1. Oh, man, I gotta take
a big ol' dump!Copy !req
2. Aw, shit, man!Copy !req
3. Damn those enchiladas.Copy !req
4. Oh, it smells good!Copy !req
5. What the fuck was that shit?Copy !req
6. Who's that, y" all?Copy !req
7. I'm gonna get pissed.Copy !req
8. Leo took two days last time.Copy !req
9. Maybe it was the wind.Copy !req
10. Oh, well!Copy !req
11. Guess I can take another shit.Copy !req
12. Oh! No! No!Copy !req
13. Oh, no!
God damn it! No!Copy !req
14. Oh, no!Copy !req
15. My name's Stella Ennui.Copy !req
16. I'm on my way to live
with my father,
out in Bonejack Heights,Copy !req
17. in Bonejack, New York.Copy !req
18. My mother was tragically taken
from me recently,Copy !req
19. due to unfortunate case of
"committing suicide disease."Copy !req
20. The doctors didn't give her
much time to live.Copy !req
21. So, here I am, uprooted
from my boring life,Copy !req
22. to plunked down in another
boring life.Copy !req
23. On the bright side, though,Copy !req
24. I'm getting my period!Copy !req
25. Son of a cunt.Copy !req
26. Dad, I'm home.Copy !req
27. Uh, dad!Copy !req
28. Ugh.Copy !req
29. Yes.Copy !req
30. Oh, Stella!
It's so good to see you,
little darling.Copy !req
31. God! It's gonna be so much
fun having you around.Copy !req
32. Oh!Copy !req
33. Mm.Copy !req
34. It's like, you still don't quite
have any boobs yet, though.Copy !req
35. Oh, well!Copy !req
36. It will make it all the easier
to ward off all the horny
squeeze dicksCopy !req
37. that just wanna TF you and
shoot the protein blast on you.Copy !req
38. Hm.Copy !req
39. How the hell you've been?Copy !req
40. Great, dad.Copy !req
41. I gotta get to my room.Copy !req
42. I wanna look out the window
and brood awkwardly,
as soon as possible.Copy !req
43. Aw, sure, sure.Copy !req
44. I know how you kids
like to brood these days.Copy !req
45. Come on!Copy !req
46. You remember playing Neptune,
don't you?Copy !req
47. Indoor outhouse is on the left
or the right.Copy !req
48. Depending on how you
like to poopie.Copy !req
49. And here we are.Copy !req
50. My dad wanted a boy at first.Copy !req
51. I humored him
and left the room this way
to give him hope.Copy !req
52. A fools hope.Copy !req
53. Kept it just the way
you like, kiddo.Copy !req
54. Oh!Copy !req
55. And I got you a little
homecoming present.Copy !req
56. Dad, you know
I hate being surprised.Copy !req
57. And if I like it,
I most likely will smile,Copy !req
58. and you know how much it hurts
when I smile.Copy !req
59. I prefer my face to be in state
of perpetual gloom.Copy !req
60. Mm.Copy !req
61. Well, then.Copy !req
62. Prepare to be in pain,Copy !req
63. because you're gonna love this.Copy !req
64. Now,Copy !req
65. close your eyes,Copy !req
66. and hold out your hand.Copy !req
67. Mm.Copy !req
68. Now open them.Copy !req
69. Porn mags?Copy !req
70. Oh.Copy !req
71. Not just any porn mags.Copy !req
72. Your old man's porn mags.Copy !req
73. I've had these since I was
your age.Copy !req
74. And, if you find any pagesCopy !req
75. stuck together,Copy !req
76. just reap "em out and
hand "em on back to me.Copy !req
77. Mm.Copy !req
78. Oh.Copy !req
79. I've got another
surprise for you.Copy !req
80. Amazing.Copy !req
81. What's it gonna be,
a donkey show?Copy !req
82. Ta-da!Copy !req
83. Remember Chucky, Stella?Copy !req
84. We used to roll kale patties
over at Open Flynn,Copy !req
85. out back old man
Bone Jack's house.Copy !req
86. Remember that?Copy !req
87. Of course, I remember you, Jack.Copy !req
88. You're the first boy
to finger me.Copy !req
89. Girl never forgets that shit.Copy !req
90. Hm.Copy !req
91. Nice.Copy !req
92. Now, you two kids chat it up.Copy !req
93. I'm gonna run into town and
pick up some chipotle.Copy !req
94. How does that sound?Copy !req
95. Sounds good.
Sounds good.Copy !req
96. Better than average, I guess.Copy !req
97. Excellent.Copy !req
98. And you Jack,Copy !req
99. I trust you'll be staying
for desert.Copy !req
100. Yeah, as long it's okay
with Stella, I guess
that's fine.Copy !req
101. Of course it is.Copy !req
102. I'm sure we have ton of
excruciatingly boring stories
to tell.Copy !req
103. Well, then.Copy !req
104. Jack.Copy !req
105. Yes, sir?Copy !req
106. Don't go fingering my little
girl while I'm gone, you hear?Copy !req
107. No, sir.
I wouldn't do that, sir.Copy !req
108. I'm just joshing you.Copy !req
109. Dig right in,
you're practically family.Copy !req
110. Mm.Copy !req
111. Nice.Copy !req
112. Yeah.Copy !req
113. It's good seeing you again, sir.Copy !req
114. I see my pops is just as
perverted as ever.Copy !req
115. Oh, you have no idea.Copy !req
116. He and my dad is this thing,
called frataging.Copy !req
117. It's where two guys
come together they...Copy !req
118. Hey, I was wondering.Copy !req
119. So, how shitty
is school gonna be?Copy !req
120. I mean, at least
I have you there,
to ease the torture.Copy !req
121. But are the kids here cool?Copy !req
122. Or are they just brain washed
cattle like most youth of today?Copy !req
123. Um, yeah.
A lot of them suck.Copy !req
124. Most of them, actually.Copy !req
125. But there is a select few who beCopy !req
126. rocking all the cocks and be
dangling all in front of them.Copy !req
127. You know,
whatever the saying is,Copy !req
128. I don't really know.Copy !req
129. But, yeah, it's gonna suck.Copy !req
130. But I'll make it hurt less
for you.Copy !req
131. Unless you want it to hurt.Copy !req
132. Cool, I think.Copy !req
133. Well, you can come
help me unpack.Copy !req
134. I'd love to, come on.Copy !req
135. God!Copy !req
136. I wanna be in you so deep.Copy !req
137. Hey, you coming?Copy !req
138. Almost.Copy !req
139. I mean, yeah, no...
Yeah, yeah, I'm coming.
I'm coming.Copy !req
140. All right.Copy !req
141. So, let me introduce you to
a of couple of people who are,
as far as I'm concerned,Copy !req
142. the coolest people in this dump.Copy !req
143. Hey, homies!Copy !req
