- 1. For six years,
six weeks and six days,
- 2. you've stood on that column, Simon.
- 3. Your asceticism has edified us all.
- 4. Honor us now by mounting
this other pedestal,
- 5. presented to you through
the munificence of this wealthy man.
- 6. From your new column
- 7. you can continue to inspire
our brothers by your penance
- 8. in the footsteps of our father,
- 9. Accept this column
- 10. as a gesture
of our family's gratitude to you
- 11. for curing me
of an unspeakable disease.
- 12. Help me!
- 13. Let the holy man pass!
- 14. Help us, Father Simon.
- 15. Wait.
- 16. Your mother wishes to be near you
until the hour of her passing.
- 17. Let her embrace you one last time.
- 18. It would have been better for you
- 19. had you stayed in the peace
of your home, woman.
- 20. Be dutiful, Simon,
and receive her with gladness.
- 21. Stay near me
if you so desire, Mother.
- 22. But I take my leave of you in this life
with this embrace.
- 23. My love for you must not come
between my Lord and his servant.
- 24. Farewell.
- 25. We will meet again in his presence.
- 26. Your blessing, Father.
- 27. First allow me to bestow
holy orders on you.
- 28. Prepare yourself, my son.
- 29. Behold him whose ministry -
- 30. I am not worthy.
Holy orders, no!
- 31. Behold him
whose ministry is offered you.
- 32. I am unfit to receive such grace.
- 33. I, an unworthy sinner.
- 34. Ascend your Calvary, Simon.
May peace be with you.
- 35. Brother Simon.
- 36. Let us pray.
- 37. Our Father, who art in heaven...
- 38. hallowed be thy name.
- 39. Thy kingdom come...
- 40. thy will be done...
- 41. on earth as it is in heaven.
- 42. O blessed one!
- 43. Look at these stumps
that once were hands.
- 44. Every day we grow poorer,
and my daughters go hungry.
- 45. How did this misfortune befall you?
- 46. They were chopped off.
- 47. But why?
- 48. For stealing.
- 49. It's true.
- 50. But I am repentant.
- 51. Father, relieve my suffering.
- 52. Help us.
Have pity on these children.
- 53. I can only pray.
- 54. Pray with me in silence.
- 55. Perhaps God will allow us
to witness one of Simon's miracles.
- 56. Amen.
- 57. You are whole.
- 58. Give thanks to the Lord
and go about your business.
- 59. Fabiola, let's go home.
- 60. The garden needs digging.
- We'll have to buy a new hoe.
- 61. The old one is broken.
Let's go, girls.
- 62. Are these the same hands
you had before, Father?
- 63. Be quiet, foolish girl.
Leave me be.
- 64. - See that?
- 65. - That thing with the hands.
- Oh, that.
- 66. Any bread left?
- 67. Give me a bit.
- 68. We've spent long enough
on these spiritual shenanigans.
- 69. Shall we go, Father?
- 70. We must accompany Simon's solitude
a while in prayer.
- 71. Where did that
one-eyed woman come from?
- 72. One-eyed?
You're mistaken, Simon.
- 73. She has one eye, I tell you.
- 74. She has two eyes, both healthy.
- 75. - How do you know?
- Because I looked.
- 76. And there was nothing wrong
with either eye.
- 77. How could you forget
the commandments that say,
- 78. “Lay not thine eyes upon woman,”
- 79. and “Be thou not seduced
by a woman's gaze,”
- 80. and especially...
- 81. “Be thou not burned
in the fire of vain contemplation”?
- 82. My brother,
- 83. I pray you not to come here again
- 84. until your gaze regains
its due moderation.
- 85. Good day, Brother Matthew
- 86. God be with you, brother.
- 87. Where's the milk for the monastery?
- 88. Some whore breathed on it
and curdled it.
- 89. At the crack of dawn,
I'll bring a fresh jugful.
- 90. Have you come to visit
our blessed Simon?
- 91. Yesterday I took him a bowl of curd
and a piece of soft bread.
- 92. And curse my soul,
- 93. the so-and-so paid me no heed.
- 94. Don't curse.
- 95. Forgive Father Simon.
He must have been praying.
- 96. What's wrong with her?
- 97. She's got a bad foot.
- 98. You like her, don't you?
- 99. Her name's Domitila.
- 100. Look what a pair of beauties.
- 101. You just touch them,
- 102. and they firm up.
- 103. Abide with God, brother.
- 104. Don't love those animals so.
- 105. The devil roams this wilderness.
- 106. I hear him in the night.
- 107. Avert thy wrath.
- 108. They could not...
- 109. my heart.--
- 110. O my Lord -
- 111. I can't remember how it ends.
- 112. My heart -
- 113. Here I am!
- 114. I've brought your food,
0 blessed one.
