The Barn (2016)

1. First off I'd like to thank everyone

2. for coming out tonight.

3. Before the festivities begin.

4. Tonight marks the official return

5. of the Annual Harvest Hootenanny.

6. And as a token of our appreciation

7. we offer tonight's, uh, celebration

8. of our way to praise the Lord for all He's done for us

9. and all He continues to do

10. for our little town of Wheary Falls.

11. Now as a reminder to all your trick or treaters

12. Wheary Farms property if off limits tonight.

13. There'll be no adults there handing out candy.

14. You'll find plenty of that right here in town.

15. Now I want you all to have fun, be safe

16. and most all remember the rules that we discussed.

17. Now let's all head on up to the school house

18. and let the celebration begin!

19. Well, you heard the preacher,

20. he said the barn is off limits tonight.

21. What are you chicken?

22. Is Georgie boy afraid

23. he might see the Boogeyman or something?

24. I'm not chicken.

25. We just shouldn't be up here by ourselves.

26. Well what do you know?

27. There's a jack-o-lantern waiting for us.

28. Okay so?

29. Preacher said remember the rules.

30. Every house handing out candy

31. has a lit jack-o-lantern outside the door,

32. watching and waiting.

33. So there must be candy in there.

34. Come on Shirley, let's just go back to town.

35. We're gonna miss out on all the good stuff.

36. But what if there's special candy in there?

37. And we're the only ones brave enough to come and get it.

38. Trick or treat, trick or treat, trick or treat.

39. Trick or treat, smell by feet, give.

40. Happy Halloween.

41. Come on kids, let's go.

42. And so every year on Halloween,

43. the legend of the barn tells how's evil's released.

44. It takes the form of three demons

45. dressed as trick or treaters with evil grins.

46. The Boogeyman wants to crack your back

47. and cut you into pieces to carry in his sack.

48. The pumpkin man Hallow Jack wants to carve out your head

49. and slash you with his vines until you're dead.

50. And if you get scared, don't you cry.

51. Or the Candy Corn Scarecrow will surely eat your eyes.

52. Three knocks on their door shall set them free

53. and only if you say the words trick or treat.

54. Oh, spooky costumes kids.

55. Have fun tonight.

56. Hey where are my treats?

57. Where's your costume?

58. Whatever, pumpkins are lame and so's your story.

59. Hey whoa, whoa, whoa, look my bowls empty alright.

60. There's more treats in that barrel over there,

61. why don't you go grab one from the bottom alright.

62. Hey.

63. Hey!

64. Happy Halloween.

65. Damn Sam.

66. You think you could've found me a tighter pair of shorts.

67. I mean, I'm gonna have to do a cavity search for my balls.

68. Oh man, they're not that tight.

69. I still don't get why we have to scare all the kids

70. that aren't dressed like something spooky.

71. It's because it's the costume rule Josh.

72. The whole point of dressing scary is to fool

73. whatever's out there into believing we're one of them.

74. Trust me.

75. That kid now knows to dress scary if he wants candy.

76. He learned an important lesson today.

77. What?

78. That older kids are dicks.

79. Probably.

80. You never know man, maybe one day it'll save our lives.

81. If we're ever in a situation

82. where we need your Halloween rules to save our lives,

83. then we're in a shit ton of trouble.

84. Why don't you just get back in your barrel

85. before another group comes.

86. Oh, did you hear that?

87. Another group's coming.

88. Great.

89. Mr. Daniels.

90. I see you're terrifying the children again.

91. Trick or treat to you too Miss Barnhart.

92. I believe you were told last Halloween

93. to stop scaring the children with your barn tales.

94. Yes I was asked to stop scaring them next Halloween.

95. Seeing as how it's October 30th,

96. technically it's not Halloween.

97. Oh.

98. Very funny Mr. Daniels.

99. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

100. Now I think you'd go much further

101. if you'd just stop with the excuses and just act your age.

102. You know what?

103. I will make you a deal.

104. I promise to stop scaring kids with my barn story

105. if you promise to help me clean this up and put it away.

106. Really?

107. Indeed Mr. Daniels.

108. It all goes in that barrel right over there.

109. That barrel?

110. Yep.

111. Okay.

112. Oh by the way Miss Barnhart.

113. Yes.

114. Happy Halloween.

115. Joshua Harper, you of all people.

116. The son of our pastor.

117. To be celebrating Devil's Night,

118. what would father think if he were alive?

119. If my father was still alive

120. you wouldn't be trying to fill his shoes in his Church.

121. I hope you enjoyed yourself.

122. Thanks to you two,

123. Helen's Valley will not see another Halloween.

124. And I'll make sure of it.

125. Thank you for covering my ass back there.

126. Do you believe this woman?

127. It's literally been a year since my dad died

128. and she thinks because she runs his Church

129. she runs this town.

