1. "Once upon a time there was a lovely princessCopy !req
2. "But she had an enchantment upon her of a fearful sort...Copy !req
3. "which could only be broken by love's first kiss.Copy !req
4. "She was locked away in a castle...Copy !req
5. "guarded by a terrible fire-breathing dragon.Copy !req
6. "Many brave knights had attempted to free her from this deadful prison.Copy !req
7. "but none prevailed.Copy !req
8. "She waited in the dragon's keep...Copy !req
9. "in the highest room of the tallest tower...Copy !req
10. for her true love and true love's first kiss. "Copy !req
11. Like that's ever gonna happenCopy !req
12. - What a load of -Copy !req
13. Somebody once told me
the world is gonna roll meCopy !req
14. I ain't the sharpest tool
in the shedCopy !req
15. She was lookin' kind of dumb
with her finger and her thumbCopy !req
16. In the shape of an "L"
on the foreheadCopy !req
17. The years start comin'
and they don't stop commin'Copy !req
18. Fed to the rules
and I hit the ground runnin'Copy !req
19. Didn't make sense
not live for funCopy !req
20. Your brain gets smart
but your head gets dumbCopy !req
21. So much to do
So much to seeCopy !req
22. So what's wrong with
takin' the backstreetsCopy !req
23. You'll never know
if you don't goCopy !req
24. You'll never shine
if you don't glowCopy !req
25. Hey, now
You're an all-starCopy !req
26. Get your game on, go playCopy !req
27. Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paidCopy !req
28. And all that glitter is goldCopy !req
29. Only shootin' stars
break the mouldCopy !req
30. It's a cool place and they say it gets colderCopy !req
31. You're bundled up now but wait till you get olderCopy !req
32. But the meteor men beg to differCopy !req
33. Judging by the hole
in the satellite pictureCopy !req
34. The ice we skate
is gettin' pretty thinCopy !req
35. The water's getting warm
so you might as well swimCopy !req
36. My world's on fire
How 'bout yoursCopy !req
37. That's the way I like it
and I'll never get boredCopy !req
38. - Hey, now, you're an all-starCopy !req
39. Get your game on go playCopy !req
40. Hey, now you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paidCopy !req
41. And all that glitter is goldCopy !req
42. Only shootin' stars break the mouldCopy !req
43. - Go!
- Go!Copy !req
44. - Go. Go. Go.Copy !req
45. Hey, now You're an all-starCopy !req
46. Get your game on, go playCopy !req
47. Hey, now, you're a rock star
Get the show on, get paidCopy !req
48. And all that glitter is goldCopy !req
49. Only shootin' stars break the mouldCopy !req
50. - Think it's in there?
- All right. Let's get it!Copy !req
51. Whoa, Hold on. Do you know
what thing can do to you?Copy !req
52. Yeah, it'll grind
your bones for its bread.Copy !req
53. Yes, well, actually,
that would be a giant.Copy !req
54. Now, ogres-
They're much worse.Copy !req
55. They'll make a suit
from your freshly peeled skin.Copy !req
56. - No!
- They'll shave your liver.Copy !req
57. Squeeze the
jelly from your eyes!Copy !req
58. - Actualy, it's quite good on toast.
- Back! Back, beast!Copy !req
59. Back! I warn ya!Copy !req
60. - Right.Copy !req
61. This is the part
where you run away.Copy !req
62. And stay out!Copy !req
63. "Wanted. Fairy tale creatures. "Copy !req
64. All right. This one's fullCopy !req
65. - Take it away!Copy !req
66. - Move it along. Come on! Get up!
- Next!Copy !req
67. Give me that! Your flying days are over.Copy !req
68. That's 20 pieces of silver
for the witch. Next!Copy !req
69. - Get up! Come on!
- Twenty pieces.Copy !req
70. - Sit down there!Copy !req
71. - Keep quiet!Copy !req
72. This cage is too small.Copy !req
73. Please don't turn me in.
I'll never be stubborn again.Copy !req
74. I can change.
Please! Give ma another chance!Copy !req
75. - Oh, shut up.
- Oh! - Next!Copy !req
76. - What have you got?
- This little wooden puppet.Copy !req
77. I'm not a puppet. I'm a real boy.Copy !req
78. Five shillings for the possessed toy.Copy !req
79. - Take it away.
- Father, please! Don't let them do this!Copy !req
80. - Help me!
- Next. What have you got?Copy !req
81. - Well, I've got a talking donkey.Copy !req
82. Right. Well, that's good for
ten shillings, if you can prouve it.Copy !req
83. Oh, go ahead, little fella.Copy !req
84. Well?Copy !req
85. Oh, oh, he's just-
He's just a little nervous.Copy !req
86. He's really quite a chatterbox. Talk, you boneheaded dolt-Copy !req
87. - That's it. I've heard enough. Guards!
- No, no, he talks!Copy !req
88. He does. I can talk. I love to talk.Copy !req
89. I'm the talkingest
damn thing you ever saw.Copy !req
90. - Get her out of my sight.
- No, no!Copy !req
91. I swear! Oh! He can talk!Copy !req
92. Hey! I can fly!Copy !req
93. - He can fly!
- He can fly!Copy !req
94. - He can talk!
Ha, ha! That's right, fool!Copy !req
95. Now I'm a flying, talking donkey.Copy !req
96. Your right have seen a house fly
maybe even a super fly,Copy !req
97. but I bet you ain't never seen a donkey fly.Copy !req
98. Ha, ha!Copy !req
99. Uh-oh.Copy !req
100. Seize him!Copy !req
101. After him!
He's getting away!Copy !req
102. Get him! This way! Turn!Copy !req
103. You there. Ogre!Copy !req
104. Aye?Copy !req
105. By the order of Lord Farquaad, I am
authorized to place you under arrest...Copy !req
106. and transport you to
a designated... resettlement facility.Copy !req
107. Oh, really?
You and what army?Copy !req
108. Can I say something to you?Copy !req
109. Listen, you was really, really somethin'
back there. Incredible!Copy !req
110. Are you talkin' to-
me? Whoa!Copy !req
111. Yes, I was talkin' to you. Can I tell you
that you was great back there? Those guards!Copy !req
112. They thought they was all of that.
Then you showed up, and bam!Copy !req
113. They was trippin' over themselves
like babes in the woods.Copy !req
114. That really made me
feel good to see that.Copy !req
115. - Oh, that's great. Really.
