1. (Roscoe Lee Browne)
This is the storyCopy !req
2. of how a person got from point ACopy !req
3. to point Z.Copy !req
4. Some call it fate,
others, chance.Copy !req
5. But whatever you call it,Copy !req
6. it sure is an interesting
thing to ponder, don't you think?Copy !req
7. The twisted paths
our lives follow.Copy !req
8. How did you get here?Copy !req
9. The place where you are
right now at this very moment.Copy !req
10. What series of events
Brought you to this place?Copy !req
11. At this specific point in time?Copy !req
12. Where are you in life?Copy !req
13. Are things turning out
the way you'd planned?Copy !req
14. And By the way,
when was the last timeCopy !req
15. you spoke with your parents?Copy !req
16. Don't you think
you ought to give
them a call?Copy !req
17. To thank them
for the set of circumstancesCopy !req
18. that Brought them together,Copy !req
19. at a certain place,Copy !req
20. at a certain moment in time,Copy !req
21. when you were created.Copy !req
22. U hh,Copy !req
23. what were we talking about?Copy !req
24. How you got here.Copy !req
25. Yeah.Copy !req
26. Jesus Christ, I can't believeCopy !req
27. I'm still so...Copy !req
28. uh,Copy !req
29. Stoned?Copy !req
30. Yeah!Copy !req
31. A glass of orange juice
sure would hit the spot
aBout now, wouldn't it?Copy !req
32. And some Tostitos.Copy !req
33. That's it!
Oh, man!Copy !req
34. That's exactly
what I'm thinking!Copy !req
35. OJ and Tostitos!
Jesus!Copy !req
36. It's like you're
reading my thoughts or something!Copy !req
37. I am.Copy !req
38. Whoa.Copy !req
39. So go on.Copy !req
40. What am I thinking about now?Copy !req
41. Well, there are many
thoughts racing through
your head.Copy !req
42. The first concerns
the orange juice and Tostitos.Copy !req
43. Yeah.Copy !req
44. And the second,Copy !req
45. the second thought,
oh, how it vexes you.Copy !req
46. Uh-huh.
What is it?Copy !req
47. It is this.Copy !req
48. Why are you having a conversation
with Roscoe Lee Browne?Copy !req
49. Ha!
Roscoe Lee?Copy !req
50. Holy shit!
You're famous!Copy !req
51. Yes, I am.Copy !req
52. I can't fucking
believe I'm having a conversationCopy !req
53. with Roscoe Lee Browne!Copy !req
54. Okay. Ready
for numBer three?Copy !req
55. You bet I am, Roscoe.Copy !req
56. Your third thought
is simply this. ;Copy !req
57. How in the hellCopy !req
58. did I end up on a ferris wheel?Copy !req
59. How did you know that?Copy !req
60. Because, you fucking pothead,Copy !req
61. you're talking to yourself.Copy !req
62. Shit. How the hell
did I get here?Copy !req
63. [Jane, stoned]
I guess mayBe it wasCopy !req
64. a little early in the morning to
Be getting stoned.Copy !req
65. But whatever, you know.Copy !req
66. It's not like I just sit aroundCopy !req
67. collecting checks
from my parents or something.Copy !req
68. I did that regional
soda ad a while Back,Copy !req
69. Doctor Bjorn's Famous
Old-Fashioned Root Beer.Copy !req
70. MayBe you saw
it? Anyhow, Between thatCopy !req
71. and unemployment I
get By. Bla-Bla-Bla.Copy !req
72. All I know is this game isCopy !req
73. so fucking cool
when you're high.Copy !req
74. They say a true pothead
stops getting the munchiesCopy !req
75. after a certain point.
I mean, a true potheadCopy !req
76. wouldn't even say
the word "munchies." I don't knowCopy !req
77. what the true pothead would say,Copy !req
78. "Munchos" or "hungries"
or something.Copy !req
79. At any rate, I still
love to eat when I'm high.Copy !req
80. So fuck you if you're too coolCopy !req
81. to get hungry
when you're stoned.Copy !req
82. My free one year supply
of Doctor Bjorn's. Neat, huh?Copy !req
83. I n the six months
I've lived with my roommate, Steve,Copy !req
84. I've never seen him get high.Copy !req
85. Not once.Copy !req
86. He even kind of looks down
on me for doing it.Copy !req
87. God, you are so pathetic.Copy !req
88. Huh?Copy !req
89. Here's the deal with Steve.Copy !req
90. He scares me.Copy !req
91. Oh, hi, Steve.Copy !req
92. See what I mean?Copy !req
93. Steve's one of those
"Dress in costumeCopy !req
94. and wait in line
for Star Wars" types,Copy !req
95. But angry.Copy !req
96. Real anti-social.Copy !req
97. I've always tried
to stay on Steve's good side,Copy !req
98. who knows what can
happen with a weirdo like that?Copy !req
99. Mm!
Mm!Copy !req
100. I know he made
that sign telling me not to,Copy !req
101. But I had a counterplan.
A really good counterplan.Copy !req
102. I would Bake
Steve some more cupcakes.Copy !req
103. Some even Better cupcakes.Copy !req
104. And then,Copy !req
105. I recognized the true natureCopy !req
106. of the cupcakes I had consumed.Copy !req
107. Oh, shit.Copy !req
108. Oh, fuck.Copy !req
109. Listen, Jane.
I really busted my assCopy !req
110. getting you this
audition so please, please, pleaseCopy !req
111. don't fuck it up.