130. As long as she's in charge, I'll never be seen at Church.

131. Yeah.

132. And who is she to tell us

133. that we're too old to trick or treat?

134. What?

135. Oh dude, did you hear that?

136. I think my dad's home early.

137. Yep, you got all this for a minute?

138. I'm gonna go inside and grab some garbage bags and stuff.

139. Sounds good partner.

140. Yeah, I'm gonna go get changed before we head out.

141. Yet again

142. I am sorry to hear about all of that Miss Barnhart.

143. Well if that's what he has to do to make up to you,

144. I'll tell him right now.

145. Yeah, sounds great.

146. Okay, goodbye.

147. You want to explain that phone call?

148. Dad, she broke the rule.

149. She never said trick or treat.

150. Dammit Sam.

151. For someone who is so bent on the rules for Halloween

152. you sure as hell seem lacking

153. in the rules of responsibility.

154. Do you realize that in seven months

155. you graduate high school?

156. What does that have to do with a stupid prank?

157. Do you really want your legacy in this town

158. to be the kid who was so obsessed with himself

159. and Halloween that he didn't know when to grow up.

160. I thought that when you and your buddies,

161. the, uh, Gardeners From Hell began mowing lawns.

162. That you were growing out of your kid phase.

163. But, low and behold, when the leaves change

164. so do your priorities.

165. You don't get it dude.

166. I didn't choose to stop being a kid.

167. You and everyone else in this town decided that for me.

168. Well then, this is your lucky day pal.

169. Miss Barnhart knows how much you enjoy acting like a kid

170. so that's why she's giving you the experience

171. of going door to door and collecting goods tomorrow night

172. for the Church's food bank.

173. Oh and uh, by the way, enjoy yourself tonight.

174. Because after tomorrow you're grounded, dude.

175. So both you guys have to do it?

176. Well?

177. Of course Russ,

178. I'm the one that jumped out and scared her.

179. So what's the 411 on tomorrow huh?

180. We gonna egg some cars?

181. Tee-pee some houses?

182. Have a little ding dong ditch huh?

183. Well according to my dad,

184. after I'm done being a boy scout I'm grounded.

185. Uh.

186. Yeah, but um, we'll figure something out.

187. Alright cool, cool.

188. I'll meet you guys at concessions in a little bit alright?

189. Alright man.

190. Oh hey Sammy, Michelle's working.

191. Ooh.

192. Oh shit what up pops?

193. Okay, yeah we'll see you over there.

194. Skate and whirl!

195. So, Gardener's From Hell huh?

196. What?

197. That's what you said your dad called us.

198. Dude, he was just being a dick weed.

199. I don't know, it's not a bad name actually.

200. It's beats being called The Bushwhackers.

201. Hey, hey Michelle.

202. Hi.

203. I will have a slice of pizza, a cola

204. and a bag of these.

205. Anything for you Sam?

206. Um...

207. He'll just have your phone number.

208. What?

209. Hey Michelle.

210. I'm gonna take the same.

211. That's right, yeah.

212. Alright well you guys can take a seat

213. and I'll bring it out to you.

214. Oh and you guys better hurry up Rock Block's just starting.

215. Oh yeah, yeah, go go go.

216. Wig it out if I miss this.

217. Hello I'm your host Dr. Rock.

218. And tonight we've got one of the biggest rock bands

219. on the music scene here to make a huge announcement.

220. All this and more as part

221. of a spooktacular Halloween edition

222. of the Rock Block with Dr. Rock.

223. You wanted 'em, I got 'em.

224. The one, the only Demon Inferno.

225. Always a pleasure, always a pleasure to see you guys.

226. You gotta tell us what is this big announcement

227. that you came out here on the Rock Block with Dr. Rock

228. to tell the world?

229. Well Doctor.

230. Tomorrow night, on Halloween, me and the boys

231. are gonna be playing a special show at 11:59 p.m..

232. So all you kids need to be there and rock 'n' roll.

233. Rock 'n' roll that's right.

234. You heard it hear first on the Rock Block.

235. So if you headbangers wanna get out there

236. and rock with Demon Inferno just...

237. Now that would be a bitching last Halloween together.

238. What are you doing?

239. Listen, we wanna see this band live right.

240. Yeah.

241. And we have to go trick or treating for Barnhart.

242. So, why don't we kill two birds with one stone.

243. How?

244. We take a car, drive towards the concert.

245. Stop by some town on the way, trick or treat.

246. Barnhart didn't say that the goods couldn't be candy.

247. It's the ultimate screw you to her from the both of us.

248. Yeah, but what about your dad?

249. Listen, he said it himself okay.

250. Once school ends then everything changes.

251. Look at this opportunity.

252. A Demon Inferno concert and trick or treating.

253. This could be the night that makes us legends in this town.

254. One last hurrah.

255. One last hurrah.

256. Well, um, Sam was just saying

257. how he'd like to see Demon Inferno tomorrow night

258. and I was wondering if y'all liked to tag along.