144. Say hello to Stella.Copy !req
145. Oh, my God!Copy !req
146. You're The Stella.Copy !req
147. It's so great
to finally meet you.Copy !req
148. I'm Jessey Nipplewax,
by the way.Copy !req
149. And, I'm T-Bone McCloud.Copy !req
150. Jack over here has talked
about you a million times.Copy !req
151. But he's never delivered.Copy !req
152. It's good to know that
you actually exist.Copy !req
153. I was starting to think that
you're one of his
imaginary finger-bangs.Copy !req
154. This finger-bang's real,
all right.Copy !req
155. Jesus, did you tell
the whole school?Copy !req
156. No!Copy !req
157. Oh, finger-bang!Copy !req
158. It only happened one time.Copy !req
159. Hey, aren't you originally
from LA or something?Copy !req
160. Yeah, I thought that everyone
from LA were supposed to be likeCopy !req
161. really tanned and have
ginormous boobs.Copy !req
162. Yeah, well,
maybe that's why they
kicked me out.Copy !req
163. Get it?Copy !req
164. Ha-ha, I get it.Copy !req
165. Nah! Yeah, yeah!
I totally got it. So...Copy !req
166. See ya at lunch.Copy !req
167. T-Bone scoundrels you.Copy !req
168. They love you, really.Copy !req
169. Kill me now.Copy !req
170. So, that's when I learned.Copy !req
171. You don't need a come
if you have zip lock bag
and rubber band.Copy !req
172. You could essentially just
seal it at the base
and than just...Copy !req
173. Oh, hey, Stella.
Come on.Copy !req
174. Come.Copy !req
175. Hey.Copy !req
176. Hey, Sweety,
come here, sit down.Copy !req
177. Sit still.Copy !req
178. Hey, no.
What are you doing?Copy !req
179. Chill, chill, chill.Copy !req
180. T-Bone's the school newspaper
photographer around here.Copy !req
181. Stop!Copy !req
182. You'll have to excuse him,
but you're big news.Copy !req
183. Bone Jack's famous
finger-bang five,Copy !req
184. front page, baby, front page.Copy !req
185. Stop!Copy !req
186. It was annoyingly cute at first,
but this shit's
gonna get old fast.Copy !req
187. So, how many fingers was it,
Jack?Copy !req
188. I think it was three.Copy !req
189. Who are they?Copy !req
190. Oh! They are the Mullens.
They pretty much
stick to themselves.Copy !req
191. That's Rosalis and Rathbone.Copy !req
192. I swear they must be
on the incest tip.Copy !req
193. I don't think I've ever seen
a brother and sister so in love
with each other's presence.Copy !req
194. If one of them shits,Copy !req
195. the other one coats it with
bronze and turns into a center
piece for dinning room table.Copy !req
196. It's kind of freaky.Copy !req
197. Oh.Copy !req
198. And who is that?Copy !req
199. That, my Los Angeles lovely,Copy !req
200. is Edgar Mullens,Copy !req
201. sex on two legs.Copy !req
202. Older brother and all around
bruting heartthrob.Copy !req
203. Well, I know he makes
something throb, girl.Copy !req
204. And it ain't your heart.Copy !req
205. Hoo-dee-hoo.Copy !req
206. I'm talking about her pussy.Copy !req
207. God, I want him inside me.Copy !req
208. Edgar Mullens, huh?Copy !req
209. Seriously, girl,
don't waste your time.Copy !req
210. He only likes chicks with
big boobsCopy !req
211. and who haven't been
finger banged.Copy !req
212. Oh, for the love of Pete!Copy !req
213. I'm serious, Stella,Copy !req
214. don't listen to Niagara
falls crotch over there.Copy !req
215. Stay away from Edgar Mullens.Copy !req
216. He is bad news.Copy !req
217. Whatever. It's not like I'm
gonna start some ridiculously
over emotional love festCopy !req
218. over some mysteriously hot dude
who's right over thereCopy !req
219. looking at me.Copy !req
220. How does someone fartCopy !req
221. and doesn't say excuse me?Copy !req
222. Thanks for lunch, dad.Copy !req
223. Whatever it takes to get
you tonight.Copy !req
224. So, I mean, Michael Jackson
would have to be an alien.Copy !req
225. I mean, no other creature on
this planet would just know
how to moonwalk like that.Copy !req
226. And that thing he does
with his legs and his crotch
and then go, "Whoo-hoo!"Copy !req
227. There's no other person on this
Earth thatCopy !req
228. could be able to do those moves
and make them look cool.Copy !req
229. I don't know, Justin Timberlake?Copy !req
230. That kid wishes
he was an alien.Copy !req
231. He just sort of puts his wiener
into boxes for foxy bovines
to swoon over.Copy !req
232. I wonder how big he is.Copy !req
233. Haa!Copy !req
234. Mr. Ennui.Copy !req
235. Oh, it is Stella.Copy !req
236. I can't get over how silky
smooth you've become.Copy !req
237. Still no breasts, I see.Copy !req
238. Yeah, well...Copy !req
239. But other than that,Copy !req
240. you're the spiting image of
your host, great champ.Copy !req
241. Stella?Copy !req
242. You remember old Jock de Queaf,
don't you?Copy !req
243. He used to sit on your lap and
tell you stories when he was
a blind cinematographer.Copy !req
244. Yeah. I was like eleven, right?Copy !req
245. Nice to see you again, Jock.Copy !req
246. Doing any camera work
these days?Copy !req
247. Only home experimentations,
I'm afraid.Copy !req
248. However, I do have home video
of me.Copy !req
249. Sitting on cow dung,Copy !req
250. trying to hit flies awayCopy !req
251. and beating my own scrotum.Copy !req
252. That's gross.Copy !req
253. Touche.Copy !req
254. Well, it was good
to see you, Jock.Copy !req
255. It was nice to see all of you.Copy !req
256. I have to run.Copy !req
257. I'm expected to be
at a tea party,Copy !req
258. for it's I and a block of Spam
are the only attendees.Copy !req
259. Stella,Copy !req
260. may your ears shine on through
the cornfields of Atlantis.Copy !req
261. Oh, Jock!Copy !req
262. It was nice to see him again,
huh, Stella.Copy !req
263. I guess.Copy !req
264. Ugh.Copy !req
265. Oh, my God!
Oh, my God!Copy !req
266. Oh, thanks Amos, you are here.
Something's is chasing me.
Help!Copy !req
267. What's the matter?Copy !req
268. Is someone trying to hurt you?Copy !req
269. Please, can we just get out
of here? He's right there.
