1. It looks good.Copy !req
2. On the northwest toll, eastbound traffic
is moving nicely this morning...Copy !req
3. From Beecham Road
down to River Road.Copy !req
4. Westbound, there's now a 20-car
backup at the Devon Avenue toll.Copy !req
5. And on the northbound I-290
extension at Thorndale Avenue,Copy !req
6. we had a spinout there.Copy !req
7. And that car was blocking
the right-hand Lane...Copy !req
8. And also blocking the Lane
that's coming off of the, uh,Copy !req
9. eastbound Thorndale
Avenue entrance ramp...Copy !req
10. Leading to the northbound,
uh, I-290 extension.Copy !req
11. This was causing a backup to Irving park.
We have...Copy !req
12. Come on, chop-chop. We got
relatives invading this afternoon.Copy !req
13. Ginny, Mike, Sara, Sam! Come on.
Everybody up!Copy !req
14. Oh, I think I have a fever.Copy !req
15. You don't have a fever.Copy !req
16. Shut your face. Make me.Copy !req
17. Dad, Mike hit me!Copy !req
18. You liar. Mike, come on, pal.
We got a wedding tomorrow.Copy !req
19. Try to cooperate, will you?
Dad, I didn't hit her.Copy !req
20. I'd like to very much, and I probably
will later, but give me a break.Copy !req
21. You know my method. I don't hit her
when you're just down the hall.Copy !req
22. Pick on someone your own size.Copy !req
23. Open this door.Copy !req
24. Daddy, I'm the one
getting married.Copy !req
25. Not until tomorrow. I've got
a mouthful of toothpaste.Copy !req
26. I happen to have a
serious problem.Copy !req
27. Dad.Copy !req
28. She got her period. Should make for
an interesting honeymoon, huh?Copy !req
29. - Where are you learning that stuff?