It seems like you don't even giveCopy !req
112. a shit about any of this.Copy !req
113. Do you?
Do you even give a shit?Copy !req
114. I give a shit.Copy !req
115. Plan... need a plan.Copy !req
116. My plan.Copy !req
117. NumBer one.
Buy more pot.Copy !req
118. You know, so I can make more
cupcakes for Steve.Copy !req
119. NumBer two. ; use
the money Steve leftCopy !req
120. for the power Bill to
purchase said pot.Copy !req
121. That way I
can Bake some fresh cupcakesCopy !req
122. Before he gets Back.Copy !req
123. Then I'll go to my audition.Copy !req
124. I mean, numBer three. ;
go to my audition.Copy !req
125. I've never Been to an audition
this stoned Before.Copy !req
126. But I'd Be willing to wager
that I'd Be damned goodCopy !req
127. Because I'll Be even
more in touch with my creative selfCopy !req
128. That's not really
a part of the plan. Scratch that.Copy !req
129. Four. ; hit the cash machine,
zip on over to pay that power Bill,Copy !req
130. pick up cupcake
supplies at the storeCopy !req
131. and head on Back
to home Base to Bake 'em up.Copy !req
132. Not bad... for a person
who happens to be quite stoned.Copy !req
133. You're baked.Copy !req
134. No.Copy !req
135. What makes you think that?Copy !req
136. J ust, you know, the usual.Copy !req
137. Actually, you
better make it a full ounce.Copy !req
138. I'm gonna
be making some cupcakes.Copy !req
139. You got it.Copy !req
140. (dealer)
What's going on over there?Copy !req
141. Who's there?
Is someone in my apartment?Copy !req
142. Man, you really are stoned.Copy !req
143. NumBer one. ;
Buy more pot.Copy !req
144. You're like 40 short.Copy !req
145. Can I just...Copy !req
146. you know...Copy !req
147. Goddamn it, Jane,
this is the last time.Copy !req
148. You have to pay me back today.Copy !req
149. No problem-o.Copy !req
150. I'm marking it down...
in the book.Copy !req
151. I just gotta hit
the cash machine, my man.Copy !req
152. (dealer)
It's all aBout capitalismCopy !req
153. and shit like that, you know?Copy !req
154. Who creates the joBs?
Where do they come from?Copy !req
155. The profits I make, for example,Copy !req
156. trickle down through the economy
in ways I can't even comprehend.Copy !req
157. It makes sense.
I'm totally vibing you, dude.Copy !req
158. Yeah, simple Reaganomics
apply to the production of hemp.Copy !req
159. Well, I don't think that really
qualifies as Reaganomics, but...Copy !req
160. What are you talking about?Copy !req
161. Just because weed isn't taxedCopy !req
162. doesn't mean it exists in
some sort of,Copy !req
163. you know, laissez faire paradigm
or whatever.Copy !req
164. Did you just use "paradigm"
in a sentence?Copy !req
165. Yeah, man.Copy !req
166. I mean, what you do
is great and all,Copy !req
167. God bless you
for it, but it soundsCopy !req
168. like plain old market
capitalism to me.Copy !req
169. It's Reaganomics.
Trust me.Copy !req
170. What about it is Reaganomics?
The black market isn't taxed.Copy !req
171. Listen, Jane,
you're fucking stonedCopy !req
172. and I happen to be very knowledgeable
about this.Copy !req
173. Whoopee! You own a UV lamp.
Let's start the revolution!Copy !req
174. What the fuck do you know about
economics anyway?Copy !req
175. Well... I majored in economics
in collegeCopy !req
176. and graduated fucking Summa.Copy !req
177. I think I know a thing or two
about it.Copy !req
178. I thought you were an actress.Copy !req
179. Economics didn't
really work out.Copy !req
180. This is where I'll be.Copy !req
181. Meet me there with the money at
three o'clock.Copy !req
182. Yeah.
Okay.Copy !req
183. (Jane)
What is this?Copy !req
184. I've never even heard of half of
these movies.Copy !req
185. (Jane)
Oh.Copy !req
186. Actually, my
roommate's hosting thisCopy !req
187. science fiction nerd convention
this weekendCopy !req
188. with his buddies flying in from
Toledo and...Copy !req
189. Hey!Copy !req
190. Three o'clock!
Meet me in VeniceCopy !req
191. with the money at three.Copy !req
192. Do not make me send
my associates over hereCopy !req
193. to collect the hard way.Copy !req
194. You mean, like kill me?Copy !req
195. No, Jesus.
Of course not.Copy !req
196. So you'll probably just break my
arms, then?Copy !req
197. Break your arms? Janey, what
the fuck?Copy !req
198. I'm a dude who sells weed,Copy !req
199. I'm not Tony fucking Soprano.Copy !req
200. Well, what then?Copy !req
201. I don't know.Copy !req
202. Take your furniture,
or something.Copy !req
203. H mm.Copy !req
204. So, Jane,Copy !req
205. what's the deal
with your roommate?Copy !req
206. Steve?Copy !req
207. What about him?Copy !req
208. He gives me the creeps.Copy !req
209. I think he might be one of those
skull fuckers.Copy !req
210. Know what I'm saying?Copy !req
211. I bet that dude fucks skulls,Copy !req
212. with candles and shit.Copy !req
213. Oh my God!
You're right!Copy !req
214. He's a fucking freak.Copy !req
215. So, listen.Copy !req
216. It would be a shame if you didn't pay
me back today,Copy !req
217. and in addition to taking
your furniture,Copy !req
218. I had to tell your roommateCopy !req
219. how you spent the cash for
the power bill.Copy !req
220. Hello?Copy !req
221. (Kyle)