- Man, it's good to be free.Copy !req
116. Now, why don't you go celebrate your
freedom with your own friends? Hmm?Copy !req
117. But, uh, I don't have any friends.Copy !req
118. And I'm not goin' out there by myself.Copy !req
119. Hey, wait a minute! I got
a great idea! I'll stick with you.Copy !req
120. You're a mean, green, fightin' machine.Copy !req
121. Together we'll scare
the spit out of anybody that crosses us.Copy !req
122. Oh, wow! That was really scary.Copy !req
123. If you don't mind me sayin' if that don(t work,
your breath certainly will get the job done,Copy !req
124. 'cause you definitely need some Tic Tacs
or something, 'cause your breath stinks!Copy !req
125. You almost burned the hair outta my nose,Copy !req
126. just like the time-Copy !req
127. Then I ate some rotten berries. I had
strong gases eking out of my butt that day.Copy !req
128. Why are you following me?Copy !req
129. I'll tell you why.Copy !req
130. 'Cause I'm all aloneCopy !req
131. There's no one here beside meCopy !req
132. My problems have all goneCopy !req
133. There's no one to deride meCopy !req
134. But you gotta have friend-Copy !req
135. Stop singing!Copy !req
136. It's no wonder
you don't have any friends.Copy !req
137. Wow. Only a true friend
would be that truly honest.Copy !req
138. Listen, little donkey.
Take a look at me. What am I?Copy !req
139. Uh-Copy !req
140. - Really tall?
- No! I'm an ogre.Copy !req
141. You know.
"Grab your torch and pitchforks. "Copy !req
142. Doesn't that bother you?Copy !req
143. Nope.Copy !req
144. - Really?
- Really, really.Copy !req
145. - Oh.
- Man, I like you. What's your name?Copy !req
146. Uh, Shrek.Copy !req
147. Shrek? Well, you know
what I like about you, Shrek?Copy !req
148. You got a kind of I-don't-care-what-nobody-
thinks-of-me thing.Copy !req
149. I like that.
I respect that, Shrek. You alright.Copy !req
150. Whoo! Look at that. Who'd want
to live in a place like that?Copy !req
151. That would be my home.Copy !req
152. Oh! And it is lovely!
Just beautiful.Copy !req
153. You are quite a decorator. It's amazing
what you've done with such a modest budget.Copy !req
154. I like that boulder.
That is a nice boulder.Copy !req
155. I guess you don't
entertain much, do you?Copy !req
156. I like my privacy.Copy !req
157. You know, I do too.
That's another thing we have in comon.Copy !req
158. Like, I hate it when
you got somebody in your face.Copy !req
159. You're trying to give them a hint, and they
won't leave. There's that awkward silence.Copy !req
160. - Can I stay with you?
- Uh, what?Copy !req
161. Can I stay with you, please?Copy !req
162. - Of course!
- Really?Copy !req
163. - No.
- Please! I don't wanna go back there!Copy !req
164. You don't know what it's like to be
considered a freak. Well, maybe you do.Copy !req
165. But that's why we gotta stick together. You gotta let me stay!Copy !req
166. - Please! Please!
- Okay! Okay!Copy !req
167. - But one night only.
- Ah! Thank you!Copy !req
168. - What are you- No! No!
- This is gonna be fun!Copy !req
169. We can stay up late, swappin' manly stories,Copy !req
170. and in the mornin' I'm makin' waffles.Copy !req
171. - Oh!
- Where do, uh, I sleep?Copy !req
172. Outside!Copy !req
173. Oh, well,
I guess that's cool.Copy !req
174. I mean, I don't know you,
and you don't know me,Copy !req
175. so I guess outside is best, you know.Copy !req
176. Here I go.Copy !req
177. Good night.Copy !req
178. I mean, I do like the outdoors.
I'm a donkey. I was born outside.Copy !req
179. I'll just be sitting by myself
outside, I guess, you know.Copy !req
180. By myself, outside.Copy !req
181. I'm all alone.
There's no one here beside meCopy !req
182. I thought I told you to stay outside.Copy !req
183. - I am outside.Copy !req
184. Well, gents, it's a far cry from
the farm, but what choice do we have?Copy !req
185. It's not home,
but it'll do just fine.Copy !req
186. What a lovely bed.Copy !req
187. - Got ya.
- I found some cheese.Copy !req
188. - Ow!
- Blah! Awful stuff.Copy !req
189. - Is that you, Gorder?
- How did you know?Copy !req
190. Enough!
What are you doing in my house?Copy !req
191. Hey!Copy !req
192. - Oh! no, no, no.Copy !req
193. - Dead broad off the table.
- Where are we supposed to put her? The bed's taken.Copy !req
194. Huh?Copy !req
195. What?Copy !req
196. I live in a swamp. I put up signs.
I'm a terrifying ogre!Copy !req
197. What do I have to do
to get a little privacy?Copy !req
198. - Aah!
- Oh, no.Copy !req
199. Oh, no.Copy !req
200. - No! No!Copy !req
201. - What?Copy !req
202. - Quit it.
- Don't push.Copy !req
203. What are you doing
in my swamp?Copy !req
204. Swamp! Swamp! Swamp!Copy !req
205. - Oh, dear!Copy !req
206. Whoa!Copy !req
207. All right, get out of here.
All of you, move it!Copy !req
208. Come on! Let's go!
Hapaya! Hapaya! Hey!Copy !req
209. - Quickly. Come on!
