1. What's the big deal
with this book, anyway?Copy !req
2. It's apparently all deep, but I have
no idea what it's supposed to be about.Copy !req
3. It's... It's about alienation.Copy !req
4. An alien nation? What?
What chapter is that in?Copy !req
5. No, no. Alienation.Copy !req
6. It's about Ignatius
trying to find acceptanceCopy !req
7. in a world that wants
nothing to do with him.Copy !req
8. Well, maybe he would find acceptance
if he wasn't such a know-it-all?Copy !req
9. I think his showing off his intelligence
is just a way of protecting himself,Copy !req
10. which is kind of tragic becauseCopy !req
11. the alienation is
the source of his strength, but then—Copy !req
12. But it's also the source of his problems.Copy !req
13. - I think you're starting to get it.Copy !req
14. Um, I should probably go.Copy !req
15. Hey, look, you know...Copy !req
16. I know I've only known you
for, like, two minutes, but...Copy !req
17. would you maybe wanna...Copy !req
18. Would I maybe wanna what?Copy !req
19. Um, never... Never mind.Copy !req
20. Never... Never mind.Copy !req
21. You know that
really, really, really tall girlCopy !req
22. that you go to school with?Copy !req
23. The one that people call LeBron,
Skyscraper, Daddy Long Legs?Copy !req
24. Well, that's me.Copy !req
25. Sixteen years old, six foot one.Copy !req
26. And a half.Copy !req
27. Growing up, my height was
of immense concern to my father.Copy !req
28. Dr. Seeger,Copy !req
29. our daughter is three years old.Copy !req
30. She just reached four feet.Copy !req
31. It's not stopping.Copy !req
32. Can't we give her hormones?Copy !req
33. I read that diethylstilbestrol is very
effective in stunting a child's growth.Copy !req
34. Honey, I don't think it's good to take
anything with that many consonants.Copy !req
35. In some girls, diethylstilbestrol
has successfully stunted growth.Copy !req
36. You know, in others,
it's caused a host of health problems.Copy !req
37. Infertility being one of them.Copy !req
38. Honey, this may be
too soon to talk about, butCopy !req
39. do you even want kids?Copy !req
40. I continued to grow at a rapid pace.Copy !req
41. And guess what?Copy !req
42. Having back row, center placement
in all of your class photosCopy !req
43. isn't exactly a self-esteem booster.Copy !req
44. Now I'm just trying to get through the dayCopy !req
45. with as few people as possible
asking me...Copy !req
46. Well, how's the weather up there?Copy !req
47. You think your life is hard?Copy !req
48. I'm a high school junior
wearing size 13 Nikes.Copy !req
49. Men's size 13 Nikes.Copy !req
50. Beat that.Copy !req
51. Fareeda, how much longer
do I have to endure this?Copy !req
52. Just trying to start my next class off
on a high note.Copy !req
53. Well, I start every class off
on a high note.Copy !req
54. Wow.
Mocking yourself right out of the gate.Copy !req
55. Usually the self-deprecation
doesn't start until lunch.Copy !req
56. - How's the weather up there?
- Hey, what'd you say to my best friend?Copy !req
57. - Fareeda, please.
- Quick, you think you got jokes?Copy !req
58. Say some more funny stuff. Dazzle us.Copy !req
59. - I'm sorry, okay?
- No.Copy !req
60. No, you're not. See, I'm sorry.Copy !req
61. I'm sorry I'm such good friends
with the girlCopy !req
62. who constantly gets asked
that idiotic question ten times a day,Copy !req
63. because every time she hears it,Copy !req
64. it chips away another little
piece of her soul,Copy !req
65. which, in turn, chips away
another little piece of my soul.Copy !req
66. So, thank you, soul chipper.Copy !req
67. In fact, that's your new nickname.Copy !req
68. Soul Chipper.Copy !req
69. Honestly, what would you do without me?Copy !req
70. I shudder to think.Copy !req
71. Well, stand up straight. Walk tall.Copy !req
72. No slouching!Copy !req
73. How's the weather up there?Copy !req
74. And we're back.Copy !req
75. This is my super-hot
older sister, Harper,Copy !req
76. who's been winning beauty pageants
since she was six.Copy !req
77. She was spared the tall gene,Copy !req
78. - but at least there is some balance...Copy !req
79. in the genetic universe.Copy !req
80. She got Grandpa Larry's allergies.Copy !req
81. - What do you think of this one?
Hmm.Copy !req
82. Let me see it with the wave.Copy !req
83. I don't know.Copy !req
84. I feel like the competition has got a lot
more fierce since I was a contestant,Copy !req
85. so I think you need to step it up.Copy !req
86. So, Jodi.Copy !req
87. How's it goin'?Copy !req
88. Fine.Copy !req
89. You feeling okay?Copy !req
90. Like, no headaches,Copy !req
91. irregular heartbeats or unexplainable—Copy !req
92. Dad, I— I know that you live with
this constant fearCopy !req
93. that I'm just gonna
keep growing and growingCopy !req
94. until all of my vital organs explode,
but really,Copy !req
95. if I was gonna have major health problems,Copy !req
96. I think I would have had them by now.Copy !req
97. No, Yao Defen's osteoporosis
didn't show up till she was in college.Copy !req
98. She holds the recordCopy !req
99. for the world's tallest woman.
She died 2012, age 40.Copy !req
100. - So tragic.
- Okay, and why do you know that?Copy !req
101. And why would you bring it up at dinner?Copy !req
102. I'm just making conversation.Copy !req
103. About tall people dying young?Copy !req
104. Yeah, well, I gotta say something.Copy !req
105. She hardly talks to us anymore.
You just keep to yourself.Copy !req
106. I can't remember the last time
that you sat down at the piano.Copy !req
107. Why don't you play anymore?Copy !req
108. Is... Is it joint pain?Copy !req
109. No.Copy !req
110. It's...Copy !req
111. It's just because...Copy !req
112. when you're good at something,Copy !req
113. other people tend to wanna
watch you do it,Copy !req
114. and I don't need to give people
another reason to look at me.Copy !req
115. You just have to be strong
in the face of adversity.Copy !req
116. I mean, that's how
I got through high school.Copy !req
117. Mom, everyone loved you in high school.Copy !req
118. Oh.Copy !req
119. Ten guys asked you to prom.Copy !req
120. I mean, what adversity
did you face, exactly?Copy !req
121. Well, I was not popular with the girls
in my class because I was so beautiful.Copy !req
122. I mean, I had to say no to nine suitors.Copy !req
123. It was very stressful.Copy !req
124. It was a lot of pressure.
I was like, "No, no.Copy !req
125. Don't call again.
No. Maybe. Flirt a little.Copy !req
126. Flirty, flirty. Still no.Copy !req
127. No, no.Copy !req
128. Eh.Copy !req
129. No, no."Copy !req
130. Anyway, does that count as adversity?Copy !req
131. No, it doesn't.Copy !req
132. Okay.Copy !req
133. Oh! I love it! That's the one.Copy !req
134. But I have 27 more upstairs.Copy !req
135. No, no, no, don't even bother.
It's... It's perfect.Copy !req
136. You're perfect.Copy !req
137. That's really sweet,
but I'm actually really far...Copy !req
138. Ew. Ugh!Copy !req
139. You wanna wipe your hand.
Don't touch your dress with that hand.Copy !req
140. Get a tissue, please.Copy !req
141. Nine?Copy !req
142. Yes, nine!Copy !req
143. There was only 40 people in our class.Copy !req
144. This is Jack Dunkleman.Copy !req
145. And you may be asking, why is he
carrying his books in a milk crate?Copy !req
146. Well, I've been friends with him
for years,Copy !req
147. and that's still a mystery to me.Copy !req
148. What's even more of a mystery is why
he's crazy about someone twice his size.Copy !req
149. - Good mornin'.
- Hi.Copy !req
150. So David Blaine called me,
you'll never believe it.Copy !req
151. He wants to know when you and I
will make magic together.Copy !req
152. You do this every day.
Dunkleman, it's never gonna happen.Copy !req
153. I made you a smoothie.Copy !req
154. Okay, it would be weird.
We've known each other for so long,Copy !req
155. and dating a guy who's shorter than meCopy !req
156. would just draw more attention
to how much of a freak I am.Copy !req
157. Wait, but half the guys in this school
are shorter than you are.Copy !req
158. Hence my conundrum.Copy !req
159. Oh, ho, ho. I would love nothing more
than to hence your conundrum.Copy !req
160. All I'm saying is let your freak flag fly.Copy !req
161. Date a short guy. Wear high heels.
Do something crazy.Copy !req
162. They don't make heels in size 13 men's.Copy !req
163. Even if they did, I wouldn't wear them.Copy !req
164. Look, I know I don't have everything
on your perfect boyfriend checklist, okay?Copy !req
165. But, you know, I'd be willing to bet
I'm clocking in at around... 70%.Copy !req
166. Yeah, I mean, 60%.Copy !req
167. Mm...Copy !req
168. Fifty percent?Copy !req
169. It's a very specific checklist.Copy !req
170. I just think it's crazy
you won't go out with meCopy !req
171. just 'cause what?
You think that at any moment,Copy !req
172. some taller-than-you,Copy !req
173. funny, intelligent, nice, perfect guyCopy !req
174. is just gonna walk through that door?Copy !req
175. I mean, that's... Come on. That's crazy.Copy !req
176. Okay, class, listen up.Copy !req
177. We have a foreign exchange student
joining us today.Copy !req
178. He comes to us all the way from Sweden,Copy !req
179. and he'll be with us
the rest of the school year.Copy !req
180. So be nice and please welcome Stig Mohlin.Copy !req
181. Uh... Hey, hey...Copy !req
182. Okay, yeah, okay,
the guy is decent-looking.Copy !req
183. Yeah, that's, you know,
that's obvious, but,Copy !req
184. you know, you don't know him.
