The Banana Splits Movie (2019)

1. Taft Studios presents "The Banana Splits."

2. Starring Fleegle..

3. Bingo..

4. Drooper..

5. Snorky.

6. And featuring Stevie.

7. Harley, what are you doing?

8. - Why did you scream? - Because you scared me.

9. Hey, Drooper. Mail's here.

10. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!

11. It's the middle of the night. Why are you awake?

12. I'm too excited. I can't go to sleep.

13. It's not your birthday yet.

14. It's past midnight.

15. Okay.

16. It is your birthday, but we're not celebrating it yet.

17. Come on. Let's go. Let's get you back to bed.

18. Mom.

19. Um, uh, what time is it?

20. It's past your curfew. That's what time it is.

21. Mom, I'm-I'm 19. Why do I have to be home by midnight?

22. Because I wanna know that you're safe before I go to bed.

23. I worry about you, Austin.

24. Just, please don't tell Mitch, okay?

25. I can't handle another one of his lectures.

26. Okay.

27. Just promise me that you won't mess with him tomorrow.

28. I just really want your brother's birthday

29. to be perfect.

30. Yeah, so do I. Me too.

31. Okay.

32. - Goodnight. - Goodnight.

33. The flu? Really?

34. You sure?

35. Wow. Both hands. Okay.

36. Um, well, I..

37. Please tell Duncan I hope he feels better.

38. Okay, bye. Duncan has the flu.

39. He's not gonna be able to come with us.

40. Harley's gonna be so disappointed.

41. So invite one of his other friends.

42. He doesn't have any other friends.

43. Duncan's the only one he plays with.

44. Really?

45. There's gotta be someone else we can invite.

46. There's not too many kids his age

47. that still like that show.

48. It's because it's stupid, Beth.

49. It's his favorite show

50. and I bought tickets five months ago

51. so like it or not

52. we are going to a live taping

53. of "The Banana Splits."

54. Great.

55. Oh!

56. - 'Hello.' - Hi.

57. This is Harley's mom calling.

58. What are you doing?

59. Um, looking for my other sock.

60. Thought, thought maybe it got mixed up

61. 'with yours, but it didn't.'

62. So you weren't stealing money from me?

63. No. I wasn't, Mitch.

64. Because you know if you need money

65. you can just ask me, right?

66. Okay. Can I have, uh, 20 bucks?

67. No. Not a chance.

68. Dick.

69. - Yay! - Happy birthday, sweetheart.

70. Happy birthday, buddy.

71. Happy birthday, Harley.

72. Oh. A tiny wand.

73. No, no. Uh, push the button.

74. Your old one broke, so I got you a new one.

75. I love it, Austin.

76. We have another surprise for you. We...

77. Are going to "The Banana Splits."

78. Thank you so much, daddy.

79. - You're the best. - Harley, we talked about this.

80. You're too old to call me daddy, okay?

81. There's five tickets. Can Duncan come?

82. Oh, Duncan is sick, sweetheart

83. but I called another one of your friends

84. and they are so excited to go.

85. I don't wanna see "The Banana Splits."

86. Oh, Zoe, come on. It was nice enough that they invited you.

87. - We're not even friends. - Well, maybe he wants to be.

88. Mom, he's weird. He believes in fairies

89. and thinks he can talk to animals. Please don't make me.

90. It's his birthday and you're going

91. and that's final.

92. But that show's for babies.

93. Oh, and suddenly you're so mature.

94. You have bunnies on your undies.

95. Go upstairs and get dressed.

96. They're coming to get you in ten minutes.

97. Welcome to Taft Studios.

98. Hi. Yeah, we're here to see the, uh...

99. "The Banana Splits." We're seeing "The Banana Splits."

100. - It's my birthday. - He's a little excited.

101. Just need your ID.

102. You're just gonna follow the main avenue

103. down to Stage 12.

104. Hang a right, and then a left, and then two more rights.

105. Stage 1 is kind of tucked back in the corner.

106. Uh, you know what? It's all in the map.

107. Thanks.

108. I can't believe you actually get to work here.

109. Is this the best job in the world?

110. Do you know "The Banana Splits?"

111. Beth, those wings are staying in the car.

112. You know, sometimes at night

113. when I'm the only one here

114. I see the Splits riding around in their little cars

115. laughin' and singin'.

116. - Really? - He's playing with you, Harley.

