1. Michael?Copy !req
2. What are you doing out here, son?
It's after midnight.Copy !req
3. Couldn't sleep, Pops.Copy !req
4. Well, neither can we,
with all that noise you're making.Copy !req
5. Come on, let's go inside.Copy !req
6. Just one more shot?Copy !req
7. All right. Just one.Copy !req
8. Yeah.Copy !req
9. That's good. Shoot it again.Copy !req
10. Getting pretty good, son.
Go ahead, shoot till you miss.Copy !req
11. You think if I can get good enough,
I can go to college?Copy !req
12. Hey...Copy !req
13. ...if you get good enough,
you can do anything you want to, Michael.Copy !req
14. I want to play at North Carolina.Copy !req
15. That's a real fine school.
Real fine school.Copy !req
16. You can get a first-class education there.Copy !req
17. I want to play on a championship team.Copy !req
18. Then I want to play in the NBA.Copy !req
19. All right, let's slow down, son.Copy !req
20. Don't you think you ought
to get a little sleep first?Copy !req
21. - And once I've done all that...
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
22. ...I want to play baseball,
just like you, Dad.Copy !req
23. Baseball. Now, that's a sport.Copy !req
24. And when you're finished with that,
I suppose you're gonna fly, huh?Copy !req
25. I just feel at this particular time...Copy !req
26. ...that I reached the, uh, pinnacle of
my basketball career and I must retire.Copy !req
27. The one good thing that comes out of this
is that my father had the opportunity...Copy !req
28. ...to see me play my last basketball game,
and that means a lot to me.Copy !req
29. What are you gonna do now?Copy !req
30. Well, I've never really told anybody this,
except for one person, and, uh...Copy !req
31. But I think I'm gonna go play
professional baseball.Copy !req
32. - What position will you play?
- I don't know. As a kid, I was a pitcher.Copy !req
33. I think that would be kind of hard for me
to pitch, so I'm gonna play the outfield.Copy !req
34. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
35. Let's get out of here, Dad. This stinks.Copy !req
36. Don't bring me here anymore, all right?Copy !req
37. - Don't bring me here anymore, all right?
Are you listening?Copy !req
38. Did you hear him? Did you hear him?
That little brat is right.Copy !req
39. I've told you, if I've told you once...Copy !req
40. ...I told you a thousand, thousand,
thousand, thousand times.Copy !req
41. We need new attractions.Copy !req
42. - Right.
- New ones.Copy !req
43. Uh-huh.Copy !req
44. - Get it?
- Big, shiny new things, yeah.Copy !req
45. - Absolutely, sir.
- Look at me. Look at me and listen.Copy !req
46. The customer is always right.Copy !req
47. Right.
- The customer is always right.Copy !req
48. Exactly.Copy !req
49. Always.Copy !req
50. Right.Copy !req
51. - Okay, we need something...
My bad.Copy !req
52. We need something...Copy !req
53. - ... nutty.
- Nutty.Copy !req
54. - Something wacky.
Wacky.Copy !req
55. We need something, something...
Something... We need something...Copy !req
56. Looney? Oops.Copy !req
57. Looney. Thank you.Copy !req
58. Looney?Copy !req
59. I'm an elk. Shoot me.Copy !req
60. Yes. Looney. Yes.Copy !req
61. Now you're talking.
Looney. Looney. That's it.Copy !req
62. That's the word I was looking for.
Looney.Copy !req
63. - Get the Looney Tunes.
- Looney Tunes!Copy !req
64. - Bring them here.
Sir. Just noticing, sir.Copy !req
65. They're from Earth.
What if they can't come?Copy !req
66. What did you say?
What if they can't come?Copy !req
67. - Make them.
- Cool.Copy !req
68. Make them. Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
69. We're gonna go get them. Yeah. All right.Copy !req
70. Strike!Copy !req
71. Looks good in that uniform.Copy !req
72. Looks great. Can't teach that.Copy !req
73. Can't teach it.Copy !req
74. Thanks for autographing that basketball
for my kid. I'm a hero now.Copy !req
75. No problem. Happy to do it, man.Copy !req
76. Let's go!Copy !req
77. Curve ball. Don't swing.Copy !req
78. Don't swing.Copy !req
79. Ball!Copy !req
80. Fastball, outside corner. Swing.Copy !req
81. Strike!Copy !req
82. That was your pitch.Copy !req
83. I know, I missed it.Copy !req
84. Don't worry. I'll get you another one.Copy !req
85. Podolak. Podolak, come here.Copy !req
86. Sorry, I didn't mean to...Copy !req
87. - Come here.
- Yes, sir?Copy !req
88. Make sure nobody bothers Michael. I want
him to be the happiest player in the world.Copy !req
89. The happiest.Copy !req
90. Slider. Don't swing.Copy !req
91. Strike three!Copy !req
92. I told you not to swing.Copy !req
93. I couldn't help it.Copy !req
94. I understand. Hey, nice talking to you.Copy !req
95. We're not worried. We're not worried.Copy !req
96. Good job, Mike.
Good hustle.Copy !req
97. Good cut, Michael. Good cut.Copy !req
98. That was a strikeout, Mike?
Good-looking strikeout. Real good.Copy !req
99. You look good when you strike out.
When I strike out, it looks nasty, man.Copy !req
100. At least you look good, man.
Good-looking.Copy !req
101. Hi, Mr. Jordan.Copy !req
102. Mr. Jordan, I'm Stan Podolak...Copy !req
103. Oh, jeez.Copy !req
104. - You all right? That was a nasty fall.
- Yeah.Copy !req
105. Oh. I'm Stan Podolak, Mr. Jordan.
I'm the Barons' new publicist.Copy !req
106. I'm here to make your life easier.
Want me to drive you somewhere?Copy !req
107. Want me to pick up your laundry,
babysit your kids? I will do it.Copy !req
108. I am here to personally guarantee
that no one will ever bother you.Copy !req
109. What was that?Copy !req
110. Hang on.Copy !req
111. - Hanging on.
- Hanging on.Copy !req
112. Are we there yet?Copy !req
113. - Bombastic.
- Cool.Copy !req
114. All right, you irascible bunny.Copy !req
115. Come back here, you screwy rodent.Copy !req
116. I'll, uh, be with you in a second, folks,
after I finish with nature boy here.Copy !req
117. All right, you pesky rabbit.
I've got you now.Copy !req
118. Ouch!Copy !req
119. Hmm.Copy !req
120. One small step for moi...Copy !req
121. One giant leap for Moron Mountain.Copy !req
122. And one whopper headache for
Elmer Fudd.Copy !req
123. Diminutive, ain't they?Copy !req
124. - We seek the one they call Bugs Bunny.
- Yeah, Bugs Bunny.Copy !req
125. - Have you seen him?
- Where is this guy?Copy !req
126. Is he around?Copy !req
127. Hmm. Bugs Bunny, Bugs Bunny.Copy !req
128. Say, does he have, uh,
great big long ears?Copy !req
129. - Like this?
- Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
130. And does he hop around like this?Copy !req
131. - Yeah.
- Well, uh...Copy !req
132. ...does he say, "What's up, doc?"
like this:Copy !req
133. - Eh, what's up, doc?
- Yeah!Copy !req
134. Nope. Never heard of him.Copy !req
135. You know, maybe there is no intelligent life
out there in the universe after all.Copy !req
136. Hold on there, Mr. Looney Tune.Copy !req
137. Hey, what do you think we are, stupid?Copy !req
138. Don't move a muscle.Copy !req
139. Okay, bunny, gather up your Tune pals.Copy !req
140. - We're taking you for a ride. Ha, ha.
