1. Once you've caught the wave,
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2. it doesn't matter how you approach it,
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3. as long as it's fast and effective.
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4. But remember to always
lead with the blade.
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5. Goofy-footers are an inferior breed.
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6. Real surfers lead with
their left foot forward.
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7. Now, where are the biggest
waves in the world found?
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8. Waikiki?
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9. Waimea Bay.
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10. Correct.
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11. Who rules the beaches?
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12. Surfers rule!
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13. Who rules the surfers?
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14. Surf Nazis!
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15. Surf Nazis!
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16. This is not a test.
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17. Repeat, this is not a test.
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18. This is an emergency.
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19. Keep your radio tuned to this
frequency for further details.
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20. This is not a test.
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21. Repeat, this.
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22. This is Charles Moran with the BBS News.
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23. The situation here is catastrophic.
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24. The earthquake that hit the
Greater Los Angeles area
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25. just four days ago
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26. measured an incredible
8.6 on the Richter scale.
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27. It left upwards of 80,000
citizens known to be dead.
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28. Countess homeless survivors
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29. are being forced to
find shelter elsewhere.
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30. Police are hopeless.
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31. Don't look, Mama.
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32. Did ya get the wax made
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33. Yep-
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34. They are store pigs all over.
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35. Get on.
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36. Mengele was in there earlier.
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37. Doin' what?
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38. Copped a switchblade.
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39. Mengele's an asshole, remember that.
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40. Adolf!
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41. Adolf.
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42. Eva.
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43. I'm Nurse Withers,
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44. welcome to the Stardust Retirement Home.
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45. Ya must be Eleanor.
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46. Mrs. Washington to you,
honey, and I ain't deaf.
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47. Follow me, please.
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48. Come on!
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49. Mengele, I haven't got all fuckin' day.
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50. How many times have I told you?
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51. You can't rush art.
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52. Art fart, let's go.
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53. It's kinda big, isn't it?
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54. Yeah, but it'll make a real nice gash.
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55. There, how's it feel?
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56. The most horrifying
side effect of the quake
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57. has been meteoric rise
of gang-related crime.
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58. A certain sick minority
is using the suffering
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59. to further their own twisted purpose.
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60. With the police force
stretched beyond its limits
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61. keeping law and order in the city,
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62. residents of the beach communities
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63. are advised not to venture out on.
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64. Critical areas that divide, largely intact
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65. are feeling the effects.
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66. There is no protection,
there is no police help.
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67. A wave of crime is sweeping
unchecked in the South Bay.
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68. One word describes the state
of the beaches, anarchy.
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69. This is Charles.
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70. Mornin', Mr. Washington.
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71. Let you in this gate, sir.
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72. What's this I hear
about trouble down here.
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73. Nazis, sir.
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74. Nazis?
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75. Surf Nazis.
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76. Adolf, aw man, we had a great afternoon.
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77. Look at this stuff.
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78. A whole city block was in ruins,
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79. just like one big shopping mall.
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80. Aw, it's great.
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81. Aw man, I feel so good.
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82. I got some drill bits,
and we got some, um...
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83. Any money?
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84. No.
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85. What do you mean, man,
this is money in the bank.
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86. Why don't you have some of the Nazi Youth
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87. have a garage sale or something, this is...
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88. How are we supposed to live?
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89. Man, I just, like, procure this stuff.
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90. Like, I don't...
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91. Cut down on your rations some.
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92. You know, you need to lead
more Spartan life anyway.
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93. You know, you're beautiful
when you're angry, Adolf.
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94. Hey Brutus, surf's up!
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95. Yoo hoo!
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96. Yoo hoo, Eleanor.
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97. Eleanor, Eleanor?
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98. Come in?
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99. Hi, your son forgot to give you these,
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100. but remember, there is no
gambling 'cause it isn't nice.
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101. Five card stud, we gonna have some fun.
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102. We are still receiving reports
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103. on how much damage has been...
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104. Nice to have a little sport.
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105. Stay tuned
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106. to emergency programs...
Ooh!
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107. Can we have a little fresh air?
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108. Gotta put some life in you bitches.
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109. I had my bag stolen at the beach.
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110. She only put it down
for a second and swoosh!
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111. Probably one of those beachy gangs.
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112. I'll go for a sawbuck.
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113. Large areas...
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114. 10 and raise ya 'IO.
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115. Which beach?
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116. Power Beach.
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117. I am the Fuhrer of the New Beach.
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118. It's well worth taking full control now.
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119. I could go for that.
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120. Yeah.
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121. Shit, Christ!