We just gotta go.Copy !req
270. Do you mean him?Copy !req
271. Thank you, Raoul.Copy !req
272. She was a slippery one, huh?Copy !req
273. Slippery as the moist
trench walls of a mossy cleft,
my lord.Copy !req
274. Oh, my God!
Who are you people?Copy !req
275. I am Razor McBleed.Copy !req
276. And you, my dear,
succulent little flesh wound,Copy !req
277. are about to become my
dick warmer.Copy !req
278. Who are you?Copy !req
279. What are you?Copy !req
280. What am I?Copy !req
281. I am your Venus.Copy !req
282. I am your fire.Copy !req
283. I am your desire.Copy !req
284. Turn! Turn!Copy !req
285. Oh! Turn!Copy !req
286. I'm rigid.Copy !req
287. How do you feel?Copy !req
288. Like a snotty bad ass
vampire bitch.Copy !req
289. That's right.Copy !req
290. A real vampire.Copy !req
291. Mm.Copy !req
292. Vampire.Copy !req
293. Let that word fart through your
blood, my little kumquat.Copy !req
294. There are those in this very
town that would lead you
to believe they of a vampires.Copy !req
295. But they are not.Copy !req
296. No. They are fagpires.Copy !req
297. Fagpires?Copy !req
298. They have the strengths and
weaknesses that we do.Copy !req
299. But they do not have fangs.Copy !req
300. They do not sleep
within the light.Copy !req
301. And they do not feed
on the humans.Copy !req
302. Nor do they rock!Copy !req
303. Like we do.Copy !req
304. They are pathetic pieces of
turds that, get this,Copy !req
305. twinkle in the sunlight.Copy !req
306. What the hell is that?Copy !req
307. Right! See?Copy !req
308. Fagpires!Copy !req
309. We are here to take out
Edgar Mullens his shitty
little group of posers.Copy !req
310. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
311. This town will shiver at the
mere mention of my name.Copy !req
312. And Razor McBleed
will be on the lipsCopy !req
313. and tipsCopy !req
314. of all of those who fear
the shade.Copy !req
315. You're kinda
over the top, ain't ya?Copy !req
316. You're damn right!Copy !req
317. All true vampires are over
the top.Copy !req
318. It's theatrical.
It's regal.Copy !req
319. It's fucking sweet.Copy !req
320. Ugh.Copy !req
321. Hey, let's go get some dinner.Copy !req
322. I could eat an obese one
straight out of IHOP.Copy !req
323. O-ho, tasty!Copy !req
324. I can already taste the greasy
cellulite tweaks to my teeth.Copy !req
325. Oh, and I have always wanted
to know this but,Copy !req
326. what does a scrotum pouch
taste like?Copy !req
327. I'm willing to bet that
when you sinkCopy !req
328. your teeth into
one of those bad boys it's likeCopy !req
329. an exclusion of flavor.Copy !req
330. Well, it's like a very totally
woven pastry puff.Copy !req
331. Filled with mayonnaise
and blood.Copy !req
332. Ah!Copy !req
333. It's quite gamy.Copy !req
334. Exquisite, actually.Copy !req
335. That's decadent.Copy !req
336. With just a touch of
bitter sweat.Copy !req
337. For your information,
I didn't fart.Copy !req
338. Fart or no fart,Copy !req
339. your smell is full and thick
of repugnant mystery.Copy !req
340. So, what's that you're
looking at?Copy !req
341. Oh.Copy !req
342. This is a picture of me behind
a desk looking constipated.Copy !req
343. That's really cool.Copy !req
344. I know.Copy !req
345. I'm so hot, it hurts to think
about myself.Copy !req
346. Yeah.Copy !req
347. So, how do you like
Bone Jack heights?Copy !req
348. It's cool, I guess.Copy !req
349. I hate the rain.Copy !req
350. I hate anything that's wet.Copy !req
351. Then do you beat up your
when you get turned on?Copy !req
352. Uh.Copy !req
353. Well, it can't rain
all the time, right?Copy !req
354. You're stupid.Copy !req
355. What is with you?Copy !req
356. I can't figure you out.Copy !req
357. Oh, shut the fuck up.Copy !req
358. Talk to you tomorrow, all right?Copy !req
359. What the fuck?Copy !req
360. So, Stella, tomorrow, I'm
