1. Cred has more electrolytesCopy !req
2. than Gatorade or Prime.Copy !req
3. And now Cred has a new flavor:
Cherry Bubblegum.Copy !req
4. Eric, do you really need
to bring three bottlesCopy !req
5. of that drink to school?Copy !req
6. Mom, a kid today is defined
by their hydration drink.Copy !req
7. I have to have more Cred
than anyone else.Copy !req
8. Yeah, but it's, like, seriously,Copy !req
9. look at how it's suddenly
everybody now.Copy !req
10. Like that Spencer Hollis kid.Copy !req
11. He never even cared about Cred,Copy !req
12. he just drinks it
'cause some stupid influencerCopy !req
13. said it's cool now.Copy !req
14. Hey, hey, Clyde,
where's your Cred?Copy !req
15. Oh, um, it's in my...
I-I already drank it.Copy !req
16. See? That's what
I'm talking about.Copy !req
17. Clyde likes Cred so much that
he drank all his before noon.Copy !req
18. That's a real Cred drinker.Copy !req
19. Unlike all the poser
Cred drinkersCopy !req
20. like Spencer Hollis!Copy !req
21. Fuck you.Copy !req
22. Fuck you, Spencer,
you're a fucking poser!Copy !req
23. It's literally everywhere now.Copy !req
24. These crazy hydration drinks
that say they're healthy,Copy !req
25. but are loaded with fake sugars
and not safe for children.Copy !req
26. Why now? Why are kids
suddenly so into these things?Copy !req
27. Online influencers.Copy !req
28. They promote this stuff to kids
to make money.Copy !req
29. I don't know what kind of
scumbags would push adult thingsCopy !req
30. - on something they know
kids will watch.
- (pounding on door)Copy !req
31. You guys, we have a big problem.Copy !req
32. - What is it?
- It's about the South ParkCopy !req
33. elementary art teacher.Copy !req
34. Mrs. Streibel? What about her?Copy !req
35. We just found out
that she's been...Copy !req
36. doing pornographic videos
on OnlyFans.Copy !req
37. - Oh, no.
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
38. There's gonna be
a big meeting tonight,Copy !req
39. and everybody's gonna see it.Copy !req
40. Everyone, let's try
to be civil here.Copy !req
41. Be civil?
How are we supposed to go homeCopy !req
42. and explain to our children that
their art teacher is a slut?Copy !req
43. She is not a slut.Copy !req
44. Mrs. Streibel is a woman
engaging in a legal activityCopy !req
45. on a website
that is for adults only.Copy !req
46. Of course kids are gonna see it.Copy !req
47. - They see everything
on the Internet.
- (agreeing chatter)Copy !req
48. Well, the problem is you guys
buy your kids phones, okay?Copy !req
49. Just like you buy them all these
unhealthy hydration drinks.Copy !req
50. Oh, don't turn this
around on us.Copy !req
51. We can't control
what our kids drinkCopy !req
52. or what they watch.Copy !req
53. They're your kids.Copy !req
54. Many teachers
are struggling to get byCopy !req
55. and need ways to supplement
their income.Copy !req
56. Mrs. Streibel makes close
to minimum wage as a teacher,Copy !req
57. but on OnlyFans, she makes
an extra $10,000 a week.Copy !req
58. It doesn't matter
how much she made,Copy !req
59. we're talking about someone
who influences our children.Copy !req
60. Did she say $10,000 a week?Copy !req
61. Listen, we have suspendedCopy !req
62. Mrs. Streibel indefinitely,
okay?Copy !req
63. But over the next few days,Copy !req
64. you should probably talk
to your kidsCopy !req
65. about what they might
have seen, m'kay.Copy !req
66. Uh, hey, Clyde, w-why don't you
come over here and have a seat?Copy !req
67. What?Copy !req
68. Uh, have a seat, pal.
We need to talk to you.Copy !req
69. Clyde...Copy !req
70. we're understanding
that some tough thingsCopy !req
71. have been going on at school.Copy !req
72. Yes. Yes, they have.Copy !req
73. All right, well, we know
that some of the stuffCopy !req
74. you're dealing with
might be kind of disturbing.Copy !req
75. Yes, it's totally disturbing,
yes.Copy !req
76. All right, Clyde, well,
we want to try and help you.Copy !req
77. Really? You do?Copy !req
78. Oh, thank God. Finally.Copy !req
79. Yeah, pal,
let-let me explain to youCopy !req
80. what "double penetration" is.Copy !req
81. Double penetration?Copy !req
82. See, in your art teacher's
OnlyFans page,Copy !req
83. her and two men,
who love each other very much,Copy !req
84. wanted to express that love...Copy !req
85. Dad, nobody cares
about double penetration.Copy !req
86. My life at school is awful
because you don't let me drinkCopy !req
87. hydrating sports drinks
like all the other kids.Copy !req
88. Clyde, we've told you,
those things are filledCopy !req
89. with additives and fake sugar,Copy !req
90. and they're not good
for children.Copy !req
91. You're not even
my real mom, Janice,Copy !req
92. so why don't you
shut the fuck up?Copy !req
93. Clyde, that's enough.Copy !req
94. Every other kid at school
is allowed to have it.Copy !req
95. They all have Cred,
but I have zero CredCopy !req
96. because my dad
and his stupid girlfriendCopy !req
97. think it's bad for me.Copy !req
98. Why do you want to be
like all the other kids?Copy !req
99. Shut up, Janice,
you're not my mom!Copy !req
100. All right, Clyde, we're trying
to have a nice talk with youCopy !req
101. about double penetration,Copy !req
102. and you can just go
to your room now.Copy !req
103. Fine!Copy !req
104. Thanks a lot
for making sure your sonCopy !req
105. is the only kid in school
without any Cred!Copy !req
106. It's like nobody
understands me, you know?Copy !req
107. Like, all these stupid boomers
and people over 40Copy !req
108. don't know how hard it is
for young people.Copy !req
109. - Yeah.
- Like, yo, if you guysCopy !req
110. feel the same way,
just leave a comment down belowCopy !req
111. and smash that like button.Copy !req
112. You know, the most important
thing is just to be yourself.Copy !req
113. And when I feel like
I can't be myself,Copy !req
114. that's when I need a hydration
drink that'll pick me up.Copy !req
115. - That's when I need Cred.
