1. So, I know what you're thinking.
Copy !req
2. Why is that incredibly handsome hedgehog
Copy !req
3. being chased by a madman
with a mustache from the civil war?
Copy !req
4. Well, fo be honest,
Copy !req
5. it feels like I've been running
my whole life.
Copy !req
6. Is this foo much? Am I going foo fast?
Copy !req
7. It's kind of what I do...
You know what? Let's back up.
Copy !req
8. This is the island where I'm from.
Copy !req
9. It had everything.
Copy !req
10. Sandy beaches, cascading waterfalls,
Copy !req
11. public access fo loop-de-loops.
Copy !req
12. And I never had fo cafch a school bus
Copy !req
13. because I could run
across the entire island
Copy !req
14. in less than two seconds.
Copy !req
15. Also there was no school.
Copy !req
16. I know, pretty sweet island, right?
Copy !req
17. Yeah!
Copy !req
18. I was born with extraordinary powers
and was told to keep them secret.
Copy !req
19. And like any kia,
I did the exact opposite.
Copy !req
20. That's longclaw. She fook care of me.
Copy !req
21. She was basically Obi-Wan Kenobi
jf Obi-Wan Kenobi had a beak and ate mice.
Copy !req
22. Sonic, someone could have seen you.
Copy !req
23. No one saw me. I'm too fast!
Copy !req
24. And I wanted to bring you this.
Copy !req
25. Get down!
Copy !req
26. Turns out, with great power
comes great power-hungry bad guys.
Copy !req
27. And I led them right fo us.
Copy !req
28. Listen carefully, Sonic.
Copy !req
29. You have a power unlike
anything I have ever seen.
Copy !req
30. And that means someone
will always want it.
Copy !req
31. The only way to stay safe
is to stay hidden.
Copy !req
32. This world is on the far side
of the universe.
Copy !req
33. You should be safe there.
Copy !req
34. - I don't want to go without you.
- You must.
Copy !req
35. These rings will be
your most important possession.
Copy !req
36. If you're ever discovered, use one.
Copy !req
37. Never stop running.
Copy !req
38. Now go!
Copy !req
39. Longclaw!
Copy !req
40. Goodbye, Sonic.
Copy !req
41. Nol!
Copy !req
42. Nol!
Copy !req
43. Come on, one car?
Copy !req
44. I'm bored.
Copy !req
45. Tom, do you read me? Are you there?
Copy !req
46. No, Wade,
I'm actually on a yacht in Barbados.
Copy !req
47. With Rihanna.
Copy !req
48. O-m-g.
Copy !req
49. That's amazing. Please send pics.
Copy !req
50. No, Wade. I'm at the speed trap.
Copy !req
51. Already? How did you get back so fast?
Barbados is in the ocean!
Copy !req
52. Hang on, I think I got something.
Copy !req
53. Hey, buddy! Where's the fire?
Copy !req
54. Got kids living around here.
Copy !req
55. I thought that was kind of funny. Sorry.
Copy !req
56. What?
Copy !req
57. Tom, we need you down on main street.
Copy !req
58. There's been a violent gang shoot-out.
Copy !req
59. Just kidding. A duck stole a bagel.
Copy !req
60. But they do need it back.
Copy !req
61. Whoa, buddy. You almost
got yourself killed out there.
Copy !req
62. What are you,
some kind of adrenaline junkie?
Copy !req
63. It must be rough being slow all the time.
Copy !req
64. Tell you what. Today is your lucky day.
Copy !req
65. Have you ever felt so alive?
Copy !req
66. This is great. You're doing amazing.
Copy !req
67. Oh, geez!
Copy !req
68. Good recovery.
Copy !req
69. Let's keep this our little secret, okay?
Copy !req
70. You never saw me. I was never here.
Copy !req
71. So, what were you expecting?
Copy !req
72. A dirty little hedgehog eating berries
and struggling fo survive?
Copy !req
73. Think again. Because I am
living my best life on earth.
Copy !req
74. I've got a library...
Copy !req
75. A home gym,
Copy !req
76. and a slate-of-the-art security system.
Copy !req
77. Oh, no.
Copy !req
78. And if I'm ever discovered,
[Ll follow longclaw's instructions
Copy !req
79. and use my rings
lo escape to a new planet.
Copy !req
80. A nice, safe little world
filled only with mushrooms.
Copy !req
81. Gross, smelly mushrooms.
Copy !req
82. I hate mushrooms.
Copy !req
83. But let's not worry about all that.
Copy !req
84. This is green hills,
the greatest place on earth.
Copy !req
85. These are my people, Ana, aare I say,
I am their lovable space creature.
Copy !req
86. So what if they don't know I exist?
Copy !req
87. My favorite person is the donut lora,
Copy !req
88. protector of this town
Copy !req
89. and defender of all creatures,
big and small.
Copy !req
90. Morning.
Copy !req
91. Donald. Daisy. Daffy.
Copy !req
92. Donut lord lives with pretzel lady.
Copy !req
93. She is super nice to animals
Copy !req
94. and strangely was born without bones.
Copy !req
95. Ouch, ouch, ouch.
Copy !req
96. There is one person in town
who's actually onto me.
Copy !req
97. He calls me the blue devil.
Copy !req
98. I almost caught him last night.
Copy !req
99. Say hello to crazy Carl.
Copy !req
100. We have fun together.
Copy !req
101. I know you're out there!
Copy !req
102. And I know you're real!
Copy !req
103. No, I'm not!
Copy !req
104. Movie night is my favorite.
Copy !req
105. Please, please.
Copy !req
106. Yes! Keanu!
Copy !req
107. You are a national treasure.
Copy !req
108. - When I find you...
- Pop quiz, hotshot.
Copy !req
109. There's a bomb on a bus.
Copy !req
110. "Pop quiz, hotshot."
Copy !req
111. It's a classic line.
Copy !req
112. Basically, we're like a family.
Copy !req
113. Even though we haven't met yet.
Copy !req
114. You don't think your prolonged isolation
is making you a bit crazy perhaps?
Copy !req
115. Crazy? Me?
Copy !req
116. No way, doc. You got me all wrong.
Copy !req
117. And despite all these so-called friends
of yours, deep down,
Copy !req
118. you're still rather lonely?
Copy !req
119. Perhaps afraid you'll be alone forever?
Copy !req
120. Uh-uh. Hey! No, no.
Copy !req
121. Get out of there. Come on.
Copy !req
122. Oh, come on! Get out of there!
Copy !req
123. Get out of there, you trash pandas.
Copy !req
124. Maddie, as green hills'
most respected veterinarian,
Copy !req
125. what is the fastest way
to exterminate a raccoon?
Copy !req
126. Hi, ozzy. Hello! You're glad to see me.
Copy !req
127. You don't eat garbage, do you?
Copy !req
128. What's that?
Copy !req
129. - Is that what I think it is?
- Uh-huh. Open it.
Copy !req
130. Oh, it's kind of small. Is that bad?
Copy !req
131. Just open it.
Copy !req
132. "Dear Thomas,
Copy !req
133. we have reviewed your application
to the San Francisco police department,
Copy !req
134. and pending interdepartmental review
and background check,
Copy !req
135. we are happy to inform you that you have
been selected to join our team."
Copy !req
136. Oh, my god! "Wow.
Copy !req
137. Oh, my god.
Copy !req
138. Ta-dal
Copy !req
139. "San Francisco sucks."
Copy !req
140. Wrong one!
Copy !req
141. Ta-dal
Copy !req
142. - you never had a doubt, huh?
- No! Mm-mmm.
Copy !req
143. - I can't believe this.
- Oh, I know! You did it.
Copy !req
144. Hey, what are those?
Copy !req
145. Apartments for rent I found on zillow.
Copy !req
146. I thought ozzy and I could fly there
tomorrow and check out some neighborhoods.
Copy !req
147. I mean, this is all happening so fast.
Copy !req
148. Oh, man. It's the craziest thing.
Copy !req
149. You apply for the job, you get the job.
Copy !req
150. Well, pending a background check.
Copy !req
151. Oh, man.
Copy !req
152. Hope they don't find out about that time
you used the neighbor's Wi-Fi.
Copy !req
153. I'm still using
the neighbor's Wi-Fi.
Copy !req
154. But, maddie, are you sure
you're okay with this?
Copy !req
155. Thomas Michael wachowski,
Copy !req
156. what did you do the entire time
I was in veterinary school?
Copy !req
157. I worked a second job
to pay the rent and...
Copy !req
158. A third job to pay tuition.
Copy !req
159. You sacrificed for me.
I'm happy to sacrifice for you.
Copy !req
160. Babe, are you sure you're okay with this?
Copy !req
161. I mean, there's been
a wachowski protecting this town
Copy !req
162. for more than 50 years.
Copy !req
163. This is a big change.
Copy !req
164. I'm positive.
Copy !req
165. It's time for this guy to get out there
and prove himself.
Copy !req
166. I love green hills, but, you know,
I want to help people in real trouble.
