1. There's a bunch of birds in the skyCopy !req
2. And some deers just went running byCopy !req
3. Oh, the snow's pure and whiteCopy !req
4. On the earth rich and brownCopy !req
5. Just another Sunday morningCopy !req
6. In my quiet mountain townCopy !req
7. The sun is shining
And the grass is greenCopy !req
8. Under the three feet of snow I meanCopy !req
9. This is the day
When it's hard to wear a frownCopy !req
10. All the happy people stop
To say helloCopy !req
11. - Out of my way!
- Even though the temperature's lowCopy !req
12. It's a perfect Sunday morningCopy !req
13. In my quiet mountain townCopy !req
14. Well, good morning, Stan.Copy !req
15. - Mom, can I have $8 to see a movie?
- A movie?Copy !req
16. It'll be the best movie ever.
A foreign film from Canada.Copy !req
17. - All right. But be back for supper.
- Thanks, Mom.Copy !req
18. Oh, what a picture-perfect childCopy !req
19. Just like Jesus he's tender and mildCopy !req
20. He'd wear a smile
While he wore a thorny crownCopy !req
21. What an angel with a heart
So sweet and sureCopy !req
22. And a mind so open and pureCopy !req
23. Thank God we live
In this quiet redneck mountain townCopy !req
24. Dude! Dude, wake up!Copy !req
25. Kenny, come on!Copy !req
26. (Coming!)Copy !req
27. The Terrance and Phillip movie is out.
You wanna come?Copy !req
28. (Yeah, dude. Come on, let's go)Copy !req
29. Where do you think you're going?Copy !req
30. (To the Terrance and Phillip movie.)Copy !req
31. You can't.
You have to go to church!Copy !req
32. (But Mom, I wanna see this movie!)Copy !req
33. Well, fine.
Go ahead and miss church.Copy !req
34. When you die and go to hell,
you can answer to Satan!Copy !req
35. (...Okay.)Copy !req
36. You can see your breath
Hanging in the airCopy !req
37. You see homeless people
But you just don't careCopy !req
38. It's a sea of smiles
In which we'd be glad to drownCopy !req
39. (Don't you know? It's like a perfect winter day
And that I'm glad I can say)Copy !req
40. That's right!
It's Sunday morningCopy !req
41. In our quiet little
White-bread redneck mountain townCopy !req
42. - Ready, Ike? Kick the baby!
- Don't kick the baby.Copy !req
43. Kick the baby.Copy !req
44. Ike, you broke another window!
That's a bad baby. Bad baby!Copy !req
45. We're going to
the Terrance and Phillip movie.Copy !req
46. Oh, my God!Copy !req
47. Kyle, where are you going?Copy !req
48. - We're going ice-skating.
- Take your brother.Copy !req
49. He's not even my real brother.
He's adopted.Copy !req
50. Do as I say!Copy !req
51. Okay, I'm sorry.Copy !req
52. Look at those frail and fragile boysCopy !req
53. It really gets me downCopy !req
54. The world is such a rotten place
And city life's a complete disgraceCopy !req
55. That's why I moved to
This redneck "meshuggenah"Copy !req
56. Quiet mountain townCopy !req
57. Ike! Bad baby!Copy !req
58. Brought to you by Snacky Smores...Copy !req
59. ...the fun of s'mores in a cookie.Copy !req
60. Mom, somebody's at the door!Copy !req
61. - Coming, hon.
- I can't see the TV!Copy !req
62. It's been six weeks since Saddam
Hussein was killed by wild boars...Copy !req
63. ...and the world is
glad to be rid of him.Copy !req
64. Eric, it's your little friends.Copy !req
65. What are you doing here?Copy !req
66. Sweet, dude. Yes!Copy !req
67. Off to the movies we shall goCopy !req
68. Where we learn everything
That we knowCopy !req
69. 'Cause the movies teach us
What our parents don't have time to sayCopy !req
70. And this movie's gonna
Make our lives completeCopy !req
71. - 'Cause Terrance and Phillip are sweet
- Super sweet.Copy !req
72. Thank God we live in the quiet little
Redneck Podunk white trashCopy !req
73. (Kenny!)Copy !req
74. U.S.A.Copy !req
75. Can I have five tickets to
Terrance and Phillip "Asses of Fire"?Copy !req
76. No.Copy !req
77. What do you mean?Copy !req
78. "Asses of Fire" is rated R by the
Motion Picture Association of America.Copy !req
79. You must be accompanied
by a parent or guardian.Copy !req
80. - Why?
- This movie has naughty language!Copy !req
81. Next, please.Copy !req
82. - This can't be happening.
- We have to see it.Copy !req
83. Screw it.
It probably isn't good anyway.Copy !req
84. Cartman, what do you mean?
You love Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
85. But the animation's all crappy.Copy !req
86. Wait. I've got an idea.Copy !req
87. Hi. I want six tickets
to "Asses of Fire".Copy !req
88. This movie may not be appropriate
for the little ones.Copy !req
89. He says this movie
isn't appropriate for you.Copy !req
90. Mr. Homeless Guy,
if you don't want $10...Copy !req
91. ...to buy a bottle of vodka,
then be my guest.Copy !req
92. Six tickets, please.Copy !req
93. - Let me have some candy.
- Let's see.Copy !req
94. I don't have any Jewish candy.Copy !req
95. Like you need
all that chocolate, fat boy!Copy !req
96. The movie's starting.Copy !req
97. Hooray!Copy !req
98. Terrance, what did the Spanish priest
say to the Iranian gynecologist?Copy !req
99. I don't know, Phillip. What?Copy !req
100. Where do they find this stuff?Copy !req
101. You're such a pig-fucker, Phillip.Copy !req
102. What did he say?Copy !req
103. Why'd you call me a pig-fucker?Copy !req
104. Well, let's see.
First of all, you fuck pigs.Copy !req
105. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
106. Well, fuck my ass and call me a bitch.Copy !req
107. You shit-faced cockmaster.Copy !req
108. "Shit-faced cockmaster. "Copy !req
109. You donkey-raping shit-eater.Copy !req
110. "Donkey-raping shit-eater. "Copy !req
111. - You'd fuck your uncle!
- You'd fuck your uncle!Copy !req
112. Shut your fucking face
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
113. You're a cocksucking
Ass-licking uncle-fuckerCopy !req
114. Yes, it's true
Nobody fucks uncles quite like youCopy !req
115. Shut your fucking face
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
116. You're the one that fucked your uncle
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
117. You don't eat or mow the lawn
You fuck your uncle all day longCopy !req
118. What's going on here?Copy !req
119. - What garbage.
- What do you expect? They're Canadian.Copy !req
120. Shut your fucking face
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
121. You're a boner-biting bastard
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
122. - You're an uncle-fucker I must say
- You fucked your uncle yesterdayCopy !req
123. Uncle fucker
That's U-N-C-L-E fuck youCopy !req
124. Uncle fuckerCopy !req
125. Suck my balls.Copy !req
126. - That movie was fucking sweet!
- You bet your fucking ass it was!Copy !req
127. Fuck, I wanna be
just like them.Copy !req
128. Wait, where's your guardian?Copy !req
129. I knew it! You paid a homeless guy
to get you in, didn't you?Copy !req
130. Fuck off, you donkey-raping shit-eater.Copy !req
131. Shut your fucking face
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
132. You're an ass-licking
Ball-sucking uncle-fuckerCopy !req
133. Where have you been all day?Copy !req
134. Nowhere. We just went to go see
the Terrance and Phillip movie.Copy !req
135. How'd you get in?Copy !req
136. Stop crowding us,
shit-faced cockmasters!Copy !req
137. You're all ass-ramming uncle-fuckers.Copy !req
138. We've got to see this movie.Copy !req
139. Terrance and Phillip are Canadian,
just like my brother.Copy !req
140. There's the girl that I likeCopy !req
141. Tell about when Terrance called Phillip
a testicle-shitting rectal wart.Copy !req
142. Now more than everCopy !req
143. She gives me butterfliesCopy !req
144. It makes my stomach queasy
Every time she walks byCopy !req
145. Asshole, I'm talking to you.Copy !req
146. I know I can be cool
If I tryCopy !req
147. Gross!Copy !req
148. Wendy, let us try to jump
the hilly brush.Copy !req
149. Who are you?Copy !req
150. Gregory. I transferred from Yardale,
where I had a 4.0 grade point average.Copy !req
151. Want to skate with us?Copy !req
152. We've been skating all morning,
laughing and talking of memories past.Copy !req
153. We saw the Terrance and Phillip movie.Copy !req
154. Try and catch me, Wendy.Copy !req
155. Bye, Stan.Copy !req
156. I saw the Terrance and Phillip movie.
Who wants to touch me?Copy !req
157. I said, who wants to fucking touch me?Copy !req
158. We gotta see the
Terrance and Phillip movie too.Copy !req
159. I hate you, Kenny.Copy !req
160. Shut your fucking face
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
161. You're a boner-biting bastard
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
162. Okay, children, let's take our seats.Copy !req
163. We have a lot to learn today.Copy !req
164. We sure do, Mr. Hat.Copy !req
165. Let's start the day
with a few new math problems.Copy !req
166. What is five times two?Copy !req
167. Don't be shy.
Just give it your best shot.Copy !req
168. - Yes, Clyde.
- Twelve?Copy !req
169. Now let's get an answer from
someone who's not a complete retard.Copy !req
170. Anyone? Come on, don't be shy.Copy !req
171. I think I know the answer,
Mr. Garrison.Copy !req
172. - Shut up, fat boy!
- Don't call me fat, you fucking Jew!Copy !req
173. - Eric! Did you just say the F-word?