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122. Screw the meeting.
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123. Let's just put hole in 'em, huh?
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124. I mean,
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125. why don't we cut the campfire girl shit?
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126. Hook, get up on your feet.
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127. Beaches are carrying a lot
more than umbrellas these days.
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128. Do you leave your valuables at home?
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129. There's anarchy out there.
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130. Yeah.
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131. Very big business.
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132. We could make a real killing.
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133. And we'll nail the
scum the way I say it.
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134. Got it, Mengele?
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135. Do it quick and we'll do it clean.
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136. They won't know what hit them.
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137. We'll save your open
spleen surgery for parties.
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138. So, when's the call?
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139. Tomorrow.
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140. Eva and I have already
sent the invitations.
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141. RSVP in blood for all
those who don't show.
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142. Glad you could slime in, sewer pipe.
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143. Where's your faggot boyfriend?
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144. He'll be along shortly.
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145. What's this all about, kraut?
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146. Sand.
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147. We're not getting the most out of it.
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148. I now the coast in my bones,
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149. and its potential has never been greater,
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150. but we need to work together.
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151. My way.
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152. Nazi battleships will be
patrolling the whole coast soon.
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153. Forget about individual colors.
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154. Forget about gang territory.
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155. We need to centralize power.
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156. We need to pull together under
the sign of the swastika.
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157. Adolf, no!
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158. You couldn't handle the power!
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159. Anymore heroes?
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160. She hasn't been adjusted.
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161. I mean, she's not adjusting well.
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162. Well, just sedate her
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163. like you sedate all the other guests.
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164. It's not that easy.
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165. Look, you know the system.
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166. Valium in her coffee,
Percodan in her eggs.
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167. She won't drink our coffee,
she won't touch our food.
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168. She's not even happy with
the view from her window.
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169. Art.
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170. Try something quieter, drugs maybe.
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171. Come here.
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172. This is real beauty.
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173. Looks perfectly normal.
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174. Switchboard.
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175. Surf to live, live to surf!
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176. Surf to live, live to surf!
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177. Surf to live, live to surf!
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178. Brothers.
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179. Yeah.
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180. 10, 30.
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181. 40, 50.
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182. Well, well, well.
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183. If it isn't the candy man himself.
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184. What will it be?
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185. The usual, baby.
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186. Oh, the usual?
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187. Hey, when you gonna take me on a ride
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188. on your hot rod, huh Wheels?
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189. Soon.
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190. Soon, huh?
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191. Listen, bitch, you lay
one finger on my man again,
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192. and I'll cut those pretty
little titties right off.
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193. Thought you
was at home with the kids.
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194. Huh, not bad, Wheels, not bad at all.
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195. Your old man at the
gay bar today?
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196. That's right, Wheels.
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197. The old lady got the cash?
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198. The shipment was short.
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199. I'm real sorry to hear that.
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200. - Listen bitch...
- Hey!
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201. Back off!
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202. Sit down.
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203. Spill, motherfucker!
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204. We were delivered
a half a key short.
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205. That ain't short, Wheels.
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206. That's somebody else's white Christmas.
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207. We ain't caterin' no parties.
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208. It's the city heat, they're too greedy.
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209. They show 'em how to diet.
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210. I'll take what ya got.
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211. More Franklins by Monday, got it?
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212. Shithead.
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213. Adolf's got you well-trained.
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214. That's right, I'm his personal bitch,
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215. and you'd do well to consider
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216. a more competent cunt for yourself.
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217. What, no one wants to slam dance?
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218. Nice goin', Eva babe.
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219. All they understand is force.
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220. Freudian psychology, actually.
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221. All little boys wanna be charminated.
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222. Not all little boys, Mengele.
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223. At least I don't have
your case of penis envy.
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224. Come on, vermin, let's go.
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225. Samurai surfers.
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226. Ding 'em up!
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227. All right!
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228. No, no Adolf, no, not here!
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229. Who the hell do you think you
are attempting my wave, huh?
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230. Ha, motherfucker!
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231. Oh.
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232. What seems to be the problem.
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233. No problem.
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234. Come.
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235. - Ha ha!
- Hey,
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236. thanks for the surfboards.
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237. I knew you weren't shit!
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238. Come on, Samurai man!
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239. Come back again
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240. anytime you wanna get
your ass whipped, man!
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241. Hey, thanks a lot!
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242. You try to have some
mercy on these folks here.
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243. Only the good Lord shows mercy, son.
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244. You too big to kiss your mama goodbye?
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245. Goin' swimmin'?
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246. Yeah, it was great yesterday.
