1. Who am I?
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2. You sure you want to know?
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3. Truth is, I'm a nobody.
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4. Actually, I'm worse than a nobody.
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5. I'm this guy.
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6. Stop!
Stop the bus!
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7. The story of my life is not
for the faint of heart.
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8. Thanks.
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9. But, like any story worth telling,
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10. it's all about a girl.
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11. Not that girl.
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12. - Hey. Hi.
- I don't think that is a girl.
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13. No, it's about this girl...
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14. Jill Johnson.
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15. Ever since I can remember
I've been in love with her,
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16. but she barely knows I exist.
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17. Yo, Rick!
Yo, come here, man!
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18. I got you a seat down here. What's...
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19. I'll call y'all back.
Everybody, bye.
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20. - What's up, man?
- Hey, Trey.
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21. Dude, I'm so psyched
for this class trip.
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22. We about to see some real
serious cutting-edge shit.
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23. That's what I'm talking about.
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24. Yo, you got any C batteries on you?
AAs?
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25. Got that new sandwich
from Sony in my backpack.
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26. Wi-Fi... mmm!
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27. Yo! You got to forget about her, dawg.
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28. Look look.
Let me show you something.
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29. She not even looking at you.
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30. If I could just tell her how I feel.
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31. Look, Rick, I already told you...
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32. you never gonna get
with Jill, all right?
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33. Seriously, she hangs out
with the popular crew,
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34. and nobody messes around
outside their group, man.
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35. Come on, that crew stuff isn't real.
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36. The hell it ain't.
Look around, Rick.
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37. - Look, you got your jocks...
- Get the ball, man.
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38. ...nerds, emos,
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39. Frodos,
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40. the Scarface society...
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41. ...the sexual predators.
- Yeah.
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42. - Of course you got the Rick punchers.
- The who?
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43. - Oh!
- Yeah, they new.
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44. But you know what?
Who cares?
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45. 'Cause we got our own crew...
me and you.
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46. Thanks, Trey.
You're the best, man.
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47. - Am I in?
- No.
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48. Come on.
Hey, it's me and you, baby.
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49. The two of us against the world.
You hear me?
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50. You look good today.
I like your hair.
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51. I'm gonna show you
something nasty I downloaded.
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52. Don't tell nobody.
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53. Welcome to Amalgamated.
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54. I'm Dr. Strom,
head of the research department...
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55. - Come on, man.
- ... where we create the future today.
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56. And now I'd like
to show you our crown jewel.
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57. The Amalgamated animal genetics lab.
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58. Go ahead, explore.
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59. Yo yo. Come on, Rick.
Man, check this out.
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60. All of our animals are
genetically engineered
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61. and each of them has...
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62. Oh, you're so pretty.
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63. Hi, birdie.
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64. Hi. Hi.
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65. - She's beautiful, isn't she?
- Yes, she is.
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66. Uh, I'm gonna take a picture of her
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67. for the school newspaper.
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68. Our only rules: Don't feed the animals
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69. and please,
no flash photography.
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70. Some of our genetically-
engineered animals
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71. are a little sensitive to light.
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72. It flew away.
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73. Uh... whoo-hoo.
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74. What the F, loser?
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75. - Get him, Lance.
- Come on, Lance.
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76. - Leave him alone.
- I don't think so.
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77. Is there a problem, Lance?
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78. No. No problem, Uncle Lou.
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79. Mr. Landers!
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80. Students, this is Lou Landers,
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81. visionary scientist
and C.E.O. of Amalgamated.
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82. Well, I'm just a businessman now.
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83. The future of science
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84. belongs to all of you.
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85. Please, enjoy the tour.
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86. Are you okay?
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87. Yes, this is healthy-cough blood.
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88. Rick Riker. You're not Blaine and Julia
Riker's son, are you?
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89. - I am.
- Ah. Good people.
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90. - How are they?
- They died violently nine years ago.
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91. But otherwise okay?
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92. Yes, thank you.
I live with my aunt and uncle now.
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93. Well, you seem
like a real chip off the old block.
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94. Let's hope you're not
violently murdered too.
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95. That's for making me look stupid.
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96. Next time I hurt you.
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97. Yeah.
You the man, Lance.
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98. Our work with these animals
has helped us develop
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99. new antibiotics,
advanced pesticides
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100. and a powerful new pheromone
which drives animals to mate
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101. called compound H2O9.
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102. It's a strong sexual attractant.
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103. A single drop is enough
to arouse any animal.
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104. We plan on using it to breed
endangered species.
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105. A special and indeed
often overlooked...
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106. Our most-promising research
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107. is with these dragonflies.
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108. For example,
this dragonfly's skin
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109. has a hard,
armor-like exoskeleton
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110. to defend against...
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111. And this species of dragonfly
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112. has enormous strength for its size.
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113. It can lift vast amounts.
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114. More than it's body weight.
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115. And here we've injected the DNA
from all three species
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116. into seven new genetically-enhanced
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117. super dragonflies.
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118. But there's only six in there.
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119. Well, one missing dragonfly
is the least of my concerns.
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120. I lost six tigers alone last month.
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121. This area is where
we keep our livestock.
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122. Aren't you going to do something?
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123. Soon as I get this up on YouTube.
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124. I see. Ye... well,
yes, I understand.
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125. Thank you for the call.
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126. That was the principal.
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127. Rick walked off a class trip.
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128. After all the parenting you've done,
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129. he's still so troubled.
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130. Why do you think that is, Albert?
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131. I have no idea, Lucille.
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132. I have taught him everything I know
about being a man.
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133. And a good man you are
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134. after all these years of marriage.
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135. It's like we first met.
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136. Sure, you're a little older.
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137. Your hair's grey.
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138. You have crow's feet.
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139. It takes you an hour to pee.
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140. Your thighs look like cottage cheese
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141. someone threw up on a hot sidewalk.
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142. And you've always had a tiny penis.
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143. Well... what does it matter
when you're in love?
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144. Oh, Rick.
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145. We were wondering where you were.
