1. - All right, fellas, here they come.
- Let's get with it.
Copy !req
2. Come on, we haven't got all night.
Let's get going.
Copy !req
3. You loaded?
Move it out of here. Move!
Copy !req
4. Come on, move it out.
You - pull in here.
Copy !req
5. Read about the trouble, folks.
Get these papers while they're hot.
Copy !req
6. - Latest paper here.
- Come on, come on.
Copy !req
7. Keep your sweatshirt on, Sidney.
Hold it - latest paper here.
Copy !req
8. - You want a hot item
on Hunsecker's column?
- No.
Copy !req
9. - Two rolls got fresh
with the baker.
- Here.
Copy !req
10. Hey, the late paper just came in.
Who wants the late paper?
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11. burn a hole in the rug.
Copy !req
12. Uh-huh. Just a minute, Mr. Weldon.
I think -
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13. Uh-uh.
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14. I'm sorry.
I thought I heard Mr. Falco.
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15. Yes, I'll tell him
when he returns.
Copy !req
16. I know he's been trying
to get in touch wi-
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17. It's the third time
he's called today.
Copy !req
18. - Probably wants me to break a leg.
- No, an arm, he said.
Copy !req
19. I told him you were sure the item
would be in Mr. Hunsecker's column...
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20. - in tomorrow's paper.
- It isn't.
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21. But -
Copy !req
22. And I saw the early edition.
Copy !req
23. - But, Sidney -
- "But." But - but - but what?
Copy !req
24. That makes five days in a row
Mr. Hunsecker's cut you out of his column.
Copy !req
25. May I rent you out as an adding machine?
Get me Joe Robard.
Copy !req
26. Anybody else call?
Copy !req
27. Uh, the renting agent
and your tailor.
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28. Pay the rent,
and tell the tailor to wait.
Copy !req
29. It won't leave much balance
in the bank.
Copy !req
30. Hello, Mr. Robard?
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31. Could you locate him, please?
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32. Here. Gimme.
Copy !req
33. Watch me run a 50-yard dash
with my legs cut off.
Copy !req
34. Hey, Joe.
Joe, it's Sidney.
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35. How do you like this?
I'm running outta alibis.
Copy !req
36. Oh, no. No, no. I asked J.J. to withhold
the item until he could give you
a fine, fat paragraph.
Copy !req
37. - You're a liar, Sidney.
- What do you mean, a liar?
Copy !req
38. Oh, it's a publicity man's
nature to be a liar.
Copy !req
39. I wouldn't hire you
if you wasn't a liar.
Copy !req
40. I pay you a C and a half
while you, you plant big lies...
Copy !req
41. about me and the club
all over the map.
Copy !req
42. - Oh, if that's the way you mean it -
- Yeah, I mean in that sense, but also...
Copy !req
43. in the sense
that you are a personal liar too...
Copy !req
44. because you don't do
the work I pay ya for.
Copy !req
45. Wait a minute, Joe.
When I spoke to J.J. last night, he said -
Copy !req
46. I wish I could help
in some way, Sidney.
Copy !req
47. You could help
with two minutes of silence.
Copy !req
48. I hate to see you like this.
Sidney, if you feel nervous -
Copy !req
49. So what'll you do if I feel nervous?
Copy !req
50. Open your meaty,
sympathetic arms and -
Copy !req
51. Oh, Sidney, you got me
so I don't know what to do.
Copy !req
52. Ah, Sally, you oughta
know me by now.
Copy !req
53. - I know you.
- Nah. No, you don't.
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54. You think I'm a hero.
Copy !req
55. Well, I'm no hero.
Copy !req
56. I'm nice to people
where it pays me to be nice.
Copy !req
57. Look, I do it enough on the outside,
so don't expect me to do it in my own office.
Copy !req
58. I'm in a bind right now
with Hunsecker.
Copy !req
59. Sidney, maybe I'm dumb, but...
Copy !req
60. why does Mr. Hunsecker
want to squeeze your livelihood away?
Copy !req
61. What do you stand
for that kind of treatment for?
Copy !req
62. He's punishing me.
His kid sister's having a romance
with some guitar player.
Copy !req
63. He asked me to break it up.
I thought I did, but maybe I didn't.
Copy !req
64. Now I gotta go find out.
Copy !req
65. And Hunsecker's the golden ladder
to the places I wanna get.
Copy !req
66. Sidney, you make a living.
Where do you want to get?
Copy !req
67. Way up high, Sam,
where it's always balmy.
Copy !req
68. Where no one snaps his fingers and says,
"Hey, shrimp, rack the balls"...
Copy !req
69. or "Hey, mouse, go out
and buy me a pack of butts."
Copy !req
70. I don't want tips from the kitty.
I'm in the big game with the big players.
Copy !req
71. My experience
I can give you in a nutshell...
Copy !req
72. and I didn't dream it
in a dream either:
Copy !req
73. Dog eat dog.
In brief, from now on...
Copy !req
74. the best of everything
is good enough for me.
Copy !req
75. Sidney, I'm not trying
to tell you what to do. It -
Copy !req
76. It's just that it makes me feel bad
when Mr. Hunsecker hurts you.
Copy !req
77. Every dog will have his day.
If that's for me, tear it up.
Copy !req
78. Sidney Falco office.
Take your topcoat.
Copy !req
79. And leave a tip
in every hatcheck room in town?
Copy !req
80. One, two, three, four, yeah.
Copy !req
81. Don't you get messages, Eyelashes?
I called you twice.
Copy !req
82. Hey, man,
I've been up to here.
Copy !req
83. Look, you know
Susie Hunsecker, J.J.'s sister?
Copy !req
84. Has she been in? I mean lately.
In the last couple of days.
Copy !req
85. - I don't think so.
- Are you sure? Find out for me.
Copy !req
86. Sidney? Sidney, can I talk
to you a minute?
Copy !req
87. - Have you seen Frank D'Angelo around?
- At the bar. Sidney...
Copy !req
88. I'm in trou-
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89. Joe, give my nephew a drink.
Copy !req
90. Your nephew
doesn't want a drink.
Copy !req
91. That's a lollipop, that boy.
The kid's only great.
Copy !req
92. With 10 percent of his future,
you're great too, Frank.
Copy !req
93. Frank, I think maybe
you lied to me.
Copy !req
94. Look, Sidney...
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95. you're my own sister's son...
Copy !req
96. but where does that give you
the right to call me a liar?
Copy !req
97. I thought you said that your boy
was washed up with Susie Hunsecker.
Copy !req
98. Yeah, and it's the truth,
to the best of my knowledge...
Copy !req
99. and frankly, I'm glad -
for Steve's sake, not yours.
Copy !req
100. I handle these boys
with their best interests at heart.
Copy !req
101. Steve shouldn't get mixed up
with no bimbo at his age.
Copy !req
102. Listen, Frank, you better be
telling me the truth.
Copy !req
103. I don't like
this threatening attitude.
Copy !req
104. I told you what I know.
Now go make yourself a holiday.
Copy !req
105. Come to think of it, what business is it
of yours what they do, this boy and girl?
Copy !req
106. If you knew Hunsecker
as well as I did...
Copy !req
107. you might understand
why it is my business.
Copy !req
108. You're walking around blind,
Frank, without a cane.
Copy !req
109. And in case you didn't know it...
Copy !req
110. Susie Hunsecker's
out in the back right now.
Copy !req
111. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you
very much on behalf of the quintet:
Chico Hamilton, Fred Katz...
Copy !req
112. Paul Horn,
Carson Smith, and myself.
Copy !req
113. - Hiya, Susie.
- Hi, Chico.
Copy !req
114. Hey, Paul, cool this chick here
while I go get Steve, will ya?
Copy !req
115. This is such an interesting fusion
of the traditional form
with the new progressive style.
Copy !req
116. I just wanted to ask
how you came to form the group.
Copy !req
117. Well, we just sort of
got together.
Copy !req
118. Why don't you ask Fred Katz?
He writes all the stuff.
Copy !req
119. - Huh?
- Mr. Katz...
Copy !req
120. I'm very interested
in music, in jazz.
Copy !req
121. What's the answer?
Copy !req
122. Steve...
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123. I'll try to make you
a good wife.
Copy !req
124. Where's the cat?
Copy !req
125. - Who?
- Dallas. Is he around?
Copy !req
126. He's around somewhere.
Upstairs... maybe.
Copy !req
127. Thank you.
Copy !req
128. Look, let's go out later.
Come on, I'll get the boys.
Copy !req
129. Steve, I'd rather you didn't say anything
to anybody until I tell my brother.
Copy !req
130. Oh... you haven't told him yet.
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131. I'm telling him
in the morning at breakfast.
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132. Susie, don't you want me
to be with you when you tell him?
Copy !req
133. No.
Copy !req
134. Steve, my brother isn't as bad
as he's painted. He's not perfect -
Copy !req
135. But he isn't gonna like this,
and he makes you nervous, not me.
Copy !req
136. No, I take that back.
He makes me nervous too.
Copy !req
137. Oh, Steve, let's don't talk
about my brother.
Copy !req
138. I missed you
the last few days.
Copy !req
139. I have a message for you.
Copy !req
140. I love you.
Copy !req
141. May I dedicate the next number to you,
and the next, and the next?
Copy !req
142. - And every Sunday I'll buy you a new bonnet.
- If the stores are open.
Copy !req
143. And on Monday I'll take it off
and stroke your light brown hair.
Copy !req
144. And on Tuesday, Hasenpfeffer?
Copy !req
145. When do you think
I realized I loved you?
Copy !req
146. When I helped you
write a beautiful song?
Copy !req
147. You had me eating
that Chinese food.
Copy !req
148. Hi.
Copy !req
149. Can more than two enjoy this?
Copy !req
150. Where are those glossy prints
you promised me?
I can't place 'em later than tonight.
Copy !req
151. Thanks very much just the same.
Let's forget about it, huh?
Copy !req
152. Come on, Susie.
It's cold out here.
Copy !req
153. Let me apologize
for getting you a press spread.
Copy !req
154. It's been an honor serving you gratis!
Copy !req
155. - You know, Falco, I get the feeling
you're always snooping around.
- You know -
Copy !req
156. Boys, what are ya
fightin' about?
Copy !req
157. Kill me! Push me
through a window somewhere!
Copy !req
158. I walked into this hallowed
ground without knocking.
Copy !req
159. You know, I feel too good to fight
with you, but that isn't what I said.
I said you snoop.
Copy !req
160. What were you doing
around my hotel the other night?
Copy !req
161. - I beg your pardon.
I haven't been in the Bowery in years.
- Come on, boys, break it up.
Copy !req
162. Look, the next time
you want any information,
don't scratch for it like a dog.
Copy !req
163. Just ask for it like a man.
Copy !req
164. If you're goin' home, Susie,
I'll drop ya off.
