1. No way.
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2. Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
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3. You're nobody
'til somebody loves you
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4. You're nobody
'til somebody cares
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5. You may be king
You may possess the world
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6. And its gold
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7. But gold won't bring you
happiness
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8. When you're growin' old
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9. The world still is the same
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10. You never change it
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11. As sure as the stars
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12. Shine above
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13. You're nobody
'til somebody loves you
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14. So find yourself
somebody to love
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15. The world
still is the same
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16. You never change it
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17. As sure as the stars
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18. Shine above
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19. But you're nobody
'til somebody loves you
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20. So find yourself
somebody to love
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21. - Okay, so what if I don't want to give up on her?
- You don't call.
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22. - You said I don't call if I wanted to give up on her.
- Right.
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23. - So I don't call either way.
- Right.
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24. - So what's the difference?
- There is no difference right now.
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25. See, Mike, the only difference
between giving up and not giving up...
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26. is if you take her back
when she wants to come back.
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27. But you can't do anything
to make her want to come back.
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28. In fact, you can only do stuff
to make her not want to come back.
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29. So the only difference is if I forget about
her or just pretend to forget about her.
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30. - Right.
- Well, that sucks.
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31. Yeah, it sucks.
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32. So it's like a retroactive decision then?
I mean, I could, like, forget about her.
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33. And then when she comes back, make like
I just pretended to forget about her?
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34. Right, although probably
more likely the opposite.
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35. What do you mean?
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36. I mean, at first you're gonna pretend
to forget about her.
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37. Not call her,
I don't know, whatever.
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38. But then, eventually,
you really will forget about her.
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39. - Well, unless she comes back first.
- Mm, see, that's the thing.
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40. Somehow they know not to come back
until you really forget.
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41. - There's the rub.
- There's the rub.
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42. Look, man, uh, I-I'm sorry we always
talk about the same thing all the time.
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43. - Ah, no, it's all right.
- It's just that, you know... It's just you been there, man.
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44. - Don't sweat it.
- Your advice really helps. And I just, I don't know...
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45. You know, Rob, you're the only one
I can talk to about her.
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46. Thanks. Thanks, man.
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47. Hello, you have four messages.
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48. Message one.
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49. Hey, gorgeous,
it's, uh, Trent calling.
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50. Look, you gotta get that girl
out of your head. Uh, I hope my...
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51. Message two.
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52. Hey, Mike, uh, if you want
to talk about Michelle, give me...
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53. Message three.
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54. - Did she call yet? I'm sure she...
- Message four.
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55. Michael, this is Grandma.
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56. We all miss you
back here in New York.
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57. You still haven't told me if you got
that part on the television pro...
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58. That was your last message.
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59. You have to put things in perspective.
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60. - I know, I know.
- She doesn't deserve you.
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61. Thanks. I appreciate that.
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62. There are plenty of fish
in the sea.
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63. Okay, that's great advice.
Thanks a lot. Okay? Bye.
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64. - Life, after all...
- Please, I'm trying to make a phone call.
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65. - Are you calling her?
- No. Will you stop? I'm try... Please.
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66. - Hello?
- What's up, Trent?
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67. Hey, we got two parties
tonight. One's for a modeling agency.
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68. - I don't know.
- Listen to me, baby. There's gonna be beautiful babies there.
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69. I... Look, Trent, uh,
I got shit to do tomorrow.
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70. Listen to you. I've got a final callback on
a pilot at 9:00, and I'm going to this thing.
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71. Come on, Mike, you got to get out
with the beautiful babies.
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72. - You can't sit at home thinking about it.
- Not tonight.
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73. Not tonight? Listen to you!
We're gonna have fun tonight.
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74. We gotta get you out
of that stuffy apartment.
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75. We're gonna spend half the night driving
around the hills looking for this one party,
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76. and you're gonna say it sucks,
and we're all gonna leave,
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77. and then we're gonna go look
for this other party.
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78. But all the parties
and all the bars, they all suck.
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79. I spend half the night talkin' to some
girl who's lookin' around the room...
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80. to see if there's somebody else who's
more important she should be talking to.
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81. And it's like I'm supposed to be all
happy, uh, 'cause she's wearing a backpack.
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82. I... You know, and half of them
are just nasty skanks...
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83. who wouldn't be nothing, except they're
surrounded by a bunch of drunken, horny assholes.
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84. I'm gonna tell you something, T.
Are you listening?
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85. - Yeah, I'm listening.
- I'm not gonna be one of those assholes, all right?
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86. It just makes me sick.
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87. It's like, uh, some nasty skank who
isn't half the woman my girlfriend is...
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88. is gonna front me?
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89. - It makes me want to fuckin' puke.
- Jesus Christ!
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90. Will you shut up for a minute? We gotta
get you the fuck out of Dodge, man.
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91. - We're goin' to Vegas tonight.
- What are you talkin' about?
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92. - Vegas, baby. Vegas!
- What do you mean, Vegas?
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93. - Vegas. Las Vegas.
- I'm not going to no Vegas.
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94. Yeah. I think... You know what, man?
We're gonna go to Vegas and, uh...
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95. - When are we going to Vegas?
- We're going tonight.
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96. - No, we're not going tonight. I'm not going to Vegas!
- I'm gonna pick you up.
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97. - Listen to me.
- No, you listen to me. I'm not going, okay?
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98. - None of this shit anymore.
- Listen, I just listened to you; now hear me out.
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99. You bring something nice to wear.
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100. - I'm not going to Vegas.
- Mike, we're going.
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101. I'm not going to Vegas.
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102. All right, listen. I took out $300,
but I'm only betting with 100.
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103. I can't afford any more
than that, all right?
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104. And I figure if we buy a lot of chips,
though, the pit boss will see us,
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105. he'll comp us all sorts of free shit;
that's how it works over there.
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106. - But you gotta be cool.
- I'm cool, baby, I'm cool.
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107. They're gonna give Daddy a room,
some breakfast, maybe Bennett singing.
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108. - I know just the place.
- What the hell are you wearin'?
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109. I thought you said
we're gonna wear suits.
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110. Oh, Mike, you gotta stop worrying
about this. We're goin' to Vegas, man.
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111. If you're wearing a suit, and you look like
you gamble a lot, they give you free shit.
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112. It's in the back.
I'll put it on when we get there.
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113. Uh-uh. No way. No, turn around.
I'm goin' home.
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114. You gotta show up wearing that suit,
or otherwise I'm not going.
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115. All right already, okay? I'll put my
suit on. Grab the wheel. Hold it steady.
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116. - I'm tellin' you, this is how you do it.
- I know!
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117. - They're watching you when you drive up. That's how it works.
- Fine, fine.
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118. It could work.
I'm serious.
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119. They're gonna give Daddy
the Rain Man suite. You dig that?
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120. - We're going to Vegas, Mike. Vegas!
- Vegas!
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121. You think we can
get there by midnight?
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122. - We're gonna be up five "hundy" by midnight!
- Yeah!
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123. - Vegas! Vegas!
- Vegas, baby. Vegas!
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124. Vegas, baby. Vegas.
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125. 'Cause I'm not the happy guy
I used to be
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126. She thinks I
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127. Still care
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128. But if she's happy thinking
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129. I still need her
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130. Vegas, baby. Vegas.
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131. Vegas.
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132. It's the root of all evil
Of strife and upheaval
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133. But I'm certain, honey
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134. That life would be sunny
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135. With plenty of money
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136. And you
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137. I always thought, uh,
Caesar's was more the dope spot.
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138. Back in their day, this place was a real
contender, but now they'll appreciate the business.
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139. They'll probably fall all over themselves for
a couple of high-class guys like me and you.
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140. - Now, we're not...
- You want to be fresh on the scene, right?
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141. The new places down on the strip,
now, those places are supposed to be it.
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142. Oh, Mike, you don't want all that
fuckin' Pirate of the Caribbean horseshit.
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143. Or the rock and roll
grunge tip.
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144. You know, guys like me and
you gotta kick it here. Old school.
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145. Yeah, this is...
This is truly old school.
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146. - Definitely old school.
- This place is fuckin' dead.
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147. You know, I'm gonna find me two waitresses
here and I'm gonna pull me a Fredo.
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148. - Yeah, well, they're all skanks.
- What are you talkin' about?
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149. Look at all the
beautiful babies here.
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150. The beautiful babies don't work
midnights to 6:00 on a... on a Wednesday.
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151. - This is the skank shift.
- Look at all the beautiful honeys here.
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152. - Excuse me.
- Excuse me, darling. I want you to remember this face here.
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153. This is the guy behind the guy
behind the guy.
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154. Okay.
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155. Will you cut that shit out?
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156. - What? She smiled.
- That's not cool, man.
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157. - Did she or did she not smile?
- It doesn't matter.
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158. - Mike, I'm telling you, girls love that stuff.
- You're gonna screw up our plan.
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159. - Baby, we're gonna get laid.
- Could we first see what happens when we play it cool?
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160. What do you think, Mike? Do you think she's
gonna leave us and go tell her pit boss on us?
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161. Will you stop makin' fun,
all right?
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162. The trick is we gotta look like we don't need
the shit, then they give us shit for free.
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163. Right, right, right.
Well, I think you look great, man.
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164. I think I'm looking like the money,
like the bomb, right?
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165. All right, stop. See that? That, uh,
table? That's where we make our scene.
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166. You think
they'll notice me and you?
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167. Oh, they're gonna notice me and you,
'cause they're watching.
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168. - Nicely done, sir. You're on a streak now.
- It's about time.
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169. One of the best streaks
I've ever had. I wanna get even.
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170. Uh, start with, uh,
I don't know, 300?
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171. I can count that
for you.
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172. - On the table.
- Excuse me?
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173. - You have to lay it on the table.
- I don't want to bet it all.
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174. You're not allowed
to hand me money, sir.
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175. You have to lay it on the table
if you want me to change it.
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176. - Changing 300.
- Three hundred.
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177. - Do you have anything smaller?
- Yes, as a matter of fact, I do.
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178. But this happens to be
a $100 minimum bet table.
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179. Perhaps you'd be more comfortable
at one of our lower stakes tables.
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180. Okay, just tuck 'em under,
just like this.
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181. There you go.
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182. Cocktails?
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183. Guy behind the guy.
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184. I'll have a scotch
on the rocks, please.
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185. Any scotch will do, as long
as it's not a blend, of course.
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186. Uh, single malt.
Glenlivet, Glenfiddich perhaps.
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187. Maybe a Glengow... Any Glen.
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188. Scotch on the rocks.
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189. - Double down.
- What?
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190. You got an 11.
You always double down on an 11.
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191. I know, but it's $200.
It's blood money.
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192. - Mike, you gotta double down.
- I can't double down.
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193. - Mike, if you don't look like you know what you're doing...
- Will you stop for a second?
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194. - Just shut up, okay? I can't.
- If you don't look like you know what you're doing...
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195. Just stop for a second!
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196. Double down.
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197. That's nice.
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198. Eighteen. Good. Eighteen's good.
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199. Twelve. Sixteen.
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200. Twenty-one.
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201. I'm telling you, baby,
you always double down on an 11.
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202. - Well, obviously not always.
- Always, baby.
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203. I'm just saying not
in this particular case.
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204. - You always double...
- I lost, okay? How could you say "always"?
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205. - Lady has 11. What would you like to do?
- Um, I hit.
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206. - Fifteen.
- I don't know what to do here.
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207. I'll hit again.