He's probably dumb as a...Copy !req
185. What's... What's he doing?Copy !req
186. Okay.Copy !req
187. He's perfect, yeah.Copy !req
188. He didn't even look at me, okay.Copy !req
189. It's the first time in my life that
I've ever wanted someone to look at me,Copy !req
190. and he doesn't.Copy !req
191. Because to him,
you're not a tall girl.Copy !req
192. I'm not?Copy !req
193. Jodi, the dude's from Sweden.Copy !req
194. It's an entire country filled with giants.Copy !req
195. To him, you're just another girl.Copy !req
196. - I'm going in. Teeth check?
- Ugh!Copy !req
197. - Huge piece of broccoli.
- Where?Copy !req
198. Liz, you're the worst.Copy !req
199. Go get him!Copy !req
200. Ugh, forever alone.Copy !req
201. Kimmy Stitcher.Copy !req
202. Travel enthusiast,
future real estate agent,Copy !req
203. or some other occupation
that involves her face on a bench,Copy !req
204. and one of my OTs...Copy !req
205. original tormentors since childhood.Copy !req
206. Look, guys.Copy !req
207. Jodi's hand is so big,
it doesn't even fit on the clay.Copy !req
208. We're gonna need more paint.Copy !req
209. Kimmy's funny!Copy !req
210. And that's why I want to be
just like Taylor Swift when I grow up.Copy !req
211. Taylor Swift? More like Taller Swift.Copy !req
212. Oh, that's a good one, Kimmy.Copy !req
213. Nice sweatpants, Sasquatch.Copy !req
214. Hey, new guy. I'm Kimmy.Copy !req
215. Well, Hi, Kimmy.Copy !req
216. - How're you liking America so far?
- Oh, I'm liking America very much so far.Copy !req
217. And America likes you very much.Copy !req
218. You speak Swedish?Copy !req
219. I speak a little Swedish.Copy !req
220. Picked up back in 2012
on a family vacay to Stockholm.Copy !req
221. Oh, it's so beautiful there, right?Copy !req
222. Yeah, America's great,
but I do know nothing about New Orleans.Copy !req
223. Consider me your cultural ambassador.Copy !req
224. Walk with me.Copy !req
225. Man, Kimmy works fast.Copy !req
226. I mean, the guy got out of Customs,
what, an hour ago,Copy !req
227. and she's already marking her territory.Copy !req
228. Jodi, Jodi, Jodi.Copy !req
229. Look, all right. I know you want to dateCopy !req
230. some guy that's, like,
taller than you and stuff,Copy !req
231. but if you think about it,Copy !req
232. there could be some major consequences.
You know, it could backfire big-time.Copy !req
233. Okay, backfire how?Copy !req
234. I'm glad you asked.
Let me paint you a word picture.Copy !req
235. How long is this picture gonna take?Copy !req
236. Just let me do my thing.Copy !req
237. So, let's say that
you and Stig date, okay?Copy !req
238. You, uh, fall in love,Copy !req
239. stick together through college,Copy !req
240. down the line you get married,
have a baby.Copy !req
241. And the combined strength
of your tall gene and his tall geneCopy !req
242. creates a zygote in your belly the size
of an above-average sized watermelon.Copy !req
243. Okay? So that would mean that
that puppy's coming out Caesarean.Copy !req
244. Through the side door. Do you really
wanna go through the rest your lifeCopy !req
245. with a big, old scar on that beautiful
torso of yours, 'cause, you know,Copy !req
246. it's what you're asking for.Copy !req
247. He makes a valid point.Copy !req
248. Surprise!Copy !req
249. Ha!Copy !req
250. Mom, what are you doing
with the jumbo Swede?Copy !req
251. Well, he's gonna be staying with us.
We're his host family.Copy !req
252. What?Copy !req
253. Yeah! I wanted to introduce myself to you
at school today,Copy !req
254. tell you the great news, but your mom
wanted it to be a surprise, so,Copy !req
255. - surprise!
- Surprise!Copy !req
256. - Got him.
- Why?Copy !req
257. Mom, why, why,
why would you do this?Copy !req
258. Because!Copy !req
259. With all the chaos going on
in the world today,Copy !req
260. there's never been a more vital time
for humanity to open our doorsCopy !req
261. to strangers from foreign lands.Copy !req
262. Mom, the '60s are over, okay?
And you weren't even in them.Copy !req
263. Oh, Stig, buddy,Copy !req
264. we're just...
we're gonna have to ship you back, man.Copy !req
265. This isn't a busted Xbox
you bought on eBay.Copy !req
266. This is a human being.Copy !req
267. A human being who wants to experience
what America is all about.Copy !req
268. You know what, Mom?Copy !req
269. You know what? What better way for him
to experience what America's all aboutCopy !req
270. than for us to just kick him out of it?Copy !req
271. You get in the car!Copy !req
272. But I sit shotgun.Copy !req
273. Now.Copy !req
274. What should we listen to?Copy !req
275. Wow. That is amazing.
That is really some talent you have there.Copy !req
276. Man, do I look fat on camera.Copy !req
277. Okay, for the next three weeks,
if you see me eating carbs,Copy !req
278. I need you to slap me across the face.Copy !req
279. No, I'm not doing that.Copy !req
280. Okay, and since when did you start
watching carbs?Copy !req
281. Since Teen Miss Louisiana.Copy !req
282. I'm not taking any chances.Copy !req
283. Okay, fine.Copy !req
284. Um, but I—
I need your help with something.Copy !req
285. Sure, what's up?Copy !req
286. Um...Copy !req
287. How do I get a guy to notice me?Copy !req
288. Oh,Copy !req
289. my...Copy !req
290. God!Copy !req
291. Okay, I've been waiting for this day
to come my entire life,Copy !req
292. and I never thought it would,
but I'm so glad it's finally here!Copy !req
293. - What day is that?Copy !req
294. Um, the day that you finally come
to your big sister and ask her about love.Copy !req
295. To finally embraceCopy !req
296. the sublime splendor that is a woman,
and to stop dressingCopy !req
297. like a, no offense, very large little boy.Copy !req
298. So are you gonna help me or not?Copy !req
299. I'm going to Extreme Makeover
the crap out of you.Copy !req
300. Okay.Copy !req
301. Who is he?Copy !req
302. He... he is an exchange student...Copy !req
303. - Uh-huh.
- ... from Sweden.Copy !req
304. - And, oh, my God, he is so cute.
- What did you just say?Copy !req
305. He is an exchange student.Copy !req
306. Just... What's wrong?Copy !req
307. Walk away.Copy !req
308. Excuse me?Copy !req
309. Just walk away and
forget we ever had this conversation.Copy !req
310. - Okay, but you literally—
- I said walk away, damn it!Copy !req
311. Wow, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
312. - Um...
- Yeah, that was—Copy !req
313. It's just, an exchange student...Copy !req
314. There's, uh, so many factors
working against you, you know.Copy !req
315. You meet.Copy !req
316. High visibility.Copy !req
317. Girls circling him like sharks on chum.Copy !req
318. You know, I snagged
an exchange student once.Copy !req
319. Diego.Copy !req
320. Paraguayan. Hairless.
Sweat smelled like cappuccino, light foam.Copy !req
321. All the girls wanted him. It was war.Copy !req
322. I felt like Custer at Battle of the Bulge.Copy !req
323. Yeah, Custer wasn't at
Battle of the Bulge.Copy !req
324. Yes, he was. I'm learning about him
right now in American History class.Copy !req
325. Nunez Community College makes you take
an American History class?Copy !req
326. A requirement for the Hotel Management
degree! The point is,Copy !req
327. if you want a guy to notice you,Copy !req
328. you'd have to be willing
to go all the way.Copy !req
329. I don't think you're willing.
Think you're ready to go all the way?Copy !req
330. I don't know what you're talking about.Copy !req
331. Then you just answered your own question.Copy !req
332. Ja, good morning, Dunkers!Copy !req
333. See you at breakfast.Copy !req
334. Look, man, I feel like we could be friends
if you just gave me a chance on this.Copy !req
335. Look, you're a nice enough guy.
But it's just not gonna work.Copy !req
336. Dunkers, man. Why not?Copy !req
337. Because I can't be seen around you.
And stop calling me Dunkers!Copy !req
338. Why can't you be seen with me?Copy !req
339. - You wanna know why?