- 115. May the peace of God be with you.
- And with you, brother.
- 116. I've brought oil and bread
as well as your lettuce.
- 117. My body doesn't need
- 118. It is sufficiently nourished
with the lettuce God gives me.
- 119. I'm fasting too, Father.
- 120. But the problem is,
- 121. the less I eat, the fatter I get.
- 122. The abbot wants you to eat more.
- 123. Thank him for his concern,
- 124. but ask his forgiveness.
- 125. I know better than he
how necessary it is for me to fast.
- 126. I ask your forgiveness as well.
- 127. Things have changed a lot in the abbey.
They no longer give us wine.
- 128. Our water has cumin and pepper in it.
- 129. The abbot says it makes you strong.
- 130. What have you been eating
these last five days?
- 131. You've hardly drunk any water.
- 132. And what's left smells awful.
- 133. Do you need anything else, Father?
- 134. Go in peace.
Let me fight my battle.
- 135. Battle?
- 136. An innocent like you
knows nothing of these things.
- 137. My son.
- 138. You look very clean.
- 139. Thank you, Father
- 140. But remember that cleanliness
in body and clothing,
- 141. innocent enough in ordinary men,
- 142. is a sin in those
who dedicate their lives to God.
- 143. If you say so, Father.
I'll keep it in mind.
- 144. In righteousness
shalt thou be worshipped.
- 145. He's an idiot, the conceited ass!
- 146. In righteousness -
- 147. Man is the most despicable
of all thy creatures, Lord.
- 148. His very presence
distances me from thee.
- 149. My help cometh even from the Lord.
- 150. Funny, there are no flies today.
- 151. I'm hungry and thirsty once again.
- 152. I'd managed to forget my body,
- 153. but that wretch made me remember.
- 154. No! I'll eat nothing until sunset'.
- 155. How long before I am worthy of thee?
- 156. How greatly tempted
I am to descend
- 157. and feel mother earth under my feet.
- 158. And run, and run...
- 159. Not so fast.
- 160. Do you ever think of me, my son?
- 161. Hardly ever, Mother.
- 162. I don't have time.
- 163. Why are you so proud, my son?
- 164. Proud of my freedom.
- 165. Or of my enslavement, Mother.
- 166. Here I am, Simon!
- 167. Watch this!
- 168. Cease from thy folly
- 169. Count as lost
- 170. That which has perished
- 171. Thou alone
- 172. Above all the hirsute
- 173. Thou, son of rabbit-ridden Syria
- 174. You good man, Simeon
- 175. With the lovely thick beard
- 176. And teeth brushed clean
- 177. With Syria's urine
- 178. - What are you doing here?
- 179. - Where did you come from?
- Over there.
- 180. - And where are you going?
- Over there.
- 181. Who are you?
- 182. I'm an innocent little girl, Simon.
- 183. Look what innocent legs I've got.
- 184. In m y kingdom, Simeon
- 185. Neither is everyone what they seem
- 186. Nor do they seem
- 187. What they are
- 188. What a lovely beard
- 189. And teeth brushed clean
- 190. With Syria's urine
- 191. Look how long my tongue is.
- 192. I fear you not, Satan.
- 193. O Christ!
- 194. I'll be back, shaggy locks!
- 195. O heavenly father
- 196. And Christ our savior
- 197. I give praise to you
at the setting sun
- 198. To Father, Son and Holy Ghost
- 199. It is right thou should be praised
- 200. By the holy Voices
- 201. Of the Son of God
- 202. For the Lord said,
- 203. “Whosoever abandons father,
mother, brothers, sisters,
- 204. wife, children and property
and follows me
- 205. shall be repaid a hundredfold
- 206. and shall inherit eternal life.”
- 207. In the world, I was a mere slave.
- 208. And here I am ready to serve you.
- 209. For it is written,
- 210. “God helps those who help others.”
- 211. Let us not yield in our asceticism
- 212. Let us spread it like an arc.
- 213. Let us leave our past behind
- 214. and ascend ever onwards
- 215. to follow the eternal calling
of the heavenly voices.
- 216. Offer your food and raiment
to the poor and hungry,
- 217. for they will open to you the doors
to the Kingdom of Heaven.
- 218. Our time on earth is short.
- 219. Look, brothers!
- 220. The saint's got a pretty full larder.
- 221. Cheese.
- 222. Bread.
- 223. And wine!
- 224. He who poses as the champion
of penance on a column
- 225. to be above ordinary men...
- 226. Samaritan!
- 227. Is guided by the hand of Satan.
- 228. You've seen the proof.
- 229. “Let us not yield in our asceticism
Spread it like an arc.”
- 230. I put my trust in you, Simon.
- 231. This food can only be
- 232. sent by the devil to tempt you.
