1. Once upon a time, a long time ago,
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2. a king and queen had a
beautiful daughter named Fiona.
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3. But she was possessed
by a terrible curse.
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4. By day, a lovely princess.
By night, a hideous ogre.
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5. Only true love's kiss
could lift her curse.
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6. So Fiona waited in a tower,
guarded by a dragon, until the day
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7. when her true love would arrive.
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8. But as the days turned into years,
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9. the King and Queen were forced
to resort to more desperate measures.
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10. Whoa, there.
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11. I don't know about this, Lillian.
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12. Fairy Godmother said only true love's
kiss could break Fiona's curse.
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13. I don't trust that woman, Harold.
This may be our last hope.
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14. Besides, he does come
highly recommended by King Midas.
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15. But to put our daughter's life
in the hands of this... person?
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16. He's devious.
He's deceitful. He's, he's...
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17. Rumpelstiltskin!
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18. Mrs Highness.
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19. How do you do?
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20. Down, Fifi. Get down!
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21. As you can see, everything's in order.
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22. So you'll put an end
to our daughter's curse?
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23. And, in return, you sign the kingdom
of Far Far Away over to me.
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24. - Lillian, this is madness!
- What choice do we have?
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25. Fiona has been locked away
in that tower far too long.
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26. It's not like she's getting any younger.
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27. But to sign over our entire kingdom?
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28. Well, if your kingdom's worth
more to you than your daughter...
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29. Nothing is worth more to us
than our daughter.
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30. Jump, Fifi, jump!
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31. Just sign it and all your problems
will disappear.
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32. Your Highness! The Princess!
She's been saved!
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33. Who saved her?
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34. No one would have guessed
that an ogre named Shrek,
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35. whose roar was feared
throughout the land,
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36. would save the beautiful Princess Fiona.
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37. True love's kiss led to marriage
and ogre babies!
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38. The kingdom of Far Far Away
was finally at peace.
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39. Goody for them!
And they lived happily ever after!
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40. Sir? You're gonna
have to pay for that.
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41. Maybe we could make a deal
for it, little boy?
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42. - Oh, I'm not a real boy.
- Do you want to be?
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43. Nobody needs your deals
anymore, Grumpel Stinkypants!
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44. I wish that ogre was never born!
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45. Wake up, Daddy, wake up!
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46. - Good morning.
- Good morning to you.
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47. Better out than in.
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48. That's my line.
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49. Did my little Fergus make a...
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50. —big, grownup ogre stink?
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51. Oh, that's diabolical!
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52. And on your left, the lovable lug
that showed us you don't have to
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53. change your undies
to change the world!
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54. I wonder what Shrek's up to in there.
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55. Get in there. Get...
Impossible to put on!
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56. OK, the dragon goes under the bridge,
through the loop...
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57. and finally, into the castle.
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58. Play date!
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59. Then Shrek kissed the Princess.
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60. She turned into a beautiful ogre
and they lived...
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61. happily—...
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62. - Ever...
- After.
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63. Look! A shooting star!
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64. So, what did you wish for?
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65. That every day could be like this one.
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66. Come here, you.
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67. Morning, Daddy.
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68. Morning.
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69. Better out than in.
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70. Did my little Fergus make a...
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71. Cute. Real cute.
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72. This lovable lug taught us
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73. you don't have to change
your undies to change the world!
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74. Play date!
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75. Shrek! The outhouse is clogged up!
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76. She turned into a beautiful ogre
and they lived...
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77. - Happily...
- Ever...
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78. After?
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79. - Daddy, get up!
- Morning.
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80. - Better out than in.
- This lovable lug...
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81. - Play date!
- No!
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82. Outhouse again!
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83. Come on.
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84. Undies!
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85. Outhouse!
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86. - Get up, get up!
- And they lived...
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87. - Happily...
- Ever...
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88. After.
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89. Roar.
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90. Nice landing, baby.
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91. Hey! Now remember, don't eat the valet.
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92. Happy birthday, ninos!
Vamos a la fiesta!
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93. Hey, Shrek, Shrek!
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94. Mr Shrek, would you
sign our pitchforks?
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95. And our torches?
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96. Oh, man, you used to be so fierce!
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97. Yeah, when you were a real ogre!
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98. A real ogre?
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99. Shrek, it's a sing-along.
You've got to sing along!
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100. - No, thanks.
- Please? I'll be your best friend.
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101. Why does being your best friend entail
me doing everything I don't want to do?
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102. Please, Felicia, not in Daddy's ear.
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103. Excuse me, Mr Shrek?
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104. Could you do that
ogre roar of yours for my son?
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105. He's a big, big fan.
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106. Do the roar.
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107. You know, I'd rather not.
It's my kids' birthday party.
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108. - Do the roar.
- Honey?
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109. Why don't you go check on the cake?
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110. - Sure.
- And don't forget the candles.
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111. Hold still.
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112. Thanks for the pants, Muffin Man.
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113. I always wanted chaps!
Yee-haw! Giddy up!
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114. - Monsieur Shrek.
- Howdy, Shrek!
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115. Your cake. Voila'!
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116. - What is that supposed to be?
- That's Sprinkles the Ogre!
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117. Isn't he cute? He looks just like you.
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118. But happy. It's a party, Shrek.
You gotta cheer up!
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119. I'm in a great mood, actually.
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120. - Oh, I'm gonna lick me a rainbow!
- Donkey!
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121. As long as you're not doing anything,
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122. how about one of those
famous Shrek roars?
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123. - Do the roar.
- Let me set you straight, Butter Pants.
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124. An ogre only roars when he's angry.
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125. You don't want to see me angry, do you?
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126. Do it.
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127. Hold it together. Just hold it together.
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128. Daddy, he's getting away. Do something.
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129. Oh, good.
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130. - What happened to the cake?
- Trust me. It's an improvement.
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131. - You licked it!
- No.
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132. Just because you're an ogre,
doesn't mean you have to eat like one.
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133. Looks like you forgot the candles!
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134. OK, just watch the cake.
I'll go get them.
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135. Watch the cake?
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136. - Where's the cake?
- We ate the cake.
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137. - Ya.
- What?
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138. No, don't cry.
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139. Hey! I believe you
promised my son a roar.
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140. - Do the roar.
- Roar.
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141. - I don't like it.
- Pigs, we need another cake.
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142. - We ate the other cakes.
- One roar, man.
