1. No, man, I'm just saying'...
I'm sayin' if... if you ownCopy !req
2. the beach property, right...Copy !req
3. - Mm-hmm?
- Do you own, like,Copy !req
4. the sand and the water?Copy !req
5. Nobody owns the water.
God owns... It's God's water.Copy !req
6. What if someone walks onto your beach, right?Copy !req
7. Let's say if you do own it.Copy !req
8. No, man, you don't own the beach.Copy !req
9. What you own is sand on the beach, man.Copy !req
10. Here. Here, man.Copy !req
11. What if there's a naked girl on the beach?Copy !req
12. That girl's not yours. You don't own the girl.Copy !req
13. What if she breaks her foot on your property?Copy !req
14. She could sue me.Copy !req
15. Sue me! Sue me!Copy !req
16. - Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
- Holy shit!Copy !req
17. Ditch it, man! Ditch it!Copy !req
18. - Dude, can you eat it?
- The whole bag?Copy !req
19. Fuck it!Copy !req
20. Hey, Mike, um,
while you're at it?Copy !req
21. - Those are 'shrooms, dude!
- Come on, man, just eat it!Copy !req
22. Mike, uh...Copy !req
23. - I hate to ask, but, uh... for the team?
- I can't eat that!Copy !req
24. - No! Throw it out the window!
- Okay! Okay! Okay!Copy !req
25. All right, I'm doin' a drop.Copy !req
26. - I'm goin' for a drop.
- Just opening the window.Copy !req
27. - It's gone. It's gone.
- We're cool. It's cool.Copy !req
28. Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!Copy !req
29. - We're dead!
- All right, all right.Copy !req
30. Windows down! Windows down!Copy !req
31. Windows down!
Put the windows down!Copy !req
32. All right, we're cool.
We're cool.Copy !req
33. God, did you see that?Copy !req
34. It must have been,
like, a double homicideCopy !req
35. or something fuckin' cool.Copy !req
36. - We was freakin' out, man.
- Man, I almost had a heart attack.Copy !req
37. Mike, you didn't eat both those bags,
did you?Copy !req
38. Come and get it.Copy !req
39. You must have eaten, like,
a hundred bucks worth of pot...Copy !req
40. and, like, 30 bucks worth of shrooms, man.Copy !req
41. Who's the man?Copy !req
42. So, I'm gonna... I'm gonna need
130 buck, you know...Copy !req
43. whenever you get a chance.Copy !req
44. - Fuck, man.
- That... That's not really cool, man.Copy !req
45. Is that the same car, man?Copy !req
46. - D... Do I look high?
- Yeah.Copy !req
47. Here they... Here they come.Copy !req
48. Lick on it.
Just lick it or somethin'.Copy !req
49. Be cool, be cool.Copy !req
50. License and registration.Copy !req
51. Uh, Officer, I know that...Copy !req
52. License and registration, please.Copy !req
53. The regis...Copy !req
54. - You know how fast you were goin'?
- What?Copy !req
55. - How fast you were goin'?
- Uh, 65?Copy !req
56. - Sixty-three.
- Officer, isn't... isn'tCopy !req
57. the speed limit 65?Copy !req
58. Yeah, it is.Copy !req
59. - Where you boys headed?
- Canada.Copy !req
60. C... Canada. We're goin'
over the border to Canada...Copy !req
61. - for some French fries and gravy, sir.
- Poutine.Copy !req
62. Canada, huh? Almost made it.Copy !req
63. - Are you okay?
- Yeah, sure.Copy !req
64. - Yes, sir?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
65. - No, did you say, "Yes, sir"?
- I think he said, "Yeah, sure."Copy !req
66. - What'd you say, man?
- Well, I said, "Yeah, sure,"Copy !req
67. but what, literally, I said
was, "Yeah, sure, sir."Copy !req
68. - So you are okay then?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
69. You smell somethin', Rabbit?Copy !req
70. Fear.Copy !req
71. Now hand over that registration.Copy !req
72. Yes, sir.
My mother's gonna kill me.Copy !req
73. Holy, shit. This is... This is... This is...
Don't look. Don't look.Copy !req
74. - Oh, my God.
- I don't get it, man.Copy !req
75. Am I fucked up or is this fucked up, man?Copy !req
76. This shit is fuckin' crazy.Copy !req
77. Shit, man. I was just
about to pull out my Nine...Copy !req
78. and put a cap in that pig's ass.Copy !req
79. Oh, fuck!Copy !req
80. Oh, my God!Copy !req
81. Shit!Copy !req
82. Fuck!Copy !req
83. Pull the vehicle over!Copy !req
84. - I'm... I'm already pulled over, man!
- Pull over farther, man!Copy !req
85. I can't pull over...
Sir, I'm already pulled over!Copy !req
86. He's already pulled over!Copy !req
87. He can't pull over any farther!Copy !req
88. License and registration, please.Copy !req
89. - But I... I just gave you it, Officer.
- License and registration.Copy !req
90. You know how fast you were goin'?Copy !req
91. - Uh, sixty-five?
- Sixty-three.Copy !req
92. I'm freakin' out, man.Copy !req
93. You are freakin' out, man.Copy !req
94. You want to know why I pulled you over?Copy !req
95. - Littering.
- Officer, that... that's not ours.Copy !req
96. - Candy bars!
- Littering and... Littering and...Copy !req
97. - And, uh...
- Littering and...Copy !req
98. Littering and, uh... Littering and, uh...Copy !req
99. Littering and, uh...Copy !req
100. Littering and smoking the reefer.Copy !req
101. Now to teach you boys a lesson,
Officer RabbitCopy !req
102. and I are gonna stand here...Copy !req
103. while you three smoke the whole bag.Copy !req
104. Please, no.Copy !req
105. - Please, yes...
- Fuckin' pig!Copy !req
106. Mother of God.Copy !req
107. Whoo!Copy !req
108. We're in high-speed pursuit of a white MiataCopy !req
109. headin' southbound on 2-9-4.Copy !req
110. Request back-up.Copy !req
111. Unit 91, come in, 91.
Unit 91, come in, 91.Copy !req
112. What are you doing out there, 91?
Quit counting your pubes out there.Copy !req
113. We got a hell-raiser in a white Miata.Copy !req
114. Ninety-one, are you there?
Ninety-one?Copy !req
115. Ninety-one, are you there?Copy !req
116. Hey, good-lookin'.
You catch any speeders today?Copy !req
117. - Whoo!
- What the fuck!Copy !req
118. Let's go, 91.Copy !req
119. Rabbit, get that gun out!Copy !req
120. Aw, Mac, you fucker!Copy !req
121. Greetings.Copy !req
122. - You guys are too slow.
- You killed my dummy.Copy !req
123. Mac, now I'm gonna pay you.
But I shouldn't, 'cause I knewCopy !req
124. it was you the whole time.Copy !req
125. Thorny, don't lie in front of the rookie.Copy !req
126. It sets a bad example.Copy !req
127. - Foster, where are your shoes?
- What, are you the shoe police now?Copy !req
128. I am, and you owe me
20 laps around the bar. Let's go.Copy !req
129. Your black magic only works on the rookie.Copy !req
130. That's brown magic.Copy !req
131. - Pay up.
- When do I get to do that?Copy !req
132. You'll get your chance,
Rook. Shots?Copy !req
133. - Yeah.
- That's a lot of booze.Copy !req
134. - Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
- I'm impressed.Copy !req
135. Jesus!Copy !req
136. Sorry, boys, you're on duty.Copy !req
137. - On your tab, Officer Womack?
- Rookie, pay the lady.Copy !req
138. Unit 23. Come in, 23.Copy !req
139. Unit 23. Come in, 23.Copy !req
140. Do you need me out there?
Do you need my assistance?Copy !req
141. - Shut up, Farva.
- I can be there...Copy !req
142. Listen, we got the Miata.
We're okay.Copy !req
143. What about those dopers you picked up?Copy !req
144. Do you need my assistance?Copy !req
145. The snozberries taste like snozberries.Copy !req
146. - Oh, shit!
- He killed the cops!Copy !req
147. - Oh, shit!
- He killed the cops!Copy !req
148. - Get out of the car, man!
- This is a cop car!Copy !req
149. - Hello.
- You boys like Mexico?Copy !req
150. Yeeeee-hoooooo!Copy !req
151. One, two, three, do it!Copy !req
152. Oh, go, girlfriend.
I'm your mother.Copy !req
153. Come on, Thorny. You're losing to
the rookie. It's embarrassing.Copy !req
154. Come on, Rabbit. You can do it.Copy !req
155. Oh, Rabbit, he's killing you.
I got Thorny in front by a lot.Copy !req
156. What's the matter, your mama
didn't teach you how to chug?Copy !req
157. Come on, Thorn. Come on, Thorn.Copy !req
158. Goddamn it.Copy !req
159. I am all that is man.Copy !req
160. - Every time.
- Finish it up.Copy !req
161. See, there you have it.
You're doing it all wrong.Copy !req
162. You gotta open your throat, relax the jaw.Copy !req
163. Don't forget to cup the balls.
You're never gonna win...Copy !req
164. with those thin little
bird lips you got there.Copy !req
165. This guy's got these big old powerful lips.Copy !req
166. Am I correct, Thorn?Copy !req
167. So much of my authority is
derived from the power right here.Copy !req
168. Hey, guys.Copy !req
169. Wow.Copy !req
170. - Uh, do you have any more syrup?
- Sorry, Urs.Copy !req
171. Why couldn't they chug ketchup?Copy !req
172. It's a good thing you
didn't order hash browns.Copy !req
173. I mean,
if they had been chugging the ketchup.Copy !req
174. You get the score of that
Red Sox game last night?Copy !req
175. - I turned it off just after...
- Ah, waiter. There you are.Copy !req
176. I will have the enchilada platter
with two tacos and no guacamole.Copy !req
177. - Smy?
- Yeah, Chief, I'll take a chinchilla.Copy !req
178. I don't get it. Tacos?Copy !req
179. They think I'm Mexican.Copy !req
180. You're not Mexican?Copy !req
181. Another highway cop?
What, are you guys multiplying?Copy !req
182. Yeah, if they can figure
which hole to stick it in.Copy !req
183. Ah, what the fuck?Copy !req
184. - Hey, I saw that!
- Sit down, Rando.Copy !req
185. That's it!Copy !req
186. Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey!
All right, all right!Copy !req
187. - Cut it out, you turkeys!
- He fuckin' started it!Copy !req
188. I'm sorry, Bruce. These boys
get that syrup in them...Copy !req
189. they get a little antsy in their pantsy.Copy !req
190. You just can't keep them under control.Copy !req
191. You should keep these
dogs on a leash, John.Copy !req
192. Let's go.Copy !req
193. - Hail to thee!
- Hail to thee!Copy !req
194. - Hail to thee!
- Hey, all right!Copy !req
195. Hey, what's up, bone diddlies?
Did I miss the song?Copy !req
196. Sing it again, rookie biatch.Copy !req
197. Farva.Copy !req
198. - Forgot the coffee.
- My bad, Cap.Copy !req
199. All right, all right.
Let's get started.Copy !req
200. I got the latest shit list, gentlemen.Copy !req
201. It's down to Flagstone,
Deer Lick and us.Copy !req
202. And if we keep up these low numbers,
you can bet your sweet butts...Copy !req
203. we're gonna get the big, ugly axe.Copy !req
204. - Who'll bust heads on the highway?
