1. Tedjo's slippery.Copy !req
2. He's small, but don't
underestimate him.Copy !req
3. - Just follow my lead, kiddo.
- Okay.Copy !req
4. - Sir.
- Yes, please.Copy !req
5. Hello. Need to get up
to the penthouse please.Copy !req
6. I'll let Mr. Washington
know that you're here.Copy !req
7. It's best
if we surprise Mr. Washington.Copy !req
8. Yeah. I think
that'd be best.Copy !req
9. Thank you.Copy !req
10. "Mr. Washington"?Copy !req
11. Why would Tedjo stay here
and not a safehouse?Copy !req
12. Better not be
a bad friggin' tip.Copy !req
13. "Friggin" '?Copy !req
14. Daughter thinks
I swear too much.Copy !req
15. Is Nicole still dating
that guy?Copy !req
16. Yeah. Mathis.Copy !req
17. Smells like a candle.Copy !req
18. God, I hope
they're not having sex.Copy !req
19. Oh, don't worry about it,
she's Catholic.Copy !req
20. Probably just a bit of anal.Copy !req
21. Morris.Copy !req
22. Get down!Copy !req
23. What the...Copy !req
24. Clear.Copy !req
25. Morris! You okay?Copy !req
26. Tedjo.Copy !req
27. Shit!Copy !req
28. Fucker!Copy !req
29. Oh. Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
30. Two, three,
four, five, six!Copy !req
31. You little shit!Copy !req
32. Vic, you good?Copy !req
33. - That's Tedjo.
- Come on.Copy !req
34. I don't see him!Copy !req
35. Where'd he go?Copy !req
36. Hey!Copy !req
37. I got him!Copy !req
38. We gotta move!Copy !req
39. Oh, shit!Copy !req
40. Yes!Copy !req
41. Is he there? Morris?Copy !req
42. - Just got down here!
- I don't see...Copy !req
43. - Vic! Help!
- Shit!Copy !req
44. Help, help! Vic, help!Copy !req
45. Morris!Copy !req
46. Stop!Copy !req
47. Come on!Copy !req
48. Move!Copy !req
49. Morris!Copy !req
50. Hey! Yo, man!
What's up?Copy !req
51. - Stop!
- Watch out!Copy !req
52. Stop and turn around!Copy !req
53. Hands up! Now!Copy !req
54. Slowly! Don't move!Copy !req
55. Morris!Copy !req
56. Morris!Copy !req
57. Morris!Copy !req
58. Morris!Copy !req
59. Shit.Copy !req
60. Tell me you're good.
Morris?Copy !req
61. Come on, kid,
talk to me.Copy !req
62. Stay with me, kiddo.
Come on.Copy !req
63. Oh, God damn it!Copy !req
64. I need backup.Copy !req
65. We need medical supportCopy !req
66. at the west entrance
to the Staples Center.Copy !req
67. You're good. Hey.Copy !req
68. Morris?Copy !req
69. Morris!Copy !req
70. Help!Copy !req
71. It's 5:00,
Los Angeles. Quittin' time!Copy !req
72. Get home, jump in the pool,
have a cold one.Copy !req
73. Because this heat wave
is still working.Copy !req
74. 103 degrees at the beaches,
112 in the Valley.Copy !req
75. Let's do it!Copy !req
76. It's hot as hell, people,
and the traffic is a demon.Copy !req
77. 405 is backed up
from the 10 to Sunset.Copy !req
78. Two lanes closed on the...Copy !req
79. Oh.Copy !req
80. Oh, shit! Again?Copy !req
81. Stu!Copy !req
82. Stuber.Copy !req
83. You didn't cancel.Copy !req
84. It affects my rating.Copy !req
85. I can't drop below four stars
or I lose this job.Copy !req
86. Ooh. New ride?
A little eco-puss for me but not bad.Copy !req
87. How'd you
afford this, Stuber?Copy !req
88. It's a lease, and you can
stop calling me Stuber.Copy !req
89. Oh, come on. You know
I gotta be tough with you.Copy !req
90. I can't show favoritismCopy !req
91. in front of
my other employees.Copy !req
92. You told Ashley in kayaksCopy !req
93. that I lost my penis
in the Gulf War.Copy !req
94. I did that.
Come on, man.Copy !req
95. The point is,
I see potential in you, Stu.Copy !req
96. Just type in
your destination.Copy !req
97. - I'm not going to Bosley.
- But...Copy !req
98. I'm banging a chick
that works there.Copy !req
99. - Is her name Propecia?
- Huh?Copy !req
100. Hmm?
All right.Copy !req
101. Give me some of them
Coffee Crisps, son.Copy !req
102. I need the full
Stuber experienceCopy !req
103. or you're getting
one star again. Whoo!Copy !req
104. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh.Copy !req
105. Okay, this is
gonna sound complicated.Copy !req
106. But what I need you to do
is take Alta Loma,Copy !req
107. down to North Croft Street.Copy !req
108. Five cheeseburgers.
Five cheeseburgers.Copy !req
109. Five cheeseburgers.
No onions, no pickles.Copy !req
110. Did you say five cheeseburgers?
No onions! No pickles!Copy !req
111. You're not gonna eat this in the car, right?
Oh, no.Copy !req
112. Down at the bar.
How come he uses...Copy !req
113. I have four voicemails
from him.Copy !req
114. four heart emojis?
Every time he texts me...Copy !req
115. Harry's parents died
and was killed by Voldemort.Copy !req
116. I just hate fish.Copy !req
117. Now, a lot of
people think...Copy !req
118. Can't you see
I'm in pain here?Copy !req
119. Could you at least
drive the speed limit?Copy !req
120. Watch out!Copy !req
121. That's on you, bro.Copy !req
122. No! No!Copy !req
123. No, go out the window!Copy !req
124. "Massive eyebrows?"Copy !req
125. Ugh.Copy !req
126. Byron Jade.Copy !req
127. Shit.Copy !req
128. Happy birthday, Kramer.
Yo, Vic.Copy !req
129. - I appreciate it.
- It's Kramer's 50th.Copy !req
130. I brought you the world's
tiniest piece of cake.Copy !req
131. I didn't get cake
on my birthday.Copy !req
132. What're you doin' here?Copy !req
133. Like a dog on a bone,
you, huh?Copy !req
134. Tedjo's a cop killer.Copy !req
135. He's still trafficking
through LA.Copy !req
136. He'll make a mistake.
I'll get him.Copy !req
137. Look, I don't know
how to tell you this...Copy !req
138. but you're out of time.Copy !req
139. The chief is kicking Tedjo
up to the feds.Copy !req
140. Bullshit!Copy !req
141. I've been working on
this case for two years!Copy !req
142. Look, we don't have
any choice.Copy !req
143. It's their case now.Copy !req
144. Feds didn't make promises
to Morris's family.Copy !req
145. Maybe you shouldn't
have either.Copy !req
146. Losing a partner
can sideswipe you.Copy !req
147. You're blaming yourself,
but it's not your fault.Copy !req
148. Look, when was
the last timeCopy !req
149. you took a few days off?
Some PTO.Copy !req
150. Spend some time with Nikki.Copy !req
151. Yeah, I'm gonna
see her tomorrow.Copy !req
152. She's driving me
to a doctor's appointment.Copy !req
153. Are you okay?Copy !req
154. Yeah. Just old, blind.Copy !req
155. Getting
Lasik surgery tomorrow.Copy !req
156. Okay. Spend some time with
your beautiful daughter.Copy !req
157. You'll come back
a new man.Copy !req
158. Yeah.Copy !req
159. I'm sorry.
Truly am, Vic.Copy !req
160. Big lease.
This is it, huh?Copy !req
161. Yep.
I have signed my half.Copy !req
162. Once you sign yours,
it is official.Copy !req
163. I'd have to move some funds around,
but, you know...Copy !req
164. Check out
my photoshop skills.Copy !req
165. Oh, wow. That's awesome.
That is beautiful.Copy !req
166. Oh, thank you.
Wow.Copy !req
167. Wow! Byron Jade!Copy !req
168. Oh, yes! He's gonna be
our celebrity endorsement.Copy !req
169. It's amazing, right?Copy !req
170. I just was...Copy !req
171. Because you had said
that we couldn'tCopy !req
172. mention me on the pamphlet...Copy !req
173. because it's
a women-only gym...Copy !req
174. and then your man friend
Byron Jade...Copy !req
175. much more of a man
than I am.Copy !req
176. Oh, Stu, no, no, no!Copy !req
177. No, this is just about
getting butts on bikes.Copy !req
178. Sign it, sign it,
sign it.Copy !req
179. Okay!Copy !req
180. No regrets.Copy !req
181. Stu, oh, I'm gonna cry.Copy !req
182. We're gonna be
small-business owners.Copy !req
183. Actually, I prefer
business operator.Copy !req
184. 'Cause it reminds me
of the Sade songCopy !req
185. and that is empowering
to me, so...Copy !req
186. Mmm.Copy !req
187. - We're doing it!
- Yes!Copy !req
188. Becca,
I like your shoes.Copy !req
189. They don't really go
with your outfit...Copy !req
190. but, uh,
you can pull it off.Copy !req
191. Oh, Richie,
thank you.Copy !req
192. I like your facial hair.Copy !req
193. Although, am I your type?Copy !req
194. 'Cause I'm over 12.Copy !req
195. - What?
- I'm gonna go...Copy !req
196. 'cause when you entered,Copy !req
197. my tailbone was like,
"We're unsafe!"Copy !req
198. Will you call me later?Copy !req
199. Yeah.
All right.Copy !req
200. Bye!Copy !req
201. I'm excited!Copy !req
202. She was making a joke.Copy !req
203. I don't like
when girls make jokes.Copy !req
204. Hey, um, can I pick up
some more shifts?Copy !req
205. I need some more cash
coming in.Copy !req
206. Not in this economy.
Cool?Copy !req
207. Sure.Copy !req
208. Also, not really
an appropriate questionCopy !req
209. to ask your boss.Copy !req
210. Yeah. You think
Becca would fuck me?Copy !req
211. I don't.Copy !req
212. The blurriness
should dissipateCopy !req
213. in the next 24 hours,
give or take.Copy !req
214. Rest, no driving,
avoid stress...Copy !req
215. increased heart rate,
sunlight, heat, dust.Copy !req
216. You might experience
some dizziness, headache.Copy !req
217. All right.Copy !req
218. Looking good.Copy !req
219. Keep these on
the rest of the day.Copy !req
220. Okay.Copy !req
221. How long before
I can see straight, doc?Copy !req
222. When you can read
the bottom line,Copy !req
223. you're good to go.Copy !req
224. God, it's bright.Copy !req
225. Hold on. Hold on.
I'm coming, Dad.Copy !req
226. - You good?
- Yeah.Copy !req
227. All right.
Watch your step.Copy !req
228. Man, that jackass screwed up my eyes.
I can't see shit.Copy !req
229. So, um,
I know it's only August...Copy !req
230. but I think
I'm gonna do ChristmasCopy !req
231. with Mom and David
this year.Copy !req
232. What about
eating here?Copy !req
233. It's our Christmas tradition.
No.Copy !req
234. This is not our tradition.Copy !req
235. This is your tradition.
I hate coming here.Copy !req
236. Hey, Howard Wu
is good people.Copy !req
237. And I like the food anyway,
it's good.Copy !req
238. So, um, guess your eyes areCopy !req
239. too banged up
to make it tonight?Copy !req
240. Tonight! Abbot Kinney.Copy !req
241. Oh. Of course.Copy !req
242. Yeah, no,
I was just thinking about that earlier.Copy !req
243. You think I'd miss my baby
girl's first gallery show?Copy !req
244. Well, you did schedule
eye surgeryCopy !req
245. the same day as it, so...Copy !req
246. Well, even if I was havingCopy !req
247. a heart transplant today,
I'd be there.Copy !req
248. Right. But you can't
actually see, so...Copy !req
249. I'll get up
real close then.Copy !req
250. Don't do that.Copy !req
251. Don't do that
where you breathe like that.Copy !req
252. I'll be there.Copy !req
253. Just pick me up on your way.Copy !req
254. Oh. Sure, yeah, I'll drive
two hours out of my way,Copy !req
255. in traffic,
during a heatwave...Copy !req
256. to pick you up.
