy, man!Copy !req
1528. Relax, man.Copy !req
1529. No physical harm intended.Copy !req
1530. Who the fuck are you? Why
you following me around?Copy !req
1531. Come on, fuckhead! Relax, man.
I'm a brother shamus.Copy !req
1532. Brother Shamus?Copy !req
1533. Like an Irish monk?Copy !req
1534. What the fuck are
you talking about?Copy !req
1535. My name is Da Fino. I'm a
private snoop, like you, man.Copy !req
1536. What?
A dick, man.Copy !req
1537. And let me tell you something,
I dig your work.Copy !req
1538. Playing one side against the
other, in bed with everybody.Copy !req
1539. Fabulous stuff, man.
I'm not...Copy !req
1540. Fuck it, man. Just stay away
from my fucking lady friend.Copy !req
1541. Hey, I'm not messing
with your special lady.Copy !req
1542. She's not my special lady.
She's my fucking lady friend.Copy !req
1543. I'm just helping her conceive, man!
Hey, man. I'm not...Copy !req
1544. Who are you working for?
Lebowski?Copy !req
1545. Jackie Treehorn?Copy !req
1546. The Kneutsons.Copy !req
1547. Who the fuck are
the Kneutsons?Copy !req
1548. The Kneutsons, it's a
wandering daughter job.Copy !req
1549. Bunny Lebowski, man.Copy !req
1550. Her real name
is Fawn Kneutson.Copy !req
1551. Her parents
want her back, see?Copy !req
1552. Jesus fucking Christ.Copy !req
1553. Crazy, huh?
Ran away about a year ago.Copy !req
1554. The Kneutsons told me I should
show her this when I found her.Copy !req
1555. It's the family farm. It's
outside Moorhead, Minnesota.Copy !req
1556. They think it'll make her homesick.
Oh, boy.Copy !req
1557. How are you gonna keep them
down on the farmCopy !req
1558. once they've seen
Karl Hungus?Copy !req
1559. She's been kidnapped, Da Fino.
Oh, man.Copy !req
1560. Or I don't know.
Maybe not.Copy !req
1561. But she's definitely
not around.Copy !req
1562. Hey, maybe you and me
could pool our resources,Copy !req
1563. trade information.Copy !req
1564. Professional courtesy?Copy !req
1565. Compeers.
You know what I mean?Copy !req
1566. Yeah, yeah, I get it.
Fuck off, Da Fino.Copy !req
1567. And stay away
from my special...Copy !req
1568. From my fucking
lady friend, man!Copy !req
1569. The lingonberry pancake.Copy !req
1570. Lingonberry pancakes.Copy !req
1571. Three pigs in blanket.Copy !req
1572. She has
lingonberry pancakes.Copy !req
1573. I mean, we totally fucked it up, man.
We fucked up his payoff.Copy !req
1574. We got the kidnappers
all pissed off.Copy !req
1575. And Lebowski, you know,
he yelled at me a lot,Copy !req
1576. but he didn't do
anything, huh?Copy !req
1577. Well, sometimes it's a cathartic...
No, no.Copy !req
1578. I'm saying that
if he knows I'm a fuckup,Copy !req
1579. why does he leave me in charge
of getting his wife back?Copy !req
1580. Because he doesn't
fucking want her back, man.Copy !req
1581. He's had enough. He no longer digs her.
It's all a show.Copy !req
1582. Okay, but then why doesn't he give
a shit about his million bucks?Copy !req
1583. I mean, he knows we never
handed off his briefcase,Copy !req
1584. but he
never asked for it back.Copy !req
1585. The million bucks
was never in the briefcase.Copy !req
1586. The briefcase was
fucking empty, man.Copy !req
1587. The asshole was hoping
that they would kill her.Copy !req
1588. You threw out a ringer
for a ringer.Copy !req
1589. Okay, but how does all this
add up to an emergency?Copy !req
1590. I'm saying, I see what you're getting at, Dude.
He kept the money.Copy !req
1591. My point is...Copy !req
1592. Here we are, it's shabbos,
the Sabbath,Copy !req
1593. which I'm allowed to break only if
it's a matter of life or death.Copy !req
1594. Will you come off it, Walter? You're
not even fucking Jewish, man.Copy !req
1595. What the fuck are
you talking about?Copy !req
1596. Man, you're fucking
Polish Catholic!Copy !req
1597. What the fuck
are you talking about?Copy !req
1598. I converted when I married Cynthia.
Come on, Dude.Copy !req
1599. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
You know this.Copy !req
1600. And five fucking years ago,
you were divorced.Copy !req
1601. So what are you saying?
When you get divorced,Copy !req
1602. you turn in your library card?