- The goddamn local cops, that's who!Copy !req
205. And you better believe
that Grady and his goons...Copy !req
206. have got a copy of this list,
so we need to step it up.Copy !req
207. Who wants cream?Copy !req
208. Nobody? Okay, no cream.Copy !req
209. Foster, how many tickets
did you issue last week?Copy !req
210. Uh, I don't have my figures
here in front of me.Copy !req
211. Three.Copy !req
212. - I can't make 'em speed.
- Try hidin'.Copy !req
213. And grow a goddamn moustache,
why don't ya?Copy !req
214. I haven't shaved in two weeks.Copy !req
215. - I'm growin' mine.
- Oh, you're growin' yours, are ya?Copy !req
216. I'll tell you when
it's time to grow a moustache.Copy !req
217. Coffee's served!Copy !req
218. Oh, no! That's Rabbit's.
That's Rabbit's.Copy !req
219. - I get it. It's Rabbit's.
- Oh, look, a bar of soap.Copy !req
220. Oh, shit!
I got you good, you fucker!Copy !req
221. - Awesome prank, Farva.
- Better than the crap you pull, Frank.Copy !req
222. - Look, fellas...
- Bite it, Rook.Copy !req
223. Make him look like a dick.Copy !req
224. Every Thursday night I walk
into the Lodge to play Hearts...Copy !req
225. and they always have my
Old-Fashioned just waiting there.Copy !req
226. - I like that. I like it here.
- Bite it. Bite...Copy !req
227. Oh, hell!
Give me the goddamn soap!Copy !req
228. We got 50 miles of highway here.
That stretch of highway is ours.Copy !req
229. I'll be damned if I'll let
Grady and those butt headsCopy !req
230. get their hands on it!Copy !req
231. Thorny, you're the ranking officer here.Copy !req
232. Let's do your jobs
and keep this place open, huh?Copy !req
233. Let's do it. Farva!Copy !req
234. Your suspension continues.
Hit the radio.Copy !req
235. Oh, yes.Copy !req
236. Oh. Oh, local Smokeys on our turf.Copy !req
237. All right, hit it.Copy !req
238. See, that's what O'Hagan
was talking about.Copy !req
239. Hi. You guys forget what colour your car is?Copy !req
240. - Bye-bye.
- Later, dude.Copy !req
241. - Bye-bye.
- Later, dude.Copy !req
242. All right, how about 'Cat Game'?Copy !req
243. Cat Game?
What's, uh, what's the record?Copy !req
244. Thorny did six...Copy !req
245. - but I think you can do ten.
- Ten?Copy !req
246. Starting right meow?Copy !req
247. - Uh, sorry about that.
- All right, meow...Copy !req
248. hand over your license and registration.Copy !req
249. Your registration?
Hurry up meow.Copy !req
250. Sorry.Copy !req
251. There somethin' funny here, boy?Copy !req
252. No, no, no.Copy !req
253. Well, then, why you laughing,
Mr. Larry Johnson?Copy !req
254. - All right meow, where were we?
- Are you saying "meow"?Copy !req
255. Am I saying 'meow'?Copy !req
256. - I... I... I thought...
- Don't think, boy.Copy !req
257. Meow, do you know how
fast you were going?Copy !req
258. Meow, what is so damn funny?Copy !req
259. I could have sworn you said "meow".Copy !req
260. Do I look like a cat to you, boy?Copy !req
261. Am I jumping around all
nimbly-bimbly from tree to tree?Copy !req
262. - No. No.
- Am I drinkin' milk from a saucer?Copy !req
263. - No.
- Do you see me eatin' mice?Copy !req
264. Now you stop laughin' right meow.Copy !req
265. Yes, sir.Copy !req
266. Meow, I'm gonna have to
give you a ticket on this one.Copy !req
267. - But...
- No "buts" meow. That's the law.Copy !req
268. It's not so funny meow, is it?Copy !req
269. Meow!Copy !req
270. Ooo-wee-ooh!Copy !req
271. Thanks for washing my car, Rook.Copy !req
272. - You know what this is?
- A chamois cloth?Copy !req
273. Ha! Lucky guess.
I just lost a buck...Copy !req
274. to myself.Copy !req
275. - Think that's funny, do you?
- Yeah, I do.Copy !req
276. Also heard something funny
about how you got suspended.Copy !req
277. Something about a school bus full of kids?Copy !req
278. Oh, you heard that, did ya?
Let me tell you anotherCopy !req
279. funny story, New Jack.Copy !req
280. Back in '74...Copy !req
281. the great Charlie Rich was
named Country Musician of the Year.Copy !req
282. Then in '75, he had to hand
the award off to the new one.Copy !req
283. And you know who that was?Copy !req
284. Mr. "Sunshine on My Goddamn Shoulders",Copy !req
285. John Denver.Copy !req
286. - Really?
- Yeah. Can you believe it?Copy !req
287. - Wow!
- Replaced by John Fuckin' Denver.Copy !req
288. - Amazing.
- Yeah.Copy !req
289. Well, I'll be damaged
if Mr. Rich didn't pull outCopy !req
290. his cigarette lighter right there...Copy !req
291. and light that award on fire
in front of everyone.Copy !req
292. Do you get it?Copy !req
293. So you're saying you'll set
my Country Music Award on fire?Copy !req
294. I'm saying when my suspension's up,
you better watch your ass.Copy !req
295. Or you'll light my ass on fire?Copy !req
296. You wanna go, Mister?
You wanna take one?Copy !req
297. Make your first move.Copy !req
298. Hey!
I hate to break up the honky convention,Copy !req
299. but we got a 10-92.Copy !req
300. You wanna take this one, Rod?Copy !req
301. Hell, yeah!Copy !req
302. I bet you do... Ohh!Copy !req
303. Nice wax job, Rook.Copy !req
304. - Thank you, sir.
- You...Copy !req
305. What the hell is this?
We got local pigs runnin' around?Copy !req
306. How'd the locals beat us here?
We're, like, ten miles out.Copy !req
307. Look at this chump.
Oh, Mr. Tough Guy here.Copy !req
308. Take a walk, buddy, take a walk.Copy !req
309. Holy shit!
It's a cool Winnebago.Copy !req
310. My Uncle Denny used
to have one just like this.Copy !req
311. Rabbit, put your game face on.Copy !req
312. You got it, boss.Copy !req
313. - Hey, what the fuck?
- Oh-oh!Copy !req
314. Oh, yes.Copy !req
315. Oh, man! What happened here?Copy !req
316. Take a walk, sonny.Copy !req
317. This investigation is already under control.Copy !req
318. Well, now it is.Copy !req
319. - Hey!
- Don't touch the crime scene, rodent!Copy !req
320. Rabbit. Hey, look at that.
Johnny Chimpo.Copy !req
321. - Quit slappin' me.
- Would you stop touchingCopy !req
322. my rookie, Grady?Copy !req
323. Hey, I'll touch you.Copy !req
324. This is the Spurbury Police.
Put your hands upCopy !req
325. and come outta there!Copy !req
326. Get the fuck out of here!Copy !req
327. - Glamour pet.
- Okay, let's cruise.Copy !req
328. No dice. Get your tape.Copy !req
329. Sounds like y'all have a hog problem.Copy !req
330. Oh, watch it, Mac.Copy !req
331. Mac, I'm serious.
Be careful, Mac. He's angry.Copy !req
332. - He's angry? Well, hello.
- Hey, mark it off.Copy !req
333. - Smy, you mark it off.
- Back it up, Grady. I'm serious.Copy !req
334. What's the point? Didn't you guys
get shut down already?Copy !req
335. Oh, yeah, that's next week.Copy !req
336. Your bust. You know there's
a dead chick in there?Copy !req
337. Move it, Ramashit!Copy !req
338. - Take it up with O'Hagan!
- Fight, fight, fight!Copy !req
339. Mac.Copy !req
340. Get off of me! Get off!Copy !req
341. I'll give you the fat guy for Foster and, uh...Copy !req
342. how about that stupid guy for Rabbit?Copy !req
343. Well, you're gonna have
to be more specific.Copy !req
344. They're both kinda fat and stupid.Copy !req
345. Get these damn handcuffs
off now, Ramathorn!Copy !req
346. - Cut him loose.
- Go ahead, Smy.Copy !req
347. You want to tell me what bug
crawled up your big ass, Grady?Copy !req
348. Yeah, I will tell you.
This is our crime scene.Copy !req
349. We are takin' it.Copy !req
350. It's highway.
It's our jurisdiction.Copy !req
351. No. No.Copy !req
352. This highway is closed.
This is our jurisdiction.Copy !req
353. Aw, fuck it.
You deal with the hog.Copy !req
354. Hey, Chief.Copy !req
355. What in hell's gotten into you guys?Copy !req
356. I told you to be good.
I told you this was a bad time.Copy !req
357. But you go ahead and get into
a battle royale with the localsCopy !req
358. at a crime scene.Copy !req
359. - What? But they started that fight.
- Of course they started the fight.Copy !req
360. Now they've taken
a jurisdictional grievance against us.Copy !req
361. They want us to blow it.Copy !req
362. I mean,
a murder on the highway...Copy !req
363. and you give them the investigation.Copy !req
364. Christ! We look like a bunch of pussies.Copy !req
365. All right, come on out, Rabbit.Copy !req
366. I guess I just go take a shower then, huh?Copy !req
367. Ow!Copy !req
368. Strike three!
You're out of there!Copy !req
369. All right, good cut, Ruthie.
Good cut. Come on.Copy !req
370. Next batter! Batter up!
Next batter! Let's go.Copy !req
371. But, Thorn,
if they do shut you down...Copy !req
372. maybe you could stick around here?Copy !req
373. I don't know,
get a different job?Copy !req
374. You can always come work in my shop.Copy !req
375. Yeah, retired cop goes to work for his
hippie girlfriend in her head shop.Copy !req
376. Too sitcom, darlin'.Copy !req
377. Okay. You better pay
attention, Coach. Our son's up.Copy !req
378. All right, Arlo.
Watch the ball. Get a hit.Copy !req
379. You got it.Copy !req
380. - Let's do it.
- All right, Arlo.Copy !req
381. Whoa!Copy !req
382. - Hey, you gotta keep on your toes.
- Do somethin' about that, ref.Copy !req
383. Sorry-ass local cops.Copy !req
384. You think you have a nice
relationship with someone...Copy !req
385. based on professional courtesy
and mutual boredom.Copy !req
386. The next thing you know,
they're trying to take you out.Copy !req
387. What? What?Copy !req
388. I don't wanna get transferred.Copy !req
389. Have to go be a rookie again
with a bunch of random dudes.Copy !req
390. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
391. If it happens, we'll, uh,
we'll all just stay here,Copy !req
392. open up a roller disco.Copy !req
393. Throw him the heat. Bring it on.Copy !req
394. Uh, anybody want a corn dog?Copy !req
395. See if they got any chocolate bananas.
Foster?Copy !req
396. Ohh!Copy !req
397. Hey, Charlie's Angel.Copy !req
398. Hey, congratulations.
You're the one millionthCopy !req
399. person to say that to me.Copy !req
400. - Oh. What do I win?
- Ooh. Um...Copy !req
401. Ahh. There you go.Copy !req
402. Hope I don't get brain freeze.Copy !req
403. I'm not sure you've got
the required equipment.Copy !req
404. So, listen, I, um, had a really good
time at that Winnebago fight.Copy !req
405. Maybe, uh, I don't know,
we could do it again sometime.Copy !req
406. All right, all right.
Fair is fair.Copy !req
407. You can slug me back if you want to.Copy !req
408. - Really? Okay.