- (groans)Copy !req
116. It's the coolest sports drink
in the world.Copy !req
117. Cred is 100% sugar-free.Copy !req
118. Cred has electrolytes
so you can ride your bike.Copy !req
119. And also,
Cred has more vitamin ACopy !req
120. than your body
could possibly ever use.Copy !req
121. I can't feel my face.Copy !req
122. Drink Cred
or you're a piece of shit.Copy !req
123. Drink Cred at your school today.Copy !req
124. Hey, guys, I know there's
a lot of influencers out thereCopy !req
125. trying to get your attention.Copy !req
126. And I just hope that
you'll maybe take a momentCopy !req
127. to check out what I have to say
here on My OnlyFans page.Copy !req
128. I hope you're all doing great,
and if you're watching this PPV,Copy !req
129. I hope you'll consider
subscribing.Copy !req
130. If you want me
to give a shout-outCopy !req
131. for your social media,
I can do that.Copy !req
132. And if you want a custom,
just let me knowCopy !req
133. if there's anything special
you want to see.Copy !req
134. - What the fuck are you doing?
- Oh! Hey, Sharon,Copy !req
135. just supplementing my income.Copy !req
136. Are you serious right now?Copy !req
137. All right, all right,
Sharon, yes,Copy !req
138. I am an OnlyFans model.Copy !req
139. And I'm not ashamed of it.Copy !req
140. Goddamn it, Randy.Copy !req
141. What is with all the stigma
Americans have anyway, huh?Copy !req
142. It's just my penis, Sharon.
It's not a big deal.Copy !req
143. No, it's definitely
not a big deal.Copy !req
144. Okay, good. Thank you.Copy !req
145. All I'm doing
is taking back controlCopy !req
146. of my sexuality on a platformCopy !req
147. that I can benefit from
financially.Copy !req
148. So you're just gonna sit here
and jack offCopy !req
149. for four hours a week just
to make a few extra dollars?Copy !req
150. I jack off
two hours a week anyways.Copy !req
151. Now I just do it
a little bit moreCopy !req
152. and make enough money to pay
for the increase in gas prices.Copy !req
153. If your children find out
about this,Copy !req
154. they are going to leave home.Copy !req
155. Children aren't allowed
on OnlyFans, Sharon.Copy !req
156. It's totally safe.Copy !req
157. Kids aren't gonna see this.Copy !req
158. Hey, Butters, Tweek,
you guys got a second?Copy !req
159. - For what?
- Okay, you know how, like,Copy !req
160. some kids in this school
really like CredCopy !req
161. and others just pretend to,Copy !req
162. but really they're posers
like Spencer Hollis?Copy !req
163. Well, I think we should
start a Cred affinity group.Copy !req
164. What's an affinity group?Copy !req
165. It's where you, like,
divide people into groupsCopy !req
166. and single them out in order
to make other people feel bad.Copy !req
167. See, it's like
we're the legit Cred drinkers,Copy !req
168. and we should just let
the very coolest kidsCopy !req
169. into our affinity group.Copy !req
170. Oh, hey, Clyde.Copy !req
171. - Where's your Cred?
- Oh, it's just, uh...Copy !req
172. - it's, uh, in my backpack again.
- Oh, that's cool.Copy !req
173. You guys think we should let
Clyde into our affinity group?Copy !req
174. Yeah, I like Clyde.Copy !req
175. Oh, hey, Stan. Do you want
to be in our affinity group?Copy !req
176. - What's an affinity group?
- It's like where people separateCopy !req
177. into little clubs by, like,
skin color or religious beliefsCopy !req
178. and talk about how much better
they are than everyone else.Copy !req
179. Usually, white people
can't be in an affinity group,Copy !req
180. but it's for a drink,
so they have to let us.Copy !req
181. That's not what
an affinity group is.Copy !req
182. Uh, yeah, well,
no one's inviting you, Kyle.Copy !req
183. 'Cause it looks like
you don't even have any Cred.Copy !req
184. Yeah, I do, it's in my backpack.Copy !req
185. Oh, sure,
it's in his backpack, guys.Copy !req
186. Yeah, let's see it, then.Copy !req
187. It's right here. We drink
way more Cred than you guys do.Copy !req
188. Oh, yeah, right. Tweek drinks
four bottles of CredCopy !req
189. - for breakfast.
- (grunting)Copy !req
190. I don't want to be a part
of any affinity group.Copy !req
191. It just sounds like trouble.Copy !req
192. Yeah, well, we don't want you.Copy !req
193. 'Cause you just pretend
to like CredCopy !req
194. 'cause it's a fad right nowCopy !req
195. like all the other lame-o's
in this school.Copy !req
196. Hey, guys.Copy !req
197. Hey, Clyde, you got a sec?Copy !req
198. - For what?
- I was just gonna talk to you
about your backpack.Copy !req
199. - W-What about my backpack?
- Well, it's just...Copy !req
200. You know, it's really best
to have a backpackCopy !req
201. that's got a water bottle pouch
to put your Cred in.Copy !req
202. See, like, see how
y-you can see, like,Copy !req
203. you can see my Cred bottle
from the outside?Copy !req
204. You just go like this,
and everyone-everyoneCopy !req
205. can see your Cred?
You're just like,Copy !req
206. "Oh, hey, what's going on?Copy !req
207. "Oh, yeah, sweet,
check out my Cred.Copy !req
208. It's, like, right here."Copy !req
209. Um, well, I-I don't thinkCopy !req
210. I can get a new backpack
till my birthday.Copy !req
211. Well, maybe just, like,
use some tape or somethingCopy !req
212. to make your own bottle pouch?Copy !req
213. You know, we definitely
don't want you to lookCopy !req
214. like you don't have any Cred.Copy !req
215. (chuckles) All right,
see you in class, brah.Copy !req
216. Hey, Sharon. Can we talk?Copy !req
217. I feel like there's
a lot bad things going onCopy !req
218. in the world, and it gets so
confusing sometimes, you know?Copy !req
219. I think, as Americans, we watch
news about things happeningCopy !req
220. in the Middle East and we just
don't want to get involved.Copy !req
221. And I know it can feel like
"What can I do?Copy !req
222. I'm not special, how could I
ever make a difference?"Copy !req
223. But we can't let ourselves
think like that.Copy !req
224. Sometimes what it takesCopy !req
225. is just one person
to start a movement.Copy !req
226. One person, and then
everyone else might follow.Copy !req
227. I am not subscribing
to your OnlyFans page, Randy.Copy !req
228. Okay, well, you're a cunt.Copy !req
229. Yeah, that looks good.Copy !req
230. Maybe a little higher
on your side, Butters.Copy !req
231. Yeah, that's great. I think
everyone can see that now.Copy !req
232. That should definitely
make people feel unwelcome.Copy !req
233. Hey.Copy !req
234. Hey...Copy !req
235. What's goin' on?Copy !req
236. So... are you, like,
selling Cred?Copy !req
237. What? Selling hydration drinks
on school groundsCopy !req
238. is against the rules.Copy !req
239. Come here, come here.Copy !req
240. What the— Hey, what are you—
What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
241. (quietly):
If you're wearing a wire,
I will kick your ass.Copy !req
242. Bro, I'm not wearing a wire!
Do you have Cred or not?Copy !req
243. Sure, I got Cred.
What are ya looking for?Copy !req
244. A little...
Watermelon Strawberry?Copy !req
245. No, no, do you have any onesCopy !req
246. that don't taste like total ass?Copy !req
247. Oh, you want the good shit.Copy !req
248. I got your Bubblegum Grape
right here.Copy !req
249. Okay, how much?Copy !req
250. Eighty bucks.Copy !req
251. $80? For a shitty
fake-sugar drink?Copy !req
252. What do you think
I'm runnin' here,Copy !req
253. a fucking charity
for the homeless?Copy !req
254. How about some
Oatmeal Nummy Nums?Copy !req
255. I can get you into that for $65.Copy !req
256. I don't have $65.
What can I get for three bucks?Copy !req
257. Three bucks? Oh, sure.Copy !req
258. For that, you can get
an empty Cred bottle.Copy !req
259. - What good is that gonna do me?
