- 1. Once you've caught the wave,
- 2. it doesn't matter how you approach it,
- 3. as long as it's fast and effective.
- 4. But remember to always
lead with the blade.
- 5. Goofy-footers are an inferior breed.
- 6. Real surfers lead with
their left foot forward.
- 7. Now, where are the biggest
waves in the world found?
- 8. Waikiki?
- 9. Waimea Bay.
- 10. Correct.
- 11. Who rules the beaches?
- 12. Surfers rule!
- 13. Who rules the surfers?
- 14. Surf Nazis!
- 15. Surf Nazis!
- 16. This is not a test.
- 17. Repeat, this is not a test.
- 18. This is an emergency.
- 19. Keep your radio tuned to this
frequency for further details.
- 20. This is not a test.
- 21. Repeat, this.
- 22. This is Charles Moran with the BBS News.
- 23. The situation here is catastrophic.
- 24. The earthquake that hit the
Greater Los Angeles area
- 25. just four days ago
- 26. measured an incredible
8.6 on the Richter scale.
- 27. It left upwards of 80,000
citizens known to be dead.
- 28. Countess homeless survivors
- 29. are being forced to
find shelter elsewhere.
- 30. Police are hopeless.
- 31. Don't look, Mama.
- 32. Did ya get the wax made
- 33. Yep-
- 34. They are store pigs all over.
- 35. Get on.
- 36. Mengele was in there earlier.
- 37. Doin' what?
- 38. Copped a switchblade.
- 39. Mengele's an asshole, remember that.
- 40. Adolf!
- 41. Adolf.
- 42. Eva.
- 43. I'm Nurse Withers,
- 44. welcome to the Stardust Retirement Home.
- 45. Ya must be Eleanor.
- 46. Mrs. Washington to you,
honey, and I ain't deaf.
- 47. Follow me, please.
- 48. Come on!
- 49. Mengele, I haven't got all fuckin' day.
- 50. How many times have I told you?
- 51. You can't rush art.
- 52. Art fart, let's go.
- 53. It's kinda big, isn't it?
- 54. Yeah, but it'll make a real nice gash.
- 55. There, how's it feel?
- 56. The most horrifying
side effect of the quake
- 57. has been meteoric rise
of gang-related crime.
- 58. A certain sick minority
is using the suffering
- 59. to further their own twisted purpose.
- 60. With the police force
stretched beyond its limits
- 61. keeping law and order in the city,
- 62. residents of the beach communities
- 63. are advised not to venture out on.
- 64. Critical areas that divide, largely intact
- 65. are feeling the effects.
- 66. There is no protection,
there is no police help.
- 67. A wave of crime is sweeping
unchecked in the South Bay.
- 68. One word describes the state
of the beaches, anarchy.
- 69. This is Charles.
- 70. Mornin', Mr. Washington.
- 71. Let you in this gate, sir.
- 72. What's this I hear
about trouble down here.
- 73. Nazis, sir.
- 74. Nazis?
- 75. Surf Nazis.
- 76. Adolf, aw man, we had a great afternoon.
- 77. Look at this stuff.
- 78. A whole city block was in ruins,
- 79. just like one big shopping mall.
- 80. Aw, it's great.
- 81. Aw man, I feel so good.
- 82. I got some drill bits,
and we got some, um...
- 83. Any money?
- 84. No.
- 85. What do you mean, man,
this is money in the bank.
- 86. Why don't you have some of the Nazi Youth
- 87. have a garage sale or something, this is...
- 88. How are we supposed to live?
- 89. Man, I just, like, procure this stuff.
- 90. Like, I don't...
- 91. Cut down on your rations some.
- 92. You know, you need to lead
more Spartan life anyway.
- 93. You know, you're beautiful
when you're angry, Adolf.
- 94. Hey Brutus, surf's up!
- 95. Yoo hoo!
- 96. Yoo hoo, Eleanor.
- 97. Eleanor, Eleanor?
- 98. Come in?
- 99. Hi, your son forgot to give you these,
- 100. but remember, there is no
gambling 'cause it isn't nice.