- Yeah.Copy !req
409. Hold my snow cone.Copy !req
410. - Okay.
- Heads up!Copy !req
411. Hey, what happened over there?Copy !req
412. What? Wh... Why?Copy !req
413. How about a little pep, hmm?Copy !req
414. From those guys over there.Copy !req
415. Assholes.Copy !req
416. You want to move that,
buddy. Now!Copy !req
417. - So, about my field time.
- Yeah, yeah. I've beenCopy !req
418. thinkin' a lot about that.Copy !req
419. I think I might be able
to talk to Grady for you.Copy !req
420. - Pink stick, eat it or lose it.
- Hey, shut your pie hole, buddy.Copy !req
421. I mean,
because I'm ready to go out on patrol.Copy !req
422. I'm goin' nuts being on
the radio all the time.Copy !req
423. I'd like to get some field work.Copy !req
424. Yeah? Why don't you take your radio
and go stand in a field.Copy !req
425. Move that gigantic cotton candy!Copy !req
426. Goddamn it! How's the view
from sugar heaven, bitch?Copy !req
427. Hi. I'm looking for Chief Grady.
I have some files for him.Copy !req
428. Grady's not here.
I'll take the file.Copy !req
429. It's kind of important.
How about Officer Rando?Copy !req
430. Nope.Copy !req
431. What do you need?
I'm the only one here?Copy !req
432. There are no male officers around?Copy !req
433. Just give me the file.Copy !req
434. What's this?Copy !req
435. So you originally from Vermont or, uh,
or what?Copy !req
436. You know, you've got a lot of
courage, walkin' into the lion's den.Copy !req
437. - Oh, I got brass buns.
- Mm. You should join the band.Copy !req
438. What are your cells,
eight by eight?Copy !req
439. Ours are nine by nine.
No big deal.Copy !req
440. Listen, you seem like a really nice guy,
but I just don't date cops.Copy !req
441. I'm not much of a cop, really.
More like a civilianCopy !req
442. trapped in a cop's body.Copy !req
443. Oh. Well, I hear you can
get an operation for that.Copy !req
444. But then, I guess you'd miss out on all
those wacky things you highway guys do.Copy !req
445. Yeah, those stories about us
are mostly lies, really.Copy !req
446. Except for the one about how
we pulled over AC/DC's bus...Copy !req
447. and then they flew us down
to Jamaica to party with them;Copy !req
448. that one's true.Copy !req
449. But, yeah, other than that,
it's pretty boring out there.Copy !req
450. Yeah, well, I wouldn't know.Copy !req
451. All right, it's probably time
for you to get out of here.Copy !req
452. - I don't want to get fired too.
- Oh, I'm not getting fired.Copy !req
453. I'm gettin' shut down.
That's a big difference.Copy !req
454. In our cells,
the door is over here.Copy !req
455. Right.Copy !req
456. A couple of hyenas.Copy !req
457. Well, you know,
they are speeding.Copy !req
458. - Come in, Radio.
- Don't call me Radio, Unit 91.Copy !req
459. Then don't call me Unit 91, Radio.Copy !req
460. - Are you done?
- Yeah, okay, Radio.Copy !req
461. We got a suspicious vehicle.
White Caprice, Vermont plates.Copy !req
462. Tijuana-Gringo-Water-Fiver-Zero.Copy !req
463. - Roger. Checking.
- Thank you, Radio.Copy !req
464. Unit 91, that license plate belongs
to a local Spurbury police vehicle.Copy !req
465. It does? Oh, my God!Copy !req
466. - Very funny, 91.
- Thank you, Radio.Copy !req
467. Whoa! Looks like that truck's planning onCopy !req
468. skipping the weigh-in.Copy !req
469. Yeah, well, you don't weigh in,
you don't wrestle.Copy !req
470. Whoa! What's this jack-off doin;Copy !req
471. trying to pull him over?Copy !req
472. There's no fuckin' way that is happenin'.Copy !req
473. - What the hell's he doin'?
- I got somethin'.Copy !req
474. Yeah. That's right, doofus.
Move it along.Copy !req
475. You, uh, wanna do "Repeat"?Copy !req
476. Why, do you wanna do 'Repeat'?Copy !req
477. No. I've been thinking a lot
about what the captain said.Copy !req
478. I'd like to play it
straight this time, okay?Copy !req
479. Okay.Copy !req
480. - For O'Hagan.
- For O'Hagan.Copy !req
481. Good morning.Copy !req
482. Would you mind stepping down from there
with your license and registration?Copy !req
483. - Sure. I was just...
- Good morning.Copy !req
484. Would you mind stepping down from there
with your license and registration?Copy !req
485. - Yeah. No problem.
- Excuse me one second.Copy !req
486. No.Copy !req
487. Excuse me one second. No.Copy !req
488. Did, uh, I do something wrong, officers...Copy !req
489. because I know I wasn't speeding.Copy !req
490. - Why didn't you weigh in?
- Yeah, why didn't you weigh in?Copy !req
491. Did I miss that weigh station?Copy !req
492. They got me runnin' so many miles...Copy !req
493. I just must have dazed out and well...Copy !req
494. I'll pull into the next one
and get weighed up, okay?Copy !req
495. - What are you pulling back there?
- What are you pulling back there?Copy !req
496. Well, uh,
mostly just soap, I think.Copy !req
497. - Why don't we take a look?
- Why don't we take a look?Copy !req
498. Listen, Officers, I'm on a really
tight schedule. I really need to...Copy !req
499. Let's go, Mr. Galikanokus.Copy !req
500. Well, you heard him.
Let's go, Mr...Copy !req
501. Mr. Galonukum.Copy !req
502. Hop on up.Copy !req
503. Okay-silly-dilly-dokey-o.
I'm an idiot.Copy !req
504. Yeah, that's true.Copy !req
505. Sorry about the light there.Copy !req
506. I have a flashlight in the cab.Copy !req
507. - Hey! Mr. Galikanokus!
- Whoa!Copy !req
508. Mr. Galikanokus!Copy !req
509. - We should have seen that comin'.
- We should have seen that comin'.Copy !req
510. - It is time to stop now, Mac.
- It is...Copy !req
511. time to stop now, Mac?Copy !req
512. And that was the second time I got crabs.Copy !req
513. - Awesome.
- Afternoon.Copy !req
514. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
515. It stinks like sex in here.Copy !req
516. What happened?Copy !req
517. We got a little distracted by
somebody doin' the Repeater.Copy !req
518. - Huh. That'll happen.
- That will happen.Copy !req
519. Well, you did it this time.Copy !req
520. Fishin' your car out
of Lake Leblanc right now.Copy !req
521. Oh, man.Copy !req
522. Nah, we just parked it across the street.Copy !req
523. All right, listen. Next time
this kind of thing happens...Copy !req
524. I want you to stop,
take a deep breath...Copy !req
525. and pull your heads out of
each other's asses, would ya?Copy !req
526. Language.Copy !req
527. It's easy for you to say, you know.
He's got a tiny little head.Copy !req
528. Yeah.Copy !req
529. What's this guy movin'?Copy !req
530. Soap, I think.Copy !req
531. Reefer.Copy !req
532. Whoo-hoo!
That's one stinky pyramid.Copy !req
533. We should've built a
stinky igloo and climb in.Copy !req
534. - That's a lot of pot.
- Thinkin' back to your tour daysCopy !req
535. with the dead, Rabbit?Copy !req
536. - Better lock this shit up, huh, buddy?
- What are you talkin' about, man?Copy !req
537. Enhance.Copy !req
538. Enhance. Enhance.Copy !req
539. Just print the damn thing!Copy !req
540. All right, what do we know
about this Galikanokus guy?Copy !req
541. It's a fake name, fake license.Copy !req
542. - Bunty Soap?
- Fake soap company.Copy !req
543. What, plastic fake?
Decorative fake? What?Copy !req
544. No, like they don't exist.Copy !req
545. So, we got 150 kilos
of marijuana and no arrests.Copy !req
546. We got nothin'.Copy !req
547. I got a theory, Cap.Copy !req
548. These, uh, bales of pot, they have that
red Johnny Chimpo sticker on them.Copy !req
549. And that dead woman in the Winnebago had
the same logo tattooed on her back.Copy !req
550. See, a lot of drug dealers
use stickers to mark their products.Copy !req
551. Like a brand name.Copy !req
552. See! Where'd you learn that,
Cheech? Drug school?Copy !req
553. Shut up, Farva.Copy !req
554. Did that bag you pulled off those
college kids have that sticker?Copy !req
555. Um...Copy !req
556. I don't believe it did.Copy !req
557. Was there any marijuana
on that Winnebago?Copy !req
558. Nope.Copy !req
559. A monkey tattoo.
Sounds kinda flimsy.Copy !req
560. What's the significance
of this John Chimpo fella?Copy !req
561. Uh, well, you know those really
cheap Japanese cartoons?Copy !req
562. No? This is basically
a cheaper Afghani knock-off.Copy !req
563. It's this monkey that basically
travels around the world...Copy !req
564. uh, doing nasty things.Copy !req
565. His butler tries to keep him in line, but, uh...Copy !req
566. No.Copy !req
567. It's really funny, Cap.
It's Afghanistanimation.Copy !req
568. The monkey has a butler? Great.Copy !req
569. Is that what they do in Arabia, Thorny?Copy !req
570. How the hell should I know?Copy !req
571. All right. Somebody get me
a VTR copy of this thing.Copy !req
572. I'll talk to Grady, see if he'll let
us take a look at the Winnebago.Copy !req
573. All right.
You ready for the photo shoot?Copy !req
574. Okay, fellas, let's take it.Copy !req
575. - Pull down your pants.
- Shut up, Farva, you idiot.Copy !req
576. Come on, do it.Copy !req
577. John. I'm not interrupting, am I?Copy !req
578. Mad Timber!Copy !req
579. - No. Come in, come in.
- Good work, gentlemen,Copy !req
580. all the way around.Copy !req
581. - Could I get in on that?
- Sure. Why not?Copy !req
582. Excuse me. Good work.
Good work, Officer.Copy !req
583. Hey.Copy !req
584. You're gonna have a hard time
shutting us down now,Copy !req
585. right, Mr. Mayor?Copy !req
586. We got a murder one day,
a drug bust the next.Copy !req
587. I'm thinkin' we need
as much police as we can get.Copy !req
588. - That'd be a good slogan, wouldn't it?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
589. Tell that to the budget committee.Copy !req
590. I just got off the phone
with Governor Jessman...Copy !req
591. and she's gonna be swinging through here
on her way to Burlington.Copy !req
592. Give me a gun, huh,
to hold for the pictures.Copy !req
593. - Rabbit, run. Gun.
- And, John...Copy !req
594. as far as this brawling with
the local police is concerned...Copy !req
595. It won't happen again, Bill.
I'm onto it.Copy !req
596. Good.Copy !req
597. 'Cause when the governor shows up,
I'm gonna throw her a little party.Copy !req
598. We're gonna let her know just how this
community feels about its law enforcement.Copy !req
599. Spread it on!Copy !req
600. Come on, Dad! Faster! Faster!Copy !req
601. So what's the deal with you and Bobbi?Copy !req
602. Come on, Dad! Dad?Copy !req
603. You guys are goin' out, but you,
um, sleep with other people?Copy !req
604. Well, I mean, yeah.
Not really. Kind of.Copy !req
605. It's sort of a long story,
all right?Copy !req
606. Well... Hey, Arlo, does Mom
ever have any friends over?Copy !req
607. - Any older boys?