You get a new license?Copy !req
1603. You stop being Jewish?
This is the driveway.Copy !req
1604. Jewish as fucking Tevye.
Man.Copy !req
1605. You know, it's all a part
of your sick Cynthia thing.Copy !req
1606. Man, taking care of her fucking dog,
going to her fucking synagogue.Copy !req
1607. You're living in
the fucking past.Copy !req
1608. Three thousand years of beautiful
tradition, from Moses to Sandy Koufax.Copy !req
1609. You're goddamn right I'm
living in the fucking past!Copy !req
1610. I've... Jesus.Copy !req
1611. What the hell happened?Copy !req
1612. So viva Las VegasCopy !req
1613. Viva Las VegasCopy !req
1614. Let's go. Fuck it.Copy !req
1615. Where was she, man?Copy !req
1616. Visiting friends of hers
in Palm Springs.Copy !req
1617. She just picked up and left,
never bothered to tell us.Copy !req
1618. Well, I guess the fucking
nihilists knew where she was.Copy !req
1619. Jesus, Dude. She never
even kidnapped herself.Copy !req
1620. Who is this gentleman, Dude? Who am I?
I'm a fucking veteran.Copy !req
1621. Come on!
That's who I am.Copy !req
1622. You shouldn't go in there, Dude.
He's very angry.Copy !req
1623. So, man.Copy !req
1624. So? She's back,
no thanks to you.Copy !req
1625. Where's the fucking money,
Lebowski?Copy !req
1626. A million bucks from fucking,
needy, little Urban Achievers!Copy !req
1627. You are scum, man!Copy !req
1628. Who the hell is he?
Who am I? Who am I?Copy !req
1629. Walter. I'm the guy that's
gonna kick your phony,Copy !req
1630. gold-bricking ass, that's who I am.
