Storytelling (2001)

1. - Hey, you wanna hear my short story now?

2. - Huh?

3. - I can read it to you.

4. - You mean again?

5. - Well, I changed the ending a little.

6. - Oh, what happens now?

7. - Well, actually it's the same but longer.

8. I think it's better, more raw.

9. - Then maybe you should just read the ending.

10. - But it won't make sense if you hear it out of context.

11. - I think you should leave it the way it was.

12. It was good.

13. - So you don't wanna hear my new ending?

14. - You'll read it in class tomorrow.

15. Surprise me.

16. Anyway, I have to go.

17. I promised Melinda I'd help her with her oral.

18. - You're tired of me, I can tell.

19. - Marcus, I'm tired. That's all.

20. - You've lost interest.

21. You hardly even sweat anymore when we have sex.

22. - I was never much of a sweater. You know that.

23. - Look, Vi, I don't blame you.

24. You feel pity now.

25. Pleasure isn't there anymore.

26. The kinkiness is gone.

27. You've become kind.

28. - "When he saw her, it was

29. as if he could walk like a normal person.

30. His legs didn't swing, his arms didn't spaz away.

31. He wasn't a freak anymore,

32. for she made him forget his affliction.

33. No more cerebral palsy.

34. From now on, CP stood for cerebral person.

35. He was a cerebral person."

36. - I thought that was really good, Marcus.

37. Really moving and emotional.

38. - Yeah, I thought it was really emotional, too.

39. - And I mean, really good word choices.

40. It kind of reminded me a little of Faulkner,

41. but East Coast and disabled.

42. - Or Flannery O'Connor.

43. She had multiple sclerosis.

44. - And Borges, he was blind.

45. - Updike has psoriasis.

46. - Um, maybe I'm wrong, but um,

47. I'm afraid I found the whole thing

48. to be a little trite.

49. Its earnestness is, well uh,

50. it's a little embarrassing.

51. And those adjectives are flatfooted and redundant.

52. I'm sorry, I mean...

53. Anyway, don't. What do I know?

54. Don't even listen to what I say.

55. I mean.

56. - Anyone else?

57. Catherine is right.

58. Your story is a piece of shit.

59. You express nothing but banalities,

60. and, formally speaking,

61. you are unable to construct a single compelling sentence.

62. You ride on a wave of cliches so worn in fact,

63. it actually approaches a level of grotesquerie.

64. And your subtitle, "The Rawness of Truth,"

65. is that supposed to be a joke of some sort?

66. Or are you just being pretentious?

67. Okay.

68. Who's next?

69. Marcus! Marcus, wait up!

70. - What do you want?

71. - Don't be so upset, it's okay.

72. - What the fuck are you talking about? What's okay?

73. - You know he hated my story also.

74. - You story was terrible.

75. - Marcus, you'll write something better next time.

76. - Patronizing fuck!

77. If you had just been honest with me in the first place,

78. I wouldn't have read it.

79. I knew it was shit,

80. but like an idiot, I believed you.

81. - That's not fair, I was honest.

82. Just because I wasn't sucking up like that bitch, Catherine!

83. - Well, I sure didn't hear you voice your opinion

84. in there when it mattered!

85. - I admit it, I was scared.

86. I was shocked, in fact, by what he said.

87. And he's so convincing.

88. I'm sorry if I let you down, but really,

89. I just still say he's just one opinion.

90. I don't even like his books that much.

91. They're all so aggressively confrontational.

92. I don't care if he's won the Pulitzer Prize.

93. - You just wanna fuck him,

94. like Catherine and every other white cunt on campus.

95. - Marcus, you can't just unilaterally decide to end things.

96. This is a relationship we're talking about, a friendship.

97. You don't just-

98. Fuck you! Fuck him!

99. Fuck him! Fuck him!

100. - Vi, are you okay?

101. Yes, I'm okay. I'm totally okay.

102. - You did the right thing.

103. - I know that.

104. Fucking cripple.

105. Why do I waste my time with undergrads?

106. They're all so juvenile!

107. Ugh, I just thought Marcus would be different.

108. I mean, he's got CP.

109. - What are you gonna do now?

110. - I don't know.

111. Go to the bar, get laid, whatever.

112. Don't worry about me, I'll be just fine.

113. What can I get you?

114. - I'll just have a beer.

115. Here you go.

116. My goodness!

117. Too cold.

118. Cold blooded, cold blooded.

119. I'm tellin' you the truth!

120. Let me stop here at this gas station.

121. Uh, gimme $3 of no-lead. Can't afford nothing else.

122. Better get me two hot dogs and a strawberry soda.

123. - Hi.

124. - Hello, Vi.

125. - What are you doing here?

126. - What are you doing here?

127. - I'm sorry, I didn't mean.

128. I mean, I just didn't expect

129. to run into you here, that's all.

130. - Well, now you have.

131. Yeah.

132. Um, then, are you alone?

133. - Mm-hmm.

134. - Can I join you?

135. - Gee, thanks.

136. Well um, I just wanted to say

137. that I'm, um, I'm really happy with the class.