259. One last hurrah.

260. Me, seriously?

261. Going to see Billy Michaels live?

262. My shift ends in 15, we'll talk.

263. Thanks Sam.

264. What?

265. So, how do we score a ride there?

266. Look.

267. Alright so Chris, I was thinking.

268. Tomorrow being our one month anniversary and everything

269. maybe we could do something special.

270. Something other than hiding from everyone at the drive-in.

271. Nikki babe, we'll go do something special soon.

272. I promise.

273. Okay.

274. So is there anything you had planned for me tonight?

275. Uh well, you mean something like this?

276. I might say that's something.

277. Okay.

278. Oh!

279. Oh Nikki's ta-ta tittys.

280. Ah yeah.

281. What the hells guys?

282. I was just getting to second base.

283. Yeah you were.

284. Hey listen, can we borrow your van?

285. What?

286. Got another lawn gate or something?

287. You know half your shits still in the back

288. taking up space from last time.

289. No, no, no, it's not a job but we'll pay you.

290. You still owe me from last time man.

291. Demon Inferno just rescheduled

292. their hometown concert for tomorrow.

293. Seriously?

294. - Yeah. - Oh this is perfect.

295. Yeah.

296. What does that mean?

297. Oh man it means, you bring the gas money

298. and I'll bring the party.

299. Hey Sam, I thought you said that turn back there

300. was supposed to be a shortcut?

301. Yeah I'm telling you it is.

302. You know what, here, check the map yourself.

303. He's right.

304. All we gotta do is follow this road.

305. Oh, uh, Chris.

306. We have to stop at the first town we come across

307. before the concert.

308. That way we can get this done okay?

309. Why don't you just buy the candy and give it Barnhart?

310. Oh no, Sammy boy here believes

311. candy given to you on All Hallows Eve isn't just candy.

312. It's candy with the devil's touch.

313. What?

314. Oh yeah, it's just one of his many rules of Halloween.

315. Shut the hell up.

316. What are you talking about?

317. Oh, you guys will just think they're stupid.

318. No, come on tell us.

319. What about the candy?

320. Okay.

321. So there's this rule about candy I have called The Treat.

322. It, uh, you know, say you knock on someones door

323. and say trick or treat.

324. They give you candy, they pick treat and all is well

325. and that's their payment to leave them alone

326. and not play a trick.

327. Therefore, it's more than just candy.

328. So it's like an offering?

329. Yeah, exactly.

330. Oh, alright okay, okay.

331. Well you got anymore?

332. Seriously?

333. Hey, not to cut you guys off

334. but I think there's a town up ahead.

335. Does that sign say Deathville?

336. Well guys,

337. I think we may have found our party spot.

338. Where is this town?

339. This must be like an old back entrance

340. or something, maybe that's why the road is closed.

341. I'm not finding it on the map.

342. I mean it's not uncommon.

343. A lot of these old towns have been forgotten

344. since the highways came through.

345. Well there you go Sammy boy, one last hurrah right?

346. Well there it is.

347. Your last hurrah.

348. This is Dr. Rock

349. reminding you to buy your tickets

350. for the Demon Inferno Halloween concert.

351. Buy your tickets tonight.

352. Alright Sam, your turn.

353. Truth or dare.

354. Hold on a second Nixer,

355. I just gotta know, out of curiosity.

356. Where's the old egging houses thing

357. fall into your list of rules Sammy boy?

358. Hey that's right, you never finished your list.

359. Come on, it's Halloween.

360. - Tell the rest of 'em. - Yeah come on Sam, tell us.

361. - Yeah dude. - Come on.

362. That one's called The Trick,

363. it's a means of causing mischief or retaliation

364. to whoever doesn't make offerings.

365. Tell me you got a rule about partying?

366. Yeah I do actually, it's called The Harvest.

367. It's a way for people to thank the gods for their crops

368. through celebration and sometimes even human sacrifices.

369. Is that it?

370. Yeah, that's it.

371. No, no no no, tell 'em the one you call The Golden Rule.

372. Ooh.

373. Golden Rule, that sounds pretty interesting.

374. Yeah, it's actually called Never Trick The Treat.

375. You see it's when a treat is given

376. and the trick's played on the giver afterwards.

377. See if you truly believe in evil,

378. you never want to break a deal on Halloween.

379. This is the one night of the year

380. the devil can come for you.

381. It's a good thing I don't believe in any of that shit.

382. I mean, it's just like that barn legend

383. we heard about growing up.