- 233. I need no explanation, brother.
- 234. But tell these, your disciples,
- 235. if you know why these provisions
were in your bag.
- 236. More welcome is slander
to the pious soul
- 237. than odious eulogies
- 238. that arouse pride.
- 239. This gentle one, this humble one,
calls me a slanderer, brothers.
- 240. I swear before God that I did not place
these tasty morsels there.
- 241. O blessed one,
give us but one word
- 242. and we will believe you.
- 243. Speak.
- 244. I am thy servant, Lord.
Thy will be done.
- 245. You see?
He shrinks from a reply.
- 246. No one can doubt his guilt now.
- 247. Let us pray for him, brothers.
- 248. One servant of the Lord
- 249. and we who came here to be uplifted
- 250. find only scandal.
- 251. Let us lift up our prayers
to the Holy Ghost.
- 252. May he show us the guilty one.
- 253. Let us kneel and pray.
- 254. In the name of the Father,
the Son, and the Holy Ghost.
- 255. What's the matter?
- 256. Cross yourself, Brother Trifón.
- 257. You filthy eunuch!
- 258. Yes, I put the food in your bag.
- 259. And I haven't finished
tormenting you yet,
- 260. son of a whore.
- 261. I won't rest until I hear
your own filthy lips
- 262. cursing Christ in the holy sacrament
and his so-called mother.
- 263. In the belly of the whore.
- 264. The Lord shall avenge me.
- 265. Down with the sacred hypostasis!
- 266. Long live the sacred hypostasis!
- 267. - Death to the anastasis!
- Long may it live!
- 268. - Long live the apocatastasis!
- Down with it!
- 269. What on earth is the apocatastasis?
- 270. Hear me, O Lord.
- 271. Death to Jesus Christ!
- 272. Death to -
- 273. Long may he live!
- 274. The Lord loveth the righteous.
- 275. I exorcise you in the name of Christ.
- 276. Flee the body of that man!
- 277. Flee, Satan, at the sign of this cross.
- 278. Pick him up and take him away.
- 279. I'll finish exorcising him
at the monastery in my own way.
- 280. Peace be with you, brother.
- 281. Zenón!
- 282. Listen to me.
- 283. Send that beardless youth away.
- 284. Me?
- 285. It is not fitting for him to live
near the temptations of the devil.
- 286. Tell him not to return
until his beard covers his cheeks.
- 287. Thank you for your advice,
fruit of your sound judgment.
- 288. You may leave the monastery
to return home, Matias.
- 289. When your face is covered with hair,
you may return.
- 290. Don't love those old graybeards so.
- 291. The devil roams this wilderness.
- 292. I hear him in the night.
- 293. 0 God,
- 294. my God,
- 295. from the dawn
I keep watch for thee-
- 296. My soul thirsteth for thee,
- 297. and my flesh too,
in all manner of ways.
- 298. O Lord.
- 299. Lord, my thoughts
stray from thee.
- 300. Receive, Lord,
thy most humble of servants.
- 301. You are my favorite son, Simon.
- 302. Your asceticism is sublime.
- 303. I love you and live in you.
You speak for me.
- 304. For eight years,
eight months and eight days,
- 305. your spirit has burned
atop that column
- 306. as the flame burns atop a candle.
- 307. Blessed are those who suffer.
- 308. I want to die in thee, Lord.
- 309. Deign to receive my soul.
- 310. Why criest thou, Lord?
- 311. I cry for you, my beloved son.
- 312. I am saddened by your penance
- 313. and by your excessive sacrifice.
- 314. Cease them now
if you would please me.
- 315. Change your ways.
- 316. Change, Lord?
- 317. Come down off that column.
- 318. Taste earthly pleasures
- 319. till you've had your fill.
- 320. Till the very word pleasure
fills you with nausea.
- 321. Only then will you be
truly close to me.
- 322. Satan! I fear you not.
- 323. The Lord will render useless
all your intrigues.
- 324. How long will you go on
seeking mankind's undoing?
- 325. You who before your fall
- 326. rejoiced in the divine presence.
- 327. If I repent, Simon,
- 328. would God restore me
to my former glory?
- 329. On no account, Satan.
- 330. Repent if you can,
- 331. but you'll remain
like this for all of time.
- 332. Just look what a filthy cheat
I'm rubbing shoulders with!
- 333. You know where you can stuff
an offer like that!
- 334. I'm quite happy as I am, you swine!
- 335. Slimy sacrament
- 336. in the belly of a whore!
- 337. I beseech you in the name of Christ,
- 338. let a just man pray in peace.
- 339. I'll be back, shaggy locks!
- 340. If I don't free myself
from the devil today, Lord,
- 341. I'll break free tomorrow.
- 342. Or in five years, or ten.
