1. Since the dawn of time,
space flight has been a dream.Copy !req
2. The rocket made
it a reality.Copy !req
3. But before man braved
that first giant step...Copy !req
4. the brave stepped into the rocket...Copy !req
5. and the brave were chimps.Copy !req
6. Ham 1 was the first American
to boldly go...Copy !req
7. where no man, or chimp,
had gone before.Copy !req
8. And tonight his brave legacy lives on.Copy !req
9. Introducing Ham the Third...Copy !req
10. Ham's one and only grandson.Copy !req
11. Thank you. Thank you.
No autographs. No flash photos.Copy !req
12. - Okay, fine. Photos. I'll sign that later.Copy !req
13. Ladies and gentlemen, strap yourselves in
as we embark on a mission to the stars!Copy !req
14. Space, stars, blah, blah, blah.Copy !req
15. - Enough with the lecture. Let's get to the action.
- Aim high, buckle up.Copy !req
16. Chin down, opposable thumbs in.Copy !req
17. When you gonna stop worrying about me,
Houston? Space is in my veins.Copy !req
18. - And between your ears.
- It's showtime!Copy !req
19. Here we go! Come on!
Let's make some noise!Copy !req
20. Let's tear the roof off of this tent.
We're gonna go bananas!Copy !req
21. Hup! Hey! Hoop!
Prepare to be amaze-ified.Copy !req
22. - Let's light this candle.
- Say it with me.Copy !req
23. - T-minus three-
- Three, two, one!Copy !req
24. Blast off!Copy !req
25. Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
26. Ladies.Copy !req
27. And back again.Copy !req
28. I'm so excited. I just can't hide it!Copy !req
29. Keep your eye on the landing pad.Copy !req
30. No monkey business.Copy !req
31. Stay on target, hotshot.Copy !req
32. Big finale comin' up. Hoo-hoo!Copy !req
33. And a flipsy...Copy !req
34. and a dipsy and a do.Copy !req
35. Whoo-hoo! Whoa!
Whoa, whoa. Whoa!Copy !req
36. - Oh, Lord.
- Whoa!Copy !req
37. Whoa. Whoa, whoa. Whoa!Copy !req
38. This is not good! Oh!Copy !req
39. Oh! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
40. He's always showboatin'.Copy !req
41. Ta-da!Copy !req
42. It's all good, folks!
That's why I put the helmet on the monkey.Copy !req
43. The Infinity
probe successfully advancing past lunar orbit.Copy !req
44. Unmanned and remote-controlled.Copy !req
45. Search for life.Copy !req
46. Detecting unidentified space anomaly.Copy !req
47. Warning. System malfunction.Copy !req
48. System malfunction.Copy !req
49. - It's so pretty!
- Ha!Copy !req
50. Come here, little fluttereye.Copy !req
51. - Oh, no!
- Zartog!Copy !req
52. Can't you brats read?
Keep away from my house!Copy !req
53. - Oy.
- Hmm.Copy !req
54. You monster!Copy !req
55. If I could catch you punks,
I'd dunk you in the Freznar too!Copy !req
56. No wonder why
everyone in town hates you!Copy !req
57. Just the way I like it. Huh?Copy !req
58. Whoa! Look! It's coming closer!Copy !req
59. It's a sky beast!Copy !req
60. Crudlar.Copy !req
61. A gift from the sky.Copy !req
62. Hey!Copy !req
63. Huh?Copy !req
64. I am the Infinity probe
from the planet Earth.Copy !req
65. We will now perform a full-body examination
for purely scientific purposes.Copy !req
66. Oh.Copy !req
67. Since the dawn of time,
man's indomitable spirit...Copy !req
68. has led to great achievements
in culture and civilization.Copy !req
69. He's created wonders in architecture,
art, music, engineering.Copy !req
70. But man isn't all work.
He likes to play too!Copy !req
71. I want to live like them.Copy !req
72. - System control interface operational.
- Huh?Copy !req
73. Manual override engaging.Copy !req
74. Help me!Copy !req
75. - Aha!
- Huh?Copy !req
76. A new day has come,
and that day is Zartog!Copy !req
77. The simian program started in the 1960s.Copy !req
78. And these chimpanzees are like
the ones used in the first space missions.Copy !req
79. - When do they go in space?
- Well, they don't.Copy !req
80. They're just exhibits of the past.Copy !req
81. Hey, what's up, Comet?Copy !req
82. I don't know, but something big!Copy !req
83. What do you mean "lost"?Copy !req
84. Senator,
the Infinity was drawn off course...Copy !req
85. by a magnetic attraction from a dimensional
anomaly in the time-space continuum.Copy !req
86. - In English.
- It was sucked into a wormhole.Copy !req
87. My constituents care about potholes,
not wormholes.Copy !req
88. Do you know how many potholes
we can fix for five billion dollars?Copy !req
89. - Area of the pothole.
- The power of three.Copy !req
90. - Multiplied by four.
- Cosine.Copy !req
91. - Multiplied by seven.
- Carry the two-Copy !req
92. 50.6 million!Copy !req
93. - Depending on fluctuations in asphalt-
- Labor costs-Copy !req
94. - And overtime.
- It was a rhetorical question, brainiacs.Copy !req
95. Our data indicates the Infinity's
emerged on the far side of the universe.Copy !req
96. As you can see from this image...Copy !req
97. the Infinity has landed on a planet
in a crater filled with H20.Copy !req
98. - It means water.
- I know what it means.Copy !req
99. Senator, if the atmosphere is viable,
the planet could sustain life.Copy !req
100. Maybe even an NFL expansion team.Copy !req
101. This could prove
what we suspected all along.Copy !req
102. We are not alone.Copy !req
103. Just think what a mission
could do for science.Copy !req
104. Not to mention T-shirt sales.Copy !req
105. Political gold.
I want astronauts over there pronto.Copy !req
106. Not gonna happen.
Too risky for humans.Copy !req
107. We don't have a clue how the wormhole
will affect living tissue.Copy !req
108. It could transmogrify the D.N.A.,
causing blindness.Copy !req
109. - Heart failure.
- Most likely, death.Copy !req
110. Gripping.Copy !req
111. Comet, what are you doing?Copy !req
112. Getting us a mission.Copy !req
113. - We could send the chimps.
- Chimps? Chimps.Copy !req
114. Hmm. Not humans, but not horrible.
Show me what you got.Copy !req
115. Guys, we got a mission.Copy !req
116. Senator, Titan, Luna and Comet
are fully prepared for the mission.Copy !req
117. They have been training for this
their whole lives.Copy !req
118. Training, shmaining. These chimps are boring!Copy !req
119. They're... chimp nerds.Copy !req
120. Uh, technically, there's no such thing
as nerds in the simian world.Copy !req
121. I know a nerd when I see one.Copy !req
122. - Do you think he means we're nerds?
- No, no. We're super cool.Copy !req
123. What this mission needs is some P.R.,
some sizzle to grab the media's attention.Copy !req
124. It needs a chimp with the right stuff.Copy !req
125. It needs someone like... him!Copy !req
126. A real hero, with dignity and nobility.Copy !req
127. He's been dead for 30 years.Copy !req
128. But he does have a grandson.Copy !req
129. Ta-da!Copy !req
130. Ahh! Oh, ho-ho-ho!
Houston, no! Ooh!Copy !req
131. Oh! Thumb pain. Aah!Copy !req
132. - When I promised your grandpa I'd look after ya-
- Ooh! Ow!Copy !req
133. I never thought I'd be playin' pick-up sticks
with monkey bones night after night.Copy !req
134. What can I say?
I'm an envelope pusher.Copy !req
135. - I can't do anything halfway.
- Yeah?Copy !req
136. Well, you keep showboatin',
and you'll be halfway to the taxidermist.Copy !req
137. No, no, you can't take him!
He belongs to me.Copy !req
138. Official government business:
eminent domain, national security...Copy !req
139. a lot of other scary black helicopter stuff
you don't wanna mess with.Copy !req
140. Ooh. He's older than I expected.Copy !req
141. Well, you ain't no spring chicken either.Copy !req
142. - And you're lookin' for-
- Oh, he's so cute!Copy !req
143. Yeah, I'm a hottie.Copy !req
144. I am Dr. Smothers, and you are going
into space just like grandfather.Copy !req
145. Space?
Wrong answer.Copy !req
146. You got the wrong Ham, Doctor. Okay.
Bye, space lady who's attracted to me.Copy !req
147. - Hey!