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146. It's so late.
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147. About time you got home.
Your aunt was getting worried.
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148. You can sleep late in the morning,
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149. but don't forget to feed the fish.
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150. Attaboy.
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151. I don't know.
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152. Something just doesn't seem
quite right with him today.
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153. Teenagers. I'll talk to him.
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154. Rough day, huh?
Well, I won't lie to you.
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155. Puberty is a difficult time
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156. in a young man's life.
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157. Now this book may explain
what's happening.
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158. Let's see.
There are mood swings, fluid retention,
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159. and once a month you'll bleed
from your vagina.
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160. This may be the wrong book.
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161. What's important is that you're on
the verge of adulthood.
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162. Here... take a drink.
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163. Ah, the rituals of manhood.
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164. Today you have your first beer,
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165. and tomorrow we'll circumcise you.
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166. I'm losing patience, Dr. Strom.
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167. Please, sir, if you could just
wait a few minutes...
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168. I've waited long enough
for this egomaniac.
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169. We're the board of directors.
Our time is valuable.
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170. Not as valuable as mine, Mr. Carlson.
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171. You see, I have a terminal illness.
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172. I've been fighting it for years,
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173. but the disease has ravaged my organs.
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174. As of this moment,
I have one hour left to live.
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175. It was on sale.
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176. Gentlemen, if you're ready,
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177. allow me to show you the future.
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178. What the hell is that?
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179. An innovation...
thank you...
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180. that will not only save my life
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181. but the life of this company.
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182. For too long we've scraped out profits
from pills and injections.
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183. The real prize is the total cure.
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184. A device that can alter DNA
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185. and restore the body to perfect health.
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186. - You're crazy.
- No.
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187. Crazy is hearing voices,
talking to cats,
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188. dating Paula Abdul.
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189. I'm not crazy.
I'm a visionary!
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190. Sir.
Sir, the machine's
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191. never been fully tested.
If something should go wrong...
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192. - Start the machine!
- Yes, sir.
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193. Plasma level is steady.
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194. Genetic modification's
at optimum levels!
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195. Sir, the core is overheating.
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196. We have to abort!
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197. Did it work?
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198. I'm so sorry.
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199. Well, well, well.
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200. I want you to know
what a joy it will be
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201. running this company
without you in the way.
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202. Let go.
Let me go.
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203. Gentlemen, I think it's time we made
some personnel changes.
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204. No, get away!
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205. Oh. How long was I asleep?
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206. Five days.
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207. Wait.
Wha...
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208. Oh, Dad.
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209. I thought you'd live forever.
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210. Breakfast, Rick!
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211. I'll be right down!
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212. If I can have your attention.
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213. We are delighted to have as guest judge
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214. the foremost scientist in the world.
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215. He's a visiting professor
at Empire City University
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216. where he's working
with the rare element cerillium.
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217. I am so proud to welcome
Dr. Stephen Hawking.
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218. Thank you for that warm welcome.
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219. I have a disease that has paralyzed me.
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220. I cannot walk and I use
this computer to speak.
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221. But I am not depressed,
because I have the gift of knowledge.
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222. That's a lie.
I think about suicide every day.
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223. But you should all be happy
with your lives.
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224. You can walk, talk,
wipe your own asses
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225. and then there's all the sex.
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226. I haven't had sex in years.
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227. My nurse is a lesbian,
and not the hot kind.
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228. Hey, anyone want to get high?
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229. I've got some hash with me.
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230. White guy in the dreads,
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231. you know what I'm talking about.
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232. Anyone? Anyone?
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233. Pussies!
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234. Watch where you're going
in slo-mo, dipshit.
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235. - Pfft.
- Yeah.
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236. Go to her, stupid.
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237. Tell her how you feel.
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238. Yow.
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239. Uh... he did it.
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240. - I'm gonna kill you.
- Get him, Lance!
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241. - Lance, stop it.
- Kick his ass, Lance!
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242. Fight fight fight!
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243. Damn!
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244. Get... get off me!
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245. Ow ow.
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246. Shit shit shit shit.
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247. Stop! Stop! Hey!
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248. Get out of the way!
No brakes!
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249. Get out of the way!
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250. Ma'am, look out!
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251. - How did you...
- I can't believe it.
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252. - You just saved that old lady's life.
- Amazing.
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253. I... I guess.
If I hadn't pushed her out of the way,
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254. she would've die... ah!
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255. You should be really proud of yourself.
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256. You're some kind of hero.
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257. If you could excuse me.
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258. There we go. Awfully nice of you
to help me out here, Trey.
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259. Oh, no problem.
I'm waiting on Rick, anyway, so...
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260. My God.
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261. How did you do that?
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262. Uh, it's easier than it looks.
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263. No, I don't think so.
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264. Why don't you tell me what's going on?
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265. All right. Well,
there is something, okay?
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266. But you have to keep it a secret.
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267. I think I have...
superpowers.
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268. I find that hard to believe.
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269. All right, all right,
how about this?
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270. Go ahead and throw
as many punches as you want.
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271. I bet you 100 bucks you don't land one.
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272. Easy money.
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273. What else can you do?
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274. I don't know.
I... I was bitten by a dragonfly.
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275. Well, some dragonflies
have armored skin.
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276. I wonder if my skin is...
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277. Well, good thing that worked.
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278. So you do have superpowers.
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279. We could be a team!
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280. We gonna get fame, money...
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281. - Don't forget the bitches.
- There's not gonna be fame
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282. and there's not gonna be bitches, okay?
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283. I didn't ask for any of this.
I just wanna be like everybody else.
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284. That isn't what
your parents wanted for you.
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285. You're not my father.
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286. But I love you like your father did.
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287. I believe in you like your father did.
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288. I had sex with your mother just
like your father did.
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289. Huh. You'll never understand me.
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290. Never.
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291. That isn't what
your parents wanted for you.
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292. What a great performance.
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293. Well, Rick,
did you enjoy the opera?
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294. Son, is something troubling you?
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295. It's so unfair.
They have nothing.