117. 'Harley, you excited?'

118. 'I really wanna meet Snorky.'

119. 'Zoe, did you ever dream'

120. 'that you'd get to meet the Banana Splits?'

121. 'No?'

122. 'No, I did not.'

123. "The Banana Splits" is me and Austin's favorite show.

124. 'Really?'

125. 'So how long have you been watching'

126. ' "The Banana Splits?"'

127. 'Uh..'

128. 'I'm-I'm-I'm sure she, she really loves the show.'

129. 'I hope Snorky does the Snorky Shuffle.'

130. 'It's so funny.'

131. 'He's totally gonna do it. He does it every time.'

132. 'Sounds awesome.'

133. 'Oh, map says Stage 1'

134. 'is the oldest sound stage at Taft Studios.'

135. 'This is going to be the best birthday ever.'

136. 'I'm never gonna forget it.'

137. Who's excited to see "The Banana Splits?"

138. Hi, I'm Paige.

139. The audience page. Paige, the page.

140. Guess you could say I was born to do this job.

141. God, I hope not.

142. Please have your tickets ready

143. and I'll get you checked in lickety-splits.

144. - Oh! - That's lame.

145. I know it's bad. They make me say it.

146. Cell phones, please.

147. 'Thank you. Thank you so much.'

148. Parker, seriously? Stop chewing on your hair.

149. I just paid $70 for that blow up

150. and straighten up.

151. What's up, you guys? Check it out, right?

152. We're here at the Taft Studios.

153. The home of "The Banana Splits" since 1969.

154. This is hallowed ground, my friends.

155. And we're gonna be going live all day long.

156. - Behind the scenes. - Oh, yeah.

157. Actually, there's no cell phones allowed inside, so..

158. Seriously?

159. I just told all my followers

160. like all of them, that I'll be going live.

161. Well, you can tell your..

162. 218 followers all about it after the show.

163. Yeah. I'm not giving up my phone.

164. - Then you can't come in. - Thadd.

165. It's fine.

166. Thanks. Enjoy the show.

167. Harley!

168. What the hell were you thinking?

169. Mom, did you see that?

170. I waved at Snorky, but he didn't wave back.

171. You have to be more careful than that.

172. Mom, Snorky wouldn't hurt me.

173. He's my favorite.

174. Zoe, which one's your favorite?

175. - The cat. - There isn't a cat.

176. Uh, she means the.. Drooper, the lion.

177. Yeah. That's what I meant. The lion.

178. I can't believe he just ran out like that.

179. - Mitch. - Huh?

180. Hey, I need that. It's work.

181. Harley was almost hit by a Banana Buggy.

182. Jesus, that would have been an embarrassing way to die.

183. - Phones, please. - No, no, no.

184. I-I need that for work.

185. Don't worry, they'll be safe in the production office

186. till after the show. Thank you.

187. Hey, uh, here you go.

188. You can put your number in there if you want.

189. I'm, I'm so sorry. I don't know why I said that.

190. I thought it would sound cool, like-like smooth.

191. - It didn't. - Okay.

192. Just take my phone, please.

193. I did.. Just hate myself.

194. - That was painful, bro. - Hmm. Yeah.

195. 'Yeah.'

196. How was your drive, boys?

197. You naughty splits.

198. You almost hit that little boy.

199. Someone's reflex subroutine

200. needs a little tweaking, hm?

201. We'll start with you, Drooper. Hmm.

202. 'You boys, get backstage.'

203. As you know..

204. The show must go on.

205. Let's get you updated, eh?

206. We don't want any hiccups today, do we?

207. Ah.

208. The script says giant hammer.

209. What I'm holding is a regular hammer.

210. No.. Tell Props I'm coming to them.

211. Where's Drooper?

212. Does anybody have a 20 on Drooper?

213. Damn it. Do I have to do everything?

214. - Rebecca, you got a minute? - No. I don't.

215. 'We're about to start and I'm a Split short.'

216. Okay, well, I was gonna do this gently

217. but since you're in a rush, I'm canceling the show.

218. What?

219. Uh, you probably heard about my promotion this morning?

220. No, I didn't. I'm a little busy, Andy.

221. Oh, are you?

222. Well, I'm the vice president of Programming now

223. and "The Banana Splits" doesn't really

224. represent my vision for the network.

225. Are you kidding? We're still a huge hit.

226. Yeah, but it's old and stupid.

227. And I wanna do something cool and edgy

228. so today's your last show.