- Good to see ya. Take care.Copy !req
148. - Don't let the door hit ya on the-
- Well, uh-Copy !req
149. He seems very excited to go.Copy !req
150. Kid, you're throwin' away
the only shot you got.Copy !req
151. This is a chance to make good,
live up to your legacy.Copy !req
152. Hey, I'm the star of my show, not just
the warm-up act for some human astronaut.Copy !req
153. Your grandfather
wasn't some warm-up act.Copy !req
154. He was a NASA astronaut.Copy !req
155. Got his face on magazines,
newspapers, television.Copy !req
156. - He even met the president.
- I met the chief of police once.Copy !req
157. Ham!
He did somethin' to be proud of.Copy !req
158. Had a dream and went for it.Copy !req
159. - You got dreams?
- I'm living my dream.Copy !req
160. Whoa!Copy !req
161. Uh, Houston? We have a problem.Copy !req
162. Thanks for supporting your government.Copy !req
163. Under threat of prosecution!Copy !req
164. I- I'm- I'm gonna
need that trailer back.Copy !req
165. - Huh.
- Well, looks like we're gonna
need a new cannonball.Copy !req
166. You like to travel?Copy !req
167. - Here he comes.
- Stand proud.Copy !req
168. I can't believe it. We'll be flying
with the grandson of the great Ham.Copy !req
169. You sure they said "grandson"?Copy !req
170. - Whoa! I know my rights.
I'm calling the A.S.P.C. A!
- Huh?Copy !req
171. I demand to talk to my ringmaster!
Help! I've been kidnapped!Copy !req
172. Oh, he's clearly excited
to be in a new environment.Copy !req
173. Oh, God!Copy !req
174. Good glass. Ow!Copy !req
175. Commander Titan,
navigation and coordinates.Copy !req
176. Ham. Don't and care.Copy !req
177. Lieutenant Luna.
It's an honor, sir.Copy !req
178. - Mmm-mmm-mmm.
- Yeah. Oh, my.Copy !req
179. Hello, lady chimp.
Do not mind if I "dooble."Copy !req
180. Luna means moon in Latin.Copy !req
181. That's right, sir.Copy !req
182. - What do ya know? Two lovers of language.
- Name's Comet.Copy !req
183. Computers and electronics.
I look forward to serving with you.Copy !req
184. Sorry, kid, but I gotta play Poughkeepsie
on Saturday. Let's go, Houston!Copy !req
185. Sir, with all due respect,
you've been selected for a mission...Copy !req
186. of historical significance
in the noble pursuit of-Copy !req
187. Land of the free, home of the brave.
Yada, yada, yada.Copy !req
188. Listen, the only mission I have
is to entertain. Watch and learn.Copy !req
189. - Abracadabble.
- Oh, cool!Copy !req
190. Oh, perfect. He's a joke.Copy !req
191. Anyway, best of luck, break a leg,
blast off-Whatever it is you say.Copy !req
192. But I gotta bounce.Copy !req
193. What are those?Copy !req
194. Rocket packs. We'll be demonstrating them
to the press Saturday morning.Copy !req
195. My ticket home.Copy !req
196. Quake with fear!
Lord Zartog is here.Copy !req
197. Ho!Copy !req
198. By now, you are all aware
of the insane power...Copy !req
199. I command with my big, shiny
driving machine whatchamathingie.Copy !req
200. Are there any among you
who oppose my rule?Copy !req
201. Ah, wait.Copy !req
202. So you're saying you're in charge
because that thing landed on your hut?Copy !req
203. Yes, and if you don't obey me,
I will dunk you in the Freznar.Copy !req
204. You wouldn't do that
'cause I'd be frozen forever.Copy !req
205. - Exactly!
- Not the Freznar!Copy !req
206. Cold!Copy !req
207. Anyone else fancy a dip?Copy !req
208. Good.Copy !req
209. All of you, get to work!Copy !req
210. Let's get this party started.Copy !req
211. The Infinity recorded 10 G's
through the wormhole.Copy !req
212. If the chimps' internal structure
cannot withstand the pressure...Copy !req
213. they will explode like a mouse in a microwave...Copy !req
214. frying their brains
and splattering their guts.Copy !req
215. Your teeth look amazing!Copy !req
216. Here comes five G's.
Here comes six G's.Copy !req
217. This thing is going so fast, right?Copy !req
218. Yoo-hoo!Copy !req
219. Seven G's. Eight G's.Copy !req
220. This might be a weird time to ask...Copy !req
221. but will you help me
move next week?Copy !req
222. It's not even that much stuff.
We'll make a day of it!Copy !req
223. Hey, that was fun.Copy !req
224. - You guys got a log ride?
- My turn.Copy !req
225. - Oh, poor little Comet.
He thinks he's going into space.Copy !req
226. Three chairs, three chimps.Copy !req
227. Gee, where we heading for lunch?Copy !req
228. I'm not eating trans fats anymore.
Well, that went well.Copy !req
229. We'll need you here, Comet. Our eyes and ears.Copy !req
230. Hey, kid.Copy !req
231. Did I ever tell you the story of the short-circuiting
posigrades in the first Mercury rockets?Copy !req
232. That was you?Copy !req
233. It was the day Ham's grandpa
and I coined the term...Copy !req
234. "So easy a human could do it."Copy !req
235. Oh, I don't know
what makes me happier-Copy !req
236. Einstein's unified field theory...Copy !req
237. or watching monkeys on a treadmill.Copy !req
238. What?Copy !req
239. And to think, I almost dropped out of Harvard
to start a software company.Copy !req
240. Who's laughing now, Bill Gates?Copy !req
241. Memorizing sequences is a vital test
of the chimps' brain capacity.Copy !req
242. You guys into sweet jams?Copy !req
243. When are you gonna
straighten up and fly right?Copy !req
244. - Saturday, about 10:00 a.m.
- Ham!Copy !req
245. I made these radios for the voyage. I think
they might work through the wormhole.Copy !req
246. - Huh. You made these?
- Well, I'm good with machines.Copy !req
247. Listen, kid, thanks for the Bananaberry,
but I won't be needing it.Copy !req
248. Comet, I'll take the radio.Copy !req
249. Uh- Hey, kid.Copy !req
250. Special-edition simian space shades.Copy !req
251. Wow! Thanks!Copy !req
252. Sweet!Copy !req
253. My fellow citizens, this mission
will travel clear across the cosmos...Copy !req
254. where we hope to finally answer
the age-old question:Copy !req
255. "Is there intelligent life out there?"Copy !req
256. Review rocket controls.Copy !req
257. Right thumb go, left thumb stop.
Up is right, down is left.Copy !req
258. - You got that?
- Yeah, yeah. Right thumb go, left thumb stop.Copy !req
259. Now you're seein' it, now you're not.
Boop, boop. Where'd it go?Copy !req
260. Here it is.
Hi! I was hiding.Copy !req
261. Oh! You're missing a link.Copy !req
262. Chimp up, cannonball.
You're not in the circus anymore.Copy !req
263. Making this giant leap
through the wormhole...Copy !req
264. comes at great risk and danger.Copy !req
265. Who will blaze this trail for us?Copy !req
266. The few, the proud...Copy !req
267. the monkeys!Copy !req
268. - Awesome!
- A historic moment.Copy !req
269. And here he is-a symbol of our country's
once and future greatness...Copy !req
270. Ham the Third!Copy !req
271. Thank you, thank you. Hey!Copy !req
272. To the circus and beyo-Copy !req
273. That's gotta hurt.Copy !req
274. Wait! Oh, no.Copy !req
275. Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
276. How much fuel is in that backpack?Copy !req
277. - Oh, boy.
- Cool!Copy !req
278. Ah, wrong way!Copy !req
279. Incoming!Copy !req
280. - Chimps gone wild.
- Uh-oh! Oh, no!Copy !req
281. Holy nards!Copy !req
282. - Heads up!
- Save the children!Copy !req
283. Run for your lives!Copy !req
284. Whoa! Wow! Oh! Huh?Copy !req
285. Hey, look! I'm on TV!Copy !req
286. Oh! Whoa, no!Copy !req
287. - Crazy monkey!
- He's a maniac!Copy !req
288. Oh, that's not good.Copy !req
289. He's a joke!Copy !req
290. Oh.Copy !req
291. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
292. Which way to the circus?Copy !req
293. Huh? Uh-oh.Copy !req
294. Ta-da!Copy !req
295. - Load 'em up.Copy !req
296. What kind of simulator is this?
It looks really realistic.Copy !req
297. Oh, it is.Copy !req
298. Okay. I got that out of my system.Copy !req
299. Wait. Not quite yet.Copy !req
300. Okay. I'm good.
Now, where are we?Copy !req
301. Uh, guys?Copy !req
302. The simulated Earth's
getting smaller and smaller.Copy !req
303. This isn't a simulation, is it?Copy !req
304. We are now officially space chimps.Copy !req
305. The Horizon has
completed its first phase of operation.Copy !req
306. Oh, wonderful!Copy !req
307. - Ha!