- School.Copy !req
30. Good. Getting my money's worth.Copy !req
31. They were fantastic. Just great.
What a great crowd.Copy !req
32. And it was so much fun...Copy !req
33. Chronologically,
you're 16 today.Copy !req
34. Physically,Copy !req
35. you're still 15.Copy !req
36. Hopeless.Copy !req
37. Nope. I look exactly the
same as I have since summer.Copy !req
38. Utterly forgettable.Copy !req
39. No, I didn't expect to
wake up transformed.Copy !req
40. I just thought that turning
16 would be so major...Copy !req
41. That I'd wake up with an improved mental
state that would show on my face.Copy !req
42. All it shows is that I don't
have any sort of a tan left.Copy !req
43. I better get downstairs.Copy !req
44. My family's probably pissed off I haven't
let them wish me Happy Birthday yet.Copy !req
45. All right. I'll see
you at school.Copy !req
46. You need four inches of
bod and a great birthday.Copy !req
47. Where's my briefcase?
Where'd you leave it?Copy !req
48. Don't be a smart-ass.
Okay, I'll be a dumb-ass.Copy !req
49. You already are.Copy !req
50. Okay, where's Sam?
Where's my briefcase?Copy !req
51. Sam? Allow me, Brenda.
Hey, birth defect!Copy !req
52. You missed breakfast again.Copy !req
53. It wasn't my idea to give
her her own phone line.Copy !req
54. Grab a doughnut.Copy !req
55. It's small. It's brown.
It's made of leather.Copy !req
56. It has my initials on it.
And I believe... that's it.Copy !req
57. Don't forget the grandparents
are coming this afternoon.Copy !req
58. Are we still having dinner
with the rice chex?Copy !req
59. Rizczechs. 8:00 at the club.Copy !req
60. You'd better learn their names.
As of tomorrow, they're family.Copy !req
61. That's a lovely thought. Hmm.Copy !req
62. When it comes your turn to get
married, do me a favor. Elope.Copy !req
63. Who'd marry her? Mr. T.Copy !req
64. I'm sorry, you'll have to buy lunch today.
I didn't have time to fix your carrots.Copy !req
65. She's only eating carrots to
increase the size of her breasts.Copy !req
66. Mister, you had better shape up, or
you will miss your sister's wedding.Copy !req
67. Promise?Copy !req
68. Now, don't give me that
pouty look of yours.Copy !req
69. You can eat your carrots
when you get home.Copy !req
70. That's it? You don't have
anything else to say to me today?Copy !req
71. What would you like
me to say, Sam?Copy !req
72. Come on now, honey. You're
going to miss the bus.Copy !req
73. Have a good day.Copy !req
74. I can't believe this.Copy !req
75. They fucking forgot my birthday.Copy !req
76. I'm sure they didn't
forget your birthday.Copy !req
77. They just didn't remember it right away.
Same difference.Copy !req
78. It's a drag your sweet 16's the
day before Ginny gets married.Copy !req
79. But big deal. They'll remember.
Oh, easy for you to say.Copy !req
80. Did anyone ever forget your birthday?
Come on, Sam.Copy !req
81. Everything's getting shittier.
My familyCopy !req
82. forgetting my birthday
just makes it more vivid.Copy !req
83. What do you expect, a
breakfast birthday party?Copy !req
84. No, but they could have
at least said "happy"Copy !req
85. "birthday." It was just
like any other day.Copy !req
86. Why don't you remind them?Copy !req
87. They'll feel some massive guilt.
It could be highly profitable.Copy !req
88. I wouldn't stoop to remind them.Copy !req
89. Since I was about 12, I've been
looking forward to my sweet 16.Copy !req
90. You know, a big party and a band,
with tons of people. Tons of people.Copy !req
91. And a big trans am in the
driveway with a ribbon around it.Copy !req
92. And some incredibly gorgeous
guy that you meet in France.Copy !req
93. And you do it on a cloud without
getting pregnant or herpes.Copy !req
94. I don't need the cloud. Just a
pink trans am and the guy, right?Copy !req
95. A black one. A black guy?Copy !req
96. A black trans am. A pink guy.Copy !req
97. Oh, no.Copy !req
98. You swear to God, you don't have it?
I don't know anything about it.Copy !req
99. Jennifer woods gave me a sex
test during child development.Copy !req
100. And I was supposed to do it and pass
it to you in independent study.Copy !req
101. I'm totally screwed. Did
you put your name on it?Copy !req
102. Hi. No, but it was
really embarrassing.Copy !req
103. I had to name who I'd do
it with if I ever did it.Copy !req
104. Who'd you name?Copy !req
105. Jake Ryan. Jake Ryan? He
doesn't even know you exist.Copy !req
106. Thank you. That's a
very nice thing to say.Copy !req
107. I'm sorry. But Jake Ryan?Copy !req
108. He's a senior, and he's taken.
I mean, really taken.Copy !req
109. I know. It was supposed
to be my ideal.Copy !req
110. He's ideal, for sure,
but forget it.Copy !req
111. God, I hope whoever got the note
doesn't know it was me who wrote it.Copy !req
112. I'd shit twice and die.Copy !req
113. Do you know Samantha Baker?Copy !req
114. Sophomore, right?Copy !req
115. Yeah. What do you think of her?Copy !req
116. I don't.Copy !req
117. Would you ever go out with her?Copy !req
118. Depends on how much you paid me.Copy !req
119. She's not ugly.Copy !req
120. There's nothing there, man.Copy !req
121. It's not ugly. It's just...
Void.Copy !req
122. You know what I mean? There's
something about her.Copy !req
123. I do independent study with her.
I catch her looking at me a lot.Copy !req
124. It's kind of cool, the way
she's always looking at me.Copy !req
125. Maybe she's retarded.Copy !req
126. I'm being serious, okay?Copy !req
127. She looks at me like
she's in love with me.Copy !req
128. Jake, she's a child.Copy !req
129. So? So what're you
going to do with her?Copy !req
130. She's obviously too
young to party serious.Copy !req
131. Maybe I'm interested
in more than a party.Copy !req
132. Come on, Jake. You talk
like you're hard up.Copy !req
133. You got Caroline.
Now she's a woman.Copy !req
134. It's unbelievable.Copy !req
135. I swear to God, Caroline mulford
had to flunk about nine grades.Copy !req
136. Truly makes me ill.Copy !req
137. She's perfect.Copy !req
