1. Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco
presents...Copy !req
2. Stingray Sam is not a heroCopy !req
3. But he does do the things
That folks don't doCopy !req
4. That need to be doneCopy !req
5. He's got a bravery insideCopy !req
6. That won't let him run away
Will not let him runCopy !req
7. This is the planet Mars.Copy !req
8. It was once known as the resort and
entertainment capital of the universe.Copy !req
9. Over the years the appeal of Mars
has worn thin.Copy !req
10. The ideas that its entertainment
industries were once based onCopy !req
11. are no longer valued
among smart, young couplesCopy !req
12. Iooking for a good time.Copy !req
13. No, Mars has seen its day.Copy !req
14. Now it has become a homeCopy !req
15. for forgotten people
with shattered dreamsCopy !req
16. Iooking for that break
that just isn't there anymore.Copy !req
17. These are today's visitors.Copy !req
18. Then there are those
who occupy this planet.Copy !req
19. The ones who capitalize on these,
the misfortunate.Copy !req
20. But don't judge them too harshly.Copy !req
21. They came to MarsCopy !req
22. for the same reason
as everyone else,Copy !req
23. only now they have
nowhere else to go.Copy !req
24. Welcome to MarsCopy !req
25. Welcome to life among the starsCopy !req
26. Welcome to hotels
And restaurants and barsCopy !req
27. Where you'll never be homesick
AnymoreCopy !req
28. You'll live in space
Where you'll develop certain tastesCopy !req
29. And certain views
On things you've never facedCopy !req
30. Where you'll never be homesick
AnymoreCopy !req
31. You're in the dome
You're in the perfect homeCopy !req
32. Where sweet dreams
Mean everythingCopy !req
33. And memories can't hurt youCopy !req
34. Here's where you'll stayCopy !req
35. Where everything you ever knew
Is turned into something new to youCopy !req
36. Where you'll never be homesick
AnymoreCopy !req
37. All right.Copy !req
38. Thank you very much,
and thanks for coming out tonight.Copy !req
39. And now, it gives me a great deal
of pleasure to introduce to youCopy !req
40. our dancers for this evening.Copy !req
41. This is Heaven and Star
from Liberty Chew Chewing tobacco.Copy !req
42. "Liberate yourself
with Liberty Chew tobaccoCopy !req
43. and join
the tobacco-chewing liberation."Copy !req
44. These ladies will be handing out
free samples of tobacco later on.Copy !req
45. So, stick around,
make yourselves at home,Copy !req
46. there's a lot more entertainment
to come,Copy !req
47. and if you have any problems,Copy !req
48. just let me or the bartender know,
and we'll see what we can do about it.Copy !req
49. Thank you very much.
You need this?Copy !req
50. How we doing, Barnaby?Copy !req
51. I'm not too sure, Stingray.Copy !req
52. I think we might have
a little problem.Copy !req
53. Where at?Copy !req
54. That big fella sitting
at the end of the bar.Copy !req
55. He's been acting kinda weird.Copy !req
56. Oh, my.Copy !req
57. That's what I'm talking about.Copy !req
58. I think you're gonna
have to ask him to leave.Copy !req
59. Hand me my asking-stick.Copy !req
60. Whoa.Copy !req
61. You got olive juice
on my asking-stick.Copy !req
62. Well, what do you think
we ought to do about this?Copy !req
63. I think you should leave.Copy !req
64. - Not without you, Stingray Sam!
- Quasar Kid!Copy !req
65. Barnaby, this here's The Quasar Kid.
Get him some olives!Copy !req
66. Well, what brings you
to these parts, Kid?Copy !req
67. Well, when I learned
you became a lounge singer,Copy !req
68. I said, "Well, okay, then."Copy !req
69. Well, all right, then.
What do you say?Copy !req
70. - I say, okay.
- Well, all right.Copy !req
71. Well, all right, Kid.
It's good to see your face.Copy !req
72. It's good to see you, Stingray.Copy !req
73. Well, Kid, I know you really didn't
come all this way for the olives.Copy !req
74. What are you really doing here?Copy !req
75. Well, some folks
caught up with me recentlyCopy !req
76. and asked me if I wouldn't mind
paying off my debt to society.Copy !req
77. As you might remember,Copy !req
78. we hadn't finished doing that
at the time we left the prison.Copy !req
79. What are you saying?Copy !req
80. I'm saying there's
a little girl out there somewhereCopy !req
81. in a whole lot of trouble.Copy !req
82. And if you and I can help her,
we won't be wanted men.Copy !req
83. You won't have to hide out here
in this dump anymore.Copy !req
84. This is not a dump, Kid.Copy !req
85. This is a nightclub,
and I am its lounge singer.Copy !req
86. That may not mean a lot to you,Copy !req
87. but it means a lot to me
and a lot of peopleCopy !req
88. who come here to see
a lounge singer, and that's me.Copy !req
89. I'm saying there's
a little girl in trouble.Copy !req
90. Besides from earning our freedom,
it might be the only chanceCopy !req
91. you and I will ever get
to do something that's right.Copy !req
92. And aren't you the one
who said you always hopedCopy !req
93. to help somebody someday?Copy !req
94. - Hell, no.
