1. 'On November 1, 1959, the population
of New York City was 8,042,783.Copy !req
2. 'If you laid them all end to end, figuring
an average height of 5 feet 6½ inches...Copy !req
3. 'they would reach from Times Square
to the outskirts of Karachi, Pakistan.Copy !req
4. 'I know facts like this because I work for
an insurance company, Consolidated Life.Copy !req
5. 'We're one of the top five companies
in the country.Copy !req
6. 'Our home office has 31,259 employees...Copy !req
7. 'which is more than the entire population
of, uh... Natchez, Mississippi.Copy !req
8. 'I work on the 19th floor.
Ordinary Policy Department...Copy !req
9. 'Premium Accounting Division,
Section W, desk number 861.Copy !req
10. 'My name is C.C. C for Calvin, C
for Clifford. But most people call me Bud.Copy !req
11. 'I've worked here three years, ten months,
and my take-home pay is $94.70 a week.Copy !req
12. 'The hours in our department
are 8.50 to 5.20.'Copy !req
13. 'They're staggered by floor so 16 elevators
can handle the 31,259 employees...Copy !req
14. 'without a serious traffic jam.Copy !req
15. 'As for myself, I very often stay on at the
office and work for an extra hour or two...Copy !req
16. 'especially when the weather is bad.Copy !req
17. 'It's not that I'm overly ambitious.
It's just a way of killing time...Copy !req
18. 'until it's all right for me to go home.Copy !req
19. 'You see, I have this little problem
with my apartment.Copy !req
20. 'I live in the West 60s,
just half a block from Central Park.Copy !req
21. 'My rent is $85 a month.
It used to be $80 until last July...Copy !req
22. 'when Mrs. Lieberman, the landlady,
put in a second-hand air conditioner.Copy !req
23. 'It's a real nice apartment. Nothing fancy,
but kind of cozy. Just right for a bachelor.Copy !req
24. 'The only problem is
I can't always get in when I want to.'Copy !req
25. Cut it out, Sylvia.
We've gotta get out of here.Copy !req
26. What's the panic?
I'm gonna have another Martini.Copy !req
27. Please, Sylvia. It's a quarter of nine.Copy !req
28. First you can't wait to get me here
and then it's rush, rush, rush.Copy !req
29. - Makes a person feel cheap.
- Sweetie, it's not that.Copy !req
30. But I promised the guy
I'd be outta here by eight.Copy !req
31. - What guy? Whose apartment is this?
- Some schnook that works in the office.Copy !req
32. - Good evening, Mr. Baxter.
- Mrs. Lieberman.Copy !req
33. Some weather we're having. Must be from
all that meshugaas at Cape Canaveral.Copy !req
34. - You're locked out of your apartment?
- No, no. Just waiting for a friend.Copy !req
35. - Good night, Mrs. Lieberman.
- Good night, Mr. Baxter.Copy !req
36. - Where do you live?
- I told you. With my mother.Copy !req
37. - Where does she live?
- 179th Street, in the Bronx.Copy !req
38. - All right. I'll take you to the subway.
- Like hell you will! You'll buy me a cab.Copy !req
39. - Why do all you dames live in the Bronx?
- You bring other girls up here?Copy !req
40. Certainly not. I'm a happily married man.Copy !req
41. - Hello there, Mrs. Dreyfuss.
- Something's the matter?Copy !req
42. Uh, no. I... seem to have
dropped my key. Ah, here it is.Copy !req
43. Such a racket I heard in your place.Copy !req
44. Maybe you had burglars?Copy !req
45. Don't worry about that. There's nothing in
here anybody'd wanna steal. Good night.Copy !req
46. Sorry to bother you, Buddy-boy,
but the little lady forgot her galoshes.Copy !req
47. Mr. Kirkeby, you were supposed
to be outta here by eight.Copy !req
48. I know, but those things don't always
run on schedule like a Greyhound bus.Copy !req
49. I don't mind in the summer,
but on a rainy night...Copy !req
50. - I haven't had any dinner yet.
- Sure, sure.Copy !req
51. Oh!Copy !req
52. I put in a good word for you
with Sheldrake in Personnel.Copy !req
53. - Mr. Sheldrake?
- That's right.Copy !req
54. We discussed manpower promotionwise.
I told him you're a bright boy.Copy !req
55. They're always on the lookout for
young executives. You're on your way up.Copy !req
56. - And you're also out of liquor.
- Mr. Eichelberger, Mortgage and Loans...Copy !req
57. - Last night he had a Halloween party.
- Lay in some vodka and vermouth for me.Copy !req
58. - You still owe me for the last two bottles.
- I'll pay you on Friday.Copy !req
59. Oh, and whatever happened to those little
cheese crackers you used to have?Copy !req
60. Cheese crackers?Copy !req
61. Cheers.Copy !req
62. - Good evening, Baxter.
- Hi, Doc. Had a late call?Copy !req
63. Yeah. Some clown at Schrafft's ate
a club sandwich... including the toothpick.Copy !req
64. - Well, good night, Doc.
- Say, Baxter.Copy !req
65. The way you're beltin' that stuff,
you must have cast-iron kidneys.Copy !req
66. That's not me. Just once in a while
I have a few people in for a drink.Copy !req
67. As a matter of fact, you must be
an iron man all around.Copy !req
68. From what I hear through the walls,
you're at it every night.Copy !req
69. - I'm sorry if it gets noisy.
- And sometimes there's a double-header.Copy !req
70. - A nebbish like you.
- Yeah. Well, I'll see you, Doc.Copy !req
71. You know, I'm doing some research
at the Columbia Medical Center.Copy !req
72. - Could you do us a favor?
- Me?Copy !req
73. When you make out your will...
and the way you're going, you should...Copy !req
74. would you mind leaving
your body to the university?Copy !req
75. My body? I'm afraid you guys'd
be disappointed. Good night, Doc.Copy !req
76. Slow down, kid.Copy !req
77. Oh, for heaven...Copy !req
78. 'From the world's greatest library
of film classics, we proudly present...Copy !req
79. 'Greta Garbo, John Barrymore...Copy !req
80. 'Joan Crawford, Wallace Beery
and Lionel Barrymore...Copy !req
81. 'in "Grand Hotel".Copy !req
82. 'But first, a word from our sponsor.Copy !req
83. 'If you smoke the modern way,
don't be fooled by phoney filter claims.'Copy !req
84. 'And now, "Grand Hotel"...Copy !req
85. 'starring Greta Garbo, John Barrymore...Copy !req
86. 'Joan Crawford, Wallace Beery
and Lionel Barrymore.Copy !req
87. 'But first, a word
from our alternate sponsor.Copy !req
88. 'Friends, do you have wobbly dentures?'Copy !req
89. - Hello.
- Hiya, Buddy-boy.Copy !req
90. I'm in this bar on 61st Street
and I figured I'd give you a little buzz.Copy !req
91. That's very nice of you but... who is this?Copy !req
92. Dobisch. Joe Dobisch, in Administration.Copy !req
93. - Oh, yeah. I didn't recognize your voice.
- That's OK, Buddy-boy.Copy !req
94. Like I was saying, I'm in this joint
on 61st and I think I got lucky.Copy !req
95. I'm sorry, Mr. Dobisch. I like to help
you fellas out, but it's sort of late.Copy !req
96. - Why don't we make it some other time?
- Listen, kid. I can't pass this up.Copy !req
97. She looks like Marilyn Monroe.Copy !req
98. I'm already in bed. And I took a sleeping
pill. So I'm afraid the answer is no.Copy !req
99. We're doing the monthly efficiency rating.
I'm putting you in the top ten.Copy !req
100. You don't wanna
louse yourself up, do you?Copy !req
101. No. But how can I be efficient in the
office if I don't get enough sleep at night?Copy !req
102. It's only eleven, and I just
want the place for 45 minutes.Copy !req
103. I'm getting lonely.
Who are you talking to, anyway?Copy !req
104. - My mother.
- Oh, that's sweet. That's real sweet.Copy !req
105. Ooh!Copy !req
106. Make it 30 minutes.
What do you say, Bud, huh?Copy !req
107. I'm all out of liquor,
there's no clean glasses...Copy !req
108. - There's no cheese crackers. No nothin'.
- Let me worry about that.Copy !req
109. Just leave the key under the mat
and clear out.Copy !req
110. Yes, Mr. Dobisch.Copy !req
111. Anything you say, Mr. Dobisch!Copy !req
112. No trouble at all, Mr. Dobisch!
Be my guest!Copy !req
113. We never close at Buddy-boy's.Copy !req
114. "Looks like Marilyn Monroe"!Copy !req
115. - This the place?
- Yeah.Copy !req
116. - How much?
- 70 cents.Copy !req
117. Get the money, will you?Copy !req
118. Watch those stingers!Copy !req
119. - Give him a buck.
- Thanks, lady.Copy !req
120. Put it back, honey!Copy !req
121. Attagirl.Copy !req
122. - Are you sure this is a good idea?
- Can't think of a better one.Copy !req
123. Barging in on your mother so late at night.Copy !req
124. Don't worry about the old lady. One
squawk from her and she's out of a job.Copy !req
125. Get the key, will you?Copy !req
126. Not there! Under the mat.Copy !req
127. - Under the mat?
- Yeah. Come on.Copy !req
128. Open up. We haven't got all night.Copy !req
129. - This is your mother's apartment?
- That's right.Copy !req
130. Mildred! He's at it again!Copy !req
131. - Morning, Mr. Kirkeby.
- How are you, Baxter?Copy !req
132. - They keeping you busy these days?
- Yes, sir. They are indeed.Copy !req
133. Good morning, Mr. Kessel, Miss Robinson,
Mr. Williams, Miss Livingston.Copy !req
134. Good morning, Mr. McKellway,
Mrs. Schubert, Mr. Davis.Copy !req
135. Good morning, Mr. Kirkeby.
Good morning, Mr. Baxter.Copy !req
136. - Morning, Miss Kubelik.
- That's all. Take it away.Copy !req
137. Watch the door, please. Blasting off.Copy !req
138. - What did you do to your hair?
- It made me nervous so I chopped it off.Copy !req
139. - Big mistake, huh?
- No. I sort of like it.Copy !req
140. - You got a lulu.
- Yeah. Better not get too close.Copy !req
141. - I never catch colds.
- Really?Copy !req
142. I was reading some sickness
and accident claims figures.Copy !req
143. The average New Yorker aged between
20 and 50 has two and a half colds a year.Copy !req
144. - That makes me feel just terrible.
- Why?Copy !req
145. If I have no colds a year, some poor slob
must have five colds a year.Copy !req
146. - Yeah. It's me.
- You shoulda stayed in bed this morning.Copy !req
147. I shoulda stayed in bed last night.Copy !req
148. 19!Copy !req
149. Watch your step.Copy !req
150. - And watch your hands, Mr. Kirkeby!
- Pardon?Copy !req
151. One of these days I'm gonna
shut these doors on you and...Copy !req
152. 20 next!Copy !req
153. That Kubelik. Boy, would I like
to get her on a slow elevator to China!Copy !req
154. - She's the best operator in the building.
- I'm pretty good myself.Copy !req
155. - But she won't give me a date.
- Maybe it's your approach.Copy !req
156. A lot of guys around here have tried
all kinds of approaches. No dice.Copy !req
157. - What's she trying to prove?