- 101. Five card stud, we gonna have some fun.
- 102. We are still receiving reports
- 103. on how much damage has been...
- 104. Nice to have a little sport.
- 105. Stay tuned
- 106. to emergency programs...
- 107. Can we have a little fresh air?
- 108. Gotta put some life in you bitches.
- 109. I had my bag stolen at the beach.
- 110. She only put it down
for a second and swoosh!
- 111. Probably one of those beachy gangs.
- 112. I'll go for a sawbuck.
- 113. Large areas...
- 114. 10 and raise ya 'IO.
- 115. Which beach?
- 116. Power Beach.
- 117. I am the Fuhrer of the New Beach.
- 118. It's well worth taking full control now.
- 119. I could go for that.
- 120. Yeah.
- 121. Shit, Christ!
- 122. Screw the meeting.
- 123. Let's just put hole in 'em, huh?
- 124. I mean,
- 125. why don't we cut the campfire girl shit?
- 126. Hook, get up on your feet.
- 127. Beaches are carrying a lot
more than umbrellas these days.
- 128. Do you leave your valuables at home?
- 129. There's anarchy out there.
- 130. Yeah.
- 131. Very big business.
- 132. We could make a real killing.
- 133. And we'll nail the
scum the way I say it.
- 134. Got it, Mengele?
- 135. Do it quick and we'll do it clean.
- 136. They won't know what hit them.
- 137. We'll save your open
spleen surgery for parties.
- 138. So, when's the call?
- 139. Tomorrow.
- 140. Eva and I have already
sent the invitations.
- 141. RSVP in blood for all
those who don't show.
- 142. Glad you could slime in, sewer pipe.
- 143. Where's your faggot boyfriend?
- 144. He'll be along shortly.
- 145. What's this all about, kraut?
- 146. Sand.
- 147. We're not getting the most out of it.
- 148. I now the coast in my bones,
- 149. and its potential has never been greater,
- 150. but we need to work together.
- 151. My way.
- 152. Nazi battleships will be
patrolling the whole coast soon.
- 153. Forget about individual colors.
- 154. Forget about gang territory.
- 155. We need to centralize power.
- 156. We need to pull together under
the sign of the swastika.
- 157. Adolf, no!
- 158. You couldn't handle the power!
- 159. Anymore heroes?
- 160. She hasn't been adjusted.
- 161. I mean, she's not adjusting well.
- 162. Well, just sedate her
- 163. like you sedate all the other guests.
- 164. It's not that easy.
- 165. Look, you know the system.
- 166. Valium in her coffee,
Percodan in her eggs.
- 167. She won't drink our coffee,
she won't touch our food.
- 168. She's not even happy with
the view from her window.
- 169. Art.
- 170. Try something quieter, drugs maybe.
- 171. Come here.
- 172. This is real beauty.
- 173. Looks perfectly normal.
- 174. Switchboard.
- 175. Surf to live, live to surf!
- 176. Surf to live, live to surf!
- 177. Surf to live, live to surf!
- 178. Brothers.
- 179. Yeah.
- 180. 10, 30.
- 181. 40, 50.
- 182. Well, well, well.
- 183. If it isn't the candy man himself.
- 184. What will it be?
- 185. The usual, baby.
- 186. Oh, the usual?
- 187. Hey, when you gonna take me on a ride
- 188. on your hot rod, huh Wheels?
- 189. Soon.
- 190. Soon, huh?
- 191. Listen, bitch, you lay
one finger on my man again,
- 192. and I'll cut those pretty
little titties right off.
- 193. Thought you
was at home with the kids.
- 194. Huh, not bad, Wheels, not bad at all.
- 195. Your old man at the
gay bar today?
- 196. That's right, Wheels.
- 197. The old lady got the cash?
- 198. The shipment was short.
- 199. I'm real sorry to hear that.
- 200. - Listen bitch...
- 201. Back off!
- 202. Sit down.
- 203. Spill, motherfucker!
- 204. We were delivered
a half a key short.
- 205. That ain't short, Wheels.