- Can't we turn the siren on?Copy !req
608. In a minute, all right?
Are you listening?Copy !req
609. Does she have anyone over
that maybe you call uncle?Copy !req
610. Like Uncle Fred?Copy !req
611. Uncle Fred? Who's Uncle Fred?Copy !req
612. He's this crazy bird on TV.Copy !req
613. He's crazy.
He flies around like a pigeon.Copy !req
614. Oh, right.Copy !req
615. Uncle Freddy, he's great.
He's a crazy bird.Copy !req
616. Okay.Copy !req
617. We got one.Copy !req
618. You wanna take this one, kid?Copy !req
619. - What about you?
- I gotta stay with little A.Copy !req
620. - You're okay, right?
- Sure.Copy !req
621. - Go on. Make mama proud.
- All right.Copy !req
622. Yeah, Farva, I got a Porsche,
brown, Washington plates...Copy !req
623. - Eight-Donna-Peanut-Eunuch.
- Roger. Checking.Copy !req
624. Kill it.Copy !req
625. Can I please see your license and registra...Copy !req
626. I'm sorry, Officer,
for the speeding violation.Copy !req
627. I am so used to driving on the Autobahn.Copy !req
628. Uh... What?Copy !req
629. He looks like Sean Cassidy, doesn't he?Copy !req
630. Yeah, I agree. Yummy, yummy.Copy !req
631. Nicht?Copy !req
632. Do you know why I pulled you over?Copy !req
633. Because we were driving way too fast.Copy !req
634. - Ja.
- Ja.Copy !req
635. Officer,
this is a major problem...Copy !req
636. because I cannot afford another
ticket with mein Porsche.Copy !req
637. Is there maybe something
I can do for you, hmm?Copy !req
638. Or maybe my wife...Copy !req
639. could do for you to avoid this dilemma?Copy !req
640. Is there maybe something
you would like me to do to you?Copy !req
641. Or maybe something you would
like to do to me? Hmm?Copy !req
642. Uh, 'cause you were doing 90 in a 65.Copy !req
643. Perhaps some spanking
or cuffing is in order.Copy !req
644. Could you hold on a minute?
Just a minute. I'll be right back.Copy !req
645. Oh, the methodical police has a big trunk.Copy !req
646. - Twenty-three, that Porsche is hot.
- Are you sure?Copy !req
647. Rabbit!Copy !req
648. Rabbit?Copy !req
649. - Please, Thorn, not now. No.
- He can join too, if you like.Copy !req
650. - Get over here.
- Tickle, tickle.Copy !req
651. - Ja.
- Hold on a second.Copy !req
652. Just one second, huh?Copy !req
653. - What?
- Farva said that car is stolen.Copy !req
654. What? Stolen?Copy !req
655. - Shit!
- Is there a problem, officers?Copy !req
656. Hold on! Come on, Thorn,
I need this.Copy !req
657. Look, kid, any other day,
I'd step in hereCopy !req
658. and show you how to swing.Copy !req
659. But the car's stolen.Copy !req
660. Goddamn it!Copy !req
661. You got to get over there
and you got to cuff her.Copy !req
662. Do it!
You're a highway patrolman.Copy !req
663. Cut it out! Do it.Copy !req
664. Now turn that off
and step out of the car, sir.Copy !req
665. - This is no problem, hmm?
- Put your hands on the car and spread 'em.Copy !req
666. - Ah, now some fun for both of us.
- Get back in the car!Copy !req
667. Rabbit, get over there and cuff her.Copy !req
668. - Up against the car.
- Ma'am, I hate to do thisCopy !req
669. to you, but would you...Copy !req
670. would you please put
your hands behind your back?Copy !req
671. Now things are getting kinky.Copy !req
672. Arlo!Copy !req
673. - I love your...
- I'm on the radio.Copy !req
674. Come in, Farva.Copy !req
675. Arlo! Rabbit! Let's go!Copy !req
676. Climb up on Uncle Rabbit's lap, Arlo, okay?Copy !req
677. I don't think that's
such a good idea, Thorn.Copy !req
678. Uh, right.Copy !req
679. Okay, why don't you just
sit in the middle, buddy?Copy !req
680. Ursula, what the fuck?
There's no T.P. in the bathroom.Copy !req
681. What about the piece stuck to your shoe?Copy !req
682. What about the piece stuck to my shoe?Copy !req
683. Shit!Copy !req
684. You know, you might get ahead around here
if you made the extra effort.Copy !req
685. Why? Do you want me to wipe your ass?Copy !req
686. That's not what I...Copy !req
687. Well, around my house,
my wife knows to refill the T.P.Copy !req
688. - I'm not your wife, Smy.
- No. And if you were,Copy !req
689. I'd take you down a peg or two.Copy !req
690. Ooh.Copy !req
691. Hi, douche bag.Copy !req
692. You know, if you were my wife...Copy !req
693. I'd massage your feet every
night until you fell asleep.Copy !req
694. Nice try.Copy !req
695. He strangles her and
puts her face in pig food?Copy !req
696. What an asshole.
Got any I.D. on the corpse?Copy !req
697. Yeah. Jane Doe. Do you know her?Copy !req
698. Oh, we're working on it.Copy !req
699. It's called routine police work.Copy !req
700. Apparently, she had a cartoon
monkey tattooed on her back.Copy !req
701. John Chimpo, I'm told.Copy !req
702. And those cannabis bags in our truck...Copy !req
703. those stickers had the same monkey logo.Copy !req
704. So we think there might be
some kind of connection.Copy !req
705. Are you suggesting that a cartoon
monkey is bringing drugs into our town?Copy !req
706. Look, I know we don't like each other.Copy !req
707. I like you.Copy !req
708. Come on! I'm looking
for a little cooperation here.Copy !req
709. John Chimpo.Copy !req
710. Hanson, could you round up,
uh, Johnny Chimpo...Copy !req
711. and, uh, Jerry Giraffe
and Arty the AlligatorCopy !req
712. and bring them in for a line-up.Copy !req
713. - Thanks, sweetie.
- Sounds like they're having fun.Copy !req
714. That's what happens when you start
hanging out with a state trooper.Copy !req
715. We show you the funny.Copy !req
716. Well, where were we?Copy !req
717. Uh, you were laying your best rap on me
and I was resisting.Copy !req
718. But you were starting to think about it.Copy !req
719. I told you.
I don't touch highway hog.Copy !req
720. Baby, I'm Sizzle Lean.Copy !req
721. I scratched your back, Bruce.
I scratched it good and hard.Copy !req
722. Now, either you scratch my back
or you're gonna get my size tenCopy !req
723. boot up your ass!Copy !req
724. Desperation is a stinky cologne, John.Copy !req
725. Let's see. You are an expendable
line item on a state spending bill.Copy !req
726. You have a station full of crappy cops.Copy !req
727. I am about this far away
from having a bigger budget.Copy !req
728. And now, you come in here talking about...Copy !req
729. monkey tattoos on some drunk lady's tit
like it's a goddamn drug conspiracy.Copy !req
730. Keep your bags packed, John. Let us
handle the real police work, huh?Copy !req
731. Uh, John, when you do get shut
down, you come back, talk to me.Copy !req
732. I can always use a good meter maid.Copy !req
733. Let it roll.Copy !req
734. Come and get me, Mac.Copy !req
735. - See you later, sucker!
- Ohh! Ohh! Fuck!Copy !req
736. Can't catch the Rabbit.Copy !req
737. - Damn it!
- Out of the car!Copy !req
738. Out of the car, scumbag!Copy !req
739. Well, hello, Shirley.Copy !req
740. Come on, Farva, man.
Same team. Same team.Copy !req
741. What's Thorny going to say, Rook?Copy !req
742. Honestly, Bobbi.
I think it's gonna happen.Copy !req
743. We don't want to leave, Thorn.
We really like this town.Copy !req
744. I'll probably just get
sent down to Brattleboro.Copy !req
745. It's a nice town.Copy !req
746. I don't think it's
a healthy time for him to move.Copy !req
747. He's got a lot of real good friends here.Copy !req
748. Who? That creepy kid with the lisp?Copy !req
749. Hey. Stop jumping on the bed.Copy !req
750. Look, I don't want to go without you.Copy !req
751. - Then you should stay here.
- But I can't if they transfer me.Copy !req
752. Hey, stop jumping on the bed.Copy !req
753. Yippee-ki-yay, motherfucker.Copy !req
754. Hey, honey, it's almost Mitternacht, huh?Copy !req
755. Uhh. We really should
be getting back to the jail.Copy !req
756. You don't want us turning into pumpkins.Copy !req
757. Thorn, can't they just stay a little longer?Copy !req
758. All right.
Who wants a moustache ride?Copy !req
759. - I want one. I want one!
- I do! I do! I do!Copy !req
760. - Spurbury Police.
- Oh, thank the Lord.Copy !req
761. Thank the Lord. It's terrible.Copy !req
762. Oh, there's a disgusting
pervert flashing people.Copy !req
763. Ma'am, I need you to calm down.Copy !req
764. I can't calm down!
You calm down! Oh, my God!Copy !req
765. - Ma'am, tell me your location.
- He's right in front of the building...Copy !req
766. on 323, uh, Karuna Street.Copy !req
767. - That's this address, ma'am.
- Oh, well, then, maybe you can see him.Copy !req
768. He's right in front of the building.
Go look. I'll hold.Copy !req
769. Whoo-aaah!Copy !req
770. Did you see him?
Oh, he's disgusting.Copy !req
771. - He certainly is, ma'am.
- Oh, I think he's going to the window again.Copy !req
772. Whoo-ooo-ooo!Copy !req
773. Oh, the humanity!
He's so bulgy. He's like a moose.Copy !req
774. Oh, no! I think he's going back again.Copy !req
775. Freeze, motherfucker!Copy !req
776. Oh, God! Please don't shoot me.
I... I'm naked.Copy !req
777. Drop your coat and grab your toes.Copy !req
778. - What?
- I'm gonna show youCopy !req
779. where the wild goose goes.Copy !req
780. Oh, this isn't happening.
I... I... I'm a police officer. Ursula, help!Copy !req
781. Baby, I'm gonna butter your bread.Copy !req
782. You don't have these at your station?Copy !req
783. I don't suppose you got a pair of fresh
underwear I could borrow?Copy !req
784. I'm not sure you could fit into my panties.Copy !req
785. You know, you can't tell
anybody about this.Copy !req
786. I already told my mom about you.Copy !req
787. - Shit!
- Baby, you rocked me.Copy !req
788. Wow! What is this?Copy !req
789. Rabbit, you're off the road!Copy !req
790. - It's a good move, Cap.
- Shut up, Farva!Copy !req
791. Rabbit, you're on radio.
Farva, you're ridin' with Thorny.Copy !req
792. - Wait a minute...
- What do you want me to do about it?Copy !req
793. My hands are tied!
It's all over the police band!Copy !req
794. Rabbit, you couldn't have
picked a worse time!Copy !req
795. I got a Q-17 request form today.Copy !req
796. We have to inventory our equipment.Copy !req
797. Which means our balls are
this close to the band saw.Copy !req
798. What are you sellin',
Mac, hot dogs?Copy !req
799. - There's a new billboard.