- No, no!Copy !req
210. No, no.
Not there. Not there.Copy !req
211. - Oh!Copy !req
212. Hey, don't look at me. I didn't invite them.Copy !req
213. Oh, gosh, no one invited us.Copy !req
214. - What?
- We were forced to come here.Copy !req
215. - By who?
- Lord Farquaad.Copy !req
216. He huffed und he puffed und he...
signed an eviction notice.Copy !req
217. All right.Copy !req
218. Who knows where
this Farquaad guy is?Copy !req
219. - Oh, I do. I know where he is.Copy !req
220. Does anyone else
know where to find him?Copy !req
221. - Anyone at all?
- Me! Me!Copy !req
222. - Anyone?
- Oh! Oh, pick me!Copy !req
223. Oh, I know! I know! Me, me!Copy !req
224. Okay, fine.Copy !req
225. Attention,
all fairy tale things.Copy !req
226. Do not get comfortable.
Your welcome is officially worn out.Copy !req
227. In fact, I'm gonna see
this guy Farquaad right now...Copy !req
228. and get you all off my land
and back where you came from!Copy !req
229. Oh! You!Copy !req
230. You're comin' with me.Copy !req
231. All right, that's
what I like to hear, manCopy !req
232. Shrek and donkey, two stalwart friends,
off on a whirlwind big-city adventure.Copy !req
233. I love it!Copy !req
234. - On the road againCopy !req
235. I can't wait to get
on the road againCopy !req
236. What did I say
about singing?Copy !req
237. - Can I whistle?
- No.Copy !req
238. - Can I hum it?
- All right, hum it.Copy !req
239. That's enough.
He's ready to talk.Copy !req
240. Run, run, run,
as fast as you can.Copy !req
241. You can't catch me.
I'm the gingerbread man!Copy !req
242. - You're a monster.
- I'm not the monster here. You are.Copy !req
243. You and the rest of that fairy tale
trash, poisoning my perfect world.Copy !req
244. Now, tell me!
Where are the others?Copy !req
245. - Eat me!Copy !req
246. I've tried to be fair
to you creatures.Copy !req
247. Now my patience has reached its end!
Tell me or I'll-Copy !req
248. No, no, not the buttons.
Not my gumdrop buttons.Copy !req
249. All right then.
Who's hiding them?Copy !req
250. Okay, I'll tell you.
Do you know the muffin man?Copy !req
251. - The muffin man?
- The muffin man.Copy !req
252. Yes, I know the muffin man,
who lives on Drury Lane?Copy !req
253. Well, she's married
to the muffin man.Copy !req
254. - The muffin man?
- The muffin man!Copy !req
255. - She's married to the muffin man.Copy !req
256. My lord! We found it.Copy !req
257. Then what are you waiting for?
Bring it in.Copy !req
258. - Oh!Copy !req
259. - Magic mirror-
- Don't tell him anything!Copy !req
260. No!Copy !req
261. - Evening.Copy !req
262. Mirror, mirror, on the wall.Copy !req
263. Is this not the most
perfect kingdom of them all?Copy !req
264. Well, technically
you're not a king.Copy !req
265. Uh, Thelonius.Copy !req
266. - You were saying?
- What I mean is, you're not a king yet.Copy !req
267. But you can become one. All
you have to do is marry a princess.Copy !req
268. - Go on.Copy !req
269. So, just sit back
and relax, my lord,Copy !req
270. because it's time for you to
meet today's eligible bachelorettes.Copy !req
271. And here they are!Copy !req
272. Bachelorette number one is a mentally
abused shut-in from a kingdom far, far away.Copy !req
273. She likes sushi
and hot tubbing anytime.Copy !req
274. Her hobbies include cooking
and cleaning for her two evil sisters.Copy !req
275. Please welcome Cinderella.Copy !req
276. Bachelorette number two\is a cape-wearing girl
from the land of fancy.Copy !req
277. Although she lives with
seven other men, she's not easy.Copy !req
278. Just kiss her dead, frozen lips
and find out what a live wire she is.Copy !req
279. Come on.
Give it up for Snow White!Copy !req
280. And last,
but certainly not least,Copy !req
281. bachelorette number three
is a fiery redhead...Copy !req
282. from a dragon-guarded castle
surrounded by hot boiling lava!Copy !req
283. But don't let that cool you off.Copy !req
284. She's a loaded pistol who likes pina
coladas and getting caught in the rain.Copy !req
285. Yours for the rescuing, Princess Fiona!Copy !req
286. So will it be
bachelorette number one,Copy !req
287. bachelorette number two or bachelorette number three?Copy !req
288. - Two! Two!
- Three! Three!Copy !req
289. - Two! Two!
- Three!Copy !req
290. Three? One?
Three?Copy !req
291. Three!
Pick number three, my lord!Copy !req
292. Okay, okay, uh, number three!Copy !req
293. Lord Farquaad,
you've chosen Princess Fiona.Copy !req
294. If you love pina coladasCopy !req
295. - And getting caught in the rain
- Princess Fiona.Copy !req
296. - If you're not into yogaCopy !req
297. All I have to do is
just find someone who can go-Copy !req
298. But I probably should mention
the little thing that happens at night.Copy !req
299. - I'll do it.
- Yes, but after sunset-Copy !req
300. Silence! I will make
this Princess Fiona my queen,Copy !req
301. and DuLoc will finally
have the perfect king!Copy !req
302. Captain, assemble
your finet men.Copy !req
303. We're going to have
a tournament.Copy !req
304. But that's it. That'st it
right there. That's DuLoc.Copy !req
305. I told ya I'd find it.Copy !req
306. So, that must be
Lord Farquaad's castle.Copy !req
307. Uh-huh. That's the place.Copy !req
308. Do you think maybe
he's compensating for something?Copy !req
309. Hey, wait.
Wait up, Shrek.Copy !req
310. Hurry, darling.
We're late. Hurry.Copy !req
311. - Hey, you!Copy !req
312. Wait a second.
Look, I'm not gonna eat ya.Copy !req
313. - I just- I just-Copy !req
314. It's quiet.Copy !req
315. Too quiet.Copy !req
316. - WHere is everybody?