- Yeah!Copy !req
308. No, that's not straight enough.Copy !req
309. No, no. Now that-
No, it's too straight.Copy !req
310. Who is this?
I don't remember dunking him.Copy !req
311. No, no! You're doing it all wrong!Copy !req
312. Move the Flanderk higher.Copy !req
313. Line up the twobs in a row.Copy !req
314. Careful with that!
It took me all day to dunk.Copy !req
315. - Splork!
- Yes, Lord Zartog?Copy !req
316. - Kneel to Lord Zartog.
- Yes, Lord Zartog.Copy !req
317. Soon the house of Zartog
will be finished.Copy !req
318. It's going to be magnificent!Copy !req
319. It's a shame the volcano will destroy it
when the three suns line up on Triple Sunday.Copy !req
320. I'm one step ahead of that volcano.Copy !req
321. That's why I'm building those.Copy !req
322. These pipes will divert
the Freznar safely away.Copy !req
323. Nothing will ever destroy
the house of Zartog.Copy !req
324. But if you divert
the volcano's Freznar...Copy !req
325. the entire village will be buried.Copy !req
326. Exactly! A glorious reflecting pool
to reflect my gloriousness...Copy !req
327. gloriously.Copy !req
328. - Eh, but-but-but where would we all live?
- With me, in my dungeon.Copy !req
329. How gracious of you, my lord.Copy !req
330. Commander's log. Now.Copy !req
331. Space, the final frontier.
I have bravely led-Copy !req
332. - Oh, stewardess?
Can you get me a pillow and a blanket?
- Stay in your seat.Copy !req
333. - It's regulation.
- I have bravely led my-Copy !req
334. Look! No hands, no feet. No tail.Copy !req
335. Back on Earth, your insubordinate behavior
would get you chimp-martialed!Copy !req
336. - You're not gonna do that
the whole trip, are you?
- What?Copy !req
337. Use "chimp" to replace real phrases.Copy !req
338. I tell ya. I'm gonna kill him.Copy !req
339. Commander! Violence
is against the primate directive.Copy !req
340. - You're right, Lieutenant.
- Is love against the primate directive?Copy !req
341. - Aah!
- Listen and learn, cannonball.Copy !req
342. - The approach sequence
must be activated in order.Copy !req
343. Fire the engines true and fast.
Red one first, blue one last.Copy !req
344. In between, press 3-6-5
if you want to stay alive.Copy !req
345. - Permission to speak, Commander?
- Permission granted.Copy !req
346. - You're a dork.
- I don't like you.Copy !req
347. Engaging 3-D matrix.Copy !req
348. - Ready visual imaging.
- Fire photon torpedoes!Copy !req
349. - Aah!
- It's go time, cannonball.Copy !req
350. Oh, yeah? Prove it.Copy !req
351. - Titan, don't!
- You are a threat to the mission!Copy !req
352. Ta-da!Copy !req
353. - Oops. I'm sorry. What do you think
we should name our kids?Copy !req
354. What? I'm gonna take off.Copy !req
355. - You're goin' down!
- Orbital stabilizers. Check.Copy !req
356. - Hey, is this your card? Is this your card?
- Auxiliary thrusters, check.Copy !req
357. - Collision detector, check.
- Circus freak!Copy !req
358. - Not your card, huh?
- I can't take this for another 73 light-years!Copy !req
359. - I gotcha! Here it comes!
- Hang in there.Copy !req
360. Ding-dong-Aah!Copy !req
361. Easy on the fur, furious George.Copy !req
362. Unruly crew member has been detained.Copy !req
363. - Ow!
- Enact regulation number 815.Copy !req
364. What's regulation 815?Copy !req
365. Guys!Copy !req
366. I gotta pee!Copy !req
367. Whoo! Talk about suction!Copy !req
368. - Ugh.
- Oh, and by the way, guys,
we lost the toilet paper.Copy !req
369. Not my fault.Copy !req
370. - Thrusters aligned for entry.
- Wow.Copy !req
371. Am I glad we're not goin'
into that crazy-lookin' thing.Copy !req
372. Sorry. While on the mission
I can only hear real astronauts.Copy !req
373. Then who did you just say sorry to?Copy !req
374. - Someone else.
- Then why did you just say "someone else"?Copy !req
375. - Jerk-boy!
- Nitpicker!Copy !req
376. - Poop-thrower!
- Maybe there's some music on the radio.Copy !req
377. Circus freak!Copy !req
378. Approaching dimensional anomaly entry.Copy !req
379. Brace for event threshold.Copy !req
380. Approaching five G's-Six G's!Copy !req
381. Eight G's!Copy !req
382. Must... stay... alert.Copy !req
383. Losing... consciousness...Copy !req
384. - now.
- Titan!Copy !req
385. Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
386. Come on! Come on!
Where's reverse on this thing?Copy !req
387. - Welcome to InStar.
- Oh, thank God.Copy !req
388. How can I help you?Copy !req
389. Horizon has entered the wormhole.Copy !req
390. - Marvelous!
- We'll reacquire signal
in 12 minutes, 20 seconds.Copy !req
391. - This better work.
- We got three chimps strapped
into a $3.7 billion spaceship.Copy !req
392. What could go wrong?Copy !req
393. Whoa-ho-ho! Whoa-whoa-whoa-whoa!
Whoa-whoa-whoa!Copy !req
394. Hey, cool, a planet.
And we're headed right for it.Copy !req
395. Oh, my God,
we're headed right for it!Copy !req
396. Wake up! Wake up!
You gotta land this thing!Copy !req
397. Okay, no need to panic.Copy !req
398. You're just hurtling out of a wormhole
on the other side of the universe...Copy !req
399. at 9,000 miles an hour and no brakes!Copy !req
400. Pull up! Come on!Copy !req
401. Steering wheel!Copy !req
402. Please let one of these be a force field.
Please, please, please!Copy !req
403. - Air bags deployed.
- I did it!Copy !req
404. I am the smartest chimp
in the universe!Copy !req
405. Whoo-Copy !req
406. No-oh-oh! Aaah!Copy !req
407. Ow.Copy !req
408. Whew.
Well, that wasn't so bad.Copy !req
409. Ship stabilized.Copy !req
410. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa-whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
411. Reacquire signal in five,
four, three, two, one.Copy !req
412. I'm heading to Kinko's later if anybody
wants me to run off their résumé.Copy !req
413. You lost the ship?Copy !req
414. It must be some sort of
technical malfunction.Copy !req
415. Burning microwave popcorn
is a technical malfunction.Copy !req
416. This is a billion-dollar disaster!Copy !req
417. 3.7, to be exact.Copy !req
418. Look on the bright side- if they don't come back,
we save five grand on cake and balloons.Copy !req
419. We can always count on
the 24-hour fail-safe restart system.Copy !req
420. You have 24 hours
to bring back those chimps...Copy !req
421. or I'll cut your funding
and make this space program history!Copy !req
422. And I mean every cent.Copy !req
423. You won't even be able
to afford pocket protectors.Copy !req
424. You monster!Copy !req
425. Remember, no bucks, no Buck Rogers.Copy !req
426. Oh. I love Buck Rogers.Copy !req
427. Who is Buck Rogers?Copy !req
428. They lost contact!Copy !req
429. Comet to Luna. Come in, Luna.Copy !req
430. Must be solar flare interference.Copy !req
431. I'll hack the mainframe
to filter the signal.Copy !req
432. Shoot,
in my day we just yelled louder.Copy !req
433. Oh, great.Copy !req
434. We landed in Barstow.Copy !req
435. Let's see. Elephant's peanut chest.Copy !req
436. No, not that one.
Circus mess hall. Ringmaster's Yugo.Copy !req
437. Houston's banana closet- Hmm.Copy !req
438. Whoa.Copy !req
439. One small step for Ham...Copy !req
440. one more small step for Ham...Copy !req
441. and yet another small step-Copy !req
442. What are you doing out here?Copy !req
443. Whoa!Copy !req
444. Testing for gravity?Copy !req
445. - Yeah, it works.
- Who authorized you to open the hatch?Copy !req
446. Commander.Copy !req
447. Commander?Copy !req
448. You are a liability to this mission.Copy !req
449. Ha! Liability?Copy !req
450. I was steering this crate while you and
Commander Coma were sawing logs!Copy !req
451. You stayed awake, and you didn't
activate the landing sequence?Copy !req
452. - That's all you had to do.
- Not true.Copy !req
453. I was catching up on my panicking.Copy !req
454. No! Don't!Copy !req
455. - What?
- The air could be poisonous!Copy !req
456. Oh, no!Copy !req
457. Poisonous air!Copy !req
458. - Lieutenant's log.
