The Apprentice (2024)

1. And I want to say this to the television audience

2. I've made my mistakes,

3. but in all of my years of public life,

4. I have never profited,

5. never profited from public service.

6. I've earned every cent.

7. And in all of my years of public life,

8. I have never obstructed justice.

9. And I think too that I can say

10. that in my years of public life,

11. I welcome this kind of examination

12. because people have got to know whether or not

13. their president's a crook.

14. Well, I'm not a crook.

15. I've earned everything I've got.

16. "Anti, Anti, Anti" by The Consumers

17. There's nothing like this place.

18. There's nothing like it.

19. You know, the Vanderbilts and the Kennedys,

20. they all came here.

21. Do... do you see the old guy over there

22. with the pretty young model?

23. That's Daniel K Ludwig,

24. the shipping magnate,

25. one of the only two billionaires

26. in the United States.

27. Then over here you got Si Newhouse.

28. He owns half of all the newspapers

29. and magazines in the country.

30. Anybody who is anybody comes here to this place.

31. There's nothing like it.

32. Why are you so obsessed with these people?

33. Well, I mean, I'm not obsessed with these people,

34. I just, uh...

35. I'm curious, you know, about people.

36. There's a skill to being a billionaire.

37. It's a... it's a talent,

38. you have to be born with it.

39. You have to have a certain gene, you know.

40. It's a pretty cool place.

41. Yeah, and they say I'm the youngest

42. member ever admitted.

43. That must be a big thing.

44. It is, it's a very big thing.

45. I'm just gonna go powder my nose.

46. Okay, sure.

47. Excuse me.

48. I'm Russell.

49. My friend wants to know if you'd join us for dinner.

50. Uh, well, I'm actually leaving, so, uh...

51. He's a long-time member.

52. He wants to congratulate you on passing

53. the selection committee.

54. Well, that's totally, uh, untrue.

55. Sonny Liston, was, uh, well, fine,

56. he was arrested, uh, nineteen times.

57. But, uh, the guy was a champion

58. SO, you can't, uh, blame him for it.

59. - Well, hello there. - How's it going?

60. - How are you? - I'm fine, thank you.

61. Have a seat.

62. We're not gonna bite.

63. There you go.

64. What's your name, handsome?

65. I'm Donald Trump.

66. Donald Trump, nice to meet you. Roy Cohn.

67. The Roy Cohn, from all the papers and everything?

68. That's right, uh, the Roy Cohn from all the papers,

69. that's right. - Yeah, you're brutal.

70. I'm brutal, that's right.

71. He's the guy who put the Rosenbergs in the chair.

72. The Rosenbergs in the fucking chair!

73. On that count, uh, guilty as charged.

74. But, uh, whatever I do, I do it for America.

75. - Well, uh... - What are you drinking?

76. Um, I'll just have some ice water.

77. - Ice water? - Living on the edge, eh?

78. Oh, yeah.

79. Meet my pals, uh, this is, uh, Carmine Galante.

80. - Nice to meet you. - And, uh, this, uh,

81. voluptuous gentleman over here with the diabetes is,

82. uh, Tony Salerno.

83. Can I call you Fat Tony? Are you gonna get...?

84. Call me whatever the fuck you want, Roy.

85. - Good. - You're my attorney.

86. - Hello. - Uh, you don't call him Fat Tony

87. because, er, you might end up, er, in the East River

88. or something like that. - Hello.

89. Uh, everybody else is not worth naming.

90. I, uh, I love getting to know people,

91. it's important for my business,

92. so, it's really nice to meet you all.

93. Mr Salerno, it's really nice to meet you.

94. What is your business, Donald?

95. Real estate. I'm, uh,

96. Vice President of The Trump Organization.

97. Oh, you're Fred Trump's kid?

98. That's right.

99. He's Fred Trump's kid.

100. It sounds like, er, your father is a little tangled up.

101. It looks like he could use a good lawyer.

102. But tell us about it.

103. Right now, the government and the NAACP are suing us.

104. Uh, they're saying our apartments are segregated.

105. This is America, you can rent to

106. whoever the hell you goddamn want.

107. But our lawyer wants us to pay a huge fine to settle

108. and we can't, it's gonna bankrupt us

109. and ruin the company, so... - You tell the feds

110. to fuck 'emselves.

111. Damn straight!

112. File a lawsuit.

113. Always file a lawsuit,

114. fight 'em in court.

115. Uh, make 'em prove

116. you're discriminating.

117. Well, I guess, uh...

118. might have to get us a new lawyer.

119. Of course, it, er, helps if

120. Nixon and the Attorney General

121. are your pals.

122. Well, are you available? I mean...

123. Er, what are you, some kind of a faggot?

124. "Street Man" by Brooklyn Dreams

125. Mrs Nathanson?

126. Yeah.

127. The rent.

128. You got it? Is that all?

129. I think so.

130. You think so?

131. Yeah. Yeah.

132. And if 1 count it and it's not there,

133. what am I supposed to do?

134. It's just the one month. I just hurt my back,

135. I just hurt myself, that's all,

136. and I had to go to hospital.

137. You know what that's like.

138. Let's hope you're alive next month.

139. Get the rent. Get the rent.

140. Or if not, this is it.

141. Mrs Thompson.

142. You bloodsuckers.

143. Just go.

144. Half?

145. You're not real.

146. I am very, very real,

147. Mr Granger. - You're in my head!

148. Mr Granger, please.

149. Come on.

150. Fuck you!

151. Fuck you.

152. Fucker!

153. These NAACP faggots call me racist.

154. Frederick, please, enough.

155. Mary, they call me a racist.

156. How can I be racist

157. when I have a black driver, Mary?

158. No language.

159. How can that be?

160. Pleasant conversation.

161. I'm not racist.

162. No politics.

163. You think that's funny, Freddy?

164. Would you get your elbow

165. off of the table, please?

166. Yes, Sir.

167. Dad, the truth is we're being sued,

168. we need the lawsuit behind us,

169. and I need to bid on the Commodore,

170. and I think with Roy, we have a chance.

171. Not this crap about your hotel, please.

172. Roy Cohn is not the guy that's gonna help us, okay?

173. He's a crook.

174. He's been indicted three times.

175. He's never been convicted, by the way.

176. The man's a genius. He ran McCarthy's show

177. when he was basically a teenager,

178. and he's pals with Nixon himself, he's vicious.

179. You don't think I've tried pulling strings

180. with Beame and Rockefeller?

181. They're no help.

182. The government wants to kill us.

183. Just, just take the meeting, that's all I'm saying.

184. Just, just meet with him to discuss, that's all.

185. I think maybe's Donnie's right.

186. Why not meet with Cohn,

187. get a second opinion?

188. Says the airline pilot.

189. My first-born son

190. Is a goddamn bus driver with wings.

191. Frederick, please.

192. Do you know what kind of an embarrassment

193. that is for us?

194. Whenever... whenever I'm asked

195. about my family,

196. I don't mention you, Freddy.

197. That's how embarrassed I am about you.

198. Frederick, enough.

199. Do you like the music?

200. I do.

201. Oh, hey, how are you?

202. - Good, how are you? - Good to see you.

203. Oh, my God, you look beautiful.

204. Why didn't you call me?

205. Oh, she's busy.

206. Oh, my God.

207. Oh, my God, the stories I can tell you about her.

208. You really know your way around here, huh?

209. Well, come here often enough,

210. you get to know a few people.

211. Oh, I can see that.

212. Maybe loosen up a little, Donnie,

213. you look like a security guard.

214. My God, those summers were the worst.

215. I mean, I would spend the whole time

216. counting the planes taking off from Iowa.

217. I was like that the whole time.

218. He used to make me pick the nails off the floor

219. to save money. - He still does that, Freddy.

220. Even now.

221. He would say to me, 'You keep an eye,

222. anybody who takes too long on their smoke break,

223. you tell me about it."

224. And he would give me a quarter

225. for every... every guy that I tattled on.

226. It was me against them.

227. Well, you probably got rich, huh?

228. Probably got rich those summers.

229. I want you to be happy.

230. Let me get another drink.

231. No, no, come on, come on.

232. We're alright, thank you,

233. thank you very much. - Okay,

234. I don't need my little brother.

235. You think I don't have money? I got money.

236. I know you do, but it's my treat, okay?

237. Take your hat. You're gonna need this.

238. Vic, I'm thinking a three-storey atrium, alright?

239. And this whole side all the way down,

240. I want it cladded in mirror glass, okay?

241. So, when you're across 42nd Street

242. or you're coming up the Park Avenue ramp

243. and you look up, you're gonna see the Chrysler Building,

244. the Grand Central Station,

245. all the landmarks

246. reflected in that glass.

247. It's gonna change the whole ambience

248. of the neighbourhood.

249. It's gonna be a beautiful thing.

250. What do you think?

251. Yeah.

252. We're done.

253. We're done? Vic?

254. What, what, what are you saying?

255. If you were serious, I'd be talking

256. to your father, not you.

257. Who the hell wants to build a luxury hotel

258. on 42nd Street?

259. I do, okay?

260. I will eat, breathe, and sleep,

261. and shit this job until it's done.

262. This is 1,600 rooms right next to Grand Central.

263. Hey, how you doing? You wanna have some fun?

264. This is my wife here, you wanna fuck my wife?

265. - Uh, no, I'm fine, thank you. - Her tight ass pussy's

266. all yours, 40 bucks.

267. I'm alright, thank you.

268. You saying my wife ain't hot?

269. Hey, guy, guy, come on. No loitering.

270. New York is the greatest city in the world,

271. and when it comes back, and it will big time,

272. there's gonna be one hell of a lot of money.

273. People are gonna get rich, Vic, like you wouldn't believe.

274. Come on, Vic, think outside the box, alright?

275. I can't deal with you until you get the feds off your back.

276. You got that?

277. Vic.

278. It's gonna be great!

279. David, how are you?

280. How you doing?

281. Donald Trump from the other night, remember?

282. Right, of course.

283. Mr Cohn, great suit.

284. Uh, Donald Trump, I met you the other night.

285. Uh, Russ, could you get my table, please?

286. Uh, listen, about the lawsuit,

287. I wanted to talk to you about...

288. er, you know, from before, with my father.

289. Look, uh, I'm here to have fun, okay, kid?

290. Don't ruin my night.

291. Now, I gotta take a piss.

292. Mr Cohn, Sir, you have to represent us.

293. Oh, you've gotta be kidding me.

294. Well, I'm sorry to follow you to the bathroom,

295. but you, you, you, you have to represent us.

296. The DOJ is trying to ruin our lives.

297. It's, it's, it's a disgrace, it's an injustice.

298. I'm trying to take a leak.

299. They're gonna force us to rent

300. to welfare cases and,

301. and they're gonna ruin the buildings.

302. Please, I'm begging you, Sir.

303. I'm, I'm standing in a bathroom here

304. with, with, with this guy,

305. and I'm... and I'm begging you from the heart

306. to just please, as the only guy,

307. the only guy that's got the guts and the balls

308. to take on these bullies, to consider this case.

309. Well, er...

310. I never liked bullies.

311. The liberals hate capitalism and, er, strength

312. and everything that people like us stand for,

313. truth, justice, and the American way.

314. Okay, what they wanna do is

315. they wanna take money from, er, you and me

316. and, er, spread it around to, er, deadbeats on welfare.

317. Er, they're worse than Nazis, believe me.

318. I, I, I don't do that.

319. Oh. Well, uh, I got news for you, kid,

320. you do if you want me to listen.

321. Cin-cin.

322. Drink up, Donnie Boy.

323. So, uh, I don't have all night.

324. So...

325. The suit says we violated the Fair Housing Act.

326. Don't tell me what the law is,

327. er, tell me who the judge is.

328. Edward Neaher.

329. That's bad, he's a... he's a boy scout.

330. That's bad?

331. It's not good.

332. You know what, Donald, this whole civil rights deal,

333. it stinks, the way herring stinks.