thinking about going to
the toasties skin tanneryCopy !req
361. to wax off my peach fuzz.Copy !req
362. Are you, like, so totally game?Copy !req
363. Nah. I'm pretty content with
my bush.Copy !req
364. I'm trying to grow a brand new
ecosystem down there, bring back
the dinosaurs and what not.Copy !req
365. You are so sassy, girl,Copy !req
366. I love your flow,
but seriously,
trim all that shit off.Copy !req
367. Because my tongue is not going
anywhere near that pink
pudding caveCopy !req
368. without some well
maintain shrubbery.Copy !req
369. That's a good one.Copy !req
370. Like that would happen
anyway. Am I right?Copy !req
371. What do you mean?Copy !req
372. Well, I mean, you're gay, right?Copy !req
373. Now, what the fuck would make
you think that, miss thing?Copy !req
374. I just thought...Copy !req
375. Way to make him feel like the
lowest turd on the fecal chain?Copy !req
376. Christ!Copy !req
377. I'm all about the pussy, girl,
and don't you ever forget it.Copy !req
378. I'm so sorry. I just...Copy !req
379. Yo, Stella!Copy !req
380. Yo, Jack attack.Copy !req
381. Stella!Copy !req
382. Stella!Copy !req
383. Oh, no!Copy !req
384. Then do you beat up your
when you get turned on?Copy !req
385. Oh, my God!Copy !req
386. That maniac came out of nowhere.Copy !req
387. He could've killed ya.Copy !req
388. That fucking mime
drinks all the time,
he needs to be locked upCopy !req
389. and ass raped forever
by some big black metro-sexual.Copy !req
390. Stella, what was that?Copy !req
391. Who saved you?Copy !req
392. It must've just beenCopy !req
393. the wind.Copy !req
394. Wind?Copy !req
395. Looked like some sort of hot
topic fagot to me.Copy !req
396. Come on, come on. Let's go
inside and get you a drink.
Maybe I could pet the pain away.Copy !req
397. Mm, Edgar.Copy !req
398. Ah!Copy !req
399. Edgar.Copy !req
400. Edgar!Copy !req
401. Dad!Copy !req
402. Oh! Stella!Copy !req
403. I'm sorry.Copy !req
404. I must be sleep jacking again.Copy !req
405. God, this happens a lot.Copy !req
406. Oh, how embarrassed
and mortified and vulnerable
you must feel.Copy !req
407. Just hurry up and finish.Copy !req
408. Oh, I'm almost there.Copy !req
409. Just give me a minute.Copy !req
410. Go for your fan again.Copy !req
411. Were you gonna eat that?Copy !req
412. Too late.Copy !req
413. We need to talk.Copy !req
414. We both know
what you did yesterday.Copy !req
415. Yeah, I saved your life.
No big whoop.Copy !req
416. But you came out of nowhere.Copy !req
417. You almost flew inCopy !req
418. and then you pushed that rogue
mime away from me.Copy !req
419. Sending him across
the parking lot, mind you.Copy !req
420. Kind of like a fly you just
swatted away from your face.Copy !req
421. Yeah, well, sometimes
I don't know my own strength.Copy !req
422. Or do I?Copy !req
423. There's something different
about you.Copy !req
424. And I'm gonna find out
what it is.Copy !req
425. Can't you just shut your face
and say thank you?Copy !req
426. Thank you.
I just...Copy !req
427. You're not gonna let this go,
are you?Copy !req
428. No!Copy !req
429. Well, then, bitch,
get ready for punch on the big
fucking stupid nose of yours.Copy !req
430. Get out of my sight,
you ugly hag.Copy !req
431. So, I'll talk to you
later, right?Copy !req
432. What the hell is with you, man?Copy !req
433. I don't think
we should be friends.Copy !req
434. Well, I guess you should have
thought of that before I had wet
and wild sex dreams about you.Copy !req
435. Forget it.Copy !req
436. You should have just left that
mime crush me to death.Copy !req
437. I know you regret what you did
So, let's just...Copy !req
438. You think I regret what I did?Copy !req
439. Do you?Copy !req
440. Hey, Edgar, wanna
go to Trudy Mart, get some
Toblerone and Bigfoot poopCopy !req
441. to throw it at little kids
when they get off the bus.
