1. looks good.
Copy !req
2. On the Northwest toll
eastbound, traffic is moving
nicely this morning
Copy !req
3. from Meacham Road
all the way down
to River Road.
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4. Westbound, there's now
a 20-car backup at
the Devon Avenue toll.
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5. And on the northbound
I-290 extension at
Thorn dale Avenue,
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6. we had a spinout there.
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7. And that car was blocking
the right-hand lane,
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8. and also blocking the lane
that's coming off
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9. of the eastbound
Thorn dale Avenue
entrance ramp,
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10. leading to the northbound
1-290 extension.
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11. This was causing a backup
to Irving Park. We have...
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12. Come on, chop, chop.
We got relatives invading
this afternoon.
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13. Ginny, Mike, Sara, Sam!
Come on, everybody up.
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14. think I have a fever.
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15. You don't have a fever.
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16. Shut your face.
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17. Make me.
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18. Dad, Mike hit me!
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19. You liar.
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20. Mike, come on, pal.
We got a wedding tomorrow.
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21. Try to cooperate,
will you?
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22. Dad, I didn't hit her.
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23. I'd like to very much
and I probably will later,
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24. but give me a break.
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25. You know my method.
I don't hit her when
you're just down the hall.
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26. Pick on someone
your own size.
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27. Open this door.
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28. Daddy, I'm the one
getting married.
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29. Not until tomorrow.
Come on, I've got
a mouthful of toothpaste.
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30. I happen to have
a serious problem.
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31. Dad.
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32. She got her period.
Should make for an
interesting honeymoon, huh?
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33. Where are you
learning that stuff?
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34. School.
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35. Good. Getting
my money's worth.
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36. They were
fantastic. Just great.
What a great crowd.
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37. And it was so much fun...
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38. Chronologically,
you're 16 today.
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39. Physically,
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40. you're still 15.
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41. Hopeless.
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42. Nope. I look exactly the same
as I have since summer.
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43. Utterly forgettable.
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44. No, I didn't expect
to wake up transformed.
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45. I just thought
that turning 16
would be so major,
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46. that I'd wake up with
an improved mental state
that would show in my face.
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47. All that shows is
that I don't have
any sort of a tan left.
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48. I better get downstairs.
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49. My family's probably
pissed off I haven't let them
wish me happy birthday yet.
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50. All right.
I'll see you at school.
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51. You need four inches of bod
and a great birthday.
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52. Where's my briefcase?
Where'd you leave it?
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53. Don't be a smart-ass.
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54. Okay, I'll be a dumb-ass.
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55. You already are.
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56. Okay. Okay, where's Sam?
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57. Where's my briefcase?
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58. Sam?
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59. Allow me, Brenda.
Hey, birth defect.
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60. You missed
breakfast again.
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61. It wasn't my idea
to give her her
own phone line,
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62. I don't have
my own phone line.
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63. Mike, lift
or I'll punch you.
Grab a donut.
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64. You're totally infected.
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65. It's small, it's brown,
it's made of leather,
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66. it has my initials on it.
And I believe... That's it.
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67. Don't forget the grandparents
are coming this afternoon.
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68. Are we still having dinner
with the Rice Chex?
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69. Ryszczyks.
8:00 at the club.
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70. Oh, and you better
learn their names. As of
tomorrow, they're family.
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71. That's a lovely thought.
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72. When it comes your turn
to get married,
do me a favor. Elope.
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73. Who'd marry her?
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74. Mr. Т.
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75. I'm sorry, you'll
have to buy lunch today.
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76. I didn't have time
to fix your carrots.
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77. Yeah, well, she's only eating
carrots to increase
the size of her breasts.
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78. Mister,
you had better shape up,
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79. or you will miss
your sister's wedding.
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80. Promise?
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81. Now, don't give me
that pouty look of yours.
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82. You can eat your carrots
when you get home.
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83. That's it? You don't have
anything else to say
to me today?
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84. What would you like
me to say, Sam?
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85. Come on now, honey.
You're gonna miss the bus.
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86. Have a good day.
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87. can't believe this.
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88. They fucking forgot
my birthday.
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89. I'm sure they didn't
forget your birthday.
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90. They just didn't remember
it right away.
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91. Same difference.
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92. I know it's a drag
that your Sweet 16's
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93. the day before Ginny
gets married, but big deal.
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94. They'll remember.
Oh, easy for you to say.
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95. Did anyone ever
forget your birthday?
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96. Come on, Sam.
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97. Everything's just
getting shittier.
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98. My family forgetting
my birthday just
makes it more vivid.
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99. What do you expect,
a breakfast birthday party?
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100. No, but they could
have at least said
"Happy birthday."
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101. I mean, it was just
like any other day.
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102. Why don't you remind them?
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103. They'll feel some
massive guilt. It could be
highly profitable.
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104. I wouldn't stoop
to remind them.
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105. Since I was about 12,
I've been looking forward
to my Sweet 16.
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106. You know,
a big party and a band,
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107. with tons of people.
Tons of people.
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108. And a big Trans Am
in the driveway with
a ribbon around it.
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109. And some incredibly gorgeous
guy that you meet,
like, in France.
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110. And you do it on
a cloud without getting
pregnant or herpes.
Copy !req
111. don't need the cloud.
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112. Just a pink Trans Am
and the guy, right?
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113. A black guy?
A black one.
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114. A black Trans Am.
A pink guy.
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115. Oh, no.
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116. You swear to God,
you don't have it?
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117. I don't know
anything about it.
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118. Jennifer Woods gave me
a sex test during
Child Development,
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119. and I was supposed to
do it and pass it to you
in Independent Study.
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120. I'm totally screwed.
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121. Did you put
your name on it?
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122. Hi. No, but it was
really embarrassing.
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123. I had to name
who I'd do it with
if I ever did it.
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124. Who'd you name?
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125. Jake Ryan?
Jake Ryan.
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126. He doesn't even
know you exist.
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127. Thank you.
That's a very nice
thing to say.
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128. I'm sorry.
But Jake Ryan?
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129. He's a senior,
and he's taken.
I mean, really taken.
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130. I know. It was supposed
to be my ideal.
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131. He's ideal, for sure,
but forget it.
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132. God, I hope whoever got
the note doesn't know
it was me who wrote it.
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133. I'd shit twice and die.
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134. Do you know
Samantha Baker?
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135. Sophomore, right?
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136. Yeah. What do
you think of her?
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137. don't.
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138. Would you ever
go out with her?
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139. Depends on how much
you paid me.
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140. She's not ugly.
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141. There's nothing there, man.
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142. It's not ugly,
it's just void.
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143. You know what I mean?
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144. There's something
about her.
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145. I do Independent Study
with her.
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146. I catch her
looking at me a lot.
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147. It's kind of cool,
the way she's always
looking at me.
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148. Maybe she's retarded.
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149. I'm being serious, okay?
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150. She looks at me like
she's in love with me.
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151. Jake, she's a child.
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152. So?
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153. So what are you
gonna do with her?
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154. She's obviously too
young to party serious.
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155. Maybe I'm interested
in more than a party.
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156. Come on, Jake.
You talk like
you're hard up.
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157. You got Caroline.
Now she's a woman.
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158. It's unbelievable.
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159. I swear to God,
Caroline Mulford had to
flunk about nine grades.
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160. Truly makes me ill.
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161. She's perfect.
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162. Practically impossible
to cut up.
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163. She's supposedly
real sweet.
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164. Brother's deaf,
and everybody in
the world worships her.
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165. And she's going with Jake.
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166. Oh, I'm gonna kill myself.
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167. My man.
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168. loathe the bus.
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169. There has to be
a more dignified mode
of transportation.
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170. I hope you get a car
for your birthday
and a license.
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171. Let's not hold our breath.
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172. Score.
A direct hit.
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173. On second thought.
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174. Move it.