334. You tell me, how many, uh, stuffed shirt leftists

335. want their little Johnnies and Janes in school

336. with little negroes?

337. Zero.

338. Right? And they say I'm, uh, Lucifer incarnate.

339. At least I'm honest, right, babe?

340. It's true.

341. Well, the other night,

342. you were talking about...

343. Come on, drink up.

344. I mean, uh, I, I was, uh...

345. you were talking about the, um, suing the government.

346. I mean, were you serious about that, or...?

347. I'm serious as a heart attack.

348. Okay, to you.

349. "Rock Your Baby" by George McRae

350. To Donald.

351. I'm... I'm telling you, Roy, I'm gonna...

352. I'm gonna take New York.

353. I'm gonna take New York and bring it back.

354. I'm gonna do it. You watch.

355. You watch. I'm gonna take that Commodore

356. and I'm gonna make it the best fucking hotel in the city.

357. I'll take the Penn Central,

358. I'll take the Yards, the Hudson Yards.

359. I've got all these ideas, and that's...

360. that's the problem with my father.

361. You know what, Donald? You are...

362. People...

363. You're gorgeous, you know that?

364. You're a real thoroughbred.

365. - Roy... - You're one of a kind, okay?

366. I'm telling you, you're one of a kind.

367. - I think, er... - You know, you're not

368. too bad yourself.

369. Well, uh, I mean, I'm not much to look at, but...

370. You're pretty good, you know, you're good.

371. I bet you fuck a lot, don't you, Donald?

372. You look like somebody who, uh, fucks a lot.

373. I think you're right.

374. I like this kid.

375. I feel sorry for him.

376. Yeah, I can see that.

377. Go see if he's okay.

378. I'm not, er, Bunny Lindenbaum and this isn't Avenue Z.

379. - Right. - Powerful people, they hire me

380. because I'm not the typical, er, bill-by-the-hour,

381. do-nothing shyster.

382. I won't be pushed around.

383. You're the client, but you work for me.

384. That means, er, you do what I say,

385. when I say it, 100 percent.

386. Absolutely, totally.

387. Totally, whatever you say.

388. And, er, if you throw up on my scarlet piping,

389. uh, you're a dead duck.

390. My office, 12:30 tomorrow.

391. Yes?

392. Hello. This is Donald Trump, er, for Mr Cohn.

393. Thank you so much. - Donald who?

394. Donald Trump.

395. Come on in, Donald.

396. No. No, I'm telling you, it was not in his briefcase,

397. it wasn't alleged to be in his briefcase.

398. I was in court, I saw the complaint, and you didn't.

399. Did you?

400. Okay.

401. No, you're not listening to me.

402. No.

403. Just get the goddamn injunction

404. and, er, shut up already.

405. Uh, where were we?

406. Murdoch prepping his bid for the New York Post.

407. Needs due diligence on owner, Dolly Schiff.

408. Due diligence? Er, what's to know?

409. She's a communist cunt.

410. Tell Rupert that she's a robber

411. baron's wet dream. Thank you, Rosario.

412. And ripe for the picking.

413. Phelps divorce.

414. When is that? - A week Monday.

415. Because I wanna be armed to the goddamn teeth

416. when I put her yutz of a husband on the stand.

417. Morning, sweetheart.

418. We also have to deal with

419. the latest subpoena from the IRS.

420. Those geniuses at the IRS.

421. I mean, it's a total vendetta. - Fucking IRS.

422. Charlie, come here, you schmuck.

423. - Who let the mutt in here? - That's Charlie Brown.

424. Give him a... give him a Kiss, Charlie.

425. - Oh. - Oh, yeah.

426. Nice. Be careful, er, he might try and blow you.

427. O1.

428. 92.

429. Uh, well, that's the lawsuit,

430. in case you wanna take a look. - 94,

431. All about the Fair Housing Act...

432. I'm... I'm doing my sit-ups, Donald,

433. hang on.

434. 95.

435. 96.

436. Don't touch them, please.

437. Oh, I'm sorry. - 98...

438. - 199, - Wow.

439. Got quite a collection, Roy.

440. 200.

441. President Nixon, that's pretty incredible.

442. Nixon? Yeah, he's a good friend.

443. He's a close personal friend.

444. Did you wanna read the... uh, lawsuit?

445. I don't need to read the lawsuit.

446. I told you, it stinks.

447. Smells like, er, my armpit smells right now.

448. Yeah. I mean, in reality, I mean,

449. I mean, we do rent to black people.

450. - You do? - Yeah, 10 percent

451. of our buildings go to black people.

452. It's just... it's just they have to make

453. four times the amount of the rent

454. in... in terms of the income

455. to, to be approved.

456. Sounds to me like they're discriminating

457. against you. - That's right, they are.

458. And, uh, it should be called the Unfair Housing Act.

459. It's your building, er, you can do whatever the hell you want.

460. Sure sounds nice when you say it, Roy, you know.

461. Where's my cheque?

462. Oh, I got it right here.

463. Okay, uh, we're in business.

464. You got a great name. Trump.

465. Well, may end up on that wall one day.

466. - You could be on that wall. - It'd be nice.

467. Yeah, you could be on that wall, why not?

468. How do you mix with all those people?

469. Everybody wants to suck a winner's cock

470. is what it comes down to.

471. I've been indicted three times, I won 36-0.

472. Government 0, Roy Cohn 36.

473. - I'm a winner. - How do you win?

474. You wanna know how to win?

475. I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

476. There's rules.

477. Roy Coho's three rules of winning.

478. The first rule is the simplest,

479. attack, attack, attack.

480. Civil rights, Katz.

481. I hope the putz you're schtupping's got real money,

482. because, er, after I get you fired,

483. you're sure gonna need it.

484. Excuse me?

485. Unless you drop your baseless litigation,

486. I am counter suing the Justice Department for $100 million,

487. and you are gonna rue the day that you ever filed this suit.

488. Who is this?

489. It's Roy Cohn, calling on behalf

490. of my client, Donald 1. Trump.

491. Always let it ring twice.

492. To whom do I owe the pleasure?

493. Mr Cohn, this is ). Stanley Pottinger,

494. Head of Civil Rights Enforcement,

495. United States Department of Justice.

496. Wow, I'm sure your mother's very proud.

497. How dare you threaten one of my attorneys?

498. I should have you disbarred for speaking to her that way.

499. Stan, Stan, bubala, why don't you calm down?

500. That never happened. - Barbara Katz has worked for me

501. for 20 years. You threatened her.

502. And now she... - Sounds like

503. maybe she's hormonal, or something like that.

504. What did you say?

505. Rule two, admit nothing.

506. Deny everything.

507. Objection.

508. Er, the Civil Rights Division

509. did not file a lawsuit.

510. Frankly, it compiled a, er, 48-page, er, press release,

511. as far as I can tell.

512. Now, the government has failed to spell out

513. one single fact concerning alleged

514. discriminatory practices against blacks by the Trumps.

515. Er, I motion to have this case dismissed

516. on summary judgement. - Overruled.

517. Councillor, continue.

518. Thank you, Your Honour.

519. Agent Green, what led you

520. to believe that you were denied

521. a lease at Trump Properties based on your race?

522. Well, not only did the newspaper advertise...

523. That's Walter, DOJ, he runs the show.

524. I saw three Caucasian couples approved before me.

525. Objection, speculation. - Mr Cohn...

526. How can you say for sure they were Caucasian?

527. Mr Cohn, please allow Agent Green

528. to answer the question.

529. I've seen Puerto Ricans whiter than my tush

530. after a long winter.

531. Your Honour...

532. - Mr Cohn. - Marvin, how are you?

533. Good to see you. - Good to see you.

534. How do you feel about your chances?

535. Er, the government's case

536. is phoney as a three-dollar bill.

537. Er, let's just say we're in a very strong position.

538. Mr Trump, do you think you can beat the US government?

539. I feel very good about this.

540. One more question, Mr Trump.

541. Mr Trump, one more question.

542. We're really gonna win, aren't we?

543. Are you out of your mind? Of course not.

544. - What? - Donald, er,

545. your case is a total dog.

546. But, but you said they had no evidence.

547. Your leasing agents marked black applications with a C.

548. That C didn't stand for cotton candy now, did it?

549. Raul, I'm late for a little, er, rendezvous.

550. Step on it.

551. Roy, you said we'd win hands-down.

552. Rule three, this is the most important rule of all, okay?

553. No matter what happens...

554. Does he have to drive this fast?

555. no matter what they say about you,

556. no matter how beaten you are,

557. you claim victory and never admit defeat.

558. Never admit defeat, Donald.

559. You want to win, that's how you win.

560. Walter, my good friend, what a nice surprise.

561. It's, er, nice to see you too, Roy.

562. Your bulldog, Katz, er, she's being tough on us.

563. Barbara is one of our best.

564. You know, er, this case isn't fair.

565. You and I both know that.

566. Well, you know what, Roy,

567. justice is complicated.

568. - Justice is complicated? - Yeah.

569. You know what could get complicated, Walter?

570. Is a, er, a married man

571. committing certain indiscretions

572. with the, er, cabana boys in Cancun.

573. The last I checked,

574. homosexuals were barred from

575. federal civil service.

576. What do you want, Roy?

577. Why don't you do the right thing

578. and make this case go away?

579. You know I can't do that.

580. Imagine your wife

581. reading in the Post that, er...

582. - Roy... - ... her husband's a fairy.

583. Is that what you want?

584. Say hello to Mira and the kids.

585. - What? I'm not gonna bite. - That was tremendous.

586. Why don't you sit down?

587. You're all the way over in Alaska. Come here.

588. Well...

589. What?

590. I don't know, Roy. I mean, I...

591. I'm pretty sure what I just saw was, er...

592. I, I, I don't even know what... what to think of that.

593. I mean, I'm...

594. I'm speechless.

595. Here's the thing, Donald, uh,

596. you played, uh, you played sports, right?

597. So, they probably taught you, uh,

598. play the ball, not the man.

599. But, uh, you see, in reality,

600. it's the total opposite.

601. You play the man, not the ball.

602. Okay? To get what you want, forget the ball.

603. You get the man.

604. This is a nation of men, not laws.

605. And, uh, you don't care?

606. It's an advantage...

607. to, uh, not care what people think of you.

608. Fuck what people think of you.

609. There is no right and wrong.

610. There is no, uh, morality.

611. There is no truth with a capital "T".

612. It's a construct.

613. It's a fiction. It's man-made.

614. None of it matters except winning.

615. That's it.

616. To leave office before my term is completed is abhorrent

617. to every instinct in my body.

618. But as president, I must put the interests

619. of America first.

620. I shall resign the presidency

621. effective at noon tomorrow.

622. It is the first priority

623. Of my presidency

624. to sustain and strengthen

625. the mutual trust and respect...

626. which must exist... - Hello?

627. Never answer your own phone,

628. uh, like some loser. Get a secretary.

629. - How's it going? - Listen, the judge, er,

630. called with news about the suit.

631. Well, what did they say?

632. Well, the government folded

633. like a cheap tent.

634. Er, we settled with no fine,

635. no admission of discrimination.

636. Er, so you won big, kiddo.

637. Roy, that's... that's incredible. 1... 1...

638. Now get ready, I'm gonna pick you up in about an hour, okay?

639. You're... you're a genius.

640. Er...

641. Listen, uh, Judy, about a hundred reporters

642. were crawling up my ass to get this interview,

643. and I gave you the exclusive.

644. Er, yes, hello, Judy, er, this is Donald Trump.

645. Very excited... very excited to talk to you.

646. Be excited, don't say you're excited.

647. So, Donald, now that the lawsuit is behind you,

648. what do you want to do next?

649. Uh, well...

650. I intend to acquire the Commodore,

651. and, er, I'm planning on making it the, the best

652. er, and the finest building in... in the city,

653. maybe... maybe the country. The world.

