Teenage Sex and Death at Camp Miasma (2026)

1. Hey, look.

2. Okay, listen everybody.

3. But her muffins are just so good.

4. I know.

5. I'm gonna figure out the recipe and I'll make you some.

6. What? No, no, no.

7. What am I supposed to do, eat muffins all the time?

8. That's all I'm gonna do.

9. Hold on.

10. Are you okay?

11. Why so puffy? I can't even get them on.

12. So sorry.

13. Yeah, I just got into town and I'm meeting Billy tomorrow.

14. She says she wants to cook me dinner,

15. but I'll probably just like crash

16. at a hotel tomorrow night and then head back to the city Thursday.

17. Good.

18. Wouldn't want you marooned in the wilderness

19. with Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard.

20. Stop. She's not Norma Desmond from Sunset Boulevard.

21. Didn't you say she's a recluse?

22. No. I mean, yeah...

23. she's reclusive, but she seems like totally with it.

24. She just hasn't acted in a while.

25. Okay, I know you think this is gonna help you crack the reboot,

26. but can you just drop a pin for me when you get there? Okay?

27. And watch out for any rusty nails left lying around.

28. Yes. They have Sweet Tart Mini Chewy.

29. Anyway, what are you up to tonight?

30. I'm going to a poetry reading with Thor,

31. that bisexual king I've been seeing.

32. Hi to Thor.

33. Hi from Kris.

34. Oh. What up, Kris?

35. Thor says what up.

36. Oh my God.

37. You'll never guess what they're selling at this gas station.

38. Methamphetamines?

39. Illegal firearms?

40. Confederate flag decals for the backs of various pickup trucks?

41. No, Camp Miasma Part Six.

42. This too, please.

43. - Hmm. Part Six. - Like your hair, by the way.

44. Is that the one with the faces in the skin wall?

45. No, no. It's the one after that

46. where they try to like course correct, back to basics.

47. It's actually pretty good. It's one of the better sequels.

48. You're such a nerd.

49. Thank you.

50. I have you in for one night.

51. - Is that correct? - Yeah.

52. Listen, I was just wondering,

53. do you have any rooms with DVD players?

54. DVD?

55. Like if I wanted to watch this.

56. Oh my gosh, yes.

57. - I'm in that movie. - What?

58. Yeah, they shot at the haunted summer camp about 20 miles up the hill. Camp Tivoli.

59. They filmed around here and they cast some locals in some parts,

60. you know, to save money.

61. - But... - Shit.

62. Yeah, I actually, I thought you looked familiar.

63. You know, I think I do have a DVD player or two around here.

64. I'll just go look for them.

65. Oh, there. I think I see it.

66. Yahtzee.

67. Come on, I thought you wanted to go skinny-dipping.

68. Yeah.

69. I mean, I don't know.

70. It's July, Megan. The water's warm even at night.

71. No, it's not that.

72. It's just, isn't this that defunct sleepaway camp

73. where those teenagers got murdered all those years ago

74. by that pervert in the ceiling vent helmet?

75. Aw.

76. You scared of Little Death?

77. Scared he's gonna take his big rusty spear and...

78. - Stop it. - ... penetrate you?

79. Anyway, that was years ago.

80. That freak has been dead forever.

81. Haven't you heard?

82. Camp Miasma's reopening this year.

83. Come on.

84. The water's gonna feel so good on your body.

85. I promise.

86. It's over now.

87. He's dead, forever...

88. this time.

89. No.

90. It's never over.

91. Don't you understand?

92. He's still down there at the bottom of the lake.

93. He's still hungry.

94. Hey, so... I'm almost to Billy's house.

95. But have you ever done a GPS where it's just coordinates, like numbers?

96. 'Cause that's... She just gave me numbers.

97. Great. Yeah, that's great.

98. So listen, I just got a text from Tracy.

99. They want you to meet with the head of the studio on Friday.

100. Can you do Friday?

101. Okay, I'm gonna confirm.

102. And remember, for the origin story,

103. they're looking for elevated, AKA woke.

104. So... I'm getting another call. Bye.

105. Turn right onto Frog Hollow Road.

106. Continue for 1,000 feet.

107. What? There's no road.

108. In 500 feet, the destination is on your right.

109. Jesus.

110. Return to the route.

111. - What route? - Return to the route.

112. Arrived.

113. No.

114. You gotta be kidding me.

115. Hello?

116. Is anyone here?

117. Woah.

118. I feel like there's about to be a jump scare.

119. Hi.

120. I'm Billy Presley.

121. You must be the writer-director.

122. Yeah, hi.

123. You came out of nowhere. I didn't know you were in here.

124. I'm sorry.

125. I saw you and I wanted to scare you.

126. It's only fair, right?

127. You've already seen me.

128. Sorry, my day got kind of away from me.

129. I suddenly realized that I didn't have any food for dinner,

130. so had to do an emergency takeout run.