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208. Seventeen.
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209. Okay. I'll hit there. Okay.
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210. - Twenty-one.
- Oh, my gosh! Twenty-one!
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211. I got it!
Oh, my heavens. Thank you!
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212. Whee!
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213. Would you like to have some breakfast
this morning, ma'am?
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214. Oh, I really shouldn't. But then again,
it's a good idea. I'd love it.
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215. - Thank you so much!
- Why not? By all means.
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216. - Take this ticket in with you when you go in.
- Oh, thank you!
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217. - They'll fix you up.
- You'll fix me up.
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218. That went plenty nice, baby.
You're up 20 bucks.
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219. You know, I mean not counting
what happened on the first table.
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220. - Thanks for clarifying that.
- I'm down too, Mike.
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221. - Yeah? What'd you lose?
- I don't know what I dropped.
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222. Let's see, I dropped
probably 35 or...
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223. Don't give me that shit. You know
exactly what you lost. What'd you drop?
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224. Twenty, all right? But I was down at least
fifty. I'm sorry. I got lucky on the craps table.
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225. You shouldn't be sorry.
You're a winner. I'm the fuckin' loser.
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226. - I'm the one who should be sorry.
- Baby, don't talk that way.
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227. Could we just go, please?
Could we go?
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228. Baby, look at me. Look at me.
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229. You're money. And you know what else?
You're a big winner tonight.
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230. - I want to leave.
- You're a big winner.
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231. I'm gonna ask you a simple question,
and I want you to listen to me.
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232. Who's the big winner
here tonight at the casino? Huh?
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233. - Mikey, that's who. Mikey's the big winner.
- Okay.
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234. - Mikey wins.
- What a fuckin' asshole.
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235. Fine, I'm an asshole. But you know what?
You're the big winner tonight, Mikey.
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236. - You're the big winner in more ways than one.
- There you two are.
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237. I walked around for an hour
with that stupid scotch on my tray.
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238. We got knocked out pretty fast.
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239. - Ah, a couple of high rollers like yourself?
- Can you believe it?
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240. - I'm gonna get you that scotch.
- You know, forget about it.
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241. - I didn't even want it. I just wanted to order it.
- Can I get you something else?
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242. I mean, you really shouldn't leave
without getting something for free.
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243. Why ruin a perfect night?
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244. Listen, um, bring a single-malted,
uh, Glengarry for me...
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245. and one
for my boy Mikey here.
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246. And if you tell the bartender
to go easy on the water,
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247. then this 50-cent piece has your
name written all over it, okay?
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248. I want you to run along,
'cause I'll be timing you.
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249. I'm gonna keep time.
One, two, three, four.
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250. - What an asshole.
- Baby, that was money. Tell me that wasn't money.
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251. - That was so demeaning.
- She smiled, baby.
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252. - I can't believe what an asshole you are.
- No, baby, she smiled.
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253. - She was smiling at what an asshole you are.
- No, no, no, no, no.
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254. - She was smiling at how money I was, what I did with her.
- Could we get out of here?
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255. - I'm not gonna pay for a room.
- Mike, what the hell do you want to get out of here for?
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256. - The honey baby's bringing us a cocktail.
- What, are you nuts?
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257. - You think she's coming back here?
- I know she's coming back.
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258. Did you hear what she said? "You shouldn't
leave without getting something for free."
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259. Baby, she wants to party.
She wants to.
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260. I'm tired. We should just go.
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261. Baby, this is what we came for. Now, we
met a beautiful baby, and she likes you.
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262. - She likes you.
- Whatever. Daddy's gonna get her to bring a friend.
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263. Now, I don't care if I end up with her
or one of her beautiful baby friends.
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264. It's just I been... I been out
of the game for so long, man.
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265. - It's been like six years.
- Listen, it's hard, I know. I been there myself.
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266. Not for six years or anything,
but I've been there.
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267. Not for six years or anything,
but I've been there.
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268. The best thing you can do
is just get back out there.
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269. It's just I... I'm not attracted to them.
I keep thinking of my girlfriend.
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270. Then I'm trying to, like,
maintain a conversation with them.
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271. Mike, do you even think I know what the
hell they're saying to me half the time?
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272. I don't know if they're talking
about how hard it is to be adopted...
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273. or how their dad
can't show 'em affection.
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274. All I do, man, is stare at their mouth
and wrinkle my eyebrows,
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275. and somehow I turn out
to be a big sweetie, okay?
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276. Take this girl here.
She's a waitress in Las Vegas.
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277. But I bet somewhere inside of her
there is a very, very special dream.
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278. And no matter how hard I try, I won't...
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279. Hey, there she is, the most
special lady in town, right?
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280. - Yup.
- What time do you get off, uh, Christy?
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281. - 6:00.
- 6:00, great.
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282. - Two Glengarrys down, easy on the water.
- Fantastic.
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283. Uh, listen. Why don't you call a friend
and have her meet the three of us...
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284. - at the Bamboo Lounge at 6:01?
- You got it.
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285. - All right?
- Sure. Hey.
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286. That was so fuckin' money.
That was like the Jedi mind shit.
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287. See, that's what I'm trying to tell you,
baby. Girls love that kind of stuff.
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288. They don't go
for the sensitive shit.
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289. You start talking to 'em about, uh,
you know, puppy dogs and ice cream.
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290. They know what you want to do. What do you
think? You really think they don't know?
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291. - No. I know.
- They know what you want, baby. Believe me.
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292. When you pretend it's just
like a waste of their time.
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293. You're gonna take 'em that way
eventually, right? Don't apologize for it.
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294. It's just that I get this thing where I want
to be a gentleman and I wanna show respect.
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295. Oh, Mike.
Respect, my ass.
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296. What they respect is honesty.
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297. Look, you see how they dress when they go
out, right? They want you to notice 'em.
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298. All you're doin' is letting them know that
it's working. Get off this respect kick.
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299. There's nothing wrong with letting
the girls know that you're money...
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300. - and that you wanna party.
- You ready to order?
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301. Yeah. I'll have a coffee...
Two, uh, two coffees.
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302. And it says, uh, here,
"Breakfast anytime."
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303. That's right.
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304. I'll have the, uh, pancakes and the,
uh, age of enlightenment, please.
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305. And for you?
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306. Oh, um, let's see,
I'll have the, um, the Toucan.
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307. - Over easy.
- I'll be back with the coffee.
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308. All right, great.
Nice, baby.
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309. Renaissance.
It went over her head.
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310. I should have said renaissance.
Age of enlightenment. I...
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311. Oh, God! Like a Las Vegas waitress is gonna
get an obscure French philosophical reference?
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312. It's like I'm trying
to show off to her.
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313. I may as well have just said,
"Let me jump your ignorant bones."
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314. Don't even sweat her.
We're gonna meet our honeys soon.
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315. - You know Christy's friend is gonna be money.
- It's 20 to.
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316. - We gotta get out of here.
- Baby, will you relax just for a minute here?
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317. Excuse me. We have...
We're in a little bit of a hurry.
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318. Hang on, Voltaire.
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319. - I get paid for loving
- Hmm
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320. Loving all the time
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321. - How're you doin', guys?
- Hey, boys.
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322. - We almost gave up on you.
- I'm sorry we're late.
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323. - There's, uh, no clocks in this town anywhere.
- No harm done.
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324. - This is Lisa.
- Hi.
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325. - I'm sorry. I never got your name.
- I'm Mike.
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326. - Mike.
- This is Trent. We call him Double Down.
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327. - Trent.
- Stop right there.
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328. - Ladies, don't you always double down on an 11?
- Always.
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329. - No matter what. Like splitting aces.
- Whatever.
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330. - Hi, Lisa. I'm Trent. It's nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.
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331. Lovely, uh, make-up job
you have there.
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332. - Oh. Uh, Lisa works at the MGM Grand.
- I'm a Dorothy.
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333. Oh, Lisa's a Dorothy.
That's great. That's great.
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334. Well, we're not
in Kansas anymore.
Copy !req
335. So, uh, what do
you guys do?
Copy !req
336. Well, I'm a comedian.
Copy !req
337. Um, do you ever play out here?
I'd love to see you sometime.
Copy !req
338. - No.
- Why not?
Copy !req
339. Well, there are, uh... You know,
it's just different circuits.
Copy !req
340. - It's hard to explain. You wouldn't understand.
- Who's your booking agent?
Copy !req
341. She... She knows...
Copy !req
342. Actually, I don't have
West Coast representation as of yet.
Copy !req
343. Oh, who's your representation
back East?
Copy !req
344. I didn't... I sort of freelanced on
my own, kind of found my own things.
Copy !req
345. - 'Cause I...
- So what do you do, Trent?
Copy !req
346. - I'm a producer.
- Oh! Cool!
Copy !req
347. That's great.
Copy !req
348. I'm really
not supposed to drink here.
Copy !req
349. We should go someplace else.
How's my place?
Copy !req
350. - Yeah, that's great.
- Yeah?
Copy !req
351. - All right?
- Yeah, we... Yeah, sure.
Copy !req
352. - Right.
- Because if you can't drink here...
Copy !req
353. - Then you can't drink.
- Why not?
Copy !req
354. - That'll be great.
- Okay, great. Let's go.
Copy !req
355. You were in Acapulco Beach?
Copy !req
356. We watch that all the time.
Copy !req
357. - No, no, no, no, wait.
- Yeah, yeah.
Copy !req
358. The worst was when I went in for
this Afterschool Special, right?
Copy !req
359. So I'm sitting
in the waiting room,
Copy !req
360. and there's all these little kids, uh,
sitting in the waiting room with me.
Copy !req
361. And I see that all the kids are signed
in for the exact same role as me.
Copy !req
362. - They're auditioning for the same role as you?
- Right.
Copy !req
363. So, uh, I check the time and the place.
I'm where I'm supposed to be.
Copy !req
364. I call my agent up. She says, "Trent,
they asked for you specifically."
Copy !req
365. - What was the thing?
- I don't know what it was. It was "Drugs are Bad."
Copy !req
366. "Jenny Eats Something." Whatever.
It's Afterschool Special bullshit.
Copy !req
367. - Right.
- "Jenny Eats Something."
Copy !req
368. The role I'm reading for is "brother."
I'm reading for the part of "brother."
Copy !req
369. Big brother
or little brother?
Copy !req
370. - Just brother, man. Just brother.
- No.
Copy !req
371. Just brother, right? Finally I get
to go in and meet everyone, right?
Copy !req
372. Mikey, I'm telling you,
I was money.
Copy !req
373. It's a starring role.
I practiced for a week.
Copy !req
374. So I'm reading with the casting director
and, girls, I literally start crying.
Copy !req
375. - No.
- I swear to God.
Copy !req
376. The casting director who's reading with
me kinda gets caught up in the vibe.
Copy !req
377. - She starts crying.
- Oh!
Copy !req
378. - Yeah, I swear to God. Swear to God.
- Wow.
Copy !req
379. So now she's crying.
I'm crying.
Copy !req
380. We're both kinda crying, but not
the kind of crying that's like...
Copy !req
381. But the kind of crying that's
like we're trying not to cry.
Copy !req
382. Do you know what I mean? Like we're not
trying to... Whatever. It was very cool.
Copy !req
383. So I finished reading with her.
Copy !req
384. I finally hold up my finger,
like give me a minute here.
Copy !req
385. - Right.
- Like give me a minute.
Copy !req
386. More than that, 'cause I'm in it.
But like I'm broke.