- It's easy.Copy !req
260. You just fill
your empty bottle with water,Copy !req
261. add a little food coloring.Copy !req
262. Everyone thinks you got Cred
when you actually have no Cred.Copy !req
263. I'm not giving you three dollars
for just plastic garbage!Copy !req
264. Cool thing, man.Copy !req
265. You just go back into the school
without any Cred at all.Copy !req
266. See how long you last.Copy !req
267. Here!Copy !req
268. Hey, guys, it's your boy Randy,Copy !req
269. and in this video we're doing
authentic pad ThaiCopy !req
270. for under $6.Copy !req
271. Now we're gonna start
with some medium shrimpCopy !req
272. and some rice noodles.Copy !req
273. For the wet ingredients,
we're looking at a couple eggs,Copy !req
274. some fish and also soy sauce.Copy !req
275. And then for garnish, we're
gonna do a little cilantro,Copy !req
276. green onion, and then of course,Copy !req
277. we're gonna top that all off
with some fresh nuts.Copy !req
278. Those nuts are gonna give it
that extra bite.Copy !req
279. Now, if you like
what you're seeingCopy !req
280. be sure to smash
that subscribe button.Copy !req
281. - And—
- Get your balls off the table!Copy !req
282. Oh, oh, great Sharon
you just ruined the shot!Copy !req
283. The guys at the deli wanted me
to say hi, Randy.Copy !req
284. They all saw you on OnlyFans.Copy !req
285. Really?
Are they gonna subscribe?Copy !req
286. No, they're not going
to subscribe.Copy !req
287. Nobody's going
to subscribe, Randy.Copy !req
288. Will you fucking stop?Copy !req
289. This stuff takes time!Copy !req
290. You don't just put up a page
and immediately get followers.Copy !req
291. You have to support it
with other social media,Copy !req
292. have a craft to teach...Copy !req
293. Being an influencer
takes time, Sharon!Copy !req
294. Oh, so now
you're an influencer?Copy !req
295. Yes! I'm an influencer.Copy !req
296. Maybe you should see
how it feels, Randy.Copy !req
297. Maybe I should go
and do my own OnlyFans.Copy !req
298. (chuckling):
What? What?Copy !req
299. Yeah, like people are gonna pay
to see your OnlyFans.Copy !req
300. I'll make more than you do!Copy !req
301. Sharon, being
an influencer is work.Copy !req
302. You got to pay for the lighting,
for the sound,Copy !req
303. you got to be good at editing!Copy !req
304. Okay. Cool, Randy.Copy !req
305. I'm gonna go start
an OnlyFans channel.Copy !req
306. Ok-okay.
Okay, you go do that, Sharon!Copy !req
307. I'm gonna fuckin' do it!Copy !req
308. Okay, yeah, go supplement
our income, Shar...Copy !req
309. Sharon?Copy !req
310. You got this day, bro!Copy !req
311. You're strong and I'm gonna
keep on making videos for you.Copy !req
312. Hey, guys, we're having
a Cred affinity group meetingCopy !req
313. today at 4:00.
Nobody's allowed but us, okay?Copy !req
314. Hey, Jordan.Copy !req
315. We're having a meeting today.
You can't come.Copy !req
316. Affinity group meeting
today, Sally.Copy !req
317. You're not invited.Copy !req
318. Well, I think that's just
about everyone.Copy !req
319. Tweek, did you tell
Spencer HollisCopy !req
320. he's not allowed
in the affinity group?Copy !req
321. Yeah. You told me
to call him last night.Copy !req
322. He didn't seem to care.Copy !req
323. - Yeah, he cares.
- Oh, there's Clyde!Copy !req
324. Hey, Clyde. Look at you
with your nice new backpack.Copy !req
325. Oh, uh, yeah.
You guys like it?Copy !req
326. Yeah, it's really cool.Copy !req
327. You can see your Cred now.Copy !req
328. Yeah, it's really nice
the way your Cred is—Copy !req
329. Oh, my God! Clyde!
You got Moonrise Mellow?Copy !req
330. How the hell did you get
a bottle of Moonrise Mellow?Copy !req
331. Oh, it was just, uh,
what my parents gave me today.Copy !req
332. You guys,
Moonrise Mellow is, like,Copy !req
333. the hardest flavor to get ever.Copy !req
334. - Whoa, lucky.
- Yeah, hey, I'm not sharing.Copy !req
335. - Hey, Stan. Hey, Stan.
- No, no, dude, wait.Copy !req
336. Check out what Clyde has.
Moonrise Mellow.Copy !req
337. That's impossible.Copy !req
338. (laughs)
Look at their faces.Copy !req
339. They're so jealous.Copy !req
340. No, it's really impossible.Copy !req
341. Moonrise Mellow was
discontinued months ago.Copy !req
342. Guess you wish now that you were
in the Cred affinity group.Copy !req
343. We told you guys we have better
Cred than anyone at school.Copy !req
344. It's probably fake.Copy !req
345. Oh! Oh, you think
it's fake, huh?Copy !req
346. You want to fucking taste it?Copy !req
347. (sputters)
What the fuck?Copy !req
348. This is fucking apple juice.
Gross!Copy !req
349. - Let's see.