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175. Call me, okay?
You call me first.
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176. Tell me what
happened at home.
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177. I can tell you
right now. Nothing.
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178. Would you quit feeling
sorry for yourself?
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179. It's bad
for your complexion.
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180. How's it going?
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181. How's what going?
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182. You know, things,
life, whatnot.
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183. Life is not whatnot,
and it's none of
your business.
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184. So you going to
the New Faces dance
tonight or...
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185. That's also none
of your business.
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186. Are you inhibited about
dancing in public? I mean,
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187. you don't have to dance.
I mean, you could
just stand there
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188. with me and my dudes
and just be you, and...
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189. Sounds major.
Copy !req
190. So, I mean, what's the story?
I mean, you got a guy, or...
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191. Yes, three big ones,
and they lust for wimp blood,
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192. so quit bugging me,
or I'll sic them all over
your weenie ass.
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193. You know, I'm getting input
here that I'm reading as
relatively hostile.
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194. I mean, it's just...
Go to hell.
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195. Very hostile.
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196. Come on,
what's the problem here?
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197. I'm a boy,
you're a girl.
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198. Is there anything wrong
with me trying to put together
Copy !req
199. some kind of relationship
between us?
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200. Okay, look, I know you
have to go. Just answer
me one question.
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201. Yes, you're a total fag.
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202. That's not the question.
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203. Am I turning you on?
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204. It's encouraging.
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205. Very encouraging.
Yeah...
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206. You know, a girl
with a hat is just so
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207. vogue.
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208. Yeah.
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209. Where are
my blue socks,
Dorothy?
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210. You mean to tell me
you didn't pack them?
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211. Oh, not again, Howard.
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212. Can't I trust you
to do anything?
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213. Do you expect me
to do all the packing?
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214. Well, at least
I brought this for you.
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215. Sam.
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216. Samantha.
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217. Look.
Oh, look.
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218. Hi.
Hi.
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219. Oh, God.
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220. Oh, sweetheart.
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221. My goodness,
are you a sight
for sore eyes.
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222. Oh, good. Just look.
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223. How are you,
my little lamb chop?
Hello.
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224. I'm fine, Grandpa.
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225. Fine.
How are you guys?
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226. Oh, we're pretty good.
Of course, I get
the lower back pain
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227. every once in a while.
Oh, my corns are
killing me.
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228. And arthritis in my fingers.
I still have
those headaches.
Copy !req
229. Bothers me quite a bit.
But I brought
the ice bag...
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230. So are you...
You're sleeping up here?
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231. Yeah.
Yeah
Copy !req
232. Your grandfather Fred jumped
our claim on Sara's room.
So here we are.
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233. We gotta sleep up here.
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234. Well, I haven't seen
you guys in a while.
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235. Do I look any older today?
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236. Oh, no, no, I wouldn't say so.
Do you think so, darling?
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237. No. Oh, I hope
it isn't cold tomorrow.
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238. You know Ginny.
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239. Well, if she does,
you mustn't bug her
over her wedding dress.
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240. because if a girl does not...
I'm not gonna bug her...
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241. I'm gonna go set myself up
in Mike's room. So I'll see
you guys later.
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242. Okay, sweetheart,
there she goes.
Oh, look,
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243. Grandpa and I are looking
forward to a nice, long,
long visit with you.
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244. Aces.
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245. We certainly are.
We're looking forward...
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246. See you a little later,
darling. We've got a lot to...
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247. I swear to God,
this has got to be a joke.
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248. Grandparents forgetting
a birthday?
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249. They live for that shit.
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250. with my arms around you
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251. Well, well, if it isn't
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252. Sammy Baker Davis Jr.
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253. Hi, Grandpa.
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254. Oh, I've got one for you.
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255. Knock, knock.
Who's there?
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256. Who, who?
Who.
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257. Helen, we've got an owl
out here in the hall.
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258. Fred, Fred,
leave her alone.
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259. You'll make her tinkle.
Oh, come on, Helen.
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260. Oh, Sam,
let me look at you.
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261. Fred, she's gotten
her boobies.
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262. I'd better go get
my magnifying glass.
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263. Oh, and they are so perky.
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264. I can't believe
my grandmother
actually felt me up.
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265. What's happening,
hot stuff?
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266. His name is
Long Duk Dong.
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267. What?
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268. Long Duk Dong.
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269. He came down
with Grandma and
Grandpa Baker.
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270. He's an exchange student
that's living with them.
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271. Yeah, well,
he's totally bizarre.
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272. He is not.
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273. He is a very sweet boy.
Copy !req
274. I just hope you burn
the sheets and mattresses
after he leaves.
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275. I don't suppose it makes
any difference to you,
Copy !req
276. but there's a very weird
Chinese guy up in Mike's room.
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277. Ginny dumped Rudy
and he's her new fiancé.
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278. Mike, stop it.
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279. Sam, honey, do you think
you could help the
grandmothers with supper?
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280. Dad and I have to go
to the club for dinner
with the Rice Chex.
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281. Ryszczyks.
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282. Ryszczyks.
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283. Do you think that
there's any reason
Copy !req
284. that I should possibly
stay home tonight?
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285. Well, I think it might
be nice if you'd visit
Copy !req
286. with your grandparents
and Long Duk Dong.
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287. Who?
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288. The weird Chinese
guy in Mike's room.
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289. I think I have
a dance to go to.
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290. Well, that's okay.
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291. Oh, can you remember
to turn off the stove
in 20 minutes?
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292. I can remember
lots of things.
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293. This is the single worst
day of my entire life.
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294. What the hell
are you bitching about?
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295. I gotta sleep under
some Chinaman named
after a duck's dork.
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296. Well, where am I sleeping?
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297. Sofa City, sweetheart.
Copy !req
298. Do you think Grandpa Fred's
going to embarrass me?
Copy !req
299. I don't know why not.
He does it to everyone else.
Copy !req
300. He already asked me
if Rudy was the oily
variety bohunk.
Copy !req
301. Is he?
Copy !req
302. Don't be cute.
Copy !req
303. I really love Rudy.
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304. And he is totally
enamored of me.
Copy !req
305. I mean, I've had men
who've loved me before,
Copy !req
306. but not for six months
in a row.
Copy !req
307. think I'm in love.
Copy !req
308. So how long have you
been in love?
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309. Well, it hasn't really
happened yet.
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310. So what's the deal?
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311. I'm not sure that
he knows I exist.
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312. Sam, I really don't
have time for this.
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313. Well, I'm sorry.
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314. I always listen to you
talk about your boyfriends.
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315. Darling, is something
bothering you?
Copy !req
316. You're really acting
like an asshole.
Copy !req
317. And I think
I know what it is.
Copy !req
318. I think you're jealous
that I'm getting married
Copy !req
319. and that I'm getting
all the attention.
Copy !req
320. You know, everybody in
this family has just gone
totally Outer Limits.
Copy !req
321. No, Sam.
Copy !req
322. I think you're just being
a little selfish and immature.
Copy !req
323. Oh, yes. That's it.
Copy !req
324. That's exactly it.
Copy !req
325. Unbelievable.
Copy !req
326. You make someone a bridesmaid,
and they shit all over you.
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327. Very clever dinner.
Copy !req
328. Appetizing food fit neatly
into interesting round pie.
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329. It's a quiche.
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330. How do you spell?
Copy !req
331. Well, you don't spell it,
son, you eat it.
Copy !req
332. Dong has only been
in our country
a short time, Fred.
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333. I think we could all
help him assimilate.
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334. Long Duk Dong is
about your age, Sam.
Copy !req
335. You two should have
a lot to chat about.
Copy !req
336. I love visiting with
Grandma and Grandpa
Copy !req
337. and writing letters
to parents
Copy !req
338. and pushing
lawn-mowing machine
Copy !req
339. so Grandpa's hyena
don't get disturbed.