- She could just be a nice respectable girl.Copy !req
158. Listen to him! Little Lord Fauntleroy.Copy !req
159. Hello. Mr. Dobisch?
This is Baxter on the 19th floor.Copy !req
160. Oh, Buddy-boy!Copy !req
161. I was just about to call you. I'm sorry
about that mess on the living room wall.Copy !req
162. My friend kept insisting Picasso was
a bum, so she started to do that mural.Copy !req
163. It's not Picasso I'm calling about.Copy !req
164. It's the key to my apartment.
You're supposed to leave it under the mat.Copy !req
165. But I did. I distinctly
remember putting it there.Copy !req
166. Oh, I found the key all right.
Only it's the wrong key!Copy !req
167. It is? No wonder I couldn't get into
the executive washroom this morning.Copy !req
168. And I couldn't get into my apartment!Copy !req
169. So at 4am I gotta wake up the landlady
and give her a whole song and dance.Copy !req
170. That's a shame.
I'll send the key right down.Copy !req
171. And about your promotion.Copy !req
172. I'll send that efficiency report
to Mr. Sheldrake in Personnel.Copy !req
173. You may hear from him
before the day's over.Copy !req
174. Thank you, Mr. Dobisch.Copy !req
175. From Mr. Dobisch.Copy !req
176. Wait.Copy !req
177. For Mr. Dobisch.Copy !req
178. Mm-hm. Mm-hm.Copy !req
179. Vanderhof. Public Relations.Copy !req
180. Oh, yes, Baxter. Just a minute.Copy !req
181. All right, Miss Finch.
Type up what we got so far.Copy !req
182. Look, I've got you down for tonight...Copy !req
183. but I'll be using the place myself,
so I'll have to cancel.Copy !req
184. But it's her birthday.
I already ordered the cake.Copy !req
185. But I am sick. I got a terrible cold and a
fever. I got to go to bed right after work.Copy !req
186. If you got a cold, you go to a Turkish bath.
Spend the night. Sweat it out.Copy !req
187. That's how you get pneumonia. If I got
pneumonia, I'd be in bed for a month.Copy !req
188. OK. You made your point. We'll just
have to do it next Wednesday night.Copy !req
189. - It's the only night I can get away.
- Wednesday, Wednesday... Wednesday.Copy !req
190. I got somebody penciled in.Copy !req
191. Let me see what I can do.
I'll get back to you.Copy !req
192. - Mr. Eichelberger.
- Oh, yes, Baxter. What's your problem?Copy !req
193. Wednesday is out? Oh, that throws
a little monkey wrench into my agenda.Copy !req
194. Thursday? No,
I'm all tied up on Thursday.Copy !req
195. Let's schedule that, uh...
meeting for Friday.Copy !req
196. Friday.Copy !req
197. Let me see what I can do.
I'll get back to you.Copy !req
198. Premiumwise and billingwise, we are 18
percent ahead of last year Octoberwise.Copy !req
199. Hello? Yeah, Baxter. What's up?Copy !req
200. Instead of Friday, could you
possibly switch to Thursday?Copy !req
201. You'd be doing me a great favor.Copy !req
202. Let me check. I'll get back to you.Copy !req
203. Consolidated Life. I'll connect you.Copy !req
204. Sylvia, it's for you.Copy !req
205. Yeah?Copy !req
206. Oh, hello.Copy !req
207. Sure I got home all right.
You owe me 45 cents.Copy !req
208. Look, Sylvia. Instead of Friday,
could we make it Thursday night?Copy !req
209. Thursday? Well, that's
"The Untouchables" with Bob Stack!Copy !req
210. Bob who?Copy !req
211. All right, so we'll watch it
at the apartment. Big deal!Copy !req
212. Hello, Baxter? It's OK for Thursday.Copy !req
213. Thank you, Mr. Kirkeby.Copy !req
214. Mr. Eichelberger, it's OK for Friday.Copy !req
215. Mr. Vanderhof? OK for Wednesday.Copy !req
216. All right. I'll tell him.Copy !req
217. Hey, Baxter, that was Personnel.
Mr. Sheldrake's secretary.Copy !req
218. She's been trying to reach you for the last
20 minutes. They want you upstairs.Copy !req
219. - Are you getting promoted? Or fired?
- Would you care to make a small wager?Copy !req
220. - I've been here twice as long as you but...
- Let's say a dollar?Copy !req
221. It's a bet!Copy !req
222. - Going up?
- Oh! Excuse me.Copy !req
223. 27, please. Drive carefully. You're carrying
precious cargo. I mean manpowerwise.Copy !req
224. 27.Copy !req
225. You may not realize it, but I am
in the top ten, efficiencywise...Copy !req
226. and this may be the day promotionwise.Copy !req
227. You're beginning to sound
like Mr. Kirkeby already.Copy !req
228. - Why not, as they're kicking me upstairs?
- Couldn't happen to a nicer guy.Copy !req
229. You know, you're the only one
who takes his hat off in the elevator.Copy !req
230. Something happens to men in elevators.Copy !req
231. It's the change of altitude.
The blood rushes to their head.Copy !req
232. - I could tell you stories...
- I'd love to hear 'em.Copy !req
233. We could have lunch
in the cafeteria sometime.Copy !req
234. Or some evening, after work?Copy !req
235. - 27.
- Oh.Copy !req
236. - I hope everything goes all right.
- I hope so.Copy !req
237. They would call me today,
what with my cold.Copy !req
238. - How do I look?
- Fine. Wait.Copy !req
239. Thank you.Copy !req
240. I noticed, when you were still on the
local elevator, you always wore a flower.Copy !req
241. Good luck. And wipe your nose.Copy !req
242. C.C. Baxter, Ordinary Premium
Accounting. Mr. Sheldrake called me.Copy !req
243. I called you. That is,
I tried to for 20 minutes.Copy !req
244. - I'm sorry.
- Go on in.Copy !req
245. - Baxter?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
246. Come in, come in.Copy !req
247. I was sort of wondering
what you looked like, Baxter.Copy !req
248. - Sit down.
- Yes, Mr. Sheldrake.Copy !req
249. Been hearing some nice things about you.Copy !req
250. Mr. Dobisch says you're loyal,
cooperative, resourceful.Copy !req
251. - Mr. Dobisch said that?
- Mr. Kirkeby tells me you often work late...Copy !req
252. - without overtime.
- You know how it is. Things pile up.Copy !req
253. Mr. Vanderhof in Public Relations and
Mr. Eichelberger in Mortgage and Loans...Copy !req
254. would both like you
transferred to their departments.Copy !req
255. Very flattering.Copy !req
256. Tell me, Baxter. Just what is it
that makes you so popular?Copy !req
257. - I don't know.
- Think.Copy !req
258. - Would you mind repeating the question?
- Look, Baxter. I'm not stupid.Copy !req
259. I know everything that goes on
in this building every day of the year.Copy !req
260. You do?Copy !req
261. In 1957 we had an employee here,
name of Fowler. He was very popular too.Copy !req
262. It turned out
he was running a bookie joint...Copy !req
263. tying up our switchboard, using
our IBM machines to figure the odds.Copy !req
264. The day before the Kentucky Derby I
called in the vice squad, who raided him.Copy !req
265. - The vice squad?
- That's right.Copy !req
266. What's that got to do with me?
I'm not running any bookie joint.Copy !req
267. - Just what kind of joint are you running?
- Sir?Copy !req
268. A key is floating around from Kirkeby
to Vanderhof to Eichelberger to Dobisch.Copy !req
269. It's the key to a certain apartment.Copy !req
270. - Know who that apartment belongs to?
- Who?Copy !req
271. Loyal, resourceful, cooperative
C.C. Baxter.Copy !req
272. - Oh.
- Are you going to deny it?Copy !req
273. No. I'm not going to deny it.
If you'd just let me explain.Copy !req
274. You'd better.Copy !req
275. Well...Copy !req
276. about a year ago, I was going to night
school, studying advanced accounting.Copy !req
277. One of the guys in our department... lives
in Jersey... had to go to a banquet in town.Copy !req
278. He needed someplace to change
into a tuxedo, so I gave him the key.Copy !req
279. Word must've gotten out because all sorts
of guys were suddenly going to banquets.Copy !req
280. You give the key to one guy, you can't
say no to another. It all got out of hand.Copy !req
281. Baxter, an insurance company
is founded on public trust.Copy !req
282. Any employee who conducts himself
in a manner unbecoming...Copy !req
283. How many charter members
are there in this little club?Copy !req
284. Just those four. Out of a total of 31,259.Copy !req
285. So actually we can be very proud
of our personnel... percentagewise.Copy !req
286. That's not the point. Four rotten apples
in a barrel, however large the barrel...Copy !req
287. - Do you realize if this ever leaked out...
- It won't!Copy !req
288. Believe me. Never again. Nobody
is gonna use my apartment from now on.Copy !req
289. - Where is your apartment?
- West 67th Street.Copy !req
290. You have no idea what I go through with
the neighbors, the landlady and the key.Copy !req
291. How do you work it with the key?Copy !req
292. I slip it to 'em in the office and they leave
it under a mat. Never again. I promise.Copy !req
293. - Yes, Miss Olsen?
- Mrs. Sheldrake, returning your call. On 2.Copy !req
294. Yes, dear. Where were you?Copy !req
295. You had to take Tommy to the dentist?
No cavities? Good. Hold it, dear.Copy !req
296. - Where are you going, Baxter?
- I don't wanna intrude.Copy !req
297. - Since this is straightened out...
- I'm not through with you yet.Copy !req
298. I won't be home for dinner tonight.Copy !req
299. The branch manager from Kansas City
is in town. I'm taking him to the theater.Copy !req
300. "Music Man."
What else?Copy !req
301. No, don't wait up for me,
darling. Goodbye.Copy !req
302. Tell me, Baxter.
Have you seen "Music Man"?Copy !req
303. Not yet. I hear it's one swell show.Copy !req
304. How would you like to go tonight?Copy !req
305. You and me? I thought you were taking
the branch manager from Kansas City.Copy !req
306. No, I have other plans.
You can have both tickets.Copy !req
307. Well... that's very kind of you.Copy !req
308. But I'm not feeling well. I've got
this cold. I'm gonna go right home.Copy !req
309. Baxter, you're not reading me.
I told you I have plans.Copy !req
310. So do I. I'm gonna take
four aspirins, get into bed.Copy !req
311. So give the tickets to somebody else.Copy !req
312. Look, Baxter. I'm not just giving
these tickets. I wanna swap them.Copy !req
313. Swap 'em? For what?Copy !req
314. It also says here that you are
alert, astute and quite imaginative.Copy !req
315. Oh?Copy !req
316. Oh...Copy !req
317. That's good thinking, Baxter. There's
gonna be a shift in personnel next month.Copy !req
318. And as far as I'm concerned,
you are executive material.Copy !req
319. - I am?
- Now put down the key.Copy !req
320. And put down the address.Copy !req
321. It's on the second floor. There's no name
over the door. It just says apartment 2A.Copy !req
322. - It's that cold.
- Relax, Baxter.Copy !req
323. Yes, thank you, sir.Copy !req
324. You will be careful with
the record player? Shh.Copy !req
325. Oh, and about the liquor.Copy !req
326. I ordered some this morning.
I don't know when they'll deliver it.Copy !req
327. - This is going to be our little secret.
- Of course.Copy !req
328. - You know how people talk.
- Don't worry about that.Copy !req
329. - Not that I have anything to hide.