Man.Copy !req
1631. We know the briefcase
was fucking empty.Copy !req
1632. We know you kept the million
bucks for yourself.Copy !req
1633. You have your story,
I have mine.Copy !req
1634. I say I entrusted the money
to you and you stole it.Copy !req
1635. As if we would ever dream of
taking your bullshit money!Copy !req
1636. You thought that Bunny
had been kidnapped,Copy !req
1637. and you were
fucking glad, man.Copy !req
1638. You could use it as an excuse
to make some money disappear.Copy !req
1639. All you needed was a sap to pin it on.
You just met me.Copy !req
1640. You... You human paraquat.Copy !req
1641. You figured, "Oh, here's a
loser, you know, a deadbeat.Copy !req
1642. "Somebody this square community
won't give a shit about."Copy !req
1643. Well, aren't you?Copy !req
1644. Well, yeah, but...
Get out, both of you.Copy !req
1645. Look at that fucking phony, Dude,
pretending to be a fucking millionaire.Copy !req
1646. Out of this house now,
you bums!Copy !req
1647. Let me tell you
something else.Copy !req
1648. I've seen a lot of spinals,
Dude, and this guy's a fake.Copy !req
1649. A fucking gold-bricker.
Stay away from me, mister!Copy !req
1650. This guy fucking walks.Copy !req
1651. I've never been more certain
of anything in my life.Copy !req
1652. You stay away from me!Copy !req
1653. Walter, for Christ's sake,
man! He's a cripple.Copy !req
1654. I said! Get away from me!
Come on. Come on.Copy !req
1655. Yeah, I'll put him down, Dude.
Walk! Achtung, baby!Copy !req
1656. Come on, man. Help me
put him back in his chair.Copy !req
1657. At least they had the
fucking decency to tell usCopy !req
1658. that we were fighting
the communists.Copy !req
1659. Whereas this whole fucking
thing, this whole fucking thingCopy !req
1660. is nothing about nothing,
about oil,Copy !req
1661. which is what I personally
hear, Dude.Copy !req
1662. Sure you'll see
some tank battles,Copy !req
1663. but fighting in desert is very different
from fighting in canopy jungle.Copy !req
1664. I mean, Nam was a foot soldier's
war, whereas this thing should...Copy !req
1665. You know, should be
a piece of cake.Copy !req
1666. I mean, I had an M16, Jacko,
not an Abrams fucking tank.Copy !req
1667. Me and Charlie, eyeball to eyeball.
Yeah.Copy !req
1668. That's fucking combat.Copy !req
1669. The man in the black
pajamas, Dude.Copy !req
1670. Worthy fucking adversary.Copy !req
1671. Who's in pajamas, Walter?
Shut the fuck up, Donny.Copy !req
1672. Whereas what we have here,Copy !req
1673. a bunch of fig eaters wearing
towels on their head,Copy !req
1674. trying to find reverse
on a Soviet tank.Copy !req
1675. This is not a worthy fucking adversary.
Hey!Copy !req
1676. What's this
day-of-rest shit?Copy !req
1677. What's this bullshit?Copy !req
1678. I don't fucking care!
It don't matter to Jesus.Copy !req
1679. But you not fooling me,
man.Copy !req
1680. You might fool the fucks
in the league officeCopy !req
1681. but you don't fool Jesus.Copy !req
1682. It's Bush league
psych-out stuff.Copy !req
1683. Laughable, man!Copy !req
1684. I would've fucked you
in the ass Saturday.Copy !req
1685. I'll fuck you in the ass
next Wednesday instead.Copy !req
1686. You got a date
Wednesday, baby!Copy !req
1687. He's cracking.Copy !req
1688. the whole concept of age.Copy !req
1689. I mean, many learned men
have disputed thisCopy !req
1690. but in the 14th century,
the Rambam...Copy !req
1691. Well, they finally
did it.Copy !req
1692. They killed
my fucking car.Copy !req
1693. We want the money,
Lebowski.Copy !req
1694. Ja. Otherwise,
we kill the girl.Copy !req
1695. Ja. It seems you have forgotten
our little deal, Lebowski.Copy !req
1696. You don't have the
fucking girl, dipshit.Copy !req
1697. We know you never did.Copy !req
1698. Are these the Nazis,
Walter?Copy !req
1699. No, Donny.
These men are nihilists.Copy !req
1700. There's nothing
to be afraid of.Copy !req
1701. We don't care.Copy !req
1702. We still want the money,
Lebowski, or we fuck you up.Copy !req
1703. Fuck you. Fuck the three of you.
Cool it, Walter.Copy !req
1704. No. Without a hostage,
there is no ransom.Copy !req
1705. That's what ransom is.
Those are the fucking rules.Copy !req
1706. His girlfriend
gave up her toe.Copy !req
1707. She thought we could
get $1 million.Copy !req
1708. It's not fair.
Fair?Copy !req
1709. Who's the fucking nihilists around
here, you bunch of fucking crybabies?Copy !req
1710. Cool it, Walter.
Hey, look, pal.Copy !req
1711. There never
was any money.Copy !req
1712. The big Lebowski gave me
an empty briefcase,Copy !req
1713. so take it up with him, man.Copy !req
1714. And I would like