- Choking.Copy !req
459. - Air is breathable.
- Gasping.Copy !req
460. - The temperature is normal.
- Dying.Copy !req
461. Winning daytime Emmy.Copy !req
462. And there is no sign of intelligent life.Copy !req
463. Blah!Copy !req
464. Look, the planet has three suns.Copy !req
465. Amazing.Copy !req
466. Just like every science fiction movie involving
another planet guessed there would be.Copy !req
467. As you all know,
tomorrow is Triple Sunday!Copy !req
468. Our three suns will come together as one
and the volcano will explode!Copy !req
469. And in honor of this special day,
and more importantly, me...Copy !req
470. I'm throwing a celebration,
a sort of palace-warming party.Copy !req
471. - Your overlord!
- What?Copy !req
472. - Another metal beast fell from the sky!
- A metal beast?Copy !req
473. - Like this one?
- Only bigger!Copy !req
474. Only bigger! Only bigger!Copy !req
475. - Bigger than mine?
- It's not the size of the beast.Copy !req
476. It's what you do with it
that matters, my lord.Copy !req
477. - Traitor!
- I-I'm not a traitor!Copy !req
478. - Then take it back.
- Uh, okay. I take it back.Copy !req
479. You can't take it back,
now it's out there. They all heard.Copy !req
480. You all heard, right?Copy !req
481. - Oh!
- Splork!Copy !req
482. - Uh, me?
- Congratulations! You're the general.Copy !req
483. Take a party of warriors
and bring me the sky beast.Copy !req
484. Uh, okay, the tall guy,
you with the red belly...Copy !req
485. guy with the pointy hat
and the splotchy one at the back.Copy !req
486. I'm always picked last.Copy !req
487. Mount up!Copy !req
488. Take the Fluvians!Copy !req
489. Imagine, we're the first astronauts
to ever set foot on this planet.Copy !req
490. These photos will be front-page news.Copy !req
491. The most important images
of the century!Copy !req
492. Can you get one of my good side?Copy !req
493. Oops. Forgot. I'm all good side.Copy !req
494. Maybe take one of me looking heroically,
with my chin like this?Copy !req
495. - Oh, and another one like this.
- Clown.Copy !req
496. Ever alert. Brooding.Copy !req
497. Poised to strike. Candid.Copy !req
498. Laughing candid.Copy !req
499. I've been naughty.Copy !req
500. Huh? Hmm.Copy !req
501. Wait, Luna.
I wouldn't do that if I were you.Copy !req
502. This is the first sign of complex life
on an alien planet!Copy !req
503. - Astronauts gather knowledge. It's what we do.
- I'd just be a little careful.Copy !req
504. You? Careful?Copy !req
505. I'm just saying, that looks like a flower
used by Piddles the Clown.Copy !req
506. I gotta hear this.Copy !req
507. Piddles is a very cute clown...Copy !req
508. who has a cute little box
covered with cute little flowers.Copy !req
509. The kids think it's the sweetest thing
they've ever seen, until-Copy !req
510. Boo! A giant snake pops out.Copy !req
511. Please. I'm a trained astronaut.
I know what I'm doing.Copy !req
512. Trained astronaut?
Space chimps are a joke.Copy !req
513. Is that what you think
of your grandfather?Copy !req
514. Just pick your flowers
and let's get back to Earth.Copy !req
515. If there's no traffic in the wormhole,
I can still make the 8:00 show at the circus.Copy !req
516. - Uptight, scientific, bookworm chimp lady.
- Hmm.Copy !req
517. - What does Piddles do next?
- He usually throws a bucket
of confetti on the audience...Copy !req
518. and then runs around
smashing pies in his own face.Copy !req
519. I don't think that's gonna help us here.Copy !req
520. My Simian Space Manual. There must
be something in here about what to do.Copy !req
521. "Alien captures. Alien uprisings.Copy !req
522. - How to say no to an alien probe."
- Manual override!Copy !req
523. Confetti. I can't explain it.
It just scares things.Copy !req
524. - You sure they're not scared of them?
- Huh?Copy !req
525. I know this sounds crazy, but I think
these guys are gonna be super chill.Copy !req
526. - Death to strangers!
- Ooh, great name for a band.Copy !req
527. Titan! Wake up!Copy !req
528. The sky beast is ours!Copy !req
529. Quick, this way!Copy !req
530. - But we can't leave the ship, or Titan!
- Looks like they're leavin' us.Copy !req
531. Return to Lord Zartog!Copy !req
532. Titan!Copy !req
533. Get them! Fire!Copy !req
534. You should've never left the ship!
This is all your fault!Copy !req
535. Me? I didn't sign up for this!Copy !req
536. I should be in the makeup trailer,
not stuck on an alien planet, saving you!Copy !req
537. You saving me? I'm the astronaut here.
You're just a P.R. stunt!Copy !req
538. Wow, you are really sinking low.Copy !req
539. Yeah, well, you deserve it.Copy !req
540. - No. I mean you're literally getting lower.
We're sinking!
- Aah!Copy !req
541. I can't get out!Copy !req
542. Like we say in the circus, " The show ain't over
till the bearded lady shaves her back!"Copy !req
543. - Ew.
- It's as gross as it sounds too.Copy !req
544. Ham!Copy !req
545. Climb on my shoulders and grab that vine!Copy !req
546. Excuse me. That's my leg.Copy !req
547. - They're in the swamp!
- Attack!Copy !req
548. - Now what?
- Swing, very stiff one.Copy !req
549. Swing like the wind!
Release your inner chimp!Copy !req
550. Come on, Luna.
Like you're on a trapeze.Copy !req
551. - I'm not from the circus.
- Life's a circus, Luna. Only the tents get bigger.Copy !req
552. Fire!Copy !req
553. Tarzan yell!Copy !req
554. Ham! I can't do this! I'm gonna fall!Copy !req
555. - Yes, you can, Luna! You can do this!
- I can't!Copy !req
556. Use your shoulders, kick your legs,
swing and let go.Copy !req
557. Shoulders, legs, swing, let go.Copy !req
558. Shoulders, legs, swing, let go.Copy !req
559. - Nice! There you go. You're getting it!
- Shoulders, legs, swing.Copy !req
560. - Let go!
- You're gettin' it! The chimp has been released!Copy !req
561. Swing, let go.
Hey, check this out, Ham!Copy !req
562. Whoo!Copy !req
563. - No!
- Whoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
564. - See? Nothing to it!
- Ham!Copy !req
565. Just a couple of chimps swingin' through
a jungle of vines with eyes and mouths.Copy !req
566. Eyes and mouths!Copy !req
567. Snake one, meet snake two.Copy !req
568. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
569. - Get them!
- Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
570. - Ham, help!
- Luna!Copy !req
571. Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
572. It's showtime!Copy !req
573. Afternoon, ladies.Copy !req
574. - Some first date, huh?
- This is not a date.Copy !req
575. Oh, yes, it is.
And I really hope to see you again.Copy !req
576. Because we're about to... fall!Copy !req
577. Ham, what do we do now?Copy !req
578. Aim for the soft patch.Copy !req
579. Spread your arms wide.
Chin down. Thumbs in.Copy !req
580. - I hope you know what you're doing.
- Are you kidding me?Copy !req
581. I do this every day of the week.Copy !req
582. Except Monday. That's my me day.Copy !req
583. Ham?Copy !req
584. Luna, chin down.Copy !req
585. Ham!Copy !req
586. Whoo!Copy !req
587. Ham?Copy !req
588. Ham? You're okay, right?Copy !req
589. Ham, get up.Copy !req
590. Come on, Ham.Copy !req
591. I'm sorry I was rough on you.Copy !req
592. Sure, you were irresponsible,
dangerous and undisciplined...Copy !req
593. but you saved my life.Copy !req
594. And you were kind of funny in an
unbelievably annoying way. And you were-Copy !req
595. - Cute?
- No.Copy !req
596. - Handsome?
- No.Copy !req
597. Like Brad Pitt,
but way shorter and more hairy?Copy !req
598. What?Copy !req
599. Luna, do you copy?Copy !req
600. - Let me just say one thing.
- Luna's alive.Copy !req
601. You are the most annoying, obnoxious,
self-centered creature I have ever met.Copy !req
602. - Ham's alive.
- Luna? Ham? Do you read me? Come in.Copy !req
603. You're an embarrassment.Copy !req
604. We can hear them,
but they can't hear us.Copy !req
605. We'll need to calibrate
the Gregorian array...Copy !req
606. replace the helix mirror
and cross-feed the surrounding shroud.Copy !req
607. The only word I understood was "feed."Copy !req
608. Mission log. We are stranded
on a hostile alien planet.Copy !req
609. Commander Titan has been kidnapped.Copy !req
610. - And we're falling in love!