Move it, mister.Copy !req
141. Totally. All right.
So, like, where are we going?Copy !req
142. Are we there yet?Copy !req
143. Sorry it took so long.
Don't worry.Copy !req
144. That exit wasn't clearly marked.
Hold up, right here.Copy !req
145. What, here?
Yes.Copy !req
146. Thanks for the ride, Sherm.
Appreciate it.Copy !req
147. - It's Stan, Mike.
- Sorry.Copy !req
148. But you can call me Sherm if you want to.
I've followed your whole career.Copy !req
149. - You're the greatest athlete that's ever lived.
- Stan, Stan, Stan.Copy !req
150. How do I get out?
The door doesn't work.Copy !req
151. - I'm sorry. I forgot... It's a classic.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
152. It's a classic, but it's got a few
peccadilloes. Hold on just a second.Copy !req
153. A few, huh? It's smoking, too, man.
You need to get that checked.Copy !req
154. Thanks for the ride.Copy !req
155. Oh.Copy !req
156. Oh, this is nice. This is a nice house.Copy !req
157. That is a beauty. What is that, Colonial?Copy !req
158. It's a nice house.Copy !req
159. If you need anything done
around the house, I'd be happy...Copy !req
160. - Oh, no, I'm fine, thanks.
- Anything you need.Copy !req
161. - You gave me a ride. I appreciate it.
- Sure.Copy !req
162. Tomorrow I'm gonna drive, okay?
So I don't need the ride.Copy !req
163. But thanks, though.Copy !req
164. Too conspicuous?Copy !req
165. Yeah.Copy !req
166. - All right. All right.
- Thanks, though.Copy !req
167. - Tomorrow.
- See you tomorrow.Copy !req
168. Come on, dog. No, not today.Copy !req
169. Dog, get off me. Your breath.Copy !req
170. - Mr. Jordan, are you okay?
- Get off of me!Copy !req
171. Get off of him, Charles.Copy !req
172. - Bad dog. Git.
- Get off of him.Copy !req
173. - Get off me, Charles.
- Get off of him before I cook you.Copy !req
174. Come on, come on.
Come on, baby. Come on.Copy !req
175. Get out of the car!Copy !req
176. Good game.Copy !req
177. Hey, Jeff, you okay?Copy !req
178. - How was your game?
I don't want to talk.Copy !req
179. - Hi, Dad.
Hey, hey.Copy !req
180. Michael!Copy !req
181. - Daddy, Daddy!
- How you doing?Copy !req
182. Hey.
Hey.Copy !req
183. - Ooh. You're all covered with drool, baby.
- That's your dog.Copy !req
184. - What's wrong with Jeff?
- He went two for five...Copy !req
185. - ... lost 32 points in his average.
- Is that all?Copy !req
186. Yeah, so that puts him at like a. 685
or something.Copy !req
187. He's batting what?Copy !req
188. Mm.
Smells good in here. What you cooking?Copy !req
189. Chicken.
- Chicken and what?Copy !req
190. - Chicken and collard greens.
- Good. I'm gonna need a good meal tonight.Copy !req
191. Is everything okay?Copy !req
192. I stunk up the place.
I hope this baseball thing was a good idea.Copy !req
193. It was another career day for Michael Jordan
at Barons Field this afternoon.Copy !req
194. Let's face it. This baseball...Copy !req
195. What are you guys watching?Copy !req
196. - Today he had three strikeouts.
- Is this the only thing on TV?Copy !req
197. - That brings his batting average down...
- What's up with this?Copy !req
198. ...to an anemic. 214,
which is also his weight.Copy !req
199. Baseball bat?
Get this guy a tennis racquet.Copy !req
200. Did everyone get mad at you?Copy !req
201. No. Worse.
Everyone was real nice about it.Copy !req
202. Michael, I know golf is your sport,
but not here.Copy !req
203. I think you should open up
your stance a little.Copy !req
204. It might make you more aggressive
at the plate.Copy !req
205. - You think so? I'll try to remember that.
- Watching this hurts me more than you.Copy !req
206. What are you guys doing
watching this stuff? It's bad for you.Copy !req
207. There you go. Road Runner. Beep, beep.Copy !req
208. Oh. Stop this cartoon.Copy !req
209. We've got an emergency
Cartoon Character Union Meeting to go to.Copy !req
210. Hey, wait for me. Hold your horses.Copy !req
211. Dang. Where'd they go?Copy !req
212. - Stop the music. Top duck coming through.
Hey!Copy !req
213. Jeez. It's getting so a guy can't even
get himself wet around here.Copy !req
214. So, what's the big emergency?Copy !req
215. Uh, these little guys would like to make
an announcement. Here you go, shorty.Copy !req
216. - Go.
- All right, all right.Copy !req
217. You, all of you, are now our prisoners.Copy !req
218. We're in big trouble now.Copy !req
219. We are taking you to our theme park
in outer space.Copy !req
220. - No fooling.
- Where you'll be our slaves.Copy !req
221. And placed on display for the amusement
of our paying customers.Copy !req
222. Oh, fear clutches my breast.Copy !req
223. We ain't going nowheres.Copy !req
224. Eh, not so fast, doc.Copy !req
225. You just can't turn us into slaves.
That would be bad.Copy !req
226. You've gotta give us a chance
to defend ourselves.Copy !req
227. - Oh, yeah? Who says?
Says who?Copy !req
228. Why?
- Just a sec.Copy !req
229. - There. Read them and weep.
- What's this?Copy !req
230. "Give them a chance
to defend themselves. "Copy !req
231. Aw. Do we have to?Copy !req
232. - It's in the rule book.
- It is.Copy !req
233. Okay. It is in the rule book.Copy !req
234. We have to confer.Copy !req
235. All right, troops. It is for us to choose
a battlefield that affords us...Copy !req
236. Oh, I got it.Copy !req
237. Yes, Private Porkster?Copy !req
238. How about we challenge them to a...Copy !req
239. - ... spelling bee?
- Say...Copy !req
240. ...we could have a bowling tournament.Copy !req
241. Suffering succotash.Copy !req
242. What's wrong with all of you?Copy !req
243. I say we get a ladder...Copy !req
244. ...wait till the old lady's out of the room...Copy !req
245. ...then grab that little bird.Copy !req
246. Whoa, whoa, take a deep breath, Sly.Copy !req
247. Okay, let's analyze the competition.Copy !req
248. Now, uh, what are we looking at here?
We got a small race of invading aliens.Copy !req
249. Small arms. Short legs.Copy !req
250. Not very fast.Copy !req
251. Tiny little guys.Copy !req
252. Can't jump high.Copy !req
253. Ah.Copy !req
254. We challenge you to a basketball game.Copy !req
255. All right. Basketball it is.Copy !req
256. - Basketball.
- Basketball.Copy !req
257. - Boy, oh, boy.
- All right.Copy !req
258. What is basketball?Copy !req
259. - What's that?
- Beats me.Copy !req
260. We didn't have that in school.Copy !req
261. - Lights.
Pardon me. Sorry.Copy !req
262. Hey! Down in front.Copy !req
263. An exhilarating team sport...Copy !req
264. ...currently growing rapidly in popularity
is basketball.Copy !req
265. Unlike football and baseball,
only five men can play on a team.Copy !req
266. It's a fast-paced, razzle-dazzle game
that requires quick wits...Copy !req
267. ...and even faster reflexes.Copy !req
268. Here's how it's done
in the professional ranks...Copy !req
269. ...the National Basketball Association,
featuring the best players in the world.Copy !req
270. - The best players in the world.