654. In the world, Judy, in the world.

655. It's gonna be the finest building in the world.

656. It's gonna be a spectacular hotel.

657. Absolutely spectacular.

658. First class.

659. And, er...

660. That sounds very ambitious.

661. Where do you get the drive? You're still so young, Donald.

662. I've got, I've got flair and I'm smart, so I...

663. I think that's gonna make me successful.

664. - Slow down... - But I also wanna stay humble.

665. I'm...

666. Uh, sorry Judy, listen let's, er, do rest in person,

667. and, er, bring a photographer, okay?

668. Sorry, Roy.

669. Uh, no, I mean, listen, it's your life.

670. You got a ways to go, but, er, you're learning.

671. You know, I should've talked to Dad,

672. before announcing the Commodore.

673. He'll be convinced when he reads about it

674. in the Times, okay?

675. - Well... - You create your own reality.

676. It's not that easy.

677. Truth is a malleable thing.

678. - But he's... - These are too tight, I think.

679. Alright, well... I'm sorry.

680. You have kind of a big ass, you know that?

681. You gotta work on that.

682. We... we try something else.

683. Look, my dad is tough, Roy.

684. He's very tough. - Well, that's why you gotta

685. spread the news, like it's already happening.

686. It's just, you can't push him around very easily.

687. Okay, fine, then, er, let him push you around.

688. Is that what you want?

689. No, I don't.

690. Look.

691. Very, very fine fabric. Brioni.

692. What is that, merino wool?

693. Looks expensive.

694. How much is this?

695. - $1,100. - Okay, that's...

696. Okay, we'll take it, and a matching shirt and tie.

697. - 1... I can't pay for this. - Forget it, okay?

698. Forget it. Listen, here.

699. I don't need your money.

700. You'll pay me back, er, with your friendship, okay?

701. Quid pro quo. Er...

702. you be a friend to me, I'll be a friend to you.

703. Okay? That's, er, that's... that's the pact, okay?

704. If you look like a million bucks,

705. I look like a million bucks.

706. Is this a guy, er, is this a guy from Flushing,

707. or is this a guy from 5th Avenue?

708. You know what I'm saying? - 5th Avenue.

709. - That's right. - 5th Avenue's where we wanna be.

710. - That's right. - Exactly.

711. We're over 20 minutes, can't we at least...

712. I've already explained, this is a members-only club.

713. Only members are allowed inside.

714. They can become members.

715. They can file the papers right NOW.

716. I've asked you once to leave.

717. I want to speak to your boss.

718. - I am the boss. The answer's no. - You're not the boss.

719. - I am the boss. - I want to speak

720. with the real boss.

721. - Look, I'm sorry you're upset. - Excuse me.

722. Um, what's the issue?

723. I'm sorry, Mr Trump, I was just trying to get them to leave.

724. Well, actually, they're on the list.

725. We don't need your help.

726. And what list would that be?

727. The, uh, Roy Cohn list.

728. My apologies, Mr Trump.

729. Why don't you take your coat off?

730. Thank you very much.

731. I'm Donald Trump.

732. You're such a... what is the word?

733. - Gentleman. - Stereotype.

734. A man who thinks women need his help.

735. Well, you, uh, you were totally failing without me,

736. so, I guess you needed my help a little bit.

737. What's the catch, gentleman?

738. No catch.

739. Enjoy your night.

740. Thank you.

741. Ladies, may I get you anything else tonight?

742. - I'm good, thank you. - I'm good too.

743. The cheque, please.

744. Mr Trump took care of it.

745. Oh.

746. Well, then.

747. Mr Trump has a crush on somebody.

748. - Thank you. Alright.

749. Shall we get out of here?

750. Yes.

751. Hey.

752. Excuse me.

753. He... he's not even... he looked at me.

754. Excuse me?

755. - Do you need a ride? - We don't need a ride.

756. It looks really cold out there, and, er...

757. - I'm not cold. - I can give you a ride.

758. Listen, come on.

759. You didn't tell me your name.

760. Ivana Zelnickova.

761. Ivana Zelnickova?

762. - Zelnickova. - Zelnickova.

763. Thank you for the ride.

764. I really wanna see you again, okay?

765. I'd love to, uh, I'd love to take you to dinner.

766. Thank you, Donald, but... I have a boyfriend.

767. So what? He doesn't let you eat?

768. Goodnight, Donald.

769. He's spicy.

770. 'Donald J Trump is tall, lean, and blonde,

771. with dazzling white teeth,

772. and looks ever so much like Robert Redford.'

773. I'm so proud of you, my love.

774. I'm so proud.

775. They even called me, er, controversial.

776. Donald, it would have been appropriate

777. for you, erm, to talk to me before you announced

778. your Commodore plan.

779. Now it looks like

780. I don't run my own goddamn company.

781. Well...

782. not if you back me up.

783. Donald, the Chrysler Building is in foreclosure.

784. - Well, the Chrysler Building... - And you wanna open

785. a hotel around the corner. - I, I understand,

786. the Chrysler Building is a landmark,

787. so, it's absolutely fine.

788. It's like adding a deckchair to the Titanic.

789. Dad, sooner or later you might have to

790. accept the fact that I could be right,

791. and maybe I know what I'm doing.

792. Look, Donald,

793. I respect what you've done, son.

794. I really hope so. I hope so.

795. I hope so, Dad, I really do.

796. Donald...

797. I gotta go.

798. Really, Frederick?

799. Hey, Russell, uh, where's Roy?

800. Donald, what's a nice boy like you doing at a party like this?

801. How do you know Roy?

802. He's, uh, he's my lawyer.

803. Hmm.

804. Mine too.

805. I'm in real estate.

806. Hmm.

807. What do you do?

808. I'm an artist.

809. Oh.

810. What do you make?

811. Anything I can sell.

812. Making money is art.

813. It's true.

814. It is. It is.

815. Are you successful?

816. Roy.

817. There he is, the, er,

818. the boy with the golden hair.

819. I say, er, if you're indicted, you're invited.

820. Er, the suit looks great.

821. Come on, let's, er, let's mingle.

822. Dick, er, how are you? This is Donald Trump.

823. - Oh, how's it going? - New friend, new client.

824. Er...

825. Listen, Roy, I hear Ed Koch is gonna run.

826. Oh, well, he'll never win, he's a total homo.

827. He's a homo?

828. That's what I heard, right? - Listen, Abe's worried,

829. he wanted me to talk to you. - Okay, call me tomorrow,

830. I'm at the party right now, okay?

831. Dick is the, er, Deputy Mayor.

832. So, he's a good friend.

833. Gentlemen, I want you to meet a, er, real prince.

834. - This is Donald Trump. - Mr Murdoch.

835. Nice to meet you.

836. - George Steinbrenner. - Of course. It's a great honour.

837. He knows who you are, George.

838. I mean, are you kidding me?

839. Sir, I used to play ball.

840. Coach said I could've gone pro.

841. What the hell happened?

842. Well, I realised why play

843. on the field when I can just own the stadium?

844. I like that. - Talk to you later.

845. Rupert is gonna be key for you.

846. You wanna get quoted in the Post and all the papers a lot,

847. you know, keep your name in the papers.

848. Oh, that's my accountant.

849. - Er, really? - Er, listen,

850. you'd better work on the, er, Commodore pitch, okay?

851. Brush up on that, because I got you a sit-down

852. with the CEO of Hyatt.

853. - Jay Pritzker? - Yeah, Pritzker, who else?

854. Roy, that's amazing.

855. - Roy, that's... - Okay?

856. - That's incredible. - Estelle!

857. On behalf of the, er, sadistic, inhumane conservatives

858. in this country, I wanna welcome, er, all of you.

859. It's great to see so many old friends and, er, new ones.

860. I love this country.

861. I think of America as my most important client.

862. Some of you are my clients, and I hate to break it to you,

863. but America is more important.

864. We are the last line of defence

865. between a free world

866. and a, er, totalitarian hellscape.

867. God bless Americal

868. God bless Americal!

869. God bless America! - God bless America!

870. "Ghost Rider" by Suicide

871. & Ghost Rider motorcycle hero

872. 3 Hey baby, baby, baby he's a-lookin' so cute?

873. 3 Sneak around-round-round in a blue jump suit §

874. & Ghost Rider motorcycle hero

875. Where is Roy? Have you seen him?

876. - I think he went upstairs. - Okay. Alright.

877. I guess I'll look around.

878. Get away from me!

879. Well, gentlemen, this is a monumental opportunity.

880. The Grand Central area is one of

881. the most important locations in the city.

882. The Chrysler Building is there, the Pan Am Building is there,

883. the whole area is monumental.

884. And the key to the whole area

885. is the old Commodore Hotel,

886. which is just sitting there boarded up

887. and waiting to be transformed.

888. I wanna make it something very special,

889. I wanna build an incredible,

890. glorious, glamorous hotel

891. that's gonna put people to work

892. in the construction trades,

893. it's gonna save hotel jobs.

894. It's been a brutal year for New York,

895. we're... we're one step away from depression,

896. and we have to bring it back.

897. Thank you.

898. Commodore Hotel is a great idea,

899. but not only is it in shambles,

900. but everything around it as well.

901. Everything on that city block

902. is going to need to be rebuilt.

903. I'd love to do that.

904. I think that destination's a great word.

905. You know, it brings people to... to Manhattan.

906. A lot of Europeans are waiting

907. to come back to the city.

908. Mr Pritzker, any questions?

909. Just one.

910. Between the unions and taxes...

911. how will you make money?

912. Um... well, that's a... that's a really interesting question.

913. Um...

914. well, there won't be any taxes, Jay,

915. because, er, we're gonna get a tax abatement from the Mayor,

916. who is begging developers to build, okay?

917. And if I tell him that the CEO of Hyatt is committing,

918. then I can get him to waive the property taxes.

919. The city is broke, and you're saying

920. they're gonna for ego taxes?

921. I'm saying I got the City Planning Commission

922. in my pocket.

923. You keep dreaming, Donald.

924. Hello?

925. Russell, it's Donald, er, can you let me in?

926. I, I, I need to talk to Roy.

927. Russell.

928. Easy, easy.

929. You're gonna break my intercom.

930. Roy, can you let me in? I, I, I need your help.

931. Boy, you fucked the dog, didn't you?

932. Listen, I, I, I...

933. Sorry.

934. I really need your help on this.

935. Okay, I'll, er, T'll call the mayor.

936. What's my ask?

937. Waive Hyatt's property taxes.

938. Waive Hyatt's property taxes?

939. - Yeah. - Oh, that's...

940. you want, er...

941. you want me to ask them for

942. a $160 million abatement?

943. Yeah. Well, with you it can be done.

944. You're nuts.

945. With you it can be done.

946. You're Roy Cohn, you're Roy Cohn.

947. The Roy Cohn.

948. - It's just not gonna happen. - I'll do anything for you.

949. What-whatever you want. - You know, I can't, uh, turn,

950. uh, you know, loaves into fishes here, you know?

951. I know, but I'm begging you for this.

952. I believe in this, Roy, and I'm...

953. I'm begging you, please. Just...

954. just make a call.

955. Okay, call me in the morning, okay?

956. Call me in the morning. - Roy, I love you.

957. - Be glad he owes me.

958. I love you!

959. Okay.

960. Thank you. Have a good night.

961. Goodnight.

962. Ha... have a good night.

963. Let's just hope we're not

964. made fools of in there.

965. Everyone's on board, Dad, this is just a formality.

966. Yeah, right.

967. Uh, it was only a year ago

968. that President Ford told New York City to drop dead.

969. New York City, drop dead.

970. Now, my client, Mr Trump,

971. is trying to give this city a much needed,

972. uh, blood infusion and, uh, resuscitate the corpse

973. of New York City. And I urge you

974. to support my client in doing so.

975. Thank you.

976. Thank you, Mr Cohn.

977. Let's go through the last run of comments on this issue.

978. Deputy Mayor Richard Morgan

979. will provide the Mayor's view of this proposal.