131. The options around here, as you can imagine,

132. are not that, well, good.

133. So I hope you like fried chicken.

134. Oh, shoot. I should have asked.

135. You're not vegan or something, are you?

136. Gluten-free? That's big right now, huh?

137. I love fried chicken.

138. Good.

139. Right answer. I like fried chicken too.

140. Oh, those are greasy. Those are good.

141. Now, if it gets too real, you can always turn it off.

142. That was promotional for the home video release,

143. but I kinda like it.

144. Sorry, I didn't mean to—

145. No, I'm sorry.

146. I'm sorry I wasn't here when you showed up.

147. No, no, that space is amazing. I just, I didn't realize that you, you—

148. Or yeah, how did you choose to live at the...

149. abandoned sleepaway camp from the first Miasma film?

150. Well, isn't that obvious?

151. Someone's gotta be here when Little Death comes back.

152. What?

153. Little Death isn't real.

154. Well, not with that attitude he isn't.

155. You see, I discovered something when I moved here.

156. There is a hole at the bottom of the lake

157. where the movies come from,

158. and he is still waiting down there.

159. And if you've seen his movies,

160. you know he always comes back.

161. Oh my God, you thought that I was some crazy lady, didn't you?

162. - No. - Yes, you did.

163. - I saw it on your face. - No, I didn't.

164. You thought I was a full bugs-under-the-skin recluse crazy lady.

165. Like, what's her name?

166. From... Sunset Boulevard.

167. I know who you're talking about,

168. but I can't... Yeah, I can't remember her name.

169. Anyway, a real estate agent showed me the old camp.

170. I thought it was sort of morbidly fitting, you know?

171. The first movie really left its mark on me.

172. I needed to get away from reality.

173. I like the seclusion,

174. the vastness of it all.

175. I can work on my paintings in peace, and nobody bothers me.

176. Guess I bought myself a private alternate universe.

177. I totally get that desire.

178. Speaking of desire…

179. do you like dipping sauce?

180. I love dipping sauce.

181. I love dipping sauce, too.

182. So Kris…

183. here you are in my home eating chicken.

184. Why don't you tell me about yourself?

185. Oh, God. I don't know.

186. I mean, I'm sitting here with Billy Presley.

187. - I don't wanna talk about myself. - Now, don't flatter me.

188. No, I'm not trying to flatter you, but okay.

189. Well, yeah. Um, well, I'm a filmmaker,

190. but you know that.

191. My work explores the intersection of

192. queerness and cultural depictions of monstrosity.

193. I made my first feature a couple years ago for like, $6.

194. I saw it. Mm-hmm.

195. You saw Jouissance?

196. Yeah.

197. I had to drive into town to get enough Wi-Fi to rent it,

198. but yeah, I saw it.

199. I do my research.

200. What did you think of it?

201. Well...

202. - Oh, you hated it. - No, I didn't hate it.

203. I…

204. Well, you remade Psycho from the perspective of the shower curtain.

205. That was only the last third.

206. I just think it was over my head is all...

207. It's a meta commentary on the gender trouble inherent to the slasher genre.

208. We're just different generations is all.

209. Anyway, yeah, audiences mostly didn't get it either,

210. but enough critics liked it that it opened some doors for me in Hollywood,

211. and that's kinda where this opportunity came from.

212. To remake Camp Miasma?

213. Yeah, which like on the surface is like a weird career move for me,

214. but see, I got it all figured out.

215. What they don't know is that the original Camp Miasma

216. was basically my queer awakening.

217. I'm gonna beat Hollywood at its own game.

218. The execs all butter you up.

219. They tell you your perspective is so fresh.

220. They call you the voice of a generation,

221. but I know the real reason they were willing to give me

222. the keys to this franchise.

223. It's zombie IP. They need me to resurrect it.

224. Well, I guess if Little Death has been killed so many times,

225. you could think of him as a zombie.

226. No, no, not a zombie movie, zombie IP.

227. The IP itself is undead,

228. as in too problematic to reboot, because of woke,

229. which in Hollywood right now is a really big problem,

230. because intellectual property from decades ago

231. is basically the only thing anyone's willing to spend money on anymore,

232. what with the capitalism being so late and all.

233. And look, every long-running franchise has skeletons in its closet.

234. I mean, James Bond literally assaults women in Goldfinger

235. and Thunderball, and Mickey Mouse did blackface

236. - that one time. - Mickey did that?

237. So what does a studio do when there's easy money

238. just waiting to be made on a movie franchise,

239. just sitting there dormant,

240. but it's one as blatantly transphobic as Camp Miasma?