You wanna come?Copy !req
442. You can come too, Stella.Copy !req
443. Uh, sorry, Stella,
but this bus is full.Copy !req
444. Talk to you tomorrow.Copy !req
445. Can't quite put my finger on it,Copy !req
446. but for some reason
I need him inside me.Copy !req
447. No, dad! No.Copy !req
448. Edgar.Copy !req
449. What the hell are you
doing here?Copy !req
450. I had to take a shit,
so I figured I'd stop by
and leave it in your bed.Copy !req
451. You're so mysterious.Copy !req
452. Come with me.
I want to show you something.Copy !req
453. But, my brain is saying
no, no, no.Copy !req
454. But your pussy is saying
yes, yes, yes.Copy !req
455. Follow your pussy, Stella.
Come with me.Copy !req
456. By the way, you nap too much.Copy !req
457. Stupid.Copy !req
458. Dad, get out of the closet!Copy !req
459. Phew!Copy !req
460. This is just getting
good, too. Hmm.Copy !req
461. Dad, this is Edgar.Copy !req
462. My friend.Copy !req
463. Oh, hello, Mr. Ennui.Copy !req
464. Well, you have a very nice...Copy !req
465. Well, you have Stella.Copy !req
466. Edgar, my man,
pleased to meet you.Copy !req
467. You kids go on
and have some fun now.Copy !req
468. But, Edgar,Copy !req
469. you might wanna wear a condom,
this one is bleeding
like a stuck pig.Copy !req
470. Ooh.Copy !req
471. Unless you want her in
your red wing's, that is.Copy !req
472. Get the fuck out, Dad.Copy !req
473. "Get the fuck out, Dad."Copy !req
474. Tell me everything when you
guys finish.Copy !req
475. I'd loves me some poon gossip.Copy !req
476. Sorry about that.
He's a bit of a pervert.Copy !req
477. He's charming, but really,
we have no time to lose.Copy !req
478. Where are we going?Copy !req
479. Oh.Copy !req
480. Ugh.Copy !req
481. Okay, how do you do that?Copy !req
482. I need you to
shut up and listen.Copy !req
483. I'm not like other guys.Copy !req
484. No, shit.Copy !req
485. No!Copy !req
486. I'm not of this mortal coil.Copy !req
487. What?
Are you gonna murder me
out here?Copy !req
488. You're not a serious killer,
are you?Copy !req
489. I mean, it would make
a lotta sense and
shine a lotta light on shit.Copy !req
490. No, bling-bling you.
Just-just listen.Copy !req
491. I have powerful senses.Copy !req
492. I could fly,
I could run faster
than a puma.Copy !req
493. I have a strength of 20 man
and never sleep a wink.Copy !req
494. So, you either on some pretty
strong crack or you're a retard.Copy !req
495. No, you stupid head!Copy !req
496. I-I...Copy !req
497. am a vampire.Copy !req
498. Vampire?Copy !req
499. Say it. Say it, yes.
Out loud.Copy !req
500. Uh, I just dead, vampire.Copy !req
501. Well, aren't frightened
of my mess of appearance?Copy !req
502. And my creature of the
night instincts?Copy !req
503. Oh, wait!
You're serious?Copy !req
504. Shell I show it to you, Stella?Copy !req
505. Shell I prove it to you?Copy !req
506. I told you.
I wanted to show you.Copy !req
507. You think you can catch me?Copy !req
508. You think you can beat me?Copy !req
509. I am eternal!Copy !req
510. Jesus Christ,
you almost broke my legs!Copy !req
511. Stella.Copy !req
512. Fucker.Copy !req
513. I must have you.
I need you.Copy !req
514. Well, you have funny way
of showing it, fruit cake.Copy !req
515. I'm sorry.Copy !req
516. I had to be horrible to you.Copy !req
517. I had to keep my distance
to quail my animalistic loins.Copy !req
518. You're dripping with
your essence.Copy !req
519. Oh, yeah. That, well...Copy !req
520. I have my period, so...Copy !req
521. Your blood,Copy !req
522. it's intoxicating,
it's taking everything I have
from not ripping your crotch offCopy !req
523. and drinking you dry.Copy !req
524. Charming, but no,
I know what you mean.Copy !req
525. I'm drawn to you,
like a battered wife is drawn
to her abusing husband.Copy !req
526. I just can't shake
this feeling
I have for you.Copy !req
527. You, Stella...Copy !req
528. You're like my own personal
breath of BENGAY
deep-heating rub.Copy !req
529. So, you're a vampire.Copy !req
530. That was like the furthest
thing from my mind.Copy !req
531. You don't seem
like a vampire at all.Copy !req
532. Speed and strength,
I'll give you that, but...Copy !req
533. Vampire?Copy !req
534. Yes.Copy !req
