1. 7:45 on this beautiful, almost balmy
22nd of September in Schenectady.Copy !req
2. And it's the first day of fall.Copy !req
3. So in honor of that fact,
we have Elke Putzkammer...Copy !req
4. professor of literature
at Union College...Copy !req
5. to talk about autumn in poetry
and literature.Copy !req
6. - Good morning, professor.
- Hi, Alex.Copy !req
7. So, what about it? Why do
so many people write about the fall?Copy !req
8. Well, I think it's seen
as the beginning of the end, really.Copy !req
9. If the year is a life, then September,
the beginning of fall...Copy !req
10. is when the bloom is off the rose
and things start to die.Copy !req
11. It's a melancholy month and maybe
because of that, quite beautiful.Copy !req
12. Is there something
you might read to us?Copy !req
13. Oh, I'd love to.Copy !req
14. Whoever has no house now
Will never have one.Copy !req
15. Whoever is alone will stay aloneCopy !req
16. Will sit, read, write long letters
Through the eveningCopy !req
17. And wander the boulevards
Up and down, restlesslyCopy !req
18. While the dry leaves are blowingCopy !req
19. Goodness, that harsh, isn't it?Copy !req
20. Well, perhaps. But truthful.Copy !req
21. Mommy, done.Copy !req
22. - Good morning.
- Good morning.Copy !req
23. - I tried not to wake you.
- Well, thanks.Copy !req
24. You didn't. I just...
You know, I couldn't get up.Copy !req
25. - Caden, can you get that?
- It's Maria, I don't want to.Copy !req
26. - Caden... Oh, that's weird.
- Hey, it's me. How are you?Copy !req
27. Mommy, is something wrong
with my poop?Copy !req
28. No, honey, it's just green.
You probably ate something green.Copy !req
29. I didn't. What's wrong with me?Copy !req
30. I have to get that, Olive.
You're gonna be fine, okay?Copy !req
31. - But, Mommy...
- Yeah, I'll be right back, Olive.Copy !req
32. Oh, nothing.
Just wiping Olive's ass. You?Copy !req
33. - An earthquake in Kashmir...
- Oh, you're kidding. Holy fuck.Copy !req
34. - ... has killed an estimated 73, 000...
- I don't feel well.Copy !req
35. Oh, my goodness.Copy !req
36. March in Washington, D.C., today,
October 15th.Copy !req
37. - Harold Pinter died.
- Well, he's old, right?Copy !req
38. - No, wait. He won the Nobel Prize.
- Mom.Copy !req
39. - What, honey?
- Do you need to look at my poop?Copy !req
40. - You sure it's all right?
- It's fine, Olive. Just flush.Copy !req
41. What if it's alive? What if I kill it?Copy !req
42. - It's green like plants.
- It's not alive, honey.Copy !req
43. Remember the production of
The Dumb Waiterl did at Albanyfest?Copy !req
44. Have your oatmeal, honey.Copy !req
45. - I want peanut butter and jelly.
- You said oatmeal.Copy !req
46. - This isn't a restaurant.
- I don't want oatmeal.Copy !req
47. - Okay. Fine.
- Mommy, I'm sorry.Copy !req
48. They found avian flu in Turkey.
In the country Turkey, not turkeys.Copy !req
49. - Can I watch TV till school?
- In some chickens. Yeah.Copy !req
50. There is a secret something at play
under the surface...Copy !req
51. growing like an invisible virus
of thought.Copy !req
52. But you're being changed by it...Copy !req
53. - Milk's expired.
- Okay.Copy !req
54. Jesus.Copy !req
55. - You better eat this.
- I will.Copy !req
56. Yeah.Copy !req
57. How did I guess
you'd ask me that question?Copy !req
58. Happy Halloween, Schenectady.Copy !req
59. And how long have you been
in New York for?Copy !req
60. The first black graduate
of the University of Alabama died.Copy !req
61. Vivian Malone Jones.Copy !req
62. Stroke, 63.Copy !req
63. Fuck!Copy !req
64. God! Somebody! Adele, help!Copy !req
65. - Jesus, Caden, what the fuck?
- I was shaving and the thing flew off!Copy !req
66. Oh, my God!
Jesus, look at your head.Copy !req
67. Oh, shit.Copy !req
68. Oh, God, I can't turn it.Copy !req
69. Oh, wait.Copy !req
70. - Mommy, Daddy has blood.
- Yeah.Copy !req
71. - Will there be a scar?
- Probably. It looks like a mud flap.Copy !req
72. - I prefer there not to be a scar.
- Yeah.Copy !req
73. That fellow is annoying.Copy !req
74. He's in here every week,
like clockwork.Copy !req
75. There. I think that should...
Let's see.Copy !req
76. - What?
- Change in bowel movements?Copy !req
77. It's a little more yellow than usual.
Why?Copy !req
78. Yeah, I'd like you to see
an ophthalmologist.Copy !req
79. - A neurologist?
- What? No.Copy !req
80. An ophthalmologist.
I said, ophthalmologist.Copy !req
81. Do you hear that?Copy !req
82. Yeah.Copy !req
83. And today is Tuesday.
Mommy, is today Tuesday?Copy !req
84. No, honey, today is Friday.
So, what exactly did he say?Copy !req
85. That my pupils weren't properly
opening and closing.Copy !req
86. Dilating.Copy !req
87. - No.
- Yeah.Copy !req
88. - I don't think that's what he said.
- Yes.Copy !req
89. - That's not what he said.
- Is it the bump to your head?Copy !req
90. He doesn't know. Maybe.Copy !req
91. He said he doesn't think so,
but maybe. But he doesn't know.Copy !req
92. - But maybe. Who knows?
- Okay, Jesus, Caden, I got it.Copy !req
93. - He doesn't know...
- Sorry. I'm a little anxious.Copy !req
94. - Did you have to get a shot, Daddy?
- No, honey.Copy !req
95. - It's the start of something awful.
- Do I have to get a shot?Copy !req
96. - Course not.
- Did you tell him I have green poo?Copy !req
97. - It's fucked timing.
- Call the plumber. Hey.Copy !req
98. Sorry. I have rehearsal. Fuck.Copy !req
99. - Hey, come on.
- Sorry, sorry, sorry. Everybody, sorry.Copy !req
100. How many years
until I have to get more shots?Copy !req
101. - Not for a really long time, babe.
- A million years?Copy !req
102. - Remember what Dr. Woodman said...
- Dad, what's a plumber?Copy !req
103. - He's a man...
- Or a woman, Dad.Copy !req
104. Right. He's a man or a woman
who fixes sinks and toilets and...Copy !req
105. - Do you know what pipes are?
- No.Copy !req
106. - Hey, Jim. I had an accident.
- Like to smoke out of?Copy !req
107. A different kind of pipe, honey.
All right, bye.Copy !req
108. Houses have pipes,
and they're made of...Copy !req
109. They're like tubes,
and they're behind the walls...Copy !req
110. and they're under the floors
and everywhere.Copy !req
111. - And...
- What's the matter?Copy !req
112. - Every single where?
- It's okay, honey.Copy !req
113. They just carry water
to and from sinks and toilets.Copy !req
114. - It's like in your body. You have veins.
- Capillaries.Copy !req
115. Capillaries filled with blood.Copy !req
116. I have blood? I don't want blood.
I don't want blood.Copy !req
117. - What are you doing?
- Trying to explain plumbing.Copy !req
118. - Stop.
- I can't do this now.Copy !req
119. - Don't worry, you don't have blood.
- Don't tell her she doesn't have blood.Copy !req
120. - Caden, stop it.
- I don't want blood.Copy !req
121. Thanks for getting me in right away.Copy !req
122. - Was it the bump to the head?
- No.Copy !req
123. Could be, but I think we need
to get you to a neurologist.Copy !req
124. - Neurologist?
- It's a brain expert.Copy !req
125. I know what a neurologist is.Copy !req
126. - I thought from the way you asked...
- I just thought you said "urologist."Copy !req
127. - Why do I need to see a neurologist?
- Just for a look-see.Copy !req
128. The eyes are part of the brain,
after all.Copy !req
129. No, that's not true, is it?Copy !req
130. - Why would I say it if it weren't true?
- It doesn't seem right.Copy !req
131. Like morally correct,
or "right" as in accurate?Copy !req
132. I don't know. Accurate, I guess?Copy !req
133. Interesting.Copy !req
134. Now, when you kick off, boy,
I want a 70-yard boot.Copy !req
135. And get right down the field
under the ball.Copy !req
136. And when you hit, hit low and hit hard,
because it's important, boy.Copy !req
137. There's all kinds of important people
in the stands.Copy !req
138. And the first thing you know... Ben?Copy !req
139. Ben, where do I...?Copy !req
140. - Ben, how do I...?
- Willy, you coming up?Copy !req
141. Willy?Copy !req
142. Willy, answer me.Copy !req
143. Willy! No!Copy !req
144. - Oh, Jesus, come on.
- Oh, crap.Copy !req
145. Claire, are you okay?
What's happening here?Copy !req
146. It's too late in the game
to have these problems.Copy !req
147. - I know, Caden. I'm sorry. We'll get it.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
148. - You okay?
- Yeah, I think the wig saved my life.Copy !req
149. - Yeah.
- It's okay, honestly.Copy !req
150. That was good, Tom.Copy !req
151. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
152. I was trying something different.
I was crashing differently.Copy !req
153. - Ambivalently.
- Yeah, I saw that. I liked it.Copy !req
154. Try to keep in mind that
a young person playing Willy Loman...Copy !req
155. thinks he's only pretending
to be at the end of a life full of despair.Copy !req
156. But the tragedy is that we know
that you, the young actor...Copy !req
157. will end up in this very place
of desolation.Copy !req
158. That's great.Copy !req
159. - Let's try it again. How long, David?
- I think 15.Copy !req
160. Anything?Copy !req
161. So now what?Copy !req
162. - Hey
- HeyCopy !req
163. - In search of the elusive signal.
- The signal's good here, oddly.Copy !req
164. - That is odd.
- I know. Cell phones, they're crazy.Copy !req
165. - See you in a few.
- Yep.Copy !req
166. Yeah, Dr. Heshborg said
I should see a Dr. Scoriano.Copy !req
167. My pupils don't work.Copy !req
168. I think I have blood in my stool.Copy !req
169. That stool in your office?Copy !req
170. - When I was pregnant with Olive.