- Yeah.Copy !req
340. You make me UBC.Copy !req
341. Ubc?Copy !req
342. No, you— Ugly by comparison.Copy !req
343. Look, when I'm not around you,Copy !req
344. I am a strong six, weak seven.Copy !req
345. But when I am around you,
I'm barely a three,Copy !req
346. like, barely.Copy !req
347. Yeah, but, dude,
I don't know anybody at school.Copy !req
348. Trust me, you're gonna have
no trouble making friends.Copy !req
349. Guys, come on.
He's not that attractive, is he?Copy !req
350. Yes.Copy !req
351. Well, try living with him.Copy !req
352. Okay.Copy !req
353. Well, this is about to get interesting.Copy !req
354. Wow.Copy !req
355. Like sharks to chum.Copy !req
356. I'm going in.Copy !req
357. You are?Copy !req
358. No, of course I'm not...Copy !req
359. going in.Copy !req
360. This is like watching a UFC cage match.Copy !req
361. But with less body slams
and more crop tops.Copy !req
362. Ladies.Copy !req
363. Oh, oh, oh, oh! And we have a winner! Ah!Copy !req
364. So, what's your next class?Copy !req
365. Uh, I'm going to Spanish.Copy !req
366. Would you like me to walk you to class?Copy !req
367. Uh, let me guess,Copy !req
368. you picked up Spanish
vacationing in Barcelona, right?Copy !req
369. Yes, Barcelona.Copy !req
370. Let's go!Copy !req
371. Okay.Copy !req
372. It's been over a week
and she hasn't left his side.Copy !req
373. Every time I see him, they're together.Copy !req
374. They eat lunch together,
they go to PE together,Copy !req
375. they walk home from school together
every day.Copy !req
376. I don't know how much more
I can take.Copy !req
377. Sounds like it's mostly just
eating and strolling.Copy !req
378. Could be a lot worse.Copy !req
379. This is worse.Copy !req
380. It's like I've been in love with this girl
since elementary school,Copy !req
381. and this new guy just steps in
and blows up my seven-year plan.Copy !req
382. Like, that's not cool,
and he's going to end up with Kimmy,Copy !req
383. and Jodi'll spend the rest of her life
pining for the one guy taller than her.Copy !req
384. And where does that leave me?Copy !req
385. Sometimes I wonder what it'd be like
to go to lunch with my friendsCopy !req
386. and have them ask me about my problems.Copy !req
387. Oh, and furthermore...Copy !req
388. - I've been looking at your painting...Copy !req
389. the past couple weeks,
and you got skills.Copy !req
390. A little Pollock, a little Monet,Copy !req
391. a touch of Rembrandt.Copy !req
392. Are you just naming artists you know?Copy !req
393. Da Vinci, Picasso, Matisse?Copy !req
394. Am I that obvious?Copy !req
395. Well, I like what you're doing
with the Van Gogh there.Copy !req
396. Oh, well, look who's
the artist-dropper now.Copy !req
397. Whatcha doing?Copy !req
398. Playing Pachelbel's "Canon"
on wine glassesCopy !req
399. may have been enough
to win Teen Miss New Orleans...Copy !req
400. but if I wanna win Teen Miss Louisiana,Copy !req
401. I gotta step up my game.Copy !req
402. Cool.Copy !req
403. So, um...Copy !req
404. I'm ready to go all the way.Copy !req
405. Then let's get to work.Copy !req
406. Okay.Copy !req
407. Jesus, Harper!Copy !req
408. You almost killed me.Copy !req
409. Hey, bro,
do you want this or not?Copy !req
410. - Lipstick.
Lady Danger.Copy !req
411. Mm, too vampy.Copy !req
412. - Crème Cup.
Not vampy enough.Copy !req
413. - Speak Louder.
Not vampy enough!Copy !req
414. No, no, no, that's just the name
of this one, Speak Louder.Copy !req
415. My bad.Copy !req
416. I look like Grandma's couch.Copy !req
417. Or a beautiful mermaid princess!Copy !req
418. Okay, no. Harper, no!Copy !req
419. Oh, that one.Copy !req
420. 187 Duo Brush!Copy !req
421. Goat fiber.Copy !req
422. Did you have to bring Mom along?Copy !req
423. Fixing you is a two-person job.Copy !req
424. You were awesome
on Good Morning New Orleans!Copy !req
425. Focus!Copy !req
426. Okay.Copy !req
427. Now we're talking!Copy !req
428. You look great.Copy !req
429. Thank you, Mom, but it's just...
It's not me.Copy !req
430. Okay.Copy !req
431. I would like to see some layers
around her faceCopy !req
432. to accentuate that fabulous
bone structure.Copy !req
433. Maybe an inch or two off in the back,
but leave the length,Copy !req
434. followed by some honey-blonde lowlights
all around.Copy !req
435. Jodi, what do you think?Copy !req
436. So you're telling me that a lip gloss
and a lip glass are two different things?Copy !req
437. Stop stressing, little sister.Copy !req
438. Tomorrow we're gonna bring
that little Swedish boy to his knees.Copy !req
439. - Not so sure about that.
- Jodi!Copy !req
440. Listen to me, okay?Copy !req
441. If I had that kind of attitude,Copy !req
442. I don't think I ever would've gotten
that job with the Hilton Corporation.Copy !req
443. You have an unpaid internship
at the Residence Inn.Copy !req
444. Silly.Copy !req
445. Now this is me.Copy !req
446. You look stunning.Copy !req
447. Hello?Copy !req
448. Hi, may I speak with Jodi, please?Copy !req
449. Uh, yeah. Yeah, this is Jodi.Copy !req
450. Hi, uh, my name's Stig. I'm the new
exchange student in your school.Copy !req
451. Hello?Copy !req
452. Uh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Hi. Hi. Um...Copy !req
453. Uh, how may I help you?Copy !req
454. Well, um,
I don't know many people at school,Copy !req
455. and you seem like a really nice person.Copy !req
456. I was hoping
if you didn't have a date yet,Copy !req
457. you'd want to go with me
to the Homecoming dance.Copy !req
458. Yeah, yeah, sure, sure.Copy !req
459. I mean, going out with you would be,
you know, splendiferous.Copy !req
460. Now— Now, that's a word you don't hear
nearly enough of, um...Copy !req
461. So— So, I'm guessing that
Dunkleman gave you my number?Copy !req
462. No, no. I just looked it up in
the phone book under "Big, ugly giraffe"!Copy !req
463. Schnipper.Copy !req
464. Gotcha.Copy !req
465. Okay, what the hell is wrong with you?Copy !req
466. Oh, don't be so best supporting actress.Copy !req
467. I saw the way you were looking at Stig
in art class.Copy !req
468. Your jaw was practically on the floor.Copy !req
469. So, Schnipper and I just thought
we'd have a little fun.Copy !req
470. What up?Copy !req
471. Besides, you really don't think a guy
as hot as Stig would be into you, do you?Copy !req
472. I mean, let's face it, Jodi.Copy !req
473. You're the tall girl.
You'll never be the pretty girl.Copy !req
474. Yeah, well.Copy !req
475. - What is taking so long?
Honey, relax.Copy !req
476. There's a whole outfit.Copy !req
477. There's makeup, there's hair.
It's a process.Copy !req
478. Yeah. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
479. Wow!Copy !req
480. - She looks exactly the same, right?Copy !req
481. - Yes!
- Yeah.Copy !req
482. - Hey! What up, Stig?
- Ah, not much, Jake!Copy !req
483. You became real popular real fast.Copy !req
484. - Hey, Stig.
- Oh, hi, Sheila!Copy !req
485. Okay, like, really, really fast.Copy !req
486. Jeez, it's one week
and everyone knows your name?Copy !req
487. - Yeah, it's—
- And you're dating Kimmy.Copy !req
488. Right? I still don't get why everyone
wants to be friends with me.Copy !req
489. Or why a girl as pretty as Kimmy
would want to date me.Copy !req
490. What are you talking about?Copy !req
491. Well, look at me.Copy !req
492. Yeah?Copy !req
493. I'm a dork.Copy !req
494. What do you mean?Copy !req
495. It's kind of embarrassing,
but in my high school back home,Copy !req
496. there's all these super good-looking,
super popular, tall guys, you know?Copy !req
497. I'm not one of them.Copy !req
498. I'm sorry, what you're telling me
is that in your home country,Copy !req
499. this, all this...Copy !req
500. This is ugly?Copy !req
501. Oh, yeah, of course, man.Copy !req
502. No, that can't be right.Copy !req
503. Why?Copy !req
504. Well, it's just, you know, if that's true,
then that makes you the me of Sweden.Copy !req
505. I am?Copy !req
506. Man, that's trippy.Copy !req
507. If I'm the you of Sweden, then, I mean...Copy !req
508. who am I here?Copy !req
509. Well, who's the most popular,
good-looking guy at your school?Copy !req
510. The guy that all the girls want to date
and, you know,Copy !req
511. - everyone wants to be friends with?
- Ingvar Krueger.Copy !req
512. That's you here.Copy !req
513. You're Ingvar Krueger.Copy !req
514. I'm Ingvar Krueger.Copy !req
515. - I'm Ingvar Krueger, Dunkers!
- Yeah, that's what I'm saying, man.Copy !req
516. Man, I'd be, um, screwed in Sweden, huh?Copy !req
517. Yeah, but it's all right.Copy !req
518. Out. Now.Copy !req
519. Excuse me. I'm reading.Copy !req
520. You're hiding.Copy !req
521. I don't want to run into Kimmy.Copy !req
522. She prank called you, Jodi.Copy !req
523. So what?Copy !req
524. Easy for you to say.
Okay, nothing rattles you.Copy !req
525. Plenty of stuff rattles me.
I just roll with it.Copy !req
526. Well, this is how I roll.Copy !req
527. I like your outfit, by the way.Copy !req
528. Might be one of your best designs.Copy !req
529. Don't change the subject.Copy !req
530. Okay, Gulliver,
let's see what trouble you get into next.Copy !req
531. One day, Jodi, one day
when you get picked on and made fun of,Copy !req
532. you're not gonna hide in a bathroom stall.Copy !req
533. You're gonna stand up and say,
"This is me.Copy !req
534. I love all 73 inches of myself,Copy !req
535. and there's nothing you can do
that will change that."Copy !req
536. That is my wish for you.Copy !req
537. I just hope I'm there to see it.Copy !req
538. You're not seriously flushing the toilet
to avoid having this conversa...Copy !req
539. Did you want to use the piano?Copy !req
540. I have a few minutes before my next class,
so I'm just in here messing around a bit.Copy !req
541. No, no, no, go ahead. Go ahead.Copy !req
542. - Yeah.
- I suck.Copy !req
543. Relax your hands.Copy !req
544. I'm sorry, what?Copy !req
545. Y— You're just trying so hard
to hit the right notesCopy !req
546. that your fingers are tensing up.Copy !req
547. So just relax your hands.Copy !req
548. All right. Relax.Copy !req
549. Right.Copy !req
550. Not bad.Copy !req
551. It's better.Copy !req
552. Yeah. Wow, thank you.Copy !req
553. You should play something now.Copy !req
554. - No, no, I don't really play much anymore.