Copy !req
340. Hernia.
Copy !req
341. Oh, yes, yes, yes, indeedy.
Copy !req
342. He does the dishes
and helps with the laundry,
Copy !req
343. you betcha.
Copy !req
344. May I be excused?
Copy !req
345. Where are you going?
Copy !req
346. I have a dance
to go to at school.
Copy !req
347. It's a very important dance.
Copy !req
348. We're being graded
on it for gym.
Copy !req
349. Wait a minute.
I have a wonderful idea.
Copy !req
350. Would you like to go
to the dance with Sam?
Copy !req
351. wonder if Jake's here.
Copy !req
352. I don't think
it's too healthy to get
all jacked up
Copy !req
353. about some guy
that isn't even a thing yet.
Copy !req
354. Yeah, when you don't have
anything, you don't have
anything to lose, right?
Copy !req
355. That's a cheerful thought.
Copy !req
356. Let's go make
ourselves available.
Copy !req
357. That's the one, dude.
Scope it out.
Copy !req
358. She doesn't look
like a freshman.
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359. Sophomore, dude.
Sophomore.
Copy !req
360. Fully-aged sophomore meat.
Copy !req
361. We do the bus together.
Copy !req
362. You talk to her?
Copy !req
363. Talk? Dude, I have
a relationship with her.
Get off.
Copy !req
364. Figured to,
like, 17 digits.
Copy !req
365. You are such a liar.
Copy !req
366. We'll see about that,
my man.
Copy !req
367. By night's end, I predict
me and her will interface.
Copy !req
368. Check it out, Wease.
Copy !req
369. Pretty intense, huh? Over.
Copy !req
370. Wacks to the max. Over.
Copy !req
371. All right.
Copy !req
372. I knew you'd come around.
Copy !req
373. Christ.
Copy !req
374. Crank that, sister.
Copy !req
375. Very hot. Very hot.
Tonight, tonight
is happening.
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376. I'm blowing your mind,
aren't I?
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377. I'm just getting warmed up.
Copy !req
378. Excuse me.
Copy !req
379. Way to go, dick-face.
She took off.
Copy !req
380. Don't spaz out, okay,
Wease? The situation
will come online.
Copy !req
381. Yeah? I'll bet you
a dozen floppy disks
you don't even get tit.
Copy !req
382. You got a bet, scumbag.
I'll get it all.
Copy !req
383. Take off. You wouldn't even
be able to prove it, anyway.
Copy !req
384. A, don't hit me.
Copy !req
385. Secondly, what kind
of proof do you want?
Copy !req
386. Video.
Video.
Copy !req
387. No way, okay? I can just see
the thing getting duped
a thousand times
Copy !req
388. and, like, winding up
on cable somewhere.
Copy !req
389. Try again.
Copy !req
390. Underpants.
Underpants.
Copy !req
391. No prob, butt-lick.
Copy !req
392. Girls' underpants.
Copy !req
393. So, what's your name?
Copy !req
394. Dong.
Copy !req
395. What's your first name?
Copy !req
396. Long.
Copy !req
397. What's your middle name?
Copy !req
398. Duk.
Copy !req
399. I bet all the boys chase you
plenty in the school, huh?
Copy !req
400. Nobody's caught me yet.
Copy !req
401. I betcha you
big teaser, huh?
Copy !req
402. No. I run the 40
in five flat.
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403. Flat?
Copy !req
404. Hey.
Copy !req
405. I'm really sorry, man.
Copy !req
406. Whatever I did was an...
I mean, I didn't mean to...
Copy !req
407. Relax.
Copy !req
408. You were dancing
with a girl?
Copy !req
409. Oh, man, I'm really,
I'm really sorry, man.
Copy !req
410. I didn't even know
what I was doing.
Do you know her?
Copy !req
411. She grabbed me, guy.
I'm totally innocent.
Is she yours?
Copy !req
412. What do you know
about her?
Copy !req
413. She has smallish tits,
decent voice.
Copy !req
414. Smells pretty good.
She drives me crazy.
Copy !req
415. Did she come
here with you?
Copy !req
416. No, no. But if it's okay
with my dad, she's going
home with me.
Copy !req
417. Excuse me.
Copy !req
418. Do you guys want to
blow off this dance?
Yes.
Copy !req
419. I am bored to
the brink of insanity.
Copy !req
420. And go where?
Copy !req
421. Jake's parents aren't home,
we could do his house.
Copy !req
422. How's it going?
Copy !req
423. Fine.
Copy !req
424. We'd have to
party light, though,
Copy !req
425. Jake's too paranoid
about his parents' house
getting trashed.
Copy !req
426. Again?
Copy !req
427. Okay.
Copy !req
428. All right.
Copy !req
429. Just trying to get
a little bit of water.
Copy !req
430. Yeah.
Copy !req
431. Yes, I'm back.
Copy !req
432. So I smell.
Copy !req
433. It's from my shaving cream.
Copy !req
434. You wanna feel
a real clean,
close shave?
Copy !req
435. I'll pass.
Copy !req
436. Couldn't find anyone
else to bug, huh?
Copy !req
437. Come on. You know
you're the one
I want to bug, huh?
Copy !req
438. This is my friend, Randy.
And that's Jimmy Montrose.
Copy !req
439. Howdy, dude.
This is Farmer Fred.
Copy !req
440. Ted.
Oh, I'm sorry.
This is Farmer Ted.
Copy !req
441. I'm not really a farmer.
I'm a freshman.
Copy !req
442. Geek, can I be
honest with you?
Copy !req
443. Not if you're gonna
insult me.
Copy !req
444. Okay.
Copy !req
445. Shoot.
Get the hell out of here.
Copy !req
446. Nice, nice manners, babe.
Copy !req
447. She's totally serious,
ass-wipe.
Copy !req
448. Chill.
Copy !req
449. You wanna split with me? I...
Copy !req
450. I don't know, you know.
I can't handle this.
Copy !req
451. My mom always tells me,
Copy !req
452. "If you want something,
you gotta ask for it,"
you know?
Copy !req
453. I mean, I'm not
the kind of guy...
Copy !req
454. It's embarrassing for me.
I don't know. I just...
Copy !req
455. It's just...
Copy !req
456. I'm really sorry about
what happened in the gym.
Copy !req
457. I had no idea
you couldn't dance.
Copy !req
458. What a decent night, huh?
Copy !req
459. It's my birthday.
Copy !req
460. You say it's your birthday
Copy !req
461. It's my birthday, too
Copy !req
462. Don't do that, okay?
Copy !req
463. Hey, Jude
Copy !req
464. Just stop it, okay?
Copy !req
465. I mean, it's really been
a shitty birthday for me.
Copy !req
466. No offense,
but I don't need
a serenade right how.
Copy !req
467. What's wrong?
You didn't get
anything good, or...
Copy !req
468. I didn't get shit.
Not even, "Happy birthday."
Copy !req
469. My whole family
just sort of blew it off.
Copy !req
470. I'd freak if my family
forgot my birthday.
Copy !req
471. It's a brand-new year.
Copy !req
472. I'm 16.
Everything should
be platinum.
Copy !req
473. I should be happy,
right?
Copy !req
474. Right?
Yeah.
Copy !req
475. Well, I can't get happy.
Copy !req
476. It is physically impossible
for me to get happy.
Copy !req
477. Would you feel better
if you knew one of
my secrets, or...
Copy !req
478. Don't gross me out.
Copy !req
479. No, we're not talking gross
here. No, it's just...
Copy !req
480. It's just embarrassing.
Copy !req
481. This information cannot leave
this room, okay?
Copy !req
482. It would devastate
my reputation as a dude.
Copy !req
483. No problem.
Copy !req
484. I've never
bagged a babe.
Copy !req
485. I'm not a stud.
Copy !req
486. I got the rep
in sixth grade.