Copy !req
167. I want someone to turn to me
in a life-and-death situation
Copy !req
168. and I'll be there for 'em.
Copy !req
169. I get it.
Copy !req
170. - I'm so proud of you.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
171. And so it is with a heavy heart
that I tell you all
Copy !req
172. that I've accepted a position
at the San Francisco police department,
Copy !req
173. effective immediately.
Copy !req
174. It's gonna be tough to leave my hometown
and all my friendships.
Copy !req
175. But this is something
I feel like I need to do
Copy !req
176. to grow... as both an officer and a man.
Copy !req
177. What do you think, sergeant sprinkles?
Copy !req
178. That wasn't so bad, right?
Copy !req
179. Now all I gotto do is...
Copy !req
180. Tell everyone who isn't a donut.
Copy !req
181. Whoa, the playoffs!
Copy !req
182. So cool.
Copy !req
183. Bottom of the ninth, tie score.
Copy !req
184. And exactly who you want at the plate
with the game on the line... Sonic!
Copy !req
185. But staring him down
from the pitcher's mound
Copy !req
186. is the most fearsome southpaw
in green hills...
Copy !req
187. Also Sonic.
Copy !req
188. Okay. Focus, Sonic.
Copy !req
189. If you win this game, you'll be
the most beloved kid in green hills.
Copy !req
190. Hit it to the guy in left!
He's a real space case.
Copy !req
191. I can't with that guy.
Copy !req
192. Hey, batter Sonic. Hey, batter Sonic.
"Suh-wing," batter Sonic.
Copy !req
193. I got it, I got it, I got it!
Copy !req
194. I don't got it.
Copy !req
195. Go home! Go home!
Copy !req
196. Come on!
Copy !req
197. Safe!
Copy !req
198. Yes! Yes! I did it!
Copy !req
199. Did you see that? I did it. I did it.
Copy !req
200. I really am alone.
Copy !req
201. All alone. Forever.
Copy !req
202. I'm sure no one noticed
that giant blue explosion, right?
Copy !req
203. - Hey, Wade.
- Hi, Tom.
Copy !req
204. Wade here.
Copy !req
205. What is going on?
Copy !req
206. Well, gosh, I think the power's out.
Copy !req
207. Yeah, no dur! The lights are out.
The whole town is freaking out.
Copy !req
208. - What should I do?
- Okay, relax.
Copy !req
209. Take a deep breath, call Gil,
Copy !req
210. see if they can locate
the downed line, then...
Copy !req
211. Call zim and see if he can
get his generator over to the super q
Copy !req
212. so the food stays fresh.
Copy !req
213. Call zim before Gil?
Copy !req
214. - Call Gil... hello?
- I'll call you back.
Copy !req
215. Wait! Hello?
Was that the end of the instructions?
Copy !req
216. Okay, all right. You can do this.
Copy !req
217. What was the first thing he said to do?
Copy !req
218. Right. Relax.
Copy !req
219. Twenty minutes ago,
Copy !req
220. an energy surge knocked out power
across the entire pacific northwest.
Copy !req
221. What do we know?
Copy !req
222. Well, our first instinct was
it was an emp.
Copy !req
223. But electromagnetic pulses
don't have that kind of power.
Copy !req
224. NASA has ruled out
meteor strikes or solar flares.
Copy !req
225. The department of energy says
it's not a power plant malfunction.
Copy !req
226. Well, sounds like we're really good
at figuring out what it wasn't.
Copy !req
227. This could be a prelude
to a larger attack.
Copy !req
228. I'm suggesting we scramble
the fifth and sixth regiment.
Copy !req
229. No, no, no, no.
Copy !req
230. This needs a much more sophisticated mind.
Copy !req
231. Someone who understands technology.
Copy !req
232. - You want to send in a lab rat?
- Not just any lab rat.
Copy !req
233. A lab rat with teeth.
Copy !req
234. You're not suggesting
who I think you're suggesting.
Copy !req
235. I know, he's a little weird.
Weird?
Copy !req
236. - No. No way.
- He's a psychological tire fire!
Copy !req
237. But he's also brilliant.
Five phds, IQ off the charts.
Copy !req
238. And his drone tech is revolutionary!
Copy !req
239. You're sure he can handle this?
Copy !req
240. He has a perfect operations record.
Copy !req
241. - Remember the coup in Pakistan?
- No.
Copy !req
242. Or the uprising in azerbaijanistan?
Copy !req
243. - That's not even a country.
- Exactly.
Copy !req
244. And you can thank robotnik for that.
Copy !req
245. I can't believe
you're bringing that freak into this.
Copy !req
246. Neither can I, but...
Copy !req
247. We have no choice.
Copy !req
248. What the...
Copy !req
249. Are you in charge here?
Copy !req
250. - Yes, I am...
- Nope!
Copy !req
251. - My...
- Wrong!
Copy !req
252. - Name...
- I'm in charge!
Copy !req
253. - Is major...
- Me!
Copy !req
254. - Ben...
- I'm in charge.
Copy !req
255. You've never seen
anything like this before.
Copy !req
256. It says I'm the top banana
in a world full of hungry little monkeys.
Copy !req
257. Allow me to clarify.
Copy !req
258. In a sequentially ranked hierarchy
based on level of critical importance,
Copy !req
259. the disparity between us
is too vast to quantify.
Copy !req
260. - Agent stone?
- The doctor thinks you're basic.
Copy !req
261. I'm initiating a sweep sequence.
Copy !req
262. Ten miles in every direction
should suffice.
Copy !req
263. - Is he still looking at me funny?
- Yes, he is.
Copy !req
264. Tell him to stop
or I'll pull up his search history.
Copy !req
265. If you don't stop looking at the doctor,
Copy !req
266. - he'll take a closer look...
- I'm not deaf.
Copy !req
267. And tell him his men report to me now.
Copy !req
268. Excuse me? Listen, pal,
I don't know if you realize...
Copy !req
269. I'm sorry, major. What was your name?
Copy !req
270. - Benning...
- Nobody cares!
Copy !req
271. Nobody cares. Listen, major nobody cares.
Copy !req
272. You know why nobody cares who you are?
Copy !req
273. Because nobody cares
about your feeble accomplishments.
Copy !req
274. And nobody cares how proud your mommy is
Copy !req
275. that you're now reading
at a third-grade level.
Copy !req
276. Have you finished Charlotte's web yet?
Spoiler alert... she dies in the end.
Copy !req
277. But she leaves a big creepy egg sac.
Copy !req
278. My babies.
Copy !req
279. You know what I love about machines?
Copy !req
280. They do what they're told.
They follow their programming.
Copy !req
281. They don't need time off to get drunk
and put the boat in the water.
Copy !req
282. Now you do what you're told.
Copy !req
283. Stand over there on the edge
of your personal abyss...
Copy !req
284. And watch my machines do your job.
Copy !req
285. - Can you feel it, stone?
- I can feel it, doctor.
Copy !req
286. It's evolution, stone.
Copy !req
287. It's evolution!
Copy !req
288. - Agent stone?
- Doctor.
Copy !req
289. - Nothing at all, doctor.
- Of course you don't.
Copy !req
290. Your eyes weren't
expertly trained to spot tracks
Copy !req
291. by the native American shadow wolves.
Copy !req
292. That's extraordinary.
Copy !req
293. No.
Copy !req
294. What's extraordinary is
I've determined the exact height, weight
Copy !req
295. and spinal curvature of this creature,
Copy !req
296. and my computer
can't find a single match for it
Copy !req
297. anywhere in earth's animal kingdom.
Copy !req
298. This blackout was not a terrorist attack,
and that's no baby bigfoot.
Copy !req
299. This guy is something else...
Copy !req
300. Entirely.
Copy !req
301. Divert all search units
to the site of the footprint.
Copy !req
302. That's one small step for man,
Copy !req
303. one giant leap for me.
Copy !req
304. Okay, okay. Everything is fine.
Copy !req
305. You played some baseball,
got a little upset,
Copy !req
306. lightning shot out of your butt,
and now they're coming for you.
Copy !req
307. All right, all right.
Earth isn't safe anymore.
Copy !req
308. Time for plan b... mushroomville.
Copy !req
309. But I gotta take my stuff.
Okay, essential items only.
Copy !req
310. Okay, toothbrush, toothpaste,
hair gel, night-light.
Copy !req
311. Funny hat. This half-eaten cantaloupe.
Copy !req
312. Oh, and my scented candle.
Copy !req
313. My entire comic book collection.
Beanbag chair.
Copy !req
314. Can a beanbag chair fit in a backpack?
Copy !req
315. No, no, no. Of course not. That's stupid.
Copy !req
316. Okay, what else? The rings!
The rings, yes, of course.