- "Jew"?Copy !req
174. You can't say "fuck" in school,
you fucking fat ass.Copy !req
175. Why the fuck not?Copy !req
176. You said "fuck" again.Copy !req
177. (Fuck!)Copy !req
178. What's the big deal? It doesn't
hurt anybody. Fuck, fuckitty, fuck.Copy !req
179. How would you like to go see
the counselor?Copy !req
180. How would you like to suck my balls?Copy !req
181. What did you say?!Copy !req
182. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
Actually, what I said was...Copy !req
183. ..."How would you like to suck my balls,
Mr. Garrison?"Copy !req
184. Holy shit, dude.Copy !req
185. I'm disappointed in you boys.
You should be ashamed of yourselves.Copy !req
186. I've called in your mothers...Copy !req
187. - You called my mom?
- That's right.Copy !req
188. Oh, no, dude!Copy !req
189. - Mr. Mackey, can I ask a question?
- M'kay, what?Copy !req
190. What's the big fucking deal?Copy !req
191. I want to know where you heard
these horrific obscenities, m'kay?Copy !req
192. - Nowhere.
- We heard them from Mr. Garrison before.Copy !req
193. I seriously doubt
that Mr. Garrison ever said...Copy !req
194. ..."Eat penguin shit,
you ass-spelunker. "Copy !req
195. Sweet.Copy !req
196. Thank you for coming on short notice.Copy !req
197. This isn't like you, Stanley.Copy !req
198. What did my son say, Mr. Mackey?
Did he say the S-word?Copy !req
199. No, it was worse than that.Copy !req
200. The F-word?Copy !req
201. Here's a short list of the things
they've been saying.Copy !req
202. - Oh, dear God.
- What the heck is a rim job?Copy !req
203. When you put your legs behind your head
and have someone lick your ass.Copy !req
204. Tell Mr. Mackey this instant where
you heard all these horrible phrases!Copy !req
205. We all swore ourselves to secrecy.Copy !req
206. - The Terrance and Phillip movie.
- Dude!Copy !req
207. I wanna get out of here.Copy !req
208. Terrance and Phillip? Those Canadians?Copy !req
209. Excuse me.
What is Terrance and Phillip?Copy !req
210. Terrance and Phillip are two
very untalented actors from Canada.Copy !req
211. Nothing but foul language
and toilet humor!Copy !req
212. I'll send a warning to parents before
more children see Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
213. Everybody's fucking seen it.Copy !req
214. I can't help myself. That movie has
warped my fragile little mind.Copy !req
215. There's the girl that I likeCopy !req
216. Over there laughing with that smart...Copy !req
217. You're holding up
the goddamn lunch line!Copy !req
218. Hello, there, children.Copy !req
219. - Hey, Chef.
- How's it going?Copy !req
220. - Bad.
- Why bad?Copy !req
221. We got busted for swearing.
We can't ever see that movie again.Copy !req
222. That's too bad.Copy !req
223. You should've seen Kyle when
his mom showed up. He was scared.Copy !req
224. - Shut up, Cartman!
- I'd be scared. Your mom's a bitch.Copy !req
225. Don't call her a bitch,
you fat fuck!Copy !req
226. Don't call me fat,
you fucking son of a bitch!Copy !req
227. Where did you learn to talk like that?Copy !req
228. Pretty fucking sweet, huh?Copy !req
229. How do you make a woman like you
more than any other guy?Copy !req
230. That's easy.
You just gotta find the clitoris.Copy !req
231. What does "find the clitoris" mean?Copy !req
232. Forget I said anything.Copy !req
233. Move along.
You're holding up the line.Copy !req
234. Do you know where I can find
the clitoris?Copy !req
235. - The what?
- Is that like finding Jesus?Copy !req
236. Attention, students.Copy !req
237. We are now enforcing a new dress code
at South Park Elementary.Copy !req
238. Terrance and Phillip shirts are
not allowed in school.Copy !req
239. Anyone wearing a Terrance and Phillip
shirt is to be sent home immediately.Copy !req
240. Hooray!Copy !req
241. The Canadian film "Asses of Fire"
is number one at the box office.Copy !req
242. Is the film destroying
American youth?Copy !req
243. Here with a special report is
a midget in a bikini.Copy !req
244. The effects of the Canadian comedy
are far-reaching indeed.Copy !req
245. All over America, children seem to be
influenced, like at this spelling bee.Copy !req
246. This is for the silver medal.Copy !req
247. Spell "forensics".Copy !req
248. Why should I fucking
have to spell "forensics"?Copy !req
249. Here you go. S-U-C-K-M-Y-A-S-S.Copy !req
250. Forensics.Copy !req
251. The devastating impact of the duo
can also be seen with their hit song...Copy !req
252. ..."Shut Your Fucking Face,
Uncle Fucker. "Copy !req
253. Shut your fucking face
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
254. You're a boner-biting bastard
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
255. I told you that we won't stopCopy !req
256. I told you that we won't stopCopy !req
257. Back to you, Tom.Copy !req
258. Thanks. Shocking report.Copy !req
259. The controversy began
in the town of South Park...Copy !req
260. ...where the PTA is trying
to ban the movie.Copy !req
261. With us tonight is the head of the PTA,
Sheila Broflovski.Copy !req
262. - And the Canadian minister of movies.
- Thanks for having me.Copy !req
263. Parents are concerned about your
country's entertainment.Copy !req
264. The film isn't intended
for children...Copy !req
265. But of course children will see it.Copy !req
266. Can I finish?
We're surprised by your outrage.Copy !req
267. - You just don't care!
- Can I finish? Hello?Copy !req
268. The U.S. has graphic violence
on TV all the time.Copy !req
269. We can't believe a movie
with foul language pisses you off.Copy !req
270. - Because it's evil!
- Can I finish?!Copy !req
271. Please can I finish?!Copy !req
272. Okay, I'm finished.Copy !req
273. This film isn't the first
troublesome thing to come out of Canada.Copy !req
274. Let's not forget Bryan Adams.Copy !req
275. Our government's apologized
for Bryan Adams on several occasions.Copy !req
276. You Canadians are all the same,
with your beady eyes and flapping heads.Copy !req
277. I resent that! I find that racist...Copy !req
278. Our children are now addicted
to your puke!Copy !req
279. You are a racist!Copy !req
280. It'll take us weeks to erase the damage
this film has done to our children.Copy !req
281. Kids, I want to welcome you
to rehabilitation, m'kay?Copy !req
282. Your mothers insisted you be taken
from your schoolwork...Copy !req
283. ...and placed into rehab to learn
not to swear.Copy !req
284. I don't belong with these rogues.Copy !req
285. I attended Yardale and had
a 4.0 grade point average.Copy !req
286. - You're a fucking faggot.
- M'kay, you see?Copy !req
287. This is what I'm talking about.
We have to get you off of foul language.Copy !req
288. - How are we gonna do that?
- Listen here.Copy !req
289. There are times when you get
Suckered inCopy !req
290. By drugs and alcohol
And sex with women, m'kay?Copy !req
291. But it's when you
Do these things too muchCopy !req
292. That you've become an addict
And must get back in touchCopy !req
293. You can do it
It's all up to you, m'kayCopy !req
294. With a little plan
You can change your life todayCopy !req
295. Don't spend your life
Addicted to smackCopy !req
296. Homeless
Giving handjobs for crackCopy !req
297. Follow my plan
And very soon you will sayCopy !req
298. It's easy, m'kayCopy !req
299. Instead of "ass" say "buns"Copy !req
300. Like "Kiss my buns"
Or "You're a buns-hole"Copy !req
301. Instead of "shit" say "poo"Copy !req
302. As in "bull poo", "poo-head"
And "This poo is cold"Copy !req
303. With "bitch" drop the "T"Copy !req
304. 'Cause "bich" is Latin
For generosityCopy !req
305. Don't say "fuck" anymoreCopy !req
306. 'Cause "fuck" is the worst word
That you can sayCopy !req
307. So just use the word "m'kay"Copy !req
308. We can do it
It's all up to us, m'kayCopy !req
309. With a little plan
We can change our lives todayCopy !req
310. You can change it todayCopy !req
311. Don't spend your life
Shooting up in the trashCopy !req
312. Homeless
Giving handjobs for cashCopy !req
313. Follow this plan
And very soon you will sayCopy !req
314. It's easy, m'kayCopy !req
315. Step oneCopy !req
316. - Say "buns"
- Like "Kiss my buns"Copy !req
317. Or "You're a buns-hole"Copy !req
318. - Step two
- Instead of "shit" say "poo"Copy !req
319. - As in "bull poo"
- And "This poo is cold"Copy !req
320. - Step three
- With "bitch" drop the "T"Copy !req
321. 'Cause "bich" is Latin for generosityCopy !req
322. - Step four
- Don't say "fuck" anymoreCopy !req
323. It's the worst word
You can sayCopy !req
324. "Fuck" is the worst word
That you can sayCopy !req
325. We shouldn't say "fuck"
Fuck no!Copy !req
326. You're cured, you can goCopy !req
327. Don't spend your life
Shooting up in the trashCopy !req
328. Homeless
Giving handjobs for cashCopy !req
329. Follow this plan
And very soon you will sayCopy !req
330. It's easy, m'kayCopy !req
331. Now you're cured. Take the rest of the
afternoon off for personal reflection.Copy !req
332. Find your own constructive way
to better yourself, m'kay?Copy !req
333. I hope you've learned
something through this experience.Copy !req
334. I did. I learned that you are
a boner-biting, dick-fart fuck-face.Copy !req
335. Want to see the northern lights?Copy !req
336. You burned yourself to death
by lighting your fart.Copy !req
337. I sure did, Phillip.Copy !req
338. Uncle fucker! Good night.Copy !req
339. Oh, man. This movie rules.Copy !req
340. Man, that movie gets better
every time I see it.Copy !req
341. That part about lighting farts
is bullshit.Copy !req
342. - You can't do that.
- (Yes, you can.)Copy !req
343. No way.Copy !req
344. (Yes you can, you can too light a fart on fire!)Copy !req
345. Okay, Kenny. I'll bet you $ 100
you can't light a fart on fire.Copy !req
346. (Yes you can, check it out!)Copy !req
347. - Holy shit, dude!