Copy !req
487. And it, like, I don't know,
it stuck with me.
Copy !req
488. I'm still on hold.
Copy !req
489. Look, I'd appreciate
you not laughing, okay?
Copy !req
490. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
491. 'hat's not what I meant.
Copy !req
492. meant...
Copy !req
493. Hey, time out, junior.
Copy !req
494. Pardon me.
Copy !req
495. It's okay.
Copy !req
496. I meant that it's okay
that you did it once,
Copy !req
497. but I didn't mean
for you to do it again.
Copy !req
498. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
499. Sorry.
Copy !req
500. You know, just now,
I really felt how
much you like me.
Copy !req
501. You're probably zoning
in on my brain waves
or something.
Copy !req
502. Well, not really,
I felt it on my leg.
Copy !req
503. Come on.
I don't want to see it!
Copy !req
504. Sorry if I embarrassed you.
Copy !req
505. I'm not embarrassed.
Copy !req
506. Fresh breath's
a priority in my life.
Copy !req
507. You know,
I really don't want
to hurt your feelings,
Copy !req
508. 'cause it's really human
of you to listen to
all my bullshit.
Copy !req
509. I care about it, really.
I mean...
Copy !req
510. I know I came on kind of
like a poozer on the bus
tonight and everything,
Copy !req
511. but that's just so my friends
won't think, you know,
I'm a jerk.
Copy !req
512. But they're all pretty much
jerks, though, aren't they?
Copy !req
513. Yeah, but the thing is,
I'm kind of like the leader,
you know.
Copy !req
514. Kind of like the king
of the dipshits.
Copy !req
515. Well, that's pretty cool.
Copy !req
516. Hey, but a lot can happen
over a year.
Copy !req
517. I mean, you could come back
next fall as a completely
normal person.
Copy !req
518. Yeah?
Sure.
Copy !req
519. Would it be totally
off the wall if...
Copy !req
520. |if I asked if I could
have sex with you?
Copy !req
521. Yeah, well, you asking me
is not as off the wall
as why I won't.
Copy !req
522. VD?
No.
Copy !req
523. I'm sort of saving myself.
Copy !req
524. It's really stupid.
He doesn't even know
I exist.
Copy !req
525. Who?
Copy !req
526. Who?
Copy !req
527. Jake Ryan.
Copy !req
528. You like Jake?
Copy !req
529. Jake's my boy.
Copy !req
530. I just talked to Jake
in the gym.
Copy !req
531. He asked me about you.
Did not.
Copy !req
532. He did, too. He did.
He asked me
what you were like.
Copy !req
533. Oh, my... Oh.
Copy !req
534. If you're lying,
I'll beat the crap
out of you.
Copy !req
535. I'm not lying.
Copy !req
536. Oh, my God,
what should I do?
Copy !req
537. Should I go up to him?
Should I say,
"Hi, Jake, I'm Samantha?"
Copy !req
538. Or, no, maybe I should
let him come to me.
Copy !req
539. This is not
my department.
Copy !req
540. But what if I decide
to let him come to me,
and then he forgets?
Copy !req
541. Or then what if
he changes his mind?
Copy !req
542. And then I'm
totally screwed,
right?
Copy !req
543. Apparently so.
Copy !req
544. What would you do
if you were me?
Copy !req
545. I'm a gambling man
by nature.
Copy !req
546. And I'd go for it.
Copy !req
547. This is so strange.
But I think I will.
Oh, you're the best.
Copy !req
548. What?
Wait...
Copy !req
549. Do you know anything
about floppy disks?
Copy !req
550. We'll talk about this
on the bus, okay?
Well, no.
Copy !req
551. See, the thing is,
I got kind of a problem.
Copy !req
552. Well, floppy disks
are pretty expensive
Copy !req
553. and, see, the thing is,
I made a bet with my friends,
Copy !req
554. the dipshits.
Copy !req
555. I bet them that
I'd do it with you.
Copy !req
556. But this was before
I knew you as a person.
Copy !req
557. I can get proof
without actually
getting physical.
Copy !req
558. How?
Copy !req
559. Can I borrow
your underpants
for 10 minutes?
Copy !req
560. I think it's time to blow
this thing off and
go to your house.
Copy !req
561. Yeah?
I told Tracy and Robin
and those guys
Copy !req
562. to come to your parents'
house, okay? I told them
not to tell anybody.
Copy !req
563. God, I love it when
your parents are out of town,
Copy !req
564. I fantasize that
I'm your wife,
Copy !req
565. and we're, like,
the richest, most popular
adults in town.
Copy !req
566. I owe all my great
weekends to you.
Copy !req
567. What's your problem?
Copy !req
568. What?
Copy !req
569. You've been acting
weird all night.
Copy !req
570. [Are you screwing a round?
Copy !req
571. Me? Are you crazy?
Copy !req
572. I don't know, Jake.
Copy !req
573. I'm g etting strange signal s.
Copy !req
574. Well, they're not
com I n g fro m me.
Copy !req
575. Look, everything's fine.
Don't have a cow.
Copy !req
576. Okay.
Copy !req
577. But just remember
one thing.
Copy !req
578. I can name 20 guys
who'd kill to love me.
Copy !req
579. Is that a threat?
Copy !req
580. It's a fact, Jake.
Copy !req
581. Come on. Before we get in
a big, wicked fight,
let's get out of here, huh?
Copy !req
582. Hi, Jake. I'm Samantha.
How's it going?
Copy !req
583. Do you got a cigarette?
Copy !req
584. Jake, this may sound
incredibly dumb,
Copy !req
585. but I love you,
and I'll do anything to
make you love me.
Copy !req
586. I love your shirt.
Copy !req
587. Jake, you're not
gonna believe this,
Copy !req
588. but I had this very bizarre
dream, and you were in it.
Copy !req
589. For heaven's sake.
Get in there and dance.
Copy !req
590. I can't.
They won't like me.
I'm not gonna tell you again.
Copy !req
591. Just act like a man.
Copy !req
592. I wanna go home.
I wanna be with you guys.
Copy !req
593. I can't believe
I'm such a jerk.
Copy !req
594. He smiles at me and
I don't say anything.
Copy !req
595. And I can't believe
I gave my panties to a geek.
Copy !req
596. What year are you?
Copy !req
597. Freshman.
Copy !req
598. Give me a buck.
Okay, get in.
Copy !req
599. Shut up.
Copy !req
600. Bryce?
Copy !req
601. Ted, go for it.
Copy !req
602. Hey, listen.
Copy !req
603. I wanna thank you for
loaning me the Donger.
Copy !req
604. He's really bitching.
Copy !req
605. That's okay. You guys
make a great couple.
Copy !req
606. I've never been
so happy in my whole life.
Copy !req
607. You maniac.
Copy !req
608. Now I have a place
to put my hand.
Copy !req
609. So basically, Jimmy,
my business is
video game arcades,
Copy !req
610. laundry,
cigarette machines
and trucking.
Copy !req
611. I dabble a little bit
in personal loans
and politics.
Copy !req
612. Very nice.
Copy !req
613. I think that all that really
matters is that the kids
are happy together.
Copy !req
614. Just as long as
my beautiful boy
remembers
Copy !req
615. that marrying this one
means he's out of the
Girl-of-the-Month club.
Copy !req
616. Hey, wait a minute.
I can still look.
Copy !req
617. I just can't touch. Right?
Copy !req
618. Oh, sensitive, huh?
Rudy.
Copy !req
619. Right on.
Cheers.
Copy !req
620. You do shots?
Come on, wolf it.
Copy !req
621. Good night, Marlene.
See you later, Dong.
Copy !req
622. Sammy, tell Grandpa not
to wait up. Let's go boogie.
Copy !req
623. Sure.
Copy !req
624. Donger's here for five hours
and he's got somebody.
Copy !req
625. I live here my whole life,
and I'm like a disease.