- No! Anyway, it's none of my business.Copy !req
330. Four apples, five apples.
What's the difference?Copy !req
331. Percentagewise.Copy !req
332. Here you are, Baxter. Have a nice time.Copy !req
333. You too, sir.Copy !req
334. So I figure, a man in his position,
he'll take me to El Morocco, maybe 21.Copy !req
335. Instead he takes me to Hamburger
Heaven and some schnook's apartment.Copy !req
336. - Good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
337. Oh! Miss Kubelik?Copy !req
338. I've been waiting for you.
I almost didn't recognize you.Copy !req
339. This is the first time
I've seen you in civilian clothes.Copy !req
340. - How'd it go on the 27th floor?
- Great.Copy !req
341. - Look, have you seen "The Music Man"?
- No.Copy !req
342. - Would you like to?
- Sure.Copy !req
343. We could get a bite to eat first,
and then go.Copy !req
344. - Oh, you mean tonight?
- Yeah.Copy !req
345. - I'm sorry, I can't. I'm meeting somebody.
- Oh.Copy !req
346. - You mean... like a girlfriend?
- No. Like a man.Copy !req
347. I wasn't trying to be personal. The fellas
in the office were wondering if you ever...Copy !req
348. You tell 'em now and then.Copy !req
349. This date, is it... just a date?
Or is it something serious?Copy !req
350. Well, it used to be serious.
At least, I was. But he wasn't.Copy !req
351. So now the whole thing's
more or less kaput.Copy !req
352. - In that case, couldn't you...
- I'm afraid not.Copy !req
353. I promised I'd have a drink with him.
He's been calling me all week.Copy !req
354. I understand.Copy !req
355. Well, it was just an idea. I hate
to see a theater ticket go to waste.Copy !req
356. - What time does the show go on?
- 8:30.Copy !req
357. Well, I could meet you at the theatre.Copy !req
358. That's wonderful!
It's the Majestic on 44th Street.Copy !req
359. I'll meet you in the lobby.Copy !req
360. You know, I felt so lousy
this morning. Had 101 fever.Copy !req
361. Now along comes my promotion
and us... 11th row center.Copy !req
362. And you said I should've stayed in bed.Copy !req
363. - How is your cold?
- What cold?Copy !req
364. After the show we could go out
on the town.Copy !req
365. - I've been taking from Arthur Murray.
- So I see.Copy !req
366. There's a great band
at El Chico, in the Village.Copy !req
367. - Around the corner from where you live.
- Sounds good.Copy !req
368. - How do you know where I live?
- Oh, I... even know who you live with.Copy !req
369. Your sister and brother-in-law.Copy !req
370. I know when you were born and where.
I know all sorts of things about you.Copy !req
371. How come?Copy !req
372. A couple of months ago I looked up
your card in the group insurance file.Copy !req
373. I know your height and your weight
and your social security number.Copy !req
374. You had mumps and measles
and you had your appendix out.Copy !req
375. Don't mention the appendix
to the fellas in the office.Copy !req
376. I wouldn't want 'em to get the wrong idea
about how you found out. Bye.Copy !req
377. 8:30!Copy !req
378. - Good evening, Mr. Sheldrake.
- Please, Fran. Not so loud.Copy !req
379. Still afraid someone
might see us together?Copy !req
380. - Let me take your coat.
- No, Jeff. I can't stay very long.Copy !req
381. - Can I have a frozen daiquiri?
- It's on the way.Copy !req
382. - I see you went ahead and cut your hair.
- That's right.Copy !req
383. - You know I liked it better long.
- I know.Copy !req
384. You want a lock to carry in your wallet?Copy !req
385. - Evening, lady. Nice to see you again.
- Thank you.Copy !req
386. How long has it been, Fran? A month?Copy !req
387. Six weeks. But who's counting?Copy !req
388. I missed you.Copy !req
389. Like old times.Copy !req
390. Same booth. Same song.Copy !req
391. - It's been hell.
- Same sauce. Sweet-and-sour.Copy !req
392. You don't know what it's like,
next to you in that elevator.Copy !req
393. "Good morning, Miss Kubelik."
"Good night, Mr. Sheldrake."Copy !req
394. I'm still crazy about you, Fran.Copy !req
395. Let's not start on that again, Jeff. Please?
I'm just beginning to get over it.Copy !req
396. I don't believe you.Copy !req
397. Look, Jeff. We had two
wonderful months this summer.Copy !req
398. But that was it. Happens all the time.Copy !req
399. Wife and kids go away to the country and
the boss has a fling with his secretary...Copy !req
400. or the manicurist, or the elevator girl.Copy !req
401. Come September,
the picnic's over. Goodbye.Copy !req
402. The kids go back to school,
the boss goes back to the wife...Copy !req
403. and the girl...Copy !req
404. They don't make these shrimp
like they used to.Copy !req
405. I never said goodbye, Fran.Copy !req
406. For a while there, you try kidding yourself
that you're going with an unmarried man.Copy !req
407. Then one day he keeps
looking at his watch...Copy !req
408. and asks you if any lipstick's showing...Copy !req
409. then rushes out to catch
the 7:14 to White Plains.Copy !req
410. So you fix yourself
a cup of instant coffee...Copy !req
411. and you sit there
by yourself and you think...Copy !req
412. and it all begins to look so... ugly.Copy !req
413. How do you think I felt
riding home on that 7:14 train?Copy !req
414. Why do you keep calling me, Jeff?
What do you want from me?Copy !req
415. I want you back, Fran.Copy !req
416. Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake. I'm full up.
You'll have to take the next elevator.Copy !req
417. You're not giving me a chance, Fran.
I have something to tell you.Copy !req
418. - Go ahead. Tell me.
- Not here. Can't we go someplace else?Copy !req
419. - No. I have a date at 8:30.
- Oh?Copy !req
420. - Important?
- Not very, but I'm gonna be there anyway.Copy !req
421. - You ready order dinner now?
- No. No dinner.Copy !req
422. Just bring us two more drinks, will you?Copy !req
423. Fran, do you remember
that last weekend we had?Copy !req
424. Do I! That leaky boat you rented, and me
in a black negligee and a life preserver.Copy !req
425. Do you remember what we talked about?Copy !req
426. - We talked about a lot of things.
- I mean about my getting a divorce.Copy !req
427. We didn't talk about it, Jeff. You did.Copy !req
428. You didn't believe me, did you?Copy !req
429. They got it on a long-playing record now.
"Music to String Her Along By."Copy !req
430. "My wife doesn't understand me. You're
the best thing that ever happened to me."Copy !req
431. - That's enough, Fran.
- "Trust me, baby. We'll work it out."Copy !req
432. - You're not being funny.
- I wasn't trying.Copy !req
433. - Fran, just listen to me for a minute.
- All right. I'm sorry.Copy !req
434. I saw my lawyer this morning. I wanted
his advice about the best way to handle it.Copy !req
435. - Handle what?
- What do you think?Copy !req
436. Let's get something straight, Jeff.
I never asked you to leave your wife.Copy !req
437. Of course not. You had
nothing to do with it.Copy !req
438. Are you sure that's what you want?Copy !req
439. I'm sure... if you'll just tell me
that you still love me.Copy !req
440. You know I do.Copy !req
441. Fran.Copy !req
442. Jeff, darling...Copy !req
443. It is getting crowded. Let's get out of here.Copy !req
444. Taxi!Copy !req
445. - Jeff, I have that date, remember?
- But I love you, remember?Copy !req
446. Where are we going?Copy !req
447. - Not back to that leaky boat?
- I promise.Copy !req
448. 51 West 67th.Copy !req
449. Congratulations.Copy !req
450. Would you mind? C.C. Baxter... that's me.Copy !req
451. Thank you.Copy !req
452. Hi, Buddy-boy.
Congratulations and all that jazz.Copy !req
453. - Hi, fellas.
- Well, you made it, just like we promised.Copy !req
454. Quite an office.
Name on the door, rug on the floor.Copy !req
455. that's what counts in this
organization. All for one and one for all.Copy !req
456. - Know what I mean?
- I have a vague idea.Copy !req
457. Baxter, we're a little disappointed
in you, gratitudewise.Copy !req
458. - Oh, I'm very grateful.
- Then why are you locking us out?Copy !req
459. Well, it's been sort of rough the past few
weeks, what with my cold and... like that.Copy !req
460. We went to bat for you.
Now you won't play ball with us.Copy !req
461. After all, it's my apartment. It's
private property, not a public playground.Copy !req
462. So you got yourself a girl. That's OK
with us. But not every night in the week!Copy !req
463. How selfish can you get?Copy !req
464. Last week I had to use my nephew's car
and take Sylvia to a drive-in in Jersey.Copy !req
465. I'm too old for that sort of thing...
I mean in a Volkswagen.Copy !req
466. I sympathize with you.
Believe me, I'm very sorry.Copy !req
467. - You'll be a lot sorrier.
- Are you threatening me?Copy !req
468. Listen, Baxter. We made you
and we can break you.Copy !req
469. - Good morning, Mr. Sheldrake.
- Good morning, gentlemen.Copy !req
470. - Baxter, do you like your office?
- Yes, sir. I wanna thank you very much.Copy !req
471. Don't thank me.
Your friends here recommended you.Copy !req
472. - We just dropped by to wish him luck.
- We know you won't let us down.Copy !req
473. So long, fellas. Drop in any time.
The door is always open... to my office.Copy !req
474. I like the way you handled that, Baxter.Copy !req
475. - How does it feel to be an executive?
- Oh, fine.Copy !req
476. - I'll work hard to justify your confidence.
- I'm sure you will.Copy !req
477. About the apartment. Now that you've got
a raise, can't we afford a second key?Copy !req
478. - I guess so.
- You know my secretary, Miss Olsen?Copy !req
479. - Oh, yeah. Is she the lucky girl that...?
- Oh, no, no.Copy !req
480. I just meant that she's kind of a busybody,
and passing that key back and forth...Copy !req
481. - Why take chances?
- You can't be too careful.Copy !req
482. Oh, I... have something
I think belongs to you.Copy !req
483. - Me?
- I mean the young lady, whoever she is.Copy !req
484. - I found it when I got back last night.
- Oh. Thanks.Copy !req
485. The mirror is broken.
It was broken when I found it.Copy !req
486. - Yeah. She threw it at me.
- Sir?Copy !req
487. You know how it is.
They always give you a bad time.Copy !req
488. Yeah, I know how it is.Copy !req
489. You see a girl every week for laughs and
they think you're gonna divorce your wife.Copy !req
490. - Now I ask you, is that fair?
- No, sir. It's very unfair.Copy !req
491. - Especially to your wife.
- Yeah.Copy !req
492. You know, Baxter, I envy you. A bachelor,
all the dames you want, no complications.Copy !req
493. That's the life all right.Copy !req
494. - Put me down for Thursday again.
- Roger.Copy !req
495. And I'll get that other key.Copy !req
496. - Merry Christmas. I'll connect you.
- Merry Christmas. Consolidated Life.Copy !req
497. Merry Christmas. I'm ringing.Copy !req
498. Yeah? Yeah?Copy !req
499. Where?Copy !req
500. You bet!Copy !req
501. Somebody watch my line. There's
a swingin' party on the 19th floor!Copy !req
502. So I said to him "Never again. Either you
get yourself a bigger car or a smaller girl."Copy !req
503. Miss Kubelik? Miss...Copy !req
504. - Merry Christmas.
- Thank you.Copy !req
505. - I thought you were avoiding me.
- What gave you that idea?Copy !req
506. In six weeks you've only been in my
elevator once, and you kept on your hat.Copy !req
507. As a matter of fact, I was rather hurt
that night you stood me up.Copy !req
508. I don't blame you. It was unforgivable.Copy !req
509. - I forgive you.
- You shouldn't.Copy !req
510. You couldn't help it. You can't
suddenly walk out on one man...Copy !req
511. because you have a date
with another man.Copy !req
512. - You did the decent thing.