- Casino le Fantastique?Copy !req
800. Let me guess.Copy !req
801. You just humped the mayor's wife
and burnt down City Hall.Copy !req
802. I'll do you one better, Captain.Copy !req
803. So I'm walkin' down
by the local police station,Copy !req
804. minding my own business.Copy !req
805. But there's something funny in the air.Copy !req
806. I feel like I just gotta
get into that Winnebago.Copy !req
807. So after I jimmy the door,
I do a quick recon.Copy !req
808. Bullshit.Copy !req
809. I can see there's something
not right about that bed.Copy !req
810. - So I busted it in.
- Bullshit.Copy !req
811. And just sittin' there
were ten huge duffel bagsCopy !req
812. of these mothers.Copy !req
813. Let me get this straight.
You went into the impound,Copy !req
814. scaled the fence...Copy !req
815. broke into the Winnebago and
smashed the bed, all on a hunch?Copy !req
816. I'll believe that when me shit turns
purple and smells like rainbow sherbet.Copy !req
817. What? Do you think I just grew this weed?Copy !req
818. How could you know to
look underneath the bed?Copy !req
819. It must have been my sixth...
or even my seventh sense.Copy !req
820. You know, Rabbit, a good cop doesn't
really know why he does anything.Copy !req
821. - Disregard that, Rabbit.
- And you didn't even thinkCopy !req
822. to call in your partner?Copy !req
823. So these local mothers
have got a hundred keysCopy !req
824. of chiba and don't even know it?Copy !req
825. Not a clue. It's totally hidden.Copy !req
826. And Grady's walkin'
around like he's hot soup.Copy !req
827. All right, we got a chance here.Copy !req
828. But we got to beat these
guys to the punch.Copy !req
829. Mac, you and Foster
check out the truck stops...Copy !req
830. and find out what you can
about Galikanokus and Bunty Soap.Copy !req
831. I'll talk to Grady and play a little hardball.Copy !req
832. Thorny, I'm takin' a hard line.Copy !req
833. You got to promise me no more bullshit.Copy !req
834. Cap, you know I'm cool, but I can take no
responsibility for these white devils.Copy !req
835. Well, you're gonna have to.Copy !req
836. Now, Rodney, we're under
a lot of pressure here.Copy !req
837. Remember what we talked about.
If anything happens...Copy !req
838. count to ten,
take some deep breaths.Copy !req
839. Ten deep breaths. I got it, Cap.Copy !req
840. Foster, you're on duty.Copy !req
841. Trust me, skipper,
we'll make you proud.Copy !req
842. You are awesome.Copy !req
843. You are incredible.
You are a fantastic cop.Copy !req
844. Keep goin'.Copy !req
845. Uh, and then somebody said,
I think it was O'Hagan, said, um...Copy !req
846. "Foster, you deserve a promotion."Copy !req
847. I think you get a star.Copy !req
848. Foster? Wait.
I don't know if this is gonna work.Copy !req
849. This steering wheel is jabbing my ass.Copy !req
850. Ow! Okay.Copy !req
851. In New York City, a guy could pay ten bucks
to watch two cops have sex in a cage.Copy !req
852. Yeah?Copy !req
853. - Foster?
- Yeah?Copy !req
854. In our cruisers, somebody has to
let you out of the back seat.Copy !req
855. Oh, fuck it!Copy !req
856. Do we look like the two dumbest guys
in the world to you?Copy !req
857. Is that why you choose to treat us
with such disrespect?Copy !req
858. Look, all I'm sayin', man,
is switch partners. It'll be fun.Copy !req
859. - I don't think so.
- Come on, mix it up a bit.Copy !req
860. Mm, no fuckin' way.Copy !req
861. Come on, Mac, you know you're always
sayin' how funny Foster smells.Copy !req
862. Oh, look out for Thorny,
master of psychology.Copy !req
863. Do I really smell?Copy !req
864. All right, assholes,
quit talkin' about me.Copy !req
865. Lock and load, Ramathorn.
Let's kick some tail.Copy !req
866. We weren't talkin' about you,
you big idiot.Copy !req
867. Bullshit.Copy !req
868. - Truck stop, huh?
- We gotta do it.Copy !req
869. But the captain didn't say anythingCopy !req
870. about going undercover.Copy !req
871. Do you think they're gonna tell us anythingCopy !req
872. if they know we're cops?Copy !req
873. Get a job, man!
Look, you're fuckin' super cop.Copy !req
874. You should know this.Copy !req
875. - I am super.
- Plus, we can't take our car...Copy !req
876. until they replace the door you, for no
reason whatsoever, removed last night.Copy !req
877. I told you it was those
kids with the wrenches.Copy !req
878. Ah, yes, those ballsy little punks
who took your car door off...Copy !req
879. while you were sittin' in the damn thing.Copy !req
880. I told you I was in a very deep sleep.Copy !req
881. Yeah. You wanna tell that to O'Hagan?
Maybe we can borrow his car today.Copy !req
882. Do you even know how to drive this thing?Copy !req
883. Shit! This rig sucks!Copy !req
884. Aha!Copy !req
885. Uh, who knew it was a stick?Copy !req
886. How about we, uh,
pop a couple of Viagra...Copy !req
887. and issue tickets
with raging, mega-huge boners?Copy !req
888. Only you, Farva,
can make a dark man blush.Copy !req
889. - And, no, we're not doin' it.
- Ah, hell.Copy !req
890. Hey, I came up with a
great name for our car.Copy !req
891. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
892. Get this.
You're Arcot Ramathorn... Ram...Copy !req
893. and I'm Rod Farva... Rod; car Ramrod.Copy !req
894. Car Ramrod. You get it?Copy !req
895. Yeah, I got it.Copy !req
896. - Rabbit, I got a Plymouth Voyager...
- Say "Car Ramrod".Copy !req
897. - Say "Car Ramrod".
- Vermont plates... Hold on.Copy !req
898. Vermont plates...
Alpha-God-Mustard-One-Niner-Decade-China.Copy !req
899. - Check it.
- Roger, 23.Copy !req
900. - You didn't say it.
- Oh, I forgot.Copy !req
901. I wrote it on the paper.Copy !req
902. - Oh, yeah.
- Come on, Ramathorn, what game are we playin'?Copy !req
903. - What? No games.
- Don't bullshit me.Copy !req
904. Let's play one of those games
I keep hearin' about.Copy !req
905. You know, Mac and Foster...Copy !req
906. did that thing, you know, with the
"who can say pussy the most."Copy !req
907. You know, actually, Mac bet Foster
he couldn't say "meow" ten times.Copy !req
908. To the driver.Copy !req
909. I realize that doesn't
sound funny as I described...Copy !req
910. Who can say "meow" the most?Copy !req
911. You guys are real crazy.Copy !req
912. Hey, look out for these guys!Copy !req
913. Hell, I can say "meow". I can say "moo".Copy !req
914. For 20 bucks, I'll call the guy
a chicken-fucker.Copy !req
915. Easy, Rod. Easy, Rod.
Easy, Rod. Easy, Rod.Copy !req
916. License and registration...
chicken-fucker! Brawwk!Copy !req
917. - Bruce? John O'Hagan.
- John!Copy !req
918. I'm glad you called. Listen. I have
Bobby the Baboon in lock-up...Copy !req
919. and he says that for twenty bananas he'll
provide evidence...Copy !req
920. Johnny Chimpo is the pimp in charge
of the Cartoon Network whorehouse.Copy !req
921. Look, I'm done dickin' around. We
got new evidence on your murder.Copy !req
922. Who? Galikanokus?
You know where he is?Copy !req
923. No, we don't know where he is, but...Copy !req
924. Then I don't see how you can
possibly help us, then.Copy !req
925. Okay. This is my last offer.Copy !req
926. Either you let us in on this investigation...Copy !req
927. or I'm gonna embarrass you personally.Copy !req
928. Oh, how embarrassed?Copy !req
929. Like, naked in a dream embarrassed?Copy !req
930. No, no. Embarrassed like back in '77, when you
got caught fuckin' your cousin embarrassed.Copy !req
931. She's not my cousin.Copy !req
932. Welcome to Dimpus.
Can I take your order?Copy !req
933. Give me a, uh,
double bacon cheeseburger.Copy !req
934. Double baco cheeseburger.
It's for a cop.Copy !req
935. Roger.Copy !req
936. What the hell's that all about?Copy !req
937. He gonna spit in it now?Copy !req
938. No, I was just tellin' him
that so he makes it good.Copy !req
939. Don't spit in that cop's burger.Copy !req
940. - Yeah. Thanks.
- Roger. Holding the spit.Copy !req
941. Give me a, uh, pie. Apple.Copy !req
942. Do you want me to hold the spit?Copy !req
943. Just kidding, Officer... Farva.Copy !req
944. So, do you want to "Dimpisize" your meal
for a quarter more?Copy !req
945. Want me to "punchisize" your face for free?Copy !req
946. Some male figure? I'm his dad. And
stop with the whole transfer thing.Copy !req
947. Oh, Christ.Copy !req
948. You know what? I gotta go. Let's
talk about this later, okay?Copy !req
949. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
950. - Now don't give me any lip.
- It's just a quarter, andCopy !req
951. look how much more you get.Copy !req
952. - I said no!
- It's just 25 cents.Copy !req
953. Hey, listen, guy.
He doesn't want it.Copy !req
954. I can handle this, Ramathorn.Copy !req
955. - I don't want it!
- Right. Uh, beverage?Copy !req
956. Gimme a, uh, litre of cola.Copy !req
957. - A what?
- A litre of cola!Copy !req
958. "Leederacola". Do we make Leederacola?Copy !req
959. Will you just order a large, Farva?Copy !req
960. I don't want a large Farva.
I want a goddamn litre of cola!Copy !req
961. - I don't know what that is!
- Litre is French...Copy !req
962. for "give me some fuckin' cola
before I break both fuckin' lips."Copy !req
963. All right, all right. Relax!Copy !req
964. - That look like spit to you?
- Yeah.Copy !req
965. Ah, fuck it.Copy !req
966. Mm. I feel like a real cop again.Copy !req
967. Well, I wouldn't get used to it,
'cause you know it's not gonna last.Copy !req
968. Bullshit.
I'm not goin' anywhere.Copy !req
969. All right, buddy.Copy !req
970. We're about to get shut down anyway.Copy !req
971. Oh, yeah? That's a lot of Dimp.Copy !req
972. What do you do if you get transferred?Copy !req
973. I don't know.Copy !req
974. Bobbi doesn't want to leave, and...Copy !req
975. I don't want to leave her and Arlo, so...Copy !req
976. Yeah, I don't know what
the hell I'm gonna do.Copy !req
977. Who gives a shit? I'm about to win
ten million bucks anyway, right?Copy !req
978. Are ya? What are you going to do
with that ten million bucks?Copy !req
979. And you can't say,
"Buy the Cleveland Cavaliers."Copy !req
980. I'd buy a ten-million-dollar car.Copy !req
981. Ah, good investment.Copy !req
982. - But I'd pull you over.