- What was it like?Copy !req
171. I don't know. Hopeful or something.
Like something was gonna change.Copy !req
172. - Yeah, something did. No?
- Yeah.Copy !req
173. - Yeah, of course.
- I mean, bigtime.Copy !req
174. I mean, maybe not as much
as I'd hoped.Copy !req
175. I'm sorry.
That's a terrible thing to say.Copy !req
176. There are no terrible things to say
in here, only true and false.Copy !req
177. - Can I say something awful?
- Yes, please do.Copy !req
178. I've fantasized about Caden dying.Copy !req
179. Being able to start again, guilt-free.Copy !req
180. I know that's... That's bad.Copy !req
181. - Caden, does that feel terrible?
- Yeah.Copy !req
182. Okay, good.Copy !req
183. It's a nightmare in there.Copy !req
184. I'm sorry.Copy !req
185. So, I'm reading The Trial.Copy !req
186. - Yeah?
- Yeah.Copy !req
187. - You like?
- Love.Copy !req
188. I'm such an idiot
for not knowing about this book.Copy !req
189. - It's famous, as it turns out.
- Yeah.Copy !req
190. You're not an idiot.Copy !req
191. Then you say:Copy !req
192. "In fact, Hazel, you're very bright,
and I love your eyes."Copy !req
193. - In fact, Hazel, you're very bright.
- Oh, am I?Copy !req
194. - And I love your eyes.
- Do you? Oh, you're a darling.Copy !req
195. Then what do I say?Copy !req
196. - I can't say what then you say.
- Why?Copy !req
197. Because it's dirty.Copy !req
198. Could you step out for a second?Copy !req
199. Go ahead. I've seen boy parts.Copy !req
200. - Can I take a piss in your sink?
- Yeah, sure. I guess.Copy !req
201. We're sold out.Copy !req
202. Great.Copy !req
203. Gorgeous.Copy !req
204. Thanks.Copy !req
205. - How was rehearsal?
- Awful.Copy !req
206. We have 560 lighting cues.Copy !req
207. - I don't why I make it so complicated.
- Because that's what you do.Copy !req
208. Yeah.Copy !req
209. We got through it though.
That's really pretty.Copy !req
210. Caden, I'm sorry, I...Copy !req
211. I can't come tonight. I'm sorry.Copy !req
212. I have two canvasses I have
to get ready to ship for tomorrow.Copy !req
213. - I know it sucks...
- It's opening night.Copy !req
214. I know. I wish I could come.
I would if I could.Copy !req
215. - I've gotta get ready.
- Tomorrow...Copy !req
216. I have to get ready.
I don't know what I'm gonna wear.Copy !req
217. I have to figure out
what I'm gonna wear.Copy !req
218. Hey.Copy !req
219. - Oh, boy, oh boy.
- Willy?Copy !req
220. It's all right, I came back.Copy !req
221. I hated myself tonight.Copy !req
222. - Plus, I'm so... Excuse me.
- Hey, Tom.Copy !req
223. I'm so bloated and enormous.Copy !req
224. No, you look good. You were great.
I was very pleased.Copy !req
225. - You okay?
- Sorry. A little bit of a headache.Copy !req
226. Willy Loman.Copy !req
227. I just wanted to say thank you
for everything.Copy !req
228. You've been absolutely brilliant.Copy !req
229. It's gonna be miserable
going ahead without you.Copy !req
230. - I'll be around. I'll check in.
- I'm such a baby.Copy !req
231. Okay. I'm gonna go get drunk,
that's what.Copy !req
232. Okay. Claire. Sweetheart.Copy !req
233. - Good. Good job.
- Oh, don't worry, I'll get better.Copy !req
234. - Good work.
- Don't worry, it'll get better.Copy !req
235. Hey. I figured I'd better get in fast.Copy !req
236. - Hey, you wanna sit?
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
237. - Where's el wife-o?
- Had to work.Copy !req
238. Her show in Berlin is in two weeks.Copy !req
239. We're gonna go there
for like a month.Copy !req
240. - Why do I like you so much?
- I couldn't begin to guess.Copy !req
241. Me neither.Copy !req
242. Do you get high, my friend?Copy !req
243. You know, sometimes.Copy !req
244. Do you want to now?
With me, in my car'?Copy !req
245. I get kind of...Copy !req
246. something when I'm stoned.Copy !req
247. What does "something" mean?Copy !req
248. You know...Copy !req
249. bothered.Copy !req
250. - What does "bothered" mean?
- You know.Copy !req
251. Bothered. Horny.Copy !req
252. And me with a station wagon and all.
Could be dangerous.Copy !req
253. - Yeah, could be.
- You're absolutely zero fun.Copy !req
254. When are the reviews
gonna get here?Copy !req
255. Don't know.Copy !req
256. His best friends finger two babies...Copy !req
257. One this big, one this big.
and two kittens.Copy !req
258. - Hey.
- Hi, Caden. How'd it go?Copy !req
259. - Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
260. It's late.Copy !req
261. Maria came over
to keep me company because...Copy !req
262. And we just lost track.
I got everything done.Copy !req
263. But I'm sorry I missed your play.
I'm sorry. But how'd it go?Copy !req
264. Great. We're a hit.Copy !req
265. Reviews are great.Copy !req
266. Times said it was brilliant casting
young people as Willy and Linda.Copy !req
267. - That's great, Caden. Good for you.
- Great.Copy !req
268. I can't wait to see it tomorrow.
That's... Tonight.Copy !req
269. That's great.Copy !req
270. Wow, it's really late... Early.Copy !req
271. Early.Copy !req
272. It's late.
Hey, I would love to see it too.Copy !req
273. - Can we get Maria a ticket?
- You're stoned.Copy !req
274. I mean, a little. It's, you know...
I don't know.Copy !req
275. But are you happy with it?Copy !req
276. Yeah. Yeah, I'd love for you to see...
To know what you think.Copy !req
277. It doesn't matter what I think.Copy !req
278. Absolutely. It's all about
your artistic satisfaction, Caden.Copy !req
279. - Congratulations.
- Yeah.Copy !req
280. - I've always loved this house.
- Yes, it's a wonderful place.Copy !req
281. The truth is, I never really imagined
I could afford it.Copy !req
282. Well, the sellers
are very motivated now.Copy !req
283. It's a scary decision.
I never thought I'd buy a house alone.Copy !req
284. But, you know, I'm 36,
and I wonder what it is I'm waiting for.Copy !req
285. - Home buying is always scary.
- And with the fire and all especially.Copy !req
286. Well, it's a good size though,
2200 square feet...Copy !req
287. not including
the partially finished basement.Copy !req
288. Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
289. - I'm thinking I should go.
- It's a perfect size for someone alone.Copy !req
290. I like it, I do. I'm just really concerned
about dying in the fire.Copy !req
291. It's a big decision
how one prefers to die.Copy !req
292. Would you like to meet my son?
Derek.Copy !req
293. Derek's living in the basement
since his divorce, if that's okay.Copy !req
294. Hey, Morn.Copy !req
295. - Let's go, Ma.
- I want just a minute.Copy !req
296. I never...Copy !req
297. Forgive me, dear. I can't cry.Copy !req
298. I don't know what it is,
but I can't cry.Copy !req
299. It seems to me
that you're just on another trip.Copy !req
300. I keep expecting you.
Why did you do it?Copy !req
301. I search and I search
and I can't understand it.Copy !req
302. I made the last payment
on the house today.Copy !req
303. We're free and clear.
We're free. We're free.Copy !req
304. - Well done.
- Bravo.Copy !req
305. - Well done. It was very successful.
- I thought it was wonderful.Copy !req
306. Why did the older people
look so young?Copy !req
307. It was a choice, Dad.
I'll explain later.Copy !req
308. I can't get excited about your restaging
someone else's old play, it just...Copy !req
309. There's nothing personal in it.Copy !req
310. People are coming out of the theater
crying.Copy !req
311. Great. Be a fucking tool
of suburban, blue-haired...Copy !req
312. regional-theater subscribers.Copy !req
313. - You didn't you think it was long?
- No.Copy !req
314. But what are you leaving behind?Copy !req
315. You act as if you have forever
to figure it out.Copy !req
316. When you're dead, there's no time.
The world is...Copy !req
317. I don't know.
I slept maybe three hours.Copy !req
318. So we're both tired.Copy !req
319. No, I cuddled with Olive all night.
It was great.Copy !req
320. Morning. Morning.Copy !req
321. - Morning, Caden.
- I think I might have arthritis.Copy !req
322. Friends on fire.Copy !req
323. I'm going to.Copy !req
324. No, I know exactly.
Okay, I will. I'll call you later.Copy !req
325. I know. You're right. Bye.Copy !req
326. My joints are stiff.Copy !req
327. Who was that?Copy !req
328. - Maria.
- Right.Copy !req
329. Three hours since you spoke.Copy !req
330. Caden, I think I wanna go to Berlin
with just Olive.Copy !req
331. - I think it would be good for us.
- Oh, Christ.Copy !req
332. Morning, kiddos.Copy !req
333. Why don't you want me to go?Copy !req
334. You know, I think it would be a good
thing for the two of us to do alone.Copy !req
335. How do you think I'm supposed
to respond to something like that?Copy !req
336. - Want me to zip your coat up?
- Yeah.Copy !req
337. What's wrong with your face,
Daddy?Copy !req
338. It's pustules.Copy !req
339. It's called sycosis.Copy !req
340. Spelled differently than "psychosis,"
but it sounds the same.Copy !req
341. I don't know what that means.Copy !req
342. Of course not.Copy !req
343. Well, there are two kinds of psychosis.
They're spelled differently.Copy !req
344. P-S-Y is like if you're crazy,
like Mama.Copy !req
345. S-Y is like these ugly things
on my face.Copy !req
346. - You could have both, though.
- I could, but I don't.Copy !req
347. Can I ask you something, Ad?Copy !req
348. Have I disappointed you somehow?Copy !req
349. I don't know what I'm doing.
We're just spending a little time apart.Copy !req
350. We'll talk when I get back, okay?Copy !req
351. Everyone is disappointing.
The more you know someone, it just...Copy !req
352. This whole romantic-love thing,
it's just a projection anyway, right?Copy !req
353. I mean, I don't know.Copy !req
354. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.Copy !req
355. I love you.Copy !req
356. I don't know what I'm doing.
I don't know.Copy !req
357. We'll talk when I get back.Copy !req
358. Okay?Copy !req
359. Flurostatin TR
allows you to live life...Copy !req
360. when it's your turn to face
the challenges of chemotherapy.Copy !req
361. Ask your doctor
if Flurostatin TR is right for you.Copy !req
362. and I'm on the first train
out of Palookaville.Copy !req
363. the Miracle Brush
can scour everything from bottles...Copy !req
364. - Rise and shine...