980. Thank you, Chairman.

981. I'll keep this brief.

982. Uh, Mayor Beame,

983. and the rest of City Hall

984. fully support Mr Trump's plans.

985. This is a damn rip off.

986. The rich don't need another tax break!

987. Order! - Especially this man.

988. - Okay, okay. - Come on, Chairman.

989. While it is true that there is support

990. for Mr Trump's proposal,

991. it is also true that the city is being forced to cut

992. vital services to the poor.

993. We will move to a vote after a short recess.

994. You said they were on board.

995. Now you're wasting my time.

996. What did I tell you?

997. What did I tell you?

998. What happened, Roy?

999. You thought, uh, the rules don't apply to you.

1000. Well, what are we gonna do now?

1001. They're gonna vote any minute.

1002. Watch your head.

1003. It's my playroom.

1004. I can record, uh, everything and,

1005. you know, keep a record in case I need it.

1006. This is the patch bay, and, uh, you run these cables,

1007. uh, to any room in the house,

1008. and, uh, you can listen in.

1009. I got Onassis.

1010. I got Cardinal Cooke.

1011. Oh, I got everybody.

1012. Park your butt here.

1013. The chairman came to see me one day...

1014. with a little problem.

1015. Michael, er, can I have a word? - Yeah.

1016. Where do you put the money? I put it in a fund

1017. that I thought no-one would take a look at.

1018. Now they're starting to go through the books.

1019. How much?

1020. 50k.

1021. I-I don't want this thing coming back to haunt me.

1022. Have you no decency?

1023. Oh, you know, I've heard that before.

1024. You have to be willing to do anything to anyone to win.

1025. This has been one of the toughest votes we've had.

1026. There's a lot of strong feelings on both sides.

1027. You have to be willing to exploit your enemies

1028. and instil fear.

1029. Our responsibility is to do what's best for New York.

1030. The truth is, the city needs investment.

1031. Therefore, we grant approval for Mr Trump's tax abatement.

1032. - This is a final decision... - This is corruption!

1033. You should be ashamed of yourself!

1034. I will ask you to maintain order in this house!

1035. Well, that's illegal, right?

1036. Oh, it's illegal?

1037. Donald, wake up.

1038. You know, when I tried the Rosenbergs,

1039. I wanted so badly

1040. to see those pinko kikes fry

1041. for what they did.

1042. Now, er, Judge Kaufman had no trouble

1043. sending Julius to the chair,

1044. but, er, Ethel was a mother

1045. with young kids.

1046. They wanted her to live.

1047. As if that's some sort of special immunity

1048. for betraying your country.

1049. So, during the trial,

1050. I'd slip out at lunch to a phone booth

1051. and, er, call Kaufman.

1052. You know, technically ex parte conversations,

1053. they're not allowed, but, er, when democracy is at stake,

1054. you're damn right I'm willing to violate a few technicalities.

1055. I don't care if she's a mother with young kids.

1056. She betrayed our country and she has to die.

1057. You have to set an example and put this woman to death.

1058. She's a traitor.

1059. Do you understand what I'm telling you?

1060. I mean, America's the biggest client, right?

1061. That's right.

1062. You have to be willing to do anything for America.

1063. To safeguard democracy.

1064. Huh?

1065. "Yes, Sir, I Can Boogie" by Baccara plays

1066. Is this for me?

1067. 3 But I need a certain song ¢

1068. Make it five here.

1069. J Boogie woogie All night long &

1070. & Yes, Sir, I can boogie

1071. - Hello? - Ivana, it's Donald.

1072. Hi, Donald. - What's going on?

1073. You wanna go to dinner?

1074. Donald, I like you,

1075. and the flowers are beautiful,

1076. but I cannot do this.

1077. I can't. - You're hurting my heart.

1078. I can't sleep, I can't eat.

1079. I'm off for a job in Aspen,

1080. and I need to pack.

1081. A job?

1082. Like, are you, like...

1083. Listen, Donald, I'm getting engaged.

1084. - You're getting engaged? - And I love my boyfriend.

1085. Well, just...

1086. So, here's the idea. We've got like a rock band going here,

1087. and like she gets all the attention,

1088. and you guys are great, you're supporting her, though.

1089. Okay.

1090. Yeah, just... push your tits towards me.

1091. There you go.

1092. The arrogance, the arrogance.

1093. Sexy. Here we go.

1094. Okay.

1095. Beautiful.

1096. Come a little bit forward here.

1097. There you go. Okay.

1098. - Great job.

1099. You look good.

1100. Donald, what are you doing here?

1101. I heard, er, Aspen real estate is hot.

1102. Bullshit.

1103. It's true.

1104. I have a lot of, er...

1105. unfinished business.

1106. You wanna go to dinner?

1107. I'm gonna make a run after the shoot,

1108. and... maybe you can join me.

1109. You... you wanna ski?

1110. Do you know how to ski?

1111. Sure.

1112. I'll meet you here.

1113. Meet me at the slopes.

1114. No, no, no, I'll meet you here.

1115. I'll get my skis, then I'll meet you here.

1116. Do...

1117. Do you like modelling?

1118. I like the money.

1119. You make good money on that?

1120. I make decent money,

1121. but what I really want is my own fashion line.

1122. I want clothes, jewellery,

1123. shoes... with my name.

1124. My biggest dream is to have my own interior design firm.

1125. I have a whole vision.

1126. What?

1127. Uh, no, you're just not

1128. like, er, the women I normally meet.

1129. Because I want something more than a man

1130. and a ring?

1131. Yeah.

1132. Well, cheers to that.

1133. You're really not gonna drink anything?

1134. I don't like anything to slow me down.

1135. Er...

1136. Okay, I don't mean to laugh.

1137. Well, in life

1138. there are two types of people.

1139. There are killers,

1140. and there are losers.

1141. But it's good not to be a killer, no?

1142. Killer means winner.

1143. Oh.

1144. So...

1145. Are you a killer, Donald?

1146. Are you going to kill me?

1147. It's called the Big Apple,

1148. the greatest city in the world.

1149. Now there seems to be something rotten

1150. in the core of the fruit.

1151. The city can barely afford to

1152. pay its bills, says Ed Koch,

1153. the mayoral candidate.

1154. We don't know yet the sacrifices

1155. we need to make

1156. to get this city back on its feet again.

1157. And as the crime is surging,

1158. it might even have to lay off

1159. those who fight crime.

1160. But this won't stop young real estate pro motor,

1161. Donald Trump, from pursuing

1162. his dream project:

1163. a 1,500-room luxury hotel

1164. at the Grand Central terminal.

1165. New York right now is at a great turning point,

1166. it's gonna go one way or the other,

1167. and I'm gonna make damn well sure

1168. it goes the right way.

1169. I wanna make it a fabulous place again.

1170. Oh my God.

1171. It's a 19-year open audit,

1172. so, what they're telling me is

1173. I'm supposed to remember now,

1174. in March 1977,

1175. uh, who I had dinner with

1176. in February 1958,

1177. and, er, you know, what colour tie

1178. they were wearing, and... exactly.

1179. Listen, let me call you back.

1180. The, uh, clowns at the IRS

1181. are crawling up my ass again.

1182. That's terrible.

1183. Uh, Roger, meet Donald Trump.

1184. - Hi. Good to meet you. - How you doing?

1185. Roger Stone. Sorry, I'm all wet.

1186. That's, uh, that's alright.

1187. He's all wet.

1188. Huge fan of your work.

1189. Oh, thank you.

1190. Roger here is into politics.

1191. His specialty is, er, dirty tricks.

1192. Uh, well, no comment.

1193. Roger, er, be a mensch,

1194. er, get me a Paloma.

1195. Sure.

1196. So... how's things?

1197. Well, er, listen, er, things are, er...

1198. things are good, and I, uh, I met someone.

1199. You met someone?

1200. That's great. Good for you.

1201. Well, she's a... she's a tough cookie.

1202. Well, she better not mess with you,

1203. because she'll have to answer to me.

1204. We're gonna get married.

1205. You're gonna get married?

1206. You're gonna get married?

1207. What do you mean?

1208. I love her, Roy. - Are you nuts?

1209. Are you out of your goddamn mind?

1210. - Well, I'm in love. - Donald, let me

1211. put it to you this way.

1212. Would you sign a contract

1213. giving away half your assets?

1214. Roy, a contract?

1215. That's what a marriage is, it's a contract

1216. between two parties.

1217. My parents have been married for 40 years, Roy,

1218. and I don't know what... nobody had a contract.

1219. Listen, the matrimonial game is a zero-sum game.

1220. Trust me. I almost married Barbara Walters

1221. and then I wised up.

1222. - Right. - You're gonna need protection.

1223. It's not the Magna Carta,

1224. it's just a standard prenup.

1225. That's all.

1226. Yeah.

1227. 'In the event of separation,

1228. spouse will receive $20,000 annual'

1229. Right.

1230. That's not too bad.

1231. - We're not gonna separate. - Okay, let me finish.

1232. You just sign it at the end.

1233. Let me finish.

1234. Please, take your time.

1235. - I will, trust me. - Good.

1236. Return all the gifts?

1237. Is this a joke?

1238. - Does it say that? - Is what a joke?

1239. Er, we, we, we don't have to do that.

1240. Well, legally a gift, er,

1241. doesn't constitute marital property,

1242. so, in the case of divorce... - You agree with that?

1243. or the dissolution of a marriage

1244. - A gift? - Well...

1245. You don't need to bullshit me with this legal language.

1246. I can get a two-dollars lawyer like you as well.

1247. - Ivana, you can keep the gifts. - I, I don't need that.

1248. Well, we don't have to... just keep the gifts.

1249. - Forget it. - It's fine.

1250. - Oh my God... - Uh... buyer beware.

1251. Ivana, hey...

1252. Ivana!

1253. Look, forget the gift clause, alright?

1254. Roy got carried away.

1255. Listen, I'll give you, uh, 50,000 now,

1256. like a signing bonus, alright? Come on.

1257. The wedding is in two days.

1258. $100,000 in my account before the wedding.

1259. 75.

1260. 100,000 or I go.

1261. Ivana, please.

1262. Let's talk about this.

1263. Come on, don't do this.

1264. Go find someone else, Donald. I'm not a trophy wife.

1265. You're gonna ruin your life if you don't marry me.

1266. Come on.

1267. - One second. Listen, I'm... - Why is that?

1268. Because I'm rich, I'm handsome,

1269. I have a great family... I'm gonna be

1270. in the number-one building in New York.

1271. Listen to me.

1272. You're gonna have a life you can't even dream of, Ivana,

1273. with me.

1274. I love you.

1275. I love you, okay?

1276. I wanna have children with you,

1277. I want us to grow old together.

1278. Better.

1279. Hey!

1280. Congratulations!

1281. Fuck you!

1282. Thank you very much for coming.

1283. Thank you.

1284. Uh, here.

1285. Cheers.

1286. She thinks she's gonna put me

1287. in the movies now.

1288. She thinks I look like Robert Redford.

1289. Thank you, thanks for coming.

1290. Your building is almost as beautiful as your wife.

1291. Well, almost.

1292. And it's gonna get even more beautiful.

1293. You two must have a lot of money.

1294. Here they are.

1295. - Oh. There he is. - Ah, the two lovebirds.

1296. You look, uh, you look marvellous.

1297. Right.

1298. - Excuse me. - See you in a second.

1299. I don't think somebody's over the prenup.

1300. - Oh, she'll come around. - I don't think so,

1301. but, er, that's alright.

1302. Means I'm doing my job.

1303. Somebody's gotta protect you.

1304. Exactly.

1305. Look at this. I mean, you got everybody.

1306. You got the Mayor,

1307. uh, city council president,

1308. all the major developers here.

1309. Everybody's lining up to kiss your ring now, kiddo.

1310. You've arrived... you know that?

1311. Thank you, Roy.

1312. I love you.

1313. You're practically my family.

1314. Oh, thank you for saying that.

1315. I hope we're not tired yet,

1316. we're just getting started, you know.