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
555. I mean, I have a feeling that
you're probably better at this than I am.Copy !req
556. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm okay,Copy !req
557. but only because of these.Copy !req
558. Your hands?Copy !req
559. Yeah, I would hope that you use
your hands to play the piano.Copy !req
560. No, no, I— I mean, um...Copy !req
561. That's why there are more male
classical pianists than female.Copy !req
562. You know, bigger hands, they move faster,
cover more ground, so...Copy !req
563. Lucky me. My hands...Copy !req
564. Could I— Can I see 'em?Copy !req
565. Yeah.Copy !req
566. Yeah. You've got big hands.Copy !req
567. So you probably could play this,
then, right?Copy !req
568. It's Guys and Dolls,
it's my favorite musical.Copy !req
569. - Me, too. It's a classic.
- Really?Copy !req
570. - You like musicals? Oh, my God.
- I do.Copy !req
571. You should have seen me in Sweden.
I was in Cats.Copy !req
572. - Oh, my God, me, too!
- No, were you really?Copy !req
573. No.Copy !req
574. No, I— I don't know
why I said that, actually.Copy !req
575. But you should play this with me.Copy !req
576. Come on. Here.Copy !req
577. Relax your hands.Copy !req
578. I got that one. Thanks.Copy !req
579. Fantastic.Copy !req
580. Kimmy. Hi.Copy !req
581. Been looking for you. I thought
we were walking to class together.Copy !req
582. Yeah, yeah, we're just having a little,
uh, impromptu concert here with, um...Copy !req
583. Jodi.Copy !req
584. Uh, Jodi.
It's— It's nice to formally meet you.Copy !req
585. I'm, uh, I'm Stig,
and, uh, this is my girlfriend, Kimmy.Copy !req
586. Girlfriend?Copy !req
587. Yeah. Girlfriend, girlfriend.Copy !req
588. Had the talk last night, made it offish.Copy !req
589. Stiggy, baby, would you mind
getting Mama a Diet Slice before class?Copy !req
590. Yeah. Sure.Copy !req
591. See ya, Jodi.Copy !req
592. - What are you playing at, beanstalk?
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
593. - You're moving in on my man.
- No, I'm not.Copy !req
594. So it's a coincidence the two of you
happened to be here together?Copy !req
595. - Yeah.
- Stay away from him.Copy !req
596. I will.Copy !req
597. Stig and I will be
Homecoming king and queen.Copy !req
598. I don't doubt it.Copy !req
599. - Stop agreeing with everything I'm saying!
- Okay.Copy !req
600. Ugh!Copy !req
601. Hm. Excuse me.Copy !req
602. Hey.Copy !req
603. Dad, what is going on?Copy !req
604. What do you mean?Copy !req
605. I mean, why is our house filled with
a bunch of ridiculously tall people?Copy !req
606. Who are they?Copy !req
607. Oh, just some friends that I invited over
for a little get-together.Copy !req
608. Okay, well, why are all your friends
wearing hats that say "Tip Toppers"?Copy !req
609. Well, that's becauseCopy !req
610. they are not only a group of friends,Copy !req
611. but they're also, you know, like, a group.Copy !req
612. You mean a club.Copy !req
613. No. Not a club.Copy !req
614. Clubs are lame. Ugh.Copy !req
615. Crystal Spitz, Chairmen of the Tip ToppersCopy !req
616. seven years running,
and it's about to be eightCopy !req
617. unless Bob Brickman over there
beats me in the next election.Copy !req
618. Which you won't, Bob!Copy !req
619. Oh, we'll see, Crystal.Copy !req
620. Anyhow, your parents were so kindCopy !req
621. to open up their home for us
for our weekly chapter meeting.Copy !req
622. Chapter meeting for what?Copy !req
623. For our tall club.Copy !req
624. Tall club? The Tip Toppers is a tall club?Copy !req
625. Tall Club International has over
200 chapters in the US alone.Copy !req
626. The Tip Toppers are the third-largest,Copy !req
627. although, with our newest member...Copy !req
628. - No, no, no.
- ... bringing up the tally to 24,Copy !req
629. we are now officially tied for second!Copy !req
630. Tip Toppers, I think you need
to sing your theme song!Copy !req
631. No, no, no, Tip Toppers.Copy !req
632. Jodi, come on, don't be mad at me.Copy !req
633. Look, I...Copy !req
634. I thought it would be nice
hanging out with other tall people.Copy !req
635. And— And then you could see
that they're perfectly okay being tall.Copy !req
636. Being tall sucks.Copy !req
637. Seriously.
I only come to these meetings for, like,Copy !req
638. the free food and the guys.Copy !req
639. Bathroom's this way, right?Copy !req
640. Ow!Copy !req
641. Jodi,Copy !req
642. I just want you to feel normal.Copy !req
643. Don't you realizeCopy !req
644. that— that every time you try
to make me feel more normal,Copy !req
645. you just end up making me feel like
more of a freak?Copy !req
646. Height reduction surgery.Copy !req
647. Let's see.Copy !req
648. Costs $150,000.Copy !req
649. "But I know a guy in India
who will do it for cheap."Copy !req
650. "Very long recovery time,
extremely painful,Copy !req
651. but when I learned to walk again,
it was worth it."Copy !req
652. Why couldn't I have just been normal?Copy !req
653. Hello?Copy !req
654. Hi, Jodi, this is Stig from school.Copy !req
655. You know what, Schnipper?Copy !req
656. You really chose the wrong day
to mess with me, okay?Copy !req
657. The next time I see you,
I'm gonna take my size 13 NikesCopy !req
658. and I'm gonna kick you in the nards hard.Copy !req
659. Okay, do— do you understand me?Copy !req
660. My big feet plus your tiny little nards
equals pain.Copy !req
661. And, uh, and, um...Copy !req
662. This really is Stig,Copy !req
663. isn't it?Copy !req
664. Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
665. I'm— I'm really sorry. I, um...Copy !req
666. I thought that you were someone else.Copy !req
667. Oh, it's okay. I, um...Copy !req
668. I hope I'm not bothering you.
I— I just wanted to know if...Copy !req
669. if maybe you wanted to come over tonight
and watch a musical with me.Copy !req
670. Oh, my God.Copy !req
671. Jodi?Copy !req
672. Hi.Copy !req
673. How's it goin'?Copy !req
674. Who's at the door?Copy !req
675. Not now!Copy !req
676. Uh, sorry, sorry, just my, uh,Copy !req
677. Battle Royale partner,
Shoshi from Okinawa, but hey.Copy !req
678. Hi.Copy !req
679. I look ridiculous, don't I?Copy !req
680. - I— I'm gonna go.
- What?Copy !req
681. No, no, no, you don't look ridiculous.
You look...Copy !req
682. You... You look amazing.Copy !req
683. - Really?
- Yeah, I...Copy !req
684. I'm just shocked. You look
a little overdressed for a study night.Copy !req
685. Ah, Jodi, hey.Copy !req
686. Wow, hi.Copy !req
687. - Hi.
Wow.Copy !req
688. Um, thanks for coming over.Copy !req
689. Thanks for inviting me.Copy !req
690. Please come in.Copy !req
691. Bye, Dunk.Copy !req
692. That was painful.Copy !req
693. Who asked you?Copy !req
694. Oh, you guys watching this?Copy !req
695. Yeah.Copy !req
696. Okay.Copy !req
697. Who laughs at your jokes?Copy !req
698. I'm so silly.Copy !req
699. Salsa.Copy !req
700. Forgot.Copy !req
701. Be right back, guys.Copy !req
702. I'm so sorry.Copy !req
703. It's fine.Copy !req
704. I see a lot of ingredients here
that I can useCopy !req
705. for a nice little smoothie.Copy !req
706. Fruits and such.Copy !req
707. Hit the gym today, so I'll throw
some protein powder in there.Copy !req
708. That's always good.Copy !req
709. Get those gains.Copy !req
710. He doesn't seem to want to leave us alone.Copy !req
711. Appears that way, yeah.Copy !req
712. Do you think maybe I should just ask
if, you know...Copy !req
713. Yeah, I think that'd be a good idea.Copy !req
714. Hey, Dunkers.Copy !req
715. Yeah?Copy !req
716. - Yeah, pal?
- Do you want to watch the movie with us?Copy !req
717. Pfft! Well...
No, I don't want to... Eh, okay.Copy !req
718. That's such a great idea!Copy !req
719. All right, cozy time. That's good.Copy !req
720. It's super cozy.Copy !req
721. Pssh. Where you going?Copy !req
722. - Oh.Copy !req
723. But if... If I just, like...Copy !req
724. Yeah.Copy !req
725. Um...Copy !req
726. There we go.Copy !req
727. Yeah.Copy !req
728. That's better.Copy !req
729. So, um, where's your girlfriend tonight?Copy !req
730. At some party.Copy !req
731. Probably.Copy !req
732. And, um...Copy !req
733. you're my only friend
I'd want to watch a musical with, so...Copy !req
734. Yeah, right.Copy !req
735. She's so pretty...Copy !req
736. Kimmy.Copy !req
737. But she can be so insecure sometimes,
you know?Copy !req
738. - Insecure?