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296. I want to change things.
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297. And you will.
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298. One day, Rick, people will look
to you to be a hero.
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299. When that day comes,
will you be ready?
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300. Give me your wallet.
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301. That too.
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302. Blaine's voice:
People will look to you to be a hero.
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303. When that day comes,
will you be ready?
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304. Rick!
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305. Rick, please!
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306. - Dad!
- Oh, Rick, I'm dying.
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307. - No!
- Don't worry.
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308. My brother Albert will take you in.
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309. Rick, the money,
it's all yours now.
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310. Sell all shares of a small company
called Google.
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311. It's worthless.
Invest heavily in Enron.
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312. Rick, I have something for you.
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313. Reach into my coat pocket.
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314. The other coat pocket.
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315. God!
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316. That ring was my father's
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317. and his father's before him.
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318. Earn it, Rick.
Be a hero.
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319. Claim your...
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320. destiny.
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321. Dad!
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322. I'm no superhero.
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323. I'm nobody!
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324. - Are you okay?
- What, you heard that?
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325. You're nothing but an ugly,
ungrateful little whore!
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326. Just like your mother!
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327. - Who was that?
- My mother.
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328. Listen, about what happened
at school this morning, I...
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329. You really freaked us out.
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330. I'm really going through
a tough time right now.
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331. Me too. My parents,
they want me to go to college,
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332. but I want to be a dancer.
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333. I believe in you.
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334. You really do, don't you?
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335. I wish I could say the same for Lance.
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336. I don't know.
Is he the right one
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337. or am I just dating him
to rebel against my father?
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338. He doesn't want any boy near me.
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339. That's why he installed
the electrified fence.
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340. Well, we'll see.
You can't run from your destiny.
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341. - Right?
- Right.
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342. - Jill, let's go!
- Nice car.
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343. Maybe one day you could take me
for a ride in your car.
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344. Uh...
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345. Uh, yeah.
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346. Yeah, definitely.
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347. Oh. Lovebirds.
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348. Rick, this is Professor Xavier.
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349. Your powers are growing,
but you can't control it.
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350. It's important that you...
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351. become a hero...
train yourself to fly...
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352. ...in your ass because...
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353. ...squatting on a glass table...
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354. ...two girls...
one cup...
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355. You know what to do.
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356. - This shouldn't take long.
- Well, I'll be waiting right here.
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357. I've reviewed your request
for a loan, Mr. Riker,
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358. but with no job,
no credit history,
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359. I'm afraid I have to say no.
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360. But what about this?
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361. That was last month.
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362. This new promotion's
proving quite popular.
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363. Look, I need to buy a car.
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364. Frankly, Mr. Riker, you're the worst
applicant we've ever had.
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365. Thanks for the loan, Mr. Thompson.
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366. This is a good boy.
There must be something I could do.
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367. Ma'am...
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368. rubbing my crotch under the desk
won't change my mind.
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369. I'm not rubbing your crotch.
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370. I really need that car.
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371. I don't see how that's my problem.
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372. This is a robbery! Nobody move!
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373. Everybody stay down!
Stay down!
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374. - Get down.
- Come on, Lady! Hurry it up!
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375. - Oh.
- Come on, move it!
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376. Oh, hey, I made the same mistake
before when I came in.
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377. Thanks.
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378. You idiot! You let him get away
with our money!
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379. I don't see how that's my problem.
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380. Let me through.
Let me through.
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381. Oh, thank God. I thought something
terrible had happened.
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382. Well, an old guy did
get shot over there.
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383. Uncle Albert! Just try to breathe.
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384. I can't.
You're kneeling on my balls.
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385. Oh, sorry.
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386. Rick, listen.
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387. With great power comes...
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388. Great responsibility?
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389. I was gonna stick with bitches,
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390. but if you want to be a virgin
for the rest of your life...
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391. Uncle Albert!
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392. My balls!
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393. Oh, God.
Mr. Landers!
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394. Oh no.
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395. Okay.
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396. Hide the body. Yeah.
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397. Get in!
Yah! Yah!
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398. Okay, I come back.
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399. Jill?
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400. I came as soon as I heard.
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401. - This is all my fault.
- Rick, it was an armed robbery.
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402. There was nothing you could've done.
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403. I could've stopped that guy
before he shot my uncle.
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404. - Rick Riker?
- Yes?
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405. Dr. Whitby.
What brought you here today?
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406. - My uncle.
- Your uncle brought you?
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407. - No, he's gravely injured.
- Well, then he shouldn't be driving.
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408. Now if you'll excuse me,
I have to perform a breast exam.
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409. Doctor, please.
Is my uncle gonna survive?
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410. Well, I'm not a betting man,
but if you want to put some money on it,
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411. - I'll take "dead in a week."
- Oh my God!
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412. No, it's all right.
It's a normal emotional reaction,
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413. but this should take
the edge off of it.
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414. Here we go.
Nice and easy.
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415. - That's your vein.
- Yes, I know.
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416. First my parents and now this?
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417. I'm nothing but a screw-up.
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418. Yes, your life has been
a testament to that.
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419. But your uncle believed
in you and so do I.
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420. It's never too late to become the person
you're meant to be.
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421. Rick.
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422. Rick.
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423. Hello, Rick.
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424. Who are you and how
do you know my name?
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425. - I'm a psychic.
- Prove it.
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426. Think of any number
between one and a million
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427. and I'll tell you what it is.
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428. - Nine.
- Not out loud, dumbass!
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429. Follow me...
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430. My name is Professor Xavier,
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431. and this is my school.
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432. I started it to help people
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433. with special talents like yours.
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434. Our students here learn to harness
their incredible talents.
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435. and use them to advance
the common good.
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436. Here we have children
who can walk through walls.
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437. We have children who think they can
walk through walls.
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438. Some faces may be familiar,
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439. like Wolverine.
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440. Other mutants you probably
didn't know existed,
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441. like Sneezo.
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442. Most of our students
are born with their powers.
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443. Some, like you,
gain them later in life.