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143. Hey, everybody!
Shrek's gonna do his famous ogre roar!
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144. Not now, Donkey.
Pigs, are there any cupcakes?
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145. - We ate them, too.
- They have lollipops.
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146. No, I ate them.
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147. - You didn't share?
- Well, you didn't share the croissants!
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148. - Everything's gonna be OK.
- Shrek, what's going on?
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149. - Come on, Shrek, your fans are waiting!
- Do the roar.
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150. We need the cake!
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151. Cake! Cake! Cake!
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152. I love you, Daddy.
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153. Everybody, I have found another cake!
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154. Shrek? Are you OK?
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155. - Unbelievable.
- Tell me about it! Those villagers...
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156. I'm not talking about the villagers,
Shrek. I'm talking about you.
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157. Is this really how you want
to remember the kids' first birthday?
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158. - Oh, great. So this is all my fault?
- Yes. But you know what?
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159. Let's talk about this
after the party, at home.
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160. You mean that roadside
attraction we live in?
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161. Step right up! See the dancing ogre!
Don't worry! He won't bite!
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162. I used to be an ogre.
Now I'm just a jolly green joke!
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163. OK, OK, maybe you're not
the ogre you used to be.
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164. But maybe that's not such a bad thing.
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165. I wouldn't expect you to understand.
It's not like you're a real ogre.
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166. You spent half your life in a palace.
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167. And the other half
locked away in a tower.
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168. Look, all I want is for things to go
back to the way they used to be!
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169. Back when villagers were afraid of me,
and I could take a mud bath in peace.
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170. When I could do what I wanted,
when I wanted to do it!
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171. Back when the world made sense!
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172. You mean back before you
rescued me from the Dragon's Keep?
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173. Exactly!
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174. Shrek, you have
three beautiful children,
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175. a wife who loves you,
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176. friends who adore you.
You have everything.
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177. Why is it the only person
who can't see that is you?
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178. That's just great.
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179. If she thinks I'm gonna
slink back there and apologize,
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180. she's got another thing coming.
She's not the boss of me.
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181. I'm an ogre and I'm not gonna apologize
for acting like one.
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182. Help, please!
Someone, anyone at all, help me!
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183. Please, help!
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184. Please, help!
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185. I'm stuck! Help!
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186. Oh, please, help!
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187. Someone, anyone! Help me!
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188. The pain! I can see
a bright light. A tunnel!
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189. Grandma? Is that you?
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190. Yeah, it's me, Granny.
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191. An ogre! Please, Mr Ogre,
please don't eat me!
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192. I'm not gonna eat you.
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193. But you are an ogre... Aren't you?
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194. Yeah, well, I... I used to be.
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195. Look, move out or get crushed.
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196. So you're not gonna eat me?
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197. No, thanks. I already had a big bowl
of curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.
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198. Wait up! What's your rush?
Where you going?
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199. Nowhere.
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200. What a coincidence!
I was just heading that way myself.
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201. But, seriously,
let me give you a ride. I insist.
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202. Come on. It's the least I can do
after all you've done for me.
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203. I got a hot rat cooking.
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204. All right! Can I interest you
in a mudslide? Slug and tonic?
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205. A liquid libation
to ease that frustration?
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206. - Eyeball-tini?
- Well, maybe just one.
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207. So the centaur says,
"That's not the half I'm talking about."
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208. I gotta say, Shrek, I envy you.
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209. To live the life of an ogre...
no worries, no responsibilities.
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210. You are free to pillage
and terrorize as you please.
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211. - Free? That's a laugh.
- Oh, yeah?
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212. Sometimes I wish I had just one day
to feel like a real ogre again.
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213. Why didn't you say so?
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214. Magical transactions are my specialty!
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215. Great. Next to mimes,
magicians are my favourite people.
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216. Hold on.
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217. "King for a Month."
"Knight for a Week."
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218. Ogre for a day.
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219. Think about it, Shrek.
To be feared and hated.
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220. You'll be, like, "Roar!"
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221. And the villagers will be, like, "Get
away! It's Shrek! I'm so scared of him!"
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222. It would be just like the good old days,
when your swamp was your castle.
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223. - When the world made sense.
- All right, what's the catch?
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224. Catch? No. There's no catch.
No catchings, really.
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225. I mean, there's something.
Small thing. Nothing. A little thing.
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226. All right, I knew it.
So what do you want?
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227. - A day-
- A day-
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228. Rat's done!
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229. To make the magic work, you gotta
give something to get something.
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230. In this case, you gotta
give a day to get a day. That's all.
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231. I can't just pick up
and leave my family.
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232. But that's the best part, Shrek!
It's a magical contract.
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233. No one will even know you're gone.
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234. And by the time this day is up,
you are gonna feel like a changed ogre.
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235. Still, I don't know.
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236. Hey, no problem.
Forget it, no big D. Doesn't matter.
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237. Do you like white meat or dark meat?
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238. So what day would I have to give up?
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239. I don't know, any day.
A day from your past.
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240. A day you had the flu?
A day you lost a pet?
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241. A day some meddling oaf
stuck his nose where it didn't belong
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242. destroying your business
and ruining your life?
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243. Just for an example.
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244. How about the day I met Donkey?
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245. Now, there's a day
I'd like to take back.
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246. I don't know who that is.
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247. I know. What about a day
you wouldn't even remember?
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248. Like a day when you were a baby.
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249. - An innocent, mindless little baby.
- Take any of those days you want.
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250. - Take them all for all I care.
- Oh, just one will do.
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251. OK, good.
A day from your childhood it is.
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252. I guess there's nothing wrong
with wanting a little time for myself.
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253. Just 24 tiny little hours.
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254. - I'm still my own ogre!
- Yeah, you is!
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255. I never needed to ask
for anyone's permission before.
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256. So why start now?
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257. Go on, Shrek.
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258. Sign it!
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259. Go on, Shrek.
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260. Sign it, Shrek! Sign it!
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261. You signed it.
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262. So, tell me. What happens now?
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263. Have a nice day.
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264. I think I fell on my keys.
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265. There are 40 children in that shoe,
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266. which is why the weasel
goes pop to this very day.
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267. Oh, great.
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268. As we head over the river
and through the woods...
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269. Ogre!
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270. Kill the ogre! Kill the ogre!
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271. This is the part where you run away!
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272. Sure is great to be wanted again.
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273. Nice one.