- Yeah.Copy !req
739. After she saw us together
in the music room,Copy !req
740. she just kept saying, like,Copy !req
741. "Oh, was it really coincidence
that you two were together?Copy !req
742. Do you think she's prettier than me?"Copy !req
743. Okay, Kimmy Stitcher is not insecure
about anything or anyone,Copy !req
744. especially not me.Copy !req
745. I mean, why— why wouldn't she be?Copy !req
746. Because there's nothing
to be insecure about.Copy !req
747. I mean, Kimmy's... She's perfect.Copy !req
748. I'm... this.Copy !req
749. Are you serious? Being tall is great.Copy !req
750. Being a tall guy is— is great, but...Copy !req
751. when you're tall girl, it's—
it's the only thing that people see.Copy !req
752. It's not the only thing I see.Copy !req
753. What do you see?Copy !req
754. I don't know.Copy !req
755. It's not a tall girl.Copy !req
756. Just a girl.Copy !req
757. A really smart, fun,Copy !req
758. unique...Copy !req
759. beautiful girl.Copy !req
760. I— I'm sorry.Copy !req
761. I'm not.Copy !req
762. - Good evening, sister.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
763. What are you wearing?Copy !req
764. Allie McKinney, Miss Teen Florida 1993,Copy !req
765. states in her autobiography,
The Crowning Achievement,Copy !req
766. that the key to a perfect-fitting dress is
to buy one that is three sizes too smallCopy !req
767. and to wear it two hours a dayCopy !req
768. one week before the event
to fit it to your exact body size.Copy !req
769. Can you even breathe in that thing?Copy !req
770. Just forget about whether or not—Copy !req
771. Forget about whether or not I can breathe.Copy !req
772. Okay.Copy !req
773. What happened with the Swede?Copy !req
774. Uh, we just watched a movie.Copy !req
775. Okay, yeah.Copy !req
776. And then he invited Dunkleman
to watch it with us.Copy !req
777. Oh.Copy !req
778. And then, uh...Copy !req
779. he called me his friend.Copy !req
780. And then, uh...Copy !req
781. then I kissed him.Copy !req
782. Wait.Copy !req
783. After all that,Copy !req
784. you kissed him?Copy !req
785. Mm-hm.Copy !req
786. Yeah.Copy !req
787. Who are you?Copy !req
788. I don't know. I mean, I wasn't planning
on kissing another girl's boyfriend,Copy !req
789. I mean, even if that girl is Kimmy, butCopy !req
790. that's not me. I'm not the other woman.Copy !req
791. I mean, I'm barely a woman.Copy !req
792. The situation is getting very ugly,
very fast.Copy !req
793. Why do you have to gaze out the window
when you're talking to me?Copy !req
794. We're in uncharted territory now.Copy !req
795. I mean,
if Kimmy ever found out about this—Copy !req
796. Is that an English muffin?Copy !req
797. No.Copy !req
798. It's not an English muffin.Copy !req
799. Don't...Copy !req
800. I just...Copy !req
801. Did you just slap me?Copy !req
802. You told me to slap you
if I ever saw you eating carbs.Copy !req
803. I did, but I didn't expect you
to actually do it.Copy !req
804. - What if you left a permanent mark?
- Okay, stop talking about yourself,Copy !req
805. and tell me how to undo what I just did.Copy !req
806. You— You can't undo it.Copy !req
807. You kissed him, and he kissed you back,Copy !req
808. which means girlfriend or not,
you've got a shot at this.Copy !req
809. You are forging ahead.
You are in the game.Copy !req
810. Just like General Custer.Copy !req
811. General Custer,Copy !req
812. not who you think he is!Copy !req
813. Hey, Dunkers.Copy !req
814. Are you awake?Copy !req
815. What? Yeah.Copy !req
816. Yeah, man, what's up?Copy !req
817. I have to confess something.Copy !req
818. I cheated on Kimmy tonight.Copy !req
819. With Jodi, and she kissed me,Copy !req
820. and I kissed her back, and I...Copy !req
821. I didn't pull away.Copy !req
822. Am I a horrible person?Copy !req
823. No, man.Copy !req
824. No. People...Copy !req
825. These things happen.
People have minor lapses in judgment.Copy !req
826. How was it?Copy !req
827. It was different than when I kiss Kimmy.Copy !req
828. It was really good, Dunkers.
It was intense andCopy !req
829. - passionate, and I could feel her heart—
- Cool.Copy !req
830. That's enough, you can stop now.Copy !req
831. So what should I do?Copy !req
832. Uh... You know, man, look.Copy !req
833. Well...Copy !req
834. You're already in a relationship,
you know, so...Copy !req
835. So, um...Copy !req
836. I think you should probably
just focus on, you know,Copy !req
837. nurturing, caring for and continuing...Copy !req
838. that relationship.Copy !req
839. Right, but Dunkers, what if I like Jodi
more than I like Kimmy?Copy !req
840. Are you okay?Copy !req
841. Yeah. I'm fine.Copy !req
842. Good.Copy !req
843. Look, man, Jodi— Jodi's great.Copy !req
844. Yeah.Copy !req
845. And, you know, she smells...Copy !req
846. like a late August midday sun-shower,Copy !req
847. and she's got skin like sweet,
buttery whipped cream, but...Copy !req
848. You, my friend, are dating the hottest,Copy !req
849. most popular, most sought-after girl
in the whole school, so,Copy !req
850. you know, if you keep that up,
you're in line to be Homecoming King.Copy !req
851. That's a— You know, we don't
take that lightly around here.Copy !req
852. Right.Copy !req
853. Soon enough, you'll be back in SwedenCopy !req
854. and, you know,
you'll be living my life again. Ugh!Copy !req
855. Right? So you should take advantage
of the moment, man.Copy !req
856. This is your chance to be Ingvar Krueger.Copy !req
857. - Right.
- Yeah.Copy !req
858. - But here's the thing.
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
859. - I could still be friends with Jodi?
- Eh...Copy !req
860. - Really? No?
- I...Copy !req
861. I just think you might be...
That might lead her on,Copy !req
862. you know, and it's probably best
for you to cut things off,Copy !req
863. just cold turkey.Copy !req
864. You know, it's the American way.Copy !req
865. Yes.Copy !req
866. All right.Copy !req
867. - I'm— I'm glad I have you, man.
- Yeah.Copy !req
868. I appreciate your honesty.
That means a lot to me.Copy !req
869. Mm-hm.Copy !req
870. You kissed Stig?Copy !req
871. Could you keep your voice down?Copy !req
872. - Am I shouting?
- Yes.Copy !req
873. Sorry. But it's a big deal,
your first kiss!Copy !req
874. So how was it? Give me the deets.Copy !req
875. Pretty perfect.Copy !req
876. I mean, other than the fact
that he's dating someone else.Copy !req
877. But am I a terrible person?Copy !req
878. No, you're not. She is.Copy !req
879. She doesn't deserve him. You do.Copy !req
880. And I gotta say,Copy !req
881. I like new Jodi.Copy !req
882. New Jodi?Copy !req
883. "Face your fears" Jodi.
"Going after what you want" Jodi.Copy !req
884. "Look at me 'cause I look good" Jodi.Copy !req
885. it's about time you start following
your own advice.Copy !req
886. And when did I ever give that advice?Copy !req
887. To me. When you convinced me
to stand up to my parentsCopy !req
888. and tell them I wanted to go to fashion
school instead of becoming a doctor.Copy !req
889. Ah. Right.Copy !req
890. Do you think they're ever gonna
forgive me about that?Copy !req
891. Oh, no. You're dead to them.Copy !req
892. What's that girl trying to prove?Copy !req
893. What, does she think makeup and
a new haircut's gonna make her less ugly?Copy !req
894. Do you think she's less ugly?Copy !req
895. Uh, no, no. No. She's, like, you know,
the same amount of ugly, right?Copy !req
896. You're lying.Copy !req
897. Huh?Copy !req
898. All right, yeah. I mean, look at her.Copy !req
899. Look at her, she's so confident
and feeling herself and...Copy !req
900. She's like an independent woman
with golden locks.Copy !req
901. She looks kinda hot.Copy !req
902. Look, you better watch your back.Copy !req
903. She should watch hers.Copy !req
904. Here he comes.Copy !req
905. What happened last night?
You didn't respond to my text messages.Copy !req
906. Uh...Copy !req
907. Yeah, that was funny, actually.Copy !req
908. I— I left my phone on "off".Copy !req
909. Mm.Copy !req
910. Silent, I mean.Copy !req
911. No, I think it might be broken.Copy !req
912. Oh! Dunkers, man! We got a spot.Copy !req
913. Uh, no, that's fine. I'm just gonna—Copy !req
914. No, you're coming over here. Come on.Copy !req
915. Okay.Copy !req
916. This is my roommate. This is Dunkers.Copy !req
917. Yeah, uh, well, my name's Dunkleman,Copy !req
918. and I feel like I'm more of a landlord
than a roommate, so...Copy !req
919. Landlord! You're so funny.Copy !req
920. He's actually very funny.Copy !req
921. He does these impressions of people.Copy !req
922. What, impressions?Copy !req
923. - I don't think—
- The chef one.Copy !req
924. Gordon Ramsay.Copy !req
925. - I don't do—
Let's see it.Copy !req
926. - Mm-hm.
- Let's see it!Copy !req
927. - He's so good at this.
- Yeah, Gordon Ramsay.Copy !req
928. He's like, "You've
been braising that turkey for 15 minutes.Copy !req
929. Where's the lamb sauce?"Copy !req
930. No, do it. Come on, here. With this.Copy !req
931. - Oh, with the sushi?
- Yeah. Please.Copy !req
932. "Me nan could make
better sushi than this, and she's blind"!Copy !req
933. - Do the sandwich!
- "You donut."Copy !req
934. This, I actually love the sandwich bit.Copy !req
935. "What are you"?
- I don't know!Copy !req
936. "An idiot sandwich"!Copy !req
937. Kevin Hart, Kevin Hart!Copy !req
938. Sure, yeah, Kevin.
- In Sweden, they're crazy about this guy.Copy !req
939. All right, all right, all right!Copy !req
940. Yeah, you know Kevin, how he does that?Copy !req
941. That's not a Matthew McConaughey thing.
Kevin did it first, actually.Copy !req
942. You know, walk up to him and he's like...Copy !req
943. What am I watching?Copy !req
944. Unclear.Copy !req
945. You're not really gonna eat Glutio's,
are you?Copy !req
946. They taste like sawdust.Copy !req
947. Well, I can't have gluten and so,
you know, kid's gotta snack.Copy !req
948. How about... Try one of these?Copy !req
949. You're gluten-free?Copy !req
950. Since 2012, baby.Copy !req
951. All right.Copy !req
952. Hold up, no. That is not gluten-free.Copy !req
953. - Who makes these?