Copy !req
165. Steve, it's time for us
to hit again.
Copy !req
166. - In a minute, Chico.
- Okay.
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167. - Headache?
- It's all the excitement.
Copy !req
168. I'll go home and go to bed early,
and you go to work.
Copy !req
169. Okay. Just don't leave me
in a minor key?
Copy !req
170. Don't tell me you've been
playing around with Leo Bartha.
Copy !req
171. No, that's what I mean.
I'm bein' fired for what I didn't do.
Copy !req
172. He came in last week
on a real dull, rainy night.
Copy !req
173. I knew who he was,
but I didn't let on.
Copy !req
174. He kept starin' at me all night.
Are you listenin'?
Copy !req
175. - Avidly, avidly. Um... he was staring.
- Starin'.
Copy !req
176. Consequently, when he approached me
on his way out, I wasn't surprised.
Copy !req
177. He was doing
a special Sunday piece on -
Copy !req
178. Cigarette girls.
And naturally -
Copy !req
179. You were thrilled
about being interviewed.
Copy !req
180. And, uh, were you... "interviewed"?
Copy !req
181. In his apartment.
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182. - Where was his wife?
- I don't know. It's a big apartment.
Copy !req
183. Only I wasn't interviewed.
Copy !req
184. In fact, I was totally unprepared
for what happened.
Copy !req
185. Oh, come on, chickie.
We're friends from way back.
Copy !req
186. A big columnist comes into this club
without his ball and chain...
Copy !req
187. and you make like
a delicatessen counter.
Copy !req
188. What did you expect
he was gonna do in his apartment?
Copy !req
189. But Sidney, sweetheart,
the man musta been out of his mind.
Copy !req
190. It was only 11:00
in the morning.
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191. I was so taken aback, I said anything
that popped into my sleepy head.
Copy !req
192. If I'm not mistaken, I think I even ordered
the man out of his own house.
Copy !req
193. He was furious. And by the time I coulda
been put in a tropical-island mood...
Copy !req
194. I was out on the street.
Copy !req
195. That night Van Cleve
calls me into his office.
Copy !req
196. He's got nothing
against me, he says...
Copy !req
197. only he can't afford
to antagonize columnists.
Copy !req
198. So I tell him how I still have Sonny
at the military academy.
Copy !req
199. Sidney, do you think
you could do something?
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200. Uh, that's what
I'm thinking, Rita. Maybe.
Copy !req
201. Sidney, do you still keep
your key under the mat?
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202. Can you be there at 2:30?
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203. You're touchy, Sidney.
Don't be so touchy.
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204. Do a guy a favor.
Well, live and learn.
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205. - You want a bite?
You want something to eat?
- No, no.
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206. 1 61 9 Broadway.
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207. I wish you and Steve
could like each other.
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208. We, uh - We stick in each other's craw.
Copy !req
209. Yes, but why?
Copy !req
210. For one thing, he thinks
J.J. is some kind of a monster.
Copy !req
211. Don't you?
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212. Susie, J.J. happens to be
one of my very best friends.
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213. I know, but someday I'd like
to look into your clever little mind...
Copy !req
214. and see what you
really think of him.
Copy !req
215. Where do you come off
makin' a remark like that?
Copy !req
216. Who could love a man who makes you
jump through burning hoops
like a trained poodle?
Copy !req
217. Do you think
J.J. really likes Steve?
Copy !req
218. Frankly, yes,
much to my surprise.
Copy !req
219. He thinks he's a big talent,
and those boys'll go a big mile, he thinks.
Copy !req
220. - You feel pretty strong
about Dallas, don't you?
- Yes.
Copy !req
221. - Wedding bells?
- I'm discussing it with J.J. in the morning.
Copy !req
222. Makes me feel good to know
that some people want me for myself...
Copy !req
223. not just because
I'm my brother's sister.
Copy !req
224. Come on, I'm just gonna
have to laugh at that -
Copy !req
225. an attractive girl like you.
Copy !req
226. I hope J.J. likes Steve,
that he isn't just putting on an act.
Copy !req
227. Why should he put on
an act for him?
Copy !req
228. Chickie, he's told presidents
where to go and what to do.
Copy !req
229. The act would be for my sake,
not for Steve's.
Copy !req
230. Wait for me.
I'll be back in a minute.
Copy !req
231. Susie.
Copy !req
232. Look, I want to talk
to you a minute.
Copy !req
233. Susie, don't sell
your brother short.
Copy !req
234. Talk this over with him.
You'll find him a real friend.
Copy !req
235. - In case I see J.J., any message?
- Tell him from me...
Copy !req
236. that Steve is the first real man
I've ever been in love with.
Copy !req
237. "21."
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238. Excuse me.
Hey, wait - Hey, Jimmy!
Copy !req
239. What a coincidence!
I was just on my way -
Copy !req
240. Yeah, a coincidence
running into the very man
you've been ducking all week.
Copy !req
241. - This is my press agent, Joan.
- I tried to call ya twice, but your line -
Copy !req
242. What do you do for that hundred
a week? Fall out of bed?
Copy !req
243. Jimmy, I was just on my way -
Copy !req
244. Joan, call a cop.
We'll have this kid arrested for larceny.
Copy !req
245. - Listen, when the band was at Roseland -
- That was two months ago.
Copy !req
246. - Take your hands out of my pocket, thief.
- Jimmy, now take it easy.
Copy !req
247. Why? It's a dirty job,
but I pay clean money for it, don't I?
Copy !req
248. No more, you don't. What is this?
Showing off for the girl?
They supposed to hear you in Korea?
Copy !req
249. Ah, he's clever.
He knows when he's being fired.
Copy !req
250. If you're funny, James,
I'm a pretzel. Drop dead!
Copy !req
251. - How are you tonight, Mr. Falco?
- I'm fine. Is he here?
Copy !req
252. - But of course.
- Alone or surrounded?
Copy !req
253. There's a senator, an agent,
and a thing with blond, wavy hair.
Copy !req
254. - Thanks.
- Good evening.
Copy !req
255. - Honey, get me Mr. Hunsecker.
- Yes, sir.
Copy !req
256. - Oh, he's right inside, Mr. Falco.
- So it isn't long distance.
Copy !req
257. - Hello?
- J.J., it's Sidney.
Copy !req
258. Uh, c-could you come out
for a minute?
Copy !req
259. Could I come out? No.
Copy !req
260. I have to talk to you, J.J.,
that's why.
Copy !req
261. You had to do something for me.
You didn't do it.
Copy !req
262. Could I come in
for a minute?
Copy !req
263. No. You're dead, son. Get yourself buried.
Copy !req
264. Just a moment. I'm ringing.
Copy !req
265. He doesn't answer. Shall I take a message?
Yes, I have it. Thank you.
Copy !req
266. - Oh, uh, Sidney -
- Later, Sam.
Copy !req
267. Harvey, I often wish I were deaf
and wore a hearing aid.
Copy !req
268. With a simple flick of the switch,
I could shut out the greedy murmur
of little men.
Copy !req
269. - J.J., I need your ear for two minutes.
- Mac.
Copy !req
270. - Yes?
- I don't want this man at my table.
Copy !req
271. I've got a message
from your sister.
Copy !req
272. Forgive me, Harvey.
We were interrupted.
Copy !req
273. The Supreme Court story
I was telling you - Justice Black.
Copy !req
274. Oh, yes, Justice Black.
But I believe I had it in my column.
Copy !req
275. Last July, the lead item.
Copy !req
276. I believe that's precisely
where I read it too.
Copy !req
277. You see, J.J.,
where I get my reputation...
Copy !req
278. for being the best-informed man
in Washington.
Copy !req
279. Now, don't kid a kidder.
Copy !req
280. Oh, I don't think we caught
your name, young man.
Copy !req
281. Sidney Falco, sir. But everybody
knows and admires you, Senator Walker.
Copy !req
282. Every six years
I become less convinced of that.
Copy !req
283. Oh, this young lady
is Miss Linda James.
Copy !req
284. She's managed by Manny Davis.
Copy !req
285. I know Manny Davis.
Copy !req
286. Everyone knows Manny Davis...
Copy !req
287. except Mrs. Manny Davis.
Copy !req
288. Go ahead, Billy. Shoot.
Uh-huh.
Copy !req
289. Sports cars are getting
smaller and smaller in California.
Copy !req
290. The other day, you were crossing
Hollywood Boulevard and you got hit by one...
Copy !req
291. and you had to go to the hospital
to get it removed.
Copy !req
292. Billy, you're not following the column.
I had it last week.
Copy !req
293. Senator, do you believe
in capital punishment?
Copy !req
294. - Why?
- A man has just been sentenced to death.
Copy !req
295. Manny, tell me:
What exactly are the unseen gifts...
Copy !req
296. of this lovely young thing
that you manage?
Copy !req
297. Well, she sings a little.
You know, she sings -
Copy !req
298. Manny's faith in me is simply
awe-inspiring, Mr. Hunsecker.
Copy !req
299. - Actually, I'm still studying.
- What subject?
Copy !req
300. Singing, of course.
Straight concert and -
Copy !req
301. Why "of course"?
You might, for instance, be studying politics.
Copy !req
302. - Uh, me?
- Well, you see, J.J., she -
Copy !req
303. I mean, I - You must be
kidding, Mr. Hunsecker.
Copy !req
304. Me, with my Jersey City brains?
Copy !req
305. The brains may be Jersey City...
Copy !req
306. but the clothes
are Traina-Norell.
Copy !req
307. Are you an actor, Mr. Falco?
Copy !req
308. That's what I was thinking.
Are you, Mr. Falco?
Copy !req
309. Well, how did you
guess it, Miss James?
Copy !req
310. He's so... pretty, that's how.
Copy !req
311. Mr. Falco - let it be said at once -
Is a man of 40 faces, not one.
Copy !req
312. None too pretty,
and all deceptive.
Copy !req
313. You see that grin?
That's the, uh -
Copy !req
314. That's the charming street-urchin face.
Copy !req
315. It's part of his helpless act.
He throws himself upon your mercy.
Copy !req
316. He's got a half dozen faces
for the ladies.
Copy !req
317. But the one I like -
the really cute one -
Copy !req
318. is the quick, dependable chap.
Copy !req
319. Nothing he won't do
for you in a pinch...
Copy !req
320. so he says.
Copy !req
321. Mr. Falco, whom I did not invite
to sit at this table tonight...
Copy !req
322. is a hungry press agent
and fully up to all the tricks...
Copy !req
323. of his very slimy trade.
Copy !req
324. Match me, Sidney.
Copy !req
325. Not right this minute, J.J.
Copy !req
326. I know. That wonder boy of yours
opens at the Latin Quarter next week.
Copy !req
327. - J.J., I -
- Say good-bye, Lester.