Instead of...Copy !req
257. I don't know,
getting ready for maybeCopy !req
258. the biggest night
of my career.Copy !req
259. Give me your phone.Copy !req
260. Come on, come on!
Give me your phone.Copy !req
261. If you're really serious
about coming...Copy !req
262. then I'm gonna make it as
easy on you as possible.Copy !req
263. Okay.Copy !req
264. This is Uber.Copy !req
265. Yes, I know what Uber is.
Okay.Copy !req
266. Then you know how to get to
your daughter's art show...Copy !req
267. that you definitely
remembered was tonight.Copy !req
268. Okay, you're gonna need
a password, so...Copy !req
269. My birthday, how about that?
Your birthday.Copy !req
270. That's a good test.Copy !req
271. Okay. Do you have any good selfies?
You're gonna need a picture.Copy !req
272. I don't know.Copy !req
273. Wow.
Cool pics, Dad.Copy !req
274. Okay, look at me.Copy !req
275. Great.
Here you go.Copy !req
276. Hey.
What?Copy !req
277. I can't wait for tonight.Copy !req
278. With runners at the cornersCopy !req
279. and a one-one count,Copy !req
280. nobody out.Copy !req
281. The pitch...Copy !req
282. for a ball.Copy !req
283. I gotta tell you,Copy !req
284. Los Angeles is now
putting themselves...Copy !req
285. in the mix
for the playoff hunt.Copy !req
286. They've got
the third lowest...Copy !req
287. - Yeah.
- It's tonight.Copy !req
288. The drop is going down, man.
Hundred-fucking-percent.Copy !req
289. Leon, whose drop?Copy !req
290. Tedjo.Copy !req
291. Tedjo?
Yeah, he's back.Copy !req
292. Yo, man, this is big.Copy !req
293. Are you fucking sure?Copy !req
294. 300 keys.
Maybe even more.Copy !req
295. That's your fucking intel,
all right, Vic?Copy !req
296. Oh, you done good, buddy.Copy !req
297. You done good.
Where are you?Copy !req
298. Koreatown.Copy !req
299. Cordova and Vermont.Copy !req
300. Where's Tedjo
making the drop?Copy !req
301. Leon?Copy !req
302. Leon! Fuck!Copy !req
303. Fuck!Copy !req
304. You got this.Copy !req
305. Out of the way!Copy !req
306. Hey, asshole! Move it!Copy !req
307. God damn it!Copy !req
308. Oh, fuck! Shit!Copy !req
309. Oh, Jesus Christ!Copy !req
310. Sorry!Copy !req
311. I'll pay for that!Copy !req
312. So you can work out
without having men ogle you.Copy !req
313. Just you
and your gal pals,Copy !req
314. listening to Sia,
getting your beach bods.Copy !req
315. Out of the way!Copy !req
316. Get out of the way!Copy !req
317. Are you okay?
No, I'm not!Copy !req
318. Move it! I'm a cop!
Stop! Stop!Copy !req
319. Get all of this shit
out of the road!Copy !req
320. Yeah, yeah,
I see the bulldozer!Copy !req
321. Stop!Copy !req
322. God damn it!
God damn it!Copy !req
323. You okay, man?Copy !req
324. You assholes got a permit
for this hole?Copy !req
325. What?Copy !req
326. "These people"?Copy !req
327. Jesus Christ.Copy !req
328. Please be a five-star ride.Copy !req
329. Hey!Copy !req
330. Uber?
Yeah.Copy !req
331. Oh, my God.Copy !req
332. Okay. Be cool. Be nice.
Smile. Smile.Copy !req
333. Uber?
Yeah.Copy !req
334. Hey.Copy !req
335. Let me guess,
you want me to drive youCopy !req
336. to all the Sarah Connors
in the city, huh?Copy !req
337. Come on. Start it up.
Let's go.Copy !req
338. Oh, it's already started.Copy !req
339. Electric car.Copy !req
340. I call it
"silent but deadly."Copy !req
341. Kind of like a fart,
but instead it's a great car.Copy !req
342. Drive.Copy !req
343. I'm Stu.
How do you do?Copy !req
344. Can I get you
some bottled water?Copy !req
345. Some Canadian chocolates?Copy !req
346. It was one of those things where I thought
I was getting five bars on Amazon,Copy !req
347. but I ended up getting five... Koreatown.
Now.Copy !req
348. Koreatown.Copy !req
349. Now.Copy !req
350. Hold on. I'm gonna bang
a U-ey here real quick.Copy !req
351. Nope. Don't got it.
Hold on.Copy !req
352. Thank you, thank you.Copy !req
353. Oh. Didn't quite make it.Copy !req
354. - Just a second.
- Let's go!Copy !req
355. Looks like someone drove
their car into a ditch.Copy !req
356. They should put a sign up.Copy !req
357. Well, if they didn't
see the ditch,Copy !req
358. they're not gonna
see the sign.Copy !req
359. Just a couple more points
and we got it.Copy !req
360. Another record-setting dayCopy !req
361. in Los Angeles.
Hottest day since 1911.Copy !req
362. Stay safe, folks.
This is Madness!Copy !req
363. What kind of music
do you like?Copy !req
364. I got a fully-loaded iPod.Copy !req
365. I got rap, hip-hop, R&B,
adult-contempo...Copy !req
366. world music.Copy !req
367. Name a thing, I bet I have it.
Let's play a game.Copy !req
368. Cool glasses, man.Copy !req
369. What, are you going toCopy !req
370. a racquetball game later?Copy !req
371. I can't see.Copy !req
372. Oh, my God.
You're blind?Copy !req
373. I am so sorry.Copy !req
374. I didn't know
it was like that.Copy !req
375. It'll come back.Copy !req
376. That's the spirit.Copy !req
377. Did you just throw those
out the window?Copy !req
378. I know. Classic rock.Copy !req
379. Music to work out to,
my man.Copy !req
380. Styx. What's that song?Copy !req
381. Come Sail Away.Copy !req
382. That's what it's called!
"Come Sail Away."Copy !req
383. You know,
generally peopleCopy !req
384. who don't want conversation
hop in the back.Copy !req
385. If you sit shotgun,Copy !req
386. it's sort of code
that you're D-T-T.Copy !req
387. Down-To-Talk.
I'm more...Copy !req
388. D-T-shut-the-fuck-up.Copy !req
389. That's funny.Copy !req
390. No, seriously,
how much do you bench?Copy !req
391. Two-hundo? Three-hundo?Copy !req
392. I wanna get up to, you know,
having a 45 on each side.Copy !req
393. Bang those out.Copy !req
394. Grandfather wore glasses,
but glaucoma so...Copy !req
395. Why are we stopping?Copy !req
396. - What the hell's going on?
- Hi.Copy !req
397. Hi.
I'm Sloan.Copy !req
398. Melanie.Copy !req
399. - What the hell?
- The USC campus, right?Copy !req
400. Yeah.
Can I interest you in someCopy !req
401. Canadian chocolate?
Coffee Crisps?Copy !req
402. We're actually late...
Nope, we're good...Copy !req
403. so if you could
get us there.Copy !req
404. What the hell's going on?Copy !req
405. Two young women have justCopy !req
406. gotten into the back seat
of the car.Copy !req
407. You selected
the UberPool option, so...Copy !req
408. Uber-what?Copy !req
409. UberPool.Copy !req
410. You pool the cost
of the rideCopy !req
411. with other passengers
going in the same direction.Copy !req
412. No. No.Copy !req
413. It's actually
very cost-efficient.Copy !req
414. They're going to USC
and he's just...Copy !req
415. No, no, no. Ladies,
official police business.Copy !req
416. Is that even real?Copy !req
417. Get the fuck out of the car!Copy !req
418. Oh, God!
Go, go!Copy !req
419. Move it, move it!
Stop yelling at us!Copy !req
420. - Grab your shit...
- What? No, no.Copy !req
421. - ... and get out!
- Seriously?Copy !req
422. - No, please come back!