1317. Drink up, everybody.

1318. Hey, good to see you.

1319. Good to see you. It's been a long time.

1320. - Roy. - How are you?

1321. - I'm good, how are you? - Uh, good.

1322. Very nice to see you.

1323. Er, you should be very proud of your son.

1324. I'm extremely proud.

1325. Extremely proud.

1326. You know, Roy, I've been meaning to tell you,

1327. I, I, I... I wanted to thank you

1328. for all you've done for Donald. I appreciate it.

1329. Well, I haven't done anything.

1330. Er, he doesn't need my help.

1331. Oh.

1332. Little Donnie needs all the help he can get.

1333. We had to ship him off to the military school

1334. when the teachers found his switchblade collection.

1335. - Yeah, well, er, you know,

1336. I saw West Side Story

1337. and it was a great movie, - West Side Story.

1338. You know what, Fred? Uh, I just fixed

1339. what others couldn't.

1340. Well, I appreciate it, Roy.

1341. Thank you for doing that.

1342. I really do.

1343. - Thanks for coming, Roy. - See you in a second, Roy.

1344. Appreciate it.

1345. Er... - He's an asshole.

1346. Well, no, he's got a client he's, er... he's dealing with.

1347. Erm, how's it going, Dad? - No, it didn't seem right.

1348. It's... it's going fine, it's great.

1349. I don't know any of these people.

1350. Like, who's that guy?

1351. Well, uh, these are, uh, these are very important people.

1352. I wrote a few things down in case you wanted...

1353. I should do a... a speech, you know, a...

1354. toast or whatever.

1355. We're okay, Freddy, don't worry.

1356. Don't worry about a speech. - Nah.

1357. What, uh, what happened with, uh, TWA?

1358. I don't like to fly anymore.

1359. Well, that's great, Freddy.

1360. Alright, well, look, I, uh, I gotta go see Ivana, so, erm...

1361. Hey, tell her, uh, tell her gratulujeme.

1362. That's 'congratulations' in Czech.

1363. - Okay, I will, T will. - I looked it up

1364. in case you wanted me to do a speech.

1365. Gratulujeme, everybody.

1366. - Oh, shit. Oh, shit. - Freddy...

1367. - Hold on, it's on your suit. - Can you just, uh, tone it down?

1368. - Sorry. - Sit down. Sit down.

1369. You gave me a wet glass.

1370. You're looking at me like it's my fault.

1371. You gave me a wet glass! - Have a seat.

1372. Oh shit, you're mad with me now.

1373. I ruined everything, now you're mad with me.

1374. I'm not mad. Listen to me, I'm not mad.

1375. - I'm sorry, Donnie. - I'm not fucking mad.

1376. Listen to me.

1377. It's my fucking night, it's my fucking night.

1378. Can't you fucking keep it together, for once?

1379. Stop pissing your fucking life down the river.

1380. You were supposed to be at my dinner.

1381. You were supposed to be at my dinner,

1382. you're my older brother.

1383. Stand up.

1384. Don't be such a fucking bum.

1385. Ready? Ready.

1386. I got it!

1387. I got it!

1388. Five, four, three, two, one.

1389. Happy New Year!

1390. Every major tax cut in this century

1391. has strengthened the economy

1392. by creating new investment, new jobs,

1393. and more commerce among our people.

1394. It's time to put America back to work.

1395. J ... to treat me like you do [

1396. J When you've laid your hands upon me J

1397. Listen, don't sell Koch too hard.

1398. I know how to handle him, thanks.

1399. Oh, you know how to handle him, do you?

1400. Listen, this is gonna be a cinch.

1401. Just, uh, let me handle it.

1402. I really think this is gonna be one of the most

1403. exceptional buildings anywhere in the world, and,

1404. frankly, there's never been anything like it.

1405. 68 storeys tall, 28 sides, a million square feet,

1406. every unit will have amenities like you wouldn't believe,

1407. and the higher floors have exceptional views

1408. over Central Park. - Huh.

1409. The lobby, the floors will all be marble.

1410. Pink paradiso marble from Italy.

1411. It'll have the largest, uh, atrium in the world,

1412. a 60-foot waterfall spanned by shops

1413. and retail and restaurants,

1414. and I think it's gonna be something very special.

1415. Frankly, there's never been anything like it.

1416. And what are you gonna call it?

1417. - Trump Tower. - Trump Tower?

1418. Oh, that's interesting.

1419. Look, he has a great track record,

1420. so, we think this is a very reasonable ask.

1421. Well, I... I... as I frequently say about his buildings,

1422. the merit's a fine thing, it's just we're not

1423. gonna give you the tax breaks. Why would we?

1424. I, I mean, I can't let you get rich

1425. on the backs of the people of New York and their treasury.

1426. I can't do that, Donald. - Er, look, Mr Mayor...

1427. Well, well, you're not, you're not, Mr Mayor,

1428. because I'm building a 68-storey building

1429. that's gonna employ 5,000 construction workers.

1430. And we have heard stories about the construction

1431. workers working on your projects.

1432. They don't get paid, they have liens against you, Donald.

1433. I'm trying to employ people in New York

1434. and turn us back around, towards the future.

1435. And you're being a very unfair guy,

1436. "cause frankly, what do you know about me?

1437. What do you know about the amount

1438. of money that I made on my own?

1439. You don't know anything, to be perfectly honest,

1440. Mr Mayor. You don't know me at all.

1441. But you will. You'll never forget me after this,

1442. 'cause I won't forget what you just did.

1443. Trump Tower will be built with or without you!

1444. - Okay. - You're about to be sued,

1445. Mr Mayor.

1446. Hm.

1447. I think we should attend the Park Gala next month.

1448. Tables are $10,000

1449. and we get to the house committee.

1450. Why would I give money to those snobs?

1451. It's gonna make the park more beautiful.

1452. It's ridiculous, okay? Trees don't need money to grow.

1453. The city really should let developers build over the park,

1454. 'cause it's prime real estate.

1455. And stop trying to be friends with these Park Avenue phonies.

1456. They don't care about you.

1457. I mean, the way you're posing for the cameras,

1458. it's like you're, you're begging for attention.

1459. Donald, I'm posing because they want to shoot me.

1460. - Oh, really? - Don't get jealous.

1461. I'm not jealous, okay?

1462. If anybody's jealous, they're jealous of me.

1463. You are getting jealous. You're getting a little jealous.

1464. No, no, no. They're jealous of me, Ivana,

1465. because nobody's tried... - Because you're with me.

1466. - On any scale of what I'm trying to do in the city.

1467. - Because you're with me. - No-one's built what I've built

1468. at my age, alright?

1469. I cannot sit.

1470. It's just, it's Koch, okay? He's being a piece of work,

1471. and that's the problem. He's not gonna budge, alright?

1472. Here, let me help you with the shoes.

1473. He just wants a bit more money. That's it.

1474. Ivana, I gave him $50,000.

1475. - What does Roy say? - Roy's useless!

1476. What do you mean, what he said? By the way, the FBI

1477. raided his house this morning.

1478. He owes them $7 million in taxes.

1479. But it doesn't matter, I don't need Roy, I don't need anybody.

1480. I'm gonna go on television and tell the people

1481. what a loser Koch is, okay, and that he's a one-line artist

1482. that doesn't care about anything other than looking good.

1483. What's the matter with him?

1484. What's the matter with him? Why are you crying?

1485. Don Jr, come here. Come here.

1486. Come here. Come here, look at me...

1487. - Hey bubba. - Look at me, look at me. See?

1488. Everything's okay. Don Jr, everything's okay.

1489. Look over there. You see New York City? That's your city.

1490. Listen, you're a New York City kid.

1491. See right there... yes? That one, is that one your favourite?

1492. - Which one's your favourite? - I think he's just tired.

1493. Donald...

1494. It's okay.

1495. I guess I'm terrible with babies.

1496. I dunno what you want me to say.

1497. Who is that?

1498. - My name's Freddy... Freddy!

1499. Hey, will you tell this guy who I am?

1500. - He knows. - I'm his brother.

1501. When, uh, when, when did you get into town?

1502. Uh, just a couple of days ago.

1503. I've been calling you, but you didn't return my calls.

1504. - Mm. You don't look too good. - Yeah.

1505. - Are you sick? - I brought this for Don Jr.

1506. Maybe I can go give it to him. - Uh, that's okay, that's okay.

1507. Listen, I'll, I'll give it to him, alright?

1508. I'll give it to him.

1509. What's going on? I didn't know you were in town.

1510. Look, Donald, I know, I know, uh,

1511. you know, I know I'm a loser and, uh, all that, but, uh,

1512. you know, my, my grip's, kind of, uh,

1513. kind of slipping a little bit, you know?

1514. And, uh, it's, it's getting kind of, uh, you know,

1515. things are getting a little bit, uh, scary, and er...

1516. - Hm. - I... you know, I wanna, I wanna,

1517. I wanna change and... - Mm-hm.

1518. Just, just take it easy, okay? It's gonna be alright.

1519. We're gonna figure this out. I'll, I'll help you, alright?

1520. - Yeah. - Okay? Alright.

1521. It's alright, buddy. We're gonna figure this out.

1522. - Alright? Don't worry. - Freddy, how are you?

1523. - Wow, you... Ivana, hi. - He got a toy for...

1524. I didn't know you were in the city.

1525. - Should I make up the guestroom? - Yeah.

1526. Um, well, I mean, you know, we also have, uh,

1527. didn't you say your family's coming to town, right?

1528. You know, why don't you stay at a hotel tonight?

1529. Yeah, get a hotel for, for tonight,

1530. and then, uh, let's talk tomorrow.

1531. You know, we'll, we'll sort something out, alright?

1532. Just, just for tonight, alright?

1533. Come on, Freddy, don't put this on me, alright?

1534. I mean, you think it's easy for me to watch you waste your life?

1535. Poor Freddy.

1536. Donald Trump's biggest accomplishment to date

1537. is the Grand Hyatt.

1538. Now an even more ambitious plan is in the works,

1539. a bold new skyscraper, a prime Fifth Avenue location,

1540. neighbouring the famous Tiffany's store.

1541. Taller? Well, it could've been taller.

1542. It could've been a lot taller, actually.

1543. I wanted to build taller than the Twin Towers.

1544. I may still do that, I don't know.

1545. - We're still building, so... - We were gonna do taller,

1546. but it's not gonna be as beautiful as this one.

1547. It's most important what is inside

1548. than what was gonna be outside.

1549. Trump's vision is shared by his wife, Ivana,

1550. a former fashion model turned interior designer.

1551. Like, come over here.

1552. The floor, the floor is gonna be pink marble.

1553. Pink marble, I'm gonna bring a whole mountain from Italy.

1554. Ivana's gonna design the floors, I'm gonna design the ceilings.

1555. But it's his feud with outspoken Mayor Ed Koch

1556. that may make him best known to New Yorkers.

1557. Well, he's a one line artist, uh, I, I mean, you know,

1558. uh, when it comes to running the city,

1559. he's about as bad as anybody I've seen.

1560. I would say he's got no talent and only moderate intelligence.

1561. Is this an appropriate way to talk about an elected official?

1562. Ed Koch has been a disaster for New York and, uh,

1563. he's done a lousy job as the mayor.

1564. Anybody that lives in New York knows it.

1565. And people understand that in order to be successful

1566. you have to have a certain instinct to win.

1567. Donald, you're a mover, you are a doer.

1568. If you could make America perfect, how would you do it?

1569. Well, I think that America's a country that has tremendous,

1570. tremendous potential. I think that much like the mind,

1571. I think America's using very, very little of its potential.

1572. I really feel that. But I also feel that it's a country

1573. that gets no respect from other countries.

1574. None. Zero.

1575. And uh, and that's a shame, isn't it?

1576. Tell me this, what if you lost your fortune today?

1577. What would you do? - Well, then maybe I'll run

1578. for president, I don't know. - Well, you'd do very well.