- Ah, come on Stingray.Copy !req
95. Just do it for me, then.Copy !req
96. I'm happy here, Kid,
and besides you,Copy !req
97. there's nobody else out there
looking for me.Copy !req
98. Well, if you won't do it for me,
will you do it for her?Copy !req
99. Stingray Sam
came from the planet Durango.Copy !req
100. The economy of Durango
was basedCopy !req
101. on the manufacturing
of rocket ships.Copy !req
102. To meet the rising
costs of manufacturingCopy !req
103. the planet's leaders shut down
production and moved the industryCopy !req
104. to the far away planet of Mayberry,Copy !req
105. where the population
was much more in need,Copy !req
106. and therefore labor
much less expensive.Copy !req
107. This created a desperate situation
for the citizens of Durango,Copy !req
108. which resulted in a crime wave
that dominated the entire planet.Copy !req
109. This problem was not acknowledged
by the lnter-Galactic CommunityCopy !req
110. until the population of DurangoCopy !req
111. began drifting
toward the wealthier planets.Copy !req
112. Sorry to interrupt the party.Copy !req
113. I'm Stingray Sam,
this here's The Quasar Kid,Copy !req
114. and we just got here from Durango.Copy !req
115. To restore peace
throughout the galaxyCopy !req
116. the United Planets OrganizationCopy !req
117. created a new economic system
for the planet of Durango.Copy !req
118. The former rocket-ship factories were
now to be used as penitentiaries.Copy !req
119. One quarter of Durango's population
was given jobs as prison guards,Copy !req
120. while the other three quarters
were incarcerated.Copy !req
121. The cost of Durango prison labor
would be minimal.Copy !req
122. With the rocket ship machinery
still in placeCopy !req
123. and with a prison population
of skilled factory workers,Copy !req
124. it was the natural choice
for the leaders of DurangoCopy !req
125. to remove
all manufacturing contractsCopy !req
126. from the now wealthy
planet of MayberryCopy !req
127. and reintroduce
the rocket-ship industryCopy !req
128. to the prison population
of Durango.Copy !req
129. Unfortunately, Mayberry held
its own in the rocket industry,Copy !req
130. and Durango soon went bankrupt.Copy !req
131. The penitentiaries
were shut down,Copy !req
132. and all of the convicts
were released under the conditionCopy !req
133. that they would be called upon
at any given momentCopy !req
134. to resume paying their debt
to society.Copy !req
135. - What happened?
- We got arrested.Copy !req
136. By who?Copy !req
137. Well, technically
it was me that arrested you,Copy !req
138. but I got arrested first, and I always
kind of thought of us as a team.Copy !req
139. Are you the one who hit me, Kid?Copy !req
140. Yeah.Copy !req
141. What the...?
Did you put this thing on me?Copy !req
142. I had to.Copy !req
143. They said if I didn't put one on you,
then mine would explode.Copy !req
144. - That's just part of the deal.
- I guess I don't blame you, then.Copy !req
145. What do we gotta do to get 'em off?Copy !req
146. It's just one job.
We got to rescue a little girl.Copy !req
147. Once we do that, these things
will fall right off, and we're done.Copy !req
148. - That's it, huh?
- Yeah, well, we got off easy.Copy !req
149. They got everybody else
picking up garbage.Copy !req
150. I've seen that.Copy !req
151. That kind of work never ends.Copy !req
152. Yeah, well,
when we're done with this jobCopy !req
153. our debt to society
will be paid in full.Copy !req
154. You and I will be free men
for the rest of our lives.Copy !req
155. You couldn't have just told me that
back at the bar? You had to hit me?Copy !req
156. I missed you, Stingray.Copy !req
157. And so this was the beginning
of Stingray SamCopy !req
158. and The Quasar Kid's
final adventure.Copy !req
159. But what dangers will they face
on the road to becoming free men?Copy !req
160. Find out
on our next episode of...Copy !req
161. Stingray Sam!Copy !req
162. Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco
presents...Copy !req
163. Stingray Sam is not a heroCopy !req
164. But he does do the things
That folks don't doCopy !req
165. That need to be doneCopy !req
166. He's got a bravery insideCopy !req
167. That won't let him run away
Will not let him runCopy !req
168. Children.
So young and irresponsible.Copy !req
169. How quickly they mature
and turn into incompetent adults.Copy !req
170. Incompetent in management
and administrative duties.Copy !req
171. It was this form of incompetenceCopy !req
172. that sent Stingray Sam
and The Quasar KidCopy !req
173. on a mission
without any information.Copy !req
174. The only detail they were to receive
was to be administeredCopy !req
175. at the lnter-galactic
Hall Of Records And Trivia.Copy !req
176. It is here where we now find our boys
perched in a state of readiness.Copy !req
177. 34.Copy !req
178. 34.Copy !req
179. 34.Copy !req
180. 36.Copy !req
181. 36.Copy !req
182. 36.Copy !req
183. No 36.Copy !req
184. 35.Copy !req
185. Here you go, Ma'am.Copy !req
186. I'm Stingray Sam,
this here's The Quasar Kid,Copy !req
187. and we're from Durango.Copy !req
188. - You don't say.
- Yes, Ma'am.Copy !req
189. We're on an assignment,Copy !req
190. and we don't know
what we're supposed to be doing.Copy !req
191. - What's your assignment?
- We're supposed to rescue a girl.Copy !req
192. - Who's the girl?