- Don't be too sure.Copy !req
513. Just because I wear a uniform,
that doesn't make me a Girl Scout.Copy !req
514. A second administrative assistant has
to be a pretty good judge of character.Copy !req
515. And as far as I'm concerned, you're tops.Copy !req
516. I mean decencywise and... otherwisewise.Copy !req
517. Cheers.Copy !req
518. - One more.
- I shouldn't drink while driving.Copy !req
519. You're so right. By the power vested
in me, I declare this elevator out of order.Copy !req
520. Shall we join the natives?Copy !req
521. - Why not? They seem friendly enough.
- Don't you believe it.Copy !req
522. There'll be human sacrifices. White-collar
workers tossed into computers...Copy !req
523. and punched full of little square holes.Copy !req
524. - How many drinks did you have?
- Three!Copy !req
525. - I thought so.
- Wait. I hear the sound of running water.Copy !req
526. - I'll be right back!
- I'll be right here.Copy !req
527. Hi!Copy !req
528. How's the branch manager
from Kansas City?Copy !req
529. - I beg your pardon?
- I'm Miss Olsen.Copy !req
530. Mr. Sheldrake's secretary.Copy !req
531. So you don't have to
play innocent with me.Copy !req
532. He used to tell his wife
I was the branch manager from Seattle...Copy !req
533. four years ago when we were having
a little ring-a-ding-ding.Copy !req
534. - I don't know what you're talking about.
- Before me it was Miss Rossi in Auditing.Copy !req
535. And after me it was
Miss Koch in Disability.Copy !req
536. And right before you was a Miss, um...Copy !req
537. Oh, what's her name? On the 25th floor.Copy !req
538. - Would you excuse me?
- What for? You haven't done anything.Copy !req
539. It's him. Oh, what a salesman!Copy !req
540. Always the last booth
in the Chinese restaurant...Copy !req
541. and the same pitch
about divorcing his wife.Copy !req
542. Then, in the end, you wind up
with egg foo Yung on your face.Copy !req
543. Miss Kubelik!Copy !req
544. Well, thank you, Miss Olsen.Copy !req
545. Always happy to do a little something
for our girls in uniform.Copy !req
546. Are you all right? What's the matter?Copy !req
547. Nothing. There are just
too many people here.Copy !req
548. Why don't we step into my office? There's
something I want your opinion about.Copy !req
549. I have my own office now. I'm the second
youngest executive in this company.Copy !req
550. The only one younger is a grandson
of the chairman of the board.Copy !req
551. Do you mind?Copy !req
552. Miss Kubelik, I would like
your honest opinion.Copy !req
553. I've had this under my desk
for a week. It cost me $15.Copy !req
554. I haven't been able
to get up enough nerve to wear it.Copy !req
555. It's what they call the Junior Executive
model. What do you think?Copy !req
556. I guess I made a boo-boo, huh?Copy !req
557. - I like it.
- Really?Copy !req
558. You wouldn't be ashamed to be seen
with somebody in this hat?Copy !req
559. - Of course not.
- Maybe if I wore it a little to one side.Copy !req
560. - Is that better?
- Much better.Copy !req
561. Since you wouldn't be
ashamed to be seen with me...Copy !req
562. how about goin' out tonight...
you, me and the bowler?Copy !req
563. We'll stroll down 5th Avenue,
sort of break it in.Copy !req
564. - This is a bad day for me.
- I understand. Christmas and family.Copy !req
565. I'd better get back to my elevator
or I'll be fired.Copy !req
566. Don't worry about that. I've got
quite a bit of influence with Personnel.Copy !req
567. You know Mr. Sheldrake?Copy !req
568. - Why?
- He and I are like that.Copy !req
569. Sent me a Christmas card. See?Copy !req
570. Makes a cute picture.Copy !req
571. I could talk to Mr. Sheldrake.
Get you a promotion.Copy !req
572. - Would you like to be an elevator starter?
- Too many girls have seniority over me.Copy !req
573. No problem. Why don't we
discuss it over the holidays?Copy !req
574. I could call you, pick you up, have
a big unveiling. Am I wearing this right?Copy !req
575. I think so. Here.Copy !req
576. It's not tilted too much?
This is a conservative firm.Copy !req
577. I don't want people
to think I'm an entertainer.Copy !req
578. What's the matter?Copy !req
579. - The mirror. It's broken.
- Yes, I know.Copy !req
580. I like it that way.
Makes me look the way I feel.Copy !req
581. Your phone.Copy !req
582. Yes?Copy !req
583. Uh, just a minute.Copy !req
584. - If you don't mind, this is sort of personal.
- Have a nice Christmas.Copy !req
585. Yes, Mr. Sheldrake.Copy !req
586. No, I didn't forget. The tree is up and the
Tom and Jerry mix is in the refrigerator.Copy !req
587. Yes, sir. Same to you.Copy !req
588. Hey! Where are you goin', Buddy-boy?Copy !req
589. The party's just starting.Copy !req
590. Listen, kid. Gimme a break.
How about tomorrow afternoon?Copy !req
591. I can't take her to that drive-in again.
The car has no heater. Four o'clock. OK?Copy !req
592. Hey, Charlie! Gimme a shot of bourbon,
and step on it! My sleigh is double-parked!Copy !req
593. You buy me a drink,
I'll buy you some music.Copy !req
594. Rum Collins.Copy !req
595. Uh...Copy !req
596. Rum Collins and...
another one of these little mothers.Copy !req
597. You like Castro?Copy !req
598. I mean, how do you feel about Castro?Copy !req
599. - What is Castro?
- You know. That big shot down in Cuba.Copy !req
600. - With the crazy beard.
- What about him?Copy !req
601. Cause as far as I'm concerned,
he's a no-good fink.Copy !req
602. Two weeks ago I wrote him a letter.
Never even answered me.Copy !req
603. That so?Copy !req
604. All I wanted him to do was
let Mickey out for Christmas.Copy !req
605. - Who's Mickey?
- My husband.Copy !req
606. He's in Havana, in jail.Copy !req
607. - Mixed up in that revolution?
- Mickey would do nothin' like that.Copy !req
608. He's a jockey.
They caught him dopin' a horse.Copy !req
609. Well, you can't win 'em all.Copy !req
610. 'Twas the night before Christmas,
and all through the houseCopy !req
611. Not a creature was stirrin'...Copy !req
612. Nothin'. No action.Copy !req
613. Dullsville.Copy !req
614. - You married?
- No.Copy !req
615. - Family?
- No.Copy !req
616. A night like this, it sort of spooks you
to walk into an empty apartment.Copy !req
617. I said I had no family. I didn't say
I had an empty apartment.Copy !req
618. Come on, Fran. Don't be that way.Copy !req
619. Are you just gonna
sit there and keep bawling?Copy !req
620. You won't talk to me?
You won't tell me what's wrong?Copy !req
621. I know you think I'm stalling you but...
when you've been married for 12 years...Copy !req
622. you just don't sit down to breakfast and
say "Pass the sugar. I want a divorce."Copy !req
623. It's not that easy.Copy !req
624. Anyway, this is the wrong time. The kids
are off school, my in-laws are visiting.Copy !req
625. I can't bring it up now.Copy !req
626. This isn't like you, Fran. You were always
such a good sport. Such fun to be with.Copy !req
627. That's me. The happy idiot.
A million laughs.Copy !req
628. Well, that's a little more like it.
At least you're speaking to me.Copy !req
629. A funny thing happened to me
at the office party today.Copy !req
630. I ran into your secretary, Miss Olsen.Copy !req
631. You know. Ring-a-ding-ding?Copy !req
632. And I laughed so much, I like to died.Copy !req
633. Is that what's been bothering you, Fran?
Miss Olsen? That's ancient history.Copy !req
634. Well, I never was very good at history.Copy !req
635. Let me see. There was Miss Olsen,
and then there was Miss Rossi.Copy !req
636. No, she came before.
Miss Koch came after Miss Olsen.Copy !req
637. - Now, Fran...
- And just think.Copy !req
638. Right now some lucky girl in the building
is gonna come after me.Copy !req
639. OK. OK, Fran. I guess I deserved that.Copy !req
640. But ask yourself: why does a man
run around with a lot of girls?Copy !req
641. Because he's unhappy at home.
Because he's lonely. That's why.Copy !req
642. But that was before you, Fran.
I've stopped running.Copy !req
643. How could I be so stupid?
You'd think I would've learned by now.Copy !req
644. When you're in love with a married man,
you shouldn't wear mascara.Copy !req
645. It's Christmas Eve, Fran.
Let's not fight, huh?Copy !req
646. - Merry Christmas.
- What is it?Copy !req
647. Oh. Our friend at the Chinese restaurant.Copy !req
648. - Thanks, Fran. We'd better keep it here.
- Yeah, we'd better.Copy !req
649. Oh, I have a present for you.Copy !req
650. I didn't know what to get you. Besides,
it's kind of awkward for me shopping, so...Copy !req
651. Here's $100. You go
and buy yourself something.Copy !req
652. They have some nice
alligator bags at Bergdorf's.Copy !req
653. I didn't realize it was so late. It's quarter
to seven. I mustn't miss my train.Copy !req
654. If we hadn't wasted all this time...
I have to get home and trim the tree.Copy !req
655. OK. I just thought,
as long as it was paid for...Copy !req
656. Don't ever talk like that, Fran.Copy !req
657. - Don't make yourself out to be cheap.
- $100? I don't call that cheap.Copy !req
658. And you must be paying somebody
something for the use of the apartment.Copy !req
659. Stop it, Fran.Copy !req
660. You'll miss your train, Jeff.Copy !req
661. Are you coming?Copy !req
662. No, you run along. I'm gonna fix my face.Copy !req
663. Don't forget to kill the lights.
See you Monday.Copy !req
664. Sure. Monday... and Thursday...Copy !req
665. and Monday again, and Thursday again.Copy !req
666. It won't always be like this, Fran.Copy !req
667. I love you.Copy !req
668. Careful. Lipstick.Copy !req
669. Merry Christmas.Copy !req
670. - Drink up, pop. It's closing time.
- But it's early, Charlie.Copy !req
671. - Don't you know what night this is?
- I know, Charlie. I know.Copy !req
672. I work for the outfit.Copy !req
673. Hey, knock it off, will ya? Go home.Copy !req
674. O-U-T. Out!Copy !req
675. Where'll we go? My place or yours?Copy !req
676. Might as well go to mine.
Everybody else does.Copy !req
677. Poor Mickey. When I think of him
all by himself in that jail in Havana...Copy !req
678. Would you like to see his picture?Copy !req
679. Not particularly.Copy !req
680. He's so cute. He's 5 foot 2, 99 pounds.Copy !req
681. Like a little Chihuahua.Copy !req
682. - Can I ask you a personal question?
- No.Copy !req
683. You got a girlfriend?Copy !req
684. She may be a girl
but she is no friend of mine.Copy !req
685. - Still stuck on her, huh?
- Obviously you don't know me very well.Copy !req
686. - I don't know you at all.
- Permit me.Copy !req
687. C.C. Baxter. Junior executive,
Arthur Murray graduate... lover.Copy !req
688. I'm Mrs. MacDougall. Margie to you.Copy !req
689. This way, Mrs. MacDougall.Copy !req
690. Say! This is snugsville!Copy !req
691. Mrs. MacDougall,
it's only fair to warn you...Copy !req
692. you are now alone
with a notorious sexpot.Copy !req
693. - No kiddin'!