- 343. Self-restraint, prayer,
- 344. charity and humility
will be my weapons.
- 345. My eyes must have been blind
- 346. to have mistaken
the wolf for the lamb.
- 347. I deserve eternal penance.
- 348. Until thou callest me to thy side,
- 349. I'll use one leg only
to support my body.
- 350. I thank thee, Lord,
for providing my sustenance.
- 351. Make fertile the soil
that feeds the poor,
- 352. and let hail not fall.
- 353. I bless you,
poor innocent creature.
- 354. Go and sing the glories of the Lord.
- 355. Who can I bless now?
- 356. Besides being a spiritual exercise,
blessings are good fun too.
- 357. And I don't offend anyone.
- 358. What am I saying?
- 359. I'm beginning to realize
I don't realize what I'm saying.
- 360. What am I saying?
- 361. Father!
- 362. Bless Pelagia's pregnancy.
- 363. Let's see if the bitch drops
what she's carrying.
- 364. You too have my blessing, brother,
- 365. you who are poor in spirit
and worldly goods.
- 366. Don't bless me
in the same breath as my goats!
- 367. But I respect you and love you,
- 368. and tomorrow I'll bring you
a bowl of fresh milk.
- 369. Thank you, my son.
- 370. But you know it's no use.
- 371. I've got a feeling he's not
quite right in the head.
- 372. It must come from
stuffing yourself with air.
- 373. Believe me, I eat and drink
quite enough to fulfill my needs.
- 374. I'm not a spirit or disincarnate,
- 375. but a man whose flesh
weighs heavily upon him.
- 376. As for the need
to evacuate my bowels,
- 377. my excrement is like your goats'
because I'm so withered up.
- 378. The only thing I understood
of all that was “withered up.”
- 379. What do you want?
- 380. I want your forgiveness
and your blessing.
- 381. Who are you?
- 382. Why must I forgive you?
- 383. I was the one
who gazed upon a woman.
- 384. God has already forgiven you.
- 385. I'd like to give you some rather
unsavory news about God's servants.
- 386. The hordes of the Antichrist
are advancing on Rome.
- 387. They'll be here before long.
- 388. Blessed is the scourge
if it wins us glory before the Lord.
- 389. Mankind will forever be entwined
in fratricidal conflict,
- 390. and all because of that
cursed “yours” and “mine.”
- 391. What do you mean?
- 392. Man kills to defend
what he considers his.
- 393. I don't understand.
- 394. What is “yours” and “mine”?
- 395. Look.
- 396. I'll explain.
- 397. This is your bag, isn't it?
- 398. If I say it's not,
we'll start to quarrel.
- 399. Let's try it.
- 400. Simon, this bag is mine.
- 401. Now, you say it's yours.
- 402. - It's mine.
- No, it's mine.
- 403. All right, take it then.
- 404. Your unselfishness is admirable
and very good for your soul.
- 405. But I fear that, like your penance,
- 406. it is of little use to man.
- 407. I don't understand you.
- 408. We speak in different tongues.
- 409. Go in peace, brother.
- 410. Protect me, Lord!
- 411. I promised I'd return.
- 412. This is the last time.
- 413. Get thee behind me, Satan!
- 414. Not behind, nor anywhere else.
- 415. Abominable lord of darkness!
- 416. If the Lord has sent you
to tempt me, so be it,
- 417. but you will not succeed.
- 418. You disgust me. I can smell
your foul breath from here.
- 419. You don't smell too good either.
- 420. Prepare yourself, Simon.
- 421. We're going on a long, long journey.
- 422. In the name of Christ.
- 423. Making gestures with your hand
won't help you this time.
- 424. Simon of the desert,
- 425. you may not believe it,
but you and I are very much alike.
- 426. Like you,
- 427. I believe in God the Father Almighty,
- 428. because I've been in his presence.
- 429. As for his only Son,
- 430. I could tell you a thing or two.
- 431. I believe in God almighty -
- 432. Get ready to leave, Simon.
- 433. I'm taking you to the sabbath.
- 434. There you'll see tongues of flame
- 435. and the gaping
red wounds of the flesh.
- 436. Enough!
- 437. Let's go.
- 438. They're coming for us.
- 439. What are you thinking about, Simon?
- 440. Nothing.
- 441. What's this dance called?
- 442. “Radioactive flesh.”
- 443. It's the latest dance,
- 444. the final dance.
- 445. - Get thee behind me.
- Get thee gone.
- 446. Have fun.
I'm going home.
- 447. Better not.
You'll get a nasty surprise.
- 448. What is it?
- 449. Another tenant's moved in.
You'll have to stick it out.
- 450. You'll have to stick it out
till the end.
- 451. MADE BY MEMBERS OF THE S:T.P.C.