241. They hire a queer person to paper over the ugliness,

242. give Little Death a more tragic backstory,

243. weave in some perfunctory message about gender, trauma,

244. being yourself against all odds.

245. Bam! Zombie IP resurrected, shareholders get paid.

246. Kris, I didn't ask you about your work.

247. I asked about you.

248. I want you to tell me about yourself.

249. Sorry.

250. I have a tendency to get kind of fired up about that stuff.

251. Sometimes, I kinda think I am my work.

252. Well, I'm sure that's not true.

253. Okay. Uh, let's see.

254. Uh, well, I'm 29.

255. I... grew up in the suburbs, but I haven't really talked

256. to my family since shortly after I came out.

257. I use she/they pronouns.

258. Are you married?

259. No. God, no.

260. No.

261. No, I'm poly.

262. What's poly?

263. Like polyamorous.

264. Oh, I don't know poly.

265. Yeah. It...

266. Basically, I have a partner, and then my partner

267. has another partner, too.

268. Oh!

269. Kinda like cheating.

270. Yeah.

271. Yeah, but with game nights where you have to hang out

272. with bisexual guys named Thor.

273. You don't sound too excited about it.

274. No, I am. I am.

275. I just uh, I don't know.

276. All that stuff has just

277. kinda always been in the background for me,

278. like sex or whatever.

279. I mean, I love my partner.

280. Really, I do, and I want their needs to be met.

281. But just for me,

282. sex has always felt like kind of a distraction.

283. My primary partner tends to be my work.

284. I'm noticing a trend.

285. Yeah.

286. I guess…

287. love, sex, all that stuff has just never been easy for me.

288. I…

289. Sometimes I think my art is just like, a place for me

290. to hide from all that.

291. Well, like this camp is for me.

292. It's your own private alternate universe.

293. Look, when I was younger, sex was stressful for me, too.

294. I created some kind of a block around it

295. that I couldn't quite name.

296. Exactly.

297. I had to find a way to get out of my head.

298. And this helped.

299. Sorry.

300. - I'm sorry. - No, you're good.

301. No, I mean I'm sorry about bringing all this up.

302. We shouldn't be talking about my sex life.

303. We've only just met.

304. Why not?

305. 'Cause it's weird. I—

306. This is a work meeting. I don't wanna be like…

307. Me Too-ish, Me Too-y, Me Too...

308. Honey, I auditioned for The Burning.

309. You know who created that?

310. You don't scare me.

311. And besides, this isn't a business meeting.

312. We're eating fried chicken and smoking weed,

313. and talking about making art together.

314. Okay. Well, in that case, can I ask you something personal?

315. Uh-huh.

316. Why'd you stop acting?

317. You had a few bit parts

318. and then you starred in the original Miasma,

319. then you kinda just fell off the face of the earth.

320. Well, they invited me back for the sequel,

321. and the third one, too.

322. But I was pretty burnt out.

323. And after a while they stopped calling.

324. I guess I just aged out.

325. Ms Presley, Billy,

326. I just have to say I am a lifelong fan,

327. and I know we're only just meeting,

328. but I feel very, very strongly about the potential

329. of this collaboration.

330. - Here comes the hard sell. - But I'm serious.

331. I don't know how to explain it,

332. but I just know that being here is gonna help me crack the Miasma story.

333. I don't wanna make another dumb sequel in the Camp Miasma franchise.

334. I don't wanna make a remake of a remake, of a remake.

335. Everything's a remake of something.

336. I wanna make something that feels fresh and new.

337. Even the original Miasma movie was based on a real serial killer,

338. Ed Gein.

339. It's like I said in my letter, I mean, to me,

340. the soul of Camp Miasma has always been

341. - that look in your character's eye. - That look in my eye.

342. Exactly.

343. That look has been seared into my memory ever since I saw it on a VHS tape

344. I had absolutely no business being able to watch as an eight-year-old.

345. If I can capture that look in your eye again 35 years later,

346. then I will have done my job as

347. - the latest shepherd— - As the latest shepherd

348. in the Camp Miasma legacy.

349. I know.

350. I read your letter.

351. It's a good pitch.

352. I'm just not convinced that it'll work.

353. Why not?

354. Because you talk about it so academically, and…

355. Camp Miasma, it wasn't about cultural depictions

356. of monstrosity or gender trouble or any of that stuff.

357. It was about two very simple things…

358. flesh and fluids.

359. I really, I really appreciate you...

360. yeah, taking the time, and I'm sure our reps will be in touch,

361. and hopefully, we can work something out.

362. But obviously, no worries if things don't align and...

363. - Kris. - ... you decide not to.