- Ask anybody around here.Copy !req
694. As a matter of fact, when it's time for me
to go... and I may go just like that...Copy !req
695. I have promised my body
to the Columbia Medical Center.Copy !req
696. Gee! Sort of gives you goose bumps
just to think about it.Copy !req
697. They haven't got me yet, baby.
Dig up some ice from the kitchen.Copy !req
698. Let's not waste any more time
preliminarywise.Copy !req
699. I'm with you, lover.Copy !req
700. All right, Miss Kubelik. Get up.Copy !req
701. Come on. It's past checking-out time.Copy !req
702. The management would appreciate it
if you'd get the hell outta here.Copy !req
703. I used to like you. I used to like you a lot.
Well, it's all over between us, so beat it.Copy !req
704. O-U-T, out!Copy !req
705. Come on, wake up.Copy !req
706. Oh my God.Copy !req
707. Miss Kubelik?Copy !req
708. Miss Kubelik?Copy !req
709. I broke a nail tryin' to get the tray out.Copy !req
710. You oughta buy yourself
a new refrigerator.Copy !req
711. I didn't mean right now!Copy !req
712. Dr. Dreyfuss.Copy !req
713. Doc!Copy !req
714. There's a girl in my place, took
some sleeping pills. I can't wake her up.Copy !req
715. - Let me get my bag.
- Hurry up!Copy !req
716. Hey, over here, lover.
What's all the running around about?Copy !req
717. You're gonna wear yourself out.Copy !req
718. - Not so rough, honey!
- Good night.Copy !req
719. - Good night?
- The party's over.Copy !req
720. What? Did I do somethin' wrong?Copy !req
721. It's an emergency.
I'll see you some other time.Copy !req
722. Not this one. In there, Doc.Copy !req
723. - What's goin' on here, anyway?
- Will you please just get out?Copy !req
724. My shoes!Copy !req
725. Some lover you are! Some sexpot!Copy !req
726. Here. Find a phone.
Call your husband in Havana.Copy !req
727. You bet I will! And when I tell him how
you treated me, he'll push your face in!Copy !req
728. You fink!Copy !req
729. Is she gonna be all right, Doc?Copy !req
730. - How many pills were in that bottle?
- It was half-full. About a dozen.Copy !req
731. - Do you have to take her to the hospital?
- Help me, will you?Copy !req
732. - Into the bathroom.
- What are you gonna do?Copy !req
733. Get that stuff out of her stomach
if it isn't too late.Copy !req
734. You'd better put some coffee on,
and pray.Copy !req
735. Bring my bag.Copy !req
736. Roll up her right sleeve.Copy !req
737. Hold that.Copy !req
738. Nice veins.Copy !req
739. Wanna tell me what happened?Copy !req
740. I don't know. I mean, I wasn't even here.Copy !req
741. You see, we had... some words earlier.Copy !req
742. It was nothin' serious.
You might call it a lovers' quarrel.Copy !req
743. So you went right out
and picked yourself up another dame.Copy !req
744. - Something like that.
- You know, Baxter, you're a real cutie pie.Copy !req
745. Yes, you are.Copy !req
746. If you'd come home half an hour later,
you'd have had quite a Christmas present.Copy !req
747. Get the coffee.Copy !req
748. Let's get some air in here.
Open the windows.Copy !req
749. What's her name?Copy !req
750. Miss Kubelik. Fran.Copy !req
751. Fran, I'm a doctor. I'm here because
you took too many sleeping pills.Copy !req
752. Do you understand what I'm saying?Copy !req
753. Fran, I'm Dr. Dreyfuss.
I'm here to help you.Copy !req
754. You took all those sleeping pills.
Remember?Copy !req
755. - Sleeping pills.
- That's right, Fran. And I'm a doctor.Copy !req
756. - Doctor?
- Dr. Dreyfuss.Copy !req
757. Dreyfuss.Copy !req
758. Get more coffee.Copy !req
759. Now tell me again. What's my name?Copy !req
760. Dr... Dreyfuss.Copy !req
761. And what happened to you?Copy !req
762. I...Copy !req
763. I took sleeping pills.Copy !req
764. Do you know where you are?Copy !req
765. - No.
- Yes, you do, Fran. Now concentrate!Copy !req
766. I don't know.Copy !req
767. Do you know who that is?Copy !req
768. Look at him.Copy !req
769. Mr. Baxter. 19th floor.Copy !req
770. Hello, Miss Kubelik.Copy !req
771. Mr? Miss? Such politeness!Copy !req
772. We work in the same building.
We try to keep it quiet.Copy !req
773. What are you doing here?Copy !req
774. Don't you remember
we were together at the office party?Copy !req
775. Oh, yes. The office party.Copy !req
776. - Miss Olsen.
- That's right.Copy !req
777. I told you we had a fight.
That was what it was about.Copy !req
778. Miss Olsen. That girl
that was here earlier.Copy !req
779. I don't understand.Copy !req
780. The main thing is I got here in time and
you're gonna be all right. Isn't she, Doc?Copy !req
781. I'm so tired.Copy !req
782. Come on. Drink this.Copy !req
783. Please... just let me sleep.Copy !req
784. No, you can't sleep! Fran, open your eyes!Copy !req
785. Let's get her walking.Copy !req
786. We've got to keep her awake for the next
few hours. Now come on, Fran, walk!Copy !req
787. One, two, three, four!Copy !req
788. One, two, three, four!Copy !req
789. Left, right, left, right...Copy !req
790. left, right and return!Copy !req
791. And... one, two, three, four!Copy !req
792. Now you've got it! One, two, three, four!Copy !req
793. Walk, Fran! One, two, three, four!Copy !req
794. One, two... And return again.Copy !req
795. And... left, right, left, right.Copy !req
796. She'll sleep on and off
for the next 24 hours.Copy !req
797. Of course, she'll have
a dandy hangover when she wakes up.Copy !req
798. Just as long as she's OK.Copy !req
799. These cases are harder on the doctor than
the patient. I oughta charge by the mile.Copy !req
800. - Any of that coffee left?
- Yeah, sure.Copy !req
801. How do you spell her last name?Copy !req
802. Kubelik. Two k's.Copy !req
803. What's her address?Copy !req
804. Where does she live?Copy !req
805. Why do you wanna know, Doc?Copy !req
806. - You don't have to report this, do you?
- It's regulations.Copy !req
807. But it was an accident. She had too much
to drink, didn't know what she was doing.Copy !req
808. There was no suicide note or anything.Copy !req
809. - I'm not thinkin' about myself.
- Aren't you?Copy !req
810. She's got a family,
and there's the people at the office.Copy !req
811. Can't you forget you're a doctor,
just say you're here as a neighbor?Copy !req
812. Well, as a doctor, I can't prove
it wasn't an accident.Copy !req
813. But as your neighbor,
I'd like to kick you around the block.Copy !req
814. - Mind if I cool this off?
- Help yourself.Copy !req
815. I don't know what you did to that girl...Copy !req
816. but it was bound to happen,
the way you carry on.Copy !req
817. Live now, pay later. Diners Club!Copy !req
818. Why don't you grow up, Baxter?
Be a mensch.Copy !req
819. - You know what that means?
- I'm not sure.Copy !req
820. A mensch! A human being!Copy !req
821. So you got off easy this time.
So you were lucky.Copy !req
822. But you're not out of the woods yet,
because most of 'em try it again.Copy !req
823. Well, you know where I am
if you need me.Copy !req
824. Mr. Baxter! Open up already.Copy !req
825. Oh.Copy !req
826. - Mrs. Lieberman.
- Who did you think it was? Kriss Kringle?Copy !req
827. What was going on here last night?Copy !req
828. - Last night?
- All that marching! Tramp, tramp, tramp!Copy !req
829. - Army maneuvers maybe?
- I'll never invite those people again.Copy !req
830. What you get from renting to bachelors.
All night I didn't sleep ten minutes.Copy !req
831. - And I'm sure you woke up Dr. Dreyfuss.
- Don't worry. He was out on a case.Copy !req
832. I'm warning you, Mr. Baxter. This is
a respectable house, not a honky-tonky.Copy !req
833. Come on, Oscar.Copy !req
834. Operator, I want White Plains,
New York. Mr. J.D. Sheldrake.Copy !req
835. Make that person-to-person.Copy !req
836. Five, four, three, two, one...Copy !req
837. Let her rip!Copy !req
838. I'll get the phone.Copy !req
839. Hey, Dad, why don't we
put a fly in the nose cone?Copy !req
840. - See if we can bring it back alive.
- That's a thought.Copy !req
841. Maybe we should put in two flies
and see if they'll propagate in orbit.Copy !req
842. - See if they'll what?
- Propagate. You know. Multiply.Copy !req
843. - Baby flies?
- Oh. Oh!Copy !req
844. - It's for you, Dad.
- Thanks, Jeff.Copy !req
845. A Mr. Baxter. Person-to-person.Copy !req
846. Come on. Help me round up some flies.Copy !req
847. - Hello? What's on your mind, Baxter?
- Something came up that's important.Copy !req
848. I think you should see me
at the apartment as soon as possible.Copy !req
849. - What's this all about?
- I didn't wanna tell you over the phone.Copy !req
850. But that certain party... You know
who I mean. I found her here last night.Copy !req
851. - She took an overdose of sleeping pills.
- What?Copy !req
852. - What is it, Jeff? Who's on the phone?
- One of our employees had an accident.Copy !req
853. I don't know why they bother me
with these things on Christmas Day.Copy !req
854. Yes, Baxter.Copy !req
855. Just how serious is it?Copy !req
856. It was touch and go there for a while,
but she's sleeping it off now.Copy !req
857. I thought maybe you'd like to
be here when she wakes up.Copy !req
858. That's impossible. You'll have to
handle the situation yourself, Baxter.Copy !req
859. - As a matter of fact, I'm counting on you.
- Yes, sir. I understand.Copy !req
860. She left a letter. Would you like me
to open it and read it to you?Copy !req
861. Well, it was just a suggestion.Copy !req
862. No, don't worry. I kept your name
out of it, so there'll be no trouble...Copy !req
863. policewise or newspaperwise.Copy !req
864. You see, the doctor is a friend of mine,
so we were very lucky in that respect.Copy !req
865. Actually, he thinks she's my girl.Copy !req
866. No, he just jumped to the conclusion.Copy !req
867. Around here I'm known as
quite a ladies' man.Copy !req
868. Of course, we're not out of the woods yet.
Sometimes they try it again.Copy !req
869. Yes, sir. I'll do my best. It'll take her
a couple of days to fully recover...Copy !req
870. and I may have a little problem
with the landlady.Copy !req
871. OK, Mr. Sheldrake. I'll keep her
in the apartment as long as I can.Copy !req
872. Isn't there some sort of message
you want me to give her?Copy !req
873. Well, I'll... think of something.Copy !req
874. Yes, sir. Goodbye, Mr. Sheldrake.Copy !req
875. I'm sorry.Copy !req
876. - I'm sorry, Mr. Baxter.
- What are you doing out of bed?Copy !req
877. I didn't know. I had no idea
this was your apartment.Copy !req
878. Here. Let me help you.Copy !req
879. Oh, I'm so ashamed.Copy !req
880. Why didn't you just let me die?Copy !req
881. What kind of talk is that? You got
a little overemotional, but you're fine now.Copy !req
882. Oh!Copy !req
883. Oh, my head! It feels just like
a big wad of chewing gum.Copy !req
884. - What time is it?
- Two o'clock.Copy !req
885. Oh, my dress. I have to go home.Copy !req
886. You're in no shape
to go anywhere but back to bed.Copy !req
887. - You don't want me here.