- 206. That's somebody else's white Christmas.
- 207. We ain't caterin' no parties.
- 208. It's the city heat, they're too greedy.
- 209. They show 'em how to diet.
- 210. I'll take what ya got.
- 211. More Franklins by Monday, got it?
- 212. Shithead.
- 213. Adolf's got you well-trained.
- 214. That's right, I'm his personal bitch,
- 215. and you'd do well to consider
- 216. a more competent cunt for yourself.
- 217. What, no one wants to slam dance?
- 218. Nice goin', Eva babe.
- 219. All they understand is force.
- 220. Freudian psychology, actually.
- 221. All little boys wanna be charminated.
- 222. Not all little boys, Mengele.
- 223. At least I don't have
your case of penis envy.
- 224. Come on, vermin, let's go.
- 225. Samurai surfers.
- 226. Ding 'em up!
- 227. All right!
- 228. No, no Adolf, no, not here!
- 229. Who the hell do you think you
are attempting my wave, huh?
- 230. Ha, motherfucker!
- 231. Oh.
- 232. What seems to be the problem.
- 233. No problem.
- 234. Come.
- 235. - Ha ha!
- 236. thanks for the surfboards.
- 237. I knew you weren't shit!
- 238. Come on, Samurai man!
- 239. Come back again
- 240. anytime you wanna get
your ass whipped, man!
- 241. Hey, thanks a lot!
- 242. You try to have some
mercy on these folks here.
- 243. Only the good Lord shows mercy, son.
- 244. You too big to kiss your mama goodbye?
- 245. Goin' swimmin'?
- 246. Yeah, it was great yesterday.
- 247. Stop him!
- 248. He's 90'! My purse!
- 249. Let me take that from
you, little bastard.
- 250. Give it here.
- 251. Oh, thank god you were jogging by.
- 252. You are a wicked little boy.
- 253. Share the gold, bitch.
- 254. Problem, folks?
- 255. It's none of your business.
- 256. My little friend here gets
a bit overeager at times.
- 257. It's the cause, you understand.
- 258. No, I don't understand it.
- 259. If the police were here, you
wouldn't even be on this...
- 260. But they're not.
- 261. Now, run along.
- 262. Adolf.
- 263. Leroy.
- 264. Don't I know you?
- 265. Why should you?
- 266. I don't know.
- 267. You look kind of like a
white man I used to know.
- 268. Except you fell down the chimney.
- 269. Hey Leroy.
- 270. Your mama is callin' you, man!
- 271. Is this your son?
- 272. Yes.
- 273. Can I get ya something?
- 274. No.
- 275. I just wanna be alone.
- 276. Why, Jesus?
- 277. Why?
- 278. He's all I had left in the world.
- 279. Please God,
- 280. tell me who did this.
- 281. That hook made quite a mess.
- 282. Of course it did, that's what hooks do.
- 283. You think there's room in this world
- 284. for a squeamish conqueror?
- 285. So fuckin' noble, Brutus.
- 286. Don't you ever say that again!
- 287. Listen!
- 288. It's a do-good beachy.
- 289. What are you guys fightin'
about anyway, huh?
- 290. Who the hell's gonna
miss one goddamn nigger.
- 291. Now's the time to look ahead, to plot,
- 292. and remember who our leader is.
- 293. So, what's our next move, Eva?
- 294. Shut the fuck up, Mengele.
- 295. Mengele!
- 296. Mengele!
- 297. I want to talk to you!
- 298. I said, I wanna talk to you!
- 299. All you ever wanna do is talk.
- 300. All you ever wanna do
- 301. is yakety, yakety, yakety, yakety, yak,
- 302. and you never wanna fuckin' listen, man!
- 303. That's not true!
- 304. It is true, it is!
- 305. This whole operation is
fallin' apart before you,
- 306. and then you can't even see it
- 307. for the pubic hair in your eyes.
- 308. Shut up!
- 309. No, where are
they, man, I'll prove it to ya!
- 310. You wear their fuckin' sign!
- 311. What, god, from where
you're pussy whipped!
- 312. You are created in me.