- Look out!Copy !req
348. Shit! Shit!Copy !req
349. Help! Somebody do something!Copy !req
350. This stick is on fire!Copy !req
351. (Ooowww!)Copy !req
352. Oh, my God! You killed Kenny!Copy !req
353. You bastard!Copy !req
354. I guess you can light a fart on fire.Copy !req
355. Load that IV with 70 cc's
of sodium Pentothal.Copy !req
356. We called the parents.Copy !req
357. Our moms will find out
we went to the movie again.Copy !req
358. Vacuum!Copy !req
359. Try to untangle his trachea
and esophagus.Copy !req
360. No, that doesn't go there!Copy !req
361. - Gross, Stan!
- That's sick!Copy !req
362. - Watch his liver!
- I'll get it.Copy !req
363. We have little time left.
We'll lose him soon.Copy !req
364. His heart stopped.Copy !req
365. Get it out of there.
Zap this, quick!Copy !req
366. Who's making a potato?Copy !req
367. My bad. I missed lunch.Copy !req
368. Damn it, I'm not gonna lose this kid!Copy !req
369. Close him up. We've done all we can.Copy !req
370. The rest is up to God.Copy !req
371. Kenny, can you hear me?Copy !req
372. (Holy shit, dude.)Copy !req
373. How are you feeling?Copy !req
374. (Like a sick animal.)Copy !req
375. Great. Son, I have some bad news.Copy !req
376. We replaced your heart with a potato.
You have three seconds to live.Copy !req
377. (What?!)Copy !req
378. - Fucking weak, dude!
- Oh, my God. They killed Kenny!Copy !req
379. You bastards!Copy !req
380. Damn it!Copy !req
381. It never gets any easier!Copy !req
382. I bet him he couldn't do it.
I bet him $100.Copy !req
383. - It's not your fault.
- No, I'm stoked I don't have to pay.Copy !req
384. That's real nice! He was your friend,
you fat fuck!Copy !req
385. So, boys, you saw that movie again?Copy !req
386. Well, Kyle, I have had it!Copy !req
387. You are grounded
for the next two weeks!Copy !req
388. Grounded?Copy !req
389. And you, Stan. Come on.Copy !req
390. And you're grounded
for three weeks, Eric.Copy !req
391. Why am I grounded more?
That's bullshit.Copy !req
392. What, what, what?!Copy !req
393. What was that word, young man?Copy !req
394. Little boy at peaceCopy !req
395. What is this placeCopy !req
396. Beyond the starsCopy !req
397. Open up your eyesCopy !req
398. What are these thingsCopy !req
399. You're moving towardCopy !req
400. Head so full of wonderCopy !req
401. - Worries in the pastCopy !req
402. Could it be
That you are free at lastCopy !req
403. No!Copy !req
404. (What?! Aaaaaaaaaaaaaa!)Copy !req
405. Little boy, you're going to hellCopy !req
406. You said bad words, threw rocks at birds
And now this is your hotelCopy !req
407. This ain't Disneyland, it's hellCopy !req
408. Little boy, it's time for you to payCopy !req
409. For not going to church
And staring at boobs every dayCopy !req
410. Thought you were in bed
Instead you're in hellCopy !req
411. No, hell isn't good
Hell isn't good, hellCopy !req
412. Fuck-face, have you seen Gracie?Copy !req
413. There is orderliness in the universe.Copy !req
414. Parents, our children are
out of control!Copy !req
415. This is what happens when toilet humor
is allowed to run rampant!Copy !req
416. That's right.
Kenny set himself on fire...Copy !req
417. ...because he saw Terrance and Phillip
do it in that dirty movie.Copy !req
418. We must stop dirty language from
getting to our children's ears.Copy !req
419. We must go fight the source of it!Copy !req
420. But what is the source?Copy !req
421. That's easy.Copy !req
422. Times have changed
Our kids are getting worseCopy !req
423. They won't obey their parents
They just want to fart and curseCopy !req
424. Should we blame the governmentCopy !req
425. Or blame societyCopy !req
426. Or should we blame the images on TVCopy !req
427. No, blame Canada!Copy !req
428. Blame CanadaCopy !req
429. With all their beady little eyes
And flappin' heads so full of liesCopy !req
430. Blame CanadaCopy !req
431. Blame CanadaCopy !req
432. - We need to form a full assault
- It's Canada's faultCopy !req
433. Don't blame me for my son StanCopy !req
434. He saw the darn cartoon
And now he's off to join the KlanCopy !req
435. And my boy Eric once
Had my picture on his shelfCopy !req
436. But now when I see him
He tells me to fuck myselfCopy !req
437. Well, blame CanadaCopy !req
438. Blame CanadaCopy !req
439. It seems that everything's gone wrong
Since Canada came alongCopy !req
440. They're not even a real country anywayCopy !req
441. My son could've been a doctor
Or a lawyer rich and trueCopy !req
442. Instead he burned up like a piggy
On a barbecueCopy !req
443. Should we blame the matchesCopy !req
444. Should we blame the fire
Or the doctors who allowed him to expireCopy !req
445. Heck, no!
Blame CanadaCopy !req
446. Blame CanadaCopy !req
447. - With all their hockey hullabaloo
- And that bitch Anne Murray tooCopy !req
448. The smut and trash we must bash
The laughs and fun must be undoneCopy !req
449. We must lament and cause a fussCopy !req
450. Before somebody thinks of blaming usCopy !req
451. All right, you turds, listen up!Copy !req
452. Your moms are at a meeting
and they put me in charge of you.Copy !req
453. But you're still grounded,
so you're not allowed to have any fun!Copy !req
454. Any questions?Copy !req
455. Shelley, where's the clitoris?Copy !req
456. You all sit there and keep
your mouths shut...Copy !req
457. ...while I go listen to
my Britney Spears records.Copy !req
458. Okay, it's clear!Copy !req
459. Our next guests have
the number one movie in the world.Copy !req
460. Please welcome Terrance and Phillip!Copy !req
461. - Hello, Conan.
- Hello, Brooke Shields.Copy !req
462. Some people claim that your Canadian
humor is just immature fart jokes.Copy !req
463. That's not true.
Take this classic Canadian joke.Copy !req
464. - Excuse me, Terrance.
- Yes, Phillip?Copy !req
465. Gosh darn it!Copy !req
466. - Good one. Cheers.
- Cheers, fuck-face.Copy !req
467. You can't say that on TV.Copy !req
468. Now Terrance smells like my ass.Copy !req
469. I farted once on the set
of "Blue Lagoon".Copy !req
470. Does it make you nervous to be
in America?Copy !req
471. Our organizations want you
arrested for destroying children.Copy !req
472. - They'd have to find us first.
- You're right. Now!Copy !req
473. Mothers Against Canada is placing you
under citizen's arrest!Copy !req
474. - Mom?
- What's going on?Copy !req
475. We have a court order for your arrest!Copy !req
476. Phillip, we've been ambushed!Copy !req
477. Here you go, Conan.Copy !req
478. This little scrotum-sucker deceived us!
You are a bad man!Copy !req
479. Don't listen to them.Copy !req
480. You loved our movie, Conan.
We watched it together.Copy !req
481. Remember? You laughed.Copy !req
482. What have I done?Copy !req
483. Did you see that?
They arrested Terrance and Phillip!Copy !req
484. As Canadian ambassador...Copy !req
485. ...I condemn America's actions
in apprehending Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
486. The entire economy of Canada relies
on Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
487. Without them,
we'd have a recession.Copy !req
488. What say you,
Mr. American Ambassador?Copy !req
489. Fuck Canada!Copy !req
490. Fuck you, buddy!Copy !req
491. Terrance and Phillip
will not be released.Copy !req
492. They'll be put on trial
for corrupting America's youth.Copy !req
493. What's all the fuss about?Copy !req
494. The fuss is aboot taking our citizens!
It's aboot not censoring our art!Copy !req
495. It's aboot...
What's so goddamn funny?Copy !req
496. Nothing. Could you tell us again
what your argument is all about?Copy !req
497. This is not aboot diplomacy. This is
aboot dignity. It's aboot respect.Copy !req
498. Aboot realizing that humor...Copy !req
499. Release them, or we'll
give you something to cry aboot!Copy !req
500. Pilot to bombardier.
We're nearing the target.Copy !req
501. Bomb's ready, buddy.Copy !req
502. Baldwin residence.Copy !req
503. No, this is Billy Baldwin.Copy !req
504. If you want Daniel Baldwin,
call his extension, stupid!Copy !req
505. Alec, do you know what sucks
about being a Baldwin?Copy !req
506. - No. What?
- Nothing!Copy !req
507. You missed me!Copy !req
508. Your mothers are making me throw away
my lesson plan and teach theirs.Copy !req
509. How come our moms arrested
Terrance and Phillip?Copy !req
510. Your moms are just upset.
They're probably all on their periods.Copy !req
511. Not cool.Copy !req
512. Wendy and I think
that was a sexist statement.Copy !req
513. Sorry, but I don't trust anything that
bleeds for five days and doesn't die.Copy !req
514. Anyway, children, let's start off
with some vocabulary.Copy !req
515. Attention, students.Copy !req
516. What now?Copy !req
517. Come to the gymnasium immediately
for a special announcement.Copy !req
518. - What's going on, Chef?
- Something big, children.Copy !req
519. I can't find the clitoris.
You have to help.Copy !req
520. Stan, the clitoris is...Copy !req
521. Take your seats.
They're about to announce it.Copy !req
522. This is a state of emergency.Copy !req
523. Now to the White House for
an announcement from the President.Copy !req
524. My fellow Americans...Copy !req
525. ...at 5 a. m. Today,
a day which will live in infamy...Copy !req
526. ...the Canadians have bombed
the Baldwins.Copy !req
527. In response to this, the U.S. has
declared war on Canada.Copy !req
528. - Oh, no.
- War?Copy !req
529. - No, Gregory, no!