364. You don't need to leave, you know?

365. I made up the guest room upstairs.

366. That's very kind, but I should probably get on the road.

367. Well, it's a bit late to drive, isn't it, especially in this weather?

368. I don't wanna impose any more than I already have. Really.

369. It's not an imposition.

370. It's okay.

371. Kris.

372. Kris, I'm asking you to stay.

373. Is that an order?

374. Yeah.

375. Yeah, that's an order.

376. We can get to know each other.

377. We can watch my print of the first film together.

378. You can tell me more about that look in my eye, and well…

379. We have to be on the same page if...

380. We're gonna be working together?

381. Please.

382. We're already working together.

383. Yeah…

384. I like her.

385. It's been a long time since I've let someone really see me.

386. My acting or my art.

387. Yeah.

388. You know what? I agree.

389. Well, she's more in her head than in her body, but,

390. well, she's got potential.

391. Hold on.

392. I hear something.

393. Morning, sleepyhead.

394. I didn't know what you wanted for breakfast,

395. so I got a variety pack from the Costco.

396. Look at that. Isn't that cute?

397. You got your Frosted Flakes and your Froot Loops,

398. and your Cocoa Krispies.

399. There's a little something for everyone.

400. - Is something wrong? - No.

401. Well, actually, yes. Sorry.

402. I'm just gonna say this even if it sounds weird.

403. Is there, um…

404. Is there someone else in the house with us right now?

405. What are you talking about?

406. Uh, last night before I went to bed, I thought I heard talking.

407. It sounded like maybe you were talking to someone else.

408. I don't think so.

409. As far as I know, it's just the two of us here.

410. There was no one in your bedroom last night?

411. Your dead taxidermied mom, just to throw like, a totally random example.

412. Nope,

413. just the two of us.

414. If you don't believe me, you can go look.

415. - No, I believe you. - No, I'm serious, go look.

416. It's okay. I must've been making it up.

417. Go look.

418. She's amazing.

419. I mean, she's clearly the same person

420. from Miasma I,

421. the final girl, but she's so much more, too.

422. Like, she's weird and, like sexy and tough,

423. but also like really funny, too, and she's a stoner.

424. Oh, God. I mean, it's amazing.

425. There is so much more to explore in her that the first film barely even hinted at.

426. - Yeah. - I mean— Yeah, I'm obsessed.

427. Tell the studio I'm obsessed.

428. You're still just thinking a cameo though, right?

429. No, no. It's her.

430. I mean, the whole movie's gotta be her.

431. Did I tell you that she literally lives

432. at the abandoned sleepaway camp from Miasma I?

433. You mentioned that, yeah.

434. Come on.

435. Are we thinking a supporting role?

436. 'Cause I still need to set expectations with the studio.

437. Hail Satan.

438. No, listen to me. You're not hearing what I'm saying.

439. She is the lead, okay?

440. The final girl again.

441. Kris, taking over the Miasma franchise is a really, really big deal.

442. The studio is taking a chance on you, okay?

443. I know you love your trivia, but they're not gonna wanna

444. build a franchise reboot around a 60-year-old lady

445. who doesn't even have a Wikipedia page. No offense.

446. What about those new Halloween movies?

447. Those made like a billion dollars and they starred a 60-year-old lady.

448. Or... or maybe.

449. Never mind. Those rumors aren't true.

450. Kris! Billy Presley is not Jamie Lee Curtis.

451. You know, she's not Neve Campbell.

452. She's not even, what's her name from the first Nightmare on Elm Street movie?

453. Heather Langenkamp.

454. Yeah, exactly.

455. This is a niche property, Kris.

456. Okay, how can I explain?

457. Can you tell me the name of the lead actress

458. from the Sleepaway Camp movies?

459. Felissa Rose in the original and Pamela Springsteen in the sequels,

460. who fun fact is Bruce Springsteen's sister.

461. There you go. I'd say in 2026,

462. Billy Presley has about as much star power

463. as Bruce Springsteen's sister.

464. Honestly, if I were putting money on it,

465. I bet they don't even know who she is, okay?

466. So just focus on the origin story.

467. That's what this studio is eager for you to crack

468. and then we'll be pushed closer to a green light.

469. Fine. Whatever.

470. Well, how about final cut? Any word on final cut?

471. Kris, we've talked about this.

472. That's not how this works.

473. Are you playing squash right now?

474. You know, Gen Z.

475. TikTok. SpongeBob.

476. Chuck is such a stud.

477. Come on.

478. Go on, go on. This is how you do it.

479. This is how you do it.

480. - Studs Terkel. - Yes!

481. Strange mating ritual.

482. Says our Lady of Corduroy.

483. Like you'd even know, Squeak.

484. Where is it that you are going?

485. Excuse me?

486. I said, where exactly is it that you kids think you're going?

487. Uh, we're the... new counselors at the sleepaway camp

488. on the hill, Camp Miasma.