- So lame!Copy !req
423. Please don't penalize my
star rating! Not my fault!Copy !req
424. Come on. Let's go, Steve.Copy !req
425. Come on.Copy !req
426. Are you staring at me?Copy !req
427. So, can we rewind
real quick?Copy !req
428. "Official police business"?Copy !req
429. Just going to
see a friend.Copy !req
430. Never Uber'd a cop before.
Ever been shot?Copy !req
431. Ever taken a bullet
for someone?Copy !req
432. What do you mean?Copy !req
433. Like, have you ever...Copy !req
434. jumped in front of someone
and taken a bulletCopy !req
435. that was intended
for that person?Copy !req
436. You know what I mean?Copy !req
437. Person, bullet, you.Copy !req
438. You think
by the time a gun is firedCopy !req
439. that you can jump
in front of a bullet?Copy !req
440. Now I'm starting
to question it.Copy !req
441. Yeah, we don't live
in slow-motion land, kid.Copy !req
442. I bet you're
also wondering...Copy !req
443. if I've ever walked away
from a big explosionCopy !req
444. and not looked over
my shoulder.Copy !req
445. You've made your point.Copy !req
446. Shot out the tires on a car
speeding towards me.Copy !req
447. A hundred times over.Copy !req
448. We're here.Copy !req
449. It's been
a five-star ride for me.Copy !req
450. Hope it's been
a five-star ride for you.Copy !req
451. If you want
your five stars...Copy !req
452. keep the meter running.Copy !req
453. Oh, there's no meter.Copy !req
454. People will just
call another Uber.Copy !req
455. That's...Copy !req
456. Bye, forever!Copy !req
457. Wow.Copy !req
458. "Andre the giant
motherfucker."Copy !req
459. God damn it.Copy !req
460. Hurry up.Copy !req
461. Leon!Copy !req
462. Leon!Copy !req
463. Damn it!Copy !req
464. Leon!Copy !req
465. Smooth operator speaking.Copy !req
466. Fucking Byron, man!
He's a piece of shit!Copy !req
467. He came over.
He goes to the bathroom...Copy !req
468. I obviously immediately
look at his phone.Copy !req
469. It's fucking full
of all these pictures...Copy !req
470. of all these girls who lookCopy !req
471. barely out of
fucking high school.Copy !req
472. It's like vagina, vagina,
vagina, vagina.Copy !req
473. Oh, my God!
I broke up with him!Copy !req
474. Becca, you are a queen.Copy !req
475. Byron is a full-on
piece of shitCopy !req
476. and he doesn't deserve you.Copy !req
477. I wanna lock myself in my
apartment like Grey Gardens.Copy !req
478. I want to
Grey Gardens myself.Copy !req
479. That is the most depressing
verb I've ever heard.Copy !req
480. I wanna scream
into a cup for six years.Copy !req
481. I'm gonna start drinking.Copy !req
482. Then Yogurtland,
then vengeance.Copy !req
483. Tequila?
Yes.Copy !req
484. God, yes. Always.Copy !req
485. Well, I'll bring a bottle
and some yogurt.Copy !req
486. You decide the order, okay?
Okay.Copy !req
487. Stu, will you hurry?Copy !req
488. I really need you.Copy !req
489. I'm just gonna drop off
Douche LundgrenCopy !req
490. and I'll be right over, okay?Copy !req
491. Okay.Copy !req
492. All right.
Okay, you hang up first.Copy !req
493. Okay, I'm hanging up.Copy !req
494. No. Oh. She's gone.Copy !req
495. Yes!Copy !req
496. Leon, where's the drop?Copy !req
497. If you're using again.
Leon!Copy !req
498. I'm sorry, Leon.Copy !req
499. So did you
find your friend?Copy !req
500. Is that blood?Copy !req
501. No.Copy !req
502. All right. So we're done.Copy !req
503. I'll just drop you off
where I picked...Copy !req
504. Yo, Amber.Copy !req
505. What's up, girl?
It's Leon!Copy !req
506. Yeah!Copy !req
507. Been a minute.Copy !req
508. Yeah. Where you at, girl?Copy !req
509. All right, you know
I can dig that. Ha!Copy !req
510. All right, you keep
that ass warm for Leon.Copy !req
511. Ha-ha!Copy !req
512. Yeah. You know that, girl.Copy !req
513. Very problematic.Copy !req
514. Sizzle Room. Compton.Copy !req
515. What other races can you do impressions of?
Can you do me?Copy !req
516. Compton!Copy !req
517. Okay, stop just
yelling neighborhoods.Copy !req
518. That's not
how Uber works, okay?Copy !req
519. You're quick to anger.Copy !req
520. Oh, didn't
quite make it.Copy !req
521. Oh, come on.Copy !req
522. And I'm parked.Copy !req
523. Let's go.Copy !req
524. Hey.Copy !req
525. Yes?
Come on.Copy !req
526. I don't want you
driving off on me.Copy !req
527. Nah. I'm all sizzled out
for the day.Copy !req
528. Thanks for
the invite, though.Copy !req
529. Let's go.Copy !req
530. I'm not going in there.Copy !req
531. The Sizzle Room's
health grade is a B.Copy !req
532. Which I'm pretty sure
stands for Hepatitis B.Copy !req
533. Look, I know you think you have more
important things to do right now.Copy !req
534. I do.
You don't.Copy !req
535. Now I paid for a driver...Copy !req
536. and I'm getting
a fucking driver...Copy !req
537. with little gold stars.Copy !req
538. Come on.Copy !req
539. It smells
like balls in here.Copy !req
540. Wonder why.Copy !req
541. This is the bar.Copy !req
542. Hey. Looking for
Amber Titties.Copy !req
543. It's pronounced Tittyais.
It's French.Copy !req
544. She's in the back.Copy !req
545. Come on. Let's go.Copy !req
546. Uh, no, I'll respect
the dancers' privacy.Copy !req
547. What's wrong? You've never
seen a naked woman before?Copy !req
548. Come on.Copy !req
549. Drunk bastard
just gave me a dollar.Copy !req
550. Cool.Copy !req
551. And that was Thor!Copy !req
552. A lot of security
back here.Copy !req
553. I'm gonna check it out.
Stay put.Copy !req
554. So, yes,
I'll have them see the houseCopy !req
555. tomorrow at 3:00 p.m.Copy !req
556. That looks good.
What is that? Chicken salad?Copy !req
557. Mm-hmm. You want a bite?
No thank you, sweetie.Copy !req
558. But here's the thing though,Copy !req
559. you really think
you should be eating that?Copy !req
560. Well, I mean,
I am hungry.Copy !req
561. Water only...Copy !req
562. four hours before stage!
Ain't that right, fellas?Copy !req
563. - Yeah. Yes, ma'am.
- Them's the rules.Copy !req
564. Not even, like,
a granola bar?Copy !req
565. Is that healthy?
Who the fuck are you?Copy !req
566. Oh, no, actually,
I just mean carbs...Copy !req
567. are unfairly demonized.
No.Copy !req
568. If that's how he's lookin',Copy !req
569. I wouldn't change
what he's cookin'.Copy !req
570. It's fine.
Oh, it's fine?Copy !req
571. So you think
people come in here to seeCopy !req
572. a fat piece of shit
floppin' his tits around?Copy !req
573. I don't have tits!Copy !req
574. Nobody wants to see a big dick
hanging off a bag of garbage.Copy !req
575. Shouldn't have weighed in.
I'm sorry. Not a pun.Copy !req
576. Oh, no, no.
Please continue toCopy !req
577. mansplain to me
what I'm supposed to be doing.Copy !req
578. 'Cause, you know, as a woman,
I have no fucking idea!Copy !req
579. You do your thing.Copy !req
580. I'll go fuck myself.Copy !req
581. Thank you so much
for giving me permission.Copy !req
582. Are you still eating that?Copy !req
583. Ms. Titties?
Tittyais.Copy !req
584. Who the fuck's asking?
We not hiring, honey.Copy !req
585. LAPD.Copy !req
586. Need to talk to you
for a second.Copy !req
587. I'm so sorry.
No, no, no. It's my fault.Copy !req
588. You don't have man boobs.Copy !req
589. Her bark is way more vicious
than her bite.Copy !req
590. That's not true.
She bit me. It really hurt.Copy !req
591. Hey, can you give me a hand
with something?Copy !req
592. Your self-esteem?Copy !req
593. She was up
by twelve points in August.Copy !req
594. I was all in.Copy !req
595. Oh, man.Copy !req
596. Three red roses?Copy !req
597. Girl is thirsty.Copy !req
598. He was a good man.Copy !req
599. A loyal customer.
A friend.Copy !req
600. So were you two
close, close?Copy !req
601. Leon was
a complicated man.Copy !req
602. He liked blowjobs
from the back.Copy !req
603. That's tough.Copy !req
604. Weird.Copy !req
605. I just love her, man.
I do. Since college.Copy !req
606. Does she know?
No.Copy !req
607. You know, we had sex once...Copy !req
608. like a year and-a-half ago.Copy !req
609. She was going
through a breakup.Copy !req
610. I'm over at her house,
and we're getting drunk...Copy !req
611. we're watching
When Harry Met Sally...Copy !req
612. and then one thing
lead to another...Copy !req
613. and then her Harry met
my Sally and it was great.Copy !req
614. But then she acted
like nothing happened.Copy !req
615. So then I acted
like nothing happened,Copy !req
616. and so then
nothing happened.Copy !req
617. All right. Look.Copy !req
618. You need to tell her
how you feel.Copy !req
619. A relationship cannot thrive
without honesty.Copy !req
620. That's why
Amber calls me outCopy !req
621. for being
a fat piece of dogshit.Copy !req
622. That's abuse.
That's a different thing.Copy !req
623. No, it's love. Tough love.Copy !req
624. Look, we about
to get a rush.Copy !req
625. What's your fat
Freddie Mercury-looking-assCopy !req
626. got for me?Copy !req
627. All right.Copy !req
628. Let's cut the shit.Copy !req
629. Tedjo.Copy !req
630. Leon ever mentioned
that name to you?Copy !req
631. Say anything
about a big shipment?Copy !req
632. Think real hard,
Ms. Tittyais.Copy !req
633. That's why I dropped
all the charges against Amber.Copy !req
634. Oh.Copy !req
635. Wait, wait,
that's her ringtone.Copy !req
636. That's Becca's ringtone.Copy !req
637. I need a good background.Copy !req
638. What's a good,
neutral background?Copy !req
639. Hey!
Hello. Guess who just wroteCopy !req
640. roughly fourteen paragraphs
on Byron's Facebook page...Copy !req
641. about what a worthless
sleazebag he is.Copy !req
642. Ah, yes.
The revenge phase.Copy !req
643. Three glasses of Savah-Bee
will do that to a girl.Copy !req
644. Yep, you are drunk.Copy !req
645. The alcohol
is actually helping.Copy !req
646. Because it's
giving me clarity.Copy !req
647. Clarity?Copy !req
648. What kind of clarity?
Okay.Copy !req
649. Um, did I just see a penis?
Where are you?Copy !req
650. Oh. Nowhere,
nowhere, nowhere.Copy !req
651. Did I just see
a dick the sizeCopy !req
652. of Simon Birch,
or what's going on?Copy !req
653. Don't worry.
What were you saying?Copy !req
654. "Clarity"?
Okay, I have this crazy idea.Copy !req
655. I'm feeling
a lot of stuff right now.Copy !req
656. With the business and you.Copy !req
657. I want you to come over.
And I want to watch...Copy !req
658. When Harry Met Sally.Copy !req
659. Remember the time we did it?Copy !req
660. Did what?Copy !req
661. Oh, my God!Copy !req
662. I don't wanna put you
in a weird position...Copy !req
663. if you don't wanna
do it again.Copy !req
664. Oh, no, no, no.
It's not a weird position.Copy !req
665. It's a good position.Copy !req
666. You know what?
Yeah, let's do it.Copy !req
667. Okay, great! Cool.
I'm here!Copy !req
668. I'll just come right over.Copy !req
669. And, uh, we'll do it.Copy !req
670. Beep!Copy !req
671. No take backs.Copy !req
672. Did you hear that?
Becca wants to fuck!Copy !req
673. Oh, my God!
What am I gonna do?Copy !req
674. You're gonna fuck!
But then what?Copy !req
675. We just don't
talk about it?Copy !req
676. Not this time. This time
you tell her how you feel.Copy !req
677. You open your heart.
You be honest. Go.Copy !req
678. Yeah. Yeah.
Lock it down.Copy !req
679. Lock it down.
Lock it down.Copy !req
680. I'm gonna lock it down.
I'm gonna tell her how I feel.Copy !req
681. Amo.Copy !req
682. Amo Cortez.Copy !req
683. Amo Cortez?Copy !req
684. Leon did a minute
in Lancaster.Copy !req
685. Amo was his cellmate.Copy !req
686. I overheard them
talking last week.Copy !req
687. He was trying to get Leon
in on something.Copy !req
688. He said it was
gonna be big.Copy !req
689. You know
where I could find Amo?Copy !req
690. Runs with the Alamitos 13.Copy !req
691. That's all I know.Copy !req
692. Steve. Let's go.Copy !req
693. Steve!Copy !req
694. Uh...Copy !req
695. Where are my keys?Copy !req
696. Going somewhere?Copy !req
697. Those are mine!
Nah, they're mineCopy !req
698. until I'm done with you.
No, no, no.Copy !req
699. I'm going to see Becca
right now.Copy !req
700. No. Long Beach.
Then we'll talk.Copy !req
701. Fuck Long Beach. Fuck you.
Hey!Copy !req
702. I will drag your ass
to jail.Copy !req
703. A white cop dragging aroundCopy !req
704. a brown man.
That'll look great.Copy !req
705. I'm not white.Copy !req
706. You're not white?Copy !req
707. What are you? Puerto Rican?Copy !req
708. Mexican? Libyan? Chilean?Copy !req
709. You're not Chinese.Copy !req
710. I'm the racist one?
You look like...Copy !req
711. if all the ugly people
in every race fucked!Copy !req
712. Come on, let's go.
Long Beach.Copy !req
713. Get in the car!Copy !req
714. You were right.Copy !req
715. Yeah, they were just here.Copy !req
716. Yeah, there's two of them.Copy !req
717. So this Becca chick
says, "Jump."Copy !req
718. And you say, "How high?"Copy !req
719. If you knew her,
you'd jump too.Copy !req
720. You'd pole vault.
Oh. Bullshit.Copy !req
721. I don't jump for anybody.Copy !req
722. 'Cause I've got self-respect.
You know what that is?Copy !req
723. Is that when a blind cop
kidnaps an Uber driver?Copy !req
724. When I was 14 years old,
my dad took me on a...Copy !req
725. camping trip
out in the desert.Copy !req
726. First night there he jumps in his truck,
he says,Copy !req
727. "I'm going into town
to get some groceries."Copy !req
728. You know
what that really meant?Copy !req
729. That meant
he was going into townCopy !req
730. to get drunk
and hook up with a local.Copy !req
731. You know,
I don't rememberCopy !req
732. signing up for
this TED Talk.Copy !req
733. First few hours go by
and I thinkCopy !req
734. he's probably
got a flat tire.Copy !req
735. Then it gets dark, and then it gets cold.
I'm hungry.Copy !req
736. There is shit in the desert
making noise.Copy !req
737. I'm scared to death.Copy !req
738. And?Copy !req
739. So I sat there all night
freezing my ass off.Copy !req
740. Starving, clutching this
pen knife till dawn.Copy !req
741. This pen knife.Copy !req
742. It's all I had.
It got me through.Copy !req
743. No, it didn't.
The pen knife did nothing.Copy !req
744. It was just a psychological
security blanket.Copy !req
745. Also, you had a terrible,
abusive father.Copy !req
746. I became a man that night.
That's the point.Copy !req
747. You don't need to drop
your kids off in the desert...Copy !req
748. to teach them
how to be a man.Copy !req
749. What do you know
about being a man?Copy !req
750. Wow, this place
is not gentrified at all.Copy !req
751. We're here?
Hey, you think...Copy !req
752. these guys will be gracious
enough to let me use an outletCopy !req
753. - to charge my car?