Copy !req
317. Here we go. Ring time.
Copy !req
318. Mushroom planet, here I come.
Copy !req
319. Oh, no. They're right outside.
Copy !req
320. I gotta go somewhere else.
Copy !req
321. Goodbye, cave.
Copy !req
322. Whatcha doing?
Copy !req
323. Just coloring with jojo and Rachel.
Copy !req
324. Ah, that sounds half fun.
Copy !req
325. Hey, exciting stuff here.
We had a power outage.
Copy !req
326. The whole town went dark.
Copy !req
327. It was like a sign telling me
to get out of dodge.
Copy !req
328. - Wade must have lost his mind.
- Yeah.
Copy !req
329. And he does not have much to lose.
Copy !req
330. How's your sister?
Did she convince you to leave me yet?
Copy !req
331. No, but she did tell me
to check your phone for dating apps.
Copy !req
332. The only apps on my phone
are the ones that came with it
Copy !req
333. and the olive garden.
Copy !req
334. - Because when you're there...
- You're family.
Copy !req
335. No way.
Copy !req
336. The raccoons are back.
Copy !req
337. And they are in for a surprise.
Copy !req
338. Your surprise better not be
my tranquilizer gun.
Copy !req
339. They're just hungry.
Copy !req
340. And also, that's for bears.
Copy !req
341. - Good. Now I know it'll work.
- Tom!
Copy !req
342. I'm kidding. I'm just gonna
use it to scare 'em.
Copy !req
343. Possibly to death.
Copy !req
344. - Love you, honey. Bye!
- Tom...
Copy !req
345. D-1-v-o-r-c-e.
Copy !req
346. Okay, I'm in.
Copy !req
347. With minimal damage
to donut lord's property.
Copy !req
348. Here we go.
Copy !req
349. It didn't work out on earth,
but that's okay.
Copy !req
350. You're going to a safe world.
Copy !req
351. A nice, safe world full of mushrooms...
Copy !req
352. Mushrooms that'll be your only friends.
Copy !req
353. That sounds awful. I can't do this.
Copy !req
354. You have to do it.
There's no other option.
Copy !req
355. All right.
Copy !req
356. Sfpd, pending background check.
Copy !req
357. Paws in the air!
Copy !req
358. Uh, meow?
Copy !req
359. "San... Francisco"?
Copy !req
360. No.
Copy !req
361. What?
Copy !req
362. The blue devil.
Copy !req
363. - Donut lord?
- It can talk.
Copy !req
364. You're not here to abduct me, are you?
Copy !req
365. You abducted me.
Copy !req
366. Okay, that's a fair point. What are you?
Copy !req
367. Why are you hiding out in my garage?
Copy !req
368. I needed somewhere safe.
Copy !req
369. And you're the only person
I could think of, donut lord.
Copy !req
370. Why do you keep calling me donut lord?
Copy !req
371. 'Cause you talk to donuts
and then eat them if they get out of line.
Copy !req
372. Again, fair.
Copy !req
373. Wait. Where are all the mushrooms?
Why am I still on earth?
Copy !req
374. What is... oh, no! I lost my rings.
Copy !req
375. What?
Copy !req
376. What's happening?
Is this your mother ship?
Copy !req
377. I'm not in the mood to get probed.
Copy !req
378. You think you're worried?
I'm not even wearing pants.
Copy !req
379. What the...
Copy !req
380. - They're coming for me!
- Who? What's that got to do with me?
Copy !req
381. I don't have time to explain,
but you have to help me.
Copy !req
382. No, I don't. Why?
Copy !req
383. Well, my legs, which normally
would be classified as lethal weapons,
Copy !req
384. feel like spaghetti.
Copy !req
385. I need your help.
Please. It's life or death.
Copy !req
386. Fine. Come with me.
Copy !req
387. Little help?
Copy !req
388. All right, stay here. And be quiet.
Copy !req
389. Good plan. Great plan!
We're already working so well together.
Copy !req
390. Practically finishing
each other's sentences.
Copy !req
391. Okay, bye.
Copy !req
392. Can I help you?
Copy !req
393. Good morning, my rural chum.
Copy !req
394. I'm... from the power company,
investigating the blackout.
Copy !req
395. If you don't mind, I'd like to take
a few readings inside your house?
Copy !req
396. No kidding? You're from the power company?
Copy !req
397. You must know my buddy Spencer.
We play softball together.
Copy !req
398. Spence.
Copy !req
399. He's a good man.
Copy !req
400. - Yeah. Come on in!
- Great.
Copy !req
401. Take all the readings you need.
Copy !req
402. Except,
Copy !req
403. doesn't the power company usually take
their readings from outside the house?
Copy !req
404. That way they can check them
even if you're not home.
Copy !req
405. Also my buddy Spencer
works for the gas company,
Copy !req
406. and he's more of an ultimate frisbee guy.
Copy !req
407. So, you want to tell me
why you think I'm dumb enough
Copy !req
408. to just let you walk inside my house?
Copy !req
409. I'm sorry, mister... wachowski.
Copy !req
410. But everyone calls me Tom.
Copy !req
411. Except my dentist, he calls me Tim.
Copy !req
412. But it's gone on for so long
that it would be weird if I corrected him.
Copy !req
413. Well, Tom whose dentist calls him Tim,
Copy !req
414. you may have noticed that this entire town
has been experiencing a power outage.
Copy !req
415. Yep, no lights. Picked up on that.
Copy !req
416. Twenty minutes ago, I tracked
an energy pulse with a similar signature
Copy !req
417. to the one that caused that disruption.
Copy !req
418. Listen, mister...
Copy !req
419. Doctor.
Copy !req
420. Dr. Robotnik. But my dentist calls me Rob.
Copy !req
421. Look, Dr. Robotskeez.
Copy !req
422. I'm sure what you're here for
is very serious,
Copy !req
423. but it's got nothing to do with me.
Copy !req
424. You can ask anyone in town.
Copy !req
425. - Everyone knows me.
- I bet they do.
Copy !req
426. I'm sure you're hella popular
with the jebs and merles and Billy Bobs
Copy !req
427. in this glorified gas-station rest stop.
Copy !req
428. Betcha go way back
to the days of tippin' cows
Copy !req
429. and playin' in a jug band!
Copy !req
430. And maybe someday you'll achieve your goal
Copy !req
431. of getting a costco card
or adopting a labradoodle.
Copy !req
432. But the reality is, I surpassed
everything you're ever going to do...
Copy !req
433. Before I was a toddler.
Copy !req
434. I was spitting out formulas
while you were still spitting up formula.
Copy !req
435. I was breastfed, actually.
Copy !req
436. Nice. Rub that in my orphan face.
Copy !req
437. Mr. Wachowski,
Copy !req
438. are you familiar with us code 904,
title 10, article 104?
Copy !req
439. Yeah, who isn't...
Copy !req
440. "Anyone who attempts to aid an enemy
of the United States shall suffer death."
Copy !req
441. And if I'm the one that catches you,
Copy !req
442. it'll be even worse.
Copy !req
443. Worse than death?
Copy !req
444. Okay, I'm a ball, just a normal ball.
I'm blending in like a ball.
Copy !req
445. Stop talking. No, you stop talking.
Be quiet, Sonic. You be quiet, Sonic.
Copy !req
446. Oh, I hope they aren't
scanning me with x-rays.
Copy !req
447. I had kind of an embarrassing lunch.
Copy !req
448. Don't freak out.
Don't freak out. Don't freak out.
Copy !req
449. Don't freak out. Don't freak out.
Copy !req
450. I'm freaking out!
Copy !req
451. Why don't you have
your staircase carpeted?
Copy !req
452. Compared to what I...
Copy !req
453. 0old pipes. Yeah.
Copy !req
454. Probably just the house settling.
Copy !req
455. Nothing to see here!
Copy !req
456. Hey!
Copy !req
457. Here's the thing.
Copy !req
458. I'm never wrong.
Copy !req
459. Well, first time for everything, I guess.
Copy !req
460. Would you like some cake?
Copy !req
461. I hear raccoons have the cleanest mouths
of any animal that routinely eats garbage.
Copy !req
462. Look at that.
Copy !req
463. I was right.
Copy !req
464. Shall we try this again?
Copy !req
465. I'm going to give you five seconds
to tell me where it is.
Copy !req
466. - Five.
- I don't know what you're talking about.
Copy !req
467. - Four.
- Hey, tough guy. I'm a cop.
Copy !req
468. And you're threatening an officer.
Copy !req
469. How can you threaten somebody
who never existed? Three.
Copy !req
470. Come on! Rack your brain.
Copy !req
471. You might be able to come up with some
lame excuse to go on living, in two...
Copy !req
472. One.
Copy !req
473. Wait! Don't hurt him!
Copy !req
474. This feels excessive.
Copy !req
475. Stay behind me.
Copy !req
476. Don't worry.
I got it right where I want it!
Copy !req
477. Can you believe Amazon is gonna deliver
packages with these things?
Copy !req
478. This was a horrible plan!
What was I thinking?