384. Yeah, how did that rhyme go again?

385. Oh it was something like

386. the Boogyeman will twist your tits backwards

387. whilst Hallow Jack plows your butt

388. and the Candy Corn Scarecrow busts his nut.

389. Cream corn.

390. You know it's bullshit right?

391. It's just some story made up by farmers

392. to keep kids off their properties.

393. Why do you think we're the only ones out here tonight?

394. What's your fascination with this story anyway Sam?

395. You mean obsession?

396. No, seriously.

397. Seriously?

398. My grandfather heard the story

399. when he was a teenager working in the mines.

400. So every year on Halloween he'd tell me the tale.

401. All October I couldn't go to the sleep with lights off.

402. All I could think about was

403. Hallow Jack carving my head out like a pumpkin,

404. and the Candy Corn Scarecrow ripping out my eyes.

405. But, it was the thought of the Boogeyman.

406. That was the thought that kept me from trick or treating.

407. So, I just kind of made up these rules

408. from traditions in books

409. and used them for protection on Halloween.

410. I don't know, stupid kids stuff I guess.

411. Yeah it is.

412. No it's not, it's cute.

413. Please a miner, a scarecrow, a pumpkin man?

414. Come on dude.

415. It's not even possible to carve someone's skull out anyways.

416. Guys can we just get back to the game.

417. Sam truth or dare?

418. Dare.

419. I think I've said enough truth for a night.

420. I dare you to go up to the barn door,

421. knock three times and say trick or treat.

422. Hey, that sounds like fun.

423. Why don't we all do it with him?

424. I mean it is Halloween after all.

425. Well guys we knock on the door

426. and say trick or treat.

427. Three times, that's the rule right?

428. How about if we just do it twice?

429. Dude, this legend in bogus.

430. Monster's aren't real.

431. Yeah.

432. Give me your hand Sam,

433. I'll show you once and for all

434. there's no such thing as the Boogeymman.

435. Trick or treat.

436. Trick or treat.

437. Trick or treat.

438. See Sam, nothing.

439. What the hell?

440. Dude, you said it was locked?

441. It was.

442. Hey, don't go in there.

443. Don't go in there man.

444. It's alright.

445. Dude, what is he doing?

446. What, what is he doing?

447. Yeah guys, maybe this really is the barn of the light.

448. Ah, too easy.

449. Son of a bitch.

450. Son of a bitch.

451. Russ, you okay?

452. Check this place out.

453. It's a lot bigger than it looks from the outside.

454. Check out the bitching mower.

455. That is totally grody.

456. Someone better check the expiration date on those.

457. Russ?

458. You okay man?

459. Boo!

460. Shit dude.

461. Ah that was good one.

462. Gross,

463. this must have been a slaughterhouse or something.

464. Why do you say that?

465. 'Cause it smells like rotten meat.

466. Yeah seriously, barf-a-rama.

467. I don't know boys,

468. but y'all should probably head back into town.

469. Times a ticking and y'all got about an hour

470. before this van books out.

471. Chill dude, we'll be back in time.

472. I'll grab you a costume Michelle.

473. What about you Russ, you coming along?

474. Nah, you go have fun.

475. I think I'm gonna hang here and veg.

476. And try to figure out

477. where the hell that smells coming from.

478. Alright, well have fun with that.

479. Damn.

480. Grody.

481. To the max.

482. Shit Sam, you scared the hell out of me.

483. Hey, kill that light, I found a fucking head yo.

484. Seriously Sam what the...

485. Oh shit!

486. So what's this big surprise?

487. Take your blindfold off.

488. Christopher, this is awesome.

489. When did you do all this?

490. I found it while you and your gal pal were chatting.

491. You know, I figured if someone went through all this trouble

492. to leave it out here, we might as well make some use of it.

493. You know, stare at the stars.

494. Snuggle up on this Hallow night.

495. You're too romantic.

496. But, the real reason I brought you out for, was this.

497. Oh my god, Christopher.

498. It's beautiful, thank you.

499. So, where did we leave off?

500. I believe you were rounding first base,

501. on your way to second.

502. That's right.

503. I think I just got my seventh inning stretch.

504. Got the uh, toilet paper?

505. Affirmative.

506. You got the eggs, you got the M-80's?

507. Double affirmative.

508. What do you boys have planned?

509. Ooh tonight it's about reclaiming what was taken from us.

510. Anybody that tells us we're too old

511. to go trick or treating is getting a face full of yolk

512. and a tree full of tee pee.

513. And the M-80's?

514. Them be for pumpkins.

515. Okay, alright.

516. Whoa, Wheary Falls huh?

517. Apparently that's Deathville's real name.

518. Trust me when I say it.

519. Stay away from them pumpkins.

520. This is how they watch us.

521. Oh no no, no no, every year.

522. Yeah well, you'll thank me tomorrow

523. when you're all still alive.