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274. Fiona?
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275. Oh, no.
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276. My home.
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277. Fiona!
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278. Fiona! Are you in there?
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279. All right, Rumpel!
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280. This wasn't part of the deal!
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281. Rumpel!
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282. Ogre!
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283. We've got another one, ladies! Get him!
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284. Who are you?
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285. What are you doing in my swamp?
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286. Looks like a troublemaker!
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287. Spread 'em!
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288. Nice job, ladies!
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289. You witches are making a big mistake!
I know my rights!
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290. You have the right to shut your mouth!
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291. Donkey, stop with the singing, will you?
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292. donkey!
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293. Donkey, where am I? What's happening?
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294. Quiet down there! Oh, I hate this song.
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295. I'm driving,
so I'm in charge of the music.
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296. Will you witches make up your mind?
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297. Donkey? What's going on?
Do you know where Fiona is?
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298. Quiet, ogre! You're gonna get me
in trouble and I need this job.
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299. I am not going back to work
for Old MacDonald.
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300. Tell me 1:0 E-I-E-I-O.
"E-I-E-I-NO!" That's what I said.
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301. Where are my babies?
And where's your wife, Dragon?
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302. Look, I think you have me confused
with some other talking donkey.
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303. I've never seen you before in my life.
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304. Never seen me before?
Come on, Donkey!
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305. And how do you
know my name anyway?
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306. It's me, Shrek. Your best friend?
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307. A donkey and an ogre friends?
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308. That's the most
ridiculous thing I ever heard!
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309. Can you at least tell me
where they're taking me?
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310. To the same place they take
every ogre. To Rumpelstiltskin.
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311. - Stiltskin!
- I said quiet!
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312. Oh, no.
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313. It's time to crumble!
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314. Place your bets!
Place your bets! We start tout de suite!
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315. Yeah!
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316. Gingy?
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317. Gingy snap!
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318. There's one!
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319. Disgusting, filthy ogre!
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320. Hideous monster!
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321. Filthy, filthy creature!
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322. Disgusting creature!
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323. Move it!
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324. Don't worry, Donkey.
I'll get us our lives back.
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325. Yeah, right. Put a little mustard
on mine, Captain Crazy!
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326. Mr Stiltskin?
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327. You got another customer.
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328. - Wolfie!
- Yes, Mr Stiltskin.
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329. Bring me my business wig.
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330. Mr Stiltskin, please!
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331. - OK, go.
- Please make me a real boy!
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332. Go away! Terms are
in the details, balsa boy.
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333. Sayonara, termites! Hello, acne!
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334. Stiltskin!
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335. Shrek!
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336. There he is!
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337. So close!
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338. Have I been waiting for you!
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339. Ladies, this is the guy
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340. that made all of this possible!
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341. So, tell me, how are you
enjoying your day?
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342. All right, Rumpel, what's going on?
What have you done?
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343. No, Shrek, it's not what I've done.
It's what you've done.
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344. Thanks to you, the King and Queen
signed their kingdom over to me.
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345. They would never do that.
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346. They would if I promised them
all their problems would disappear.
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347. And then they disappeared!
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348. They would have done anything
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349. if they thought it would
end their daughter's curse.
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350. I ended Fiona's curse!
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351. How could you when you never existed?
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352. You better start making sense,
you dirty little man!
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353. Here, let me spell it out for you!
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354. You gave me a day from your past,
a day you couldn't even remember.
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355. A day when you were
an innocent, mindless little baby.
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356. You took the day I was born.
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357. No, Shrek. You gave it to me.
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358. Enjoy this while you can, Stiltskin,
because when this day is up...
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359. But you haven't heard the best part.
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360. Since you were never born, once
this day comes to an end, so will you.
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361. Where's Fiona?
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362. Where's my family?
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363. Silly little ogre.
You don't get it, do you?
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364. You see, you were never born.
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365. You never met Fiona.
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366. Your kids don't exist.
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367. How's that for a metaphysical paradox?
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368. Looks like you got
exactly what you wanted!
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369. " Happy Ogre Day!
' Rumpel!
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370. Get him, witches!
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371. You know what'd help morale
around here? Flip-flop Fridays.
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372. Feet be comfortable
with the breeze on your toes.
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373. Come on, girls!
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374. Lock all the doors,
you worthless witches! Do it!
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375. I'll be right back, Donkey!
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376. I don't know you! I don't know him!
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377. I'm glad I'm not you.
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378. Help me! Help!
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379. Help!
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380. No, not my pretty ball!
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381. Watch out!
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382. Wolfie?
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383. MY angry wig.
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384. Help! I've been kidnapped
by a deranged, unbalanced ogre!
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385. Donkey! Get off of me!
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386. Watch it with your pointy hooves!
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387. - Just take my wallet!
- Hey!
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388. I'm being ass-napped!
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389. Animal cruelty! Help!
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390. You need to calm down!
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391. I'm your friend.
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392. I'm not gonna hurt you, all right?
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393. Good. I'm gonna let go...
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394. right... now.
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395. Please! Eat my face last!
Send my hooves to my mama!
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396. Donkey! You've got to trust me.
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397. - Why should I trust you?
- Because...
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398. Because".
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399. OK.
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400. Fine! Go ahead!
Run away! Who needs you?
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401. I've never seen an ogre cry.
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402. I'm not crying.
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403. It's nothing to be ashamed of.
I cry all the time.
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404. Just thinking about my grandma,
or thinking about baby kittens,
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405. or my grandma kissing a baby kitten,
or a little baby grandma kitten.
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406. - That is so darn sad.
- I said, I'm not crying!
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407. Take it easy, I'm only trying to help.
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408. It's none of my business
why you're upset.
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409. By the way, why are you upset?
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410. I was tricked into signing something
I shouldn't have.
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411. You signed up for one of them
time-shares, huh?
Copy !req
412. No. I signed this.
Copy !req
413. You should never sign a contract
with Rumpelstiltskin!
Copy !req
414. Yeah, I got that.
Copy !req
415. - His fine print is crafty.
- I know.
Copy !req
416. - His exit clauses are sneaky.
- Yeah, I...
Copy !req
417. - What did you say?
- I'm talking about the exit clause.
Copy !req
418. Used to be, you had to guess his name,
Copy !req
419. but now everybody knows
who Rumpelstiltskin is.
Copy !req
420. Donkey, I've read the fine print.
Copy !req
421. There's nothing
about an exit clause in here.