- Hey, give it back.Copy !req
350. Yeah, it's apple juice.
You guys are posers.Copy !req
351. We're not posers!Copy !req
352. Hey, guys. Cred affinity group
uses fake Cred.Copy !req
353. What the fuck?Copy !req
354. What the fuck
have you done, Clyde?Copy !req
355. I'm sorry, okay?Copy !req
356. Oh, he's sorry.Copy !req
357. He faked having Cred,
but he's sorry!Copy !req
358. All right, look, my parents
won't let me drink Cred, okay?Copy !req
359. They think it's bad for me.Copy !req
360. So you never had Cred?Copy !req
361. No.Copy !req
362. Oh, my God!Copy !req
363. We all said you had Cred
in your backpack, Clyde.Copy !req
364. We fucking backed you!Copy !req
365. What the hell are we gonna do?Copy !req
366. Why do you guys care?Copy !req
367. I'm the one who doesn't
have any Cred!Copy !req
368. That's not how it works, man!Copy !req
369. If you don't have Cred,
then everyone around youCopy !req
370. loses all their Cred.Copy !req
371. We're dead.
We're fuckin' dead.Copy !req
372. Word is gonna spread
through the schoolCopy !req
373. that our affinity group
has no CredCopy !req
374. and then we're gonna—
(gags)Copy !req
375. How could you do this
to us, Clyde?Copy !req
376. I'm sorry.
It was all the pressure.Copy !req
377. I never even wanted to be
in an affinity group.Copy !req
378. Now I'm doomed!Copy !req
379. Ooh... oh. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
380. - You like that, guys?
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
381. - Oh... Oh, God.
- Oh, my God. She did it.Copy !req
382. - Mm... Oh, yeah.
- She actually did it.Copy !req
383. - She actually got
more subscribers than me.
- Ooh, yeah, guys.Copy !req
384. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
385. Just let me know
if there's anything specialCopy !req
386. you'd like to see, guys.Copy !req
387. - 3,100 subscribers.
- Ooh...Copy !req
388. - Oh, oh, yeah...
- How is that possible?Copy !req
389. I mean, look at that,
the lighting sucks.Copy !req
390. The sound keeps clippingCopy !req
391. like she got a microphone
at Walmart or something.Copy !req
392. And who's that guy?
He's blocking half the shot.Copy !req
393. - Oh, oh, ooh...
- This is total amateur hour!Copy !req
394. Thanks for calling
OnlyFans customer support.Copy !req
395. How can I help you?Copy !req
396. Yeah, I just found out
that my wife hasCopy !req
397. an OnlyFans page,Copy !req
398. and in one day she has
more subscribers than me.Copy !req
399. I'm starting to think
this whole thing is rigged.Copy !req
400. Well, it is slightly easierCopy !req
401. for our female content creators
to find an audience.Copy !req
402. Look, my wife can't become
a bigger influencer than me.Copy !req
403. I'll never hear the end of it.Copy !req
404. Well, sir, have you been tryingCopy !req
405. the pointers we discussed
to reach a larger audience?Copy !req
406. Yes! I added a skill.Copy !req
407. I'm advertising my OnlyFans page
with TikTok and Instagram.Copy !req
408. What about optimizing
your algorithm?Copy !req
409. Oh, um, how do I do that?Copy !req
410. No, no, no.
Not with your penis.Copy !req
411. See, what a lot
of influencers will do isCopy !req
412. they talk about things
and show things in their videosCopy !req
413. that are trending.Copy !req
414. Then you can hashtag that,Copy !req
415. and the search engines will
think your content is trending.Copy !req
416. So I... add stuff to my videos
that's popular,Copy !req
417. and people will
accidentally go to my pageCopy !req
418. trying to search
for that popular thing.Copy !req
419. Exactly.Copy !req
420. That's perfect!Copy !req
421. But what's trending most
on the Internet right now?Copy !req
422. Oh, hey there, Clyde.
How was school?Copy !req
423. You want to know how school was?Copy !req
424. It fucking sucked!Copy !req
425. All I wanted was to have
a little bit of Cred at school,Copy !req
426. but now I've destroyed it
and everyone hates me!Copy !req
427. Oh, Clyde, we're always trying
to do what's best for you.Copy !req
428. And you shut
the fuck up, Janice!Copy !req
429. - You are not my mom.