my undies back.Copy !req
1715. Are these guys gonna
hurt us, Walter?Copy !req
1716. No, Donny.
These men are cowards.Copy !req
1717. Okay!Copy !req
1718. So we takes the money you have
on you, and we calls it even.Copy !req
1719. Fuck you.
Hey, no. Come on, Walter.Copy !req
1720. Come on, we're ending
this thing cheap, man.Copy !req
1721. No. What's mine is mine.
No, come on, Walter.Copy !req
1722. No funny stuff.
All right. All right.Copy !req
1723. No funny stuff.
I got 4 bucks, almost 5.Copy !req
1724. I got $18.
What's mine is mine.Copy !req
1725. We fuck you up, man!
We takes the money!Copy !req
1726. Come and get it.Copy !req
1727. We fuck you up! Show me
what you got, nihilists.Copy !req
1728. I fuck you! Walter, come on.
He's got a sword.Copy !req
1729. Fucking dipshit with
a nine-toed woman!Copy !req
1730. I fuck you! Fuck you!
I fuck you!Copy !req
1731. Take it easy, man.
I fuck you!Copy !req
1732. Take the $4.
I fuck you!Copy !req
1733. I fuck you!Copy !req
1734. I'm gonna hit you with
the fucking ball, man.Copy !req
1735. Hey, dickhead!
Anti-Semite.Copy !req
1736. I fuck you in the ass!
I fuck you in the ass!Copy !req
1737. I fuck you! I fuck you!Copy !req
1738. I fuck you! I fuck you!Copy !req
1739. We got a man down, Dude!Copy !req
1740. Oh, God. They shot him, man.Copy !req
1741. He's not shot. No, Dude.
Are you shot, Donny?Copy !req
1742. There weren't any shots fired.
Huh?Copy !req
1743. It's a heart attack.
Call the medics, Dude.Copy !req
1744. I'd go myself, but I'm pumping
blood, might pass out.Copy !req
1745. Rest easy, good buddy.
You're doing fine.Copy !req
1746. We got help choppering in.Copy !req
1747. Hello, gentlemen.Copy !req
1748. You are the bereaved?
Yeah, man.Copy !req
1749. Francis Donnelly,
pleased to meet you.Copy !req
1750. Jeff Lebowski.
Walter Sobchak.Copy !req
1751. The Dude actually is...Copy !req
1752. Excuse me?
Oh, nothing.Copy !req
1753. Yes. I understand you're
taking away the remains?Copy !req
1754. Yeah.Copy !req
1755. We have the urn.Copy !req
1756. I assume this is credit card?Copy !req
1757. Yeah.Copy !req
1758. What's this?Copy !req
1759. Now, that's for the urn.Copy !req
1760. Don't need it.
We're scattering the ashes.Copy !req
1761. Yes. So we were informed.Copy !req
1762. However, we must, of course,
transmit the remains to youCopy !req
1763. in a receptacle.Copy !req
1764. That's $180.Copy !req
1765. It is our most modestly
priced receptacle.Copy !req
1766. Well, can't we just...
$180?Copy !req
1767. They range up to $3,000.Copy !req
1768. We're... Can't we just rent
it from you, you know?Copy !req
1769. Sir, this is a mortuary
not a rental house.Copy !req
1770. We're scattering the fucking ashes!
Walter, Walter.Copy !req
1771. Just because we're bereaved
doesn't make us saps.Copy !req
1772. Sir, please lower
your voices.Copy !req
1773. Man, don't you have, you know,
something else we can put him in?Copy !req
1774. You know?Copy !req
1775. That is our most modestly
priced receptacle.Copy !req
1776. God damn it!Copy !req
1777. Is there a Ralph's
around here?Copy !req
1778. Donny was a good bowler
and a good man.Copy !req
1779. He was one of us.Copy !req
1780. He was a man who loved
the outdoors and bowling.Copy !req
1781. And as a surfer he explored the
beaches of Southern CaliforniaCopy !req
1782. from La Jolla to Leo CarrilloCopy !req
1783. and up to Pismo.Copy !req
1784. He died...Copy !req
1785. He died as so many young men of
his generation, before his time.Copy !req
1786. In your wisdom, Lord,
you took him,Copy !req
1787. as you took so many bright,
flowering young menCopy !req
1788. at Khe Sanh, at Lan Doc,Copy !req
1789. at Hill 364.Copy !req
1790. These young men
gave their lives,Copy !req
1791. and so did Donny.Copy !req
1792. Donny, who loved bowling.Copy !req
1793. And so,Copy !req
1794. Theodore Donald Kerabatsos,Copy !req
1795. in accordance with what we think your
dying wishes might well have been,Copy !req
1796. we commit your final
mortal remainsCopy !req
1797. to the bosom of
the Pacific OceanCopy !req
1798. which you loved so well.Copy !req
1799. Good night, sweet prince.Copy !req
1800. Shit.Copy !req
1801. Oh, shit, Dude. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1802. Goddamn wind.
Fuck, god damn it, Walter!Copy !req
1803. You fucking asshole!
Shit, Dude. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1804. Everything's a fucking
travesty with you, man!Copy !req
1805. I'm sorry.
It was an accident.Copy !req
1806. What was that shit about Vietnam?
Dude, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1807. What the fuck does anything