Copy !req
387. Give me a second here.
May I have a minute?
Copy !req
388. So I put down my head,
and the whole room sits in silence...
Copy !req
389. for at least five minutes.
Copy !req
390. - Swear to God, five minutes.
- Whoa!
Copy !req
391. I look up, everyone
rips up in applause.
Copy !req
392. The whole room is rip-roaring clapping
it up for me, for big T, right?
Copy !req
393. Everyone in the room is sitting there tearing
their face. They're crying their eyes out.
Copy !req
394. The guy working the camera, you know,
just filming it? Got tears in his eyes.
Copy !req
395. - Not the camera guy.
- I swear to God, the camera guy.
Copy !req
396. Not so much from my reading,
although it had a lot to do with it,
Copy !req
397. but, really, he had
his own things going on.
Copy !req
398. So the producer
starts to talk to me.
Copy !req
399. He says, "Trent, when you
walked in this room,
Copy !req
400. I didn't see Trent Walker
come in here."
Copy !req
401. He said, "I saw big brother
come in here." Fuckin' great, right?
Copy !req
402. He says, "You walked in with the role,
you nailed it, you're great."
Copy !req
403. - So give me the fuckin' part.
- Exactly. Right?
Copy !req
404. Then he says to me... He says,
"Trent, I gotta be honest with you.
Copy !req
405. I think that it might be that
you may be just a little bit old...
Copy !req
406. for the role of brother."
Copy !req
407. So I felt confident,
'cause I gave a good read.
Copy !req
408. I say to him, "Well, how old exactly
is the role of brother?"
Copy !req
409. - Here it comes.
- 'Cause I'm tall.
Copy !req
410. - Here it comes.
- But I look young, Mike. Do I look young, girls?
Copy !req
411. Yeah, you do.
Copy !req
412. So he says to me... I swear to God he
says this to me with a straight face.
Copy !req
413. This fucking guy.
"Eleven years old."
Copy !req
414. - And you said "double down."
- Double down.
Copy !req
415. Because you know why? Because you
make it happen on the bets.
Copy !req
416. He's great, isn't he?
Copy !req
417. But the truth of the matter was,
you saw my picture, you saw my tape.
Copy !req
418. You know I'm 24 years old.
Why did you call me in?
Copy !req
419. - Wow.
- That's your great bit.
Copy !req
420. Well, we all have stories.
Copy !req
421. - Wow.
- Yup.
Copy !req
422. Uh, how rude of me. I never...
I never gave you the... the tour.
Copy !req
423. Come on home, girl
He said with a smile
Copy !req
424. You don't have to love me
and let's get high a while
Copy !req
425. But try to understand
Try to understand
Copy !req
426. - Ohh
- I'm gonna check on my boy.
Copy !req
427. Ohh, try
Copy !req
428. Try to understand
Copy !req
429. Try, try
Try to understand
Copy !req
430. He's a magic man
Copy !req
431. I'm sure she'll call.
Copy !req
432. I mean, six years
is a long time.
Copy !req
433. - You don't just break it off cleanly after six years.
- But she did.
Copy !req
434. - And she's with somebody else now.
- Already?
Copy !req
435. - Yeah.
- Oh, you poor thing.
Copy !req
436. - You know what? It won't last.
- Why not?
Copy !req
437. - It's a rebound.
- We were a rebound and we lasted for six years.
Copy !req
438. Well, yeah, but how long was the
relationship she was rebounding from?
Copy !req
439. Six years.
Copy !req
440. Uh, can I check
my messages real quick?
Copy !req
441. - I have a calling card. It won't cost anything.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
442. - Are you sure?
- Yeah, sure. The phone's in the back.
Copy !req
443. - I'm not ruining tonight, am I?
- No, it's okay.
Copy !req
444. - Are you sure?
- Yeah. Oh, I understand.
Copy !req
445. - I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
Copy !req
446. T.
Copy !req
447. Trent.
Copy !req
448. Trent.
Copy !req
449. I need to, uh, u...
Copy !req
450. No. I gotta... I gotta use...
I gotta use the phone.
Copy !req
451. - You can check 'em tomorrow.
- I need to use the phone.
Copy !req
452. Okay? I'm sorry.
Copy !req
453. Hold on.
Copy !req
454. I'm sure I... They weren't
in there that long.
Copy !req
455. I don't think we're
interrupting anything.
Copy !req
456. I have a calling card.
Copy !req
457. So it's a 800...
it's a 800 number.
Copy !req
458. - Six years? Oh, poor thing.
- I know.
Copy !req
459. - And you know what he said?
- What? What?
Copy !req
460. - And I believe him.
- What?
Copy !req
461. - He said, "I just want her to be happy."
- He said that?
Copy !req
462. - It's so sweet. So sweet.
- That is so sweet.
Copy !req
463. - Oh.
- I know.
Copy !req
464. I'll make some coffee.
Copy !req
465. Mmm.
Copy !req
466. Did she call?
Copy !req
467. - Oh!
- Oh, Mike, I'm so...
Copy !req
468. Oh, God.
Copy !req
469. That's so bad. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
470. It's gonna be okay.
Copy !req
471. She asked me what I was thinking about.
Did you want me to lie?
Copy !req
472. You didn't have to
get into it, baby.
Copy !req
473. I'm sorry about
interrupting you guys.
Copy !req
474. Oh, don't worry about it. I just wanted
you to have a good time, that's all.
Copy !req
475. - Christy was nice.
- Yeah, I really didn't like her that much, to be honest.
Copy !req
476. - Why not?
- I don't know, man. She just... She didn't really do it for me.
Copy !req
477. What'd you think of that,
uh, Dorothy girl?
Copy !req
478. The whole Judy Garland thing
kinda turned me on.
Copy !req
479. - Does that make me some kind of a fag?
- No, baby, you're money.
Copy !req
480. - I don't think she liked me anyway.
- Mike, I'm tellin' you, man.
Copy !req
481. - She thought you were money.
- I don't think so.
Copy !req
482. I heard 'em both talking.
Both those girls thought you were money.
Copy !req
483. You're a good friend.
Copy !req
484. Look, you take yourself
outta the game.
Copy !req
485. You start talkin' to 'em
about puppy dogs and ice cream,
Copy !req
486. of course it's going to end up
on the friendship tip.
Copy !req
487. I just don't think
she liked me in that way.
Copy !req
488. Baby, you are so money,
and you don't even know it.
Copy !req
489. Look, T, the girls don't go for me
the way they go for you, okay?
Copy !req
490. - Michelle went for you, right?
- That's different.
Copy !req
491. - Why? How is that different?
- We were younger. It was college.
Copy !req
492. You didn't go to college. You don't know
how it is. The girls are young, they drink.
Copy !req
493. - They don't know any better.
- Do you know how stupid that sounds?
Copy !req
494. Listen to me. Your self-esteem is low
right now because she's with somebody else.
Copy !req
495. But talkin' about it and thinkin' about
it all the time, it's depressing.
Copy !req
496. It's no good, man.
Copy !req
497. I just need
a little more time.
Copy !req
498. Why, so you can sit around your stuffy
apartment beating yourself up over it?
Copy !req
499. - Remember the first week after she told you?
- Don't remind me.
Copy !req
500. Huh? Couldn't even
leave your place.
Copy !req
501. You know, you just sat around
your stuffy apartment,
Copy !req
502. sitting there, drinking orange juice,
feeling sorry for yourself.
Copy !req
503. Now look at you, man. Right?
I mean, you got a part in a movie.
Copy !req
504. - A day.
- Whatever, Mike. It's work. You understand?
Copy !req
505. You're doing what you love to do.
What the hell is she doing now?
Copy !req
506. Selling scrap metal.
Copy !req
507. Okay. And this guy she's seeing,
what the hell does he do?
Copy !req
508. - He drives a carriage.
- What?
Copy !req
509. I heard he drives a carriage
around Central Park or something.
Copy !req
510. Oh, Mike, please! You're
the fun-lovin', outgoing party guy,
Copy !req
511. and you're sweatin'
some lawn jockey.
Copy !req
512. Jesus Christ!
I'm tellin' you, man.
Copy !req
513. You're better off without this girl.
You gotta trust me on this, Mike.
Copy !req
514. - All right, buddy?
- Stop talking. Shut up.
Copy !req
515. Okay, I'm gonna try. I promise you I
will shut up if you shut the hell up.
Copy !req
516. - We're gonna make this work.
- You're damn right you're gonna try.
Copy !req
517. Let's get home.
Copy !req
518. - I'm a man of means by no means
- Los Angeles.
Copy !req
519. King of the road
Copy !req
520. I know every engineer
of every train
Copy !req
521. All their children
and all of their names
Copy !req
522. And every handout
in every town
Copy !req
523. Every lock that ain't locked
when no one's around
Copy !req
524. I seen trailers
for sale or rent
Copy !req
525. - I don't think I'm gonna take it.
- Look, it's a gig.
Copy !req
526. This is definitely
a step back for me.
Copy !req
527. There's not much of a call
for Shakespeare in this town.
Copy !req
528. There's just something
about being Goofy, all right?
Copy !req
529. Any other Disney character would
be fine. Mickey? Mickey's an icon.
Copy !req
530. - Why does it have to be Goofy?
- What do you want? You're tall.
Copy !req
531. How am I gonna
tell my parents?
Copy !req
532. I still haven't told them
I didn't get the series.
Copy !req
533. You tested over a month ago.
I'm sure they figured it out.
Copy !req
534. It's like, "Mom, hi.
I didn't get that pilot.
Copy !req
535. By the way, I'm Goofy.
Send more money."
Copy !req
536. Hey, Rob.
Copy !req
537. You notice I didn't
mention her once today.
Copy !req
538. - I didn't want to say anything.
- Oh, yeah? Why?
Copy !req
539. Ah, it's kind of like not talking to
your pitcher in the middle of a no-hitter.
Copy !req
540. - What do you mean? Like you didn't want to jinx it?
- Kinda.
Copy !req
541. I don't talk about her that much.
Copy !req
542. - I didn't mention her once today.
- Tend the pin.
Copy !req
543. The only reason I mentioned her at all was to
tell you I'm not gonna talk about her anymore.
Copy !req
544. - I thought you'd appreciate that.
- I do. Good for you, Mikey.
Copy !req
545. - Get there.
- Play it out.
Copy !req
546. - I decided to get back out there.
- Good. Glad to hear it.
Copy !req
547. - Can't make any more excuses for myself.
- Excellent.
Copy !req
548. Do you wanna hit the town tonight?
Copy !req
549. Uh, I shouldn't.
It's a weeknight.
Copy !req
550. - You got a Pluto callback?
- Yeah, kick me when I'm down.
Copy !req
551. - All right. Count 'em up.
- How many strokes?
Copy !req
552. One, two, three...
Copy !req
553. - Eight, nine.
- What'd you get?
Copy !req
554. - Eight or a nine.
- I'll give you an eight.
Copy !req
555. - What did you get?
- I got an eight.
Copy !req
556. Dead heat after one hole.
It's turning into quite a rivalry.
Copy !req
557. You better replace the pin, Chi Chi.
The natives look restless.
Copy !req
558. You bitch! You bitch!
Copy !req
559. Chelios steals to Roenick.
Copy !req
560. - Money!
- Bitch!
Copy !req
561. Sue, why is
Gretzky on his ass again?
Copy !req
562. - Gretzky's a little bitch.
- God, this is such bullshit, man. This is bullshit!
