1. - Ready, Kage?
- Ready.Copy !req
2. Let's do this.Copy !req
3. Fatty.Copy !req
4. Check. Uggh.Copy !req
5. Bean and cheese burrito.Copy !req
6. Bean and chee—Copy !req
7. Tenacious sound check initiated.Copy !req
8. Engage Kage!Copy !req
9. Aah!Copy !req
10. Ha ha ha ha ha! High-five!Copy !req
11. Hnnh!Copy !req
12. OK.Copy !req
13. Two, three...Copy !req
14. Aaaah!Copy !req
15. This place is awesome.Copy !req
16. Gold man. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
17. Whoa!Copy !req
18. Ohhh! Oh, man!Copy !req
19. - Thank you.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
20. OK, that was
the best thing I have ever seen.Copy !req
21. - Who are you?
- The name's Kyle Gass.Copy !req
22. Kyle Gass.Copy !req
23. Dude, will you just teach me
that one thing that you did?Copy !req
24. Where you're like, playing—Copy !req
25. I'm not giving
free guitar lessons today.Copy !req
26. Why don't you stand over there?Copy !req
27. Right here?Copy !req
28. You're awesome.Copy !req
29. This next piece
is by Johann Sebastian Bach—Copy !req
30. - Watch this.
- And it's entitled...Copy !req
31. Bourrée in E Minor.Copy !req
32. Check this out,
this guy's insane.Copy !req
33. Man, are you guys stupid.Copy !req
34. Don't you know genius
when you see it?Copy !req
35. Damn!Copy !req
36. Anyway.Copy !req
37. My name's JB.Copy !req
38. My name's JB.Copy !req
39. Just rolled into town.Copy !req
40. - Would you give me some space?
- Yeah.Copy !req
41. You're kinda cramping my style.Copy !req
42. Oh, dude, I'm sorry.Copy !req
43. And you're driving
away my crowd.Copy !req
44. If you just move back,
like I asked you earlier...Copy !req
45. I think things
are going to be a lot better.Copy !req
46. - OK. Fine. Sorry.
- Thanks.Copy !req
47. Yeah!Copy !req
48. Dudes!Copy !req
49. That was bad-ass.Copy !req
50. You guys are like electric dynamite.Copy !req
51. What's the name of your band?Copy !req
52. We're not a band. They calls
me KG Solo Man Five Thousand...Copy !req
53. and I aims to keep it that way.Copy !req
54. - Aah!
- I'm outta here.Copy !req
55. This place is tapped.Copy !req
56. Jeez Louise, papa cheese.Copy !req
57. I know. It's OK.Copy !req
58. It's just part of his genius.Copy !req
59. Well. What do we 'ave 'ere?Copy !req
60. My little snuggles.Copy !req
61. - Ha ha ha!
- I spy a stinking, filthy fag!Copy !req
62. Snivelling, boo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
63. Like a wee baby!Copy !req
64. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
65. He does look like a fucking baby.Copy !req
66. Oh! Ha ha. Wee baby.Copy !req
67. Listen, fellas. I don't
wanna fight. So if you don't...Copy !req
68. Aaaah!Copy !req
69. Look at this. What is it?Copy !req
70. Needs a popping, my brother.Copy !req
71. - Ooh!
- Hey, no. Give me that back.Copy !req
72. That's my lucky guitar pick.Copy !req
73. That's my lucky guitar pick. Ow!Copy !req
74. Ah! Argh! Ow!Copy !req
75. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
76. Hey! Okay! Let's go!Copy !req
77. Woo-hoo! Woo-hoo! Ha ha ha!Copy !req
78. Heh heh heh! Ha ha ha!Copy !req
79. Ohh...Copy !req
80. That's right, run.Copy !req
81. Unless you want
some more of this! Aah!Copy !req
82. You saved me.Copy !req
83. Aah, that's all right.Copy !req
84. They had it coming.Copy !req
85. How can I repay you?Copy !req
86. We'll work something out.Copy !req
87. This place is futuristic.Copy !req
88. Yeah, this is my pad, here.
Number four.Copy !req
89. Not hard to remember.
Just think, "My door is four."Copy !req
90. Pretty cool.Copy !req
91. Wow. Nice pad.Copy !req
92. You got this place all to yourself?Copy !req
93. Yeah. I try to keep it simple.Copy !req
94. This is where I stay when I write.Copy !req
95. It's quite, uh, minimalist.Copy !req
96. I don't like anything to get in
the way of my creative juices.Copy !req
97. Cool.Copy !req
98. I'm working on my solo album
right now.Copy !req
99. Aaah.Copy !req
100. Yeah, Kyle Gass Project.Copy !req
101. It's got some pretty, uh,
breakthrough shit on it.Copy !req
102. Trying to keep it
on the hush-hush, though.Copy !req
103. Man, if you need a singer,
I am so there.Copy !req
104. Check it out.Copy !req
105. It's a Ronnie James Dio song.Copy !req
106. Yeah. I know.Copy !req
107. I helped write it.Copy !req
108. I jam with him all the time.Copy !req
109. No way!Copy !req
110. - You do not know Dio!
- Sure.Copy !req
111. I know all the dudes
from Sabbath.Copy !req
112. - Dude?
- Mm?Copy !req
113. Is there any way that
maybe I could audition...Copy !req
114. to be in the Kyle Gass Project?Copy !req
115. Hm. Maybe.Copy !req
116. Oh ho ho ho!Copy !req
117. You gotta get your chops up,
though...Copy !req
118. if you wanna shred
with the big dogs, son.Copy !req
119. You got a lot to learn.Copy !req
120. Will you teach me your ways?Copy !req
121. I will teach you.Copy !req
122. Go ahead and sleep
on the power couch.Copy !req
123. Your training begins tomorrow.Copy !req
124. At the crack of noon!Copy !req
125. Um—Copy !req
126. Lesson number one.Copy !req
127. Power slide.Copy !req
128. It's just slidin' on your knees.Copy !req
129. Is it?Copy !req
130. Or is it the single
most powerful stage move...Copy !req
131. in any rocker's arsenal?Copy !req
132. Oh.Copy !req
133. Gimme a power slide.
Full throttle.Copy !req
134. No fear.Copy !req
135. I'll give you a power slide.Copy !req
136. - How'd that feel?
- Really good.Copy !req
137. How did it look?Copy !req
138. Amazing...Copy !req
139. Iy bad.Copy !req
140. Hey, what's this check
for 200 bucks?Copy !req
141. Oh, gimme that.Copy !req
142. That's a royalty check.Copy !req
143. Why's it say,
"l love you, pumpkin" on it?Copy !req
144. Well, um, it's the name
of a song.Copy !req
145. Big hit in Canada.Copy !req
146. Big hit in Canada.Copy !req
147. Get back to work.Copy !req
148. Whoa, check out that superfox!Copy !req
149. Do you think you can
handle a woman like that?Copy !req
150. I think so.Copy !req
151. Well, you'd better know so...Copy !req
152. 'cause there's gonna be
ten times hotter ones...Copy !req
153. backstage at the Kyle Gass Project.Copy !req
154. Really?Copy !req
155. Sex is a crucial component
to the Kyle Gass Project.Copy !req
156. Now drop
and give me one cock push-up.Copy !req
157. What's a cock push-up?Copy !req
158. What's a cock push-up?Copy !req
159. A cock push-up, my friend, is
where you lay on your stomach...Copy !req
160. and lift yourself off the ground
with nuthin' but your boner.Copy !req
161. No problem.Copy !req
162. The cock is a muscle.Copy !req
163. You gotta learn how to flex it.Copy !req
164. From now on, I want you to do
one cock push-up a day...Copy !req
165. every day.Copy !req
166. - It hurts my cock.