489. No.

490. No, no, no, no, no.

491. He is still sleeping down below,

492. and a child like you, so...

493. young and nubile,

494. surely you'll wake him, won't you?

495. I'm sorry, sir. I didn't mean to—

496. You're doomed.

497. You're doomed!

498. Hey, what's eating you, Squeak?

499. I'm just thinking about what it's gonna feel like.

500. What, losing your virginity?

501. No.

502. Dying.

503. We're out of freakin' gas.

504. That means we're marooned until the campers get here tomorrow.

505. Alright, alright. Who's gonna do the honors this year?

506. Huh? Huh? Huh?

507. The honors?

508. Yeah, who's telling the origin story,

509. the tale of Little Death?

510. Go for it, man. It's all on you.

511. This part's transphobic.

512. - Shut up. - Sorry.

513. So,

514. This was a long time ago,

515. a long time ago,

516. before I was even a camper here myself.

517. But the counselors,

518. they used to talk about this one kid,

519. a real freak house,

520. who never said a single word to anyone all summer.

521. He had this special arrangement with the camp

522. to have one bed in the boys' bunk

523. and one bed in the girls' bunk.

524. That's freak-house behavior.

525. This kid, see, he was a boy.

526. He had a little wiener, so he had to be, right?

527. Right.

528. But on certain days of the week,

529. like it was the most normal thing in the world…

530. he would pack up all his stuff

531. and move over to the girls' side of camp,

532. and then he would show up to swim practice

533. in a bikini!

534. On Sundays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, he was a boy,

535. and the rest of the week, honest to God,

536. this little schizophrenic thought he was a girl.

537. Major freak house alert.

538. The kid's parents were even bigger freak houses

539. than him.

540. They were hermaphrodites.

541. They met at a mental hospital,

542. killed the guards, and escaped.

543. The mom dressed as a boy and the dad dressed as a girl.

544. They raised their son to be a different gender

545. every day of the week until he finally lost his mind, too.

546. Easy-Bake freak house.

547. He never had a chance.

548. Or...

549. freak house bake oven is what I meant to say actually.

550. Going to pee.

551. Eventually, there was an incident at swim practice.

552. Some of the kids, they made the mistake of teasing him, and...

553. he just went ballistic.

554. So they drowned him.

555. I mean, they had to.

556. Parents covered it up, so the kids wouldn't get in trouble,

557. camp management, the counselors, too.

558. But some people say

559. that he's still down there

560. at the bottom of the lake,

561. that he's still hungry,

562. that he's waiting to rise from the depths.

563. Rise, Little Death.

564. Rise and take your revenge.

565. Gonna get—

566. Oh God, that's classic.

567. You shit your pants, Squeak?

568. I think somebody's baking brownies.

569. Did she shit her pants?

570. Ew.

571. It's just a joke.

572. Alright. Let's get this party started!

573. Come on.

574. Come on, Ella. You got this.

575. Good evening, Camp Miasma.

576. This is DJ Ella Giastic broadcasting all night long.

577. Let's get this party started with Anorak Christmas

578. by Sally Shapiro.

579. - Split diopter. - What's wrong?

580. I thought I saw someone out there watching me

581. or it was like...

582. I sensed someone... sensing me.

583. And then my perspective changed.

584. It was like I could, I could see myself standing here…

585. through his eyes.

586. Wait, who?

587. Little Death?

588. I don't know.

589. Hey, hey, you're shaking.

590. I think we need to get you inside.

591. I know a little spot.

592. How does that sound?

593. Do you wanna come with me?

594. Not really.

595. Or I guess...

596. maybe I do.

597. I'm just...

598. scared.

599. You're still a virgin, right?

600. Think of it like getting a shot at the doctor's office.

601. Except this time, you'll like the way it feels.

602. Rise.

603. Rise.

604. God, I'm so high.

605. Who are you?

606. Bummer.

607. What's wrong, babe? I thought you wanted to make out.

608. What the fuck?

609. What's going on out here?

610. Holy crap.

611. Damn you, Little Death.

612. I know you're out there.

613. Show yourself, so I can finally end this—

614. What's this?

615. That's... it's nothing.

616. It's stupid. It's like a game we play.

617. It's just a way to mark time, you know?

618. Hey, don't look at that.

619. Don't look at that. Just look at me.

620. Look at me.

621. Come on. I'm here.

622. You okay?

623. That's it.

624. Relax.

625. That's it.

626. Shoot.

627. The power just went out.

628. That happens sometimes.

629. Well, we need to get the fire going.

630. I must have seen that movie a hundred times,

631. but I've never seen it like that.