- No, we're not!Copy !req
611. Ignore that last part. Delete! Delete!Copy !req
612. - Kidnapped?
- Stranded? We gotta get movin', kid.Copy !req
613. We've lost our ship
and have only 22 hours...Copy !req
614. before the automatic pilot engages
and we're stuck here forever.Copy !req
615. Whoa. What?
What do you mean, "stuck"?Copy !req
616. The ship has a safety program to automatically
fly back to Earth 24 hours after we land.Copy !req
617. It was in your manual.Copy !req
618. Was that before or after the chapter on the
fleet of rescue ships they'll send to save us?Copy !req
619. - Ham, we got one chance of getting home.
- I've had worse odds than that.Copy !req
620. Let's get moving.Copy !req
621. Behold Sky Beast Two, the sequel!Copy !req
622. Yes!Copy !req
623. Greetings, aliens!Copy !req
624. Don't worry. You didn't wake me.Copy !req
625. I needed to get up.Copy !req
626. I am Commander Titan.Copy !req
627. I have traveled through space
in search of knowledge...Copy !req
628. to explore the outer reaches
of the universe...Copy !req
629. make first contact with aliens
like yourselves...Copy !req
630. seal you in Mylar wrap and take you
to my home planet to be dissected.Copy !req
631. - Dissected?
- Oh, you know.Copy !req
632. We lay you down on some nice wax paper,
slice you open with a butter knife.Copy !req
633. Oh?Copy !req
634. But first, you'll need to form a line...Copy !req
635. so that I can label and catalog you.Copy !req
636. Organism one, organism two-Copy !req
637. Organism three.Copy !req
638. I am Lord Zartog,
ruler of the planet Malgor.Copy !req
639. Zartog, eh?
Your parents named you that?Copy !req
640. 'Cause you are different.Copy !req
641. I like you. Is that, uh, with one "G" or two?Copy !req
642. - I'll take that as a one.Copy !req
643. - Organism four, organism five.
- Ow!Copy !req
644. Ah, there's-
There's a lot of you. Whoa.Copy !req
645. Whoa there, mister.
That's space agency property.Copy !req
646. You're in direct violation
of interstellar protocol.Copy !req
647. But, if you cooperate with me,
I will ask the tribunal to go easy on you.Copy !req
648. Cooperate with you?
I'm going to destroy you.Copy !req
649. I appreciate your honesty.
You're a good man, "Zartig."Copy !req
650. And a worthy adversary.Copy !req
651. - Be proud.
- Prepare to be frozen forever.Copy !req
652. Ha! You don't even know how to use
the reticulating micromovement device.Copy !req
653. Even a first-year cadet
knows how to do that.Copy !req
654. Hmm. Will you show me
the secrets of the beast?Copy !req
655. Negativo. You're not trained.
You're not qualified.Copy !req
656. You're not even insured.Copy !req
657. Please? I'll do anything.Copy !req
658. You could help me find my crew.Copy !req
659. - There are more?
- Two others. We, uh, lost them
in Gunglevik Jungle.Copy !req
660. What kind of idiot would go in there?Copy !req
661. Ham.Copy !req
662. You gotta admit. Being on
a weird alien planet is almost cool.Copy !req
663. All my life, I dreamed of being
a real astronaut, just like your grandfather.Copy !req
664. - And here I am.
- Real astronauts? Wake up, Luna.Copy !req
665. The only reason we're here
is to see if we explode in space.Copy !req
666. You're wrong.
We are real astronauts.Copy !req
667. - Whoa.
- Ham.Copy !req
668. Which one of us
lost our flashlight... that moves...Copy !req
669. really fast behind rocks
and has a head?Copy !req
670. Cool.Copy !req
671. Please, I mean you no harm.Copy !req
672. Hi. I'm Lieutenant Luna.Copy !req
673. M-My name
is Killawallawizzaseywhoha.Copy !req
674. Oh, great. It's drunk.Copy !req
675. I'm the last free Luzian from the village
of Killawallawazoowahooweewee.Copy !req
676. We come from Earth.Copy !req
677. You know, Earth- iTunes, greenhouse gases...Copy !req
678. David Beckham.Copy !req
679. Whoa. What's up with
the glow-in-the-dark brain case?Copy !req
680. My head lights up when I'm scared.Copy !req
681. You don't need to be scared of us.
We're your friends.Copy !req
682. Friends.Copy !req
683. Are you alone?Copy !req
684. Yes. My village was imprisoned
by Zartog and his sky beast.Copy !req
685. Its metal claws gave him
the power to enslave the planet.Copy !req
686. Metal claws. The rover!
We, too, came from the stars.Copy !req
687. Yes. I saw you crash.Copy !req
688. You saw that? That was me!Copy !req
689. - What?
- Do you know where our ship is?Copy !req
690. - At Zartog's palace.
- Can you lead us there?Copy !req
691. - Don't worry. We'll protect you,
Killawallazallawallakillazella.Copy !req
692. Oh, let's just call her Kilowatt,
or we'll be here all day.Copy !req
693. - Or night.
- We will set off in the morning.Copy !req
694. The journey is perilous.
We must cross through the-Copy !req
695. The Valley of Very Bad Things.Copy !req
696. It is a land of untold danger,
agony and torture...Copy !req
697. not to mention avian urk flu,
death spouts...Copy !req
698. mad florg disease,
the Cave of the Flesh-Devouring Beast...Copy !req
699. and the Dark Cloud of Id
from which no one escapes unchanged!Copy !req
700. Sleep. You'll need your rest.Copy !req
701. I could use a little shut-eye.Copy !req
702. Stay on your side of the planet.Copy !req
703. You Earthlings
have a funny way of showing love.Copy !req
704. We do, don't we?Copy !req
705. Night, honey.Copy !req
706. Up wake, up wake.Copy !req
707. - Well, that was refreshing.
We were asleep for, like-
- Five seconds.Copy !req
708. Yep. Just one of the benefits
of living on a planet with three suns.Copy !req
709. Huh. Follow me.Copy !req
710. Listen and learn, "Zelig."Copy !req
711. The P.R. 5-13I is a high-performance,
all-purpose space exploration vehicle.Copy !req
712. Rough, rugged and ready...Copy !req
713. the engineers have outfitted her
with defense systems for every situation.Copy !req
714. - And the 60 million kilowatt
internal nuclear power plant...Copy !req
715. guarantees she's always got enough juice
to get the tough jobs done.Copy !req
716. - Ready to take her for a spin?
- Yes! My thoughts exactly.Copy !req
717. Whoa!Copy !req
718. Oh, the waiting is just mind-numbing.Copy !req
719. Well, I really need a Snicker's bar.
I don't know about you.Copy !req
720. I'm allergic to peanuts.Copy !req
721. Wow. This is even better
than circus peanuts.Copy !req
722. I still can't believe the grandson
of the great Ham is a clown.Copy !req
723. - Hey, I like what I do.
- Don't you wanna be a hero?Copy !req
724. You mean like a sandwich?Copy !req
725. I wish I could have welcomed you
with fruit from our village...Copy !req
726. but Zartog had it all destroyed.Copy !req
727. We're sorry, Kilowatt.Copy !req
728. Why would you build
a machine like that?Copy !req
729. - We didn't. The humans did.
- What are humans?Copy !req
730. They're like us. Well, 99.9% like us.Copy !req
731. But it's the.01
that makes them own everything.Copy !req
732. - Don't!
- But they're big gumdrops.Copy !req
733. That is not food.
That is a glophopper.Copy !req
734. Guys, is it just me, or is that
a really handsome pile of glophoppers?Copy !req
735. Hmm. Hey, check this out.Copy !req
736. Whoo!Copy !req
737. Why any life-form
would want to mimic you...Copy !req
738. is one of the unsolved mysteries
of the universe.Copy !req
739. - Come on. Bust out the scissors.
This rug ain't gonna cut itself.
- Ham.Copy !req
740. I've never danced before.Copy !req
741. Oh, okay.
So we'll take baby steps.Copy !req
742. Gimme your arm.Copy !req
743. There you go.
Not too shabby. You're a natural.Copy !req
744. I am? Really?Copy !req
745. Are you kiddin' me? Absolutely.Copy !req
746. Whee!Copy !req
747. I am poppin' as well as lockin'.Copy !req
748. Now the bus stop, robot, King Tut-
Rump dart.Copy !req
749. Fluvians! Run for it.Copy !req
750. Ham, we can't outrun them!Copy !req
751. Man, I love these dudes. Come on!Copy !req
752. They don't call me
the "Hamster" for nothing.Copy !req
753. You know, 'cause, like, my name is Ham
and I'm running in a wheel.Copy !req
754. - Never mind.