- Keep at it. You never know...Copy !req
167. when you'll need to fuck your way
out of a tight situation.Copy !req
168. Whoo!Copy !req
169. Aaah.Copy !req
170. Yeah.Copy !req
171. Oh oh oh, yeah!Copy !req
172. I fucking did it!Copy !req
173. Oh, I did it!Copy !req
174. Hey. Dude, you reached KG.Copy !req
175. You know what to do. Uhhh.Copy !req
176. Dude, pick up.Copy !req
177. Dude, it's Jables. Pick up, man.Copy !req
178. - Yeah.
- Yeah! Ha ha ha!Copy !req
179. I did it, man. Check it out.Copy !req
180. You hear that?Copy !req
181. The training is working, man.Copy !req
182. I made ten whole bucks
with my rock!Copy !req
183. Good. Go score me a dime bag.Copy !req
184. A what?Copy !req
185. Ten dollars' worth of weed.Copy !req
186. Now, listen.
Go down to Wake & Bake Pizza...Copy !req
187. Ask for Jojo.Copy !req
188. Tell him you want
the Bob Marley extra crispy.Copy !req
189. He'll know
what you're talking about.Copy !req
190. All right, dude. Roger that.Copy !req
191. One extra crispy coming up!Copy !req
192. Stone Age man
now had the muscle power...Copy !req
193. and mental power necessary
to evolve to new heights.Copy !req
194. He then found the means
to harness...Copy !req
195. an even greater energy source.Copy !req
196. The animals and creatures around him.Copy !req
197. Hmm.Copy !req
198. Animal power would give him the food...Copy !req
199. and transportation, the clothing
and entertainment...Copy !req
200. - needed for his long journey.
- Dude, turn it to Channel 14.Copy !req
201. In Search of Sasquatch is on.Copy !req
202. When you are able to snatch
this remote from my hand...Copy !req
203. you will be ready to choose
the channels we watch.Copy !req
204. Try to snatch it.Copy !req
205. Aah, fuck!Copy !req
206. Patience, young grass smoker.
Patience.Copy !req
207. Welcome to the gig simulator.Copy !req
208. If you pass this test,
your training is complete.Copy !req
209. You will be ready to audition
for the KGP.Copy !req
210. The what?Copy !req
211. Kyle Gass Project?Copy !req
212. Oh, right, right.Copy !req
213. Hold on.Copy !req
214. Aaah.Copy !req
215. Here's your 'za. That'll be 15.50.Copy !req
216. - Cool.
- Hey.Copy !req
217. Aren't you the guitar guy
from the boardwalk?Copy !req
218. - Yeah.
- I'm Lee.Copy !req
219. - Kage.
- Whoa!Copy !req
220. You guys puttin' on a concert?
Can I watch?Copy !req
221. - Half off the pie?
- Dealio.Copy !req
222. Right on. Come on in.Copy !req
223. Hu...Copy !req
224. Um... I don't know
if that's such a good idea, KG.Copy !req
225. Uh, I'd rather not do this
in front of strangers.Copy !req
226. What do you think
it's going to be like...Copy !req
227. when we play the Coliseum?Copy !req
228. No strangers allowed?Copy !req
229. OK.Copy !req
230. Let the simulation begin.Copy !req
231. Uh—Ha ha. All right.Copy !req
232. So, should I sing a song?Copy !req
233. Hey, sing something, douchebag!Copy !req
234. OK.Copy !req
235. You know what? I wanna start
off—offstage and come out...Copy !req
236. 'cause that's the way
I like, imagine it.Copy !req
237. Just—just come
in from the wings.Copy !req
238. Ladies and gentlemen,
the Kyle Gass Project!Copy !req
239. Aaah!Copy !req
240. Hey, what's up? I'm JB
from the Kyle Gass Project.Copy !req
241. Get on with it, dumb shit.Copy !req
242. All right, Kage,
let's do it, man. Two, three.Copy !req
243. Get off the stage,
you stupid dillweed.Copy !req
244. Boo!Copy !req
245. Boo! Boo!Copy !req
246. Boooo!Copy !req
247. Go back to Kickapoo,
you fat-ass momma's boy!Copy !req
248. Boo!Copy !req
249. - Boo!
- Ow! Aah!Copy !req
250. - Boo!
- Urgh.Copy !req
251. Hey, that's really...Copy !req
252. - Hey! You suck!
- You suck! Suck! Suck!Copy !req
253. Jesus. You call that music?Copy !req
254. You're nothing but a mistake.Copy !req
255. I should have worn a condom.Copy !req
256. I was not a mistake.Copy !req
257. Power slide.Copy !req
258. Aaagh! Aaah, aaah!Copy !req
259. - He's had enough. Turn it off.
- Aagh. Aaaah!Copy !req
260. Lights!Copy !req
261. - Oooh.
- Hey, hey, it's OK.Copy !req
262. - I suck!
- You don't suck.Copy !req
263. I broke my guitar!Copy !req
264. Monster mash!Copy !req
265. Nobody passes the gig simulator
on the first time.Copy !req
266. Not even this guy.Copy !req
267. You didn't?Copy !req
268. But then you did pass it later?Copy !req
269. I passed later, but, you know,
took me a couple of tries.Copy !req
270. - Oh, you did? I was doing...
- You know you can do it.Copy !req
271. - It was going pretty good.
- Right.Copy !req
272. Until I got—until I got to the—Copy !req
273. When I messed up on that thing.Copy !req
274. Let's clean this place up.
What do you say?Copy !req
275. And then we'll do bongloads
and play Maximum Overthruster.Copy !req
276. - Hey, dude, it's KG.
- Do some bongloads?Copy !req
277. You know what to do. Uhhh.Copy !req
278. Hi, pumpkin. It's your mother.Copy !req
279. Your father and I have decided...Copy !req
280. that 15 years of trying to be a famous
musician is long enough.Copy !req
281. So I'm sorry to say...Copy !req
282. we aren't going to be sending
you any more rent checks.Copy !req
283. It's time to get a real job.Copy !req
284. I love you, pumpki—Copy !req
285. "l love you, pumpkin"?Copy !req
286. Those weren't royalty checks.Copy !req
287. I can't believe this machine, it's—Copy !req
288. Let's watch TV, you wanna?Copy !req
289. You lied to me.Copy !req
290. - You don't know Dio.
- Hey!Copy !req
291. I think that In Search
of Sasquatch is on.Copy !req
292. - Hold on.
- Give me that fucking remote.Copy !req
293. No! Leave it!Copy !req
294. No!Copy !req
295. Aaah!Copy !req
296. - Ohhh!
- Aaah!Copy !req
297. Who are you?Copy !req
298. Here's your lunch, pumpkin.Copy !req
299. Thanks, Mom.Copy !req
300. Oh! Mwah!Copy !req
301. I love you, pumpkin.Copy !req
302. - Hey, pumpkin!
- Ha ha ha!Copy !req
303. Hah! What's with the hat, dude?Copy !req
304. Your mom sew that for you?
Ha ha ha!Copy !req
305. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
306. - Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
307. Your mom shine that for you
when you go to bed?Copy !req
308. - Cue ball!