- We don't know.Copy !req
193. We're from the work program.Copy !req
194. Give me your wrists.Copy !req
195. Just one box?Copy !req
196. That's all I have for you.Copy !req
197. Could you tell me
where I could find...?Copy !req
198. 38.Copy !req
199. If I leave this bag here, do you
think somebody else could use it?Copy !req
200. Yes. And they'll be so happy,
and I'll tell them it came from you.Copy !req
201. 38.Copy !req
202. No, I don't think it was stupid.Copy !req
203. You had a plastic bag,
and you didn't need it.Copy !req
204. You thought somebody else
could use it.Copy !req
205. Well, either way, you know what
that lady did when she just said that?Copy !req
206. What?Copy !req
207. She made our day.
That's what she did.Copy !req
208. I think that lady is a genius.Copy !req
209. Just that one thing she said
made our whole day worthwhile.Copy !req
210. Well, I'm glad something did.Copy !req
211. It takes 20 of these darn
little boxes to figure out anything,Copy !req
212. and I don't think
it's gonna tell us much.Copy !req
213. Well, let's have a look-see.Copy !req
214. To a father in a middle-class home,Copy !req
215. no one is more important
than "Daddy's little girl."Copy !req
216. Unfortunately, the extremely wealthy
and the extremely poor fathersCopy !req
217. cannot share in this sentiment.Copy !req
218. A female child born to a poor family
may find herselfCopy !req
219. in compromising situations
in the name of survival.Copy !req
220. The father of a dynasty would need
a son to carry on the family name.Copy !req
221. It was long believed that a child's
gender was determined by its mother.Copy !req
222. King Henry VIII believed it.Copy !req
223. He executed several of his wivesCopy !req
224. because they were unable
to bear him a son.Copy !req
225. If Henry only knew
what we know todayCopy !req
226. perhaps he would have
cut of his own head.Copy !req
227. Still, gender-decisive pills
were created for the woman to takeCopy !req
228. until five generations agoCopy !req
229. when a pill was invented
to give the father the choice.Copy !req
230. The wealthy and poor alike
began having sons exclusively.Copy !req
231. As a result, the poor
and the wealthy classesCopy !req
232. found themselves
on the brink of extinctionCopy !req
233. until cloning was introduced
to the upper classCopy !req
234. as a mandatory measure
to generate the next generation.Copy !req
235. But health risks linked to cloning
drained the economyCopy !req
236. through increased
medical expenses.Copy !req
237. In its last attempt for survival,Copy !req
238. strange new theories
were openly developed,Copy !req
239. but time was running out,Copy !req
240. and things were looking bleak
for the upper classCopy !req
241. until two scientistsCopy !req
242. known only as Edward and FrederickCopy !req
243. developed a radical new procedure.Copy !req
244. They had successfullyCopy !req
245. blended their DNACopy !req
246. and then placed the living embryoCopy !req
247. into the body of the scientistCopy !req
248. know only as Frederick.Copy !req
249. Funding was immediately pulledCopy !req
250. from all research programsCopy !req
251. and awarded
to Edward and Frederick.Copy !req
252. When the child was born,Copy !req
253. he was given the name Fredward.Copy !req
254. The entire upper-class population
was impregnatedCopy !req
255. with double male genetic combos,
and thus a new generation was born!Copy !req
256. Frederick and Edward
Had a baby named FredwardCopy !req
257. Frederick and Edward
Loved their gentle sonCopy !req
258. Frederick was the world's
Only pregnant manCopy !req
259. Edward might not have been the oneCopy !req
260. Frederick and Edward
Had a son named FredwardCopy !req
261. Max and Clark
Had a son named MarkCopy !req
262. Aldo and Rex
Had a son named AlexCopy !req
263. Bob and RingoCopy !req
264. Had a son named BingoCopy !req
265. Zack and DekeCopy !req
266. Had a son named ZekeCopy !req
267. Bill and JeffCopy !req
268. Had a son named BiffCopy !req
269. John and MasonCopy !req
270. Had a son named JasonCopy !req
271. Karl and BurtCopy !req
272. Had a son named KurtCopy !req
273. Reed and JohnnyCopy !req
274. Had a son named RonnyCopy !req
275. Chris and AlCopy !req
276. Had a son named CalCopy !req
277. Clark and BiffCopy !req
278. Had a son named CliffCopy !req
279. Walter and BillCopy !req
280. Had a son named WillCopy !req
281. Bill and KurtCopy !req
282. Had a son named BurtCopy !req
283. Burt and RobbyCopy !req
284. Had a son named BobbyCopy !req
285. Fred and BillCopy !req
286. Had a son named PhilCopy !req
287. Jack and RonnyCopy !req
288. Had a son named JohnnyCopy !req
289. Rich and AndyCopy !req
290. Had a son named RandyCopy !req
291. Mick and JackCopy !req
292. Had a son named MacCopy !req
293. Hugh and GordonCopy !req
294. Had a son named HugoCopy !req
295. Matt and RickCopy !req
296. Had a son named MickCopy !req
297. Mel and AlvinCopy !req
298. Had a son named MelvinCopy !req
299. Jack and BoCopy !req
300. Had a son named JoeCopy !req
301. Clark and JasperCopy !req
302. Had a son named CasperCopy !req
303. Sam and RandyCopy !req
304. Had a son named SandyCopy !req
305. George and HaroldCopy !req
306. Had a son named GeraldCopy !req
307. Biff and ChuckCopy !req
308. Had a son named BuckCopy !req
309. Nate and RickCopy !req
310. Had a son named NickCopy !req
311. Nick and TedCopy !req
312. Had a son named NedCopy !req
313. Clark and RayCopy !req
314. Had a son named ClayCopy !req
315. Bo and LarryCopy !req
316. Had a son named BarryCopy !req
317. Ray and PacoCopy !req
318. Had a son named RoccoCopy !req
319. Ben and LeeCopy !req
320. Had a son named BentleyCopy !req
321. Rocco and DustyCopy !req
322. Had a son named RustyCopy !req
323. Rusty and AlfCopy !req
324. Had a son named RalphCopy !req
325. Tom and EdCopy !req
326. Had a son named TedCopy !req
327. John and TedCopy !req
328. Had a son named JedCopy !req
329. Ron and CoryCopy !req
330. Had a son named RoryCopy !req
331. Rory and TexCopy !req
332. Had a son named RexCopy !req
333. Burt and Morris
Had a son named BorisCopy !req
334. And this baby, his daddy's gone
And this baby, his daddy's goneCopy !req
335. And this baby, his daddy's gone
And this baby, his daddy's goneCopy !req
336. And so the plot begins to thicken,
but not by much.Copy !req
337. A girl is in need of rescue,Copy !req
338. and the genetically designed
figurehead of a very wealthy planetCopy !req
339. is somehow involved.Copy !req
340. But how? Who?Copy !req
341. What? When?Copy !req
342. Where?Copy !req
343. And why?Copy !req
344. Find out the answers
to these questions and moreCopy !req
345. on our next episode of...Copy !req
346. Stingray Sam!Copy !req
347. Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco
presents...Copy !req
348. Stingray Sam is not a heroCopy !req