- Lift those legs...Copy !req
365. - I'm lonely.
- Yes. Anything else?Copy !req
366. - I'm hurt.
- Yes. And?Copy !req
367. I think Adele's right.
I'm not doing anything real...Copy !req
368. What would be real?Copy !req
369. I'm afraid I'm gonna die.Copy !req
370. I don't know what's wrong with me.Copy !req
371. I wanna do something important
while I'm still here.Copy !req
372. That would be the time to do it. I have
a book that might help you get better.Copy !req
373. - Better?
- It's called Getting Better.Copy !req
374. - Who wrote it?
- I did. All of these.Copy !req
375. - Wow, I never knew that.
- Yes. Well, wow, indeed.Copy !req
376. In conclusion... Cats eat rats...Copy !req
377. Within his own plumbing...
Me who am as a raw nerve...Copy !req
378. Synthetic vaginal juices...
Substantial crease...Copy !req
379. That's $45.Copy !req
380. Five. Five.Copy !req
381. Five.Copy !req
382. Some fives. That's not good.Copy !req
383. Keep with the flossing.
We'll see you in three months.Copy !req
384. Six. Six. Six.Copy !req
385. I'm gonna recommend
you see a periodontist.Copy !req
386. He'll probably recommend
gum surgery.Copy !req
387. - Hello?
- Hey, I'm so glad I finally got you.Copy !req
388. - Hello, who is this?
- It's Caden.Copy !req
389. Ellen?Copy !req
390. It's Caden. I can't wait to see you
and Olive on the 12th...Copy !req
391. No, I have to go.
I'm sorry, there's a party. I'm famous.Copy !req
392. Have fun...Copy !req
393. 911, state your emergency.Copy !req
394. - I'm sick! I'm sick!
- Ma'am?Copy !req
395. Mr. Cotard?Copy !req
396. Mr. Cotard.Copy !req
397. You've had a seizure of sorts.Copy !req
398. What does that mean?Copy !req
399. Seems to be some synaptic
degradation, fungal in origin.Copy !req
400. Autonomic functions
are going haywire.Copy !req
401. You'll lose your ability
to salivate, cry, et cetera.Copy !req
402. - Is it serious?
- We don't know. But, yes.Copy !req
403. We'll get you enrolled
in some biofeedback program.Copy !req
404. Maybe you can learn
some sort of manual override.Copy !req
405. We should get a drink.
It would be fun.Copy !req
406. - It would be weird.
- I like weird. I like you. See?Copy !req
407. Anyway, I don't wanna
make you uncomfortable, I...Copy !req
408. Okay, so I do
wanna make you uncomfortable.Copy !req
409. And what do we do with all this?Copy !req
410. You wanna come over to my place,
Cotard?Copy !req
411. I won't let you off the hook this time
by saying, "Never mind."Copy !req
412. Adele is only on vacation.Copy !req
413. She hasn't called since she left.
It's been a year.Copy !req
414. It's been a week.Copy !req
415. I'm gonna buy you a calendar.Copy !req
416. Just for one drink.Copy !req
417. Come on. Scraps for my scrapbook.Copy !req
418. I can't... I really can't drink very much
because of my condition.Copy !req
419. Did you put something in it?Copy !req
420. If that's what it takes,
consider it done.Copy !req
421. Love potion number 69.Copy !req
422. - It's good.
- Does it make you wanna kiss me?Copy !req
423. - Kind of.
- Tell me why.Copy !req
424. Because I feel a lot of longing.Copy !req
425. Beg a girl, why don't you?Copy !req
426. - Please, Hazel.
- On your knees.Copy !req
427. What?Copy !req
428. I want you to beg me
on your knees for a kiss.Copy !req
429. Just for fun.Copy !req
430. Why am I doing this?Copy !req
431. For fun, baby.Copy !req
432. Will you help me
forget my troubles?Copy !req
433. Oh, kiddo.Copy !req
434. You don't even know.Copy !req
435. - What?
- I don't know.Copy !req
436. - What is it?
- I don't know, I'm sorry.Copy !req
437. I'm sorry.Copy !req
438. - What?
- I don't know, I'm just...Copy !req
439. I'm just really confused.Copy !req
440. I'm sorry.Copy !req
441. I...Copy !req
442. I'm really sick.Copy !req
443. And I think I'm dying.Copy !req
444. I have a kid, and I'm married.Copy !req
445. I just thought
this might change things, you know?Copy !req
446. I had a good time,
and I think you're a very nice person.Copy !req
447. That is just the wrong thing
to say right now, Caden.Copy !req
448. You should go.Copy !req
449. Hazel. Leave a message or not.
It's your dime.Copy !req
450. Hi. You know,
I haven't heard from you in a while...Copy !req
451. and I just thought I'd call
and say hi.Copy !req
452. Hi, Hazel.Copy !req
453. Now. Now. Be here now.Copy !req
454. Olive wanted me to ask you
not to read her diary.Copy !req
455. She left it under her pillow
by mistake.Copy !req
456. Dear Mr. Cotard,
it is my pleasure to inform you...Copy !req
457. that you have been named
a 2009 MacArthur Fellow.Copy !req
458. It is our hope that you will use
your newly found financial freedom...Copy !req
459. to create something unflinchingly
true, profoundly beautiful...Copy !req
460. and of unremitting value
to your community and to the world.Copy !req
461. - I got this MacArthur grant.
- Oh, Caden.Copy !req
462. - Yeah, a lot of money.
- Know what you're gonna do with it?Copy !req
463. Theater piece.
Something big and true and tough.Copy !req
464. I'm gonna finally put my real self
into something.Copy !req
465. What is your real self, do you think?Copy !req
466. I don't know yet.Copy !req
467. The MacArthur is called
"the genius grant"...Copy !req
468. and I wanna earn it.Copy !req
469. That's wonderful. God bless.Copy !req
470. I guess you'll have to discover
your real self, right?Copy !req
471. Yeah.Copy !req
472. I wanted to ask you, how old are kids
when they start to write?Copy !req
473. There's an absolutely brilliant novel
written by a 4-year-old.Copy !req
474. - Really?
- Little Winky by Horace Azpiazu.Copy !req
475. - That's cute.
- Oh, hardly.Copy !req
476. Little Winky
is a virulent anti-Semite.Copy !req
477. The story follows his initiation
into the Klan...Copy !req
478. his immersion
in the pornographic snuff industry...Copy !req
479. and his ultimate degradation
at the hands of a black ex-convict...Copy !req
480. named Eric Washington Jackson
Jones Johnson...Copy !req
481. - Written by a 4-year-old?
- ... Jefferson.Copy !req
482. Written by a 4-year-old?Copy !req
483. Well, Azpiazu killed himself
when he was 5.Copy !req
484. - Why did he kill himself?
- I don't know. Why did you?Copy !req
485. What?Copy !req
486. I said, why would you?Copy !req
487. Oh, I don't know.Copy !req
488. Yeah, I wanna bring my production
to New York...Copy !req
489. to get it seen by people,
you know, who matter.Copy !req
490. - The sooner the better.
- This theater, centrally located.Copy !req
491. Heart of the theater district,
so, you know, great for plays.Copy !req
492. - Yeah?
- Oh, yeah. Absolutely. There it is.Copy !req
493. - What was this used for?
- Plays.Copy !req
494. - Like, theater plays?
- Shakespeare.Copy !req
495. King Lear.Copy !req
496. The storm.Copy !req
497. You see, the idea
is to do a massive theater piece.Copy !req
498. You know, uncompromising, honest.Copy !req
499. Here's what I think theater is.
It's the beginning of thought.Copy !req
500. It's the truth not yet spoken.Copy !req
501. It's what a man feels like
after he's been clocked in the jaw.Copy !req
502. It's love in all its messiness.Copy !req
503. You know, and I want all of us,
players and patrons alike...Copy !req
504. to soak
in the communal bath of it...Copy !req
505. the mikvah, as the Jews call it.Copy !req
506. Because we're all in the same water,
after all.Copy !req
507. You know, soaking
in our very menstrual blood...Copy !req
508. and nocturnal emissions.Copy !req
509. This is what I wanna try
to give people.Copy !req
510. Okay, here you go.
Here's your salad.Copy !req
511. - Here's your soup.
- Thanks.Copy !req
512. - Thank you.
- Enjoy.Copy !req
513. - What are you doing?
- Salivating.Copy !req
514. The biofeedback training.Copy !req
515. - So I was wondering if you'd help.
- In your box office?Copy !req
516. No, as my assistant.Copy !req
517. I'm not sure I can work with you,
Caden.Copy !req
518. I'm kind of angry.Copy !req
519. I just wanna normalize it.Copy !req
520. I think we'd have a lot of fun
together.Copy !req
521. I miss you.Copy !req
522. - Really disturbing.
- I know.Copy !req
523. Dear diary, thank you
for being my new best friend.Copy !req
524. My name is Olive Cotard,
and I'm 4 years old.Copy !req
525. I like chocolate,
and my favorite color is pink.Copy !req
526. This is pink.Copy !req
527. Yeah, that's good.Copy !req
528. - Next.
- Hi.Copy !req
529. We'll start by talking honestly...Copy !req
530. and out of that,
a piece of theater will evolve.Copy !req
531. I'll begin.Copy !req
532. I've been thinking a lot
about dying lately.Copy !req
533. - You're gonna be fine, sweetie.
- Well, I appreciate that, Claire, but...Copy !req
534. You are, you poor thing.Copy !req
535. Yeah, well, regardless of how
this particular thing works itself out...Copy !req
536. I will be dying.Copy !req
537. And so will you.Copy !req
538. And so will everyone here.Copy !req
539. And that's what I wanna explore.Copy !req
540. We're all hurtling towards death.Copy !req
541. Yet here we are,
for the moment, alive...Copy !req
542. each of us knowing
we're gonna die...Copy !req
543. each of us
secretly believing we won't.Copy !req
544. It's brilliant.Copy !req
545. It's everything.Copy !req
546. It's Karamazov.Copy !req
547. - Stop.