535. You see, we Mullens aren't
like other vampires.Copy !req
536. We take pride in feeding of
these woodland creatures.Copy !req
537. We don't drink human blood.Copy !req
538. Oh, kinda like Brad Pit in that
movie about interviews and puffy
pirate shirts and what not?Copy !req
539. They get it all wrong.Copy !req
540. The media, society...Copy !req
541. So, do you have fangs?Copy !req
542. Unfortunately, no.Copy !req
543. We have evolved,
but we can still to be killed
by crosses, garlic and silver.Copy !req
544. We haven't seen fangs
on vampires for
over a 100 years.Copy !req
545. Those are the oldies.Copy !req
546. Hmm.Copy !req
547. So, what about sunlight?Copy !req
548. Well, as you can see, the sun is
really only a minor annoyance.Copy !req
549. It affects different vampires
in different ways.Copy !req
550. What's your annoyance?Copy !req
551. What does the sun do to you?Copy !req
552. I'll show you.Copy !req
553. Are you getting a boner?Copy !req
554. That's not all.Copy !req
555. Watch this!Copy !req
556. Edgar, this is beautiful.Copy !req
557. You, you could love this?Copy !req
558. I-I could.Copy !req
559. I feel like we're
really bonding, Stella.Copy !req
560. I think you should
meet my family.Copy !req
561. Already?Copy !req
562. They're gonna love you.Copy !req
563. Quick!
Jump on my back.Copy !req
564. Hold on, you little AIDS monkey.Copy !req
565. This is just so magical,
I can't believe it's happening.Copy !req
566. Get the fuck off of me.Copy !req
567. You're a lot fatter
than you look.Copy !req
568. It's a bloating.
My period, remember?Copy !req
569. Yeah.Copy !req
570. Meet me at that address
at 7:00 tonight.Copy !req
571. I'll leave you with that.Copy !req
572. I'm the luckiest girl
in the world.Copy !req
573. I gonna hump a vampire.Copy !req
574. Okay, Edgar,
is this you trying to
freak me out?Copy !req
575. Edgar Mullens?Copy !req
576. Holy shit! You scared me.Copy !req
577. Yeah, do you know him?Copy !req
578. Not yet, but from what I hear
I can't wait to sink his big
log into my mossy tunnel.Copy !req
579. What?Copy !req
580. Listen, skank,
I don't know who you are,
but Edgar is with me.Copy !req
581. I think.Copy !req
582. Ha! Well, "your Edgar"
is the main course, my love,Copy !req
583. and you are just a tasty
little appetizer.Copy !req
584. What does that even mean?Copy !req
585. Boo.Copy !req
586. Shit!Copy !req
587. Your blood will be used
not only to coke my insides
and fill my belly,Copy !req
588. but to vigorously pleasure my
vampiric pearl sack, vigorously.Copy !req
589. And without remorse.Copy !req
590. Okay, that's just gross.Copy !req
591. Hey!
Is that Criss Angel?Copy !req
592. Hey.Copy !req
593. Hey.Copy !req
594. Hey.
Were we just hoodwinked?Copy !req
595. Get that meat!Copy !req
596. Ho!Copy !req
597. Shamone.Copy !req
598. What the hell is this?Copy !req
599. Lupine!Copy !req
600. Lupine? Werewolf?
Are you shitting me?Copy !req
601. Hey, dog boy!
You think you're bad?Copy !req
602. You ain't bad!
You ain't nothing!Copy !req
603. Let's get the hell out of here.Copy !req
604. Ha, that's why you're
the brains of the operation.Copy !req
605. Thank you... Michael?Copy !req
606. Hee-hee!Copy !req
607. Shamone!Copy !req
608. Jack?Copy !req
609. Sorry, Stella.
I didn't mean for you
to see me like that.Copy !req
610. Could you stop the car?Copy !req
611. Are you afraid?Copy !req
612. Why should I be afraid?Copy !req
613. I mean, I just found out
that Edgar's a vampireCopy !req
614. and a couple of old school
vamps are still alive.Copy !req
615. And one of my friend is
a werewolf.Copy !req
616. It just makes so much sense,
it's not even funny.Copy !req
617. That's why I wanted you to
stay away from him, Stella.Copy !req
618. The Mullens are bad news.Copy !req
619. Those weren't the Mullens, Jack.Copy !req
620. They were something way worse.
I need to get to Edgar
to tell him.Copy !req
621. No! No way!
You can't go alone.Copy !req
622. I'll take you.Copy !req
623. But I'm having dinner with
him and his family tonight.Copy !req
624. So, you can't stay.Copy !req
625. Okay.Copy !req
626. But let me drive you there
at least.Copy !req
627. I just wanna make sure
you get there in one piece.