138. Practically impossible to cut up.
She's supposedly real sweet.Copy !req
139. Brother's deaf, and everybody
in the world worships her.Copy !req
140. And she's going with Jake.Copy !req
141. Oh, I'm going to kill myself.Copy !req
142. My man.Copy !req
143. I loathe the bus.Copy !req
144. There has to be a more dignified
mode of transportation.Copy !req
145. I hope you get a car for your
birthday, and a license.Copy !req
146. Let's not hold our breath.Copy !req
147. Score... a direct hit.Copy !req
148. On second thought.Copy !req
149. Move it!Copy !req
150. Call me, okay? You call me first.
Tell me what happened at home.Copy !req
151. I can tell you right now.
Nothing.Copy !req
152. Will you quit feeling sorry for yourself?
It's bad for your complexion!Copy !req
153. How's it going?Copy !req
154. How's what going?Copy !req
155. You know, things, life, whatnot.Copy !req
156. Life is not whatnot, and
it's none of your business.Copy !req
157. Hmm. So you going to the new
faces dance tonight, or...Copy !req
158. That's also none
of your business.Copy !req
159. Are you inhibited about
dancing in public?Copy !req
160. I mean, you don't have to dance.Copy !req
161. Maybe you could just stand there with me
and my dudes and just be you, and...Copy !req
162. Sounds major.Copy !req
163. So, I mean, what's the story?
I mean, you got a guy, or...Copy !req
164. Yes, three big ones, and
they lust wimp blood.Copy !req
165. So quit bugging me, or I'll stick
them all over your weenie ass.Copy !req
166. You know, I'm getting input here that
I'm reading as relatively hostile.Copy !req
167. I mean, it's just...
- Go to hell.Copy !req
168. Very hostile!Copy !req
169. Come on, what's the problem here?
I'm a boy, you're a girl.Copy !req
170. Is there anything wrong with me
trying to put together some kind of...Copy !req
171. relationship between us?Copy !req
172. Look, I know you have to go.
Just answer one question.Copy !req
173. Yes, you're a total fag.Copy !req
174. That's not the question.Copy !req
175. Am I turning you on?Copy !req
176. It's encouraging.Copy !req
177. Very encouraging.
- Yeah, uh-huh.Copy !req
178. You know, a girl with
a hat is just so...Copy !req
179. whew... vogue!Copy !req
180. Uh, y-yeah.Copy !req
181. Where are my blue
socks, Dorothy?Copy !req
182. You mean you didn't pack them?
Oh, not again, Howard.Copy !req
183. Can't I trust you
to do anything?Copy !req
184. Do you expect me to
do all the packing?Copy !req
185. Well, at least I brought
this for you. It...Copy !req
186. Sam! Samantha.Copy !req
187. Look. Oh, look.Copy !req
188. - Hi!
- Hi!Copy !req
189. Oh, God.Copy !req
190. Oh, sweetheart!Copy !req
191. My goodness, are you a
sight for sore eyes.Copy !req
192. Oh, good!Copy !req
193. Just look. How are you, my
little lamb chop? Hello!Copy !req
194. I'm fine, grandpa.Copy !req
195. How are you guys?Copy !req
196. Oh, pretty good. Of course,
I get lower back pain.Copy !req
197. Oh, my corns are killing me. My arthritis
in my fingers bothers me quite a bit...Copy !req
198. So are you, uh... you're
sleeping up here?Copy !req
199. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
200. Your grandfather Fred jumped
our claim on Sara's room.Copy !req
201. So here we are up here.Copy !req
202. Well, I haven't seen you in a while.
Do I look any older today?Copy !req
203. Oh, no, no. I wouldn't say so.
Do you think so?Copy !req
204. No. Oh, I hope it
isn't cold tomorrow.Copy !req
205. You know Ginny.Copy !req
206. It's not going to be cold. She'll refuse
to wear a coat over her wedding dress.Copy !req
207. If she does, you mustn't bug her...
I'm not going to bug her...Copy !req
208. I'm going to go set
myself up in Mike's room.Copy !req
209. So I'll see you guys later.Copy !req
210. - Okay, sweetheart.
- Look, there she goes.Copy !req
211. Your grandpa and I are looking forward
to a nice, long visit with you.Copy !req
212. Aces. We certainly are.Copy !req
213. See you a little later, darling.
We've got a lot to...Copy !req
214. I swear to God, this
has got to be a joke.Copy !req
215. Grandparents
forgetting a birthday?Copy !req
216. They live for that shit.Copy !req
217. Well, well, if it
isn't Sammy Baker...Copy !req
218. Davis, junior.Copy !req
219. Hi, grandpa. Oh, I've
got one for you.Copy !req
220. Knock, knock. Who's there?Copy !req
221. Who. Who, who?Copy !req
222. Helen, we've got an owl
out here in the hall.Copy !req
223. Oh, Fred, Fred, leave her alone.Copy !req
224. You'll make her tinkle.
Oh, come on, Helen.Copy !req
225. Oh, Sam, let me look at you.Copy !req
226. Oh.Copy !req
227. Fred, she's gotten her boobies.Copy !req
228. I'd better go get my
magnifying glass.Copy !req
229. Oh, and they are so perky!Copy !req
230. I can't believe my grandmother
actually felt me up.Copy !req
231. What's happening, hot stuff?Copy !req
232. His name is Long Duk Dong.Copy !req
233. What? Long Duk Dong.Copy !req
234. He came down with grandma
and grandpa Baker.Copy !req
235. He's an exchange student
that's living with them.Copy !req
236. Yeah, well, he's totally bizarre.
He is not.Copy !req
237. He is a very sweet boy.Copy !req
238. I just hope you burn the sheets
and mattresses after he leaves.Copy !req
239. I don't suppose it makes
any difference to you,Copy !req
240. but there's a very weird
Chinese guy up in Mike's room.Copy !req
241. Ginny dumped Rudy.
He's her new fiancée.Copy !req
242. Mike, stop it.Copy !req
243. Sam, honey, do you think you could
help the grandmothers with supper?Copy !req
244. Dad and I have to go to the club
for dinner with the rice chex.Copy !req
245. Rizczechs. Oh. Rizczechs.Copy !req
246. Uh, do you think that
there's any reason...Copy !req
247. That I should possibly
stay home tonight?Copy !req
248. Well, it might be nice
if you'd visit...Copy !req
249. With your grandparents
and Long Duk Dong.Copy !req
250. Who?Copy !req
251. The weird Chinese guy in Mike's room.
- Oh.Copy !req
252. - I think I have a dance to go to.