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444. - Oh, is that...
- Yes, it is.
Copy !req
445. When he came to this school,
Copy !req
446. he weighed 130 Ibs.
Copy !req
447. Take enough roids,
you could do anything.
Copy !req
448. Back up off those pills, Barry!
Copy !req
449. - Why have you brought me here?
- Because you have the potential
Copy !req
450. - to be the best.
- But I can't even fly.
Copy !req
451. Once you understand
the true nature of heroism,
Copy !req
452. you will fly.
But first I must teach you
Copy !req
453. the secret to becoming a superhero.
Copy !req
454. Hey, Storm! You look
like you putting on a little weight.
Copy !req
455. So, Professor,
about this secret...
Copy !req
456. - Well, you see...
- Xavier!
Copy !req
457. - Aw, shit.
- Well?
Copy !req
458. You wanna explain
why I found her hiding in your closet?
Copy !req
459. But, pumpkin,
I don't see nobody.
Copy !req
460. - Oh, you don't?
- Ow!
Copy !req
461. Invisible Girl?
Copy !req
462. Apparently not invisible enough.
Copy !req
463. If you knew how to
take care of your man,
Copy !req
464. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Copy !req
465. - No, she didn't.
- Oh, this bitch is crazy.
Copy !req
466. I'm gonna have to whip your ass.
Copy !req
467. - You don't say no disrespectful...
- What are you gonna do, baldy?
Copy !req
468. I'm everywhere,
sweet cheeks.
Copy !req
469. - That all you got?
- Yeah!
Copy !req
470. Now what?
Now how about that, Invisi-bitch?
Copy !req
471. Yeah, whatever.
I'm out of here.
Copy !req
472. How could you do this
to me? To your kids?
Copy !req
473. To your newborn baby?
Copy !req
474. How do I know that baby's even mine?
Copy !req
475. Because he can do this.
Copy !req
476. Shit!
Copy !req
477. Aw, man.
Copy !req
478. Now I'm never gonna know the secret
to becoming a superhero.
Copy !req
479. You wanna know the secret?
Come close.
Copy !req
480. Make a costume,
shithead!
Copy !req
481. I swear to God. They get dumber
and dumber every year.
Copy !req
482. A costume.
Copy !req
483. Rick, you, uh...
Copy !req
484. Oh my God.
Copy !req
485. Damn!
Copy !req
486. Dude, you're like
a real superhero, man!
Copy !req
487. I love the mask.
Copy !req
488. How you breathe in it though?
Copy !req
489. What's that sound?
Copy !req
490. You put some kind
of air intake in the mask.
Copy !req
491. Boy, you better...
now I'm assuming
Copy !req
492. that the material is
see-through, right?
Copy !req
493. Yeah, dude, I'ma tell you something.
Rick, this is good.
Copy !req
494. I'm impressed.
Like really impressed.
Copy !req
495. Hey, that's my spot.
Copy !req
496. You're sitting on my gargoyle.
Move it.
Copy !req
497. - Excuse me?
- What are you even doing here?
Copy !req
498. I'm looking seriously out over the city
Copy !req
499. Well, that's what I do here.
So if you're not moving,
Copy !req
500. I guess we're gonna have to share.
Copy !req
501. Uh, okay, fine.
Copy !req
502. - Uh, I can't perch like this.
- God, me neither.
Copy !req
503. - What's your name?
- John Storm.
Copy !req
504. Dragonfly.
So what's your power?
Copy !req
505. What's my power?
Stand back.
Copy !req
506. - Flame on!
- Whoa!
Copy !req
507. Huh?
Copy !req
508. I'm on fire!
Copy !req
509. Get a blanket or something!
Holy shit!
Copy !req
510. It's not working!
Get the fire extinguisher!
Copy !req
511. Ah! No! Ah!
Copy !req
512. God! You idiot, stop!
Copy !req
513. What's wrong with you?
Copy !req
514. Sorry, my bad.
Copy !req
515. Rick, once you understand
the true nature of heroism,
Copy !req
516. you will fly.
Copy !req
517. Shit.
Copy !req
518. This Dragonfly,
he's not even a hero.
Copy !req
519. He's not... I have... I have...
I have just a... I have...
Copy !req
520. He can't...
he can't even fly.
Copy !req
521. The Dragonfly can't even fly!
Copy !req
522. I can fly, okay?
Copy !req
523. I can fly.
Copy !req
524. This just in:
Copy !req
525. Tom Cruise is dead.
Copy !req
526. Strom, do you have my test results?
Copy !req
527. I'm afraid you have to kill each day
Copy !req
528. to live each day.
Copy !req
529. unless you had some cerillium.
Copy !req
530. Take a look.
Copy !req
531. Hawking's lab is
in the physics building.
Copy !req
532. I could just walk right in.
Copy !req
533. You're going to steal cerillium?
Copy !req
534. No, not me.
Copy !req
535. But perhaps there's someone inside me.
Copy !req
536. Someone who will,
at any cost, survive!
Copy !req
537. Oh, glass in my eye.
Glass in my eye!
Copy !req
538. - Does it hurt?
- Uh, yeah, it hurts.
Copy !req
539. Well, if you could spread...
spread them with your fingers.
Copy !req
540. Push your lids with your fingers.
Copy !req
541. - Two... two... two fingers.
- Are your fingers clean?
Copy !req
542. That's it. And roll
your eyeball around.
Copy !req
543. - And push it.
- I'm rolling it!
Copy !req
544. Dig it out with another piece of glass.
Copy !req
545. Are you fricking insane?
Copy !req
546. I'll get the tweezers.
Copy !req
547. Read about the Dragonfly,
world's greatest hero.
Copy !req
548. - Right here?
- Right here, yup.
Copy !req
549. Read all about it.
Copy !req
550. No, you listen to me!
Copy !req
551. I want that story
on my desk or you're fired!
Copy !req
552. Who the hell are you?
Copy !req
553. I was wondering if you've
got a job opening for...
Copy !req
554. Job?! How dare you come in here
and ask me for a job?