That cool?Copy !req
628. Okay.Copy !req
629. Wow! I'm taking this all
incredibly well.Copy !req
630. I agree. Most people would have
shit their pants and blow their
brains out by now.Copy !req
631. So, what's with the whole
Michael Jackson thing?Copy !req
632. Who?Copy !req
633. Ungrateful bastards,
I bring them out for little bit
of sport hunting vampires,Copy !req
634. If they knew...
If they knew how much I was
spending on fucking sunscreen...Copy !req
635. The amount I had to spend
on this place,
all evil layers were taken.Copy !req
636. Evil layer rentals...
Bullshit.Copy !req
637. Razor, a Michael Jackson
wacko just beat us up.Copy !req
638. Woo-hoo.Copy !req
639. Huh?Copy !req
640. Michael Jackson?Copy !req
641. A werewolf?
This is confounding.Copy !req
642. How can this be?Copy !req
643. He has a car, Razor.
He came at us with his
'shamones" and his...Copy !req
644. He totally threw in some,
"Hee-hees!" and some...Copy !req
645. Blast!Copy !req
646. Michael Jackson and his
Lycanthropic boogie machine.Copy !req
647. I thought I killed him
with drugs.Copy !req
648. Yeah.Copy !req
649. Ugh.Copy !req
650. This could be harder than
I thought.Copy !req
651. You fun-loathian dendrophiles.Copy !req
652. That was wolf boy Jack.Copy !req
653. From the Secanby clan.Copy !req
654. His ilk have been living
in this area for decades.Copy !req
655. He was just dressed
as the king of pop,
you first class bailers.Copy !req
656. Well, I knew it all along,
Razor, I mean, his moonwalk
was so poor and...Copy !req
657. Quiet!Copy !req
658. Now, what of this female?Copy !req
659. This Stella.Copy !req
660. What is she to Mullens and
his fruity be-bubbled genitalia?Copy !req
661. I think he wants to
mate with this human.Copy !req
662. I think he wants to become
her lover.Copy !req
663. Makes me sick.Copy !req
664. Let's go pay these
Mullens a visit, huh?Copy !req
665. Ah! Sounds tasty.Copy !req
666. To me, my loyal home twigs.Copy !req
667. Raoul?Copy !req
668. Crank the journey.Copy !req
669. I must lament about thisCopy !req
670. wheel in the sky.Copy !req
671. He loves lamenting.Copy !req
672. As your will commands it,
my leash.Copy !req
673. If you need me,
I'll be chilling right
across the street, okay?Copy !req
674. Jack, I'm gonna be fine,
I'm safe.Copy !req
675. I know what they are, Stella.Copy !req
676. Okay, I'll be sure to call you
if they are in need of anyCopy !req
677. PYT improve dance moves,Copy !req
678. king of pop.Copy !req
679. You know, I'm not 100% liking
your attitude, smart ass.Copy !req
680. Whatever.
Shamone, Jack.Copy !req
681. Bitch needs to watch her
fucking tone.Copy !req
682. Or I'll have to give her
knuckle sandwich
straight to the mouth.Copy !req
683. But God, I just wanna be
so deep in that pussy.Copy !req
684. You're late.Copy !req
685. Well, actually,
I need to talk
to you about that.Copy !req
686. Say it! Say it!Copy !req
687. We already did this.Copy !req
688. All right.Copy !req
689. Bro-sis, this is Stella.Copy !req
690. Hey! I mean, I know you guys,
we just have never been
formally introduced.Copy !req
691. Hey, yeah! Wow!
I'm Rosalis.Copy !req
692. I'm Ed's younger sis and
this is our brother Rathbone.
We totally fuck.Copy !req
693. We do...Copy !req
694. Rosalis, I'm sure Stella
doesn't wanna hear your mating
habits with our sibling.Copy !req
695. What the hell, right?
We're totally family now.Copy !req
696. And mom and dad always said,
"Keep it in a family," right?Copy !req
697. I'm so excited,
we're gonna be
such good friends.Copy !req
698. And I mean like, yeah...Copy !req
699. I'm starved.Copy !req
700. Would you like to eat my fart,
Stella?Copy !req
701. Rathbone,
why don't you two go into
the lavatory and fix Stella upCopy !req
702. a heaping bow of protein
and a crystal Pepsi.Copy !req
703. Crystal Pepsi?Copy !req
704. Suit yourself, Edgar.Copy !req
705. Stella, perhaps after your mealCopy !req
706. you'd you like to play
a game of frolf?Copy !req
707. You mean Frisbee golf?Copy !req
708. You play frolf?Copy !req
709. Are you sure you're into chicks?Copy !req
710. Well, frolf is a game that's
been played by our kind
for millennium.Copy !req
711. You wouldn't imagine how cool
you could look, leaping into
the end, grabbing a hold of aCopy !req
712. dangerous and
unpredictable saucer.Copy !req
713. Oh, I'll be surprised,
all right.Copy !req
714. Why didn't you two
fix up some eats, hmm?Copy !req
715. Now, you have something
to tell me?Copy !req
716. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
717. You know how you were telling me
about those cooler vampires that
actually have fangs and killCopy !req
718. and change and look
sweet and super sexy?Copy !req
719. Yes, yes.
I know of them.Copy !req
720. Well, I just got bone-jacked by
two full-on old school vamps.Copy !req
721. And my old friend Jack showed up
as a moonwalking werewolf,
mind you.Copy !req
722. He kicked their asses
back to fugly town.Copy !req
723. What?Copy !req
724. But there hasn't been
an elder here in...Copy !req
725. Do you smell fish?Copy !req
726. What?Copy !req
727. Stella!
Grub's on.Copy !req
728. Eat, then frolf.Copy !req
729. What about the vamps?Copy !req
730. And what about Jack turning
into a werewolf?Copy !req
731. Vamps? That's retard talk.
And as for Jack,Copy !req
732. I've known him
since he turned 13. Why?
I went to his bar mitzvah.Copy !req
733. A werewolf bar mitzvah?Copy !req
734. It was spooky and scary.Copy !req
735. Eat!Copy !req
736. Hey, Edgar!Copy !req
737. Why do you guys play inside?Copy !req
738. See, if we all played outside,
we all get boners.Copy !req
739. Bubbles flying everywhere.Copy !req
740. Can't have that.Copy !req
741. Even Rosalis?Copy !req
742. Oh!Copy !req
743. See, with women, their
clitoris grows the size
of a penis.Copy !req
744. You don't want that
flapping around in public, huh?Copy !req
745. You guys ever thought about
playing something more hardcore,
like football or baseball?Copy !req
746. Stella, baseball?
That would be gay.Copy !req
747. Hey, girl, check out
what I can do.Copy !req
748. Well, you don't see
that everyday.Copy !req
749. Mind if I join in
for old times sake?Copy !req
750. I don't know, Jack.
I think we're already
pretty filled up.Copy !req
751. Dude, there's like
four people here.