- Science experiment gone wrong!Copy !req
309. - Freakazoid!
- Ha ha ha!Copy !req
310. I'm fucking outta here.Copy !req
311. Don't walk away from me!Copy !req
312. I fucking cleaned your apartment, man.Copy !req
313. What are you doin'?Copy !req
314. Why are you packing?Copy !req
315. I have to go back to my mom and dad's.Copy !req
316. I'm broke.Copy !req
317. I already spent the last rent check.Copy !req
318. Oh, you fucking dick!Copy !req
319. What'd you spend the money on? Huh?Copy !req
320. An official professor bullshit degree?Copy !req
321. What'd you spend the rent on?Copy !req
322. I got that for you.Copy !req
323. Stop packing, dude.Copy !req
324. We're gonna pay the rent...Copy !req
325. with our rock.Copy !req
326. - We are?
- Yeah.Copy !req
327. But we're not gonna be called
the Kyle Gass Project.Copy !req
328. From now on...Copy !req
329. we will be known as Tenac.Copy !req
330. Tenac?Copy !req
331. What's that?Copy !req
332. It's a sign.Copy !req
333. A legacy.Copy !req
334. I've had this birthmark since I was born.Copy !req
335. I looked it up in the dictionary.Copy !req
336. It's not in there.Copy !req
337. I never knew what the hell it meant.Copy !req
338. Till now.Copy !req
339. It's the name of our fuckin' band, dude.Copy !req
340. I have ass-mark too.Copy !req
341. You guys!Copy !req
342. Look!Copy !req
343. But thaaaaat's my life.Copy !req
344. All right.Copy !req
345. Neil Hamburger,
everybody, Neil Hamburger.Copy !req
346. Funny stuff.Copy !req
347. Uh, the next band
asked me to read this.Copy !req
348. "Since the beginning of time...Copy !req
349. "twas written in the stones
that one day, a band would come."Copy !req
350. "Well, that band has come...Copy !req
351. and now they're here
to come again...Copy !req
352. in your ear-pussies."Copy !req
353. Ladies and gentlemen,
Tenacious D.Copy !req
354. That was awesome,
the way you read that.Copy !req
355. Kage. Kage?Copy !req
356. Don't forget
to fucking bring the thunder.Copy !req
357. - OK.
- Hey, what's up?Copy !req
358. - OK.
- Hey, what's up?Copy !req
359. We're Tenacious D
and this is our first concert ever...Copy !req
360. so it's kinda historical.Copy !req
361. And, um, we wrote this song that
gives you a little taste...Copy !req
362. of, like, the history of the band.Copy !req
363. Let's fucking do it, Kage, go!Copy !req
364. This is a song called
The History of Tenacious D.Copy !req
365. And it's not just
a list of bullshit...Copy !req
366. that we've done in the past.Copy !req
367. It's a chronicling of our rise.Copy !req
368. To power!Copy !req
369. Yeah!Copy !req
370. Let's go!Copy !req
371. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
372. - Yeah!
- Yeah!Copy !req
373. You guys, wait for me outside.Copy !req
374. I'm gonna go talk to the big cheese.Copy !req
375. Good call.Copy !req
376. So?Copy !req
377. What'd you think?Copy !req
378. It was OK.Copy !req
379. - It was OK?
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
380. You were OK. We were kick-ass.Copy !req
381. And we're gonna totally win
that money next week...Copy !req
382. at the open mic contest.Copy !req
383. Well, good luck.Copy !req
384. You know there's a lot
of stiff competition, so...Copy !req
385. you might wanna think about
writing some new material.Copy !req
386. That was amazing. You guys
changed people's lives tonight.Copy !req
387. I know, we were so awesome.Copy !req
388. Yeah, it was awesome.
Compared to bullshit.Copy !req
389. But compared to the greats?Copy !req
390. To Zeppelin? To the Beatles?
To fucking Beethoven?Copy !req
391. True. We were kick-ass.Copy !req
392. But if the D's gonna
win that prize money...Copy !req
393. we're gonna have to write
a fucking masterpiece!Copy !req
394. Are you with me?Copy !req
395. Totally.Copy !req
396. Power hug.Copy !req
397. Masterpiece.Copy !req
398. Do it!Copy !req
399. All right,
no more fucking around.Copy !req
400. Masterpiece is right in there.Copy !req
401. All we have to do is step
into that magic circle...Copy !req
402. and the masterpiece is ours.Copy !req
403. Are you ready?Copy !req
404. Are you ready
to write a fucking masterpiece?Copy !req
405. - 'Cause I sure the fuck am.