- This is bad. Hold on to me.Copy !req
530. All the Baldwins are dead?Copy !req
531. It's time for us to send
a message to Canadians.Copy !req
532. In two days, the war criminals,
Terrance and Phillip...Copy !req
533. ...will be executed.Copy !req
534. They're gonna kill them?Copy !req
535. And now I'd like to bring up my newly
appointed Secretary of Offense...Copy !req
536. ...Ms. Sheila Broflovski.Copy !req
537. Holy shit, dude!Copy !req
538. My fellow Americans...Copy !req
539. ...our neighbor to the north
has abused us for the last time!Copy !req
540. - I have a plan...
- Canadians want to fight us...Copy !req
541. ...because we won't tolerate
their potty-mouths.Copy !req
542. If it is war they want...Copy !req
543. ...then war they shall have!Copy !req
544. Dude, this is fucking weak.Copy !req
545. How could things be any worse?Copy !req
546. (Ow! What the hell? Wait!)Copy !req
547. Fallen one, I am Satan.Copy !req
548. I am your god now.Copy !req
549. (Oh my God!)Copy !req
550. There is no escape.Copy !req
551. Now feel the delightful pain.Copy !req
552. Hey, Satan.Copy !req
553. Did you hear the news?
A war just broke out up on Earth.Copy !req
554. Meet Saddam Hussein,
my new partner in evil.Copy !req
555. (Huh?)Copy !req
556. You're hogging all the fun.Copy !req
557. Man, this is getting me so hot!Copy !req
558. (Hey, what the fuck?!)Copy !req
559. Would you let me do my job?Copy !req
560. Rub my nipples while I torture
this little piggy.Copy !req
561. Could I talk to you over here?Copy !req
562. I don't see why you have to belittle me
in front of people like that.Copy !req
563. Relax, guy.Copy !req
564. Sometimes, I think you don't have
any respect for me.Copy !req
565. Come here, guy.Copy !req
566. Who's my cream puff?Copy !req
567. - I am.
- That's right, baby.Copy !req
568. (Huh?)Copy !req
569. I don't wanna be at war.Copy !req
570. You think they'll kill
Terrance and Phillip?Copy !req
571. Kyle, stop being a chicken shit
and stand up to your mother.Copy !req
572. Smack her and say, "That's enough
of your shit, you bitch!"Copy !req
573. Don't call my mom a bitch!Copy !req
574. Stop it! This isn't helping.
We've gotta think. Let's see.Copy !req
575. - What would Brian Boitano do?
- Yeah, what would Brian Boitano do?Copy !req
576. What's going on?Copy !req
577. America thinks it has the right
to police the world.Copy !req
578. Your government will kill two Canadians,
an action condemned by the U.N.Copy !req
579. Home of the free, indeed.Copy !req
580. Let's play tetherball.Copy !req
581. This is about freedom of speech!
About censorship!Copy !req
582. Be more political...Copy !req
583. There's the girl that I likeCopy !req
584. Now it appears
That she likes another guyCopy !req
585. It must be because
He's political and stuffCopy !req
586. I bet I could be political tooCopy !req
587. What do you think, Stan?Copy !req
588. Damn it!Copy !req
589. - This is all Kyle's mom's fault.
- Shut up, Cartman!Copy !req
590. Kyle's mom started that damn club.Copy !req
591. - All because she's a fat, stupid bitch.
- Don't say it, Cartman!Copy !req
592. Don't do it, Cartman.Copy !req
593. I'm warning you!Copy !req
594. I'm sick of him calling my mom a...Copy !req
595. Kyle's mom's a witch
The biggest bitch in the worldCopy !req
596. She's a stupid bitch
She's a bitch to all the boys and girlsCopy !req
597. Shut your fucking mouth, Cartman!Copy !req
598. Monday and Tuesday she's a bitch
Wednesday to Saturday she's a bitchCopy !req
599. On Sunday just to be different
She's a super King Kamehameha bitchCopy !req
600. Come on, you all know the words.Copy !req
601. Have you met Kyle's momCopy !req
602. She's the biggest bitch
In the worldCopy !req
603. She's a mean old bitch
And she has stupid hairCopy !req
604. She's a bitch bitch bitchCopy !req
605. She's a stupid bitchCopy !req
606. Kyle's mom's a bitch
And she's just a dirty bitchCopy !req
607. Talk to kids around the world
It might go something like thisCopy !req
608. Have you met Kyle's momCopy !req
609. She's the biggest bitch
In the worldCopy !req
610. She's a mean old bitch
And she has stupid hairCopy !req
611. She's a bitch bitch bitchCopy !req
612. She's a stupid bitchCopy !req
613. Kyle's mom's a bitch
And she's just a dirty bitchCopy !req
614. I really mean it
Kyle's momCopy !req
615. She's a big fat fucking bitchCopy !req
616. Big old fat fucking bitch
Kyle's momCopy !req
617. What?Copy !req
618. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
619. Everyone, settle down.Copy !req
620. As we continue to send troops
into Canada...Copy !req
621. ...M.A.C. is also fighting the war
against potty-mouths here at home.Copy !req
622. Here to present the V-chip
is Dr. Vosknocker.Copy !req
623. The machinery of the V-chip
is very simple.Copy !req
624. It is placed under the child's skin...Copy !req
625. ...emitting a small shock of electricity
whenever an obscenity is uttered.Copy !req
626. Wait a minute. This chip somehow knows
if the child is swearing?Copy !req
627. It's like a lie detector.Copy !req
628. Certain things happen to you
when you swear, just like when you lie.Copy !req
629. The chip picks up on this and gives
the subject a little prick.Copy !req
630. Patient B-5, would you
step out here, please?Copy !req
631. Patient B-5 here has been fitted
with the new V-chip.Copy !req
632. My head hurts.Copy !req
633. Don't worry about that.
Now, I want you to say "doggy".Copy !req
634. Doggy.Copy !req
635. Notice that nothing happens.Copy !req
636. - Now say "Montana".
- Montana.Copy !req
637. Good.Copy !req
638. Now, "pillow".Copy !req
639. Pillow.Copy !req
640. All right. Now I want you to say
"horse-fucker".Copy !req
641. Go ahead, Eric. It's all right.Copy !req
642. Horse-fuck...Copy !req
643. That hurt, goddamn...Copy !req
644. Fuck!Copy !req
645. Now I'd like you to say
"big, floppy donkey dick".Copy !req
646. Success!
The child doesn't want to swear!Copy !req
647. This isn't fair, you sons of bitches!Copy !req
648. We will start putting V-chips
in all our children next week!Copy !req
649. Snacky Smores presents:
The March of War.Copy !req
650. Let's hear it for our boys.Copy !req
651. Clinton has called them
to fight the evil Canadians.Copy !req
652. A full-scale attack was launched
on Toronto...Copy !req
653. ...after the Canadians' last bombing,
which devastated the Arquettes.Copy !req
654. For security measures,
our great government is rounding up...Copy !req
655. ...all citizens with Canadian blood
and putting them into camps.Copy !req
656. Canadian-Americans are to report
to one of these death camps right away.Copy !req
657. Did I say "death camps"?Copy !req
658. I meant happy camps,
where you will eat the finest meals...Copy !req
659. ...have access to fabulous doctors
and exercise regularly.Copy !req
660. Meanwhile, war criminals Terrance
and Phillip are prepped for execution.Copy !req
661. Their execution will take place...Copy !req
662. ...during a fabulous USO show,
with guest celebrities, including...Copy !req
663. ...Big Gay Al and Winona Ryder.Copy !req
664. Of course, the only way to see the
USO show is to sign up for the Army!Copy !req
665. So join the Army and kill
some Canadian scum as we continue...Copy !req
666. ...the march of war.
Eat Snacky Smores.Copy !req
667. We must rid ourselves
of anything Canadian.Copy !req
668. Don't you like
Terrance and Phillip anymore?Copy !req
669. Course not! Mommy says I hate Canadians
because they made me have a dirty mouth.Copy !req
670. Burn it all!Copy !req
671. - Hey, dudes.
- What's the matter, Cartman?Copy !req
672. It's this V-chip. I hate it.
I can't say any dirty words.Copy !req
673. - So you can't say "fuck"?
- No.Copy !req
674. - And you can't say "shit"?
- No.Copy !req
675. You can't say, "I'm Cartman,
the fattest piece of shit in the world"?Copy !req
676. - Fuck you!
- Dude. Sweet!Copy !req
677. This has gone far enough.
It's time we talked to our moms.Copy !req
678. We're supposed to be grounded.Copy !req
679. Come on, it's time for us
to get political.Copy !req
680. Canada will no longer corrupt
our children!Copy !req
681. Mom, can I talk to you?Copy !req
682. Kyle, what are you doing here?
You are grounded.Copy !req
683. Get back to the house
and stay there!Copy !req
684. You too, Stanley.Copy !req
685. You're going too far.
You can't kill Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
686. We must fight for
our children's futures!Copy !req
687. - You started a war. You have to stop it.
- To make them safe again!Copy !req
688. Our children are precious.Copy !req
689. We must make a stand now!
Stop at nothing!Copy !req
690. I told you she wouldn't listen.Copy !req
691. We'll have to save
Terrance and Phillip ourselves.Copy !req
692. - What?
- Think about it.Copy !req
693. What would Brian Boitano do?Copy !req
694. He'd rescue Terrance and Phillip
before they're executed.Copy !req
695. We can't do anything.
Our moms' organization is too strong.Copy !req
696. We'll round up all the grounded kids
and start our own organization.Copy !req
697. An organization to help save
Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
698. Yeah, our own secret club.Copy !req
699. - I guess that could work.