229. But we have tapings lined up for weeks.

230. Not anymore.

231. Somebody find Karl and tell him to get Drooper out on stage.

232. Welcome to "The Banana Splits."

233. Yay!

234. Whoo! Hoo-hoo!

235. Now, I want you all to check your tickets

236. 'because we've got a little extra treat for some of you.'

237. If you've got stars in the back, then you're in luck.

238. You get to stay after the show and meet "The Banana Splits."

239. And Stevie.

240. A-and Stevie. Don't forget Stevie.

241. - Mom, hurry. - I know, honey. I'm checking.

242. Yes! We got stars. We got stars.

243. Oh, my God. Thadd, Thadd!

244. Baby, we are gonna meet the Splits.

245. - We didn't get stars. - It's okay, honey.

246. 'Taft Studios presents "The Banana Splits."'

247. Whoo!

248. 'Starring Fleegle..'

249. '... Snorky..'

250. '... Bingo..'

251. Bingo!

252. 'Drooper.'

253. 'Drooper.'

254. 'Drooper?'

255. - Where the hell is it? - It just..

256. Just go out there and say

257. Drooper got caught in Mr. Walterscheid's fence again.

258. I'll make sure Karl has him ready for the next scene.

259. Cue announcer.

260. 'And featuring Stevie.'

261. Is that man dressed like a child?

262. That's Stevie. Nobody really likes him.

263. Guys, we have to get Drooper

264. out of Mr. Walterscheid's fence again!

265. 'Our first scene will begin in a few minutes, folks.'

266. 'So sit tight.'

267. - Where are you going? - Bathroom, Mitch.

268. Want a full report when I get back?

269. Spoiler alert. It's a dump.

270. Don't be long.

271. Alert Rebecca that Drooper is functioning at 100%.

272. I'm sending him to the stage.

273. 'It's Sloppy Time!'

274. 'Give it up for Ashley and Trevor!'

275. 'Watch out for that slide.'

276. 'Oh, there goes Ashley.'

277. That should have been you out there.

278. I don't wanna get messy.

279. You wanna get discovered or not?

280. Because if you're not committed to this

281. you tell me right now.

282. 'And they're coming up to the balance beam.'

283. 'Watch out for those eyes!'

284. 'Oh, and Trevor's down for the count.'

285. 'Only one left. Can she find the blue key?'

286. I don't know what's taking Austin so long.

287. I'll go find him.

288. No, no, no, no. You don't have to. It's okay.

289. No, it's fine. I've gotta check in the office, anyway, so..

290. Really? It's Harley's birthday.

291. You can't forget about work for one day?

292. I'm just gonna check in.

293. You don't even have your cell phone.

294. Then I'll find one right after I find Austin.

295. Okay.

296. 'And Ashley's moving up the ladder.'

297. Ashley! Ashley! Ashley!

298. It's time to fly.

299. She took it down to Hammer Town.

300. For the love of God, can somebody find Stevie?

301. He's in the next scene.

302. Stevie.

303. - Are you drunk? - No.

304. I'm buzzed.

305. After this, I'll be drunk.

306. You want one?

307. Come on, they need you on set.

308. Paige.

309. The page.

310. I just got that.

311. Come on, have a drink with me. One drink.

312. - Stevie, seriously... - They wait for the puppets.

313. They can wait for me.

314. 'You know that page uniform is..'

315. really workin' for ya.

316. It's working for me too.

317. Hey. Excuse me.

318. Dude, I'm not doing autographs right now.

319. Okay, I actually wanted to talk to her.

320. Tell that bitch Rebecca I'll be there.

321. On cue... like always.

322. I'm sorry.

323. Hope I didn't get you in any trouble.

324. Just 'cause your fits build on a kid's show

325. it doesn't mean you get to act like an epic asshole.

326. Absolutely.

327. Probably, um..

328. I'm not really in show business.

329. - So I don't know... - You're from the audience.

330. You're not supposed to be back here.

331. Yeah, um, that is true.

332. Um, look, it's my little brother's birthday

333. and he's crazy about this show

334. but we didn't get any stars on our tickets.

335. He's like a great kid and, and you know

336. meeting the Splits would be huge.

337. So I need to know

338. if there's maybe a way to, like, hook us up.

339. - Hook you up? - Y-yeah.