- Probably not.Copy !req
754. Nuh-uh.Copy !req
755. I'm gonna hold onto these.Copy !req
756. I'd tell you to stay
in the car, but I figure...Copy !req
757. you're too afraid
to get out, so...Copy !req
758. I'm not too afraid
to get out.Copy !req
759. I just don't want to.Copy !req
760. I'm choosing
to stay in the car.Copy !req
761. LAPD. Open up.Copy !req
762. What?Copy !req
763. Five-oh! Five-Oh!
Get this shit.Copy !req
764. Get it out of here, man!Copy !req
765. Get the crystal.
What are you doing?Copy !req
766. There's some
in the back. In the back!Copy !req
767. Amo Cortez?Copy !req
768. Sorry, homie.
This ain't LAPD territory.Copy !req
769. Yeah, it is now.Copy !req
770. - Hey!
- What the fuck, man?Copy !req
771. "Yo, Becs! 'Sup...Copy !req
772. "girl?Copy !req
773. "I'll be slightly late.Copy !req
774. "But I'll be right over...Copy !req
775. "so we can...Copy !req
776. "have sex."Copy !req
777. No.Copy !req
778. "Get down."Copy !req
779. That's too vague.Copy !req
780. "So, we can...Copy !req
781. "achieve penetration."Copy !req
782. Nope, that's not it.Copy !req
783. Don't you need a warrant
or some shit?Copy !req
784. You think
I'm playing games?Copy !req
785. I guess you won't miss
your big, fancy TV then.Copy !req
786. Dude, that's a fish tank.Copy !req
787. That's the microwave,
homes.Copy !req
788. What the hell?
You guys just sit around...Copy !req
789. and watch fish all day?
How's that?Copy !req
790. And, I'm gonna give you
five secondsCopy !req
791. to tell me
where Amo Cortez is!Copy !req
792. "So, we can...Copy !req
793. "... fuck."Copy !req
794. Yeah. That's it.Copy !req
795. People say that.Copy !req
796. I wanna fuck you.Copy !req
797. No. "So, we can...Copy !req
798. "do the thing
that we had...Copy !req
799. "decided upon."
That's good, that's good.Copy !req
800. Sent.Copy !req
801. God, what have I done?Copy !req
802. Attack, Pico!Copy !req
803. What's wrong with him?Copy !req
804. You assholes.Copy !req
805. How much you feed him?Copy !req
806. I said how much
you feed him?Copy !req
807. How do you like that,
tough guy?Copy !req
808. How does that taste?
Taste good?Copy !req
809. How do you like that,
asshole?Copy !req
810. Now, I'm gonna ask you
one more time!Copy !req
811. Where's Amo Cortez?Copy !req
812. Hello, Amo.Copy !req
813. Fuck you guys, man!Copy !req
814. "It's not the size
of the boatCopy !req
815. "it's the motion..."Copy !req
816. Yo, this illegal
as fuck, man!Copy !req
817. You can't just walk in my
momma's house like this!Copy !req
818. Tio, do something, man!
This is bullshit.Copy !req
819. Police brutality in here!Copy !req
820. Shit! Watch outCopy !req
821. for the fucking car, man.
Hey, hey.Copy !req
822. Fuck you, homie!
I got fucking rights!Copy !req
823. No. Fuck you, homie!Copy !req
824. You're looking at five years
for possession.Copy !req
825. Unless you wanna talk.
Uh, Vic?Copy !req
826. No?Copy !req
827. Watch him. I'll be back.Copy !req
828. This is bullshit, man!Copy !req
829. No. No, no. Vic. Vic.
No, no, no.Copy !req
830. Hey, hey, hey.
You cannot just leave him in my car.Copy !req
831. This is a hard no for me.Copy !req
832. This is an UberPool, right?
No, it's not an UberPool!Copy !req
833. Don't act like...Copy !req
834. you know
what UberPool is, okay?Copy !req
835. You learned that
earlier today.Copy !req
836. Here, take this.Copy !req
837. Oh, no, I am not
touching that.Copy !req
838. He can help me crack a caseCopy !req
839. I've been working on
for years!Copy !req
840. He's handcuffed.Copy !req
841. He's locked in a car.
I'm not doing it.Copy !req
842. The safety's on.
No.Copy !req
843. Just point it at him.Copy !req
844. Don't let him smell
you're a civilian.Copy !req
845. Two minutes.
You get your five stars...Copy !req
846. and you're free
to go see your girl, man.Copy !req
847. And you get to tell her how
you helped an officer in need.Copy !req
848. Steve...Copy !req
849. this is your night
in the desert.Copy !req
850. My name is Stu.Copy !req
851. Fuck you.Copy !req
852. Hey, asshole!
How many bags did you feed the dog?Copy !req
853. I don't know, man.
I lost count.Copy !req
854. What?Copy !req
855. We good.Copy !req
856. You okay, buddy?
You okay?Copy !req
857. Yeah.Copy !req
858. Is this an Uber?Copy !req
859. Man, fuck this!
I'm out of here.Copy !req
860. Hey!Copy !req
861. This ain't no Uber.Copy !req
862. I'm undercover.Copy !req
863. And I'm the bad cop,
you little girl.Copy !req
864. Open this door!
My partner may look scary...Copy !req
865. but I'm the wolf
in sheep's clothing.Copy !req
866. What?
Back at the precinctCopy !req
867. they call me "Wolf".Copy !req
868. Stop that!
Why are you laughing?Copy !req
869. Stop that!Copy !req
870. Stop! Stop that!Copy !req
871. Stop laughing! I'm a cop!
I'm being for real!Copy !req
872. Fuck you! You ain't no cop!Copy !req
873. I am a cop!Copy !req
874. I'll take you downtown!Copy !req
875. Stop that!Copy !req
876. You're gonna go to jail!Copy !req
877. I'll fucking
book you, man!Copy !req
878. No!Copy !req
879. Please, please! Stop it!Copy !req
880. Stop kicking!Copy !req
881. Oh, shit!Copy !req
882. How dare you!Copy !req
883. You fucking shot me!Copy !req
884. Fuck!Copy !req
885. You shot me, man!
What the hell did you do?Copy !req
886. You said the safety was on!
It was!Copy !req
887. Oh, my God! He's bleeding out!
I killed him!Copy !req
888. You got shot in the leg.Copy !req
889. Good for you. Take Pico.Copy !req
890. Hey, asshole, get your ass
back in that car.Copy !req
891. Hey, Amo.Copy !req
892. Talk to me. Tedjo deal.Copy !req
893. Hey. The Tedjo deal,
what do you know?Copy !req
894. It's going down.Copy !req
895. When?
Tonight!Copy !req
896. Where?
At the...Copy !req
897. Hey, hey!Copy !req
898. At the...Copy !req
899. Don't you pass out.Copy !req
900. God damn it.
He passed out.Copy !req
901. All right, we gotta
get this guy to the hospital.Copy !req
902. Oh, God.Copy !req
903. What should I do
with this dog?Copy !req
904. Mr. Cortez,
I want you to know I'm really sorry!Copy !req
905. He can't hear you.
He's in shock.Copy !req
906. Are you... Oh, come on.Copy !req
907. You need a tissue?Copy !req
908. Teddy bear?Copy !req
909. You got a blanky in the trunk
you want me to grab?Copy !req
910. Jesus.Copy !req
911. I'm really overwhelmed
right now.Copy !req
912. Tears are a natural responseCopy !req
913. to the immense pressure
I'm currently experiencing.Copy !req
914. Yeah, sure. Naturally.Copy !req
915. Everyone cries.
It's good for you.Copy !req
916. I don't cry.
Pico doesn't cry.Copy !req
917. You cried
when you were a baby.Copy !req
918. Nope. Never.Copy !req
919. - You don't remember that.
- I remember my birth.Copy !req
920. Oh, you're getting rid
of the murder weapon!Copy !req
921. Take Sepulveda
over to Crenshaw.Copy !req
922. There's a hospital there.Copy !req
923. Okay, okay. Hospital.Copy !req
924. Good. It's a hospital. Okay.Copy !req
925. Oh, God. Oh, God.Copy !req
926. Come on! Get your ass
over here and help me!Copy !req
927. You said hospital!
This is a hospital.Copy !req
928. It's a animal hospital!
He's an animal.Copy !req
929. Oh, yeah,
we'll check him for heartworms!Copy !req
930. Get his leg.
Sorry.Copy !req
931. Sorry, sorry!
All right, sorry.Copy !req
932. - Hello, Victor.
- Hey, doc.Copy !req
933. Take a deep breath, all right?
You didn't do anything wrong.Copy !req
934. I shot a guy.
I'm gonna go to jail.Copy !req
935. I'm the guy who would
arrest you for that,Copy !req
936. and I'm not gonna arrest you.Copy !req
937. That scumbag over there...Copy !req
938. sells heroin to kids.Copy !req
939. Now sit down.Copy !req
940. - Is he okay?
- He's fine.Copy !req
941. Just some mild
tissue damage.Copy !req
942. - Pooch okay?
- He's good.Copy !req
943. Eight more came out.
What do you wanna do with him?Copy !req
944. Find him a good home.Copy !req
945. He'll wake up soon.Copy !req
946. Just tell him to stay off
that leg for a while.Copy !req
947. All right, I'm coming!Copy !req
948. Hold on to your poop bags.Copy !req
949. Hey, Pico.
How are you, boy?Copy !req
950. Come here.
Come on, pup-pup.Copy !req
951. Let's go, Peanut.
There we go.Copy !req
952. I'll be back.Copy !req
953. All right. Wake up, asshole.Copy !req
954. Tedjo deal.Copy !req
955. When and where?Copy !req
956. Fuck you, pig.
Oh, yeah?Copy !req
957. Hey, hey, hey.
What are you doing?Copy !req
958. Now, when and where?Copy !req
959. Oh, Amo, you just don't wanna
make this easy, do you?Copy !req
960. When and where?Copy !req
961. Hey, hey, hey! Stop that.
Stop torturing him.Copy !req
962. Says the guy who shot him.Copy !req
963. Well, I didn't do it
on purpose.Copy !req
964. And I feel really horrible
about it.Copy !req
965. Hey! When and where?
Shit!Copy !req
966. You know what?
I have an idea.Copy !req
967. You don't always
have to use brute force.Copy !req
968. You can use
your brain sometimes.Copy !req
969. Yeah?
Yeah.Copy !req
970. All right. Let's see this.Copy !req
971. This is
your phone, right?Copy !req
972. Yeah. Sure is.Copy !req
973. Oh, look,
you've got Twitter. Perfect.Copy !req
974. What are you doing, man?Copy !req
975. "I love Ryan Gosling."Copy !req
976. Open parenthesis.
What? What?Copy !req
977. "So hot."
No!Copy !req
978. Send.
What the...Copy !req
979. Look, bunch of notifications
coming in.Copy !req
980. Very engaged audience.Copy !req
981. "Here are my favorite...Copy !req
982. "... Ryan Gosling movies."Copy !req
983. No, no, no!
"Number three...Copy !req
984. "The Notebook."Copy !req
985. No!
"Number two...Copy !req
986. "The Notebook."Copy !req
987. What?
"Number one...Copy !req
988. "La La Land." Send.Copy !req
989. I hate Gosling, man!
"Our leader..."Copy !req
990. What's the name
of the leader?Copy !req
991. Doc Ramirez, right?Copy !req
992. - Doc?