Copy !req
422. Well, you didn't expect him
to make it easy for you.
Copy !req
423. Here, let me show you how it's done.
Copy !req
424. I didn't spend all that time
around them witches
Copy !req
425. without picking up a few tricks.
Copy !req
426. Your tiny, little ogre brain
couldn't begin to comprehend
Copy !req
427. the complexity
of my polygonic foldability skills.
Copy !req
428. What are you doing?
Copy !req
429. Hey, I can't get my origami on
unless you back off.
Copy !req
430. Thank you. OK, here's what you
gotta do. You fold this piece here,
Copy !req
431. make this letter match up here,
bring this corner here,
Copy !req
432. and if you do it just right,
it will show you what to do. There!
Copy !req
433. "Try Lou's Bliss."
Copy !req
434. Who's Lou?
Copy !req
435. Give me that!
Copy !req
436. "True Love's Kiss."
Copy !req
437. You have to take me to dinner first.
Copy !req
438. "According to fairy tale law,
if not fully satisfied,
Copy !req
439. true love's kiss will render
this contract null and void."
Copy !req
440. Donkey, you did it! Look at you!
Copy !req
441. If Fiona and I share true love's kiss,
I will get my life back!
Copy !req
442. OK! This isn't a petting zoo!
So where is this Fiona?
Copy !req
443. Well, that's just it, you see.
Copy !req
444. I don't know.
Copy !req
445. You know, when I lose something,
I always try to retrace my steps.
Copy !req
446. So... where did you leave her last?
Copy !req
447. The last time I saw her,
Copy !req
448. I told her I wished
I'd never rescued her.
Copy !req
449. - Oh, no.
- Shrek?
Copy !req
450. Shrek! Shrek, wait! Wait, Shrek!
Copy !req
451. What, are you crazy?
That's the Dragon's Keep!
Copy !req
452. They keep dragons in there!
Copy !req
453. OK, yeah, fine! Go ahead!
Copy !req
454. I'm gonna just hang back here
and find us some breakfast!
Copy !req
455. Fiona!
Copy !req
456. Oh, no.
Copy !req
457. If I didn't save Fiona...
Copy !req
458. then who did?
Copy !req
459. This is the favour Fiona was
supposed to give me on the day we met.
Copy !req
460. It's a symbol of our love.
Copy !req
461. Now smell it!
Copy !req
462. Hey, man, get that dirty
favour out of my face!
Copy !req
463. Your nose is the only chance
I have of tracking down my wife,
Copy !req
464. so stop complaining and start smelling.
Copy !req
465. Smell it! Get it! Away you go, girl!
Copy !req
466. Do I look like a bloodhound to you?
Copy !req
467. In case you haven't noticed,
I'm a donkey, not a dog!
Copy !req
468. If I was a dog, they'd call me Dog,
not Donkey!
Copy !req
469. And another thing...
Copy !req
470. Wait a minute.
Copy !req
471. I think I got something.
Copy !req
472. - Whatever it is, it's sweet.
- Fiona.
Copy !req
473. Luscious and tasty.
Copy !req
474. Hey! That's my wife
you're talking about.
Copy !req
475. donkey!
Copy !req
476. Yeah! Waffles!
Copy !req
477. And I thought the Waffle Fairy
was just a bedtime story.
Copy !req
478. Sticky stacks of golden,
syrupy deliciousness!
Copy !req
479. Donkey! Don't eat that!
Copy !req
480. There's a stack of freshly made waffles
in the middle of the forest.
Copy !req
481. Don't you find that
a wee bit suspicious?
Copy !req
482. Oh, you... I'm just... What are you...?
Copy !req
483. Bad Donkey! Mustn't.
Copy !req
484. I said, don't! Don't!
No! Get away from it.
Copy !req
485. You did.
Copy !req
486. Look out!
Copy !req
487. donkey!
Copy !req
488. - Are you OK?
- I'm fine.
Copy !req
489. Donkey.
Copy !req
490. Help! Help me!
Copy !req
491. Help, Shrek! Help!
Copy !req
492. Watch your head.
Copy !req
493. Hey, it's a new guy!
Copy !req
494. Look at him, all dressed up
in his Sunday vest.
Copy !req
495. He's really tiny, isn't he?
Copy !req
496. Yeah. Fate has delivered us
a comrade-in-arms
Copy !req
497. and for that, we are thankful.
Suit him up!
Copy !req
498. - Let's go, greenie.
- Now, wait a minute!
Copy !req
499. - Hey!
- Here you go.
Copy !req
500. - Welcome to the resistance.
- Resistance?
Copy !req
501. We fight for freedom
and ogres everywhere!
Copy !req
502. I didn't know we could do that.
Copy !req
503. Help! You can't eat me! I got the mange!
Copy !req
504. - I'm poisonous! I'm all poi...
- I'll take him! This order's to go.
Copy !req
505. Hey! I haven't removed his giblets yet.
Copy !req
506. Trust me, you don't want
to eat this one.
Copy !req
507. I go down smooth,
but come out fighting!
Copy !req
508. - Let go!
- Don't make Mama mad.
Copy !req
509. Your dinner is my friend!
Copy !req
510. - Come on, guys!
- I got to get the giblets out!
Copy !req
511. - She's back.
- There she is.
Copy !req
512. Fiona!
Copy !req
513. I'm so happy I found you!
Copy !req
514. Maybe you missed orientation,
Copy !req
515. but for future reference,
personal space is very important to me.
Copy !req
516. You don't know who I am, do you?
Copy !req
517. No.
Copy !req
518. Brogan, I have news from Far Far Away.
Copy !req
519. Gather the others
and meet me in the war room.
Copy !req
520. Gretched, make sure everyone
is prepared to move out tonight.
Copy !req
521. - I need to talk to you.
- What is it?
Copy !req
522. OK, I know you don't
remember me, but...
Copy !req
523. we're married. Hear me out.
Copy !req
524. And at the birthday party
with some pigs and a puppet,
Copy !req
525. the villagers wanted me
to sign their pitchforks,
Copy !req
526. and this boy kept saying,
"Do the roar."
Copy !req
527. Then I punched the cakes that the
pigs ate and the next thing I knew,
Copy !req
528. my donkey fell in your waffle hole.
Copy !req
529. Right? Who's with me?
Copy !req
530. I guess I must have kicked him
harder than I thought.