- Ah! Whoa! Ow! Ow! Ahh.Copy !req
755. Get 'em!Copy !req
756. Oh, no! Pull up! Pull up!Copy !req
757. Yes!Copy !req
758. Whoa!Copy !req
759. Ow!Copy !req
760. We really gotta work on stopping.Copy !req
761. No, no, wait. Don't leave, gumdrop people.
Your stopping skills are great!Copy !req
762. They are afraid. It is the Cave
of the Flesh-Devouring Beast.Copy !req
763. What is with this planet?Copy !req
764. Would it kill you to have
a Cave of Cute Little Kittens?Copy !req
765. Ham, we got to finish this mission.Copy !req
766. We only have 12 hours
till the ship takes off.Copy !req
767. Through the cave
is the only way to your ship.Copy !req
768. Run!Copy !req
769. Hurry, Luna!Copy !req
770. I want this party to be remembered forever.Copy !req
771. Beyond anything Malgor has ever seen.Copy !req
772. You'll need streamers.
Nothin' screams "festive" like streamers.Copy !req
773. I love 'em. Oh, and, uh, some, uh,
goody bags for when your guests leave.Copy !req
774. It's a fun, simple way to say,
"Thanks for comin'."Copy !req
775. Splork, grab a pad.Copy !req
776. - Uh-
- Maybe we'll get lucky...Copy !req
777. and this beast will only devour
our flesh with his eyes.Copy !req
778. Ham?Copy !req
779. Or not!Copy !req
780. Ooh! We have to find the exit.Copy !req
781. - Aah! Ham!
- Luna!Copy !req
782. Help! Aah!Copy !req
783. - This way! It's too narrow
for him to get through!Copy !req
784. - Help!
- Faster! It's gaining on us!Copy !req
785. Oh! Whoa!Copy !req
786. Dead end! Oh, no!Copy !req
787. Come on!Copy !req
788. - Aah!
- Whoa.Copy !req
789. - Kilowatt, turn yourself off!
- Cannot. Too scared.Copy !req
790. But if we can't get out of here, we're dead!Copy !req
791. - That is not helping.
- Okay, here's a trick.Copy !req
792. To control your fear,
imagine what you're most afraid of...Copy !req
793. and then imagine overcoming it.Copy !req
794. - Quick, Ham! It's breaking free!
- Come on. You can do it, Kilowatt.Copy !req
795. - Be brave.
- Okay. Control your fear.Copy !req
796. Control your fear.
Control your fear.Copy !req
797. Control your fear.
Control your fear.Copy !req
798. Control your fear.
Control your fear.Copy !req
799. Control your fear.Copy !req
800. Wow. It works.Copy !req
801. The exit!Copy !req
802. Let's go!Copy !req
803. - It's blocking the way out.
- We're trapped.Copy !req
804. I have been scared my entire life,
but you showed me how to control it.Copy !req
805. Kilowatt, no!
What are you doing?Copy !req
806. - What I must.
- Kilowatt.Copy !req
807. If you swallow me,
I will only grow stronger.Copy !req
808. - Kilowatt! No!
- Ham! Hurry.Copy !req
809. Why did she do that?Copy !req
810. Oh, so stupid... and brave.Copy !req
811. That was the bravest thing I've ever seen.Copy !req
812. - Whoa. Where are we?
- Whoa.Copy !req
813. This must be the Dark Cloud of Id.Copy !req
814. Oh, it's making me
feel weird... and depressed.Copy !req
815. I shouldn't even be here.
I'm just a low-rent circus chimp.Copy !req
816. - How does that make you feel?
- Like a stupid pet trick.Copy !req
817. Which is all I am- a joke!Copy !req
818. I could be replaced by a cannonball.Copy !req
819. Oh, man. Delirium, cryin', sobbin'.
They're runnin' out of oxygen!Copy !req
820. - Come on, sport. Gotta get through.
- I'm almost there.Copy !req
821. I'm not even a good chimp.
I've never once said thank you to Houston.Copy !req
822. - He's like a father to me.
- Oh, Ham.Copy !req
823. All my life I've been living
in my famous grandpa's shadow.Copy !req
824. How does that make you feel?Copy !req
825. You know what it's like
to live in a shadow?Copy !req
826. It's cold.
I knew I could never become a hero...Copy !req
827. so I became a clown.Copy !req
828. I think you've had
a breakthrough. I'm afraid your time is up.Copy !req
829. Here goes.Copy !req
830. With this much power,
they'll hear us for sure.Copy !req
831. Oh, Lord.Copy !req
832. - Ham-
- You know all that back there,
it was just the cloud talking. So-Copy !req
833. It's okay. Sometimes the conflict
between the superego and the id...Copy !req
834. can cast a long shadow in the soul.Copy !req
835. I have no idea what you just said.Copy !req
836. I'm gonna walk this way now.Copy !req
837. Pathetic groveling slaves of Malgor...Copy !req
838. welcome to Triple Sunday!Copy !req
839. Soon the suns will align
and the volcano will explode.Copy !req
840. And a lot of you are not going to live.Copy !req
841. Ahem! That's your cue.Copy !req
842. Now we party my way.Copy !req
843. Dance or dunk.Copy !req
844. - You.
- Who?Copy !req
845. - You're not dancing.
- Yes, I am.Copy !req
846. - No, that's more of a shuffle.
- Nope, a dance.Copy !req
847. - Shuffle!
- Dance!Copy !req
848. Shuffle!Copy !req
849. - Shuffle.
- Okay. Shuffle.Copy !req
850. Whoa.Copy !req
851. That's like the second biggest
evil lair I've ever seen.Copy !req
852. And I've seen two.Copy !req
853. Hey, there's the ship.
And there's the rover!Copy !req
854. Now it is my thrill
to present the main attraction.Copy !req
855. The monkey who showed me the way.Copy !req
856. Here's Titan!Copy !req
857. - Oh, my gosh. Titan!
- Oh, my gosh. And he's not asleep.Copy !req
858. Oh, if we just had our rocket packs,
we could rescue Titan from the air.Copy !req
859. - Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- Uh, we're not paid to think.Copy !req
860. As a matter of fact, we're not paid at all.
Think about that!Copy !req
861. Uh, wait.
Chimps don't leave chimps behind.Copy !req
862. Luna.Copy !req
863. I hear ya. I hear ya. I do.Copy !req
864. But here's what I have to say about it.Copy !req
865. Let's leave him.Copy !req
866. - Ham.
- Fine. We'll save him.Copy !req
867. Begin torturously slow dunking mechanism.Copy !req
868. Uh, "Zartig," now that I've gotten to know you,
you seem like a reasonable alien...Copy !req
869. which is why I'm willing
to offer you a plea bargain.Copy !req
870. No.Copy !req
871. - Let's go.
- Whoa.Copy !req
872. Here we go, ladies.Copy !req
873. Sure, go ahead. Dunk me. Now you'll
never learn how to use the 3-D radar.Copy !req
874. - Huh? 3-D radar?
- Yeah, oh. Whoa! That's right. 3-D radar.Copy !req
875. - Luna, follow me.
- Roger that.Copy !req
876. Who's Roger? Is it serious?Copy !req
877. Tell me, tell me, tell me, please.Copy !req
878. Flip the bar with the star.Copy !req
879. Not too far to start the radar.Copy !req
880. You take the left. I'll take the right.Copy !req
881. Alert. Chimpanzees incoming.Copy !req
882. - What?
- Yee-hoo!Copy !req
883. Fire away!Copy !req
884. Luna! Nice.Copy !req
885. Now let's get back to the ship...Copy !req
886. - so I can save you guys and pilot us home.
- Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
887. - Where did those chimps go?
- They escaped!Copy !req
888. Traitor.Copy !req
889. Commander,
launch control is unresponsive.Copy !req
890. Check diagnostics.Copy !req
891. - Huh?
- Nothing but bells and whistles.Copy !req
892. But why did they teach us all that stuff
if the controls weren't even hooked up?Copy !req
893. I told you guys.
This whole thing was a sham.Copy !req
894. They wanted to see if our brains still worked
after going through a wormhole.Copy !req
895. - We're Spam in a can.
- And we weren't even supposed to open the can.Copy !req
896. Sorry, Luna, but we're
nothin' more than guinea pigs.Copy !req
897. Actually, the guinea pigs
are on the Mars mission.Copy !req
898. Whee!Copy !req
899. The ship was on autopilot
the whole time.Copy !req
900. We were never really flying it.
We were never really astronauts.Copy !req
901. - You were right all along.