Copy !req
555. I'm the editor in chief!
I know the mayor of Venus!
Copy !req
556. Hamburgers can see the future!
Copy !req
557. - Rosie O'Donnell...
- Sorry about this.
Copy !req
558. We share the building
with a mental hospital.
Copy !req
559. Bad news, boss. We're nowhere on
those Dragonfly photos.
Copy !req
560. Damn. Those were tomorrow's lead.
Copy !req
561. What about these?
Copy !req
562. Wow! it's almost like
you're the Dragonfly.
Copy !req
563. Uh, no no no.
See?
Copy !req
564. Look.
Copy !req
565. Now that's photography.
Copy !req
566. Just heard on the scanner, some kind
of police standoff at Empire University.
Copy !req
567. We'll need photos.
Kid, I want you to...
Copy !req
568. Where'd he go?
Copy !req
569. Come on, let's go!
Copy !req
570. This is the chief of police.
We have the building surrounded.
Copy !req
571. Come out with your hands up.
Copy !req
572. What the hell is that?
Copy !req
573. I am the Hourglass.
Copy !req
574. And your time is up.
Copy !req
575. It's useless to resist.
Copy !req
576. I'll fight you to my last breath.
Copy !req
577. Like the sands of time
I am unceasing and relentless.
Copy !req
578. Evil never triumphs,
Hourglass.
Copy !req
579. You'll pay for your crimes
and justice will be...
Copy !req
580. stop!
Stop!
Copy !req
581. Stop!
Copy !req
582. Are you okay?
Copy !req
583. No.
Copy !req
584. Titanium blades.
Copy !req
585. They cut through diamonds.
Copy !req
586. I'm not wearing any diamonds.
Copy !req
587. I wish I could stay longer,
Dragonfly.
Copy !req
588. But I just don't have the time.
Copy !req
589. Titanium blades. Looks like someone
found your weakness.
Copy !req
590. It's not my weakness.
Copy !req
591. I'm sorry, I forgot.
Your weakness is you can't fly.
Copy !req
592. Maybe if you had a partner.
Copy !req
593. I don't need help.
Copy !req
594. I'm fine all by myself.
Copy !req
595. She means a lot to you,
doesn't she?
Copy !req
596. What?
Oh, no.
Copy !req
597. I mean, she's with someone else.
Copy !req
598. Well, maybe that's for the best.
Copy !req
599. After all,
it could be dangerous,
Copy !req
600. you know, being the girlfriend
of the Dragonfly.
Copy !req
601. I don't know what to do, Aunt Lucille.
Copy !req
602. - I love her.
- So be it.
Copy !req
603. But remember,
to get to you
Copy !req
604. your enemies will attack
the people you care for the most.
Copy !req
605. Be careful not to hurt
the ones you love.
Copy !req
606. Whoever this Dragonfly is,
he's in over his head.
Copy !req
607. We don't need so-called superheroes.
Copy !req
608. What Empire City needs is more cops.
Copy !req
609. And a Hooters.
Copy !req
610. Jill!
Copy !req
611. Rick?
Copy !req
612. I heard you were auditioning
for a part so...
Copy !req
613. Oh, they're beautiful.
Copy !req
614. God, you are so supportive.
Copy !req
615. Why can't Lance be more like you?
Copy !req
616. There's something you're not
telling me, isn't there?
Copy !req
617. Something secret.
Copy !req
618. Something locked away deep inside.
Copy !req
619. Well, there is...
Copy !req
620. Lucille's voice:
Keep your identity a secret, Rick.
Copy !req
621. Dude, you're like a real superhero, man!
Copy !req
622. Once a month
you'll bleed from you vagina.
Copy !req
623. I...
Copy !req
624. nothing.
Copy !req
625. Nothing?
Copy !req
626. Well, I should go.
Copy !req
627. You're a good friend.
Copy !req
628. Hey, check this out.
Copy !req
629. Oh, shit.
Copy !req
630. - Let's go.
- Get her.
Copy !req
631. Oh God, it hurts.
It hurts.
Copy !req
632. Please stop!
I'm begging you!
Copy !req
633. Wait!
Copy !req
634. - Where are you?
- Behind you.
Copy !req
635. You saved my life.
Copy !req
636. Do I get to thank you?
Copy !req
637. Go.
Be a hero.
Copy !req
638. It looks like you're planning
a mass murder.
Copy !req
639. Would you like help?
Copy !req
640. I'm so happy that you
and your boyfriend
Copy !req
641. are spending Thanksgiving with us.
Copy !req
642. Of course, Lucille.
Copy !req
643. You need support at a time like this.
Copy !req
644. Yes, I miss seeing
my Albert each morning.
Copy !req
645. You know, 50 years of marriage
Copy !req
646. creates quite a bond.
Copy !req
647. I wish I knew love like that.
Copy !req
648. Oh, you will, dear.
Copy !req
649. You just have to follow your heart.
Copy !req
650. That's the thing.
I don't know if I can.
Copy !req
651. Oh, Jill.
Copy !req
652. If you can't trust yourself
who can you trust?
Copy !req
653. I know.
Copy !req
654. But what if my heart
is telling me to be with someone
Copy !req
655. I can't be with?
Copy !req
656. It's not just any guy.
It's the...
Copy !req
657. forget it.
You'll think I'm crazy.
Copy !req
658. No, of course not.
Copy !req
659. You can tell me anything.
Copy !req
660. I'm very good at keeping secrets.
Copy !req
661. You'll think it's ridiculous, but...
Copy !req
662. it's the Drag...
Copy !req
663. - I'll get it.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
664. Hey, babe.
Copy !req
665. Oh, I forgot to tell you
I kinda invited my uncle.
Copy !req
666. - Your uncle?
- What? Set another plate.
Copy !req
667. Well, okay.
I guess.
Copy !req
668. Miss Johnson. Please,
excuse my nephew's poor manners.
Copy !req
669. - Thank you.
- Mrs. Adams, I'm Lou Landers.