Copy !req
626. Everybody, I'd like you
to meet my boyfriend, Jake.
Copy !req
627. Jake, this is everybody.
Copy !req
628. Take it off.
Copy !req
629. All right,
whose is this?
Copy !req
630. You're such a poop.
Copy !req
631. Oh, Tony!
Copy !req
632. Shit, Ted, that's my mom.
I gotta get home.
Copy !req
633. Change your frequency, okay?
Don't be such a wimp.
Copy !req
634. Take those ridiculous
things off, okay?
Copy !req
635. Will you guys grow up?
Copy !req
636. Ted, won't we get pounded
if we go to a senior party?
Copy !req
637. Wease, we got $70,
and we got a pair of
girl's underpants.
Copy !req
638. We're safe
as kittens. Okay?
Copy !req
639. This is a great social
opportunity for us.
Copy !req
640. Come on.
Copy !req
641. Do not embarrass me, okay?
Copy !req
642. For sure, we won't.
Copy !req
643. Will you fix
your hair, Bryce?
I already did.
Copy !req
644. Wease, close your barn,
all right?
Copy !req
645. And be polite to
his parents, all right?
Okay, okay.
Copy !req
646. Hey, come on in
and party hearty,
dude persons.
Copy !req
647. He's from out of town, okay?
He speaks English, right?
Copy !req
648. Don't be such faggots.
Man, shut up.
Copy !req
649. Kidding. Sorry.
Copy !req
650. Think we're gonna die?
Definitely.
Copy !req
651. We put the cat out?
Copy !req
652. We don't have a cat.
Copy !req
653. Come on, damn it. Answer.
Copy !req
654. Oh, eat me.
Copy !req
655. Who is it?
Copy !req
656. Well, what did they want?
Copy !req
657. Sex.
Copy !req
658. Geek!
Copy !req
659. Very nice.
We're here five minutes
and then...
Copy !req
660. I'm at a loss.
Copy !req
661. Rea I smooth, Cliff.
Copy !req
662. I've never been out
with a boy before.
Copy !req
663. Oh, me, neither.
Copy !req
664. Jake?
Copy !req
665. Where are you, Jake?
Copy !req
666. Jakey, have you
stopped loving me?
Copy !req
667. Leave me alone.
Copy !req
668. What?
Copy !req
669. I'm sorry,
I don't do that.
Copy !req
670. Yes, you do.
I know.
Copy !req
671. Come on.
Trace. You guys.
Copy !req
672. Would you please
help me, please?
Copy !req
673. Oh, shit.
Copy !req
674. Come on, you guys.
I'm your prom queen.
Copy !req
675. Trace, you guys, I'm serious.
Come on. I need help.
Copy !req
676. Okay.
I broke those pearls!
Oh,
Copy !req
677. What is the problem?
Copy !req
678. Several things.
Copy !req
679. Okay. We'll help you.
Copy !req
680. Don't go away,
Caroline, baby.
Copy !req
681. Hello? Hello?
Copy !req
682. Listen, I know you're there.
I can hear you breathing.
Copy !req
683. Yes, hello, sir...
Copy !req
684. Are you the little bugger
that's been calling up
here all night
Copy !req
685. and then hanging up?
Copy !req
686. Would it be possible for
you to tell me if there is
a Samantha Baker there?
Copy !req
687. And if so, sir,
may I converse
with her briefly?
Copy !req
688. Yes, it is.
And no, you may not.
Copy !req
689. Might I leave
a message, sir?
Copy !req
690. He wants to leave
a message for Sam.
Copy !req
691. Here, give me that phone.
Copy !req
692. Now, you listen to me, mister.
Copy !req
693. God did not put me
on this earth to be awakened
by filthy suggestions
Copy !req
694. from a foul-mouthed
hooligan like you.
Copy !req
695. And as for our granddaughter,
I'm sure she has more
than enough sense
Copy !req
696. to stay clear of
the likes of you.
Copy !req
697. Now, good night
and good-bye!
Copy !req
698. That was great.
Copy !req
699. Sam's lucky
she has us, Howard.
Yeah.
Copy !req
700. Even if she doesn't
appreciate us.
Copy !req
701. Do you promise
you won't get mad?
Copy !req
702. No, I love you.
Copy !req
703. Okay, cl о s e у о u r eyes.
Copy !req
704. Scalpel.
Scalpel.
Copy !req
705. My God.
Copy !req
706. That was wonderful, Trace!
I'm so proud of you.
Copy !req
707. [I don't know how
to thank you enough.
Copy !req
708. My pleasure.
Copy !req
709. My God. Wow.
Copy !req
710. I hope
they have insurance.
The party's over.
Copy !req
711. Son of a bitch.
Copy !req
712. What a disaster.
Copy !req
713. Jake!
Copy !req
714. Sam.
Copy !req
715. Sweetheart?
Copy !req
716. Daddy?
Hi, kiddo.
Copy !req
717. What's wrong?
Copy !req
718. Nothing. Everything's fine.
Copy !req
719. I was just upstairs
and I couldn't sleep.
Copy !req
720. I feel like
a real jerk, honey.
Copy !req
721. We forgot your birthday.
Copy !req
722. I bet you're really
POed, huh?
Copy !req
723. No, it's okay.
Copy !req
724. I'm not really
all that upset anymore.
Copy !req
725. This wedding is really turning
this entire house inside out.
Copy !req
726. And I just came down
to tell you that
we did remember.
Copy !req
727. Thanks, Dad.
Copy !req
728. Happy birthday.
Copy !req
729. Is something else wrong?
Copy !req
730. No, why?
Copy !req
731. I don't know, I just get
the feeling that something's
bothering you.
Copy !req
732. Something other
than your birthday.
Copy !req
733. No, I'm fine. Really.
Copy !req
734. think I know what it is.
Copy !req
735. It has to do with
a certain guy?
Copy !req
736. I know, honey, I know.
Copy !req
737. We're all upset
that Ginny's marrying
a bohunk.
Copy !req
738. What's the matter?
Copy !req
739. meant Jake.
Copy !req
740. Jake?
Copy !req
741. Wait a minute.
I thought she said
his name was Rudy.
Copy !req
742. Forget it.
Copy !req
743. Forget what?
Who's Jake?
Copy !req
744. He's a boy, Daddy.
It's nothing. Okay?
Just forget it, please?
Copy !req
745. Come on, Sam,
we're not communicating.
Copy !req
746. It's extremely
embarrassing, okay?
Copy !req
747. What's embarrassing?
Copy !req
748. Sitting in the dark
with your dad, telling him
about your love life.
Copy !req
749. I'm afraid you
lost me again, Sam.
Copy !req
750. Jake is a senior,
and he's beautiful
and perfect.
Copy !req
751. I like him a real lot,
and he doesn't like me.
Okay?
Copy !req
752. Oh.
Copy !req
753. And he's got
this incredible
girlfriend.
Copy !req
754. I'm just this ridiculous
dork that's following him
around like a puppy.
Copy !req
755. Why do you think
you're a dork?
Copy !req
756. I don't think
you're a dork.
Copy !req
757. I don't think Mom
thinks you're a dork.
Copy !req
758. Mike thinks I'm a dork.
Copy !req
759. Mike is a dork.
Copy !req
760. Well, so am I.
Copy !req
761. Well, if it's any consolation,
I love you.
Copy !req
762. And if this guy can't see
in you all the beautiful and
wonderful things that I see,
Copy !req
763. then he's got the problem.
Copy !req
764. I know.
It just hurts.
Copy !req
765. That's why they
call them crushes.
Copy !req
766. If they were easy,
they'd call them
something else.
Copy !req
767. Yeah, but if I were Ginny,
I'd have this guy crawling
on his knees.
Copy !req
768. Well, let me tell you
something about Ginny.
Copy !req
769. Now, I love her
as much as I love you.