- "Doc Ramirez...Copy !req
993. "wears diapers...Copy !req
994. "because he is lactose
intolerant and loves cheese."Copy !req
995. That's a lie!Copy !req
996. I'm gonna hit "send".Copy !req
997. I wonder if Doc Ramirez
will see this.Copy !req
998. 1:00 a.m.
at the salvage yard!Copy !req
999. Yes.
Hey, stop!Copy !req
1000. I'm gonna go.Copy !req
1001. Hey.Copy !req
1002. I get it.
It was too much for you.Copy !req
1003. Oh, you mean shooting
an unarmed, handcuffed man...Copy !req
1004. in the back seat of
the electric vehicle I lease?Copy !req
1005. Yeah, it was a lot.Copy !req
1006. And please don't take this
the wrong way...Copy !req
1007. but go fuck yourself.Copy !req
1008. Stay right there.Copy !req
1009. Bad things
happen to people...Copy !req
1010. but it doesn't affect them
if they don't think about it.Copy !req
1011. You are doing great.Copy !req
1012. Just focus on Becca.Copy !req
1013. Becca.Copy !req
1014. Hey, asshole.Copy !req
1015. Is this the Uber app?Copy !req
1016. Uh, Vic?
What?Copy !req
1017. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1018. Oh! What the hell
do you want?Copy !req
1019. This is more about what
you want, Detective Manning.Copy !req
1020. You know my name.
I'm freakin' flattered.Copy !req
1021. Want another partner...
to die on your watch?Copy !req
1022. - Little shit's not my partner.
- No, no, no.Copy !req
1023. Don't listen to him.
He's bluffing.Copy !req
1024. We're very close.Copy !req
1025. No, we're not. Shoot him.Copy !req
1026. I just asked him to be
the godfather of my children.Copy !req
1027. Yes? You'll do it?Copy !req
1028. Save your breath, Steve.Copy !req
1029. We're in love.
There. It's out there. Ahh!Copy !req
1030. This is how
it's gonna play out.Copy !req
1031. That ugly cocksucker...Copy !req
1032. You're not that ugly.Copy !req
1033. is gonna offer up a swap.Copy !req
1034. You for Amo, straight up.Copy !req
1035. Me for Amo, straight up?
Awesome!Copy !req
1036. As soon as
we make the swap...Copy !req
1037. he's gonna shoot us both.Copy !req
1038. Senor Cortez here, too.Copy !req
1039. That's bullshit, man.Copy !req
1040. No, he's right actually.
Boss hates loose ends.Copy !req
1041. I told you.Copy !req
1042. Oh! But after I located
your partner's car here...Copy !req
1043. I called in a few colleagues.Copy !req
1044. How cute.
The rest of Cobra Kai.Copy !req
1045. Hey, guys, why don't
we talk this out?Copy !req
1046. Let's talk about
how we feel. I'll start.Copy !req
1047. I feel scared when someone
has a gun to my head.Copy !req
1048. How do you feel?Copy !req
1049. I'm guessing
swap's off the table.Copy !req
1050. I'll trade you
for a sculpture.Copy !req
1051. I hear
your daughter's hot shit.Copy !req
1052. What'd you say?Copy !req
1053. God damn it.Copy !req
1054. Hold on.Copy !req
1055. Here we go, babies. Get on.Copy !req
1056. Come on. Come on, Jolly.Copy !req
1057. It's okay.
Yeah.Copy !req
1058. Vic!Copy !req
1059. Vic! Vic!Copy !req
1060. Oh, my God.
I'm gonna die.Copy !req
1061. I'm gonna die
at a hospital for animals.Copy !req
1062. No. Hey, hey.Copy !req
1063. Pull it together,
all right?Copy !req
1064. I need you
to take out these lights.Copy !req
1065. Level the playing field.Copy !req
1066. I don't have a gun!Copy !req
1067. Hey!Copy !req
1068. Come on! Hey!Copy !req
1069. Look, I need you to...Copy !req
1070. kill those lights. Now!Copy !req
1071. Come on!
Okay.Copy !req
1072. Hey. We're gonna make it
out of this, okay?Copy !req
1073. You can do it. All right?Copy !req
1074. You can do this!
I can do this!Copy !req
1075. You ready?
Yeah!Copy !req
1076. Go!Copy !req
1077. Fuck you!Copy !req
1078. Hello!Copy !req
1079. How many are left?Copy !req
1080. Just one.Copy !req
1081. I got one bullet.Copy !req
1082. I got one can.Copy !req
1083. If it hits somebody,
I'll know where to shoot.Copy !req
1084. All right, you can do this.
Make this count.Copy !req
1085. All right.Copy !req
1086. I see him.Copy !req
1087. Fuck! I missed!Copy !req
1088. I got him!Copy !req
1089. Fuck. It worked.Copy !req
1090. Hey.Copy !req
1091. I need you to send a text
for me that says...Copy !req
1092. "He's dead."Copy !req
1093. When my grandmother died
she looked so peaceful.Copy !req
1094. These men
do not look peaceful.Copy !req
1095. They look murdered.
Stu.Copy !req
1096. I need Tedjo to think
I'm dead.Copy !req
1097. There are no contacts.
Only one number.Copy !req
1098. That's Tedjo.Copy !req
1099. He gives his guys
burner phones.Copy !req
1100. Sorry, I haven't used T9
in so long.Copy !req
1101. Hit "send".Copy !req
1102. So this Tedjo guy
killed your partner?Copy !req
1103. And he oversees
a heroin pipeline...Copy !req
1104. that's gonna kill
a lot more people.Copy !req
1105. Teenagers. Kids.Copy !req
1106. Okay.Copy !req
1107. Well, heroin is so bad.Copy !req
1108. And I think it's worse
when kids do it.Copy !req
1109. So I hope you...Copy !req
1110. Uh...Copy !req
1111. Hey. Hey!Copy !req
1112. Hey, Nicole!Copy !req
1113. Hi, sweetie.Copy !req
1114. Oh, my God!
I can't believe you're here!Copy !req
1115. I wouldn't miss it.Copy !req
1116. Oh, wow.
Is ol' Vic with ya?Copy !req
1117. Um, you know,
I haven't seen him yet,Copy !req
1118. but I'm sure he'll show up
at some point.Copy !req
1119. Yeah, we'll see about that.Copy !req
1120. Listen, um,
I can't stay long.Copy !req
1121. But before I go,
I'm gonna take that small...Copy !req
1122. scorpion sculpture off
your hands. It is stunning.Copy !req
1123. Thank you.Copy !req
1124. Come here.Copy !req
1125. I have so loved
watching you grow up.Copy !req
1126. Your father
would be so proud.Copy !req
1127. Thank you.Copy !req
1128. All right. Good night.Copy !req
1129. Where the hell are you going?Copy !req
1130. They picked up your plates.Copy !req
1131. They think
you're my partner.Copy !req
1132. If they can run your plates,
they sure as shit can find where you sleep!Copy !req
1133. And your girlfriend.Copy !req
1134. You're in this now.Copy !req
1135. All I wanted to do was drive nights,
a few weekends.Copy !req
1136. Save up enough money to open
a goddamn spin gym for womenCopy !req
1137. with my platonic friendCopy !req
1138. who I happen to be
in love with.Copy !req
1139. Pathetic? Sure.Copy !req
1140. But it was manageable!Copy !req
1141. Do you know how many people
I just watched die?Copy !req
1142. Five.Copy !req
1143. Technically four.
You fainted before Amo got shot in the head.Copy !req
1144. Rhetorical!Copy !req
1145. Rhetorical question, dude!Copy !req
1146. I'm gonna need therapy
for the rest of my life.Copy !req
1147. And I don't have insurance.Copy !req
1148. So I'm gonna have to
get cheap student therapistsCopy !req
1149. who quote white guys
with Indian namesCopy !req
1150. and tell me
that I should meditate.Copy !req
1151. I do meditate!Copy !req
1152. Yes!Copy !req
1153. Get angry! Own that shit!Copy !req
1154. Now, come on. Let's go!Copy !req
1155. What do I need to do
to make this all end?Copy !req
1156. We gotta
get to Venice now.Copy !req
1157. Come on. My daughter could be in trouble.
Let's go.Copy !req
1158. Come on, let's go!Copy !req
1159. Becca!Copy !req
1160. I think we're good.
I don't think anybody followed us.Copy !req
1161. How can you be sure?Copy !req
1162. 'Cause they would've
shot us in the street.Copy !req
1163. Just keep your eyes outCopy !req
1164. for anything suspicious,
all right?Copy !req
1165. Yeah, we're the only
suspicious things in here.Copy !req
1166. Just relax. Grab a drink.Copy !req
1167. Drink, sir?
Be all right.Copy !req
1168. Dad?Copy !req
1169. Hey!
Hey, kid!Copy !req
1170. You actually came!
Yeah, of course I came.Copy !req
1171. Whoa, what is that smell?
A long story.Copy !req
1172. Blood. Dog food. Vomit.Copy !req
1173. Wow. Well, honestly...Copy !req
1174. I'm just glad you're here.
I don't care what it is.Copy !req
1175. - McHenry was just here.
- Really?Copy !req
1176. Who's your friend?Copy !req
1177. Oh. Steve.
Steve.Copy !req
1178. Stu.
Stu.Copy !req
1179. I'm Stu.Copy !req
1180. Hello, Stu.Copy !req
1181. - Stu.
- All right.Copy !req
1182. So, what do you think?Copy !req
1183. Yeah, yeah. Wow.Copy !req
1184. Wow.Copy !req
1185. Right?
Oh.Copy !req
1186. Look at that.Copy !req
1187. Look at the red...Copy !req
1188. flowing into the blue.
It reminds me of, uh...Copy !req
1189. Remember that Bricker case?Copy !req
1190. That guy got shot in the head
in a swimming pool.Copy !req
1191. Blood just kind of flowed out
in the waters.Copy !req
1192. He was a pimp.Copy !req
1193. Cool, yeah.
What do you think of the sculptures, though?Copy !req
1194. Because that's what I do.
I'm a sculptor.Copy !req
1195. No.Copy !req
1196. I was just saying.
Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
1197. Let me show you this...
I gotta, uh...Copy !req
1198. I gotta drop a deuce.Copy !req
1199. Vic!Copy !req
1200. Nah. It's okay.
I'm used to that.Copy !req
1201. So, how do you know my dad?Copy !req
1202. He kidnapped me.Copy !req
1203. We killed some people.Copy !req
1204. Huh.Copy !req
1205. I'm on the fence.Copy !req
1206. Really?
I think she's brilliant.Copy !req
1207. Her pieces
are so emotionally charged.Copy !req
1208. Reminds me
of a young Richard Serra.Copy !req
1209. Like if Tilted Arc
had a soul.Copy !req
1210. I love this one.Copy !req
1211. I'll take it.
Put a sold sign on that, please.Copy !req
1212. It's a spin gym
for women called...Copy !req
1213. "Spinster".Copy !req
1214. That is a terrible name.Copy !req
1215. No, no, no, I don't think
you heard. It's a spin gym.Copy !req
1216. So it's like a pun.Copy !req
1217. It's a play on the words.
It's whimsical.Copy !req
1218. It's welcoming. It's fun.
"Come on in."Copy !req
1219. A spinster is an old woman
who never found love.Copy !req
1220. You might as well call
your gym "Old Hag Bikes".Copy !req
1221. Huh.Copy !req
1222. I'm just saying, like,
if it's your passion...Copy !req
1223. maybe find a better name.
It's not my passion.Copy !req
1224. Well, then
what is your passion?Copy !req
1225. You know, I feel likeCopy !req
1226. LA's full of people
following their passion.Copy !req
1227. We need more people to settle.
We need more settlers.Copy !req
1228. You know, this country
was founded on settlers.Copy !req
1229. - So...