- We have to try.Copy !req
700. What would Brian Boitano do
If he was here right nowCopy !req
701. He'd make a plan and follow through
That's what Brian Boitano'd doCopy !req
702. When Brian Boitano was in the Olympics
Skating for the goldCopy !req
703. He did two salchows and a triple lutz
While wearing a blindfoldCopy !req
704. When Brian Boitano was in the Alps
Fighting grizzly bearsCopy !req
705. He used his magical fire breath
And saved the maidens fairCopy !req
706. So what would Brian Boitano do
If he were here todayCopy !req
707. I'm sure he'd kick an ass or two
That's what Brian Boitano'd doCopy !req
708. I want this V-chip out of meCopy !req
709. It has stunted my vocabularyCopy !req
710. And I just want my mom
To stop fighting everyoneCopy !req
711. For Wendy, I'll be an activist
That's what Brian Boitano'd doCopy !req
712. That's what Brian Boitano'd do
He'd call the kids in townCopy !req
713. And tell them to unite for truth
That's what Brian Boitano'd doCopy !req
714. Someone say my name?Copy !req
715. - Who are you?
- I'm Brian Dennehy.Copy !req
716. What? No, not fucking Brian Dennehy!Copy !req
717. Get the fuck out of here.Copy !req
718. When Brian Boitano traveled through time
To the year 3010Copy !req
719. He fought the evil robot king
To save the human race againCopy !req
720. When he built the pyramids
He beat up Kublai KhanCopy !req
721. Because Brian Boitano
Doesn't take shit from anybodyCopy !req
722. So let's all stick together
And unite to stop our momsCopy !req
723. We'll save Terrance and Phillip too
That's what Brian Boitano'd doCopy !req
724. We'll save Terrance and Phillip too
That's what Brian Boitano'd doCopy !req
725. That's what Brian Boitano'd doCopy !req
726. Hey, relax, guy.Copy !req
727. There's nothing on.Copy !req
728. You get cranky when you're tired.Copy !req
729. I'm not cranky.Copy !req
730. What started as a spat between the U.S.
and Canada is turning into WWIII.Copy !req
731. World War III?!Copy !req
732. Terrance and Phillip will be put
to death for crimes...Copy !req
733. It has come to be.
The Four Horsemen are drawing nigh.Copy !req
734. The time of prophecy is upon us.Copy !req
735. I love when you get biblical.
You know exactly how to turn my crank.Copy !req
736. No, I'm being serious.
It is the seventh sign.Copy !req
737. What?Copy !req
738. Behold...Copy !req
739. ...the first signs of my reign
have all come true:Copy !req
740. The fall of an empire,
the coming of a comet...Copy !req
741. ...and now, when the blood of
these Canadians touches American soil...Copy !req
742. ...it will be our time to rise.Copy !req
743. (Huh?)Copy !req
744. Yeah, man, I'm getting so hot!
Let's fuck!Copy !req
745. Do you always think about sex?
I'm talking about important stuff here.Copy !req
746. I'm just excited about taking over
the world! Come on!Copy !req
747. Is sex the only thing
that matters to you?Copy !req
748. I love you.Copy !req
749. I want to believe that.Copy !req
750. What do you say we shut off
that light and get close?Copy !req
751. You like that, don't you, bitch?Copy !req
752. We can use my dad's computer to call
the kids together.Copy !req
753. Before we put a message out,
do a search on "clitoris".Copy !req
754. "Found: Eight million pages
with the word 'clitoris'."Copy !req
755. I'll just try the first one.
"You must be 18 to enter this website. "Copy !req
756. "Welcome to German Sick Fetish Video. "Copy !req
757. "If you are under 18, do not... "
Well, okay.Copy !req
758. It's a lady getting pooed on!Copy !req
759. - Is it Cartman's mom?
- Very funny.Copy !req
760. It is Cartman's mom!Copy !req
761. Son of a bit...!Copy !req
762. Lke, you're too young for this stuff.Copy !req
763. Bullshitah.Copy !req
764. What's she doing now?Copy !req
765. Click it off, dude!Copy !req
766. What's wrong with German people?Copy !req
767. Let's do what we came here to do
and put a message out.Copy !req
768. I've gotta put out
an all-access e-mail.Copy !req
769. - Goddamn, your mom sucks!
- Get to the message board!Copy !req
770. Can't find a Canadian server.
I'll break into the mainframe.Copy !req
771. They've got an access code!Copy !req
772. I'll try to re-route the encryptions.Copy !req
773. Here we go. "Want to help
Terrance and Phillip?"Copy !req
774. "Sneak out after you get tucked into bed
tonight and meet at Carl's warehouse. "Copy !req
775. - Tell them we'll have punch and pie.
- We're not.Copy !req
776. More people will come if they think
we have punch and pie!Copy !req
777. "Punch and pie. "Copy !req
778. "This is top-secret.
The password is... "Copy !req
779. "La Résistance. "Copy !req
780. So the draft will begin tomorrow...Copy !req
781. ...as more troops are needed
to invade the Canadian border.Copy !req
782. The Canadian government pleads
for a peaceful resolution...Copy !req
783. ...but we're not listening.Copy !req
784. Good night, hon.Copy !req
785. Mom, when will the war be over?Copy !req
786. I don't know, hon. Soon, we hope.
You want it to end quickly, huh?Copy !req
787. - Mom?
- Yes, hon?Copy !req
788. If you were in a German "scheiße" video,
you'd tell me, right?Copy !req
789. Sure, hon. Good night.Copy !req
790. There's a ghost!Copy !req
791. (What's the matter? You can't be afraid of me.)Copy !req
792. Kenny, is that you?Copy !req
793. (Yes. It's Satan! He's coming right now!)Copy !req
794. Satan? Satan is coming here?Copy !req
795. (That's right, and he's gonna bring Saddam Hussein with him!)Copy !req
796. Saddam Hussein?
That doesn't make sense!Copy !req
797. (Well, they're both gonna come right here right now!)Copy !req
798. Eric, what is it?Copy !req
799. I saw him! I saw Kenny!Copy !req
800. You poor dear.Copy !req
801. You've been through so much.Copy !req
802. I bet him he couldn't light a fart
on fire, and now he's pissed off.Copy !req
803. I can't say "pissed off"?Copy !req
804. The execution of Terrance and Phillip
is imminent.Copy !req
805. Soon, Saddam and I will rule the world.Copy !req
806. I got some new luggage
for our trip up to Earth.Copy !req
807. Let's fuck to celebrate!Copy !req
808. What's it like up on Earth?
Tell me about it again.Copy !req
809. Let's not talk. Let's get busy.Copy !req
810. Remember when you first got here?Copy !req
811. We used to talk all night,
until the sun came up.Copy !req
812. We would just lie in bed and talk.Copy !req
813. Because I was waiting to
get you in bed.Copy !req
814. How come you always want to make love
to me from behind?Copy !req
815. Is it because you want to pretend
I'm somebody else?Copy !req
816. Satan, your ass is gigantic and red.Copy !req
817. Who am I gonna pretend you are?
Liza Minnelli?Copy !req
818. Don't get all pissy!Copy !req
819. Sometimes I thinkCopy !req
820. When I look up real highCopy !req
821. That there's such a big world up thereCopy !req
822. I'd like to give it a tryCopy !req
823. But then I sinkCopy !req
824. 'Cause it's here I'm supposed to stayCopy !req
825. But I get so lonely down hereCopy !req
826. Tell me, why's it have to be that way?Copy !req
827. Up there, there is so much roomCopy !req
828. Where babies burp and flowers bloomCopy !req
829. Everyone dreams, I can dream tooCopy !req
830. Up thereCopy !req
831. Up where the skies are ocean blueCopy !req
832. I could be safe and live without a careCopy !req
833. Up thereCopy !req
834. They say I don't belongCopy !req
835. I must stay below aloneCopy !req
836. Because of my beliefsCopy !req
837. I'm supposed to stay where evil is sownCopy !req
838. But what is evil anywayCopy !req
839. Is there reason to the rhymeCopy !req
840. Without evil there could be no goodCopy !req
841. So it must be good to be evil sometimesCopy !req
842. Up there, there is so much roomCopy !req
843. Where babies burp and flowers bloomCopy !req
844. Everyone dreams, I can dream tooCopy !req
845. Up thereCopy !req
846. Up where the skies are ocean blueCopy !req
847. I could be safe and live without a careCopy !req
848. Live without a careCopy !req
849. If only I could live up thereCopy !req
850. I want to live, I want to live upCopy !req
851. I want to live up thereCopy !req
852. - You're late!
- I had to ride my bike here.Copy !req
853. - My behind is killing me.
- Your "behind"?Copy !req
854. I have to say "behind" because
I get shocked if I say "ass".Copy !req
855. Did you bring the punch and pie?Copy !req
856. No. You guys, something happened.Copy !req
857. I don't think Kenny's dead.Copy !req
858. I saw him in my room.Copy !req
859. I know, Cartman.
I see Kenny every day.Copy !req
860. - You do?
- Sure, dude.Copy !req
861. On the face of every child,
on the smile of every baby.Copy !req
862. This was Kenny! He said that if
Terrance and Phillip die...Copy !req
863. ...Saddam Hussein and Satan will
come up and rule the world!Copy !req
864. Saddam Hussein?Copy !req
865. Who is it?Copy !req
866. I'm here for "La Résistance".Copy !req
867. What's the password?Copy !req
868. I don't know.Copy !req
869. Guess.Copy !req
870. Bacon.Copy !req
871. "Viva La Résistance"!Copy !req
872. Oh, no! It's that kid!Copy !req
873. This is the place.Copy !req
874. Stan? You started "La Résistance"?Copy !req
875. You're more political than we thought.Copy !req
876. Let us get this meeting underway.
Many others are coming.Copy !req
877. A lot of people showed up.Copy !req
878. Terrance and Phillip are supposed to be
killed, and we think that sucks ass!Copy !req
879. We were to understand there'd be
pie and punch.Copy !req
880. There isn't any.Copy !req
881. Terrance and Phillip are
supposed to be killed...Copy !req
882. ...so we should prank call
a bunch of policemen...Copy !req
883. ...and have pizzas sent to them
that they didn't order.Copy !req
884. "Viva La Résistance"!Copy !req
885. - May I?