Jane?Copy !req
222. Hey!Copy !req
223. Is this...?Copy !req
224. Who is this?Copy !req
225. It's Kyle.Copy !req
226. Oh, hey, baby, what's up?Copy !req
227. You asked me to call youCopy !req
228. to remind you to go
to that audition?Copy !req
229. Are you stoned?Copy !req
230. Stoned?Copy !req
231. It's fucking 10.;45
in the morning.Copy !req
232. Know what, Jane?
This isn't really working out.Copy !req
233. I-I don't understand.
You're speaking in riddles.Copy !req
234. Kyle, you need to
listen very carefullyCopy !req
235. to what I'm saying and stop trying to
confuse the issue.Copy !req
236. What? Wait, Kyle!
I can't hear you!Copy !req
237. Kyle! Hold on!
I just have to... Shut up!Copy !req
238. Oh, shit.Copy !req
239. Kyle? You still there?Copy !req
240. Now what am I gonna do?Copy !req
241. I can't.Copy !req
242. I daren't.Copy !req
243. I really shouldn't.Copy !req
244. The government weed.Copy !req
245. I was saving the government
weed for a special occasion,Copy !req
246. But the government weed will fetch
a fair price on the open market.Copy !req
247. A very fair price.Copy !req
248. MayBe just enough
to Bail me out of this jam.Copy !req
249. NumBer three. ;
Go to my audition.Copy !req
250. Whoa.Copy !req
251. That was intense.Copy !req
252. Getting on?Copy !req
253. I've never ridden
a bus in L.A. Before.Copy !req
254. This is gonna be fun.Copy !req
255. Yeah, you're in
for a real treat.Copy !req
256. Hey I You squashed BoBBy's car.Copy !req
257. He spent weeks putting
that together.Copy !req
258. Hey, right on.
Look what you've done.Copy !req
259. (woman)
I saw her. She justCopy !req
260. fell right over.
She didn't even try to stay up.Copy !req
261. Hey! One
thirty-five!Copy !req
262. Okay.
Hold on.Copy !req
263. Get up.Copy !req
264. I'm trying.Copy !req
265. There's something
wrong with her.Copy !req
266. There's nothing
wrong with me, lady.Copy !req
267. What was it doing on the
floor anyway?Copy !req
268. It wasn't on the floor,
fucking pothead.Copy !req
269. You knocked it out of his hands.Copy !req
270. I saw it.Copy !req
271. I'm sorry.Copy !req
272. That's not gonna bring his car back.Copy !req
273. I think she's on drugs.Copy !req
274. He built that for
his grandfather,Copy !req
275. in the hospital.Copy !req
276. Hey, lady!
One thirty five!Copy !req
277. I'm getting it!Copy !req
278. Hey!Copy !req
279. Hey!Copy !req
280. That was a close one.Copy !req
281. (Jane)
"Come on, Frank.Copy !req
282. "You know I love surprises.Copy !req
283. That's a fact. I'm always willing
to make exceptions."Copy !req
284. What a piece of shit.Copy !req
285. "Come on, Frank.Copy !req
286. "You know I love surprises.Copy !req
287. That's a fact. I'm always willing
to make exceptions?"Copy !req
288. "I'm always willing
to make exceptions!"Copy !req
289. (shouts)
"I'm always willing
to make exceptions!Copy !req
290. (shouts)
"I'm always willing
to make exceptions!"Copy !req
291. (Jane)
Four. Hit the cash machine.Copy !req
292. Wha...? I had over a thousand dollars
in this account!Copy !req
293. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
294. Oh, no!Copy !req
295. (distorted)
Take your furniture or something like that.Copy !req
296. No! Not my bed!
Not my Sleep Number bed!Copy !req
297. (security guard)
Hey ICopy !req
298. You forgot to sign in.Copy !req
299. "Come on, Frank. You know I
love surprises."Copy !req
300. Have a seat.Copy !req
301. Hi.Copy !req
302. Do you have any gum?Copy !req
303. Uhm,Copy !req
304. I, uh,Copy !req
305. wait.Copy !req
306. Holy shit! Where'd this come from?Copy !req
307. Do you want some?Copy !req
308. No, thank you!
No, no, no.Copy !req
309. Seriously. I could really use the cash.Copy !req
310. No, I don't.Copy !req
311. 200 bucks.Copy !req
312. No, I don't want any.
No. I don't want it.Copy !req
313. I'm really
stoned. Sorry.Copy !req
314. (male voice, echoing)
Janel JanelCopy !req
315. Yeah!
Yes, here!Copy !req
316. Are you ready?Copy !req
317. You betcha!Copy !req
318. Hello.Copy !req
319. Hi! I'm Jane.
It's nice to meet you.Copy !req
320. I, um, heard a lot about you.Copy !req
321. Excuse me?Copy !req
322. Nothing.Copy !req
323. Whee!Copy !req
324. Are you alright?Copy !req
325. I'm fantastic!
How are you?Copy !req
326. I'm fine.Copy !req
327. Great!Copy !req
328. Hang on a second.Copy !req
329. What?Copy !req
330. Huh?Copy !req
331. Did you just say something?Copy !req
332. Who, me?Copy !req
333. Yes.Copy !req
334. I'm sorry. I didn't realize
I had spoken.Copy !req
335. Are you ready?Copy !req
336. I sure am.Copy !req
337. Are you ready?Copy !req
338. I sure am.Copy !req
339. Okay.Copy !req
340. (yelling)
"Come on, Frank!Copy !req
341. You know
I love surprises!"Copy !req
342. I'm gonna stop you right there.Copy !req
343. I want you to do it again,
but this time,Copy !req
344. pull it way back.Copy !req
345. Okay. Sure.
Sure. You got it.Copy !req
346. (robotic voice)
"Come on, Frank. You
know I love surprises."Copy !req
347. What are you doing?Copy !req
348. I'm pulling it back.Copy !req
349. Not that much. Can't you find
some middle ground?Copy !req
350. You better believe
I can find a middle ground!Copy !req
351. Middle ground is my middle name!Copy !req
352. Thank you.Copy !req
353. So how'd I do?Copy !req
354. You did some very interesting work.Copy !req
355. Really?
Yes!Copy !req
356. Well, thanks.
You have a wonderful day.Copy !req
357. Hey, let me ask you something.Copy !req
358. Do you want to buy some pot?Copy !req
359. Are you trying to sell me drugs?Copy !req
360. Well...Copy !req
361. Young lady, have a seat outside!Copy !req
362. Gee, you don't have to yell.Copy !req
363. Sit!Copy !req
364. Here?Copy !req
365. In the waiting area!Copy !req
366. BoB I Get in herelCopy !req
367. Tried to sell me marijuana.Copy !req
368. Hey! Guys, I
was just kidding.Copy !req
369. She tried to sell you what?Copy !req
370. I'm taking a shit!Copy !req
371. Hold on!
I'm shitting!Copy !req
372. I'm just taking a shit!Copy !req
373. Still shitting!
Nothing to worry about.Copy !req
374. I'm just taking a big old dump.Copy !req
375. That's it.
All done.