349. But he does do the things
That folks don't doCopy !req
350. That need to be doneCopy !req
351. He's got a bravery insideCopy !req
352. That won't let him run away
Will not let him runCopy !req
353. In a distant solar system, located
among a certain class of planets,Copy !req
354. were the planets of social classes,Copy !req
355. and among them
was a planet of a certain class.Copy !req
356. A planet that had changed its name
to Fredward.Copy !req
357. It is here where Stingray Sam
and The Quasar KidCopy !req
358. initiate their pursuit of a man
who bears that same name.Copy !req
359. Their search begins...Copy !req
360. at the Pregnant Man's
Science and Trivia lnstitute,Copy !req
361. where an important meetingCopy !req
362. of The Pregnant Man's lnstitute
of Science and TriviaCopy !req
363. is about to take place.Copy !req
364. They took my clipboard!
They took my clipboard!Copy !req
365. The one I use!
Somebody stop them!Copy !req
366. The triumphant efforts
of this new brand of researchCopy !req
367. could not have been possible
without this generous grantCopy !req
368. from the Liberty Chew
Chewing Tobacco Corporation.Copy !req
369. "Liberate yourself
with Liberty Chew Chewing tobaccoCopy !req
370. and join
the tobacco-chewing liberation."Copy !req
371. Before we recess this afternoon,
Dr. Adison and lCopy !req
372. will be handing out
free samples of Liberty Chew.Copy !req
373. And now,
let's have a look at the chart.Copy !req
374. I'm The Quasar Kid,
and this here's Stingray Sam!Copy !req
375. You boys are in
for a world of troubleCopy !req
376. if you don't give us
what we came here to get!Copy !req
377. "Stingray" Sam? Are you
from the Oceanology Department?Copy !req
378. Yes, I am.Copy !req
379. Well, this is a surprise.Copy !req
380. Ever since the oceans have died,
I can't imagineCopy !req
381. where you could have found
any funding without a gunman.Copy !req
382. Unless, of course, you found a way
to bring the oceans back to life,Copy !req
383. which I honestly doubt.Copy !req
384. How are you planning to do it,
young man?Copy !req
385. Excuse me?Copy !req
386. Well, I mean, how are you planning
to bring the oceans back to life?Copy !req
387. One fish at a time, I guess.Copy !req
388. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
389. Sam here's come halfway
across two galaxiesCopy !req
390. with a Stingray baby
growing inside his very own belly!Copy !req
391. - A Stingray?
- Stingray?Copy !req
392. Stingray...Copy !req
393. Stingray, Stingray, StingrayCopy !req
394. Stingray, Stingray, StingrayCopy !req
395. Well, I went to the doctorCopy !req
396. And he gave me a sonogramCopy !req
397. Not the kind of thing
That you do to a manCopy !req
398. I said, "Doctor,
What does that picture say?"Copy !req
399. He said, "Boy,
You're gonna have a Stingray"Copy !req
400. Stingray, Stingray, StingrayCopy !req
401. Stingray, Stingray, StingrayCopy !req
402. - Is it gonna be a boy?
- No, it's gonna be a StingrayCopy !req
403. - Will it be a girl?
- No, it's gonna be a StingrayCopy !req
404. Will it be the Prince of Thieves
Or Queen of The World?Copy !req
405. Will it be a son
Or will it be a daughter?Copy !req
406. Will it be a Stingray
Swimming in the water?Copy !req
407. Stingray, Stingray, StingrayCopy !req
408. Stingray, Stingray, StingrayCopy !req
409. My friend here
ain't feeling quite right.Copy !req
410. Maybe it's because he's got
a baby Stingray in his stomach.Copy !req
411. Yeah, that's probably what it is.Copy !req
412. Anyway, I need
to go sit down for a while,Copy !req
413. and I was wondering where
you keep all your files and recordsCopy !req
414. and stuff like that.Copy !req
415. We thought we'd go take a look-see.Copy !req
416. Through the door
at the end of the hall.Copy !req
417. And what exactly is a "look-see"?Copy !req
418. Don't you worry about it.Copy !req
419. This don't look so good.Copy !req
420. Yeah, we got a lot of looking to do.Copy !req
421. Well, if there's only one girl,Copy !req
422. then maybe we should look
in the girl section,Copy !req
423. and we'll find her.Copy !req
424. You're right.
It's the only pink one.Copy !req
425. Well, let's give her a try.Copy !req
426. The upper class
had become the only class.Copy !req
427. To make it possible
for society to function,Copy !req
428. it became an unwritten lawCopy !req
429. that physical labor
would not be looked down upon,Copy !req
430. as long as you were famous at it.Copy !req
431. Jerry was a famous carpenter,Copy !req
432. but fame was of no interest
to Famous Jerry.Copy !req
433. He was a loner, a rebel.Copy !req
434. So unlike the norm
was Famous Jerry the CarpenterCopy !req
435. that he protested his obligation
to reproduce a male childCopy !req
436. by secretly taking
gender-decisive drugs.Copy !req
437. Jerry privately gave birth
to a female child.Copy !req
438. Her gender was assumed maleCopy !req
439. and therefore never reported
to the authorities.Copy !req
440. Fredward had always been
a stranger to effort.Copy !req
441. He had achieved his wealth and fame
through the act of being born.Copy !req
442. His every need
had forever been fulfilled,Copy !req
443. and though he grew up in seclusion,
he was never alone.Copy !req
444. He had always been surrounded
by a group of wealthy young followersCopy !req
445. who valued his every word.Copy !req
446. His ideas were never questioned.Copy !req
447. As a result, Fredward was convincedCopy !req
448. that his thoughts were the product
of divine inspiration.Copy !req
449. Though he had never developed
any skills and had no talents,Copy !req
450. he declared himself an artist,Copy !req
451. and to the amazement
of his followers,Copy !req
452. Fredward began
what was to be his masterpiece.Copy !req
453. He was going to redesign
his own living quarters,Copy !req
454. and the only man famous enough
to make this dream come trueCopy !req
455. was Famous Jerry the Carpenter.Copy !req
456. Famous Jerry was sequestered
within the compound.Copy !req
457. He was forced to listen
to Fredward's high-art concepts.Copy !req
458. None of Fredward's ideas
were based in reality.Copy !req
459. They could never be achieved.Copy !req
460. After one week,
Famous Jerry quit the job.Copy !req
461. Fredward was devastated.Copy !req
462. Jerry was to be arrested
and sentenced to death.Copy !req
463. Before Jerry had a chance to retrieve
his daughter and flee the planet,Copy !req
464. their home was broken into
and searched.Copy !req
465. The girl was discovered and taken
directly to the Fredward Compound.Copy !req
466. Famous Jerry fled the planet alone.Copy !req
467. Jerry reported the kidnappingCopy !req
468. to leaders
of the lnter-Galactic Community.Copy !req
469. Arrangements
for her rescue were made.Copy !req
470. - Are you leaving us so soon?