- Girls Gone Vegan on Chestnut Street.Copy !req
954. I'll take you.Copy !req
955. Where have you been my whole life?Copy !req
956. - I was talking to the cookie.
- Cookie. Yeah. Okay.Copy !req
957. Keep it.Copy !req
958. So, what, am I not cool enough for you
to sit and have lunch with anymore?Copy !req
959. No, I was just, um...Copy !req
960. Stig asked me to sit by him for lunch,
and I didn't want to be rude.Copy !req
961. Did he say anything to you
about me recently?Copy !req
962. - Like what?
- I don't know.Copy !req
963. He just avoided me all day today, and I
thought we had a fun night last night.Copy !req
964. - Yeah, I bet you did.
- Excuse me?Copy !req
965. What? Nothing.Copy !req
966. He did say something. What did he say?Copy !req
967. - I don't know.
- Excuse me, I'm talking to you.Copy !req
968. What did he tell you?Copy !req
969. - Well, he said you guys kissed, okay?
- He what?Copy !req
970. You're going after a taken man, Jodi.Copy !req
971. There's plenty of other guys out there,
available ones.Copy !req
972. Just tell me what he said.Copy !req
973. He said he didn't know who he liked more,
you or Kimmy.Copy !req
974. He said that? Then what'd you say?Copy !req
975. I merely implied that, you know,
maybe he should focus on the relationshipCopy !req
976. he's already in with Kimmy.Copy !req
977. Oh, so you're looking out for Kimmy now?
I thought you're supposed to be my friend.Copy !req
978. I am your friend.Copy !req
979. But if you can't have me, nobody can,
isn't that the idea?Copy !req
980. Jodi, don't flatter yourself.Copy !req
981. I actually have a date with Liz
to go to a gluten-free bakery.Copy !req
982. Mm. The start of the beginning
of no great love story ever.Copy !req
983. You may find this hard to believe,
but I care about youCopy !req
984. and I just want to make sure
that you don't get hurt.Copy !req
985. Ow!Copy !req
986. What's happened to you?Copy !req
987. Biking's for losers.Copy !req
988. Hey, can I...Copy !req
989. Can I talk to you?Copy !req
990. Yeah, sure. Come in.Copy !req
991. So, uh...Copy !req
992. What's up?Copy !req
993. Oh, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry
that I kissed you last night.Copy !req
994. - Oh, uh, that's okay.
- No.Copy !req
995. It's not. I mean, you have a girlfriend,
and I basically threw myself at you,Copy !req
996. which is probably why you...
blew me off today.Copy !req
997. I just didn't know what to say, honestly.Copy !req
998. No, no, no,
you don't have to say anything.Copy !req
999. You know, in fact, feel free
to just keep blowing me off.Copy !req
1000. Really?Copy !req
1001. - Yeah.
- Why?Copy !req
1002. Because if you don't, then I'm just gonna
get my hopes up about happy endingsCopy !req
1003. that only happen in movies
with actresses that are under six feet.Copy !req
1004. I— I'd still like to be friends,
Jodi, at least.Copy !req
1005. Right, yeah. Friends, like,Copy !req
1006. let's just forget that we kissed
and move onCopy !req
1007. - like nothing ever happened.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1008. - We could do that, right?
- Right.Copy !req
1009. Yeah, yeah, totally.Copy !req
1010. Oh, great.Copy !req
1011. - Yeah, great.
- Good, good.Copy !req
1012. - Awesome.
- Um...Copy !req
1013. - I...Copy !req
1014. High five.Copy !req
1015. - Pfft. Higher five.
- Oh.Copy !req
1016. Okay, so then how did this end?Copy !req
1017. Other than a few scratches, he's fine,Copy !req
1018. but we're not on speaking terms
at the moment.Copy !req
1019. - Is this your first fight ever?
- I think so.Copy !req
1020. He didn't even start the day off
with one of his cheesy pickup lines.Copy !req
1021. So what are you gonna do
about Stig?Copy !req
1022. Nothing. He made his choice.Copy !req
1023. You don't need him. There'll be more.Copy !req
1024. Yeah, well,Copy !req
1025. me not getting the guy was always
how this was supposed to end.Copy !req
1026. Forget about them.Copy !req
1027. Let's go dance.Copy !req
1028. Jodi.Copy !req
1029. Get in here.Copy !req
1030. Pass.Copy !req
1031. Not dancing to your high school marching
band before homecoming is bad juju.Copy !req
1032. I'll risk it.Copy !req
1033. Hey, Jodi.Copy !req
1034. We need to talk.Copy !req
1035. About what?Copy !req
1036. About a guy.Copy !req
1037. It's come to my attention,
is very into you.Copy !req
1038. - Look, I did not mean for anything—
- Schnipper.Copy !req
1039. Schnipper?Copy !req
1040. He digs your new look.Copy !req
1041. We're all going
to the escape room on Friday,Copy !req
1042. and you should come.Copy !req
1043. Okay, I'm not falling
for another one of your tricks.Copy !req
1044. It's not a trick.
He told me to come over and invite you.Copy !req
1045. And why should I believe you?Copy !req
1046. 'Cause I know I haven't always been
the nicest to you,Copy !req
1047. but consider this
my way of making it up to you.Copy !req
1048. Bye.Copy !req
1049. What did that biatch want?Copy !req
1050. She just invited me to hang out
Friday night.Copy !req
1051. - Why?
- Because apparently Schnipper likes me.Copy !req
1052. - They're messing with you again.
- Yeah. That's what I thought.Copy !req
1053. But she sounded kind of genuine.Copy !req
1054. Oh, you're dreaming.Copy !req
1055. Is it really that hard to believe
that Schnipper would like me?Copy !req
1056. Yes.Copy !req
1057. All the guy does is make fun of you.Copy !req
1058. And even if it were true, why would you
wanna go out with Schnipper?Copy !req
1059. Maybe if Stig saw that I moved on,
he would realize that he made a mistake.Copy !req
1060. Okay, but we have tickets to
Tank and the Bangas on Friday.Copy !req
1061. And I'm sure you can find
someone else to go with.Copy !req
1062. Wow, so now you're flaking on me?Copy !req
1063. Why are you giving me
such a hard time about this?Copy !req
1064. Why are you acting so crazy over a guy
who, you just admitted two minutes ago,Copy !req
1065. was never going to happen?Copy !req
1066. Do you really need validation that badly?Copy !req
1067. If you're not going to have my back,Copy !req
1068. I would really just prefer
you keep your opinions to yourself.Copy !req
1069. Don't worry, I will.Copy !req
1070. WelcomeCopy !req
1071. to Maison Voodoo.Copy !req
1072. It was thereCopy !req
1073. where me and my entire clan were murderedCopy !req
1074. just last night.Copy !req
1075. Now, you have exactly one hour—Copy !req
1076. To hunt for clues, find the killer,
meet the same fate, blah, blah, blah.Copy !req
1077. It's not our first rodeo. Just let us in.Copy !req
1078. Whatever. I get paid either way.Copy !req
1079. Uh, wait right there.Copy !req
1080. So, where's
the Homecoming hangout this year?Copy !req
1081. Uh...Copy !req
1082. I mean, well, my mom's going out of town
on a yoga retreat that weekend,Copy !req
1083. so I guess I can have
a little get-together at mine.Copy !req
1084. - Are you serious?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1085. That's perfect.Copy !req
1086. Party at Dunkleman's!Copy !req
1087. No, no, get-together.Copy !req
1088. - Party!
- Get-together!Copy !req
1089. - Get-together.
- Party, party, party! Party.Copy !req
1090. Get-together. I said...
You guys heard me, right?Copy !req
1091. - It's a party.
- Get...Copy !req
1092. - Hello?
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
1093. What?Copy !req
1094. Oh. Uh, okay. All right.Copy !req
1095. First clue's in the parlor upstairs.Copy !req
1096. Stiggy. Stiggy, come on.Copy !req
1097. So, since when do you throw parties
or get-togethers?Copy !req
1098. Well, I'm hanging out with
a pretty popular crew now,Copy !req
1099. so it's sort of expected of me.Copy !req
1100. - Wow, good for you.
- Thank you.Copy !req
1101. Guys, I'm tired.Copy !req
1102. Let's take a break.Copy !req
1103. - But we only have 12 minutes left.
Plenty of time to escape.Copy !req
1104. Plus we have this whole room to ourselves.
Might as well take advantage of it.Copy !req
1105. Hey.Copy !req
1106. Okay, yeah.Copy !req
1107. I can't do this.Copy !req
1108. Why not? You guys make such a cute couple.Copy !req
1109. Okay, I'm gonna— I'm gonna go.Copy !req
1110. Not the way out.Copy !req
1111. Neither is that.Copy !req
1112. Well, if you're gonna go, go.
- I'm trying.Copy !req
1113. Thanks for meeting me.Copy !req
1114. Sure.Copy !req
1115. What was so important
you needed to meet in private?Copy !req
1116. Well, you know that whole plan we had
about, "Let's forget we kissed"?Copy !req
1117. Yeah.Copy !req
1118. I hate that plan.Copy !req
1119. It's a really terrible plan that we made.Copy !req
1120. I, uh...Copy !req
1121. I mean, it means I have to see you
kissing Schnipper—Copy !req
1122. Which is never gonna happen again.Copy !req
1123. - Thank God.