632. That look in your eye.

633. Have you figured out what that was?

634. Fear?

635. Shame?

636. No.

637. There is something else underneath all that.

638. Hey!

639. You were right.

640. This isn't a work meeting.

641. That look in your eye,

642. I don't just wanna watch it.

643. I don't— I don't just wanna film it and put it in a movie.

644. I wanna experience it, too.

645. Will you show me how?

646. Out here, being all alone,

647. there are certain nights when you just get this feeling

648. when it's really late and really quiet,

649. when all of a sudden you just know

650. that some psycho killer escaped mental patient

651. is gonna break in and chop you up

652. into a million little pieces.

653. Oh, I like that feeling.

654. I like the danger and the powerlessness.

655. It's a giving in…

656. even if it just lasts a moment.

657. Do you ever get lonely, though?

658. Living out here all alone in the middle of nowhere.

659. Of course, I get lonely, Kris.

660. Billy.

661. Okay.

662. Tell me what you like.

663. Whatever you want.

664. I'm in your hands.

665. But what do you like?

666. How do you like to be touched?

667. Dealer's choice.

668. Dealer's choice.

669. That's…

670. Sorry, fuck.

671. - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. - It's okay.

672. No, it's not. I don't know what's wrong with me.

673. I'm so fucking bad at sex. I just can't... Jesus Christ.

674. I can't like focus or, I don't know I just...

675. There's no bad at sex.

676. That's not fair.

677. - Sorry. - Oh, you're shaking.

678. - Let's get you warm. - That's so embarrassing.

679. I hate myself.

680. I'll put some tea on the stove and we can make s'mores

681. in the fireplace.

682. Would that be nice?

683. Good.

684. I think it's... dissociation.

685. Sex seems so natural and easy for so many people,

686. but for me, I've just…

687. I've never been able to get there with someone else,

688. unless I'm really far away in my head,

689. just fully someplace else.

690. Where?

691. You don't have to tell me.

692. But I promise I won't judge you.

693. Camp Miasma.

694. Or any old film like that.

695. I imagine myself becoming a character in a slasher film.

696. Mandy the bookworm in part two

697. or Collie in the outhouse in part four.

698. I guess even you,

699. your character in the first movie,

700. in bed with that look in your eye.

701. It's okay.

702. I think about transforming.

703. I start off the movie as myself…

704. a filmmaker, an intellectual,

705. a prude, a pipsqueak.

706. And then I become…

707. Or he makes me…

708. What?

709. It's embarrassing.

710. You can tell me.

711. Well, all that's just window dressing, because…

712. once Little Death comes for me, I'm just…

713. A victim.

714. Yeah.

715. A slut.

716. Mm-hmm.

717. Tits bouncing as I run for my life.

718. My nipples poking through my skimpy clothes.

719. Mm-hmm.

720. Waiting for him to penetrate me.

721. It's stupid and so misogynistic.

722. I think I saw too many movies as a kid, and it fucked me up real bad.

723. Do you think I'm disgusting?

724. No.

725. I think you're very sexy.

726. And if you wanna become that with me,

727. you can,

728. 'cause it's all just play.

729. And that's why he built this place.

730. If it gets too real, you can always turn it off.

731. Now look in his eyes.

732. And make them your own.

733. Let's do it.

734. Let's make a movie.

735. Hi. Do you guys have Wi-Fi?

736. Hi. Hi there.

737. Sorry to be a few minutes late.

738. Oh, no problem. We're actually still waiting on Jeffrey.

739. - Yeah. - But he should be on momentarily.

740. Right on.

741. Where are you right now, Kris?

742. I'm in the Pacific Northwest, near Canada.

743. I think I maybe mentioned, yeah, on our, on our last call,

744. but yeah, I got a meeting with Billy Presley.

745. It's pretty exciting. I don't wanna—

746. Great, yeah.

747. Wanna jinx it or anything, but I'm pretty—

748. Hey, guys. I'm here.

749. Jeffrey...

750. What?

751. What, Tracy?

752. I just got off…

753. With Jason Blum about the new Halloween miniseries.

754. This is my little jump scare.

755. - Watch. - Yeah.

756. Do I make you horny, baby?

757. Do I make you horny—

758. Do I make you horny?

759. So great, Jeffrey.

760. They have the same name, so

761. Michael Myers, Mike Myers.

762. - Thank you. - Thank you.

763. Anyway.

764. Anyway, we're so excited to hear

765. - about our little sleepaway camp slasher. - Yeah.

766. How's it coming along, Kris?

767. Well, I was just saying I have some pretty exciting news.

768. I, um, yeah, I was, I...

769. I'm pretty sure that

770. Billy Presley is going to sign on to, to join the project, so…

771. Billy?

772. What?

773. She played the final girl in the first film back in the '80s.

774. Y-yeah.

775. - Mm-hmm. - Oh, great.