- Bullshit. You could never catch me.Copy !req
983. Oh, I could never catch you?Copy !req
984. If you did, I'd activate my
car's wings, and fly away.Copy !req
985. I got a good feelin' about this.Copy !req
986. Damn it, you burger punk!Copy !req
987. You son of a bitch!Copy !req
988. Yeah, Burger Boy!Copy !req
989. All right, all right, all right.Copy !req
990. Cut it out, you guys.
Knock it off.Copy !req
991. Clear out of here. All of you.Copy !req
992. I'm sorry about the delousing, Rod.Copy !req
993. Standard procedure.Copy !req
994. - It's powdered sugar.
- The lice hate the sugar.Copy !req
995. - Listen, Rod...
- It's delicious.Copy !req
996. Uh, good. Good.Copy !req
997. Say, Rod, what are your plans
after the shutdown?Copy !req
998. We're not gettin' shut down,
Grady. We're drug busters.Copy !req
999. Maybe they're drug busters,
but you're dispatch.Copy !req
1000. Nuh-uh.
I'm back on the road, now.Copy !req
1001. Until this little incident.Copy !req
1002. Listen, Rod.Copy !req
1003. This whole murder thing, we've been
tryin' real hard to break it open...Copy !req
1004. but O'Hagan just will not
cooperate with the evidence.Copy !req
1005. Now I've spoken to the governor myself.Copy !req
1006. She is gonna shut your station down, son.
It's gonna happen.Copy !req
1007. Now, I'm gonna have a bigger budget then,
and I could really use...Copy !req
1008. a good local officer like yourself.Copy !req
1009. - Could I go now?
- You could have your own car.Copy !req
1010. Work on exciting cases. Hey, we could
even chase drug dealers together.Copy !req
1011. Now, the thing is, Rod...Copy !req
1012. I really need to know about
your side of the investigation.Copy !req
1013. O'Hagan's making all
kinds of threats, and...Copy !req
1014. Can we make a deal?Copy !req
1015. I'm all highway.Copy !req
1016. Let him loose.Copy !req
1017. Sorry about that, bro.Copy !req
1018. Hey, Charlie's Angel.Copy !req
1019. - What's up?
- Guys.Copy !req
1020. Hey.Copy !req
1021. Well, we got about, uh,
twenty desk lamps.Copy !req
1022. - Farva went schizoid.
- That's good.Copy !req
1023. How did the undercover thing go?Copy !req
1024. Well, not so good.Copy !req
1025. Turns out, this guy can't drive a semi.Copy !req
1026. Yeah.Copy !req
1027. You guys watch that Johnny Chimpo thing?Copy !req
1028. - Funny, but nothin' there.
- Mm. Maybe you missed something.Copy !req
1029. Mm, trust me, bro.
There's nothing there.Copy !req
1030. Maybe we should take another look.Copy !req
1031. That's it, you're off the road.
Never again.Copy !req
1032. Sir, no.Copy !req
1033. - It was not my fault.
- Neither was the goddamn school bus.Copy !req
1034. You know, there was a time we'd take a guy
like you out back and beat you with a hose.Copy !req
1035. Now you got your goddamn unions.Copy !req
1036. Cap, you know I'm not a pro-union guy.Copy !req
1037. And you're banned from Dimpus Burger.Copy !req
1038. Damn it!Copy !req
1039. Get some rubber gloves. From now
on, you're my cleaning lady.Copy !req
1040. Beat it!Copy !req
1041. Well, the butler is basically
saying to Johannes Chimpo...Copy !req
1042. "Don't let the Great Satan tempt
you with the Western culture.Copy !req
1043. "You must remain true
to the Taliban warlord."Copy !req
1044. Cool beans.Copy !req
1045. So, um, Galikanokus is not the butler?Copy !req
1046. Well, possibly. But this is,
uh, quite brilliant, really.Copy !req
1047. And so, Captain, you think there might
be some connection with the smugglers?Copy !req
1048. Rabbit, get this meatball out of here.Copy !req
1049. You got it, Captain.
Come on, meatball.Copy !req
1050. We should probably do that.Copy !req
1051. Back in the cage with
your beautiful wife, huh?Copy !req
1052. What did you find out at the weigh station?Copy !req
1053. My cruiser weighs 16,000kg.Copy !req
1054. I just got off the phone with Tom
McCardle from the budget committee.Copy !req
1055. This thing with Farva screwed our pooch.Copy !req
1056. What?Copy !req
1057. They can't lump us in
with that fuckin' Martian.Copy !req
1058. - We're all in the same boat, fellas.
- But our shenanigans are cheeky and fun.Copy !req
1059. Yeah. I mean, his shenanigans
are cruel and tragic.Copy !req
1060. Which makes them not
shenanigans at all, really.Copy !req
1061. Evil shenanigans.Copy !req
1062. I swear to God I'll pistol-whip the
next guy that says, "shenanigans".Copy !req
1063. Hey, Farva!Copy !req
1064. What's the name of that restaurant you like,
with all the goofy shit on the walls...Copy !req
1065. - and the mozzarella sticks?
- You mean Shenanigans?Copy !req
1066. - No! Oh!
- You're talking about Shenanigans, right?Copy !req
1067. Put those away!Copy !req
1068. Hey, Rabbit.Copy !req
1069. Yeah, I know. "You got
beautiful, big brown lips."Copy !req
1070. Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1071. Have your fun, boys.
Have your fun.Copy !req
1072. 'Cause I'm gonna
start looking for a new job.Copy !req
1073. Hey! Urs! Ha!Copy !req
1074. - Hi.
- Hi. Sorry I'm late.Copy !req
1075. The mayor came down today.Copy !req
1076. Ah, biker! I'm an idiot.Copy !req
1077. Boy, you guys just keep
shooting yourselves in the foot.Copy !req
1078. - Heard you got to see Farva naked.
- Yeah, it was hard to miss.Copy !req
1079. So, Grady thinks he's
got you guys by the balls.Copy !req
1080. Yeah. How do you feel about
long-distance relationships?Copy !req
1081. Think I'm getting sent to Deer Lick.Copy !req
1082. Well, I've been thinking about this.Copy !req
1083. I think I might have an idea.Copy !req
1084. The governor comes to town on
Saturday for that big thing, right?Copy !req
1085. She's gonna make a big speech
about drugs and law enforcement...Copy !req
1086. and all of that because of your bust.Copy !req
1087. She's still gonna shut us down.Copy !req
1088. No! Not if you give her more.Copy !req
1089. Get the reefer out of the Winnebago
and give it to her during the party.Copy !req
1090. - Make a big show of it.
- With all that media there,Copy !req
1091. she would love us for it.Copy !req
1092. - There's no way she'll shut you down.
- That reefer's locked in the Winnebago...Copy !req
1093. which is locked in your impound,
which is guarded by assholes.Copy !req
1094. All right.
Here's what I'll need.Copy !req
1095. Five ski masks, a case
of smoke bombs... the good ones...Copy !req
1096. - and banana peels, lots of banana...
- Foster?Copy !req
1097. How about if I just help you get in?Copy !req
1098. You would do that for me?Copy !req
1099. Yeah. What the hell.
We'll work together.Copy !req
1100. Like Cagney and Lacey.Copy !req
1101. Yeah. Well, Cagney and Lacey were women.Copy !req
1102. - But...
- I could be Lacey.Copy !req
1103. Mac-o!Copy !req
1104. - So that's it, huh?
- C.C.S. Rockman Bulletproofing is the tops!Copy !req
1105. Same guys who make our flak jackets.Copy !req
1106. Now, Rabbit,
a good cop does what...Copy !req
1107. before using his equipment in the field?Copy !req
1108. - Uh, they test it?
- They test it. Exactly.Copy !req
1109. How are you shootin' today, Thorn?Copy !req
1110. - Dead on all morning.
- How about that little fella?Copy !req
1111. Oh, that little guy? I wouldn't
worry about that little guy.Copy !req
1112. Good enough for me.
You're my man, now.Copy !req
1113. I don't get it. How are we going
to get into the local impound?Copy !req
1114. There are gonna be cops there.Copy !req
1115. Wa-hoo!Copy !req
1116. Most of the local cops will
probably already be at the banquet.Copy !req
1117. They'll leave, like, one or two of
the dumbest guys at the station.Copy !req
1118. - How are you feelin' there, Mac?
- Good enough to fuck your mother!Copy !req
1119. So, what we have to do is distract whoever
they leave there.Copy !req
1120. Hey, Mac! You still have
that Halloween costume?Copy !req
1121. Oh, hell, yeah.
You don't throw out...Copy !req
1122. Wa-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
1123. Damn, that's good!Copy !req
1124. So, if we can get ten minutes, you and I
can get into the impound...Copy !req
1125. get the reefer, and get it to
the governor before she leaves?Copy !req
1126. - Nice and easy.
- I like it.Copy !req
1127. - You're up.
- Me?Copy !req
1128. - Now, don't get puke on it.
- Does it hurt?Copy !req
1129. You're gonna feel a little pinch.Copy !req
1130. Lookin' good, Rabbit!
Now don't move!Copy !req
1131. - Hang on, buddy.
- Hey, Cap!Copy !req
1132. - Hey, Captain.
- Bulletproof cup, huh?Copy !req
1133. I invented this gag, Rabbit.Copy !req
1134. Only in my day,
the rookie got naked.Copy !req
1135. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
1136. And we also used blanks.Copy !req
1137. You're a sick motherfucker, Mac.Copy !req
1138. - Thanks, Chief.
- All right, Thorny.Copy !req
1139. Why'd you call me up here?Copy !req
1140. Good to know you're still battin' for
us with the budget committee, Mayor.Copy !req
1141. Well, I don't want to mince words,
John, but it doesn't look too good.Copy !req
1142. Maybe not to the untrained eye.Copy !req
1143. But if I was a bettin' man,
I'd put money on us changin'Copy !req
1144. the governor's mind tonight.Copy !req
1145. Well, you might want to strap on your
ass-kissing boots and start right now.Copy !req
1146. - I think she's your only hope.
- Hello.Copy !req
1147. What is this thing again?
Humane Society?Copy !req
1148. - Uh, it's a drug bust.
- Cocaine?Copy !req
1149. - Hello.
- Marijuana.Copy !req
1150. - Then why are we here?
- Oh, I think we're prettyCopy !req
1151. well covered, Mr. Mayor.Copy !req
1152. I think she's got a lot of decisions to make.Copy !req
1153. - I don't envy her.
- Oh, I do.Copy !req
1154. I'll be lucky to have a figure
like that when I'm her age.Copy !req
1155. Yeah. That's a good one.Copy !req
1156. We're sending someone down,
don't worry. Okay.Copy !req
1157. Thanks. You bet.Copy !req
1158. No, no, no, no.
We'll bring the guns.Copy !req
1159. We're on it. We're on it.Copy !req
1160. We got it. All right,
that's like twenty calls.Copy !req
1161. I'll tell you what. I'll go down there
and check it out.Copy !req
1162. - What about me?
- Burton, somebody's got to stay here.Copy !req
1163. All right, fuck it.Copy !req
1164. Shit!Copy !req
1165. Maybe this is the key.Copy !req
1166. I mean, no offence, bro, but...Copy !req
1167. when did you become a cop?Copy !req
1168. None taken, Ramathorn.
None taken.Copy !req
1169. Really. How'd you know the key was there?Copy !req
1170. A gentleman never asks.Copy !req
1171. A lady never tells.
Wonder how Rabbit's doin'?Copy !req
1172. Oh, yeah!Copy !req
1173. - Yeah! Yeah!