- I didn't want to be right.Copy !req
902. Besides, that's what humans think of us,
not what we should think.Copy !req
903. Why wasn't I born a rabbit or a squirrel
or an art history major?Copy !req
904. Nobody expects great things from them.Copy !req
905. Three minutes to liftoff.Copy !req
906. Well, at least we're safe and goin' home.Copy !req
907. 1,600 crunches a day...Copy !req
908. 500 push-ups with each arm-Copy !req
909. All that training for what?Copy !req
910. I can't go.Copy !req
911. - What?
- I know we didn't build the probe.Copy !req
912. But it came from Earth.
We did this to them.Copy !req
913. I can't run away.
We owe it to Kilowatt and this planet.Copy !req
914. I took an oath to return this ship to Earth,
and that's what I'm gonna do.Copy !req
915. - Ham's right.
- Huh?
- Huh?Copy !req
916. I'd rather be a hero here on Malgor
than a space chump back on Earth.Copy !req
917. Lieutenant Luna. This is an order.Copy !req
918. - There goes our ride.
- And Titan.Copy !req
919. Commander!Copy !req
920. - What about your oath?
- Chimps don't leave chimps behind.Copy !req
921. You, sir, are gonna make me cry.Copy !req
922. Ham, we need a plan.Copy !req
923. The commander of the mission
comes up with the plan.Copy !req
924. And your plan is?Copy !req
925. Well, the plan.
Yes, the plan, of course.Copy !req
926. Since I'm the commander of the plan,
whatever plan is my plan.Copy !req
927. It's not your plan. It's not Ham's-Copy !req
928. - Titan!
- Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
929. It's party time.Copy !req
930. We have contact.
The ship has exited the wormhole.Copy !req
931. Touchdown in 15 seconds.Copy !req
932. Okay, here we go. History in the making, boys.
Roll those cameras.Copy !req
933. What the-Copy !req
934. - Whoa.
- Oh, no.Copy !req
935. I'm afraid the chimpanzees
did not make it.Copy !req
936. You think?Copy !req
937. That's it. Mission canceled.
Space program's done.Copy !req
938. Oh, no.
They're gonna be stuck up there.Copy !req
939. As of tomorrow, this entire agency will be
recommissioned into something useful...Copy !req
940. like one of those places where you design
and paint and bake your own plates!Copy !req
941. He does have a point.
That is useful.Copy !req
942. What about the two chimps still here?Copy !req
943. Two chimps, two words.
"Animal testing."Copy !req
944. - We have to get to mission control.
- We're their only chance.Copy !req
945. Follow me.Copy !req
946. - Hold on.
- Cool.Copy !req
947. For a 20th-century chimp, you're moving
pretty quickly into the 21 st century.Copy !req
948. Yee-haw!Copy !req
949. Whoa.Copy !req
950. I may be old, but I'm aerodynamic.Copy !req
951. - Whoo-hoo!
- Whoa.Copy !req
952. You're gonna have to keep up, son.
Whoo-hoo.Copy !req
953. - Great plan.
- At last. Prepare to be dunked!Copy !req
954. - Lieutenant Luna.
- Yes, Commander?Copy !req
955. You should have asked Ham
to come up with the plan.Copy !req
956. Three chimps, three coats. Which one first?Copy !req
957. Is it you?Copy !req
958. - The big one?
- What?Copy !req
959. Or will it be you, the adorable one?Copy !req
960. Or all three at once?Copy !req
961. Well, as commander,
the least I can do is make sure...Copy !req
962. "Zelbaum" here doesn't dunk you guys.Copy !req
963. How would you do that?Copy !req
964. Because I will teach you the rover's
secret to universal domination.Copy !req
965. - Huh?
- The entire universe? That's big, right?Copy !req
966. - But first, let my crew go.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa. What?Copy !req
967. Tell me.Copy !req
968. - No, don't.
- Titan, don't!Copy !req
969. - Tell me, tell me, please.
- What's he doing?Copy !req
970. Please tell me. Tell it to me.
Tell me please. I'll let you live.Copy !req
971. So, to dominate the universe,
hit the yellow button first.Copy !req
972. Turn the blue knob
and then the green.Copy !req
973. Then pull the lever in reverse.Copy !req
974. - Oh, this one?
- That's right.Copy !req
975. Wait.Copy !req
976. - Wow. You really are stupid.
- Yeah.Copy !req
977. And a really bad poet.Copy !req
978. Oops. Did I say "reverse?"Copy !req
979. Crudlar.Copy !req
980. That was a joke.Copy !req
981. Traitor!Copy !req
982. Whoo!Copy !req
983. - Huh?
- Huh?Copy !req
984. Wowzers.Copy !req
985. - Kilowatt! But how?
- Kilowatt, you're alive.Copy !req
986. We saw the Flesh-Devouring Beast
swallow you.Copy !req
987. He-He's not big on chewing.Copy !req
988. - But how did you get out?
- Um-Copy !req
989. Don't make me go there.Copy !req
990. - Ew.
- What?Copy !req
991. You guys need a hand?Copy !req
992. Does anybody want the "Zelik'statue?Copy !req
993. 'Cause I'll take it.Copy !req
994. You have liberated us
from the bonds of slavery.Copy !req
995. We are eternally grateful.
We owe you our lives.Copy !req
996. - We came.
- We crashed.Copy !req
997. W-We kicked his butt!Copy !req
998. What? Why'd you have to
bring his butt into it?Copy !req
999. - It's a sayin'. That's how it goes.
- No, that is not how it goes.Copy !req
1000. I'm, like, 99% sure that's how it goes.Copy !req
1001. You Earthlings have
a funny way of showing love.Copy !req
1002. Luna? Do you read me?Copy !req
1003. Hey, Luna,
is that a banana in your pocket?Copy !req
1004. Would you evolve?Copy !req
1005. - Sorry.
- Comet to Luna.Copy !req
1006. - Comet?
- Luna.Copy !req
1007. Comet. Oh, thank heavens.Copy !req
1008. - You'll never believe what's happening.
- We've heard everything.Copy !req
1009. - We've been able to hear you the whole time.
- The whole time?Copy !req
1010. Yep. The whole time, son.Copy !req
1011. I'm sorry I kept pushin' you
to live up to your legacy.Copy !req
1012. It's okay, Houston.
Maybe it's time I do.Copy !req
1013. - What's your status?
- Single.Copy !req
1014. - But there's someone I've got my eye on.
- Oh.Copy !req
1015. It's Luna,
in case you were wondering.Copy !req
1016. Oh, wait. Are we talking about
the mission status here?Copy !req
1017. Yeah.Copy !req
1018. Ah, well, everything's okay,
but we have no way to leave.Copy !req
1019. - You still got the probe.
- The probe? It wasn't designed
to return to Earth.Copy !req
1020. We'll just have to "chimprovise."Copy !req
1021. You know,
I kinda missed your stupid puns.Copy !req
1022. - Thank you.
- Titan's right.Copy !req
1023. - You'll need a complete redesign.
- How do we do that?Copy !req
1024. Uh, let me put you on with Comet.Copy !req
1025. First, we'll need to re-engineer
the aerodynamic skeletal structure.Copy !req
1026. - Got it. Let me put ya on with Luna.
- Go ahead, Comet.Copy !req
1027. - Second, you'll need thrust.
- Huh.Copy !req
1028. We'd need at least
7.7 million pounds of thrust...Copy !req
1029. to reach the velocity
to escape the planet's gravity.Copy !req
1030. We'd never get that kind of thrust without
a two-stage rocket. It can't be done.Copy !req
1031. Even if we could build a ship,
it'd never get off this planet.Copy !req
1032. Ham?Copy !req
1033. If you can shoot
a chimp out of a cannon...Copy !req
1034. you can shoot a ship out of a volcano.Copy !req
1035. Of course! Geothermal energy.Copy !req
1036. We don't have much time.Copy !req
1037. Kilowatt, we're gonna need some help
if we're ever gonna get home.Copy !req
1038. Planet Malgor at your service.Copy !req
1039. Let's chimp this ride.Copy !req
1040. I know I said I missed the puns,
but that was just unacceptable.Copy !req
1041. Standing by. Awaiting instructions.Copy !req
1042. I need duct tape, and I need it now.Copy !req
1043. Yeah, over there. Right. That's good.Copy !req
1044. We have to move fast.Copy !req
1045. Load up those pipes!
Seal 'em up, fellas!Copy !req
1046. Kilowatt, we'll never forget you.Copy !req
1047. Aw, I won't either.Copy !req
1048. Well, she won't win
any beauty contests, but she'll fly.Copy !req
1049. - Probably.
- Maybe.Copy !req
1050. Hopefully.Copy !req
1051. Eh, let's not over analyze it.Copy !req
1052. The suns are aligning. You must hurry.Copy !req
1053. The volcano is about to erupt.Copy !req
1054. Oh, no. What about reentry?Copy !req
1055. - You're going to need a nose cone.