- Yeah!Copy !req
406. Let's go!Copy !req
407. What are you doing?
Go. Go. Play something.Copy !req
408. Go fast. The magic only lasts a second.Copy !req
409. No, don't play fast.
I said start fast.Copy !req
410. But keep going, yes.Copy !req
411. Try to make it prettier.
Prettier, prettier. Prettier.Copy !req
412. Stop judging yourself,
you're judging yourself.Copy !req
413. That's why that riff sucks.Copy !req
414. No fucking mental blocks.
Release the...Copy !req
415. That's all right.Copy !req
416. Now, can you play a little
higher, higher, higher up?Copy !req
417. Higher notes, higher notes,
higher notes, higher notes.Copy !req
418. Higher notes, higher notes,
can you play any higher notes?Copy !req
419. Sorry, I didn't mean to yell.Copy !req
420. I'm not looking for anything specific...Copy !req
421. but that's definitely
the wrong part of the cosmos.Copy !req
422. I want it over here, in the
newer, hotter part. Like—Copy !req
423. What are you doing?
Were we recording?Copy !req
424. Press record. Press record.Copy !req
425. Oh, God damn it, it's too late!Copy !req
426. - Aah. Fu—
- God damn it, Kyle, we had it.Copy !req
427. We were right there in it
and you were too slow.Copy !req
428. You didn't remember to do shit,
you didn't do what I told you...Copy !req
429. and things got crossed,
chakras were fucking exploded.Copy !req
430. If we're gonna do this thing right...Copy !req
431. you gotta do what I tell you to do!Copy !req
432. Daaah! Fa-gaah!Copy !req
433. I wanna write a masterpiece.Copy !req
434. I know, dude. So do l.Copy !req
435. It's all right.Copy !req
436. We've got writers' block,
it happens to the best of 'em.Copy !req
437. I mean, look at these guys.Copy !req
438. AC/DC. Van Halen.Copy !req
439. The Who!Copy !req
440. Why are you guys so awesome?Copy !req
441. What do you have
that we don't have?Copy !req
442. Well, they all use
the same guitar pick.Copy !req
443. What?Copy !req
444. Looks like they all use
the same guitar pick.Copy !req
445. Holy shitballs.Copy !req
446. Too many picks.Copy !req
447. Let's see.Copy !req
448. I don't think they have it.Copy !req
449. Let's talk to the dude. We might
have to special order it.Copy !req
450. Marcus, I need a price check
on Ernie Ball amp caster stat.Copy !req
451. Just be a second.Copy !req
452. Can I help you gentlemen?Copy !req
453. Yeah, we're looking for
a guitar pick like this one.Copy !req
454. How'd you hear about this?Copy !req
455. What did Papardello tell you?Copy !req
456. Uh—Ahem. We just noticed
that all these musicians...Copy !req
457. are using the same guitar pick—Copy !req
458. Okay ka-ssh!Copy !req
459. Jerry, do me a favor, uh, ring up
these amp casters for me.Copy !req
460. Thank you, my man.Copy !req
461. In here.Copy !req
462. We can talk in here.Copy !req
463. What you seek...Copy !req
464. is the Pick...Copy !req
465. of Destiny.Copy !req
466. I think there's
a light switch back here.Copy !req
467. No, dude, you don't...Copy !req
468. Grab a seat.Copy !req
469. You two bozos
don't even realize it...Copy !req
470. but you just stumbled onto...Copy !req
471. the darkest secret
in the history of rock.Copy !req
472. Go on.Copy !req
473. I actually saw it once.Copy !req
474. I used to be a guitar tech.Copy !req
475. So one night, I'm working a gig
up in New Jersey or something.Copy !req
476. Some real mediocre band.Copy !req
477. Lead guitarist comes out,
starts shredding licks...Copy !req
478. way beyond his capabilities.Copy !req
479. Like shit that had to be
coming from somewhere else.Copy !req
480. I noticed he was using a new pick.Copy !req
481. Weird-looking thing with horns on it.Copy !req
482. Made of green ivory, or some shit.Copy !req
483. It was the pick, it wasn't him.Copy !req
484. He didn't know what he had, though.Copy !req
485. End of the show, he flicks it
back into the audience.Copy !req
486. Some kid catches it.Copy !req
487. Kid named Eddie.Copy !req
488. Eddie?Copy !req
489. Van Halen!Copy !req
490. Whoa.Copy !req
491. So I started researching it.Copy !req
492. Turns out this thing goes deeper
than I could have imagined.Copy !req
493. Way deeper.Copy !req
494. Back to the Dark Ages.Copy !req
495. I moved to Rome. Quit my job.Copy !req
496. Learned Latin.Copy !req
497. I gained the trust of the
night librarian at the Vatican.Copy !req
498. A gentleman named
Salvatore Papardello.Copy !req
499. He turned me on to some shit
that you wouldn't believe.Copy !req
500. Check this out.Copy !req
501. It's an ancient scroll.Copy !req
502. All in Latin.Copy !req
503. I translated it. Took me six years.Copy !req
504. Why didn't you just get a translator?Copy !req
505. And let him read it too?Copy !req
506. Listen to this.Copy !req
507. Long ago, a dark wizard
used his black magic...Copy !req
508. to summon Satan himself.Copy !req
509. Satanus.Copy !req
510. That's Latin for Satan.Copy !req
511. A horrific battle ensued.Copy !req
512. But the great demon
was far too powerful.Copy !req
513. Snakes!Copy !req
514. Finish me, foul beast!Copy !req
515. Luckily, a blacksmith
heard the beast's roars.Copy !req
516. No!Copy !req
517. Ow!Copy !req
518. Fuck! You chipped my tooth.Copy !req
519. I'm not complete.Copy !req
520. Venisti remanebis
donec denuo completus sis.Copy !req
521. What does that mean?Copy !req
522. From whence you came
you shall remain...Copy !req
523. until you are complete again.Copy !req
524. Fuck you! No!Copy !req
525. No! I'm not complete!Copy !req
526. The demon was drawn back
into the fires of hell...Copy !req
527. and the dark wizard
was totally stoked to be alive.Copy !req
528. With a long draw on his hash pipe...Copy !req
529. the wizard devised a way
to repay the blacksmith.Copy !req
530. The blacksmith loved a fair maiden.Copy !req
531. To gain her affection, he would
need a true master skill...Copy !req
532. that would leave the maiden
moist and wanting.Copy !req
533. And so the wizard fashioned
the demon's tooth...Copy !req
534. into a pick that would make
the blacksmith play...Copy !req
535. only the most masterful
of melodies on his lute...Copy !req
536. thereby winning the heart
of the maiden he loved.Copy !req
537. The secret of the pick died
with that blacksmith.Copy !req
538. And then... poof!Copy !req
539. All of a sudden it reappears
in the American South...Copy !req
540. at the turn of the century,
in Robert Johnson's fingers.Copy !req
541. Spawns the birth of the blues.
And rock & roll.Copy !req
542. Of course.Copy !req
543. The pick is a tiny part
of the beast...Copy !req
544. so it has
supranatural qualities.Copy !req
545. - Supernatural?
- No, supra-natural.Copy !req
546. That's like
a whole other level above super.Copy !req
547. Where is it now?Copy !req
548. That's the last known photo
of the pick.Copy !req
549. That guitar was sold at auction.Copy !req
550. It now resides in the
Rock & Roll History Museum.Copy !req
551. That's where the POD is too.Copy !req
552. - The POD?
- The Pick of Destiny.Copy !req
553. Oh.Copy !req
554. Why didn't you just go get it?Copy !req
555. The Rock & Roll History Museum
is an impenetrable fortress.Copy !req
556. You two bozos wanna steal
the Pick of Destiny...Copy !req
557. count me out.Copy !req
558. I already went down
that rabbit hole once.Copy !req
559. And I got news for you.Copy !req
560. There's no cheese at
the end of that tunnel, buddy.Copy !req
561. All right, get outta here.
I told you enough already.Copy !req
562. C'mon, get outta here.Copy !req
563. Man, I don't know what to say.Copy !req
564. Shh.Copy !req
565. Just get outta my store.Copy !req
566. The Quest!Copy !req
567. Oh, my God! You guys!
What are you doin' here?Copy !req
568. - Come on in!
- Actually, we can't stay.Copy !req
569. We were hopin'
you'd do us a favor.Copy !req
570. Anything you need, man.Copy !req
571. - Do you think it would be OK—
- We need your car.Copy !req
572. Oh.Copy !req
573. Um, well,
kinda need it for work.Copy !req
574. Listen, man.Copy !req
575. We've got a meeting
with the hugest president...Copy !req
576. of the most massive
record company in the business.Copy !req
577. We need to meet him
in Sacramento tonight.Copy !req
578. Oh.Copy !req
579. Uh—Copy !req
580. Well—Copy !req
581. All right.Copy !req
582. Hey, what's up with this pedal?Copy !req
583. That's my extra brake.Copy !req
584. I'm a pizza delivery guy
and a driving instructor.Copy !req
585. I teach people how to drive
while I deliver 'zas.Copy !req
586. Ha ha ha! Good thinkin', man.Copy !req
587. Later.Copy !req
588. Knock 'em dead
at the meeting, you guys.Copy !req
589. I can't stop thinkin'
about that fuckin' pick.Copy !req
590. You heard the guy. It's Satan's tooth.Copy !req
591. When we get that thing...Copy !req
592. we're gonna win
that fuckin' prize money...Copy !req
593. then we're gonna
dominate the world of rock.Copy !req
594. We're gonna be unstoppable, man.Copy !req
595. Hmmm...Copy !req
596. Unstoppable.Copy !req
597. Unstoppable.Copy !req
598. Unstoppable.Copy !req
599. This, uh, next band
asked me not to read this...Copy !req
600. but, God damn it,
I'm going to read it anyway...Copy !req
601. because I wrote it...Copy !req
602. and it's the truth.Copy !req
603. "l fucking love this band!"Copy !req
604. They are the best band ever, period!Copy !req
605. Ladies and gentlemen, Tenacious D!Copy !req
606. Hey, what's up?Copy !req
607. Me and KG wrote this song
five minutes ago.Copy !req
608. It's called Master Exploder.Copy !req
609. Sorry.Copy !req
610. Woah!Copy !req
611. JB! JB! JB! JB!Copy !req
612. JB! JB! JB! JB! JB!Copy !req
613. - JB! JB! JB!