Copy !req
563. The Kings suck in this game.
You should play another team.
Copy !req
564. - I took the Kings to the Cup.
- Yeah, against the computer with the offsides off.
Copy !req
565. - They're a finesse team, bro.
- They're a fuckin' bitch team. Score... Oh!
Copy !req
566. You bitch!
What a fuckin' bitch!
Copy !req
567. - Watch out, motherfucker.
- No, you do not fuckin' hit my elbow.
Copy !req
568. It's not even so much me
as it's Roenick. He's good.
Copy !req
569. Oh, is that right?
Copy !req
570. - Chelios steals to Roenick.
- You bitch!
Copy !req
571. Score Chicago! Ohh!
Copy !req
572. - That was pretty.
- Such fuckin' bullshit!
Copy !req
573. But that was pretty, Sue.
Check this out on the instant replay.
Copy !req
574. - Dude, do not...
- You said it was fuckin' bullshit. Check it out.
Copy !req
575. Look at it!
Copy !req
576. - Look at it!
- I don't want to!
Copy !req
577. Why do you think they put
the instant replay in the fucking game?
Copy !req
578. - God, you're unbelievable.
- So you can see if it's bullshit.
Copy !req
579. - I am unbelievable. Look at it.
- Every goal you're gonna watch the instant replay?
Copy !req
580. - Come on, man, I want to fuckin' play.
- I want him to learn it.
Copy !req
581. - I never get to play.
- You should practice this when I'm not here.
Copy !req
582. - Just fuckin' move it.
- When I'm not here, will you practice this?
Copy !req
583. - Wa, wa, wa, wa.
- We'll play some more. He likes to get scored on.
Copy !req
584. - Set the game up.
- Great times.
Copy !req
585. - Yeah?
- Better play defense.
Copy !req
586. Okay. Yeah, it's on the fourth floor.
The elevator's broken, okay?
Copy !req
587. Dude, it's Pink Dot.
Would you buzz him in? Hit nine.
Copy !req
588. I wish they still had fights in
this game so I could bitch-slap Wayne.
Copy !req
589. - They don't have fighting anymore?
- Doesn't that suck?
Copy !req
590. Why'd they get rid of the fighting?
It's the best part of the old version.
Copy !req
591. Kids were hitting each other
or something, man.
Copy !req
592. But you know what, Mike? You can
make their heads bleed on this one.
Copy !req
593. - Make somebody's head bleed.
- No, we're in play-offs.
Copy !req
594. I'm gonna make Wayne Gretzky's head
bleed for super fan number 99 here.
Copy !req
595. Mikey, get the door?
Copy !req
596. - Yeah, give me some money.
- Why do I have to give you money?
Copy !req
597. Give me some fuckin' money.
I'm not paying again.
Copy !req
598. Jesus Christ.
Pause the game.
Copy !req
599. - Dude, I'm about to do my thing with the thing.
- Pause the game!
Copy !req
600. - I got fuckin' Wayne.
- Pause it!
Copy !req
601. All right, I'll pause it.
Jesus Christ. Like you scored all day.
Copy !req
602. - How much do you want?
- Just give me some money.
Copy !req
603. Okay, fine. Take my last 20.
Here. Jesus fucking Christ.
Copy !req
604. There it is, Mikey! Check it out.
His head's bleeding.
Copy !req
605. Mikey, check it out. His legs... Little
Wayne's legs are shaking all over.
Copy !req
606. - Fucking bitch! What did you do that for?
- You're the fucking bitch!
Copy !req
607. - What the fuck are you... Why did
you un-pause it? - Come on, man.
Copy !req
608. - C'mon, peaches.
- Get the fuck off me.
Copy !req
609. - I'm not kidding.
- You know what? Look at you. Look at you.
Copy !req
610. - You wanna kiss me. Look at you.
- Get the fuck off.
Copy !req
611. - Get off!
- Look at you right now.
Copy !req
612. - Get the fuck off me!
- You're fuckin' makin' me sick! You want to kiss me!
Copy !req
613. Hey, hold still. Hold on. It's
the fuckin' Pink Dot guy. Hold on.
Copy !req
614. Hey, Mikey! Mikey, is he cute?
Copy !req
615. - Is he brown?
- Maybe he'd like to come in and join us for a cocktail.
Copy !req
616. - Is he polite?
- Is he a brown man?
Copy !req
617. If he's polite, have him come in. If
he's polite, let him in. Is he clean?
Copy !req
618. Have him come look.
Have him take off his shoes.
Copy !req
619. Michael, is he clean?
I want to see him!
Copy !req
620. Michael, I want to see him.
Don't let him go! Don't let him go.
Copy !req
621. Get off. I'm serious.
Don't fuckin' do that shit.
Copy !req
622. Oh, he got away from us.
I'm sorry, Michael. Was he nice?
Copy !req
623. You guys are assholes.
Eat, eat, you fuckin' jackals.
Copy !req
624. - Oh, yeah.
- Nice.
Copy !req
625. - What time is the party tonight?
- It starts at 8:00.
Copy !req
626. - Everybody'll get there around 10:00.
- So, what, 11:00?
Copy !req
627. - Midnight.
- Midnight.
Copy !req
628. I'm gonna bring an old friend
from back home. He just moved out here.
Copy !req
629. - Who, Rob?
- Yeah, you know him.
Copy !req
630. Yeah, he's cool.
You'll like him. He's a rounder, Rob.
Copy !req
631. - What does he do?
- Uh, he's trying to be an actor.
Copy !req
632. - What a surprise.
- How novel.
Copy !req
633. So the party started at 8:00.
Copy !req
634. Why are we going
to a bar at 10:00?
Copy !req
635. To grab a drink before we meet
the guys for a bite at 11:00.
Copy !req
636. Where is this place?
Copy !req
637. For some reason the cool bars in Hollywood
have to be hard to find and have no sign.
Copy !req
638. It's kind of like a speakeasy
kind of thing. It's kinda cool.
Copy !req
639. It's like you're in on some
kind of secret, you know?
Copy !req
640. You tell a chick you been someplace, it's
like braggin' that you know how to find it.
Copy !req
641. Excuse me.
Copy !req
642. I'll get a Dewars on the rocks.
What are you getting?
Copy !req
643. - Uh, Budweiser.
- A Dewars on the rocks and a Bud.
Copy !req
644. God, I can't believe
the women in this city.
Copy !req
645. It's like the hottest one percent
from... from all over the world...
Copy !req
646. come to our gene pool.
Copy !req
647. Darwinism at its best.
Copy !req
648. - Yo, Mikey, what's up?
- Charles! How you doin', man?
Copy !req
649. - Ah, you know, man. You know.
- You get that pilot?
Copy !req
650. Nah, man. I know you didn't. Otherwise
you wouldn't be askin' me, right?
Copy !req
651. - That shit wasn't funny anyway.
- Piece of shit.
Copy !req
652. Charles, this is my friend Rob
from back East. He just moved out here.
Copy !req
653. - My pleasure.
- How you doin', man?
Copy !req
654. This is Charles.
We went to network on a pilot.
Copy !req
655. - Oh, yeah, I tested for one.
- A month ago.
Copy !req
656. - How'd your folks take it?
- Actually, I haven't heard an official "no" yet.
Copy !req
657. Oh, so you haven't
told them yet.
Copy !req
658. That's all right, man. I still haven't
told my folks I didn't get Deep Space Nine.
Copy !req
659. You figure they'd figure
it out by now, right?
Copy !req
660. - But Moms keeps asking me.
- Boy, does it hurt when they ask.
Copy !req
661. I don't even tell them about
anything I'm close on anymore.
Copy !req
662. Not 'til you book it.
You know, you might get cut out.
Copy !req
663. I'm considering taking
a part as Goofy.
Copy !req
664. - Well, at least it's Disney, right?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
665. Look, we're going to, uh,
we're going to this party in the hills.
Copy !req
666. Some modeling agency. Beautiful babies.
You want to come with?
Copy !req
667. Yeah, why not?
This place is dead anyway.
Copy !req
668. Let's go.
Copy !req
669. No, no, no, no, no.
Now, you got to admit...
Copy !req
670. that the Steadicam shot
in GoodFellas was the money.
Copy !req
671. The basement of the... the restaurant,
the Copa in New York.
Copy !req
672. - Through the kitchen, Mike.
- I heard it took them four days to light that shot.
Copy !req
673. Four days?
I don't know about four days.
Copy !req
674. - Well, that's what I heard.
- They have to hide all the lights.
Copy !req
675. Jesus, that must've
cost a fortune.
Copy !req
676. That's nothing. You know how much
money my man spent on that Vegas movie?
Copy !req
677. Wait. You gotta be nuts
to shoot in a casino.
Copy !req
678. All right, ready. Mean Streets?
Copy !req
679. - That's the dope.
- Dude, dude. Reservoir Dogs.
Copy !req
680. - Oh, stop with that fucking Reservoir Dogs.
- Which one?
Copy !req
681. The one right in the beginning where
they're walking in slow motion, man.
Copy !req
682. How can you even
compare the two, man?
Copy !req
683. Tarantino completely bites
everything from Scorsese.
Copy !req
684. - It's true.
- He's derivative.
Copy !req
685. You know what?
You gotta admit that did look money.
Copy !req
686. I heard they did
that whole thing for under ten grand.
Copy !req
687. I don't know what the big deal is. Everybody
steals from everybody. That's movies.
Copy !req
688. Let's get the hell out
of here if we wanna make this party.
Copy !req
689. Pick up the pieces
Uh-huh
Copy !req
690. Pick up the pieces
All right
Copy !req
691. Pick up the pieces
Copy !req
692. Whoo
Copy !req
693. Pick up the pieces
Copy !req
694. Pick up the pieces
Copy !req
695. Uhh
Oh, suki, suki
Copy !req
696. Hey
Uhh, come on
Copy !req
697. - How you been? Good to see you.
- Hey, good to see you.
Copy !req
698. - So who threw this party anyway?
- Damned if I know.
Copy !req
699. - Beats me.
- Hey, I came with you.
Copy !req
700. Nice.
Copy !req
701. - Sue!
- What's that guy's name again? Sue?
Copy !req
702. Sue. Yeah. His dad was a big Johnny Cash
fan from what I understand.
Copy !req
703. - Oh, right, right, right. The song.
- Yeah, "A Boy Named Sue."
Copy !req
704. So I think that's why
he's such a mean cat.
Copy !req
705. - That guy?
- Oh, he's a bad guy.
Copy !req
706. He don't look it. He's... No, he's mean.
I seen him in a fight once.
Copy !req
707. He had a guy and was fuckin' smackin'
his head into the curb, like his mouth.
Copy !req
708. Just fuckin' smash. His teeth came out.
Just fucking, wha, wha, wha.
Copy !req
709. Fuckin' blood came out of
his fuckin' mouth. It was nasty, man.
Copy !req
710. - Nice guy, though. That guy's cool.
- Hey, big Mike.
Copy !req
711. Hey, how're you doing?
What are you doing here?
Copy !req
712. - Marty invited me here.
- Oh, yeah? Cool, cool.
Copy !req
713. Thrill me, baby
I need you
Copy !req
714. - She looking at me now?
- No.
Copy !req
715. - How 'bout now? Is she looking over here now?
- No.
Copy !req
716. What about now?
Is she looking now?
Copy !req
717. No, she's not looking at you, dude. Will
you quit asking me if she's looking at you?