Copy !req
479. I'm gonna puke!
Copy !req
480. Come on! We gotta get out of here.
Copy !req
481. Oh, don't tell me that's all you got!
Copy !req
482. I'm just getting started!
Copy !req
483. Let me know if you want to go
round two with the blue.
Copy !req
484. Doctor! Are you okay?
Copy !req
485. I saw a guy race out of here and thought...
Copy !req
486. That you should stop them?
Copy !req
487. Open your mouth
Copy !req
488. and say you thought
that you should stop them.
Copy !req
489. No, I thought that maybe I should check
to see if you were okay.
Copy !req
490. You know what's hard about being
the smartest person in the world?
Copy !req
491. You got that one.
Copy !req
492. Whatever this creature is,
it's our job to secure it,
Copy !req
493. neutralize it,
uncover the source of its power.
Copy !req
494. And if it resists...
Copy !req
495. We take it apart... piece by piece.
Copy !req
496. See what makes it tick.
Copy !req
497. - Stone?
- Doctor?
Copy !req
498. Call optical illusions.
Copy !req
499. Tell them I need new frames.
Copy !req
500. They know what kind I like.
Copy !req
501. Oh, and bring that quill.
Copy !req
502. Yes, doctor.
Copy !req
503. All right, pal,
you need to start talking right now.
Copy !req
504. Who are you? What are you?
Copy !req
505. I'm a hedgehog!
I feel like that's obvious.
Copy !req
506. And I'm in big trouble.
Copy !req
507. Oh, you're in big trouble?
Copy !req
508. You're not the one who punched
some government weirdo back there.
Copy !req
509. You think you have problems?
I lost my rings.
Copy !req
510. - Rings? What are you talking about?
- Okay.
Copy !req
511. Rings are how all advanced cultures
travel between worlds.
Copy !req
512. And now mine are
on top of a pointy building
Copy !req
513. I've only ever seen
on your skintight t-shirt.
Copy !req
514. Hey.
Copy !req
515. So, I'd like you to take me
to San Francisco
Copy !req
516. so I can get back my rings and use them
to go to the mushroom planet.
Copy !req
517. Mushroom planet. Yes!
Copy !req
518. Right.
Copy !req
519. Okay, pal, out you go.
Copy !req
520. - I'm sorry, what?
- Look.
Copy !req
521. This is the worst possible time
for me to get myself into trouble, okay?
Copy !req
522. You asked me to save your life,
I saved your life.
Copy !req
523. Now, please, go find your rings
and your mushroom land.
Copy !req
524. Hopefully I'm gonna wake up
in a hospital bed
Copy !req
525. and the doctor's gonna tell me
that my colonoscopy was a big success.
Copy !req
526. Okay? So goodbye.
Copy !req
527. - Okay. Goodbye.
- Goodbye.
Copy !req
528. - Why aren't you leaving?
- I don't know where San Francisco is.
Copy !req
529. It's west. West?
Copy !req
530. - Straight shot, can't miss it.
- Fine. That's cool.
Copy !req
531. I'm totally cool saying goodbye now.
Copy !req
532. So, as I crashed into the cold,
dark water of the pacific,
Copy !req
533. I realized a few things.
Copy !req
534. A, I have no idea where I'm going.
Copy !req
535. B, salt water stings.
Copy !req
536. C, I shouldn't even be
on this planet right now, but I am.
Copy !req
537. Why"? Because you shot me!
Copy !req
538. - I know.
- You shot me!
Copy !req
539. All right, I heard you the first time.
You don't have to pile it on. Good grief.
Copy !req
540. I'm wet. I'm cold.
Copy !req
541. There's a fish on my head!
Copy !req
542. And clearly, I'm not gonna be able
to do this on my own.
Copy !req
543. All right, get in the truck.
Copy !req
544. Really? You're gonna help me?
Copy !req
545. I guess it is a little bit my fault
that all this is happening to you.
Copy !req
546. Not a little bit. Entirely.
It is entirely your fault.
Copy !req
547. Okay, it's entirely my fault.
Are you coming?
Copy !req
548. Yes.
Copy !req
549. Road trip!
Copy !req
550. What am I doing?
Copy !req
551. All right,
there's gonna be rules on this trip.
Copy !req
552. Number one,
do exactly as I say all the time.
Copy !req
553. - Got it?
- Got it, donut lord.
Copy !req
554. Would you stop with the "donut lord"?
Copy !req
555. I have a name. It's Tom.
Copy !req
556. I'm Sonic.
Copy !req
557. Sonic. Sonic.
Copy !req
558. So you've been spying on us all for years.
Copy !req
559. I mean, I wouldn't call it "spying."
Copy !req
560. We were all just hanging out,
Copy !req
561. only I wasn't invited
and no one knew I was there.
Copy !req
562. I can't believe crazy Carl
was right all this time.
Copy !req
563. Yeah. You should call him
super observant Carl instead.
Copy !req
564. Oh, my god, stop the car right now!
"What? What?
Copy !req
565. "The world's largest rubberband ball"?
Copy !req
566. - We gotta see it!
- No. No.
Copy !req
567. No, this is not some
fun family road trip, okay?
Copy !req
568. The government wants to dissect you
and arrest me. This is serious.
Copy !req
569. You're right. It was lame.
Copy !req
570. Gift shop was cool though.
I got you a mouse pad.
Copy !req
571. When are we gonna get there?
Copy !req
572. We will get there when we get there.
Copy !req
573. I'm gonna go check in with Wade,
see if he knows what's going on.
Copy !req
574. You're gonna see Wade in that glass thing?
Copy !req
575. What is it, a teleportation box?
Copy !req
576. It's a pay phone.
Copy !req
577. It's mostly for drug dealers
and fugitives from the law, which is us.
Copy !req
578. Stay in the car.
I don't want anybody seeing you.
Copy !req
579. Fine.
Copy !req
580. Okay, okay. That is the coolest place
on earth, but you have to stay in the car.
Copy !req
581. Be strong. Be strong.
Copy !req
582. Hello. Green hills police department.
Copy !req
583. - Wade, it's me.
- Hj
Copy !req
584. I'm so glad that you called.
Copy !req
585. So, some guys came in
asking some questions.
Copy !req
586. They're a little creepy.
Copy !req
587. Kind of reminded me
of the guys from men in black,
Copy !req
588. but not as likable
or charming as will Smith.
Copy !req
589. Wait, what kind of questions?
Copy !req
590. Questions about terrorism?
Copy !req
591. I told them that
I've gone ice fishing with Tom.
Copy !req
592. He doesn't know how to make a bomb.
Copy !req
593. He can't even make bait in the cold.
Copy !req
594. All right, Wade, listen to me.
This is really important.
Copy !req
595. Don't tell them that we talked, okay?
Copy !req
596. You know, I think they already know.
Copy !req
597. Mr. Wachowski.
Copy !req
598. Tom.
Copy !req
599. I want you to know
that the only other person
Copy !req
600. who ever punched me in the face
was the school bully.
Copy !req
601. He hit me in the cafeteria,
causing a blunt-force contusion
Copy !req
602. to the soft tissue
surrounding my orbital bone.
Copy !req
603. Humiliated me
in front of the entire school!
Copy !req
604. And do you know what I did in response?
Copy !req
605. I'm assuming that you reported him
to the principal's office
Copy !req
606. 'cause that kind of behavior
is really unacceptable.
Copy !req
607. No. I examined the inefficiency of a world
where brawn trumped brain,
Copy !req
608. and I used technology
to resolve that inefficiency.
Copy !req
609. The boy ate his meals
through a straw for a year.
Copy !req
610. And I have never lost a fight again.
Copy !req
611. Until today.
Copy !req
612. Hey, hooray for me then, huh?
Copy !req
613. No, because you're about to become
the bully with the straw!
Copy !req
614. I'm coming for you, Mr. Wachowski.
Copy !req
615. And when I catch you, ['ll...
Copy !req
616. Hello.
Copy !req
617. Hello?
Copy !req
618. Hello, hello, hello?
Copy !req
619. I think he actually hung up,
because I notice that the light isn't on.
Copy !req
620. Thank you, officer brainfart.
Copy !req
621. If you give me a second,
I can get an outside line.
Copy !req
622. No. Don't be bothered.
Copy !req
623. You just sit there and be "u"... 'Seless.
Copy !req
624. No one's gonna erase my memory here?
Copy !req
625. I will tell people about this!
Copy !req
626. Okay, not exactly
the healthiest meal, but...
Copy !req
627. Sonic?
Copy !req
628. Oh, no.
Copy !req
629. No, no!
Copy !req
630. Yeah!
Copy !req
631. Howdy, pardner!
Copy !req
632. I'm not your partner.
Come on. We're leaving.
Copy !req
633. But there's a zz top cover band.
You gotta see their beards.
Copy !req
634. You're gonna have to catch 'em
some other time. Let's go. Get up!
Copy !req
635. If we stay, I promise I won't say
another word for the rest of the trip,
Copy !req
636. starting... now.
Copy !req
637. Welcome to the piston pit.
What can I get you fellas?