138. And um.

139. I know you must hear this all the time,

140. but I'm also a great admirer of your work.

141. "A Sunday Lynching," especially

142. really, um, spoke to me.

143. God, I hope I'm not embarrassing you.

144. - You're not.

145. - Good.

146. 'Cause I, um,

147. I really agreed with everything you had to say last week

148. about how bad my story was.

149. - That's good.

150. - And I also agreed with what you said today

151. about Marcus's story.

152. It is a piece of shit.

153. - You have beautiful skin.

154. - Thank you.

155. So Catherine seems like she might become

156. a really good writer.

157. - Maybe.

158. She's okay.

159. - Aren't you going out with Catherine?

160. I'm sorry, it's none of my business.

161. I didn't mean.

162. - I'm not going out with Catherine.

163. - Oh.

164. Do you think I have potential as a writer?

165. - No.

166. - Thank you for being honest.

167. I have so much respect for you.

168. Can I just freshen up for a second?

169. - It's over there.

170. - Thanks.

171. Don't be a racist.

172. Don't be a racist.

173. Don't be a racist. Don't be a racist.

174. Don't be a racist.

175. It's a really nice place that you have.

176. Is the rent high?

177. - Take off your top.

178. Now take off the rest.

179. Turn around.

180. Bend over.

181. Say,

182. Nigger, fuck me.

183. Oh, but I- I can't say that.

184. Then say, Ni.

185. - Ni.

186. - Ger.

187. - Ger.

188. - Say, nigger.

189. - Nigger.

190. - Fuck me hard.

191. - Fuck me hard!

192. - Say, nigger, fuck me hard.

193. - Nigger, fuck me hard.

194. Again.

195. - Nigger, fuck me hard!

196. - Nigger, fuck me hard.

197. - Again.

198. Again.

199. - Again!

200. - Nigger, fuck me hard!

201. - Freak.

202. - Can, can I come in?

203. You're all sweaty.

204. - "So John flipped her around,

205. and slammed her against the wall.

206. Jane braced herself.

207. She thought about her mother.

208. She thought about Peter.

209. She thought about god, and rape.

210. Say, fuck me, nigger, fuck me hard.

211. John's flesh abraded her soft skin.

212. There would be marks.

213. She acquiesced and said what he asked her to say,

214. and did what he asked her to do.

215. She had entered college with hope, with dignity,

216. but she would graduate as a whore."

217. - Why do people have to be so ugly,

218. write about such ugly characters?

219. It's perverted.

220. I know you all think that I'm being prissy,

221. but I don't care.

222. I was brought up in a certain way,

223. and this is mean-spirited.

224. - Yeah.

225. Well, I- it did seem

226. a little affected.

227. Like by using taboo language,

228. you were trying to shock us

229. about the hollowness of your characters.

230. - I think it was a little bit racist.

231. - It was completely racist.

232. And beyond that, I felt deeply offended as a woman.

233. As if women could only operate

234. from experiences of objectification.

235. - Totally phallocentric.

236. - And so weirdly misogynistic.

237. I mean, why does Jane go through with this?

238. Is she stupid?

239. - Hey, but wasn't this a rape?

240. Or did I miss something?

241. Because, I'm, I'm confused, because if this was a rape,

242. then why would she be a whore?

243. - It was confessional, yet dishonest.

244. Jane pretends to be horrified by the sexuality

245. that she in fact fetishizes.

246. She subsumes herself to the myth

247. of black male sexual potency,

248. but then doesn't follow through.

249. She thinks she respects Afro Americans,

250. and thinks they're cool and exotic.

251. What a notch he'd make in her belt.

252. But of course, it all comes down to Mandingo cliche,

253. and he calls her on it.

254. In classic racist tradition,

255. she demonizes, then runs for cover.

256. But then, how could she behave otherwise?

257. She's just a spoiled, suburban white girl

258. with a Benetton rainbow complex.

259. It's just my opinion and what do I know,

260. but I think it's a callow piece of writing.

261. - Callow and coy.

262. Jane wants more, but isn't honest enough to admit it.

263. In the end she returns to the safety

264. of her crippled, translation: sexually impotent, boyfriend.

265. - This is bullshit!

266. Her story was the truth!

267. - Right.

268. - It's unbelievable!

269. - It's cliched!

270. - It's disgusting! - But it happened!

271. - I don't know about what happened, Vi,

272. because once you start writing, it all becomes fiction.

273. Still, it certainly is an improvement over your last story.

274. There is now at least a beginning, a middle,

275. and an end.

276. "Toby, I just know

277. you're going to become a movie star.

278. Please don't forget me when you make it to the top.

279. I will always love you. Pam."

280. - Hello? - Uh, hello.

281. Um, is this Pam?

282. - Who is this? - Toby Oxman.

283. Toby? Oh, hi, how are you?

284. - Oh, I'm fine. How are you?

285. - Great. - Great!

286. So what's going on?

287. - Oh, that's what I was just gonna ask you.

288. But you called.

289. - Oh, ah, yeah. Well, um.