340. I stole a $20 bill from my stepdad's sock drawer, you know.

341. That's in it for you if that makes a difference, seriously.

342. Just stick around after the show. I'll take care of you.

343. For real? Seriously?

344. This is, um, this is, this is very, very cool.

345. Yeah, you can return to your seat now.

346. Right, yeah, um, which way would that be? I..

347. Follow me.

348. Okay.

349. Do they usually just walk around on their own like that?

350. Not really.

351. Come on.

352. Show time, bitches.

353. 'Glen, I told her it's done.'

354. 'The show's cancelled.'

355. 'She was pissed. What do you think?'

356. Ha, and ask me if I care?

357. Of course, I don't.

358. Th-this show is gonna free up two stages.

359. Not to mention, what we can do with all that tech.

360. We're gonna tear those fuzzy bastards apart

361. and sell 'em to the theme park division.

362. "The Banana Splits" show is done.

363. It's my call.

364. Oh, oh, and, and Glen..

365. live with it.

366. Hey!

367. Are you kidding me?

368. What the hell is goin' on?

369. Hey, everybody, it's time

370. to spin the wheel of endings.

371. I wonder how the show's gonna end.

372. It's gonna end on rock out. They always end on rock out.

373. Why don't you spin it, Drooper?

374. Might be the last time you ever do.

375. Okay, Stevie.

376. Rock out! Rock out! Rock out! Rock out!

377. Rock out! Rock out!

378. Don't worry, mom, I found Mitch.

379. 'I found him.'

380. Wh-where were you?

381. You'll see.

382. Seemed on purpose.

383. Drooper wouldn't hurt anybody on purpose.

384. No, honey, I think it's just part of the show.

385. 'Give it up for the Banana Splits.'

386. 'And don't forget Stevie!'

387. Thank you for coming, everyone.

388. If you have a star in your tickets, sit tight.

389. The rest of you, Doug will show you out.

390. Hope you enjoyed the show.

391. When we get down there

392. I'll find a producer and introduce you.

393. - Don't freeze up. You hear me? - Yes, daddy.

394. You excited?

395. Huh? Yeah.

396. Yeah, of course.

397. Your parents follow you on Instagram, right?

398. Yeah. Why?

399. I don't know. It's just a random thought.

400. - Sorry, we couldn't stay. - It's okay.

401. It was still a great birthday present.

402. Where do you think you're going?

403. We don't have stars on our tickets.

404. Do you really think the Banana Splits aren't gonna wanna meet

405. their biggest fan on his birthday?

406. How did you know?

407. Um, sorry, how long is this gonna take?

408. - Gotta get Zoe back home. - Oh.

409. I don't need to get home.

410. Okay, great. Then let's meet the Splits.

411. Follow me.

412. Oh, hey, I'll, uh, I'll be right behind you.

413. Oh, look, it's my cast-mates.

414. I was just drinking a toast..

415. to our cancellation.

416. This show's done

417. because the network thinks you suck.

418. You'll never perform in front of an audience..

419. ever again.

420. Cheers to you.

421. I've hated every minute of working with you assholes.

422. You gotta be kidding me.

423. Karl's stupid update didn't work.

424. Big surprise.

425. Get the hell out of here.

426. Goddamn robots.

427. '"The Banana Splits Adventure Hour"'

428. 'was first conceived in 1967'

429. as a send-up of another popular TV show from the era.

430. Anyone know which one?

431. Duh. "The Monkees."

432. You know, "The Banana Splits" was supposed

433. to be called "Banana Bunch."

434. But there was already another movie by that name.

435. Actually, it was a children's book.

436. Actually, I'm a pretty big fan

437. so I think I'd know.

438. Thadd, let it go.

439. It's an incredibly sweet thing you did for your brother.

440. Hey, his dad sucks, but I love him.

441. - And his mom's okay too. - Cut me some slack.

442. And why I would I do that?

443. Because he raised you like a son for the last 11 years.

444. Mom, mom, the guy's a selfish prick. He hates me.

445. He barely remembered his own son's birthday.

446. He doesn't even wanna be here. He'd rather be at work.

447. - It's not true. - Then where is he?

448. Just stay with your brother. I'll be right back.

449. Are you excited?

450. 'Everyone, stay clam.'

451. I'm sure it's just... "The Banana Splits."

452. Oh, my God.

453. If everybody can get in a line, I'll make sure

454. you all get photos with the Splits.