Copy !req
638. I want nachos and buffalo wings.
Oh, and guac.
Copy !req
639. Funny word, isn't it? Guac, guac! Guac.
Copy !req
640. Hey, no kids allowed in here.
What's he got on, some kind of mask?
Copy !req
641. He's actually 43 years old
and suffers from a very rare skin disease
Copy !req
642. that stunts his growth
and makes him look... like that.
Copy !req
643. The face, I was born with.
Copy !req
644. The confidence, I picked up along the way.
Copy !req
645. - Make his a mello yello, please.
- Okay.
Copy !req
646. - You owe me one.
- I never sat on a barstool before.
Copy !req
647. So squishy!
Copy !req
648. Oh, look at this. It spins.
Copy !req
649. - Yes.
- Whoa, whoa, whoa!
Copy !req
650. - That's nice.
- I feel sick.
Copy !req
651. Are you having fun? Gonna check
this off the ol' bucket list, huh?
Copy !req
652. Big night for you.
What's a bucket list?
Copy !req
653. A bucket list is...
Copy !req
654. It's a list of things
you want to do in your life
Copy !req
655. before you, well, kick the bucket.
Copy !req
656. I've never kicked a bucket either!
Copy !req
657. Oh, I gotta make my list.
Copy !req
658. Uh-huh. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
659. Oh, Sonic!
Copy !req
660. Uh-huh.
Copy !req
661. What? What's the matter?
Copy !req
662. There's so much stuff I've never done.
Copy !req
663. And now that I'm leaving earth forever,
I guess I missed my chance.
Copy !req
664. Well, I guess this is the kind of place
you could get a lot of living done
Copy !req
665. in a short period of time.
Copy !req
666. I suppose we can spare an hour.
Copy !req
667. What? You're gonna bucket-list with me?
Copy !req
668. - Sure, why not?
- You won't regret this.
Copy !req
669. Oh, I'm pretty sure I will.
Copy !req
670. New high score!
Copy !req
671. Wait a second. Is this bull
missing a head, or does it have two butts?
Copy !req
672. This is easy.
Copy !req
673. Okay.
Copy !req
674. I'm a cowboy, baby!
Copy !req
675. I'm okay.
Copy !req
676. Yeah!
Copy !req
677. Yeah, yeah, laugh it up.
Copy !req
678. Nice work, Romeo.
Copy !req
679. - Glad you're having a good time.
- I am having a good time!
Copy !req
680. I'm having the best time.
I mean, what could go wrong?
Copy !req
681. Can we help you?
Copy !req
682. We don't like your kind around here.
Copy !req
683. Our kind? What kind is that?
Copy !req
684. Hipsters.
Copy !req
685. - How dare you.
- Hey. You know what?
Copy !req
686. We were leaving anyway. Weren't we?
There's not a problem here.
Copy !req
687. - No, no, no, it's okay.
- No, no, no, we're leaving.
Copy !req
688. I know exactly
how to handle this situation.
Copy !req
689. Pop quiz, hotshot.
Copy !req
690. You just picked a fight
with a poorly disguised hedgehog
Copy !req
691. who's seen way too many action movies.
Copy !req
692. What do you do? What do you do?
Copy !req
693. Am I crazy? It's supposed to break, right?
Copy !req
694. Break, please. Break, please.
Break this bottle, please.
Copy !req
695. - Please, please, please.
- Sonic?
Copy !req
696. Uh-oh!
Copy !req
697. Nice going!
Copy !req
698. Thanks! It's awesome right?
Copy !req
699. All right, who's next? Who wants some?
Copy !req
700. Who do I get to beat up?
Copy !req
701. Hey! Has anybody seen my waitress?
Copy !req
702. Still waiting on those buffalo wings.
Copy !req
703. Why, you!
Copy !req
704. Uh-oh!
Copy !req
705. Really?
Copy !req
706. Ole'
Copy !req
707. - So, should we get out of here?
- Yeah, time to go.
Copy !req
708. That was amazing!
Wait a second. Did we even pay our tab?
Copy !req
709. It doesn't matter!
Copy !req
710. Watch this, watch this.
I always wanted to do this.
Copy !req
711. - Get 'em!
- See ya, suckers!
Copy !req
712. I can't say for sure,
but I think they liked me.
Copy !req
713. Come on! Don't let 'em get away!
Copy !req
714. - Yes!
- Yeah!
Copy !req
715. - Yes!
- Ouch!
Copy !req
716. - He got you pretty good.
- I'm all right. I've been hit harder.
Copy !req
717. Did you see how much toilet paper I used?
Copy !req
718. The next person that goes into that
bathroom will have nothing to wipe with!
Copy !req
719. The floors were sticky.
The crowd was rough.
Copy !req
720. And the odds were against us.
Copy !req
721. But there was no stopping
donut lord and the blue blur.
Copy !req
722. Scratch another one off my list.
Copy !req
723. You are a weird little dude.
Copy !req
724. Okay.
Copy !req
725. So, what are we gonna do now?
Copy !req
726. I'm gonna pass out watching TV.
I think you should too.
Copy !req
727. But this is my last night on earth.
Copy !req
728. I want to soak up every last second.
Copy !req
729. All right, anything you can find to do
in this room, you knock yourself out.
Copy !req
730. Good times.
Copy !req
731. Oh, come on.
Copy !req
732. That's awful. What did you eat?
Copy !req
733. I think it's called a chili dog?
Copy !req
734. You might want to check your fur
on that one, buddy.
Copy !req
735. Hey. So, what's this next planet
you're supposed to go to like?
Copy !req
736. It's no earth, I can tell you that.
Copy !req
737. There's no people, just breathable air
and giant mushrooms and stuff.
Copy !req
738. Well, look at it this way.
Copy !req
739. At least you won't be the only "fun-guy."
Copy !req
740. No. Don't ever do that again.
Copy !req
741. I liked it.
Copy !req
742. I'm really gonna miss this place.
Copy !req
743. I know I have to leave earth to be safe,
but what if longclaw was wrong?
Copy !req
744. Maybe I could have a life here.
Copy !req
745. All right. We should get some sleep.
Copy !req
746. You sleep. Don't worry about me.
Copy !req
747. I'm gonna stay up all night
enjoying earth while I can.
Copy !req
748. Sure, kid.
Copy !req
749. As long as we're on the road by 8:00.
Copy !req
750. I had a chili dog.
That's why my farts smell.
Copy !req
751. Thomas wachowski, accused of committing
an act of domestic terrorism.
Copy !req
752. Wachowski is considered
armed and dangerous.
Copy !req
753. Any information regarding his whereabouts
Copy !req
754. should be reported
lo local authorities immediately.
Copy !req
755. Did he say where he was going?
Copy !req
756. Maybe. Maybe not.
Copy !req
757. Like I'd ever tell you.
Copy !req
758. Stand down, agent stone.
Copy !req
759. This well-meaning citizen
obviously doesn't understand
Copy !req
760. the urgency of the matter.
Copy !req
761. Really?
Copy !req
762. Now that's what I call good cop, bad cop.
Copy !req
763. Left yourself open.
Copy !req
764. Judging by the quickest route
to San Francisco,
Copy !req
765. the approximate speed of their vehicle,
and local weather conditions...
Copy !req
766. They should be...
Copy !req
767. Right about...
Copy !req
768. Here.
Copy !req
769. - That's brilliant, sir.
- Thanks... for nothing.
Copy !req
770. - So, what's on your bucket list?
- Who, me?
Copy !req
771. Yeah. Everyone has a bucket list, right?
Copy !req
772. Sure, but, I mean,
you're the one leaving earth,
Copy !req
773. and I'm not planning on dying
anytime soon.
Copy !req
774. Don't be so sure.
Your best friend is a magnet for danger.
Copy !req
775. - Are you anointing yourself as the bestie?
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
776. A little presumptuous,
but... I mean... what, no...
Copy !req
777. I like you, of course, but,
you know, we're not best friends.
Copy !req
778. You tucked me in last night.
Copy !req
779. Fine, fine, fine. Best animal friend.
Copy !req
780. - That would be my dog, ozzy.
- Okay.
Copy !req
781. Let's drop this increasingly humiliating
topic of conversation.
Copy !req
782. Bucket list. Give it to me!
Copy !req
783. Okay, there is one thing.
Copy !req
784. In green hills, I've always felt,
Copy !req
785. I don't know, more like a babysitter
than a real cop, you know?
Copy !req
786. So I want a chance to prove myself,
under real pressure.
Copy !req
787. I'm gonna move to San Francisco,
become a street cop.
Copy !req
788. And, I don't know,
see if I have what it takes.
Copy !req
789. What?
Copy !req
790. Why... why is your face doing that?
Copy !req
791. You're leaving green hills?
Copy !req
792. Okay.
Copy !req
793. B-b-but why?
Why would you leave green hills?
Copy !req
794. This may be hard for you to understand,
but green hills is a small town.