- The best.Copy !req
271. Excuse me. Oh, so sorry.Copy !req
272. Excuse me.Copy !req
273. Ow. Get your feet out of my nose.Copy !req
274. Quiet, they're looking.Copy !req
275. Hey, it's basketball.Copy !req
276. Where?
Whoa. Now what?Copy !req
277. Hey, hey!
What?Copy !req
278. She's looking again.
Close it up.Copy !req
279. - Tightly.
- Aah.Copy !req
280. You poked me again.Copy !req
281. - Sweetheart?
- What?Copy !req
282. - I thought you'd get better seats.
- This is as good as I could get.Copy !req
283. This guy next to me is doing something
very weird in his raincoat.Copy !req
284. Honey, will you just let me watch the game?
Barkley's killing us.Copy !req
285. Hey, someone's killing someone.Copy !req
286. No. Seriously?Copy !req
287. Wow, a killer.
Let me see.Copy !req
288. There. That's him, the killer.Copy !req
289. He's big.Copy !req
290. He's good.Copy !req
291. He's mine.Copy !req
292. Okay, go get him.
Yeah.Copy !req
293. Get back on defense.
Let's go. Get back on defense, man.Copy !req
294. What are you doing?Copy !req
295. Time out. Call time out.Copy !req
296. What's wrong with you, man?
You're killing us.Copy !req
297. - Let him in. Open up.
- Open.Copy !req
298. Wow. He did it.Copy !req
299. I got it. I got his talent.Copy !req
300. - All right.
- Super.Copy !req
301. - Sit down, Chuck.
- Man, I'm fine. I am fine.Copy !req
302. No, no. I played you too many minutes.Copy !req
303. - But I'm not tired.
- Go get the doctor.Copy !req
304. - What's up, man? You all right?
- Yeah.Copy !req
305. You sure?Copy !req
306. Come on, we're okay.
You're okay. Come on, let's go.Copy !req
307. Come on, Patrick. It's showtime.Copy !req
308. What's wrong with him?Copy !req
309. Popcorn...Copy !req
310. In a shocking development...Copy !req
311. ...five NBA players have been placed
on the disabled list in the last 24 hours...Copy !req
312. ...all suffering from the same
mysterious ailment.Copy !req
313. - Yeah? Hmm.
- Whatever this mystery is...Copy !req
314. - ... it affects the player's coordination.
- I'll be home in a couple days.Copy !req
315. - Watch Patrick Ewing.
- Put your mom on the phone.Copy !req
316. - It wasn't just in New York.
- Hey, baby. How you doing?Copy !req
317. - Check out the highlights.
- You watching TV?Copy !req
318. What the hell is going on?Copy !req
319. - You gonna be all right?
- I'm ready, coach. All right.Copy !req
320. Looks like I retired just in time.Copy !req
321. All right, baby, gotta go.
I'll call you later, okay? Love you. Bye.Copy !req
322. It's open!Copy !req
323. Come on, it's game time.
Get your Hanes on. Lace up your Nikes.Copy !req
324. Grab your Wheaties and your Gatorade
and we'll pick up a Big Mac on the way.Copy !req
325. Now we take you live
to the Forum in Los Angeles...Copy !req
326. ...where the Lakers are refusing
to take the court.Copy !req
327. Guys, we gotta get dressed.Copy !req
328. We got a game in five minutes.
I mean, we're talking about a huge fine here.Copy !req
329. - No, we can't go in the locker room.
- Oh, man.Copy !req
330. You heard what happened to Barkley
and Ewing. There's germs in there.Copy !req
331. Cedric, that was in New York,
3000 miles away.Copy !req
332. Bacteria can travel faster
than the speed of light.Copy !req
333. - It could be Invasion of the Body Snatchers.
Yeah, could be.Copy !req
334. All right. Dress in the hallway.Copy !req
335. Okay.Copy !req
336. Okay, okay, now, which one of you maroons
has ever played basketball before?Copy !req
337. I have, coach. And there's an important
strategic question I need to ask you.Copy !req
338. Yes, yes?Copy !req
339. What do you think? I'm kind of partial
to purple and gold, myself.Copy !req
340. It goes better with my coloring.
A one, two, three, four.Copy !req
341. Guys? Nice outfit, Daffy.Copy !req
342. The little aliens say it's their turn
to, uh, use the court.Copy !req
343. Sure, let the little pipsqueaks
knock themselves out.Copy !req
344. Too bad you can't practice
getting taller, boys.Copy !req
345. Whoa!
Ah!Copy !req
346. Hey, little pig.Copy !req
347. - Boo.
- Aah!Copy !req
348. I wet myself.Copy !req
349. Time to play a little basketball.Copy !req
350. Those little pipsqueaks
just turned into superstars.Copy !req
351. They're monsters.Copy !req
352. Suffering succotash.Copy !req
353. They're Monstars.Copy !req
354. Bye-bye.Copy !req
355. Eh,
I think we might need a little bit of help.Copy !req
356. A hundred and seventy-five yards.Copy !req
357. Okay, little fella.
You my friend or are you my enemy?Copy !req
358. You are my friend, right?
You are my ally.Copy !req
359. You are my associate,
my personal assistant.Copy !req
360. You are my weapon. You are leaving.Copy !req
361. - Great shot.
- Nice shot, Mr. Murray.Copy !req
362. You can stop posing now.Copy !req
363. - Good try.
- Not bad, not bad.Copy !req
364. Something for you to shoot at.
- Hit it good.Copy !req
365. Do my best.Copy !req
366. It was a good shot.Copy !req
367. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
368. Mike, I gotta ask you something.Copy !req
369. The NBA has to face reality.Copy !req
370. What's happening to these players
is serious.Copy !req
371. They're gonna need new players
with talent.Copy !req
372. Guys who are skilled, but never really
thought about a professional career before.Copy !req
373. You think I got a shot?Copy !req
374. - Come on, really?
- No.Copy !req
375. - Don't kid me.
- Listen. It's a man's game.Copy !req
376. - You can't play.
- What if I tried really hard?Copy !req
377. Keep it down. I'm trying to hit this ball.Copy !req
378. It's because I'm white, isn't it?Copy !req
379. No. Larry's white. So what?Copy !req
380. Larry's not white. Larry's clear.Copy !req
381. - Good shot, Larry.
That's nice.Copy !req
382. Get inside his ball.Copy !req
383. Whoa.Copy !req
384. You clowns can't beat that.Copy !req
385. - My best shot ever.
- You haven't played long.Copy !req
386. A Hall-of-Fame shot.Copy !req
387. - Really nice shot, Mr. Bird.
Larry, please.Copy !req
388. - Nice shot, Mr. Larry.
- Nice shot, Larry.Copy !req
389. You can do this.Copy !req
390. Don't be nervous. You can do this.Copy !req
391. Larry, you feel that the NBA
has to face reality, don't you?Copy !req
392. Gotta look for more dominant players
in places they never looked before.Copy !req
393. Just look at the ball.
Visualize where you want it to go.Copy !req
394. - Right, right, right.
- Be the ball. Be the ball.Copy !req
395. Get off the tee.Copy !req
396. You can't jump.Copy !req
397. I... Yeah, go on.Copy !req
398. - Close to the pin?
Close to the pin? For dinner?Copy !req
399. Sounds good.
I'll go close to the pin.Copy !req
400. - Okay, cool.
- I'll take some of that.Copy !req
401. That's not bad.Copy !req
402. Good shot.Copy !req
403. Get down.Copy !req
404. Look at that. Look at that spin.Copy !req
405. Come on.Copy !req
406. It is alive.Copy !req
407. Yes! Yes! My first hole in one. Yes!Copy !req
408. Oh.Copy !req
409. Don't say it.
Never seen one of these before.Copy !req
410. Larry, nothing but the bottom of the cup.Copy !req
411. That's his ball too.
- Yeah, yeah, it's my ball. Sorry.Copy !req
412. - Let me get a picture.