- Yeah. We gotta get going.Copy !req
471. - Where will you be going?
- To find Fredward.Copy !req
472. Oh, no more cheese and tobacco
for these boys.Copy !req
473. They're off to see Fredward.Copy !req
474. You'll never see Fredward,
young man.Copy !req
475. He's far too important.Copy !req
476. Thank you for your hospitality.Copy !req
477. Oh, and by the way,Copy !req
478. you said you had traveled
halfway across two galaxies?Copy !req
479. There's only one galaxy.Copy !req
480. Yeah, that sounds about right.Copy !req
481. With an understanding
of their missionCopy !req
482. and a sense of purpose
behind their every step,Copy !req
483. Stingray Sam and The Quasar Kid
set forth to the Fredward Compound.Copy !req
484. But what dangers await?Copy !req
485. Find out on our next episode of...Copy !req
486. Stingray Sam!Copy !req
487. Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco
presents...Copy !req
488. Stingray Sam is not a heroCopy !req
489. But he does do the things
That folks don't doCopy !req
490. That need to be doneCopy !req
491. He's got a bravery insideCopy !req
492. That won't let him run away
Will not let him runCopy !req
493. Our story begins where it left off.Copy !req
494. Here, among
that certain class of planetsCopy !req
495. where we find Stingray Sam
and The Quasar KidCopy !req
496. in pursuit of a man named Fredward.Copy !req
497. Like every icon
of every great economic power,Copy !req
498. Fredward was well protected.Copy !req
499. He lived in a grand fortress
above the lawCopy !req
500. where no man dare enter
without an invitation.Copy !req
501. It was because of thisCopy !req
502. that no security system
was maintained,Copy !req
503. making it possible
for Stingray Sam and The Quasar KidCopy !req
504. to gain entrance.Copy !req
505. Hey!Copy !req
506. You're not supposed
to be back here.Copy !req
507. No one is supposed to see me
before the performance.Copy !req
508. What performance?Copy !req
509. You're here for the party,
aren't you?Copy !req
510. What party?Copy !req
511. Yeah, we're here for the party.Copy !req
512. Do you remember
what happened back on DurangoCopy !req
513. just before the prisons
went bankrupt and they let us all go?Copy !req
514. - You mean the Mascot program?
- Yeah.Copy !req
515. Yeah.Copy !req
516. I was in a solitary-confinement suitCopy !req
517. that looked
like the Liberty Chew Grasshopper.Copy !req
518. I couldn't move my arms.Copy !req
519. Yeah. Well, when you were gone,
they gave me a new cellmate.Copy !req
520. His name was Cubby.Copy !req
521. Excuse me
I'm new here in this prisonCopy !req
522. I think that I was sitting there
See, there's my piece of cornbreadCopy !req
523. It was said that Cubby
was not right for prison,Copy !req
524. or perhaps prison
just wasn't right for Cubby.Copy !req
525. Either way, his timing
could not have been more perfectCopy !req
526. for the Durango prison facilitiesCopy !req
527. were on the brink
of financial disaster.Copy !req
528. It was during these,
the darkest of hours,Copy !req
529. when an advertising firm approached
the planet's CEO with a proposal.Copy !req
530. It was to be known as "The Corporate
Mascot Rehabilitation Program."Copy !req
531. In this program, prisoners were
rented out as corporate mascots.Copy !req
532. Mascot costumes
were designed and manufacturedCopy !req
533. within the prison facility.Copy !req
534. The exteriors of these costumes
were designed to attract and amuseCopy !req
535. happy conventioneers
and their familiesCopy !req
536. while reminding themCopy !req
537. of the corporations
they were representing.Copy !req
538. The interiors of the costumes
were designed to restrain the inmatesCopy !req
539. in order to keep them
from committing crimesCopy !req
540. or from endangering themselves
and those around them.Copy !req
541. When a prisoner became suicidal,
his attempts would failCopy !req
542. while appearing comical
and charming to any onlookers.Copy !req
543. Eventually hygiene became an issue.Copy !req
544. The smell of an unwashed prisoner
would penetrate the costumeCopy !req
545. and give the corporation
it represented a bad name.Copy !req
546. A new approach
was quickly put into effect.Copy !req
547. Through the use
of mass/matter compression,Copy !req
548. a prisoner could be reduced in size,Copy !req
549. infused into the body
of a small robot,Copy !req
550. dressed accordingly,Copy !req
551. and placed on a shelf
for public viewing.Copy !req
552. No personal contact
was ever made with the public.Copy !req
553. Cubby was a master
at mass/matter compression.Copy !req
554. Without him, Durango
would not have had a program.Copy !req
555. Cubby requested that he be allowed
to develop the deviceCopy !req
556. in the privacy of his cell.Copy !req
557. His request was granted,
and in a short whileCopy !req
558. six prototypes
were developed and delivered.Copy !req
559. Two additional devices
were secretly manufacturedCopy !req
560. and hidden
behind the wall of his cell.Copy !req
561. These two devices were to be worn
by Cubby and The Quasar KidCopy !req
562. while escaping through the prison's
tiny ventilation system.Copy !req
563. On the morning
of their planned escape,Copy !req
564. Cubby infused himself
within one of the tiny suits.Copy !req
565. He hid behind the toilet
and waited for The Quasar KidCopy !req
566. to finish his kitchen duty.Copy !req
567. Kid was distracted
and unable to join Cubby as planned.Copy !req
568. As Cubby patiently waited
behind the toilet,Copy !req
569. a prison janitor
hosed down their cell.Copy !req
570. The water
short-circuited Cubby's suit.Copy !req
571. He was killed within seconds.Copy !req
572. When Kid returned to their cell,
he discovered the miniature deviceCopy !req
573. that contained
the tiny remains of his friend.Copy !req
574. Only then did he remember
their escape plan.Copy !req
575. Cubby was secretly buried
the following morningCopy !req
576. in the prison community garden.Copy !req
577. And you expect me
to get into that thing?Copy !req
578. - It's easy. Just close your eyes.