Copy !req
328. May I ask you
a naive question, Mr. Falco?
Copy !req
329. Exactly how does
a press agent work?
Copy !req
330. - Uh -
- Well, answer the man, Sidney.
Copy !req
331. He's trying to take you
off the hook.
Copy !req
332. You just saw
a good example of it, Senator.
Copy !req
333. A press agent eats a columnist's dirt
and is expected to call it manna.
Copy !req
334. But don't you help columnists
by furnishing them with items?
Copy !req
335. Sure. A columnist
can't do without us...
Copy !req
336. except our good and great friend J.J.
forgets to mention that.
Copy !req
337. - You see, we furnish him with items.
- What? Cheap, gruesome gags?
Copy !req
338. - You print 'em, don't you?
- Yes, with your clients' names attached.
Copy !req
339. That's the only reason
the poor slobs pay you -
Copy !req
340. to see their names
in my column all over the world.
Copy !req
341. - Now you're doing me a favor?
- I didn't say that.
Copy !req
342. The day I can't get along
without a press agent's handouts...
Copy !req
343. I'll close up shop and move to Alaska
lock, stock, and barrel.
Copy !req
344. Sweep out my igloo. Here I come.
Copy !req
345. Manny, you rode in here on the senator's
shirttails, so shut your mouth!
Copy !req
346. Now, come, J.J.
That's a little too harsh.
Copy !req
347. Anyone seems fair game
for you tonight.
Copy !req
348. This man is not for you, Harvey...
Copy !req
349. and you shouldn't be seen
in public with him.
Copy !req
350. Because that's another part
of a press agent's life:
Copy !req
351. They dig up scandal
about prominent people...
Copy !req
352. and shovel it thin among columnists
who give them space.
Copy !req
353. There seems to be some allusion here
that escapes me.
Copy !req
354. We're friends, Harvey.
Copy !req
355. We go as far back as when you were
a fresh kid congressman, don't we?
Copy !req
356. Why is it that everything you say
sounds like a threat?
Copy !req
357. Maybe it's a mannerism,
because I don't threaten friends.
Copy !req
358. But why furnish your enemies
with ammunition?
Copy !req
359. You're a family man, Harvey, and someday,
God willing, you may want to be president.
Copy !req
360. And here you are,
out in the open...
Copy !req
361. where any hep person knows
that this one...
Copy !req
362. is toting that one
around for you.
Copy !req
363. Are we kids, or what?
Copy !req
364. Next time you come up,
you might join me on my T.V. show.
Copy !req
365. Thanks, J.J.,
for what I consider sound advice.
Copy !req
366. Go thou and sin no more.
Copy !req
367. - Senator.
- Good night, Mr. Falco.
Copy !req
368. - Mac, don't let the senator pay that check.
- I'll take care of it, Mr. Hunsecker.
Copy !req
369. President!
Copy !req
370. - Hello, J.J.
- Bill.
Copy !req
371. My big toe would make
a better president.
Copy !req
372. - Mr. Hunsecker's coat, Joe.
- Pick me a good one, Joe.
Copy !req
373. Thanks, AI.
Copy !req
374. - Anyone calls, Dan, I'll be at EI Morocco.
- Very good, Mr. Hunsecker.
Copy !req
375. Where's your coat, Sidney?
Saving tips?
Copy !req
376. My curiosity's killing me, but what are you
so rambunctious about tonight?
Copy !req
377. There's your fat friend.
Copy !req
378. Police cars, 16th Precinct, attention.
Copy !req
379. Signal 30 - Signal 3-0 -
at bar and grill, 48th and Broadway.
Copy !req
380. Police cars, 16th Precinct, attention.
Signal 30.
Copy !req
381. - Signal 30 at bar and grill -
Copy !req
382. - Hello, Harry.
- Buona sera, commendatore. Come sta?
Copy !req
383. Italian, Sidney. That shows
Lieutenant Kello likes your people.
Copy !req
384. It's my Brooklyn background, J.J.
Good with Yiddish too.
Copy !req
385. Harry! Am I supposed
to say "uncle"?
Copy !req
386. - Hello, Phil. How's the kids?
- Just great, Mr. Hunsecker.
Copy !req
387. Anything fit for me to print tonight?
Copy !req
388. Nah, I just checked downtown.
It's quiet everywhere.
Copy !req
389. What happened to that doll? The item
you gave me last night - she still alive?
Copy !req
390. Yeah, in Bellevue. She's hanging on,
but we still don't know if she was pushed.
Copy !req
391. - Maybe she jumped. Love suicide.
- Could be.
Copy !req
392. - Check that, will you, Phil?
It's a real heartthrob.
- Car 437 to Central -
Copy !req
393. Harry, say hello
to Sidney Falco.
Copy !req
394. Tickle him a little.
He's been a bad boy tonight.
Copy !req
395. He called you my "fat friend."
Copy !req
396. I don't believe it.
Copy !req
397. I know, I know.
The strongest cop in town.
Copy !req
398. I call him
"the boy with the ice-cream face."
Copy !req
399. That's good. It's nice.
In fact it's apt, Harry.
Copy !req
400. Yeah, I got eyes.
I put things together.
Copy !req
401. I remember once when you didn't
quite put things together.
Copy !req
402. Boy, was the mayor mad.
Copy !req
403. - Car 437 -
- "Citizens' committee."
Copy !req
404. I didn't mean to hit
the boy so hard.
Copy !req
405. That's when a fellow really needed a friend,
and I won't forget his initials, J.J.
Copy !req
406. Mr. Hunsecker?
Copy !req
407. - She died 20 minutes ago.
- That's show business. Thanks, Phil.
Copy !req
408. See ya, Harry.
Copy !req
409. See ya, Kello.
Copy !req
410. Hasta la vista, J.J.
Hasta luego.
Copy !req
411. Spanish. That shows
he likes the spicks too, huh?
Copy !req
412. I like Harry,
but I can't deny he sweats a little.
Copy !req
413. Don't try to come back,
or I'll throw you out again.
Copy !req
414. Just a minute.
My hat's in there, and I paid -
Copy !req
415. Leave him alone! Leave him alone!
Copy !req
416. I love this dirty town.
Copy !req
417. Sidney,
conjugate me a verb.
Copy !req
418. For instance, "to promise."
Copy !req
419. You promised to break up
that romance. When?
Copy !req
420. You want something done, J.J., but I doubt
if you yourself know what's involved.
Copy !req
421. - I'm a schoolboy. Teach me.
- Why don't you break it up yourself?
Copy !req
422. You know you could do it
in a couple minutes flat.
Copy !req
423. At this late date
you need explanations?
Copy !req
424. Susie's all I've got.
Now she's growing up...
Copy !req
425. I want my relationship with her
to remain at least at par.
Copy !req
426. I don't intend to do anything
to antagonize her if I don't have to.
Copy !req
427. Be warned, son.
I'll have to blitz you.
Copy !req
428. Frankly, J.J., I don't think
you got the cards to blitz me.
Copy !req
429. - I don't?
- Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think so.
Copy !req
430. I'll listen for one more minute.
Copy !req
431. About a year ago,
I did you a certain favor.
Copy !req
432. It was a thing - Well, I never did
such a dirty thing in my life.
Copy !req
433. All right, it's forgotten. Forget it.
Which brings us up to five weeks ago.
Copy !req
434. "Sidney, I got
a nasty little problem here.
Copy !req
435. Do so-and-so and I'll appreciate it."
Did I say no? Was I fussy?
Copy !req
436. I'm the first to admit
it didn't gel as fast as we'd like...
Copy !req
437. but why all of a sudden
can't I get you on the phone?
Copy !req
438. And why am I frozen
out of the column?
Copy !req
439. - You finished?
- No. Let me finish, J.J.
Copy !req
440. I don't like this job.
That boy is dumb on matinee days only.
Otherwise, he's got a head.
Copy !req
441. And Susan, like you said,
is growing up. Two heads.
Copy !req
442. - What I mean, we got a slippery,
dangerous problem here.
- Not we, Sidney. You.
Copy !req
443. Correct me if I'm wrong, J.J. - we!
Copy !req
444. Because if I'm gonna go out on a limb
for you, you gotta know what's involved.
Copy !req
445. My right hand hasn't seen
my left hand in 30 years.
Copy !req
446. I'll do it, J.J.
Don't get me wrong.
Copy !req
447. In for a penny, in for a pound.
I'll go through with it.
Copy !req
448. But stop beating me on the head.
Let me make a living.
Copy !req
449. Sidney, what you promised, do it.
Don't finagle around.
Copy !req
450. It's later than you think.
Copy !req
451. Excuse me, J.J. It's later than you think.
That boy proposed to her.
Copy !req
452. Susie told you that?
Copy !req
453. - Uh-huh.
- What was her answer?
Copy !req
454. She'll discuss it
with you at breakfast.
Copy !req
455. That means you've got a plan.
Copy !req
456. - Can you deliver?
- Tonight.
Copy !req
457. Before you go to bed.
Copy !req
458. Cat's in the bag,
and the bag's in the river.
Copy !req
459. Don't be a two-time loser, Sidney.
The penalty could be severe.
Copy !req
460. Good evening, Mr. Falco.
Copy !req
461. Well, I get the right point.
That's the way I like to hear it.
Copy !req
462. - Hi, Harry. Seen Arthur?
- Yeah, he's around here someplace.
Copy !req
463. - Hiya, Sid. You want a table?
- No. Just hoppin'. Leo Bartha been in?
Copy !req
464. Yeah, he's havin' supper with the missus.
She's over there, and he's, uh -
Copy !req
465. - Oh, I see him. Thanks.
- You bet.
Copy !req
466. Hello, Leo. How goes
the Sunday piece on cigarette girls?
Copy !req
467. Who told you about it?
Copy !req
468. The cigarette girl, Rita.
And she took out all her hairpins too.
Copy !req
469. I never had the pleasure of meeting
your wife. You know what I wonder, Leo?
Copy !req
470. I wonder maybe you can use
a hot little item for tomorrow's column.
Copy !req
471. What is this, blackmail?
Copy !req
472. Beat it.
Copy !req
473. Leo, I've never had the pleasure
of meeting your wife.
Copy !req
474. Sidney Falco, Loretta.
Copy !req
475. - How do you do, Mr. Falco?
- How do you do?
Copy !req
476. If you know anything
about the horses, sit down.
Copy !req
477. Help yourself to a glass
of this New York State champagne.
Copy !req
478. That's what my husband buys me.
Copy !req
479. These imported wines aren't
what they're cracked up to be.
Copy !req
480. Whose side are you on,
Mr. Falco, his or mine?
Copy !req
481. Frankly, I'm a neutral observer
for the United Nations.
Copy !req
482. - What's your first name?
- Sidney.
Copy !req
483. No horse running tomorrow
by that name.
