1. - Okay.
- Get back in there.Copy !req
2. - My wife's in there. And my children.Copy !req
3. Help me.Copy !req
4. Hurry up there. Come on.Copy !req
5. Sergeant, get those men
back to barracks!Copy !req
6. Sergeant, get those men
back to barracks!Copy !req
7. And so as the sun rose
over the island of Cheese,Copy !req
8. casting long shadows
through the sausage bushes,Copy !req
9. illuminating the tops of the honey treesCopy !req
10. and warming the fields of smoked salmon,Copy !req
11. - I, Baron Munchausen, who am renowned…Copy !req
12. first and foremost for telling the truth,Copy !req
13. the whole truth
and nothing but the truth —Copy !req
14. For while it has been my privilege…Copy !req
15. - Oh! Oh, tighter, tighter.Copy !req
16. Hold steady.Copy !req
17. How can you become a great actress
like me, poor darling,Copy !req
18. if you get blown to pieces?Copy !req
19. Come on!Copy !req
20. … my native land.Copy !req
21. - Oh, yeah!
- That's a good one, isn't it?Copy !req
22. - There to attempt the education…Copy !req
23. … of the provincial and narrow-mindedCopy !req
24. and stupidly incredulous
fellow countrymen,Copy !req
25. we heaved anchor and set sail.Copy !req
26. We heaved anchor and set sail!Copy !req
27. The waves. The waves!Copy !req
28. Oh, bugger!Copy !req
29. - We heaved anchor and set sail!
- We are actors.Copy !req
30. - Where the devil are the stagehands?
- Dead!Copy !req
31. - They can't all have been killed.
- Not killed, ducky. Suicide.Copy !req
32. Nothing to do with your acting.Copy !req
33. And…Copy !req
34. - We heaved anchor —Copy !req
35. But ill luck pursued me.Copy !req
36. I was blown towards
the waiting jaws of a whaleCopy !req
37. of such prodigious size and lengthCopy !req
38. - that I could not…Copy !req
39. … even with a telescope,Copy !req
40. see the end of him.Copy !req
41. I have learned from experienceCopy !req
42. that a modicum of snuff
can be most efficacious.Copy !req
43. - Hell's bells and buckets of blood!Copy !req
44. - Where were the waves?Copy !req
45. - The waves — Ah! You've stabbed my vitals!
- Oh, God!Copy !req
46. You incompetent imbecile!Copy !req
47. It wasn't me. It was — It was her!Copy !req
48. It wasn't me! It was him!Copy !req
49. - You big pintle!Copy !req
50. We are supposed to be professionals!Copy !req
51. And we're trying to stay alive!Copy !req
52. Sally!Copy !req
53. - All right. All right. Shh.Copy !req
54. Now, stay in here or I shall lock you up.Copy !req
55. - Where's my brother?
- What?Copy !req
56. You haven't got a brother.Copy !req
57. Then you just tell me why it says,
"Henry Salt and Son."Copy !req
58. I'm your daughter.Copy !req
59. Should never have taught you to read.Copy !req
60. "And Son" is traditional.Copy !req
61. That's the way it's supposed to be.Copy !req
62. What's this?Copy !req
63. Bah!Copy !req
64. No. The sultan's demands
are still not sufficiently rational.Copy !req
65. The only lasting peace is one based
on reason and scientific principle.Copy !req
66. I'm terribly sorry, Mr. Jackson.Copy !req
67. The first act didn't go
quite as we would have liked.Copy !req
68. One or two little technical problems.Copy !req
69. Oh, please don't apologize, Mr. Salt.Copy !req
70. I'm sure you're doing your best
in very trying circumstances.Copy !req
71. - Your attention.
- Hmm? Ah, excuse me.Copy !req
72. They're our soldiers.Copy !req
73. Ah, the officer who risked his lifeCopy !req
74. - by single-handedly destroying…
- Six.Copy !req
75. … six enemy cannonCopy !req
76. - and rescuing…
- Ten.Copy !req
77. … ten of our men
held captive by the Turk.Copy !req
78. Yes, sir.Copy !req
79. The officer about whom
we've heard so much.Copy !req
80. I suppose so, sir.Copy !req
81. Always taking risks
far beyond the call of duty.Copy !req
82. I only did my best, sir.Copy !req
83. Have him executed at once.Copy !req
84. Yes, sir. Come along!Copy !req
85. This sort of behavior
is demoralizingCopy !req
86. for the ordinary soldiers and citizensCopy !req
87. who are trying to lead normal,
simple, unexceptional lives.Copy !req
88. Things are difficult enough as it isCopy !req
89. without these emotional people
rocking the boat.Copy !req
90. Ah! Constantinople!Copy !req
91. - The court of the Grand Turk.Copy !req
92. What a surprise that a passing zephyrCopy !req
93. should waft me here.Copy !req
94. Perhaps fate wishes me to teach the sultan
a lesson or two.Copy !req
95. His Highness, the sultan,
loved a good wineCopy !req
96. and could never resist a wager,Copy !req
97. characteristics that were
to cost him dear.Copy !req
98. Lies! Lies! The scoundrels!Copy !req
99. I won't put up with it! It's intolerable!Copy !req
100. Stop this travesty! Stop it!Copy !req
101. I think we should —Copy !req
102. - It's an insult. An indignity.Copy !req
103. I've never seen so much rubbish
in all my life.Copy !req
104. You don't know what you're talking about.Copy !req
105. - After a sumptuous dinner…
- Outrageous!Copy !req
106. Is this supposed to happen?Copy !req
107. - … the sultan bade me to accompany him…
- Yes, I think so.Copy !req
108. … to his private apartments.Copy !req
109. Please — No, no, no. Please —
Please leave the stage.Copy !req
110. This blackguard's an impostor.Copy !req
111. I am Baron Munchausen,
and I won't be made a fool of.Copy !req
112. Please, leave. You cannot come up here.Copy !req
113. We are presenting a performance.Copy !req
114. You are presenting a mockery.Copy !req
115. You present me as if I were
a ridiculous fiction, a joke.Copy !req
116. I won't have it.Copy !req
117. - Get him out of here!
- What the devil's going on?Copy !req
118. Whoa!Copy !req
119. - Come and see!Copy !req
120. Curtain!Copy !req
121. Ring the curtain!Copy !req
122. Get off. Get him off, get him off!
Get him off!Copy !req
123. Get rid of the old fool!
You're ruining the show!Copy !req
124. Quick, Jeremy, Bill, do something.
I must talk with my audience.Copy !req
125. - Ladies and gentlemen, I must —Copy !req
126. I must apologize for this —
this most dreadful occurrence.Copy !req
127. I can assure you that…Copy !req
128. … we will endeavor
to continue with the performanceCopy !req
129. as advertised in your sheet.Copy !req
130. - Hello.
- Hello.Copy !req
131. Beautiful ladies.Copy !req
132. Hello.Copy !req
133. Beautiful ladies.Copy !req
134. You have really great taste, sir.Copy !req
135. Otherwise, it's all quite wrong!Copy !req
136. Listen, cocky,
uh, w-we've got a show to do and —Copy !req
137. Good Lord. Berthold.Copy !req
138. Who's Berthold?Copy !req
139. How on earth —Copy !req
140. It's marvelous to see you. How are you?Copy !req
141. Where have you been? How are your legs?Copy !req
142. - Where are the others?
- Sally, come away.Copy !req
143. Albrecht.Copy !req
144. Adolphus.Copy !req
145. Gustavus.Copy !req
146. I can't believe it. This is miraculous.Copy !req
147. - I'm Bill.
- He's Bill.Copy !req
148. Is he still here? Will you get rid of him,
for goodness' sake!Copy !req
149. - What is the matter?
- Oh, I'm terribly sorry, sir.Copy !req
150. We're just about to start
the second act afresh.Copy !req
151. - "Afresh"?