- You guys are jealous.Copy !req
413. All right, here we go. Now, you gotta smile.
Reach in for the ball and then smile, okay?Copy !req
414. - Yes.
- And you think, "This is good. "Copy !req
415. Just take the picture.
- Okay.Copy !req
416. - What kind of camera is that?
- Just...Copy !req
417. Don't point it at me. Close the lens cap.Copy !req
418. - I didn't do anything.
- Where did he go?Copy !req
419. Hey!Copy !req
420. No, no, no!Copy !req
421. Oh, uh, look out for that first step,
doc, it's a real lulu.Copy !req
422. Bugs Bunny?Copy !req
423. Eh, you were expecting
maybe the Easter Bunny?Copy !req
424. - You're a cartoon. You're not real.
- Not real, eh?Copy !req
425. If I weren't real, could I do this?Copy !req
426. Ugh.Copy !req
427. Oh, look. Is that Michael?Copy !req
428. It's Michael.Copy !req
429. It's Air Jordan.Copy !req
430. Basketball.Copy !req
431. Ooh. I tought I taw...Copy !req
432. I did. I did see Michael Jordan.Copy !req
433. Pardon me, Mr. Jordan.
Uh, can I have your auto...?Copy !req
434. Your John Hancock, please?Copy !req
435. Back off. Let the doctor take a look.Copy !req
436. - A little high.
- No.Copy !req
437. Going down.Copy !req
438. No!Copy !req
439. So, what do you say we go
for a little spin?Copy !req
440. Hmm.
Now, let's see what we got inside here.Copy !req
441. Say "ah. "Copy !req
442. All right. He's okay.Copy !req
443. - What's going on here?
- Why, Michael, I thought you'd never ask.Copy !req
444. These aliens from outer space want
to make us slaves in their theme park.Copy !req
445. What do we care? They're little.Copy !req
446. So we challenged them
to a basketball game.Copy !req
447. But then they show up
and they ain't so little. They're huge.Copy !req
448. We need to beat these guys,
because they're talking about slavery.Copy !req
449. They'll make us do stand-up comedy,
the same jokes every night for all eternity.Copy !req
450. We'll be locked up like wild animals
and then trotted out to perform...Copy !req
451. ...for a bunch of lowbrow, bug-eyed,
fat-headed, humor-challenged aliens.Copy !req
452. Uh, what I'm trying to say is...Copy !req
453. ...we need your help!Copy !req
454. Yeah, but I'm a baseball player now.Copy !req
455. Right. And I'm a Shakespearean actor.Copy !req
456. Mike? Michael? It's Stan. Stan Podolak.Copy !req
457. Uh, look,
I need you to come out now, okay?Copy !req
458. Because you got a baseball game
tomorrow.Copy !req
459. And I'd look pretty stupid
if you don't show up.Copy !req
460. Think Michael's all right?
I hate to leave him like this.Copy !req
461. I'm sure he's fine. I think he just had to
get away from that Stan character.Copy !req
462. - God, he's pathetic, isn't he?
- Yeah.Copy !req
463. I'm gonna give us both twos back there.Copy !req
464. We weren't in any kind of
emotional state to putt.Copy !req
465. - I think that's fair.
- Yeah.Copy !req
466. Now, if Mike is gone,
the NBA is gonna need some new people.Copy !req
467. There's room at the top.Copy !req
468. An exciting guy who could maybe
even perform at half-time.Copy !req
469. You still tight with David Stern?
A phone call from you...Copy !req
470. Look, I want to help, but I haven't
played basketball in a long time.Copy !req
471. - My timing's all off.
- Eh, we'll fix your timing.Copy !req
472. Look at our facilities.Copy !req
473. We've got hoops.Copy !req
474. We got weights.Copy !req
475. We've got balls. Whoa!Copy !req
476. You sure do. This place is a mess.Copy !req
477. Mess?
You're worried about a little mess?Copy !req
478. There's nothing here
a little spit shine wouldn't fix.Copy !req
479. - Spit shine!
- Spit shine!Copy !req
480. Lemony-fresh.Copy !req
481. You guys are nuts.Copy !req
482. Correction: We're Looney Tunes.Copy !req
483. And as such are the exclusive property
and trademark of Warner Bros. Inc.Copy !req
484. I'm here.Copy !req
485. Me too.Copy !req
486. That hurt.Copy !req
487. Who are these guys?Copy !req
488. Well, uh, remember the tiny aliens
I told you about?Copy !req
489. Oh.Copy !req
490. You heard of the Dream Team?
Well, we're the Mean Team, wussy-man.Copy !req
491. - Wussy-man.
- Wussy-man?Copy !req
492. We're the Monstars. M-O-N... Um...Copy !req
493. Let's see what you got, chump.Copy !req
494. I don't play basketball anymore.Copy !req
495. "I don't play basketball anymore. "Copy !req
496. Maybe you're chicken.Copy !req
497. I say, I resemble that remark.Copy !req
498. You calling me chicken?Copy !req
499. Hey. Come here.Copy !req
500. Here you go. Take him.Copy !req
501. Watch the footwork. Can you believe it?Copy !req
502. Get out of the way.Copy !req
503. Hey, everybody. Look at your hero now.Copy !req
504. You guys are making a big mistake.Copy !req
505. You're all washed up, baldy.Copy !req
506. Baldy?Copy !req
507. He is not washed up.Copy !req
508. - Michael's the greatest ever.
- Shut up.Copy !req
509. Ooh.Copy !req
510. My poor little cranium.Copy !req
511. - You okay?
- Yeah, are you okay?Copy !req
512. Whoops.Copy !req
513. You're not scared of them,
are you, Michael?Copy !req
514. - Let's play some basketball.
Yeah.Copy !req
515. Yeah, serve her! Come on! Rebound!Copy !req
516. You're...
You're Charles Barkley.Copy !req
517. Girls. Come on over. Hurry up. Hurry.Copy !req
518. Look. It's Charles Barkley.Copy !req
519. Hey, can I play?Copy !req
520. You're not Charles Barkley.Copy !req
521. Just a wannabe who looks like him.Copy !req
522. Sorry. Break out.Copy !req
523. You shouldn't even be here. Be gone.Copy !req
524. Wannabe. Be gone.Copy !req
525. Just a few more tests, gentlemen.Copy !req
526. Electrolyte levels, glucose,
CBCs, RBCs, etcetera.Copy !req
527. And we've scheduled a 12-lead
stress test...Copy !req
528. ...and neurological battery
to include EEG, reflex tests...Copy !req
529. And this girl, 5-feet-nothing,
blocked my shot.Copy !req
530. When did you first start having
this dream?Copy !req
531. It wasn't a dream. It really happened.Copy !req
532. And it climbed up my back
and into my brain.Copy !req
533. Are there any other areas
besides basketball...Copy !req
534. ...where you find yourself
unable to perform?Copy !req
535. - No.
- Just asking.Copy !req
536. I've been MRl'd, EKG'd,
x- rayed, laser beamed...Copy !req
537. I promise I'll never swear again.Copy !req
538. I'll never get another technical.Copy !req
539. I'll never trash-talk.Copy !req
540. I've got other skills.Copy !req
541. - I could go back and work on the farm.