776. That's great fan service.

777. Reddit is gonna prematurely ejaculate

778. in their tight little jeans.

779. Yes. It's so true.

780. Actually, um, I think we're all just really excited

781. to hear about this origin story.

782. Mm-hmm.

783. Yeah. Well, I've actually been... reworking it over the past few days.

784. Great. Great.

785. Why don't you walk us through it, Kris?

786. Okay, so…

787. Lake Miasma, that iconic lake viewers know so well.

788. But there's something viewers don't know

789. about what's lurking there underneath the water.

790. It's Little Death.

791. No.

792. No?

793. No.

794. A hole.

795. A hole?

796. There is a hole at the bottom of the lake…

797. where the movies come from.

798. I don't get it.

799. Translate, someone.

800. Uh, it's a meta take.

801. Yeah, meta.

802. Meta, like, New Nightmare by Fright Master Wes Craven.

803. Nightmare by Fright Master Wes Craven?

804. - Exactly. - No.

805. It's not meta like New Nightmare by Fright Master Wes Craven.

806. Not meta like New Nightmare by Fright Master Wes Craven.

807. Is it an allegory?

808. It's real. Okay?

809. Like, actually real.

810. It's realer than this call.

811. It's not a movie. If anything, this is a movie.

812. You all are characters in a movie.

813. Okay?

814. Okay.

815. Listen to me. Listen to me.

816. There is a hole at the bottom of the lake

817. where the movies come from.

818. It has been there since before the first movie.

819. Okay, it has been there since before the murders

820. that inspired the first movie.

821. Little Death is down there alone, waiting.

822. He doesn't need a mask in the hole under Lake Miasma.

823. He doesn't need clothing at all.

824. When he gets bored, he has his entertainment…

825. and that's where we come in.

826. This is the great trick he plays,

827. convincing us that we made him,

828. when really he made us.

829. That we watch him,

830. when really he watches us.

831. - Do you understand? - Yeah.

832. We're his little playthings.

833. We are an itch for him to scratch.

834. We are a movie for him to edit, and he has final cut.

835. Oh my God, he has final cut!

836. Oh my God, it's happening.

837. It's happening again.

838. Can you feel it?

839. Oh my God, he's hungry.

840. He's rising to the surface now.

841. He's ready.

842. He's ready to make a new movie, and he's coming for us all.

843. - Whoa, whoa, whoa. - It's happening.

844. No need to...

845. It's happening.

846. It's happening.

847. Oh my! It's happening. It's happening!

848. What the fuck was that?

849. There's a lot to unpack there.

850. There's a lot to unpack there. Thank you so much, Kris.

851. Um, let us circle up and we will collect our thoughts

852. and then we will get back to you with notes.

853. Yeah. Thank you, Tracy. Well said.

854. That was... something else, but um,

855. we'll be in touch.

856. Fucking Christ.

857. Whoa.

858. Where exactly is it that you kids think you're going?

859. Me? Do you, do you mean me?

860. I'm... I'm a filmmaker.

861. Uh, I...

862. Yeah. Yeah, I'm a filmmaker here,

863. here from the big city.

864. I'm... here making a... movie

865. at the old sleepaway camp up on the hill.

866. Oh, no.

867. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

868. This remains highly unfinished.

869. I don't like it at all.

870. Totally.

871. He's still sleeping down below, and a child like you,

872. so young—

873. And nubile. Don't forget nubile.

874. And nubile, surely you'll wake him.

875. For sure. For sure.

876. You're doomed.

877. Like doomed, doomed?

878. Doomed. You're, you're doomed.

879. Doomed?

880. Doomed.

881. DJ Ella Giastic on Camp Miasma Radio,

882. and next we got a slow one for all the lovers out there tonight.

883. The signal's starting to come through.

884. I know.

885. It's time for the tale of Little Death.

886. I didn't wanna go with him that night…

887. but I told myself I had to, that it was a ritual,

888. a rite of passage that everyone has to go through.

889. I was 24 playing 17

890. and it was time I lost my virginity.

891. I tried masturbating before.

892. Some girls at camp taught me how when I was just a camper…

893. but I never understood.

894. My hand just got tired.

895. And then…

896. that night on that grimy mattress

897. with that irrelevant creep...

898. I felt hollow.

899. It meant nothing to me.

900. I was losing my virginity…

901. and it was exactly as bad as I had always imagined it would be.

902. When he entered me, I went far away in my head.

903. I tried to think about anything else.

904. I tried to stop being myself there on the bed.

905. And it worked.

906. I caught a signal.

907. Suddenly, I was watching myself from outside myself,

908. like I'd acquired a new set of eyes,

909. ears.