- Who is this?Copy !req
152. I've no idea. Some old lunatic.Copy !req
153. He's Baron Munchausen.Copy !req
154. Oh, I see.Copy !req
155. The real Baron Munchausen.Copy !req
156. Yes, indeed.Copy !req
157. And who, sir, may I ask, are you?Copy !req
158. A public servant.Copy !req
159. I am responsible for, among other things,
the licensing of this theater.Copy !req
160. This, sir,
is the Right Ordinary Horatio Jackson,Copy !req
161. who just happens to be winning the war
and saving the city.Copy !req
162. Ha!Copy !req
163. Now, please leave us.Copy !req
164. - He's an ass.Copy !req
165. Only I can end this war.Copy !req
166. Explain yourself.Copy !req
167. I can end it because I began it.Copy !req
168. I am the cause.Copy !req
169. I'm afraid, sir,
you have rather a weak grasp of reality.Copy !req
170. Your reality, sir,Copy !req
171. is lies and balderdash,Copy !req
172. and I'm delighted to say
that I have no grasp of it whatsoever.Copy !req
173. This man obviously needs a doctor.Copy !req
174. - Doctor? Doctor?Copy !req
175. We will continue with the show.
So thank you very much, Your Ordinariness.Copy !req
176. Right. Off!Copy !req
177. Please! Please be reasonable.Copy !req
178. If we don't get on with it,
he'll throw us to the Turks.Copy !req
179. - I'll get on with it.Copy !req
180. I'll show them how it should be.Copy !req
181. My lords.Copy !req
182. Ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
183. Baron Munchausen at your service.Copy !req
184. Pruned any noses recently?Copy !req
185. - Give us a song!
- Now, wait, wait.Copy !req
186. - Most of you won't remember me…
- Get him off there.Copy !req
187. … or my adventures,
but I assure you they are true.Copy !req
188. Let's have it then!Copy !req
189. The truth is,Copy !req
190. I am the cause of this siege.Copy !req
191. - Don't be stupid!
- What about the Turks, then?Copy !req
192. You're the cause
of the border dispute, are you?Copy !req
193. - It's the sea routes we're fighting for!
- No, it isn't!Copy !req
194. - That was last time!
- Get him out!Copy !req
195. - You poor, deluded fools.Copy !req
196. If you would only do me the courtesyCopy !req
197. - of accepting the word of a gentleman,Copy !req
198. I will reveal the true cause of this war.Copy !req
199. - After my —
- Oh!Copy !req
200. Oh, dear.Copy !req
201. After my return from Egypt,Copy !req
202. I was most warmly welcomed
by the Grand Turk.Copy !req
203. His Highness, the sultan,Copy !req
204. who knew of my reputationCopy !req
205. and held me in high esteem.Copy !req
206. In fact, so delighted was he
with my companyCopy !req
207. that he offered me access to his harem.Copy !req
208. - One day…
- Go on. Go on.Copy !req
209. … the sultan brought me a bottle
of his favorite Tokay.Copy !req
210. Thank you.Copy !req
211. Mmm.Copy !req
212. What do you think of that, eh?Copy !req
213. Not bad.Copy !req
214. "Not bad"?Copy !req
215. My dear Munchausen,
it's impossible to find better.Copy !req
216. Humbug, Your Majesty.Copy !req
217. What do you wager that I won't
procure for you, within the hour,Copy !req
218. a bottle of Tokay far superior to thisCopy !req
219. from the imperial cellar at Vienna,Copy !req
220. a mere thousand-odd miles away?Copy !req
221. Accept my challenge.Copy !req
222. If I don't succeed,
you may cut off my head.Copy !req
223. These are my stakes. What are yours?Copy !req
224. I accept.Copy !req
225. And if you succeed,
you may take from my treasuryCopy !req
226. as much treasure
as the strongest man can carry.Copy !req
227. Agreed.Copy !req
228. Give me pen and ink and I will write
to the empress immediately.Copy !req
229. Berthold?Copy !req
230. Berthold!Copy !req
231. Coming!Copy !req
232. Oh, blast. Sorry, gents. I've gotta go.Copy !req
233. Take this to Vienna, to the empress.Copy !req
234. She will give you a bottle of wine.Copy !req
235. Bring it straight to me.Copy !req
236. Right-o.Copy !req
237. Perhaps you would care for a little
light entertainment while you wait.Copy !req
238. I have been composing a short opera.Copy !req
239. - Would you like to hear a song or two?
- No, thank you.Copy !req
240. Oh, you'll love it. It's a comedy.Copy !req
241. It's called The Torturer's Apprentice.Copy !req
242. Here's the overture.Copy !req
243. - The curtain —Copy !req
244. The curtain rises on a typical,
everyday torture chamber.Copy !req
245. Yosrick, the young apprentice,Copy !req
246. sings of his joy in his job.Copy !req
247. Act 4 is set in an abattoir. Heh-heh!Copy !req
248. I see a lot of slapstick.Copy !req
249. We begin with the arrival
of the eunuchs' chorus who sing,Copy !req
250. "Cut Off in My Prime,
Mein Herz, Mein Herz."Copy !req
251. Excuse me a moment.Copy !req
252. Oh, you won't want to miss this aria.Copy !req
253. It reminds me of my school days
in England.Copy !req
254. Hyah!Copy !req
255. Steady.Copy !req
256. Where the hell's Berthold?Copy !req
257. Don't know. I thought he was with you.Copy !req
258. Well, if he's not here
in three and a half minutes,Copy !req
259. the sultan is going to cut off my head.Copy !req
260. And?Copy !req
261. "And"?Copy !req
262. Is that all?Copy !req
263. I'm sorry. I don't find that funny.
Do you find that funny?Copy !req
264. This isn't a joke. It's a wager.Copy !req
265. A wager?Copy !req
266. - He's asleep.Copy !req
267. You can hear him snoring,
about 900 miles away.Copy !req
268. Come on.Copy !req
269. - Hey!Copy !req
270. - He's under a tree.Copy !req
271. - Near Belgrade.
- What?Copy !req
272. - There's a bottle beside him.
- I hope he hasn't been at it.Copy !req
273. So do I.Copy !req
274. What's the wind speed, Gus?Copy !req
275. Three knots.Copy !req
276. Mmm.Copy !req
277. Oh!Copy !req
278. Well…Copy !req
279. Time's nearly up, I think.Copy !req
280. Ready.Copy !req
281. There.Copy !req
282. Now.Copy !req
283. - Huh?Copy !req
284. - Not late, am I?
- No.Copy !req
285. Not late, thank you very much.Copy !req
286. Thanks. I needed a trim.Copy !req
287. Much obliged.Copy !req
288. From the empress.Copy !req
289. Ah.Copy !req
290. Mmm. Ooh.Copy !req
291. Mmm!Copy !req
292. Delicious.Copy !req
293. You win.Copy !req
294. Treasurer, allow my friend here
to take from the treasuryCopy !req
295. as much as the strongest man can carry.Copy !req
296. Yes.Copy !req
297. Yes. That's it.Copy !req
298. Thanks, squire.Copy !req
299. I must speak with the sultan.Copy !req
300. - What is it?
- Excellency, they've taken everything.Copy !req
301. What?Copy !req
302. - Aah!Copy !req
303. Ha! Right.Copy !req
304. Uh-oh.Copy !req
305. Ah!Copy !req
306. Gustavus.Copy !req
307. Stop them!Copy !req
308. Bring them back!Copy !req
309. Gustavus, again.Copy !req
310. Fire!Copy !req
311. Don't shoot!Copy !req
312. - Stand firm, my friends!
- Take cover!Copy !req
313. Whoa!Copy !req
314. - Regroup!Copy !req
315. Don't leave me!Copy !req
316. - Let me in, let me in!Copy !req
317. And so, as you can see,
the sultan is still after my head.Copy !req
318. Wait, stop. Don't go.Copy !req
319. Come back. There's more. There's more!Copy !req
320. I haven't finished. Don't leave now.Copy !req
321. Gustavus. Adolphus. Albrecht.Copy !req
322. We're about to make off
with the sultan's treasure.Copy !req
323. We can't just stop.Copy !req
324. Berthold!Copy !req
325. The name's Desmond, mate.Copy !req
326. We're actors,
not figments of your imagination.Copy !req
327. Now, get a grip!Copy !req
328. Oh, come back.Copy !req
329. Come back.Copy !req
330. Come back!Copy !req
331. What the devil is the sultan playing at?Copy !req
332. It's Wednesday, isn't it?Copy !req
333. I'm terribly sorry, sir, about the show.
One or two minor setbacks here, sir.Copy !req
334. This theater's closed. I want you and
your company out of this city by tomorrow.Copy !req
335. Oh, no, sir, no! No, sir, sir, please!
Give us a se —Copy !req
336. Sir, look at these favorable endorsements
from all over Europe, sir.Copy !req
337. "Mr. Salt's company holds a mirror
up to nature." Vienna Clarion.Copy !req
338. "Great value for money." Paris Echo.Copy !req
339. "A good night out." Glasgow Herald.