290. I- I was, I was just calling because, uh, well,

291. I was, I was wondering if you still remembered me,

292. which I guess you do.

293. Yeah?

294. - So look at where we are.

295. The year 2000! Can you believe it?

296. I mean, did you ever think we would actually make it?

297. Um, well, yeah.

298. So are you still acting?

299. Uh, um, no.

300. Not anymore.

301. No, um, I kind of came to terms with myself.

302. I realized I had done what I had to do

303. and uh, it was time to move on.

304. Oh, so what did you do after you gave up on acting?

305. - Well, I went to law school, if you can believe that.

306. - I believe it. - Yeah, well, it was really

307. all kind of a joke and a rip-off, the whole thing,

308. so I dropped out.

309. - Oh, that's too bad.

310. - Yeah, well, but then it got me writing,

311. so that was a good thing.

312. Anything I might know about?

313. - Well uh, I kinda let things go

314. on this novel I'd been really into.

315. I mean, the whole publishing industry

316. is totally corrupt.

317. Really, it's finished.

318. That's too bad.

319. - Hmm, I worked over at a homeless shelter for a while,

320. drove a cab to pay the rent, but I mean, that was, like,

321. I mean, I have some dignity.

322. That's good.

323. So then what do you do now?

324. - I'm a documentary filmmaker.

325. Oh? Anything I might have seen?

326. - Mm, not yet.

327. I'm hoping to get a grant for this one project on teenagers.

328. Geez, remember when we were teenagers?

329. Yeah, you didn't wanna take me to the prom.

330. - Oh, I- I don't remember that.

331. I do.

332. - Well, ugh, but it was so long ago.

333. You know, we were so different back then.

334. Uh, well, anyway, um,

335. I'm, so I'm looking for subjects for this documentary

336. on teenage-life in suburbia.

337. It's kind of a, an exploration

338. of the psyche, of its mythology.

339. I wrote to Derrida to see if he'd like to do the narration,

340. but everything's still kind of in development at this point.

341. Huh.

342. - I work in a shoe store right now.

343. Uh, but it's cool, I'm, I'm not ashamed.

344. I mean, I- I, really,

345. I have a much stronger sense of self now.

346. And uh, anyway, it's really very temporary.

347. - That's good. - Yeah.

348. Um, so anyway, tell me, what about you?

349. Uh, I'd heard through the grapevine

350. that you were producing movies.

351. Yeah, but not anymore.

352. Oh. Tired of life in the fast lane?

353. Yeah.

354. So, you're, um, married?

355. - Yeah. - Huh.

356. - Kids? - Yeah.

357. - How many? - Three.

358. - Great.

359. Ah, how old are they?

360. Eight, six, and four.

361. - Wow, that really is great.

362. Hm, in a few years, who knows,

363. maybe they'll wanna be in my documentary.

364. Listen, Toby, I can't really talk right now.

365. Do you mind if I call you back?

366. - Yeah, sure.

367. - Okay, bye. - Okay, bye.

368. Maybe she has caller ID.

369. Do you have any hobbies?

370. - No, not really.

371. Any books you like to read for fun?

372. - No.

373. - How about those underground comics?

374. - I hate reading.

375. - All right, Scooby, let's not beat around the bush.

376. With your attitude, you not gonna get in anywhere.

377. - Okay.

378. - "Okay." So you just don't care?

379. L- I- let me ask you something,

380. not as your guidance counselor, but as a friend.

381. What do you wanna do with your life?

382. I mean, what, what kinda long-term goals

383. can you possibly have?

384. - I don't know.

385. - Come on, you can talk to me.

386. Tell me what you're thinking.

387. - Well, I mean, I wanna be on TV.

388. Maybe have a talk show or something,

389. like Conan or early Letterman.

390. - Ah-ha!

391. And how is it you hope to achieve this goal?

392. - I don't know. See if I have any connections?

393. - Did you knock on his door?

394. - Yes, but he just shouted at me and used the F word.

395. - Scooby, dinner!

396. - Would anyone be interested

397. in being hypnotized after dinner?

398. No.

399. - Let's just start.

400. - I don't know what's wrong with that kid.

401. - Maybe he's gay. - Don't ever say that.

402. - What if he is? - He isn't.

403. - Marty, ignore him.

404. - He's vegetarian,

405. doesn't do sports- - Brady!

406. - And even if he is.

407. - Gay people are people too, you know?

408. You're just being prejudiced.

409. - I don't care if he's gay.

410. I'm cool, I mean, it's not

411. like I have to share his room or anything.

412. - I just wanna know what the hell he does in his room

413. that's so interesting he doesn't come down for dinner.

414. - Maybe he's building a bomb, just like-

415. - Don't even joke about that.

416. - I'm serious.

417. What happens if he blows up the school?

418. Fuck!

419. - That's it, I'm going in there.

420. Was anyone in my room today?

421. - Is everything okay?

422. - My CD case like totally collapsed.

423. Gonna have to re-catalog all weekend.

424. Hey, can you pass the salad over?

425. - Steak's really good tonight.