524. Oh hi kids, great costumes.

525. Oh, no way.

526. Okay so let me ask you a question.

527. Anything babe.

528. What's your whole take on Michelle and her virgin act?

529. It's, it's no act.

530. She's an honest to God good girl.

531. I think there's someone watching us.

532. Where?

533. You know I bet it's Russell, freaking pervert.

534. Bet that hose has been watching us the whole time.

535. Give me a sec babe.

536. I'm gonna go follow him and tell him something.

537. Chris, is that you?

538. This isn't funny.

539. Screw this, I'm going back to the van.

540. Russell you scared the shit out of me.

541. What are you wearing?

542. Can you even see out of that?

543. Anyways, Chris is looking for you and he's super pissed.

544. How'd you even get this thing on?

545. Help!

546. Oh man.

547. I'll tell you one thing for sure,

548. no one is ever gonna forget the tale of Sam and Josh.

549. Two guys took on Bitchy Barnhart and destroyed her.

550. I mean, that's one heck of a legacy to leave behind.

551. Kids are gonna be talking about you guys forever.

552. Do you really want your legacy in this town

553. to be the kid who was so obsessed with himself and Halloween

554. that he didn't know when to grow up?

555. Yeah.

556. Yeah, I was thinking of.

557. You mind waiting for up Josh,

558. I gotta go back and get those houses you know.

559. They had some pretty good treats.

560. And double up on some.

561. I'll be right back, I'm gonna get you for that.

562. So, what do you think?

563. He's great.

564. What?

565. Oh you mean trick, trick or treating.

566. It's, it's awesome, I, um.

567. If I told you something could you keep it a secret?

568. I think I can handle a secret.

569. Okay well, I've kind of had a crush on Sam for a while now

570. and I'm not, I'm not really sure about it.

571. What aren't you sure about?

572. I'm not sure if he likes me,

573. or if he's just being nice to me.

574. What do you think?

575. I think you should follow your heart on this one.

576. Hey penis breath,

577. you were pretty fast getting back here

578. but I know it was you watching us.

579. Oh, you're not Russell.

580. Hey uh, um.

581. I'm looking for the guy that was wearing those headphones.

582. What the fuck?

583. What the fuck?

584. Nikki!

585. Nikki!

586. Fuck man where?

587. Oh.

588. No, no, no, no fucking.

589. Holy shit.

590. I'm so sorry.

591. Oh shit.

592. Fuck.

593. Keep going.

594. So um, you having fun tonight?

595. No.

596. Oh.

597. It's exactly how I thought it would be, you?

598. I didn't think this night could get much radder, you know.

599. You being here, this is, this is the best Halloween ever.

600. I'm so glad you invited me.

601. Me too.

602. Well Sam boy, that's it.

603. Mission accomplished.

604. Damn Sam, look at your candy sack.

605. Did you really go back to every house for seconds?

606. This, this is nothing.

607. What's in it, let me see.

608. I don't think that...

609. Is that Chris?

610. Hey have you seen anyone

611. dressed like the devil and the grim reaper?

612. Oh what.

613. Oh shit.

614. Now why would Chris be running down the street?

615. Come on guys let's go.

616. Oh.

617. Hey what the hell man?

618. Did that guy just steal your candy sack?

619. Yeah.

620. Well what are we waiting for dude.

621. Yeah but, did you see their faces?

622. Yeah Sam, they're dressed like your demons.

623. So we gonna cover their faces in egg yolk or what?

624. Let's just forget about it guys,

625. we don't know these people.

626. Dammit, there was more than just candy in that bag.

627. Let's go to the school house party

628. I heard people talking about.

629. I'm sure there's gonna be

630. candy with the devils touch on it there.

631. Fine, but only for five minutes and then we gotta split.

632. We can't miss this concert.

633. Hey.

634. Wait up.

635. Hey you, don't touch that dial.

636. There's much more madness to come

637. here at Monster Madness on Channel Three.

638. There's a radio on the truck.

639. Hmm?

640. More trick or treaters.

641. This gasoline truck

642. came speeding right across the road.

643. Hmm.

644. Their must've been 10, 15 of these things

645. chasing after it.

646. You kids scared me to death.

647. Your costumes are great, they're so realistic.

648. I bet you want some more apples don't you.

649. Did you come in here for some more apples?

650. Here you go.

651. Harvest Hootenanny.

652. Alright.

653. Hello everyone, it's good to see all your faces

654. out there in the crowd tonight again this year.

655. I won't make this long

656. 'cause I know we're all eager to enjoy ourselves.