Just give us one second…Copy !req
340. Here, boy. Good boy. It's all right.Copy !req
341. - Here, boy. Here, boy.Copy !req
342. Are you all right?Copy !req
343. Am I dead?Copy !req
344. No.Copy !req
345. Blast.Copy !req
346. - Who are you really?Copy !req
347. Baron Munchausen isn't real.
He's only in stories.Copy !req
348. Go away. I'm trying to die.Copy !req
349. Why?Copy !req
350. Because I'm tired of the world,Copy !req
351. and the world is evidently tired of me.Copy !req
352. But why? Why?Copy !req
353. Why? Why? Why?Copy !req
354. Because it's all logic and reason now.Copy !req
355. Science. Progress.Copy !req
356. Tsk, tsk.Copy !req
357. Laws of hydraulics.
Laws of social dynamics.Copy !req
358. Laws of this, that and the other.Copy !req
359. No place for three-legged cyclopesCopy !req
360. in the South Seas.Copy !req
361. No place for cucumber treesCopy !req
362. and oceans of wine.Copy !req
363. No place for me.Copy !req
364. - What happened in the story?
- What?Copy !req
365. In the sultan's palace. Did you escape?Copy !req
366. - Were you killed?
- I don't know.Copy !req
367. It was all a long time ago.Copy !req
368. Who cares?Copy !req
369. I do.Copy !req
370. I'm very tired.Copy !req
371. Goodbye.Copy !req
372. Please tell me.Copy !req
373. - No.
- Go on.Copy !req
374. Buzz off.Copy !req
375. Tell me!Copy !req
376. Please.Copy !req
377. You really want to know, don't you?Copy !req
378. Stop it!Copy !req
379. Stop it! We'll all be killed!Copy !req
380. And then I'll never know
the end of the story!Copy !req
381. Wait. Wait, where are you going?Copy !req
382. Come back. Come back!Copy !req
383. Stop it!Copy !req
384. Wait. Wait. Come back.Copy !req
385. Take cover!Copy !req
386. Wretched child.Copy !req
387. Get that powder under cover!Copy !req
388. No!Copy !req
389. Stop it!Copy !req
390. Stop it!Copy !req
391. Get away! Stop it!Copy !req
392. - Get down!
- Stop it!Copy !req
393. - No!Copy !req
394. You'll get us both killed.Copy !req
395. I thought you wanted to die.Copy !req
396. Yes, but I'm old enough.Copy !req
397. Gentlemen, don't you think
it would be a good ideaCopy !req
398. to silence those enemy cannon?Copy !req
399. No, sir.Copy !req
400. No?Copy !req
401. It's Wednesday.Copy !req
402. Oh, my. Wednesday…Copy !req
403. Left! Left! Left!Copy !req
404. Oh, no!Copy !req
405. Oh!Copy !req
406. The Turks are about to storm the walls.Copy !req
407. You really are Baron Munchausen.Copy !req
408. This is the end.Copy !req
409. It's all over.Copy !req
410. Generations of theatrical expertiseCopy !req
411. snuffed out in the twinkling of an eye.Copy !req
412. Sally?Copy !req
413. Sally!Copy !req
414. Ah! Get off!Copy !req
415. Sally, come here.Copy !req
416. You cretinous, senile old fart!Copy !req
417. Thanks to you,
we're to be thrown to the Turks.Copy !req
418. Oh, yes.Copy !req
419. But he is Baron Munchausen.Copy !req
420. The real one.Copy !req
421. - You must believe me.
- Hurry!Copy !req
422. No, honestly, he is, he is.Copy !req
423. Ah, shut up!Copy !req
424. But he is, and he can save us.Copy !req
425. - Can't you?
- Shambles.Copy !req
426. He jumped onto a cannonball.Copy !req
427. He really did.Copy !req
428. And he flew miles up into the sky,
above the elephants and soldiers —Copy !req
429. God, stop lying!Copy !req
430. I'm not lying!Copy !req
431. Am I?Copy !req
432. As a matter of fact, you are.Copy !req
433. But he did.Copy !req
434. And those soldiers saw him too.Copy !req
435. They'll tell you!Copy !req
436. Oh. They're dead.Copy !req
437. But he did!Copy !req
438. No, I didn't.Copy !req
439. Now you're lying!Copy !req
440. I never lie.Copy !req
441. - Oh!Copy !req
442. Sally! Stay here!
What's got into you?Copy !req
443. I didn't fly miles.Copy !req
444. It was more like a mile and a half.Copy !req
445. And I didn't precisely fly.Copy !req
446. I merely held on to a mortar shell
in the first instanceCopy !req
447. and then a cannonball on the way back.Copy !req
448. You maniac. You've done for us.Copy !req
449. Actually, it doesn't matter
whether you're thrown out or stay here.Copy !req
450. The Turks are about to take the town.Copy !req
451. - Quickly, bring those guns out!
- Come on!Copy !req
452. - Oh!Copy !req
453. And I was just coming into my prime!Copy !req
454. I'm just on the cusp
between Romeo and King Lear.Copy !req
455. My public will kill me
for dying at a time like this.Copy !req
456. - Save us!
- Yes.Copy !req
457. Save us!Copy !req
458. Don't disappoint me.Copy !req
459. Please, Baron, please. Oh.Copy !req
460. You are a baron, aren't you? Huh?Copy !req
461. You're our only hope.Copy !req
462. You are my only hope.Copy !req
463. Ladies, ladies, please.Copy !req
464. Please.Copy !req
465. I swear that as long as I,Copy !req
466. Hieronymus Karl Frederick
Baron von Munchausen,Copy !req
467. live and breathe,Copy !req
468. you shall come to no harm.Copy !req
469. You so remind me of Catherine the Great,Copy !req
470. empress of all the Russias,Copy !req
471. whose hand in marriage
I once had the honor to decline.Copy !req
472. They all remind you?Copy !req
473. Yes. Why not?Copy !req
474. Some bits here, some bits there.Copy !req
475. I have a plan.Copy !req
476. - I will set forth immediately…Copy !req
477. … to find my extraordinary servantsCopy !req
478. and with their help
raise the siege and save the town.Copy !req
479. Oh, brilliant. Oh, very good. Bravo.Copy !req
480. How?Copy !req
481. Ladies, I shall require your assistance.Copy !req
482. - Of course.
- Anything.Copy !req
483. Just tell us what to do.Copy !req
484. Kindly be so good
as to remove your knickers.Copy !req
485. Yes. Just like this. Yes, well done there.Copy !req
486. Look at all that underwear.Copy !req
487. Isn't it beautiful?Copy !req
488. It's like a dream come true.Copy !req
489. It's the dawning of the age
of lovely, intimate things.Copy !req
490. But it's madness.
He'll kill himself.Copy !req
491. Yeah, but well worth it, eh?Copy !req
492. That's enough nattering.
Keep pumping. Keep pumping!Copy !req
493. - Better report this.
- You're right.Copy !req
494. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
495. We need a very simple plan.
These are far too complicated.Copy !req
496. - Simplicity is of the essence.
- Sir.Copy !req
497. Sir, those actors
have made an air balloon.Copy !req
498. They're trying to escape.Copy !req
499. Arrest them at once.Copy !req
500. Throw them out of the town.Copy !req
501. We can't open the gates, sir.Copy !req
502. Well, throw them over the walls, then.Copy !req
503. Yes, sir.Copy !req
504. We can't start escaping
at a time like this.Copy !req
505. What would future generations think of us?Copy !req
506. Right! Follow me!Copy !req
507. Hold it, hold it. Don't let it go.Copy !req
508. Whoa!Copy !req
509. Hold it, Adolphus.Copy !req
510. Bring it down, bring it down.Copy !req
511. That's it. Bring the ladder over here.Copy !req
512. - That's it, that's it.
- Take care.Copy !req
513. My dear.Copy !req
514. Baron!Copy !req
515. Oi! Have you seen Sally?Copy !req
516. No.Copy !req
517. Ah, thank you, my dear.Copy !req
518. Stop! You are under arrest!Copy !req
519. Let go! Let go!Copy !req
520. - Quickly now. Quickly!Copy !req
521. Let go!Copy !req
522. Shoot him down! Take aim!Copy !req
523. - Fire!Copy !req
524. Ladies and gentlemen,Copy !req
525. I shall shortly return
with reinforcements.Copy !req
526. Don't lose heart.Copy !req
527. And for all those ladies
to whom I'm indebtedCopy !req
528. for half a ton of frilly silk
and lacy linen,Copy !req
529. don't catch cold.Copy !req
530. - Au revoir.Copy !req
531. Stay, Argus, stay. I'll soon be back.Copy !req
532. I will wait for you!Copy !req
533. Come back soon!Copy !req
534. He won't get far on hot air and fantasy.Copy !req
535. Blast!Copy !req
536. Hang on, hang on.Copy !req
537. Kids!Copy !req
538. Thanks.Copy !req
539. Now you've ruined everything.Copy !req
540. I'll have to douse the fire
to let you down. Tsk, tsk.Copy !req
541. I'll never get off again.Copy !req
542. - I'm going with you.