Copy !req
670. I hope this isn't
too much of an imposition.
Copy !req
671. Oh, of course not.
There's always room for one more.
Copy !req
672. Thank you.
Copy !req
673. It's just Thanksgiving is for family.
Copy !req
674. Lance is the only family I have.
Copy !req
675. - I never married.
- Fruitcake?
Copy !req
676. Nope, just never met the right woman.
Copy !req
677. Ah, yes, Lance told me
Rick Riker was your neighbor.
Copy !req
678. Where is Rick?
Copy !req
679. That's odd.
Copy !req
680. I thought he was out.
I'll go check on him.
Copy !req
681. Please, you're busy. Allow me.
Copy !req
682. Thank you.
Upstairs, second door to the right.
Copy !req
683. Rick?
Copy !req
684. Sorry I'm late.
Copy !req
685. Oh, Mr. Landers.
Copy !req
686. Rick.
Copy !req
687. No, you're just on time.
Copy !req
688. Everybody,
take your seat.
Copy !req
689. Not till we say grace.
Copy !req
690. Jesus!
Copy !req
691. Amen.
Copy !req
692. Please start, everyone.
Copy !req
693. This all looks so delicious, Lucille.
Copy !req
694. We have Rick to thank for it.
Copy !req
695. Ever since Albert...
Copy !req
696. Rick has been supporting me
with his new job.
Copy !req
697. New job?
You didn't tell me.
Copy !req
698. Oh well, I'm sort of the Dragonfly's
unofficial photographer.
Copy !req
699. What happened to your arm?
Copy !req
700. Uh...
Copy !req
701. a bike messenger knocked me down.
Copy !req
702. I see your wrist is bandaged.
Copy !req
703. Yes, I burned it on some hot coffee.
Copy !req
704. And you have a cut on your lip.
Copy !req
705. Uh...
Copy !req
706. my crackpipe broke.
Copy !req
707. You have a scratch on your neck.
Copy !req
708. Yes, I...
Copy !req
709. met a girl on Craigslist.
Copy !req
710. And you have a bruise on your neck.
Copy !req
711. I...
Copy !req
712. met a guy on Craigslist.
Copy !req
713. I'm sorry, Lance.
We have to go.
Copy !req
714. - Why?
- I...
Copy !req
715. shat my pants.
Copy !req
716. I'll drive.
Copy !req
717. - Thanks for helping clean up.
- Of course.
Copy !req
718. Poor thing's so tired.
Copy !req
719. Yeah, well, you know
old folks after a big meal.
Copy !req
720. So... you know the Dragonfly?
Copy !req
721. Uh...
Copy !req
722. yeah, I guess.
Copy !req
723. You could sorta say we're close.
Copy !req
724. Has he...
has he ever asked about me?
Copy !req
725. Um, yeah.
Copy !req
726. - Yeah, once.
- What did you tell him?
Copy !req
727. Well, I said...
Copy !req
728. I told him...
Copy !req
729. I told him, "The thing about Jill is...
Copy !req
730. when you look in her eyes
and she looks back in yours...
Copy !req
731. you know that you'd do anything
Copy !req
732. anything to be a better person
than you are.
Copy !req
733. So that...
Copy !req
734. if you were ever
lucky enough to be with her,
Copy !req
735. you could earn every second
of her perfect...
Copy !req
736. grace,
and her limitless beauty...
Copy !req
737. and her unending love.
Copy !req
738. - Don't cry.
- I'm not.
Copy !req
739. My eyes are burning.
Copy !req
740. Rick, I want you to know
Copy !req
741. that was the most beautiful thing
Copy !req
742. anyone's ever said to me.
Copy !req
743. - Scented candle?
- Thank you.
Copy !req
744. Rick, I'm so confused, and yet...
Copy !req
745. I know exactly what I want.
Copy !req
746. Sorry to drop in uninvited.
Copy !req
747. It's okay. We were hoping someone
would open a window.
Copy !req
748. It was getting stuffy in here.
Copy !req
749. So this is the lair of the Dragonfly.
Copy !req
750. - How did you...
- No no no,
Copy !req
751. I'm not here to fight you. I've got...
Copy !req
752. thousands of other
people I plan to kill.
Copy !req
753. This little visit is just to show you
Copy !req
754. who'll get hurt if you get in my way.
Copy !req
755. Never!
Copy !req
756. Time to go.
Copy !req
757. The woman, Lucille Adams
of East Empire City,
Copy !req
758. - was badly injured.
- How was she injured?
Copy !req
759. - Badly.
- What about the Dragonfly?
Copy !req
760. All I can tell you is this:
Copy !req
761. he didn't save anyone tonight.
Copy !req
762. Doctor, how is she?
Copy !req
763. I'm afraid your aunt's
taken a turn for the worse.
Copy !req
764. She can't speak, she can't walk,
she had no control over her bowels.
Copy !req
765. That's... that's awful.
Copy !req
766. I know. I went ahead and set up
a MySpace page for her
Copy !req
767. under "crazy shit machine."
Copy !req
768. She already has 40 friends.
Copy !req
769. Wait a minute.
That's somebody else's aunt.
Copy !req
770. Your aunt has no problem
with her bowels...
Copy !req
771. - Oh, thank God.
- ...because she's dead.
Copy !req
772. I'm truly sorry, Rick,
but there is a silver lining.
Copy !req
773. Your uncle came out
of his coma this morning.
Copy !req
774. He did?
Copy !req
775. Yes, but you mustn't tell him about
your aunt just yet.
Copy !req
776. He's in a delicate mental state.
The slightest bit of bad news
Copy !req
777. could send him spiraling
right back into a coma.
Copy !req
778. I understand.
Copy !req
779. Mr. Adams,
you have a visitor.
Copy !req
780. - Is it Lucille?
- No, sir, it's not your dead wife.
Copy !req
781. It's your nephew Rick.
Copy !req
782. Remember, no bad news.
Copy !req
783. Now, sir, here you go.
This is my bill.
Copy !req
784. - You did surgery on me?