Copy !req
531. Fiona, I need to...
Copy !req
532. Witches! All right, everyone,
you know the drill!
Copy !req
533. - Fiona!
- Witches! Oh, no!
Copy !req
534. - Witches! Witches!
- Come on, now.
Copy !req
535. Fiona, that's the third patrol today.
We can't hide forever.
Copy !req
536. Trust me, Brogan.
After tonight, we won't have to.
Copy !req
537. - That's your wife?
- That's my wife.
Copy !req
538. Well, I see who wears the chain mail
in your family!
Copy !req
539. Some people like to look
at the goblet as... as half empty.
Copy !req
540. Me, I like to look at it as half full.
Copy !req
541. We've gone from the bottom
to the top, ladies.
Copy !req
542. But we're not just an empire.
Copy !req
543. We're a family.
Copy !req
544. Everyone has got their cupcake?
Cupcake, cupcake? Good. Yes? Baba?
Copy !req
545. Good.
Copy !req
546. Yeah, you know, we have
put away a lot of ogres.
Copy !req
547. And so one got away.
Who cares? It's not a big deal.
Copy !req
548. It doesn't matter to me.
Copy !req
549. It's not like it's the end of the world.
Copy !req
550. Except... funny thing.
Copy !req
551. Now that I think about it,
the ogre who got away is Shrek!
Copy !req
552. And if he shares a kiss
with Fiona by sunrise,
Copy !req
553. it is the end of the world! Our world!
Copy !req
554. My empire!
Copy !req
555. But, as I was saying,
Copy !req
556. I like to look at the goblet
as half full.
Copy !req
557. Yelling makes me so parched.
Copy !req
558. Would anyone care for some water?
Wet your whistle?
Copy !req
559. A clear, crisp, delicious glass...
Copy !req
560. of agua purificada?
Copy !req
561. Anybody's thirsty?
Nobody's thirsty? No?
Copy !req
562. Well, then does anyone care to tell me
Copy !req
563. what it's going to take
to get this ogre? You.
Copy !req
564. Faster brooms?
Copy !req
565. - No!
- Pointier hats?
Copy !req
566. - No! You!
- Maybe we could hire
Copy !req
567. a professional bounty hunter?
Copy !req
568. What a world! What a world!
Copy !req
569. You know, actually
not a bad idea. Baba!
Copy !req
570. I need a bounty hunter.
Copy !req
571. And if music doth
soothe the savage beast...
Copy !req
572. then I think I might know
just the person!
Copy !req
573. Listen up, everyone.
Word has come from Far Far Away.
Copy !req
574. Stiltskin is leading
tonight's ogre hunt himself.
Copy !req
575. - He's never done that before.
- What? Why?
Copy !req
576. I bet that's because of us.
Copy !req
577. If that cupcake-eating clown
Copy !req
578. finally leaves the safety
of his filthy witch nest...
Copy !req
579. he'll be vulnerable.
Copy !req
580. The plan's simple.
If they follow the usual patrol route,
Copy !req
581. they'll reach the river by midnight.
Copy !req
582. We'll be concealed along this road,
waiting for his caravan.
Copy !req
583. Once they reach the clearing,
I'll give the signal.
Copy !req
584. And then we attack!
Copy !req
585. And when the smoke clears...
Wait, what's this?
Copy !req
586. That's my chimichanga stand.
Copy !req
587. No, Cookie. We won't be needing that.
Copy !req
588. Trust me, Fiona. Y'all gonna be
really hungry after this ambush, OK?
Copy !req
589. Go and finish your little speech.
Copy !req
590. All right, as I was saying,
when the smoke clears,
Copy !req
591. Rumpelstiltskin is gone
and the chimichangas have been eaten.
Copy !req
592. Far Far Away will finally be free.
Copy !req
593. - And so will we.
- Spread the word.
Copy !req
594. We move out as soon as
Rumpel leaves the palace.
Copy !req
595. - Man, this is serious!
- Tell me about it.
Copy !req
596. How am I ever gonna
get her to kiss me before sunrise?
Copy !req
597. Actually, I was talking
about the revolution.
Copy !req
598. Revolution?
Copy !req
599. Why don't you just
tell her what you told me?
Copy !req
600. About how you're her true love and
you came from an alternate universe.
Copy !req
601. Well, while I'm at it,
why don't I tell her
Copy !req
602. that you're married
to a fire-breathing dragon
Copy !req
603. and you have little, mutant
donkey-dragon babies.
Copy !req
604. I do?
Copy !req
605. You saw what happened.
She's gonna think I'm crazy.
Copy !req
606. I'm a daddy?
Copy !req
607. You know what?
If I got Fiona to kiss me once...
Copy !req
608. then I can do it again.
Copy !req
609. Shrek, do my babies
have hooves or talons?
Copy !req
610. Donkey . . .!
Copy !req
611. Hello?
Copy !req
612. Fiona?
Copy !req
613. You should not be here, senor.
Copy !req
614. Puss?
Copy !req
615. You've gotta be kidding me.
Copy !req
616. Feed me, if you dare.
Copy !req
617. Puss, what happened to you?
You got so fa...
Copy !req
618. - ... fancy.
- Do I know you?
Copy !req
619. Well, where's your hat?
Where's your belt?
Copy !req
620. Your wee little boots?
Copy !req
621. Boots? For a cat? Ha!
Copy !req
622. But you're Puss in Boots.
Copy !req
623. Maybe once.
Copy !req
624. But that is a name I have outgrown.
Copy !req
625. That's not the only thing
you've outgrown.
Copy !req
626. Hey! I may have let myself go
a little since retirement,
Copy !req
627. but hanging up my sword
was the best decision of my life.
Copy !req
628. I have all the cream I can drink
and all the mice I can chase.
Copy !req
629. I'll get him later.
Copy !req
630. Puss, what have I done to you?
Copy !req
631. You've gone soft.
Copy !req
632. Well, I do get brushed twice a day.
Copy !req
633. Look, it's not too late to fix it.
Copy !req
634. All you have to do is help me
get a kiss from Fiona.
Copy !req
635. What are you doing?
Can I help you with something?
Copy !req
636. Well, I know how stressful
mounting a rebellion can be...
Copy !req
637. rallying the troops,
planning attacks,
Copy !req
638. so I brought you a little something
to ease the tension.
Copy !req
639. A gift basket?
Copy !req
640. You're welcome.
So let's see what you got.