- Well, that's okay.Copy !req
253. Oh, can you remember to turn
off the stove in 20 minutes?Copy !req
254. I can remember lots of things.Copy !req
255. This is the single worst
day of my entire life.Copy !req
256. What the hell are
you bitching about?Copy !req
257. I got to sleep under some chinaman
named after a duck's dork.Copy !req
258. Well, where am I sleeping?Copy !req
259. Sofa city, sweetheart.Copy !req
260. Do you think grandpa Fred's
going to embarrass me?Copy !req
261. I don't know why not. He
does to everyone else.Copy !req
262. He already asked me if Rudy
was the oily variety bohunk.Copy !req
263. Is he? Don't be cute.Copy !req
264. I really love Rudy.Copy !req
265. And he is totally
enamored of me.Copy !req
266. I mean, I've had men
who've loved me before,Copy !req
267. but not for six months in a row.Copy !req
268. I think I'm in love.Copy !req
269. So how long have you
been in love, hmm?Copy !req
270. Well, it hasn't
really happened yet.Copy !req
271. So what's the deal?Copy !req
272. I'm not sure that
he knows I exist.Copy !req
273. Sam, I really don't
have time for this.Copy !req
274. Well, I'm sorry.Copy !req
275. I always listen to you talk
about your boyfriends.Copy !req
276. Darling, is something
bothering you?Copy !req
277. You're really acting like...
An asshole.Copy !req
278. And I think I know what it is.Copy !req
279. I think you're jealous that
I'm getting married...Copy !req
280. And that I'm getting all
the attention, hmm?Copy !req
281. You know, everybody
in this family...Copy !req
282. Has just gone totally
outer limits.Copy !req
283. No, Sam.Copy !req
284. I think you're just being a
little selfish and immature.Copy !req
285. Oh, yes. That's it.Copy !req
286. That's exactly it.Copy !req
287. Unbelievable.Copy !req
288. You make someone a bridesmaid,
and they shit all over you.Copy !req
289. Very clever dinner.Copy !req
290. Appetizing food fit neatly
into interesting round pie.Copy !req
291. - It's a quiche.
- Hmm. How do you spell?Copy !req
292. Well, you don't spell it, son.
You eat it.Copy !req
293. Dong has only been in our
country a short time, Fred.Copy !req
294. I think we could all
help him assimilate. Oh.Copy !req
295. Long Duk Dong is
about your age, Sam.Copy !req
296. You two should have a
lot to chat about.Copy !req
297. I love, uh, visiting with
grandma and grandpa...Copy !req
298. And writing letters
to parents...Copy !req
299. And pushing lawn-mowing
machine...Copy !req
300. So grandpa's hyena
don't get disturbed.Copy !req
301. Hernia!Copy !req
302. Oh, yes, yes, yes, indeedy.Copy !req
303. He does the dishes and helps
with the laundry. You betcha.Copy !req
304. May I be excused?Copy !req
305. Where are you going?Copy !req
306. I have a dance to go to...
At school.Copy !req
307. It's a very important dance.Copy !req
308. Uh, we're being graded on it...
For gym.Copy !req
309. Wait a minute. I have
a wonderful idea.Copy !req
310. Would you like to go
to the dance with Sam?Copy !req
311. I wonder if Jake's here.Copy !req
312. I don't think it's healthy to get jacked
about some guy that isn't a thing yet.Copy !req
313. Yeah, when you don't have anything, you
don't have anything to lose, right?Copy !req
314. That's a cheerful thought.Copy !req
315. Let's go make
ourselves available.Copy !req
316. That's the one, dude.
Scope it out.Copy !req
317. She doesn't look like a freshman.
Sophomore, dude. Sophomore.Copy !req
318. Fully aged sophomore meat.Copy !req
319. We do the bus together.
You talk to her?Copy !req
320. Talk? Dude, I have a
relationship with her. Get out.Copy !req
321. Figure to, like, 17 digits.Copy !req
322. You are such a liar.Copy !req
323. We'll see about that, my man.Copy !req
324. By night's end, I predict
me and her will interface.Copy !req
325. Check it out, wease.Copy !req
326. Pretty intense, huh? Over.
To the Max. Over.Copy !req
327. All right.Copy !req
328. I knew you'd come around.Copy !req
329. Whoa. Christ.Copy !req
330. Crank that, sister!Copy !req
331. Very hot. Very hot.Copy !req
332. This night... this
night is happening.Copy !req
333. I'm blowing your mind, aren't I?Copy !req
334. I'm just getting warmed up.Copy !req
335. Ow. Excuse me.Copy !req
336. Way to go, dick-face.
She took off.Copy !req
337. Don't spaz out. Okay, wease?
The situation'll come on-line.Copy !req
338. Yeah? I'll bet you a dozen floppy
disks you don't even get tit.Copy !req
339. You got a bet, scumbag.
I'll get it all.Copy !req
340. Take off. You wouldn't be
able to prove it anyway.Copy !req
341. A, don't hit me.Copy !req
342. Secondly, what kind
of proof do you want?Copy !req
343. Video. Video.Copy !req
344. No way. I can just see the thing
getting duped a thousand times...Copy !req
345. And winding up on
cable somewhere.Copy !req
346. Try again.Copy !req
347. Underpants. Underpants.Copy !req
348. No problem, butt-lick.Copy !req
349. Girl's underpants.Copy !req
350. So what's your name?Copy !req
351. Dong.Copy !req
352. What's your first name?Copy !req
353. Long.Copy !req
354. What's your middle name?Copy !req
355. Duk.Copy !req
356. I bet all the boys chase you
plenty in the school, huh?Copy !req
357. Nobody's caught me yet.Copy !req
358. Hmm. I betcha you
big teaser, huh?Copy !req
359. No. I run the 40 in five flat.Copy !req
360. Flat?Copy !req
361. Hey. Oh, I'm really sorry, man.Copy !req
362. Whatever I did was an accid...
I-I-I didn't mean to...Copy !req
363. Relax.Copy !req
364. You... you were
dancing with a girl?Copy !req
365. Oh, man, I'm really...
I'm really sorry, man.Copy !req
366. I must've been on drugs five minutes ago.
Do you know her?Copy !req
367. She grabbed me, guy. I'm totally innocent.
Is she yours?Copy !req
368. What do you know about her?Copy !req
369. She has smallish tits.
Decent voice.Copy !req
370. Smells pretty good.
She drives me crazy.Copy !req
371. Did she come here with you?Copy !req
372. No, no. But if it's okay with my
dad, she's going home with me.Copy !req
373. Excuse me.Copy !req
374. Do you guys want to
blow off this dance?Copy !req
375. Yes. I am bored to the
brink of insanity.Copy !req
376. And go where? Jake's parent's aren't home.
We can do his house.Copy !req
377. - How's it going?
- Fine.Copy !req
378. Let's party light. Jake's paranoid
about his house getting trashed.Copy !req
379. Again!Copy !req
380. Oof!Copy !req
381. Okay.Copy !req
382. All right.Copy !req
383. Just trying to get a
little bit of water.Copy !req
384. Yeah.Copy !req
385. Yes, I'm back.Copy !req
386. So I smell.Copy !req
387. It's my shaving cream.Copy !req
388. You want to feel a real clean,
close shave? I'll pass.Copy !req
389. Couldn't find anyone
else to bug, huh?Copy !req
390. Come on. You know you're the
one I want to bug, huh?Copy !req
391. This is my friend, Randy.
And that's Jimmy Montrose.Copy !req
392. Howdy, dude. This
is farmer Fred.Copy !req
393. Ted. Oh, I'm sorry.
This is farmer Ted.Copy !req
394. I'm not really a farmer.
I'm a freshman.Copy !req
395. Geek, can I be honest with you?Copy !req
396. Not if you're going
to insult me.Copy !req
397. Okay.Copy !req
398. Shoot.Copy !req
399. - Get the hell out of here.