- Yes, sir, we confused you
Copy !req
785. with one of our sex-change patients,
Copy !req
786. but don't worry,
we didn't remove your penis.
Copy !req
787. We did cut your
testicles off, but, well,
Copy !req
788. since your wife's dead,
Copy !req
789. you won't be needing them anyway.
Copy !req
790. You just want to keep his spirits up.
Copy !req
791. He'll land on his feet in no time.
Copy !req
792. We are gathered today to say goodbye
Copy !req
793. - to Lucille Adams.
- Goodbye!
Copy !req
794. And now the eulogy.
Copy !req
795. It's tragic to think
this is the last time
Copy !req
796. that I can look upon my wife's face.
Copy !req
797. God, Lucille!
Copy !req
798. How could you take her from me?
I can't live without her!
Copy !req
799. Lucille!
Snookie lumps!
Copy !req
800. I'm sorry, there's been
a terrible mistake.
Copy !req
801. This is your wife.
Copy !req
802. She is this man's wife.
Copy !req
803. Give me five minutes.
Copy !req
804. - Uncle Albert!
- I'm not finished.
Copy !req
805. You're one lucky guy.
Now...
Copy !req
806. where's Lucille?
Copy !req
807. Ah, Lucille!
Copy !req
808. I do have this coupon for a cremation.
Copy !req
809. Rick?
Copy !req
810. I am so sorry for your loss.
Copy !req
811. What is it?
Copy !req
812. I know I said some things,
Copy !req
813. but now more than ever,
I realize...
Copy !req
814. we can never be together.
Copy !req
815. I don't believe you.
Copy !req
816. You love me, Rick.
I know you do.
Copy !req
817. Jill, trust me.
I'm telling you this for your own good.
Copy !req
818. I don't love you.
Copy !req
819. You're no longer in my five.
Copy !req
820. How could you?
Copy !req
821. When I was young
Copy !req
822. I never needed anyone
Copy !req
823. Makin' love was just for fun
Copy !req
824. Those days are gone
Copy !req
825. All by myself
Copy !req
826. Don't wanna be
Copy !req
827. All by myself
Copy !req
828. Anymore
Copy !req
829. All by myself
Copy !req
830. Don't wanna be
Copy !req
831. All by myself.
Copy !req
832. You can't keep getting lucky, man.
Copy !req
833. You only beat me
by two strokes this time.
Copy !req
834. And the back nine is what killed.
Copy !req
835. Oh my God!
Copy !req
836. - Look at this place.
- Yo, what are you doing, man?
Copy !req
837. You gotta pull yourself together, dude.
Copy !req
838. What's the point?
Copy !req
839. Look at you...
eating junk food,
Copy !req
840. wearing fake beards,
Copy !req
841. and we found your costume
in the garbage outside.
Copy !req
842. Yeah, well, I'm not
the Dragonfly anymore.
Copy !req
843. But you said the Hourglass
was going to kill thousands of people.
Copy !req
844. I told you I'm no hero.
All right? Aunt Lucille's dead,
Copy !req
845. I've rejected the only girl
I've ever loved
Copy !req
846. and I can't even fly.
Copy !req
847. I wish I'd never been bitten
by that stupid dragonfly.
Copy !req
848. And maybe your father
shouldn't have given you this after all.
Copy !req
849. Look at the words
your ancestors inscribed in that ring.
Copy !req
850. "Honor, valor, sacrifice,
Copy !req
851. duty, commitment,
bravery, justice,
Copy !req
852. integrity, brotherhood,
Copy !req
853. self-esteem, low prices,
affordable housing,
Copy !req
854. loose-fitting pants,
cheap internet porn."
Copy !req
855. The rest is in Latin.
Copy !req
856. Rick, the hero's path is dangerous.
Copy !req
857. You may fail or you may fly.
All that matters
Copy !req
858. is that you do it
for the best of reasons.
Copy !req
859. Helping others, Rick,
Copy !req
860. that's what makes you a real hero.
Copy !req
861. Maybe you're right,
Copy !req
862. but even if I wanted to stop
the Hourglass,
Copy !req
863. I wouldn't know where to start.
Copy !req
864. I mean, where's he gonna
find thousands of people in one place?
Copy !req
865. Look.
Copy !req
866. Reporting here live from the
Empire City convention center
Copy !req
867. where thousands of people
are in one place,
Copy !req
868. but none of them more important
Copy !req
869. than the attendees
of the World Humanity Awards.
Copy !req
870. I'll drive.
Copy !req
871. Well, that shortcut
through the playground...
Copy !req
872. sure saved us some time.
Copy !req
873. You go ahead,
Copy !req
874. I'll find a place to park.
Copy !req
875. Mister, please stop!
Copy !req
876. Each year the World Humanity Awards
Copy !req
877. are held to honor
the greatest achievements
Copy !req
878. on behalf of all humanity.
Copy !req
879. This gala event is expected to draw
Copy !req
880. the world's most prestigious
leaders to Empire City.
Copy !req
881. - Excuse us, excuse us!
- "Empire City Times."
Copy !req
882. Damn! Look,
there go Prince Charles.
Copy !req
883. And Nelson Mandela.
Nelson!
Copy !req
884. Hey, I was in jail too, man.
Copy !req
885. One of the guests here
is the Hourglass.
Copy !req
886. But which one?
Copy !req
887. Thank you so much
for inviting us, Mr. Landers.
Copy !req
888. Well, when you're being
honored by the world,
Copy !req
889. you want your family with you.
Copy !req
890. Perhaps one day, you could
be part of our family too.
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891. Ladies and gentlemen,
our first award
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892. is for the medical
breakthrough of the year.
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893. For his company's pioneering work
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894. in the field of feminine hygiene
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895. I award Lou Landers
douchebag of the year.
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896. Douchebag
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897. He's the douchebag of the year
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898. Now ain't he great, folks?
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899. Ain't he grand?
The douchebag of the year.
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900. Douchebag
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901. He's Mr. Douchebag of the year
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902. Look at him smile,
look at him shine
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903. He's the douchebag of,
the douchebag of the year.