- Hey, look at this!Copy !req
317. Welcome to DuLoc such a perfect townCopy !req
318. Here we have some rules
Let us lay them downCopy !req
319. Don't make waves, stay inline
and we'll get along fineCopy !req
320. DuLoc is a perfect placeCopy !req
321. Please keep off of the grass
Shine your shoes, wipe your... faceCopy !req
322. DuLoc is, DuLoc isCopy !req
323. DuLoc is a perfectCopy !req
324. - PlaceCopy !req
325. Wow! Let's do that again!Copy !req
326. No. No.
No, no, no! No.Copy !req
327. Brave knights.Copy !req
328. - You are the best and brightest
in the land.Copy !req
329. Today one of you
shall prove himself-Copy !req
330. All right. You're going the right way
for a smacked bottom.Copy !req
331. - Sorry about that.Copy !req
332. That champion shall have the honour-
no, no- the privilege...Copy !req
333. to go forth and rescue
the lovely Princess Fiona...Copy !req
334. from the fiery keep
of the dragonCopy !req
335. If for any reason
the winner is unsuccessful,Copy !req
336. the fist runner-up
will take his placeCopy !req
337. and so on and so forth.Copy !req
338. Some of you may die, but it's
a sacrifice I am willing to make.Copy !req
339. Let the tournament begin!Copy !req
340. - Oh!Copy !req
341. - What is that?Copy !req
342. - It's hideous!
- Ah, that's not very nice.Copy !req
343. - It's just a donkey.
Huh?Copy !req
344. Indeed. Knights, new plan!Copy !req
345. The one who kills the ogre will be
named champion! Have at him!Copy !req
346. - Get him!
- Oh, hey! Now come on! Hang on now.Copy !req
347. Go ahead! Get him!Copy !req
348. Can't we just settle this
over a pint?Copy !req
349. Kill the beast!Copy !req
350. No? All right then.Copy !req
351. Come on!Copy !req
352. I don't give a damn
about my reputationCopy !req
353. - You've living in the past
It's a new generationCopy !req
354. she wants to doCopy !req
355. And that's what
I'm gonna doCopy !req
356. And I don't give a damn
about my bad reputationCopy !req
357. Oh, no, no, no, no, no
Not meCopy !req
358. Me, me, meCopy !req
359. - Hey, Shrek, tag me! Tag me!Copy !req
360. And I don't give a damn
about my reputationCopy !req
361. Never said I wanted
to improve my stationCopy !req
362. Ah!Copy !req
363. And I'm always feelin' good
when I'm having funCopy !req
364. And I don't have
to please no oneCopy !req
365. The chair!
Give him the chair!Copy !req
366. And I don't give damn
about my bad reputationCopy !req
367. Oh, no, no, no, no, no
Not meCopy !req
368. Me, me, meCopy !req
369. Oh, no, no, no, noCopy !req
370. Not me, not meCopy !req
371. - Not meCopy !req
372. Oh, yeah! Ah! Ah!Copy !req
373. Thank you! Thank you very much!Copy !req
374. I'm here till Thursday.
Try the veal! Ha, ha!Copy !req
375. Shall I give
the order, sir?Copy !req
376. No, I have a better idea.Copy !req
377. People of DuLoc,
I give you our champion!Copy !req
378. - What?
- Congratulations, ogre.Copy !req
379. You've won the honour of
embarking on a great and noble quest.Copy !req
380. Quest? I'm already on a quest,
a quest to get my swamp back.Copy !req
381. - Your swamp?
- Yeah, my swamp!Copy !req
382. Where you dumped
those fairy tale creatures!Copy !req
383. - Indeed.Copy !req
384. All right, ogre,
I'll make you a deal.Copy !req
385. Go on this quest for me, and
I'll give you your swamp back.Copy !req
386. Exactly the way it was?Copy !req
387. Down to the last
slime-covered toadtool.Copy !req
388. - And the squatters?
- As good as gone.Copy !req
389. What kind of quest?Copy !req
390. Let me get this straight.
You're gonna go fight a dragon...Copy !req
391. and rescue a princess just so Farquaad
will give you back a swamp...Copy !req
392. which you only don't have because he
filled it full of freaks in the first place.Copy !req
393. - Is that about right?
- Maybe there's a good reason donkeys shouldn't talk.Copy !req
394. I don't get it. Why don't you just
pull some of that ogre stuff on him?Copy !req
395. Throttle him,
lay siege to his fortress,Copy !req
396. grind his bones to make your bread,
the whole ogre trip.Copy !req
397. Oh, I know what.Copy !req
398. Maybe I could have
decapitated an entire village...Copy !req
399. and put thier heads
on a pike,Copy !req
400. gotten a knife, cut open thier
spleen and drink their fluids.Copy !req
401. Does that sound
good to you?Copy !req
402. Uh, no, not really, no.Copy !req
403. For your information, there's a lot
more to ogres than people think.Copy !req
404. - Example?
- Example?Copy !req
405. - Okay, um, ogres are like onions.
- They stink?Copy !req
406. - Yes- No! - They
make you cry? - No!Copy !req
407. You leave them out in the sun, they get all
brown, start sproutin' little white hairs.Copy !req
408. No! Layers!Copy !req
409. Onions have layers.Copy !req
410. Ogres have layers!
Onions have layers.Copy !req
411. You gt it? We both have layers.Copy !req
412. Oh, you both have layers. Oh.Copy !req
413. You know, not everybody likes onions.Copy !req
414. Cake! Everybody loves cakes!
Cakes have layers.Copy !req
415. I don't care...
what everyone likes.Copy !req
416. Ogres are not like cakes.Copy !req
417. You know what else
everybody likes? Parfaits.Copy !req
418. Have you ever met a person, you,
say, "Let's get some parfait,"Copy !req
419. they say, "No,
I don't like no parfait"?Copy !req
420. - Parfaits are delicious.