- JB. JB. JB.Copy !req
614. - JB! JB! JB!
- JB. JB. JB.Copy !req
615. JB, wake up. JB, wake up!Copy !req
616. Let's chow down, dude.Copy !req
617. - I'm starving.
- OK.Copy !req
618. You guys know what you want?Copy !req
619. Hmm.Copy !req
620. What do you recommend?Copy !req
621. I recommend
that you order some food.Copy !req
622. OK.Copy !req
623. Uh—Lemme have
the fried chicken and a steak...Copy !req
624. and the chicken-fried steak.Copy !req
625. Hello.Copy !req
626. Um—What happened to your eye?Copy !req
627. I burned it with a curling iron.Copy !req
628. I'll have one small glass
of carrot juice.Copy !req
629. Yeah, we don't have that here.Copy !req
630. Then I will have nothing.Copy !req
631. Great.Copy !req
632. - Dude, what's the matter?
- Dude?Copy !req
633. Aren't you hungry?
You should eat somethin'.Copy !req
634. No. I never eat before a mission.Copy !req
635. It slows you down.Copy !req
636. I gotta be light on my feet
like a dancer.Copy !req
637. Like a fuckin' ninja, dude.Copy !req
638. Now check this out.Copy !req
639. I'm gonna jump this fence here.Copy !req
640. OK? Like a gazelle.Copy !req
641. Then you come around
that fuckin' bend.Copy !req
642. God! Damn it, Kyle!Copy !req
643. If we're gonna do this,
you gotta stay focused.Copy !req
644. Eye of le tigre!Copy !req
645. Now check it out.Copy !req
646. You give me a fuckin' boost,
He-Man style.Copy !req
647. And then we're gonna fuckin' do
a little mini-tiger roll...Copy !req
648. - And come on back.
- Oh, my God. Stop it!Copy !req
649. I fuckin' pull your shit up.Copy !req
650. Dude, hold on. That's good stuff.Copy !req
651. You're right, he's coming over here.Copy !req
652. - Oh!
- Fuckin' dick squeezer.Copy !req
653. Aaah!Copy !req
654. Uh—Copy !req
655. Hey...Copy !req
656. buddy.Copy !req
657. Heh heh heh.Copy !req
658. So, uh, what, uh, brings you...Copy !req
659. to this neck of the woods?Copy !req
660. Um—Ahem. We're just
on a little business trip.Copy !req
661. Mm.Copy !req
662. Are you, uh, going to, uh...Copy !req
663. check out
the Rock & Roll History Museum?Copy !req
664. - The Rock & Roll what?
- History Museum.Copy !req
665. Oh, no. I don't even know
what you're talkin' about.Copy !req
666. You just seem like
Rock & Roll types to me.Copy !req
667. - Ha ha!
- Yeah, well, we're not.Copy !req
668. We're just
two fuckin' businessmen...Copy !req
669. on our way
to see some shit in Sacramento.Copy !req
670. - So, sorry.
- Hmm. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
671. I was just asking because...Copy !req
672. I noticed the guitars
in the back seat of your car.Copy !req
673. Yeah, well, I said,
we're fuckin' businessmen.Copy !req
674. We sell guitars. So what?
Big deal. End of story.Copy !req
675. Check, please!Copy !req
676. You're sure you aren't planning...Copy !req
677. on breaking into
the Rock & Roll History Museum?Copy !req
678. Hey, gimme that back, man!Copy !req
679. Yeah, my buddy and I are in a band.Copy !req
680. I don't like to say the name,
but uh, we had some hits...Copy !req
681. And so, uh, they're inductin' us...Copy !req
682. into the Rock & Roll History Museum.Copy !req
683. - No way!
- Aaah.Copy !req
684. Way.Copy !req
685. Oh, my God. We're sitting
with someone famous?Copy !req
686. Ah, we're just regular guys.Copy !req
687. I mean, uh,
we're just flesh and... bone.Copy !req
688. Let's just say you are planning...Copy !req
689. on breaking into
the Rock & Roll History Museum.Copy !req
690. Maybe you are inexperienced...Copy !req
691. and you get inside
and cry like little girl.Copy !req
692. Maybe you don't have
what it takes to get the job done.Copy !req
693. 'Scuse me.Copy !req
694. Man, God!Copy !req
695. Yeah. Damn.Copy !req
696. I was thinking maybe there
was something in that museum...Copy !req
697. you had a desire for.Copy !req
698. Maybe—Copy !req
699. Pick of Destiny!Copy !req
700. Our sorority is throwing
a huge bash tonight.Copy !req
701. You guys should totally come...Copy !req
702. and play some
of your songs at the party.Copy !req
703. We're just getting ready
to head over there right now.Copy !req
704. Why don't you follow us over?Copy !req
705. You know what?Copy !req
706. That sounds rad.Copy !req
707. We don't usually play private parties...Copy !req
708. but I think we can make
some dreams come true tonight.Copy !req
709. Hee hee hee hee!Copy !req
710. I'll ride along with you.Copy !req
711. So you don't get lost.Copy !req
712. I tried to get
the Pick of Destiny once.Copy !req
713. I had it in my hands, too.Copy !req
714. But I was caught. Set off a laser.Copy !req
715. Security door came down on my leg.Copy !req
716. - Cut it right off.
- Ooh.Copy !req
717. I would break in again
if I still had my leg.Copy !req
718. My leg. Oh, man.Copy !req
719. I miss that sweet-ass leg of mine.Copy !req
720. Why are you telling me this?Copy !req
721. I like you. I see the spark
in your eye that I once had.Copy !req
722. Let me show you something.Copy !req
723. These are my plans.
They will help you, I promise.Copy !req
724. There are two air ducts on the roof.Copy !req
725. You must enter through there.Copy !req
726. Speak of this to no one!Copy !req
727. Wait.Copy !req
728. Wait, I have some questions.Copy !req
729. Let me wipe.Copy !req
730. Hold up, dude.Copy !req
731. Dude. I got some smokin' bettys
over there...Copy !req
732. and they want us to play a gig.Copy !req
733. No. I just had the weirdest
conversation of my life.Copy !req
734. This guy just gave me
the perfect plan.Copy !req
735. Now, look.Copy !req
736. There's two air ducts on the roof.Copy !req
737. Dude. The party?Copy !req
738. Gettin' to play our own tunes?Copy !req
739. That blonde over there wants
to ride my wrinklestick, yo.Copy !req
740. Would you get your head out of
the fuckin' pussy-clouds, man?Copy !req
741. Who cares about these chicks?Copy !req
742. There's gonna be ten times
hotter babes backstage...Copy !req
743. when we win album of the year.Copy !req
744. This pick is our ticket to genius.Copy !req
745. Dude. I can't believe you'd
pass by a gig opportunity...Copy !req
746. with some sweet-ass hotties—Copy !req
747. What, for this?Copy !req
748. Is this really
that important to you? Huh?Copy !req
749. We can still write a masterpiece
and win that dough.Copy !req
750. Maybe it would be better for the D...Copy !req
751. if we worked on our songwriting...Copy !req
752. instead of relying on
ancient bullshit, but—Copy !req
753. probably won't work anyway.Copy !req
754. What's it gonna be, Kyle?Copy !req
755. You have to decide.Copy !req
756. Tits or destiny?Copy !req
757. Tits.Copy !req
758. So, good luck, buddy.Copy !req
759. I hope it was worth it,
because we're done.Copy !req
760. You ruined it. Pick's mine.Copy !req
761. Fuck you. I don't fuckin' need you.Copy !req
762. Later, cock-ass!Copy !req
763. Uh, don't mind him. He—Copy !req
764. He's my butler.Copy !req
765. Had to let him go for loafin'.Copy !req
766. He—he'll—he'll be fine.Copy !req
767. Excuse me, um, are you gonna
charge us for all the refills?Copy !req
768. No, you're so pretty,
you get everything for free.Copy !req
769. Well, that's a really good deal.Copy !req
770. It's just a five-mile walk.Copy !req
771. I can walk that.
I don't need a car.Copy !req
772. I'll take the fuckin' shoelace express.Copy !req
773. Aaaah!Copy !req
774. - Woo!