- Sure I do. I...Copy !req
888. It's always nice
to have company for Christmas.Copy !req
889. - I'm stronger than you are.
- I just wanna brush my teeth.Copy !req
890. Oh. Of course. I think I can find
a new toothbrush somewhere.Copy !req
891. Here. Put that on.Copy !req
892. - How about some breakfast?
- No. I don't want anything.Copy !req
893. I'll fix you some coffee.Copy !req
894. Oh! We're all out of coffee.
You had quite a lot last night.Copy !req
895. Back in a minute.Copy !req
896. Mrs. Dreyfuss,
could I borrow some coffee?Copy !req
897. - And an orange and a couple of eggs?
- Eggs, he asks me for! Oranges!Copy !req
898. What you need is a good horsewhipping!
From me the doctor has no secrets.Copy !req
899. Poor girl. How could you do such a thing?Copy !req
900. I didn't do anything. Honest. It's just...Copy !req
901. You take a girl out just for laughs and
she thinks you're serious marriagewise.Copy !req
902. Big shot! For you, I wouldn't lift a finger!Copy !req
903. But for her, I'll fix a little something to eat.Copy !req
904. Who are you calling?Copy !req
905. My sister, to tell her
what happened to me.Copy !req
906. Wait a minute! Let's talk it over first.
Just what are you gonna tell her?Copy !req
907. - I haven't figured it out exactly.
- Well, you'd better figure it out exactly.Copy !req
908. Suppose she asks you why
you didn't come home last night.Copy !req
909. I'll say I spent the night with a friend.Copy !req
910. - Who?
- Someone from the office.Copy !req
911. - Where are you now?
- In his apartment.Copy !req
912. - In his apartment?
- In her apartment.Copy !req
913. - What's your friend's name?
- Baxter.Copy !req
914. - What's her first name?
- Miss.Copy !req
915. - When are you comin' home?
- As soon as I can walk.Copy !req
916. - Your legs hurt?
- No, my stomach.Copy !req
917. - Your stomach?
- They had to pump it out!Copy !req
918. You shouldn't call anybody. Not till you
get the chewing gum out of your head.Copy !req
919. They'll be worried about me.
They might call the police.Copy !req
920. We have to be careful.
We don't wanna involve anybody.Copy !req
921. After all, Mr. Sheldrake's a married man.Copy !req
922. Thanks for reminding me!Copy !req
923. I didn't mean it that way.Copy !req
924. I was just talking to him on the phone.
He's very concerned about you.Copy !req
925. He doesn't give a damn about me.Copy !req
926. - You're wrong. He told me...
- He's a liar.Copy !req
927. But that's not the worst part.Copy !req
928. The worst part is I still love him.Copy !req
929. Oh. That must be Mrs. Dreyfuss.Copy !req
930. Remember the doctor from last night?
That's his wife.Copy !req
931. So where's the victim?Copy !req
932. Max the Knife!Copy !req
933. - Nu, little lady, how are we feeling today?
- I don't know. Kind of dizzy.Copy !req
934. The best thing for dizzy is noodle soup
with chicken white meat and a glass tea.Copy !req
935. - No, thank you. I'm really not hungry.
- Go ahead, eat. Enjoy.Copy !req
936. You wouldn't have such a thing
as a napkin, would you?Copy !req
937. - I have some paper towels.
- Beatnik.Copy !req
938. In my kitchen, third drawer,
under the good silver, are napkins.Copy !req
939. Yes, Mrs. Dreyfuss.Copy !req
940. So, what are you waiting for?
A singing commercial?Copy !req
941. - I can't eat.
- You must eat.Copy !req
942. And you must get healthy
and you must forget him.Copy !req
943. Such a fine boy he seemed
when he first moved in here.Copy !req
944. Clean and cut, a regular Ivy Leaguer.Copy !req
945. Turns out he's King Farouk,
with the drinking, with the cha-cha.Copy !req
946. With the no napkins.Copy !req
947. A girl like you, for the rest of your life
you wanna cry in your noodle soup?Copy !req
948. Who needs it? Now you listen to me.Copy !req
949. You'll find yourself a nice,
substantial man... a widower, maybe...Copy !req
950. and settle down, instead of
noshing all those sleeping pills.Copy !req
951. For what? For whom?
For some good-time Charlie?Copy !req
952. Shh.Copy !req
953. One napkin comin' up. Wish we had
some champagne to wrap it around.Copy !req
954. - What did I tell you?
- Mrs. Dreyfuss, you don't have to wait.Copy !req
955. - I'll wash the dishes.
- You'd break 'em. I'll come back for them.Copy !req
956. If he makes trouble, give me a yell.Copy !req
957. - She doesn't seem to like you very much.
- Oh, I don't mind.Copy !req
958. As a matter of fact, I'm sort of flattered.Copy !req
959. That anybody'd think a girl like you would
do a thing like this over a guy like me.Copy !req
960. Did you find something here?
An envelope?Copy !req
961. Yes. I've got it.Copy !req
962. Don't you think we'd better destroy it
so it won't fall in the wrong hands?Copy !req
963. Open it.Copy !req
964. There's nothing here but a $100 bill.Copy !req
965. That's right. Will you see
that Mr. Sheldrake gets it?Copy !req
966. Sure.Copy !req
967. Take this away, will you?Copy !req
968. Would you like me to move
the television set in here?Copy !req
969. - You play gin rummy?
- I'm not very good at it.Copy !req
970. - I am. Let me get the cards.
- You don't have to entertain me.Copy !req
971. There's nothing I'd like better.
You know. Togetherness.Copy !req
972. Guess what I did last Christmas. Had
dinner at the automat, went to the zoo...Copy !req
973. then came home and cleaned up
after Mr. Eichelberger.Copy !req
974. He had a little eggnog party here.Copy !req
975. So I'm way ahead this year.Copy !req
976. Three across. Spades double?Copy !req
977. High deals.Copy !req
978. Six? Eight.Copy !req
979. I think I'm gonna give it all up.Copy !req
980. Give what up?Copy !req
981. Why do people have to
love people, anyway?Copy !req
982. I know what you mean.Copy !req
983. Queen.Copy !req
984. - I don't want it.
- Pick a card.Copy !req
985. What do you call it when somebody keeps
gettin' smashed up in car accidents?Copy !req
986. - Bad insurance risk?
- That's me with men.Copy !req
987. I was jinxed from the word go. First time
I was ever kissed was in a cemetery.Copy !req
988. A cemetery?Copy !req
989. I was 15. We used to go there to smoke.Copy !req
990. His name was George and
he threw me over for a drum majorette.Copy !req
991. Uh, gin.Copy !req
992. That's 10, 20... 36.
And 25 makes 61 and two boxes.Copy !req
993. I have this talent for falling in love...Copy !req
994. with the wrong guy
in the wrong place at the wrong time.Copy !req
995. Well, how many guys were there?Copy !req
996. Three.Copy !req
997. The last one was the manager of a finance
company back home in Pittsburgh.Copy !req
998. They found a shortage in his accounts.Copy !req
999. He asked me to wait for him.
He'll be out in 1965.Copy !req
1000. Cut.Copy !req
1001. So I came to New York and moved in with
my sister and her husband, a cab driver.Copy !req
1002. They sent me to secretarial school and
then I applied for a job at Consolidated.Copy !req
1003. But I flunked the typing test.Copy !req
1004. - Too slow?
- No. I can type up a storm.Copy !req
1005. I just can't spell.Copy !req
1006. So they gave me a pair of white gloves
and stuck me in an elevator.Copy !req
1007. And that's how I met Jeff.Copy !req
1008. Oh God, I'm so fouled up.Copy !req
1009. What am I gonna do now?Copy !req
1010. Better win a hand. You're on a blitz.Copy !req
1011. Was he very upset when you told him?Copy !req
1012. Mr. Sheldrake? Yeah, very.Copy !req
1013. Maybe he does love me, only he doesn't
have the nerve to tell his wife.Copy !req
1014. I'm sure that's it.Copy !req
1015. - You really think so?
- No doubt about it.Copy !req
1016. Would you hand me that pad and pencil?Copy !req
1017. - What for?
- I'm gonna write to Mrs. Sheldrake.Copy !req
1018. - You what?
- As one woman to another.Copy !req
1019. - I'm sure she'll understand.
- I don't think that's a very good idea.Copy !req
1020. - Why not?
- For one thing, you can't spell.Copy !req
1021. Secondly, if you did something
like that, you'd hate yourself.Copy !req
1022. I don't like myself very much anyway.Copy !req
1023. Pick up the cards. Let's go.Copy !req
1024. - Do I have to?
- You bet. I got a terrific hand.Copy !req
1025. - You really wanna discard that?
- Sure.Copy !req
1026. Gin.Copy !req
1027. 10, 20, 40, 52 and 25... 77.Copy !req
1028. Spades are double... 154.Copy !req
1029. Blitzed. Two games.Copy !req
1030. All right, all right, Mrs. Dreyfuss.Copy !req
1031. - Hi, Baxter.
- What do you want?Copy !req
1032. What do I want? Just a minute.Copy !req
1033. - You can't come in!
- What's the matter with you?Copy !req
1034. I made a reservation for four o'clock.Copy !req
1035. You can't stay.
Take your champagne and go.Copy !req
1036. I don't wanna pull rank on you,
but I told the little lady it was all set.Copy !req
1037. Are you gonna leave, Mr. Kirkeby,
or do I have to throw you out?Copy !req
1038. Buddy-boy,
why didn't you say so?Copy !req
1039. - Got yourself a little playmate, huh?
- Now will you get out?Copy !req
1040. Hey, come on! What are we waiting for?
Open up, will you?Copy !req
1041. Mildred!Copy !req
1042. - What's holding things up?
- Say, let's have a party, the four of us.Copy !req
1043. No!Copy !req
1044. Well, I don't blame you.Copy !req
1045. So you hit the jackpot, eh, kid?
I mean Kubelikwise.Copy !req
1046. Don't worry.
I won't say a word to anybody.Copy !req
1047. Stay with it, Buddy-boy.Copy !req
1048. Who was that?Copy !req
1049. Just somebody delivering
a bottle of champagne. Like some?Copy !req
1050. Would you mind opening that window?Copy !req
1051. - Now don't get any ideas, Miss Kubelik.
- I just want some fresh air.Copy !req
1052. It's only one storey down.
The best you could do is break a leg.Copy !req
1053. So they'll shoot me, like a horse.Copy !req
1054. Please, you gotta promise me
you won't do anything foolish.Copy !req
1055. - Who'd care?
- I would.Copy !req
1056. Why can't I ever fall in love
with somebody nice like you?Copy !req
1057. Yeah. Well...Copy !req
1058. That's the way it crumbles, cookiewise.Copy !req
1059. Go to sleep.Copy !req
1060. - Good morning, Mr. Sheldrake.
- Miss Olsen, come into my office, please.Copy !req
1061. - Did you have a nice Christmas?
- Lovely. You were a great help!Copy !req
1062. Your pep talk to Miss Kubelik
at the office party.Copy !req
1063. - Sorry, Jeff. I never could hold my liquor.
- I thought you could hold your tongue.Copy !req
1064. - It won't happen again.
- You bet it won't.Copy !req
1065. I'll arrange for you to get
a month's severance pay.Copy !req
1066. That's right, Miss Olsen.
I'm letting you go.Copy !req
1067. You let me go four years ago, Jeff.Copy !req
1068. And were cruel enough to make me sit out
there and watch the new models pass by.Copy !req
1069. I'd appreciate it if you'd be
out of here as soon as you can.Copy !req
1070. Yes, Mr. Sheldrake.Copy !req
1071. Operator, this is Mr. Sheldrake. I'd like
Mr. Baxter's home telephone number.Copy !req
1072. He's in Ordinary Premium Accounting.Copy !req
1073. - Hello?