- Hey, honey.Copy !req
1230. Can I talk to you
for a second?Copy !req
1231. Okay.Copy !req
1232. Hey.Copy !req
1233. Great work
with the sculptures, honey.Copy !req
1234. Really solid stuff.Copy !req
1235. Reminiscent of
a young Richard Serra.Copy !req
1236. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
1237. Yeah.Copy !req
1238. Here.Copy !req
1239. Oh, do not hand me a...Copy !req
1240. Take this.
Jesus, Dad.Copy !req
1241. Here.
Dad, I do not want that!Copy !req
1242. There's some really bad shit
going down tonight. Okay?Copy !req
1243. I checked the place out.
It's clear.Copy !req
1244. But it's better safe
than sorry.Copy !req
1245. - Take that.
- Oh, God.Copy !req
1246. Remember how
I taught you to shoot?Copy !req
1247. Yes.Copy !req
1248. I hate when you do this.Copy !req
1249. Anything else?Copy !req
1250. So, I need to borrow
your keys to the house.Copy !req
1251. Yeah, I need to get
into my old storage.Copy !req
1252. Is that why you came?Copy !req
1253. No.Copy !req
1254. God, no.
I wanted to see your work.Copy !req
1255. And make sure you were safe.Copy !req
1256. But I also didn't have time
to run back to Eagle Rock.Copy !req
1257. So it's a three-for-one.Copy !req
1258. For a second there...Copy !req
1259. I actually thought
you gave a shit about my work.Copy !req
1260. Hey. This is serious.Copy !req
1261. I'm close to Tedjo.
Yeah.Copy !req
1262. You're always close
to something except forCopy !req
1263. the people
who actually need you.Copy !req
1264. I'm so done.
Hey.Copy !req
1265. Nicole, wait!Copy !req
1266. Keys?Copy !req
1267. You know I can't see.Copy !req
1268. What did you say to her, man?
You ruined her night.Copy !req
1269. I don't know.
I gave her my Glock.Copy !req
1270. See, that's your problem!Copy !req
1271. You give people Glocks
instead of love.Copy !req
1272. Suddenly the Uber driver
knows all about parenting.Copy !req
1273. You're just very abrasive
and you're insensitive,Copy !req
1274. and you're very scary
and you're...Copy !req
1275. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1276. That's exactly the kind of
thing I'm talking about!Copy !req
1277. Why did you do that?Copy !req
1278. To get cops here.
Just in case. Let's go.Copy !req
1279. Go, go.Copy !req
1280. Where is it?Copy !req
1281. Box.Copy !req
1282. Oh, you used to be happy.
That's adorable.Copy !req
1283. You know, I would have said
you should smile more...Copy !req
1284. but now that I see
this picture...Copy !req
1285. good call
on quitting smiling.Copy !req
1286. Your face looks really bad
when you smile.Copy !req
1287. It also looks really bad
when you don't smile.Copy !req
1288. You have a bad face.Copy !req
1289. Oh, man.Copy !req
1290. I've only got
six rounds left.Copy !req
1291. Are these two other
hostages you took?Copy !req
1292. You're not helping.
Did you just yell...Copy !req
1293. "cruise ship" at them
until they took you?Copy !req
1294. Look, I need more ammo.Copy !req
1295. And we've only got an hour.Copy !req
1296. Outside The Box.Copy !req
1297. Outside the box.
Outside the box.Copy !req
1298. All right, now,
let's brainstorm.Copy !req
1299. We can find
a black market gun dealer.Copy !req
1300. No, it's where I work.
Uber?Copy !req
1301. Like Uber Eats?Copy !req
1302. They have Uber Guns?
Uber Bullets?Copy !req
1303. Oh, this is your
other horrible job?Copy !req
1304. I came here once
to buy some fishing gear.Copy !req
1305. Clerk was a real dick.Copy !req
1306. I wanted to shoot him
in the leg,Copy !req
1307. but I had self-control.Copy !req
1308. Yeah, that was
probably my boss.Copy !req
1309. He's the second worst guy
I've ever met.Copy !req
1310. Who's the first?Copy !req
1311. I'll give you a hint.Copy !req
1312. It's you.Copy !req
1313. All right.Copy !req
1314. I thought you just needed
a couple of bullets, bud.Copy !req
1315. Well, you can never be
too prepared.Copy !req
1316. Yeah, but somebody
has to pay for all this shit.Copy !req
1317. Put it on my Uber tab.
There's no tab!Copy !req
1318. Uber is not a general store
in the Old West!Copy !req
1319. Oh, no.Copy !req
1320. Hey, Becca, I'm so, so sorry.
Uh, something came up.Copy !req
1321. Stu, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
1322. I did not mean
to freak you out.Copy !req
1323. If you don't wanna have sex,
I understand, I'm disgusting.Copy !req
1324. No, no, no.Copy !req
1325. - You didn't freak me out.
- Shit.Copy !req
1326. I'm definitely down to clown.Copy !req
1327. I wanna do the deed.
What?Copy !req
1328. And then
we're gonna have a talk.Copy !req
1329. You know what?
I was gonna say...Copy !req
1330. maybe you should
not come over.Copy !req
1331. Because, okay...
So, Byron called me...Copy !req
1332. and he sounded
really sorry.Copy !req
1333. And he was like, "I should
come over and talk,"Copy !req
1334. and I think
I should just hear him out.Copy !req
1335. You know?
No, no, no.Copy !req
1336. Do not let Byron
come over, okay?Copy !req
1337. He does not deserve to be
let back into your life.Copy !req
1338. Wait for me, okay?Copy !req
1339. I'll be there.
Wait for me.Copy !req
1340. Okay. Oh, God, this night
is so crazy for me.Copy !req
1341. I'll be right there.Copy !req
1342. Lovers' quarrel?Copy !req
1343. Oh, I forgot
you're not lovers.Copy !req
1344. Hey, this is good, right?Copy !req
1345. Fuck off, okay?Copy !req
1346. And put that back!
That's way too much stuff!Copy !req
1347. Why do you
need propane tanks?Copy !req
1348. Are you gonna have
a barbecue later?Copy !req
1349. You have no friends!Copy !req
1350. You're gonna get me fired!Copy !req
1351. You weren't planning
on workingCopy !req
1352. in this shithole
your whole life, were you?Copy !req
1353. Oh, what?
I hurt your feelings?Copy !req
1354. No. Actually,
I feel bad for you.Copy !req
1355. After seeing how you treat
your own daughter...Copy !req
1356. it's clear that you don't
give a shit about anyone else.Copy !req
1357. Wait. Are you mad at me?Copy !req
1358. Or are you mad at that girl
you refuse to man up to?Copy !req
1359. Oh, you're gonna give me
relationship advice?Copy !req
1360. You spend more timeCopy !req
1361. obsessing over
your dead partner...Copy !req
1362. than paying attention
to your alive daughter...Copy !req
1363. who, news flash,
wants to be a part of your life.Copy !req
1364. You know
what that makes you?Copy !req
1365. A good cop?
A shitty father!Copy !req
1366. All right.
You know what?Copy !req
1367. You've been annoying me
all goddamn day...Copy !req
1368. I've been annoying you?Copy !req
1369. What?Copy !req
1370. I don't need a therapy session
from Little Man Uber.Copy !req
1371. Life is hard.
That's what we signed up for.Copy !req
1372. And I handle my shit
like a real man.Copy !req
1373. I don't bitch and moan
and whine and cry...Copy !req
1374. like your pansy ass!Copy !req
1375. Oh, you feel like
a real man, huh?Copy !req
1376. Killing people, avenging,
kicking ass...Copy !req
1377. taking names,
torturing perps.Copy !req
1378. You know what?Copy !req
1379. I could've called
another Uber driver earlier,Copy !req
1380. and you know why I didn't?Copy !req
1381. Because you don't knowCopy !req
1382. - how to use apps!
- No.Copy !req
1383. Because I wouldn't find
one weaker than you!Copy !req
1384. You're too chicken shit to
tell that girl you like her!Copy !req
1385. You're too chicken shit
to stand up to me!Copy !req
1386. And you're a chicken shit...Copy !req
1387. who deserves zero stars.Copy !req
1388. Oh, what?
What, are you getting mad?Copy !req
1389. Come on. Don't you...
Yeah, what are you gonna do about it?Copy !req
1390. What are you gonna do about it, Steve?
My name is Stu!Copy !req
1391. Ow! Jesus! Shit!Copy !req
1392. Oh, here we go.Copy !req
1393. Huh? You think you're
tough shit? Come on!Copy !req
1394. Tough guy, huh?Copy !req
1395. Wanna face me like a man?
All right, here we go.Copy !req
1396. We don't have to be violent!
We can talk!Copy !req
1397. I'm not gonna sit in a kumbaya
circle jerk with you...Copy !req
1398. and cry like a little girl!Copy !req
1399. I'm calling time out!Copy !req
1400. No! No! Time out! Stop!
I said time out!Copy !req
1401. Respect the time out!Copy !req
1402. Wait! Wait! Wait!
Time out!Copy !req
1403. You little shit!Copy !req
1404. Where'd you go?Copy !req
1405. Hey!Copy !req
1406. Girls are strong!Copy !req
1407. They give birth to us.Copy !req
1408. You should wish
you were like a woman!Copy !req
1409. The future is female!Copy !req
1410. Coward!
Where are you?Copy !req
1411. You're the coward!Copy !req
1412. You can't face
your own feelings!Copy !req
1413. You remember that part
of NeverEnding Story...Copy !req
1414. where Atreyu has to walk
through the Oracle Gates...Copy !req
1415. and those giant
sphinx statue things can seeCopy !req
1416. a warrior's
true internal nature?Copy !req
1417. - What?
- And that super scaryCopy !req
1418. knight gets vaporized...Copy !req
1419. because deep down
he doesn't believe in himself?Copy !req
1420. Yeah?Copy !req
1421. That's you!Copy !req
1422. Ha! You live your life
the way...Copy !req
1423. Real men cry!Copy !req
1424. Real men listen
to their feelings!Copy !req
1425. Oh, no.Copy !req
1426. I'll kill you!Copy !req
1427. You fucked
with the wrong Uber driver!Copy !req
1428. - I think you broke my arm.
- Fighting is hard.Copy !req
1429. You gotta have stamina.Copy !req
1430. Yeah.Copy !req
1431. I'm surprised you lasted
as long as you did.Copy !req
1432. That's 'cause I was winning.
You were not.Copy !req
1433. It was fun. I totally won.
I was kicking your ass.Copy !req
1434. I won.Copy !req
1435. Couple of homeless guys
humping in my store, huh?Copy !req
1436. Little squat and fuck?Copy !req
1437. Stuber, that you?Copy !req
1438. "Stuber."Copy !req
1439. Oh, that's great,
'cause you drive an Uber.Copy !req
1440. That's a great pun.Copy !req
1441. Who the hell are you?
And why are you so huge?Copy !req
1442. Jesus, what are you benching?
Like, 310, 350?Copy !req
1443. Easy, kid.Copy !req
1444. Just put the crossbow down.
We'll get out of your hair.Copy !req
1445. Jesus, Stuber!Copy !req
1446. What the hell did you and your
gigolo friend do to my store?Copy !req
1447. It's your dad's store.Copy !req
1448. He's a cop. He's working
an important case.Copy !req
1449. Case?Copy !req
1450. - Is that what you call your butt?