- No!Copy !req
421. You dense, irritating,
miniature beast of burden!Copy !req
422. Ogres are like onions!
End of the story.Copy !req
423. Bye-bye. See ya later.Copy !req
424. Parfaits may be the most delicious thing
on the whole damn planet.Copy !req
425. You know, I think
I preferred your humming.Copy !req
426. Do you have a tissue or something?
I'm making a mess.Copy !req
427. Just the word parfait
make me start slobbering.Copy !req
428. I'm on my way from misery
to happiness today.Copy !req
429. Uh-huh, uh-huh
Uh-huh, uh-huhCopy !req
430. I'm on my way from misery
to happiness todayCopy !req
431. Uh-huh, uh-huh
Uh-huh, uh-huhCopy !req
432. And everything
that you receive up yonderCopy !req
433. Is what you give to me
the day I wanderCopy !req
434. I'm on my wayCopy !req
435. I'm on my wayCopy !req
436. I'm on my wayCopy !req
437. Ooh! Shrek!
Did you do that?Copy !req
438. You gotta warn somebody before you
just crack one off. My mouth was open.Copy !req
439. Believe me, Donkey, if
it was me, you'd be dead.Copy !req
440. It's brimstone.Copy !req
441. - We must be getting close.
- Yeah, right, brimstone.Copy !req
442. Don't be talking about it's the brimstone. I
know what I smell. It's wasn't no brimstone.Copy !req
443. It didn't come off
no stone neither.Copy !req
444. Sure, it's big enough,
but look at the location.Copy !req
445. Uh, Shrek? Uh, remember when
you said ogres have layers?Copy !req
446. Oh, aye.Copy !req
447. Well, I have a bit
of a confession to make.Copy !req
448. Donkeys don't have layers. We wear
our fear right out there on our sleeves.Copy !req
449. - Wait a second. Donkeys don't have sleeves.
- You know what I mean.Copy !req
450. You can't tell me
you're afraid of heights.Copy !req
451. I'm just a little uncomfortable about being on
a rickely bridge over a boiling lake of lava!Copy !req
452. Come on, Donkey.
I'm right here beside ya, okay?Copy !req
453. For emotional support,Copy !req
454. we'll just tackle this thing
together one little baby stap at a time.Copy !req
455. - Really?
- Really, really.Copy !req
456. - Okay, that makes me feel so much better.
- Just keep moving.Copy !req
457. - And don't look down. Okay,
don't look down. Don't look down.Copy !req
458. Don't look down. \Keep on moving. Don't look down.Copy !req
459. Shrek! I'm lookin' down!Copy !req
460. Oh, God, I can't do this!
Just let me off, please!Copy !req
461. - But you're already halfway.
- But I know that half is safe!Copy !req
462. Okay, fine. I don't have time for this. You go back.Copy !req
463. - Shrek, no! Wait!
- Just, Donkey-Copy !req
464. - Let's have a dance then, shall we?
- Don't do that!Copy !req
465. Oh, I'm sorry. Do what?Copy !req
466. - Oh, this?
- Yes, that!Copy !req
467. Yes? Yes, do it. Okay.Copy !req
468. No Shrek!Copy !req
469. - No! Stop it!
- You said do it! I'm doin' it.Copy !req
470. I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die.
Shrek, I'm gonna die.Copy !req
471. Oh!Copy !req
472. That'll do, Donkey.
That'll do.Copy !req
473. Cool.Copy !req
474. So where is this
fire-breathing pain-in-the-neck anyway?Copy !req
475. Inside, waiting for us
to rescue her.Copy !req
476. I was talkin' about the dragon, Shrek.Copy !req
477. You afraid?Copy !req
478. No, but- Shh.Copy !req
479. Oh, good. Me neither.Copy !req
480. 'Cause there's nothin'
wrong with bein' afraid.Copy !req
481. Fear's a sensible response
to an unfamiliar situation.Copy !req
482. Unfamiliar dangerous
situation, I might add.Copy !req
483. With a dragon that breathes fire
and eats knights and breathes fire,Copy !req
484. it sure doesn't mean you're a coward if you're a little scared.Copy !req
485. I sure as heck ain't no coward.
I know that.Copy !req
486. Donkey, two things, okay?Copy !req
487. Shut... up.Copy !req
488. Now go over there and see\if you can find any stairs.Copy !req
489. Stairs? I thought
we was lookin' for the princess.Copy !req
490. The princess will be up the stairs in
the highest room in the tallest tower.Copy !req
491. - What makes you think she'll be there?
- I read it in a book once.Copy !req
492. Cool. You handle the dragon.
I'll handle the stairs.Copy !req
493. I'll find those stairs.
I'll whip their butt too.Copy !req
494. Those stairs won't know
which way they're goin'.Copy !req
495. I'm gonna take drastic steps.Copy !req
496. Kick it to the kerb. Don't mess
with me. I'm the stair master.Copy !req
497. I've mastered the stairs. I wish I had
a step right here. I'd step all over it.Copy !req
498. Well, at least we know
where the princess is, but where's the-Copy !req
499. Dragon!Copy !req
500. Donkey, look out!Copy !req
501. - Got ya!Copy !req
502. Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
503. Oh! Aah! Aah!Copy !req
504. No. Oh, no. No!Copy !req
505. - Oh, what large teeth you have.Copy !req
506. I mean, white, sparkling teeth. I know you
probably hear this all the time from your food,Copy !req
507. but you must bleach, 'cause that
is one dazzling smile you got there.Copy !req
508. Do I detect a hint
of minty freshness?Copy !req
509. And you know what else?
You're- you're a girl dragon!Copy !req
510. Oh, sure! I mean,
of course you're a girl dragon.Copy !req
511. You're just reeking
off feminine beauty.Copy !req
512. What's the matter with you?
You got something in your eye?Copy !req
513. Ooh. Oh. Oh.Copy !req
514. Man, I'd really love to stay,
but, you know, I'm, uh-Copy !req
515. I'm an asthmatic, and I don't know if it'd
work out if you're gonna blow smoke rings.Copy !req
516. Shrek!Copy !req
517. No! Shrek! Shrek!Copy !req
518. Shrek!Copy !req
519. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
520. - WAke up!