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904. Hold up the douchebag!
Hold up the douchebag, sir.
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905. Stop right there, Landers.
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906. Mr. Riker.
So...
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907. you know.
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908. You're damn right I do.
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909. Someone in this auditorium
is the Hourglass.
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910. I need your help
to figure out who it is.
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911. Now the Hourglass could be anyone...
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912. a guest of honor...
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913. maybe even a stagehand.
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914. This may be nothing,
but I did see a man
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915. with what looked like a canister of
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916. cerillium.
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917. Who?
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918. This year's lifetime
achievement award...
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919. Him.
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920. ...goes to one of the world's
greatest souls,
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921. His Holiness,
the Dalai Lama.
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922. This man isn't who you think
he is, he's the Hourglass.
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923. No no,
I'm a man of peace.
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924. Shut up! You're plotting
to kill all these people
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925. and I can prove it.
Show the world
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926. the armor you're hiding
under these robes.
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927. You can't fool me,
Hourglass.
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928. You're packing 10 Ibs
of Cerillium under there.
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929. What?
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930. Take him down.
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931. Tutu.
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932. Peace!
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933. Pea...
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934. Shit shit shit shit shit.
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935. You!
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936. You're the Hourglass.
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937. Hourglass!
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938. - Hero con?
- It's a convention for people
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939. who like to dress up
as their favorite heroes and villains.
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940. - By the way, your costume sucks.
- Out of my way!
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941. Hourglass, you'll never
get away with this!
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942. Forget it, Dragonfly.
You're too late.
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943. Run!
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944. Yeah.
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945. Goodbye...
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946. little fly.
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947. Dragonfly!
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948. No!
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949. My eye!
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950. Dragonfly, you must stop the Hourglass.
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951. I can't.
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952. I can't fly.
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953. If there is one lesson
my life can teach,
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954. it is that the spirit
is stronger than the body.
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955. The hero comes from within.
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956. Those are Celine Dion lyrics.
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957. Whatever.
It's still true.
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958. You're right.
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959. It's working.
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960. Sorry.
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961. Watch, Dragonfly,
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962. as your city dies.
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963. Where... am I?
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964. You're with me,
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965. your lover.
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966. Dragonfly!
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967. No.
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968. - No.
- Only now do you understand.
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969. Oh, come...
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970. Aha!
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971. I need you to yank this off.
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972. Yeah.
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973. There's not enough time.
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974. Oh fuck.
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975. - It's over.
- Dragonfly!
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976. Jill!
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977. Gotcha.
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978. Rick?
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979. You didn't think I'd let anything happen
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980. to the girl I love, did you?
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981. Well, we're still falling.
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982. Damn it!
If only I could fly.
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983. Maybe I wasn't cut out to be a hero.
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984. You know, maybe I was meant
to have a normal job... an accountant,
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985. a gym teacher.
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986. - This is a really tall building.
- Rick!
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987. I don't care what happens anymore.
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988. If I die, I die happily in your arms.
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989. You're my hero, Rick Riker,
and I love you.
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990. Yes!
Oh, thank God!
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991. We only have 50 stories left.
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992. Hang on.
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993. Thank you, Dragonfly.
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994. Because of you, our city
is safe at last.
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995. - You said it, Dr. Hawking.
- Shit!
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996. It's a happy ending for us all.
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997. Let's go get some dinner. I'm buying.
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998. Who am I?
I'm Rick Riker.
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999. I'm the Dragonfly.
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1000. And as long as there's
crime and injustice
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1001. I will forever be a superhero...
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1002. I am the Hourglass!
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1003. Darkness has found you,
evil surrounds you
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1004. No one to save you,
we're almost out of time
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1005. What do you do when
nothing can be done?
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1006. Where do you go
with nowhere left to run?
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1007. Where is the one
who stands up and tells you
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1008. I'm here to save you?
We're almost out of time
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1009. Nobody knows just who
he's trying to be
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1010. Behind this mask, his wings
and suit of green
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1011. Just in time to reach up
for the sky
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1012. And fly away
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1013. Don't worry you're safe
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1014. In my arms,
'cause it takes your love
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1015. To lift me up,
it's safe to say
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1016. Jill and I were always meant to be
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1017. So I will show you why
I'm here to stay
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1018. Don't they know that
I'll protect you?
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1019. Don't they know
they'll have to get through
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1020. Me
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1021. Don't worry yourself...
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1022. Hourglass: Your time is up!
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1023. Watch out behind you
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1024. This is designed to
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1025. Quickly remind you
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1026. We're almost out of time
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1027. Somebody tell me what
he's trying to be
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1028. Behind his mask, his wings,
his suit of green
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1029. Just in time to reach up
for the sky
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1030. And fly away
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1031. Don't worry you're safe
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1032. In my arms,
'cause it takes your love
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1033. To lift me up,
it's safe to say
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1034. Jill and I were always meant to be
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1035. So I will show you why
I'm here to stay
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1036. Don't you worry,
I'm the one
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1037. Who let's them know
that I'll protect you
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1038. Don't they know they'll
have to get through me?
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1039. Don't worry you're safe...
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1040. In my arms so green
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1041. It's easy.
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1042. Mr. Hawking I'm such a fan, I'd
love to show you my project on supernovas
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1043. You have an incredible ass...
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1044. ...stromony career ahead of you.
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1045. I need a hero
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1046. I need a hero
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1047. I'm calling out,
I want you here
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1048. This is my 911
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1049. I'm sinking down into the fear
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1050. That I just can't outrun
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1051. To save myself all I can see
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1052. Is that I've got no choice
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1053. I cry for help and pray you'll be
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1054. The one who hears my voice
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1055. I need a hero
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1056. Someone to rescue me
when I'm in a mess
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1057. Whenever I'm falling,
someone to be my safety net
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1058. I need a hero watching over me
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1059. I need a hero in my time of need
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1060. To fix it when it's going wrong
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1061. To be big and strong,
you know that I need a hero
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