- I'm just asking.Copy !req
548. - You're so obnoxious.
- You're so obnoxious.Copy !req
549. - You do not wanna cross me.
- Don't I?Copy !req
550. Hi, Claire.Copy !req
551. - Hi.
- Hazel.Copy !req
552. Yeah. No, no. I know, I know. Hazel.
You're the box office.Copy !req
553. - Yeah, I'm the box office.
- How are you?Copy !req
554. Wonderful. You?Copy !req
555. Yeah, yeah. I'm good. I'm fine.
Thank you.Copy !req
556. Actually, I'm meeting Caden here.
You know Mr. Cotard, right?Copy !req
557. Yes, I recall Mr. Cotard.Copy !req
558. Yeah. I'm waiting...Copy !req
559. - Hey.
- Hi, Caden.Copy !req
560. - Hi, Caden.
- Hi, Hazel. Hi, Claire.Copy !req
561. Hi.Copy !req
562. - This is Derek.
- Hi, Derek.Copy !req
563. - Hi, Derek.
- Hi, Derek.Copy !req
564. Hi.Copy !req
565. Well, we'll leave you be.
It's nice to see you again.Copy !req
566. - Take care.
- Why am I bowing? Okay, bye.Copy !req
567. - That was awkward.
- Yeah, I guess.Copy !req
568. Do you like beaver...?Copy !req
569. So could you tell me maybe
what it is that you want from me?Copy !req
570. You know, like, from my character.Copy !req
571. Well, we'll build it over time
together.Copy !req
572. You know, try to find a real person,
maybe, to model it after.Copy !req
573. That Hazel girl's
kind of interesting maybe.Copy !req
574. - You know, like, why...?
- Although...Copy !req
575. Why is she still working
at a box office at her age?Copy !req
576. I don't know.
Probably not that interesting.Copy !req
577. Maybe she wanted to be an actress,
but she lacked the confidence.Copy !req
578. - Yeah, we'll talk about it.
- I'm so excited.Copy !req
579. Really? Why?Copy !req
580. Because I think that it's brave.Copy !req
581. And I just feel like
I'm gonna be part of a revolution.Copy !req
582. I keep thinking about Artaud,
Krapp's Last Tape...Copy !req
583. you know, and Grotowski,
for chrissake.Copy !req
584. I don't know what I'm doing.Copy !req
585. But that's what so refreshing.Copy !req
586. Knowing that you don't know...Copy !req
587. is the first and the most essential
step to knowing, you know?Copy !req
588. I don't know.Copy !req
589. - Well, I'm proud of you.
- Thanks.Copy !req
590. - Don't say that, not to me.
- Oh, sorry.Copy !req
591. My mother died last night.Copy !req
592. Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
What are you doing out?Copy !req
593. - This is me.
- Well...Copy !req
594. Well, it was nice meeting you.
Oh, God, did I just say "meeting"?Copy !req
595. - I'm sorry. I'm so stupid.
- Slip of the tongue, is all.Copy !req
596. Yeah, it's a Freudian slip, right?Copy !req
597. I don't know how it's Freudian.Copy !req
598. To meet, you know? Like, to meet.Copy !req
599. There she met Ralph Keene.
They fell in love, married...Copy !req
600. and soon their first child,
Claire, was born.Copy !req
601. I used to be a baby.Copy !req
602. Claire Elizabeth Keene
was a joyous child...Copy !req
603. - I'm sorry.
- ... the apple of her mother's eye.Copy !req
604. She made her parents proud with her
politeness and gymnastic skills.Copy !req
605. God, you're beautiful.Copy !req
606. When she was 7, little Claire
was bitten by the acting bug.Copy !req
607. She starred
in almost every school musical...Copy !req
608. playing Ado Annie in Oklahoma...Copy !req
609. Adelaide in Guys And Dolls,
and Maria in The Sound Of Music.Copy !req
610. I have to fuck you. I have to.Copy !req
611. There will be no other before you.Copy !req
612. I'd like to buy a ticket, please.Copy !req
613. - Okay. Hold it.
- That'll be $40.Copy !req
614. We're not really...
We need to investigate.Copy !req
615. You know, to really discover
the essence of each being.Copy !req
616. You know, I think I need to work
with both of you separately.Copy !req
617. Davis, I'll start with you.Copy !req
618. I liked the beginning.
I don't wanna see a good scene...Copy !req
619. "Davis, I'll start with you"?Copy !req
620. There's a difference between favoring
me and pretending we've never met.Copy !req
621. I mean, we've had Ariel.
I think people know that we've fucked.Copy !req
622. We'll talk about your character
after we put Ariel to bed, okay?Copy !req
623. I think I made a breakthrough.Copy !req
624. - This character is so beautiful...
- Yeah, I have to go find my daughter.Copy !req
625. - Your daughter's right here.
- My real daughter.Copy !req
626. - Excuse me?
- I mean, my first daughter, Olive.Copy !req
627. - I have to go find her.
- Please don't do this to us.Copy !req
628. She's tattooed. She's tattooed.Copy !req
629. Oh, everyone is tattooed.Copy !req
630. Oh, I've never seen that before.Copy !req
631. - You have responsibilities.
- Yeah, I'll be quick. I'll do it quick.Copy !req
632. Redundancy is fluid.
Life moves to the south.Copy !req
633. There is only the now,
and I am always with you.Copy !req
634. For example, look to your left.Copy !req
635. Hi.Copy !req
636. When you canceled, it freed me up,
so I'm traveling too.Copy !req
637. You know,
I'm not sure I'm getting the book.Copy !req
638. Oh, but it's getting you.
You're almost non-recognizable now.Copy !req
639. Thank you.Copy !req
640. I show you my leg. I stand close,
and you inhale my perfume.Copy !req
641. I offer my ripe flower to you
and you deny it.Copy !req
642. This book is over.Copy !req
643. Hi.Copy !req
644. I don't speak German.Copy !req
645. Yeah, yeah. I may help you, mister?Copy !req
646. I'm looking for Adele Cotard.
Adele Lack.Copy !req
647. We must not give addresses
or other personal informations.Copy !req
648. - I'm her husband.
- No, you are not her husbands...Copy !req
649. which is named Gunther
und Heinz.Copy !req
650. I'm the father of her daughter, Olive.Copy !req
651. I see. I'm sorry, I cannot help you.Copy !req
652. Dear diary, Germany is wonderful.
So many friends here.Copy !req
653. My new dads are great
and handsome...Copy !req
654. and brilliant directors of theater.Copy !req
655. Hello.Copy !req
656. You're here?Copy !req
657. Yeah. I live with Adele and Olive
and Gunther and Heinz...Copy !req
658. and Uschi and Britt.
I'm everyone's nanny.Copy !req
659. I wanna see my daughter.Copy !req
660. - Yeah, they sent me.
- They?Copy !req
661. Who are they?
Who the fuck are Uschi and Britt?Copy !req
662. Yeah, they decided it's not time
to see you yet.Copy !req
663. They decided? Who decided?
They had her tattooed.Copy !req
664. Oh, I did that. Olive is my project...Copy !req
665. She's a 4-year-old!Copy !req
666. She's a fucking 4-year-old!Copy !req
667. She's almost over 11 now.Copy !req
668. She's my muse.Copy !req
669. I love her.Copy !req
670. You don't love her!Copy !req
671. Where is she?Copy !req
672. What did you do to my daughter?Copy !req
673. Death comes faster than you think.Copy !req
674. - That was your last patient for the day.
- Let's stop this charade.Copy !req
675. I don't know
what you're talking about, doctor.Copy !req
676. You're actually having an affair
off set.Copy !req
677. - Palpable, huh?
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
678. - Who told you?
- And it's not good.Copy !req
679. - Not good, oh, okay.
- You're actors playing actors.Copy !req
680. You're in this scene, you're not
just filming it. You're in this scene.Copy !req
681. Just like that...Copy !req
682. As you're telling him this,
you realize you're attracted to him.Copy !req
683. How are you gonna let him know?Copy !req
684. And the guilt you feel about telling him
about somebody else knowing.Copy !req
685. Daddy, Daddy is mine.Copy !req
686. Daddy can't play now, honey.Copy !req
687. Daddy doesn't live with us anymore,
baby. He had to go find himself.Copy !req
688. They still feel a little tight in the toe.Copy !req
689. Have an argument.
You're having an argument. Have it.Copy !req
690. - I don't buy it.
- You, sir, are a horse's ass.Copy !req
691. What? Just get the fucking shoe.
You gave me two sizes too big.Copy !req
692. Tom, don't turn into another person
just because I say change your action.Copy !req
693. And this started just today?
It never happened before?Copy !req
694. Okay. Good.Copy !req
695. You can get dressed.Copy !req
696. I mean, you're a doctor, right?
Am I dying'? Can you tell me that?Copy !req
697. - No.
- No, you can't tell me?Copy !req
698. - I can't tell you.
- You can't tell me if you can't tell me?Copy !req
699. - No.
- No, you can't tell me...Copy !req
700. because you're not allowed to?
- No.Copy !req
701. - Caden.
- What are you doing here?Copy !req
702. I was wondering
if I was gonna bump into you.Copy !req
703. - You look great.
- Thanks.Copy !req
704. - Is that a new haircut?
- Yeah. For a while now.Copy !req
705. What are you doing in New York?Copy !req
706. I'm here with Derek and the boys.
A mini vacation.Copy !req
707. - The boys?
- Yeah. I thought you knew.Copy !req
708. - How old?
- Five.Copy !req
709. Twins. Robert and Daniel and Alan.Copy !req
710. Yes.Copy !req
711. They're nice names.
Where are they?Copy !req
712. Derek took them to the Natural History
so I could shop.Copy !req
713. It's so good to see you, Caden.
I... How are things?Copy !req
714. You know, I was with Claire.Copy !req
715. And we have a daughter.
But we're separated.Copy !req
716. How about with you?Copy !req
717. Good. I have a great job
at Lens Shapers.Copy !req
718. Shapers. Great. You wear a lab coat.Copy !req
719. - It's so good to see you.
- Oh, good to see you, Hazel.Copy !req
720. Hey! What are you doing?Copy !req
721. - I got you.