- What?Copy !req
521. Are you Princess Fiona?Copy !req
522. I am, awaiting a knight
so bold as to rescue me.Copy !req
523. Oh, that's nice.
Now let's go!Copy !req
524. But wait, Sir Knight.Copy !req
525. This be-ith our first meeting.Copy !req
526. Should it not be
a wonderful, romantic moment?Copy !req
527. - Yeah, sorry, lady. There's no time.
- Hey, wait. What are you doing?Copy !req
528. You should sweep me off my feet...Copy !req
529. out yonder window and down a rope
onto your valiant steed.Copy !req
530. You've had a lot of time
to plan this, haven't you?Copy !req
531. Mm-hmm.Copy !req
532. But we have to
savour this moment!Copy !req
533. You could recite
an epic poem for me.Copy !req
534. A ballad? A sonnet!Copy !req
535. - A limerick? Or something!
- I don't think so.Copy !req
536. Can I at least know
the name of my champion?Copy !req
537. Um, Shrek.Copy !req
538. Sir Shrek.Copy !req
539. I pray that you take this favour
as a token of my gratitude.Copy !req
540. Thanks!Copy !req
541. You didn't slay the dragon?Copy !req
542. - It's on my to-do list. Now come on!Copy !req
543. But this isn't right!Copy !req
544. You were meant to charge in,
sword drawn, banner flying.Copy !req
545. That's what all
the other knights did.Copy !req
546. Yeah, right before
they burst into flame.Copy !req
547. That's not the point. Oh!Copy !req
548. Wait. Where are you going?
The exit's over there.Copy !req
549. Well, I have to save my ass.Copy !req
550. What kind of knight are you?Copy !req
551. One of a kind.Copy !req
552. Slow down. Slow down, baby, please.Copy !req
553. I believe it's healthy to get to
know someone over a long period of time.Copy !req
554. Just call me old-fashioned.Copy !req
555. I don't want to rush into
a physical relationship.Copy !req
556. I'm not that emotionally ready
for commitment of, uh, this-Copy !req
557. Magnitude really is
the word I'm looking for.Copy !req
558. Magnitude- Hey, that is
unwanted physical contact.Copy !req
559. Hey, what are you doing?Copy !req
560. Okay, okay. Let's just back up a little
and take this one step at a time.Copy !req
561. We really should get to know each other
first as friends or pen pals.Copy !req
562. I'm on the road a lot, but I just love receiving cards-Copy !req
563. I'd really love
to stay, but-Copy !req
564. Don't do that. That's my tail!
That's my personal tail.Copy !req
565. You're gonna tear it off. I don't give permission
- What are you gonna do with that?Copy !req
566. Hey, now. No way.
No! No!Copy !req
567. No, no! No.
No, no, no! No! Oh!Copy !req
568. - Hi, Princess!
- It talks!Copy !req
569. Yeah, it's getting him
to shut up that's the trick.Copy !req
570. Oh!Copy !req
571. Okay, you two,
head for the exit!Copy !req
572. I'll take care of the dragon.Copy !req
573. - You did it!Copy !req
574. You rescued me!
You're amizing. You're-Copy !req
575. You're wonderful. You're...Copy !req
576. a little unorthodox I'll admit.Copy !req
577. But thy deed is great,
and thine heart is pure.Copy !req
578. - I am eternally in your debt.Copy !req
579. And where would a brave knight be
without his noble steed?Copy !req
580. I hope you heard that. She called me
a noble steed. She think I'm a steed.Copy !req
581. The battle is won.Copy !req
582. You may remove your helmet,
good Sir Knight.Copy !req
583. - Uh, no.
- Why not?Copy !req
584. I have helmet hair.Copy !req
585. Please. I would'st look
upon the face of my rescuer.Copy !req
586. No, no, you wouldn't- 'st.Copy !req
587. But how will you kiss me?Copy !req
588. What? That wasn't
in the job description.Copy !req
589. Maybe it's a perk.Copy !req
590. No. It's destiny.
Oh, you must know how it goes.Copy !req
591. A princess locked in a tower
and beset by a dragon...Copy !req
592. is rescue by a brave knight,Copy !req
593. and then they share true love's first kiss.Copy !req
594. Hmm? With Shrek?
You think- Wait.Copy !req
595. Wait. You think Shrek is your true love?Copy !req
596. Well, yes.Copy !req
597. You think that Shrek is your true love!Copy !req
598. What is so funny?Copy !req
599. Let's just say,
I'm not your type, okay?Copy !req
600. Of course you are.
You're my rescuer.Copy !req
601. Now- Now remove your helmet.Copy !req
602. Look. I really don't think
this is a good idea.Copy !req
603. - Just take off the helmet.
- I'm not going to.Copy !req
604. - Take it off!
- No!Copy !req
605. - Now!
- Okay!Copy !req
606. Easy. As you command,
Your Highness.Copy !req
607. You- You're a- an ogre.Copy !req
608. Oh, you were expecting
Prince Charming.Copy !req
609. Well, yes, actually.Copy !req
610. Oh no. This is all wrong.Copy !req
611. You're not supposed
to be an ogre.Copy !req
612. Princess, I was sent
to rescue you by Lord Farquaad, okay?Copy !req
613. He's the one
who wants to marry you.Copy !req
614. Then why didn't
he come to rescue me?Copy !req
615. Good question. You should
ask him that when we get there.Copy !req
616. But I have to be rescued
by my true love,Copy !req
617. not by some ogre and his- his pet.Copy !req
618. Well so much for noble steed.Copy !req
619. Look princess. You're not making my job any easier.Copy !req
620. Well I'm sorry, but your job is not my problem.Copy !req
621. You can tell Lord Farquaad
that if he wants to rescue me properly,Copy !req
622. I'll be waiting for him
right here.Copy !req
623. Hey, I'm no ones messenger boy,
all right? I'm a delivery boy.Copy !req
624. You wouldn't dare.Copy !req
625. - Ya comin', Donkey?