- Hello. Jeff Sheldrake. Can you talk?Copy !req
1074. Yes. She's in the shower.Copy !req
1075. - She's coming along fine, considering.
- Good.Copy !req
1076. - Is there anything you need? Money?
- No, thank you, Mr. Sheldrake.Copy !req
1077. As a matter of fact, I have
some money for you. $100.Copy !req
1078. Oh.Copy !req
1079. - If there's anything I can do for you...
- For me? I don't think so.Copy !req
1080. But I was hoping maybe
you could do something for her.Copy !req
1081. Like what? Put yourself
in my place, Baxter.Copy !req
1082. How can I help her? My hands are tied.Copy !req
1083. Well... at least you can talk to her.Copy !req
1084. Let me put her on. And please, be gentle.Copy !req
1085. There's a call for you!Copy !req
1086. - For me?
- Yeah. Mr. Sheldrake.Copy !req
1087. I don't wanna talk to him.Copy !req
1088. I think you should.Copy !req
1089. I gotta run down to the grocery anyway.
There's nothing left here but frozen pizza.Copy !req
1090. I'll be right back. OK?Copy !req
1091. Hello, Jeff.Copy !req
1092. - Yes, I'm all right.
- Why did you do it, Fran?Copy !req
1093. It's so childish,
and it never solves anything.Copy !req
1094. I oughta be very angry with you,
scaring me that way.Copy !req
1095. But let's forget the whole thing, pretend
it never happened. What do you say?Copy !req
1096. Fran?Copy !req
1097. Are you there, Fran?Copy !req
1098. Of course I'm not here, because
the whole thing never happened.Copy !req
1099. I never took those pills,
I never loved you...Copy !req
1100. we never even met.Copy !req
1101. - Isn't that the way you want it, Jeff?
- You know I didn't mean it that way.Copy !req
1102. You just get well.
Do what the nurse says. I mean Baxter.Copy !req
1103. I'll see you as soon as I can.
Goodbye, Fran.Copy !req
1104. Hello, Mrs. Sheldrake. This is Miss Olsen.Copy !req
1105. Fine, thank you. I was wondering
if we could have lunch together.Copy !req
1106. I don't know how important it is,
but you might find it educational.Copy !req
1107. It concerns your husband.Copy !req
1108. All right. One o'clock,
Longchamps, Madison and 59th.Copy !req
1109. Don't worry. I'm on my way.Copy !req
1110. Just making a personal call.Copy !req
1111. Here's a dime.Copy !req
1112. Going down.Copy !req
1113. Oh, Mr. Baxter! I'm glad you're here.Copy !req
1114. - I was just going to get the passkey.
- What for?Copy !req
1115. I thought I smelled gas
coming from your apartment.Copy !req
1116. Gas?Copy !req
1117. Miss Kubelik?Copy !req
1118. Miss Kubelik!Copy !req
1119. - You all right?
- Sure!Copy !req
1120. - What's that funny smell?
- Gas! Didn't you turn it on?Copy !req
1121. Yes, to boil water to get
the coffee stains out of my dress.Copy !req
1122. - You turned it on but you didn't light it.
- Are you supposed to?Copy !req
1123. In this house you're supposed to.
Hey, what are you doing with that?Copy !req
1124. I was washing my stockings,
so I thought I'd wash your socks too.Copy !req
1125. - Oh. Thank you.
- Very curious. I could only find 3½ pair.Copy !req
1126. Things are a little disorganized
around here.Copy !req
1127. I'd say. What's a tennis racket
doing in the kitchen?Copy !req
1128. Tennis racket? Oh, I remember.
I was cooking myself an Italian dinner.Copy !req
1129. I used it to strain the spaghetti.Copy !req
1130. - Why not?
- In fact, I'm a pretty good cook.Copy !req
1131. - Only I'm a lousy housekeeper.
- Yes, you are.Copy !req
1132. When I was straightening up the couch,
I found six hairpins, a lipstick...Copy !req
1133. a pair of false eyelashes and
a swizzle stick from the Stork Club.Copy !req
1134. It's just that I'm the kind of guy
who can't say no.Copy !req
1135. - I don't mean to girls. I mean...
- To someone like Mr. Sheldrake.Copy !req
1136. - I guess so.
- I know so.Copy !req
1137. - He's a taker.
- What?Copy !req
1138. Some people take, some people get took.Copy !req
1139. And they know they're gettin' took
and there's nothin' they can do about it.Copy !req
1140. I wouldn't say that.Copy !req
1141. What would you like for dinner, huh?Copy !req
1142. Hey. Onion soup, and canned asparagus...Copy !req
1143. I really should be getting home.Copy !req
1144. - My family'll be flipping by now.
- You can't leave yet.Copy !req
1145. The doctor said it takes 48 hours
to get that stuff out of your system.Copy !req
1146. How long does it take to get someone
you're stuck on out of your system?Copy !req
1147. If only they'd invent
some kind of pump for that.Copy !req
1148. I know how you feel, Miss Kubelik. You
think it's the end of the world. But it's not.Copy !req
1149. I went through exactly
the same thing myself.Copy !req
1150. - You did?
- Well, not exactly the same.Copy !req
1151. I tried to do it with a gun.Copy !req
1152. - Over a girl?
- Worse. It was the wife of my best friend.Copy !req
1153. And I was mad about her. But I knew
it was hopeless and I decided to end it all.Copy !req
1154. I went to a pawnshop and I bought a.45
automatic and I drove up to Eden Park...Copy !req
1155. - Do you know Cincinnati?
- No, I don't.Copy !req
1156. Anyway, I parked the car
and I loaded that gun...Copy !req
1157. You read in the papers that people shoot
themselves. Believe me, it's not that easy.Copy !req
1158. I mean, how do you do it?
Here? Here? Here?Copy !req
1159. - Know where I finally shot myself?
- Where?Copy !req
1160. - Here.
- In the knee?Copy !req
1161. Yeah! I was sittin' there, tryin' to decide.Copy !req
1162. A cop came up because
I was illegally parked.Copy !req
1163. I tried to hide the gun
under the seat and it went off.Copy !req
1164. - That's terrible!
- It was a year till I could bend the knee.Copy !req
1165. But I got over the girl in three weeks.Copy !req
1166. Still lives in Cincinnati.
Has four kids and gained 20 pounds.Copy !req
1167. Sends me a fruitcake every Christmas.Copy !req
1168. Are you just making this up
to make me feel better?Copy !req
1169. Of course not! Here's the fruitcake.Copy !req
1170. - Do you wanna see my knee?
- No, thank you.Copy !req
1171. The fellas in the office might
get the wrong idea how I found out.Copy !req
1172. Let 'em! Look, I'm gonna cook dinner
for us. We'll have fruitcake for dessert.Copy !req
1173. You just sit there and rest.
You've done enough for today.Copy !req
1174. Yes, Nurse.Copy !req
1175. - Can I help you?
- I'm lookin' for Miss Kubelik.Copy !req
1176. - So am I. She didn't report this morning.
- She didn't? Who's in charge here?Copy !req
1177. That comes under General Office
Administration. Mr. Dobisch, 21st floor.Copy !req
1178. Thanks.Copy !req
1179. So I take Sylvia up to the apartment, and
guess who he's stashed in the bedroom.Copy !req
1180. - Who?
- Kubelik.Copy !req
1181. No kiddin'? Buddy-boy and Kubelik
having a little toot?Copy !req
1182. Toot? More like a lost weekend.
Neither of 'em showed up for work today.Copy !req
1183. AWOL, hm?Copy !req
1184. What gripes me is
they guzzled my champagne...Copy !req
1185. while Sylvia and I wound up
at the Guggenheim Museum.Copy !req
1186. - Mr. Dobisch?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1187. I'm Karl Matuschka. My sister-in-law
runs one of the elevators. Fran Kubelik.Copy !req
1188. - Miss Kubelik?
- You know her?Copy !req
1189. Of course. We have a lot of employees,
but we're one big, happy family.Copy !req
1190. She lives with us, and my wife's nervousCopy !req
1191. cause Fran hasn't been home
for two days.Copy !req
1192. That so?Copy !req
1193. So we wondered if somebody here
knew what happened to her.Copy !req
1194. I see.Copy !req
1195. What do you think, Al?
Can we help the man?Copy !req
1196. Why not? We don't owe
Buddy-boy anything.Copy !req
1197. Yeah. What's Buddy-boy
done for us lately?Copy !req
1198. Who is Buddy-boy?Copy !req
1199. - Are we dressing for dinner?
- No. Just come as you are.Copy !req
1200. - You're pretty good with that racket.
- You should see my backhand.Copy !req
1201. Wait till you see me serve the meatballs.Copy !req
1202. - Shall I light the candles?
- It's a must, gracious livingwise.Copy !req
1203. - You bought some napkins.
- Might as well go all the way.Copy !req
1204. You know, I used to live
like Robinson Crusoe.Copy !req
1205. Shipwrecked, among eight million people.Copy !req
1206. And then one day I saw
a footprint in the sand...Copy !req
1207. and there you were.Copy !req
1208. It's a wonderful thing, dinner for two.Copy !req
1209. - Do you usually eat alone?
- No. Sometimes I eat with Ed Sullivan.Copy !req
1210. Or sometimes Dinah Shore
or Perry Como.Copy !req
1211. The other night it was Mae West.
She was much younger then. Cheers.Copy !req
1212. - Cheers.
- Know what we're gonna do after dinner?Copy !req
1213. - The dishes.
- I mean after that.Copy !req
1214. - What?
- You don't have to if you don't want to.Copy !req
1215. - Oh, I don't?
- We're gonna finish the gin game.Copy !req
1216. So keep a clear head.Copy !req
1217. Cause I don't wanna take advantage of
you, the way I did yesterday in bed.Copy !req
1218. - Baxter?
- Yes.Copy !req
1219. What's with you, Fran?
Did you forget where you live?Copy !req
1220. - My brother-in-law, Karl Matuschka.
- Oh! How do you do, Mr. Matusch...Copy !req
1221. - Get dressed. I got the cab downstairs.
- Wait. I know what you're thinking, but...Copy !req
1222. It's none of my business
what you do. You're over 21.Copy !req
1223. - But your sister thinks you're a lady.
- All we were gonna do was eat!Copy !req
1224. If there wasn't a lady present,
I'd clobber you.Copy !req
1225. All right, Karl! I'll get dressed.Copy !req
1226. Want a martini?Copy !req
1227. How about some spaghetti
with meat sauce that I cooked myself?Copy !req
1228. Your sister-in-law sure is terrific.Copy !req
1229. It must be murder drivin' a cab
in New York with the cross-town traffic.Copy !req
1230. Hi, Baxter. How's the patient?Copy !req
1231. Oh, uh... I'm fine, Doc.Copy !req
1232. Not you. Miss Kubelik.Copy !req
1233. - What's the matter with Miss Kubelik?
- This is Mr. Matuschka. He's... got a cab.Copy !req
1234. - Fran been sick?
- No. Just a little accident.Copy !req
1235. - What does he mean, accident?
- Well... these things happen all the time.Copy !req
1236. What things? What kind
of a doctor are you?Copy !req
1237. Not that kind! He just gave her
a shot, pumped out her stomach.Copy !req
1238. - What for?