- Let me go.Copy !req
722. How I love Maria.Copy !req
723. She is so much more of a father
than Caden ever was...Copy !req
724. with his drinking and unfortunate
body odor and rotting teeth.Copy !req
725. I could only loathe him,
and perhaps pity him.Copy !req
726. But Maria.Copy !req
727. I wanna come back.Copy !req
728. I wanna take care of you and Olive.
Ariel. Ariel. Fuck.Copy !req
729. Ariel.Copy !req
730. No, no, no, it's so late. Please.Copy !req
731. No, no, no. Please.Copy !req
732. Hello?Copy !req
733. My father died.Copy !req
734. On, baby.Copy !req
735. They said his body was riddled
with cancer and that he didn't know.Copy !req
736. That he went in
because his finger hurt.Copy !req
737. They said he suffered horribly.Copy !req
738. And that he...Copy !req
739. That he called out for me
before he died.Copy !req
740. They said that he said
he regretted his life.Copy !req
741. And they said he said a lot of things.Copy !req
742. Too many to recount.Copy !req
743. They said it was the longest...Copy !req
744. and saddest deathbed speech
any of them had ever heard.Copy !req
745. There was so little left of him...Copy !req
746. they had to fill the coffin
with cotton balls...Copy !req
747. to keep him from rattling around.Copy !req
748. I'm really sorry for your loss.Copy !req
749. Thank you.
Can you excuse me a moment?Copy !req
750. - Of course.
- I need to use the bathroom.Copy !req
751. - All right.
- Okay.Copy !req
752. God bless you and your family.Copy !req
753. God bless you. Will you excuse me?Copy !req
754. It's Hazel. Leave a message or not.
It's your dime.Copy !req
755. It's left five people dead.Copy !req
756. Sorry.Copy !req
757. - Caden?
- Hi, Derek.Copy !req
758. Officials suspect arson.Copy !req
759. In other news,
German pharmaceutical giant...Copy !req
760. has won its libel suit
against patients...Copy !req
761. claiming chromosomal damage
from use of the arthritis medication...Copy !req
762. Will you just tell me what to do?Copy !req
763. In Pakistan today, the government...Copy !req
764. Caden, everyone has to figure out
their own life, you know.Copy !req
765. I just want you to look at me
the way you used to.Copy !req
766. Oh, honey, I can't anymore.Copy !req
767. You know I'm sorry.Copy !req
768. I screwed everything up,
and I don't have any courage.Copy !req
769. - And I'm sorry.
- Caden.Copy !req
770. - I'm okay.
- I don't want you to be okay.Copy !req
771. I mean, I do, but it just...Copy !req
772. It rips my guts out.Copy !req
773. I'll help you through any way I can.Copy !req
774. And I'll help you through too.Copy !req
775. I'm fine.Copy !req
776. I have Derek.Copy !req
777. Okay, I'm going.Copy !req
778. Honey, I'm coming.Copy !req
779. Dear diary, today I felt a wetness
between my legs.Copy !req
780. Maria explained to me
now I am a woman.Copy !req
781. And being a woman is wonderful
with Maria to guide me.Copy !req
782. Olive?Copy !req
783. Olive.Copy !req
784. Olive, it's Daddy.Copy !req
785. Olive, it's Daddy.Copy !req
786. Olive, it's Daddy! Olive, it's Daddy!Copy !req
787. Don't fucking stare at me! Olive!Copy !req
788. Get off! It's my daughter!
That's my daughter!Copy !req
789. Get off! Get off!Copy !req
790. I won't settle for anything less
than the brutal truth.Copy !req
791. Brutal. Brutal.Copy !req
792. Each clay I'll hand you a paper. It'll tell
you what happened to you that day.Copy !req
793. You felt a lump in your breast.Copy !req
794. You looked at your wife
and saw a stranger, et cetera.Copy !req
795. - Caden?
- What?Copy !req
796. When are we gonna
get an audience in here?Copy !req
797. It's been 17 years.Copy !req
798. All right, I'm not excusing myself
from this either.Copy !req
799. I will have someone play me...Copy !req
800. to delve into the murky,
cowardly depths...Copy !req
801. of my lonely, fucked-up being.Copy !req
802. And he'll get notes too,
and those notes will correspond...Copy !req
803. to the notes I truly receive
every day from my god.Copy !req
804. Get to work!Copy !req
805. They fired me.Copy !req
806. - I caused an outbreak of conjunctivitis.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
807. I didn't wash my hands.
I had pinkeye hands.Copy !req
808. - Oh, God.
- I'm a stupid cow.Copy !req
809. Fucking private Christian school
is killing us. You know, it's not cheap.Copy !req
810. It's Derek's thing.
I don't believe in that shit, you know.Copy !req
811. You try to be a good person.
I mean, that's all there is.Copy !req
812. Do you have anything for me,
Caden'?Copy !req
813. I mean, I already have an assistant.Copy !req
814. - I don't have a box office yet, but...
- Please, Caden.Copy !req
815. Please, Caden. I...Copy !req
816. Please, Caden.Copy !req
817. Sammy Barnathan?Copy !req
818. Sit. Sammy Barnathan.Copy !req
819. I don't have a résumé or a picture.Copy !req
820. - I've never worked as an actor.
- Good. Tell me why you're here.Copy !req
821. Well, I've been...Copy !req
822. I've been following you for 20 years.Copy !req
823. So I knew about this audition
because I follow you.Copy !req
824. And I've learned everything about you
by following you.Copy !req
825. So hire me,
and you'll see who you truly are.Copy !req
826. Peekaboo.Copy !req
827. Hazel, I don't think we need to talk to
anyone else. This guy has me down.Copy !req
828. I'm gonna cast him right now.
Then maybe you and I can get a drink.Copy !req
829. And we can try to figure out
this thing between us...Copy !req
830. why I cried.Copy !req
831. Because I've never felt about anybody
the way I feel about you.Copy !req
832. And I wanna fuck you
until we merge into a chimera...Copy !req
833. a mythical beast with penis
and vagina eternally fused...Copy !req
834. two pairs of eyes
that look only at each other...Copy !req
835. and lips ever touching.Copy !req
836. And one voice that whispers to itself.Copy !req
837. Yeah. You've got the part.Copy !req
838. I've never seen your shit gray.Copy !req
839. It's new.Copy !req
840. That's a good boy.Copy !req
841. - When is it opening?
- When it's ready.Copy !req
842. - We need to get in. It's bad out here.
- Sorry.Copy !req
843. You know, I was thinking
of calling it Simulacrum.Copy !req
844. I don't even know what it means.Copy !req
845. Can I have a nickel if I doesn't play
with my pee-pee no more?Copy !req
846. Yeah.Copy !req
847. How about
The Flawed Light of Love and Grief?Copy !req
848. I'm not sure.Copy !req
849. Claire, I want you to play yourself.Copy !req
850. Sammy's gonna move
into your apartment set as me.Copy !req
851. It would be my honor
to play your husband, Claire.Copy !req
852. You're an amazing actress.Copy !req
853. No, I saw you do Bernarda Alba
last year at the Roundabout.Copy !req
854. Yeah?Copy !req
855. That was a fun play.Copy !req
856. Emotionally, it was tough,
but fucking fulfilling.Copy !req
857. Plus, I loved working
with so many strong female actresses.Copy !req
858. I'm gonna start thinking
about myself.Copy !req
859. Start, huh?Copy !req
860. Who is Claire Keen?
Claire Keen. Claire Keen.Copy !req
861. - Why did we leave Adele, Caden?
- Claire Keen. Well...Copy !req
862. She left us.Copy !req
863. You know that better than anybody.Copy !req
864. Except me.Copy !req
865. An amazing artist though.
The best living artist.Copy !req
866. I mean, there's no one who stares
the truth in the face like she does.Copy !req
867. Sweet pussy too.Copy !req
868. How do you know that?Copy !req
869. I read it.Copy !req
870. Anyway...Copy !req
871. I mean, I don't know where she is.Copy !req
872. Well, maybe she's got a sublet
in New York.Copy !req
873. Maybe she's got a retrospective
at the Met. Maybe, baby.Copy !req
874. Why are you giving me this?Copy !req
875. I wanna follow you there and see
how you lose even more of yourself.Copy !req
876. Research.Copy !req
877. You know, for the part.Copy !req
878. Partner.Copy !req
879. Hold it. Hold it, please.Copy !req
880. Hold it, please.Copy !req
881. I asked you to hold the door.Copy !req
882. I'm sorry. I pressed the button,
but I think it was too late.Copy !req
883. You didn't press it.Copy !req
884. - Have a good night.
- Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
885. - Are you Ellen? Ellen?
- What?Copy !req
886. - Are you Ellen Bascomb?
- What?Copy !req
887. I'm to give the key to 31Y
to Ellen Bascomb.Copy !req
888. Yes, I'm Ellen.Copy !req
889. She said you should just go ahead
and get started.Copy !req
890. - And don't forget to change the sheets.
- Okay, thanks.Copy !req
891. Oh, sweetheart.Copy !req
892. Adele?Copy !req
893. Adele?Copy !req
894. Hi, Ellen. Be a doll and do the sheets
and whatever's in the hamper.Copy !req
895. Your money's under the toaster.
Kisses, Adele.Copy !req
896. P.S. Bag of stuff in bedroom closet
for Goodwill. Take what you want.Copy !req
897. Went for a walk. I had to think.Copy !req
898. All night?Copy !req
899. You smell weird.
Are you wearing lipstick?Copy !req
900. No.Copy !req
901. What do I smell like?Copy !req
902. Like bad? Like an old person?Copy !req
903. I don't know.
Like mold and cleaning products.Copy !req
904. Like you're menstruating.
I don't know.Copy !req
905. Menstruating?Copy !req
906. You tell me.Copy !req
907. I don't menstruate. I don't know how
I could smell like I'm menstruating.Copy !req
908. I wouldn't know.Copy !req
909. I don't like the guy you got
to play you.Copy !req
910. You don't like Sammy? Why?
I think he's good.Copy !req
911. Fuck you. I'm 45 years old.
I don't wanna do this shit anymore.Copy !req
912. He's the best thing in the play
except you.Copy !req
913. He's coming on to me.
He's grabbing my ass in rehearsal.Copy !req
914. - He's your husband.
- Good, Jimmy.Copy !req
915. He's not my goddamn husband.
You are.Copy !req
916. What the fuck is wrong with you?Copy !req
917. - I'm going to rehearsal.
- It's about the play.Copy !req
918. - We're getting at something real here.