Copy !req
484. Why don't you stop this business
with the two-dollar bets?
Copy !req
485. It's compensation, Leo,
for the marginal life we lead.
Copy !req
486. Sidney, did you hear the story
about the cloak-and-suiter who -
Copy !req
487. That's right. You tell him, and I read it
in Hunsecker's column first.
Copy !req
488. Oh, are you a spy
for the other side?
Copy !req
489. No. I actually sat down
to give Leo an item.
Copy !req
490. Leo, he wants
to give you an item.
Copy !req
491. - Don't be sullen.
- Would you mind your own business?
Copy !req
492. Hitler.
Copy !req
493. In case you want to use it, it's, uh, blind.
No names mentioned.
Copy !req
494. For your private information,
the guy's name is Dallas.
Copy !req
495. There's not a single name here
that gives off vibrations.
Copy !req
496. Is there anything
with a name like Cigarette Girl?
Copy !req
497. Uh, Cigarette Girl... no.
Copy !req
498. There's no name here like that.
Copy !req
499. - I don't print blind items.
- What is this, chess or checkers?
Copy !req
500. Neither does Hunsecker.
Copy !req
501. He likes to use the real names.
Copy !req
502. - Waiter, the check.
- Why are we running?
What am I missing here?
Copy !req
503. This man is trying
to hold a gun to my head.
Copy !req
504. Shotgun! That's the horse.
Shotgun in the fifth.
Copy !req
505. - Wha-
- You wanna tell my wife something.
What? What, Sidney?
Copy !req
506. He wants to tell you
you spilled champagne all over.
Copy !req
507. - Go on, tell her.
- What are you getting excited about?
Are you nuts? Calm down.
Copy !req
508. Sorry, Lorrie.
I can't let this man blackmail me.
Copy !req
509. Blackmail?
Copy !req
510. Wants me to print
a dirty little smear item...
Copy !req
511. - in exchange for keeping his mouth shut.
- About what?
Copy !req
512. Foolishly, Lorrie, I -
Copy !req
513. I hope you'll understand that -
This cigarette girl -
Copy !req
514. I-I was kidding around.
With the girl, I mean.
Copy !req
515. I was kidding.
She took it seriously.
Copy !req
516. A case of bad judgment.
Copy !req
517. Bad taste.
Copy !req
518. I'm just sorry, that's all.
Copy !req
519. And your friend Hunsecker -
Copy !req
520. You tell him for me
he's a disgrace to his profession.
Copy !req
521. Never mind about my -
my bilious private life.
Copy !req
522. I run a decent, responsible column.
That's the way it stays.
Copy !req
523. Your man prints anything!
Copy !req
524. He'll use any spice to pepper up
his daily garbage!
Copy !req
525. You tell him I said so!
Copy !req
526. Tell him that, like yourself,
he's got the scruples of a guinea pig...
Copy !req
527. and the morals of a gangster.
Copy !req
528. What do I do now?
Whistle "Stars and Stripes Forever"?
Copy !req
529. What you do now, Mr. Falco,
is crow like a hen.
Copy !req
530. You have just laid an egg.
Copy !req
531. Leo, this is the first clean thing
I've seen you do in years.
Copy !req
532. Mr. Elwell wants to see you,
Mr. Falco.
Copy !req
533. I see Bartha gave you
cold tongue for supper.
Copy !req
534. - I got a late date with a dame -
- Wait a minute.
Copy !req
535. Look, Otis, if you're trying to blow this brawl
into an item for your column, forget it!
Copy !req
536. By the way, what's this I hear about J.J.
giving you the flit-gun treatment?
Copy !req
537. He's shut you out of his column.
Copy !req
538. Why?
Copy !req
539. You don't know that lunatic yet?
Copy !req
540. Whims, whims.
Egotistic whims.
Copy !req
541. He's like the gag: You got him for a friend,
you don't need an enemy.
Copy !req
542. That's what my beef
with Leo Bartha was about.
Copy !req
543. "Leo," I says, "J.J. froze me out,
so I'm eating humble pie this month.
Copy !req
544. Please, please
print me an item."
Copy !req
545. And instead he printed
his heel in your face, hmm?
Copy !req
546. - You're full of human feelings.
- Turn the record over, Sidney.
Copy !req
547. Like most of the human race, I'm bored.
I'd go a mile for a chuckle.
Copy !req
548. - Or two miles for a pretty girl.
- Three.
Copy !req
549. Then you're really washed up
with Hunsecker, huh?
Copy !req
550. This is how much
I'm washed up with Hunsecker.
Copy !req
551. Look, Otis, I make no brief
about my bilious private life...
Copy !req
552. but he's got the morals of a guinea pig
and the scruples of a gangster.
Copy !req
553. A fine, fat, dirty item.
Copy !req
554. Who's it about?
Copy !req
555. Um, a kid named Dallas.
Copy !req
556. He runs a dinky jazz quintet...
Copy !req
557. but he happens to be keeping company
with J.J.'s screwball sister.
Copy !req
558. It's a real goody if, like me,
you wanna clobber J.J.
Copy !req
559. He's got his T.V. tomorrow.
He'd read it before rehearsals.
Copy !req
560. I want to clobber J.J.
Copy !req
561. Trouble is, I can't think of a good reason
why I should print anything you give me.
Copy !req
562. I can't even think
of a bad reason.
Copy !req
563. Suppose I introduce you
to a, a lovely reason...
Copy !req
564. that's both good and bad...
Copy !req
565. and available.
Copy !req
566. I'm not an unreasonable man.
Copy !req
567. Hi.
Copy !req
568. Rita, say hello to Otis Elwell.
Copy !req
569. Hello.
Copy !req
570. Hello.
My friends call me Otis.
Copy !req
571. Sometimes "Tricky Otis."
Copy !req
572. Otis was real outraged when I told him
Van Cleve was going to fire you.
Copy !req
573. - He - He was?
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
574. - Don't I know you from somewhere?
- Otis.
Copy !req
575. Saratoga.
Copy !req
576. - Last summer?
- Relax, relax.
Copy !req
577. Come on, take the weight
off those lovely gams, huh?
Copy !req
578. Look, I fixed you a drink.
Copy !req
579. Sure. Relax, Rita.
Copy !req
580. When you look at me,
you look at a friend in disguise.
Copy !req
581. Miami Beach?
Copy !req
582. Haven't been to Florida
since I was a little girl.
Copy !req
583. Well, here's to the time
when we played with dolls...
Copy !req
584. and, uh, dreamed
of better things.
Copy !req
585. Here, Otis.
Copy !req
586. A cozy place
you've got here, Sidney.
Copy !req
587. - Make yourself at home.
- Nice, nice.
Copy !req
588. And snug.
Copy !req
589. Otis carries a lot of weight
with your boss, honey.
Copy !req
590. He's gonna tell him not to pay
any attention to anything...
Copy !req
591. you-know-who says
about you-know-what.
Copy !req
592. - Right, Otis?
- Right.
Copy !req
593. And now this is Don Holloway -
Copy !req
594. Why don't you two talk it over
until, uh, until I get back?
Copy !req
595. music for your
all-night listening pleasure.
Copy !req
596. - Back?
- Yes, you know these business meetings...
Copy !req
597. always coming up
in the middle of the night.
Copy !req
598. Hold on.
Copy !req
599. You can drop me off
on your way!
Copy !req
600. - Consternation reigns.
- Now, Otis -
Copy !req
601. I hate J.J., but not that much
at this moment.
Copy !req
602. L-Look, gimme a chance, huh?
Gimme a chance.
Copy !req
603. D-Don't you know
who that man is?
Copy !req
604. - Yeah. Otis Elwell, the columnist.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
605. And he's a perfect stranger to me.
Copy !req
606. So take five minutes.
Get acquainted.
Copy !req
607. He's an important man.
Copy !req
608. He's lonely.
Don't be dumb!
Copy !req
609. What do you want all of a sudden?
Lady Godiva?
Copy !req
610. Where's my other shoe?
Copy !req
611. What kind of an act is this?
Copy !req
612. Don't you think I have any feelings?
What am I?
Copy !req
613. A-A bowl of fruit?
A-A tangerine that peels in a minute?
Copy !req
614. I beg your pardon.
How do you like this?
Copy !req
615. I turn myself inside out to do you a favor,
and now I'm the heavy.
Copy !req
616. Here's your shoe...
Copy !req
617. there's your coat...
Copy !req
618. and there's the door.
Copy !req
619. Sidney, I don't do this sort of thing.
Copy !req
620. - What sort of thing?
- This sort of thing!
Copy !req
621. You need him for a favor,
don't you?
Copy !req
622. Well, so do I.
I need his column tonight.
Copy !req
623. Didn't you ask me
to do somethin' about your job?
Copy !req
624. Don't you have a kid
in military school?
Copy !req
625. You're a snake, Falco.
Copy !req
626. You're a louse... a real louse.
Copy !req
627. Honey, he's gonna help ya!
Copy !req
628. Huh?
Copy !req
629. How many drinks does it take...
Copy !req
630. to put you
in that tropical-island mood?
Copy !req
631. Havana - that's where we met!
Copy !req
632. Here's mud in your column.
Copy !req
633. Blessings on thee, the both.
Copy !req
634. Well, gotta run.
See you kids later.
Copy !req
635. Mmm. Hurry back.
Copy !req
636. Don't do anything I wouldn't do...
Copy !req
637. and that gives you
a lot of leeway.
Copy !req
638. Palm Springs.
Copy !req
639. Two years ago.
Copy !req
640. Don't tell Sidney.
Copy !req
641. Hello, J.J.? Sidney.
Copy !req
642. J.J.?
Copy !req
643. Yes, Sidney.
Copy !req
644. You sound happy, Sidney.
Why should you be happy when I'm not?
Copy !req
645. How do you spell Picasso, the painter?
One S or two?
Copy !req
646. Two.
Copy !req
647. An item:
He goes out with three-eyed girls.
Copy !req
648. You know, it'd be nice
if you mentioned R-O-B-A-R-D.
Copy !req
649. Robard's Jazz Joint.
It's his 20th anniversary.
Copy !req
650. Now, don't begrudge it to me, J.J.
I owe him a lot of favors.
Copy !req
651. I think you understand
that the Dallas skull is badly dented.
Copy !req
652. Oh, yeah, very bad.
Copy !req
653. Starting today, you can play
marbles with his eyeballs.
Copy !req
654. Now, don't begrudge it to me, J.J.
Mention Robard.
Copy !req
655. - R-O-
- We shall see what we shall see, Sidney.
Copy !req
656. And Sidney,
don't use this phone anymore.
Copy !req
657. I have a nervous sister.
Copy !req
658. - Get your paper here.
- Record.
Copy !req
659. Thank you. Get your paper here.
Read all about it.