Copy !req
718. - She hasn't looked at you... Wait, she just looked.
- See what I'm sayin', man?
Copy !req
719. You understand?
Copy !req
720. I got some friends I wanna go meet.
I'll talk to you later.
Copy !req
721. - Nice to see you. I'll give you a call.
- All right. Take care.
Copy !req
722. - All right, man.
- Who's that?
Copy !req
723. I don't know, man.
Copy !req
724. - You know, there's so many beautiful women.
- Unbelievable, dude.
Copy !req
725. - Unbelievable.
- Okay, I gotta try once.
Copy !req
726. - You're a better man than I am, Charlie Brown.
- I have to.
Copy !req
727. - I made a promise to myself.
- Go. Go for it.
Copy !req
728. I have to get out there sooner
or later, right? So I gotta go now.
Copy !req
729. - Okay, you're gonna be my wing man?
- I'll be your winger.
Copy !req
730. Hi. Uh, how are you ladies
doing this evening?
Copy !req
731. What do you drive?
Copy !req
732. E- Excuse me?
Copy !req
733. What kind of a car
do you drive?
Copy !req
734. Uh, Cavalier.
Copy !req
735. See what I mean?
It's the same old shit all the time.
Copy !req
736. It's... It's red. I have...
It's a red Cavalier.
Copy !req
737. That's nice.
Copy !req
738. - How are you guys doing?
- It's on, Mike. It's on.
Copy !req
739. - Yeah? Which one?
- Uh, Groucho.
Copy !req
740. With the cigar?
Copy !req
741. - She's cute, man.
- Jesus Christ.
Copy !req
742. What's wrong?
Copy !req
743. - Mike, you just looked right at her.
- Come on, she didn't notice.
Copy !req
744. - Yeah, she did.
- I better go in early now.
Copy !req
745. - I'm sorry, man. I didn't know.
- Don't sweat it, Mike.
Copy !req
746. It's gonna be a lay-up.
Copy !req
747. 36-24-36
What a winnin' hand
Copy !req
748. - Uh...
- How're you guys doing?
Copy !req
749. - Not well.
- What, rejected?
Copy !req
750. "Shaqued."
Copy !req
751. Just watch old T-bone
there and learn.
Copy !req
752. She's a brick house
Copy !req
753. My whole life people have told me
I have this star quality.
Copy !req
754. - Have they?
- Well, I don't know if it's true.
Copy !req
755. But, well, this one time...
this is really stupid...
Copy !req
756. - But in kindergarten, you know...
- It's all right.
Copy !req
757. You know how you have those little
crushes? I had this crush on this guy Lee.
Copy !req
758. He was really cute, and he
wore Lee Jeans. They said "Lee."
Copy !req
759. Anyway, I really liked him.
And then one day he told me I was ugly.
Copy !req
760. I started crying,
and my teacher was, like,
Copy !req
761. "Deidre, you are so emotional.
You are so dramatic.
Copy !req
762. You should be an actress!"
Copy !req
763. - It was, like, that's it!
- I should be an actress.
Copy !req
764. And you know what?
I can cry on cue.
Copy !req
765. - Yeah! Well, totally.
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
766. Well, that's really been sort of my
thing, you know. It got me into Juilliard.
Copy !req
767. And the agent said to me
afterwards that he thought...
Copy !req
768. he really was reminded by me...
Copy !req
769. of Tina Yothers,
you know, from Family Ties.
Copy !req
770. And he said
I looked just like her.
Copy !req
771. She's the one, the only one
Built like an Amazon, Yeah
Copy !req
772. Was that money or what?
Copy !req
773. Kind of a dick move,
if you ask me.
Copy !req
774. Why, baby?
What'd I do wrong?
Copy !req
775. - You asked a girl for her number and you tore it up.
- She didn't see that.
Copy !req
776. - It doesn't matter.
- That was pretty cold, dude.
Copy !req
777. What was so cold about it?
Copy !req
778. Right.
Copy !req
779. See, man, you can't roll with that.
She's business class.
Copy !req
780. - Business class?
- Big butt. You know, can't fly coach?
Copy !req
781. You guys are terrible.
Copy !req
782. Gentlemen,
out of Glenfiddich.
Copy !req
783. - What else is going on?
- Could hit the Dresden.
Copy !req
784. Perfect.
Copy !req
785. Well, this place
is dead anyway, man. Let's do it.
Copy !req
786. What do you say, man?
Copy !req
787. You can tell by the way
I use my walk
Copy !req
788. I'm a woman's man
No time to talk
Copy !req
789. - Hi, friends.
- The music's loud and women warm
Copy !req
790. I've been kicked around
since I was born
Copy !req
791. Now it's all right, it's okay
You may look the other way
Copy !req
792. - You can try to understand
- New York Times' effect on man
Copy !req
793. Whether you're a brother
or whether you're a mother
Copy !req
794. We're staying alive
Staying alive
Copy !req
795. Feel the city shaking
and everybody's breaking
Copy !req
796. I'm staying alive
Staying alive
Copy !req
797. Ah, ha, ha, ha
Staying ali-ive
Copy !req
798. Ahh, ahh
Copy !req
799. Yeah, I know what you're saying, man.
I just don't know what to tell you.
Copy !req
800. I mean, does it
have to be Goofy?
Copy !req
801. You know, I was Hamlet two months
ago Off-Broadway, and I was good.
Copy !req
802. - Yeah.
- Wow!
Copy !req
803. - Someone got out of school early today.
- They like our vibe.
Copy !req
804. - Oh, it's on.
- It's definitely on.
Copy !req
805. Feel the city shaking
and everybody's breaking
Copy !req
806. We're staying alive
Staying alive
Copy !req
807. - Ah, ha, ha, ha, staying alive Staying alive
- God bless you guys.
Copy !req
808. Ah, ha, ha, ha
Staying ali-ive
Copy !req
809. Ahh, ahh
Copy !req
810. Hi, can I get a Dewars on the, uh,
Dewars on the rocks?
Copy !req
811. I-I can't even get
this guy to notice me.
Copy !req
812. You're laughing at me?
That's funny to you, huh?
Copy !req
813. Great. Good. Great day.
Copy !req
814. I- I'm sorry. I shouldn't.
Copy !req
815. - Let me make it up to you.
- Hang on, Nick.
Copy !req
816. That's pretty...
They know you around here, huh?
Copy !req
817. Uh, hi. I'll have a Dewars
on the rocks, please.
Copy !req
818. And some more olives for...
for our little friend here.
Copy !req
819. Do I know you?
I mean, where do I know you from?
Copy !req
820. Um, you ever been
to the Ha-Ha Hole on Pico?
Copy !req
821. - Hmm, no.
- No? You're sure? Monday nights, open mike?
Copy !req
822. - I host an open mike there.
- Hmm, no.
Copy !req
823. Oh, you're...
you're a comedian.
Copy !req
824. Yeah.
Copy !req
825. Yeah, it's a dream, you know. It's a lot
of hard work and travel and, uh, hotels.
Copy !req
826. I have a new booking agent, though, so
I'm part of the whole Vegas circuits.
Copy !req
827. The money's pretty good. I might buy
a car, I think. You know, a foreign car.
Copy !req
828. Treat myself. I figure
I worked for it. Why not?
Copy !req
829. I know where it is.
Starbucks.
Copy !req
830. I served you an espresso
at Starbucks.
Copy !req
831. Espresso. An espresso. Yes, that's
my drink. That's probably it.
Copy !req
832. That's great.
Isn't that funny?
Copy !req
833. You came in and asked me
for an application.
Copy !req
834. And then I took you and
introduced you to my manager.
Copy !req
835. Must've been a while ago, 'cause
right now I have a booking agent.
Copy !req
836. 'Cause I've been... I have
a booking agent now that I've got.
Copy !req
837. - No.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
838. - It was about two weeks ago.
- It was probably more.
Copy !req
839. Probably longer, 'cause things
have been going very well lately.
Copy !req
840. I haven't been looking
for a job in a while.
Copy !req
841. It could have been someone who looks like me,
'cause there's a lot of people who look kinda...
Copy !req
842. - See, I have a face that's similar...
- You better pay the man.
Copy !req
843. Here's the, uh...
Here's... Just take this.
Copy !req
844. I've been doing very well.
Thank you. Uh, thank you...
Copy !req
845. - Nikki.
- Nikki. Thank you, Nikki.
Copy !req
846. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
847. - We got digits, baby.
- Yeah, what a surprise.
Copy !req
848. What's wrong with you? I saw you
talkin' to a beautiful brunette baby.
Copy !req
849. She didn't like me, okay?
I made a fool of myself.
Copy !req
850. - Baby, don't talk that way.
- You're so money, and you don't even know it.
Copy !req
851. - That's what I keep tryin' to tell him.
- Could you not mess with me?
Copy !req
852. - Baby, we're not messing with you.
- We're not.
Copy !req
853. You know what you are? You're like
a big bear with claws and fangs, man.
Copy !req
854. - Big fuckin' teeth, man.
- Yeah, big fuckin' teeth on ya.
Copy !req
855. She's just like this little bunny who's
just kinda cowering in the corner.
Copy !req
856. - Shivering.
- Yeah, man, just kinda...
Copy !req
857. You got these claws and you're staring at
these claws, and you're thinkin' to yourself,
Copy !req
858. with these claws, you're thinkin', "How
am I supposed to kill this bunny?"
Copy !req
859. You're pokin' at it, man.
Copy !req
860. You're not hurtin' it. You're just
kinda gently battin' the bunny around.
Copy !req
861. You know what I mean?
And the bunny's scared of you.
Copy !req
862. - And it's shivering.
- You got the fucking claws!
Copy !req
863. These claws and these fangs! You're
looking at your claws and your fangs.
Copy !req
864. You're thinking to yourself,
"I don't know what to do, man.
Copy !req
865. I don't know how to kill the bunny." With
this, you don't know how to kill the bunny!
Copy !req
866. You're like
a big bear, man.
Copy !req
867. - So you're not just fuckin' with me?
- No, I'm not fucking with you!
Copy !req
868. - Honestly!
- Mike, I'm telling you, you're money.
Copy !req
869. You're so fucking money.
Copy !req
870. I want you to go over to that girl
and I want you to get those digits.
Copy !req
871. - You're money.
- Come here a second. Listen to me.
Copy !req
872. Look it, when you go up
to talk to her, man,
Copy !req
873. I don't want you to be the guy in the PG-13
movie everyone's really hoping makes it happen.
Copy !req
874. I want you to be like the guy
in the rated R movie, you know?
Copy !req
875. The guy you're not sure
whether or not you like yet.
Copy !req
876. You're not sure where he's coming
from, okay? You're a bad man.
Copy !req
877. You're a bad man.
You're a bad man.
Copy !req
878. Bad man.
Copy !req
879. All right, all right.
Copy !req
880. See, baby,
it's not that hard.
Copy !req
881. - 818?
- 310.
Copy !req
882. Nice.
Copy !req
883. - So how long do I wait to call?
- A day.
Copy !req
884. - Tomorrow.
- Mm-mmm.
Copy !req
885. - Tomorrow, then a day.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
886. - So two days.
- Yeah, I guess you could call it that... two days.
Copy !req
887. Definitely. Two days
is like industry standard.
Copy !req
888. I used to wait two days to call anybody, but
now it's like everyone in town waits two days.
Copy !req
889. So I think three days is kinda money.
What do you think?
Copy !req
890. - Two's enough not to look anxious.