455. - Excuse me, miss? - Uh, one moment, sir.

456. Jonathan, please. Call me Jonathan.

457. Jonathan, you're next. Just wait your turn.

458. Uh, miss, excuse me. Miss?

459. Go to our website to download the photos.

460. Dude, what?

461. I really need to see the producer.

462. What's on your cheek?

463. Oh, I'm not sure.

464. Must have rubbed off of Drooper.

465. I bet it's strawberry from one of the Sloppy Time pies.

466. Nope, that's not strawberry.

467. I don't know what that is.

468. I really think if the producer saw Parker, he would...

469. - She. - She.

470. She would realize that she had a star

471. standing right in front of her.

472. She'd probably even give you a promotion

473. for making the introduction.

474. - I can't do that. - But..

475. It's not gonna happen.

476. O-okay.

477. I understand.

478. Hey, guys, are you excited to get your photos?

479. - Yes. - Come on, Parker.

480. We'll have to find the producer ourselves.

481. Hey! You can't go back there.

482. - This is perfect. Come on. - What are you doing?

483. Let's check out the rest of this place.

484. We can go live from another set.

485. I don't think we should.

486. Babe, it will be a moment

487. we'll remember forever.

488. - I promise. - Okay.

489. What about our pictures?

490. Um, I'm sure she'll be back.

491. Besides, this is kind of awesome.

492. You have the Splits all to yourself.

493. Come on.

494. Hi, I'm Harley. This is my friend Zoe.

495. Say hi.

496. Uh, sup?

497. Why is Drooper all wet?

498. Where's Snorky?

499. It's my kid's birthday. I can't get away.

500. There's nothin' I can do. I'm sorry.

501. Hey. What are you doin' out here?

502. 'I've been looking all over for you.'

503. Um, I told you I had to call in to the office.

504. There's some, some stuff going down.

505. You're making Kara work on a Saturday?

506. But I didn't say Kara. Why, why would you say Kara?

507. 'Cause she's your assistant.

508. Who else will be at the office?

509. Right. Yes, it was Kara.

510. Um, are we, are we ready to go yet?

511. Yup. Yeah. You wanna come in with me? We'll grab the kids.

512. - Sure. - Okay.

513. Beth, wait, no. Beth, please.

514. 'Beth, don't.'

515. - Oh, my God. - I can explain.

516. Like, how can you explain this?

517. Are you sleeping with her?

518. I can't believe this.

519. I swear it was just one time.

520. There's hundreds of these.

521. Sleeping with your assistant. God, you're such a cliche.

522. - Beth, look... - I knew it, man.

523. - I knew you were a scumbag. - You watch your mouth!

524. - Austin, go back inside. - No, no, no, no, don't.

525. You know what, she stands up for you

526. and she defends you and she tells me to give you a chance.

527. And the whole time you've been cheatin' on her?

528. - I should be, I should... - You should what?

529. - Okay, stop, stop, stop. - You should what, little boy?

530. You know what? You're just a 19-year-old burnout.

531. That's all you are.

532. - Your dad's lucky he didn't... - Don't talk about my dad.

533. Okay, stop, stop it! Go back inside, okay?

534. - What're you gonna do about it? - This is between us.

535. Us?

536. Beth, there's never been an us.

537. There was always Austin and then there was Harley.

538. Us.

539. What a joke.

540. You know what? You go inside and get the kids.

541. I'll be at the car, okay?

542. Us.

543. - Mom, mom, stop. Stop. - No, he is a dick.

544. Yeah, yeah, I know, okay?

545. Just wanted to be with somebody safe

546. so that you and Harley would never ever get hurt.

547. - I'm sorry. - No.

548. Don't, don't say that.

549. You know what? Let's just go get the kids, okay?

550. Yeah, yeah.

551. - 'Hello.' - Hey.

552. Guess whose night just freed up.

553. I can't believe I'm actually here.

554. I cant' believe I'm actually enjoying it.

555. I dare you to open that.

556. Why? What's gonna happen?

557. 'Open it. You'll see.'

558. Unless you're scared.

559. Ha.

560. - Come on. - Don't rush me.

561. Was something supposed to happen?

562. When Drooper does it, letters shoot out.

563. Well, uh, there's nothing here.

564. I never got to meet Snorky.

565. - Let's go find him. - Like a quest?