- I took sleeping pills. But I'm fine now.Copy !req
1239. - Why'd you take sleeping pills?
- On account of me.Copy !req
1240. You?Copy !req
1241. Who else?Copy !req
1242. Leave him alone!Copy !req
1243. Oh, you fool. You damn fool.Copy !req
1244. - Come on, Fran.
- Goodbye, Mr. Baxter.Copy !req
1245. Goodbye, Doctor.Copy !req
1246. Well, I don't wanna gloat, but
just between us, you had it coming to you.Copy !req
1247. You're gonna have a shiner tomorrow.Copy !req
1248. Let me get my bag.Copy !req
1249. Don't bother, Doc.Copy !req
1250. It doesn't hurt a bit.Copy !req
1251. Mr. Sheldrake's office? This is C.C. Baxter.Copy !req
1252. Please tell him I'd like to
come up and see him. It's important.Copy !req
1253. Will you call me back, please?Copy !req
1254. Mr. Sheldrake, I've got good news for you.Copy !req
1255. All your troubles are over.Copy !req
1256. I'm gonna take Miss Kubelik
off your hands.Copy !req
1257. The plain fact is, I love her.Copy !req
1258. I thought you should be the first to know.Copy !req
1259. After all, you don't really
want her, and I do.Copy !req
1260. And though it may sound presumptuous,
she needs somebody like me.Copy !req
1261. So I think it would be best all around.Copy !req
1262. Solutionwise.Copy !req
1263. Yes?Copy !req
1264. I'll be right up.Copy !req
1265. Mr. Sheldrake, I've got good news for you.Copy !req
1266. All your troubles are over.Copy !req
1267. 19.Copy !req
1268. - Hi, Buddy-boy. What happened to you?
- Hit by a swinging door?Copy !req
1269. - Or a yellow cab?
- That guy really must've belted him.Copy !req
1270. Yeah. He's punchy. Talking to himself.Copy !req
1271. 27.Copy !req
1272. Those two days
she spent in the apartment...Copy !req
1273. made me realize
how lonely I'd been before.Copy !req
1274. But, thanks to you, I'm
in a financial position to marry her.Copy !req
1275. If I can ever square things with her family.Copy !req
1276. Good morning. C.C. Baxter.Copy !req
1277. - 'Mr. Baxter is here.'
- Send him in.Copy !req
1278. Mr. Sheldrake, I've got good news for you.Copy !req
1279. And I've got good news for you, Baxter.Copy !req
1280. - All your troubles are over.
- Sir?Copy !req
1281. I know how worried you were
about Miss Kubelik. Stop worrying.Copy !req
1282. I'm going to take her off your hands.Copy !req
1283. - You're gonna take her off my hands?
- That's right.Copy !req
1284. I've moved out of the house.Copy !req
1285. I'm gonna be staying in town,
at the Athletic Club.Copy !req
1286. - You left your wife.
- If you must know, I fired my secretary.Copy !req
1287. My secretary got to my wife, and my wife
fired me. Ain't that a kick in the head?Copy !req
1288. Yeah.Copy !req
1289. Now what's your news, Baxter?Copy !req
1290. It's about Miss Kubelik. She's feeling
all right again so she went home.Copy !req
1291. Swell. And don't think
I've forgotten what you did for me.Copy !req
1292. This way, Baxter.Copy !req
1293. Sit down. Try it on for size.Copy !req
1294. - You like? It's all yours.
- Mine?Copy !req
1295. My assistant has been shifted to the
Denver office and you're taking his place.Copy !req
1296. What's the matter?
You don't seem very excited.Copy !req
1297. Well, it's just that so many things
have been happening so fast.Copy !req
1298. I'm very pleased.
Especially for Miss Kubelik.Copy !req
1299. I think she's the kind of girl that definitely
ought to be married to... someone.Copy !req
1300. Sure, sure. But first the property has to be
settled. Then it takes six weeks in Reno.Copy !req
1301. Meanwhile I'm going to enjoy
being a bachelor for a while.Copy !req
1302. Oh, Baxter, you now can have lunch
in the executive dining room.Copy !req
1303. That's one of the privileges
that goes with this job.Copy !req
1304. You also get a nice little expense account,
use of the executive washroom...Copy !req
1305. Say, what happened to you, Baxter?Copy !req
1306. - I got kicked in the head too.
- Oh?Copy !req
1307. Good evening, Mr. Baxter.Copy !req
1308. Oh.Copy !req
1309. Miss Kubelik. How are you feeling?Copy !req
1310. - I feel fine. How's your eye?
- Oh, fine.Copy !req
1311. - How are things at the apartment?
- Nothing's changed.Copy !req
1312. - We never did finish that gin game.
- I know.Copy !req
1313. I suppose you heard about Mr. Sheldrake.Copy !req
1314. Leaving his wife? Yeah.
I'm very happy for you.Copy !req
1315. - I never thought he'd do it.
- I told you all along.Copy !req
1316. - You were wrong about Mr. Sheldrake.
- I guess so.Copy !req
1317. You were wrong about me too.Copy !req
1318. What you said about those who take
and those who get took.Copy !req
1319. Mr. Sheldrake wasn't using me.
I was using him. See?Copy !req
1320. Last month I was at desk 861 on
the 19th floor. Now I'm on the 27th floor.Copy !req
1321. A paneled office, three windows.Copy !req
1322. So it all worked out fine.
We're both getting what we wanted.Copy !req
1323. Yes. Will you walk me to the subway?Copy !req
1324. No, thank you. Well, I... To tell you the
truth, I have this heavy date for tonight.Copy !req
1325. - Aren't you meeting Mr. Sheldrake?
- No. You know how people talk.Copy !req
1326. I decided it was best not to see each other
until everything was settled, divorcewise.Copy !req
1327. That's very wise.Copy !req
1328. - Good night, Mr. Baxter.
- Good night.Copy !req
1329. - Baxter, could you step in here a minute?
- Yes, Mr. Sheldrake.Copy !req
1330. - There you are.
- Much obliged.Copy !req
1331. Here are the figures on staff turnover. 37%
of females leave to get married and 22%...Copy !req
1332. Baxter, you work too hard.
It's New Year's Eve. Relax!Copy !req
1333. - Yes, sir.
- I suppose you'll be celebrating tonight.Copy !req
1334. - Naturally.
- I'm taking Miss Kubelik out.Copy !req
1335. - I finally talked her into it.
- I see.Copy !req
1336. The only thing is, I'm staying at the
Athletic Club and it's strictly stag, so...Copy !req
1337. If you don't mind?Copy !req
1338. - Don't mind what?
- You know my key to your apartment?Copy !req
1339. When we had that little scare
about Miss Kubelik...Copy !req
1340. - ... I threw it out the window of the train.
- Very clever.Copy !req
1341. So now I'll have to borrow your key.Copy !req
1342. - Sorry, Mr. Sheldrake.
- What do you mean, sorry?Copy !req
1343. You're not bringing anybody
to my apartment.Copy !req
1344. - It's not just anybody. It's Miss Kubelik.
- Especially not Miss Kubelik.Copy !req
1345. - How's that again?
- No key.Copy !req
1346. Baxter, I picked you for my team because
I thought you were a bright young man.Copy !req
1347. Do you realize what you're doing?
Not to me, but to yourself?Copy !req
1348. Normally it takes years
to work your way up to the 27th floor.Copy !req
1349. But it only takes 30 seconds
to be out on the street again.Copy !req
1350. - You dig?
- I dig.Copy !req
1351. So what's it going to be?Copy !req
1352. - Now you're being bright.
- Thank you, sir.Copy !req
1353. - Baxter, you gave me the wrong key.
- No, I didn't.Copy !req
1354. But this is the key
to the executive washroom.Copy !req
1355. That's right. I won't be needing it
because I'm all washed up around here.Copy !req
1356. - What's gotten into you?
- Just following doctor's orders.Copy !req
1357. I've decided to become a mensch.
Know what that means? A human being.Copy !req
1358. - Now hold on, Baxter.
- The old payola won't work any more.Copy !req
1359. Goodbye, Mr. Sheldrake.Copy !req
1360. - We're having a party and ran out of ice.
- Sure, Doc.Copy !req
1361. How come you're alone
on New Year's Eve?Copy !req
1362. Well, I got things to do.Copy !req
1363. - What's this? You're packing?
- Yeah. I'm giving up the apartment.Copy !req
1364. Where are you moving to?Copy !req
1365. I don't know. All I know is
I gotta get outta this place.Copy !req
1366. Sorry to lose you, Baxter.Copy !req
1367. Me? Oh, my body. Don't worry, it'll go to
the university, Doc. I'll put it in writing.Copy !req
1368. - Could you use some champagne?
- Booze we don't need.Copy !req
1369. Say, why don't you join us?Copy !req
1370. We got two brain surgeons, a proctologist
and three nurses from Bellevue.Copy !req
1371. No, thanks. I don't feel like it.Copy !req
1372. In case I don't see you again, how much
do I owe you for taking care of that girl?Copy !req
1373. Forget it. I didn't do it as a doctor.
I did it as a neighbor.Copy !req
1374. By the way, whatever happened to her?Copy !req
1375. You know me with girls.
Easy come, easy go.Copy !req
1376. - Goodbye, Doc.
- Happy New Year.Copy !req
1377. Sorry I took so long
on the phone. We're all set.Copy !req
1378. - For what?
- I rented a car. It'll be here at one.Copy !req
1379. - We're driving to Atlantic City.
- Atlantic City?Copy !req
1380. I know it's a drag, but you can't find
a hotel room in town on New Year's Eve.Copy !req
1381. Ring out the old year, ring in the new.Copy !req
1382. Ring-a-ding-ding.Copy !req
1383. I didn't plan it this way. It's Baxter's fault.Copy !req
1384. Baxter?Copy !req
1385. He wouldn't give me
the key to the apartment.Copy !req
1386. - He wouldn't?
- No. He just walked out on me. Quit.Copy !req
1387. Threw that big, fat job right in my face.Copy !req
1388. - The nerve.
- The little punk. After all I did for him.Copy !req
1389. Said I couldn't bring anybody to the
apartment, especially not Miss Kubelik.Copy !req
1390. What's he got against you, anyway?Copy !req
1391. I don't know. I guess that's the way
it crumbles, cookiewise.Copy !req
1392. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1393. I'd spell it out for you, only I can't spell.Copy !req
1394. Happy New Year, Fran.Copy !req
1395. Fran?Copy !req
1396. Where are you, Fran?Copy !req
1397. Mr. Baxter!Copy !req
1398. Mr. Baxter!Copy !req
1399. Mr. Baxter! Mr. Baxter!Copy !req
1400. Oh!Copy !req
1401. - Are you all right?
- I'm fine.Copy !req
1402. Are you sure? How's your knee?Copy !req
1403. I'm fine all over.Copy !req
1404. - Mind if I come in?
- Of course not.Copy !req
1405. Let me get another glass.Copy !req
1406. - Where are you going?
- Who knows?Copy !req
1407. Another neighborhood,
another town, another job.Copy !req
1408. I'm on my own.Copy !req
1409. That's funny. So am I.Copy !req
1410. What'd you do with the cards?Copy !req
1411. In there.Copy !req
1412. What about Mr. Sheldrake?Copy !req
1413. I'm gonna send him
a fruitcake every Christmas.Copy !req
1414. Cut.Copy !req
1415. I love you, Miss Kubelik.Copy !req
1416. Three.Copy !req
1417. Queen.Copy !req
1418. Did you hear what I said, Miss Kubelik?
I absolutely adore you.Copy !req
1419. Shut up and deal.Copy !req