- Nose cone?Copy !req
1056. - Huh?
- No time. How are we gonna build a nose cone?Copy !req
1057. Uh, hello?Copy !req
1058. Mission control,
Infinity is in the launch chute.Copy !req
1059. - Five seconds.
- I can't look.Copy !req
1060. - It's louder than a cannon!
- I think I'm gonna be sick.Copy !req
1061. - Ooh!
- Ahh! Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
1062. Whoo! We did it!
We-We-We-We stopped the Freznar!Copy !req
1063. We're saved!Copy !req
1064. Time to go home.Copy !req
1065. Bye. Bye. Bye.Copy !req
1066. I can see the headlines now.Copy !req
1067. "Commander Titan returns to Earth."Copy !req
1068. What will I wear?
I mean, what goes with ticker tape?Copy !req
1069. Approaching wormhole threshold.Copy !req
1070. - Here it comes. Take this.
- Huh?Copy !req
1071. - But I don't know how.
- When we pass out, you've gotta pilot us home.Copy !req
1072. What are you, nuts?
I'm not an astronaut.Copy !req
1073. - Are you wearing aluminum clothes?
- Um, yeah.Copy !req
1074. - Are you in a rocket?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1075. - In outer space?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1076. - Are you David Bowie?
- No.Copy !req
1077. Then you must be an astronaut.
Bring this bird home, hotshot!Copy !req
1078. Whoa!Copy !req
1079. I'm not cut out for this.Copy !req
1080. - Ham?
- Luna.Copy !req
1081. I believe in you.Copy !req
1082. Wait. Luna, no. Titan.Copy !req
1083. Titan? Whoa!Copy !req
1084. You keep showboatin'-Copy !req
1085. You're not in the circus anymore.Copy !req
1086. Ham the Third!Copy !req
1087. Your insubordinate behavior
will get you chimp-martialed!Copy !req
1088. When will you straighten up and fly right?Copy !req
1089. You're a threat
to the mission, cannonball!Copy !req
1090. Believe in yourself, Ham.Copy !req
1091. Grandpa Ham?
I can't do this. I'm not you.Copy !req
1092. Well, of course you're not me.
You're you.Copy !req
1093. You can do things, son.Copy !req
1094. Just do them your way.Copy !req
1095. Whoa.Copy !req
1096. That's them.
They're out of the wormhole.Copy !req
1097. Infinity, welcome back.
Ham, do you read me?Copy !req
1098. Shh. The kids are sleeping.Copy !req
1099. Ham, you have to
align your ship for reentry.Copy !req
1100. You're coming in too hot. You've gotta reduce
your angle for reentry by 33 degrees-Copy !req
1101. - Exactly 33 degrees.
- Uh, kind of exactly or exactly-exactly?Copy !req
1102. Exactly-exactly.Copy !req
1103. If you don't nail that reentry window,
you'll be space dust.Copy !req
1104. - Great.
- Now, engage ailerons.Copy !req
1105. - Check.
- Flick the turbulence coolers on.Copy !req
1106. - Uh, check.
- Adjust the heat deflectors.Copy !req
1107. And enable gyroscopic stabilizers.Copy !req
1108. Uh-oh. Help!Copy !req
1109. I can't reach it.
Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
1110. - Ham, you're pitching up.
- No, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
1111. - Holy out of "controlly!"
- Hey, need a copilot?Copy !req
1112. Lieutenant Luna. Sure, I do.Copy !req
1113. Mission Control,
adjusting our angle to 33 degrees.Copy !req
1114. - Yes!
- Oh, mercy.Copy !req
1115. We did it! Florida, we have visuals.Copy !req
1116. What about Commander Coma?
Should we wake him up?Copy !req
1117. - We don't need a third wheel on our date.
- Luna, ooh.Copy !req
1118. - Lower the landing gear.
- Check.Copy !req
1119. Uh, Houston,
our landing gear is toast.Copy !req
1120. Oh, boy. I picked a bad week
to quit eating bananas.Copy !req
1121. - What now?
- Don't worry, son.Copy !req
1122. Low-tech solutions are my specialty.Copy !req
1123. - Ham, remember the circus?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1124. - Good. You're gonna crash.
- We're gonna crash?Copy !req
1125. But this time, stay on target.Copy !req
1126. - Roger that, Houston.
- Oh, why are you smiling if we're gonna crash?Copy !req
1127. Because crashing is what I do best.
Yee-hoo-hoo-hoo!Copy !req
1128. Come out with your paws up.Copy !req
1129. Paws? They're chimps. Th-They have hands,
with opposable thumbs.Copy !req
1130. - Come out with your thumbs up.
- And they don't understand English.Copy !req
1131. Kick it down.Copy !req
1132. Yahoo!Copy !req
1133. Wait, my rug.Copy !req
1134. We all knew. Everybody knew.Copy !req
1135. Everyone knew when you wouldn't
go swimming at the office party.Copy !req
1136. Here we go!Copy !req
1137. - Oh!
- What was that?Copy !req
1138. I can't hold it!
We lost steering control!Copy !req
1139. Uh, Ham!Copy !req
1140. Whoo-hoo! Clutch.Copy !req
1141. I said "clutch!"Copy !req
1142. You got it.Copy !req
1143. Oh, Lord.Copy !req
1144. I never thought I'd be saying this,
but you gotta crash this ship.Copy !req
1145. What are you doing?
No, Luna, don't.Copy !req
1146. I'll see you on the ground.Copy !req
1147. While we close the chapter
on space travel...Copy !req
1148. we open an amazing new chapter
in "paint your own plate" history.Copy !req
1149. Whoa! Just a little bit farther.Copy !req
1150. Luna, you did it! I got control!Copy !req
1151. Yes!Copy !req
1152. The national space program
is hereby offic-Copy !req
1153. Oh!Copy !req
1154. Whoa!Copy !req
1155. No!Copy !req
1156. Luna!Copy !req
1157. Whoa!Copy !req
1158. - Oh, man.
- Whoa!Copy !req
1159. Whoa!Copy !req
1160. Luna! Luna! Luna, get up!Copy !req
1161. You're okay, right?Copy !req
1162. Oh, this can't be happening.
Come on, Luna.Copy !req
1163. I stayed on target this time.Copy !req
1164. I was tryin' to be more like you.Copy !req
1165. - You were always-
- Right.Copy !req
1166. - Yeah, and you made me-
- Better?Copy !req
1167. Yeah. And-
And if I had to be without you-Copy !req
1168. - You won't be.
- Luna!Copy !req
1169. Ham.Copy !req
1170. - But how'd you survive?
- Chin down, opposable thumbs in.Copy !req
1171. Lieutenant Luna, you crash with style.Copy !req
1172. Cannonball, I was wrong about you.Copy !req
1173. You would've made
your grandfather proud.Copy !req
1174. Thanks. I guess I'm just
a chimp off the old block.Copy !req
1175. That's a good one.
I'll have to use that line.Copy !req
1176. Way to stick the landin', hotshot.
I always knew you had it in ya.Copy !req
1177. What can I say?
I'm an envelope pusher.Copy !req
1178. Hey, Ham.
Official space commander shades.Copy !req
1179. Here's your Bananaberry back.
It was almost as good as havin' you with us.Copy !req
1180. The Infinity?Copy !req
1181. - But how?
- Impossible.Copy !req
1182. This ship was not designed to return.Copy !req
1183. - It isn't even a ship.
- It is a miracle.Copy !req
1184. A major scientific achievement!Copy !req
1185. But who built it?Copy !req
1186. I think we might wanna retest
our space chimps' I.Q.'s.Copy !req
1187. Are you implying
the chimps built this ship?Copy !req
1188. We may never know who built it,
but they brought it home.Copy !req
1189. - Senator!
- Senator, were you wrong to
shut down the space agency?Copy !req
1190. I-Well, I-Copy !req
1191. I'd like to announce
the opening of a high-tech facility...Copy !req
1192. devoted to the exploration
of deepest space.Copy !req
1193. With first-class facilities for the chimps...Copy !req
1194. and with a make-your-own sundae bar.Copy !req
1195. - Personalized-
- And personalized pocket protectors
for everyone!Copy !req
1196. - Excuse me? Excuse me?
- Excuse me?Copy !req
1197. - Can I-
- Excuse me, over here!Copy !req
1198. Pardon me! Pardon me!
Did the chimps encounter alien life?Copy !req
1199. We will have to launch another mission
to ever know for sure.Copy !req
1200. - Ready, Luna?
- Ready, Captain.Copy !req
1201. - Big fella?
- Born ready, cannonball.Copy !req
1202. Streamers!Copy !req