Copy !req
795. It's a very small town.
Copy !req
796. It's not small.
There are hundreds of people.
Copy !req
797. That's a small town, dude!
Copy !req
798. It's a perfect town,
and the people need you.
Copy !req
799. Please. I clean out their gutters.
I jump-start their cars in the winter.
Copy !req
800. They could call anybody to do that.
Copy !req
801. Sure, they can call anybody,
but they don't. They call you.
Copy !req
802. Eeny, meeny, miny...
Copy !req
803. Mayhem.
Copy !req
804. - You're not making any sense.
- Would you calm down?
Copy !req
805. You come from a great town
with great people and, by my count,
Copy !req
806. zero bad guys trying to kill you!
Copy !req
807. Besides,
Copy !req
808. what could possibly be more important
than protecting the people you care about?
Copy !req
809. Look, I get your poi...
Copy !req
810. Yeah!
Copy !req
811. You know what? I was wrong about you.
You're not the donut lord at all.
Copy !req
812. You're more like the jerk lord.
Copy !req
813. Have you noticed the harpoon
stuck in our dash?
Copy !req
814. Sonic!
Copy !req
815. I was forced from my home.
Copy !req
816. Your home is perfect,
and you're leaving it.
Copy !req
817. Why would you do that?
Copy !req
818. - Your body!
- Oh, no, not again!
Copy !req
819. Hey! Hold on!
Copy !req
820. - Why?
- Because I'm gonna do this.
Copy !req
821. Sonic!
Copy !req
822. Sonic!
Copy !req
823. Guess I had a bonus life.
Copy !req
824. Oh, yeah, baby!
Copy !req
825. Sonic, one. Big tank, zero. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
826. - Did we get that on camera?
- How are you not dead?
Copy !req
827. I have no idea.
Copy !req
828. - Do you see me dancing?
- Yes, I saw you dance.
Copy !req
829. Is that all you got?
Copy !req
830. No, but thank you for asking.
Copy !req
831. - Uh-oh.
- Sonic! Get back in the truck!
Copy !req
832. You go. I'll catch up.
Copy !req
833. I think that tank just had a baby.
Copy !req
834. Incoming!
Copy !req
835. - It's my turn!
- You just had one. It's mine!
Copy !req
836. Hey, stop fighting
or I'm taking that thing away!
Copy !req
837. Yeah, right, dad.
Copy !req
838. Where are you going?
Copy !req
839. Just drive the car.
I'll take care of this.
Copy !req
840. And if I don't make it, just ditch me.
Copy !req
841. You seem good at that.
Copy !req
842. Hey, everyone!
Welcome back to my livestream.
Copy !req
843. Today we're destroying robots. Step one.
Copy !req
844. Yes, we did it!
Copy !req
845. We did not do it. Who is this guy?
Copy !req
846. Ever wonder
where your tax dollars are going?
Copy !req
847. My turn.
Copy !req
848. Here, just keep us going straight.
I put it in cruise control.
Copy !req
849. I feel just like vin diesel.
Copy !req
850. "It's all about family, Tom."
Copy !req
851. Quick suggestion.
Copy !req
852. Roll up into a ball
and smash him with your body.
Copy !req
853. Where'd you learn how to drive?
Copy !req
854. Here. In this truck.
It's happening as we speak.
Copy !req
855. I can't reach it. Bring him in closer.
Copy !req
856. - What?
- Bring it in closer! Hit the brakes.
Copy !req
857. You mean this one?
Copy !req
858. The other brakes!
Copy !req
859. Give me a big, fat break!
Copy !req
860. This one is cute. Let's keep him.
Copy !req
861. Oh, come on!
Copy !req
862. How could something so adorable
be so terrible?
Copy !req
863. You've got car insurance, right?
Copy !req
864. Buzz off.
Copy !req
865. That doesn't sound good.
Copy !req
866. - No, beeping is bad. Get rid of it!
- I'm trying.
Copy !req
867. Throw it out the win... throw it anywhere!
Copy !req
868. - I can't get it off.
- All right, I'm pulling over.
Copy !req
869. - Did I get it?
- Nope.
Copy !req
870. Here. Hold still.
Copy !req
871. It's going, it's going...
Copy !req
872. It's still here.
Copy !req
873. Get off me.
Copy !req
874. Nailed it!
Copy !req
875. Sonic!
Copy !req
876. No, no.
Copy !req
877. Hey. Come on.
You're all right. Wake up. Wake up.
Copy !req
878. Did we get 'em?
Copy !req
879. No, there they are.
Copy !req
880. They are real survivors, those two.
Copy !req
881. Can we have a moment"?
Copy !req
882. Pin yourself to the wall.
Copy !req
883. You know,
I won't miss you when you're gone.
Copy !req
884. Human beings are unreliable and stupid,
and I care very little about them.
Copy !req
885. But my machines are diligent, relentless.
Copy !req
886. They're everything to me!
Copy !req
887. Come on, buddy.
Copy !req
888. You're gonna be all right.
You'll be all right.
Copy !req
889. - Is maddie here?
- No, no.
Copy !req
890. - Not today. Goodbye.
- It's an emergency!
Copy !req
891. - Bye-bye.
- Rachel, stop! Please! Maddie!
Copy !req
892. Don't do this. This is important.
Copy !req
893. - Oh, my god! Rachel, let him in.
- I am calling the police.
Copy !req
894. No, I am calling the FBI.
I am calling the CIA.
Copy !req
895. - Stop. Don't do that.
- I am calling your mother.
Copy !req
896. - Okay, got it.
- Maddie, can we talk?
Copy !req
897. Tom, what's going on?
Copy !req
898. You're all over the news.
I've been trying to call you.
Copy !req
899. I had to ditch my phone
so they couldn't track me.
Copy !req
900. - Ditch his phone?
- Track you?
Copy !req
901. - Uncle Tommy!
- Jojo! Hey!
Copy !req
902. Now your niece is an accessory to treason.
Copy !req
903. - No, she's not.
- Would you calm down?
Copy !req
904. Calm down? I will not calm down!
Copy !req
905. - Enough.
- Yes, calm down. Stop talking.
Copy !req
906. No. Ozzy, please. Good to see you too.
Copy !req
907. Little lord baby Jesus.
Copy !req
908. What is that, Tom?
Copy !req
909. Is that plutonium? Is it e-mails?
Copy !req
910. Yes, it's plutonium.
Copy !req
911. Can we please go in the other room
and talk... stop it, ozzy. Quit it!
Copy !req
912. This is why I told you he was no good.
Copy !req
913. - I'm not engaging.
- No, ozzy, quit it.
Copy !req
914. Ozzy, no! Ozzy, no!
Copy !req
915. Oh, catch me, jojo.
Copy !req
916. Thank god.
Copy !req
917. Can I get a glass of water?
Copy !req
918. I just thought you might like a latte
with steamed Austrian goat milk.
Copy !req
919. What do I look like, an imbecile?
Copy !req
920. Of course I want a latte.
I love the way you make them!
Copy !req
921. Ready the prototype.
Copy !req
922. With this kind of power,
Copy !req
923. my machines can finally reach
their full potential.
Copy !req
924. He's gonna be okay, jojo.
Copy !req
925. Oh, thank god. He's gonna be okay, right?
Copy !req
926. I'm a vet, Tom. I don't even know
what I'm looking at here.
Copy !req
927. He's a hedgehog. Or so he says.
Copy !req
928. - It talks?
- Almost constantly.
Copy !req
929. Okay.
Copy !req
930. Holy... what?
Copy !req
931. His pulse is super fast.
Copy !req
932. That actually might be normal for him.
Copy !req
933. I don't know. You gotta help him, maddie.
Copy !req
934. I don't know his physiology.
Copy !req
935. He doesn't seem to have any broken bones.
Copy !req
936. He's just really banged up.
Copy !req
937. Oh, look at his poor little feet.
Copy !req
938. Hang in there, buddy.
You're gonna be all right.
Copy !req
939. Jojo? Untie your mother. Jojo!
Copy !req
940. Untie mommy.
Copy !req
941. Sweetie. Jojo!
Copy !req
942. I have to go to the bathroom.
Copy !req
943. He's gonna be okay, right?
Copy !req
944. He'll snap out of this.
He'll wake up soon?
Copy !req
945. Oh, smelling salts!
Copy !req
946. Don't you have, like, vet smelling salts,
like, for cats or parakeets or something?
Copy !req
947. - No. They don't make cat smelling salts.
- They should.
Copy !req
948. I have human smelling salts
in my human first aid kit.
Copy !req
949. Okay.
Copy !req
950. - Here we go.
- Come on, buddy.
Copy !req
951. Gotta go fast!
Copy !req
952. Where am I? What year is it?
Is the rock president?