How about your chill, Ed?Copy !req
752. Besides, there's a few moves
I could teach Stella,Copy !req
753. and I'm sure you could learn
something from them.Copy !req
754. Don't you have a grooming class
to go to, Jack-fur.Copy !req
755. I'm sure Stella learnt all she
needs to from me and then some.Copy !req
756. Come on.Copy !req
757. Actually, Edgar,
we haven't done anything yet.Copy !req
758. Well, we could have
and if we did,Copy !req
759. I'm sure it would have been
a lot better than whateverCopy !req
760. has Jack learnt you,
or something to that effect.Copy !req
761. Guys, put your egos to rest.Copy !req
762. There's plenty of holes on
Stella to go around.Copy !req
763. Hey! Mine holes.Copy !req
764. Shape up, Shames,
we got company.Copy !req
765. Who the fuck are they?Copy !req
766. It can't be.Copy !req
767. Shit! Edgar,
those are the vamps
that attacked me.Copy !req
768. It is true.Copy !req
769. The elders.Copy !req
770. Although, I don't know
who the guy in front is.Copy !req
771. Quick, Stella, hide behind my
moistly chiseled ass.Copy !req
772. No. Stella, get behind my ass.
It's far more fine than his.Copy !req
773. Greetings, my young brother.Copy !req
774. I am Raoul.
This is Veronica.Copy !req
775. And here is my lord,
Laser McBleed,
of the clan McBleed.Copy !req
776. It's Razor.
We practiced this.Copy !req
777. Razor? Really?Copy !req
778. Yes.Copy !req
779. Lord Razor!Copy !req
780. McBleed of the clan McBleed.Copy !req
781. So good to finally
meet the Mullenses.Copy !req
782. But you, we met before.Copy !req
783. Yes, my little lardbag.
You're not Mullens at all.Copy !req
784. You're turning the milk in
my nipples sour.Copy !req
785. Fuck you.
You're afraid of a dog.Copy !req
786. For the record, I'm a werewolf,
not a weredog, all right?Copy !req
787. Enough chicanery.Copy !req
788. That's enough, Raz-dude.Copy !req
789. The name is Razor, fagpire.Copy !req
790. And you would do good do to
remember it, for it will be the
chilling sound of your doom.Copy !req
791. These guy is hilarious.Copy !req
792. The cow-cunt speaks?Copy !req
793. You'll be quick to keep her
mouth shut,Copy !req
794. or I shall shut it for her,
with my dick.Copy !req
795. Mullens, flee!Copy !req
796. You're stupid.Copy !req
797. Fuck that hissing shit.
Who's bad?Copy !req
798. Ho!Copy !req
799. You're tearing him apart.Copy !req
800. Take her.
Get her safe.Copy !req
801. I "ll take" em all on!Copy !req
802. Ready? One, two, three!Copy !req
803. Ed!Copy !req
804. Fucking, bitch!
God damn it!Copy !req
805. Fucking crazy bitch!Copy !req
806. Edgar, be careful!Copy !req
807. Little brother.Copy !req
808. I didn't think that a vampire
can be this potent.Copy !req
809. Are you ready for it?
This may be the end, fellow.Copy !req
810. I'll see you in the after light,
my lord.Copy !req
811. How do I look?Copy !req
812. Ready.Copy !req
813. You killed Raoul.Copy !req
814. And you killed... the new one.Copy !req
815. Do you have any idea
how expensive minions
are these days?Copy !req
816. Taste my honey, honeydew.Copy !req
817. No!Copy !req
818. You know, I don't even
really hate vampires.Copy !req
819. But the sparkling,
the bubbles and the boners.
You don't even have...Copy !req
820. We may not have fangs...Copy !req
821. But our hairCopy !req
822. looks fucking sweet.Copy !req
823. Time for the course.Copy !req
824. Hole in one.Copy !req
825. Sanctuary...Copy !req
826. Give my mustache to Trevor.Copy !req
827. Good job, bro! Superb!Copy !req
828. Fantastic!Copy !req
829. What's up, Stella?
Wanna go the prom with me?Copy !req
830. I'd love to.Copy !req
831. Sweet.Copy !req
832. Fags! Come on, AIDS monkey.
Let's go.Copy !req
833. Stella, I wanted to get you
away from children
and new music and hip-hop.Copy !req
834. I have something
special to tell you.Copy !req
835. What is it, Edgar?Copy !req
836. You can tell me anything.Copy !req
837. Stella, I wanted
to tell you that,
I love you.Copy !req
838. I love you, too.Copy !req
839. And, I want you inside me.Copy !req
840. I want to be inside you, too.Copy !req
841. Mind if I cut in?Copy !req
842. You're a very precocious
young lady, ain't you, Stella?Copy !req
843. Oh, you're just like
your mother was
when she was your age.Copy !req
844. You know I'm not wearing
any underwear, right?Copy !req
845. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
846. Can you feel that?Copy !req
847. Dad!Copy !req
848. Mm.Copy !req
849. Do you feel that?Copy !req
850. That's all me.Copy !req
851. Mm.Copy !req
852. Help me.Copy !req
853. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
854. I wanna be inside you, too.Copy !req
855. Nice.Copy !req
856. I want you to remember this
night for the rest of your life.Copy !req
857. They went to the prom?Copy !req
858. Really?Copy !req
859. It's the stupidest ending
I've ever heard of.Copy !req
860. Oh, I'll get you, vampires.Copy !req
861. I'll get you if it's
the last thing I do.Copy !req