- I absolutely and utterly refuse.Copy !req
543. If we go down now,
we'll land on the Turks.Copy !req
544. Huh?Copy !req
545. - Ah!Copy !req
546. We've got to find your servants
and get back here quickly.Copy !req
547. That is what I had in mind.Copy !req
548. Where are we going?Copy !req
549. To the moon.Copy !req
550. What? That'll take ages.Copy !req
551. - No, it won't.
- Of course it will.Copy !req
552. Why are we going there?Copy !req
553. That's where I last saw Berthold.Copy !req
554. - Have you ever been to the moon?
- No.Copy !req
555. Ah, interesting place.Copy !req
556. The king and queen are charming.Copy !req
557. You know about their
detachable heads, don't you?Copy !req
558. - No.
- Ah.Copy !req
559. Their heads go off
for intellectual pursuits,Copy !req
560. while their bodies engage
in more, uh, bodily activities.Copy !req
561. The trouble is, their heads and bodies
don't always see eye to eye.Copy !req
562. You do believe me, don't you?Copy !req
563. I'm doing my best.Copy !req
564. Mmm.Copy !req
565. Are you scared?Copy !req
566. Certainly not.Copy !req
567. - Are you?
- Certainly not.Copy !req
568. Oh!Copy !req
569. Grab the rope!Copy !req
570. We're here.Copy !req
571. You look different.Copy !req
572. Younger.Copy !req
573. I always feel rejuvenated
by a touch of adventure.Copy !req
574. For heaven's sake,
don't you get any youngerCopy !req
575. or I'll have to find a wet nurse.Copy !req
576. Look.Copy !req
577. You'll find that I'm one
of the king's special favorites.Copy !req
578. We shall receive a right royal welcome.Copy !req
579. Now what?Copy !req
580. I've got you at last.Copy !req
581. Benvenuto alla luna, Baron.Copy !req
582. Your Majesty. What a great pleasure it is
to see you again.Copy !req
583. May I introduce my friend Sally?Copy !req
584. Sally, King of the Moon.Copy !req
585. Well, his head, at any rate.Copy !req
586. I'm sorry, you must refer to me
by my complete title:Copy !req
587. King of Everything.Copy !req
588. Re di Tutto. But you may call me Ray.Copy !req
589. You know, the moon is a very
insignificant part of my domain now.Copy !req
590. There is so much, much,
much, much, much more.Copy !req
591. My old friend, you —
you seem to be in some discomfort.Copy !req
592. What ails you?Copy !req
593. Nothing ails me.Copy !req
594. Can you not see
that I am at one with the cosmos, hmm?Copy !req
595. Ah.Copy !req
596. "Ah"? I tell you that,
and all you can say is "ah"?Copy !req
597. What are you, blind?Copy !req
598. Baron, let me explain it to you.Copy !req
599. Since you were last here,
I, that is, my head,Copy !req
600. that which is left of me,Copy !req
601. where the brilliant
and important parts are located,Copy !req
602. is now ruling and governing
the known universe.Copy !req
603. And that which I don't know, I create.Copy !req
604. I just created spring.Copy !req
605. But seriously, without me,
there would be nothing. Not even you.Copy !req
606. Cogito ergo es.Copy !req
607. I think, therefore you is.Copy !req
608. Your old friend's a lunatic.Copy !req
609. - So it would seem.Copy !req
610. He's certainly fallen prey
to delusions of grandeur.Copy !req
611. Being in tune with
every molecule in the universeCopy !req
612. requires a great deal of concentration.Copy !req
613. That is why having you on the loose,
Baron, does not help.Copy !req
614. You see, your little stories
are somewhat of a distraction to me.Copy !req
615. You are like a mosquito in the Taj Mahal.Copy !req
616. I must inform you, my liege,Copy !req
617. without my adventures
you wouldn't be here.Copy !req
618. Well, so I am now part of your adventures?Copy !req
619. Well, we shall see about that, huh?Copy !req
620. Hmm.Copy !req
621. Now, Baron, who created who?
I hope you'll be very comfortable.Copy !req
622. - Ciao.
- Oh, Roger!Copy !req
623. There goes my revolting body
with the queen.Copy !req
624. Oh, stop. Oh, I'm tired.Copy !req
625. Oh! Go away. Damn it, he can't hear me.Copy !req
626. Please. Oh!Copy !req
627. Oh, you stinking, horrible man.
Leave me alone!Copy !req
628. It's so embarrassing. Please don't look.Copy !req
629. Maybe he will go away.Copy !req
630. It is hard to believe my body and I
were ever attached.Copy !req
631. We are so totally incompatible.Copy !req
632. He is still dangling from the food chain,
and I am in the stars.Copy !req
633. Oh, it is so unmetaphysi —
No. No, go away.Copy !req
634. No. I despise you. Let me go.Copy !req
635. No! No, no!Copy !req
636. I'm back!Copy !req
637. I got lips again,
and I'm gonna use 'em, baby.Copy !req
638. It's me. I'm your elephant of joy.Copy !req
639. - Oh!Copy !req
640. - Give me bacio, baby.
- Yes, but eat first, darling.Copy !req
641. That's right.Copy !req
642. You gotta mangia before baci.Copy !req
643. Mmm, mmm. I need this stuff.Copy !req
644. You can't do that
when you don't got no mouth.Copy !req
645. Baron.Copy !req
646. - I'm back in business.Copy !req
647. Ah, oh. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
648. Hey, hey! You don't go nowhere.Copy !req
649. - Baron.
- Your most wondrous Majesty.Copy !req
650. - Hey! I know you.
- Oh!Copy !req
651. You're the little guy tried to make off
with my queen last time you were here.Copy !req
652. - Huh?
- Eh, moi?Copy !req
653. We'll have no more of that,
piccolo Casanova.Copy !req
654. What are you looking at?Copy !req
655. Here you go, lovebirds.
I'm sure you'll be very uncomfortable.Copy !req
656. Oh, I am free again.
Free to concentrate on higher things.Copy !req
657. Heh-heh. Oh! Oh.Copy !req
658. Oi! Oh. Ha.Copy !req
659. Why don't you go back
and amuse yourself in the slime, huh?Copy !req
660. Oh, you miss me. Oh!Copy !req
661. I'm blind.
Wait! My kingdom for a handkerchief.Copy !req
662. Wait, don't. Oh! No, let me go!Copy !req
663. I've got tides to regulate,
comets to direct.Copy !req
664. I don't have time
for flatulence and orgasms.Copy !req
665. I hate that face you make me make, that —Copy !req
666. Please, please, no.
I don't want any more bodily functions.Copy !req
667. Oh! Oh, no, please, let me go!Copy !req
668. - I don't have time for this.
- Farewell, Baron.Copy !req
669. One of the king's favorites?Copy !req
670. This cage isn't real.Copy !req
671. It's just part of the king's lunacy.Copy !req
672. It seems solid enough to me.Copy !req
673. I see we're in
a not-very-helpful frame of mind.Copy !req
674. How are we supposed
to save the town from here?Copy !req
675. The town is perfectly all right.Copy !req
676. The present assault is over.
Everyone is quite safe there.Copy !req
677. How do you know?Copy !req
678. I just know.Copy !req
679. - Ow! Ow.Copy !req
680. - Huh? What the devil?
- Ow!Copy !req
681. All right, I'm coming.Copy !req
682. Come out. Come out of there.Copy !req
683. Help.Copy !req
684. - Come out.Copy !req
685. - Come out of there.
- Ow!Copy !req
686. - Stop that. What'd you do that for?
- I beg your pardon.Copy !req
687. - I thought you might be unfriendly.
- Of course I'm unfriendly.Copy !req
688. - You'd be unfriendly if I prodded you.
- Who are you?Copy !req
689. I can't remember. I've been here so long.Copy !req
690. We'll be like that if we don't escape.Copy !req
691. Why are you here?Copy !req
692. Oh, I'm a very wicked criminal.Copy !req
693. What have you done?Copy !req
694. I can't remember.Copy !req
695. Then how do you know you're very wicked?Copy !req
696. Well, uh, f-for one thing,
um, I'm in here.Copy !req
697. And, uh, for another,Copy !req
698. I've got these shackles on.Copy !req
699. - Berthold!