- Really?Copy !req
542. Or maybe I could go back to the jungle
and be a missionary again.Copy !req
543. What are you saying?
That I'm trying to disobey my mama?Copy !req
544. I didn't say that. You did, Muggsy.Copy !req
545. But I love my mama.Copy !req
546. Still can't find anything wrong with us.Copy !req
547. Hey, maybe nothing's wrong with us.Copy !req
548. That's right, Muggs.
Maybe it's just in our head.Copy !req
549. We're fine.
It's just some psychosomatic deal.Copy !req
550. Or something to do with the moon,
or the alignment of the planet.Copy !req
551. I'll never go out with Madonna again.Copy !req
552. What are you doing?Copy !req
553. - I'm, uh... I'm fixing a divot.
- Oh.Copy !req
554. He's fixing a divot!Copy !req
555. Has anyone here ever played basketball?Copy !req
556. Um, I have.Copy !req
557. I'd like to try out for the team.Copy !req
558. - Hey.
- Hi. My name is Lola Bunny.Copy !req
559. - Lola?
- Ha, ha. Yes.Copy !req
560. Hello. Eh, my name is Bugs.Copy !req
561. Ahem. You want to play a little
one-on-one, doll?Copy !req
562. - "Doll"?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
563. - On the court, Bugs.
- Sure.Copy !req
564. Ooh. She's hot.Copy !req
565. There she goes.Copy !req
566. - Ready?
- Yes.Copy !req
567. I got it. I got it.Copy !req
568. That girl's got some skills.Copy !req
569. Yes?Copy !req
570. Don't ever call me "doll. "Copy !req
571. Check.Copy !req
572. Hey, nice playing with you.Copy !req
573. Very smooth.Copy !req
574. Ah, she's obviously nuts about me.Copy !req
575. Obviously.Copy !req
576. Okay. Where's the ball?Copy !req
577. Let's do some drills.Copy !req
578. Can anyone lend me a pair of sneakers?Copy !req
579. Uh, sneakers?Copy !req
580. - Sorry.
- Someone has to go to my house...Copy !req
581. - ... and pick up my basketball gear.
- To your house?Copy !req
582. - In 3-D land?
Yeah.Copy !req
583. Whatever you do...Copy !req
584. ...don't forget my North Carolina shorts.Copy !req
585. Your shorts? From college?Copy !req
586. I wore them under my Chicago Bulls
uniform every game.Copy !req
587. Hey. I washed them after every game.Copy !req
588. - Yeah.
- Sure.Copy !req
589. - I did.
- Gross.Copy !req
590. The view back here stinks.Copy !req
591. Whoa.
What?Copy !req
592. We're right in front of Michael's house.Copy !req
593. I knew that.Copy !req
594. Shh. Okay, let's go in this way.Copy !req
595. I say, let's go in that way.Copy !req
596. He just never learns.Copy !req
597. Now, let me see.Copy !req
598. I must be very, very close.Copy !req
599. Mother.Copy !req
600. Nice digs.Copy !req
601. Well, well. I wonder who that could be.Copy !req
602. Twinkle, twinkle, little star.Copy !req
603. Shh. Everyone's sleeping.Copy !req
604. - I knew that.
- Come on, come on.Copy !req
605. We gotta find Michael's basketball stuff.Copy !req
606. Nope. Nothing in here.Copy !req
607. Nope. Ah, but a very nice dinette set.Copy !req
608. Uh-uh. Not here.Copy !req
609. Let's look upstairs.Copy !req
610. Yes, oh, fearless leader.Copy !req
611. So he needs his special underwear.Copy !req
612. Oh. Shh.Copy !req
613. Sorry.
You think she's got enough toys?Copy !req
614. Speaking of toys, you know all
those mugs and t-shirts and lunch boxes...Copy !req
615. - ... with our pictures on them?
- Yeah.Copy !req
616. You, uh, ever see any money
from all that stuff?Copy !req
617. Ha. Not a cent.
Hmm. Me neither.Copy !req
618. It's a crying shame.Copy !req
619. We gotta get new agents.
We're getting screwed.Copy !req
620. We have found the trophy room.Copy !req
621. Now spread out and search the place.Copy !req
622. Yes, sahib. Oh, brother.Copy !req
623. Here I am, in the peak of my form
playing second banana...Copy !req
624. - ... to some sort of a harebrain.
- Yap, yap, yap. Hmm.Copy !req
625. This could be useful. Aha.Copy !req
626. If this were a union job, I...Copy !req
627. That's very nice.Copy !req
628. Oh, one of his shoes.Copy !req
629. Where is that other shoe?Copy !req
630. Where are you?Copy !req
631. Eureka!Copy !req
632. Come to Papa.Copy !req
633. - Oops.
- What a fuzz-foot. You are so clumsy.Copy !req
634. - Catch, feather head.
- Thanks.Copy !req
635. - Well, time to go.
- Did we get everything?Copy !req
636. - The shorts.
- The shorts.Copy !req
637. In there?Copy !req
638. Okay, I'll check.Copy !req
639. I found the shorts.Copy !req
640. The pain.Copy !req
641. - I'm right behind you, pal.
- Uh, that's none too reassuring.Copy !req
642. Nice puppy. How's about a bone?Copy !req
643. - No dice.
- What about a nice holiday ham?Copy !req
644. - He ain't buying it. Can't we talk this over?
- Down, Beethoven.Copy !req
645. Ooh. The kids are here.Copy !req
646. Give it to me, Charles.Copy !req
647. - Here you go, Bugs.
- Thanks, kid.Copy !req
648. Shoo. Shoo.Copy !req
649. Bad dog. That is the last time
I'm ever working with dogs or children.Copy !req
650. - Bye-bye.
- Hey, where you going?Copy !req
651. Well, uh, you see, the Looney Tunes have
a big basketball game coming up...Copy !req
652. - ... and, uh, your dad's gonna play.
- All right.Copy !req
653. Yeah. But don't tell anybody.Copy !req
654. I see aliens.Copy !req
655. Little aliens from outer space.Copy !req
656. They forced their way inside your bodies.Copy !req
657. They need your talent
to win a basketball game against...Copy !req
658. - ... Bugs Bunny.
Bugs Bunny?Copy !req
659. I also see Michael Jordan
being sucked down a golf hole...Copy !req
660. ...by furry creatures.Copy !req
661. - That's it. We're out of here.
- We're leaving now.Copy !req
662. - Let's try some acupuncture.
- Good idea. Bye.Copy !req
663. This is it. This is it.Copy !req
664. I don't know where you are, Michael,
but wherever you are...Copy !req
665. ...you obviously enjoy being there
more than spending time with me.Copy !req
666. You better hope this Jordan character
still know how to play hoops.Copy !req
667. You and me both, brother.Copy !req
668. Listen, how is this for a new team name:Copy !req
669. - The Ducks.
Please.Copy !req
670. What kind of Mickey Mouse organization
would name their team the Ducks?Copy !req
671. So sue me. It's just a suggestion.Copy !req
672. You're doing it.Copy !req
673. You're becoming mighty.Copy !req
674. - Go!
Come on, guys. No pain, no gain.Copy !req
675. I don't hear it. What is it?Copy !req
676. Come on.
- Come on.Copy !req
677. - Eh, guys?
Yes?Copy !req
678. Look who's finally ready to play.Copy !req
679. Let's see if I remember how to do this.Copy !req
680. Nice.Copy !req
681. Michael!Copy !req
682. Is it really you? Oh!Copy !req
683. Thank God you're all right.
Oh! I was so worried.Copy !req
684. Come on, Stan. Don't hug me, please.Copy !req
685. - Sorry.