426. - Good.

427. - Do you have a lot of homework?

428. - I don't know.

429. - What do you mean, you don't know?

430. You either got a lot or you don't.

431. What's not to know?

432. - Marty.

433. - You started filling out your college applications yet?

434. - I'm not going to college.

435. - What are you gonna do?

436. - I don't know.

437. What do you know?

438. - Dad, I'm trying to figure things out right now, okay?

439. It's like, really hard

440. and I'm just listening to some old Elton John, and-

441. - Gay. - Out.

442. - Leave the table.

443. - What? - You heard me.

444. Leave the table!

445. - Man, I'm outta here. This family is so fucked!

446. - Mom, it's not fair if Brady can say the F word

447. and I can't.

448. - Yeah well, Mikey, listen up, 'cause here's a lesson.

449. Life's not fair.

450. - I'll talk to you later. - I'll see you later.

451. - Later. - Thanks, Esposito.

452. Hey!

453. - Consuelo?

454. Consuelo?

455. - Yes, Mikey?

456. - Do you have any brothers or sisters?

457. - Yes.

458. - Really? How many?

459. - Four brothers and five sisters.

460. - Wow.

461. But why did your parents have so many children?

462. I mean, if they were poor, wouldn't it be better

463. to just have one or two?

464. It was God's will.

465. - But do you really believe in God?

466. In heaven, hell, and angels and all that kind of stuff?

467. - No.

468. - So how was school today?

469. - The same.

470. - Same. Same as what?

471. - Just the same.

472. - We're studying the Holocaust in social studies.

473. - Oh, yeah?

474. - We did the same thing last year also.

475. - How is the class?

476. - I'm supposed to watch "Schindler's List" for homework.

477. The movie's like almost four hours.

478. Then I'm supposed to write a report on survivors.

479. You know any survivors, Dad?

480. - Hmm, well. Do I know any?

481. Personally?

482. - Well, technically, your Zeda is a survivor.

483. - He was in a concentration camp?

484. - Well, no, but he had to escape the Nazis.

485. - But I thought he came over to America before the war?

486. - Well, he did, with his family,

487. but his cousins, they had to stay and they were all killed,

488. and if he'd stayed, he would've been killed.

489. So in my book, he's a survivor.

490. - Even though it was only his cousins that were killed?

491. But that could've happened to him,

492. or, or to me, if I'd been alive, or you.

493. - Or me?

494. - You mean, then we're all survivors?

495. - Well, yes.

496. If it hadn't been for Hitler,

497. he wouldn't have had to leave Europe.

498. We would've been European.

499. - But then, in a sense,

500. since you would've never have met Dad

501. if your family had stayed in Europe,

502. if it weren't for Hitler none of us would've been born.

503. - Get the hell outta here!

504. - Man! It's just, like, conversation.

505. - Tell me, you make a living at this?

506. - Well, sir, uh, I'm actually not doing this for the money.

507. When you make a documentary, uh, you do it for many reasons,

508. but money is certainly not one of them.

509. - I don't get it.

510. Well, sir, uh,

511. a lot has happened to the landscape

512. of the suburban high school since I was a student.

513. And I feel it would be a valuable,

514. perhaps even enlightening endeavor,

515. to chronicle the changes,

516. to get intimate with the realities

517. kids and parents face in American schools today.

518. - Yeah, well, whatever.

519. I'll let you know if there's interest.

520. - Excuse me, where's the bathroom?

521. - You a pervert?

522. No. Uh.

523. Uh, actually, I'm a, I'm a documentary filmmaker.

524. - Oh. You mean like "Blair Witch Project"?

525. Uh, well, no. Um.

526. Uh, I'm doing one on high school students, in fact.

527. - What for?

528. - Well, it's kind of, um.

529. It's kind of a sociological study

530. on the aftermath of Columbine.

531. - Is this, like, to get into Sundance?

532. - Yeah, well, it's possible they would be interested in it.

533. Yeah.

534. - Doubt it.

535. - Actually, there is some interest

536. from the Sundance Channel.

537. - Whoopee.

538. - HBO and MTV have also shown some interest. So.

539. - So you have connections?

540. - You see, we're trying to do a film on suburban lifestyles.

541. Eh, kind of an "American Family" for the new millennium.

542. - I thought this was about kids getting into college?

543. - Oh, uh, it is. I mean, um.

544. - Which is it? You got to keep your focus straight.

545. Uh, yeah, uh, yeah, well,

546. you're, you're absolutely right, um.

547. The, the focus is on the college admissions process today.

548. - And you want Scooby to be the focus of all this?

549. - Yeah, Scooby and a few other students

550. of different socioeconomic backgrounds.

551. - You didn't mention any other students before.

552. - Oh well, I- I don't have any yet, but uh-

553. - Either Scooby is the focus or forget it.

554. - Yeah, I thought I was the focus.

555. - I wanna be the focus.

556. - Eh! - Toby,

557. we need this to be a positive experience.

558. - Yeah, um, well, I suppose I could, I could reconceive.

559. - Reconceive.