566. Sure.

567. Like a quest.

568. Let's go!

569. Let's go.

570. I told you, I never should have taken this job.

571. Now look, six years..

572. six years on a kid's show and I get fired.

573. I mean, where do I go from here?

574. Time to fly!

575. - A-are you the producer? - I'll call you back.

576. Something I can do for you?

577. It's more like what I can do for you.

578. Parker, do the thing.

579. Rebecca, I'm so sorry.

580. 'Parker, this is our shot.'

581. Stop.

582. That is disturbing.

583. Incredibly dated.

584. She can sing something else. What do you wanna hear?

585. - It doesn't matter. - 'But she's talented, right?'

586. She should be in the Sour Grapes Bunch or somethin'.

587. You have to put her in the show.

588. There is no show. We're canceled.

589. - What? - What?

590. Network pulled the plug.

591. So, take her junk somewhere else.

592. - Is that true? - Yeah.

593. Andy told me right before tonight's show.

594. - Who's Andy? - Head of the network.

595. Is he still here? I need to see him.

596. Thank you for the opportunity.

597. So I'm out of a job.

598. We all are.

599. Just get the meet-and-greets out of here

600. and we'll start wrapping out on Monday.

601. I can't believe it.

602. Thadd, this is amazing.

603. That's Snorky's circus and Bingo's jungle.

604. Holy crap.

605. That's Fleegle's Magic Shop.

606. Oh, my gosh.

607. FYI, the design is loosely modeled

608. of Davenport's Magic Shop in London.

609. This is like my whole childhood right here.

610. Babe, give me your phone.

611. What's up, you guys? It's your boy Thadd.

612. Mr. Thadastic to all my fans.

613. I'm here with the one and only Miss Poppy Glarady

614. and we're live on set of "The Banana Splits."

615. What up, everyone?

616. We're alone in Fleegle's Magic Shop.

617. I can't even.

618. Yo, check this out. You're gonna love this.

619. Hey, Pop?

620. Thadd, no.

621. Babe, I love you so much.

622. 'And I can't think of a better place than this.'

623. 'Will you marry me?'

624. Thadd, yes.

625. Yo, she said yes!

626. Oh.

627. What the hell?

628. Fleegle.

629. We just got engaged.

630. Hey.

631. 'Banana-cadabra!'

632. - What the hell, man? - Thadd, relax.

633. I think he's just doing a magic trick.

634. What are you doing?

635. Hey.

636. - Poppy, please! - Thadd.

637. - Thadd! - Let me out!

638. Please let him out, please.

639. No, please!

640. No! Let him out. Please!

641. Thadd. Thadd!

642. - What's going on? - 'No, please.'

643. - Let me out. - 'Thadd, please!'

644. Let me out!

645. No!

646. 'No!'

647. - Poppy. - 'No!'

648. - Stop! - Please.

649. - Thadd! - Aah!

650. Thadd.

651. 'No!'

652. 'No, please.'

653. No!

654. Please don't make me. Please!

655. No!

656. Ta-da!

657. No. No, please. No!

658. Get off of me! Get off!

659. Please, no!

660. - No. - 'Snorky?'

661. 'Here's the circus. He's got to be here.'

662. Fleegle!

663. Do you know where Snorky is?

664. Can you take us to him?

665. Harley really wants to meet Snorky.

666. Come on. You wanna meet Snorky. Don't ya?

667. Oh, Kara, you are killing me.

668. Daddy, I just wanna go home.

669. Not until I get you a real audition.

670. We've worked too hard to give up now. Hm?

671. Come on.

672. Are you ready to meet your next superstar?

673. Hey!

674. I'm talking to you.

675. Daddy, I'm scared.

676. You don't have to be scared, honey. It's just a puppet.

677. Where is everybody?

678. - They were all here. - They're not with you?

679. They're probably just exploring the rest of the sets.

680. - Harley! Zoe! - Shit.

681. Mom, uh, we'll find them. It's fine.

682. - You don't know that. Harley! - Shit.

683. - 'Zoe!' - I promise, they're okay.

684. Yeah, yeah, I know.

685. My mom just.. She sometimes gets this way.

686. We'll find them. Trust me.

687. Can't even get off the lot at this time of night.

688. Somebody help me!

689. Why are you doing this to me?

690. Help! There's this psycho tryin' to run me over!

691. Oh, thank God.

692. Hey.

693. Did you hear me?

694. 'Mom, Paige went to look for them.'