- Clyde!Copy !req
430. I seriously can't stand
how stupid people are sometimes.Copy !req
431. That's why I do
all my pranks and stuff.Copy !req
432. Sometimes it's impossible
to stay positiveCopy !req
433. when everyone sucks so hard.Copy !req
434. If you like
what I'm saying in this video,Copy !req
435. smash that like button
down below.Copy !req
436. You know, the thing is,Copy !req
437. when you really feel
the most down,Copy !req
438. that's when you got to
fight the hardest, you know?Copy !req
439. I'm gonna give you 10 tips
to being tougher.Copy !req
440. But first I want to give
a shout-out to our sponsorCopy !req
441. Cred hydration drinks!Copy !req
442. Cred gives you all
the energy you need!Copy !req
443. And now Cred has an all-new
exclusive flavor.Copy !req
444. Introducing new Mega Cred.Copy !req
445. It's a super limited editionCopy !req
446. only available
to a select few.Copy !req
447. And Cred's doing a big giveawayCopy !req
448. and maybe these super limited
edition bottles can be yours.Copy !req
449. So I looked it up,Copy !req
450. and there's this drink
called CredCopy !req
451. that's the most searched thing
on the internet.Copy !req
452. I figured if I can get my handsCopy !req
453. on some of the more
hard to get bottlesCopy !req
454. and put them in my videos,
maybe I'll get more traffic.Copy !req
455. Everyone says maybe
you can help me.Copy !req
456. Cred? What's Cred?
Never heard of it.Copy !req
457. Okay, look,
I'm not wearing a wire.Copy !req
458. You want to see?Copy !req
459. No, no, I don't want to see!
What the hell is wrong with you?Copy !req
460. I'm looking for a lot of Cred.Copy !req
461. Maybe I can even get themCopy !req
462. to eventually sponsor
my adult web channel.Copy !req
463. Oh, okay. Then you'll wantCopy !req
464. some of the harder stuff
that's marketedCopy !req
465. for adults only.Copy !req
466. Like maybe...
Peppa Pig Peppermint.Copy !req
467. That doesn't sound like
it's marketed for adults.Copy !req
468. Oh, well, maybe you want to try
the I'm a Big Boy Blueberry.Copy !req
469. All right, look, just—
How much for the whole bag?Copy !req
470. You want my whole bag of Cred?Copy !req
471. I want you to supply meCopy !req
472. with every bottle of Cred
you can find.Copy !req
473. I have to have more subscribers
than my wife.Copy !req
474. Eric, sweetie,
are you feeling any better?Copy !req
475. No, Mom, I'm dying.Copy !req
476. I've been completely
discredited.Copy !req
477. Eric, everything is going
to be okay at school tomorrow.Copy !req
478. It's too late.Copy !req
479. I've already stepped down
as founder and chairmanCopy !req
480. of my own affinity group.Copy !req
481. You'll find my letter of
resignation on the nightstand.Copy !req
482. I'm choosing to step downCopy !req
483. before all those sick bastards
at school try and force me out.Copy !req
484. Well, you need to sit up
for just a minute.Copy !req
485. Your little friend Clyde
wants to talk to you.Copy !req
486. Clyde? No, no, no, no, no.
Do not let— Mom!Copy !req
487. Do not let Clyde in my—
Aw, goddamn it.Copy !req
488. What do you guys want?Copy !req
489. Eric, Clyde has an idea
that might save our Cred.Copy !req
490. Nothing is going to save
our Cred, you boners.Copy !req
491. Will you just listen?Copy !req
492. My influencer said there's
gonna be a big Cred promotionCopy !req
493. at a CVS in Pueblo.Copy !req
494. A promotion, great.Copy !req
495. They're gonna sell
a very limited quantityCopy !req
496. of an all-new Cred
that nobody's even tried yet.Copy !req
497. So we could ditch school,Copy !req
498. find a way to get to PuebloCopy !req
499. and come back with a Cred
nobody else can even get.Copy !req
500. We'd have our Cred back.Copy !req
501. We followed Clyde before,
you guys,Copy !req
502. and it cost us everything.Copy !req
503. Look, 50 cases of Cred,Copy !req
504. only available tomorrow
200 miles awayCopy !req
505. and then not available
for another six months.Copy !req
506. It's called Mega Cred.Copy !req
507. All right, you son of a bitch.Copy !req
508. Maybe our affinity group
isn't dead just yet.Copy !req
509. Hey, what up, guys?
It's your boy Randy.Copy !req
510. In this video,
I'm gonna be trying outCopy !req
511. six different flavors
of the newest sports drink.Copy !req
512. As you can see, I've got
lots of Cred. Do you like Cred?Copy !req
513. If so, leave a comment
down below,Copy !req
514. and maybe smash
that like button.Copy !req
515. Okay, we're gonna start
with Summer Popsicle.Copy !req
516. I guess it's pretty popular.
(sniffs)Copy !req
517. Smells okay.
Let's see how good it is.Copy !req
518. Ooh. Oh, okay, yeah.Copy !req
519. That one's kind of fizzy.Copy !req
520. K-Kind of fizzy,
but more on the penisCopy !req
521. than it is on them balls.Copy !req
522. Yeah, this is really nice.Copy !req
523. Oh. Oh, yeah, it looks good.Copy !req
524. Yeah, looks delicious.
Oishii.Copy !req
525. Hey If you're liking the
content, be sure to subscribe.Copy !req
526. Really helps the channel out.Copy !req
527. Let's move on
to another flavor now.Copy !req
528. This one's called
Purple Snow Globe.Copy !req
529. Let's see how it tastes.Copy !req
530. Ooh. Oh, yeah.
Yeah, that's a good one.Copy !req
531. Oh?Copy !req
532. Oh, my God!Copy !req
533. Hey, Sharon!Copy !req
534. Sharon, you got to see this!Copy !req
535. Oh, there you are, Sharon.Copy !req
536. Been out shopping with all
the money you made on OnlyFans?Copy !req
537. I'm ready to stop
whenever you are.Copy !req
538. Oh, ho! Yeah,
I don't think so, Sharon.Copy !req
539. I just had a video on TikTok
with 1,000 viewsCopy !req
540. and a video on Meta with 2,000!Copy !req
541. That's gonna drive all the
subscribers to my OnlyFans page.Copy !req
542. You said my penis wasn't
a big deal, and now look!Copy !req
543. What are you doing
to that Cred bottle?Copy !req
544. Oh, that's just
a little trend jumping.Copy !req
545. Randy, you know who
drinks Cred, right? Children!Copy !req
546. No, it's not even
suitable for children.Copy !req
547. Okay, this has to stop, Randy.Copy !req
548. The only views you're getting on
TikTok and Meta are from kids!Copy !req
549. That's not what
the data shows, Sharon.Copy !req
550. According to Meta and TikTok,Copy !req
551. their audience
is predominately peopleCopy !req
552. over the age of 22.Copy !req
553. That means it's not kids
who care about Cred,Copy !req
554. it's adults
who want to see my dick.Copy !req
555. Randy, please.
Let's just call it a tie, okay?Copy !req
556. Oh, I bet you'd love that now.Copy !req
557. Now that my OnlyFans is
about to be bigger than yours.Copy !req
558. I'm gonna beat your ass, honey!Copy !req
559. Oh, Jesus, now it looks
like they're doingCopy !req
560. a two-bottle max per person.Copy !req
561. O-Okay, so two bottles each.
That means we'll have eight.Copy !req
562. - Is that enough Cred?
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
563. No!Copy !req
564. (chanting): We want Cred!
We want Cred!Copy !req
565. We want Cred! We want Cred!Copy !req
566. Dude, there's like
2,000 kids here.Copy !req
567. Don't these losers have
anything better to doCopy !req
568. than fight over a shitty drink?Copy !req
569. Come on, we gotta make our way
to the front.Copy !req
570. Tom, I'm standing
outside the CVS in PuebloCopy !req
571. where thousands of children
have shown up to get some Cred.Copy !req
572. The fake sugar hydration drinkCopy !req
573. is considered
not suitable for childrenCopy !req
574. and yet kids
are literally fightingCopy !req
575. to get their hands
on this limited edition.Copy !req
576. I'll be covering the whole thing
live here on my OnlyFans page.Copy !req
577. Just DM me if there's anything
custom you'd like to see.Copy !req
578. Dude, this is fucking crazy!Copy !req
579. There's never gonna be
enough Cred for everybody!Copy !req
580. Oh, my God. No. No!Copy !req
581. It's fucking Spencer Hollis.Copy !req
582. Hey, stop pushing, kid.Copy !req
583. What's he doing here,
that dirty son a bitch?Copy !req
584. He fucking ditched school
to come get CredCopy !req
585. and he doesn't even like it!
He's a fucking poser!Copy !req
586. We want Cred! We want Cred!
We want Cred!Copy !req
587. The delivery truck!Copy !req
588. Ah!Copy !req
589. - Ah! Get away!
- Give me Cred!Copy !req
590. You're all a bunch
of animals! Ah!Copy !req
591. Cred! Give me the Cred!Copy !req
592. I got to have Cred!Copy !req
593. We want Cred! We want Cred!Copy !req
594. Okay, go, go, go!Copy !req
595. Okay, okay, it's here,
you bastards.Copy !req
596. - Come in and— Ah!
- I was here—Copy !req
597. Tweek's not gonna make it,
you guys.Copy !req
598. - Where is it?