Copy !req
660. Get your paper here.
Read all about it.
Copy !req
661. Read all about it.
Get your paper here.
Copy !req
662. I have no power to retract, Mr. Cummings.
I'm only Mr. Hunsecker's secretary.
Copy !req
663. No, nor do I agree
that any retraction is necessary.
Copy !req
664. Thank you for calling.
Copy !req
665. I fail to see what's amusing
about these papers.
Copy !req
666. - I'll get the boss to sign them.
- They're important.
Copy !req
667. You've said that six times.
That's why I'm smiling.
Copy !req
668. Hello, Mary, me darlin'.
And what are you up to today?
Copy !req
669. That's a question
I usually like to ask you.
Copy !req
670. - Your secretary phoned.
- About what?
Copy !req
671. Something about a Frank D'Angelo
trying to reach you.
Copy !req
672. Is, um, that the man who manages
Susie's boyfriend?
Copy !req
673. - Mm-hmm.
- Have you seen this?
Copy !req
674. Otis Elwell's column today?
Copy !req
675. "The dreamy
marijuana smoke...
Copy !req
676. of a lad who heads
a highbrow jazz quintet...
Copy !req
677. is giving an inelegant odor...
Copy !req
678. to that elegant East Side club
where he works.
Copy !req
679. That's no way for a card-holding
Party member to act.
Copy !req
680. Moscow won't like it,
you naughty boy."
Copy !req
681. Sidney Falco office.
Copy !req
682. - Hello, Sally? I got your message.
- Sidney -
Copy !req
683. If D'Angelo calls, tell him I'll be back
at the office around noon. Bye.
Copy !req
684. - Could this be that boy?
- Dallas? Could be.
Copy !req
685. Doesn't look like a flyer to me.
Copy !req
686. If it's true,
J.J.'s gonna hit the ceiling.
Copy !req
687. Can it be news to you that J.J.'s ceiling
needs a new plaster job every six weeks?
Copy !req
688. Sidney.
Copy !req
689. You know, J.J. doesn't like people
who look at the column proof in advance.
Copy !req
690. Mary, my darlin',
I'm not "people."
Copy !req
691. There's Falco blood, sweat,
and tears in that column.
Copy !req
692. How 'bout dinner tonight?
Copy !req
693. Bribing me again?
Copy !req
694. Now, why should I bribe the woman
that holds most of my heart?
Copy !req
695. You're a real rascal, Sidney.
Copy !req
696. You're an amusing boy...
Copy !req
697. but you haven't got a drop
of respect in you for anything alive.
Copy !req
698. You're so immersed...
Copy !req
699. in a theology
of making a fast buck.
Copy !req
700. Not that I don't sometimes feel
that you yearn for something better.
Copy !req
701. Mary, don't try and sell me
the Brooklyn Bridge.
Copy !req
702. I happen to know
it belongs to the Dodgers.
Copy !req
703. Oh, I don't mind you looking at the column
in advance, so long as J.J. doesn't know.
Copy !req
704. But don't do it like a little boy
stealing gum from a slot machine.
Copy !req
705. Who put this item in
about the comic?
Copy !req
706. "If there's a more hilarious funnyman
around than Herbie Temple at the Palace...
Copy !req
707. you'll have to pardon us
for not catching the name.
Copy !req
708. We were too busy screaming."
Copy !req
709. Does this Temple
have a press agent?
Copy !req
710. No. Just one of J.J.'s
occasional beaux gestes.
Copy !req
711. Evidently the fellow's funny,
so he gave him a plug.
Copy !req
712. What's your favorite ribbon
for your favorite chocolate?
Copy !req
713. Let's wait till Christmas.
It's more legitimate then.
Copy !req
714. - Hey!
- Herbie Temple onstage yet?
Copy !req
715. Yeah, but you can't go in there now.
Copy !req
716. I said, "Figo,
I'm not sellin' ya a dozen eggs.
Copy !req
717. I'm sellin' ya Herbie Temple,
so don't give me any of your lip."
Copy !req
718. - Hi, Al.
- Since when did you two get acquainted?
Copy !req
719. - How do you do, Mr. Temple?
- D-D-Delighted.
Copy !req
720. - I'm Sidney Falco.
- Oh. D-D-De- I'm glad to know you.
Copy !req
721. Watch out for this guy, Herbie.
He's a press agent.
Copy !req
722. You watch out for him, AI.
I stutter.
Copy !req
723. Uh, I caught your act
the other night, and -
Copy !req
724. On the first or second bounce?
Copy !req
725. And I just wanted to tell you
how great you were.
Copy !req
726. Well, that's fine.
What time is it, AI?
Copy !req
727. Oh. You got 10 minutes yet.
Copy !req
728. Look, Falco, I hate to bother ya,
but we're kinda busy.
Copy !req
729. It's all right.
I'm a little busy myself.
Copy !req
730. I'm busy too.
Don't call us. We'll call you.
Copy !req
731. You mind if I ask an impertinent question,
with no criticism intended?
Copy !req
732. Of course, AI, I know
you earn your 10 percent...
Copy !req
733. but how can you let a sock act
like Herbie Temple...
Copy !req
734. tiptoe through town
without a publicity build?
Copy !req
735. We're not buying it, Falco.
No fish today.
Copy !req
736. I'm not selling any.
I'm just curious, that's all.
Copy !req
737. Answer his question fast, will ya?
Before he asks ya five more.
Copy !req
738. Mr. Temple don't believe in press agents.
Does that answer you something?
Copy !req
739. Take your hands off me, lump!
Copy !req
740. Look, nobody believes
in a press agent, Temple...
Copy !req
741. if, uh, if he makes claims
he can't produce.
Copy !req
742. I'm not here to try to sell anything,
and I'm not gonna peddle anything.
Copy !req
743. But when I tell a client...
Copy !req
744. I can get him space
in Hunsecker's column...
Copy !req
745. it's not talk.
Copy !req
746. Excuse me.
Copy !req
747. - Listen, you bull artist,
if you think you can blackmail -
- Let him alone, AI.
Copy !req
748. - Hello. Sidney -
Copy !req
749. Hello, Mary?
Could I talk to J.J., please?
Copy !req
750. Now, look, nobody hired you.
We didn't talk any deal.
Copy !req
751. Relax, lump.
Copy !req
752. I told ya I wasn't peddling
any fish today.
Copy !req
753. J.J., hi. Sidney Falco.
How are you, sweetheart?
Copy !req
754. Fine. Just fine, thanks.
Copy !req
755. Uh, look, I know it's late,
but, um...
Copy !req
756. is it too late to add something
to your column?
Copy !req
757. No, no.
Copy !req
758. No relative, but very important.
Copy !req
759. If you got a piece of paper and pencil,
I can suggest a word or two. Good.
Copy !req
760. "If there's a more hilariously
funny man around than, uh...
Copy !req
761. than Herbie Temple at the Palace,
you'll, uh...
Copy !req
762. you'll pardon us
for not catching his name.
Copy !req
763. We were too busy laughing."
Copy !req
764. No, make that,
"We were too busy screaming."
Copy !req
765. Right. Thanks, J.J.
Probably see you at "21 " later.
Copy !req
766. No. Supper. Right.
Copy !req
767. Good-bye,
and thanks again. Bye.
Copy !req
768. Speak to the man, AI.
Uh, wait a minute. Hold it, will ya?
Copy !req
769. - AI, speak to the - Mr. Falco.
- See me in my office.
Copy !req
770. AI makes all the deals, doc.
I can't -
Copy !req
771. I don't like a fella
that's quick with his hands.
Copy !req
772. You know, Temple, you've been
three passes behind for the last 20 years.
Copy !req
773. This could start you off real big.
T.V., movies, anywhere.
Copy !req
774. Probably cost us
a pretty penny too, huh?
Copy !req
775. You tell him.
I st-st-st-stutter.
Copy !req
776. Look, why don't we wait
until tomorrow?
Copy !req
777. Wait as long as you like.
Copy !req
778. You know where my office is.
Copy !req
779. - Let's go to the club.
- All right, take it easy, Steve.
Copy !req
780. Hi.
Copy !req
781. Well, what is here, a wake?
Copy !req
782. - You read as you run, don't you?
- it's a habit with me.
Copy !req
783. So now I'm briefed.
So what?
Copy !req
784. Frank thought I shouldn't
come here, but I thought -
Copy !req
785. Excuse me, Steve. I said, namely,
you shouldn't go around wild...
Copy !req
786. blamin' people
without justification.
Copy !req
787. But I thought you might have
a faint idea how that item originated.
Copy !req
788. - Why me?
- Why not you?
Copy !req
789. Wha- Oh, that's your idea
of logic, huh?
Copy !req
790. I go to the judge and say,
"I didn't murder the man"...
Copy !req
791. but the judge says to me,
"Why not you?"
Copy !req
792. There's only two men in this town
that could be responsible for that smear:
Copy !req
793. you or Hunsecker or both!
Copy !req
794. Hunsecker and Elwell
are enemies to the knife...
Copy !req
795. - so how do you get him doing J.J. a favor?
- It is a favor, isn't it?
Copy !req
796. Dallas, your mouth is as big
as a basket and twice as empty.
Copy !req
797. I don't like you, period!
Copy !req
798. But neither do I go along
with this column...
Copy !req
799. saying you smoke, uh, marijuana
and belong with the Reds.
Copy !req
800. Also, since
we're talking repulsive...
Copy !req
801. J.J. won't like this for two se-
Don't give me that look, Dallas.
Copy !req
802. J.J. believes in fair play.
And secondly...
Copy !req
803. this could splatter his sister with rotten egg
by implication. Uh, you're the boyfriend.
Copy !req
804. - You're talking very fast.
- Well, I'll tell you what!
Copy !req
805. Excuse me for breathing, will ya?
How do you like this two-bit banjo player?
Copy !req
806. - He comes into my office -
- Look!
Copy !req
807. - Wise guy -
- Boys, boys, boys.
Copy !req
808. This gets nobody nowhere.
Copy !req
809. - You're overexcited, Steve.
- Don't apologize for me.
Copy !req
810. And with good reason,
I wanted to say.
Copy !req
811. - This endangers the future
of the whole quintet.
- Should I cry?
Copy !req
812. People catch on very quick
to such an item.
Copy !req
813. Van Cleve already called me.
He's firing the quintet.
Copy !req
814. So what are you doing here?
Go over there and fight.
Copy !req
815. Look, if Van Cleve fires your boy,
that'll give that lie a ring of truth.
Copy !req
816. I want to speak
to Miss Hunsecker, please.
Copy !req
817. - Hello?
- Susie, this is Steve.
- Steve.
Copy !req
818. Don't be alarmed, but I want you to take
a look at Elwell's column in The Record.
Copy !req
819. Today.
Copy !req
820. No, it's about me.
A smear.