1579. Well, I'm only kidding obviously when I say that,

1580. I'm just being facetious, but... - No, it's a good answer.

1581. Listen, you're gonna love Atlantic City.

1582. I got this guy Sullivan, uh, he's a killer.

1583. Simon! Find a way through, alright?

1584. We gotta get to the heliport.

1585. Oh, it's that gay cancer.

1586. It's nasty.

1587. He just wiped his face all over the fucking glass.

1588. Get out of my face.

1589. Run 'em over, Simon.

1590. Come on, Simon!

1591. I'm kidding.

1592. Atlantic City is just beginning.

1593. It's virtually untouched land.

1594. There's so much potential.

1595. Atlantic City has peaked, Donald.

1596. Once other states legalise gaming,

1597. you'll have competition lining up,

1598. plus you don't know the first thing about running a casino.

1599. I know a lot about running a casino, Roy.

1600. I'm not worried about that.

1601. Why don't you finish Trump Tower first?

1602. It's done. Basically finished.

1603. I think your balls are swelling a little too much.

1604. It's gonna be fine, Roy.

1605. You gotta... you gotta think about the future.

1606. The future's coming. The future's here right now.

1607. - I am think... - The future is in Atlantic City.

1608. See, this is what a goldmine looks like.

1609. In human flesh. Bets, please.

1610. - Unbelievable, huh? - See what you're building...

1611. He's excited. You know how excited he is?

1612. Yeah. That's his excited face!

1613. Woo! Hey, did you win?

1614. Did you win? You look like a winner.

1615. - Where are you from? - Georgia.

1616. Georgia's my favourite.

1617. - How many machines? - 67 machines.

1618. Well, we're gonna put in 3,000, alright?

1619. And then we'll pack every grandma in the world

1620. in this place.

1621. We're gonna suck this place dry. - Yeah!

1622. Applying for a gaming licence is gonna take, uh,

1623. eight, ten months minimum. - Not if you're this guy.

1624. See, they're always losing.

1625. They're always losing back there.

1626. Look, this-this place is about as much Las Vegas

1627. as my Aunt Libby is Grace Kelly. - Fantastic is what it is.

1628. It's gonna better than Las Vegas.

1629. It's totally cheap and grubby - Roy, you know...

1630. and it's gonna be bad for your brand.

1631. You're being so negative all the... what is this?

1632. Is this free food? Wow.

1633. Well, T might have to get in there.

1634. Cheese balls over here.

1635. Hoo-hoo, they look nice and hot.

1636. - What are you doing? - You want one?

1637. No, it looks totally disgusting.

1638. Cheese balls.

1639. Listen, what do you think about midget boxing?

1640. I think people will love it.

1641. I don't think very much about midget boxing, Donald.

1642. When I do Trump Tower, people love it.

1643. Everything I do is turning to gold, alright?

1644. Everything's gonna work out. It's fine.

1645. But this is, this is not a goldmine, okay?

1646. You're expanding too fast, okay? - Oh, here we go.

1647. You're gonna be overleveraged and you're gonna have debt, uh,

1648. up to your ears and I don't advise it.

1649. I know what I'm doing, okay?

1650. You've been negative the whole day. I mean, what's going on?

1651. Well, I'm getting a little tired

1652. of you not listening to me anymore.

1653. I do listen to you. Just act a little bit more

1654. like my attorney and less like my dad,

1655. 'cause I already got one, he's a pain in the ass.

1656. Fine. You know, you know what lawyers do, Donald?

1657. They charge their clients.

1658. Okay.

1659. Send me the bill.

1660. That make you feel better?

1661. Good, fine. I'll send you a bill.

1662. Great.

1663. I can pay you, 'cause I have money, 'cause I'm successful.

1664. - Right. - Alright?

1665. I'm sorry. Mr Trump? - And, uh, who, who, who, uh...

1666. Listen, I'm worried about you.

1667. You're stressed, you're sensitive.

1668. I mean, what's going on?

1669. Telephone for you.

1670. Yes.

1671. Mom.

1672. What's going on?

1673. What?

1674. When?

1675. He maketh me lie down in the green pastures,

1676. he leadeth me beside the still waters.

1677. He restoreth my soul.

1678. He leadeth me in the path of righteousness

1679. for his name's sake.

1680. Though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,

1681. I will fear no evil,

1682. for thou art with me.

1683. Thy rod, thy staff, they comfort me.

1684. Preparest a table before me...

1685. And I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.

1686. Amen.

1687. What?

1688. I'm fine, Ivana.

1689. You don't need to be fine.

1690. Okay.

1691. Look at me. Do you like what you see?

1692. Good, because it's not me, it's a recording of me...

1693. Hey...

1694. - I'm fine, I'm fine. - You don't need to be fine.

1695. I'm fine. Stop!

1696. Don't fucking... Don't fucking come near me!

1697. It's gonna be okay, Donald.

1698. Donald...

1699. Please stop looking at me, and stop touching me.

1700. Hello. Thank you.

1701. The golden boy of New York City.

1702. Fantastic. I feel great.

1703. Just fantastic. Thank you.

1704. Is it glamorous or is it glamorous?

1705. - I think it's glamorous. - What is it?

1706. When you're willing to spend the kind of money

1707. that I've spent...

1708. Are you gonna perform tonight? Great.

1709. Smile.

1710. A lot of people said Trump Tower could not be done,

1711. and uh, in fact our loser mayor tried everything

1712. to deny the city this great building, and he's lost.

1713. He's simply lost.

1714. We've got the best people buying in;

1715. Carson, Spielberg, Prince Charles and Diana.

1716. Everybody wants a piece of Trump.

1717. Fantastic, fantastic. Oh, I think I see Mr Cohn!

1718. - Oh, Roy. - How are you, Randy?

1719. - Very well. - Here he is.

1720. - How you doing tonight? - I'm good, I'm very excited.

1721. It's, uh, very exciting.

1722. Call you.

1723. I've never met anyone who reminds me more of myself.

1724. Donald, he's got grit, he is, uh,

1725. relentless in the pursuit of perfection.

1726. Look at this, it's a masterpiece

1727. uh, marble waterfalls...

1728. Listen, I could've built it taller than the Twin Towers,

1729. if I wanted. - Gentlemen, enjoy your night.

1730. It's good to see you, Randy.

1731. Donald, could, could I talk to you for a minute?

1732. Yeah, sure. How are you?

1733. You look like shit. Can I get an iced water?

1734. No. I know it's a bad time, I just...

1735. What's going on? Are you tired?

1736. I'm just, uh, overworked, is all.

1737. Alright. Well, maybe you should try these.

1738. What are those?

1739. Diet pills. I got 'em from my doctor.

1740. They're amazing for everything.

1741. Energy, sleep. I don't even sleep anymore.

1742. Are you, you sure that's a good thing?

1743. Well, I can't do deals when I sleep,

1744. so yeah, that's a good thing.

1745. Listen, uh, I just, uh, I need to ask you a little favour.

1746. - Sure. - I was wondering if you might

1747. be able to put Russell up at the Hyatt?

1748. Why?

1749. The country house is... it's too cold for him.

1750. Er, he has pneumonia.

1751. Get him a blanket.

1752. Russell's a good kid and he's, he's very loyal, uh,

1753. and it'd mean a lot to me.

1754. Listen, he never helped me, but I'll do it for you,

1755. no problem, alright?

1756. Come over here for a second.

1757. - What? - Do you think she looks good?

1758. Oh sure. She looks like a real beauty queen.

1759. I mean, every night she comes home telling me what to do.

1760. I feel like I'm married to a business partner.

1761. I don't, I don't feel anything. I look at her and it's, like...

1762. Whatever.

1763. At least I got her to do her tits.

1764. Oh yeah?

1765. They're amazing.

1766. Ah, Akio-san!

1767. - Hey, how are you? - There you are.

1768. Listen, uh, I want, I want you to see this, uh,

1769. What is it with Roy? He always looks sick.

1770. No, he's fine.

1771. Wonderful to see you.

1772. Oh no, no...

1773. - How are you, huh? - Wonderful.

1774. - What do you think? - I love this lobby.

1775. - I planned it myself. - Oh...

1776. Well, I let her do all the easy stuff.

1777. - So, tell me, how do you like? - Oh, I love it.

1778. - How we doing, Dad? - Oh, hey.

1779. - How's the view? It's alright.

1780. I wonder what the electric bill is for that?

1781. That, that seems impractical.

1782. Don't worry about that, Dad.

1783. You know what this reminds me of?

1784. When I built, er, Trump Tower on Coney Island.

1785. Trump Village.

1786. You built Trump Village, I built Trump Tower.

1787. - Right. - This is Trump Tower.

1788. Right. That's what I meant.

1789. But when I, when I built that high rise in, uh,

1790. in Trump Village, uh,

1791. boats could see it 20 miles out to sea.

1792. This is very different than that, Dad, okay?

1793. This is... this is the big league.

1794. - The big time. - Oh, well.

1795. You know, um...

1796. I've been meaning to say, you know, uh...

1797. I know that I've been tough on you, right?

1798. But look at you now, huh?

1799. You're a killer. A king.

1800. Right?

1801. Right?

1802. Mm.

1803. Try some caviar.

1804. It's the best.

1805. You're gorgeous.

1806. Hey.

1807. I got you a gift.

1808. The G-spot.

1809. The G-spot.

1810. "Experiment with your G-spot as you may have done

1811. with your clitoris, and if and when you learn

1812. to masturbate that way.” Oh, that's... great.

1813. That's, uh, great.

1814. - Wanna go upstairs? - Listen, uh...

1815. I gotta tell you, I'm, uh...

1816. What? Tell me.

1817. I'm just not attracted to you anymore.

1818. Donald...

1819. Really, I mean, every time I, uh,

1820. kiss you I feel like, you know,

1821. it's my duty or something.

1822. I mean, it's, uh... - Donald...

1823. And I'm touching you, I'm touching

1824. those fake plastic tits. I mean, I feel weird.

1825. They were your idea.

1826. You made me do it.

1827. Well, maybe they were a mistake.

1828. Donald. Donald...

1829. Can you tell me what is happening?

1830. You are behaving like an animal and you're hurting me.

1831. - Why are you doing this? - Ivana, I, I...

1832. You don't care how it makes me feel?

1833. Ivana, I'm just trying to be honest.

1834. I'm, I'm... really, I'm telling you...

1835. Oh my God. I don't know what's happening.

1836. Is it because of the stupid pills that you're taking?

1837. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think what's happening is

1838. you're getting a bit of a bigger head

1839. because you're forgetting your story.

1840. - You came over here to... - My story?

1841. From Eastern Czechoslo-fucking- vakia or whatever the fuck it is

1842. and you married me. - And where did you come, Donnie?

1843. Where did you come from, hm? Queens.

1844. Have you looked at yourself in the mirror, huh? Have you?

1845. - I have. What's your point? - Your face look like an orange.

1846. - Okay, okay. - And you're getting fat.

1847. - Right. - You're getting ugly!

1848. You're a rude and terrible, terrible person.

1849. You're getting bald! You're disgusting!

1850. Bald? Fucking bald!

1851. Uh!

1852. Oh, fuck!

1853. Donald!

1854. Fuck!

1855. Donald!

1856. Am I fucking on that G-spot? Huh?

1857. Is that your G-spot? Huh?

1858. Did I find it? Did I fucking find it? Huh?

1859. How does that feel? Does that feel good?

1860. - Huh?

1861. Yeah...

1862. Two new casinos in Atlantic City

1863. in just two years.

1864. Donald Trump has been on an impressive shopping spree.

1865. There seem to be no limits to the expansion of his empire.

1866. Japan? It's the best.

1867. A lot of money, a lot of money in Japan, huh?

1868. From the sea to the sky,

1869. some say the age of Trump has begun.

1870. Trump Tower, Trump City, Trump Plaza, Trump Castle.

1871. - Does ego come into it? - It sells, Mike, it sells.