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247. Stop him!
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248. He's 90'! My purse!
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249. Let me take that from
you, little bastard.
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250. Give it here.
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251. Oh, thank god you were jogging by.
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252. You are a wicked little boy.
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253. Share the gold, bitch.
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254. Problem, folks?
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255. It's none of your business.
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256. My little friend here gets
a bit overeager at times.
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257. It's the cause, you understand.
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258. No, I don't understand it.
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259. If the police were here, you
wouldn't even be on this...
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260. But they're not.
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261. Now, run along.
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262. Adolf.
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263. Leroy.
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264. Don't I know you?
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265. Why should you?
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266. I don't know.
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267. You look kind of like a
white man I used to know.
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268. Except you fell down the chimney.
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269. Hey Leroy.
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270. Your mama is callin' you, man!
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271. Is this your son?
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272. Yes.
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273. Can I get ya something?
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274. No.
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275. I just wanna be alone.
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276. Why, Jesus?
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277. Why?
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278. He's all I had left in the world.
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279. Please God,
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280. tell me who did this.
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281. That hook made quite a mess.
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282. Of course it did, that's what hooks do.
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283. You think there's room in this world
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284. for a squeamish conqueror?
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285. So fuckin' noble, Brutus.
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286. Don't you ever say that again!
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287. Listen!
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288. It's a do-good beachy.
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289. What are you guys fightin'
about anyway, huh?
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290. Who the hell's gonna
miss one goddamn nigger.
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291. Now's the time to look ahead, to plot,
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292. and remember who our leader is.
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293. So, what's our next move, Eva?
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294. Shut the fuck up, Mengele.
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295. Mengele!
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296. Mengele!
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297. I want to talk to you!
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298. I said, I wanna talk to you!
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299. All you ever wanna do is talk.
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300. All you ever wanna do
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301. is yakety, yakety, yakety, yakety, yak,
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302. and you never wanna fuckin' listen, man!
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303. That's not true!
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304. It is true, it is!
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305. This whole operation is
fallin' apart before you,
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306. and then you can't even see it
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307. for the pubic hair in your eyes.
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308. Shut up!
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309. No, where are
they, man, I'll prove it to ya!
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310. You wear their fuckin' sign!
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311. What, god, from where
you're pussy whipped!
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312. You are created in me.
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313. Goddamn straight I am!
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314. Do you who Mengele was, man?
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315. Do you know?
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316. The fucking exterminating angel!
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317. He's all I had left.
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318. Such a horrible shock, dear.
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319. Just like the quake.
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320. Gregory.
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321. Take that wetsuit off.
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322. No way, Adolf is expecting me.
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323. Adolf?
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324. Good god, Gregory, is that what that
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325. snotty Ricky Johnson calls himself now.
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326. Mom.
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327. And what are we gonna
learn today, Gregory?
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328. Don't call me Gregory!
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329. How to assassinate your parents?
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330. You're not going back to them.
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331. They're cool.
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332. They're the gnarliest gang around, Mom.
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333. Yeah, right.
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334. And don't call me Mom!
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335. What?
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336. It's reverse psychology.
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337. I asked Dr. Sniff all
about how to deal with you
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338. and your nee-Nam crap.
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339. You know what he said to me?
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340. You know what he said?
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341. He said you have suppressed
hatred for your father and me.
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342. I don't hate you.
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343. Oh, yes you do, Gregory.
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344. Like, I just wanna live my life my way.
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345. Okay, Smegg, I got a flash for you.
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346. Go live your life!
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347. See ya later.
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348. Oh, can I borrow a couple bucks.
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349. Oh, god.
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350. And don't be late for dinner!
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351. Which has been inflicted
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352. by the residual aftershocks of the quake.
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353. Stinking walking Sly.
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354. How goes it?
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355. Adolf, how nice.
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356. What can I do for you?
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357. I need better prices, Sly.
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358. And the media were...
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359. I can't give you better prices.
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360. Try.
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361. I can't, I'm flat on the floor.
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362. I bring you a ton
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363. of easily re-sellable
merchandise every day.
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364. I know it's in demand, Sly.
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365. I urge the public...
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366. I take it from the consumer.
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367. This is not the...
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368. Just offload it faster.
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369. Time is in
traffic, even before...
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370. It just doesn't work like that.
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371. Then lower bottom end.
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372. Why, I was an economics major.
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373. Don't fuck with me.
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374. This is not
the end of the world.
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375. We'll survive this disaster if
we work toward law and order.
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376. What do you think, Sly.
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377. Oh, it looks good.