- Nice! Nice manners, babe!Copy !req
400. She's totally serious, ass-wipe.Copy !req
401. Chill.Copy !req
402. You want to split with me? I...Copy !req
403. I don't know. You know, my
mom, I can't handle this.Copy !req
404. She tells me, "you want something,
you got to ask for it."Copy !req
405. I mean, I'm not the
kind of guy...Copy !req
406. It's embarrassing for me.
I don't know. I just...Copy !req
407. It's just...Copy !req
408. I'm really sorry about
what happened in the gym.Copy !req
409. I-I had no idea you
couldn't dance.Copy !req
410. What a decent night, huh?
It's my birthday.Copy !req
411. Don't do that, okay?Copy !req
412. I mean, it's really been a
shitty birthday for me.Copy !req
413. No offence, but I don't
need a serenade right how.Copy !req
414. What's wrong? You didn't
get anything good, or...Copy !req
415. I didn't get shit. Not
even a "Happy Birthday."Copy !req
416. My whole family just
sort of blew it off.Copy !req
417. I'd freak if my family forgot my birthday.
It's a brand-new year.Copy !req
418. I'm 16. Everything
should be platinum.Copy !req
419. I should be happy, right?
Right? Yeah.Copy !req
420. Well, I can't get happy.Copy !req
421. It is physically impossible
for me to get happy.Copy !req
422. Would you feel better if you
knew one of my secrets, or...Copy !req
423. Don't gross me out.Copy !req
424. No, we're not
talking gross here.Copy !req
425. No. It's... it's
just embarrassing.Copy !req
426. This information cannot
leave this room, okay?Copy !req
427. It would devastate my
reputation as a dude.Copy !req
428. No problem.Copy !req
429. I've never bagged a babe.Copy !req
430. I'm not a stud.Copy !req
431. I got the rep in sixth grade.Copy !req
432. And it, like, it stuck with me.Copy !req
433. I'm still on hold.Copy !req
434. Look, I'd appreciate you
not laughing here, okay?Copy !req
435. I'm sorry.Copy !req
436. That's not what I meant.Copy !req
437. I meant...Copy !req
438. Hey, time out, junior.Copy !req
439. Pardon me.Copy !req
440. It's okay.Copy !req
441. I meant that it's okay
that you did it once,Copy !req
442. but I didn't mean for
you to do it again!Copy !req
443. I'm sorry.Copy !req
444. Sorry.Copy !req
445. You know, just now I really
felt how much you like me.Copy !req
446. You're probably zoning in on
my brain waves or something.Copy !req
447. Well, not really. I
felt it on my leg.Copy !req
448. Come on. I don't want to see it!Copy !req
449. Oh.Copy !req
450. Sorry if I embarrassed you.Copy !req
451. I'm not embarrassed.Copy !req
452. Fresh breath's a
priority in my life.Copy !req
453. I don't want to
hurt your feelings,Copy !req
454. 'cause it's really human of
you to listen to my bullshit.Copy !req
455. I care about it, really.
I mean...Copy !req
456. I know I came on kind of like a poozer
on the bus tonight and everything.Copy !req
457. But that's just so my friends won't
think, you know, I'm a jerk.Copy !req
458. But they're all pretty much
jerks, though, aren't they?Copy !req
459. Yeah, but the thing is, I'm
kind of like the leader.Copy !req
460. Kind of like the king
of the dipshits.Copy !req
461. Well, that's pretty cool. Hey, but
a lot can happen over a year.Copy !req
462. I mean, you could come back next
fall as a completely normal person.Copy !req
463. Yeah? Sure.Copy !req
464. Would it be totally
off the wall if...Copy !req
465. If I asked if I could
have sex with you?Copy !req
466. Yeah, well, you asking me is not
as off the wall as why I won't.Copy !req
467. - V.D.?
- No.Copy !req
468. I'm sort of saving myself.Copy !req
469. It's really stupid. He
doesn't even know I exist.Copy !req
470. Who?Copy !req
471. Who?Copy !req
472. Jake Ryan.Copy !req
473. You like Jake?Copy !req
474. Ja... Jake's my boy!Copy !req
475. I just talked to
Jake in the gym.Copy !req
476. He asked me about you. Did not!Copy !req
477. He did too. He did! He asked
me what you were like.Copy !req
478. Oh, my... oh! If you're lying, I'll beat
the crap out of you. I'm not lying.Copy !req
479. Oh, my God! What should I do?
Should I go up to him?Copy !req
480. Should I say, "hi, Jake, I'm Samantha"?
Maybe I should let him come to me.Copy !req
481. This is not my department. But what if
I let him come to me, and he forgets?Copy !req
482. What if he changes his mind?
Then I'm totally screwed, right?Copy !req
483. Apparently so.Copy !req
484. What would you do
if you were me?Copy !req
485. I'm a gambling man by nature.Copy !req
486. And, um, I'd go for it.Copy !req
487. This is so strange. But I think I will.
Oh, you're the best.Copy !req
488. - Wait, um...