695. She knows this place better than anybody.

696. I can't believe Harley would just run off like that.

697. You know him. He's in his own world.

698. He was probably just excited.

699. If something happens to him, I..

700. This is.. I don't, I don't know if I can go through that again.

701. We are at a taping of "The Banana Splits."

702. Nobody's gonna die.

703. You weren't like this when dad was alive.

704. You were fearless.

705. I watched him die

706. and I couldn't stop it.

707. It wasn't your fault.

708. Bad things happen, you still..

709. You know, we still need to live.

710. I know that you think I worry too much.

711. 'And that our life is boring, but I..'

712. I am just trying to keep you guys all safe.

713. Did you find them?

714. Paige brought me up to speed on the whole situation

715. and I assure you everything is under control.

716. - Oh! - Oh, my God!

717. God, it's that stage dad.

718. Sir, can-can you hear me? What happened?

719. They attacked me.

720. - Who did? - Banana Splits.

721. Paige, call 911.

722. Go!

723. There has to be an explanation.

724. Th-the Banana Splits don't hurt people.

725. We have to get the kids.

726. Uh, okay, just take.. Keep-keep breathing.

727. What is this place?

728. This must be where they were built or something.

729. Is Snorky in here?

730. In there?

731. This is weird.

732. Hello? Snorky?

733. Get me out of here!

734. I brought friends.

735. We're gonna have so much fun!

736. Harley! Zoe!

737. Mom, this is crazy, right?

738. He loves this show. Maybe he's hiding somewhere.

739. He-he probably doesn't wanna leave.

740. Harley!

741. Where are you?

742. Come on. Come on, hurry.

743. Harley! Zoe!

744. Harley!

745. - What's that noise? - Bingo.

746. 'Mom!'

747. Austin!

748. Austin!

749. Mom!

750. Get out of here.

751. Run!

752. Time's almost up.

753. For you.

754. Mom, that was seriously badass.

755. Let's go find your brother.

756. Oh, my God.

757. He asked me to marry him.

758. Mom, I think she's lost it.

759. I'm so sorry.

760. I'm looking for my son and his friend.

761. Have you seen them?

762. - Fleegle took them. - What?

763. Where-where, where did there go?

764. Listen to me. Listen, it's not safe here for you.

765. You have to come with us, okay?

766. I won't leave Thadd.

767. I know how you feel. Trust me.

768. He would not want anything bad to happen to you.

769. You have to come with us right now.

770. Hey, you gotta let us out of here.

771. - I can't. - Of course, you can.

772. Just unlock the gate.

773. I tried to tell them that it's wrong

774. but they wouldn't listen.

775. 'Something went wrong with my update.'

776. They didn't listen to me now.

777. This is all the network's fault.

778. They shouldn't have taken away their show.

779. 'Then none of this would have happened.'

780. This show is all they have.

781. You built them, didn't you?

782. - Yes. - You love them, don't you?

783. - Yes. - I love them too.

784. They're my favorite. They make people happy.

785. That's why I built them.

786. But now they're hurting people.

787. You can stop this, but you have to let us out of here.

788. Come on!

789. Fleegle!

790. My precious boy. Who-who did this to you?

791. Hi, kids. Put on your hap-happiest faces

792. because "The Banana Splits" show is about to begin.

793. 'I can fix you. Wait.'

794. Where do you think you're going?

795. Help! Ah!

796. You'll never stop them!

797. The show must go on!

798. Everything's going to be okay.

799. The, the ambulance will be here soon.

800. Where the hell are they?

801. It's Sloppy Time!

802. Oh, no.

803. Stand down.

804. I'm ordering you to stand down.

805. No.

806. Damn it.

807. What's happening?

808. We..

809. We have to run the Sloppy Time course.

810. - Oh, come on. - Give me, give me your hand.

811. Don't stop now. You're almost there.

812. We're gonna make it.

813. Where's the blue key?

814. It's time to fly!

815. I, I did it.

816. I did it.

817. Don't hit the hammer.

818. She did it!

819. He took it down to Hammer Town.

820. Three cheers for Rebecca!

821. 'Hip hip hooray!'