- 313. Goddamn straight I am!
- 314. Do you who Mengele was, man?
- 315. Do you know?
- 316. The fucking exterminating angel!
- 317. He's all I had left.
- 318. Such a horrible shock, dear.
- 319. Just like the quake.
- 320. Gregory.
- 321. Take that wetsuit off.
- 322. No way, Adolf is expecting me.
- 323. Adolf?
- 324. Good god, Gregory, is that what that
- 325. snotty Ricky Johnson calls himself now.
- 326. Mom.
- 327. And what are we gonna
learn today, Gregory?
- 328. Don't call me Gregory!
- 329. How to assassinate your parents?
- 330. You're not going back to them.
- 331. They're cool.
- 332. They're the gnarliest gang around, Mom.
- 333. Yeah, right.
- 334. And don't call me Mom!
- 335. What?
- 336. It's reverse psychology.
- 337. I asked Dr. Sniff all
about how to deal with you
- 338. and your nee-Nam crap.
- 339. You know what he said to me?
- 340. You know what he said?
- 341. He said you have suppressed
hatred for your father and me.
- 342. I don't hate you.
- 343. Oh, yes you do, Gregory.
- 344. Like, I just wanna live my life my way.
- 345. Okay, Smegg, I got a flash for you.
- 346. Go live your life!
- 347. See ya later.
- 348. Oh, can I borrow a couple bucks.
- 349. Oh, god.
- 350. And don't be late for dinner!
- 351. Which has been inflicted
- 352. by the residual aftershocks of the quake.
- 353. Stinking walking Sly.
- 354. How goes it?
- 355. Adolf, how nice.
- 356. What can I do for you?
- 357. I need better prices, Sly.
- 358. And the media were...
- 359. I can't give you better prices.
- 360. Try.
- 361. I can't, I'm flat on the floor.
- 362. I bring you a ton
- 363. of easily re-sellable
merchandise every day.
- 364. I know it's in demand, Sly.
- 365. I urge the public...
- 366. I take it from the consumer.
- 367. This is not the...
- 368. Just offload it faster.
- 369. Time is in
traffic, even before...
- 370. It just doesn't work like that.
- 371. Then lower bottom end.
- 372. Why, I was an economics major.
- 373. Don't fuck with me.
- 374. This is not
the end of the world.
- 375. We'll survive this disaster if
we work toward law and order.
- 376. What do you think, Sly.
- 377. Oh, it looks good.
- 378. Thank you.
- 379. Hey, that's only a buck.
- 380. That's solid gold, it's 100 bucks!
- 381. Gang-related crime.
- 382. I'm tellin' ya, we're the
hottest gang on the beach.
- 383. Surfers rule the waves,
the Nazis rule the surfers.
- 384. You're still an asshole, Smegg.
- 385. Yeah, I like the Pipeliners.
- 386. Ugh, screw the Pipeliners.
- 387. They're history.
- 388. Nobody thinks the Nazis can rule.
- 389. Well, nah, nah, well,
you better believe it.
- 390. I feel sorry for anyone who doesn't, huh?
- 391. There was a nigger who
tried to stop the Nazi wave.
- 392. He ain't around no more.
- 393. Keep talkin' white trash!
- 394. Dog fucking bastards!
- 395. Fuckin' nerve.
- 396. The slicer, the switchboard, fuck!
- 397. It's your fault!
- 398. You dizzy bitch!
- 399. The beautiful birds are barbecued
- 400. because you can't stay in one place
- 401. for five fuckin' minutes.
- 402. Slime-sucking neanderthal!
- 403. How dare you question my loyalty?
- 404. Shut the fuck up, both of you!
- 405. Fuck!
- 406. Save that shit for them!
- 407. Tomorrow, we strike!
- 408. No one fucks with the Nazis!
- 409. Larry, Larry!
- 410. Who did this to you?
- 411. Larry, Larry, who the
hell done this to ya?
- 412. Nazis!
- 413. Hey Jesus, where do
you think you're goin'?
- 414. I'm surfin', brother.
- 415. Nobody surfs here but the Nazis.