- What?Copy !req
489. Do you know anything
about floppy disks?Copy !req
490. We'll talk about this on the bus, okay?
The thing is, I've got a problem.Copy !req
491. Floppy disks are
pretty expensive.Copy !req
492. I made a bet with my friends, the...
The dipshits.Copy !req
493. Um,Copy !req
494. I bet them that I'd
do it with you.Copy !req
495. This was before I knew you. I can
get proof without getting physical.Copy !req
496. How?Copy !req
497. Can I borrow your
underpants for ten minutes?Copy !req
498. I think it's time to blow this thing
off and go to your house. Yeah?Copy !req
499. I told Tracy and Robin and those guys
to come to your parents' house, okay?Copy !req
500. I told them not to tell anybody.Copy !req
501. God, I love it when your
parents are out of town,Copy !req
502. I fantasize that I'm your wife,Copy !req
503. and we're the richest, most
popular adults in town.Copy !req
504. I owe all my great
weekends to you.Copy !req
505. What's your problem? What?Copy !req
506. You've been acting weird all night.
Are you screwing around?Copy !req
507. Me? Are you crazy?Copy !req
508. I don't know, Jake.Copy !req
509. I'm getting strange signals. Well,
they're not coming from me.Copy !req
510. Everything's fine.
Don't have a cow.Copy !req
511. Okay.Copy !req
512. Just remember one thing.Copy !req
513. I can name 20 guys
who'd kill to love me.Copy !req
514. Is that a threat?
It's a fact, Jake.Copy !req
515. Come on. Before we get in a big, wicked
fight, let's get out of here, huh?Copy !req
516. Hi, Jake. I'm Samantha.
How's it going?Copy !req
517. Do you got a cigarette?Copy !req
518. Jake, this may sound
incredibly dumb,Copy !req
519. but I love you, and I'll do
anything to make you love me.Copy !req
520. I love your shirt.Copy !req
521. Jake, you're not going
to believe this,Copy !req
522. but I had this very bizarre
dream, and you were in it.Copy !req
523. For heaven's sake! Get
in there and dance!Copy !req
524. I can't. They won't like me! I'm
not going to tell you again!Copy !req
525. Just act like a man! I want to go home!
I want to be with you guys!Copy !req
526. I can't believe I'm such a jerk.Copy !req
527. He smiles at me, and I
don't say anything.Copy !req
528. And I can't believe I gave
my panties to a geek.Copy !req
529. What year are you? Freshman.Copy !req
530. Give me a buck.Copy !req
531. Get in.Copy !req
532. Shut up!Copy !req
533. Bryce?Copy !req
534. Ted, go for it.Copy !req
535. Hey, uh, listen, uh,Copy !req
536. I want to thank you for,
uh, loaning me the donger.Copy !req
537. He's really bitching.Copy !req
538. That's okay. You guys
make a great couple.Copy !req
539. I never been so happy in my whole life.
You maniac!Copy !req
540. Now I have a place to put my hand.
Mmm.Copy !req
541. So basically, Jimmy, my
business is video game arcades,Copy !req
542. laundry, cigarette machines...Copy !req
543. And trucking.Copy !req
544. I dabble a little bit in
personal loans and politics.Copy !req
545. Very nice.Copy !req
546. I think that all that really matters
is that the kids are happy together.Copy !req
547. Just as long as my
beautiful boy remembers...Copy !req
548. That marrying this one means he's
out of the girl of the month club.Copy !req
549. Hey, wait a minute.
I can still look.Copy !req
550. I just can't touch. Right?Copy !req
551. Oh, sensitive, uh? Rudy!Copy !req
552. - Cheers.
- Right on.Copy !req
553. Ahh! You do shots?Copy !req
554. Come on, wolf it.Copy !req
555. Whoo!Copy !req
556. Uh, good night, Marlene.
See you later, Dong.Copy !req
557. Sammy, tell grandpa not to wait up.
Let's go boogie.Copy !req
558. Sure.Copy !req
559. Donger's here for five hours,
and he's got somebody.Copy !req
560. I live here my whole life,
and I'm like a disease.Copy !req
561. Everybody,Copy !req
562. I'd like you to meet
my boyfriend Jake.Copy !req
563. Jake, this is... everybody.Copy !req
564. Take it off.Copy !req
565. All right, whose is this?Copy !req
566. You're such a poop.Copy !req
567. Woof!Copy !req
568. Oh, no. Easy, easy, easy.Copy !req
569. Shit, Ted, that's my mom.
I got to get home.Copy !req
570. Change your frequency.
Don't be such a wimp!Copy !req
571. Take those ridiculous
things off, okay?Copy !req
572. Will you guys grow up?Copy !req
573. Ted, won't we get pounded
if we go to a senior party?Copy !req
574. Wease, we got $70, and we got
a pair of girl's underpants.Copy !req
575. We're safe as kittens. Okay?Copy !req
576. This is a great social
opportunity for us.Copy !req
577. Come on!Copy !req
578. Do not embarrass me, okay?
For sure, we won't.Copy !req
579. Will you fix your hair, Bryce?
I already did.Copy !req
580. Wease, close your
barn, all right?Copy !req
581. And be polite to his parents.
Okay. Great.Copy !req
582. Hey, come on in and party
hearty, dude persons.Copy !req
583. He's from out of town, okay?
He speaks English, right?Copy !req
584. Don't be such faggots!
Man, shut up.Copy !req
585. Kidding. Sorry.Copy !req
586. Think we're going to die?Copy !req
587. Definitely.Copy !req
588. Did you put the cat out?Copy !req
589. We don't have a cat.Copy !req
590. Come on, damn it. Answer.Copy !req
591. Mmm.Copy !req
592. Aw, eat me.Copy !req
593. Who is it?Copy !req
594. Well, what did they want?Copy !req
595. Sex.Copy !req
596. Whoo.Copy !req
597. Geek!Copy !req
598. Very nice! We're
five minutes in...Copy !req
599. I'm at a loss.Copy !req
600. Real smooth, cliff.Copy !req
601. Ooh.Copy !req
602. I've never been out
with a boy before.Copy !req
603. Oh, me neither.Copy !req
604. Jake?Copy !req
605. Where are you, Jake?Copy !req
606. Jakey, have you
stopped loving me?Copy !req
607. Leave me alone.Copy !req
608. What? I'm sorry,
I don't do that.Copy !req
609. Yes, you do. I know.Copy !req
610. Come on. Trace. You guys.Copy !req
611. Would you help me, please?Copy !req
612. Oh, shit! Come on, you guys.
I'm your prom queen.Copy !req
613. Trace, you guys, I'm serious.Copy !req
614. Come on. I need help.Copy !req
615. Okay. I need help too.Copy !req
616. What is the problem?
Several things.Copy !req
617. Okay. We'll help you.Copy !req
618. Don't go away, Caroline, baby.Copy !req
619. Hello? Hello?Copy !req
620. Listen, I know you're there.
I can hear you breathing.Copy !req
621. Yes, hello, sir. Um...Copy !req
622. Are you the little bugger
that's been calling up...Copy !req
623. And then hanging up?Copy !req
624. Would it be possible to tell me if
there is a Samantha Baker there?Copy !req
625. And if so, sir, may I
converse with her briefly?Copy !req
626. Yes, it is. And no, you may not.Copy !req
627. Might I leave a message, sir?Copy !req
628. He wants to leave a
message for Sam.Copy !req
629. Here, give me that phone.Copy !req
630. Now, you listen to me, mister.Copy !req
631. God did not put me on this earth to
be awakened by filthy suggestions...Copy !req
632. From a foul-mouthed
hooligan like you.Copy !req
633. And as for our granddaughter, I'm sure
she has more than enough sense...Copy !req
634. to stay clear of
the likes of you!Copy !req
635. Now, good night and good-bye!Copy !req
636. That was great.Copy !req
637. Sam's lucky she has us, Howard.
Yeah.Copy !req
638. Even if she doesn't
appreciate us.Copy !req
639. Do you promise you won't get mad?
No, I love you.Copy !req
640. Okay, close your eyes.Copy !req
641. Scalpel. Scalpel.Copy !req
642. Oooh! My God.Copy !req
643. That was wonderful!Copy !req
644. I don't know how to
thank you enough.Copy !req
645. My pleasure.Copy !req
646. My God! Wow.Copy !req
647. I hope they have insurance.
The party's over.Copy !req
648. What a disaster.Copy !req
649. Jake!Copy !req
650. Sam.Copy !req
651. Sweetheart?Copy !req
652. Daddy? Hi, kiddo.Copy !req
653. What's wrong? Nothing.
Everything's fine.Copy !req
654. I was just upstairs,
and I couldn't sleep.Copy !req
655. I feel like a real jerk, honey.Copy !req
656. We forgot your birthday.Copy !req
657. I bet you're really P.O.'d, huh?Copy !req
658. No, it's okay. I'm not really
all that upset anymore.Copy !req
659. This wedding is really turning
this entire house inside out.Copy !req
660. And I just came down to tell
you that we did remember.Copy !req
661. Thanks, dad.Copy !req
662. Happy Birthday.Copy !req
663. Is something else wrong?Copy !req
664. No, why?Copy !req
665. I don't know, I just get the feeling
that something's bothering you.Copy !req
666. Something other
than your birthday.Copy !req
667. No, I'm fine. Really.Copy !req
668. I think I know what it is.Copy !req
669. It has to do with a certain guy?Copy !req
670. I know, honey. I know.Copy !req
671. We're all upset that
Ginny's marrying a bohunk.Copy !req
672. What's the matter?Copy !req
673. I meant Jake.Copy !req
674. Jake?Copy !req
675. Wait a minute. I thought she said
his name was Rudy. Forget it.Copy !req
676. Forget what? Who's Jake?Copy !req
677. He's a boy, daddy. It's nothing.Copy !req
678. Okay? Just forget it, please.Copy !req
679. Come on, Sam. We're
not communicating.Copy !req
680. It's extremely
embarrassing, okay?Copy !req
681. What's embarrassing?Copy !req
682. Sitting in the dark with your dad,
telling him about your love life.Copy !req
683. I'm afraid you lost
me again, Sam.Copy !req
684. Jake is a senior, and he's
beautiful and perfect.Copy !req
685. I like him a real lot, and
he doesn't like me. Okay?Copy !req
686. Oh.Copy !req
687. And he's got this
incredible girlfriend.Copy !req
688. I'm just this ridiculous dork that's
following him around like a puppy.Copy !req
689. Why do you think you're a dork?Copy !req
690. I don't think you're a dork. I don't
think mom thinks you're a dork.Copy !req
691. - Mike thinks I'm a dork.