Copy !req
953. Whoa, buddy, you're okay. Calm down.
Copy !req
954. Hi, pretzel lady!
Copy !req
955. Hi.
Copy !req
956. Tom? Yeah.
Copy !req
957. Can I talk to you, please?
Copy !req
958. Space hedgehog, stay there. Try to rest.
Copy !req
959. You got it. I am great at resting.
Copy !req
960. I rest faster than anybody.
Copy !req
961. Still talking.
Copy !req
962. First of all, can we take a moment to
acknowledge how under control I've been?
Copy !req
963. - Amazing.
- Didn't freak out.
Copy !req
964. - No.
- Totally calm.
Copy !req
965. Thank you.
Copy !req
966. Second of all...
Copy !req
967. What the heck is going on?
Is that thing an alien?
Copy !req
968. Okay, so, remember how crazy Carl
is always going on about the blue devil?
Copy !req
969. The blue devil!
Copy !req
970. - That's him? He's real?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
971. What is he doing here?
What are you doing here?
Copy !req
972. I kinda, sorta, shot our
little blue friend with your trang gun.
Copy !req
973. - No, you did not.
- I didn't mean to.
Copy !req
974. Okay. This is kinda hard
for me to explain.
Copy !req
975. And it's gonna sound a little bit crazy.
Copy !req
976. He has to get to the Transamerica
building, and I promised I'd take him.
Copy !req
977. Uh-uh! Aliens?
Copy !req
978. Maddie, your husband's lost his mind.
Copy !req
979. Use this as an opportunity to leave him.
Copy !req
980. No one would judge you.
Copy !req
981. So you won't hurt your feet anymore.
Copy !req
982. - Really?
- Uh-huh.
Copy !req
983. No one's ever given me a gift before.
Copy !req
984. I gotta check that off my bucket list.
Copy !req
985. All right! Looking good!
Copy !req
986. Okay.
Copy !req
987. You said you wanted to help
people in real trouble, right?
Copy !req
988. Well, that's what you're doing.
Copy !req
989. Blue alien hedgehogs
still count as people. Right?
Copy !req
990. I think so too. Yeah.
Copy !req
991. - I think.
- Okay.
Copy !req
992. I love you. Did I tell you that already?
Copy !req
993. I don't deserve you. You know that?
Copy !req
994. I know that.
Copy !req
995. So, you're supposed to be Tom's
best friend that he won't shut up about.
Copy !req
996. Well, I don't see the appeal.
Copy !req
997. Stop!
Copy !req
998. That is very gross.
Copy !req
999. = Sean
Copy !req
1000. so, my truck still runs,
but it's pretty much totaled.
Copy !req
1001. You think your sister would mind
if we borrowed her car?
Copy !req
1002. You have got to be kidding me!
Copy !req
1003. - She'll be fine.
- Yeah, let's do that.
Copy !req
1004. Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
1005. This is my house!
Copy !req
1006. Coming through!
Copy !req
1007. Now this is my turn, and I go around him.
Copy !req
1008. Sorry! And, perfect park.
Copy !req
1009. - What are you, crazy?
- Is there anything you didn't hit?
Copy !req
1010. Why did we let the alien drive?
Copy !req
1011. Hey, I got us here.
And please, five stars.
Copy !req
1012. - So, this is it?
- That's it. That's your pyramid.
Copy !req
1013. Wow, look at that thing!
Copy !req
1014. What happens now?
Copy !req
1015. - He's... gone.
- Yep.
Copy !req
1016. No good. You need a special key
to get to the roof.
Copy !req
1017. What now?
Copy !req
1018. Time for me to abuse
the power entrusted to me.
Copy !req
1019. We got a jumper on the roof.
Copy !req
1020. Gotta get up there fast or we're gonna
have a human pancake on our hands.
Copy !req
1021. You came all the way from Montana.
Copy !req
1022. Yeah. That's how serious it is.
Copy !req
1023. Okay.
Copy !req
1024. You just saved a life.
Copy !req
1025. How much longer? I can't breathe in here.
Copy !req
1026. Hello? Anybody there?
Copy !req
1027. - Do you have your child in that bag?
- No.
Copy !req
1028. I mean, yes, it's a child,
but it's not mine.
Copy !req
1029. It's not your child.
Copy !req
1030. Relax. I'm a cop, okay?
Copy !req
1031. Plus, he likes it in there,
don't you, buddy?
Copy !req
1032. Why would I like it in here?
Copy !req
1033. This is worse than the dog cage
you had me in earlier.
Copy !req
1034. Such a kidder.
Copy !req
1035. - Okay.
- No, I'm scared of the dark!
Copy !req
1036. Is anybody there?
Copy !req
1037. What were you keeping in this bag?
Copy !req
1038. A jar of pickled farts?
Copy !req
1039. All right. What are we looking for?
Copy !req
1040. This.
Copy !req
1041. Okay. What happens now?
Copy !req
1042. Now all I have to do is think of where I
want the other end of the ring to appear,
Copy !req
1043. and I throw it.
Copy !req
1044. So, that's it? We did it?
Copy !req
1045. Yeah. We did it!
Copy !req
1046. Hey. Sorry we didn't get to do
everything on your bucket list, pal.
Copy !req
1047. It's okay.
I did the ones I needed the most.
Copy !req
1048. You two are so cute.
Copy !req
1049. - Oh, please. What?
- We are not.
Copy !req
1050. No. We're not cute.
Copy !req
1051. We are a couple of loose cannons
just living by our own rules.
Copy !req
1052. Exactly.
Copy !req
1053. Really? Yeah.
Copy !req
1054. And our rules include
expressing heartfelt emotions.
Copy !req
1055. If you say so.
Copy !req
1056. - Okay, then.
- All right.
Copy !req
1057. - You gotta go, right?
- Yeah, I gotta go.
Copy !req
1058. I gotta go. We gotta go too.
Copy !req
1059. See... all right, bye-bye.
Copy !req
1060. Just one more thing.
Copy !req
1061. I'm sorry I was so hard on you.
Copy !req
1062. I know it's a tough decision
for you to leave green hills.
Copy !req
1063. Walking away from something
you care about has to be painful.
Copy !req
1064. You're not sure
you really want to go, huh?
Copy !req
1065. I don't want to go, but I can't stay.
Copy !req
1066. As long as I'm here,
I put everyone in danger.
Copy !req
1067. I can't do that.
Copy !req
1068. I just want you to know
that these last two days have been
Copy !req
1069. the best two days of my life.
Copy !req
1070. You know, I never thought I'd say this,
Copy !req
1071. but I'm actually gonna miss you,
you little blue devil.
Copy !req
1072. I'll miss you too, donut lord.
Copy !req
1073. Thank you.
Copy !req
1074. For what?
Copy !req
1075. For saving my life.
Copy !req
1076. Okay. Did someone leave
their "find my phone" on?
Copy !req
1077. Welcome to San Francisco, Mr. Wachowski.
Copy !req
1078. Are you enjoying the clam chowder?
Copy !req
1079. It's the government wack job
who keeps trying to kill us.
Copy !req
1080. Unsuccessfully!
Copy !req
1081. Nice of you to swing by
on your way to comic-con.
Copy !req
1082. Yeah, what are you wearing?
Copy !req
1083. It's a flight suit, designed to modulate
my body temperature and reduce drag.
Copy !req
1084. Yeah, and yet you still are one.
Copy !req
1085. Good one.
Copy !req
1086. You are catching fire, Thomas.
Copy !req
1087. And speaking of heat,
I see you've taken a lover.
Copy !req
1088. Does she have a name, or should we
just call her "collateral damage"?
Copy !req
1089. Hey, watch your mouth.
Copy !req
1090. Unless you want a little more
of what I gave you earlier.
Copy !req
1091. I punched him in the face.
Copy !req
1092. He punched him right in the face!
It was awesome!
Copy !req
1093. The time for talking is over!
It's time to push buttons.
Copy !req
1094. Your flying eggs are pretty impressive,
Mr. Eggman,
Copy !req
1095. but let's face it, you'll never catch me.
Copy !req
1096. Confidence!
Copy !req
1097. A fool's substitute for intelligence.
Copy !req
1098. That's not good.
Copy !req
1099. Sonic, I know you got the super speed
and everything, but maddie and I...
Copy !req
1100. Totally defenseless?
Probably gonna get blown up?
Copy !req
1101. Pretty much, yeah.
Copy !req
1102. Don't worry. I know exactly what to do.
Copy !req
1103. I was not expecting that.
Copy !req
1104. But I was expecting not to expect
something, so it doesn't count.
Copy !req
1105. Come on!
Copy !req
1106. Come on, come on, come on.
Copy !req
1107. No, no, no!
Copy !req
1108. Hi, Tom.
Copy !req
1109. Glad you're here. Could use some help.
Copy !req
1110. Old bessie's about to give birth.
Copy !req
1111. Give me a minute.
Copy !req
1112. Can I give you one genius piece of advice?
Copy !req
1113. Don't run.
Copy !req
1114. It'll only hurt more if you do.
Copy !req
1115. And it's bad for your joints.
They've proved it.