- Where's the Cred?Copy !req
599. It's over there!Copy !req
600. Give me Cred!Copy !req
601. Me first! Me first!Copy !req
602. Give me the Cred!Copy !req
603. Ah! Ah!Copy !req
604. There's some, right there! Ah!Copy !req
605. It's gone! It's all gone!Copy !req
606. Mom!Copy !req
607. Spencer?Copy !req
608. Start the car! Start the car!Copy !req
609. Jesus Christ!Copy !req
610. Start the fucking car, Mom!Copy !req
611. Spencer's getting away
with the Cred!Copy !req
612. No!Copy !req
613. Well, these are extremely
impressive numbers.Copy !req
614. It looks like your content's
getting a lot of views online.Copy !req
615. Yeah, thanks.Copy !req
616. But you see,
what I'm trying to learn nowCopy !req
617. is how to take
all the views I'm gettingCopy !req
618. on like Instagram and stuff
and use themCopy !req
619. to make myself bigger.Copy !req
620. Well, we can help you with that.Copy !req
621. You know, to really succeed,Copy !req
622. you gotta ask yourself:Copy !req
623. What is it that you want
to achieve as an influencer?Copy !req
624. Well, what I really want to doCopy !req
625. is beat my wife.Copy !req
626. You want to beat your wife?Copy !req
627. I mean, don't we all?Copy !req
628. I-I don't understand,Copy !req
629. you want to beat your wife
on Instagram?Copy !req
630. I want to beat her on Instagram,Copy !req
631. I want to beat her on TikTok,Copy !req
632. but mostly I want to beat
the shit out of her on OnlyFansCopy !req
633. and make a lot
of money doing it.Copy !req
634. Hmm. Okay, well, if you can
get the kids to watchCopy !req
635. then we can find you a sponsor.Copy !req
636. Organizations will do anything
to reach kids these days.Copy !req
637. Oh, yeah, yeah,
but, see, my contentCopy !req
638. actually isn't suitable
for children.Copy !req
639. Right. I mean, the data showsCopy !req
640. kids aren't the main audience
for any of this stuff, right?Copy !req
641. - Right.
- Right.Copy !req
642. Mr. Marsh, the thing is,
a sponsor not only gets you cashCopy !req
643. but they also help
you push that algorithmCopy !req
644. so that their message
is heard through you.Copy !req
645. Oh, really?Copy !req
646. Yeah, there's gonna be
a lot of companiesCopy !req
647. that want to pay you to show
your videos to "not kids."Copy !req
648. But what we want to do
is get these sponsorsCopy !req
649. to bid against each other
for your audience.Copy !req
650. That's when you become
a big influencer.Copy !req
651. And then you can beat
your wife as much as you want.Copy !req
652. Wow.Copy !req
653. There's nothing.Copy !req
654. Just two more
broken Cred bottles.Copy !req
655. And a couple of cans
of SpaghettiOs.Copy !req
656. I don't think I can go back.Copy !req
657. Go back to what?Copy !req
658. Spencer Hollis
has all the Cred now.Copy !req
659. Tomorrow, he'll start
his own affinity groupCopy !req
660. and not let any of us in.Copy !req
661. Don't you guys think
this is all fucked up?Copy !req
662. Yeah, fucked up 'cause of you.Copy !req
663. No, I mean what
they're doing to us.Copy !req
664. Look at this. My influencer
told me to come down here.Copy !req
665. He knew there wasn't gonna
be enough Cred for everyone.Copy !req
666. It's like—
It's like they wanted to createCopy !req
667. this false scarcity.
Give all us kids FOMO.Copy !req
668. If anyone's a FOMO,
Clyde, it's you.Copy !req
669. You guys aren't listening.
We've been manipulated.Copy !req
670. If kids are willing to fight
and die over this,Copy !req
671. then what else would they be
willing to fight and die over?Copy !req
672. Nobody in school cared
about hydration drinksCopy !req
673. three weeks ago.Copy !req
674. My influencer convinced me
to come down here.Copy !req
675. What else is
he convincing me to do?Copy !req
676. So, maybe if we find
your influencer,Copy !req
677. then he can give us Cred?Copy !req
678. No!Copy !req
679. No, no, no.
I like your angle, Clyde.Copy !req
680. Maybe this whole thing
is a sham.Copy !req
681. If we can make
the whole thing look stupid,Copy !req
682. then we make a Cred
affinity group look stupid.Copy !req
683. Then Spencer Hollis will
have nothing to keep us out of.Copy !req
684. I just know there's more
to all this than we think.Copy !req
685. I know what town
my influencer lives in.Copy !req
686. I want some goddamn answers.Copy !req
687. Tweek, Butters,Copy !req
688. gather up all the Pop-Tarts
and SpaghettiOs you can.Copy !req
689. We move out at
oh-ninety-two-hundred.Copy !req
690. Can I help you?Copy !req
691. Yeah, hi, I'm a big influencer?Copy !req
692. My agent sent me here
to find a sponsor?Copy !req
693. - Name.
- Uh, Randy Marsh?Copy !req
694. It's with five Rs
because there was alreadyCopy !req
695. a Randy Marsh on TikTok.Copy !req
696. Put this around your neck.
Through that doorCopy !req
697. and wait with
the other influencers.Copy !req
698. Oh, okay, thanks.Copy !req
699. Okay, influencers, follow me,Copy !req
700. stand in a straight line
and step forwardCopy !req
701. when your number is called.Copy !req
702. Thank you, ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
703. We have some incredible
influencers available today.Copy !req
704. They are all
complete freelancersCopy !req
705. and looking for sponsors.Copy !req
706. First off, we have
influencer number 394Copy !req
707. This is BlinkyBlankyGirl.Copy !req
708. She has over 10,000 views
on Instagram,Copy !req
709. 6,800 on TikTokCopy !req
710. and is up-and-coming
on Meta and X.Copy !req
711. Who would like to own
this influencer?Copy !req
712. We'll start the bidding at 20.
20, do I hear 20?Copy !req
713. There's 20. Do I hear 25, 25?Copy !req
714. Let's hear 25, 25, 30.
(gibberish)Copy !req
715. 25 from Mattel Toys.Copy !req
716. Mattel Toys now
the highest bidder at 25.Copy !req
717. 25, who's gonna go for 30?
30, 30. (gibberish)Copy !req
718. 30! 30 from Lunchables!