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378. Thank you.
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379. Hey, that's only a buck.
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380. That's solid gold, it's 100 bucks!
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381. Gang-related crime.
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382. I'm tellin' ya, we're the
hottest gang on the beach.
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383. Surfers rule the waves,
the Nazis rule the surfers.
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384. You're still an asshole, Smegg.
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385. Yeah, I like the Pipeliners.
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386. Ugh, screw the Pipeliners.
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387. They're history.
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388. Nobody thinks the Nazis can rule.
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389. Well, nah, nah, well,
you better believe it.
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390. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't, huh?
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391. There was a nigger who
tried to stop the Nazi wave.
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392. He ain't around no more.
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393. Keep talkin' white trash!
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394. Dog fucking bastards!
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395. Fuckin' nerve.
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396. The slicer, the switchboard, fuck!
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397. It's your fault!
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398. You dizzy bitch!
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399. The beautiful birds are barbecued
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400. because you can't stay in one place
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401. for five fuckin' minutes.
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402. Slime-sucking neanderthal!
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403. How dare you question my loyalty?
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404. Shut the fuck up, both of you!
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405. Fuck!
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406. Save that shit for them!
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407. Tomorrow, we strike!
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408. No one fucks with the Nazis!
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409. Larry, Larry!
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410. Who did this to you?
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411. Larry, Larry, who the
hell done this to ya?
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412. Nazis!
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413. Hey Jesus, where do
you think you're goin'?
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414. I'm surfin', brother.
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415. Nobody surfs here but the Nazis.
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416. New orders from Adolf.
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417. I don't know any Adolf.
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418. Fuck.
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419. Day at the beach, boys!
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420. There's no room for
Jesus on the New Beach,
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421. and it's our final solution, brother.
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422. Good you could make it.
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423. Are you kidding?
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424. The situation is totally
fucking unacceptable.
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425. I guess you heard they rumbled
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426. Jake and Rabbit yesterday, huh?
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427. More bad news, I guess.
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428. They're moving in on Power Beach.
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429. What?
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430. Since when?
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431. Since dawn.
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432. That's ours, man, that
ain't Nazi territory.
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433. Oh, that's real bright, Mex.
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434. Except you're forgettin'
one important thing, man.
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435. The quake, the quake changed all that.
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436. Adolf plays by a whole new
set of rules, hardcore.
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437. He plays dirty-
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438. Naw, naw, I think it's time
that we stop playin' around.
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439. And fuck somebody up.
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440. We need a plan.
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441. Trading it in for another one.
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442. Aw man, that hook was you.
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443. It's a piece of shit.
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444. Well, then try this.
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445. Oh, that's great.
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446. Here.
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447. Come here!
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448. How's that'?
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449. Could try it out.
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450. Afternoon, help you, ma'am?
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451. We got pipes here, we got tobacco here,
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452. all kinda smokin' accessories.
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453. We got everything you might want.
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454. We got incense burners, we got clay pipes,
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455. we got glass pipes, freshly
city blends, tobacco.
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456. Anything you want ma'am.
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457. What can I help you with?
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458. I wanna buy a gun.
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459. Yes, ma'am.
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460. Got this here, ladies'
Saturday night special.
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461. A ladies' gun?
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462. It's small, ma'am.
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463. It's easy to carry, perfect for a woman.
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464. Well, that's real nice, dear,
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465. but I'm more interested in something
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466. that'll take the head
off a honky at 20 paces!
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467. You mean business, don't you, ma'am?
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468. I'll be right back.
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469. Got this here Walther, P38.
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470. That'll take more than
his head off, ma'am.
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471. It'll take his whole upper body off.
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472. I'll take it, how much?
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473. Just 129.95.
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474. I'll throw in a box of ammunition, ma'am.
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475. I'll give ya any set of pipes you want.
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476. I'll give you anything
want, ma'am, with that.
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477. You look like a woman who
knows what she wants, ma'am.
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478. I can get ya shotguns, I can get ya mace.
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479. Hell, I can get ya grenades.
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480. Grenades?
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481. Yo Rats"
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482. Seek, little Rats.
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483. Hey man, we ain't the Rats no more.
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484. Oh really?
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485. Yeah.
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486. Now, we're the Earth Surfers,
riders of the hard wave.
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487. Pretty radical, huh?
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488. You're still the ears
of the New Beach, I hope.
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489. Sure.
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490. Good, any noise?
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491. You'll need new t-shirts.
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492. Something's
gonna go down real soon.
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493. Goodnight, honey.