- 416. New orders from Adolf.
- 417. I don't know any Adolf.
- 418. Fuck.
- 419. Day at the beach, boys!
- 420. There's no room for
Jesus on the New Beach,
- 421. and it's our final solution, brother.
- 422. Good you could make it.
- 423. Are you kidding?
- 424. The situation is totally
- 425. I guess you heard they rumbled
- 426. Jake and Rabbit yesterday, huh?
- 427. More bad news, I guess.
- 428. They're moving in on Power Beach.
- 429. What?
- 430. Since when?
- 431. Since dawn.
- 432. That's ours, man, that
ain't Nazi territory.
- 433. Oh, that's real bright, Mex.
- 434. Except you're forgettin'
one important thing, man.
- 435. The quake, the quake changed all that.
- 436. Adolf plays by a whole new
set of rules, hardcore.
- 437. He plays dirty-
- 438. Naw, naw, I think it's time
that we stop playin' around.
- 439. And fuck somebody up.
- 440. We need a plan.
- 441. Trading it in for another one.
- 442. Aw man, that hook was you.
- 443. It's a piece of shit.
- 444. Well, then try this.
- 445. Oh, that's great.
- 446. Here.
- 447. Come here!
- 448. How's that'?
- 449. Could try it out.
- 450. Afternoon, help you, ma'am?
- 451. We got pipes here, we got tobacco here,
- 452. all kinda smokin' accessories.
- 453. We got everything you might want.
- 454. We got incense burners, we got clay pipes,
- 455. we got glass pipes, freshly
city blends, tobacco.
- 456. Anything you want ma'am.
- 457. What can I help you with?
- 458. I wanna buy a gun.
- 459. Yes, ma'am.
- 460. Got this here, ladies'
Saturday night special.
- 461. A ladies' gun?
- 462. It's small, ma'am.
- 463. It's easy to carry, perfect for a woman.
- 464. Well, that's real nice, dear,
- 465. but I'm more interested in something
- 466. that'll take the head
off a honky at 20 paces!
- 467. You mean business, don't you, ma'am?
- 468. I'll be right back.
- 469. Got this here Walther, P38.
- 470. That'll take more than
his head off, ma'am.
- 471. It'll take his whole upper body off.
- 472. I'll take it, how much?
- 473. Just 129.95.
- 474. I'll throw in a box of ammunition, ma'am.
- 475. I'll give ya any set of pipes you want.
- 476. I'll give you anything
want, ma'am, with that.
- 477. You look like a woman who
knows what she wants, ma'am.
- 478. I can get ya shotguns, I can get ya mace.
- 479. Hell, I can get ya grenades.
- 480. Grenades?
- 481. Yo Rats"
- 482. Seek, little Rats.
- 483. Hey man, we ain't the Rats no more.
- 484. Oh really?
- 485. Yeah.
- 486. Now, we're the Earth Surfers,
riders of the hard wave.
- 487. Pretty radical, huh?
- 488. You're still the ears
of the New Beach, I hope.
- 489. Sure.
- 490. Good, any noise?
- 491. You'll need new t-shirts.
- 492. Something's
gonna go down real soon.
- 493. Goodnight, honey.
- 494. Dear Adolf,
- 495. there's some gnarly
trouble comin' your way.
- 496. I can't tell ya to your face
- 497. 'cause I'm afraid you might
hurt me, but please be careful.
- 498. Smegg-
- 499. Hold it, Smegg.
- 500. Where the hell you think you're goin'?
- 501. Huh?
- 502. Out to check the midnight swell.
- 503. Really?
- 504. Yeah.
- 505. Really?
- 506. What's this?
- 507. I thought we got rid
of all this Adolf crap.
- 508. Huh, huh?
- 509. Oh geez, Smegg, I've had it with you.
- 510. Come on, now get it, go on!
- 511. Jesus.
- 512. Do I have to put bars on this window?
- 513. Here.
- 514. Now's not the time.
- 515. Oh, don't be ridiculous, Brutus.
- 516. There's never been a better time.
- 517. When do we proceed?