- I honestly did that to make you jealous.Copy !req
1124. Well, that worked.Copy !req
1125. Genius on my part, then.Copy !req
1126. Look, Jodi, I...Copy !req
1127. I'll end it with Kimmy
if it means I can be with you.Copy !req
1128. I was thinking I would do it tonight,
and, um...Copy !req
1129. maybe we could meet up after?Copy !req
1130. I, uh, I— I can't tonight.Copy !req
1131. It's my sister's pageant.Copy !req
1132. Right.Copy !req
1133. I mean, unless you want to be my plus-one.Copy !req
1134. You mean, like, a date?Copy !req
1135. Yeah, like a date.Copy !req
1136. - I'd love to.Copy !req
1137. And then we could go
to Dunker's party together.Copy !req
1138. But on one condition.Copy !req
1139. You be my dateCopy !req
1140. for Homecoming?Copy !req
1141. Yes, of course.Copy !req
1142. So, Stig is coming with you tonight,Copy !req
1143. - and he asked you to Homecoming?
- That's right.Copy !req
1144. Okay, this is all possible because he's
breaking up with Kimmy to be with you?Copy !req
1145. Which I feel bad about, but...Copy !req
1146. yeah, he is.Copy !req
1147. What— What's wrong?Copy !req
1148. Nothing. Nothing's—
Nothing's wrong. Um...Copy !req
1149. Y— You know, it was just...Copy !req
1150. I don't know. It was...Copy !req
1151. It was nice when
you needed me for something.Copy !req
1152. We'll probably just go back to
you never needing me for anything again.Copy !req
1153. What do you mean?Copy !req
1154. Well, up until last month,Copy !req
1155. you've never really needed my help
for anything.Copy !req
1156. Well, I— I wanted to, you know,
talk to you about stuff, but...Copy !req
1157. Why didn't you?Copy !req
1158. I don't know, just becauseCopy !req
1159. you were just busy with all your pageants,Copy !req
1160. and I just figured
that you weren't interested.Copy !req
1161. You mean more to meCopy !req
1162. than any stupid crown.Copy !req
1163. Then I guess I will come to you
about stuff, then.Copy !req
1164. Okay.Copy !req
1165. Okay.Copy !req
1166. Yeah.Copy !req
1167. I mean, who else would I talk to?Copy !req
1168. You're my... You're my big sister.Copy !req
1169. You're my big little sister.Copy !req
1170. That's me.Copy !req
1171. So, where is he?Copy !req
1172. Late, obviously.Copy !req
1173. - But he's definitely coming?
- Yes, he's coming.Copy !req
1174. Okay, sorry.
We're just so excited to meet him.Copy !req
1175. Okay, please don't embarrass me.Copy !req
1176. Never.Copy !req
1177. Yeah.Copy !req
1178. I'm so going to embarrass her.Copy !req
1179. Me, too!Copy !req
1180. Ladies and Gentleman,
your Teen Miss Louisiana contestants!Copy !req
1181. Miss Harper Kreyman everyone!Copy !req
1182. I guess the one way that I would work
to make the world a better placeCopy !req
1183. is by using
my hotel management skills, which...Copy !req
1184. Where is he?Copy !req
1185. Don't worry.Copy !req
1186. which is all about
meeting and exceedingCopy !req
1187. guest expectations.Copy !req
1188. Now, wouldn't it be greatCopy !req
1189. if we could meet and exceed
guest expectations...Copy !req
1190. - in the ongoing Middle East conflict?Copy !req
1191. Thank you so much.Copy !req
1192. In your face, Miss Teen Shreveport!Copy !req
1193. - Oh. Oh!Copy !req
1194. I'm gonna kill that kid when I see him.Copy !req
1195. Don't talk like that.Copy !req
1196. I'm serious.
I'm gonna run over Stig with the car.Copy !req
1197. Okay, then you'll go to jail.Copy !req
1198. Yeah, well, then I'll do my time
like a man, becauseCopy !req
1199. no one stands up my daughter, you hear me?
No one stands up my daughter!Copy !req
1200. - Watch the road!Copy !req
1201. Sorry.Copy !req
1202. Nobody!Copy !req
1203. Jodi.Copy !req
1204. Ah, Jodi, I'm— I'm sorry.
Can I explain, please?Copy !req
1205. Please, yeah, explain.Copy !req
1206. I had to help Dunkers
with the party all day,Copy !req
1207. and then people started showing up early,Copy !req
1208. and, I don't know, it got crazy.Copy !req
1209. And honestly, I lost track of time.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
1210. Okay, so,Copy !req
1211. did you talk to Kimmy?Copy !req
1212. I was going to, I was, but then she kept
getting pulled into conversations,Copy !req
1213. and I wanted, like,
a quiet moment to do it,Copy !req
1214. - you know? So I just—
- Stig, Stig, quick selfie, dude.Copy !req
1215. Yeah. All right, yeah.Copy !req
1216. - Nice! Yes! Love you, bro.
- Does it work?Copy !req
1217. All right. Yeah, you too, man!Copy !req
1218. What?Copy !req
1219. You're not breaking up with Kimmy.Copy !req
1220. You never were.Copy !req
1221. Jodi, why would you say that?Copy !req
1222. Because you like being the popular guy.Copy !req
1223. Much more than you like me, so...Copy !req
1224. No. Jodi.Copy !req
1225. Hey, come on. Come back.Copy !req
1226. Stig, over here, man.
You gotta check this out.Copy !req
1227. Do you... Do you have a date yet?Copy !req
1228. I do not.Copy !req
1229. Do you want to go with me?Copy !req
1230. I do, yeah.Copy !req
1231. And I don't.Copy !req
1232. I do and I don't.Copy !req
1233. I'm confused. I thought you liked me.Copy !req
1234. I do, I do. I'm just, uh...Copy !req
1235. sorta in love...Copy !req
1236. with somebody else.Copy !req
1237. I know.Copy !req
1238. - What?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1239. I see the way that you look at Jodi.Copy !req
1240. So why aren't you guys together?Copy !req
1241. Um, I don't— I don't know.
I guess I'm just not her type.Copy !req
1242. So you're gonna spend the rest of
your life waiting until you are her type?Copy !req
1243. If that's what it takes, then, yeah.Copy !req
1244. Okay.Copy !req
1245. I'm sorry. I know you must hate me.Copy !req
1246. I'm bummed.Copy !req
1247. But I don't hate you.Copy !req
1248. Your art, though, that, I hate.Copy !req
1249. I hate that.Copy !req
1250. fluctuates in this part of the boat.Copy !req
1251. They can grow or decline
based on tiny changes in current,Copy !req
1252. temperature or even water temperature.Copy !req
1253. Only time will tell if these new efforts—Copy !req
1254. Jodi?Copy !req
1255. You okay?Copy !req
1256. Don't worry. I'm not gonna...Copy !req
1257. say anything or do anything to upset you.Copy !req
1258. I just, uh...Copy !req
1259. just wanna tell you I love you.Copy !req
1260. And, uh...Copy !req
1261. I'm here if you need me, okay?Copy !req
1262. The gnome and the sunflower.
Classic.Copy !req
1263. What are you doing here?Copy !req
1264. Harper said I could come in.Copy !req
1265. Okay, yeah, come in, not,
"Touch Jodi's hairCopy !req
1266. - while she's trying to sleep."
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
1267. Since when do you know karate?Copy !req
1268. My mom. She made me take
self-defense classes a few years agoCopy !req
1269. when that serial killer was on the loose.Copy !req
1270. Okay, what are you doing here?Copy !req
1271. - I—
- And— And what happened to your eye?Copy !req
1272. Last night took a crazy turn,
and, um, I— I took a spill,Copy !req
1273. but I'm... ... I'm fine.Copy !req
1274. - Does it hurt?
- Not...Copy !req
1275. Not so much, um...Copy !req
1276. My mom asked me the exact same thing when
she came home a day early from her retreatCopy !req
1277. and then grounded me
for wrecking the house.Copy !req
1278. - So...
- Yikes.Copy !req
1279. So, uh...Copy !req
1280. no more Homecoming for me.Copy !req
1281. Sorry.Copy !req
1282. You have nothing to apologize for.Copy !req
1283. I haven't been the best friend recently.Copy !req
1284. And, uh, I am sorry.Copy !req
1285. But I got you a present.Copy !req
1286. To hopefully...Copy !req
1287. try and make up for it.Copy !req
1288. So I'm not gonna say anything else.Copy !req
1289. - Just open it.
- Okay.Copy !req
1290. I— I like the box.Copy !req
1291. Open it.Copy !req
1292. - High heels.
- Mm-hm.Copy !req
1293. They're from a specialty drag queen store
called Scream Queens.Copy !req
1294. It's this great place,Copy !req
1295. and they gave me a gift card,Copy !req
1296. so if I come in, like, nine more times,
I get a free pair.Copy !req
1297. They're, uh, beautiful.Copy !req
1298. Thank you.Copy !req
1299. But I'm never gonna wear them.Copy !req
1300. Okay.Copy !req
1301. Just keep 'em,Copy !req
1302. just in case.Copy !req
1303. Why?Copy !req
1304. I am glad you asked that, actually.
Let me paint you a picture.Copy !req
1305. - Please don't—
- No, no, no, stick with me here.Copy !req
1306. We're three years in the future.Copy !req
1307. You are at someCopy !req
1308. nice college in the Midwest,
Northwestern, maybe Notre Dame.Copy !req
1309. And...Copy !req
1310. you meet some...Copy !req
1311. taller-than-youCopy !req
1312. nice guy...Copy !req
1313. and he really likes you becauseCopy !req
1314. of how kind you are.Copy !req
1315. And he likes how you sit up front
with your Uber driversCopy !req
1316. 'cause you don't want them
to be lonely and...Copy !req
1317. how you hate raisins but love Raisin Bran,Copy !req
1318. which doesn't make any sense to me.Copy !req
1319. But again, maybe he likes it.Copy !req
1320. And he asks you out on a date.Copy !req
1321. And you wanna wear your heels.Copy !req
1322. And then you try and go out and buy some,Copy !req
1323. and you can't get any
'cause there's a snowstorm outside.Copy !req
1324. So you think back to this moment
and you go, "Damn.Copy !req
1325. I should have kept those heels that
Dunkleman gave me just in case."Copy !req
1326. It wouldn't work out with the guy.
It wouldn't. Yeah.Copy !req
1327. - Right.