Copy !req
770. But she's
a different person.
Copy !req
771. Sometimes I worry
about her.
Copy !req
772. You know, when you're given
things kind of easily,
Copy !req
773. you don't always
appreciate them.
Copy !req
774. With you,
I'm not worried.
Copy !req
775. When it happens to you,
Samantha, it'll be forever.
Copy !req
776. Well, I don't think
I'll be able to sleep
Copy !req
777. if I don't feel this
little talk has helped you.
Copy !req
778. So would you be
a sport and lie to me?
Copy !req
779. Yeah, sure, Daddy.
Copy !req
780. Good night, sweetheart.
Good night.
Copy !req
781. Oh, one more thing,
sweetheart.
Copy !req
782. What?
Copy !req
783. When you do find
the right guy, don't let
him boss you around.
Copy !req
784. Make sure he knows
you wear the pants
in the family.
Copy !req
785. These are really hers?
Copy !req
786. Yeah.
Copy !req
787. How did you get them?
Copy !req
788. She gave them to me.
Copy !req
789. Did you...
Copy !req
790. No. No, Jake,
she's crying for you.
Copy !req
791. I told her you asked
about her, right?
The girl freaked.
Copy !req
792. She had a hissy.
She thinks you're
the cat's meow.
Copy !req
793. Really?
Yeah.
Copy !req
794. She came up to me
in the gym tonight.
Copy !req
795. She looked at me
like I was a leper.
Copy !req
796. Girls will do that,
Jake, you know?
Copy !req
797. You see, they know guys
are, like, in perpetual heat,
right?
Copy !req
798. They know this shit.
And they enjoy pumping us up.
Copy !req
799. It's pure power politics,
I'm telling you.
Copy !req
800. I thought she hated my guts.
Copy !req
801. Games, Jake.
Silly, torturous games.
Copy !req
802. You know
how many times a week
I go without lunch
Copy !req
803. because some bitch
borrows my lunch money?
Copy !req
804. You know,
any halfway decent girl
can rob me blind.
Copy !req
805. Because I'm too torqued up
to say no.
Copy !req
806. It's heinous,
I'm telling you.
Copy !req
807. You better not be
clicking me around.
Copy !req
808. It'd be a major downer
to try and get together
with this girl
Copy !req
809. and find out she really does
think I'm a slime.
Copy !req
810. Jake, would I dick you?
Copy !req
811. Let me put it
to you this way.
Copy !req
812. What happens to me
if I dick you?
Copy !req
813. I'd kick your ass.
Copy !req
814. Right. So why would I lie?
Copy !req
815. But I feel compelled
to mention to you, Jake,
Copy !req
816. I mean, if all you want
off the girl is
a piece of ass, I mean,
Copy !req
817. I'll either do it myself,
or get someone bigger than me
Copy !req
818. to kick your ass.
Copy !req
819. I mean, not many girls
in contemporary
American society today
Copy !req
820. would give their underwear
to help a geek like me.
Copy !req
821. I can get a piece of
ass any time I want.
Copy !req
822. Shit, I got Caroline in
the bedroom right now,
passed out cold.
Copy !req
823. I could violate her
10 different ways
if I wanted to.
Copy !req
824. What are you waiting for?
Copy !req
825. don't know.
Copy !req
826. She's beautiful and
she's built and all that.
Copy !req
827. I'm just not interested
anymore.
Copy !req
828. Does that really matter, guy?
Copy !req
829. Yeah, it matters.
Copy !req
830. She's totally insensitive.
Look what she did to my house.
Copy !req
831. She doesn't know
shit about love.
Copy !req
832. Only thing she cares
about is partying.
Copy !req
833. I want a serious girlfriend.
Copy !req
834. Somebody I can love,
that's gonna love me back.
Copy !req
835. Is that psycho?
Copy !req
836. That's beautiful, Jake.
Copy !req
837. You know, I think
a ton of guys feel
the same way as you do.
Copy !req
838. Really?
Yeah. It's just they don't...
Copy !req
839. They don't have the balls
to admit it. You know
what I mean?
Copy !req
840. I mean, they're just...
They're wimps.
Copy !req
841. Samantha's...
She's really special,
you know?
Copy !req
842. I'll make a deal with you.
Copy !req
843. You let me keep these,
Copy !req
844. I'll let you take
Caroline home.
Copy !req
845. But you gotta make sure
she gets home.
Copy !req
846. You can't leave her
in some parking lot
somewhere. Okay?
Copy !req
847. Jake, I'm only a freshman.
Copy !req
848. So? She's so blitzed,
she won't know the difference.
Copy !req
849. Jake, I don't have a car.
Copy !req
850. You can take mine.
Copy !req
851. Jake, I don't
have a license.
Copy !req
852. I trust you.
Copy !req
853. Jake, I'd love to.
I can't. Want a pretzel?
Copy !req
854. You sure?
Positive.
Copy !req
855. I got her.
You got her?
Copy !req
856. Yeah.
Copy !req
857. This is your car, Jake?
Copy !req
858. No, this is my dad's car.
Copy !req
859. You said you couldn't
drive a stick.
Copy !req
860. 'his is a...
Copy !req
861. This is a Rolls-Royce, Jake.
Copy !req
862. So?
So? So?
Copy !req
863. I heard the grill alone
costs five grand on this.
Copy !req
864. Five grand.
Do you have five grand?
I don't have five grand.
Copy !req
865. Then don't hit anything.
Don't hit anything.
Copy !req
866. Do you want
to do this or not?
Copy !req
867. No.
Copy !req
868. Who the hell?
Who does he...
Copy !req
869. Who's he?
Copy !req
870. That's me.
Copy !req
871. Who are you?
Copy !req
872. I'm him.
Copy !req
873. Okay.
Copy !req
874. She's totally gone.
Have fun.
Thanks.
Copy !req
875. Jake, is your dad
a big man, or...
Copy !req
876. About 6'4".
Copy !req
877. Very nice.
Copy !req
878. Но.
Copy !req
879. Но.
Copy !req
880. Easy.
Copy !req
881. Easy.
Copy !req
882. Oh, sexy girlfriend.
Copy !req
883. Banzai!
Copy !req
884. Think they liked us?
Copy !req
885. Definitely.
Copy !req
886. Go, darling geek.
Copy !req
887. Could we turn that
music down a little bit?
Copy !req
888. I'm a first-time driver.
I really need to concentrate.
Copy !req
889. Excuse me. Stop that.
Copy !req
890. Looks like rain.
Better put the top up.
Copy !req
891. Will you stop that?
You can get us in
a lot of trouble doing that.
Copy !req
892. 'his is a car.
Copy !req
893. He probably doesn't
even got Triple A
on it or anything.
Copy !req
894. Chug-a-lug, Pooh Bear.
Copy !req
895. I can't believe
you're so popular,
acting like this.
Copy !req
896. Hello?
Copy !req
897. Oh, I don't know.
I'll have to look.
Copy !req
898. Mr. Ryan, are you in here?
Copy !req
899. He's not. Mr. Ryan's
not in right now.
Copy !req
900. Where are you?
Copy !req
901. My Christmas present to you.
Copy !req
902. N о. Really. Serious.
Thank you.
Copy !req
903. See? See?
Copy !req
904. Thank you.
Copy !req
905. Now we're both on the pill.
Copy !req
906. You gave me
a birth control pill?
Copy !req
907. Do you have any idea
what that'll do to
a guy my age?
Copy !req
908. I know exactly what
it'll do to a girl my age.
Copy !req
909. First time in a car,
and then this shit.
Copy !req
910. It makes it okay to be
really super careless.
Copy !req
911. Wait, wait.
Copy !req
912. Look, we're not going any
further until you stop these
childish antics, Caroline.
Copy !req
913. Don't be such a poop.
Copy !req
914. On second thought.
Copy !req
915. СARОLINE: I love you.