Copy !req
821. A-A smear? What -
What kind of a smear?
Copy !req
822. - Where are you?
- We're on our way to the Elysian
to dicker with Van Cleve.
Copy !req
823. He's fired us already.
Copy !req
824. L-Look, I'll call you later, dear.
Good-bye.
Copy !req
825. Come on, Frank.
Copy !req
826. If I told Steve what I really think,
he'd tear your head off.
Copy !req
827. - Tell him.
- No.
Copy !req
828. I'm interested in his future.
Copy !req
829. - What's the matter with you?
- Nothing.
Copy !req
830. Y-You know, Sally,
I sometimes get the impression...
Copy !req
831. you think you live
in Starbright Park.
Copy !req
832. This is life!
Get used to it!
Copy !req
833. Yes?
Copy !req
834. J.J., I presume you saw
the Elwell smear.
Copy !req
835. U-Uh, no.
No, no medals. Not yet.
Copy !req
836. It's a lot worse than that.
Copy !req
837. Auntie Van Cleve is firing him.
Copy !req
838. I just got it from the horse's mouth.
They were just here in a panic.
Copy !req
839. You mean to say they've already
traced the smear to you?
Copy !req
840. Then what are you so smug about?
Susie isn't dumb.
Copy !req
841. All she does is put two and two
together, and I'm a chicken in a pot.
Copy !req
842. Uh, J.J., peace on earth
and goodwill to men.
Copy !req
843. Everything's working out
just the way I planned.
Copy !req
844. I guarantee the bomb'll pop
right on schedule.
Copy !req
845. Get him back his -
You said get him back his job.
Copy !req
846. For what?
Copy !req
847. Look, Sidney, I don't like this.
This is traveling in the dark.
Copy !req
848. You better get over here
as fast as you can.
Copy !req
849. No, wait a minute.
Susie's up and about.
Copy !req
850. I'll have to do
a fine song and dance.
Copy !req
851. Meet me at the T.V.
about 3:00.
Copy !req
852. Susie?
Come in a minute, dear.
Copy !req
853. Susie, you're very much
in my thoughts today.
Copy !req
854. - Why?
- Why?
Copy !req
855. What a question, dear,
with that newspaper in your hand.
Copy !req
856. Did Sidney tell you about it?
Copy !req
857. Yes, he phoned.
Copy !req
858. Susie, I don't know
this boy too well.
Copy !req
859. Anything in these charges?
Copy !req
860. - You're not being partial, are you?
- No, I'm not. I'm not.
Copy !req
861. Now, take it easy, Susie. You don't have
to protest with me. I'll trust your judgment.
Copy !req
862. Come into camp, ya poor kid.
You look so nervous.
Copy !req
863. You're trembling, dear.
Copy !req
864. - Sidney didn't take long
to phone you, did he?
- Naturally.
Copy !req
865. Anything that touches you
touches me... doesn't it?
Copy !req
866. You know, dear,
we're drifting apart, you and I...
Copy !req
867. and I don't like it.
Copy !req
868. A year ago,
in your wildest dreams...
Copy !req
869. would you have walked past that door
without coming in here...
Copy !req
870. to take up the situation with me?
Today I had to call you in.
Copy !req
871. - But I'm taking up the situation with you now.
- Let me finish, dear.
Copy !req
872. You've had your say.
Let me have mine.
Copy !req
873. But I haven't said anything, J.J.!
Copy !req
874. Susie, I want to help you.
Copy !req
875. You're all I've got
in this whole wide world.
Copy !req
876. There's nothing
I wouldn't do for you.
Copy !req
877. What do you want me to do?
Name it.
Copy !req
878. Because I don't like
that troubled look on your face.
Copy !req
879. If you really want
to help me, J.J...
Copy !req
880. get Steve back his job.
Copy !req
881. He means that much to you?
Copy !req
882. Yes.
Copy !req
883. With your prestige
it'll only take a minute.
Copy !req
884. Ten cents' worth
of American Tel & Tel.
Copy !req
885. You're picking up my lingo, hon.
Copy !req
886. I read your column every day.
Copy !req
887. Susie, I like
this crisp new attitude of yours.
Copy !req
888. You're growing up,
and I like it.
Copy !req
889. I don't like it when you're limp and
dependent, when you're odd and wayward.
Copy !req
890. This Dallas boy
must be good for you.
Copy !req
891. Why don't you bring him around
today before the show?
Copy !req
892. This time I'll clean my glasses
for a better look.
Copy !req
893. Let me have Billy Van Cleve.
Copy !req
894. Don't ever tell anyone, Susie,
how I'm tied to your apron strings.
Copy !req
895. Billy? J.J. Hunsecker.
Copy !req
896. Now, what about
this Dallas boy?
Copy !req
897. That's right.
What about this Dallas boy?
Copy !req
898. "A man has the right
to face his accusers.
Copy !req
899. That's the American way.
Who said? The man said."
Copy !req
900. Burton, don't hang around.
If I run over, I'll cut some items off the tail.
Copy !req
901. "From Washington
through Jefferson...
Copy !req
902. from Lincoln and F.D.R.
right up to today...
Copy !req
903. the democratic way of life -
that's what the man said.
Copy !req
904. Nowadays
it doesn't export too well...
Copy !req
905. but you know and I know
that our best secret weapon...
Copy !req
906. - is D-E-M-O-C-R-A-C-Y."
- That's grand!
Copy !req
907. "Let's never forget it,
ladies and gentlemen."
Copy !req
908. Just grand, J.J.!
Is my makeup all right?
Copy !req
909. - Despite the scads of movies I've made -
- it's fine. Mary, take care of Miss Tam.
Copy !req
910. Anything she wants.
She's our star today.
Copy !req
911. never been on T.V. Thank you.
Copy !req
912. Where's the script?
Copy !req
913. I got that boy
coming over here today.
Copy !req
914. If I can trust my eyes - and I think I can -
Susie knows all about your dirty work.
Copy !req
915. Can't hurt.
Copy !req
916. Can't hurt?
I had to get that boy his job back.
Copy !req
917. Look, J.J...
Copy !req
918. we can tie this off
into one neat bundle...
Copy !req
919. address it to the dumps,
to oblivion.
Copy !req
920. We're doing great,
but please do it my way.
Copy !req
921. I've cased this kid.
I know his ins and outs.
Copy !req
922. He's full of juice and vinegar,
just waiting...
Copy !req
923. for a big shot like you
to put on the squeeze.
Copy !req
924. You got the boy his job back - okay.
But he's not gonna accept your favor.
Copy !req
925. The manager, yeah,
but not that boy.
Copy !req
926. What has this boy got
that Susie likes?
Copy !req
927. Integrity.
Acute, like indigestion.
Copy !req
928. What does this mean,
"integrity"?
Copy !req
929. A pocketful of firecrackers...
Copy !req
930. waitin' for a match.
Copy !req
931. You know, it's a new wrinkle.
To tell you the truth...
Copy !req
932. I never thought I'd make a killing
on some guy's integrity.
Copy !req
933. I'd hate to take a bite out of you.
Copy !req
934. You're a cookie full of arsenic.
Copy !req
935. Move the lamp to your right.
Copy !req
936. I still think he's responsible
for the smears.
Copy !req
937. Not that I'm convinced, but you'll never
prove it in a thousand years.
Copy !req
938. Steve, you'll do what you want,
but it can't hurt.
Copy !req
939. He offers you an olive branch,
so today like olives.
Copy !req
940. Excuse me.
Copy !req
941. Steve, before we go in,
could I -
Copy !req
942. Hi. Just in time.
Copy !req
943. J.J. just finished up
his rehearsal.
Copy !req
944. Looks like a wedding.
Copy !req
945. - You look lovely, dear.
- Steve, you've met my brother.
Copy !req
946. - Of course. Frank.
- Yes.
Copy !req
947. Well, son, looks like you went out and
got a packet of trouble for yourself, hmm?
Copy !req
948. You've been very kind about it,
Mr. Hunsecker.
Copy !req
949. Ah, give Susie credit for that. I took her word
there was nothing to the smear.
Copy !req
950. As a matter of fact, I'll have plenty to say
about smears on my show today.
Copy !req
951. And that's why I'd -
Well, I'd like your personal assurance too.
Copy !req
952. Mr. Hunsecker,
there is nothing to this smear.
Copy !req
953. - You have my sincere word.
- I'll buy that.
Copy !req
954. Now you do me a favor.
Be good to my kid sister.
Copy !req
955. Yeah, she's had
a lot of trouble for a kid.
Copy !req
956. Susie has her girlish secrets,
but in her heart of hearts...
Copy !req
957. I imagine, Dallas, she fancies you
in an uncommon way.
Copy !req
958. Now, how 'bout you?
Not just, uh -
Copy !req
959. Well, not just tomcatting
around, I hope.
Copy !req
960. - J.J., Steve is not -
- Now, take it easy, Susie.
Copy !req
961. Steve wouldn't be much of a man if he
didn't understand my concern, would you?
Copy !req
962. No, I wouldn't.
Copy !req
963. Serious as a deacon.
I like it. I like it fine.
Copy !req
964. In a world of old rags and bones,
I like it.
Copy !req
965. Now, you take Sidney here.
Copy !req
966. If Sidney ever got
anywhere near Susie...
Copy !req
967. I'd take a baseball bat,
break it over his head.
Copy !req
968. Hey, Joe!
Copy !req
969. Sidney lives so much
in moral twilight...
Copy !req
970. that when I told him you were coming
here today, he predicted disaster.
Copy !req
971. Said you wouldn't take my favor.
Copy !req
972. He said you'd chew up the job and spit it
right back in my face. Any truth in that?
Copy !req
973. Well, since you bring it up -
Copy !req
974. - No, Mr. Hunsecker.
And now, if I can amplify -
- Don't amplify.
Copy !req
975. Steve would like
to thank you for this favor.
Copy !req
976. You don't listen very good, do you, Frank?
J.J. just said to keep your mouth shut.
Copy !req
977. - Don't you think
it's about time you shut yours?
- I didn't hear you.
Copy !req
978. Who are you to tell
Frank D'Angelo to shut up?
Copy !req
979. Steve, this isn't important.
Copy !req
980. Does he have to be here?
Copy !req
981. Why?
Has he bothered you before?
Copy !req
982. - Is it news to you?
- Son, a lot of people tell me...
Copy !req
983. I'm a very gifted man,
but I still can't see around corners.
Copy !req
984. Now, just what exactly
are you so hot about?
Copy !req
985. I know it's a difficult thing
to be an artist in this crudest...
Copy !req
986. - of all possible worlds -
- Look, I'm not here as an artist.
Copy !req
987. I'm here as an average Joe
who happens to love your sister.
Copy !req
988. Well, just be careful you don't
knock her off her feet, hmm?