- Eh?Copy !req
700. It's Berthold.Copy !req
701. Berthold.Copy !req
702. It's me, the Baron.Copy !req
703. I knew I'd find you on the moon.Copy !req
704. I'm gonna take you back to Earth
so you can help us fight the sultan.Copy !req
705. Get off! Get off me!Copy !req
706. You're Berthold. Berthold, my old servant.Copy !req
707. Those leg irons are to slow you down,
stop you tearing off all over the place.Copy !req
708. - You must be joking.
- You always wore them, remember?Copy !req
709. - You're crackers.
- I'm Baron Munchausen.Copy !req
710. Hmm. That sounds nasty. Is it contagious?Copy !req
711. - We're wasting time.Copy !req
712. Darling Baron.Copy !req
713. - Ariadne.Copy !req
714. I'm sorry I could not speak to you before,Copy !req
715. but Roger's so difficult.Copy !req
716. Where exactly is Roger?Copy !req
717. In bed with my body, of course.Copy !req
718. Stop it. Stop it.Copy !req
719. If he discovers my head's with you…Copy !req
720. Quickly, quickly, quickly.Copy !req
721. Climb into my hair.Copy !req
722. Why is she making those funny noises?Copy !req
723. No, not there. Yes, yes, yes!Copy !req
724. Her body is with the king, and… he is, uh…Copy !req
725. … tickling her feet.Copy !req
726. Yes, yes, yes! No! Oh, no!Copy !req
727. - Berthold, come on.
- Let go of me.Copy !req
728. - You're coming with us.
- No chance.Copy !req
729. - Why not?
- I can't remember.Copy !req
730. - You're not frightened, are you?
- That's it.Copy !req
731. - Come on, help me.
- Stop it.Copy !req
732. - Hurry, hurry.
- Come on, quickly.Copy !req
733. - Climb aboard.
- Ooh, la, la!Copy !req
734. - Give me your hand.
- Roger. Oh!Copy !req
735. - Hold tight.
- I don't want to escape!Copy !req
736. - Oh, no! Aah!Copy !req
737. - Oh, gosh. I can't hold on!Copy !req
738. Oh, yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
739. Oh. I love this!
I'll tickle you till dawn, darling.Copy !req
740. There we go.
Ahf — Ahf —Copy !req
741. Oh, there. I wipe everything away there.
Tickly, tickly, tickly.Copy !req
742. Oh, darling, you love this. I know you do.Copy !req
743. But you don't say anything.
Why you don't say anything?Copy !req
744. You are a pillow biter, that's it.Copy !req
745. Hey, tickly, tickly, tickly.Copy !req
746. Oh, Baron, I — I must get back to Roger
before he notices I am headless.Copy !req
747. I quite understand.Copy !req
748. Darling,Copy !req
749. take me with you.Copy !req
750. - Back to Earth?
- Yes.Copy !req
751. Oh, yes!Copy !req
752. Uh… without your body?Copy !req
753. I thought you loved me for myself.Copy !req
754. Oh, I did. I-I mean, I do.Copy !req
755. - Of course I do. I-It's just, uh —
- We have to go!Copy !req
756. I think you're right, aren't you?
It's impossible.Copy !req
757. Here, take a lock of my hair.Copy !req
758. Just a lock, cocky, not the whole carpet.Copy !req
759. I shall treasure it always.Copy !req
760. The king!Copy !req
761. Oh! Oh! I must go! Oh!Copy !req
762. Au revoir, my dear Baron.Copy !req
763. Oh.Copy !req
764. Mmm!Copy !req
765. Oh, yes!Copy !req
766. I am coming, Roger.Copy !req
767. I'm coming!Copy !req
768. Darling, I am going to drive you
to China. Let it out —Copy !req
769. Oh, my God! Where is your head?Copy !req
770. No wonder you so quiet, eh?Copy !req
771. I'm too rough. I knock it off, huh?Copy !req
772. It's around here.
I'll find it, we play head-and-seek.Copy !req
773. Hold on. Darling —Copy !req
774. Oh, you play a trick, eh?
Darling, come out.Copy !req
775. You're not here. Oh…
Where are you? Where —Copy !req
776. You are with the baron.Copy !req
777. You are with that little man.Copy !req
778. You told me size don't make a difference!Copy !req
779. Oh, you puttana!Copy !req
780. No head to hit. That's it!Copy !req
781. I'll find you, Baron,
and then I'll kill you.Copy !req
782. Faster. Faster.Copy !req
783. I'll make a baron brochette.
Sybil, andiamo!Copy !req
784. - Fly!Copy !req
785. Come on, faster!Copy !req
786. We can't. Berthold can hardly move.Copy !req
787. Take his weights off.Copy !req
788. - I have!
- What?Copy !req
789. - He's old. He can't run anymore.
- Nonsense!Copy !req
790. He's just out of practice.Copy !req
791. - Come on, Berthold.Copy !req
792. Come on.Copy !req
793. You look for him. Nowhere to run to.Copy !req
794. Nowhere to hide for you, Baron.Copy !req
795. What are you looking at?
Look down there. That's it.Copy !req
796. Come on.Copy !req
797. There he is, Sybil! Down there!Copy !req
798. I got you now, Baron!Copy !req
799. No, wait! No, Sybil, wait!Copy !req
800. Whoa!Copy !req
801. There they are. Oh!Copy !req
802. Are you hungry, my darling?
Are you? Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
803. All right, you take the baron,
you take the bald one,Copy !req
804. and for you, my sweet, the little girl,
because you're my favorite.Copy !req
805. All right. Dinner is served.Copy !req
806. Teamwork, Sybil!Copy !req
807. - You go that way, I'll go this way.
- You're the last of your species!Copy !req
808. - Come on!
- Work with me, girls! Stay together!Copy !req
809. No, girls, don't split up on me now!Copy !req
810. Mayday!Copy !req
811. We're going down! Mayday!Copy !req
812. Sybil, don't desert me now!Copy !req
813. I love you, Sybil!Copy !req
814. I'm free. I'm free at last.
The body is dead.Copy !req
815. The body is dead. Long live the head.
It's finished! Finito! Heh-heh!Copy !req
816. Bye, body. Mmm. Ha-ha!Copy !req
817. I shall prove a head does not
need a body to survive.Copy !req
818. I am omnipotent. Ha-ha!Copy !req
819. Yes. Oh! Oh, no, I got an itch.Copy !req
820. Oh, no. Oh, no.Copy !req
821. Oh! Oh, no. No, no.Copy !req
822. - Well done, Sally, well done.
- Thanks.Copy !req
823. Baron?Copy !req
824. Baron M-Munchausen.Copy !req
825. How great to see you.Copy !req
826. - What are you doing here?
- Get off me.Copy !req
827. I-It's me, Berthold, your old servant.Copy !req
828. - Berthold, remember?
- Yes, yes, we've been through all that.Copy !req
829. Oh. Uh… where are we?Copy !req
830. On the moon.Copy !req
831. Oh, yeah. Same old baron, eh?Copy !req
832. - Can we go now?
- Get weaving.Copy !req
833. Hang on. Hang on.Copy !req
834. It's all coming back.Copy !req
835. I-I've been stuck here for over 20 years.Copy !req
836. Ever since you were last here on the moon.Copy !req
837. You abandoned me here. You swine.Copy !req
838. You toddled off
with that old queen of tartsCopy !req
839. and left me to rot in that parrot cage,
didn't you?Copy !req
840. And now you come back here
just because it suits you,Copy !req
841. after wasting half my life,Copy !req
842. and expect me to follow you
to the ends of the Earth.Copy !req
843. Yes.Copy !req
844. Oh, all right.Copy !req
845. Berthold,Copy !req
846. do you know where
the rest of the gang are?Copy !req
847. Not a clue.Copy !req
848. Oh! Ow.Copy !req
849. Oh…Copy !req
850. This is precisely the sort of thing
that no one ever believes.Copy !req
851. Right, Berthold.Copy !req
852. You go first.Copy !req
853. Then Sally.Copy !req
854. Careful.Copy !req
855. Whoa!Copy !req
856. Off you go.Copy !req
857. That's it.Copy !req
858. Finito.Copy !req
859. There's no more rope.Copy !req
860. - Mind out, I'm coming back up.
- Wait a moment.Copy !req
861. Here.Copy !req
862. Tie this to the end of it.Copy !req
863. Where'd you get this from?Copy !req
864. - I cut it from the top.