1872. It has nothing to do with the ego, it sells.

1873. Here he comes, folks. DI!

1874. Wow, so many people here. I can't believe it.

1875. - How's it going, Dan? - Ah...

1876. It's all thanks to my wife. She's a hell of a manager.

1877. She even cleans the floors herself.

1878. So funny.

1879. We've got record numbers, alright?

1880. We'll talk. You're gonna be very happy.

1881. Very happy.

1882. $ Fantasy boy ¢

1883. J Please be my lover Not my toy J

1884. J Cause I need you to be real ;

1885. J To be no fantasy 7

1886. J I want to touch and feel &

1887. & My fantasy boy?

1888. - Fuck! - Mm. What's going on?

1889. Stop for a second, stop for a second.

1890. Forget it.

1891. Nothing, nothing.

1892. Nothing, I'm just, uh...

1893. I'm so overwhelmed, you know. I've got a lot going on,

1894. you know, these people are crawling up my ass down there.

1895. We got these coin machines. they're supposed to wait

1896. eight hours, they've gotta replace 'em in two hours.

1897. There's never been people that are playing that fast

1898. and that hard.

1899. Like I told you, fellas, we're gonna be number one.

1900. Number one, nobody competes with it.

1901. - Donald, we need to talk about the figures...

1902. And by the way, here's the difference.

1903. We're talking about Atlantic City,

1904. not Las Vegas. Great job. - Donald...

1905. Wait, what do we have in Atlantic City?

1906. We've got the ocean! We've got the ocean right here, fellas.

1907. We're gonna also make this the boxing mecca.

1908. I was talking to Don King about bringing Mike Tyson

1909. and various, uh, situations over here

1910. because that's gonna be a lot of money, you know what I mean?

1911. I think like a prize fighter. I don't like to tell people

1912. where I wanna go, what I wanna do.

1913. I wanna just roll with the punches, you know what I mean?

1914. And I think that's gonna be good for Atlantic City.

1915. That's great, but we've been hearing the exact same thing

1916. since you nearly defaulted on your loan payment last quarter.

1917. Yeah, but there's never been anything like this

1918. of this magnitude, this quality.

1919. The Taj Mahal's gonna be the eighth wonder of the...

1920. Alright, you listen to me, you son of a bitch.

1921. If you don't make a goddamn payment

1922. by the end of this month,

1923. my bankruptcy attorneys are gonna be up your ass.

1924. My credit is good, my credit is solid

1925. and you fellas have nothing to worry about.

1926. Last warning, Donald.

1927. I've got people to answer to.

1928. Do you gamble, Roger?

1929. You like to gamble, huh? Play a little slot machine?

1930. I like to make money, not lose it.

1931. Well, let me tell you something.

1932. There's gonna be a lot of grandmothers in Atlantic City

1933. that are gonna be very happy with that.

1934. - Oh yeah. - Okay?

1935. - Budget, $1 billion. - Wow!

1936. - Yeah, you gotta come stay. - Very Eastern flair, huh?

1937. - This is something. - Well, it is, it is.

1938. Yes?

1939. I've got Roy on the phone.

1940. Uh, tell him I'll call him back.

1941. Listen, Reagan's making this country so fucking rich,

1942. you can't lose! - Well...

1943. I'm telling you, Donald!

1944. He stands for all the things you care about.

1945. Lower taxes, cutting regulations.

1946. - A powerful military... - Well, I, I like that.

1947. - Like it used to be. Right? - Yes, we need that.

1948. - We do. - We need that.

1949. Hey, in fact, we have a brand new campaign slogan.

1950. Listen to this.

1951. “Let's make America great again.”

1952. Wow.

1953. Hm.

1954. Well, I like the 'again' part.

1955. You know, it points to a great past.

1956. It does. Not many people see that.

1957. Well, I do, okay? 'Cause I love this country,

1958. and I'm tired of seeing this country getting ripped off

1959. like you wouldn't believe.

1960. It's losing $200 billion a year, Roger.

1961. $200 billion. Does Reagan know that?

1962. 'Cause all these, these oil sheikhs, and the Japs,

1963. and the welfare queens, and the union thugs,

1964. they're sucking us dry. - You're right.

1965. It's time to get smart and it's time to get tough,

1966. because otherwise there's not gonna be a country

1967. and there's not gonna be a world.

1968. - And you know who's tough? - You.

1969. The Soviets. They get it, believe me.

1970. You're talking about tough and strong

1971. Listen, you want me to read, you know,

1972. about the missiles, it's gonna take me an hour and a half.

1973. I probably know most of that anyway, so...

1974. Donald, I'm telling you, I, I love passionate you are.

1975. Have you thought about running for office?

1976. Well, look, I'd run very well, right?

1977. I mean, but uh, no, no.

1978. - No? - Come on, Roger,

1979. let me tell you something. Government is for losers.

1980. - Come on, you'd do great! - Hey...

1981. I know politicians, Roger, okay?

1982. I know politicians better than anyone, and some of them

1983. are smart, very few, but most are dumber than a rock.

1984. Let's be honest, okay?

1985. I give money to politicians so they do what I want.

1986. They're all very corrupt and stupid, okay?

1987. And you know that, Rog. But you know what?

1988. I'd love a blow job on Air Force One.

1989. That'd be pretty fabulous.

1990. Hey, I'm sure it's happened before.

1991. - Can you make that happen? Huh? - Yeah, well, hey, hey,

1992. call me if you change your mind, okay?

1993. Well, listen, you get me on that Air Force One, we'll talk.

1994. Okay. - Alright.

1995. Tell Ronnie he's got my support.

1996. - You got it. - Hang on one second. Yes?

1997. - Uh, Roy's on the phone again. - I'll call him later.

1998. - Yeah. - Anyway...

1999. Hey, uh, Donald, before I go, have you, uh,

2000. have you seen Roy lately? - Uh...

2001. No, I'm gonna call him back and, uh, we're gonna talk. Why?

2002. You haven't heard?

2003. Heard what?

2004. Well, uh, Russell has AIDS.

2005. - He's sick as a dog. - Mm.

2006. That's, uh... wow, that's terrible.

2007. Hey, he still your lawyer?

2008. Well, he's not my lawyer per se.

2009. I mean, I have a number of attorneys, right?

2010. Different lawyers, different things.

2011. - Mm. - But, um...

2012. - That's really terrible, Roger. - Yeah, yeah.

2013. Well, the world's a mess.

2014. - Goodbye Donald. - Yep.

2015. Fiona?

2016. Come over here.

2017. Er...

2018. what did Roy say?

2019. Not too much, but he's called three times.

2020. Does he sound sick?

2021. Little bit, yeah. He's got a cough.

2022. Alright, if he calls again, just tell him

2023. I'm out of the office, alright? And if he shows up,

2024. put him in the conference room by himself, okay?

2025. - Will that be all? - That's it, thank you.

2026. - Hey, thank you very much. - Donald!

2027. Roy!

2028. Long time no see.

2029. Is this some kind of a goddamn joke?

2030. What is that?

2031. This? This is how you thank me?

2032. The manager at the Hyatt kicked Russell out.

2033. Alright, that's probably a mistake.

2034. Oh, fuck you, Donald!

2035. Fuck you!

2036. Uh, your office sent me the bill.

2037. - It's a mistake. - Don't you try me.

2038. Remember who taught you this stuff.

2039. I'll call 'em, alright? I'll just, uh, I'll fix it.

2040. You ungrateful fucking cock-sucking nobody!

2041. - Roy... - I made you.

2042. Don't you forget that. I made you.

2043. I'm pretty sure I made myself, Roy...

2044. - Uh, no. You were a loser then, - Hey, listen, listen...

2045. - and you're still a loser! - Okay, Roy, listen,

2046. I'm running a business here, okay?

2047. Guests complained about Russell's condition,

2048. which you lied about, by the way, alright?

2049. So that's what happened.

2050. It's not my fault.

2051. What are you, what are you trying to say?

2052. I hear he's sick. Really sick.

2053. Yeah, he's got pneumonia.

2054. - He's got pneumonia? - That's right.

2055. Is that the name for it now on the street?

2056. Watch out. Maybe you'll get it.

2057. You know, you don't want that.

2058. What, are you scared of me?

2059. No, just...

2060. - It's a little cold out. - Huh.

2061. Good to see that you have, uh,

2062. lost the last traces of, uh, decency you once had.

2063. Well, I learned from the best, Roy, what can I say?

2064. I love you too.

2065. You've got some feelings now suddenly?

2066. You're the fucking devil!

2067. I don't recognise you anymore, okay?

2068. You're the fucking devill Get the fuck out of here!

2069. - You scare me. - You fucking old man!

2070. You're no saint.

2071. You're not God.

2072. Why don't you go save him?

2073. Save him over there.

2074. Don't get sick, Roy!

2075. - Dad! There's the big man. - Oh!

2076. - Look at this guy, huh? - Ah, hey, how are you?

2077. - He looks great. - Look at this guy!

2078. You look good, Dad. You look great.

2079. - Ah, good. - This is Erwin.

2080. This man's got 195 IQ, alright?

2081. The best. Erwin, where'd you go to school?

2082. - Columbia. - Oh boy.

2083. - He's my new Roy Cohn. - Oh.

2084. Alright. Go ahead. And listen, Dad,

2085. I bought some land under the Empire State Building.

2086. - Oh boy. - Erwin, you love the Empire

2087. State Building, right? - The best building.

2088. How many units can you put in there?

2089. Don't worry about it. Listen, take a look at that.

2090. Erwin's got a couple of things to say.

2091. - Okay. - Yeah, Mr Trump, my office

2092. had a request relating to the trust.

2093. This will allow us to avail ourselves of some

2094. new tax breaks and reduce the overall, uh,

2095. taxation on the trust. - Okay, the trust.

2096. So, with your signature here, we'll be putting Donald in

2097. as the trustee for the trust. And that will allow you

2098. to not have to worry yourself. - Save you a lot of taxes, Dad.

2099. - Okay. - Absolutely.

2100. - For the trust. - That's right.

2101. - Yeah, you want me to sign here? - Yes I do.

2102. - Oh really? - Mom, what are you doing?

2103. We don't have time. I gotta get back into the city.

2104. Listen Mom, we don't have time. Dad, go ahead.

2105. - Is that the tea? - Please sign right there.

2106. - This is for the... - What is this?

2107. - This is for the trust, Mary. - Oh. Well, let me take a look.

2108. - For the, um... - It's just a formality.

2109. - And who are you? - This is, this is my attorney.

2110. - This is your siblings' trust. - I understand, but listen...

2111. You're jeopardising your, your siblings' trust.

2112. No, I'm not jeopardising anything.

2113. I have some loans, they need to be guaranteed.

2114. I gotta just get these Taiwan bankers off my back.

2115. - What... - Okay?

2116. I just need to show the bankers that I'm good.

2117. Your father is a little confused.

2118. He's not the right person to be signing this document.

2119. That's why we should have,

2120. as you should know as a lawyer...

2121. - Mom. - Sound mind deciding...

2122. Who's gonna look after this family, okay?

2123. Who's gonna look after this family when he,

2124. when he can't fucking spell his name?

2125. - Language! Donald... - Let's go Erwin, come on.

2126. - Mom, you don't understand. - What is the rush?

2127. I'm looking out for the family, alright?

2128. Language, Donald. - I'm looking out for the family.

2129. I'm pretty much sure that nobody else is doing that.

2130. Not Elizabeth, not Mary, not fucking Freddy...

2131. No! You do not speak his name!

2132. You have no right!

2133. It's time for you to go.

2134. Okay, you need to stop consuming these immediately.

2135. I thought they were like vitamins.

2136. It's amphetamines. It's cheap speed.

2137. Erectile dysfunction's one of the many side-effects.

2138. I don't have that problem, but, you know, I eat.

2139. I mean, we all like to eat, doc, right?

2140. - Mm-hmm. - You know, did you see this?