657. Tonight marks the 30th anniversary

658. of what's become known as the Annual Harvest Hootenanny.

659. Who's ready to let the festivities continue?

660. Thank you preacher.

661. Here's one you all know.

662. Sing along with me.

663. You're the guy who likes to smash pumpkins huh?

664. Indeed.

665. George Hayward's the name.

666. Smashing them pumpkins is the best way

667. to keep those god damn demons from coming into town.

668. Wait.

669. What did you just say?

670. Wait a minute, you two don't look familiar at all.

671. It's, it's the costumes.

672. It throws everyone off.

673. What were you just saying?

674. Something about those damn demons?

675. That children's rhyme has glorified those beasts

676. for way too long now.

677. So I'm gonna tell you guys this for your own protection.

678. You see, the part many folks don't realize is,

679. it was the devil himself that sent those creatures here

680. to take the flesh of the living back to hell.

681. Okay, see you in a few, bye.

682. Matthew.

683. The miner, the one they call the Boogeyman.

684. He's the Devil's right hand man.

685. In the beginning he was in charge of digging

686. that godforsaken tunnel out of hell into our world.

687. You're probably too young to remember

688. the mining incident in the 30's.

689. But I believe those miners stumbled upon that tunnel.

690. Oh yeah, so that's why he's dressed like a miner too.

691. Digging holes and stuff, yeah.

692. What, what do you know about Hallow Jack?

693. The pumpkin man?

694. Oh he's the watcher.

695. He can take anyone of those pumpkins out of his patch

696. and use them for his eyes to watch over the land.

697. He signals the other ones of approaching flesh.

698. So he's like a, he's like a guard dog huh?

699. So that's why you were smashing pumpkins.

700. Or just because he's a crazy drunk.

701. But, let's just.

702. Tell us what you know about uh, the Candy Corn Scarecrow.

703. The straw man, well he's the protector of the harvest.

704. He makes sure the crops grow right and stay safe.

705. He'll chew up anything with those rotten teeth of his,

706. that try to enter that ground, to harm that corn.

707. So how exactly do you know so much about all this again?

708. Because, when I was a younger boy

709. I watched them slaughter my best friend Shirley.

710. I'm sure y'all realize by now

711. that no one around here believes me.

712. They all think that she died from some equipment accident

713. that night at the barn.

714. So why didn't they kill you?

715. I don't know.

716. It's like they just didn't see me or something.

717. Where you wearing a mask or something?

718. Come on, this guy's obviously had one too many.

719. Maybe I have son, but I've earned it.

720. For the last three decades, I've done everything I could

721. to keep those creatures from coming into town.

722. But nobody here appreciates it because nobody believes it.

723. I can relate.

724. Here you go boys.

725. Thanks Michelle.

726. Hmm-mm.

727. Thanks.

728. So, if you've seen these monsters

729. then you know where the barn is?

730. Sam we gotta jam, we don't even have tickets yet.

731. Would you stop spazzing about the concert for one minute?

732. You know what?

733. I've had enough.

734. I know you're hoping for some validation from this guy,

735. but you need to accept it Sam.

736. Your dad's right.

737. You need to grow up and forget about all this crap.

738. Are you kidding me?

739. You too?

740. Okay boys let's just chill out

741. before we say something we regret.

742. No it's okay Michelle.

743. Go ahead Sam, what's your damage?

744. Ever since your dad died

745. you've been this completely different person.

746. Oh yeah.

747. You just want me to believe in all this

748. Halloween legend mumbo-jumbo, that's all this is about.

749. But while we're being honest,

750. why don't you inform Michelle here

751. that I'm the reason she came along.

752. Because you weren't gonna ask her.

753. What?

754. Is that true Sam?

755. Kind of.

756. It's not like I didn't want you to come along.

757. I'm going back to the van.

758. Michelle wait.

759. Well how about this whole trick or treating punishment

760. was for me and for me alone.

761. You didn't have to come along.

762. So you lied to me?

763. You made me dress up like an idiot?

764. Hey man, you made the assumption.

765. Unbelievable.

766. For years I've saved your ass.

767. Well guess what, I'm out.

768. And I'm keeping the candy, so suck it.

769. Fine.

770. Go.

771. Sam!

772. Chris?

773. What are you, what are you doing here?

774. Russell, Nikki, they're all dead man.

775. The legends real, I saw the Boogeyman.

776. I watched him eat a fucking face burger

777. made out of Russell's head.

778. What?

779. Three of 'em, just like the legend said,

780. they followed me into town.