- What does that look like to you?Copy !req
1174. Is the bear...Copy !req
1175. - Is the guy...
- Oh, yeah. Yeah!Copy !req
1176. - Is the guy...
- Oh, yeah. Yeah!Copy !req
1177. Seems more of a game warden thing to me.Copy !req
1178. Well, it's illegal, Burton.
I know that!Copy !req
1179. Whoo! Oh!Copy !req
1180. Oh, shit. Look who's here.Copy !req
1181. - I thought you said he wasn't gonna make it.
- I tried.Copy !req
1182. - Glad to see you, Rodney.
- Hey, how are you doin', Rowdy?Copy !req
1183. How you think I'm doin'?
Open bar, ain't it?Copy !req
1184. - Thought you said Bowl-a-rama.
- Yeah, I tried to call you, but, um...Copy !req
1185. Yeah, right!Copy !req
1186. - Give me six Schlitzes.
- No Schlitz.Copy !req
1187. - Whatever's free.
- Take it easy, Rod.Copy !req
1188. Open bar, dude!Copy !req
1189. Hello down there. Are you okay?Copy !req
1190. Excuse me.Copy !req
1191. - Bear... Bear-fucker!
- Yeah! Yeah!Copy !req
1192. - Do you need assistance?
- Oh! Oh! Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1193. Okay.Copy !req
1194. Let's do this.Copy !req
1195. Hey, hey, whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
1196. Mayor Timber, yeah. So I just
wanted to let you know...Copy !req
1197. that the governor's gonna
have to leave early.Copy !req
1198. For an emergency fund-raiser.
So...Copy !req
1199. Aw, she's gonna speak
in about five minutes.Copy !req
1200. And then we're gonna
have to zip on out of here.Copy !req
1201. Well, thanks for the heads-up.Copy !req
1202. I'll go check on those guys.Copy !req
1203. Mac-Attack!
Wanna go punch for punch?Copy !req
1204. Good one! I did not specify.Copy !req
1205. Never shit a shitter. Lady
in blue, comin' through.Copy !req
1206. Ramathorn.Copy !req
1207. What? I don't know. Two minutes?Copy !req
1208. You weren't kiddin'. That's a lot of hooch!Copy !req
1209. Holy shit. What's Grady doin' up there?Copy !req
1210. and of course, your own local
police chief, Bruce Grady...Copy !req
1211. has made yet another astonishing breakthrough...Copy !req
1212. in our state's War on Drugs.Copy !req
1213. Now that's fine police work.Copy !req
1214. Thank you very much. The real credit...Copy !req
1215. goes to my skilled officers, who uncovered
the marijuana in that Winnebago.Copy !req
1216. And, uh, we have identified the
dead woman from that Winnebago...Copy !req
1217. as a drug "queenpin"
from Louisville, Kentucky...Copy !req
1218. Lucy Garfield.Copy !req
1219. Or, as we like to call her
down at the station,Copy !req
1220. "The Louisville Smuggler".Copy !req
1221. There will be no more
running of marijuana...Copy !req
1222. through Spurbury on my watch.Copy !req
1223. You can count on that.Copy !req
1224. Farva's number one!
Farva's number one!Copy !req
1225. Hey! You showed Grady our secret stash?Copy !req
1226. That was our stash!Copy !req
1227. - I did not show Grady the stash!
- Those bags of grass...Copy !req
1228. - represented a... a bond of trust between us.
- Foster...Copy !req
1229. Foster, I had no idea...Copy !req
1230. Did you pick me because you
thought you could manipulate me?Copy !req
1231. No! How could you even say that?Copy !req
1232. Because you crapped on my heart!Copy !req
1233. I what on your heart?Copy !req
1234. What are you gettin' out of this? Is Grady
puttin' you on the road?Copy !req
1235. No, a... are you... You're screwing him too.Copy !req
1236. - Asshole.
- Aah!Copy !req
1237. Ursula...Copy !req
1238. - Oh, Mac.
- What the fuck?Copy !req
1239. Fuckin' traitor!Copy !req
1240. Hey, Mac! Did it work?
Did it work?Copy !req
1241. Was there ever a moment
when you suspected her?Copy !req
1242. - No, why would I?
- Exactly.Copy !req
1243. Why use your head when you can be
getting some cop-on-cop fucky-sucky?Copy !req
1244. Well, did you tell her anything?Copy !req
1245. Two cops sleeping together. What the
hell do you think they talked about?Copy !req
1246. I don't know. Doin' it?
Positions and stuff?Copy !req
1247. Oh, shut up.
You guys don't even know her.Copy !req
1248. Get it through your head,
fish dick. She was in on it.Copy !req
1249. Fuck you, Mac!Copy !req
1250. All right, all right. Fighting's
not gonna change anythin'.Copy !req
1251. Foster, she played you good.
It's called the honey pot.Copy !req
1252. You should have known better.Copy !req
1253. Well, I guess they're gonna
shut us down anyway.Copy !req
1254. But you two are friends, you know? You
shouldn't let this come between you.Copy !req
1255. Come on now. Shake hands.Copy !req
1256. - Sorry.
- You should be.Copy !req
1257. Hey!Copy !req
1258. - Sorry.
- Sorry.Copy !req
1259. Good, now. Who wants a shot?Copy !req
1260. I do.Copy !req
1261. - I'll have one.
- I said, who wants a shot?Copy !req
1262. - I do!
- Do you have any openingsCopy !req
1263. in Sherburne, Cap?Copy !req
1264. - Not for you guys.
- Oh, come on.Copy !req
1265. - We're like the sons you never had.
- If you were my son, Mac...Copy !req
1266. I would have smothered you by now.Copy !req
1267. Smothered me in gravy,
you big, dirty man.Copy !req
1268. - You put in for a transfer yet?
- Ugh!Copy !req
1269. I applied for a guard job.
At the post office.Copy !req
1270. - Oh, man.
- You'll finally get to shoot someone.Copy !req
1271. - To the death of fun.
- Here's to you guys.Copy !req
1272. What's up, dirty dogs?Copy !req
1273. Guess that's it for the old locker.Copy !req
1274. She stinks like ass,
but I'll sure miss her.Copy !req
1275. I guess you can say that
about all my girls.Copy !req
1276. - What the fuck?
- What the fuck to you too.Copy !req
1277. - What are you?
- I'm a cop. What are you?Copy !req
1278. - A local cop?
- Grady had an opening. Big deal.Copy !req
1279. Why are you wearing that
uniform in my station?Copy !req
1280. Look who's talkin', Denim Dan!Copy !req
1281. You look like the president,
chairman and C.E.O. of Levi Strauss.Copy !req
1282. Where'd you get the Canadian tuxedo?Copy !req
1283. You ratted us out to Grady.Copy !req
1284. I'm not even gonna dignify
myself with a response to that.Copy !req
1285. Hey, I got no hard feelings. Nothin'
a few beers can't fix, right?Copy !req
1286. Hey, how about one on me, Ramrod?Copy !req
1287. Excuse me. Uh, excuse me, guys.Copy !req
1288. Yeah. I'll be right back.Copy !req
1289. What the fuck?Copy !req
1290. We should have taken him
out the back and shot him a long time ago.Copy !req
1291. - Aye, aye, Captain.
- I gotta call Ursula.Copy !req
1292. Fellas, we got to get him back.
He's gotta pay for this.Copy !req
1293. Nobody wears that uniform in my station.Copy !req
1294. - Farva's goin' down!
- Yes! Right!Copy !req
1295. - Grady's goin' down!
- Yeah!Copy !req
1296. - All of these fuckers are goin' down!
- Yeah!Copy !req
1297. What?Copy !req
1298. Welcome to Dimpus Burger.
May I take your order?Copy !req
1299. Hello in there.
This is Officer Rod Farva.Copy !req
1300. - Give me a litre of cola!
- Uh, sorry, Officer Farva, I can't...Copy !req
1301. You want me to come in there, boy?
I'll come in there, boy!Copy !req
1302. - Hello?
- Chase him! Chase him!Copy !req
1303. - Let's pull someone over.
- Whoa!Copy !req
1304. License and registration.Copy !req
1305. When you gotta go, you gotta go.Copy !req
1306. We are the Spurbury police, man!Copy !req
1307. Whoo! Hoo! Whoa-ho-ho-ho!Copy !req
1308. I'm cool. I'm cool.Copy !req
1309. Grady! Get your ass out here!Copy !req
1310. Grady!Copy !req
1311. I don't want to sound
like a weenie...Copy !req
1312. - but I think I should call Ursula.
- No way!Copy !req
1313. - You sound like a fuckin' weenie.
- Gimme the radio.Copy !req
1314. Grady? Bruce?Copy !req
1315. Fuck it, all right.
Gimme the goddamn radio.Copy !req
1316. - He's not home!
- Hey, Chief-o!Copy !req
1317. This is Officer Rod Farva.
Come in, Ursula.Copy !req
1318. - What're you doin'?
- Ursula! I love you, Ursula.Copy !req
1319. - Come in, Ursula!
- Who is this? Hello?Copy !req
1320. - Oh! Oh!
- Oh, she's there?Copy !req
1321. Ursula! Oh, I'm sorry.Copy !req
1322. Sir, this is a police channel.
Please get off of it.Copy !req
1323. - I'm tryin' to apologize here.
- Sir, this is not a civilian channel.Copy !req
1324. If you'd like to have a conversation
with someone, please go to Channel Five.Copy !req
1325. All right, Thorny.
Pop it over to Channel Five.Copy !req
1326. Look what I found!
A two-by-four!Copy !req
1327. - You go, girl!
- Foster!Copy !req
1328. - Help me out here, Rabbit.
- Foster, is that you?Copy !req
1329. - I need someone sober.
- You got it, Cap.Copy !req
1330. - And, hit!
- My ass in your face, Thorny.Copy !req
1331. So... So, hey, what's goin' on?Copy !req
1332. Don't use that boyfriend voice with me.Copy !req
1333. What are you doing?Copy !req
1334. Don't use that boyfriend
voice with me, Foster!Copy !req
1335. - Hit!
- Yea!Copy !req
1336. Now, did you know that Farva
was the one who told GradyCopy !req
1337. about our plans?Copy !req
1338. Yeah. I know.
He's working for us now.Copy !req
1339. So, I'm sorry about that old thing and...Copy !req
1340. I don't know.
Can I come see you?Copy !req
1341. I love you.Copy !req
1342. - Listen, Foster...
- Ursula! I'm naked!Copy !req
1343. Listen, Foster? You want
to get these guys back?Copy !req
1344. Yeah!Copy !req
1345. I know a way we can
get 'em really good.Copy !req
1346. Yeah, let's get 'em good!
Did you hear that, guys?Copy !req
1347. Yes, sir.Copy !req
1348. Okay, I get off work at 10:30.Copy !req
1349. Meet me at Route 9 and Okeechobee Road,
and don't be late.Copy !req
1350. - She said, "Okeechobee".
- She's okey-dokey.Copy !req
1351. She's late.Copy !req
1352. So, Foster...Copy !req
1353. is this your usual meeting spot?Copy !req
1354. No.Copy !req
1355. - Fuckin' shit!