Copy !req
641. Heart-shaped box of slugs.
Copy !req
642. Skunk-scented candle.
Copy !req
643. - Look, this really isn't the...
- What's this? Coupons!
Copy !req
644. Let's see,
"Good for one free foot massage."
Copy !req
645. "A mud facial!"
Oh, and here's one...
Copy !req
646. "Good for one free kiss."
Let's cash it now.
Copy !req
647. Look, I don't know
what this is all about,
Copy !req
648. but I'm trying to run a revolution.
Copy !req
649. So unless you have
Rumpelstiltskin's head in there,
Copy !req
650. I suggest you take your gift basket,
Copy !req
651. get out of my tent
and go make yourself useful!
Copy !req
652. Wow. You're right. I am sorry.
Copy !req
653. I was just trying to be friendly.
No hard feelings?
Copy !req
654. An apologetic hug?
Copy !req
655. And a quick kiss goodbye.
Copy !req
656. Hey!
Copy !req
657. Wait! Is that mistletoe I see?
Copy !req
658. Hey, Shrek! Are my babies cute, or do
they make people feel uncomfortable?
Copy !req
659. - Where'd we find that guy?
- Could it be true?
Copy !req
660. Have the years of prim
and pampery made me soft?
Copy !req
661. Don't be silly.
Now who's a pretty kitty?
Copy !req
662. I am.
Copy !req
663. Daddy thinks you look real nice, Fifi.
Copy !req
664. Honk.
Copy !req
665. All right, Piggies, be gone!
Copy !req
666. Don't forget to take
her little potty box with you.
Copy !req
667. This little piggy wants to go home!
Copy !req
668. - Mr Stiltskin! He's here.
- Nice.
Copy !req
669. Pied Piper. How was your commute?
Copy !req
670. Good.
Copy !req
671. You call this guy a bounty hunter?
Copy !req
672. What's he gonna do,
flute those ogres a lullaby?
Copy !req
673. OK, got it!
Copy !req
674. Make it stop!
Copy !req
675. All right, that's enough.
Copy !req
676. Looks like it's time to pay the piper.
Copy !req
677. Griselda, seriously,
it's time to pay the piper.
Copy !req
678. Now go get my chequebook!
Go! Move! Get out!
Copy !req
679. Things are getting
real sloppy around here!
Copy !req
680. Here, now make sure they eat up!
Copy !req
681. You can't end tyranny on
an empty stomach! Go on! Go!
Copy !req
682. Din-din!
Copy !req
683. - Come on, Donkey.
- One more time, please?
Copy !req
684. All right, but this is the last time.
Copy !req
685. Here it comes. Look at him.
Copy !req
686. I see you!
Copy !req
687. That's quite a friend you've got there.
Copy !req
688. I can see why you haven't eaten him.
Copy !req
689. Donkey! I hate to pull you away
from your adoring public,
Copy !req
690. but I'm not getting anywhere with Fiona.
Copy !req
691. - I need your help!
- Hey, everybody. Who wants dessert?
Copy !req
692. - Where'd you get these?
- Fiona's garbage.
Copy !req
693. Just another gift from some
clueless lover boy.
Copy !req
694. That's a good one, Cookie!
Copy !req
695. Anyone who knows Fiona knows
this stuff ain't gonna work on her.
Copy !req
696. Works on me.
Copy !req
697. Donkey, what am I gonna do?
It's like I don't even know her.
Copy !req
698. You in trouble, Romeo. The only thing
Fiona cares about is her cause.
Copy !req
699. - To the cause!
- To the cause!
Copy !req
700. All right!
Copy !req
701. Hello!
Copy !req
702. - Nice moves.
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
703. What does it look like?
I'm getting ready for ambush action.
Copy !req
704. Oh, yeah.
I always like to quad my lutes
Copy !req
705. and do some scrunches
before an operational... op.
Copy !req
706. This one taken?
Copy !req
707. We use that to clean the toilets.
Copy !req
708. And we use that one to clean
the thing we clean the toilets with.
Copy !req
709. I knew that.
Copy !req
710. There you go, chief.
Copy !req
711. Hey... Scott?
Copy !req
712. My name is Shrek, actually.
Copy !req
713. You're going to get yourself killed
at the ambush tonight.
Copy !req
714. I'll be fine.
I think I can take care of myself...
Copy !req
715. Well, let's see about that.
Copy !req
716. Hey! Hey... Hey!
Copy !req
717. What the...?
Copy !req
718. Fiona?
Copy !req
719. I got it.
Copy !req
720. Give me your hand.
Copy !req
721. The dragon goes under the bridge,
Copy !req
722. through the loop and finally...
Copy !req
723. Into the castle.
Copy !req
724. Wow.
Copy !req
725. OK. Good.
Copy !req
726. It seems like you can handle yourself.
Copy !req
727. - But, Fiona...
- Go get ready for the mission!
Copy !req
728. - I will, but Fiona...
- That's an order!
Copy !req
729. All right, let's get those axes
sharpened and weapons packed!
Copy !req
730. Preparation is half the battle!
Copy !req
731. Ogre! Un memento! Un momenta!
Copy !req
732. Ogre, ogre, un momenta!
Copy !req
733. Just give me a minute.
Copy !req
734. Look, Puss, I'm a little
pressed for time.
Copy !req
735. I am not believing
what I have just witnessed.
Copy !req
736. Back there, you and Fiona.
Copy !req
737. There was a spark...
a spark inside her heart
Copy !req
738. I thought was long extinguished.
Copy !req
739. It was as if, for one moment,
Fiona had actually found her true love!
Copy !req
740. I am her true love. I ended her curse.
Copy !req
741. You know of her curse?
Copy !req
742. By day, one way, by night another.
Copy !req
743. This shall be the norm.
Copy !req
744. Until you find true love's first kiss...
Copy !req
745. and then take love's true form.
Copy !req
746. You even know the little rhyme!
Copy !req
747. It is true! You are the one!
You must prove it to her!
Copy !req
748. - How?
- Convince her!
Copy !req
749. Go to her when she is alone
Copy !req
750. and tell her something
that only her true love would know.
Copy !req
751. Know about what?
Copy !req
752. Whoa! That's a whole lot of kitty!
Shrek, can we keep him?
Copy !req
753. Excuse me. Corning through!
Copy !req
754. Pardon me, guys! Watch your back.
Copy !req
755. Look, Donkey,
the chimichanga cart! Quick!