Let's go 50.Copy !req
719. 50 now, who wants
the influencer?Copy !req
720. - 50, 50. (gibberish)
- 100!Copy !req
721. 100! 100 from the Chinese
government! Can we go 150?Copy !req
722. 150? (gibberish)Copy !req
723. 150, 150, yes!Copy !req
724. Stoli Vodka at 150.Copy !req
725. 150, the current bid
from Stoli Vodka.Copy !req
726. What about you, Build-A-Bear?Copy !req
727. Do we hear from Build-A-Bear?
(gibberish)Copy !req
728. 160! 160 from the NRA,
outbidding Stoli Vodka.Copy !req
729. Who wants to influence
the youngins more?Copy !req
730. 170 from Voices for Ukraine.Copy !req
731. Don't let them
outbid you, Russia.Copy !req
732. No? Chinese government? No?Copy !req
733. Sold to Voices for Ukraine.
Thank you.Copy !req
734. I don't understand
what happened.Copy !req
735. Just keep making
your stupid videos,Copy !req
736. they'll tell you what to say.Copy !req
737. Okay, next up we have
influencer number 226.Copy !req
738. This is Kevinlovesoranges.Copy !req
739. Over six million views
on TikTok, 4,600 on InstagramCopy !req
740. and a small following
on X and Meta.Copy !req
741. Who wants Kevinlovesoranges
to push their agenda?Copy !req
742. We'll start at 40, 40.
China in at 40, China at 40.Copy !req
743. Who's gonna go 50?
Russia with 50. (gibberish)Copy !req
744. 55, 60, Big Pharma at 60.Copy !req
745. 60. (gibberish)
Kellogg's Cereal.Copy !req
746. (gibberish) Ravenclaw Casinos.Copy !req
747. (gibberish)
Influence the children.Copy !req
748. Can I hear 70? Last call for 70.Copy !req
749. Sold to the Canadian government,
congratulations.Copy !req
750. Our next influencer, number 427.Copy !req
751. This is Randy Marrrrrsh.Copy !req
752. We'll start the bidding at 50.
50, do I hear 50? 50?Copy !req
753. 50? No? Come on, Mattel Toys.
Let's hear from you.Copy !req
754. How about 40? 40?Copy !req
755. How about 40, let's do 40?Copy !req
756. Freeze! Nobody move!Copy !req
757. Up here! He's up here!Copy !req
758. Are you Randy Marrrrrsh?Copy !req
759. - Yeah?
- All right, we got him.Copy !req
760. Hands behind your back.Copy !req
761. Me? I didn't do anything.Copy !req
762. I'm just trying
to beat my wife. (chokes)Copy !req
763. On your knees!
Hands behind your back now!Copy !req
764. Hello? Logan LaDouche?Copy !req
765. - Hello? We know you're in there.
- (lock clicks)Copy !req
766. Go away.
I'm in enough trouble as it is.Copy !req
767. Look, dude, we just want
to talk to you, okay?Copy !req
768. No, not okay. I'm in hiding.Copy !req
769. How did you guys find me?Copy !req
770. Dude, if you're in hiding,
you shouldn't probably postCopy !req
771. videos of yourself
at the motel you're hiding in.Copy !req
772. Shit. Shit,
I just can't help myself.Copy !req
773. Brah, we need to know
the truth about Cred.Copy !req
774. I'm sorry, okay?
I didn't mean to cause a riot.Copy !req
775. Did Cred want us all
to kill each other?Copy !req
776. If you found me,
then so can they. Just go.Copy !req
777. Okay, okay, fine,
Mr. Influencer,Copy !req
778. we'll leave.
(shouts)Copy !req
779. - Yeah.
- (shouts) What the fuck
are you doing?Copy !req
780. Where's the Cred?
You got some Cred?Copy !req
781. Butters, Butters, calm down.Copy !req
782. They're gonna take me out, man.Copy !req
783. I should just turn myself in.
I'll be safer in jail.Copy !req
784. Listen, dude, I went to Pueblo
'cause of you.Copy !req
785. Why did you tell us
we could get Mega CredCopy !req
786. when you knew
there wasn't enough?Copy !req
787. Brah, I don't even
drink that crap.Copy !req
788. Don't you get it, man?Copy !req
789. I'm just this tiny little piece
of a very big lie.Copy !req
790. You guys are all
being manipulated.Copy !req
791. I trusted you.
I've watched all your videos,Copy !req
792. and you told me to be strong
and never give up.Copy !req
793. That's all just Cred
messing with me?Copy !req
794. Don't you get it?
I don't work for Cred.Copy !req
795. The Cred is just there
to get views, man.Copy !req
796. 'Cause kids love it so much.Copy !req
797. But if Cred isn't your sponsor,
then-then who is?Copy !req
798. If you knew,
it would make you sick.Copy !req
799. They just use you and Cred
to get to us,Copy !req
800. and those higher-up peopleCopy !req
801. can get us
some limited-edition Cred?Copy !req
802. - Who has the Cred?
- Butters, Jesus.Copy !req
803. Oh, there-there she is.Copy !req
804. Hey, Sharon.Copy !req
805. This is my wife, Sharon.Copy !req
806. She's an OnlyFans model
just like me.Copy !req
807. We are both legally
supplementing our income.Copy !req
808. So you work
with your husband, ma'am?Copy !req
809. No, we have very different
OnlyFans accounts.Copy !req
810. I could never do what he does.Copy !req
811. Thanks, honey, it's nice for you
to finally admit it.Copy !req
812. Now I'd like to know
what I'm being detained for.Copy !req
813. Exposing children
to pornography,Copy !req
814. soliciting nude images
to a minor,Copy !req
815. child endangerment...Copy !req
816. Oh, come on, like it's just me?Copy !req
817. Everybody's doing it.Copy !req
818. There's an entire network
where everyone just pretendsCopy !req
819. Internet platforms
aren't made for childrenCopy !req
820. but they all auction our kids
to the highest bidder.Copy !req
821. You seem like some kind of
influencer expert.Copy !req
822. Would you say these things
on record?Copy !req
823. No, 'cause
I'm a sovereign citizen,Copy !req
824. and I don't need to tell you
anything. (blows raspberry)Copy !req
825. - Randy, you need to cooperate.
- Why?Copy !req
826. I'll tell you why, scumbag.Copy !req
827. Your posts drew in
a lot of children,Copy !req
828. and they like to copy
what they see.Copy !req
829. So then kids started creating
their own erotic contentCopy !req
830. based on yours.Copy !req
831. - What?