560. - 'Cause Scooby does have a quality

561. that I've been looking for.

562. He had a quality that is emblematic of America today.

563. It's part disillusionment, part hope.

564. - Twinkies!

565. - Boys, take napkins. Napkins.

566. Not to be crass,

567. but what do we get out of this?

568. Don't worry, he, he doesn't mean money.

569. Oh, I know. I know that.

570. Um, well, sharing your story,

571. your, your ups and downs and so forth,

572. can, I hope, be an illuminating experience.

573. - Yeah. How do we know we won't be exploited?

574. - No, it, it's true.

575. - Yeah, Mr. Livingston, I fully understand

576. and I share your concerns.

577. You feel vulnerable.

578. And I know that this is a very difficult question,

579. but what it comes down to is;

580. can you make the leap of faith in me,

581. in the same way that I have to make

582. the leap of faith in you?

583. - This is a great school.

584. I don't care what anybody says.

585. I mean, it's not perfect,

586. but like the people are really cool,

587. like the teachers and kids, they really care and all.

588. And I know, they, they make fun of New Jersey all the time,

589. but I don't care, 'cause they're just snobs.

590. 'Cause Jersey is where America's at!

591. Walking down these hallways,

592. hallways just like the ones I once walked down

593. as a teenager, I couldn't help thinking back

594. to a time when every day I woke up depressed,

595. suicidal, consumed by despair.

596. Had things changed?

597. Was the competition to get into the most prestigious schools

598. still a requisite rite of passage?

599. Beneath these masks of courtesy and friendliness,

600. I knew that there were darker forces at work.

601. And I knew that Scooby was the key to revealing the truth.

602. Scooby, Scooby, Scooby.

603. What are you thinking?

604. College, SATs, your parents,

605. your brothers, your friends.

606. How is it you deal with all this stress?

607. - The pressure to get into the college

608. of your choice is incredible.

609. You know, they did a study recently

610. of the youth in Bosnia during the bombing,

611. and they found that the stress

612. the young people experience there

613. was less than what American high school students go through

614. when applying to college.

615. Is that right?

616. - Yeah. - My God.

617. So what do you think?

618. - Well, I'm not really sure what you're trying to say.

619. It's funny, I suppose.

620. But it seems glib and facile

621. to make fun of how idiotic these people are.

622. - I'm not making fun.

623. Ah, I'm showing it as it really is.

624. - You're showing how superior you are to your subject.

625. - No, but I- I like my subject. I like these people.

626. - No, you don't. - Yes, I do! I love them!

627. - The camerawork's nice.

628. - Thanks.

629. I'll tell Mike.

630. Well. Uh. - No.

631. - It's still just the beginning.

632. Oh, I know I can dig deeper.

633. - But Marj. May I call you Marj?

634. What it really boils down to is,

635. what does it mean to be a Jew?

636. Exactly, Tzedakah, charity.

637. And the new wing at Beth Israel is real.

638. Well, actually, last year you gave $500.

639. But this year, $1,000 would not only be a mitzvah,

640. it would bring you to a new level.

641. Yes, of course, your gift would also give you

642. a Chagall menorah and two tickets

643. to the dinner dance this spring.

644. Of cour- ... because it's true.

645. Israel needs us now.

646. If not now, when?

647. That's wonderful.

648. I- I'll speak to you next week.

649. You too. Take care.

650. Hi, Scooby.

651. Scooby. Scooby?

652. How was school today?

653. - Fine.

654. - Ready for tomorrow?

655. - What's tomorrow?

656. The SATs, knucklehead.

657. - I'm not taking them.

658. - Just back!

659. Mom?

660. Yes, Mikey?

661. - I was looking through one of Scooby's SAT practice books

662. this afternoon and I took one of the practice tests.

663. Guess what score I got?

664. What?

665. - 550 verbal, 520 math, and I'm only in fifth grade.

666. Scooby?

667. - Yeah?

668. - We have to talk.

669. - What do you wanna talk about?

670. - Don't screw around with me,

671. you know what I'm talking about.

672. You're taking those SATs.

673. You're taking those SATs or your CD collection's history.

674. And you're going to college.

675. You're taking those SATs

676. if I have to strap your ass to a chair,

677. but buddy, you are taking 'em!

678. - Okay.

679. - Hm! I'm tired of this shit.

680. So were you surprised

681. that, uh, Scooby took the SATs after all?

682. Not really. He's kind of a wuss.

683. Okay, uh, how about you, Cheryl?

684. Were, uh, were you surprised?

685. - I don't know. Whatever.

686. - Hey, how come you drive such a shitty car?

687. Yeah.

688. I don't know.

689. Uh, that's interesting though.

690. A cool car, is that, is that something

691. that's real important to you, Brady?

692. - Yeah. - A cool car?

693. Yeah? - Duh.

694. Pretty cool, Stanley.

695. - Thanks.

696. - How'd you get it?

697. - It's, it's my dad's.

698. He hides it under some old "TV Guides" in his closet.

699. - Gee, your dad's smart.

700. - Yeah, I know.