Copy !req
756. Andale! After him, burro!
Donkey, vámonos!
Copy !req
757. Man, you are a cat-astrophe!
Copy !req
758. And you are ri-donkey-lous!
Copy !req
759. I'll scout ahead. Wait for my signal.
Copy !req
760. Secure your positions!
Copy !req
761. - It's quite a view from up here.
- What are you doing?
Copy !req
762. Get back in position!
Copy !req
763. You need to know,
once and for all, who I really am.
Copy !req
764. You are going to ruin everything!
Copy !req
765. Ruin everything?
Actually, I'm gonna fix everything...
Copy !req
766. The ogres, Rumpel, your curse.
Copy !req
767. How do you know about my curse?
Copy !req
768. OK, OK, please, Fiona...
Just hear me out.
Copy !req
769. I can explain everything.
Copy !req
770. - Where's Fiona's signal?
- What's she waiting for?
Copy !req
771. - He's going to get away!
- No, he's not.
Copy !req
772. Listen, I don't know who you are
or how you know about my curse,
Copy !req
773. but if any of these ogres
find out I'm...
Copy !req
774. - A beautiful princess?
- That is not who I am! Not anymore.
Copy !req
775. - Look, I know you're upset.
- You don't know anything about me.
Copy !req
776. I know everything about you.
Copy !req
777. I know you sing so beautifully
that birds explode.
Copy !req
778. - Big deal.
- I know that when you sign your name,
Copy !req
779. - you put a heart over the "I".
- So what?
Copy !req
780. I know that when
you see a shooting star,
Copy !req
781. you cross your fingers on both hands,
Copy !req
782. squinch up your nose
and you make a wish.
Copy !req
783. I know that you don't like the covers
wrapped around your feet,
Copy !req
784. and I know that you sleep by candlelight
Copy !req
785. because every time
you close your eyes...
Copy !req
786. you're afraid you're gonna
wake up back in that tower.
Copy !req
787. But, most importantly, Fiona...
Copy !req
788. I know that the reason
you turn human every day...
Copy !req
789. is because you've
never been kissed...
Copy !req
790. well...
Copy !req
791. by me.
Copy !req
792. - You move fast.
- It's not me doing the moving.
Copy !req
793. - Why is this happening?
- Love?
Copy !req
794. - No, I'm being forced to dance!
- By love!
Copy !req
795. No, I can't stop myself!
Copy !req
796. Please! Make it stop!
Copy !req
797. I can't control myself!
Copy !req
798. Yeah! Cookie's bringing
the heat out of the kitchen!
Copy !req
799. Oh, no! It's the Piper!
Copy !req
800. I can't believe I let this happen,
and it's all because of you!
Copy !req
801. - If you'd just let me kiss you!
- What? You're insane!
Copy !req
802. We must do something before
they fandango themselves into oblivion!
Copy !req
803. - What can we do?
- First, you must stop dancing!
Copy !req
804. When somebody tooties that flutey,
I got to shake my booty!
Copy !req
805. Then it's up to me!
Copy !req
806. Hurry! We must get them
away from the music!
Copy !req
807. Puss and Donkey to the rescue!
We saved the day!
Copy !req
808. Donkey... Can I borrow your tongue?
Copy !req
809. Say What?
Copy !req
810. No. Hell...
Copy !req
811. I don't care how big your eyes get,
player, it's not going down.
Copy !req
812. All right!
Copy !req
813. Stop!
Copy !req
814. - Where are you going?
- To save my friends.
Copy !req
815. - How, by getting yourself killed?
- If that's what it takes.
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816. Puss, say something.
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817. - Puss?
- Let me explain.
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818. That's how you knew so much about me.
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819. - Fiona, wait! Kiss me.
- What?
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820. It's the only way to save your friends.
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821. Get out of my way.
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822. You used to believe that a single kiss
could solve everything!
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823. I don't understand.
This doesn't make any sense.
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824. True love's kiss
was supposed to fix everything!
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825. Yeah, you know,
that's what they told me, too.
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826. True love didn't get me
out of that tower.
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827. I did. I saved myself.
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828. Don't you get it?
It's all just a big fairy tale.
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829. Fiona, don't say that. It does exist!
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830. How would you know?
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831. Did you grow up locked away
in a dragon's keep?
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832. Did you live all alone
in a miserable tower?
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833. Did you cry yourself
to sleep every night,
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834. waiting for a true love
that never came?
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835. But... But I'm your true love.
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836. Then where were you
when I needed you?
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837. Maybe you kissed her wrong?
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838. No.
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839. The kiss didn't work...
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840. because Fiona doesn't love me.
Copy !req
841. Don't despair, fellow ogres!
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842. They can put us in cages,
but they can't cage our honour!
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843. Shrek and Fiona are together?
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844. Yeah, I've heard enough of
your toot-a-lee-toots! You blew it!
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845. Wolfie! My speech wig.
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846. Baba! Ready my makeup.
And Piper, pull my socks up.
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847. Tight.
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848. Attention, citizens.
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849. Please stay tuned for a message
from our tyrannical dictator!
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850. Hello, people.
It is I, Rumpelstiltskin...
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851. shepherd of your dreams.
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852. Recently, a certain somebody
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853. has jeopardized our joyous lives.
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854. And that somebody
is the rat-munching ogre called Shrek!
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855. That is why I come to you,
dear citizens.
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856. For whomever brings me this ogre,
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857. shall receive the deal of a lifetime.
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858. Just think of it! Total and
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859. - complete happiness.
- Ya!
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860. Dazzling, radiant fulfillment!
All your greatest wishes.
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861. - Yeah!
- Your wildest dreams.
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862. Anything you could ever want!
No strings attached!
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863. But hurry, this is a limited time offer.
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864. So light your torches, sharpen
your pitchforks and get your mob on!
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865. Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
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866. Go back where you came from!
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867. It seems that we are safe.
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868. Yeah, it looks a lot less pitchforky
and torchy out there. Let's go.
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869. What's the point?
The kiss didn't work. It's over.
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870. Look, Shrek, I know things
might seem a little bleak right now,
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871. but things always work themselves
out in the end, you'll see.
Copy !req
872. - I bet by this time tomorrow...
- Don't you understand?
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873. There is no tomorrow.
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874. There's no day after that, and there's
no day after that day after that!