- Look, pal.Copy !req
1451. We're in a hurry.Copy !req
1452. You got another
sporting goods storeCopy !req
1453. you gotta fuck in
or something?Copy !req
1454. Listen, do you know
what this is?Copy !req
1455. Huh.
That's blood.Copy !req
1456. It is.Copy !req
1457. I've done things tonight
you would not believe.Copy !req
1458. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
1459. I signed a lease
on a spin gym.Copy !req
1460. Weird.Copy !req
1461. I provided emotional support
to a male stripper.Copy !req
1462. You're saying these things
like they're scary.Copy !req
1463. I shot a man in cold blood.
Yeah.Copy !req
1464. I watched him die.Copy !req
1465. From someone else's bullet,
but I loosened him up.Copy !req
1466. Yeah, right, Stuber.Copy !req
1467. Hey.Copy !req
1468. His name is Stu.Copy !req
1469. My name is Stu.Copy !req
1470. How do you do?Copy !req
1471. He's fucking crazy.Copy !req
1472. Yeah.Copy !req
1473. Easy, Stu.Copy !req
1474. I quit.Copy !req
1475. And I'm telling your dadCopy !req
1476. you masturbate
in the handicap stall.Copy !req
1477. Oh, don't do that.Copy !req
1478. I'll just use a regular stall.Copy !req
1479. You're pathetic.Copy !req
1480. Stu, hold on.Copy !req
1481. You're my best friend, man.Copy !req
1482. What?Copy !req
1483. Yeah. The back and forth...Copy !req
1484. the razzing, you and me.Copy !req
1485. It's the best part
about this whole stupid job.Copy !req
1486. It's, like,
the worst part for me.Copy !req
1487. Do you have any idea
what it's like...Copy !req
1488. to know the only reason
you even have a jobCopy !req
1489. is because
your dad owns this place?Copy !req
1490. And you're balding? Fuck.Copy !req
1491. I honestly don't see
any hair loss on you.Copy !req
1492. Yeah, you should see
my drain when I shower.Copy !req
1493. Yeah, but that's shedding.Copy !req
1494. That's normal.
Everyone has that.Copy !req
1495. Plus your follicles...
Hey, Stu, we gotta go.Copy !req
1496. Stu, wait.Copy !req
1497. You really don't think
I'm losing hair?Copy !req
1498. If you are...Copy !req
1499. it's very subtle.Copy !req
1500. Thanks, Stu.Copy !req
1501. I'll get that.Copy !req
1502. Low battery charge.Copy !req
1503. Press button to check.Copy !req
1504. Ah, shit. I'm running out of power.
I gotta recharge.Copy !req
1505. No, we don't have time.Copy !req
1506. The salvage yard
is not far anyway.Copy !req
1507. Well, looks like we're at
the end of our road, huh?Copy !req
1508. Not literally.Copy !req
1509. I'll drop you up the road.Copy !req
1510. This was...Copy !req
1511. It wasn't fun.Copy !req
1512. You can't drop me off.
I need you to come with me.Copy !req
1513. No, no, no.Copy !req
1514. You're a cop.
I'm a civilian.Copy !req
1515. You're built for justice.
I'm built for brunch.Copy !req
1516. I do civilian things.
I like walks.Copy !req
1517. And I really wanna get
into brewing beer.Copy !req
1518. Like IPAs,
maybe a nice Hefeweizen.Copy !req
1519. But I cannot do that
if I'm dead.Copy !req
1520. All right.Copy !req
1521. I'll do it myself.Copy !req
1522. Listen...Copy !req
1523. I know you're this,
like, Steven Seagal badassCopy !req
1524. who doesn't need shit
from anyone.Copy !req
1525. Your dad was a dick
to leave you in the desert.Copy !req
1526. Sometimes people need help,Copy !req
1527. and it is not a sign of
weakness to ask for it.Copy !req
1528. Call for backup.Copy !req
1529. I don't know where Vic is.
How would I know?Copy !req
1530. Vic?Copy !req
1531. I know you think I'm the boy
who cried Tedjo,Copy !req
1532. but I got the drop location.Copy !req
1533. I know
this went to the feds...Copy !req
1534. but I really need backup.Copy !req
1535. Okay.Copy !req
1536. Really?Copy !req
1537. You're a pain in my ass,
but I trust you.Copy !req
1538. All right, they're making
a deal in Inglewood.Copy !req
1539. Watseka Salvage.Copy !req
1540. The meet goes down
in half an hour.Copy !req
1541. Send in the cavalry.
Call in SWAT.Copy !req
1542. Okay. You got it, Vic.
And, Captain...Copy !req
1543. thanks for not
giving up on me.Copy !req
1544. You bet.Copy !req
1545. See? Didn't that feel good?Copy !req
1546. You asked for help
and the sky didn't fall.Copy !req
1547. That's technically
not the sky.Copy !req
1548. That's the sky's tears.Copy !req
1549. It's tears of joy 'cause
the sky is proud of you.Copy !req
1550. Please shut up.Copy !req
1551. Well, no worries.Copy !req
1552. I found Vic.Copy !req
1553. Great.Copy !req
1554. No!Copy !req
1555. Can you tell me
what you see?Copy !req
1556. Three black Lexuses.Copy !req
1557. Lexi? Lexuses?Copy !req
1558. Lexi.Copy !req
1559. Yeah. They're waiting
for Tedjo.Copy !req
1560. You should
get out of here, man.Copy !req
1561. Things are gonna get hairy.Copy !req
1562. Are you sure you're okay?Copy !req
1563. Yeah, you should go.
Look, cavalry's on the way...Copy !req
1564. SWAT, the whole deal.Copy !req
1565. Go on, call that girl.Copy !req
1566. Okay.Copy !req
1567. Goodbye.Copy !req
1568. Come on.Copy !req
1569. What are you doing?
Get over here, big guy.Copy !req
1570. After all the horrors
we've been through...Copy !req
1571. we've earned this.
Come on.Copy !req
1572. Save it for a tree, bud.
Hey.Copy !req
1573. Men can hug. Okay?Copy !req
1574. And I know
deep inside that...Copy !req
1575. needlessly muscular body...Copy !req
1576. is the biggest muscle of all,
your heart.Copy !req
1577. And I want to hug that heart.
Stu!Copy !req
1578. Thank you for driving.Copy !req
1579. Oh, my God. Jesus.
Stu, what happened to you?Copy !req
1580. Becca, I have to
tell you something.Copy !req
1581. Okay, then...Copy !req
1582. come over, Stu.Copy !req
1583. And we can...
Becca, I am in love with you.Copy !req
1584. And I have been
since the moment we met.Copy !req
1585. You date assholes.Copy !req
1586. I'm sorry, but you do.Copy !req
1587. And I wait on the sidelines,
and I come when you call...Copy !req
1588. and I encourage you and I make
your dreams my dreams...Copy !req
1589. and I guess I've just been
hoping that somedayCopy !req
1590. you would look at me
and see me differently.Copy !req
1591. And something would click!Copy !req
1592. What the...Copy !req
1593. Uh, I'm sorry,
this is a little unfair. Um...Copy !req
1594. So you were too afraid
to tell meCopy !req
1595. how you felt
and now it's my fault...Copy !req
1596. for not clicking?Copy !req
1597. No, no, no.
You're right.Copy !req
1598. It's not your fault,
it's my fault.Copy !req
1599. I just can't do this anymore.Copy !req
1600. I can't have
casual sex with youCopy !req
1601. and pretend like
I don't feel anything.Copy !req
1602. I can't open
a business with youCopy !req
1603. and hope that that will
make you fall in love with me.Copy !req
1604. Okay, all right.Copy !req
1605. I guess I'll find
the other half somehow.Copy !req
1606. No, no.
Keep my money, seriously.Copy !req
1607. I know it's gonna be
very successfulCopy !req
1608. and as an investor
I'll become super wealthy.Copy !req
1609. But it's your dream,
not mine.Copy !req
1610. Wait, what?Copy !req
1611. But I don't wanna lose you.
Can we still be friends?Copy !req
1612. No.Copy !req
1613. No. Because I am in love
with you.Copy !req
1614. I'm gonna go.Copy !req
1615. I'll give you a call
when I'm notCopy !req
1616. waiting for that click
anymore.Copy !req
1617. Okay.
Bye.Copy !req
1618. Bye.Copy !req
1619. That is a weak-ass cavalry.Copy !req
1620. Are they here?Copy !req
1621. Coming in right here.Copy !req
1622. - Get the shit.
- Bring 'em.Copy !req
1623. Oh, got your ass.Copy !req
1624. Fuck.Copy !req
1625. Nikki?
Dad!Copy !req
1626. Hey, I'm still pissed off
at you...Copy !req
1627. but my show is over.Copy !req
1628. Um, I'm alive
and I definitelyCopy !req
1629. don't need
this gun anymore, so...Copy !req
1630. Yeah, Nikki,
I gotta call you back.Copy !req
1631. McHenry's pulling up.Copy !req
1632. McHenry?Copy !req
1633. She was acting
really weird tonight.Copy !req
1634. Like, really huggy.Copy !req
1635. Yeah, something's not right.
Dad.Copy !req
1636. What's going on?
Where are you?Copy !req
1637. I gotta go.Copy !req
1638. Dad?Copy !req
1639. What's going on?Copy !req
1640. Where are the feds?Copy !req
1641. I didn't think
we needed 'em.Copy !req
1642. The feds took over
this investigation...Copy !req
1643. because they're worried
about a mole in the force.Copy !req
1644. They know someone inside
is on Tedjo's payroll.Copy !req
1645. Now drop that rifle!Copy !req
1646. Drop it!Copy !req
1647. I'm not a freaking mole.Copy !req
1648. You know that.Copy !req
1649. Yeah.Copy !req
1650. I know, Vic.Copy !req
1651. No.Copy !req
1652. You and Tedjo.Copy !req
1653. The whole time.Copy !req
1654. I knew all I had to give you
was one leadCopy !req
1655. and you'd track him
like a dog.Copy !req
1656. Leon, are you sure?Copy !req
1657. That's your fucking intel,
all right, Vic?Copy !req
1658. Where are you?Copy !req
1659. Koreatown.
Cordova and Vermont.Copy !req
1660. All right, Leon, where's...Copy !req
1661. And you got
your bloody footprintsCopy !req
1662. all over Leon's murder scene.Copy !req
1663. And I'm on surveillance
footage at the Sizzle Room.Copy !req
1664. Tedjo's distribution
center, you mean.Copy !req
1665. But then you got greedy...Copy !req
1666. and you got yourself killed
in a shoot-out during a drop.Copy !req
1667. In fact, it happened
right over there.Copy !req
1668. This whole drop's
a setup?Copy !req
1669. No, the drop's
happening tonight.Copy !req
1670. And next week, now that
the feds aren't up our ass.Copy !req
1671. And you tipped off Tedjo.Copy !req
1672. And you got Morris killed,
you rat!Copy !req
1673. They were supposed to be gone
before you guys arrived.Copy !req
1674. Like I said, Vic...Copy !req
1675. Morris wasn't your fault.Copy !req
1676. Wish you were the kind of guy
that could have cashed in too.Copy !req
1677. Hold on, now. Just wait.Copy !req
1678. Silent but deadly.Copy !req
1679. What the hell
are you talking...Copy !req
1680. Yes!Copy !req
1681. I'm sorry.
Yes!Copy !req
1682. - So sorry! Oh, God!
- Stu!Copy !req
1683. Vic! Vic!Copy !req
1684. Yes! Yes!Copy !req
1685. Let's go!Copy !req
1686. Go! Go!Copy !req
1687. I just hit someone
with my car!Copy !req
1688. She'll live.Copy !req
1689. - You hit a crooked cop.
- That was a cop?Copy !req
1690. Oh, my God.
Are you the bad guy?Copy !req
1691. I'm not the bad guy.Copy !req
1692. Come on!Copy !req
1693. Don't let him
out of here!Copy !req
1694. I'm a henchman.Copy !req
1695. I've been aiding
and abetting a bad guy.Copy !req
1696. You Stockholm-syndromed me.Copy !req
1697. That's not cool.
You saved my ass.Copy !req
1698. You saved my ass, kid.
You got brass balls.Copy !req
1699. Don't talk about my balls.
It's me and you.Copy !req
1700. Leave my balls out of it.Copy !req
1701. We're a team, buddy.
Make a U-turn.Copy !req
1702. Very funny.Copy !req
1703. I'm not letting Tedjo
get away. Not again.Copy !req
1704. I'm driving, and we're going
where I say we go.Copy !req
1705. Stu, turn around!
No! Let go!Copy !req
1706. Let go!
God damn it...Copy !req
1707. Stu, turn around!Copy !req
1708. This is my car!Copy !req
1709. Fuck, this is a lease!Copy !req
1710. Will you quit bitching?Copy !req
1711. Now, punch it!Copy !req
1712. You know what?Copy !req
1713. Yeah!Copy !req
1714. You're a badass!Copy !req
1715. - Yeah!