- 518. Shit!
- 519. Man, Hook came outta nowhere!
- 520. Thought we fuckin' had him, god!
- 521. Wait, we'll take him at the bunker.
- 522. Let's go.
- 523. Let's go tear up the Designer Waves.
- 524. Time to die.
- 525. Hey!
- 526. Aw shit!
- 527. Fuckin' A, man!
- 528. Yeah!
- 529. Ow.
- 530. Shit.
- 531. Ow!
- 532. Ow, take it easy!
- 533. You know I can't fuckin' understand
- 534. why the Pipeliners were a no show.
- 535. I can, they always had the
smell of chicken shit on them.
- 536. I need a beer.
- 537. Yeah, get me one, would ya?
- 538. Come on!
- 539. Ow!
- 540. I'm sure the acid's
done its work, let's go.
- 541. Go!
- 542. My pleasure.
- 543. Shit, Mex.
- 544. You're outnumbered now,
Nazi, two against one.
- 545. Sewer Pipe!
- 546. It's about fuckin' time, Adolf.
- 547. Adolf!
- 548. Oh, Adolf!
- 549. Adolf, I'm blind!
- 550. You're useless
to me now, Brutus.
- 551. What was your worst moment ever, Hook?
- 552. Probably about the
time between when the,
- 553. the shark got my hand
- 554. and I got the shark.
- 555. Mengele?
- 556. Ah, they're all bad, man.
- 557. We'll bury Brutus in the morning.
- 558. Jesus!
- 559. Go in there!
- 560. My neck, my neck!
- 561. Mengele!
- 562. Goddamn it.
- 563. Mengele.
- 564. Mengele.
- 565. Adolf, the bike!
- 566. Come on!
- 567. The bike!
- 568. It must be one of those bikers.
- 569. Come on, hurry up!
- 570. Shit.
- 571. Eleanor, I demand that
you stop this at once.
- 572. You are upsetting the other guests,
- 573. and I will not, will not
stand for this any longer.
- 574. Do you understand me?
- 575. All right, you wanted a
showdown between us, old lady,
- 576. well, you got one.
- 577. Everything I held dear in my life
- 578. has crumbled to pieces
in less than a month.
- 579. I've been pushed too far.
- 580. I got nothin' left but payback.
- 581. You mess with me and
you're dead meat, Withers!
- 582. There's the bike!
- 583. I want that old bitch!
- 584. I said it and I meant it, I quit!
- 585. Punk Nazis!
- 586. You need some Valium, Nursey.
- 587. Damn, dead end,
let's ditch the bike here.
- 588. Let's get the hell outta here!
- 589. I know it was you, Adolf!
- 590. I've been watchin'.
- 591. You can only push so much.
- 592. I can only take so much.
- 593. I'm your worst fuckin'
nightmare, ya hear me?
- 594. Think Adolf.
- 595. Why do you suppose
- 596. your little blonde boy quit comin' around?
- 597. Remember the boy, huh?
- 598. Remember the grenade?
- 599. Remember me?
- 600. Remember my son, Leroy?
- 601. Think hard, Adolf.
- 602. All that weird shit that's
been happenin' to you lately,
- 603. I'm the one who's been makin' it happen.
- 604. Come on.
- 605. Show yourself.
- 606. Come to Mama.
- 607. I got somethin' for ya.
- 608. That's right.
- 609. It's called payback!
- 610. Come on.
- 611. You hear me?
- 612. You hear me in there?
- 613. Great waves.
- 614. Hey, dude!
- 615. Ooh, y'all look a mess.
- 616. Surf Nazis do this?
- 617. Yeah.
- 618. Which way they go?
- 619. Fishin' ain't no good
- 620. and neither are the goddamn hot dogs.
- 621. What do you say we take
the boat out on the harbor,
- 622. try our luck out there?
- 623. Today's your lucky day, sucker.
- 624. You and me are goin'
trollin' for some surfers.
- 625. Oh, hot damn!
- 626. There he is.
- 627. Gotcha!
- 628. Taste some of Mama's home cookin', Adolf!