- Put me down!Copy !req
626. Yeah, I'm right behind ya.Copy !req
627. Put me down or you will
suffer the consequences!Copy !req
628. This is not dignified!
Put me down!Copy !req
629. Okay, so here's another question.Copy !req
630. Say there's a woman that digs you, right,
but you don't really like her that way.Copy !req
631. How do you let her down real easy
so her feelings aren't hurt,Copy !req
632. but you don't get burned to a crisp and eaten?Copy !req
633. You just tell her
she's not your true love.Copy !req
634. Everyone knows it what happens when you find your-Copy !req
635. Hey!Copy !req
636. The sooner we get to DuLoc the better.Copy !req
637. Oh, yeah. You're gonna love it there,
Princess. It's beautiful!Copy !req
638. And what of my groom-to-be?
Lord Farquaad? What's he like?Copy !req
639. Well, let me put it this way, Princess.Copy !req
640. Men of Farquaad's stature
are in short supply.Copy !req
641. I don't know. There are those who
think little of him.Copy !req
642. Stop it. Stop it,
both of you.Copy !req
643. You know, you're just jealous that you can never
measure up to a great ruler like lord Farquaad.Copy !req
644. Yeah. Well maybe you're right, Princess.Copy !req
645. But I'd let you do the "measuring" when you see him tomorrow.Copy !req
646. Tomorrow?
It's take that long?Copy !req
647. - Shouldn't we stop to make camp?
- No, that'll take longer.Copy !req
648. - We can keep going.
- But there are robbers in the woods.Copy !req
649. Whoa! Time out, Shrek!
Camping's starting to sound good.Copy !req
650. Hey. Come on. I'm scarier than anything
we're going to see in this forest.Copy !req
651. I need to find somewhere to camp now!Copy !req
652. - Hey! over here.
- Shrek, we can do better than that.Copy !req
653. Now, I don't think this is fit for a princess.Copy !req
654. No, no, it's perfect.
It just needs a few homey touches.Copy !req
655. - Homey touches? Like what?Copy !req
656. A door? Well, gentlemen, I bid thee good night.Copy !req
657. Do you want me to come in and read you a bedtime story? 'cause I will.Copy !req
658. I said good night!Copy !req
659. Shrek, what are you doing?Copy !req
660. I just- You know- Oh, come on.Copy !req
661. I was just kidding.Copy !req
662. And, uh, that one, that's Throwback,Copy !req
663. the only ogre to ever spit
over three wheat fields.Copy !req
664. Right. Yeah.Copy !req
665. Hey, can you tell my future form these stars?Copy !req
666. Well, the stars don't tell the future, Donkey.
They tell stories.Copy !req
667. Look, there's Bloodnut, the Flatulent.Copy !req
668. - You can guess what he is famous for.
- All right. Now I know you're making this up.Copy !req
669. No. Look. There he is,Copy !req
670. and there's the group of hunters
running away from his stench.Copy !req
671. Man, there ain't nothin' but a bunch of little dots.Copy !req
672. You know donkey,
sometimes things are more than they appear.Copy !req
673. Hmm?Copy !req
674. Forget it.Copy !req
675. Hey, Shrek, what we gonna do when we get our swamp back, anyway?Copy !req
676. Our swamp?Copy !req
677. You know. When we're through rescuing the princess and all that stuff.Copy !req
678. We? Donkey, there is no "we". There's no "our".Copy !req
679. There's just me and my swamp.Copy !req
680. And the first thing I'm gonna do is build
a ten-foot wall around my land.Copy !req
681. You cut me deep, Shrek.Copy !req
682. You cut me real deep just now.Copy !req
683. You know what I think?Copy !req
684. I think this whole wall thing
is just a way to keep somebody out.Copy !req
685. - No, do ya think?
- Are you hidin' something?Copy !req
686. Never mind, Donkey.Copy !req
687. Oh, this is another one of those onion things, isn't it?Copy !req
688. No, this is one of those drop-it and leave-it-alone things.Copy !req
689. - Why don't you want to talk about it?
- Why do you want to talk about it?Copy !req
690. - Oh, Why you block?
- I'm not blocking.Copy !req
691. - Oh yes you are.
- Donkey, I'm warning you.Copy !req
692. - Who are you trying to keep out? Just tell me that Shrek. Who?
- Everyone! Okay?Copy !req
693. Oh, now we're gettin' somewhere.Copy !req
694. Oh, for 'the love of Pete!Copy !req
695. Hey, what's your problem Shrek?
What do you got against the whole world anyway?Copy !req
696. Look. I'm not the one with the problem, okay?Copy !req
697. It's the world that seems to have a problem with me.Copy !req
698. People take one look at me and go, "Aah! Help! Run!Copy !req
699. A big, stupid, ugly ogre!"Copy !req
700. They judge me, before they even know me.Copy !req
701. That's why I'm better off alone.Copy !req
702. You know what?Copy !req
703. When we met, I didn't think you're was just a big, stupid, ugly ogre.Copy !req
704. Yeah, I know.Copy !req
705. So, uh, are there any donkeys up there?Copy !req
706. Well, there's, um, Gabby,Copy !req
707. the Small and Annoying.Copy !req
708. Okay, okay. I see it, now. The big shiny
one, right there. That's one there?Copy !req
709. - That's the moon.