- That's right.Copy !req
832. We've just found
sexuality explicit,Copy !req
833. pornographic images of minors.Copy !req
834. I warn you,
what you are about to seeCopy !req
835. is extremely disturbing
and graphic.Copy !req
836. Oh, God. Ugh.Copy !req
837. Oh, don't close your eyes now.Copy !req
838. You think these miners deserved
to be treated like this?Copy !req
839. What have I done? I had no idea.Copy !req
840. Randy, you knew kids were
watching your content.Copy !req
841. Yeah, but I never knew
it would lead to...Copy !req
842. pornographic images of miners.Copy !req
843. God, it's disgusting.Copy !req
844. Being an influencer
is disgusting.Copy !req
845. All right, I'm gonna tell you
everything I knowCopy !req
846. about how the system works.Copy !req
847. This has to stop.Copy !req
848. Hey, what's up, guys?Copy !req
849. Just wanted to let you all know
that I thinkCopy !req
850. maybe I'm gonna get killed
or arrested,Copy !req
851. so I'm hiding out
in this motel room.Copy !req
852. Be sure to like and subscribe.
It really helps the channel out.Copy !req
853. Dude, will you stop
making videos?Copy !req
854. I don't know what else
to do, okay?Copy !req
855. All I've ever done
is make fucking videos.Copy !req
856. But for who?
You said it wasn't for Cred,Copy !req
857. so then who sponsors you?Copy !req
858. I just wanted to be
a big influencer.Copy !req
859. So I got put on this stage
and I was auctioned offCopy !req
860. to the highest bidder.Copy !req
861. People will pay anything to push
their agenda on you guys.Copy !req
862. What, you mean, like, the
Chinese government or something?Copy !req
863. I'm sponsored by people worse
than the Chinese government.Copy !req
864. I can't tell you who they are,
because then the companiesCopy !req
865. that run the whole system
will have me killed.Copy !req
866. We deserve to know
who's been manipulating us.Copy !req
867. Tell us the truth and we'll
make sure you're safe, okay?Copy !req
868. You promise?Copy !req
869. Yes, we promise.Copy !req
870. Fine.Copy !req
871. The truth is,
I'm being paid by...Copy !req
872. Whoops!Copy !req
873. - (screams)
- Okay, okay.Copy !req
874. We don't care who's trying
to influence us!Copy !req
875. The game is up, scumbag.Copy !req
876. We know about
the whole operation.Copy !req
877. - (megaphone static)
- We know everything.Copy !req
878. The influencers are being paid
by organizationsCopy !req
879. to knowingly influence children.Copy !req
880. - (megaphone static)
The data shows
that consumersCopy !req
881. of social media platforms are
predominately adults over 21.Copy !req
882. Oh, come on.Copy !req
883. Within tech companies,
it's an open secretCopy !req
884. that millions of users are
actually under the age of 13.Copy !req
885. Tech companies
are working diligentlyCopy !req
886. to find ways to make
the Internet safer for children,Copy !req
887. but these methods
are often criticizedCopy !req
888. for violating free speech.Copy !req
889. Okay, and tech companies
use those assertionsCopy !req
890. and their endless cash to keep
regulations tied up in courtCopy !req
891. so they can continue
to profit off of our kids.Copy !req
892. Okay, well, you'll never
take me alive, copper.Copy !req
893. He's still alive.
Let's get City General out here.Copy !req
894. Who do you work for?
Who's trying to influence me?Copy !req
895. He's just the middleman, kids.Copy !req
896. Whoever was trying to influence
you is still a mystery.Copy !req
897. Hey, fellas, I got an idea.Copy !req
898. How about we just keep
our affinity group,Copy !req
899. but instead of it being
about Cred,Copy !req
900. it's just about how proud we are
of who we are.Copy !req
901. No, they won't let us do that,
Butters, 'cause we're white.Copy !req
902. White people can't be in groups
talking aboutCopy !req
903. how proud they are,
it doesn't fly.Copy !req
904. Dang it.Copy !req
905. Well, then, I guess
we just got to acceptCopy !req
906. that we're gonna
go to school tomorrowCopy !req
907. and get totally boned.Copy !req
908. Yep.Copy !req
909. Hey, look, you guys. It's Cred.Copy !req
910. Mr. Marsh? What are you doing
with all that Cred?Copy !req
911. I'm putting it where it belongs,
in the garbage.Copy !req
912. But that's, like, Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.Copy !req
913. Do you know what that's worth?Copy !req
914. Yeah, I know what it's worth.Copy !req
915. It's worth gold
to all the people in the worldCopy !req
916. who want to use social media
to influence children.Copy !req
917. But there's more to life
than making money.Copy !req
918. And there's more to marriage
than just beating your wife.Copy !req
919. The bottom line is thatCopy !req
920. all this social media
influencer garbageCopy !req
921. is not suitable for children.Copy !req
922. And if you're a kid
on social media,Copy !req
923. you have to know that someone
is always trying to get to you.Copy !req
924. All you have to do
is ask yourself,Copy !req
925. "Who is it that wants
to influence me the most?"Copy !req
926. Holy shit.Copy !req
927. Janice!Copy !req
928. Oh, Clyde, where have you been?
We've been worried sick.Copy !req
929. It was you, this whole time.Copy !req
930. You've been trying
to influence me for months.Copy !req
931. Clyde, you really should haveCopy !req
932. let your father know
where you were...Copy !req
933. You've been paying an influencer
to try and reach me,Copy !req
934. and you caused this whole
fucking mess!Copy !req
935. What is this about, Janice?Copy !req
936. I don't think people understand
how hard it is to be a stepmom.Copy !req
937. You want to try
and teach your kids,Copy !req
938. but they don't listen because
you're not their "real parent."Copy !req
939. I just wanted to be
a good influence on you, Clyde.Copy !req
940. But influencing kids these daysCopy !req
941. requires good lighting
and a quality microphone.Copy !req
942. But why Cred?
If you're so against it,Copy !req
943. then why have it
in all those videos?Copy !req
944. That was just to get
your views, Clyde.Copy !req
945. Your views
are so important to me,Copy !req
946. because we never talk.Copy !req
947. Maybe what I did
was all a bit much,Copy !req
948. but look at us.Copy !req
949. Here we are, talking.Copy !req
950. Janice, can I call you "Mom"?Copy !req
951. Yes, of course.Copy !req
952. Fuck you, Mom!Copy !req
953. (exhales):
Oh...Copy !req
954. Whoa, Spencer,
is that Mega Cred?Copy !req
955. Yeah, pretty cool, right?Copy !req
956. "Pretty cool"?
How'd you get that?Copy !req
957. Oh, I just went to this thing
in Pueblo. No big deal.Copy !req
958. Everyone! Everyone, can I have
your attention, please?Copy !req
959. We have something really
important to tell you guys.Copy !req
960. Tweek and Butters and I
have learnedCopy !req
961. a lot of things recently.Copy !req
962. We have news
that you will all find shocking.Copy !req
963. You see, we talked to Mr. Marsh,Copy !req
964. and he gave us four bottlesCopy !req
965. of Jelly Roll
Midnight Waffle House.Copy !req
966. - (cheering, screaming)
- No, no, no. Back up.Copy !req
967. This is for the Cred
affinity group only.Copy !req
968. - You can look at our Cred,
but don't touch.
- All right!Copy !req
969. Oh, oh, hey, Clyde.Copy !req
970. Say, Clyde, you, uh,Copy !req
971. forgot your super special
Jelly Roll CredCopy !req
972. at the group meeting, remember?Copy !req
973. It tastes amazing.Copy !req
974. - (cheering)
- All right!Copy !req
975. Yeah! Clyde's got Cred again!Copy !req