- What are you doing here?Copy !req
686. I gotta take you back.
You got baseball practice.Copy !req
687. I can't. I'm helping my friends
in their basketball game.Copy !req
688. Michael, you know that your friends
are cartoon characters?Copy !req
689. Yeah. So?Copy !req
690. Doesn't bother you, it doesn't bother me.
Let me help. Let me help. I can help.Copy !req
691. - What can you do?
- Well, you know, I mean...Copy !req
692. ...I may not be very tall, but I'm slow.Copy !req
693. - And large.
- And a dork.Copy !req
694. I'll do anything, Michael. Anything.Copy !req
695. - Anything?
- Anything.Copy !req
696. Come here. Come here for a second.Copy !req
697. - Sit right here.
- Okay.Copy !req
698. - Okay?
- Okay. No problem.Copy !req
699. All right. All right, let's go, team.Copy !req
700. If somebody gets injured,
we could see a lot of minutes.Copy !req
701. I'm a cheerleader.Copy !req
702. Mr. Commissioner,
we've got the place sealed off.Copy !req
703. Quiet!
Ladies and gentlemen, please, quiet!Copy !req
704. Listen. After meeting with team owners,
I have decided...Copy !req
705. ...that until we can guarantee the health
and safety of our NBA players...Copy !req
706. ...there will be no more basketball
this season.Copy !req
707. Yes.Copy !req
708. Just get out of my way.Copy !req
709. - Ready?
Yes!Copy !req
710. Let's go.Copy !req
711. Are these the best seats?Copy !req
712. Like them. Yes.Copy !req
713. Can see everything from here.
Very good.Copy !req
714. - Ready to go?
- Yeah, yeah, sure, sure. Riot.Copy !req
715. Ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
716. ...the starting lineup for the Tune Squad.Copy !req
717. Standing 2-foot-4,
The Wonder From Down Under...Copy !req
718. ...the Tazmanian Devil.Copy !req
719. At small forward,
standing a scintillating 3-foot-2...Copy !req
720. ...The Heartthrob of the Hoops,
Lola Bunny.Copy !req
721. At power forward,
The Quackster of the Courts, Daffy Duck.Copy !req
722. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
723. Very funny. Let's all laugh at the duck.Copy !req
724. And at point guard, standing 3-foot-3,
4 feet if you include the ears...Copy !req
725. ...co-captain of the Tune Squad...Copy !req
726. ...The Doctor of Delight, Bugs Bunny.Copy !req
727. Thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
728. And now,
the player-coach of the Tune Squad...Copy !req
729. ...at 6-foot-6, from North Carolina...Copy !req
730. ...His Royal Airness, Michael Jordan.Copy !req
731. Who? Is he a Looney Tune?Copy !req
732. Uh... Uh, well, perhaps.Copy !req
733. - You guys ready?
- I'm set to take it to the rack, Jack.Copy !req
734. Those Monstars
will wish they'd never been born.Copy !req
735. - Guys, let's just go out and have fun.
Yeah!Copy !req
736. The challengers for the Ultimate Game...Copy !req
737. ...all the way from Moron Mountain:Copy !req
738. The Monstars.Copy !req
739. Go Monstars! Go Monstars!
Go Monstars!Copy !req
740. What are you looking at?Copy !req
741. Cool shoes.Copy !req
742. Uh...Copy !req
743. Ready?Copy !req
744. I got it, I got it, I got it.
I got the ball. I got the ball.Copy !req
745. Yipe!Copy !req
746. Ooh.Copy !req
747. Way to go, boys.
Did you see the moves on that one?Copy !req
748. Come on, show me something.
Come on, show me something.Copy !req
749. - Whoops.
- The duck.Copy !req
750. Yeah, beat up on the duck.Copy !req
751. Oh, my.Copy !req
752. She was wide open.Copy !req
753. Watch it, coming your way.
Watch out, watch out.Copy !req
754. Get him.Copy !req
755. How did he do that?Copy !req
756. - Nice shot, Mr. J.
- Hey, hey, come on. Get back on defense.Copy !req
757. Way to go!Copy !req
758. Air J! Air J!Copy !req
759. Red light.Copy !req
760. - Feed me. Feed me.
- Feed you? Feed me.Copy !req
761. - Bad old putty tat.
I'll take that, thank you.Copy !req
762. Don't try this at home.Copy !req
763. I wish I was in the land of cott...Copy !req
764. You going somewhere?Copy !req
765. May I remind you, sir, that physical
violence is patently against the rules.Copy !req
766. Yeow! Did you order Original Recipe
or Extra Crispy?Copy !req
767. - Let's go.
- Me?Copy !req
768. - Oh, boy. I'm ready. I can do this.
- The mouse? You picked the mouse?Copy !req
769. - I love basketball. I always have. Do you?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
770. - You're big. I bet you're good.
- Right.Copy !req
771. I'm small, but I'll try hard to be good.Copy !req
772. - Okay. Yeah.
- Really, I will. I always try hard.Copy !req
773. My mom says,
"Try your best at everything you do... "Copy !req
774. Oh!Copy !req
775. Try to get by me, doll.Copy !req
776. "Doll"?Copy !req
777. Don't ever call me "doll. "Copy !req
778. - Nice shot.
- Thanks, Bugs.Copy !req
779. Hmm?Copy !req
780. Where's the defense, boy?
I got you right here.Copy !req
781. 911.Copy !req
782. Piece of pie? Pork chop?
Some sorbet, perhaps?Copy !req
783. Half-time.Copy !req
784. Holy putty tat.Copy !req
785. Yeah, man, we got it going on.
One more half.Copy !req
786. Right, man. We got them.Copy !req
787. Moron Mountain, here we come.Copy !req
788. We're gonna be slaves.Copy !req
789. Come on, guys, keep your head up.
Got a whole other half to play.Copy !req
790. It's the boss.Copy !req
791. Hello, Mr. Swackhammer.Copy !req
792. All right.Copy !req
793. Not bad for the first half,
but we gotta keep this up.Copy !req
794. No problem. We stole...Copy !req
795. We stole talent from the best players
in the NBA.Copy !req
796. From the NBA.Copy !req
797. Shut up.Copy !req
798. I smell something.Copy !req
799. Uh, we have been playing really hard.Copy !req
800. - Yeah.
- Not you, you idiot.Copy !req
801. It's coming from over here.Copy !req
802. That locker.Copy !req
803. - Look.
- Aah!Copy !req
804. - It's the chubby boy.
- Ah.Copy !req
805. It smells like a spy.Copy !req
806. You guys need a publicist?
I can make you big. Ha, ha.Copy !req
807. - I know we're down.
Yeah. Let's hear the story.Copy !req
808. But I've been in this situation
many times before.Copy !req
809. We can still win this thing.
It's not over with. We gotta come together.Copy !req
810. We gotta believe in ourselves.
We can win this game.Copy !req
811. Yeah, right. That's gonna help us.Copy !req
812. Looks like Stan just had
a close encounter with a bug-zapper.Copy !req
813. Monstars. The Monstars.Copy !req
814. Ooh. That's gotta hurt.
- You all right, Stan?Copy !req
815. The Monst...Copy !req
816. The Monstars stole the talent
from the NBA players.Copy !req
817. So that's what happened to those guys.Copy !req
818. I think we should qui... Forfeit.Copy !req
819. Yeah.
- I didn't get dragged down here...Copy !req
820. ...just to get my butt whipped
by a bunch of ugly Monstars.Copy !req
821. I ain't going out like that.
We're letting them push us around.Copy !req
822. We gotta fight them back. We gotta take it
to them. We gotta get right in their faces.Copy !req
823. What do you say?Copy !req
824. Are you with me or not?Copy !req
825. Finished? Great speech and all, doc.
You had them riveted.Copy !req
826. - But, uh, didn't you forget something?