Copy !req
1116. All right, eggman. You wanna get fast?
Copy !req
1117. Let's get fast.
Copy !req
1118. The hard way it is.
Copy !req
1119. That was an illegal left, by the way.
Copy !req
1120. So, here we are again.
Copy !req
1121. We've been through so much together.
Copy !req
1122. Now you understand
why there's a psychotic robot doctor
Copy !req
1123. chasing a supersonic blue hedgehog.
Copy !req
1124. Want to know how it ends? Yeah, me too.
Copy !req
1125. How is this possible?
Copy !req
1126. No one's ever caught up to me before.
Copy !req
1127. Coming through!
Copy !req
1128. Sacrebleu/
Copy !req
1129. excusez-moi, monsieur!
Copy !req
1130. Here we go. Room to open it up.
Copy !req
1131. I can't lose him!
Copy !req
1132. If you can't beat 'em, blind 'em.
Copy !req
1133. Lost visual contact.
Copy !req
1134. You're not allowed up there!
It's one of the seven wonders!
Copy !req
1135. You're an astonishing little creature.
Copy !req
1136. It'll be fun to take you back to the lab
Copy !req
1137. for a litany of invasive
exploratory procedures.
Copy !req
1138. Any last words?
Copy !req
1139. Guac. I like that word.
Copy !req
1140. I don't have to tell you
how many scientific breakthroughs
Copy !req
1141. have been made possible by animal testing.
Copy !req
1142. You're being very selfish.
Copy !req
1143. Going my way?
Copy !req
1144. What the...
Copy !req
1145. Who the hell do you think you are?
Copy !req
1146. I'm the donut lord, you son of a...
Copy !req
1147. Autopilot, adjust.
Copy !req
1148. Why?
Copy !req
1149. Why would you throw
your life away for this thing?
Copy !req
1150. That's why I don't have friends.
Copy !req
1151. Next thing you know,
you're somebody's best man.
Copy !req
1152. They want to have the wedding out of town.
Like nobody has anything better to do!
Copy !req
1153. Anyway, where were we?
Copy !req
1154. Oh, yes. You were about to die.
Copy !req
1155. That's our sheriff you're messing with.
Copy !req
1156. And our blue devil, who,
as everyone can see,
Copy !req
1157. is a very real creature
and not at all invented by me.
Copy !req
1158. - Careful.
- Just... just put it away.
Copy !req
1159. Tom?
Copy !req
1160. I don't mean to be indelicate here,
Copy !req
1161. but someone should get some ice,
keep the body fresh.
Copy !req
1162. He's just a silly little alien.
Copy !req
1163. He didn't belong here!
Copy !req
1164. That little alien...
Copy !req
1165. Knew more about being human
than you ever will.
Copy !req
1166. His name was Sonic.
Copy !req
1167. This was his home.
Copy !req
1168. And he was my friend.
Copy !req
1169. He's all yours.
Copy !req
1170. Everyone get back!
Copy !req
1171. I think you have something
that belongs to me.
Copy !req
1172. This is my power.
Copy !req
1173. And I'm not using it to run away anymore.
Copy !req
1174. I'm using it to protect my friends.
Copy !req
1175. Now you've done it!
Copy !req
1176. Guess what, eggman?
Copy !req
1177. I'm not leaving earth. You are.
Copy !req
1178. Donut lord?
Copy !req
1179. - I told you, you got this.
- Hey, we got this.
Copy !req
1180. - I think these belong to you.
- Thank you very much.
Copy !req
1181. - No more pushing people off of buildings.
- You know I can't promise that.
Copy !req
1182. - You did pretty good, space 'hog.
- Thanks, donut lord.
Copy !req
1183. You're gonna have to explain
this "donut lord" thing.
Copy !req
1184. Nope, sorry.
That's for me and the little guy. Right?
Copy !req
1185. We got our thing,
you got your thing with your... sister.
Copy !req
1186. Oh, my god, my sister.
Copy !req
1187. Gotta go fast. Gotta go fast.
Gotta go fast. Gotta go fast.
Copy !req
1188. Jojo, put on my fitbit...
Copy !req
1189. So I can at least get some steps.
Copy !req
1190. We can never go back there.
Copy !req
1191. I mean, are we"?
Copy !req
1192. 'Cause it kind of feels like
we're home right now.
Copy !req
1193. Really?
Copy !req
1194. I kind of feel like I checked
the "save a life" box off my bucket list.
Copy !req
1195. Now all I want to do is spend my life
with the people I care about.
Copy !req
1196. I want to check that box.
Copy !req
1197. Okay, I like that.
Copy !req
1198. All right, everybody. Nothing to see here.
Copy !req
1199. Let's disperse.
Copy !req
1200. Just another ordinary day in green hills.
Copy !req
1201. Carl, I'll take that chain saw.
Copy !req
1202. Come on. Let's go!
Copy !req
1203. You act like you've never seen a fight
Copy !req
1204. between an intergalactic space rodent
and a robot with a doctorate.
Copy !req
1205. You got enough there?
Copy !req
1206. - Yes, Mr. Manager.
- Need any more?
Copy !req
1207. You get that away.
Copy !req
1208. Mr. And Mrs. Wachowski?
Copy !req
1209. Yes?
Copy !req
1210. A token of appreciation
from your government
Copy !req
1211. for keeping quiet about recent incidents
which never occurred.
Copy !req
1212. Wow!
Copy !req
1213. - Wonder what it is.
- Money to fix the house?
Copy !req
1214. Letter from the president?
You'll see.
Copy !req
1215. Okay.
Copy !req
1216. Olive garden. Yeah.
Copy !req
1217. The way you said "you'll see"
made me think
Copy !req
1218. it was something better
than the things we said.
Copy !req
1219. Have you tried their
never ending pasta bowl?
Copy !req
1220. It never ends.
Copy !req
1221. - That sounds... fancy.
- Mm-hmm.
Copy !req
1222. Well, thank you.
We appreciate the gesture.
Copy !req
1223. Hey. I guess we can close the file
on that robotnik guy, huh?
Copy !req
1224. Just disappeared.
Copy !req
1225. I'm sorry, but no such person exists
or ever has existed.
Copy !req
1226. I wish that were true.
Copy !req
1227. You haven't by any chance been in contact
with a certain alien creature
Copy !req
1228. since the incident, have you?
Copy !req
1229. Uncle Sam would love to have a chat
with him. Very casual. Brunch, perhaps.
Copy !req
1230. You mean the little blue guy. No.
Copy !req
1231. - No, nothing. No.
- Mm-mmm.
Copy !req
1232. - Doubt we'll ever hear from him again.
- Mm-mmm.
Copy !req
1233. Very well.
Copy !req
1234. Okay.
Copy !req
1235. - Thank you.
- Great.
Copy !req
1236. Yep.
Copy !req
1237. To be honest,
I'm pretty pumped about the pasta bowl.
Copy !req
1238. So, do you guys wanna
watch a movie or what?
Copy !req
1239. Sorry, buddy. It's a school night.
It's time for you to go back to your cave.
Copy !req
1240. What? It's 3:00 in the afternoon!
Copy !req
1241. You know how you get when you're tired.
Copy !req
1242. Me" I'm not like anything.
Copy !req
1243. - You guys are so uncool.
- Yeah, yeah, we know.
Copy !req
1244. - Hey, buddy, where you going?
- You said I have to go back to my cave.
Copy !req
1245. We did.
Copy !req
1246. Oh, my... are you kidding me?
Copy !req
1247. I can't believe it.
Copy !req
1248. How did you...
Copy !req
1249. It's... it's all here.
Copy !req
1250. Look at this! Are you kidding?
And the beanbag?
Copy !req
1251. No way! How did you even get this?
Copy !req
1252. And you got it all the way over...
Copy !req
1253. I love it, I love it!
Copy !req
1254. Well, welcome home.
Copy !req
1255. Thank you, so much.
Copy !req
1256. Oh, no, you don't.
Copy !req
1257. No second-best animal friends
allowed in my room.
Copy !req
1258. Wait. What are you doing?
Copy !req
1259. Stay away from me. Stop it!
Copy !req
1260. I'm warning you. I've got nunchucks!
Copy !req
1261. Hey, stop. Okay, you can stay.
Copy !req
1262. My grasp on sanity remains... absolute.
Copy !req
1263. Isn't that right, agent stone?
Copy !req
1264. Why don't you get a head start?
Copy !req
1265. Do some rock-connaissance.
Copy !req
1266. Rock-connaissance!
Come on! That's hilarious!
Copy !req
1267. What's the matter with you?
Copy !req
1268. Here's the "sitch." Uninhabited planet.
Copy !req
1269. No resources. No supplies.
No apparent way home.
Copy !req
1270. A lesser man would die here.
Copy !req
1271. I'll be home by Christmas.
Copy !req
1272. Rock-connaissance!
Copy !req
1273. Come on! Cheer up!
Copy !req
1274. If these readings are accurate, he's here.
Copy !req
1275. I found him.
Copy !req
1276. I just hope I'm not too late.
Copy !req