- That's great, you guys.Copy !req
919. Beautiful, Sammy.Copy !req
920. - Caden? Time-out?
- Yeah.Copy !req
921. What's up?Copy !req
922. Well, I feel we need a Hazel in here.Copy !req
923. I mean, there's a whole side of Caden
I can't explore without a Hazel.Copy !req
924. - I guess, yeah.
- I get to be a character?Copy !req
925. Yeah.Copy !req
926. Hi, Ellen.
Crackerjack job last night.Copy !req
927. Would you do sheets again?Copy !req
928. We had quite a fuck,
and it's musky and gross. Kisses, A.Copy !req
929. Hi, Adele. Relined the cabinets.Copy !req
930. I just wanted to let you know
I won a MacArthur Grant.Copy !req
931. And I'm mounting a play which
I think is gonna be pure and truthful.Copy !req
932. Best, Ellen.Copy !req
933. I went for a walk. I had to think.Copy !req
934. Caden, what are you doing at night?Copy !req
935. I have a right to fucking know.Copy !req
936. I've been going to Adele's place.Copy !req
937. And cleaning it.Copy !req
938. Do you have any idea
what I've given up for you? For this?Copy !req
939. For you? For you?
Could you please get that?Copy !req
940. - This looks serious. Am I interrupting?
- What's going on, Hazel?Copy !req
941. I just wanted you to know
that the actress playing me...Copy !req
942. is ready to start today.Copy !req
943. That's great. That's all we need
around here, is two Hazels.Copy !req
944. Okay, I'll take that as my cue.Copy !req
945. - Maybe you could clean her toilet.
- Maybe I will.Copy !req
946. This is over.Copy !req
947. - No, Claire...
- I'm not talking to you.Copy !req
948. I didn't say I was gonna
clean Hazel's toilet. He did.Copy !req
949. - But you thought it!
- I thought it, but I didn't say it.Copy !req
950. I got an offer to do
Needleman in a Haystack.Copy !req
951. And I'm gonna take it.
I want you out of the apartment.Copy !req
952. The real one. You can keep this one.Copy !req
953. Claire.Copy !req
954. Jesus. Claire.Copy !req
955. Hi, yeah, we're gonna need
a Claire replacement.Copy !req
956. Claire, I didn't say it.Copy !req
957. I already put out a call
for a Claire replacement.Copy !req
958. But I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to move on.Copy !req
959. Just like that?
You don't give a guy even a chance?Copy !req
960. I'm not a chance-giving girl.
I'm a fun-loving girl, remember?Copy !req
961. I try and be fun-loving, see?Copy !req
962. Sorry.Copy !req
963. My analyst says
you have complexes.Copy !req
964. Once you enjoyed
Needleman's complexes.Copy !req
965. - That's before my analyst taught me...
- This is the last of my stuff.Copy !req
966. - Bye.
- Bye. From the top?Copy !req
967. Oh, Needleman,
you had such potential.Copy !req
968. But I'm afraid
I'm gonna have to move on.Copy !req
969. I'm sorry. Okay.Copy !req
970. Oh, Needleman,
you had such potential.Copy !req
971. But I'm afraid
I'm going to have to move on.Copy !req
972. Just like that?
You don't give a guy a chance?Copy !req
973. I'm not a chance-giving girl.
I'm a fun-loving girl.Copy !req
974. Once you enjoyed
Needleman's complexes.Copy !req
975. That's before my analyst taught me...Copy !req
976. This is a lie.Copy !req
977. Come here.
I try to be fun-loving, see?Copy !req
978. - She told me your hatred of...
- Will.Copy !req
979. Wall it up. All of it.Copy !req
980. Claire.Copy !req
981. Oh, Needleman.Copy !req
982. All right.Copy !req
983. Good for you with your grant.Copy !req
984. Listen, I fixed up the walk-in
as a sort of bedroom if you want.Copy !req
985. We'd love to have you...Copy !req
986. and you wouldn't have to schlep
all the way to Queens.Copy !req
987. It's just a thought. Kisses, A.Copy !req
988. Dear diary, I'm afraid I'm gravely ill.Copy !req
989. It is perhaps times like these
that one reflects on things past.Copy !req
990. An article of clothing
from when I was young.Copy !req
991. A green jacket.
A walk with my father.Copy !req
992. A game we once played.
Pretend we're fairies.Copy !req
993. I'm a girl fairy,
and my name is Lauralee...Copy !req
994. and you're a boy fairy,
and your name is Teetery.Copy !req
995. Pretend when we're fairies,
we fight each other.Copy !req
996. And I say, "Stop hitting me or I'll die."
And you hit me again, and I say:Copy !req
997. "Now I have to die."
And you say, "But I'll miss you."Copy !req
998. And I say, "But I have to.Copy !req
999. And you'll have to wait a million years
to see me again.Copy !req
1000. And I'll be put in a box...Copy !req
1001. and all I'll need
is a tiny glass of water...Copy !req
1002. and lots of tiny pieces of pizza.Copy !req
1003. And the box will have wings
like an airplane."Copy !req
1004. And you ask,
"Where will it take you?"Copy !req
1005. "Home," I say.Copy !req
1006. This is to hear.Copy !req
1007. - So words... English here, yeah?
- Okay.Copy !req
1008. I'm dying...Copy !req
1009. as I'm sure Maria told you.Copy !req
1010. The flower tattoos have become
infected and they're dying.Copy !req
1011. So I am as well. This is life.Copy !req
1012. It's Maria. She did this.Copy !req
1013. Maria gave me a reason to live
once you left.Copy !req
1014. The flowers defined me.Copy !req
1015. Your mother and Maria
took you away.Copy !req
1016. I've tried for years to find you.
I didn't leave you.Copy !req
1017. I want to talk to you
about your homosexuality.Copy !req
1018. - I'm not a homosexual.
- Maria said you would deny it.Copy !req
1019. Well, she's a liar. She's lying to you.Copy !req
1020. I had the same struggle
when I first fell in love with Maria...Copy !req
1021. and we began to have dirty,
aching sex.Copy !req
1022. Maria is your lover?Copy !req
1023. Of course.
She introduced me to myself...Copy !req
1024. to my vagina and to hers.Copy !req
1025. You have no idea how evil she is.Copy !req
1026. I need to forgive you before I die...Copy !req
1027. but I can't forgive someone
who has not asked for forgiveness.Copy !req
1028. - I just want...
- I have no time.Copy !req
1029. I need you to ask for forgiveness.Copy !req
1030. Can you ever forgive me?Copy !req
1031. - For what?
- For abandoning you.Copy !req
1032. For abandoning you
to have anal sex...Copy !req
1033. with my homosexual lover, Eric.Copy !req
1034. I Will, I'll say it.Copy !req
1035. For abandoning you...Copy !req
1036. to have anal sex
with my homosexual lover, Eric.Copy !req
1037. No.Copy !req
1038. No, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1039. I cannot.Copy !req
1040. I hope you are happy, faggot.Copy !req
1041. I'm not happy. I'm not happy.Copy !req
1042. I've talked to you before. This is not
a play about dating. It's about death.Copy !req
1043. Make it personal. Move along.Copy !req
1044. He doesn't need to yell at them.Copy !req
1045. It is a play about dating.
It's not a play just about death.Copy !req
1046. It's about everything.Copy !req
1047. Dating, birth, death, life, family...Copy !req
1048. all that.Copy !req
1049. - This doesn't look real.
- What?Copy !req
1050. - It's not real.
- I can't hear you.Copy !req
1051. - Morning, Haze.
- Hi, Caden. How was your night?Copy !req
1052. It was okay. Yours?Copy !req
1053. Phillip was colicky.
I was up all night.Copy !req
1054. - Oh, sorry.
- Sorry.Copy !req
1055. - Everybody here?
- Sammy's not here.Copy !req
1056. Jimmy called and said
there's some subway problem.Copy !req
1057. Sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
1058. - Hi, Hazel.
- Hi, Sammy.Copy !req
1059. Sammy likes you.Copy !req
1060. I need you to build this.
This is just the fagade.Copy !req
1061. It's Adele's place.
We'll be casting an Ellen.Copy !req
1062. I can give you the interiors later.Copy !req
1063. A few days?Copy !req
1064. - Can I look again?
- A slight shift in perspective on this.Copy !req
1065. Millicent Weems?Copy !req
1066. - Caden, this is...
- Hazel, what do you think of this title?Copy !req
1067. Unknown, Unkissed and Lost?Copy !req
1068. Anyway, this is Millicent Weems.Copy !req
1069. Have a seat.Copy !req
1070. How are you at cleaning?Copy !req
1071. - Very, very good at it.
- This part requires a lot of it.Copy !req
1072. You'd be playing a cleaning lady.Copy !req
1073. I played Egga, the cleaning lady,
in Hedda Gab/er at the Roundabout.Copy !req
1074. Great. Okay.Copy !req
1075. And Mrs. Dobson in Scrub-A-Dub
at the Pantages.Copy !req
1076. You're weirdly close
to what I visualize for this character.Copy !req
1077. Glad to be weirdly close.Copy !req
1078. Sorry, everybody.Copy !req
1079. - Maurice, what's going on?
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
1080. We have a couple of new guys on.
We're not in sync yet.Copy !req
1081. - We good to go?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
1082. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1083. Fuck.Copy !req
1084. Are you Ellen?
Are you Ellen Bascomb?Copy !req
1085. Shit.Copy !req
1086. Line, please?Copy !req
1087. Ellen... "What?"Copy !req
1088. Right, right. What?Copy !req
1089. I'm to give the key to 31Y
to Ellen Bascomb.Copy !req
1090. Yes, I'm Ellen.Copy !req
1091. Oh, dear. It's the wrong key.Copy !req
1092. I'll be in, in a second.Copy !req
1093. - Did you hear that?
- What?Copy !req
1094. - You're breaking the fourth wall.
- This is the wrong key.Copy !req
1095. - I'm supposed to open the door.
- Hold on.Copy !req
1096. - Are you in there?
- There's no one in there.Copy !req
1097. - Adele?
- Caden.Copy !req
1098. I don't think it's... It's not quite...Copy !req
1099. I'm jumping in the shower.
I'll be out in a second.Copy !req
1100. Do you want some coffee?
I can make a fresh pot.Copy !req
1101. Did you look at the new painting
on my easel? What do you think?Copy !req
1102. Hey, thanks for the fuck
this morning.Copy !req
1103. - People don't walk like that.