- Fuck you!Copy !req
775. Stop. Stop the music.Copy !req
776. Everybody, we have got
a special surprise tonight.Copy !req
777. We have brought with us someone...Copy !req
778. who just happens to be a rock star!Copy !req
779. Whoo!Copy !req
780. That's in town to be conducted...Copy !req
781. into the Rock & Roll History Museum.Copy !req
782. - Whoo!
- Yeah!Copy !req
783. And he promised to come here tonight...Copy !req
784. and play us a few of his hits.Copy !req
785. - Oh—
- So...Copy !req
786. - You know—
- Let's give it up!Copy !req
787. - Whoo!
- I don't have a guitar.Copy !req
788. I don't have my gui—
I don't have a guitar.Copy !req
789. - All right!
- Whoo!Copy !req
790. - All right, come on!
- Um—Copy !req
791. This is a song, um—Copy !req
792. I wrote with my partner.Copy !req
793. My f—former partner.Copy !req
794. And, uh, it's called
The History of Tenacious D.Copy !req
795. - Whoo!
- Whoo!Copy !req
796. - Nice!
- Yeah!Copy !req
797. Huh?Copy !req
798. - That sucked.
- Yeah.Copy !req
799. One more and that's it.Copy !req
800. Aah.Copy !req
801. It's a good thing
I found these mushrooms.Copy !req
802. I was fucking starving.Copy !req
803. Mmm. Mm.Copy !req
804. Aah.Copy !req
805. This place is kinda...Copy !req
806. juicy.Copy !req
807. Zzzzzhing!Copy !req
808. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
809. Hee hee!Copy !req
810. Oh, my God! Sasquatch!Copy !req
811. Aaaaah!Copy !req
812. Jables! What's up?Copy !req
813. Ho ho ho!Copy !req
814. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
815. What are you doin' out here?Copy !req
816. I was just walkin'
in your beautiful forest.Copy !req
817. Oh, it's not my fowest, bwother.Copy !req
818. It's evewyone's.Copy !req
819. You're so fuckin' awesome.Copy !req
820. I love yoooou!Copy !req
821. I love you too, JB.Copy !req
822. You're a awesome rocker.
Ha ha ha!Copy !req
823. Whoo!Copy !req
824. - Let's pway!
- Ha ha ha!Copy !req
825. Aaaaah!Copy !req
826. Aaaaah-oooh!Copy !req
827. That's good.Copy !req
828. - Let's go on a adventure.
- Yeah!Copy !req
829. I got lots to show you.Copy !req
830. Can I be a Sasquatch too?Copy !req
831. You alweady are.Copy !req
832. You're my son, JB.Copy !req
833. My widdle baby Sass.Copy !req
834. Oh!Copy !req
835. Let's take a dip
in the stwawberry wiver!Copy !req
836. - Yay!
- Come on!Copy !req
837. Oooh!Copy !req
838. Ohhhh! Yeah. This is fun.Copy !req
839. Ohhhhh!Copy !req
840. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!Copy !req
841. Good times.Copy !req
842. - This is fun.
- Good times.Copy !req
843. This is—This is super fun!Copy !req
844. Ha ha ha!Copy !req
845. Ohhh!Copy !req
846. Ha ha! Daddy, look. Look.Copy !req
847. It's stuck to my butt.Copy !req
848. Ha ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
849. Shake your tushie, it'll fall off.Copy !req
850. - Aah!
- Oh!Copy !req
851. Let's get wid of these.Copy !req
852. - Time to fly.
- Yeah.Copy !req
853. - Whee.
- Ha ha ha! Whee!Copy !req
854. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!Copy !req
855. - Hee hee! Hee hee hee!
- We're flying!Copy !req
856. - Hee hee! Hee hee hee!
- We're flying!Copy !req
857. - We're flying!
- Hold on, boy!Copy !req
858. Do you know where
I can find the Pick of Destiny?Copy !req
859. Sure! It's right over there!Copy !req
860. Oh! Let's get it!Copy !req
861. I can get it if I surf on your—Copy !req
862. Aaah! Aaah! Aaah!Copy !req
863. Aaaaah! Sweet baby!Copy !req
864. Oh! Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah! Aaaah!Copy !req
865. Ow!Copy !req
866. Oh, God!Copy !req
867. Hoo hoo hoo hoo!Copy !req
868. Oh! Oh, God.Copy !req
869. Oh, God.Copy !req
870. Where the fuck am l?Copy !req
871. Yeah, you motherfucker.Copy !req
872. I'm gonna get that son—Copy !req
873. Did you see that?Copy !req
874. - ... me, I elbow him—
- One guy?Copy !req
875. He's tryin' to punch me in the neck.Copy !req
876. - Yeah.
- I look down...Copy !req
877. and there's two guys goin',
"I'm—We're gonna punch you."Copy !req
878. So they're punchin' up at me...Copy !req
879. I got both elbows down like this.Copy !req
880. Pull both their hair...Copy !req
881. and I made them both
poke each other's eyes out.Copy !req
882. So they're both blind,
there's blood everywhere—Copy !req
883. What the fuck?Copy !req
884. Ow!Copy !req
885. God damn it! Aah!Copy !req
886. God! That was KG's fault.Copy !req
887. God! That was KG's fault.Copy !req
888. If he'd been here
like we planned...Copy !req
889. he coulda lowered me down
with a rope...Copy !req
890. but dick-ass
had to follow his cock.Copy !req
891. And you know when I go quadruple
plat he'll come a-knockin'--Copy !req
892. "Dude, can I come back
and join the band now?"Copy !req
893. And I'll be like,
"No way, cockshiner."Copy !req
894. And then he'll be like—Copy !req
895. Can you hear me?Copy !req
896. Oh, yeah.
I hear you loud and clear.Copy !req
897. You're sayin' ho's before bro's.Copy !req
898. Well, that's not how I roll, asshole.Copy !req
899. JB, it's KG. Do you read me?Copy !req
900. What do you want, non-rocker?Copy !req
901. This line is reserved for rockers only...Copy !req
902. so I can't really talk
to you right now.Copy !req
903. Sex, drugs, and then rock & roll.Copy !req
904. In that order.
I was just followin' the code.Copy !req
905. You're a fuckin' traitor.Copy !req
906. You bailed on me,
and now I'm in the shit.Copy !req
907. Where the fuck are you?Copy !req
908. I'm in the air duct, dude.Copy !req
909. - Dude. I totally missed you.