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494. Dear Adolf,
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495. there's some gnarly
trouble comin' your way.
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496. I can't tell ya to your face
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497. 'cause I'm afraid you might
hurt me, but please be careful.
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498. Smegg-
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499. Hold it, Smegg.
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500. Where the hell you think you're goin'?
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501. Huh?
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502. Out to check the midnight swell.
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503. Really?
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504. Yeah.
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505. Really?
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506. What's this?
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507. I thought we got rid
of all this Adolf crap.
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508. Huh, huh?
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509. Oh geez, Smegg, I've had it with you.
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510. Come on, now get it, go on!
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511. Jesus.
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512. Do I have to put bars on this window?
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513. Here.
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514. Now's not the time.
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515. Oh, don't be ridiculous, Brutus.
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516. There's never been a better time.
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517. When do we proceed?
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518. Shit!
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519. Man, Hook came outta nowhere!
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520. Thought we fuckin' had him, god!
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521. Wait, we'll take him at the bunker.
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522. Let's go.
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523. Let's go tear up the Designer Waves.
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524. Time to die.
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525. Hey!
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526. Aw shit!
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527. Fuckin' A, man!
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528. Yeah!
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529. Ow.
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530. Shit.
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531. Ow!
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532. Ow, take it easy!
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533. You know I can't fuckin' understand
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534. why the Pipeliners were a no show.
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535. I can, they always had the
smell of chicken shit on them.
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536. I need a beer.
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537. Yeah, get me one, would ya?
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538. Come on!
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539. Ow!
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540. I'm sure the acid's
done its work, let's go.
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541. Go!
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542. My pleasure.
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543. Shit, Mex.
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544. You're outnumbered now,
Nazi, two against one.
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545. Sewer Pipe!
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546. It's about fuckin' time, Adolf.
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547. Adolf!
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548. Oh, Adolf!
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549. Adolf, I'm blind!
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550. You're useless
to me now, Brutus.
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551. What was your worst moment ever, Hook?
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552. Probably about the
time between when the,
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553. the shark got my hand
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554. and I got the shark.
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555. Mengele?
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556. Ah, they're all bad, man.
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557. We'll bury Brutus in the morning.
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558. Jesus!
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559. Go in there!
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560. My neck, my neck!
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561. Mengele!
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562. Goddamn it.
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563. Mengele.
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564. Mengele.
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565. Adolf, the bike!
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566. Come on!
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567. The bike!
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568. It must be one of those bikers.
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569. Come on, hurry up!
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570. Shit.
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571. Eleanor, I demand that
you stop this at once.
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572. You are upsetting the other guests,
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573. and I will not, will not
stand for this any longer.
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574. Do you understand me?
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575. All right, you wanted a
showdown between us, old lady,
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576. well, you got one.
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577. Everything I held dear in my life
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578. has crumbled to pieces
in less than a month.
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579. I've been pushed too far.
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580. I got nothin' left but payback.
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581. You mess with me and
you're dead meat, Withers!
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582. There's the bike!
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583. I want that old bitch!
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584. I said it and I meant it, I quit!
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585. Punk Nazis!
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586. You need some Valium, Nursey.
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587. Damn, dead end,
let's ditch the bike here.
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588. Let's get the hell outta here!
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589. I know it was you, Adolf!
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590. I've been watchin'.
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591. You can only push so much.
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592. I can only take so much.
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593. I'm your worst fuckin'
nightmare, ya hear me?
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594. Think Adolf.
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595. Why do you suppose
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596. your little blonde boy quit comin' around?
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597. Remember the boy, huh?
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598. Remember the grenade?
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599. Remember me?
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600. Remember my son, Leroy?
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601. Think hard, Adolf.
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602. All that weird shit that's
been happenin' to you lately,
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603. I'm the one who's been makin' it happen.
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604. Come on.
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605. Show yourself.
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606. Come to Mama.
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607. I got somethin' for ya.
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608. That's right.
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609. It's called payback!
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610. Come on.
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611. You hear me?
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612. You hear me in there?
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613. Great waves.
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614. Hey, dude!
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615. Ooh, y'all look a mess.
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616. Surf Nazis do this?
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617. Yeah.
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618. Which way they go?
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619. Fishin' ain't no good
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620. and neither are the goddamn hot dogs.
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621. What do you say we take
the boat out on the harbor,
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622. try our luck out there?
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623. Today's your lucky day, sucker.
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624. You and me are goin'
trollin' for some surfers.
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625. Oh, hot damn!
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626. There he is.
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627. Gotcha!
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628. Taste some of Mama's home cookin', Adolf!
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