- No! Hey! Hey! Hey!Copy !req
579. How's it feel?Copy !req
580. It's a little tight.Copy !req
581. - I think my leg's asleep.
- Can you move it?Copy !req
582. - Yeah, I think so.
- Well, just keep moving it.Copy !req
583. You'll be all right.
Now, hang on to my pant leg.Copy !req
584. Allow me to introduce our visitors.Copy !req
585. I must ask you to excuse their
somewhat lackadaisical manners,Copy !req
586. but I have conditioned them,
or brainwashed them.Copy !req
587. You will notice that I have told them
that they may smoke.Copy !req
588. I've allowed my people
to have a little funCopy !req
589. in the selection
of bizarre tobacco substitutes.Copy !req
590. Are you enjoying your cigarette, Ed?Copy !req
591. Yes, Fredward.Copy !req
592. Oh, tastes good,
like a cigarette should.Copy !req
593. And now, comrades,
may I introduce the famous...Copy !req
594. Can I help you?Copy !req
595. Party, it's a party
Come on, party, get retardedCopy !req
596. Party, it's a party
Come on, party, get retardedCopy !req
597. Party, it's a party
Come on, party, get it startedCopy !req
598. Party, it's a party
Come on party, get retardedCopy !req
599. Party, get it started
Party, it's a party, come on, partyCopy !req
600. Get retardedCopy !req
601. Oh, man, you scared me!Copy !req
602. You're the Carpenter's daughter.Copy !req
603. I'm here to take you
back to your daddy.Copy !req
604. I'm gonna need your help
getting us out of here.Copy !req
605. I think your legs look cool.Copy !req
606. Oh. Thank you very much.
They're not really mine.Copy !req
607. - Can I see them?
- Yeah, sure.Copy !req
608. Now, we don't have very much time,Copy !req
609. so I need you
to listen to me very carefully.Copy !req
610. This is gonna be a little bit tricky,Copy !req
611. and a little bit dangerous,
but I'm gonna get you out of here.Copy !req
612. Now, what I need you to do is run.Copy !req
613. Did you hear me?
Run! Run!Copy !req
614. Okay!Copy !req
615. - I ran really fast!
- Yeah, you did.Copy !req
616. - Can we go see my daddy now?
- As soon as The Kid gets back.Copy !req
617. It shouldn't take him very long.Copy !req
618. If I know The Kid, he won't stay
in there any longer than he has to.Copy !req
619. Party, it's a party
It's a party, get it startedCopy !req
620. Party, it's a party
It's a party, get it startedCopy !req
621. Party, it's a party
It's a party, get it startedCopy !req
622. Party, it's a party
It's a party, get it startedCopy !req
623. Party, it's a party
It's a party, get it startedCopy !req
624. Party, it's a party
It's a party, get it startedCopy !req
625. Party, it's a party
It's a party, get it startedCopy !req
626. Party, it's a party
It's a party, get it startedCopy !req
627. Stingray Sam and the girl
waited on board the ship,Copy !req
628. but what of The Quasar Kid?Copy !req
629. Had Fredward
discovered their plans?Copy !req
630. Had The Quasar Kid
been brainwashedCopy !req
631. for Fredward's amusement?Copy !req
632. Would the girl ever see her father,Copy !req
633. and will Stingray Sam remain
a tiny, little robot indefinitely?Copy !req
634. Find out on our next episode of...Copy !req
635. Stingray Sam!Copy !req
636. Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco
presents...Copy !req
637. Stingray Sam is not a heroCopy !req
638. But he does do the things
That folks don't doCopy !req
639. That need to be doneCopy !req
640. He's got a bravery insideCopy !req
641. That won't let him run away
Will not let him runCopy !req
642. It was a long night of angst,
anxiety and apprehensionCopy !req
643. for Stingray Sam
and the Carpenter's daughter.Copy !req
644. They waited
for what felt like an eternityCopy !req
645. for the return of The Quasar Kid,Copy !req
646. and by this point, they could
only fear the worst had transpiredCopy !req
647. and were beginning to give up hope,Copy !req
648. when suddenly...Copy !req
649. Morning, Stingray. Ma'am.Copy !req
650. - And where were you last night?
- How'd you get out of the suit?Copy !req
651. The girl let me out.
Where were you?Copy !req
652. I was keeping
Fredward and the boys busyCopy !req
653. so you could get the girl
and get on out of there.Copy !req
654. We were out of there
in two minutes.Copy !req
655. How was I supposed to know that?Copy !req
656. I was gettin' ready
to fly out of here.Copy !req
657. - We were gonna leave you a note.
- You would never have done that.Copy !req
658. Show him your note.Copy !req
659. That's a mighty nice note.
Thank you.Copy !req
660. Let's fly out of here
before they figure out she's missing.Copy !req
661. Stingray Sam, The Quasar Kid,Copy !req
662. and the Carpenter's daughter were
able to escape the planet unnoticed,Copy !req
663. but back
at the Fredward Compound,Copy !req
664. a flurry of activity
was taking place.Copy !req
665. The Artist,
who had originally been hiredCopy !req
666. to perform at Fredward's party,Copy !req
667. was discovered gagged and bound
in his dressing room.Copy !req
668. At the same time, the Carpenter's
daughter was found to be missing.Copy !req
669. But it was the absence
of The Quasar KidCopy !req
670. that pushed Fredward over the edge.Copy !req
671. He had not felt such a loss
since Famous Jerry the CarpenterCopy !req
672. had abandoned him.Copy !req
673. Fredward's disciples
tried to comfort FredwardCopy !req
674. by belittling The Quasar Kid.Copy !req
675. They tried to discredit his
participation in the evening's events.Copy !req
676. They callously mocked his dancing.Copy !req
677. Fredward became furious.Copy !req
678. He scolded them
in defense of The Quasar KidCopy !req
679. and had them arrested
for trespassing.Copy !req
680. When the police had taken away
the last of his guests,Copy !req
681. Fredward did something
that he had never done before.Copy !req
682. He left the compound.Copy !req
683. His anger gave him a bravery
that he had never known.Copy !req
684. In an abandoned rocket ship
of a convicted guestCopy !req
685. Fredward escaped
his planet unnoticed.Copy !req
686. - Hey, did you brush your teeth?