781. Now everybody's gone, they're all dead.

782. Yeah!

783. Here's another one for ya.

784. Holy shit.

785. You burned me good.

786. I'm gonna go get my candy back now.

787. Hey ugly.

788. Jokes over buddy, I want my candy back now.

789. Are you deaf penis?

790. Give me the bag.

791. Come on, come on.

792. Go, go come on!

793. Oh my god!

794. What do you want you freak?

795. Screw this guys, I'm going back to the van.

796. Stop.

797. Oh my god!

798. Oh my God!

799. What are they doing?

800. They're collecting their treats.

801. What do you think this night's all about?

802. That flesh is for the devil.

803. I knew it was only a matter of time

804. before they'd come into town for a feeding.

805. Is there anyway to stop them?

806. You can't.

807. As long as there's flesh to take back.

808. They're not gonna stop

809. 'til whoever knocked on that doors ground meat.

810. We gotta find Michelle before those creatures do.

811. There is one more option boys.

812. They only have 'til midnight.

813. So if I can stop 'em from collecting,

814. maybe there's a chance that'll stop the feeding.

815. Come on.

816. Come on.

817. Get back.

818. Back.

819. Come on.

820. We gotta help him.

821. How man?

822. They'll kill us.

823. I don't know.

824. Think, you know all the traditions.

825. Just give me a minute to think.

826. Put your mask on.

827. Look around man, no one else is left standing

828. they aren't dressed scary.

829. Oh shit, Jesus Christ.

830. Holy shit that worked.

831. I tried boys.

832. They were just too strong together.

833. If you want any chance of saving your friends,

834. you gotta get back to that barn.

835. Here, I don't know what this is,

836. it was on the miner's neck.

837. It might be important.

838. I found this too.

839. I'm a goner boys.

840. You freed me from this burden.

841. Just do me one more favor.

842. Send those motherfuckers back to hell.

843. The plan is we stop the feeding.

844. Shouldn't we be searching the barn

845. for Michelle and Chris first?

846. No.

847. If we go in that barn we're all goners.

848. You saw what happened to George

849. when he took them all on at once.

850. Wait.

851. He said they were all protectors of different places.

852. And what does that have to do with anything?

853. We go to the places they protect

854. and we call them out one by one.

855. So how do we get their attention?

856. We follow my rules.

857. We knocked on that barn door and we said trick or treat.

858. And guess what?

859. They didn't give us a treat.

860. So we give them a trick.

861. Exactly.

862. Well, here's the pumpkin patch.

863. I guess this is where

864. Hallow Jack waits for a person's flesh.

865. How are we gonna draw him out?

866. Here, here give me an egg.

867. Give me an egg.

868. Come on man, come on, hurry, give me an egg.

869. This ought to piss him off.

870. It's not even possible

871. to carve someone's skull out anyways.

872. Did you hear that?

873. What?

874. Josh?

875. What's up?

876. Huh?

877. It doesn't just see through the pumpkins,

878. it becomes them.

879. Josh, we need to start smashing pumpkins.

880. Is that all of 'em?

881. Yeah I'm pretty sure.

882. Well that was easy.

883. Yeah.

884. What the?

885. What the hell is this?

886. Josh?

887. Sam?

888. Go!

889. Josh, Josh quick.

890. Pump it, pump it.

891. It's stuck.

892. Just pump it!

893. I can't believe that worked.

894. I can't believe that worked.

895. Holy shit.

896. Come on.

897. It worked, it worked.

898. Ew.

899. Josh.

900. Light the M-80's.

901. Let's make some pumpkin pie.

902. See you later alligator.

903. We did it.

904. I can't believe that worked.

905. Now what?

906. Uh, we get to the corn field.

907. Come on let's burn this mother down.

908. Shh, shh.

909. Did you hear that?

910. Nikki.

911. Where are you you Candy Corn bastard!

912. Josh.

913. Come on!

914. Josh, shut up.

915. We don't know what else is out in that field.

916. Calm down.

917. I'm gonna kill you.

918. Yeah, yeah.

919. He's mine.

920. Eat shit and die.

921. That was for Nikki.

922. Sam, light up that corn stock.

923. Let's what this piece of shit straw man burn.

924. Josh!

925. Sam.

926. No!

927. Ew.

928. Josh?

929. Sam, Sam!

930. Josh!

931. Josh!

932. No!

933. Come back.

934. No.

935. No, no no no no.

936. Josh.

937. Josh.

938. I can't do this alone.

939. As I said before, a special evening is upon us.

940. It was not that long ago now,

941. but I can still remember the night

942. that He came to me

943. and said He had heard my unanswered prayers for help.

944. He said He would restore our soil

945. and help us bring back our harvest

946. if only we would help restore what had been taken from Him.

947. Now every Halloween, curious teenagers come to these doors

948. in search of our legend and to fall prey to our plan.

949. As I said before, a special evening is upon us.

950. Because at midnight tonight,

951. when the harvest moon shines at its brightest.