- What?Copy !req
827. Your secret stuff.Copy !req
828. Wow.Copy !req
829. Whoa, nice deltoids.Copy !req
830. Play along.Copy !req
831. Uh, stop hogging it, Mike.
We're your teammates.Copy !req
832. Secret stuff?Copy !req
833. Secret stuff?
- You wouldn't hold out on us, would you?Copy !req
834. No, I mean,
I didn't think you guys really needed it.Copy !req
835. I mean, you're so tough.
You're competitive.Copy !req
836. We're also chicken, son. We need it bad.
- Hey.Copy !req
837. - Uh, I'd like some of that.
Could I have a sip, please?Copy !req
838. You know, this goes against everything
they taught me in health class.Copy !req
839. Do you want to win or not?Copy !req
840. Bottoms up.Copy !req
841. - Yummy.
- All right.Copy !req
842. How about we go out
and kick some alien butt, huh? Let's go.Copy !req
843. - How about it? Ready?
Yeah!Copy !req
844. Coming through.Copy !req
845. Bugs.Copy !req
846. Special delivery.Copy !req
847. Boo!Copy !req
848. Eh, nice kaboom, Wile E.Copy !req
849. Let's teach them a lesson.Copy !req
850. Nice butt.Copy !req
851. Going up.
You're mine, fool.Copy !req
852. Slammy.Copy !req
853. Hello.
A little surprise for you, my friends.Copy !req
854. Two points.Copy !req
855. Ooh. This will be good.Copy !req
856. - Okay, birdie.
- Uh-oh.Copy !req
857. Yes!
- Time out!Copy !req
858. Shut up, you little bug.
Get away from me. Powwow.Copy !req
859. All right. We're right back in this game.
Come on, now. Let's play tough defense.Copy !req
860. Why didn't you get this guy?Copy !req
861. He's a baseball player.
- Yeah, boss, a baseball player.Copy !req
862. Looks like a basketball player to me.Copy !req
863. Yeah, me too.Copy !req
864. - He's the one I want for Moron Mountain.
- Hey.Copy !req
865. Are you talking to me?Copy !req
866. Yeah, I'm talking to you.
You want a piece of me? Come and get it.Copy !req
867. Uh-oh.Copy !req
868. What did you have in mind?Copy !req
869. hat about we raise the stakes
a little bit?Copy !req
870. Hmm.Copy !req
871. Interesting.Copy !req
872. If we win, you give the NBA
players their talent back.Copy !req
873. But what if we win?Copy !req
874. - If you win?
- Uh-huh.Copy !req
875. You get me.Copy !req
876. Good deal, boss.Copy !req
877. Doc, you think that's a good ide...?Copy !req
878. You'll be our star attraction.Copy !req
879. You'll sign autographs all day long.Copy !req
880. And play one-on-one
with the paying customers.Copy !req
881. And you'll always lose.Copy !req
882. Do we have a deal?Copy !req
883. Deal.Copy !req
884. All right.Copy !req
885. I don't think you should have
done that, doc.Copy !req
886. I have faith in my team.Copy !req
887. Crush them.Copy !req
888. Feeding time, boys.Copy !req
889. Goodbye.Copy !req
890. Fore.Copy !req
891. But, Mommy,
I don't want to go to school today.Copy !req
892. I want to stay home
and bake cookies with you.Copy !req
893. I'm open, I'm open.
- Lola, Lola, heads up.Copy !req
894. Oh!
Belly flop.Copy !req
895. Oh, my. Bugs!Copy !req
896. - Bugs!
- Is this your man?Copy !req
897. Are you okay?Copy !req
898. Me? Oh, yeah. I'm fine.Copy !req
899. Are you okay?Copy !req
900. Oh, Bugs. Thank you.Copy !req
901. Aw, it was nothing.Copy !req
902. That was the nicest thing anyone's
ever done for me.Copy !req
903. Time out.Copy !req
904. I could have been a contender.Copy !req
905. The Monstars. The Monstars.Copy !req
906. I could have had a...
- Clear!Copy !req
907. Okay.Copy !req
908. - We need a fifth player.
- Hey, coach, listen.Copy !req
909. You got any more secret stuff?
I think it's starting to wear off.Copy !req
910. It didn't wear off. It was just water.Copy !req
911. You guys had the special stuff
inside of you all along.Copy !req
912. Yeah, yeah, I knew that.
But listen, you got any more?Copy !req
913. I'll take some.
Yeah, uh, can I have some too?Copy !req
914. - Stan?
- Me?Copy !req
915. You're in at center.Copy !req
916. Just guard the big guy, okay?Copy !req
917. Guard him? Guard him? I'll smother him.Copy !req
918. I'll be all over him like a cheap suit.
I'll be on him like stink on rice.Copy !req
919. I tell you, he's going down.Copy !req
920. Michael, over here. Over here.
Over here, I'm open.Copy !req
921. Yes!Copy !req
922. Ha, ha. Nice sho...!Copy !req
923. Big man pancake.Copy !req
924. Ooh.Copy !req
925. Let's get him out of here.Copy !req
926. Eew.Copy !req
927. Oh, my.Copy !req
928. How'd he do that?Copy !req
929. Aw, anybody could do that, doc.
Even you.Copy !req
930. Watch this.Copy !req
931. No sweat. This is Looney Tune Land.Copy !req
932. Ten seconds to go?
Thanks for telling me, doc.Copy !req
933. I hate to be the bearer of bad news,
Your Airness...Copy !req
934. ...but if you don't find a fifth player,
your team will forfeit the game.Copy !req
935. - Forfeit?
- Precisely, Sir Altitude.Copy !req
936. No way. We'll find someone.Copy !req
937. Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
938. I didn't know Dan Aykroyd
was in this picture.Copy !req
939. Hey.Copy !req
940. Perhaps I could be of some assistance.Copy !req
941. That's our fifth guy.Copy !req
942. Thanks, Bill.
Now you get to live your dream. Let's go.Copy !req
943. - All right.
- All right.Copy !req
944. - We need to score two points...
- Here's how I see it.Copy !req
945. - Duck.
- Yes.Copy !req
946. - Kick it to the girl bunny down in the post.
Yeah?Copy !req
947. - You dish it back to the guy bunny.
- Got it.Copy !req
948. - You swing it to Mike. You go to the hole.
- Bill.Copy !req
949. - And dominate.
- We're on defense.Copy !req
950. - Oh, yeah.
- Whoa. I don't play defense.Copy !req
951. - Typical.
- Gonna have to listen to Mike on this.Copy !req
952. Okay. Somebody steal the ball, get it to me
and I'll score before the time runs out.Copy !req
953. Don't lose that confidence. Okay.Copy !req
954. - Paws and wings in here. Okay.
Yes!Copy !req
955. This is why I was born.Copy !req
956. I thrive on pressure.Copy !req
957. - Excuse me, uh, sorry.
- Yo, yo, easy on the trousers, Daf. Easy.Copy !req
958. Pardon me. Mr. Murray,
something's really been bugging me.Copy !req
959. - Yeah?
- Just how did you get here anyway?Copy !req
960. Producer's a friend of mine.
Just had a teamster come and drop me off.Copy !req
961. Uh-huh.Copy !req
962. Well, that's how it goes.Copy !req
963. Hey, you see this, uh, kind of chunky
fellow over here?Copy !req
964. Uh-huh.Copy !req
965. - Oh. Oh, that's good. Oh, yes.