- Yeah.Copy !req
687. Did you use
that white toothbrush I gave you?Copy !req
688. - Yeah.
- All right. Go to bed.Copy !req
689. - Can you play me a song on that?
- No.Copy !req
690. Yes.Copy !req
691. Go get into bed.Copy !req
692. This here's a lullabyCopy !req
693. It's a song to go to sleep byCopy !req
694. Close your eyes while my friend
And I here sing you a lullabyCopy !req
695. Listen to the words of the songCopy !req
696. They're are all about cats and dogsCopy !req
697. Cats and dogs and stars in the sky
In a pretty little lullabyCopy !req
698. In a pretty little lullabyCopy !req
699. Close your eyesCopy !req
700. Shut them down tightCopy !req
701. Stars in the sky, shining up brightCopy !req
702. Everything will be all rightCopy !req
703. Here comes the SandmanCopy !req
704. With a pocket full of sleep dirtCopy !req
705. He's not a bad man
Not as bad as he seemsCopy !req
706. And he'll get you dreaming
Your baby dreamsCopy !req
707. He'll get you dreaming your dreamsCopy !req
708. This here's a lullaby songCopy !req
709. It's a melody for a little kid
To go to sleep onCopy !req
710. I never sang a lullaby in my lifeCopy !req
711. And I'm making it up as I go onCopy !req
712. If you have a bad dream tonight
You only gotta call my nameCopy !req
713. I'll come running
Just as fast as I canCopy !req
714. And I'm a whole lot tougher
Than any of themCopy !req
715. In the morning when you wake upCopy !req
716. Just look around and you'll see meCopy !req
717. If you want to get up
Just wake me upCopy !req
718. And I'll be as happy as I can beCopy !req
719. This here's a lullabyCopy !req
720. It's a song to go to sleep byCopy !req
721. Close your eyes while my friend
And I here sing you a lullabyCopy !req
722. I'll sing you a lullabyCopy !req
723. I think she's asleep.Copy !req
724. Look at this.Copy !req
725. They came off.
I guess we did it. We're free.Copy !req
726. You're right.Copy !req
727. Thanks for bringing me with ya, Kid!Copy !req
728. I couldn't have done it without you.Copy !req
729. Well, I guess I'm gonna
be gettin' out of here, now.Copy !req
730. - What?
- I don't want to wake her.Copy !req
731. - I'll just get going.
- Well, you can't leave her with me.Copy !req
732. I can't take her with me.
My job was to rescue her.Copy !req
733. Beyond that, she's on her own.Copy !req
734. Besides, I was just trying
to help you get your freedom.Copy !req
735. You were trying
to get your own freedom,Copy !req
736. and you hijacked me
into helping you!Copy !req
737. I appreciate what you did.Copy !req
738. All right.Copy !req
739. I'll figure something out.Copy !req
740. - Where you headed?
- Mars.Copy !req
741. I'm going to Mars!Copy !req
742. Different Mars.Copy !req
743. I want to do that!Copy !req
744. I'll show you later.Copy !req
745. You take care, Quasar Kid.Copy !req
746. You do the same, Stingray Sam.Copy !req
747. Shut your eyes, little girl.Copy !req
748. Oh, dang, Stingray!
What the hell did you do in here?Copy !req
749. You take care, Quasar Kid.Copy !req
750. You take care.Copy !req
751. So, what do you think of The Kid?Copy !req
752. He was a little bit nice
and a little bit mean.Copy !req
753. Wow, girl, I think you hit the nail
right on the head with that one.Copy !req
754. The Kid is a little bit nice
and a little bit mean.Copy !req
755. You're okay.Copy !req
756. Tell you what, now I'm gonna show
you that handshake, but it's a secret,Copy !req
757. so you can't tell anyone, all right?Copy !req
758. Put up your thumb.Copy !req
759. Now stick out your pinkie.Copy !req
760. Now hold your hand flat like that.Copy !req
761. High five!Copy !req
762. To the side.Copy !req
763. Down low.
Too slow!Copy !req
764. Too slow.
All right, let's try it again.Copy !req
765. In ancient China,
a saintly characterCopy !req
766. was believed to have
watched over "the vulnerable ones."Copy !req
767. The three groups considered
for this classificationCopy !req
768. were travelers, soldiers,
and mothers with children.Copy !req
769. Now, with his debt to society paid,Copy !req
770. Stingray Sam
began his new life as a free manCopy !req
771. under the weight
of an unforeseen obligationCopy !req
772. that had placed him in all threeCopy !req
773. of the ancient Chinese
categories of vulnerability.Copy !req
774. Watch over him now,
O Saints of Ancient China!Copy !req
775. And you watch, too, on our next
and final episode of...Copy !req
776. Stingray Sam!Copy !req
777. Liberty Chew Chewing Tobacco
presents...Copy !req
778. Stingray Sam is not a heroCopy !req
779. But he does do the things
That folks don't doCopy !req
780. That need to be doneCopy !req
781. He's got a bravery insideCopy !req
782. That won't let him run away
Will not let him runCopy !req
783. In our last episode,
a small child was rescuedCopy !req
784. and then left
in the custody of Stingray Sam.Copy !req
785. Given no other choice,
Stingray has resigned himselfCopy !req
786. to deliver the child
to her long lost father.Copy !req
787. Many days have come and goneCopy !req
788. since the union
of this unlikely duo was forged.Copy !req
789. Now, at the final stage
of their journey,Copy !req
790. Stingray's freedom draws nearer
as a father-and-daughter reunionCopy !req
791. will soon be at hand.Copy !req
792. Okay, girl,
we got a long way to go today.Copy !req
793. Why don't you go get
that toothbrush I gave you,Copy !req
794. and we'll put it in your bag?Copy !req
795. Oh, oh, I just need to do this.Copy !req
796. Don't you want to go
see your daddy?Copy !req
797. I just need to do this song
one more time.Copy !req
798. Well, it's getting late.Copy !req
799. I just need to do it once.Copy !req
800. Okay.Copy !req