Copy !req
989. Stanley, move it to your right a little bit.
Copy !req
990. Now, frankly, son, I lost you on that last hill.
Just give us the punch line.
Copy !req
991. Steve -
Copy !req
992. There's no punch line.
Copy !req
993. Yeah, I was just admiring
your know-how, yours and Falco's.
Copy !req
994. Why do you keep
coupling me with Falco?
Copy !req
995. Why is he here?
Copy !req
996. Tell me, sir: When he dies, do you think
he'll go to the dog-and-cat heaven?
Copy !req
997. Look, let's forget about dogs and cats
and all that pseudo-literary junk.
Copy !req
998. I'm gonna lay it right on the line. What about
that ruckus in my office this afternoon?
Copy !req
999. You were there, Frank, where,
according to St. Dallas here...
Copy !req
1000. J.J. was responsible
for the Elwell smear!
Copy !req
1001. - Don't go wild, Sidney.
- Wild? Take a look at them
and tell me who's wild.
Copy !req
1002. - What about it?
- Steve was overexcited.
He didn't mean -
Copy !req
1003. - J.J., I was -
- Look -
- Quiet, all of you!
Copy !req
1004. Susie, sit down.
This requires investigation.
Copy !req
1005. Well, how did you mean it?
Copy !req
1006. Well, come on, come on.
I'm waiting.
Copy !req
1007. Look, I don't take kindly
to you and Falco teaching me ethics.
Copy !req
1008. Who's the injured party here?
You?
Copy !req
1009. Right now, you have no right to ask
questions, and your snide -
Copy !req
1010. Wait a minute! I haven't handed over
punishing privileges to you yet!
Copy !req
1011. Just lay the whip down.
Maybe I'll respect what you're saying.
Copy !req
1012. - Steve -
- Shut up!
Copy !req
1013. Susie, did you know
about this accusation?
Copy !req
1014. No.
Copy !req
1015. Before you leave, son...
Copy !req
1016. I'll answer your question:
Copy !req
1017. Susan Hunsecker's
the injured party here.
Copy !req
1018. Or perhaps next you'll be telling me
I don't have my sister's welfare at heart.
Copy !req
1019. Mr. Hunsecker, you've got
more twists than a barrel of pretzels.
Copy !req
1020. Did you hear that, Susie?
Copy !req
1021. Continue, please.
Copy !req
1022. Well, I can't cope
with them, that's all.
Copy !req
1023. You're too shrewd for me,
so I'll just be honest.
Copy !req
1024. Susie and I are in love.
We want to get married.
Copy !req
1025. Give him credit.
The boy's gall is gorgeous.
Copy !req
1026. Why don't we hear
what Susie has to say?
Copy !req
1027. That's stout of you, Dallas...
Copy !req
1028. but perhaps Susie may not care
to air her views in public.
Copy !req
1029. Susie?
Copy !req
1030. Susie, as always, is free
to say anything she wants.
Copy !req
1031. Go on, dear.
Say exactly what's on your mind, dear.
Copy !req
1032. - Those "dears" sound like daggers.
Why don't you stop daring her to speak?
- What are you trying to do?
Copy !req
1033. I'm trying to get Susie to stand up to you,
but your manner is so threatening,
she's afraid to speak!
Copy !req
1034. - Son, you raise your voice once more -
- Please, please st-!
Copy !req
1035. - J.J., can't you -
- I'm sorry, Susie.
Copy !req
1036. Well, son, it looks like we may have to call
this game on account of darkness.
Copy !req
1037. If looks could kill,
I'd be dead.
Copy !req
1038. No, I don't care about you.
Copy !req
1039. My whole interest,
if it's not too late, is in Susie...
Copy !req
1040. and how to undo
what you've done to her.
Copy !req
1041. And what have I done to her
except not buy her a new fur coat lately?
Copy !req
1042. You were right, Sidney.
This boy is a dilly!
Copy !req
1043. Why? Because I don't like
the way you toy with people?
Copy !req
1044. Your contempt and malice?
Copy !req
1045. I'm sorry, Frank. You think
about yourself and about your column.
Copy !req
1046. T-To you, you're some kind
of a, a national glory...
Copy !req
1047. but to me and a lot
of people like me...
Copy !req
1048. your slimy scandal
and your phony patriotics -
Copy !req
1049. To me, Mr. Hunsecker,
you're a national disgrace.
Copy !req
1050. Son, I don't relish shooting
mosquitoes with elephant guns.
Copy !req
1051. Suppose you just shuffle along
and call it a day.
Copy !req
1052. But my day with Susie
isn't over yet.
Copy !req
1053. Here's your head.
What's your hurry?
Copy !req
1054. You did it, J.J.
You did it good.
Copy !req
1055. Susie, I'd have to take it
very much amiss...
Copy !req
1056. if you ever saw that boy again.
Copy !req
1057. I'll never see him again.
Copy !req
1058. Mary, call Van Cleve at this number.
Tell him I said he was right.
Copy !req
1059. Those Dallas boys
are not worthy of his club.
Copy !req
1060. - Taxi!
- Susie.
Copy !req
1061. Susie!
Copy !req
1062. Ow!
Copy !req
1063. Mr. Hunsecker, this was to be
delivered to you personally.
Copy !req
1064. - This drink is warm.
- You said you like
to have 'em at the table, sir.
Copy !req
1065. - What are you, a critic?
- I'll change 'em.
- Forget it, forget it.
Copy !req
1066. We're on the verge of a farce,
a real farce.
Copy !req
1067. As I see it, if Susie woulda stood behind
him today, he might've proved a threat.
Copy !req
1068. But since primarily he's wedded to
his work, he's not gonna be able to take it.
Copy !req
1069. Stop tinkering, pal.
That horseradish won't jump a fence.
Copy !req
1070. In brief, J.J., it's all over, because
any hour now, that boy will give her up.
Copy !req
1071. Now, is it a farce, or is it?
Copy !req
1072. Sidney, this syrup
you're giving out with...
Copy !req
1073. you pour over waffles,
not J.J. Hunsecker.
Copy !req
1074. What do you mean,
this lousy kid'll give up my sister?
Copy !req
1075. How does it matter whose sister?
The main thing is that they're through.
Copy !req
1076. I mean that, uh, uh -
Copy !req
1077. Am I supposed to forget
how that kid talked to me today?
Copy !req
1078. J.J., is he worthy of a second glance
from a man like you? I mean that -
Copy !req
1079. Bite on this.
Copy !req
1080. Steamship tickets?
Copy !req
1081. The next sailing of the Mary.
Susie's run down.
Copy !req
1082. That's good.
Copy !req
1083. Now that louse
is outta Susie's hair for good.
Copy !req
1084. I want that boy taken apart.
Copy !req
1085. J.J., why do something...
Copy !req
1086. that's gonna drive them
right back into each other's arms?
Copy !req
1087. I know how to handle Susie.
You just -
Copy !req
1088. You just handle the boy.
Copy !req
1089. Preferably tonight.
Copy !req
1090. What's tomorrow, a holiday?
Copy !req
1091. Your fat cop friend.
Copy !req
1092. I think I'm going home. Maybe I left
my sense of humor in my other suit.
Copy !req
1093. You've got a God-given brain,
Sidney. Use it.
Copy !req
1094. You think this is
a personal thing with me?
Copy !req
1095. Are you telling me I think of this
in terms of personal pique?
Copy !req
1096. Don't you see that today that boy
wiped his feet on the choice...
Copy !req
1097. and the predilections
of 60 million men and women...
Copy !req
1098. in the greatest country
in the world?
Copy !req
1099. If you had any morals yourself,
you'd understand the immorality...
Copy !req
1100. of that boy's stand today.
Copy !req
1101. It wasn't me he criticized.
it was my readers.
Copy !req
1102. Don't remove
the gangplank, Sidney.
Copy !req
1103. You may wanna
get back on board.
Copy !req
1104. J.J., it's one thing
to wear your dog collar.
Copy !req
1105. When it turns into a noose,
I'd rather have my freedom.
Copy !req
1106. The man in jail
is always for freedom.
Copy !req
1107. - Except, if you'll excuse me, J.J.,
I'm not in jail.
- You're in jail, Sidney.
Copy !req
1108. You're a prisoner of your own fears,
your own greed and ambition. You're in jail.
Copy !req
1109. You're blind, Mr. Magoo.
This is the crossroads for me.
Copy !req
1110. I won't get Kello.
Not for a lifetime pass to the Polo Grounds.
Copy !req
1111. Not if you serve me
Cleopatra on a plate.
Copy !req
1112. Sidney, I told you -
Copy !req
1113. J.J., I swear to you on my mother's life,
I wouldn't do that.
Copy !req
1114. Not if you gave me a column
would I do a thing -
Copy !req
1115. And who do you suppose
writes the column...
Copy !req
1116. while Susie and I
are away for three months?
Copy !req
1117. The man on the moon?
Thank you, Sidney.
Copy !req
1118. And Sidney, I'll have
that piece of paper back.
Copy !req
1119. Two cups of coffee.
Copy !req
1120. Steve, I love the way
you stood up to my brother.
Copy !req
1121. Nobody ever did that before.
Copy !req
1122. But it frightened me.
Copy !req
1123. Is that why you walked out?
Copy !req
1124. Yes.
Copy !req
1125. What you say to me -
it's true.
Copy !req
1126. I'm weak.
I can't change.
Copy !req
1127. I gather you're trying
to say good-bye.
Copy !req
1128. Yes.
Copy !req
1129. I came here with half an idea
of saying good-bye...
Copy !req
1130. but I guess I'll hang around...
Copy !req
1131. to plead.
Copy !req
1132. Susie, is this really
what you want?
Copy !req
1133. Yes.
Copy !req
1134. My brother's capable of doing very great
harm, and I can't let that happen. We can't -
Copy !req
1135. - I-I won't give you up.
- We can't see each other again.
Copy !req
1136. Susie, that's fish four days old.
I won't buy it.
Copy !req
1137. Right outta that mouth I love...
Copy !req
1138. like a ventriloquist's dummy
your brother is saying good-bye.
Copy !req
1139. No, Steve.
Copy !req
1140. Please don't.
Copy !req
1141. Please don't.
Copy !req
1142. At least this way I'll know that...
Copy !req
1143. you'll be somewhere in the world,
alive and happy, working.
Copy !req
1144. I won't give you up.
Copy !req
1145. You've got to go.
Copy !req
1146. This coat is your brother.
Copy !req
1147. I've always hated this coat.
Copy !req
1148. Good-bye, Mr. D'Angelo.
Take care of Steve.
Copy !req
1149. Say something funny,
Mr. Hasenpfeffer.
Copy !req
1150. Look back and see
if she's still standing there.