- What?Copy !req
886. Terrance and Phillip are being held
in a camp two kilometers from town.Copy !req
887. They are to be executed tomorrow
during a star-studded USO show.Copy !req
888. Tomorrow?Copy !req
889. Once the show begins,
we'll have an hour...Copy !req
890. ...to get them out of their cell
and into this clearing.Copy !req
891. There, we will rendezvous
and take them back to Canada.Copy !req
892. Dude, Wendy's new guy is smart.Copy !req
893. Meet me at the rendezvous point
at 10 p. m.Copy !req
894. Sneaking in and breaking them out
will be dangerous...Copy !req
895. ...so I'll go myself.Copy !req
896. No! We're going!Copy !req
897. We started "La Résistance". We'll get
them and meet at the rendezvous point.Copy !req
898. This will be very dangerous.
Are you quite sure?Copy !req
899. Fuck that!Copy !req
900. Do you want that V-chip in you forever?
We'll go. Let's run through the plan.Copy !req
901. Oh, boy! Military action, Ned!
Let's kill us some goddamn Australians!Copy !req
902. I think we're fighting Canadians.Copy !req
903. Canadians, Australians,
what's the difference?Copy !req
904. This uniform makes me feel like
a tough, brute man, Mr. Hat.Copy !req
905. It sure does, Mr. Garrison.Copy !req
906. I can't wait
for our first shore leave...Copy !req
907. ...so I can get me
some fucking poon tang.Copy !req
908. Pay attention! Tomorrow night is
the USO show for all you troops.Copy !req
909. There will be celebrities, followed by
the execution of Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
910. After the show, we will finally be
sending ground troops into Canada.Copy !req
911. So let's strategize.Copy !req
912. Map!Copy !req
913. Our sources have told us
that the Canadians...Copy !req
914. ...are preparing for our invasion,
so we must use caution.Copy !req
915. Each battalion has
a specific code name and mission.Copy !req
916. Battalion 5, raise your hands.Copy !req
917. You will be the all-important
first attack wave...Copy !req
918. ...which we will call
"Operation Human Shield".Copy !req
919. Wait a minute!Copy !req
920. Keep in mind Operation Human Shield
will suffer heavy losses.Copy !req
921. Battalion 14?Copy !req
922. Right. You are
Operation Get-Behind-the-Darkies.Copy !req
923. You will follow Battalion 5.
Try not to get killed, for God's sake.Copy !req
924. Are there any questions?Copy !req
925. Yes, soldier.Copy !req
926. Have you ever heard
of the Emancipation Proclamation?Copy !req
927. I don't listen to hip-hop.Copy !req
928. After that, we will march into
the heart of Canada, and we will...Copy !req
929. I'm gonna get you!Copy !req
930. What's wrong with this thing?Copy !req
931. It's fucking Windows 98!Copy !req
932. Get Bill Gates in here!Copy !req
933. You told us Windows 98 would be faster,
with better access to the Internet!Copy !req
934. It is faster. Over 5 million...Copy !req
935. All right, men, get lots of rest...Copy !req
936. ...and prepare to...Copy !req
937. After you have Terrance and Phillip,
make your way to this ridge.Copy !req
938. We will wait for you.
But not for long.Copy !req
939. So if you're not there at 10,
we'll have to leave.Copy !req
940. You're brave, but you'll need help
from someone who's done this before.Copy !req
941. Here's the address of "The Mole".Copy !req
942. He is an expert in covert operations.
Your first task will be obtaining him.Copy !req
943. Get lots of sleep. Tomorrow we will
all be risking our lives for freedom.Copy !req
944. God has smiled upon you this dayCopy !req
945. The fate of a nation in your handsCopy !req
946. And blessed be the children hereCopy !req
947. Who fight with all our braveryCopy !req
948. Till only the righteous standCopy !req
949. You see the distant flames
They bellow in the nightCopy !req
950. You fight in all our names
For what we know is rightCopy !req
951. And when you all get shot
And cannot carry onCopy !req
952. Though you die, "La Résistance" lives onCopy !req
953. You may get stabbed in the head
With a dagger or a swordCopy !req
954. You may be burned to death
Or skinned alive or worseCopy !req
955. But when they torture you
You will not feel the need to runCopy !req
956. For though you die,
"La Résistance" lives onCopy !req
957. Blame Canada
Blame CanadaCopy !req
958. Because the country's gone awry
Tomorrow night these freaks will fryCopy !req
959. Tomorrow night
Our lives will changeCopy !req
960. Tomorrow night
We'll be entertainedCopy !req
961. An execution, what a sight
Tomorrow nightCopy !req
962. Up there, there's so much room
Where babies burp and flowers bloomCopy !req
963. Tomorrow night up there is doomed
And so I will be going soonCopy !req
964. Shut your fucking face
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
965. You're a boner-biting bastard
Uncle fuckerCopy !req
966. - Looks like we may be out of luck
- Tomorrow night, we're pretty fuckedCopy !req
967. Why did our mothers start this war
What the fuck are they fighting forCopy !req
968. When did this song become a marathonCopy !req
969. When Canada is dead and gone
There'll be no more Celine DionCopy !req
970. They may cut your dick in half
And serve it to a pigCopy !req
971. And though it hurts, you'll laugh
And dance a dickless jigCopy !req
972. That's the way it goes
In war you're shat uponCopy !req
973. Though you die
"La Résistance" lives onCopy !req
974. I'm so excited. Just one more day
until we can take over the world.Copy !req
975. I don't know if I can sleep,
if you know what I mean.Copy !req
976. This book talks about how people
communicate differently.Copy !req
977. I communicate by wanting you
to ask me questions, and you...Copy !req
978. That is interesting. Let's fuck!Copy !req
979. Saddam, I'm trying to have
a nice conversation with you!Copy !req
980. Now that is just not appropriate!Copy !req
981. Come on, I'm just fucking with you!
It's not real!Copy !req
982. - Well, that's still not appropriate.
- Hey, daddy.Copy !req
983. It's not real, either! Come on, guy!Copy !req
984. (What's wrong?)Copy !req
985. Soon the world will belong to me.Copy !req
986. (No, what's wrong, dude?)Copy !req
987. It's Saddam.
He doesn't nurture my emotions.Copy !req
988. He just wants sex and can't learn
to communicate.Copy !req
989. (Why don't you just fuckin' leave him?)Copy !req
990. You're right. I should leave him.
I'll tell him...Copy !req
991. ..."Saddam, I'm going to Earth
to rule alone!"Copy !req
992. I'm strong and I don't need him!Copy !req
993. (Good for you!)Copy !req
994. Today's the day for the USO showCopy !req
995. We're so happy we get to goCopy !req
996. I don't know but I've been toldCopy !req
997. Canadian pussy is mighty coldCopy !req
998. Stay in the attic,
because if they find you...Copy !req
999. ...they'll put you in
a concentration camp.Copy !req
1000. Don't worry.
We'll put an end to this.Copy !req
1001. Then I'll make Mom come home,
and we'll all be a family again.Copy !req
1002. We need to speak with The Mole.Copy !req
1003. I'm sorry. The Mole is grounded.
He can't come out and play.Copy !req
1004. - What?!
- He's a kid?Copy !req
1005. He said very naughty things about God.Copy !req
1006. Can we just talk to him
for five seconds?Copy !req
1007. Well, all right. Christophe!Copy !req
1008. We're gonna rescue Terrance
and Phillip from the USO show...Copy !req
1009. Who sent you?Copy !req
1010. Gregory! He said
you could sneak us in.Copy !req
1011. Are you telling me you intend
to break into the USO show...Copy !req
1012. ...filled with thousands of soldiers
and break out Terrance and Phillip?Copy !req
1013. I thought it was a stupid idea too.Copy !req
1014. We're "La Résistance". We wanna save
Terrance and Phillip and stop the war.Copy !req
1015. I can't help you.
I'm grounded for the next three days.Copy !req
1016. So are we. Our parents think
we're home right now.Copy !req
1017. - Why are you grounded?
- Why?Copy !req
1018. Because God hates me.
He has made my life miserable.Copy !req
1019. So I call Him a cocksucking asshole,
and I get grounded.Copy !req
1020. - So will you help us?
- Very well.Copy !req
1021. Meet me in the backyard
in five minutes. "Viva La Résistance. "Copy !req
1022. We'll show God that we won't fucking...Copy !req
1023. What? Christophe, get in here!Copy !req
1024. Coming, mother.Copy !req
1025. I must be strong. I must be strong.Copy !req
1026. Saddam, I need to talk to you.Copy !req
1027. Get packing, bitch. We have to go!
We're running out of time!Copy !req
1028. Saddam, sometimes you can love
a person very much...Copy !req
1029. ...but still know
they aren't right for you.Copy !req
1030. What are you talking about?Copy !req
1031. You treat me like shit!
I'm leaving you!Copy !req
1032. I'm going up to Earth to rule alone.Copy !req
1033. No! No, you can't do that!Copy !req
1034. I'm sorry, but I have to be strong.Copy !req
1035. Give me another chance!
I have to go to Earth!Copy !req
1036. You don't have respect for me!Copy !req
1037. Sure I do, guy.
Please just hear me out.Copy !req
1038. Some people say that I'm a bad guyCopy !req
1039. They may be right
They may be rightCopy !req
1040. But it's not as if I don't tryCopy !req
1041. I just fuck up, try as I mightCopy !req
1042. But I can change, I can changeCopy !req
1043. I can learn to keep my promises
I swear itCopy !req
1044. I'll open up my heart
And I will share itCopy !req
1045. Any minute now, I will be born againCopy !req
1046. Yes I can change, I can changeCopy !req
1047. I know I've been
A dirty little bastardCopy !req
1048. I like to kill, I like to maim
I'm insane, but it's okayCopy !req
1049. 'Cause I can changeCopy !req
1050. It's not my fault that I'm so evilCopy !req
1051. It's society, societyCopy !req
1052. You see my parents
Were sometimes abusiveCopy !req
1053. And it made a prick of meCopy !req
1054. But I can change, I can changeCopy !req
1055. What if you remain
A sandy little buttholeCopy !req
1056. Don't be such a twit
Mother Teresa won't have shit on meCopy !req
1057. Just watch me change
Here I go. I'm changing!Copy !req
1058. You see, I've really matured.Copy !req
1059. All right.Copy !req
1060. Come on, we have to hurry.Copy !req
1061. I love you.Copy !req
1062. Ladies and gentlemen
of the American Army...Copy !req
1063. ...welcome to the USO show.Copy !req
1064. Get ready for loads of entertainment
and fabulous celebrities...Copy !req
1065. ...followed immediately by
the execution of Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
1066. This is where those military bitches
intend to kill Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
1067. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1068. God? He is the biggest bitch
of them all.Copy !req
1069. Hurry. We rendezvous
with the other kids at 10.Copy !req
1070. You realize we could be grounded
for two, even three weeks.Copy !req
1071. - We're willing to take that risk.