I'm finished.Copy !req
376. You got nothing on me!
Nada! Zilcho!Copy !req
377. Go ahead and frisk me!
Give it your best shot!Copy !req
378. Hello there, Smiley.Copy !req
379. (male voice)
H I, Jane.Copy !req
380. (dealer)
Meet me in Venice at three.Copy !req
381. You better get going.Copy !req
382. I'm way ahead of
you, Smiley. Way ahead of you.Copy !req
383. Shelly!Copy !req
384. (recording)
This is Shelly.Copy !req
385. Please leave a message.Copy !req
386. (Jane)
Hey, Shelly I Guess wholCopy !req
387. So, listen. I'm
looking for a rideCopy !req
388. out to Venice for this Hemp
Festival thing.Copy !req
389. And it sounds cool, right?Copy !req
390. Anyway, I thought
you might dig it.Copy !req
391. But I guess you're not there.Copy !req
392. U m,Copy !req
393. Jesus, Shelly, I'm so fucking stoned
you wouldn't believe it!Copy !req
394. Call me.Copy !req
395. (Angela, recorded)
Hi, please leave a messageCopy !req
396. for me or Tony
after the Beep.Copy !req
397. U h,Copy !req
398. who is this again?Copy !req
399. (M uriel)
Hello?Copy !req
400. Mrs. Green?Copy !req
401. Yes.Copy !req
402. It's Jane!Copy !req
403. Who?Copy !req
404. Jane! I studied
clarinet with you!Copy !req
405. It doesn't really ring a...
Hmm, I, I don't...Copy !req
406. Brevin Ericson.Copy !req
407. Oh, boy.Copy !req
408. (Roscoe)
Shall we say a few words
aBout Brevin Ericson?Copy !req
409. Shall we say a few words about love?Copy !req
410. For Brevin Ericson
is completely,Copy !req
411. 100% head over heels in love.Copy !req
412. Perhaps it's difficult
for you to comprehendCopy !req
413. how anyBody could Be
so passionately inclined towardCopy !req
414. someone like this.Copy !req
415. But do not judge
her too harshly.Copy !req
416. After all, how was she to know they
were pot cupcakes?Copy !req
417. And ask yourselves,
who amongst youCopy !req
418. might not have done the same?Copy !req
419. Who are we to judge heartBeats in a
young man's heart?Copy !req
420. (Steve)
Do you want Lightning Strikes Thrice?Copy !req
421. (Brevin)