910. I was Little Death.

911. And I was watching myself from across the room,

912. creeping closer.

913. And I could see Billy Presley there on the bed,

914. losing her virginity,

915. getting fucked.

916. Just like in the movies when you see the shot

917. going back and forth, real rapid like.

918. And I was excited, being both of us.

919. I was the watcher,

920. and I was the one being watched.

921. And I was the killer,

922. leering and breathing hard,

923. and I was the victim, too, lying on the bed

924. with that look in my eye.

925. Psycho from the perspective of the shower curtain.

926. And then I lifted the spear,

927. and at the same time I saw it from the bed,

928. looking up at it as it was coming down towards me.

929. And then I came.

930. It was my first orgasm,

931. and it's still the biggest one I ever had.

932. And I thought, "Why'd he make it feel like that?

933. "So good.

934. "So close to magic.

935. "Why'd he make it feel like that?"

936. What was that?

937. Why don't you go have a look?

938. I'm right behind you.

939. Oh my God.

940. Oh my God. Is this gonna be…

941. Is this the moment where he…

942. What should happen next?

943. You could fall down the hill, so you don't get too much of a head start,

944. so you really have to run from him.

945. I love that idea.

946. Do you wanna push me or?

947. Shit. Goddammit.

948. Wow.

949. Okay. Wow. Hi.

950. Sorry, I'm like, I'm a fan obviously.

951. Uh, no offense, but I'm gonna, just gonna…

952. Billy?

953. Billy?

954. What do we do next?

955. Kris.

956. Oh my God. I got so worried when I didn't hear from you.

957. Thor got a pickup truck.

958. We drove all day.

959. He, he…

960. We came to save you.

961. Babe, I think we might've just ran out of gas.

962. What up, Kris?

963. Oh, hey dude, what's up?

964. I'm Thor. What's your name?

965. Wow. God, there's so many trees out here.

966. Billy?

967. What are we doing?

968. Kris!

969. It's me, your agent.

970. I heard the pitch went really, really bad,

971. so I bought a plane ticket, and I rented a car,

972. and I drove out here,

973. 'cause I'm thinking maybe we could workshop.

974. Billy.

975. Kris, hi.

976. We huddled up. We have some thoughts.

977. - Oh, it's an allegory. We totally get it. - Finally.

978. But we want it to be a little bit more commercial, a little more anthemic.

979. Jeffrey's just gonna be about five minutes.

980. Get the fuck out of my way!

981. It's okay.

982. You made it.

983. Don't worry.

984. It's just a movie.

985. It's just play.

986. - Doesn't feel like play, Billy. - I know. I know.

987. But it is.

988. Come here. Lie down.

989. You're almost there now.

990. You're almost dead.

991. Now you need to do exactly what I showed you.

992. You need to watch yourself through his eyes.

993. Can you do that for me now?

994. Yes.

995. Yes, I can, I can see him.

996. He's walking inside.

997. He's coming closer now.

998. I can see myself.

999. Billy.

1000. I don't wanna die.

1001. I don't wanna die, Billy.

1002. Billy, Billy,

1003. please don't leave me.

1004. Please don't leave me.

1005. I'm not going anywhere.

1006. Good morning, sleepy head.

1007. - Have you had these? - Uh-uh.

1008. Forget everything you know about Jolly Ranchers.

1009. These are like their complete own thing.

1010. What is this thing with brands doing gummies these days?

1011. You got your Airhead gummies, your Life Saver gummies,

1012. your Jolly Rancher gummies, your Starburst gummies.

1013. There's just so many gummies.

1014. I mean, we're living in the golden age of gummy candy.

1015. I think we are.

1016. But these are the best.

1017. - Oh, yeah? - Mm-hmm.

1018. Trust me.

1019. Alright. Put 'em in the basket.

1020. It's okay to fill the canister directly from the pump?

1021. Um, yeah, no problem.

1022. I like your guys' outfits.

1023. Thanks.

1024. I like your hair.

1025. Cool.

1026. Feels like we're standing...

1027. Hey!

1028. What's wrong?

1029. Are you alright?

1030. He's still down there, you know.

1031. At the bottom of the lake.

1032. He's still hungry.

1033. Can you feel it?

1034. He'll be back soon...

1035. to feed again.

1036. Do you think we're gonna do more of these?

1037. - Oh, if they had to. - Yeah.

1038. - Oh, oh, yeah— - Yeah.

1039. I always said I was never gonna come back for 'em.

1040. - Right. - You know,

1041. 'cause I thought there'd be bigger and better stuff, but...

1042. - Right. - Well, that didn't happen.