- Let's go.Copy !req
1072. And now, here are your hosts
for the evening, Sheila Broflovski...Copy !req
1073. ...and Big Gay Al.Copy !req
1074. Al, tonight is a very special night.
Do you know why?Copy !req
1075. They're having a sale at Merv's?Copy !req
1076. No. Because we're going
to abolish Canadian smut.Copy !req
1077. That's right, Sheila.
Bring out the condemned.Copy !req
1078. Today is a great day for democracy!Copy !req
1079. This is worse than when you put your
dick in my mouth and took a picture.Copy !req
1080. I know, Terrance. I know.Copy !req
1081. While you're getting set up over there,
let's bring out our first act:Copy !req
1082. Yippie, the back-flipping dog!Copy !req
1083. Be careful not to touch this wire.Copy !req
1084. Motherfuck...Copy !req
1085. Fuck.Copy !req
1086. The show has started.
We're running out of time.Copy !req
1087. Do you see Terrance and Phillip?Copy !req
1088. Yes, but they are heavily guarded.Copy !req
1089. Dig from here,
so as not to be seen.Copy !req
1090. Come on, bitches.Copy !req
1091. Mole, do you know where
the clitoris is?Copy !req
1092. - The what?
- The clitoris.Copy !req
1093. I have to find it,
so I can get Wendy to like me.Copy !req
1094. Stop thinking with your dick!Copy !req
1095. Be on your toes, because I won't
be grounded again!Copy !req
1096. Not for you! Not for anybody!Copy !req
1097. Men, when you're out there
in the battlefield...Copy !req
1098. ...and you're looking into
the beady eyes of a Canadian...Copy !req
1099. ...as he charges you with
his hockey stick or whatever he has...Copy !req
1100. ...and people are dying all around you,
just remember what the MPAA says:Copy !req
1101. "Deplorable violence is okay as long as
people don't say any naughty words. "Copy !req
1102. That is what this war is all about.Copy !req
1103. What?Copy !req
1104. Shit!Copy !req
1105. Move, move.Copy !req
1106. We will split up here.
Let's synchronize watches.Copy !req
1107. - We don't have watches.
- You don't?Copy !req
1108. - You didn't say anything about watches.
- What do you think this is?Copy !req
1109. TV kiddie hour where we sit around
and lick Barney the Dinosaur's pussy?Copy !req
1110. This is real life, with consequences
you take to the grave.Copy !req
1111. - We don't have watches.
- Shit!Copy !req
1112. - Did you bring the mirror?
- Got it.Copy !req
1113. - And the rope?
- Check.Copy !req
1114. - And the buttfor?
- What's a "buttfor"?Copy !req
1115. For pooping, silly.Copy !req
1116. I'll dig under the stage. With
that bedrock, I'll need more time.Copy !req
1117. Stan and Kyle, stall the show
anyway you can.Copy !req
1118. Keep that show going
until I get the prisoners.Copy !req
1119. Cartman, over there is
the electrical box.Copy !req
1120. Shut it off before I return
with Terrance and Phillip...Copy !req
1121. ...or the alarm will sound
and I'll be attacked by dogs.Copy !req
1122. Got it?Copy !req
1123. You must shut off the alarms.
I fucking hate guard dogs!Copy !req
1124. I heard you,
you British piece of shit.Copy !req
1125. If anything goes wrong, make a sound
like a dying giraffe.Copy !req
1126. What's a dying giraffe sound like?Copy !req
1127. - Let's go.
- Be careful, dude.Copy !req
1128. Was my mother careful when she
stabbed me in the heart...Copy !req
1129. ...with a clothes hanger,
while I was still in the womb?Copy !req
1130. Damn, that kid is fucked up.Copy !req
1131. How are those chairs coming?Copy !req
1132. Al, we're minutes away.Copy !req
1133. Super. Here is pint-sized pixie
and darling of the indie movie scene...Copy !req
1134. ...Winona Ryder!Copy !req
1135. Hi, guys.Copy !req
1136. I'm super-psyched to be here today.Copy !req
1137. What you're doing for our country
is so cool.Copy !req
1138. I mean war, man. Wow, war.Copy !req
1139. You know? Wow.Copy !req
1140. Okay, and now for your enjoyment,
here's my famous Ping-Pong ball trick.Copy !req
1141. Oh, my!Copy !req
1142. "Shut off the power, Cartman. "Copy !req
1143. "This is very important, Cartman. "Copy !req
1144. - Did you hear what Winona Ryder's doing?
- We can't miss this.Copy !req
1145. There. I didn't miss one.
That's my Ping-Pong ball trick!Copy !req
1146. That's all the acts we have
for tonight...Copy !req
1147. ...so let's just get on with
the execution!Copy !req
1148. - No, we have to stall him.
- More! More!Copy !req
1149. Yeah! More!Copy !req
1150. You big sillies.
You want to see more of me?Copy !req
1151. Yeah! Big Gay Al! Big Gay Al!Copy !req
1152. Well, I do have a little song I wrote
about the war.Copy !req
1153. But we haven't rehearsed.Copy !req
1154. Sing it!Copy !req
1155. I can't.Copy !req
1156. Sing the fucking song!Copy !req
1157. All right. If you insist,
I'll sing my song.Copy !req
1158. I believe it goes
a little bit like this.Copy !req
1159. Bombs are flyingCopy !req
1160. People are dyingCopy !req
1161. Children are crying
Politicians are lying tooCopy !req
1162. Cancer is killingCopy !req
1163. Texaco's spillingCopy !req
1164. The whole world's gone to hell
But how are you?Copy !req
1165. I'm super
Thanks for askingCopy !req
1166. I couldn't be betterCopy !req
1167. I must sayCopy !req
1168. I'm feeling superCopy !req
1169. No, nothing bugs meCopy !req
1170. Everything is super when you're...Copy !req
1171. Don't you think I look cute
In this hatCopy !req
1172. I'm so sorry, Mr. CrippleCopy !req
1173. But I just can't feel too bad
For you right nowCopy !req
1174. Because I'm feeling
So insanely superCopy !req
1175. That even the fact that you can't walk
Can't bring me downCopy !req
1176. He's super
Thanks for askingCopy !req
1177. All things considered
He couldn't be better, he must sayCopy !req
1178. I'm superCopy !req
1179. No, nothing bugs meCopy !req
1180. Don't you think I look cute in this hatCopy !req
1181. These pants
This matching tie I got at Merv'sCopy !req
1182. In the barracks
And the trenches as wellCopy !req
1183. - Stick 'em up!
- Big Gay Al says you have to tellCopy !req
1184. Yes, he's super
And he's proud to be gayCopy !req
1185. Everything is super
When you're gayCopy !req
1186. When you're gayCopy !req
1187. Again! Again!Copy !req
1188. Who's there?Copy !req
1189. (Cartman, can you deliver a message for me, please?)Copy !req
1190. Son of a gun! Heck!Copy !req
1191. (Just tell them that they're coming right now.)Copy !req
1192. They're coming?Copy !req
1193. (Yes, they're coming, right now! They're coming!)Copy !req
1194. But our moms won't listen to us.Copy !req
1195. (I'm telling you for the last time: They're coming!)Copy !req
1196. Okay, everybody, just want to
thank our wonderful sponsors...Copy !req
1197. He's almost got them.Copy !req
1198. We're here to rescue you.
Follow me through the tunnel.Copy !req
1199. You guys! Seriously.
I saw Kenny again.Copy !req
1200. Did you shut the alarm off?Copy !req
1201. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1202. Hear that?
Sounds like a dying giraffe.Copy !req
1203. Shit!Copy !req
1204. - A spy!
- Get him!Copy !req
1205. Shit! Shit!Copy !req
1206. Come on, Mole!Copy !req
1207. Shit! Shit!
Fucking guard dogs! Shit!Copy !req
1208. The alarms went off.Copy !req
1209. That was my bad. Sorry.Copy !req
1210. Hold me. It's so very cold.Copy !req
1211. There is no hope. Get out.Copy !req
1212. - We can't leave without you.
- It's okay.Copy !req
1213. No, we can't.
We don't know where we are!Copy !req
1214. Where's your God
when you need him?Copy !req
1215. Where is your beautiful,
merciful faggot now?Copy !req
1216. Here I come, God.Copy !req
1217. Here I come, you fucking rat.Copy !req
1218. Now the light she fadesCopy !req
1219. And darkness settles inCopy !req
1220. But I will find strengthCopy !req
1221. - No, Mole, hang on.
- I will find pride withinCopy !req
1222. - We'll get you home.
- Because although I dieCopy !req
1223. - I can't face my mother.
- Our freedom will be wonCopy !req
1224. Not alone.Copy !req
1225. Though I dieCopy !req
1226. "La Résistance" lives...Copy !req
1227. ...onCopy !req
1228. Shit!Copy !req
1229. Okay, here it is. The moment we've
all been awaiting: The execution!Copy !req
1230. The day is ours!Copy !req
1231. We have to tell them about
Saddam Hussein and Satan.Copy !req
1232. - No. My mom can't see me here.