Yeah.Copy !req
422. Do you want Secret Secret Agents?Copy !req
423. I already have...Copy !req
424. Exactly.Copy !req
425. Dude, your roommate
is kind of hot.Copy !req
426. You're kidding, right?Copy !req
427. You're so good.Copy !req
428. NolCopy !req
429. Oh, Brevin ICopy !req
430. You're Beating me.Copy !req
431. Damn it ICopy !req
432. Oh, Brevin, right in there.Copy !req
433. Oh ICopy !req
434. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
435. But...Copy !req
436. I thought you had a boyfriend.Copy !req
437. We're kinda taking a break right now.Copy !req
438. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
439. What's that got
to do with anything?Copy !req
440. I'm talking about something bigger
than our petty yearnings.Copy !req
441. Of course.Copy !req
442. So are we doing this or what?Copy !req
443. Well...Copy !req
444. Come on, man. It's going to be
fucking transformative.Copy !req
445. It sounds great.
I just...Copy !req
446. What?Copy !req
447. I, uh...Copy !req
448. So, you are sure you want to come to
the dentist with me?Copy !req
449. Absolutely, man.
Absolutely.Copy !req
450. Let me just drop you off at a coffee
shop or something.Copy !req
451. No, not necessary, my good man.Copy !req
452. I'm really looking
forward to it.Copy !req
453. So last week they worked on
my left side.Copy !req
454. Today they're gonna
finish on my right.Copy !req
455. And I tell you, Jane, they really get
in there deep with the scraping.Copy !req
456. A deep scraping?Copy !req
457. Yeah.Copy !req
458. That sounds fucking awesome.Copy !req
459. Maybe I should get one.Copy !req
460. I think you need an appointment.Copy !req
461. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
462. An appointment.Copy !req
463. Yep, that's pretty
funny I guess.Copy !req
464. I don't even know
what I'm laughing at.Copy !req
465. So, how much do you think you'd need?Copy !req
466. I don't know.
Like five...Copy !req
467. Dollars?Copy !req
468. Yeah, I need to borrow $5.Copy !req
469. Well, what then?
Like $500?Copy !req
470. Yeah, that should do it.Copy !req
471. Really?Copy !req
472. Hey, if you can't,
it's no biggie.Copy !req
473. No, I can swing that.Copy !req
474. Really?Copy !req
475. You're gonna pay me back, right?Copy !req
476. Absolutely.
Of course.Copy !req
477. My wallet's in the glove box.
Get it for me?Copy !req
478. I may have five C notes right here.Copy !req
479. That would be so fucking great.Copy !req
480. Nope. I don't
have it.Copy !req
481. We're gonna have to stop at a machine.Copy !req
482. Why do you need
500 dollars again?Copy !req
483. Well...Copy !req
484. I don't think Steve
would fuck a skull.Copy !req
485. Why do you keep it in the glove box?Copy !req
486. What?Copy !req
487. Your wallet.Copy !req
488. It's too thick.
It hurts my butt when I'm driving.Copy !req
489. That makes total sense.Copy !req
490. Hey!Copy !req
491. What?Copy !req
492. Oh I I've Been to that houselCopy !req
493. Which house?Copy !req
494. That one back there!Copy !req
495. An old college
professor of mine lives there.Copy !req
496. Really?Copy !req
497. Yeah.Copy !req
498. He was a pretty good dude.Copy !req
499. What'd he teach?Copy !req
500. Marxist studies.Copy !req
501. Marxist studies.Copy !req
502. Yup.Copy !req
503. He introduced me to some pretty
out there concepts.Copy !req
504. Some pretty radical ideas.Copy !req
505. So,
Were you, like, seeing him?Copy !req
506. What do you mean,
"seeing him?"Copy !req
507. Were you seeing him?Copy !req
508. Do you mean like dating him?Copy !req
509. Yeah.Copy !req
510. Ew! He was a fucking
Marxist, man!Copy !req
511. Marxist?Copy !req
512. Why would you even ask something
like that?Copy !req
513. Oh.Copy !req
514. There's a space.Copy !req
515. Where?Copy !req
516. Right there, man!Copy !req
517. Come on, dude!
We don't want to be lateCopy !req
518. for that dentist
appointment of yours!Copy !req
519. Uh, right, right.
Right.Copy !req
520. You comin' or what?Copy !req
521. Yeah.Copy !req
522. So are you scared?Copy !req
523. About what, the dentist?Copy !req
524. No, I've never really been bothered
by going to the dentist.Copy !req
525. It would freak the shit out of me
right now if I had to go in there.Copy !req
526. I don't think I could handle it.Copy !req
527. I kind of like it.Copy !req
528. I mean, it's not like I'm a masochist
or anything, it's just,Copy !req
529. well, in a way, it
makes me feel like,Copy !req
530. yeah,Copy !req
531. my teeth are being taken care of,
you know?Copy !req
532. It make me feel...Copy !req
533. prosperous.Copy !req
534. I'm sorry, were you talking
about something?Copy !req
535. Um,Copy !req
536. Oh, yeah. Great.Copy !req
537. It makes you feel prosperous
or something.Copy !req
538. I'm bored.Copy !req
539. Ericson?Copy !req
540. That's me.Copy !req
541. Okay, I guess I will see you
in a little bit.Copy !req
542. Till we meet againCopy !req
543. Okay.Copy !req
544. He's not my boyfriend
or anything.Copy !req
545. Just a friend.Copy !req
546. In case you were wondering what
my relationship to him was.Copy !req
547. Or not.Copy !req
548. How's it going?Copy !req
549. Thanks, Gina.Copy !req
550. Oh! Thank
fucking God!Copy !req
551. This has been
the longest, dullest...Copy !req
552. most uncomfortable thing I can remember
ever doing.Copy !req
553. I really thought I was gonna die
of boredom.Copy !req
554. I gotta pay still.Copy !req
555. Oh, come on.
Can't we go already?Copy !req
556. (Brevin)
Hey, Jane. What time
do you think it wasCopy !req
557. that I picked you?Copy !req
558. What was that?Copy !req
559. Hey.Copy !req
560. Why don't you come over here while
your friend's talking to you?Copy !req
561. Young lady, come here.Copy !req
562. Come here!Copy !req
563. Look at me.Copy !req
564. Look at me.
I'm not playing games here.Copy !req
565. It's really bright out, officer.Copy !req
566. Would you mind removing your hand
from your forehead?Copy !req
567. It's really bright out.Copy !req
568. What's your name?Copy !req
569. Uh...Copy !req
570. Christy?Copy !req
571. You don't sound too sure of that.Copy !req
572. No, it's Christy.Copy !req
573. Well, Christy,Copy !req
574. how come your friend just called you
Jane a second ago?Copy !req
575. Jane's, uh, my...Copy !req
576. religious name?Copy !req
577. Your religious name?Copy !req
578. Am I under arrest?Copy !req
579. Why would you be under arrest?Copy !req
580. Have you done something I should
know about?Copy !req
581. No, l... shit.
I mean, shoot!Copy !req
582. Sir, do you mind opening your
trunk for me?Copy !req
583. My trunk?Copy !req
584. No. Wait, excuse me. We called you
because... my car...Copy !req
585. Now, Christy,Copy !req
586. am I gonna find whatever kind of drugs
you're on in here?Copy !req
587. Christy.Copy !req
588. Chris-ty.Copy !req
589. Oh, Jesus Christ, Jane!Copy !req
590. Yeah?Copy !req
591. Her name's not Christy,
it's Jane.Copy !req
592. I don't even know why you're
doing that.Copy !req
593. What do you have in here, son?Copy !req
594. I don't know.
Just some stuff.Copy !req
595. Folders that I was supposedCopy !req
596. to Bring to my dad's office
But didn't Because he's an ass.Copy !req
597. What's that?Copy !req
598. A tennis racket.Copy !req
599. And that is a tennis Ball. I wish I
had more, But my dog eats them.Copy !req
600. Jack head, paper clips,Copy !req
601. shoes,Copy !req
602. Hello.Copy !req
603. Hi.Copy !req
604. You're a little early.Copy !req
605. Well, are you coming in or what?Copy !req
606. Huh.Copy !req
607. (Shirley)