801. Just one more time.Copy !req
802. I'd like to do that, too.Copy !req
803. Shummumumum mumum mumum
I'm your peg-legged fatherCopy !req
804. Shummumumum mumum mumum
You're my darling daughterCopy !req
805. You're my darling daughterCopy !req
806. I'm your peg-legged fatherCopy !req
807. What has become
Of your cold-hearted mother?Copy !req
808. Shummumumum mumum mumumCopy !req
809. I'm the man who raised youCopy !req
810. Shummumumum mumum mumumCopy !req
811. Her absence never fazed youCopy !req
812. Her absence never fazed youCopy !req
813. I'm the man who raised youCopy !req
814. Your mother tried to kill us bothCopy !req
815. But her bullet only grazed youCopy !req
816. Shummumumum mumum mumumCopy !req
817. Her second bullet got meCopy !req
818. Shummumumum mumum mumumCopy !req
819. Your wicked mother shot meCopy !req
820. Your wicked mother shot meCopy !req
821. Her second bullet got meCopy !req
822. A weaker man would have fallen
To the ground, but not meCopy !req
823. Shummumumum mumum mumumCopy !req
824. She got me in the legCopy !req
825. Shummumumum mumum mumumCopy !req
826. That's how I got the pegCopy !req
827. That's how I got the pegCopy !req
828. She shot me in the legCopy !req
829. I grabbed her by the neckCopy !req
830. And pushed her down
And made her begCopy !req
831. Shummumumum mumum mumumCopy !req
832. I heard your mother curse meCopy !req
833. Shummumumum mumum mumumCopy !req
834. But the bleeding made me thirstyCopy !req
835. I heard your mother curse meCopy !req
836. But the bleeding made me thirstyCopy !req
837. That's why I let go
Of your mother's neckCopy !req
838. And showed her mercyCopy !req
839. Shummumumum mumum mumumCopy !req
840. She up and ran awayCopy !req
841. Shummumumum mumum mumumCopy !req
842. A year ago todayCopy !req
843. Her letter came todayCopy !req
844. Her letter came todayCopy !req
845. What did it say?
Oh, what did it say?Copy !req
846. What did it say?Copy !req
847. What did the letter say?Copy !req
848. What did it say?
What did it say?Copy !req
849. It said it's time
for me to take you home.Copy !req
850. Okay, let's go.Copy !req
851. Hold it right there...Copy !req
852. Matey!Copy !req
853. The little girl is coming with me.Copy !req
854. - Or what?
- Or you die.Copy !req
855. She dies.Copy !req
856. Everybody but me dies.Copy !req
857. Basically, everyone
on that side of my gun.Copy !req
858. - I'm taking her back to her father.
- She doesn't have a father.Copy !req
859. Her father ran away
and left her with me.Copy !req
860. That's not what really happened.Copy !req
861. I don't care what really happened.Copy !req
862. The girl stays with me.
She's mine.Copy !req
863. Nobody runs away from Fredward!
Nobody!Copy !req
864. Not the girl, not her father,Copy !req
865. and especially not that guy
who danced at my party a week ago.Copy !req
866. Where is he anyway? I thought
he'd be around here somewhere.Copy !req
867. I don't know.Copy !req
868. So you haven't anything
to bargain with, then, have you?Copy !req
869. So, send the girl over hereCopy !req
870. and prepare
to have your face blasted off.Copy !req
871. Little girl,Copy !req
872. you better get on the other side
of that gun and shut your eyes.Copy !req
873. No, Stingray!Copy !req
874. I said, "Git!"Copy !req
875. Close your eyes, little girl.Copy !req
876. I know I'm gonna close mine.Copy !req
877. Stingray!Copy !req
878. Oh, no!
What happened to me?Copy !req
879. What's that smell?
Hey, it stinks in here!Copy !req
880. Let me out of here!Copy !req
881. Get me out of this thing!
You can't do this to me!Copy !req
882. - I have protection!
- You're not protected here, pal.Copy !req
883. - I thought you were going to Mars!
- I thought this was Mars.Copy !req
884. Different Mars, I guess.Copy !req
885. You've been a naughty boy,
Fredward.Copy !req
886. It's time you start
paying your debt to society.Copy !req
887. By the powers vested in me
by the leading membersCopy !req
888. of the lnter-Galactic Community,Copy !req
889. it's my duty
to inform you of your rights.Copy !req
890. He can't hear me.Copy !req
891. Well, Quasar Kid,
first you hijack meCopy !req
892. into paying off my debt to society,
and now you've captured Fredward.Copy !req
893. If I didn't know any better,Copy !req
894. I'd say you became a bounty hunter
while I was away.Copy !req
895. Well, we all can't be lounge singers.Copy !req
896. That's the truth, Quasar Kid.Copy !req
897. You take care of yourself.Copy !req
898. - I'm taking your ship, Stingray.
- I know you are, Kid.Copy !req
899. I know you are.Copy !req
900. There's your daddy's house.Copy !req
901. I guess that's where you're
gonna be staying from now on.Copy !req
902. It looks nice.Copy !req
903. Stingray, will you stay
with me and Daddy?Copy !req
904. Nah. You two got a lot
of catching up to do.Copy !req
905. - I gotta get back to work.
- Why?Copy !req
906. Well, because I'm a lounge singer,
and a lounge singer's gotta sing.Copy !req
907. He's gotta be there every night
to make sure folks get sung to.Copy !req
908. I know that might not
mean a lot to some people,Copy !req
909. but it means a lot to me
and a lot of peopleCopy !req
910. who come to see a lounge singer,
and that's me.Copy !req
911. But I want to stay with you.Copy !req
912. - You do?
- Yeah.Copy !req
913. Well, I'll tell you what.Copy !req
914. I know your daddy misses you,Copy !req
915. but you and your daddy haven't
seen each other for a long timeCopy !req
916. and you can't always tell how things
are gonna go between two folks.Copy !req
917. So if things aren't working out,Copy !req
918. and you need someone to come
and get you, you just give me a—Copy !req
919. Daddy!Copy !req