Copy !req
916. This is getting good.
Copy !req
917. Ted, what the hell
are you doing?
Copy !req
918. Are those humongous
jocks back?
Copy !req
919. Cliff, do you have
any film in your camera?
Copy !req
920. What?
Copy !req
921. Take those ridiculous
things off.
Copy !req
922. Do you have any film
in your camera?
Sure.
Copy !req
923. Okay. You guys, go get it
and bring it outside, okay?
Copy !req
924. Right out front.
What for?
Copy !req
925. Look, just get it
and come on out front, okay?
Copy !req
926. UFO?
It's better.
Copy !req
927. Extraterrestrial?
It's better. All right?
Copy !req
928. Just get it and
come on outside.
Copy !req
929. Female extraterrestrial?
Copy !req
930. It's better, now...
Copy !req
931. Better than female
extraterrestrial?
Copy !req
932. How do you tell
if it's a female?
Copy !req
933. 'Cause it's got tits.
Copy !req
934. Well, what makes them
different than regular tits?
Copy !req
935. They got four.
Just get the camera.
It's in the closet.
Copy !req
936. No, don't go
in the closet.
Copy !req
937. They're such assholes.
I can't believe it.
Copy !req
938. you should check that оut.
Why do you always
have to argue?
Copy !req
939. I'm not arguing.
Yes, you are.
Copy !req
940. am not.
Yes, you are.
Copy !req
941. Every time I try
to do something,
am not.
Copy !req
942. it's always bitch,
bitch, bitch.
Bitch is a female dog.
Copy !req
943. Okay? Not even.
Copy !req
944. What's that supposed to mean?
Copy !req
945. Shit.
Shoot.
Copy !req
946. Ted, that's a Rolls-Royce.
Copy !req
947. Ted, that's the prom queen.
Copy !req
948. You got two girls
in one night.
Copy !req
949. I told you dudes I was hot.
Hot? Ted, you're a legend.
Copy !req
950. Wi11 you shut up?
Copy !req
951. People around here work,
all right?
Copy !req
952. Now, will you hurry it up?
I'm breaking, like,
30 major laws here.
Copy !req
953. Come on.
You know, Ted,
Copy !req
954. nobody's gonna believe you.
Copy !req
955. No way.
Copy !req
956. That, my friends,
is what the pictures
are for. Okay?
Copy !req
957. Just get that thing there.
Copy !req
958. All right, you guys ready?
Wait, hold on.
Copy !req
959. Just put it
down just a bit.
Copy !req
960. You guys know what
you're doing here,
or what?
Copy !req
961. All right,
just a minute.
Copy !req
962. How does this look?
Very nice.
Copy !req
963. Wait a minute, you know,
black-and-white, it would just
capture the moment so nicely.
Copy !req
964. Wouldn't it?
Copy !req
965. Will you take
the picture already?
Copy !req
966. You're pissing me off,
I'm telling you.
Copy !req
967. Smile, pumpkin.
What? Oh. Pictures.
Copy !req
968. Cheers.
Copy !req
969. Marlene, no. Marlene, no.
Copy !req
970. Chill out, boy.
Copy !req
971. Mike, honey,
go get dressed.
Copy !req
972. I can't believe it.
Ginny's not in the shower.
Copy !req
973. I wouldn't go in there
if I were you.
Copy !req
974. Grandpa Fred was in there
for a half an hour.
Copy !req
975. It's totally polluted.
Get dressed.
Copy !req
976. It's your nose.
Copy !req
977. They never listen.
Copy !req
978. What was he wearing?
Copy !req
979. Well, he would have...
Copy !req
980. He was wearing
a red argyle sweater
and tan trousers.
Copy !req
981. And red shoes.
Copy !req
982. No, he's not retarded.
Copy !req
983. Now, what can I
do to help?
Copy !req
984. Well, you could finish
the French toast.
Copy !req
985. Good.
Copy !req
986. I'll just open the donuts.
Copy !req
987. Good thinking.
Copy !req
988. Don't wanna
lose the nails.
Copy !req
989. I'll just wait till
I hear from you, then.
Copy !req
990. Voila. Breakfast is ready.
Copy !req
991. Oh, Sam.
Copy !req
992. Sam, I am so sorry
about your birthday.
Copy !req
993. It's okay. I'll recover.
Copy !req
994. It's important to you.
Copy !req
995. And yesterday morning,
you were trying to tell me.
Copy !req
996. It's okay, Mom.
Copy !req
997. These things
sometimes happen.
Copy !req
998. Oh. Honey,
I just feel miserable.
Copy !req
999. You'll feel better.
Copy !req
1000. Who died?
Copy !req
1001. Is there something
you want to say
to your sister?
Copy !req
1002. What? Are you kidding?
Where should I start?
Copy !req
1003. I mean about her birthday.
Copy !req
1004. It was yesterday.
We all forgot.
Copy !req
1005. Classic.
Copy !req
1006. Deep down,
he's really sorry.
Copy !req
1007. No, he's not
No, he's not.
Copy !req
1008. I have to go to this
wedding and look like
Miss Pretty Princess
Copy !req
1009. in this dipshit's
bridesmaid's dress.
Copy !req
1010. I don't even have one-tenth
of the bod to fill
the stupid bust up.
Copy !req
1011. So what? Should I just
waste myself and
spare the agony?
Copy !req
1012. I was gonna tell you
something, but maybe
I shouldn't.
Copy !req
1013. It's pretty bad.
Copy !req
1014. You may as well.
Nothing could shock me
anymore.
Copy !req
1015. Last night at the dance,
my little brother paid a buck
to see your underwear.
Copy !req
1016. I hate that rock 'n' roll
rubbish.
Copy !req
1017. Well, I'm afraid
it's here to stay,
Howie.
Copy !req
1018. Sam, you're dragging
your dress, honey. Pick it up.
Copy !req
1019. Come on, Ginny.
Hurry up, sweetie.
Copy !req
1020. Why is she so slow?
Copy !req
1021. Do not fuss at your sister.
It's her wedding day.
Copy !req
1022. Big deal.
Copy !req
1023. All right,
is everybody in?
Copy !req
1024. Oh, dear.
Are you all right, Ginny?
Copy !req
1025. Come on, everybody.
Copy !req
1026. Get in the car, please.
We're late already.
Copy !req
1027. Helen, will you get in
the car? I don't know
what they're fussing about.
Copy !req
1028. Helen, get in the car.
Copy !req
1029. Hey, Howard,
there's your Chinaman.
Copy !req
1030. Oh, thanks, Fred.
Bye, Dong.
Copy !req
1031. What the...
What's he doing on
the ground there?
Copy !req
1032. What's happened to him?
What's happened?
Copy !req
1033. Hold a mirror in
front of his mouth.
Copy !req
1034. Howard. He's dead!
Copy !req
1035. Oh, shit. I pay seven
grand for a wedding,
I'll never see it.
Copy !req
1036. Oh, watch your language,
Mr. Dirty Mouth.
Copy !req
1037. Oh, thank God,
he is still warm.
Oh, good.
Copy !req
1038. Here, help me
roll him over.
I'll help you.
Copy !req
1039. Gross.
Canine cologne.
Copy !req
1040. Oh, no more yankie my wankie.
Copy !req
1041. The Donger need food.
Copy !req
1042. Hell, he's three sheets
to the wind.
Copy !req
1043. He's drunk as a skunk.
Copy !req
1044. Oh, why don't you shut up,
Fred. Shut up.
Copy !req
1045. Dong.
Copy !req
1046. Dong.
Copy !req
1047. Dong, Grandpa
is talking to you.
Copy !req
1048. Dong. Where is
my automobile?
Copy !req
1049. Automobile?
Copy !req
1050. Lake. Big lake.
Copy !req
1051. Why, you little scuzzbag.
Copy !req
1052. Oh, my.
Is everything all right?