701. - Is it loaded?

702. - No, I don't think so.

703. Scooby, don't! Be careful!

704. - I'm not an idiot, man. I watch TV.

705. - I- I know. I- I'm sorry.

706. I'm just a little nervous.

707. I don't know why.

708. You should be.

709. Here. You can keep it.

710. - Scooby?

711. - Yeah?

712. You know.

713. I- I like you.

714. - Yeah, I know.

715. I mean.

716. - I know. Everyone knows.

717. - Oh.

718. Um. Do you think?

719. Do you think that you'd let me, um.

720. - Okay.

721. If you feel like it.

722. Just gimme a sec.

723. You want some? - No, thanks.

724. - I'm so sorry!

725. I should never have made you take the SATs.

726. God, I'm burning to death!

727. Scooby, I'll never do it again!

728. - Hey, Scooby. - Made you take the SATs!

729. How's it going?

730. - Conan O'Brien? Whoa.

731. What are you doing here?

732. - I'm looking for a last-minute guest for my show.

733. Any suggestions?

734. - I'll be your guest.

735. - Really? Well, all right.

736. Let's take a look at the television and see how we look.

737. Cool.

738. Welcome to the show, Scooby.

739. - Thank you. - Nice, nice to have you here.

740. - Great to be here. - And thank you

741. for dressing up for us.

742. This is very classy.

743. Uh, tell us, what kind of professional plans do you have?

744. What's in your future?

745. - Well, I was thinking I might work for you.

746. - Uh, tell me, what do you,

747. what do you wanna do for me?

748. What's, what's your idea?

749. Be your sidekick.

750. You know, and, and maybe, eventually,

751. become a TV talk show host.

752. - TV talk show host? Okay.

753. You were at sidekick eight seconds ago,

754. then TV talk show host.

755. You'll be a Latin dictator in about a minute.

756. Let's see what they think of the first idea.

757. I'm curious what the audience thinks.

758. Folks, what do you think, should Scooby be my new sidekick?

759. Wow.

760. Scooby, new sidekick,

761. everybody. - Oh, man.

762. Yeah! Scooby!

763. Yeah?

764. - Hey. - Hey.

765. What's up?

766. There's something I need to talk about with you.

767. - What?

768. - There are some rumors.

769. - Like what?

770. - You know. Stanley.

771. - Huh.

772. - Like, don't take this the wrong way.

773. I'm, I mean, I'm cool,

774. but you know,

775. I've got a good reputation at school.

776. Well, I really don't want it ruined.

777. - No problem.

778. I'm cool.

779. - Thanks.

780. Go, go, go!

781. - Esposito, what the fuck do you think you're doing?

782. You're tackling like a bitch on my football team, son!

783. You better bend your ass over

784. and hit somebody, you understand me?

785. - Yes, sir!

786. - Do you understand me?

787. - Then do it!

788. Livingston! That's the way to hit that hole, son.

789. We're gonna become a football team today, guys!

790. Let's move the ball!

791. Move, move, move!

792. - Break! - I wanna see

793. you hit those holes.

794. Defense, fill those goddamn gaps!

795. Let's go, guys. Let's do it!

796. Yes, yes!

797. A little bit rowdy.

798. Set left, set left.

799. Red 17!

800. Red 17! Hut!

801. Hut! Hut!

802. Come on!

803. That's it, boys, that's it, boys!

804. Keep moving!

805. - When I'm in high school, I'm not gonna play any football.

806. I'm just gonna concentrate on class rank.

807. What did you do in high school?

808. - I did not go to high school.

809. - Weren't there high schools in El Salvador?

810. We had to work. My family was poor.

811. - It must have been hard being poor.

812. - I am still poor.

813. - Hmm, but Consuelo,

814. even though you're poor,

815. don't you have any hobbies or interests or anything?

816. - No, Mikey.

817. - But like, what do you like to do when you're not working?

818. - I am always working.

819. - But when you're not, like now, what do you like to do?

820. - This is work.

821. - But it's not like real work.

822. This is just babysitting.

823. You know, your job's really not so bad,

824. if you think about it.

825. You should smile more.

826. When the sky is clear and the sun is warm,

827. you're reminded of how beautiful things can be.

828. A lamppost, a sign,

829. a straw wrapper blowing in the wind.

830. But when that dark cloud appears, you realize

831. how fragile the balance of life is.

832. - When Brady first arrived at the hospital,

833. he was unresponsive to verbal stimuli.

834. Uh, we performed a CT scan which demonstrated

835. a large subdural hematoma with mass effect.

836. Uh, since the removal of the subdural, he's been in a coma.

837. - When I first met the Livingstons

838. it was in the first 24 hours of Brady coming in

839. after his tragic football accident,

840. and they were acting in a fairly typical way.

841. - We're not the ones that need the help.

842. My son needs help.

843. My son's in there. - And you wanna know

844. what to do to help him. - He can't even feed himself.

845. He can't, I don't even know

846. if he's gonna be a vegetable or not, for Christ's sake!