- Mike is a dork.Copy !req
692. But so am I.Copy !req
693. Well, if it's any
consolation, I love you.Copy !req
694. And if this guy can't see in you all the
beautiful and wonderful things that I see,Copy !req
695. then he's got the problem.Copy !req
696. I know. It just hurts.Copy !req
697. That's why they
call them crushes.Copy !req
698. If they were easy, they'd
call them something else.Copy !req
699. But if I were Ginny,Copy !req
700. I'd have this guy
crawling on his knees.Copy !req
701. Well, let me tell you
something about Ginny.Copy !req
702. Now, I love her as much as I love you.
But she's a different person.Copy !req
703. Sometimes I worry about her.Copy !req
704. When you're given
things kind of easily,Copy !req
705. you don't always
appreciate them.Copy !req
706. With you, I'm not worried.Copy !req
707. When it happens to you,
Samantha, it'll be forever.Copy !req
708. Well, I don't think I'll
be able to sleep if ICopy !req
709. don't feel this little
talk has helped you.Copy !req
710. So would you be a
sport and lie to me?Copy !req
711. Yeah, sure, daddy.Copy !req
712. Good night, sweetheart.
Good night.Copy !req
713. Oh, one more thing, sweetheart.Copy !req
714. What?Copy !req
715. When you do find the right guy,
don't let him boss you around.Copy !req
716. Make sure he knows you wear
the pants in the family.Copy !req
717. These are really hers? Yeah.Copy !req
718. How did you get them?Copy !req
719. She gave them to me.Copy !req
720. Did you... no! No, Jake.Copy !req
721. She's crying for you.Copy !req
722. I told her you asked about her.
Right? The girl freaked.Copy !req
723. She had a hissy. She thinks
you're the cat's meow. Really?Copy !req
724. Yeah. She came up to
me in the gym tonight.Copy !req
725. She looked at me
like I was a leper.Copy !req
726. Girls'll do that, Jake.Copy !req
727. You see, they know guys are,
like, in perpetual heat, right?Copy !req
728. They know this shit. And
they enjoy pumping us up.Copy !req
729. It's pure power politics,
I'm telling you.Copy !req
730. I thought she hated my guts.Copy !req
731. Games, Jake. Silly,
torturous games.Copy !req
732. You know how many times a
week I go without lunchCopy !req
733. because some bitch
borrows my lunch money?Copy !req
734. Any halfway decent
girl can rob me blind!Copy !req
735. Because I'm too
torqued up to say no.Copy !req
736. It's heinous, I'm telling you.Copy !req
737. You better not be
dicking me around.Copy !req
738. It'd be a major downer to
try and get together...Copy !req
739. And find out she really
does think I'm a slime.Copy !req
740. Jake, would I dick you?Copy !req
741. Let me put it to you this way.Copy !req
742. What happens to
me if I dick you?Copy !req
743. I'd kick your ass.Copy !req
744. Right. So why would I lie?Copy !req
745. But I feel compelled
to mention, Jake,Copy !req
746. if all you want is a
piece of ass, I mean,Copy !req
747. I'll either do it myself, or
get someone bigger than me,Copy !req
748. to kick your ass.Copy !req
749. I mean, not many girls in contemporary
American society today...Copy !req
750. Would give their underwear
to help a geek like me.Copy !req
751. I can get a piece of
ass anytime I want.Copy !req
752. Shit, I got Caroline in my bedroom
right now, passed out cold.Copy !req
753. I could violate her ten
different ways if I wanted to.Copy !req
754. What are you waiting for?
I don't know.Copy !req
755. She's beautiful, and she's
built and all that.Copy !req
756. I'm just not interested anymore.Copy !req
757. Does that really matter, guy?
Yeah, it matters.Copy !req
758. She's totally insensitive.
Look what she did to my house.Copy !req
759. She doesn't know
shit about love.Copy !req
760. Only thing she cares
about is partying.Copy !req
761. I want a serious girlfriend.Copy !req
762. Somebody I can love, that's
going to love me back.Copy !req
763. Is that psycho?Copy !req
764. That's beautiful, Jake.Copy !req
765. I think a ton of guys feel the
same way as you do. Really?Copy !req
766. Yeah. It's just they don't... they
don't have the balls to admit it.Copy !req
767. You know? They're just...
They're wimps.Copy !req
768. Samantha's, uh... she's
really special, you know?Copy !req
769. I'll make a deal with you.Copy !req
770. Let me keep these. I'll let
you take Caroline home.Copy !req
771. But you got to make
sure she gets home. YouCopy !req
772. can't leave her in some
parking lot somewhere.Copy !req
773. Okay?Copy !req
774. Jake, I'm only a freshman.Copy !req
775. So? She's so blitzed, she
won't know the difference.Copy !req
776. Jake, I don't have a car.
You can take mine.Copy !req
777. Jake, I don't have a license.
I trust you.Copy !req
778. Jake, I'd love to. I can't.
Want a pretzel?Copy !req
779. You sure? Positive.Copy !req
780. I got her. You got her?Copy !req
781. Yeah.Copy !req
782. Is this, uh, your car, Jake?
No, this is my dad's car.Copy !req
783. You said you couldn't
drive a stick.Copy !req
784. This is a mother...Copy !req
785. This is a Rolls-Royce, Jake.Copy !req
786. So? So! So.Copy !req
787. I heard the grill alone
cost five grand on this.Copy !req
788. Five grand! I don't
have five grand.Copy !req
789. Then don't hit anything.
Ahh, don't hit anything.Copy !req
790. Do you want to do this or not?Copy !req
791. No.Copy !req
792. Who the hell? Who does he...Copy !req
793. Mm-hmm. Mmm.Copy !req
794. Who's he? That's me.Copy !req
795. Who are you? I'm him.Copy !req
796. Oh.Copy !req
797. Okay.Copy !req
798. She's totally gone. Have fun.Copy !req
799. Thanks.Copy !req
800. Jake, is your dad a big man, or...
About 6'4".Copy !req
801. Very nice.Copy !req
802. Ho.Copy !req
803. Ohh. Oh.Copy !req
804. Ho.Copy !req
805. Easy. Easy.Copy !req
806. Oh, sexy girlfriend.Copy !req
807. Banzai!Copy !req
808. Think they liked us?
- Definitely.Copy !req
809. Whoo! Go, darling geek!Copy !req
810. Uh, could we turn that music down?
I'm a first-time driver.Copy !req
811. I need to concentrate.Copy !req
812. Excuse me! Stop that.Copy !req
813. Looks like rain.
Better put the top up!Copy !req
814. Will you stop that? You can get us
in a lot of trouble doing that!Copy !req
815. This is a car!Copy !req
816. It hasn't got triple a on it.Copy !req
817. Chugalug, pooh bear.Copy !req
818. I can't believe you're so
popular, acting like this.Copy !req
819. Relax! Hello?Copy !req
820. Oh, uh, I don't know.
I'll have to look.Copy !req
821. Mr. Ryan, are you in here? He's not...
Mr. Ryan's not in right now.Copy !req
822. My Christmas present to you!Copy !req
823. Thank you. No. Really. Serious.Copy !req
824. See? See?Copy !req
825. Thank you.Copy !req
826. Now we're both on the pill!Copy !req
827. You gave me a birth
control pill?Copy !req
828. You have any idea what
that'll do to a guy my age?Copy !req
829. I know exactly what it'll
do to a girl my age.Copy !req
830. "Just climb in the car!" Shit.Copy !req
831. It makes it okay to be super careless.
Wait, wait!Copy !req
832. Ha-ha!Copy !req
833. Look, we're not going any further
until you stop these childish antics.Copy !req
834. Don't be such a poop.Copy !req
835. Huh. On second thought.Copy !req
836. I love you.Copy !req
837. This is getting good.Copy !req
838. Ted, what the hell
are you doing?Copy !req
839. Are those humongous jocks back?Copy !req
840. Do you have any film in your camera?
What?Copy !req
841. Take those ridiculous
things off.Copy !req
842. Do you have any film in your camera?
Sure.Copy !req
843. Okay. Go get it and bring it outside.
Okay? Right out front.Copy !req
844. What for? Look, just get it
and come on out front, okay?Copy !req
845. U.F.O.? It's better.Copy !req
846. Extraterrestrial? It's better! All right?
Just get it and come outside.Copy !req
847. Female extraterrestrial?Copy !req
848. It's better than... shh!Copy !req
849. Better than female
extraterrestrial?Copy !req
850. How do you tell if it's a female?
'Cause it's got tits.Copy !req
851. What makes them different
than regular tits?Copy !req
852. They got four. Just get the camera.
It's in the closet.Copy !req
853. Don't go in the closet.Copy !req
854. Such assholes. I
can't believe it.Copy !req
855. You should check that out. Why
do you always have to argue?Copy !req
856. I'm not arguing. I am not! I am not!
Yes, you are. Yes, you are.Copy !req
857. Every time I do something,
bitch, bitch, bitch.Copy !req
858. Bitch is a female dog.Copy !req
859. I am not even. What's
that supposed to mean?Copy !req
860. Shit! Shoot!Copy !req
861. Ted, that's a Rolls-Royce.Copy !req
862. Ted, that's the prom queen. You
got two girls in one night.Copy !req
863. I told you dudes I was hot.
Hot? You're a legend!Copy !req
864. Will you shut up? People
around here work, all right?Copy !req
865. Will you hurry it up? I'm breaking,
like, 30 major laws here.Copy !req
866. You know, Ted, nobody's
going to believe you.Copy !req
867. No way.Copy !req
868. That, my friends, is what
the pictures are for. Okay?Copy !req
869. Just get that thing there.Copy !req
870. - Are you guys ready?