- You have to stand up to your mother.Copy !req
1233. Gentlemen, do you have
any last words?Copy !req
1234. Last words? How's aboot,
"Get me the fuck out of this chair!"Copy !req
1235. How's that?Copy !req
1236. All right, anonymous, ready the switch.Copy !req
1237. Wait!Copy !req
1238. Go on, dude, tell her.Copy !req
1239. - I can't.
- You can't kill Terrance and Phillip.Copy !req
1240. If they die, Satan and Saddam Hussein
will take over the world.Copy !req
1241. Throw the switch, Mr. Garrison.Copy !req
1242. I'm supposed to be anonymous.Copy !req
1243. Goodbye, bastards!Copy !req
1244. The Canadians are attacking!
Run for your lives!Copy !req
1245. We have to shut off the power!Copy !req
1246. Fuck!Copy !req
1247. Some little fat kid saved us!Copy !req
1248. Wait! We have to get you
to the rendezvous point.Copy !req
1249. Ned, behind you!Copy !req
1250. Be not afraid.Copy !req
1251. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1252. Behold my glory.Copy !req
1253. What are you?Copy !req
1254. I am the clitoris.Copy !req
1255. The clitoris?
I found the clitoris!Copy !req
1256. Stan, you must not let Terrance and
Phillip's blood spill on the ground.Copy !req
1257. Tell me how to get Wendy to like me.Copy !req
1258. There are more important matters
right now.Copy !req
1259. I looked all over for you.
Tell me how to get Wendy to like me.Copy !req
1260. Dude, just have confidence in yourself.Copy !req
1261. Believe in yourself, and others
will believe in you.Copy !req
1262. Chicks love confidence.
Now go. Hurry!Copy !req
1263. The clitoris has spoken.Copy !req
1264. Stan, are you okay?Copy !req
1265. I see you failed. I should not
have sent a boy to do a man's job.Copy !req
1266. Come on!
We've got precious little time!Copy !req
1267. Die, Canadian, m'kay?Copy !req
1268. Did you hear that?
I farted.Copy !req
1269. You did? Just now?Copy !req
1270. - Terrance and Phillip!
- Let's get to the rendezvous point!Copy !req
1271. It's Mr. Garrison.Copy !req
1272. Children, take Mr. Hat.
Please get him out of here.Copy !req
1273. Holy shit!
This V-chip is getting all screwy.Copy !req
1274. Take cover in the trench!Copy !req
1275. Human Shield up front, then
Operation Get-Behind-the-Darkies.Copy !req
1276. Remember, Human Shield,
protect our tanks and planes too.Copy !req
1277. Holy mother of Jehoshaphat!Copy !req
1278. Fire on my command.Copy !req
1279. All right, squad, just like I told you.Copy !req
1280. One... two...Copy !req
1281. Do some people gonna die?Copy !req
1282. - Fire!
... three!Copy !req
1283. What in the...Copy !req
1284. Great plan, Chef.Copy !req
1285. Operation Human Shield, my ass!Copy !req
1286. My God, this is terrible.Copy !req
1287. This is what we wanted!Copy !req
1288. We wanted our children to be
brought up in a smut-free environment!Copy !req
1289. But we didn't want this.Copy !req
1290. Where are you going?Copy !req
1291. We're going to find our boys.Copy !req
1292. For God's sake, Sheila, we're
going to get them killed!Copy !req
1293. All those times I said
you were a big dumb Jew?Copy !req
1294. I didn't mean it. You're not a Jew.Copy !req
1295. Yes, I am! I am a Jew, Cartman!Copy !req
1296. Don't be so hard on yourself.Copy !req
1297. Why am I still holding this?Copy !req
1298. Mr. Hat! No!Copy !req
1299. Fuck this. I'm getting out
before I get in trouble.Copy !req
1300. I heard that.Copy !req
1301. I found the clitoris.
Now I can get Wendy to like me again.Copy !req
1302. Swell, Stan.Copy !req
1303. I guess all's well that ends well.
We can go home now. Dipshit.Copy !req
1304. What's wrong?Copy !req
1305. We can't let Terrance and Phillip die,
or the whole world will end.Copy !req
1306. Terrance, look!Copy !req
1307. There they are!Copy !req
1308. Phillip, we're done for!Copy !req
1309. All right, men! Fire!Copy !req
1310. Goodbye, Terrance.Copy !req
1311. What is this?Copy !req
1312. Don't shoot!Copy !req
1313. I'll take care of this.
Kids, get out of the way now!Copy !req
1314. I'm not going to let you kill them, Mom!Copy !req
1315. What, what, what?Copy !req
1316. I'm not moving!Copy !req
1317. Stand down. You can still see
fart jokes on Nickelodeon.Copy !req
1318. No! This is about
more than fart jokes!Copy !req
1319. This is about freedom of speech,
about censorship...Copy !req
1320. ...and stuff.Copy !req
1321. What about Ike? Did you forget
your adopted son is Canadian?Copy !req
1322. I'm doing very important things.Copy !req
1323. But you never took the time
to talk to me.Copy !req
1324. Whenever I get in trouble,
you blame everybody else.Copy !req
1325. But I'm the one to blame.
Deal with me.Copy !req
1326. You keep fighting all these causes.Copy !req
1327. But I don't want a fighter.Copy !req
1328. I want my mom.Copy !req
1329. Poor little fella!Copy !req
1330. Holy shit, dude!Copy !req
1331. Young man, you watch your mouth!Copy !req
1332. My time has come!Copy !req
1333. You are really fucked now!Copy !req
1334. It's Saddam Hussein! Shoot him!Copy !req
1335. What a dumb ass!Copy !req
1336. You have spilled
the blood of the innocent.Copy !req
1337. Now begins 2 million
years of darkness.Copy !req
1338. Good job, Ms. Broflovski.
Thanks a lot.Copy !req
1339. I was trying to make the world
a better place for children.Copy !req
1340. And you brought enough intolerance
to allow my coming.Copy !req
1341. Now, everyone bow down to me!Copy !req
1342. Bend over!Copy !req
1343. What have we done?Copy !req
1344. Saddam, I'm the dark ruler, not you.Copy !req
1345. Relax.
Better seen, not heard.Copy !req
1346. (Satan, you gotta do something!)Copy !req
1347. I can't.Copy !req
1348. Let's start by building
a big statue of me!Copy !req
1349. There, where that fat kid is standing.Copy !req
1350. Don't call me fat, buttfucker!Copy !req
1351. Yeah, Cartman, do it.Copy !req
1352. Damn! Shit!
Respect my fucking authority!Copy !req
1353. You need to watch your mouth, brat!Copy !req
1354. Dogshit taco!Copy !req
1355. Quick, do something.Copy !req
1356. Try this on for size.Copy !req
1357. Blood-drenched,
frozen tampon popsicle!Copy !req
1358. Buddy, I know I was mean before.
But don't worry, I can change.Copy !req
1359. Not!Copy !req
1360. Fuck, shit, cock, ass,
titties, boner...Copy !req
1361. ...bitch, muff, pussy, cunt,
butthole, Barbra Streisand!Copy !req
1362. What are you waiting for, bitch?
Destroy him!Copy !req
1363. You weak, stupid cum bucket.
Save me!Copy !req
1364. That's it!Copy !req
1365. I have had enough of you!Copy !req
1366. He spent so much time convincing me
I was weak and stupid...Copy !req
1367. ...that I believed it myself.Copy !req
1368. I have you to thank, little one.Copy !req
1369. You showed me that I had
to get away from him.Copy !req
1370. Just make any wish you want
and I shall grant it.Copy !req
1371. (I want everything to go back to the way it was before.)Copy !req
1372. - Are you sure?
- What did he say?Copy !req
1373. His wish is for everything to go back
to the way it was before this war.Copy !req
1374. Kenny, you realize that means
you'd go back too.Copy !req
1375. (I know. but I learned something today. In the end...)Copy !req
1376. (...and I knew I had to do it for all the lives in the world.)Copy !req
1377. Very well, then.Copy !req
1378. I will pull my minions back.Copy !req
1379. I guess I'm destined
to live in hell alone.Copy !req
1380. Hello.Copy !req
1381. What's this?Copy !req
1382. Hi, there, little guy.Copy !req
1383. Would you like to go to hell with me?Copy !req
1384. Sure. I bet we can be
best friends, Mr. Satan.Copy !req
1385. Feel free to come back
and visit anytime.Copy !req
1386. I just might do that.Copy !req
1387. Thanks, Kenny.Copy !req
1388. Thanks for going back to hell for us.
You're a pal.Copy !req
1389. Goodbye, you guys.Copy !req
1390. I'm alive.
Where's Mr. Hat?Copy !req
1391. Wow. We were all dying
and now we're fine. That's super!Copy !req
1392. What the fuck's going on?Copy !req
1393. See, Mom? It was Cartman's filthy
fucking mouth that saved us all.Copy !req
1394. I'm sorry I didn't pay attention
to you, Kyle.Copy !req
1395. But what about Gregory?Copy !req
1396. - I never cared for Gregory.
- You didn't?Copy !req
1397. No, dude. Fuck Gregory!
Fuck him right in the ear!Copy !req
1398. Thank you, clitoris.Copy !req
1399. Everything worked out
What a happy endCopy !req
1400. Americans and Canadians
Are friends againCopy !req
1401. So let's all join hands
And knock oppression downCopy !req
1402. Don't you know our little lives
Are now complete?Copy !req
1403. 'Cause Terrance and Phillip
Are sweetCopy !req
1404. Super sweetCopy !req
1405. Thank God we live in this
Quiet little pissantCopy !req
1406. Redneck podunk jerkwaterCopy !req
1407. Greenhorn one-horse mudhole
Peckerwood right-wing whistle-stopCopy !req
1408. Hobnail truck-driving
Old-fashioned hayseed inbredCopy !req
1409. Unkempt out-of-date
White trashCopy !req
1410. Kick-ass!
Mountain...Copy !req
1411. ...town!Copy !req
1412. Look!Copy !req