- There she is!Copy !req
1716. Go, Stu, go!Copy !req
1717. There she is!
Yeah! Go!Copy !req
1718. Get me closer!Copy !req
1719. What? No, I'm trying
to get away!Copy !req
1720. - Get me closer! Get me closer!
- No! No! No!Copy !req
1721. Oh, you're scaring me, Stu.Copy !req
1722. And I love it!Copy !req
1723. I spent my time driving
assholes like you around.Copy !req
1724. Got pretty good at it.Copy !req
1725. And I love Styx!Copy !req
1726. You had me pegged
from the start, dude.Copy !req
1727. I'm gonna turn it up.Copy !req
1728. Here we go!Copy !req
1729. Come on!Copy !req
1730. Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
1731. September 1st.Copy !req
1732. Stu's the driver?Copy !req
1733. "Ride still in progress"?Copy !req
1734. I got an idea!Copy !req
1735. I'm gonna throw this
propane tank at them.Copy !req
1736. You shoot it.
It'll blow up their car!Copy !req
1737. This isn't freakin' Jaws!Copy !req
1738. Exactly! Just like Jaws.
It's gonna work. Ready?Copy !req
1739. One, two...Copy !req
1740. go!Copy !req
1741. Okay, they were bad men.Copy !req
1742. They made bad choices...Copy !req
1743. and it was their fault,
not mine.Copy !req
1744. Faster!Copy !req
1745. Hey!Copy !req
1746. Hey! Hey, I can see!
I can see!Copy !req
1747. Come on, come on!
Faster!Copy !req
1748. You got 'em! Yes!
I got 'em! Got 'em! Yes!Copy !req
1749. Yes! Yes! Yes!Copy !req
1750. Low battery charge.Copy !req
1751. Damn.
Press button to check.Copy !req
1752. No, no, no!
I got 'em.Copy !req
1753. What's that beeping?
No! Please, please, please.Copy !req
1754. What's that beeping?
Come on, come on.Copy !req
1755. Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
1756. What the hell's
going on?Copy !req
1757. We're out of juice.Copy !req
1758. Well, switch to gas!Copy !req
1759. There's no gas!
It's an electric car!Copy !req
1760. You got an electric car
that doesn't use gas?Copy !req
1761. Everybody who buys
an electric carCopy !req
1762. has a car
that doesn't use gas.Copy !req
1763. That's what
an electric car is.Copy !req
1764. Well, that shit attitude
is notCopy !req
1765. gonna help us
out of this situation.Copy !req
1766. No attitude will help.Copy !req
1767. Oh, no!Copy !req
1768. Oh, no! Oh, no! Oh, no!Copy !req
1769. All right,
I'm taking out his tires.Copy !req
1770. Okay.Copy !req
1771. Shit! That never works.
Shit.Copy !req
1772. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1773. Vic!Copy !req
1774. Vic, you okay?Copy !req
1775. You should have worn
a seatbelt. Oh, God.Copy !req
1776. Really? Now?Copy !req
1777. Sorry.
I'll bring it up later.Copy !req
1778. Shit.Copy !req
1779. We'll go up there.Copy !req
1780. Watch it.Copy !req
1781. I'm blind again!Copy !req
1782. Give me your phone.Copy !req
1783. It must have fallen out
in the crash.Copy !req
1784. All right.Copy !req
1785. Come on, hurry!Copy !req
1786. Go, go!Copy !req
1787. I got this.Copy !req
1788. Hello, operator? We need help.
Someone's trying to murder us!Copy !req
1789. Hello, operator?
We need help.Copy !req
1790. Someone's trying
to murder us! Shit.Copy !req
1791. Fuck!
Fuck!Copy !req
1792. Okay, okay.Copy !req
1793. Come on.Copy !req
1794. Here.Copy !req
1795. Please, no.Copy !req
1796. No, no, no.
We're the good guys.Copy !req
1797. He's a cop. I'm with Uber.Copy !req
1798. Go, go, go.Copy !req
1799. Get down, get down.
Get down.Copy !req
1800. Does anyone have a phone?Copy !req
1801. Thank you.Copy !req
1802. I'm gonna call 911.Copy !req
1803. No! No cops.Copy !req
1804. Right.Copy !req
1805. There's no telling who
else is on his payroll. Right.Copy !req
1806. Okay. We just gotta get outCopy !req
1807. of here and we're home free.Copy !req
1808. I got us an UberSUV,
so we can all pile in.Copy !req
1809. Tariq, 4.8 stars, is gonna
be here in three minutes.Copy !req
1810. Six minutes!Copy !req
1811. He took a right!Copy !req
1812. You're going
the wrong way, Tariq!Copy !req
1813. What are you doing, dude?Copy !req
1814. Everyone, pull out
your phones.Copy !req
1815. Call Uber.Copy !req
1816. Uber. Uber.Copy !req
1817. Ride-share. Ride-share.Copy !req
1818. Yeah, dude.
We know what Uber is.Copy !req
1819. What are you doing?Copy !req
1820. I'm gonna Uber us
out of here myself.Copy !req
1821. No, he's gonna be here
in four minutes, dude.Copy !req
1822. He's on the...Copy !req
1823. Fuck, he took another right!Copy !req
1824. How does he have 4.8 stars?Copy !req
1825. Huh?Copy !req
1826. Who parked a boat here?Copy !req
1827. Come on!Copy !req
1828. Come on, we gotta go!
Let's go.Copy !req
1829. Hey!Copy !req
1830. - Fuck!
- Damn.Copy !req
1831. Wait.Copy !req
1832. Wait.Copy !req
1833. He has nothing
to do with this.Copy !req
1834. All right?
Just let him go.Copy !req
1835. He's a good man.
I forced him to be here.Copy !req
1836. He's done nothing to you.Copy !req
1837. What the fuck?Copy !req
1838. I was going for his face.Copy !req
1839. That's the feds.Copy !req
1840. It's over, Tedjo.
Put the gun down.Copy !req
1841. Yeah, we called Agent Tariq.Copy !req
1842. One of the top agents.
Five stars.Copy !req
1843. He brought
his undercover crew with him.Copy !req
1844. Top of his class at Quantico.
He's Dark Ops.Copy !req
1845. Los Angeles as well.Copy !req
1846. Tariq, don't shoot him!
Don't do it! Don't do it.Copy !req
1847. - Don't shoot!
- Don't do it!Copy !req
1848. You assholes called multiple
Ubers at the same time?Copy !req
1849. So uncool!Copy !req
1850. God damn it.Copy !req
1851. We're fucked.Copy !req
1852. - Vic?
- Stu!Copy !req
1853. - Vic?
- Get the gun!Copy !req
1854. Grab the gun!Copy !req
1855. Watch out for his fists!Copy !req
1856. Stu, get the gun!Copy !req
1857. Stop! Stop it!Copy !req
1858. I'm gonna shoot you!Copy !req
1859. Stop!Copy !req
1860. Stop it! Stop!Copy !req
1861. Stu, take the shot!
Shoot!Copy !req
1862. Just defeat him!
Come on!Copy !req
1863. He's so little!Copy !req
1864. - Stop it!
- Stu!Copy !req
1865. Stu!Copy !req
1866. Take the shot, Stu!Copy !req
1867. Shoot!
Come on!Copy !req
1868. Stu, take the shot!Copy !req
1869. Back away from my dad!Copy !req
1870. - Nicole?
- Back away from him!Copy !req
1871. Back away!Copy !req
1872. Yes!Copy !req
1873. Dad, come on.
Get up, get up!Copy !req
1874. Watch out. Watch out!Copy !req
1875. Let him go. Let him go.Copy !req
1876. No! No!Copy !req
1877. No.Copy !req
1878. I'm going to take
everything from you.Copy !req
1879. No.Copy !req
1880. I will kill you...Copy !req
1881. if you touch my daughter!Copy !req
1882. Dad, stop!Copy !req
1883. Dad, don't!Copy !req
1884. Dad, fucking stop!Copy !req
1885. Dad, it's over.Copy !req
1886. That's it.Copy !req
1887. - Get down!
- Don't move!Copy !req
1888. Stay down.Copy !req
1889. Come on, Dad.Copy !req
1890. On your stomach!Copy !req
1891. On your stomach! Roll over!Copy !req
1892. Roll over.Copy !req
1893. On your stomach, now!Copy !req
1894. Hands to your side.
Cuff him.Copy !req
1895. Are you all right?Copy !req
1896. I got shot.Copy !req
1897. I got shot right where
the blood is coming from.Copy !req
1898. Gonna send
a helicopter to you.Copy !req
1899. No!Copy !req
1900. It was a lease!Copy !req
1901. There's no gasoline!
How would it catch fire?Copy !req
1902. The propane!Copy !req
1903. - Hey.
- Hey, hey, kid.Copy !req
1904. How you feeling?
I can see.Copy !req
1905. Well, that's good.Copy !req
1906. You look great.
Thanks.Copy !req
1907. I look like
I've been up all night.Copy !req
1908. Hey.Copy !req
1909. I'm really sorry.Copy !req
1910. It's okay.Copy !req
1911. No, it's not.Copy !req
1912. I'm gonna be better, okay?
I promise.Copy !req
1913. We'll both be better,
how about that?Copy !req
1914. Thank you
for taking care of him.Copy !req
1915. I didn't want to.Copy !req
1916. He made me.Copy !req
1917. And for literally
taking a bullet for me.Copy !req
1918. Yeah, I guess
that was pretty heroic, huh?Copy !req
1919. If I do get a medal,Copy !req
1920. I'm gonna donate it
to an orphanage.Copy !req
1921. Just to inspire
those little shits.Copy !req
1922. We recovered your phones
from the wreckage.Copy !req
1923. Yes!Copy !req
1924. Thank you.Copy !req
1925. Thank you.Copy !req
1926. Good job.
Thanks.Copy !req
1927. Thank you.Copy !req
1928. Surge pricing, baby!Copy !req
1929. Mother frigger.Copy !req
1930. No tip?Copy !req
1931. That's an interesting choice.Copy !req
1932. Five stars.Copy !req
1933. Thank you.Copy !req
1934. Uh...Copy !req
1935. So, I didn't think you were
gonna give me five stars...Copy !req
1936. so I already
rated you three stars.Copy !req
1937. But given the circumstances,
I feel that's very generous.Copy !req
1938. Hey.Copy !req
1939. Thank you.Copy !req
1940. For saving her.Copy !req
1941. Thank you.Copy !req
1942. Do you need a tissue
for those tears?Copy !req
1943. No, that's...Copy !req
1944. There must be some hot sauce
in your hair.Copy !req
1945. Must be.Copy !req
1946. You think about that
Nick Lachey-looking fuck...Copy !req
1947. who betrayed you.Copy !req
1948. I know who he is. Kevin.Copy !req
1949. Accountant. Worthless.
Put it on the bike.Copy !req
1950. On top of that hill is frose,
six Midol, and alimony!Copy !req
1951. You get half of...Copy !req
1952. Hey. Here.
Hey, Howard. Thank you.Copy !req
1953. Merry Christmas.
Merry Christmas.Copy !req
1954. Hey, get up here.
Look at that. Look at that.Copy !req
1955. All right, buddy.Copy !req
1956. Come on.
Let's go see Nicole.Copy !req
1957. Let's go see Nicole.
Come on.Copy !req
1958. Hey. Merry Christmas.
Hey.Copy !req
1959. Hey.Copy !req
1960. Oh, yeah,
we're dating now.Copy !req
1961. Surprise.Copy !req
1962. We were debating
when to tell you, but...Copy !req
1963. - Christmas felt right.
- Mmm-hmm.Copy !req
1964. You all right?Copy !req
1965. This is your night
in the desert.Copy !req
1966. Come on, bud.Copy !req
1967. Come on, buddy.Copy !req