- From the top?Copy !req
865. Naturally.
Where else do you think I'd get it from?Copy !req
866. - But —
- Yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
867. Splice it to the end so that
we may continue our descent.Copy !req
868. Oh.Copy !req
869. Very clever. Great.Copy !req
870. Why didn't I think of that?Copy !req
871. That's why he's a baron and I'm a prole.Copy !req
872. We'll never rescue them now!Copy !req
873. Two and a half percent on the basic rate.Copy !req
874. - That's not enough.
- That's what I got to offer!Copy !req
875. … a separate agreement for overtime!Copy !req
876. Six percent!Copy !req
877. Yeah!Copy !req
878. Two and a half percent!
Take it or leave it!Copy !req
879. - Five percent, or no increased production.Copy !req
880. We want more! We want more!Copy !req
881. - We want more! We want more!Copy !req
882. I'm still in one piece.Copy !req
883. I think.Copy !req
884. - I can't imagine why.
- Oh.Copy !req
885. Our descent in what I take to be
the volcano of Mount EtnaCopy !req
886. should have been slowed
by a rising cushion of warm air.Copy !req
887. Damn thing seems to have gone out.Copy !req
888. Oh, no. Not more giants.Copy !req
889. Can I help you tiny mortals?Copy !req
890. I — I-I sincerely hope so.Copy !req
891. I'm, uh, Baron Munchausen.Copy !req
892. You may have heard of me.Copy !req
893. My friends and I
are looking for three men.Copy !req
894. One with exceptional eyesight,Copy !req
895. one with superb hearing
and powerful lungs,Copy !req
896. and one who is extremely large and strong.Copy !req
897. Oh, we're all extremely large
and strong here.Copy !req
898. I am Vulcan,Copy !req
899. the god.Copy !req
900. And, uh, these…Copy !req
901. are my giant employees,Copy !req
902. the cyclopes.Copy !req
903. Who even now are going back to work!Copy !req
904. I'm willing to supply arms and equipmentCopy !req
905. to anyone that's prepared
to pay the price.Copy !req
906. Greeks, Trojans, Romans, Huns.Copy !req
907. It's not my fault
that they're crazy enoughCopy !req
908. to slaughter each other, is it?Copy !req
909. You manky crew!Copy !req
910. Your go-slows don't impress me. I'm God!Copy !req
911. I've got all the time in the universe!Copy !req
912. Hear that? All the time, me!Copy !req
913. You know, in the old days,
the staff used to get paid, on the dot,Copy !req
914. every thousand years.Copy !req
915. This lot expect them every century. Hacks.Copy !req
916. Outrageous!Copy !req
917. What's this?Copy !req
918. Oh, this is our prototype.Copy !req
919. RX, uh, intercontinental,Copy !req
920. radar-sneaky,Copy !req
921. multiwarheaded nuclear missile.Copy !req
922. Ah.Copy !req
923. - What does it do?
- Do?Copy !req
924. Kills the enemy.Copy !req
925. - All the enemy?
- Aye, all of them.Copy !req
926. All their wives and all their children
and all their sheep and all their cattleCopy !req
927. and all their cats and dogs.Copy !req
928. All of them. All of them gone for good.Copy !req
929. That's horrible.Copy !req
930. Ah.Copy !req
931. Well, you see,Copy !req
932. the advantage is,Copy !req
933. you don't have to see
one single one of them die.Copy !req
934. You just sit comfortably,Copy !req
935. thousands of miles away
from the battlefield,Copy !req
936. and simply press the button.Copy !req
937. Well, where's the fun in that?Copy !req
938. Oh.Copy !req
939. We cater for all sorts here.Copy !req
940. You'd be surprised.Copy !req
941. Would you care for
a little fodder, perhaps?Copy !req
942. Mmm. Delicious.Copy !req
943. Ah, aye, it's not a bad drop of tea,Copy !req
944. as far as nectar of the gods go,
you'll understand.Copy !req
945. You can all stay for as long as you like.
It's nice to have fresh company for tea.Copy !req
946. Thank you. It'll be a pleasure.Copy !req
947. I'm sorry, but we have to go soon.Copy !req
948. We're in a hurry.Copy !req
949. Oh, here comes
my midget manservantCopy !req
950. with the petits fours.Copy !req
951. - Albrecht.
- Albrecht.Copy !req
952. Baron. Berthold.Copy !req
953. - What are you doing here?
- Looking for you.Copy !req
954. Haven't got the treasure —
Treasure anymore.Copy !req
955. I spent it —
I mean, I gave it all t-to charity.Copy !req
956. I don't want the treasure.Copy !req
957. Albrecht, this is Sally.Copy !req
958. - Sally, Albrecht.
- Hello.Copy !req
959. Hi.Copy !req
960. I want you to come
and help us fight the Turk again.Copy !req
961. Oh, no, I couldn't do that. No.Copy !req
962. Not since I've found myself.
No, no, I really —Copy !req
963. No, I never really wanted
to be big and strongCopy !req
964. and lug heavy things about.Copy !req
965. No, I now know
I want to be dainty and sensitive.Copy !req
966. They call me their midget down here.Copy !req
967. I love it. It's bliss.Copy !req
968. He's gone funny.Copy !req
969. Hello.Copy !req
970. Oh, my darling.Copy !req
971. Oh, my — My dearest. Oh.Copy !req
972. Oh!
Excuse me.Copy !req
973. May I introduce you to Baron MunchausenCopy !req
974. and his, uh, little friend
over there, Sally,Copy !req
975. and, uh… … Berthold.Copy !req
976. Ah. Ah.Copy !req
977. Um, this is, uh, Venus.Copy !req
978. - The goddess.Copy !req
979. My wife.Copy !req
980. Madam,Copy !req
981. I am overwhelmed.Copy !req
982. Oh…Copy !req
983. Oh, my — my love, my life.Copy !req
984. Alpha and the omega of my existence.Copy !req
985. I've got something here for you.Copy !req
986. A diamond.Copy !req
987. For you, my precious.Copy !req
988. You're so sweet.Copy !req
989. Another diamond.Copy !req
990. Madam,Copy !req
991. I am, alas, unable to offer youCopy !req
992. so splendid a gift,Copy !req
993. but allow me to say
that you excel in beautyCopy !req
994. even the magnificent
Catherine the Great of Russia…Copy !req
995. Here we go.Copy !req
996. … whose hand in marriage
I once had the honor of declining.Copy !req
997. - Baron, you flatter me.
- Not one jot, madam.Copy !req
998. Not one tittle.Copy !req
999. What a handsome…Copy !req
1000. mustache.Copy !req
1001. Shall we… dance?Copy !req
1002. Come and see the ballroom.Copy !req
1003. Come and see the ballroom.Copy !req
1004. Nice, isn't it?Copy !req
1005. We've just had it done!Copy !req
1006. Did you know that?Copy !req
1007. Uh…Copy !req
1008. I can dance. Here, watch this.Copy !req
1009. Sally, you can dance, can't you?Copy !req
1010. - No.Copy !req
1011. Thanks a lot.Copy !req
1012. Hey!Copy !req
1013. Stop!Copy !req
1014. Baron!Copy !req
1015. Can we go now?Copy !req
1016. Hello!Copy !req
1017. Hey!Copy !req
1018. Stop it.Copy !req
1019. Come down.Copy !req
1020. We've got to get back.Copy !req
1021. We've got to get back and save the town!Copy !req
1022. Please, Baron.Copy !req
1023. Please?Copy !req
1024. Don't fret.
The town is in no immediate danger.Copy !req
1025. The baron's kissing your wife.Copy !req
1026. - What?Copy !req
1027. I mean… what?Copy !req
1028. - You're a harlot!Copy !req
1029. Whore! Do you hear?Copy !req
1030. Whore, whore, whore!Copy !req
1031. That's enough of that, you strumpet.Copy !req
1032. No, wait, please.Copy !req
1033. - But, darling —
- Don't you "darling" me!Copy !req
1034. Do something. Save him.Copy !req
1035. Darling, don't be jealous!Copy !req
1036. Jealous?Copy !req
1037. - I'm not jealous. I'm —
- I-I-I'm sure I —Copy !req
1038. - Give him back to me!
- Oh, excuse me.Copy !req
1039. Please. Please.Copy !req
1040. You never let me have any friends!Copy !req
1041. I won't have you wiggling at philanderers,
you floozy!Copy !req
1042. - Floozy?
- Sir? Sir, I must assure you —Copy !req
1043. Floozy? I am a goddess!
I can do what I like!Copy !req
1044. And I am the god, so shut up!Copy !req
1045. - Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
- Put him down, you brute!Copy !req
1046. - Ungrateful mortal!