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875. My life was perfect
and I'm never going to get it back!
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876. If your life was so perfect, Why'd you
sign it away to Rumpelstiltskin?
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877. Because I didn't know
what I had until it was gone! All right?
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878. I didn't know what I had.
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879. Surrender now! I'm taking you in!
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880. Don't try to fight it, ogre!
The reward is mine!
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881. Gingy?
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882. - You unhand me, green devil!
- What are you doing?
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883. Collecting my bounty!
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884. - Bounty?
- What are you talking about, cracker?
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885. Rumpelstiltskin promised
the deal of a lifetime
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886. - for whoever could bring you in.
- Deal of a lifetime?
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887. Where all your wishes come true.
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888. Wait a minute.
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889. - I can still fix this.
- How you gonna do that?
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890. You know what? I'm gonna give
Rumpelstiltskin exactly what he wants.
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891. OK, Gingy, tell me about this...
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892. Were you going to eat that?
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893. Not Shrek. That is not Shrek.
Also not Shrek.
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894. That's not even an ogre,
it is a troll! Nice try.
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895. - And that...
- Roar.
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896. Is just sad.
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897. And what is that supposed to be?
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898. I'm just a frightened old man.
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899. Don't listen to him!
These ogres are crafty!
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900. That is your father painted green.
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901. No, it's Shrek! Honest!
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902. Take them away!
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903. Can no one bring me Shrek?
Where is he?
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904. How hard can it be?
I want him! I want him! I want him!
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905. Stiltskin!
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906. I hear you're looking for me.
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907. All right! Finally!
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908. Who turned him in?
Who gets the deal of a lifetime?
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909. - I do.
- What? But...
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910. If I'm turning myself in,
I get the deal of a lifetime.
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911. That means you have
to give me anything I want.
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912. No! Only true love's kiss
can break your contract!
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913. So if you thought you were just gonna...
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914. - ... in here and get your life back...
- I'm not here to get my life back.
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915. Then what do you want?
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916. The ogres. They are all free.
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917. But where is Shrek?
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918. This is not good.
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919. I don't know.
Not much of a storybook ending.
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920. The noble Shrek turns himself in
to save a bunch of filthy ogres.
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921. All that matters is that they're free...
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922. and Fiona is safe.
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923. I bet Fiona would be
really touched to hear that.
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924. But, hey...
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925. I guess you can tell her yourself.
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926. Fiona!
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927. Stiltskin, we had a deal!
You agreed to free all ogres!
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928. Oh, yeah.
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929. But Fiona isn't all ogre, is she?
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930. By day, one way, by night, another.
Blardy, blardy, blar.
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931. Nobody's smart but me!
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932. That was a really brave thing
you did, Shrek.
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933. Thank you.
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934. No, you were right.
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935. I wasn't there for you.
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936. And not just at
the Dragon's Keep, but...
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937. every day since.
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938. Well...
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939. you're here now.
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940. Let go of me! I have got to save Shrek!
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941. Don't be a fool, mule!
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942. She's right. Rumpel's palace
is locked up tighter
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943. - than Old Mother Hubbard's Cupboard.
- And that cupboard wasn't guarded
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944. by a whole bunch of
mean, ugly, nasty witches.
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945. Hey! We can hear you!
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946. Sorry!
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947. We must get into the palace.
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948. Man, Shrek and me
just busted out of that place!
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949. But how?
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950. The same way we're gonna bust in.
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951. Yay! My new pretty ball!
Didn't it look bigger in the catalogue?
Copy !req
952. I guess it'll have to do.
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953. Witches, finally, the moment
we've all been waiting for.
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954. The main event of the evening!
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955. I present Shrek and Fiona!
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956. And now, to put the past
behind us once and for all,
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957. I give you a princess's worst nightmare!
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958. Fiona's old flame,
the keeper of the keep...
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959. Dragon!
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960. - Donkey?
- And Puss!
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961. In Boots!
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962. Get them, get them, witches!
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963. Incoming!
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964. - Donkey, woo her!
- Woo who?
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965. Your wife!
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966. Uh-oh.
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967. I'll call you! We're in love!
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968. Fiona, hold on!
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969. Hey, you!
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970. - Chimichangas?
- Get 'em while they're hot!
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971. Jump!
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972. Now!
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973. The dragon goes under the bridge!
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974. Through the loop!
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975. And finally...
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976. Into the castle!
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977. Run!
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978. Foo!
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979. So long!
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980. Come on, Fifi, go!
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981. Go! Witches, close up the floor!
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982. Come on, Fifi, go! Flappity flap!
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983. Come on, go! Fly away! Up, up! Go!
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984. Fifi, no!
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985. Victory is ours!
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986. Looks like we're having
curly-toed weirdo for breakfast.
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987. Hey, we make a pretty good team.
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988. You have no idea.
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989. Shrek?
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990. His day is up. His day is...!
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991. Shrek?
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992. It's all right.
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993. There has to be something I can do.
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994. You've already done
everything for me, Fiona.
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995. You gave me a home and a family.
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996. You have kids?
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997. We have kids.
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998. Fergus, Farkle
and a little girl named...
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999. - ... Felicia.
- Felicia.
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1000. I always wanted to have
a daughter named Felicia.
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1001. And someday...
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1002. you will.
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1003. You know what the
best part of today was?
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1004. I got the chance to fall in love
with you all over again.
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1005. Fiona, the sunrise!
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1006. You're still... an ogre!
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1007. - True love's form.
- Impossible!
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1008. The kiss worked.
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1009. What?
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1010. Fifi!
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1011. Puss!
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1012. No, no, no!
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1013. No, not yet! I'm not ready! No, wait!
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1014. I love you, Daddy!
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1015. Shrek! Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
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1016. Everybody, I have found another cake!
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1017. Shrek? Are you OK?
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1018. Fiona. I've never been better.
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1019. Roar!
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1020. Happy Birthday, Farkle.
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1021. Fergus, my little man!
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1022. And Felicia, sweetheart.
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1023. I believe this is yours.
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1024. Thank you, Daddy.
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1025. Hey, Uncle Shrek! How about
giving my babies an encore!
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1026. Please, senor, let us have it!
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1027. - I didn't know we could do that.
- That's my best friend!
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1028. You know, I always thought
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1029. that I rescued you
from the Dragon's Keep.
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1030. You did.
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1031. No. It was you that rescued me.
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1032. Yummy!
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