Copy !req
1151. She's still standing there.
Copy !req
1152. I'll have a straight Coke.
Copy !req
1153. Excuse me, excuse me.
Copy !req
1154. Excuse me, Joe.
Steve don't feel too good.
Copy !req
1155. Ah, I'm sorry to hear that.
Copy !req
1156. So if you don't mind,
he'd like to leave after this set.
Copy !req
1157. I like that boy, Frank.
Copy !req
1158. - Anything he wants to do is okay with me.
- Thanks.
Copy !req
1159. Hey, Mr. Falco.
Copy !req
1160. I hate to give you
the satisfaction...
Copy !req
1161. but they broke it off
tonight for good.
Copy !req
1162. Tell that to Hunsecker.
Copy !req
1163. Tell him we agree: He's a big man.
He wins all the marbles.
Copy !req
1164. What's all the rush?
I thought you said 3:00.
Copy !req
1165. He's, um, he's leaving early.
Right after this set.
Copy !req
1166. It's nice, Sidney,
your givin' me this tip.
Copy !req
1167. - He's got 'em on him.
- And he's got 'em on him.
Copy !req
1168. I appreciate a thing like this.
Copy !req
1169. And I appreciate where you're
looking out for the virtue of this city.
Copy !req
1170. - What's your hurry, snooks?
- Let go of me, Kello.
Copy !req
1171. Hey, Murph,
how do you like this face?
Copy !req
1172. Well, I'll be doggoned.
it's melting.
Copy !req
1173. Something got ya scared, Sidney?
Copy !req
1174. Listen, rectify me a certain thing.
Copy !req
1175. Weren't you kiddin', snooks,
when you told J.J. I was fat?
Copy !req
1176. Rest in peace, Kello. You're skinny.
But J.J. says you sweat.
Copy !req
1177. Is that a fact?
Copy !req
1178. He's a dilly, ain't he?
Copy !req
1179. I get the distinct impression, snooks,
that you don't like me. Could I be wrong?
Copy !req
1180. Ya could be right, ya fat slob.
Copy !req
1181. Come back, Sidney.
Copy !req
1182. I wanna chastise you.
Copy !req
1183. Thank you very much.
Copy !req
1184. Hey, fella.
Copy !req
1185. Go! Go, go, go!
Copy !req
1186. I'd like to propose the toast.
What do you say?
Copy !req
1187. - Scotch.
- Scotch.
Copy !req
1188. - Three scotches,
one vodka and orange juice...
- Sidney.
Copy !req
1189. - and an old-fashioned.
- Sidney, there's a phone call for you.
Copy !req
1190. Lou, I told you
I'm not takin' any calls, right?
Copy !req
1191. - I don't care who calls - no calls!
- All right, Sidney.
Copy !req
1192. - I still wanna make a toast.
- I'm buyin' the booze,
so I'm makin' a toast.
Copy !req
1193. - Okay!
- Here's to the thing we always dream about.
Copy !req
1194. It makes you cool in the summertime,
keeps you hot in the wintertime -
Copy !req
1195. - Hey, how you been?
- Sidney.
Copy !req
1196. Hello, Charlie. How are you?
Copy !req
1197. Herbie Temple, remember?
The funniest man in town.
Copy !req
1198. Gentlemen, I'm toasting
my favorite new perfume.
Copy !req
1199. - Success.
- Hey, hey!
Copy !req
1200. Sorry, kid. She said it was important.
The operator at "21 " took the message.
Copy !req
1201. Lou, I'm not taking any messages
unless it's J.J. Hunsecker.
Copy !req
1202. That's who it is. He wants you
to come over to his house right away.
Copy !req
1203. Gentlemen, duty calls.
The best of friends must part, right?
Copy !req
1204. Sidney, Al and I talked it over,
and we want you to handle our account.
Copy !req
1205. One of you guys want
a bread-and-butter account?
You act like I was lookin' for you.
Copy !req
1206. Why don't you take me along?
Maybe I'll rub his back for you, huh?
Copy !req
1207. J.J.?
Copy !req
1208. J.J.?
Copy !req
1209. Susie?
Copy !req
1210. Susie?
Copy !req
1211. Uh...
Copy !req
1212. w-what- what are ya -
Copy !req
1213. what are ya doing out there
this time of the night? Uh -
Copy !req
1214. The, uh, the door was opened.
Copy !req
1215. - Where's J.J.?
- He isn't here.
Copy !req
1216. - Well, I got a message to come over.
- Did you?
Copy !req
1217. - Well, if he isn't here, I -
- Mr. D'Angelo phoned.
Copy !req
1218. - Yeah?
- About Steve.
Copy !req
1219. I went down -
Copy !req
1220. I went down to the hospital,
but they wouldn't let me in.
Copy !req
1221. It's all over town about Dallas.
Copy !req
1222. How is he?
Copy !req
1223. They wouldn't let me in.
Copy !req
1224. But I gave Steve up.
Copy !req
1225. Why did you and J.J. do it?
Copy !req
1226. What are you talking about?
Who gives you the right to talk like that?
Copy !req
1227. Don't bother to lie, Sidney.
Copy !req
1228. I don't care anymore.
Copy !req
1229. Look, Susie, you're very upset,
so I'm not gonna argue with ya.
Copy !req
1230. Feeling sorry for yourself
is not gonna help.
Copy !req
1231. Why don't you go to bed
and get a good night's sleep, huh?
Copy !req
1232. I'm sorry about Steve,
not myself.
Copy !req
1233. I'm sorry about my brother.
Copy !req
1234. And I'm sorry
about you too, Sidney...
Copy !req
1235. - because you're going down with the ship.
- What ship?
Copy !req
1236. This ship.
Copy !req
1237. Don't you know how my brother's
gonna see you after tonight?
Copy !req
1238. You're gonna be the man who...
Copy !req
1239. drove his beloved
little sister to suicide.
Copy !req
1240. You know, Susie,
I've heard this woman-talk before.
Copy !req
1241. Why don't ya start
growin' up, huh?
Copy !req
1242. Start thinking with your head
instead of your hips.
Copy !req
1243. Uh, by the way...
Copy !req
1244. I got nothing against women thinking
with their hips. That's their nature.
Copy !req
1245. Just like it's a man's nature to go out
and hustle and get the things he wants.
Copy !req
1246. Susie, look at yourself.
You're 19 years old.
Copy !req
1247. Just a kid, and you're
falling apart at the seams.
Copy !req
1248. You tiptoe around on those bird legs
of yours, nervous and incompetent...
Copy !req
1249. with a fatality for doing wrong,
picking wrong...
Copy !req
1250. and giving up
even before you start a fight!
Copy !req
1251. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
1252. It's the truth,
and the truth hurts.
Copy !req
1253. Come around some night
when I'm not writin' your brother's column...
Copy !req
1254. and I'll revise
that delicate outlook of life.
Copy !req
1255. To give credit
where credit is due, Susie...
Copy !req
1256. that body of yours deserves a better fate
than tumbling off some terrace.
Copy !req
1257. Susie...
Copy !req
1258. a bed is the best friend
a girl ever had.
Copy !req
1259. Pleasant dreams.
Copy !req
1260. Hey, now, don't be no square.
Don't do anything stupid.
Copy !req
1261. Susie?
Copy !req
1262. Susie?
Copy !req
1263. Su- Susie!
Copy !req
1264. Are you crazy?
Are you outta your mind?
Copy !req
1265. What do you think your brother would say
if I told him you tried a thing like that?
Copy !req
1266. - I'll get you a drink.
- No! Go away!
Copy !req
1267. Susie, look, I-I'm sorry.
Copy !req
1268. - if I said anything or did anything...
- Get out of here!
Copy !req
1269. I did -
Copy !req
1270. It's all right, Susie. I'm here.
Copy !req
1271. Take it easy, dear.
Copy !req
1272. - J.J., Susie wasn't feeling -
- Calm yourself, dear. Now, don't worry.
Copy !req
1273. Put this on, Susie.
Copy !req
1274. J.J., it's lucky I came right over
after I got your message.
Copy !req
1275. I got here
as quickly as I could, but -
Copy !req
1276. What message?
Copy !req
1277. Well? What message?
Copy !req
1278. Well... be that as it may,
someone called me -
Copy !req
1279. It's just lucky I got your message
and came over here in time.
Copy !req
1280. Why?
Copy !req
1281. J.J., Susie was so depressed
she tried to kill herself.
Copy !req
1282. Depressed?
Copy !req
1283. About what?
Copy !req
1284. 'Cause she heard
the news about Dallas.
Copy !req
1285. What news about Dallas?
Copy !req
1286. Oh, uh, I took it for granted, J.J.,
that you heard about it around town.
Copy !req
1287. You're not gonna like this, but they, uh,
they picked him up on a marijuana rap.
Copy !req
1288. And is that why
you put your hands...
Copy !req
1289. on my sister?
Copy !req
1290. J.J., please.
Copy !req
1291. Susie tried to throw herself
off the terrace.
Copy !req
1292. Susie, tell him the truth!
Copy !req
1293. Tell him!
Copy !req
1294. J.J., please.
Look, I can explain.
Copy !req
1295. J.J.!
Copy !req
1296. Stop!
Copy !req
1297. - Stop.
- You defending your sister, ya big phony?
Copy !req
1298. Didn't you tell me to get Kello?
Didn't you -
Copy !req
1299. Susie, just as I know he's lying
about your attempted suicide...
Copy !req
1300. you know
he's lying about me.
Copy !req
1301. But we can't leave it
like this, can we?
Copy !req
1302. I suggest
you go to bed, dear.
Copy !req
1303. You're growing up.
Copy !req
1304. Cute.
Copy !req
1305. Sergeant? This is J.J. Hunsecker.
Let me talk to Lieutenant Kello.
Copy !req
1306. Harry? Sorry to bother you, kid,
but a bad mistake has been made.
Copy !req
1307. J.J., you've got such contempt
for people, it makes you stupid.
Copy !req
1308. You didn't beat those kids.
You've lost her. You'll never get her back.
Copy !req
1309. Harry, Sidney Falco
planted that stuff on Dallas.
Copy !req
1310. Jealousy.
Copy !req
1311. Behind my back
he was trying to make my sister.
Copy !req
1312. That fat cop can break my bones, but
he'll never stop me from telling what I know.
Copy !req
1313. He's leaving right now.
Copy !req
1314. Where do you think
you're going?
Copy !req
1315. I'm leaving.
I'm going to Steve.
Copy !req
1316. No, you're not. You're going
into the hands of a good psychoanalyst.
Copy !req
1317. You tried to kill yourself tonight!
Copy !req
1318. Yes.
Copy !req
1319. I'd rather be dead
than living with you.
Copy !req
1320. For all the things
you've done, J.J...
Copy !req
1321. I-I know I should hate you.
Copy !req
1322. But I don't.
I pity you.
Copy !req