- Please don't. No. Oof!Copy !req
1047. You'll pay for this! Do you hear me?Copy !req
1048. I — I must insist
that the lady is blameless.Copy !req
1049. Please. Please. Please.Copy !req
1050. Please, put the baron down.Copy !req
1051. - Now, let's not be too hasty.
- He's always like that!Copy !req
1052. - No!Copy !req
1053. What have you done to them?Copy !req
1054. You small-minded, petit bourgeois —Copy !req
1055. Shut up, you trollop!Copy !req
1056. What have you done to the baron?Copy !req
1057. You want the baron?Copy !req
1058. You can have the baron.Copy !req
1059. Uh — No, thanks, it's okay.
I don't need him!Copy !req
1060. - Did you enjoy that?Copy !req
1061. Did I… excite you?Copy !req
1062. What? Huh?Copy !req
1063. Oh, damn. I can't swim.Copy !req
1064. What's happening?Copy !req
1065. You've got old again.Copy !req
1066. Well, what do you expect?Copy !req
1067. I've just been expelled
from a state of bliss.Copy !req
1068. And it's all your fault.Copy !req
1069. Where are we?Copy !req
1070. Answer me!Copy !req
1071. The most probable explanation,
if you're not an incurable skeptic,Copy !req
1072. is that we've been dropped
through the center of the worldCopy !req
1073. and come out on the other side,
somewhere in the South Seas.Copy !req
1074. That's miles away.Copy !req
1075. Oh, well done.Copy !req
1076. - I was happy in my volcano.
- So was I.Copy !req
1077. Look! An island!Copy !req
1078. - Is there a volcano on it?
- Oh, shut up about your poxy volcano!Copy !req
1079. I think there… is a volcano on it.Copy !req
1080. It's moving!Copy !req
1081. I spy with my little eye
something beginning with M.Copy !req
1082. It's a demon of the deep!Copy !req
1083. That begins with D, you klutz.Copy !req
1084. It's M, for monster.Copy !req
1085. Will it eat us?Copy !req
1086. With any luck.Copy !req
1087. Baron!Copy !req
1088. Baron?Copy !req
1089. Baron!Copy !req
1090. Quick, give me a hand.Copy !req
1091. He looks dead to me.Copy !req
1092. He can't be dead.Copy !req
1093. Come on, then.Copy !req
1094. Place him over here.Copy !req
1095. He doesn't look very perky, does he?Copy !req
1096. Is there a doctor in the fish?Copy !req
1097. No doctors.Copy !req
1098. - No doctors.Copy !req
1099. We've got to get him warm and dry.Copy !req
1100. - What's that noise?Copy !req
1101. It's… music.Copy !req
1102. That's not music.Copy !req
1103. Look.Copy !req
1104. There's a light.Copy !req
1105. - Come on.Copy !req
1106. This way. Careful.Copy !req
1107. Excuse me. Hello?Copy !req
1108. We need some help.Copy !req
1109. - Excuse me.Copy !req
1110. - We need some help.
- No doctors.Copy !req
1111. No doctors!Copy !req
1112. Do I hear the baron?Copy !req
1113. Eh?Copy !req
1114. Do I hear the baron?Copy !req
1115. No doctors.Copy !req
1116. Do I hear the baron?Copy !req
1117. I just said that.Copy !req
1118. Use your trumpet.Copy !req
1119. Adolphus. Gustavus.Copy !req
1120. Is it really you?Copy !req
1121. Baron. Berthold.Copy !req
1122. - Albrecht!
- The baron!Copy !req
1123. I don't believe it. It's a miracle.Copy !req
1124. Sally, this is Adolphus,Copy !req
1125. who used to be able to hit a bull's-eye
from halfway round the world.Copy !req
1126. And this is Gustavus,Copy !req
1127. who could blow over a whole forest
with just one breath.Copy !req
1128. Those were the days, eh?Copy !req
1129. When we were young and alive.Copy !req
1130. How do you mean?Copy !req
1131. It's no good fighting it.Copy !req
1132. - We're not dead.
- You have to accept it.Copy !req
1133. We're all dead here.Copy !req
1134. This is hell.Copy !req
1135. Heaven.Copy !req
1136. - Hell!
- Heaven!Copy !req
1137. Don't be stupid.Copy !req
1138. Well, sit down, relax. Have a game.Copy !req
1139. You're dead for a very long time.Copy !req
1140. Come on, come on, sit down.Copy !req
1141. Let's have a nice game, eh?Copy !req
1142. What are you doing?Copy !req
1143. You're giving up, aren't you?Copy !req
1144. Well, you can't give up. I won't let you.Copy !req
1145. Go away. Clear off.Copy !req
1146. What about Rose and DaisyCopy !req
1147. and my father and all the others?Copy !req
1148. You promised to help them.Copy !req
1149. They are perfectly safe.Copy !req
1150. They can look after themselves.Copy !req
1151. Besides, there are more important things.Copy !req
1152. Such as?Copy !req
1153. Well…Copy !req
1154. You horrible little brat!Copy !req
1155. Can't you let me die in peace
once in a while?Copy !req
1156. Huh?Copy !req
1157. What the…Copy !req
1158. Ha!Copy !req
1159. Bucephalus.Copy !req
1160. My Bucephalus.Copy !req
1161. He must have heard me shouting.Copy !req
1162. This is a — a good omen, what?Copy !req
1163. Oh — Oh, yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1164. Prepare a rowing boat
and be ready to leave.Copy !req
1165. Come on, boy.Copy !req
1166. I have learned from experienceCopy !req
1167. that a modicum of snuff
can be most efficacious.Copy !req
1168. Ahchoo!Copy !req
1169. I'll never eat fish again.Copy !req
1170. Wh — Where's the baron?Copy !req
1171. Baron?Copy !req
1172. Baron!Copy !req
1173. Baron!Copy !req
1174. Baron?Copy !req
1175. Baron!Copy !req
1176. Baron, where are you?Copy !req
1177. Baron?Copy !req
1178. Huh?Copy !req
1179. Ha! Ha-ha!Copy !req
1180. - It's the baron!
- The baron!Copy !req
1181. Well, come on.Copy !req
1182. I can't keep this up forever.Copy !req
1183. Look! The town!Copy !req
1184. - We're here!Copy !req
1185. - Hey, look!Copy !req
1186. Yes, and the flag's still flying.Copy !req
1187. I told you there was nothing
to worry about.Copy !req
1188. Oh, my God, it's the sultan's army.Copy !req
1189. Quick! Back in the fish!Copy !req
1190. They're inviting us to defeat them.Copy !req
1191. We must oblige them.Copy !req
1192. - On the count of three.Copy !req
1193. Gustavus, blow them back to Asia Minor.Copy !req
1194. Adolphus, find the sultan and shoot him.Copy !req
1195. Albrecht, row for the shore.Copy !req
1196. Berthold, make yourself useful.Copy !req
1197. One, two, three!Copy !req
1198. Couldn't make that four, could you?Copy !req
1199. We're going down! We're going down!Copy !req
1200. Abandon ship!Copy !req
1201. - Abandon ship.Copy !req
1202. I think the ship's abandoning us, mate.Copy !req
1203. Hup! Hup!Copy !req
1204. Come! Come!Copy !req
1205. I still can't swim.Copy !req
1206. - This is absolutely dreadful.
- It's hopeless.Copy !req
1207. I've never before been
in such a disastrous rout.Copy !req
1208. I'm usually on the winning side.Copy !req
1209. If you weren't so competitive,
you wouldn't get so upset.Copy !req
1210. Albrecht's useless.Copy !req
1211. We might as well give up now.Copy !req
1212. You mustn't say that. Not you.Copy !req
1213. Now, if we begin attacking
in two directions simultaneously,Copy !req
1214. we confound surprise with confusion.Copy !req
1215. Albrecht and Gustavus will provide
the major themes as per to the battle,Copy !req
1216. - while Adolphus and Berthold —
- Baron.Copy !req
1217. Don't interrupt.Copy !req
1218. What is it?Copy !req
1219. - This isn't going to work.
- What do you mean?Copy !req
1220. They're all old and tired now.Copy !req
1221. - It isn't like it used to be.Copy !req
1222. Don't you see?Copy !req
1223. Where are you going?Copy !req
1224. - To give myself up.