- Me too.Copy !req
910. I just heard a noise.Copy !req
911. I am trippin'.Copy !req
912. Are you stoned?Copy !req
913. Listen.Copy !req
914. Uh, I just heard a noise.Copy !req
915. - I'm gonna go check it out.
- Copy that.Copy !req
916. Mm.Copy !req
917. Uh—Copy !req
918. Classic Rock is clear.Copy !req
919. I'm gonna go check out Punk.Copy !req
920. And if I find anybody in there...Copy !req
921. I'm gonna pop a fuckin' cap
in their ass.Copy !req
922. I'm gonna call it self-defense.Copy !req
923. Hello?Copy !req
924. I'm on my own.Copy !req
925. Oh, God.Copy !req
926. Dude, you heard that guy.Copy !req
927. He's gonna shoot us. Let's bail.Copy !req
928. No. We're too close.Copy !req
929. That pick is in one of these rooms...Copy !req
930. and we're not leavin' here
without it.Copy !req
931. Dude, look at this place.Copy !req
932. It's huge. We're never
gonna find this thing.Copy !req
933. Follow me. We are the shadows.Copy !req
934. They'll never find what cannot be seen.Copy !req
935. Center.Copy !req
936. Picks, picks.Copy !req
937. Where do they keep their fuckin' picks?Copy !req
938. It's gotta be in the Guitar Gods room.Copy !req
939. - Where's that?
- It's right here.Copy !req
940. At the top of Guitarway to Heaven.Copy !req
941. There it is.Copy !req
942. Fuck-a-luck-a-ding-dong.Copy !req
943. - Let's go get it.
- No!Copy !req
944. Lasers.Copy !req
945. They'll slice you to pieces.Copy !req
946. Sizzlelean.Copy !req
947. You stay here and keep a lookout.Copy !req
948. Wh—What are you gonna do?Copy !req
949. I'm goin' in there and gettin' that pick.Copy !req
950. Be careful.Copy !req
951. Uh! Uh!Copy !req
952. You got it.Copy !req
953. Can't... reach... pick.Copy !req
954. Surrounded by lasers.Copy !req
955. Focus, Jables.Copy !req
956. Use all your mental powers.Copy !req
957. Wait.
There's a button down here.Copy !req
958. I think it might deactivate the lasers...Copy !req
959. But I can't reach it.Copy !req
960. The cock.Copy !req
961. Use the cock.Copy !req
962. Come on, helmet head.Copy !req
963. Get it up.Copy !req
964. Ooh.Copy !req
965. Aaah! Mmm!Copy !req
966. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
967. Let's finish this.Copy !req
968. Aaah!Copy !req
969. Fuck.Copy !req
970. I can't reach it.Copy !req
971. - I can't reach it.
- Hold on!Copy !req
972. Aaaaah!Copy !req
973. That's it, that's it.Copy !req
974. I got it! I got it! Aaah!Copy !req
975. - Aaah! Aaah!
- Aaah!Copy !req
976. Ah! Aaah! Oh! Aaah!Copy !req
977. - Uh...
- Oh!Copy !req
978. Ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
979. Aaaaaah!Copy !req
980. Haul ass!Copy !req
981. Aaaaaah!Copy !req
982. Aaaaaah!Copy !req
983. Halt! Stop!Copy !req
984. Aaah!Copy !req
985. Power slide!Copy !req
986. - Oh, damn!
- Ugh! Why?Copy !req
987. - That was awesome.
- I know.Copy !req
988. I've never fired a gun before,
it was unbelievable.Copy !req
989. Aah! Oh, God! Oh!Copy !req
990. Oh! Hold up!Copy !req
991. - We got it!
- Fuck, yeah.Copy !req
992. Let's get the fuck outta here.Copy !req
993. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!Copy !req
994. Nice work, boys.Copy !req
995. Now, toss that pick over here,
nice and slow.Copy !req
996. Or I will cut you from hole to hole.Copy !req
997. Then you might as well kill us, man...Copy !req
998. 'cause there is no way in hell...Copy !req
999. we're givin' you this fuckin' pick.Copy !req
1000. OK.Copy !req
1001. So be it.Copy !req
1002. Come over here.Copy !req
1003. I'm going to fucking stab you.Copy !req
1004. What?Copy !req
1005. No. We're not comin' over there.Copy !req
1006. Fine.Copy !req
1007. Stay where you are, then.Copy !req
1008. I'm going to come over there.Copy !req
1009. I am going to slice out
your eyes and your balls.Copy !req
1010. And then I am going to stick
your eyes in your ballsacks...Copy !req
1011. and then I will take your balls...Copy !req
1012. and I will put them in your eyeholes!Copy !req
1013. Dude, we could totally outrun him.Copy !req
1014. Totally, let's bail.Copy !req
1015. N—No, wait! Co—Come back here!Copy !req
1016. Gaaah!Copy !req
1017. Come back with my pick!Copy !req
1018. It belongs to me!Copy !req
1019. Freeze!Copy !req
1020. Catch me if you can.Copy !req
1021. Aaah!Copy !req
1022. Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
1023. Whoo!Copy !req
1024. Fifty miles to Los Angeles.Copy !req
1025. - We did it!
- Yeah!Copy !req
1026. - Yeah!
- I know.Copy !req
1027. I'm surprised no one even chased us.Copy !req
1028. We got away scot-free.Copy !req
1029. - You fuckin' rule.
- No. You fuckin' rule.Copy !req
1030. Yeah, but I couldn't have done it
without your training.Copy !req
1031. Dude, let's see the pick.Copy !req
1032. - Oh, shit.
- Dude, you got it, right?Copy !req
1033. Yes! Ha ha ha!Copy !req
1034. - Look at how awesome it is!
- Ohhhh!Copy !req
1035. - Now we have the power.
- Yes!Copy !req
1036. We shall carry on its ancient legacy.Copy !req
1037. Dude, we are gonna smoke
the competition...Copy !req
1038. at the open mic night tonight.Copy !req
1039. - That money is ours!
- Mm. Totally.Copy !req
1040. Yeah, I got some, uh, fellas
with a broken taillight.Copy !req
1041. - Oh, fuck. It's the cops.
- Is it? Oh... Oo.Copy !req
1042. Pull over. Pull over. It's cool.Copy !req
1043. - OK.
- Pull over.Copy !req
1044. All right. Just play it cool.Copy !req
1045. M'kay? They got nothin' on us.Copy !req
1046. Let's just be mellow, OK?Copy !req
1047. What're you doing? No!Copy !req
1048. What the fuck are you doing?Copy !req
1049. This is Officer Mackenzie,
I need backup.Copy !req
1050. Assailants turning south
down Lexington Avenue.Copy !req
1051. I'm in pursuit.Copy !req
1052. Oh, God damn it, Kyle!Copy !req
1053. The car is severely damaged.Copy !req
1054. The perpetrators appear to be
two heavyset males...Copy !req
1055. driving a blue Cutlass Supreme.Copy !req
1056. Let's go now to Mark in Skycop—Copy !req
1057. God damn it!Copy !req
1058. - Yeah?
- Hey, you guys!Copy !req
1059. - Fuck!