- But you'd look amazing, so...Copy !req
1328. Thank you.Copy !req
1329. Yeah, no problem.Copy !req
1330. Hey, Dunkleman, crazy party, huh?Copy !req
1331. Well, I just wanted to document it
just as a reminderCopy !req
1332. in case you ever think
about throwing a party again.Copy !req
1333. Stig.Copy !req
1334. What were you and Jodi talking about
in the kitchen earlier?Copy !req
1335. Seemed kind of important.Copy !req
1336. Uh, I— I messed with her.Copy !req
1337. Yeah, Kimmy, I messed with her,
and— and she was pissed at me.Copy !req
1338. What'd you do?
Uh...Copy !req
1339. Okay, so she came over here the other day,Copy !req
1340. and she was saying that the reason
that she left the escape room wasCopy !req
1341. because she couldn't stand to see me
with, uh, somebody else.Copy !req
1342. So, basically just saying
that she's, uh, secretly in love with me.Copy !req
1343. - What?Copy !req
1344. Confessing love?
Dude, that's, like, totally lame.Copy !req
1345. Like, I'm definitely
not in love with Jodi.Copy !req
1346. Right, so anyways,
I couldn't get her to leave,Copy !req
1347. so just to get her off my back,Copy !req
1348. I said, "Yeah,
I'll meet up with you tonight.Copy !req
1349. We can talk more about it." But, uh...
But I— I totally stood her up.Copy !req
1350. Man! My guy!Copy !req
1351. Sauvage, bro.Copy !req
1352. Hey!Copy !req
1353. Dunkers!Copy !req
1354. Dunkers, what's your—Copy !req
1355. Sauvage, bro.Copy !req
1356. Hey.Copy !req
1357. - What're you—
- Dunkers.Copy !req
1358. Dunkers, what's your problem, man?Copy !req
1359. You are, man, you are.Copy !req
1360. When I met you,
you were genuinely a super nice guy, man.Copy !req
1361. But you've turned into such a jerk.Copy !req
1362. You're talking trash about Jodi
to all these people in public,Copy !req
1363. but when we're in private, man,
you're confessing your love for her to me.Copy !req
1364. The crazy thing is you don't even
know a thing about her, man.Copy !req
1365. What's her birthday, huh?
What's her middle name?Copy !req
1366. What's her favorite color?
What color are her eyes, man?Copy !req
1367. - Green.
- No, they're not, they're blue.Copy !req
1368. I mean, Jodi has so much to offer.
She's the best person that I know.Copy !req
1369. I bet you didn't even know
she's reading the list of 100 best booksCopy !req
1370. before she turns 21, did you know that?Copy !req
1371. And that's what's so funny,Copy !req
1372. is you think you're so much cooler
than her, but you're not.Copy !req
1373. You guys, none of you guys are.
You think...Copy !req
1374. She is so much cooler
than all of you guys combined.Copy !req
1375. Yeah, well, she's also taller
than all of us combined, so...Copy !req
1376. Yeah.
- Hey—Copy !req
1377. Dunkers!Copy !req
1378. Oh, my God, Dunkers, you okay!Copy !req
1379. Hey, fellas, come on now, come on!Copy !req
1380. Come on! Take it easy!Copy !req
1381. Guys! Guys, stop!Copy !req
1382. All right, Ruby Bridges High.Copy !req
1383. This is the moment
you've all been waiting for,Copy !req
1384. the announcement
of your Homecoming King and Queen.Copy !req
1385. And to read the names,
please help me welcome to the stageCopy !req
1386. Ruby Bridges alum and recently-crowned
Teen Miss Louisiana,Copy !req
1387. Harper Kreyman.Copy !req
1388. Thank you, students. Hello.Copy !req
1389. And Principal Preston,
may I just say, you look fantastic.Copy !req
1390. Have you lost weight or something?
What is it?Copy !req
1391. We'll talk later.Copy !req
1392. And now, without further ado,
your Homecoming King and Queen.Copy !req
1393. Thank you.Copy !req
1394. And the winner is...Copy !req
1395. Um...Copy !req
1396. You sure?Copy !req
1397. - That's what they told me.
- We're sure.Copy !req
1398. Kimmy Stitcher and Stig Mohlin.Copy !req
1399. Thank you so much!Copy !req
1400. Thank you! Thank you, thank you!Copy !req
1401. Thank you! Who would've ever thought?Copy !req
1402. Everyone, thank you so much! Oh, no?Copy !req
1403. - Baby, Stig baby, we did it!
- Ah!Copy !req
1404. What's wrong?Copy !req
1405. I can't do this anymore.Copy !req
1406. Do what?Copy !req
1407. This.Copy !req
1408. Or this.Copy !req
1409. Why not?Copy !req
1410. Because I made a mistake.Copy !req
1411. Because being Ingvar KruegerCopy !req
1412. wasn't as great as
I thought it was going to be.Copy !req
1413. What's an Ingvar Krueger?Copy !req
1414. Doesn't matter.Copy !req
1415. This is because you like Jodi, isn't it?Copy !req
1416. Can you explain to me, because I don't
understand. What do you see in her?Copy !req
1417. Can I, uh,
have everyone's attention, please?Copy !req
1418. Uh, hi, I am Jodi.Copy !req
1419. You may know me asCopy !req
1420. Amazon or GodzillaCopy !req
1421. or Jodi the Green Giant,
or any of those otherCopy !req
1422. insults that you've called me
in the past years, um...Copy !req
1423. You know what? I— I get it.Copy !req
1424. I'm— I'm tall, really, really tall,
and it's the thing that's haunted meCopy !req
1425. my entire life.Copy !req
1426. It's, um,Copy !req
1427. it's defined me.Copy !req
1428. But I think it's time that I come up
with a new definition.Copy !req
1429. - And I'd like to say one thing.
- Harper.Copy !req
1430. - My moment, not yours.
- One thing.Copy !req
1431. - Not mine. Okay.
- Not yours.Copy !req
1432. I'm so much more than just a tall girl.Copy !req
1433. I'm a sister.Copy !req
1434. I'm a best friend.Copy !req
1435. Mostly a good one, sometimes a bad one.Copy !req
1436. Sorry.Copy !req
1437. I'm smart.Copy !req
1438. I'm fun.Copy !req
1439. And I've made mistakes.Copy !req
1440. I've kissed a guy who I knew
had a girlfriend.Copy !req
1441. What?Copy !req
1442. And I'm sorry.Copy !req
1443. That was wrong.Copy !req
1444. And I play piano,Copy !req
1445. and I'm— I'm really, really good at it.Copy !req
1446. Being tall, actually, is what makes me,
me, and I— I like me.Copy !req
1447. And you should like you.Copy !req
1448. We're all good enough.Copy !req
1449. And once we realize this,
no one can take it away.Copy !req
1450. So go ahead and—
and keep making fun of me.Copy !req
1451. Keep calling me names, keep asking me,
"How's the weather up there?" Because...Copy !req
1452. I can take it.Copy !req
1453. Because the weather up here,
it's— it's pretty great.Copy !req
1454. Yeah, Jodi!Copy !req
1455. Was that how you imagined it?Copy !req
1456. Even better.Copy !req
1457. I have to go.Copy !req
1458. Jodi, wait!Copy !req
1459. Wait.Copy !req
1460. Oh. Oh, Jodi, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1461. I'm— I'm so sorry for everything.Copy !req
1462. - Thank you.
- Your speech was beautiful.Copy !req
1463. Thank you for saying that.Copy !req
1464. Yeah.Copy !req
1465. I broke it off with Kimmy.Copy !req
1466. Finally.Copy !req
1467. Look,Copy !req
1468. is there any chanceCopy !req
1469. that we can start over?Copy !req
1470. Please?Copy !req
1471. I'd love to start over.Copy !req
1472. But just not with you.Copy !req
1473. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
1474. Um...Copy !req
1475. Why didn't you tell me the real reason
you got that black eye?Copy !req
1476. It didn't seem important.Copy !req
1477. Okay, but you...Copy !req
1478. you, like, defended my honor
and you took a punch for me.Copy !req
1479. Yeah, well...Copy !req
1480. - Yeah, well, I guess I— I did that.
- Mm.Copy !req
1481. What?Copy !req
1482. Nothing.Copy !req
1483. I'm just making some mental revisions
to my perfect boyfriend checklist.Copy !req
1484. Well, did I make it over 50%?Copy !req
1485. Way over.Copy !req
1486. Uh, to let you know, the only major
sticking point is the milk crate.Copy !req
1487. I— I really don't get why you don't justCopy !req
1488. put your stuff in a backpack
like a normal person.Copy !req
1489. Um, well, because I knew the day
would come where I would need it,Copy !req
1490. and I wanted to be ready.Copy !req
1491. Ready for what?Copy !req
1492. For this.Copy !req
1493. Short handles
on roll-away suitcases,Copy !req
1494. my feet hanging off
every bed I've ever slept in,Copy !req
1495. having to sit sideways on airplanes.Copy !req
1496. We've all got something about ourselves
we wish we could change.Copy !req
1497. But it's completely out of our control.Copy !req
1498. The only thing that we can control
is how we deal with it.Copy !req
1499. And the way I see it, we have two choices.Copy !req
1500. We can lay low,Copy !req
1501. or we can stand tall.Copy !req