- What?Copy !req
1225. I gave my word that I would
raise the siege and save the town,Copy !req
1226. and I gathered you all here
for that purpose.Copy !req
1227. If you want to see Baron Munchausen again,Copy !req
1228. you'd better do something about it.Copy !req
1229. You can't give yourself up.Copy !req
1230. They might kill you.Copy !req
1231. And then we'll have spent all that time
in that smelly fish for nothing.Copy !req
1232. Bah.Copy !req
1233. So it's agreed.Copy !req
1234. Friday the 28th, you surrender.Copy !req
1235. - That's three weeks from tomorrow.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
1236. We can fix the details later.Copy !req
1237. No, no, no, no. You surrender.Copy !req
1238. With respect, Sultan,
we've been through all this.Copy !req
1239. You surrender.Copy !req
1240. But we're winning.Copy !req
1241. Uh, we surrendered last time.Copy !req
1242. - So?
- So now it's your turn.Copy !req
1243. Ah.Copy !req
1244. What about the virgins?Copy !req
1245. Please, forget the virgins.Copy !req
1246. We're out of virgins.Copy !req
1247. Let us instead concentrate
on reaching a rational,Copy !req
1248. sensible and civilized agreement,Copy !req
1249. which will guarantee a world
fit for science, progress and —Copy !req
1250. But not Baron Munchausen.Copy !req
1251. Baron!Copy !req
1252. You. You old lunatic.Copy !req
1253. - I'm afraid so.
- Help, guards!Copy !req
1254. Murder! Murder!Copy !req
1255. Who let this man into my tent?Copy !req
1256. Sultan, if you are still interested
in my head,Copy !req
1257. it's yours.Copy !req
1258. I'm tired of it.Copy !req
1259. Send for the executioner!Copy !req
1260. So, Mr. Jackson, still the rational man?Copy !req
1261. How many people have perished
in your logical little war?Copy !req
1262. There are certain rules, sir,
to the proper conduct of living.Copy !req
1263. We cannot fly to the moon.Copy !req
1264. We cannot defy death.Copy !req
1265. We must face the facts.Copy !req
1266. Not the folly of fantasists like you,
who do not live in the real worldCopy !req
1267. and who consequently
come to a very sticky end.Copy !req
1268. Have you any famous last words?Copy !req
1269. Not yet.Copy !req
1270. "Not yet"? Is that famous?Copy !req
1271. The man's a buffoon.Copy !req
1272. Executioner…Copy !req
1273. execute.Copy !req
1274. There you go.Copy !req
1275. Oh…Copy !req
1276. - Now!Copy !req
1277. - Ah!Copy !req
1278. - Aye.Copy !req
1279. - He did it!Copy !req
1280. - Bring him back to me!Copy !req
1281. - General, stop that man!
- Hey!Copy !req
1282. - Ah!Copy !req
1283. I knew we could do it. All together, now.Copy !req
1284. - Steady!Copy !req
1285. Steady.Copy !req
1286. Well blown, Gustavus!Copy !req
1287. - They're coming.
- Go on, go on.Copy !req
1288. Hurry, hurry!Copy !req
1289. Quickly, now!Copy !req
1290. Aha!Copy !req
1291. Come on! Come on!Copy !req
1292. - Oh.Copy !req
1293. Berthold, run.Copy !req
1294. Ugh. Huh?Copy !req
1295. Ow! Ah!Copy !req
1296. Ow!Copy !req
1297. Aah!Copy !req
1298. Damn it, man. Make yourself useful.
I can't do everything.Copy !req
1299. Oh!Copy !req
1300. - This way!
- Oh. Trouble!Copy !req
1301. Aah!Copy !req
1302. That's the way! Bravo!Copy !req
1303. Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
1304. - Hey, hey.Copy !req
1305. - Hey.Copy !req
1306. - Ha-ha! Hey!Copy !req
1307. Aah!Copy !req
1308. Watch it!Copy !req
1309. Gently this time.Copy !req
1310. - Gently.Copy !req
1311. Oh, help! Oh!Copy !req
1312. Oh, help!Copy !req
1313. Aha!Copy !req
1314. Hooray! Ha-ha!Copy !req
1315. We did it. We did it!Copy !req
1316. Hooray! Hooray!Copy !req
1317. Look! They don't believe it!Copy !req
1318. We've won! We've won!Copy !req
1319. We beat them! We beat them!Copy !req
1320. Hey-hey!Copy !req
1321. - Yippee! They've gone!Copy !req
1322. Good riddance, and don't come back!Copy !req
1323. - We've won!
- But of course!Copy !req
1324. Sally! Sally!Copy !req
1325. Oh, the joy!Copy !req
1326. Ah!Copy !req
1327. - Happy day!Copy !req
1328. Put me down. Put me down.Copy !req
1329. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
1330. He's up there! In the church tower!Copy !req
1331. - What is it?Copy !req
1332. - There he is!
- Shoot him!Copy !req
1333. Oh, damn.Copy !req
1334. Bring a doctor! Quickly!Copy !req
1335. - Fetch a doctor!
- Sally.Copy !req
1336. Don't leave me, Baron. Please.Copy !req
1337. Don't leave me.Copy !req
1338. - Get off him!
- Yes, yes.Copy !req
1339. Give him some air.Copy !req
1340. Oh, here is the doctor.Copy !req
1341. Oh! Oh, Sally. Sally.Copy !req
1342. - It's all right. It's all right.
- Take care of Sally.Copy !req
1343. No doctors.Copy !req
1344. No doctors.Copy !req
1345. No! No!Copy !req
1346. - Get away!
- Stop!Copy !req
1347. Leave him alone!Copy !req
1348. Sally!Copy !req
1349. - No!
- Sally, please — Sally's having a fit!Copy !req
1350. Get away! Get away!Copy !req
1351. Leave him alone!Copy !req
1352. Stop it.Copy !req
1353. Please!Copy !req
1354. He's dead.Copy !req
1355. And that was
only one of the many occasionsCopy !req
1356. on which I met my death,Copy !req
1357. an experience which I don't
hesitate strongly to recommend.Copy !req
1358. And so, with the help
of my inestimable servants,Copy !req
1359. I defeated the Turks and saved the day.Copy !req
1360. And from that time forth,Copy !req
1361. everyone, uh, who had a talent for itCopy !req
1362. lived happily ever after.Copy !req
1363. Ah!Copy !req
1364. Stop this nonsense at once!Copy !req
1365. You, sir, are under arrestCopy !req
1366. for spreading ridiculous tales
at a time of great dangerCopy !req
1367. when the enemy is at the gate.Copy !req
1368. - Arrest him.Copy !req
1369. Open the gates.Copy !req
1370. Hey.Copy !req
1371. I order you to arrest that man at once.Copy !req
1372. Am I or am I not
the elected representative?Copy !req
1373. - Arrest him!
- Open the gates!Copy !req
1374. This way!Copy !req
1375. Come on!Copy !req
1376. - Do not open the gate!Copy !req
1377. The Turk is outside,
and we are not about to surrender.Copy !req
1378. Open the gates!Copy !req
1379. Open the gates!Copy !req
1380. Come on, dear ladies!Copy !req
1381. Forward the players!Copy !req
1382. Do not open the gate!Copy !req
1383. Full on, mates. Move along.
Keep up. Steady as you go.Copy !req
1384. Come back! I'm warning you!
Do not open those gates!Copy !req
1385. This way!Copy !req
1386. Anyone who opens those gates
is guilty of treason!Copy !req
1387. - Follow me!
- Yeah!Copy !req
1388. This way, my friends!Copy !req
1389. Stop!Copy !req
1390. The gates will remain closed!Copy !req
1391. Open the gates.Copy !req
1392. Open the gates!Copy !req
1393. Shoot anyone who disobeys my orders.Copy !req
1394. - Ready! Take aim!Copy !req
1395. Hold your ground. Hold your ground.Copy !req
1396. Open the gates, dear friends,
and then seize the day.Copy !req
1397. N-No!Copy !req
1398. Or close our minds up
with inventions, death and fear.Copy !req
1399. There's nothing so destroys a man
as ignorant dullness and conformity.Copy !req
1400. Grasp for the mantle. Grasp the —Copy !req
1401. No, no, no. Quite wrong.Copy !req
1402. Open the gates!Copy !req
1403. - Shoot them!Copy !req
1404. Have I not made myself clear?Copy !req
1405. Shoot these people at once!Copy !req
1406. Aye, so… it's treason, is it?Copy !req
1407. Treason!Copy !req
1408. Right! You're all under arrest!Copy !req
1409. All of you!Copy !req
1410. - Get inside —Copy !req
1411. Get inside my office now!Copy !req
1412. Baron!Copy !req
1413. Bucephalus. My Bucephalus.Copy !req
1414. Good boy, good boy.Copy !req
1415. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
1416. Beautiful ladies.Copy !req
1417. Beautiful ladies.Copy !req
1418. It wasn't just a story, was it?Copy !req