- Wait, hold on.Copy !req
871. Put it down just a bit. You guys
know what you're doing here?Copy !req
872. All right, just a minute.Copy !req
873. How's this look? Very nice.Copy !req
874. Wait, black and white. It would
capture the moment so nicely. Oooh.Copy !req
875. Will you take the
picture already?Copy !req
876. You're pissing me
off, I'm telling you.Copy !req
877. Smile, pumpkin. What?
Oh! Pictures!Copy !req
878. Cheers!Copy !req
879. Marlene! Ohh!Copy !req
880. Chill out, boy.Copy !req
881. Mike, honey. Go get dressed.Copy !req
882. I can't believe it. Ginny's
not in the shower.Copy !req
883. I wouldn't go in there. Grandpa Fred
was in there for a half an hour.Copy !req
884. It's totally polluted.
Get dressed.Copy !req
885. It's your nose.Copy !req
886. They never listen.Copy !req
887. What was he wearing?
Well, he would have...Copy !req
888. He was wearing a red argyle
sweater and tan trousers.Copy !req
889. Mmm. And red shoes.Copy !req
890. Hmm? No, he's not retarded.Copy !req
891. Now, what can I do to help? Well,
you could finish the French toast.Copy !req
892. Good.Copy !req
893. I'll, uh... I'll just
open the doughnuts.Copy !req
894. Good thinking. Oops. Don't
want to lose the nails.Copy !req
895. I'll just wait until I hear from you, then.
Voila. Breakfast is ready.Copy !req
896. Oh, Sam.Copy !req
897. Sam, I am so sorry
about your birthday.Copy !req
898. It's okay. I'll recover.Copy !req
899. It's important to you.Copy !req
900. And yesterday morning, you
were trying to tell me.Copy !req
901. It's okay, mom.Copy !req
902. These things sometimes happen.Copy !req
903. Oh, honey, I just
feel miserable.Copy !req
904. You'll feel better.Copy !req
905. Who died?Copy !req
906. Uh...Copy !req
907. Is there something you want
to say to your sister?Copy !req
908. What? Are you kidding?
Where should I start?Copy !req
909. I mean about her birthday.Copy !req
910. It was yesterday. We all forgot.Copy !req
911. Classic.Copy !req
912. Deep down, he's really sorry.Copy !req
913. No, he's not.Copy !req
914. I have to go to this wedding and
look like miss pretty princess...Copy !req
915. In this dipshit's
bridesmaid's dress.Copy !req
916. I don't have one-tenth of the
bod to fill the stupid bust up.Copy !req
917. So what? Should I just waste
myself and spare the agony?Copy !req
918. I was going to tell you something, but
maybe I shouldn't. It's pretty bad.Copy !req
919. You may as well. Nothing
could shock me anymore.Copy !req
920. Last night at the dance,Copy !req
921. my little brother paid a
buck to see your underwear.Copy !req
922. Geez! I hate that rock
'n' roll rubbish!Copy !req
923. Well, I'm afraid it's
here to stay, Howie.Copy !req
924. Sam, you're dragging your dress, honey.
Pick it up.Copy !req
925. Come on, Ginny. Hurry up, Susie.
Why is she so slow?Copy !req
926. Do not fuss at your sister.
It's her wedding day. Big deal.Copy !req
927. All right, is everybody in? Oh, dear.
Are you all right, Ginny?Copy !req
928. Come on, everybody.Copy !req
929. Get in the car, please.
We're late already.Copy !req
930. Helen, will you get in the car? I don't
know what they're fussing about.Copy !req
931. Helen, get in the car!Copy !req
932. Hey, Howard, there's
your chinaman.Copy !req
933. Thanks, Fred. Bye, Dong.Copy !req
934. What the... what's he doing
on the ground there?Copy !req
935. What happened?Copy !req
936. Hold a mirror in front of his mouth.
Howard! He's dead!Copy !req
937. Aw, shit. I pay seven grand for
a wedding, I'll never see it!Copy !req
938. Oh, watch your language,
Mr. Dirty mouth.Copy !req
939. Oh, thank God, he is still warm.
Oh, good.Copy !req
940. Here, I-I'll help you.
Roll him over.Copy !req
941. Ugh. Canine cologne.Copy !req
942. Oh, no more yankie my wankie.Copy !req
943. The donger need food!Copy !req
944. Hell, he's three
sheets to the wind!Copy !req
945. He's drunk as a skunk!
- Shut up, Fred. Shut up.Copy !req
946. Dong!Copy !req
947. Dong.Copy !req
948. Dong, grandpa is talking to you.Copy !req
949. Dong! Where is my automobile?Copy !req
950. Automobile?Copy !req
951. Lake. Big lake.Copy !req
952. Ohh!Copy !req
953. Why, you little scuzzbag!Copy !req
954. Oh, my. Is everything all right?Copy !req
955. I was afraid you'd
had an accident.Copy !req
956. I wish. Her monthly
bill came early.Copy !req
957. Well, she's fine.Copy !req
958. Uh, she just took
a muscle relaxer.Copy !req
959. Try four.Copy !req
960. You didn't. Mother!Copy !req
961. Damn, mom! I've got my headgear on.
Will you wake up?Copy !req
962. Where the hell am I?Copy !req
963. I'll, uh, tell you where you are,
if you'll tell me who you are.Copy !req
964. Farmer Ted. You're in the parking lot
across the street from my church.Copy !req
965. You own a church?Copy !req
966. What happened? I have no idea.Copy !req
967. Did I do that to your hair?Copy !req
968. At this point,
anything is possible.Copy !req
969. Um, I... uh...Copy !req
970. Did, um...Copy !req
971. Did we, uh... yeah.Copy !req
972. I'm pretty sure.Copy !req
973. Um, excuse me, but do you...Copy !req
974. Do you know if...
Um, did I enjoy it?Copy !req
975. Am I nuts? Of course
I enjoyed it.Copy !req
976. I mean, um... what I
meant was, uh, did you?Copy !req
977. Hmm.Copy !req
978. You know, I have this
weird feeling I did.Copy !req
979. Here, Ginny. Drink this.Copy !req
980. Come on.Copy !req
981. Here.Copy !req
982. Wow.Copy !req
983. Do I feel funky! Uh-huh.Copy !req
984. Okay. I'm coming.Copy !req
985. Hello? Geez, this place
is so confusing.Copy !req
986. Okay.Copy !req
987. Go away! I call F.I.B.!
I call police!Copy !req
988. Go away! Open the door.Copy !req
989. No way, Jose! Open the door.Copy !req
990. You beat up my face!
You grabbed my nuts.Copy !req
991. Is that you? Yeah. That me.Copy !req
992. Oh, I'm so sorry.Copy !req
993. I thought you my new...
New-style American girlfriend.Copy !req
994. Forget it, man. Just get
Samantha, all right?Copy !req
995. She not here. Don't jerk me around, man.
Where is she?Copy !req
996. - She got married.
- What?Copy !req
997. She at the church. She getting
married to oily bohunk.Copy !req
998. Married? Married.Copy !req
999. Married? Yeah. Married.Copy !req
1000. Married?Copy !req
1001. Married! Geez.Copy !req
1002. Are you going to be
all right, sweetie?Copy !req
1003. It's going to be a
piece of cake, Bren.Copy !req
1004. Um, Ginny, I'm really
happy for you.Copy !req
1005. I'm sorry for being
kind of a jerk lately.Copy !req
1006. That's really lovely, Sam.Copy !req
1007. I know you'll have
a great marriage.Copy !req
1008. Ginny!Copy !req
1009. - Holy shit!
- She just had a cramp.Copy !req
1010. I don't care what she's got! Look at her!
Will you be quiet?Copy !req
1011. We don't want to announce
that she has her period!Copy !req
1012. I guess those guys who
thought we had to getCopy !req
1013. married feel pretty
stupid, huh, padre?Copy !req
1014. Loved the teapot.Copy !req
1015. Excuse me.Copy !req
1016. Could you move over? Oh!Copy !req
1017. Are you okay? I got to rest.Copy !req
1018. Come on. Here we go.
What's the matter?Copy !req
1019. Here comes the bride.Copy !req
1020. Oh!Copy !req
1021. Sorry.Copy !req
1022. I got it. I got it!Copy !req
1023. Hi.Copy !req
1024. I know you.Copy !req
1025. Can't see with this thing on.Copy !req
1026. I never went out with a freshman.Copy !req
1027. Not even when I was a freshman.Copy !req
1028. Me either. You
were pretty crazy.Copy !req
1029. I was?Copy !req
1030. Yeah. You know what I like best?Copy !req
1031. My clean, close shave? No.Copy !req
1032. Waking up in your arms.Copy !req
1033. These things?Copy !req
1034. Shit.Copy !req
1035. Mmm? Jake.Copy !req
1036. Jake.Copy !req
1037. Holy shit.Copy !req
1038. Stay here, okay? Oh, my God.Copy !req
1039. I'm dead.Copy !req
1040. Hello?
- Ted. You never called us back.Copy !req
1041. What happened? Look, wease. I
told you not to call me here.Copy !req
1042. Ted, we're dying. What happened?Copy !req
1043. You want to know what happened?
Buy the book. Ted!Copy !req
1044. I'm really sorry about getting
you mixed up with that guy.Copy !req
1045. Oh, it's okay.Copy !req
1046. He wasn't too terrible.Copy !req
1047. Weird?Copy !req
1048. I'm really sorry
about last night.Copy !req
1049. The party.Copy !req
1050. Lots of things.Copy !req
1051. You know, neither one of
us is going to die...Copy !req
1052. If it doesn't happen for us.Copy !req
1053. That's true.Copy !req
1054. I just don't know right now.Copy !req
1055. But I'm covered, okay? I...
I won't get hurt.Copy !req
1056. Sure.Copy !req
1057. I'll leave it up to you.Copy !req
1058. Fine.Copy !req
1059. Oh, my God! Her veil!Copy !req
1060. Come on, honey.Copy !req
1061. Honey. Good-bye!Copy !req
1062. Come on. Here we go.Copy !req
1063. Get her in the back seat, Rudy!Copy !req
1064. Bon voyage!Copy !req
1065. See you later. Bye!Copy !req
1066. Good-bye! So long, kids!Copy !req
1067. Ohh!Copy !req
1068. Oh, hi. Uh, my sister
forgot her veil.Copy !req
1069. I know she wouldn't want anything
to happen to it. She's, um...Copy !req
1070. She's a little out of it.
- Just a little bit.Copy !req
1071. Yeah. Uh, well, excuse me.Copy !req
1072. Everybody's waiting for me. I want
to make sure I see my sister leave.Copy !req
1073. Good-bye. Bye.Copy !req
1074. Oh, I need a drink.Copy !req
1075. Yeah, you.Copy !req
1076. Hi.Copy !req
1077. Hi.
- Hi.Copy !req
1078. What are you doing here?
I heard you were here.Copy !req
1079. You came here for me?Copy !req
1080. Is that okay?
- Yeah. It's okay.Copy !req
1081. Do you have to go to
the reception now?Copy !req
1082. I'm supposed to.Copy !req
1083. Can I call you later? Sure.Copy !req
1084. I mean, no.Copy !req
1085. No, I can't call you later?Copy !req
1086. Yeah.Copy !req
1087. No, I mean... I'm not
going to the reception.Copy !req
1088. Oh. Great.Copy !req
1089. Thanks for getting
my undies back.Copy !req
1090. Thanks for coming over.Copy !req
1091. Thanks for coming to get me.Copy !req
1092. Happy Birthday, Samantha.Copy !req
1093. Make a wish.Copy !req
1094. It already came true.Copy !req