847. But what about Scooby?

848. How would this affect him?

849. What meaning is to be found in this?

850. - This is definitely better.

851. - You think so?

852. You don't think that this might not be a little dry?

853. - This is not an entertainment you're making.

854. Toby, this story about a kid in the suburbs

855. and the state of the college admission process,

856. has, with this Brady crisis,

857. evolved into something much richer and more provocative.

858. - Yes, I know.

859. But it still, it should be somewhat entertaining.

860. - I mean, without this footage,

861. without this rigorous documentation,

862. it would feel like exploitation.

863. - No, no, no, no.

864. No, no exploitation, this is serious.

865. But I mean, don't you find it a little funny, too,

866. at the same time?

867. - You've got a family tragedy on your hands.

868. Will you tell me what's funny about that?

869. About a kid in a coma?

870. - Nothing, I guess. - I mean,

871. why are you making this documentary

872. if you can't treat your subject with appropriate gravity?

873. - Okay, you're right, you're right. You're right.

874. You know, we need to screen what we've got.

875. Invite some regular people,

876. just some random off-the-street types

877. and, and, and see what real people think of this.

878. - I don't know, Toby.

879. We really have a long way to go.

880. You still need to get a lot more footage

881. and it's probably a little premature to start-

882. - Okay, then we can invite serious intellectual types.

883. - We're not ready. - Hip alternative types

884. who'll understand the process. - Toby, we're not ready!

885. We are not ready! - Well, I need to see this

886. with an audience.

887. - What's an audience gonna tell you?

888. - I don't know.

889. Maybe they'll like it.

890. - Consuelo! I spilled some grape juice on the floor.

891. Consuelo?

892. Consuelo?

893. Consuelo. Are you crying?

894. - No.

895. - Yes, you are. I can tell.

896. What's the matter?

897. - Speak English.

898. - Consuelo, I'm sorry, but you know

899. if you don't speak English I can't understand you.

900. My Jesus.

901. - Who is Jesus?

902. My baby.

903. - You have a baby?

904. - My grandchild baby.

905. - Gee, I didn't even know you had any children.

906. But why are you so upset about Jesus?

907. - He is dead.

908. - Oh. How did that happen?

909. He was executed.

910. He was on death row

911. and then he was executed.

912. - How did they execute him?

913. - Poison gas.

914. - Maybe it's for the best.

915. I mean, if he was guilty of doing something wrong.

916. People who are bad should be killed.

917. Don't you think so?

918. - Jesus was not bad.

919. - Maybe he was and you just didn't know it.

920. - He wasn't.

921. - But still, you can't be sure.

922. - I am sure.

923. - But really, you never know.

924. - I know!

925. - Why was he on death row?

926. - For rape and murder.

927. - Consuelo, what is rape, exactly?

928. - It is when you love someone

929. and they don't love you,

930. and you do something about it.

931. - Sometimes I feel like my parents don't love me.

932. - Well, then, when you get older,

933. you can do something about it.

934. - Consuelo? I spilled some grape juice upstairs.

935. Do you think you could clean up the floor now?

936. - Dad?

937. Do you think that Brady will ever get better?

938. - One-in-a-million recover.

939. - Maybe he's that one-in-a-million.

940. - Mikey, there's optimism

941. and then there's stupidity.

942. It's a very fine line.

943. - I don't think there's any hope either.

944. I was just trying to make you feel better.

945. - Thanks.

946. - You're welcome.

947. Dad?

948. Would you let me try hypnotizing you now?

949. - Yeah, sure. Go ahead, hypnotize me.

950. - Okay, stay there. I'll be right back.

951. Just a sec! Be right there.

952. Could you turn around to me?

953. Just turn. Thanks.

954. All right, you must look at this shiny object

955. and concentrate.

956. Relax your legs.

957. Relax your arms.

958. Relax your shoulders.

959. Now keep your eyes on the shiny object.

960. Your eyelids are getting heavy.

961. Heavier.

962. You're getting sleepy.

963. Sleepier.

964. Now let your eyes close shut.

965. And you are sound asleep.

966. Now you are completely under my power.

967. I am the only voice you can hear,

968. the only voice you will listen to.

969. And now, when you wake up,

970. you will be in a good mood.

971. You won't worry so much about Brady

972. and I will be your favorite from now on.

973. If Brady dies, you can be sad for a little bit,

974. but I will still be the most important person in your life.

975. You will never be mean to me

976. and always give me whatever I want.

977. Also, you should fire Consuelo.

978. She's lazy.

979. Now, when I snap my fingers,

980. you will remember nothing,

981. but you will do everything I have asked.

982. One, two,

983. three.

984. - Hey, Mikey, you wanna get some ice cream?

985. - Okay!

986. It's like, yeah, I- I caved in.

987. I mean, I had to.

988. My parents, they're like still really depressed about Brady.

989. So I wrote the bullshit essay,

990. filled out the applications, did the interviews.

991. You know, I figure I can always drop out.

992. So where'd you get in?

993. - Princeton.

994. But wh- what did you get on your SATs?

995. - Uh, 200 verbal, 710 math.