- That was Galikanokus!Copy !req
1356. Let's get him!Copy !req
1357. Outta the car! Goddamn it!Copy !req
1358. Same shit, different day,
huh, Rabbit?Copy !req
1359. Everybody outta the car!
I said now!Copy !req
1360. You're all under arrest for
stealing a Spurbury police vehicle.Copy !req
1361. No, Farva, you are under arrest for
being a total and complete fuckhead!Copy !req
1362. Y... You don't want to do this, Rod.
We gotta go catch that truck.Copy !req
1363. Using what? Super Citizen power?Copy !req
1364. Galikanuke is on that truck!Copy !req
1365. I'll believe that when
me shit turns purple...Copy !req
1366. - and smells like rainbow sherbet.
- Does it sound like that when I say it?Copy !req
1367. Farva! You are not stopping me
from getting my job back!Copy !req
1368. Get him, Mac!Copy !req
1369. - I got a job now.
- You're a local cop.Copy !req
1370. - You're goddamn right I am!
- You ratted us out!Copy !req
1371. No, Thorny.
I barely had a job before.Copy !req
1372. Farva, get the coffee.
Farva, hit the radio.Copy !req
1373. Farva, clean the cells!
I'm a cop, goddamn it!Copy !req
1374. I got my own car, now.
I get to bust criminals!Copy !req
1375. It's what I gotta do!Copy !req
1376. - You screwed us over.
- No, Thorny.Copy !req
1377. Okay. Okay, I did it! I did, I did.Copy !req
1378. - I'm sorry, Rodney.
- Come on, Rod.Copy !req
1379. - Oh, Thorny!
- No, no, no. Please. Come on.Copy !req
1380. Listen, listen.
This is your big chance.Copy !req
1381. When we go up there,
and we're wrong, no big deal.Copy !req
1382. But if we're right,
you can be a hero.Copy !req
1383. Come on. Team Ramrod!Copy !req
1384. Will you look at that?Copy !req
1385. - We got 'em, Cap.
- We got 'em, we got 'em!Copy !req
1386. - Oh.
- Fuckin' Galikanokus!Copy !req
1387. There's Canadian markings on that plane.Copy !req
1388. Okay, Foster. You and Rabbit come
around in a classic pincer move.Copy !req
1389. - Mac, I need you to take...
- No, no, no, Thorny. Me and you!Copy !req
1390. We outflank 'em, and we do,
like, a submarine move.Copy !req
1391. - Team Ramrod?
- Shut up, Farva.Copy !req
1392. - Farva, you're leaning...
- Wait a minute!Copy !req
1393. Oh! The locals!
I hate those fuckin' guys!Copy !req
1394. Goddamn it, you dipshits! If I had my
car, I'd have been in on this bust!Copy !req
1395. Shh! Rodney! Rodney,
get your ass back here!Copy !req
1396. Here we go again... What the fuck?Copy !req
1397. Oh, did you see that?
He kissed that guy!Copy !req
1398. Shh!Copy !req
1399. Holy shit!Copy !req
1400. God! We should have known.Copy !req
1401. So, wait. The local cops are selling
Afghani grass to the Canadians?Copy !req
1402. - Assholes!
- No, Rabbit,Copy !req
1403. it's comin' in from Canada.Copy !req
1404. Canadian grass. Ah!Copy !req
1405. - Assholes.
- No!Copy !req
1406. The local mothers are
running protection for 'em.Copy !req
1407. Oh, I guess I'm the asshole.Copy !req
1408. I'm sorry we didn't wait for you, but...Copy !req
1409. Listen to me, Foster.
I need to tell you something.Copy !req
1410. - What, are you guys drunk?
- No!Copy !req
1411. Your local buddies
are runnin' grass!Copy !req
1412. Listen, I know. I know. That's
what I want to tell you.Copy !req
1413. I know what they're doing.
I've known for awhile.Copy !req
1414. You know this?Copy !req
1415. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Are you in on it?Copy !req
1416. No! They keep me on dispatch. I didn't
know what to do when I found out about it.Copy !req
1417. - I was afraid I'd lose my job.
- Oh.Copy !req
1418. You should have just told us.
We would have arrested them.Copy !req
1419. - Yeah, we used to be cops, remember?
- I remember...Copy !req
1420. No offence, but the less you guys
knew, the less you could screw up.Copy !req
1421. Oh.Copy !req
1422. I mean, I was trying to stop it
without getting brought down.Copy !req
1423. Th... That's why I helped you find the reefer,
that's why I helped you guys steal the Winnebago...Copy !req
1424. and that's why I brought you... here tonight.Copy !req
1425. You didn't do this because
you like Foster? Shh!Copy !req
1426. No, I mean... I do like Foster, but I...Copy !req
1427. - But you used him.
- Yeah, I guess so.Copy !req
1428. But I really like him now.Copy !req
1429. Ah!Copy !req
1430. - This is so good...
- This is kind of awkward.Copy !req
1431. I hate to break up the "like-fest",
but it's prime time for crime-time!Copy !req
1432. But wait! Hey, hey, hey!
Are you guys kidding?Copy !req
1433. Look at yourselves.Copy !req
1434. You saw what they did to
Galikanokus's girlfriend.Copy !req
1435. And you guys are drunk,
and unarmed.Copy !req
1436. Oh, hey, I am sober as a bird.Copy !req
1437. I am drunk.Copy !req
1438. - What do you got?
- No guns. They got flares.Copy !req
1439. And some string.Copy !req
1440. Oh, Farva, you sad, lonely man.Copy !req
1441. - Ugh.
- Oh, wait.Copy !req
1442. He's got your name written on it.Copy !req
1443. - Oh!
- Ooh.Copy !req
1444. Chief! Chief Grady!
I secured the perimeter, sir.Copy !req
1445. Farva!Copy !req
1446. Sorry I missed the call.
Looks like we got 'em. Rock 'n' roll!Copy !req
1447. What the hell are you doin' here, Farva?Copy !req
1448. Put that pistol down!Copy !req
1449. - Qu'est-ce-que c'est ca?
- English!Copy !req
1450. - Chief!
- Put a bullet in him, Grady.Copy !req
1451. What the fuck is this?Copy !req
1452. - Grady?
- Shit, what the fuck is this?Copy !req
1453. Shoot it!Copy !req
1454. - That's my car.
- Grady!Copy !req
1455. - That's my girl!
- Grady!Copy !req
1456. Smy, Burton, check that out.Copy !req
1457. - What are ya, drunk?
- Drunk enough to kick your ass.Copy !req
1458. Let's see what you've got, O'Hagan.Copy !req
1459. Two-time Navy champion. Tag 'im and bag 'im!Copy !req
1460. - Way to go, Cap.
- Give my regards to Bobby Baboon.Copy !req
1461. Hey, hey, hey, hey.
You haven't opened it yet, have ya?Copy !req
1462. - How are ya doin'?
- Hey, man. Hey, buddy.Copy !req
1463. - Hi.
- Hey!Copy !req
1464. - Hi, John.
- Hi, darlin'.Copy !req
1465. Here we go.Copy !req
1466. "Dear John...Copy !req
1467. "Congratulations are due to you...Copy !req
1468. "and your men for your brave, impressive...Copy !req
1469. "but most of all unorthodox tactics...Copy !req
1470. "in thwarting the drug-smuggling ring...Copy !req
1471. "and extreme police corruption."Copy !req
1472. - Ooh. She loves us.
- All right.Copy !req
1473. "I cannot stress enough how proud
we at the statehouse are of you.Copy !req
1474. "The great state of Vermont could
use more officers like your men.Copy !req
1475. "As you requested, we have
re-evaluated the financial situation...Copy !req
1476. "regarding your unit."Copy !req
1477. And we're gonna buy you a tank.Copy !req
1478. "Due to our tight fiscal situation...Copy !req
1479. "we regret to inform you that we are still...Copy !req
1480. "going to have to close your station.Copy !req
1481. "Good luck in Sherburne, John.Copy !req
1482. "And give your men my best.Copy !req
1483. "Sincerely...Copy !req
1484. "Governor Fuckhead."Copy !req
1485. I did not see that coming.Copy !req
1486. I told you to bring the handcart.Copy !req
1487. Sorry.Copy !req
1488. Tilt it.Copy !req
1489. Oh, goddamn, I remember
these things being lighter!Copy !req
1490. I think I'm gonna drop a nut!Copy !req
1491. - Shit.
- Hope they like foam.Copy !req
1492. It's not so bad. Good exercise.Copy !req
1493. - Cool uniforms.
- Yeah. All the beer you can drink.Copy !req
1494. I'm into that!Copy !req
1495. Beer!Copy !req
1496. - Oh, God.
- You order the keg of St. Anky?Copy !req
1497. Uh, yeah!Copy !req
1498. But aren't you guys the Highway Patrol?Copy !req
1499. Yeah, but our station got shut down, so...Copy !req
1500. Oh, no shit, man!Copy !req
1501. Yeah, shit. This your keg?Copy !req
1502. Oh, my... my Dad ordered it.
But he's asleep right now.Copy !req
1503. Keg's here!Copy !req
1504. Oh, St. Anky's.Copy !req
1505. - Oh, God. No!
- No, no, no!Copy !req
1506. Hey, man. Hey, bro.
It's cool, man. They got fired!Copy !req
1507. No shit?Copy !req
1508. No shit, man!Copy !req
1509. All right, all right.
Where's the keg go?Copy !req
1510. - Put it in the rec room, man.
- Yeah, come on in.Copy !req
1511. Make room, make room. Salon.Copy !req
1512. What took you guys
so long to get here?Copy !req
1513. What'd you do? Brew it yourself?Copy !req
1514. Be cool, man.Copy !req
1515. I am cool.Copy !req
1516. Check this out. Um, why don't
you guys put that, um...Copy !req
1517. over there?Copy !req
1518. - Move it, move it, move it.
- We want a drink! Come on.Copy !req
1519. Tap this thing!Copy !req
1520. Actually, you know what?
I think it's better...Copy !req
1521. Feng Shui if it's, uh,
over there.Copy !req
1522. Definitely. Definitely better over there.Copy !req
1523. Oh, wait, wait. Guys. Guys.
You know what?Copy !req
1524. Man, it's probably better for the flow...Copy !req
1525. if you put it back over here.Copy !req
1526. And don't forget to tap that keg, guys.Copy !req
1527. Okay, okay. Somebody's
gonna need to sign for this...Copy !req
1528. and I need to see some I.D.Copy !req
1529. Look, you know what?
I don't have any I.D.Copy !req
1530. But, uh, Abraham Lincoln
here, he says that I'm 21...Copy !req
1531. and he never told a lie.Copy !req
1532. Yeah, actually it was George
Washington that never told a lie.Copy !req
1533. You guys drive a hard bargain, but...Copy !req
1534. Actually, you know what?Copy !req
1535. Why don't you guys split it?Copy !req
1536. That was good, man.Copy !req
1537. Are you ready for the fun part?Copy !req
1538. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1539. 'Cause here comes the fun part!Copy !req
1540. Spurbury Police!Copy !req
1541. You're all under arrest!Copy !req
1542. - Come on back, now.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1543. All this for a noise complaint?Copy !req
1544. I love acid...Copy !req
1545. Cops.Copy !req
1546. What the crap?
How come nobody called me?Copy !req
1547. - We're in trouble, aren't we?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
1548. And if you really want to choke somebody,
you gotta hit the Adam's apple.Copy !req
1549. Like this?Copy !req
1550. Higher.Copy !req
1551. Loser!Copy !req
1552. Ping! Ping!Copy !req
1553. Ping! Ping!Copy !req
1554. Ping!Copy !req
1555. Farva!Copy !req