have to do with Vietnam?Copy !req
1808. Dude, I'm sorry. What the
fuck are you talking about?Copy !req
1809. Dude, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1810. Fucking...Copy !req
1811. Fuck, Walter.Copy !req
1812. Come on, Dude.Copy !req
1813. Hey, fuck it, man.Copy !req
1814. Let's go bowling.Copy !req
1815. And when you're sittin' thereCopy !req
1816. In your silk upholstered chairCopy !req
1817. Talkin' to some rich folks
that you knowCopy !req
1818. Well, I hope you don't see meCopy !req
1819. In my ragged companyCopy !req
1820. Oh, but you know
I could never be aloneCopy !req
1821. Two oat sodas, Gary.
Right. Good luck tomorrow.Copy !req
1822. Yeah, thanks, man. I was
sorry to hear about Donny.Copy !req
1823. Oh, yeah. Well, you know,Copy !req
1824. sometimes you eat the bear,
and sometimes, you know...Copy !req
1825. Hey, man.Copy !req
1826. How do you do, Dude? I
wondered if I'd see you again.Copy !req
1827. I wouldn't miss
the semis.Copy !req
1828. Oh, yeah?
How's things been going?Copy !req
1829. Well, you know, strikes and
gutters, ups and downs.Copy !req
1830. Sure. I got you.
Yeah.Copy !req
1831. Thanks, Gary.Copy !req
1832. Well, take care, man.
Gotta get back.Copy !req
1833. Sure. Take it easy, Dude.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1834. I know that you will.Copy !req
1835. Yeah. Well,
the Dude abides.Copy !req
1836. Walter.Copy !req
1837. The Dude abides.Copy !req
1838. I don't know about you,
but I take comfort in that.Copy !req
1839. It's good knowing
he's out there,Copy !req
1840. the Dude, taking her easy
for all us sinners.Copy !req
1841. I sure hope
he makes the finals.Copy !req
1842. Well, that about does her.Copy !req
1843. Wraps her all up.Copy !req
1844. Things seem to have worked out
pretty good for the Dude and Walter.Copy !req
1845. And it was a pretty good
story, don't you think?Copy !req
1846. Made me laugh
to beat the band.Copy !req
1847. Parts anyway.Copy !req
1848. I didn't like seeing Donny go.Copy !req
1849. But then I happen to know that there's
a little Lebowski on the way.Copy !req
1850. I guess that's the way the whole
darned human comedy keepsCopy !req
1851. perpetuating itselfCopy !req
1852. down through the generations.Copy !req
1853. Westward the wagons, across
the sands of time until we...Copy !req
1854. Oh, look at me.
I'm rambling again.Copy !req
1855. Well, I hope you folks
enjoyed yourselves.Copy !req
1856. Catch you later on
down the trail.Copy !req
1857. Say, friend, you got any more
of that good sarsaparilla?Copy !req
1858. Take me down, little SusieCopy !req
1859. Take me downCopy !req
1860. I know you think
you're the queenCopy !req
1861. Of the undergroundCopy !req
1862. Send me dead flowers
every morningCopy !req
1863. Send me dead flowers
by the mailCopy !req
1864. Send me dead flowers
to my weddingCopy !req
1865. And I won't forget to put
roses on your graveCopy !req
1866. No, I won't forget
to put rosesCopy !req
1867. On your graveCopy !req
1868. Bright light city
gonna set my soulCopy !req
1869. Gonna set my soul on fireCopy !req
1870. Got a whole lot of money
that's ready to burnCopy !req
1871. So get those stakes up higherCopy !req
1872. There's a thousand pretty
women livin' out thereCopy !req
1873. They're all livin'
devil may careCopy !req
1874. And I'm just a devil
with love to spareCopy !req
1875. So viva Las VegasCopy !req
1876. Viva Las VegasCopy !req
1877. Viva Las Vegas
with your neon flashingCopy !req
1878. And your one-arm
bandits crashingCopy !req
1879. All those hopes down the drainCopy !req
1880. Viva Las Vegas turnin'
day into nighttimeCopy !req
1881. Night into daytimeCopy !req
1882. If you see it onceCopy !req
1883. You'll never be the same againCopy !req
1884. I'm gonna keep on
keep on runnin'Copy !req
1885. If it costs me
my very last dimeCopy !req
1886. If I wind up brokeCopy !req
1887. Well, I'll always rememberCopy !req
1888. That I had a swingin' timeCopy !req
1889. I'm gonna give it
everything I've gotCopy !req
1890. Lady Luck, please
let the dice stay hotCopy !req
1891. Let me shoot a seven
on every shotCopy !req
1892. So viva Las VegasCopy !req
1893. Viva Las VegasCopy !req
1894. Viva Las VegasCopy !req
1895. VivaCopy !req
1896. VivaCopy !req
1897. VivaCopy !req
1898. VivaCopy !req
1899. Las VegasCopy !req
1900. VivaCopy !req