Peter's not Back from the airport yet.Copy !req
608. So why don't you just have a seat and
I 'll go get it for you?Copy !req
609. Okay.Copy !req
610. Would you like something to drink?Copy !req
611. Uh, do you have any lemonade?Copy !req
612. Oh, no. I'm sorry.
How about some orange juice?Copy !req
613. Yeah, that sounds good actually.Copy !req
614. All right.
Are you hungry?Copy !req
615. Well... now that
you mention it,Copy !req
616. I wouldn't mind something to
munch on.Copy !req
617. You know, like chips or whatever.Copy !req
618. Well, let me see what I can find.Copy !req
619. Here we go.Copy !req
620. Thanks.Copy !req
621. What's with the corn?Copy !req
622. Excuse me?Copy !req
623. Oh, that's a photo of Peter's.Copy !req
624. I suppose that's his idea of avant
garde or something.Copy !req
625. How long have you been Peter's T.A.?Copy !req
626. Who?Copy !req
627. Peter.Copy !req
628. Oh, you mean Professor Harwood.Copy !req
629. Yes.Copy !req
630. Well, for quite a while now.Copy !req
631. I guess it didn't work out with
that other girl.Copy !req
632. I guess not.Copy !req
633. Well, it's very nice to meet you, uh...Copy !req
634. Jane.Copy !req
635. Jane. I'm Shirley,
Peter's mother.Copy !req
636. Shirley, of course.
Peter talks about you all the time.Copy !req
637. He does?Copy !req
638. Oh, yeah.
Constantly.Copy !req
639. I 'll just go and
get what you came for,Copy !req
640. so that you can be on your way.Copy !req
641. That is where corn chips come from.Copy !req
642. Hmm, maybe old Professor Harwood
is onto something.Copy !req
643. He probably really loves corn,Copy !req
644. and all corn related products.Copy !req
645. I mean, isn't that what
you're supposed to put in a frame?Copy !req
646. Things you love?Copy !req
647. I'm gonna do that.
When I get home,Copy !req
648. I'm gonna frame
a Bunch of stuff I love.Copy !req
649. Like lasagna.
I love lasagna.Copy !req
650. It's so good, and cheesy.Copy !req
651. You know who else loves lasagna?
Garfield.Copy !req
652. Man, that cat really
loves lasagna.Copy !req
653. MayBe I should put
a picture of Garfield in a frame.Copy !req
654. As a kind of shorthand way of saying
I love lasagna.Copy !req
655. That would Be so fucking inside.Copy !req
656. Or how aBout a photo
of President Garfield?Copy !req
657. Oh, shit. That'd
Be totally meta.Copy !req
658. People would Be all like,
"Jane, why do you have a photoCopy !req
659. of President Garfield
on your mantle?"Copy !req
660. And I'd Be like
"Because I like lasagna, of course."Copy !req
661. Oh, my, what happened?Copy !req
662. Did you fall?Copy !req
663. Yes, that's exactly
what happened.Copy !req
664. I was reaching for something and
I kind of rolled off.Copy !req
665. Well, are you all right?Copy !req
666. Oh yeah, I'm fine.Copy !req
667. Are you hiding from someone?Copy !req
668. Of course not.
Why would you ask that?Copy !req
669. It seems like you're hiding
from somebody.Copy !req
670. I don't know what you're talking
about, Shirley.Copy !req
671. Well,Copy !req
672. here you go.Copy !req
673. Great. Thanks
a lot.Copy !req
674. Now I'm sure Peter's told
you this already,Copy !req
675. but he wanted me to be sure to tell
you to take thisCopy !req
676. straight to his office
and put it in the safe.Copy !req
677. Oh, of course.Copy !req
678. Well, I guess that's it then.Copy !req
679. Okay.Copy !req
680. See yah.Copy !req
681. Holy fucking shit.Copy !req
682. Oh!Copy !req
683. Hi.Copy !req
684. Hi.Copy !req
685. I'm just waiting for my clothes
to dry.Copy !req
686. Those are my clothes.Copy !req
687. Right. I'm waiting for your clothes
to dry, so that I can...Copy !req
688. dry my clothes.Copy !req
689. Where are your clothes?Copy !req
690. In my bathtub.Copy !req
691. Excuse me.Copy !req
692. Hey,Copy !req
693. let me ask you something.Copy !req
694. Suppose you had a very rare...Copy !req
695. Let go of my arm.Copy !req
696. Sorry.Copy !req
697. We're cool.
We're just talking here, right?Copy !req
698. Laundry buddies.Copy !req
699. Do you even live
in this building?Copy !req
700. That's not relevant right now,
laundry buddy.Copy !req
701. Let's suppose a person had in
their possession,Copy !req
702. a very old...
very rare...Copy !req
703. book.Copy !req
704. What kind of book?Copy !req
705. A very influential book.Copy !req
706. A book that has changed history.Copy !req
707. I have no idea what the fuck
you're talking about.Copy !req
708. Hey, dude. What's with
the hostility?Copy !req
709. You give me the creeps.Copy !req
710. The creeps?Copy !req
711. Take it somewhere elseCopy !req
712. before I call the cops?Copy !req
713. Whoa! Hold
on there!Copy !req
714. If you want me to leave,
I can go.Copy !req
715. Thank you.Copy !req
716. I'm going, dude.Copy !req
717. Goodbye, dude.Copy !req
718. It's always me.Copy !req
719. Sweet mother of Christ.Copy !req
720. What're you doing?Copy !req
721. I'm just, I was trying...Copy !req
722. I'm calling the cops.Copy !req
723. Hey, don't do that.Copy !req
724. I'm gonna give it back.
I swear!Copy !req
725. What use could I possibly
have for a musty 200-year old book?Copy !req
726. (laundry guy)