- Two's enough not to look anxious.
Copy !req
891. But I think three days
is kinda money.
Copy !req
892. Maybe I'll wait three weeks.
How's that?
Copy !req
893. And tell her I was cleaning out my wallet
and I just happened to run into her number.
Copy !req
894. - Then ask her where you met her.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
895. I don't remember. What does she look
like? Then I'll ask if we fucked.
Copy !req
896. Would that...
T, would that be the money?
Copy !req
897. You know what? Ha, ha, ha, Mike.
Laugh all you want.
Copy !req
898. But if you call too soon, you might scare
off a nice baby who's ready to party.
Copy !req
899. - How long are you guys gonna wait to call your babies?
- Six days.
Copy !req
900. Different, I don't know, schools of
philosophy, they all can fight each other.
Copy !req
901. - I think I like this town.
- No, no, gotta go to New Orleans.
Copy !req
902. Hey, how're you doin'?
Copy !req
903. Watch where you're going, asshole.
Copy !req
904. What'd you say, bitch?
Copy !req
905. I said watch where
you're going, bitch.
Copy !req
906. - Oh, so you want something.
- Hey, fucker. Hey.
Copy !req
907. - Fuck him up.
- Smack that fuckin' bitch.
Copy !req
908. - Yeah, motherfucker.
- You got a fucking problem with me, bitch?
Copy !req
909. Come on! Yeah, I got
a fuckin' problem, motherfucker!
Copy !req
910. - Yeah, come on!
- You're the fuckin' bitch, baby!
Copy !req
911. - Come on, bitch. You little fuckin' pussy!
- Come on, punk, do it.
Copy !req
912. - Slap that bitch.
- Roll up, bitch.
Copy !req
913. - Hey, you're a fuckin' bitch! You're a fuckin' bitch!
- You wanna go?
Copy !req
914. I'll show you who
the fucking bitch is!
Copy !req
915. Huh?
Copy !req
916. You're the fucking bitch!
Copy !req
917. Motherfucker!
Copy !req
918. - What the fuck?
- You asshole! Didn't you see Boyz N the Hood?
Copy !req
919. - Now one of us is gonna get shot.
- He ain't gonna do anything.
Copy !req
920. - You fuckin' asshole.
- What a fuckin' dick.
Copy !req
921. What the fuck did you want me to do,
back down? He called me a bitch.
Copy !req
922. - We kept our rep, bro.
- Fuck rep, man. I got a callback tomorrow.
Copy !req
923. Yeah, I gotta get up
early tomorrow.
Copy !req
924. What the fuck are you carrying a gun for?
In case somebody steps to you, Snoop Dogg?
Copy !req
925. Hey, man, you're not from here.
You don't know how it is.
Copy !req
926. - I grew up in L.A.
- Anaheim.
Copy !req
927. Whatever, man. It's different out here.
It's not like New York, Mikey.
Copy !req
928. Fuckin' A right, it's not like New York.
Out here you can avoid trouble.
Copy !req
929. It's not like you live in Compton, Sue,
with bullets whizzing by your head.
Copy !req
930. You live in a good neighborhood, man.
In New York trouble finds you.
Copy !req
931. - People get carjacked.
- Oh, man, who would ever carjack your fuckin' K car?
Copy !req
932. He's right, Sue.
You don't need to carry a gat.
Copy !req
933. Just 'cause I had the balls
to stand up to these guys...
Copy !req
934. Like fuckin' House of Pain
was gonna do anything?
Copy !req
935. - You like in this fucking fantasy world.
- Wha...
Copy !req
936. What about you, Mikey?
At least I fuckin' have balls, man.
Copy !req
937. You're always whining about some bitch
that left you a year ago!
Copy !req
938. It was six months ago,
and she didn't leave me.
Copy !req
939. Whatever, man! You're like
a fuckin' little whiny bitch, man.
Copy !req
940. Oh, whoopee, you got a number tonight?
You're gonna fuck it up.
Copy !req
941. - Hey, Sue.
- No. Have you gotten laid once since you moved out here?
Copy !req
942. - Have you fucked once?
- Why don't you shut the fuck up for a little bit?
Copy !req
943. I know for a fact that you haven't.
You know how I know?
Copy !req
944. - 'Cause you never shut up about it!
- Shut the fuck up, Sue!
Copy !req
945. - Ah, he's fuckin' right.
- Shut up! Hey, Mike, come here.
Copy !req
946. Mike, come back here!
Mike, come back here!
Copy !req
947. - He was fuckin' pissing me off!
- Just shut the fuck up.
Copy !req
948. Just shut the fuck up. I don't even
want to fuckin' talk to you right now.
Copy !req
949. - I do...
- Shut the fuck up!
Copy !req
950. You have no messages.
Copy !req
951. Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
Copy !req
952. Hi. Uh, Nikki, this is Mike.
Copy !req
953. I met you at the, um,
at the Dresden, uh, tonight.
Copy !req
954. Uh, I just called t-to say
that I had a great time...
Copy !req
955. and you should call me tomorrow,
or in, uh, t-two days, uh, whatever.
Copy !req
956. Anyway, uh, my number...
Copy !req
957. is 213-555-4679...
Copy !req
958. Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
Copy !req
959. Hi, uh, Nikki,
this is Mike again.
Copy !req
960. I just called 'cause it sounded like
your machine might've cut me off...
Copy !req
961. when, uh, when I... before I finished
leaving my number.
Copy !req
962. Anyway, uh... And also, uh,
sorry to call so late,
Copy !req
963. but you were still at the Dresden when
I left, so I knew I'd get your machine.
Copy !req
964. Anyhow, uh, uh,
my number's 2-1...
Copy !req
965. Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
Copy !req
966. 213-555-4679. That's it.
Just wanna leave my number.
Copy !req
967. I didn't want you to think
I was weird or desperate or...
Copy !req
968. We should just,
uh, hang out...
Copy !req
969. and, uh, see where it goes.
Copy !req
970. 'Cause it's nice and, uh,
you know, no expectations.
Copy !req
971. So, okay?
Thanks a lot. Bye-bye.
Copy !req
972. Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
Copy !req
973. I just got out of a six-year
relationship, okay?
Copy !req
974. That should help explain why I'm acting
so weird. I just wanted you to know that.
Copy !req
975. It's not you, it's me.
I'm sorry.
Copy !req
976. This is Mike.
Copy !req
977. Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
Copy !req
978. Hi, Nikki, this is Mike. Could you just,
uh, call me when you get in?
Copy !req
979. I'm gonna be up for a while and
I'd rather speak to you in person...
Copy !req
980. instead of trying to fit it all into...
Copy !req
981. Fuck!
Copy !req
982. Hi, this is Nikki. Leave a message.
Copy !req
983. Uh, Nikki? M-Mike.
Copy !req
984. It's, uh, uh...
It's just, uh...
Copy !req
985. This just isn't working out.
Copy !req
986. I- I think you're great,
but, uh, I-I...
Copy !req
987. Maybe we should just take
some time off from each other.
Copy !req
988. It's not you, it's me.
It's what I'm going through.
Copy !req
989. All right? Uh, I-I-it's, it...
Copy !req
990. It's only been six months...
Copy !req
991. - Mike?
- Nikki! Great!
Copy !req
992. D- Did you just walk in,
or were you listening all along?
Copy !req
993. Don't ever call me again.
Copy !req
994. Wow. I-I guess you're home.
Copy !req
995. Hey, this is Mike.
Leave a message after the beep.
Copy !req
996. Hey, Mikey, it's Trent.
You home? You there?
Copy !req
997. All right, man,
I guess you're not home.
Copy !req
998. Why don't you come out tonight, Mikey?
I haven't seen you for two days.
Copy !req
999. We're gonna play hockey
at Sue's house until 10:30,
Copy !req
1000. and then we're either going to
the Lava Lounge for Sinatra Night...
Copy !req
1001. or we'll be at the Derby
for Big Bad Voodoo Daddy.
Copy !req
1002. We might also check out
Swing Night at the El Rey.
Copy !req
1003. And if we're not there we'll be
at the Three of Clubs, all right?
Copy !req
1004. Otherwise we'll be at the Dresden Room,
so come on out and meet up with us.
Copy !req
1005. See you soon, gorgeous.
Copy !req
1006. Hey, this is Mike. Leave a message
after the beep.
Copy !req
1007. Mikey, it's Rob.
I'm downstairs.
Copy !req
1008. Come on, pick it up
and buzz me in, buddy.
Copy !req
1009. Come on, open up.
Copy !req
1010. Thanks, man.
Copy !req
1011. You eat anything today?
Copy !req
1012. Yesterday?
Copy !req
1013. You haven't been drinking,
have you?
Copy !req
1014. - Sorry about what happened at the Dresden, man.
- Oh, don't worry about it, man.
Copy !req
1015. It's like, now I have my L.A. gun story.
Copy !req
1016. You should hear the way I tell it
to the guys back home... it's an Uzi.
Copy !req
1017. - You wanna talk about it?
- What's the point?
Copy !req
1018. Hey, it's been two days.
You should call that Nikki girl.
Copy !req
1019. Not your type.
Copy !req
1020. I'm thinking of
moving back East.
Copy !req
1021. - Well, that's dumb.
- What's so dumb about it?
Copy !req
1022. You're doing really well
out here, Mike.
Copy !req
1023. How well am I doin'?
Copy !req
1024. I host an open mike;
I play a fuckin' bus driver in a movie.
Copy !req
1025. Big fuckin' deal.
Copy !req
1026. I got an agent
that specializes in magicians.
Copy !req
1027. How good am I doin'?
Copy !req
1028. Did you get turned down
for Goofy?
Copy !req
1029. They turned you down?
Copy !req
1030. Yeah, they went with somebody who had
some more theme park experience.
Copy !req
1031. I killed for that job.
Copy !req
1032. The point is, Mike, it all depends
on how you look at it. All right?
Copy !req
1033. You're telling me that your life sucks.
That means mine is god-awful.
Copy !req
1034. Part of the reason I moved out here
is I saw how well you were doing,
Copy !req
1035. and I figured if you could
make it, I could too.
Copy !req
1036. - I didn't make it.
- You got an agent. You got in the unions.
Copy !req
1037. You know, that's your problem,
is that you...
Copy !req
1038. You don't look at
the things that you have.
Copy !req
1039. You only look at the stuff
you don't have.
Copy !req
1040. Those guys are right about you.
You're money.
Copy !req
1041. Then why won't she call?
Copy !req
1042. She won't call
because you left.
Copy !req
1043. She's got her own life to deal with,
man, and that's in New York.
Copy !req
1044. She's a sweet girl
and I love her to pieces,
Copy !req
1045. but fuck her, man...
you gotta get on with your life.
Copy !req
1046. You gotta let go of the past, and Mikey,
when you do the future is beautiful.
Copy !req
1047. All right?
Look out the window.
Copy !req
1048. It's sunny every day here.
It's like manifest destiny.
Copy !req
1049. Don't tell me we didn't make it.
We made it. We are here.
Copy !req
1050. Everything that is past
is prologue to this.
Copy !req
1051. All of the shit that
didn't kill us is only...
Copy !req
1052. Ah, you know.
All that shit.
Copy !req
1053. You're gonna get over it.
Copy !req
1054. How did you get over it?
How long did it take?
Copy !req
1055. I don't know.
Sometimes it still hurts.
Copy !req
1056. You know how it is, man.
It's like...