996. Kinda weird, I know,

997. but I think they thought it was, like,

998. good weird.

999. - We used pull.

1000. - You know, you have to.

1001. Sometimes you just have to, Toby.

1002. What kind of pull did you have?

1003. - I have a cousin.

1004. A very big giver to the alumni fund.

1005. - It's all about who you know.

1006. - Look, we're not suckers.

1007. Everyone else is out there doing the same thing.

1008. - He's right.

1009. - Damn, Toby. - It's too hard.

1010. - This thing won't open again. - Don't.

1011. Let me try it. Let me try it.

1012. It's, um, yes, the button is just stuck.

1013. - Hey, hey, Toby? - Hey, man.

1014. - I was wondering.

1015. Is the documentary almost finished?

1016. - Uh, yeah, we're getting there.

1017. - Can I see what you have so far?

1018. - Sure, uh, yeah, as soon as I have a screening,

1019. I'll let you know.

1020. - Thanks, man. - Okay, man.

1021. - Okay.

1022. - Gin, I win.

1023. Let's play again.

1024. Hey, Mikey!

1025. - Hey, Dad. - Come here and gimme a hug.

1026. Come here!

1027. - Gee, you're home early.

1028. - Yeah.

1029. Uh, listen, why don't you go upstairs

1030. and keep your mom and Brady company for a bit?

1031. I need to speak alone with Consuelo for a moment.

1032. - Sure, Dad. - Take off.

1033. Consuelo.

1034. Um, Mrs. Livingston and I have,

1035. uh, discussed this

1036. and we've come to the conclusion

1037. that we are not very happy with your work lately,

1038. so we're going to let you go.

1039. - I- I don't understand.

1040. - We've been happy with you in the past,

1041. but now we think maybe it's time for a change.

1042. Uh, I know you've had trouble at home.

1043. And, and, and maybe, you know,

1044. some of that is reflecting on your work.

1045. But, Mr. Livingston, I work very hard for you

1046. and your family. - I understand.

1047. I understand that.

1048. And, and, and I'm sorry.

1049. I'm sorry it had to end this way.

1050. - Florsheim, can I help you?

1051. Hi, I'm trying to reach Toby Oxman.

1052. - Sorry, he's off today.

1053. - Okay.

1054. Um. Thanks.

1055. Hey, Mike, uh, is Toby here?

1056. - Uh, no, he's not.

1057. Oh. Uh, do you have any idea where he might be?

1058. - Uh, I think he's at a test screening.

1059. - I think Scooby's like a lot of kids.

1060. He just hit a, a speed bump.

1061. Now he's gonna find his way,

1062. uh, his path's gonna be clear,

1063. and I think he's gonna continue his education

1064. at a good college.

1065. And uh, everybody else is gonna be happy.

1066. Yeah, um, Mr. Livingston,

1067. aren't you a bit fearful that Scooby

1068. will be confronted with hollow values

1069. and systemic conformism?

1070. I don't know why this is so hard

1071. for you to comprehend.

1072. I had a terrific time in college.

1073. I've got a terrific job, a comfortable salary,

1074. terrific wife, three terrific kids,

1075. and every year I give to the alumni fund.

1076. Now, why are you trying to make college out

1077. to be a bad thing?

1078. A negative experience? You had a bad time?

1079. Well, too bad! Get over it!

1080. Stop trying to impose your misery on others

1081. by going around saying, "Life is bad,

1082. life is horrible."

1083. Life is tough on you? Well, boo-hoo!

1084. - Well, yeah. My dad is kind of a goofball.

1085. You just have to pretend to go along with his ideas,

1086. 'cause he really doesn't get it.

1087. Like, I could be the next Oprah

1088. for all he knows,

1089. but he's never even seen the show.

1090. What is most important to you?

1091. I don't know.

1092. I'd, I'd like to be good at, at something.

1093. You know, it doesn't have to be TV.

1094. I mean, it could be movies. Anything.

1095. I- I'd be willing to direct.

1096. But I'd like to be,

1097. you know, famous.

1098. Not necessarily a superstar.

1099. Just famous.

1100. Be recognized.

1101. Get fan mail and things.

1102. Uh, Scooby, now I understand

1103. how you wanna be like a TV talk show host and all,

1104. like Conan O'Brien, but did you know

1105. that even he went to college?

1106. - He did? - Yeah.

1107. Uh, he went to Harvard.

1108. Oh.

1109. One police officer, eight others were wounded,

1110. before he tried to kill- - Mom?

1111. Dad? - Identified as Bruce Evan.

1112. Can I sleep with you?

1113. I- I- I'm scared.

1114. - Sure, buddy. Come on.

1115. - Come in bed with us. Come on.

1116. Snug as a bug in a rug.

1117. Yeah, there you go, pally, all right.

1118. You're monster-proofed. - Hm.

1119. Stand by.

1120. - Scooby.

1121. Oh my God, Scooby.

1122. I'm so sorry.

1123. I'm so, so sorry.

1124. - Don't be.

1125. The movie's a hit.