Don't put me on hold ICopy !req
727. Hey!Copy !req
728. She's getting away I will find
you I am a Marine Reservist ICopy !req
729. Phew.Copy !req
730. No.Copy !req
731. Wow, do you look fucked up.Copy !req
732. Come on, Hercules.Copy !req
733. Aw, cute pig.Copy !req
734. The truck bed's open.Copy !req
735. It's headed west.Copy !req
736. To Venice.Copy !req
737. I don't see the connection.Copy !req
738. Wait a minute.
It's coming to me.Copy !req
739. Buzz.Copy !req
740. It smells like sausage in here.Copy !req
741. Time for a revised plan.Copy !req
742. NumBer one. ;
Get to that Hemp Festival.Copy !req
743. NumBer two. ; Try to convince Steve
not to steal my furniture.Copy !req
744. Especially not
my Bed. Oh God.Copy !req
745. Anything But that.Copy !req
746. NumBer three. ; Once I've convinced
Steve not to steal my Bed,Copy !req
747. try to figure out a way to return the
Communist ManifestoCopy !req
748. without getting arrested. PossiBly via
the U.S. Postal Service.Copy !req
749. No, GloBal Express
is much more reliaBle.Copy !req
750. Now that sounds like an awesome
revised plan.Copy !req
751. Next stop. ;
Venice, California.Copy !req
752. (AIBert)
Holy shit ICopy !req
753. What?Copy !req
754. Dude.Copy !req
755. Are we in Venice yet?Copy !req
756. Venice?Copy !req
757. Lady, we, we're
in fucking
El Monte.Copy !req
758. Where?Copy !req
759. Do you guys kill pigs here?Copy !req
760. No, that happens way before
they get here.Copy !req
761. We keep the pigs on ice though, until
we need them.Copy !req
762. Shut the fuck up.Copy !req
763. Albert, she asked.Copy !req
764. Hey, fellas.Copy !req
765. Now you did it.Copy !req
766. (Spencer)
What are you doing on the floor?Copy !req
767. Who the hell are you?Copy !req
768. You know the rules, Mikey.
No girlfriends allowed in the plant.Copy !req
769. Oh no, Mr. Spencer,
this isn't my girl...Copy !req
770. I'm not his girlfriend, dude.
Believe me.Copy !req
771. Mikey, Albert, would you mind
explaining to meCopy !req
772. what's going on here?Copy !req
773. Uh...Copy !req
774. I'm here to organize a union.Copy !req
775. What?Copy !req
776. That's right.
I always make it a pointCopy !req
777. to get to know the
workers personally,Copy !req
778. and these two gentlemen were kind
enough to give me a little tour.Copy !req
779. Albert, I thought we cleared upCopy !req
780. all that union
nonsense last year.Copy !req
781. We did, sir.
I was just showing her the way out.Copy !req
782. Look, Mr. Spencer,
is it?Copy !req
783. How much stake do you personally
have in this organization?Copy !req
784. Well, not that
it's any of your business,Copy !req
785. but I've got
a very generous benefit package.Copy !req
786. A generous benefit package.Copy !req
787. Listen to how quickly
the lackey adoptsCopy !req
788. the language of his master.Copy !req
789. Ma'am, I am going
to ask you one time nicely.Copy !req
790. Tell your people
that we are not interested.Copy !req
791. I 'll tell my people all right.Copy !req
792. But first, I have
a little messageCopy !req
793. for you to tell your people.Copy !req
794. You tell your peopleCopy !req
795. the slaughterers of pigs,
the profiteering cowardsCopy !req
796. who dishonestly hide
their dirty businessCopy !req
797. behind a sweet, happy
logo of a cute pig,Copy !req
798. while they manufacture
misery and death.Copy !req
799. Ma'am.Copy !req
800. Please, sir, allow me to finish.Copy !req
801. J ust look around you.Copy !req
802. Do you see it?
Can you hear it?Copy !req
803. And you, sir, stand hereCopy !req
804. in this warehouse of death!Copy !req
805. And you have
the audacity to tell meCopy !req
806. that you have
a generous benefit package?Copy !req
807. And them?Copy !req
808. Do they have
a generous benefit package?Copy !req
809. I think we all know
the answer to that. Don't we?Copy !req
810. It is a tale as old as man.Copy !req
811. The history
of all hither to existing society,Copy !req
812. is the history
of class struggle.Copy !req
813. The free man and slave,
the lord and serf,Copy !req
814. in a word, oppressor
and oppressed,Copy !req
815. stood in constant
opposition to one another,Copy !req
816. carrying on an
uninterrupted fight.Copy !req
817. A fight that each time endedCopy !req
818. in either revolutionary
reconstitution of society at large,Copy !req
819. or in a complete
and total ruin!Copy !req
820. You tell your people that!Copy !req
821. You think you're so, um, uh...Copy !req
822. Jesus! And then you go
on and on about this and thatCopy !req
823. and all this other
bullshit and all I have to say isCopy !req
824. fuck, man! I mean,
this situation is totally fucked.Copy !req
825. With a capital!
I mean, have you ever...Copy !req
826. Do you like even...Copy !req
827. Well, do you?Copy !req
828. You tell your people that.Copy !req
829. Ohhh!Copy !req
830. Ow.Copy !req
831. (Steve the dealer)
Meet me in Venice at three.Copy !req
832. (Shirley)
Take this straight to his
office and put it in the safe.Copy !req
833. (Steve the dealer)
I'd proBaBly take your furniture.Copy !req
834. (casting director)
Are you trying to sell me drugs?Copy !req
835. (policeman)
Young lady, come here.Copy !req
836. (Brevin)
Jane. JanelCopy !req
837. (laundry room man)
You give me the creeps.Copy !req
838. (Brevin)
Christy. Psst.