Copy !req
1057. You wake up every day,
it hurts a little bit less,
Copy !req
1058. then you wake up one day
and it doesn't hurt at all.
Copy !req
1059. And the funny thing is...
Copy !req
1060. This is kinda weird,
but it's like...
Copy !req
1061. you almost miss that pain.
Copy !req
1062. You miss the pain?
Copy !req
1063. Yeah, for the same reason
that you miss her.
Copy !req
1064. Because you... you lived
with it for so long.
Copy !req
1065. Let's go get
something to eat.
Copy !req
1066. All right. Sure.
Copy !req
1067. You look like shit.
Copy !req
1068. Mikey! What's up, man?
Copy !req
1069. You wanna play again, motherfucker?
Copy !req
1070. I'm glad you came out tonight.
It's good to see you.
Copy !req
1071. - You're my problem, you bitch motherfucker!
- Come on in.
Copy !req
1072. - Come on, bitch!
- You want some?
Copy !req
1073. - Hey, guys! Mikey's here!
- What's up, Mikey?
Copy !req
1074. What's up, baby?
Copy !req
1075. - Oh, so you want some? You want some?
- You ain't shit!
Copy !req
1076. Roll up, bitch! Roll up!
Roll. That's right.
Copy !req
1077. You run. You run, baby.
Copy !req
1078. Blast him!
Come on, hit him!
Copy !req
1079. - All right.
- Okay, bitch.
Copy !req
1080. - You ready, hip hop?
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
1081. - Come on, man! Let's move it up!
- Hey, man.
Copy !req
1082. What are they doing here?
Copy !req
1083. Oh, no, no,
it's totally cool, man.
Copy !req
1084. We saw 'em that night at Roscoe's.
Trent cleared it up.
Copy !req
1085. I apologized, bought 'em some
chicken and waffles. It's totally fine.
Copy !req
1086. They fuckin' love T, man.
That boy can talk.
Copy !req
1087. More important, man,
Copy !req
1088. I'm sorry about what I said.
Copy !req
1089. I was out of line. I was drunk,
my adrenalin was goin'.
Copy !req
1090. Yeah, you know, whatever.
I needed a good kick in the ass.
Copy !req
1091. It was a... I don't know. We're better
friends for it. All right?
Copy !req
1092. All right, man.
Copy !req
1093. - Roll up, bitch! Roll!
- Come on, let's see it!
Copy !req
1094. - Thanks, man.
- Get off me!
Copy !req
1095. I been hatin' myself
for the last few days.
Copy !req
1096. - That's all right. I keep it in the zone.
- Look, I know what that's like.
Copy !req
1097. - Come on, Superman.
- You watchin', New Kids On The Block?
Copy !req
1098. - Yo, Double Down, what time we leaving?
- Five minutes, baby.
Copy !req
1099. Hey, Mikey, you should call that
girl Nikki. It's been two days.
Copy !req
1100. See if she wants to
meet you there.
Copy !req
1101. Hey, Curt.
Copy !req
1102. Aw, we got a line.
We got a line.
Copy !req
1103. Hey, what's up, Lisa?
Copy !req
1104. - Let's just take the front.
- We don't gotta wait in line.
Copy !req
1105. Come on, Mike.
Copy !req
1106. Hey, hey, Tony.
Whadda ya say, man?
Copy !req
1107. - How you doin' tonight?
- Hey, Gary.
Copy !req
1108. - What's goin' on?
- Hey, Tony, man, how'd the audition go?
Copy !req
1109. - Not happening, man.
- Yeah? You look like you been workin' out though.
Copy !req
1110. - All right.
- How you doin', man?
Copy !req
1111. Watch the steps.
They're greasy.
Copy !req
1112. And it's you and me and the
bottle makes three tonight
Copy !req
1113. Hey, whadda ya say, man?
Copy !req
1114. Hey, how's it goin'?
What's up?
Copy !req
1115. - Hey.
- ¿Que paso?
Copy !req
1116. How you doin', Annie?
Good to see you. I'll see you soon.
Copy !req
1117. - Hey, sweetie.
- Hola. ¿Como esta?
Copy !req
1118. - Raoul, what's up, man?
- How's it goin'?
Copy !req
1119. Keep the waters comin'.
Copy !req
1120. My favorite watering hole
Copy !req
1121. I said, hey, Moe
How you doin'
Copy !req
1122. Where have you been
Copy !req
1123. He said, I been found
buyin' whiskey wine and gin
Copy !req
1124. Man, I know we gotta go
Copy !req
1125. It's the same thing
every night
Copy !req
1126. But I don't think another drink
is gonna make me lose my mind
Copy !req
1127. So I'll think about
my next drink
Copy !req
1128. And it's you and me and the bottle
makes three tonight
Copy !req
1129. Come on, Daddy,
let's get us a drink.
Copy !req
1130. Swing it, kid!
Copy !req
1131. Yo! Bartender!
Copy !req
1132. And Jack, oh, I know
what you're thinkin'
Copy !req
1133. That now's as good as any
to start drinkin'
Copy !req
1134. - Hey, Scotty. - Yeah?
- What's it gonna be
Copy !req
1135. A gin and tonic sounds
mighty, mighty good to me
Copy !req
1136. Well, man, I know
we gotta go
Copy !req
1137. It's the same thing
every night
Copy !req
1138. But I don't think another drink
is gonna make me lose my mind
Copy !req
1139. So I'll think about
my next drink
Copy !req
1140. And it's you and me and the bottle
makes three tonight
Copy !req
1141. And it's you and me and the bottle
makes three tonight
Copy !req
1142. Okay!
Copy !req
1143. - To ladies?
- To ladies.
Copy !req
1144. Gin time.
Copy !req
1145. I don't know.
I called you Monday.
Copy !req
1146. You called me? Well, who
did you talk to? I was home Monday.
Copy !req
1147. It surprises me that you've never mentioned
her before, all the times we've hung out.
Copy !req
1148. - You never even mentioned me?
- Very pretty girl.
Copy !req
1149. - I totally mentioned her... I totally mentioned you.
- I'm sorry. Maybe I don't know.
Copy !req
1150. - Hi, Mike. How are you?
- You know what's funny?
Copy !req
1151. - When we... When we played football that day,
- Oh, Jesus Christ.
Copy !req
1152. I don't remember you ever leaving long
enough to make a phone call to anybody.
Copy !req
1153. This is what happened.
She's a nice girl.
Copy !req
1154. Excuse me.
Copy !req
1155. - Hi.
- Hi.
Copy !req
1156. - I'm, uh, I'm Mike.
- Hi, Mike.
Copy !req
1157. - I'm Lorraine.
- Like the quiche.
Copy !req
1158. Yeah, yeah, the quiche.
That's a really original joke.
Copy !req
1159. I like quiche. How's that?
Copy !req
1160. Yeah? Well, I thought real men
didn't like quiche.
Copy !req
1161. Yeah, well, uh, my reputation seems
to have preceded me here.
Copy !req
1162. You're not a real man?
Copy !req
1163. Not lately, no.
Copy !req
1164. Not funny, okay?
Copy !req
1165. - You're fuckin' hurting feelings here.
- Hey, it's on. It's on.
Copy !req
1166. - Oh. It's on.
- It is so on.
Copy !req
1167. I figured, they make movies in L.A.,
not in Wisconsin, so I moved here.
Copy !req
1168. Just like that.
Copy !req
1169. - Well, yeah. It wasn't that simple, but...
- How was it hard?
Copy !req
1170. I left someone
really special behind.
Copy !req
1171. Tell me about it.
Copy !req
1172. - You too?
- Oh, yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
1173. - Uh-huh.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1174. - Oh. I thought I was gonna die.
- Oh, God.
Copy !req
1175. It's been six months and I'm just
starting to get over it now.
Copy !req
1176. Wow, that's two more
than me.
Copy !req
1177. - Tell me it gets better.
- Oh, it does, yeah. It does.
Copy !req
1178. God bless him.
Copy !req
1179. God bless that kid.
Copy !req
1180. That's great, man.
Copy !req
1181. What advantages, you mean?
Copy !req
1182. Yeah. You said there are
advantages to being single.
Copy !req
1183. I just wanna know
what the advantages are.
Copy !req
1184. Well, exactly, it's like,
you know, you, uh, have com...
Copy !req
1185. If you meet a girl in a bar and talk to her, you
don't have to worry if anybody's watching you.
Copy !req
1186. What else?
Copy !req
1187. What? You can do
whatever you want, you know.
Copy !req
1188. You grow, go out, anything.
Copy !req
1189. Like, if I met a handsome
young man at a bar,
Copy !req
1190. I could just ask him to dance?
Copy !req
1191. If the guy wanted to, yeah.
Copy !req
1192. You don't think
he would want to?
Copy !req
1193. Oh, yeah... No, I mean, he would
want to with you. Sure. I mean, if he...
Copy !req
1194. Sure. M-M-Maybe it's just that
he doesn't feel like dancing.
Copy !req
1195. Would you dance with me?
Copy !req
1196. Okay.
Copy !req
1197. Dude, check it out, dude.
I swear to God, it's fuckin' on.
Copy !req
1198. - Dude, it's so fuckin' on, dude.
- I know. It's on.
Copy !req
1199. - Give it up for Mike.
- Look, I...
Copy !req
1200. - Dude, it's fucking on, dude!
- Okay, okay. It's on, dude.
Copy !req
1201. - It's on. To you.
- Jesus Christ. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1202. Thanks.
Copy !req
1203. Go, daddy-o
Copy !req
1204. Go, daddy-o
Copy !req
1205. Go, daddy-o
Copy !req
1206. Go!
Copy !req
1207. Go, daddy-o
Copy !req
1208. Go, daddy-o
Copy !req
1209. Go, daddy-o
Copy !req
1210. All right.
Copy !req
1211. This is it.
Copy !req
1212. Yeah.
Copy !req
1213. - I had a... I had a great time tonight.
- Me too.
Copy !req
1214. We should do it again
some time.
Copy !req
1215. I'll be around.
Copy !req
1216. That's not gonna be
good enough.
Copy !req
1217. I wanna make plans
to see you again.
Copy !req
1218. I got a pen in my car.
Copy !req
1219. - Uh, I mean, yeah.
- Do you have something to write on?
Copy !req
1220. Yeah. Yeah.
Copy !req
1221. Ahh. Oh, you're a comedian.
Copy !req
1222. - Yeah, and an actor. Kind of.
- Oh.
Copy !req
1223. Can I come see you
some time?
Copy !req
1224. If and when I get a real gig,
I'll give you a call.
Copy !req
1225. - How's that?
- It's not going too well?
Copy !req
1226. No, when I, uh, I lived in
New York they made it sound...
Copy !req
1227. like, uh, they were giving sitcoms
out to stand-ups at the airport here.
Copy !req
1228. I been here six months,
all I got to show for it is black lung.
Copy !req
1229. Didn't you tell me that
I should be patient with my career?
Copy !req
1230. Yeah, but entertainment law
isn't something you just jump into.
Copy !req
1231. Well, neither is acting,
not if you're serious about it.
Copy !req
1232. - Yeah.
- Can I have one of these cards?
Copy !req
1233. - Why? You like the duck with the cigar?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1234. Yeah, it's the logo
from You Bet Your Life.
Copy !req
1235. - Nice touch.
- I can't believe you got that.
Copy !req
1236. You know, not one
club owner got that.
Copy !req
1237. - They all asked me why I got Donald Duck on my card.
- They're idiots.