- What? Is it too...?Copy !req
1104. No, just walk like yourself.Copy !req
1105. Watch. Watch this.Copy !req
1106. I gotta go.Copy !req
1107. Watch this.Copy !req
1108. Where's Hazel and Sammy?Copy !req
1109. Sammy.Copy !req
1110. Sammy. Sammy.Copy !req
1111. - Hi, Caden.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
1112. I was being you.Copy !req
1113. You know, you like Hazel,
I like Hazel.Copy !req
1114. This Hazel doesn't exist for you. If you
wanna like a Hazel, like that one.Copy !req
1115. That's what I tried to tell him.Copy !req
1116. No harm, no foul, Caden.
It's equity break anyway.Copy !req
1117. Ten minutes, everybody!Copy !req
1118. - Hazel.
- What?Copy !req
1119. - You don't like him, do you?
- Yeah, he reminds me of you.Copy !req
1120. I'm me. You don't need someone
to remind you of me.Copy !req
1121. Oh, don't worry, Caden.
I like you more.Copy !req
1122. I do. It's just, Sammy's fun.Copy !req
1123. - I'm fun.
- Oh, sweetie, no, you're not.Copy !req
1124. Hold on a sec. Yes?Copy !req
1125. - Is this Caden Cotard?
- Yes.Copy !req
1126. This is Officer Melnin
of Schenectady P.D.Copy !req
1127. I'm sorry to inform you your mother's
been the victim of a home invasion.Copy !req
1128. - What does that mean?
- She is dead.Copy !req
1129. Was my father standing with us?Copy !req
1130. I don't know what he looks like.Copy !req
1131. He's dead.Copy !req
1132. - So he looks dead, I guess.
- Probably wasn't him, then.Copy !req
1133. He was a big guy.Copy !req
1134. Anyway...Copy !req
1135. Thanks for coming with me.Copy !req
1136. That's okay.Copy !req
1137. I asked Hazel...Copy !req
1138. but she was busy tonight,
and you're the next best thing.Copy !req
1139. I mean, it's not
that you're the next best thing...Copy !req
1140. but because you play her,
it feels comforting.Copy !req
1141. Does that make sense?Copy !req
1142. Although the thing is,
off-stage you're nothing like her.Copy !req
1143. But you play her very well, though.Copy !req
1144. Did Hazel mention
what she was doing tonight?Copy !req
1145. Because I called her house
before we left...Copy !req
1146. and her husband told me
she wasn't gonna be back till late.Copy !req
1147. And I just thought that was weird
because she said Phillip was sick.Copy !req
1148. She's having dinner with Sammy.Copy !req
1149. - That's interesting.
- He's supposed to like me.Copy !req
1150. I'll have another talk with him.Copy !req
1151. Will you excuse me?
I need to go to the bathroom.Copy !req
1152. Don't forget your phone.Copy !req
1153. Thanks, Yammy.Copy !req
1154. It's Hazel. Leave a message or not.
It's your dime.Copy !req
1155. You can stay in my parents' room.Copy !req
1156. I thought someone
would have cleaned it up.Copy !req
1157. Who?Copy !req
1158. I don't know. Someone.Copy !req
1159. This is my room.
You can sleep here.Copy !req
1160. Where are you going to sleep?Copy !req
1161. - The living-room couch.
- Don't you want to sleep with me?Copy !req
1162. - It's just sex.
- Okay.Copy !req
1163. If you think it's okay.Copy !req
1164. - How can you be like that?
- I get undressed every day.Copy !req
1165. In front of someone is different.Copy !req
1166. I don't see why.Copy !req
1167. Maybe because
you have a beautiful body.Copy !req
1168. - Maybe that makes it easier.
- Yeah, I suppose it might.Copy !req
1169. Do you want to fuck?Copy !req
1170. I do. Do you?Copy !req
1171. - Take your clothes off.
- I'm sorry.Copy !req
1172. I'm very, very lonely.Copy !req
1173. I don't...Copy !req
1174. know what's wrong. I just...Copy !req
1175. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1176. Do you understand?Copy !req
1177. I mean,
can you understand loneliness?Copy !req
1178. Yeah. I mean...Copy !req
1179. I don't know, I feel okay, mostly.Copy !req
1180. Fucking might help.Copy !req
1181. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1182. It's okay, I don't mind.
Take your clothes off.Copy !req
1183. - You're very pretty.
- Thanks.Copy !req
1184. Sometimes I wish
I could be pretty like that.Copy !req
1185. What, you wish you were a girl?Copy !req
1186. Sometimes I think
I might have been better at it.Copy !req
1187. Interesting.
It's kind of a drag in a lot of ways.Copy !req
1188. - Do you like guys?
- No. I only love women.Copy !req
1189. Well, I'm getting cold.Copy !req
1190. You're pretty, Caden.Copy !req
1191. Thanks for saying that.Copy !req
1192. Come to bed, pretty Caden.Copy !req
1193. I shouldn't have drunk
so much fucking beer last night.Copy !req
1194. - What are you gonna do about it?
- Get lunch. What are you going to do?Copy !req
1195. - For chrissake.
- Good, Roland.Copy !req
1196. Thanks, Caden.Copy !req
1197. We need to fire him.Copy !req
1198. We don't need to fire him.Copy !req
1199. Jeremy's playing to us.Copy !req
1200. Tell him to talk to Donna
and we'll hear what we hear.Copy !req
1201. Sammy's explaining too much.
It feels expository.Copy !req
1202. It needs to be shorthand, like,
"Jeremy, big."Copy !req
1203. Caden, can we stop a second?Copy !req
1204. Sure.Copy !req
1205. If Hazel's in love with Sammy,
and Caden's in love with Hazel...Copy !req
1206. there would be a big confrontation
where Caden turns to me and says:Copy !req
1207. "It's obvious he's a substitute
for me."Copy !req
1208. Then I think Hazel would have
a good moment where she cries...Copy !req
1209. or gets angry, I'm not sure which yet,
but I think it's dramatically sound...Copy !req
1210. - That didn't happen.
- I think Hazel would do that.Copy !req
1211. - But Hazel hasn't done that, Tammy.
- Caden, what do you think?Copy !req
1212. I feel like we could try it.Copy !req
1213. - Great.
- Fuck.Copy !req
1214. Let's try it. Maybe it could happen
at the director's table.Copy !req
1215. Fuck.Copy !req
1216. You know, Tammy's right.Copy !req
1217. I don't understand
why you're with Sammy.Copy !req
1218. He's nice, he's available,
he fucks me without crying.Copy !req
1219. Since when are you available?Copy !req
1220. Derek left because of you.Copy !req
1221. When?
How come you never told me?Copy !req
1222. I don't know, Caden.
How come a lot of things, huh?Copy !req
1223. Fuck. I gotta let go of the actor
who played Derek. What's his name?Copy !req
1224. What?
That is such a romantic response.Copy !req
1225. - I am touched.
- It's not my response.Copy !req
1226. Derek is played by...Copy !req
1227. We have enormous
budgetary concerns here.Copy !req
1228. - ... Joe.
- Stop. Okay? No, just stop.Copy !req
1229. I do not like Tammy,
and she's nothing like me.Copy !req
1230. - How can you like her, anyway?
- She looks like you.Copy !req
1231. - Joe Abernathy. No, she does not.
- She offered to have sex with me.Copy !req
1232. - Abernathy?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1233. - Was it good?
- It was nice.Copy !req
1234. I'm just being honest. It was nice.
It wasn't earth-shattering.Copy !req
1235. - Did you cry?
- No.Copy !req
1236. You're making progress.Copy !req
1237. Okay, I cried a little before.Copy !req
1238. Hazel, you've been a part of me
forever. Don't you know that?Copy !req
1239. I breathe your name
in every exhalation.Copy !req
1240. - What are we doing?
- I don't know.Copy !req
1241. Oh, this is the place
I stayed with Derek and the kids.Copy !req
1242. - Yeah, we're almost...
- Caden.Copy !req
1243. Caden.Copy !req
1244. - Caden. Caden, look at me.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
1245. Sammy, stay right where you are.
I'm coming up.Copy !req
1246. There's nothing to talk about, Hazel.
It's not your fault.Copy !req
1247. - What are you doing?
- I've watched you forever, Caden.Copy !req
1248. But you've never really looked
at anyone other than yourself.Copy !req
1249. So watch me.Copy !req
1250. Watch my heart break.
Watch me jump.Copy !req
1251. Watch me learn
that after death there's nothing.Copy !req
1252. No more watching,
no more following, no love.Copy !req
1253. Say goodbye to Hazel for me.
And say it for yourself too.Copy !req
1254. - None of us has much time.
- Sammy! Come down!Copy !req
1255. Hazel, I love you!Copy !req
1256. Sammy!Copy !req
1257. I didn't jump, Sammy.Copy !req
1258. A man stopped me before I jumped.
Get up!Copy !req
1259. I didn'tjump.Copy !req
1260. I know how to do it now.Copy !req
1261. There are nearly 13 million people
in the world.Copy !req
1262. I mean, can you imagine
that many people?Copy !req
1263. And none of those people
is an extra.Copy !req
1264. They're all leads in their own stories.
They have to be given their due.Copy !req
1265. I know how to do it now.Copy !req
1266. There are 13 million people
in this world.Copy !req
1267. Can you imagine
how many people that is?Copy !req
1268. None of those people are an extra.
They're all a lead in their own story.Copy !req
1269. They have got to be given their due.Copy !req
1270. Do you see what I'm saying?Copy !req
1271. Come over tonight.Copy !req
1272. Please.Copy !req
1273. You know,
we could get a place together.Copy !req
1274. - We could get a loft.
- God, Caden, that sounds nice.Copy !req
1275. I miss my daughter.
Maybe she could come live with us.Copy !req
1276. I miss Olive.Copy !req
1277. And the other one.Copy !req
1278. - I'm a bad person.
- Oh, no, you're not.Copy !req
1279. I am. I should never have gone out
with Sammy.Copy !req
1280. I was just trying to get to you.Copy !req
1281. You can't cause someone
to kill himself.Copy !req
1282. He was very troubled.Copy !req
1283. God, Caden.Copy !req
1284. I wish we had this
when we were young.Copy !req
1285. And all those years in between.Copy !req
1286. My heart aches so much for you.Copy !req
1287. We're here, Caden.Copy !req
1288. - I'm here.