Chris-tyCopy !req
839. Psst. Jesusl
Jane. Hey. Jane.Copy !req
840. (Mikey)
Jane.Copy !req
841. Hey.Copy !req
842. What are you doing?Copy !req
843. I don't even know where I am.Copy !req
844. Do you want a ride?Copy !req
845. (Jane)
NumBer one. ; Get to
that Hemp Festival.Copy !req
846. So you like
to smoke a lot of weed, huh?Copy !req
847. Not really.Copy !req
848. So are you like
a Communist or something?Copy !req
849. No, man.
I'm not
a Communist.Copy !req
850. What's in Venice that you've got
to go all the way out there for?Copy !req
851. I'm supposed to
be meeting someone.Copy !req
852. H mm.Copy !req
853. Can I ask you something?Copy !req
854. Sure.Copy !req
855. If you could, with a single act,Copy !req
856. change the whole trajectory of your
life, would you do it?Copy !req
857. The trajectory of my life?Copy !req
858. Yeah, the direction your
life is headed in. Where you're going.Copy !req
859. Uh, I don't
know. Um,Copy !req
860. I guess not. I've got a good
job. Why?Copy !req
861. I'm thinking about changing the
trajectory of my life, that's all.Copy !req
862. That's cool.Copy !req
863. God. I get so horny
when I'm stoned.Copy !req
864. What?Copy !req
865. Pot makes me so fucking horny.Copy !req
866. Does it have that affect on you?Copy !req
867. I'm not stoned
right now. But...Copy !req
868. Let's just fuck.
Right here, right now,Copy !req
869. In the car. In the
middle of this fucking traffic jam.Copy !req
870. I don't want to get in an accident.Copy !req
871. Come on, Mikey.
Fuck me.Copy !req
872. Fuck me right now.
You know you want to.Copy !req
873. Come on, Mikey.
Fuck me!Copy !req
874. Fuck mel Yeah I Fuck melCopy !req
875. Fuck me!
Oh, yeah!Copy !req
876. Come on!
Fuck me, Mikey!Copy !req
877. This traffic sucks, huh?Copy !req
878. Huh?Copy !req
879. This traffic...
It sucks.Copy !req
880. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
881. Right.Copy !req
882. H mm.Copy !req
883. Oh, my God! No!
I got to go!Copy !req
884. We're on the freeway.
What are you doing?Copy !req
885. I have to stop
my dealer from stealing my bed!Copy !req
886. What are you talking about?Copy !req
887. There's no time to...
I gotta... Bye!Copy !req
888. Jane!
Jane!Copy !req
889. Where the hell are you going?Copy !req
890. Jane!Copy !req
891. NumBer two. ; Try to convince Steve
not to steal my Bed.Copy !req
892. You shouldn't be walking on the
freeway. It's dangerous.Copy !req
893. I guess.Copy !req
894. Where are you headed?Copy !req
895. Venice.Copy !req
896. That's where I'm going.Copy !req
897. I'll give you a lift.Copy !req
898. Hold on.Copy !req
899. Well, I hope you find
whatever it is you're looking for.Copy !req
900. Thanks.
You too.Copy !req
901. She was nice.Copy !req
902. Carrot Top!Copy !req
903. Excuse me, did you
just come from the Hemp Fest?Copy !req
904. No, man. I'm
from Bethlehem.Copy !req
905. Oh, sorry.Copy !req
906. Dude, I'm just fucking with you.
But it's kind of over.Copy !req
907. What?Copy !req
908. You're a bong
hit late. It's done-ski.Copy !req
909. No!Copy !req
910. Hey, is this the
Thirty-third Annual Venice Hemp Fest?Copy !req
911. Not any more.Copy !req
912. Oh, you've got to be kidding me!Copy !req
913. I'm supposed to meet
my dealer here.Copy !req
914. Do you know him?
His name's Steve.Copy !req
915. Steve? Oh, yeah!Copy !req
916. Is he a dude, he's
got like two arms, two legs,Copy !req
917. And a head.Copy !req
918. That's Steve.
Yeah.Copy !req
919. Forget it.Copy !req
920. Have a fun ride.Copy !req
921. (Roscoe)
In that moment,Copy !req
922. perched high aBove the earth,Copy !req
923. high aBove those
who had come so far to find her,Copy !req
924. Jane knew what she had to do.Copy !req
925. Jane was
no schemer, no conniver,Copy !req
926. no thief.Copy !req
927. Jane knew that
deep down she was pure of heart.Copy !req
928. And that she
did not want to contriButeCopy !req
929. to the toll of human
misery and suffering in the world.Copy !req
930. She knew the time had comeCopy !req
931. to take responsiBility
for what she'd done,Copy !req
932. and to return
the Book to its rightful owner.Copy !req
933. That her intentions were honoraBle,
that there'd Be no doubt.Copy !req
934. But what puzzled many on that day
was not the virtue of her intentions.Copy !req
935. Hey!Copy !req
936. What puzzled many was why.Copy !req
937. Hey!Copy !req
938. By what Bizarre
and convoluted logic,Copy !req
939. did she arrive
at the decision
to doCopy !req
940. what you're aBout to see?Copy !req
941. In short,
what the fuck was she thinking?Copy !req
942. Whoa!
Hey!Copy !req
943. U p here!Copy !req
944. Brevin!
I'm up here!Copy !req
945. Oh no.Copy !req
946. Heyyy!Copy !req
947. Ohhh!Copy !req
948. Help.Copy !req
949. Whoa.Copy !req
950. So, my dad plays
golf with this guy,Copy !req
951. who is a pretty good
criminal attorney.Copy !req
952. I think he's
a criminal attorney.Copy !req
953. He's definitely a lawyer.Copy !req
954. I could try to hook
you up with him if you want.Copy !req
955. Yeah, that sounds good.Copy !req
956. Well, Brevin, it sure
has been a fucking day, huh?Copy !req
957. Yeah, I guess.Copy !req
958. What a weird fucking dream.Copy !req
959. Hey, stoner!
Back to work!Copy !req
960. Sorry.Copy !req
961. (Roscoe)
This has Been the story
of how a person started at A,Copy !req
962. got to Z, and somehow ended upCopy !req
963. collecting garBage
By the side of the freeway.Copy !req
964. And I think you'll all
agree that much like life itself,Copy !req
965. it certainly has
Been... one hell of a crazy ride.Copy !req