2141. Are you seeing this? It keeps growing.

2142. Everything is growing, and I'm not talking about my hair.

2143. Well, have you tried exercise?

2144. - No, no, absolutely not. - Why not?

2145. You know that's gonna kill you, right, doc?

2146. First of all, the body is like a battery.

2147. It has finite energy, it runs out.

2148. - Okay. That's not true. - That is totally the truth.

2149. - Totally the truth. - Okay. Donald...

2150. And the problem that I'm having is, I'm just...

2151. I, I need to stop growing, that's all.

2152. Okay. We have surgical options.

2153. - That sounds great. - Okay, yeah.

2154. So, with an incision here, here and here...

2155. we're gonna get rid of the, uh, the ab fat

2156. and we're gonna get the love handles gone too.

2157. Oh, I hate the love handles.

2158. What about my hair?

2159. Okay, you've got some male pattern baldness. Um...

2160. - And that's normal, right? - It is, absolutely, okay?

2161. But it doesn't have to be, you know?

2162. You'll talk to our in-house specialist.

2163. About a scalp reduction?

2164. We're gonna cover that up easily.

2165. - Okay. - Okay?

2166. Getting old sucks. Do you know what I mean?

2167. - Yes. - Do you ever feel that way?

2168. Well, a lot of my patients do.

2169. One more question.

2170. What do you think about AIDS?

2171. - What do... - What do you think about AIDS?

2172. - What do I think about it? - Yeah. How do people get it?

2173. 'Cause it's not just homosexuals, doc.

2174. - Right. - You know?

2175. The research indicates HIV, uh, spreads

2176. through the exchange of blood or semen.

2177. - Semen, yeah. - Yes.

2178. Well, and what if they touch you?

2179. What if somebody touches you... - That's okay.

2180. - Or if they breathe on you? - They can breathe on you.

2181. That's okay.

2182. Okay.

2183. The legal establishment in the state of New York

2184. wants to take away Roy Coho's licence to practice law.

2185. They say he's dishonest. They want to disbar him

2186. for allegedly playing fast and loose with clients' money.

2187. How are you, Roy?

2188. I'm terrific, er, Mike. It's great to see you.

2189. This is what the disciplinary committee

2190. of the bar says about you.

2191. A total lack of moral character and professional fitness,

2192. and a cruel public use of your illness.

2193. That's a pack of lies, because I've never used my illness, uh,

2194. to plead for anything.

2195. I've called them a bunch of yoyos, and, uh,

2196. that's what they are, Mike. They're a bunch of yoyos.

2197. Mm-hmm. When I tell friends that I'm going to

2198. do a profile on you,

2199. the question on everyone's mind is that,

2200. and I'm sure you know what I'm going to say,

2201. do you have AIDS?

2202. Oh. No. I mean, that's easy.

2203. I have liver cancer, which, uh,

2204. they found moves in strange directions,

2205. er, but that...

2206. categorically I do not have AIDS.

2207. I'm sure you know why people ask about AIDS, Roy Cohn,

2208. because they believe you're a homosexual.

2209. Well, uh, that's a lie.

2210. Every facet of my personality, my, uh,

2211. aggressiveness, my toughness, and, uh,

2212. everything along those lines, is just

2213. totally, uh, incompatible...

2214. Hello, it's Roy.

2215. Roy, it's Donald. How are you?

2216. Donald.

2217. How are you?

2218. Great, how are you?

2219. Listen, I, I watched, uh, Mike Wallace.

2220. Right. Well, how'd I do?

2221. You owned it.

2222. Did I look, uh,

2223. did I look weak?

2224. Well, listen,

2225. he's an asshole, you know?

2226. Frankly, he asked nasty questions.

2227. How's Russell?

2228. Oh, uh, Russell died.

2229. I'm sorry, Roy. I mean, uh...

2230. You're not sounding very good.

2231. New York is a mess. I mean, these bankers, uh,

2232. they got no feel

2233. for the deal, and, uh,

2234. everyone's crawling up my ass about the debt.

2235. Don't even get me started on Ivana. I mean, she's a bitch.

2236. So, you thought, uh...

2237. give old Roy a call and ask for some free legal advice?

2238. I mean, is there anyone better? Come on.

2239. I miss you, Roy.

2240. You're the only guy that cared.

2241. You're the only guy that gave a shit

2242. about me.

2243. Listen, I have this property in Florida,

2244. you're gonna love it. I think you should come down.

2245. - Yeah? - Let's get you to the ocean.

2246. How do you feel, though? You feel alright, no?

2247. Oh, sure, I, I feel like a million bucks.

2248. 'Cause you don't look that bad.

2249. You know, if I had my way, I'll be as thin as you.

2250. I'm gonna do this procedure.

2251. You know, they, they suck the fat from under your skin.

2252. And also, don't tell anybody, but...

2253. I'm getting 'em to remove my bald patch.

2254. You, uh, you look like the fella from, uh, Miami Vice.

2255. Who dressed you, for crying out loud?

2256. It's this broad I'm banging, Carly.

2257. She has, uh... great big natural tits.

2258. Wanna see? Look at that. Look at that.

2259. She's a ten.

2260. Okay.

2261. It was built to be the winter White House.

2262. Wow.

2263. These walls are all silk tapestries,

2264. and, uh, the ceiling is all gold.

2265. It's pretty impressive.

2266. And they wanted a condo, can you believe that?

2267. What, uh, what happened to your leg?

2268. I didn't pay 'em on time, that's what happened.

2269. Ivana wants to turn this into Camelot.

2270. I mean, that's what she said. I was like,

2271. “Please don't compare us to the Kennedys.”

2272. Oh...

2273. I got you a little, uh,

2274. a little birthday gift.

2275. For me?

2276. It's your birthday.

2277. Oh, you didn't have to do that, Donald.

2278. Come on. 59, but who's counting?

2279. Huh?

2280. Tiffany diamonds and, uh, look what it says.

2281. Trump.

2282. What do you think? Are you...

2283. Oh, well, er...

2284. Yeah, that's terrific.

2285. Yeah, they're gonna look good.

2286. Oh, look at this. Did you see this?

2287. Donald got me, uh, diamond cufflinks for my birthday.

2288. Beautiful, right?

2289. My darling, this is cheap pewter.

2290. The stone is zirconia.

2291. They're fake.

2292. Donald has no shame.

2293. Everyone, I just, uh, I just wanna say a few words.

2294. Tonight we're celebrating a really great guy, Roy Cohn.

2295. Roy's tough. Some say vicious, even scary.

2296. I mean, look at him.

2297. That's not exactly a face you wanna bring home to your mother,

2298. am I right?

2299. But, um, you know, with Roy it's about friendship, right?

2300. He has to like you, and if he doesn't, forget it.

2301. He has to like you, right? Thank God he liked me.

2302. And, I mean, I don't know, I mean, he must've thought

2303. I was a baby or something, 'cause, you know, I don't drink,

2304. I don't smoke, I don't take drugs.

2305. I have other problems which I don't wanna tell you about,

2306. but, uh...

2307. For whatever reason, he liked me.

2308. But the truth is, as, uh, tough as Roy is,

2309. and he is brutal,

2310. he, uh, truly is a loyal guy.

2311. It's a matter of honour with him.

2312. And, um, frankly he's a hero.

2313. Happy birthday, Roy.

2314. Happy birthday, Roy. - This is to you,

2315. and uh, mazel tov.

2316. Well, uh...

2317. I don't know what to say. Um...

2318. Thank you, Donald.

2319. A 24-carat American patriot and a friend.

2320. I know you're gonna go on to do a lot of things

2321. that would make me, uh, very proud.

2322. - Thank you. - Well, it's not over yet, Roy.

2323. What? My life?

2324. Let's hope not. Maybe not tonight.

2325. Stay alive for a little longer, Roy.

2326. I gotta go off to bed I think.

2327. Sorry.

2328. There he is, huh? The greatest writer of all time.

2329. - How you doing? - Sorry Tony,

2330. I was with a contractor.

2331. - It's all good. - Well, here we go.

2332. Here we are. - Where do you wanna start?

2333. Let's see if this is gonna be a negative book.

2334. Well, honestly I'm amazed that you asked me to write this book,

2335. Mr Trump, considering the article I wrote on you

2336. wasn't exactly flattering. - Yeah, well,

2337. you put me on the cover of New York Magazine,

2338. and you can write. That's the most important thing.

2339. Now you just have to be nice to me because I'm paying you.

2340. Sure you are.

2341. So, I was looking through some of your interviews,

2342. and I'm finding it hard to settle on a grand narrative

2343. for the book. Yes, you like making deals...

2344. Well, I'm gonna stop you right there, Tony.

2345. I don't, I don't like making deals. Do you understand?

2346. I love making deals. I love making deals.

2347. The bigger the better.

2348. - But to what end? - To what end?

2349. Deals are the end. I mean, that's like asking Da Vinci

2350. why he, why he painted the Mona Lisa.

2351. You consider yourself an artist?

2352. Well, I am an artist, Tony, and deals are my art form.

2353. Look, making deals is an art form,

2354. and I wanna put this in the book.

2355. It's something that you're born with.

2356. You either have it or you don't have it, okay?

2357. And if you don't have it, don't do deals.

2358. Just get a beautiful job, have a nice family and relax.

2359. The Art of the Deal.

2360. That sounds good.

2361. You know, I like that. That's...

2362. I think people will buy into that.

2363. Well, let's see, Tony. I'd buy that book.

2364. Okay, let's go back to your childhood.

2365. Er, living in Queens, what was that like?

2366. Well, I had a great childhood.

2367. Very normal, uh, wonderful parents, supportive parents.

2368. And, you know, my dad was tough,

2369. and, uh, he helped me develop a killer instinct.

2370. And?

2371. And, uh, yeah, frankly,

2372. you know, I don't wanna,

2373. I don't like to talk too much about the past, Tony.

2374. You dwell on the past, you go right down the tubes.

2375. This is just to give the reader some context.

2376. Tony...

2377. Don't, don't come here busting my balls

2378. looking for some deep shit, alright?

2379. I hate when everybody tries to dig around your life

2380. looking for some deep shit.

2381. We're all animals.

2382. Everybody wants to get rich and have other people

2383. suck their cock. Everybody wants to win, Tony.

2384. And that's the truth of it.

2385. - But that won't read well. - Well, that's the truth of it.

2386. But it's not the truth we're looking for right now.

2387. Right now people need to think

2388. there's some sort of special sauce.

2389. Principles, a set of rules that make you different.

2390. Well, that's easy, 'cause I have my rules.

2391. I got three rules, okay?

2392. They're my three rules of winning.

2393. Rule one, the world is a mess, okay?

2394. The world is a mess, Tony.

2395. You have to fight back, you have to have a tough skin.

2396. Attack, attack, attack.

2397. If somebody comes after you with a knife,

2398. you shoot 'em back with a bazooka, okay?

2399. Rule two, what is truth, Tony?

2400. What is truth?

2401. You know what's truth? What you say is truth,

2402. what I say is truth, what he says is truth.

2403. What is the truth in life? Deny everything, admit nothing.

2404. You know what's true? What I say is true.

2405. And third of all, and most important,

2406. no matter how fucked you are,

2407. you never, ever, ever admit defeat.

2408. You always claim victory.

2409. Always.

2410. You know, that sounds like the US foreign policy

2411. for the past quarter century.

2412. Well, unlike that, this actually works.

2413. And I won a lot, Tony. I won a lot.

2414. And even when they said I didn't,

2415. I still turned it into a win,

2416. and that was the difference.

2417. So, how'd you come by these set of rules?

2418. Well, I have an instinct, Tony. I have a killer instinct.

2419. I always have.

2420. Listen, Tony, you have to have a natural ability.

2421. I'm a big believer in natural ability,

2422. and a lot of that is genetics. You have to be born with it,

2423. you know, and some people aren't and some people are,

2424. and that's the difference.

2425. You have to have it.