822. Which way do we go?

823. It's locked.

824. I'll take him out. You guys run.

825. What are you doing? We can't trust him.

826. It's Snorky. He's different.

827. Are they doing the Snorky Shuffle?

828. This is some messed up stuff right here.

829. Please, Snorky.

830. Help us.

831. It's okay, guys.

832. Hey. Hey.

833. Hey, shh, don't worry.

834. You scared the hell out of me.

835. Are the police coming?

836. No, the phones don't work

837. and all the cell phones were smashed.

838. We have to find Fleegle. They took Harley and Zoe.

839. We have to stop them.

840. There must be a way to stop them.

841. Karl.

842. Come on.

843. Yo! Shit.

844. - Austin. Austin! Austin! - Don't you touch him!

845. Karl?

846. How do we stop the Banana Splits?

847. You can't.

848. You built them. There must be a way.

849. The show must go on.

850. It's in their programming.

851. They took my kids.

852. Your children are safe.

853. Mm, they're having a wonderful time.

854. Is that music?

855. Sounds like it's coming from down there.

856. Help me move this.

857. - What's down there? - The show.

858. Let's go.

859. What is that?

860. I was building a sister for my boys.

861. A fifth Banana Split?

862. Her name is Hooty.

863. We were gonna get married.

864. But then they killed him.

865. What are you doing?

866. Stop that! It's not for you.

867. 'Stay back!'

868. He's dead because of you.

869. 'Where's Poppy? She was right behind me.'

870. 'She'll catch up. Come on.'

871. What, uh, what is that in his eyes?

872. Bing-Bingo's drumsticks.

873. It's Doug. The other page.

874. They sent him out with the rest of the audience.

875. - Oh, Jesus. - It's only the adults.

876. Where are the children?

877. Let's go.

878. Ta-da!

879. Well, who could that be?

880. Look who I found. It's Stevie.

881. What the hell is this?

882. Isn't it wonderful, Stevie?

883. All of our friends are here.

884. Now the show can go on

885. 'forever and ever and ever!'

886. They're never gonna let them go.

887. They'll die in here.

888. We have to save those kids.

889. Hey, Stevie. Mail's here!

890. Shh.

891. Silly Stevie.

892. Smoking's bad for your health.

893. - I can't see Harley or Zoe. - Maybe they got away.

894. Oh, boy, it's time for..

895. - The wheel of endings. - The wheel of endings.

896. I'm the vice president of Programming.

897. You can't do this to me.

898. We have to hurry.

899. I wonder how the show is gonna end.

900. Guys.

901. Take it slow.

902. Oh, my God.

903. Great job, Snorky.

904. Put them with our other friends.

905. You can't do this. You're the Banana Splits.

906. The show must go on.

907. Snorky, please don't do this.

908. Banana split!

909. What, what's a banana split?

910. What's a banana split?

911. - What's a banana split? - I don't know.

912. It always lands on rock out.

913. Mom.

914. Everybody, close your eyes.

915. 'Close your eyes! Don't watch this.'

916. Come on, guys.

917. Austin, Paige, take the kids out.

918. Go.

919. I'm not gonna leave you behind.

920. Grab Harley and Zoey and go.

921. Go!

922. Come on.

923. Come on, you fuzzy son of bitch.

924. Drooper, mail's here.

925. - No, no, no, no, no! - 'Hey!'

926. - Mom. - I told you to leave.

927. I'm not leaving you.

928. No!

929. Mom!

930. Banana-cadabra, bitch!

931. This show is really not what I expected.

932. Come on, let's go.

933. Zoe!

934. - Hey, it's Harley. - Oh, they're okay.

935. Time's almost up.

936. 'Snorky!'

937. Snorky!

938. Harley, no!

939. Snorky.

940. You will always be my favorite.

941. - Mom? - Yeah.

942. Can I go to acting class?

943. Anything you want, my darling.

944. - Here you go, honey. - Thank you.

945. I'll be right back, okay, guys?

946. Okay.

947. You know, you're not as weird as I thought.

948. This show is weird. I'm awesome.

949. Yeah. You are.

950. So, um, I was kind of wondering after everything that happened

951. maybe, um, you could, um, give me your number?

952. 'Beth.'

953. Honey.

954. I got, I got hit by a car.

955. It was awful.

956. But it made me realize something.

957. I don't wanna be with Kara. I want you.

958. I love you, Beth.

959. I want a divorce.

960. Hey! Hey!

961. I'm injured!

962. Whoo! Hey!

963. I'm injured!

964. Oh, I don't believe this!

965. We've killed so many people.