- I'm aching for it being over.Copy !req
1289. Yeah. The end is built
into the beginning.Copy !req
1290. What can you do?Copy !req
1291. - God, you're just perfect.
- I'm a mess.Copy !req
1292. - But we fit, don't we?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1293. It doesn't always happen
for me now...Copy !req
1294. because of the medication
and everything.Copy !req
1295. - I take a lot of pills.
- It's okay.Copy !req
1296. I'm embarrassed. I don't want you
to think it's about you or me.Copy !req
1297. It's okay.Copy !req
1298. I have a title.Copy !req
1299. The Obscure Moon
Lighting an Obscure World.Copy !req
1300. I think it might be too much.Copy !req
1301. Yeah, probably.Copy !req
1302. Sir, could you come up here,
please?Copy !req
1303. Might be smoke inhalation.Copy !req
1304. It's Hazel. Leave a message or not.
It's your dime.Copy !req
1305. I know how to do the play now.Copy !req
1306. It'll all take place
over the course of one day...Copy !req
1307. and that day
will be the day before you died.Copy !req
1308. It was the happiest day of my life.Copy !req
1309. And I'll be able to relive it forever.Copy !req
1310. See you soon.Copy !req
1311. So have you got any thoughts
for today's rehearsal?Copy !req
1312. I have a new title, maybe.Copy !req
1313. Infectious Diseases in Cattle.Copy !req
1314. The title means a lot of things.
You'll see, it means a lot.Copy !req
1315. I need a Caden for my Hazel.Copy !req
1316. I'd very much like to play Caden.Copy !req
1317. I know that...Copy !req
1318. I know that it would be
nontraditional casting...Copy !req
1319. but I think I could do it.
I think I understand him.Copy !req
1320. I don't understand him.Copy !req
1321. Well, Caden Cotard
is a man already dead.Copy !req
1322. He lives in a half world
between stasis and antistasis...Copy !req
1323. and time is concentrated,
chronology confused.Copy !req
1324. Yet up until recently,
he's strived valiantly...Copy !req
1325. to make sense of his situation.Copy !req
1326. But now he's turned to stone.Copy !req
1327. - Okay. Sounds good.
- Okay.Copy !req
1328. - Thanks.
- She's right?Copy !req
1329. I didn't see that at all.
I saw it as much more hopeful.Copy !req
1330. None of those people is extras.Copy !req
1331. They're all leads in their own stories.Copy !req
1332. No, this is tedious. This is nothing.Copy !req
1333. Hi, your scene's over.
Would you leave the stage?Copy !req
1334. - What is she doing?
- He's directing.Copy !req
1335. Can I get you down
at the coffin there?Copy !req
1336. She not getting the feel of you,
Caden.Copy !req
1337. You don't move around like that.
You don't talk to people.Copy !req
1338. Sit on the ground there.
Okay, everybody, let's run it.Copy !req
1339. Everything is more complicated
than you think.Copy !req
1340. You only see a tenth of what is true.Copy !req
1341. There are a million little strings
attached to every choice you make.Copy !req
1342. You can destroy your life
every time you choose.Copy !req
1343. But maybe you won't know
for 20 years...Copy !req
1344. and you may never, ever trace it
to its source.Copy !req
1345. And you only get one chance
to play it out.Copy !req
1346. Just try and figure out
your own divorce.Copy !req
1347. And they say there is no fate,
but there is, it's what you create.Copy !req
1348. And even though the world goes on
for eons and eons...Copy !req
1349. you are only here for a fraction
of a fraction of a second.Copy !req
1350. Most of your time is spent being dead
or not yet born.Copy !req
1351. But while alive, you wait in vain...Copy !req
1352. wasting years for a phone call
or a letter or a look...Copy !req
1353. from someone or something
to make it all right.Copy !req
1354. And it never comes, or it seems to,
but it doesn't really.Copy !req
1355. So you spend your time
in vague regret...Copy !req
1356. or vaguer hope
that something good will come along.Copy !req
1357. Something
to make you feel connected.Copy !req
1358. Something
to make you feel whole.Copy !req
1359. Something
to make you feel loved.Copy !req
1360. And the truth is...Copy !req
1361. I feel so angry.Copy !req
1362. And the truth is...Copy !req
1363. I feel so fucking sad.Copy !req
1364. And the truth is, I've felt
so fucking hurt for so fucking long.Copy !req
1365. And forjust as long,
I've been pretending I'm okay...Copy !req
1366. just to get along, just for...Copy !req
1367. I don't know why.Copy !req
1368. Maybe because no one wants to hear
about my misery...Copy !req
1369. because they have their own.Copy !req
1370. Well, fuck everybody.Copy !req
1371. - Amen.
- Amen.Copy !req
1372. - Delightful.
- Thanks.Copy !req
1373. I'm out of ideas.Copy !req
1374. I'm dead.Copy !req
1375. Well, I could take over as you for a bit
until you feel refreshed.Copy !req
1376. I think you're tired, Caden.
All these years of creative work.Copy !req
1377. I think you just need some time
to regroup.Copy !req
1378. - I need to keep my hand in.
- Well, Ellen needs to be filled.Copy !req
1379. - What do you mean?
- Her role. Just for a bit.Copy !req
1380. It's a choice role.Copy !req
1381. I do like to clean.Copy !req
1382. Ellen?Copy !req
1383. - Yes?
- Caden asked me to give you this.Copy !req
1384. You're to keep it in all the time.Copy !req
1385. So touched by the sadness
of Adele's neighbor so close to death.Copy !req
1386. Say, "Thank you,"
to Adele's neighbor.Copy !req
1387. Thank you.Copy !req
1388. You're very welcome, young lady.Copy !req
1389. - Now say, "Have a very good day."
- Have a very good day.Copy !req
1390. I will indeed.Copy !req
1391. Reach for the toilet paper.Copy !req
1392. Wrap some around your hand.Copy !req
1393. Wipe yourself.Copy !req
1394. There was supposed to be
something else.Copy !req
1395. You were supposed
to have something, a calm.Copy !req
1396. Love.Copy !req
1397. Children.Copy !req
1398. A child, at least.Copy !req
1399. Children.Copy !req
1400. Meaning.Copy !req
1401. Everything okay, Eric?Copy !req
1402. - Everything is everything.
- He hates me.Copy !req
1403. I disappointed him,
and he hates me.Copy !req
1404. Everyone is disappointing
when you know someone.Copy !req
1405. I remember having that picnic
with my mother. Look at me.Copy !req
1406. Ellen, what is it?Copy !req
1407. I was so young.Copy !req
1408. I'm going to remember this moment
for the rest of my life, Mama...Copy !req
1409. and in exactly 20 years,
come here with my daughter...Copy !req
1410. and have exactly the same picnic.Copy !req
1411. There was so much hope.Copy !req
1412. Baby, that the loveliest thing
I've ever heard.Copy !req
1413. Oh, God. Sorry, Mommy. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1414. Where is my little girl?Copy !req
1415. Where is my little girl?
Where is my little girl?Copy !req
1416. Look at the night table
for a note from Adele.Copy !req
1417. Stare out the window.Copy !req
1418. Remember the time she got you
to pose for one of her paintings?Copy !req
1419. How she told you
how beautiful you were?Copy !req
1420. How she made you feel pretty again
for a little while?Copy !req
1421. Think how you'll miss her.Copy !req
1422. Stand up.Copy !req
1423. Now it is waiting, and nobody cares.Copy !req
1424. And when your wait is over,
this room will still exist...Copy !req
1425. and it will continue to hold shoes
and dresses and boxes...Copy !req
1426. and maybe someday
another waiting person.Copy !req
1427. And maybe not.Copy !req
1428. The room doesn't care either.Copy !req
1429. Hello?Copy !req
1430. There's nobody running the elevator
anymore.Copy !req
1431. What was once before you,
an exciting and mysterious future...Copy !req
1432. is now behind you,
lived, understood, disappointing.Copy !req
1433. You realize you are not special.Copy !req
1434. You have struggled into existence
and are now slipping silently out of it.Copy !req
1435. This is everyone's experience.
Every single one.Copy !req
1436. The specifics hardly matter.
Everyone is everyone.Copy !req
1437. So you are Adele...Copy !req
1438. Hazel, Claire, Olive.Copy !req
1439. You are Ellen.
All her meager sadnesses are yours.Copy !req
1440. All her loneliness.
The gray, straw-like hair.Copy !req
1441. Her red, raw hands. It's yours.Copy !req
1442. It is time for you to understand this.Copy !req
1443. Walk.Copy !req
1444. As the people who adore you
stop adoring you...Copy !req
1445. as they die, as they move on...Copy !req
1446. as you shed them, as you shed
your beauty, your youth...Copy !req
1447. as the world forgets you,
as you recognize your transience...Copy !req
1448. as you begin to lose
your characteristics one by one...Copy !req
1449. as you learn
there is no one watching you...Copy !req
1450. and there never was,
you think only about driving.Copy !req
1451. Not coming from anyplace,
not arriving anyplace...Copy !req
1452. just driving, counting off time.Copy !req
1453. Now you are here. It's 7:43.Copy !req
1454. Now you are here. It's 7:44.Copy !req
1455. Now you are gone.Copy !req
1456. Where is everybody?Copy !req
1457. Mostly dead. Some have left.Copy !req
1458. Would you sit with me for a moment?
Because I'm very tired and lonely.Copy !req
1459. I feel like I know you.Copy !req
1460. Well, I was the mother
in Ellen's dream.Copy !req
1461. Yes.Copy !req
1462. You seem a bit older
than I remember.Copy !req
1463. That dream was quite a while ago.Copy !req
1464. Apologize.Copy !req
1465. I didn't mean to say you looked old.Copy !req
1466. There's everyone's dreams
in all those apartments.Copy !req
1467. All those thoughts I'll never know.
That's the truth of it.Copy !req
1468. I wanted to do that picnic
with my daughter.Copy !req
1469. I feel like
I've disappointed you terribly.Copy !req
1470. Oh, no. I am so proud of you.Copy !req
1471. Ask her if you can put your head
on her shoulder.Copy !req
1472. Can I lay my head
on your shoulder?Copy !req
1473. Yes.Copy !req
1474. I love you.Copy !req
1475. I love you too.Copy !req
1476. I know how to do this play now.Copy !req
1477. I have an idea.Copy !req
1478. I think if everyone...Copy !req
1479. Die.Copy !req