- It's Lee.Copy !req
1060. I'm just checkin' in.
Is everything OK?Copy !req
1061. Yeah, we're cool. We're super cool.Copy !req
1062. Ah! Ahh!Copy !req
1063. Um, where are you guys?Copy !req
1064. We're, uh, we're at the drive-in.Copy !req
1065. We're watchin this bitchin' movie.Copy !req
1066. It's, uh, Cop Chase 3.
Have you seen it?Copy !req
1067. Aaaaaah!Copy !req
1068. Uh, no. I haven't seen that one.Copy !req
1069. Whoa!Copy !req
1070. Sounds scary, though.Copy !req
1071. Yeah. Uh, it's really fucking scary.Copy !req
1072. I'm shaking right now, I'm so scared.Copy !req
1073. Cool. Well, how was that, uh...Copy !req
1074. big power meeting you guys had?Copy !req
1075. Awesome. I'll tell you about it later.Copy !req
1076. You're makin' us miss the movie.Copy !req
1077. I think I lost em!Copy !req
1078. Gaah!Copy !req
1079. I can do this.Copy !req
1080. We're gonna need
paramedics and fire trucks.Copy !req
1081. These guys are toast.Copy !req
1082. Let's get the fuck outta here.Copy !req
1083. Let's go.Copy !req
1084. Uh, which way, which way?Copy !req
1085. OK, where?Copy !req
1086. That way! That way!Copy !req
1087. This is it, I think.Copy !req
1088. Uh! Oooh! Uh!Copy !req
1089. - Lemme sneak a peek.
- OK.Copy !req
1090. Uh! Huh.Copy !req
1091. - This is it.
- Oh.Copy !req
1092. C'mon.Copy !req
1093. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
1094. - Let's do this.
- OK.Copy !req
1095. Hey. Hey.Copy !req
1096. Hey, guys, you're runnin' a little late.Copy !req
1097. There's one spot left.
You got any new material?Copy !req
1098. What we got's gonna turn
your brain into shit.Copy !req
1099. Dust off the stage,
open mic host. Step aside.Copy !req
1100. OK, big shots.Copy !req
1101. You're up whenever you're ready.Copy !req
1102. Let's blister this asshole.Copy !req
1103. Jack, wait! You got the pick?Copy !req
1104. Yeah. Got it right here.
Let's go.Copy !req
1105. Maybe I should use it tonight
and you use it next time.Copy !req
1106. I should use it tonight.
I'm the lead singer.Copy !req
1107. Huh! It's a guitar pick.
I'm lead guitar.Copy !req
1108. OK, dude, don't freak out on me.Copy !req
1109. Let's just work this out rationally, OK?Copy !req
1110. We'll take turns with it.Copy !req
1111. I'll use it now, you'll use it later.Copy !req
1112. I'm not freakin' out,
you're freakin' out.Copy !req
1113. Now, just let me hold it
for one second!Copy !req
1114. You're never gonna use
this fuckin' pick.Copy !req
1115. Aaah!Copy !req
1116. Aaaah!Copy !req
1117. - No!
- No!Copy !req
1118. You guys, the crowd's
gettin' restless in there.Copy !req
1119. - No!
- Hey, wh-what's—Copy !req
1120. What's goin' on?Copy !req
1121. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,
what's wrong?Copy !req
1122. We can't go on.Copy !req
1123. We had the demon's pick...Copy !req
1124. but then we broke it...Copy !req
1125. and now our masterpiece
will never happen.Copy !req
1126. We can't pay the rent because
we won't be fueled by Satan.Copy !req
1127. Come on, get up, get up.Copy !req
1128. Come on, come on. Stand up.
You're all right.Copy !req
1129. You guys, having
some satanic guitar pick...Copy !req
1130. isn't gonna make
your rock any better...Copy !req
1131. because Satan's not
in a guitar pick...Copy !req
1132. he's inside all of us.Copy !req
1133. He's in here.Copy !req
1134. In your hearts.Copy !req
1135. He's what makes us
not want to go to work...Copy !req
1136. exercise, or tell the truth.Copy !req
1137. He's what makes us want to party...Copy !req
1138. and have sex with each other
all night long.Copy !req
1139. He's that little voice in your mind...Copy !req
1140. that says, "Fuck you"
to the people you hate.Copy !req
1141. Now, you can stay out here
and fight on the ground...Copy !req
1142. and cry like babies.Copy !req
1143. Or you can go in there
like friends and rock.Copy !req
1144. So, what's it gonna be?Copy !req
1145. Let's go in there and show 'em
what Tenacious D is all about.Copy !req
1146. Yeah.Copy !req
1147. I already got a guitar pick anyways.Copy !req
1148. C'mon.Copy !req
1149. Dude, we can still use the pick.Copy !req
1150. You use one half, I'll use the other.Copy !req
1151. There's still some juice
in there, probably.Copy !req
1152. - You know what I mean?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1153. Where is that...?Copy !req
1154. Aaaah!Copy !req
1155. What?Copy !req
1156. Trust me, Kage.Copy !req
1157. It's the only way.Copy !req
1158. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1159. Fine!Copy !req
1160. Ah ha ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
1161. Come on, Kage!Copy !req
1162. Let's fight his music with our music.Copy !req
1163. Goddamnit, Kage.Copy !req
1164. You guys are fuckin' lame!Copy !req
1165. C'mon, Kage,
you're comin' with me.Copy !req
1166. Taste my lightning, fucker.Copy !req
1167. Nooo!Copy !req
1168. Ow!Copy !req
1169. Fuck! My fuckin' horn!Copy !req
1170. - Oh, no!
- From whence you came...Copy !req
1171. you shall remain,
until you are complete again!Copy !req
1172. Nooo!Copy !req
1173. Fuck you, Kage!Copy !req
1174. And fuck you, Jables.Copy !req
1175. I'll get you, Tenacious D!Copy !req
1176. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!Copy !req
1177. We did it, dude.Copy !req
1178. We beat the Devil.Copy !req
1179. With our rock.Copy !req
1180. Ha ha ha! So good.Copy !req
1181. Aaah, man, that was
a monster jam that we played.Copy !req
1182. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
1183. It was, like,
the greatest song in the world.Copy !req
1184. It was, wasn't it?Copy !req
1185. - How did it go?
- Um...Copy !req
1186. - I can't remember.
- Fuck. I can't either.Copy !req
1187. You know what? Let's just
lay down a fresh, tasty jam.Copy !req
1188. Good idea, rage Kage.Copy !req
1189. - Bust out the BOD.
- What?Copy !req
1190. The Bong of Destiny.Copy !req
1191. Good call.Copy !req
1192. Whoa.Copy !req
1193. Take it to the head, bitch.Copy !req
1194. Draws like a pencil.Copy !req
1195. Press record.Copy !req
1196. Ooooh!Copy !req
1197. - Ha ha ha!
- Yeah!Copy !req
1198. Now let's rock it.Copy !req
1199. One, two, three.Copy !req
1200. Ah ha ha ha!Copy !req
1201. All right, man.Copy !req
1202. This is it.Copy !req
1203. Don't make a sound
unless it's a masterpiece.Copy !req
1204. Not a fuckin' sound.Copy !req
1205. Wait.Copy !req
1206. How will I know if it's a masterpiece?Copy !req
1207. You'll feel it.Copy !req
1208. And if you feel it,
just fuckin' lay it on me.Copy !req
1209. Aaah!Copy !req
1210. OK.Copy !req
1211. Thought I felt somethin'.Copy !req
1212. Let's hear that back.Copy !req