- Let's do it. You the duck.Copy !req
966. Now, let's all play fair. Here.Copy !req
967. Yo, spaceman. Don't choke now.
Come on.Copy !req
968. It's gut-check time.Copy !req
969. This must be mine. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
970. This belongs to me.
I'm going this way. I'm going left.Copy !req
971. Whoa! Don't ever trust an Earthling.Copy !req
972. Mike!Copy !req
973. Get the rabbit. Get the girl.Copy !req
974. Come on, come on. I'm open.Copy !req
975. I'm op...!Copy !req
976. - That's mine.
- Not today.Copy !req
977. Hey.
Bring it on, dude.Copy !req
978. Whoopsie-daisy.Copy !req
979. You're mine.Copy !req
980. Mike, I'm open!Copy !req
981. Never mind.Copy !req
982. The Tunes win!Copy !req
983. That was a nice pass, man.Copy !req
984. That was a great stretch
for the basket too.Copy !req
985. You know, you really got some skills.
You might be able to play in the NBA.Copy !req
986. Thanks, Mike.
I'll probably quote you on that.Copy !req
987. But I'm gonna take this opportunity
to retire from the game.Copy !req
988. - No, come on.
- No.Copy !req
989. No, I'm gonna retire right now.
That's all there is to it.Copy !req
990. I'm gonna go out on top,
undefeated and untied.Copy !req
991. That's the way it's gonna be.Copy !req
992. - You go celebrate with your team.
- Come help us, man.Copy !req
993. I'd like to, but I have to ice down my knees
right away, okay? They're starting to go.Copy !req
994. - All right. Goodbye, man.
- All right, see you.Copy !req
995. - Are you sure?
- Yes. Definitely sure. Definitely.Copy !req
996. - Losers.
Sorry.Copy !req
997. - Choke artists.
- Sorry again.Copy !req
998. Wait till I get you back
on Moron Mountain.Copy !req
999. All right. The party's over.
Get in the spaceship.Copy !req
1000. Why do you take it from this guy?Copy !req
1001. Because he's bigger.Copy !req
1002. He's bigger?Copy !req
1003. Than we used to be.Copy !req
1004. What are you doing?Copy !req
1005. - Wait. What are you doing? Wait.
Come here.Copy !req
1006. Had it in you all the time, didn't you?Copy !req
1007. One thing, though.
Pass me the ball, Bugs.Copy !req
1008. You gotta give my friends
their talent back.Copy !req
1009. Do we have to?Copy !req
1010. Yeah, it's part of the deal.
Touch the ball.Copy !req
1011. Oh, okay.Copy !req
1012. Fair is fair.
- There you go. Touch it.Copy !req
1013. That was so much fun.Copy !req
1014. I feel so insignificant.Copy !req
1015. My clothes don't fit.Copy !req
1016. - What a trip.
- Ha, ha. I'm up for another one.Copy !req
1017. Can we ask you a favor, Mr. Bunny?Copy !req
1018. We don't want to go back
to Moron Mountain.Copy !req
1019. - We hate it up there.
- It stinks.Copy !req
1020. Um, I was thinking,
could we stay here with you?Copy !req
1021. Please.Copy !req
1022. Oh, brother.Copy !req
1023. Eh, I don't know if you guys
are looney enough.Copy !req
1024. Looney enough?Copy !req
1025. Michael, do you know what time it is?Copy !req
1026. Seven-fift... Seven-fift... Quarter past 7.Copy !req
1027. Exactly. You've got a baseball game
in five minutes.Copy !req
1028. Okay. Take this.Copy !req
1029. - Is it safe?
- Yeah, put it in my bag.Copy !req
1030. Okay. Let's go.Copy !req
1031. I really enjoyed playing with you guys.Copy !req
1032. You guys got a lot of, uh...Copy !req
1033. - A lot of, uh...
Yes?Copy !req
1034. Well, whatever it is, you got a lot of it.Copy !req
1035. All right. Gotta go.Copy !req
1036. - Bugs.
- Eh, Mike.Copy !req
1037. - Stay out of trouble.
- You know I will.Copy !req
1038. Come here.Copy !req
1039. Woo-hoo!Copy !req
1040. We want Michael! We want Michael!Copy !req
1041. The delay is killing us. Where's Michael?Copy !req
1042. Where is Michael?Copy !req
1043. Oh, he's not back from his other game.Copy !req
1044. - What other game?
- Shh.Copy !req
1045. Uh-uh. What other game?Copy !req
1046. Ladies and gentlemen...Copy !req
1047. ...Michael Jordan.Copy !req
1048. Guys, we suck.Copy !req
1049. Yeah, man.
My grandmother plays better than I do.Copy !req
1050. At least you guys are still tall.
I'm nothing now. Just another short guy.Copy !req
1051. - You got that right.
- That's the only thing you got right.Copy !req
1052. - Who's that?
- Who's that?Copy !req
1053. I don't know.
- Been getting your butts kicked?Copy !req
1054. Who's that?
- It's Mike.Copy !req
1055. - What's up?
- Why are you here?Copy !req
1056. Don't be embarrassed. Just face it.Copy !req
1057. You guys stink.Copy !req
1058. - Come on, Mike. Lighten up.
- I know, man.Copy !req
1059. You want your games back, huh?
What little games you had to begin with.Copy !req
1060. - It's hard enough as it is, Mike.
- Give us a break.Copy !req
1061. I'm gonna regret this.Copy !req
1062. Stan, give me the ball.Copy !req
1063. Oh.Copy !req
1064. Look at that.Copy !req
1065. Looks like something from Star Trek.Copy !req
1066. - Touch it.
- No way, Jose.Copy !req
1067. Pat, you want your talent back?
You don't have any choice. Just touch it.Copy !req
1068. - I don't know.
- Don't touch it.Copy !req
1069. You're gonna walk around with a bad game
for the rest of your career.Copy !req
1070. Touch the ball.Copy !req
1071. Careful, Pat.Copy !req
1072. We've tried everything else.Copy !req
1073. Come on, Charles. Touch it.Copy !req
1074. The rest of you guys. Just touch it.Copy !req
1075. - What was that?
- I liked that, Mike.Copy !req
1076. Hey, I caught it.Copy !req
1077. Look at Muggsy handle the rock.
Handle it, baby.Copy !req
1078. - I can handle that rock again.
That's the old Muggs I know.Copy !req
1079. Yeah, get height now.Copy !req
1080. It gave me my powers back.Copy !req
1081. That wasn't bad.
Let me show you something.Copy !req
1082. - The Round Mound is back.
- Want to see something?Copy !req
1083. Oh, man. That felt good.Copy !req
1084. I got it.
You got it. Yeah, baby.Copy !req
1085. Hey, Michael. Why don't you stay,
play some three-on-three with us?Copy !req
1086. No, I don't think so.Copy !req
1087. You gonna work on that baseball swing?Copy !req
1088. Leave the baseball player alone.
He doesn't play basketball anymore.Copy !req
1089. He probably doesn't even
have it anymore, guys.Copy !req
1090. Michael, do you hear them?Copy !req
1091. They don't think
you can play the game anymore.Copy !req
1092. There's only one way to find out.Copy !req
1093. The Chicago Bulls welcome back...Copy !req
1094. ...Michael Jordan!Copy !req
1095. What's the matter, Bill?Copy !req
1096. Larry, that could have been me.Copy !req
1097. Will you get off that kick?
It's over. It's done with. You can't play.Copy !req
1098. Okay.Copy !req
1099. Let's go, Bulls.Copy !req
1100. Well, that's all, folks.Copy !req
1101. That's my line.Copy !req
1102. Step aside, babe. Let a star do this.Copy !req
1103. That's all...Copy !req
1104. That's all, folks.Copy !req
1105. Can I go home now?Copy !req