952. The Lord will rise from His pits to collect His treats.

953. He's especially going to like this one.

954. Come on my dear.

955. You are going to be the treat

956. that he saves 'til last.

957. Oh I see one of our protectors has returned.

958. Is that what's left of the teenagers?

959. Ah, then let the ceremony begin.

960. Oh Lord we offer these gifts to You.

961. - Except this virgins strength. - No.

962. For all that You have done for us

963. and a token of Your appreciation.

964. What the?

965. Everybody stand still.

966. Don't move or I'll cut his head off,

967. just like I did your scarecrow.

968. Son, I think you're outnumbered.

969. Sam!

970. You're still alive.

971. It's time to harvest bitch.

972. Get away from her.

973. Come on.

974. Josh, come on let's go.

975. I got it Sam, just get in the van and go.

976. What?

977. Someone's gotta stay and make sure the feeding ends.

978. Just go.

979. - No! - Both of you.

980. Come on.

981. Take this.

982. Okay.

983. Get in the van.

984. I need you to wear this.

985. Sam, I know he said to go but we can't leave him.

986. They need you now, okay.

987. You've become part of the feeding.

988. If you don't go, it won't end.

989. Alright look, you're gonna drive.

990. You're gonna drive as far as you can.

991. You're gonna find a payphone,

992. you're gonna call for help and you're gonna keep driving.

993. No, I'm not gonna leave you here.

994. You have to.

995. If I don't make it back, make sure Barnhart gets this.

996. I wanna be remembered for doing the right thing.

997. Now go.

998. Drive.

999. Why would you do this?

1000. You're supposed to be a man of God.

1001. I am a man of God.

1002. Just not your God.

1003. He betrayed us and left us with nothing.

1004. Well what's the point in having a harvest

1005. if your whole town is dead.

1006. What are you talking about?

1007. Your protectors.

1008. They did a lot more killing than protecting

1009. at your town dance tonight.

1010. Impossible.

1011. Well they're all dead now.

1012. You may have convinced them

1013. the barn was condemned and dangerous.

1014. But they didn't believe in the legend

1015. and that's what made them weak and helpless.

1016. Hey.

1017. I wouldn't do that if I were you.

1018. Sam.

1019. What are you doing here?

1020. Where's Michelle?

1021. I sent her to go get help.

1022. But we gotta bigger fish to fry than him.

1023. Give me the weedkiller.

1024. The Boogeyman's still out there man.

1025. Oh Heavenly Father

1026. I pray for Your guidance and protection.

1027. Bless this festival with your presence

1028. and purify everything it touches.

1029. No!

1030. Is that all the flesh?

1031. The rest of it is in the basement.

1032. It's almost midnight and you'll never find the key.

1033. You mean this key?

1034. Fools do you realize the flesh...

1035. - Josh! - You must be...

1036. What did I just do?

1037. He's one of them.

1038. You did what you had to do.

1039. Listen it's almost midnight man.

1040. We've gotta to the basement and get the rest of that flesh.

1041. Hey, I got it, I got it right here.

1042. Give me the tank.

1043. I found it.

1044. No!

1045. I'm not afraid of you anymore.

1046. What?

1047. Sam!

1048. Sam, Sam!

1049. Is he dead?

1050. Yeah, he's, he's dead.

1051. What about the flesh?

1052. It's done.

1053. I think I found the hole to hell.

1054. We gotta go come on.

1055. Come on, we gotta go.

1056. Come on!

1057. Come on.

1058. Wait, what's that smell?

1059. Dude, the barn's on fire.

1060. You gotta be kidding me,

1061. there's gotta be another way out.

1062. You gotta be kidding me.

1063. There's no doors, there's no windows.

1064. It's over Josh, there's no way out.

1065. Hey Boogeyman.

1066. Trick or treat bitch.

1067. It's over.

1068. We stopped it.

1069. So no more feeding?

1070. No more feeding.

1071. But we still gotta find a way out of here.

1072. Oh, Sam.

1073. I think I need to sit down.

1074. Okay, come on.

1075. Michelle went to go find help.

1076. Someone will come for us.

1077. You know, if we make it out of here alive,

1078. I don't think I'm gonna go trick or treating again.

1079. Yeah me either.

1080. Hmm, I actually think I might

1081. start going back to Church on Sunday.

1082. What time is it?

1083. It's 11:59.

1084. I thought you said it was over.

1085. We followed all your rules Sam, what's going on?

1086. We're not done yet.

1087. The flesh was the devil's treat

1088. in return for the town's harvest.

1089. We tricked the treat.

1090. We broke the Golden Rule.

1091. So, you think we'll still be legends after tonight?

1092. Yeah, but with our luck they'll probably just remember us

1093. as the Gardeners From Hell.