Copy !req
1238. At least it's not Goofy.
Copy !req
1239. Well, I guess I should be getting home.
It's really getting late.
Copy !req
1240. Yeah, sure. It's gettin'
kinda late, so you probably...
Copy !req
1241. Do you want me to drive you
to your car?
Copy !req
1242. - That's my hog right th...
- Oh.
Copy !req
1243. No, I'm across the street. Yeah.
Copy !req
1244. - Yeah? Which one?
- The red piece of shit over there.
Copy !req
1245. - Yeah? Well, it suits you.
- Get the hell outta here.
Copy !req
1246. Okay.
Copy !req
1247. Party, buddy! Yeah! Dig that!
Copy !req
1248. - Will you shut up?
- You were great tonight!
Copy !req
1249. There she is!
Copy !req
1250. The wonderful lady. Right? Personality
plus, every time I come in here.
Copy !req
1251. Nothin' but smiles for me.
Whatever. Here it is.
Copy !req
1252. Dinner at the Apollo.
Me and you.
Copy !req
1253. - See that? He's being funny.
- Whatever.
Copy !req
1254. I don't have to be liked by everyone. Some
don't like me. I don't like certain people.
Copy !req
1255. - Darlin', I think everything looks absolutely wonderful.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
1256. - Oww! What the hell are you kickin' me for?
- Shh!
Copy !req
1257. Fine, I'll ask her. Ma'am! Where do the
high school girls hang out around here?
Copy !req
1258. You were fuckin'
off your ass tonight.
Copy !req
1259. - Shh.
- Where'd you learn your stuff, man?
Copy !req
1260. - The twirly-whirly...
- Shh, just be... Shh. Jackknife, shut up.
Copy !req
1261. I took a ballroom class
with Michelle.
Copy !req
1262. She's the only one I danced with
'til tonight. That Lorraine is good.
Copy !req
1263. You are definitely good. Did you even
see how she was vibing you tonight?
Copy !req
1264. - Sorry, man.
- You coulda hit that if you didn't have to take us home.
Copy !req
1265. - Definitely.
- It's not like that.
Copy !req
1266. - Don't give me that shit. I think she likes you.
- I know she does.
Copy !req
1267. - I really do!
- Shh! Shut up, okay? I know she likes me.
Copy !req
1268. - I just didn't wanna do anything tonight.
- You know what, Mike?
Copy !req
1269. - Wait three days before you call her.
- You don't have to wait.
Copy !req
1270. - He should wait two days.
- If he's smart about it...
Copy !req
1271. Shh! You know what?
I have it under control. Okay?
Copy !req
1272. He has it under control.
Copy !req
1273. Well, I guess we don't have to
worry about him anymore.
Copy !req
1274. Our little baby's
all "growns" up.
Copy !req
1275. - You know what?
- Shh! Shut up. Come on.
Copy !req
1276. - Our little baby's all "growns" up.
- Why do you have to...
Copy !req
1277. - I'm not even hungry.
- I couldn't touch it.
Copy !req
1278. Why do you have to make a major production
every time we go out and embarrass me?
Copy !req
1279. You know what... Oh, Jesus Christ.
That's all I need.
Copy !req
1280. Our little boy's
all "growns" up tonight!
Copy !req
1281. You know what, big boy?
You're grown up! You're grown up!
Copy !req
1282. Yeah! Dig that!
Copy !req
1283. Is this a fuckin'
production for ya?
Copy !req
1284. 'Cause you're "growns" up and you're
"growns" up and you're "growns" up.
Copy !req
1285. - Jesus.
- I'm the asshole in the place. Right? I'm the asshole?
Copy !req
1286. - Oh, God.
- I'm outta here, honey.
Copy !req
1287. - I wouldn't eat here...
- I would never eat here anyway.
Copy !req
1288. I like cake
Copy !req
1289. And no mistake
Copy !req
1290. But baby, if you insist
Copy !req
1291. I'll cut out cake
Copy !req
1292. Just for your sake
Copy !req
1293. Baby, come on
and knock me a kiss
Copy !req
1294. Knock me a kiss
Copy !req
1295. - Hello?
- Hi, Michael.
Copy !req
1296. - Michelle?
- Hi. How's it goin'? It's been a while.
Copy !req
1297. - S-Six months.
- How are you doin'?
Copy !req
1298. Uh, fine, I guess.
Copy !req
1299. - H-How are you?
- Good.
Copy !req
1300. I, um, I think about things.
Copy !req
1301. - Yeah?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1302. What kind of things?
Copy !req
1303. You know, us.
Copy !req
1304. - I thought you met someone else.
- It doesn't matter.
Copy !req
1305. - I think about you every day.
- Really?
Copy !req
1306. I miss you, Mike.
Copy !req
1307. Why didn't you call?
Copy !req
1308. I don't know.
I mean, I couldn't.
Copy !req
1309. Do you know how hard it is
to not call you?
Copy !req
1310. I mean, I pick up the phone every night,
whenever that commercial comes on.
Copy !req
1311. - The Michelin commercial?
- Yeah, you know, the one with the baby in the tire.
Copy !req
1312. - One time I started to cry right in front of Pierre.
- Pierre?
Copy !req
1313. Th-That's his name, Pierre?
What, is he French?
Copy !req
1314. No, he's not. Listen, it's a whole other
headache and I don't want to talk about him.
Copy !req
1315. I, um, I called 'cause I heard you
might be moving back to Queens.
Copy !req
1316. I, um, I called 'cause I heard you
might be moving back to Queens.
Copy !req
1317. - Yeah. Hang on a second.
- Let me get rid of this.
Copy !req
1318. - Hello?
- Hi, Mike?
Copy !req
1319. - Lorraine!
- Are you on the other line?
Copy !req
1320. - Yeah. Oh, hang on a second...
- I could call back.
Copy !req
1321. No, no. You hang on, okay?
I want to talk to you.
Copy !req
1322. Just hold on. Hello?
Copy !req
1323. So I heard you might be
moving back to New York.
Copy !req
1324. Yeah, I don't think that's going to be happening
just yet. Um, can I call you right back?
Copy !req
1325. Um, well, I'm going out of town
for a week and the cab's on its way.
Copy !req
1326. Can't you just talk to me
for five minutes?
Copy !req
1327. Look, there's somebody holding on the
other line. I have to take this call.
Copy !req
1328. I really want to catch up with you,
but, um, I have to take the call.
Copy !req
1329. So just... Uh, I'm gonna call you back
when you get back into town.
Copy !req
1330. - Okay?
- Okay.
Copy !req
1331. - Is that okay?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
1332. - Really? You sure?
- It's all right. All right.
Copy !req
1333. - All right, bye-bye.
- Good-bye. I love y...
Copy !req
1334. - Hello?
- Hi. Oh, you didn't have to get off of the other line.
Copy !req
1335. - I would've called you back.
- No, that's okay. I wanted to talk to you.
Copy !req
1336. You know, I really could...
could've called you back, but...
Copy !req
1337. Anyway, I probably should have waited
two days. That's what my friends said.
Copy !req
1338. But... God, I sound like such a schoolgirl.
It's just, they have this thing, okay?
Copy !req
1339. It's at The Room.
It's Sinatra's birthday.
Copy !req
1340. And it's one of these Hollywood clubs
and there's no sign.
Copy !req
1341. Uh, I don't understand why...
why they don't have any signs.
Copy !req
1342. It's just
I'm really bad at this.
Copy !req
1343. I just want to know
if you might want to go with me.
Copy !req
1344. - So, uh, you hung up on which one?
- Michelle.
Copy !req
1345. - You hung up with your girlfriend.
- Ex.
Copy !req
1346. - Oh, now she's your ex.
- She was always my ex.
Copy !req
1347. Yeah, right.
Copy !req
1348. - You hung up with her?
- I wanted to take the other call.
Copy !req
1349. - What'd she say when you called her back?
- I didn't.
Copy !req
1350. - You didn't call her back?
- No.
Copy !req
1351. - Why not, Mike?
- It didn't occur to me.
Copy !req
1352. Didn't occur to you.
Copy !req
1353. It didn't.
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1354. You been, uh, tearing yourself
up about this girl for six months.
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1355. Didn't occur to you?
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1356. No.
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1357. Well, Michael, I'll bite.
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1358. You know, man, I didn't understand
it either. It's all so hard.
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1359. Then it hit me on the way over here,
you know, like a ton of bricks.
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1360. It's just so simple.
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1361. - When you...
- Dude, dude, wait a second.
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1362. I'm getting vibe like
in a really weird way here.
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1363. This girl's looking at me
like she knows me a little bit.
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1364. - You don't recognize her?
- Mike, I don't know.
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1365. I could've been out with Sue one night
drinking and told her I was a race car driver.
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1366. No, I think I would
remember this girl.
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1367. I don't think I've ever met her before.
I would definitely remember this one.
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1368. She got a lot of confidence, man.
She's doing like...
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1369. - Wow.
- What's going...
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1370. Mike, stop, stop.
Stop, all right? Just stop.
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1371. She's playing a little game,
like a fun thing with me.
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1372. Come on, you little party girl.
That's it. Come on. Fun little games?
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1373. You want to play fun little games? Come
on, you nasty little, cute little baby.
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1374. - What are you doing?
- Mike, Mike, Mike, Mike. Stop. Don't. Don't, don't.
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1375. She's smiling at me.
She's playing fun little baby games.
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1376. She don't know me. She doesn't
know my address. You know my address?
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1377. You little...
Oh, you... Hold on.
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1378. She's coming over, dude.
Play it cool. She's coming over.
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1379. She's like the wild loony. But I threw,
like, the great vibe at her, the funny vibe.
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1380. You'll see.
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1381. - Shit.
- Mommy's big boy.
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1382. We're going bye-bye now.
Yes, we're going bye-bye.
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1383. We're gonna go home,
gonna play with Daddy.
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1384. So, um, so you
called her up, right?
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1385. Or you didn't call her. Why didn't you
call her? You said you didn't call her.
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1386. Why didn't you call her? Mike?
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1387. Mike?
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1388. I never cared much
for moonlit skies
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1389. Never winked back
at fireflies
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1390. But now that the stars
are in your eyes
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1391. I'm beginnin'
to see the light
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1392. And I never went in
for afterglow
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1393. Or candlelight
on the mistletoe
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1394. But now when you turn
the lamp down low
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1395. I'm beginnin'
to see the light
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1396. I used to ramble
through the park
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1397. Shadowboxin' in the dark
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1398. Then you came
and caused the spark
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1399. That's a four-alarm fire now
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1400. I never made love
by lantern shine
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1401. I never saw rainbows
in my wine
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1402. But now that your lips
are burnin' mine
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1403. I'm beginnin'
to see the light
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1404. I never cared much
for moonlit skies
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1405. I never winked back
at fireflies
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1406. But now that the stars
are in your eyes
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1407. I'm beginnin'
to see the light
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1408. And I never went in
for afterglow
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1409. Or candlelight
on the mistletoe
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1410. But now when you turn
the lamp down low
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1411. I'm beginnin'
to see the light
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1412. You know, I used to ramble
through the park
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1413. Shadowboxin' in the dark
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1414. Then you came
and lit that spark
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1415. That's a four-alarm fire now
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1416. And I never made love
by lantern shine
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1417. Never saw rainbows
in my wine
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1418. But now that your lips
are burnin' mine
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1419. I'm beginnin'
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1420. Mm, to see the light
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1421. Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
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