Copy !req
1053. I was afraid you'd
had an accident.
Copy !req
1054. wish.
Copy !req
1055. Her monthly bill
came early.
Copy !req
1056. Well, she's fine.
She just took
a muscle relaxer.
Copy !req
1057. Try four.
Copy !req
1058. You didn't.
Mother.
Copy !req
1059. Damn, Mom.
I've got my headgear on.
Copy !req
1060. Will you wake up?
Copy !req
1061. Where the hell am I?
Copy !req
1062. I'll tell you where you are
if you'll tell me who you are.
Copy !req
1063. Farmer Ted.
Copy !req
1064. You're in the parking lot
across the street
from my church.
Copy !req
1065. You own a church?
Copy !req
1066. What happened?
Copy !req
1067. have no idea.
Copy !req
1068. Did I do that to your hair?
Copy !req
1069. At this point,
anything is possible.
Copy !req
1070. Did...
Copy !req
1071. Did we...
Yeah.
Copy !req
1072. I'm pretty sure.
Copy !req
1073. Excuse me, but do you...
Copy !req
1074. Do you know if...
Did I enjoy it?
Copy !req
1075. What, am I nuts?
Of course I enjoyed it.
Copy !req
1076. I mean...
What I meant was,
Copy !req
1077. did you?
Copy !req
1078. You know, I have
this weird feeling I did.
Copy !req
1079. He re, Gin ny. Drink this.
Copy !req
1080. Come on.
Copy !req
1081. Here
Copy !req
1082. Wow.
Copy !req
1083. Do I feel funky.
Copy !req
1084. Okay. I'm coming.
Copy !req
1085. Hello? Geez,
this place is so confusing.
Copy !req
1086. Okay.
Copy !req
1087. Go away. I call FIB.
I call police.
Copy !req
1088. Go away.
Open the door.
Copy !req
1089. No way, Jose.
Open the door.
Copy !req
1090. You beat up my face.
Copy !req
1091. You grabbed my nuts.
Copy !req
1092. Was that you?
Yeah. That me.
Copy !req
1093. Oh, I'm so sorry.
Copy !req
1094. I thought you my new,
new-style American girlfriend.
Copy !req
1095. Forget it, man.
Just get Samantha,
all right?
Copy !req
1096. She not here.
Copy !req
1097. Don't jerk me around, man.
Where is she?
Copy !req
1098. She got married.
What?
Copy !req
1099. She at the church.
She getting married
to oily bohunk.
Copy !req
1100. Married.
Married?
Copy !req
1101. Yeah. Married.
Married?
Copy !req
1102. Married?
Copy !req
1103. Married! Geez.
Copy !req
1104. Are you gonna be
all right, sweetie?
Copy !req
1105. It's gonna be a piece
of cake, Bren.
Copy !req
1106. Ginny, I'm really
happy for you.
Copy !req
1107. I'm sorry for being
kind of a jerk lately.
Copy !req
1108. That's really lovely, Sam.
Copy !req
1109. I know you'll have
a great marriage.
Copy !req
1110. Ginny.
Copy !req
1111. Holy shit.
She just had a cramp.
Copy !req
1112. I don't care
what she's got.
Look at her.
Copy !req
1113. Will you please be quiet?
Copy !req
1114. We don't want to
announce to everyone
that she has her period.
Copy !req
1115. I guess those guys who thought
we had to get married
Copy !req
1116. feel pretty stupid right
about now, huh, padre?
Copy !req
1117. Here comes the bride
Copy !req
1118. Big, fat and wide
Copy !req
1119. Love the teapot.
Copy !req
1120. Could you move over?
Copy !req
1121. Are you okay?
You all right?
I gotta rest.
Copy !req
1122. Come on. Here we go.
What's the matter?
Copy !req
1123. Here comes the bride.
Copy !req
1124. Here we go.
Okay. Come on.
Copy !req
1125. Sorry.
Copy !req
1126. I got it. I got it.
Copy !req
1127. Hi.
Copy !req
1128. I know you.
Copy !req
1129. Can't see wjth this thing on.
Copy !req
1130. I never went out
with a freshman.
Copy !req
1131. Not even when
I was a freshman.
Copy !req
1132. Me, either.
Copy !req
1133. You were pretty crazy.
Copy !req
1134. I was?
Yeah.
Copy !req
1135. But you know
what I like best?
Copy !req
1136. My clean, close shave?
No.
Copy !req
1137. Waking up in your arms.
Copy !req
1138. These things?
Copy !req
1139. Shit.
Copy !req
1140. Jake.
Copy !req
1141. Jake.
Copy !req
1142. Holy shit.
Copy !req
1143. Stay here, okay?
Oh, my God.
Copy !req
1144. I'm dead.
Copy !req
1145. Hello?
Ted.
You never called us back.
Copy !req
1146. What happened?
Copy !req
1147. Look, Wease. I told you
not to call me here.
Copy !req
1148. Ted, we're dying.
What happened?
Copy !req
1149. You wanna know
what happened?
Copy !req
1150. Buy the book.
Ted.
Copy !req
1151. I'm really sorry about
getting you mixed up
with that guy.
Copy !req
1152. Oh, it's okay.
Copy !req
1153. It wasn't too terrible.
Copy !req
1154. Weird?
Copy !req
1155. I'm really sorry
about last night.
Copy !req
1156. The party.
Copy !req
1157. Lots of things.
Copy !req
1158. You know, neither one
of us is gonna die
Copy !req
1159. if it doesn't happen for us.
Copy !req
1160. That's true.
Copy !req
1161. I just don't know
right now.
Copy !req
1162. But I'm covered, okay?
I won't get hurt.
Copy !req
1163. Sure.
Copy !req
1164. I'll leave it up to you.
Copy !req
1165. Fine.
Copy !req
1166. Oh, my God.
Her veil.
Copy !req
1167. Come on, honey.
Copy !req
1168. Honey.
Let's go!
Copy !req
1169. Come on. Here we go.
Copy !req
1170. Get her in
the back seat, Rudу.
Copy !req
1171. Bon voyage!
Copy !req
1172. See you later.
Bye.
Copy !req
1173. Good-bye.
So long,
kids.
Copy !req
1174. Oh, hi. My sister
forgot her veil.
Copy !req
1175. I know she wouldn't want
anything to happen to it.
She's...
Copy !req
1176. She's a little out of it.
Copy !req
1177. Just a little bit.
Copy !req
1178. Yeah. Well, excuse me.
Copy !req
1179. Everybody's waiting for me.
I wanna make sure
I see my sister leave.
Copy !req
1180. Good-bye.
Copy !req
1181. Bye.
Copy !req
1182. Oh, I need a drink.
Copy !req
1183. Me?
Copy !req
1184. Yeah, you.
Copy !req
1185. Hi.
Hi.
Copy !req
1186. Hi.
Hi.
Copy !req
1187. What are you doing here?
Copy !req
1188. I heard you were here.
Copy !req
1189. You came here for me?
Copy !req
1190. Is that okay?
Copy !req
1191. Yeah, it's okay.
Copy !req
1192. Do you have to go
to the reception now?
Copy !req
1193. I'm supposed to.
Copy !req
1194. Can I call you later?
Copy !req
1195. Sure.
Copy !req
1196. I mean, no.
Copy !req
1197. No, I can't call you later?
Copy !req
1198. Yeah.
Copy !req
1199. No, I mean I'm not going
to the reception.
Copy !req
1200. Oh. Great.
Copy !req
1201. That's the boy!
Copy !req
1202. Thanks for getting
my undies back.
Copy !req
1203. Thanks for coming over.
Copy !req
1204. Thanks for coming
to get me.
Copy !req
1205. Happy birthday, Samantha.
Copy !req
1206. Make a wish.
Copy !req
1207. It already came true.
Copy !req