- Oh, okay.Copy !req
710. Again. Show me again.Copy !req
711. Mirror, mirror, show her to me. Show me the princess.Copy !req
712. - Hmph.Copy !req
713. Ah. Perfect.Copy !req
714. Mmm, yeah, you know I like it like that.Copy !req
715. - Oh come on, baby. I said I like it.
- Donkey, wake up.Copy !req
716. - Huh? What?
- Wake up.Copy !req
717. - What?
- Good morning.Copy !req
718. How do you like your eggs?Copy !req
719. - Good morning, Princess!
- What's all this about?Copy !req
720. You know, we kind of got of to a bad start yesterday.Copy !req
721. I wanted to make it up to you.Copy !req
722. I mean, after all, you did rescue me.Copy !req
723. - Uh, thanks.Copy !req
724. Well, eat up. We've got a big day ahead of us.Copy !req
725. - Shrek!Copy !req
726. What? It's a compliment.Copy !req
727. Better out than in, I always say.Copy !req
728. - Well, it's no way to behave in front of a princess.Copy !req
729. - Thanks
- She's as nasty as you are.Copy !req
730. You know, you're not exactly what I expected.Copy !req
731. Well, maybe you shouldn't judge people
before you get to know them.Copy !req
732. La liberte! Hey!Copy !req
733. Princess!Copy !req
734. - What are you doing?Copy !req
735. Be still, mon cherie, for I am your saviour!Copy !req
736. And I am rescuing you from this green-Copy !req
737. - beast.
- Hey!Copy !req
738. That's my princess! Go find your own!Copy !req
739. Please, monster! Can't you see I'm a little busy here?Copy !req
740. Look, pal. I don't know who you think you are!Copy !req
741. Oh, of course! How rude that was.Copy !req
742. Please, let me introduce myself.Copy !req
743. Oh, Merry Men!Copy !req
744. Ta,dah,dah,dah, whooCopy !req
745. I steal from the rich and give to the needyCopy !req
746. - He takes a wee percentage
- But I'm not greedyCopy !req
747. I rescue pretty damsels
Man, I'm goodCopy !req
748. - What a guy, Monsieur HoodCopy !req
749. I like an honest fight and a saucy little maidCopy !req
750. - What he's basically saying is he likes to get-
- PaidCopy !req
751. - So
- When an ogre in the bush grabs a lady by the tushCopy !req
752. - That's bad
- That's badCopy !req
753. When a beauty's with a beast it makes me awfully madCopy !req
754. He's mad
He's really, really madCopy !req
755. I'll take my blade and ram it through your heartCopy !req
756. Keep your eyes on me, boys 'cause I'm about to startCopy !req
757. Man, that was annoying!Copy !req
758. Oh, you little...Copy !req
759. Um, shall we?Copy !req
760. - Hold the phone.Copy !req
761. Oh! Whoa! whoa, whoa. Hold on now.Copy !req
762. - Where did that come from?
- What?Copy !req
763. That! Back there. That was amazing!Copy !req
764. Where did you learn that?Copy !req
765. Well- When one lives alone,Copy !req
766. uh, one has to learn these things in case there's a-Copy !req
767. - There is an arrow in your butt!
- What?Copy !req
768. - What? Oh, would you look at that?
- Oh, no. This is all my fault.Copy !req
769. - I'm so sorry.
Why? What's wrong?Copy !req
770. - Shrek's hurt.
- Shrek's hurt. Shrek's hurt? Oh, no, Shrek's gonna die.Copy !req
771. - Donkey, I'm okay.
You can't do this to me Shrek. I'm too young for you to die.Copy !req
772. Keep your legs elevated. Turn your head and cough.Copy !req
773. - Does anyone know how the Heimlich?
- Donkey! Calm down.Copy !req
774. If you want to help Shrek, run into the woods and find me a blue flower with red thorns.Copy !req
775. Blue flower, red thorns. Okay, I'm on it. Blue flower, red thorns.Copy !req
776. Don't die Shrek. And if you see a long tunnel, stay away from the light!Copy !req
777. - Donkey!
- Oh, yeah. Right. Blue Flower, red thorns.Copy !req
778. Blue flower, red thorns.
- What are the flowers for?Copy !req
779. - For getting rid of the Donkey.
- Ah.Copy !req
780. Now you hold still, and I'll yank this thing out.Copy !req
781. Ow! Hey! Easy with the yankin'.Copy !req
782. - I'm sorry, but it has to come out.
- No, it's tender.Copy !req
783. Now, hold on.Copy !req
784. What you're doing here is the opposite of help.
- Don't move.Copy !req
785. - Look, time out.
- Would you-Copy !req
786. Okay. What do you propose we do?Copy !req
787. Blue flower, red thorns. Blue flower,
red thorns. Blue flower, red thorns.Copy !req
788. This would be so much easier if I wasn't colour-blind!Copy !req
789. - Blue flower, red thorns.
- Ow!Copy !req
790. Hold on, Shrek! I'm comin'!Copy !req
791. Ow! Not good.Copy !req
792. - Okay. Okay, I can nearly see the head.Copy !req
793. - It's just about-
- Ow! Ohh!Copy !req
794. Ahem.Copy !req
795. Nothing happened. We were just, uh-Copy !req
796. Look, if you wanted to be alone, all you had to do is ask.Copy !req
797. Oh, come on! That's the last thing on my mind.Copy !req
798. The princess here was just- Ugh!Copy !req
799. - Ow!
- Hey, what's that?Copy !req
800. That's- Is that blood?Copy !req
801. My beloved monster and meCopy !req
802. We go everywhere togetherCopy !req
803. Wearin' a raincoat that has four sleevesCopy !req
804. - Gets us through all kinds of weatherCopy !req
805. She will always be the only thingCopy !req
806. That comes between me and the awful stingCopy !req
807. That comes from living in a world that's so damn meanCopy !req
808. Oh, oh-oh-oh-ohCopy !req
809. Hey!Copy !req
810. - La-la, la-la, la-la-la-laCopy !req
811. La-la, la-la, la-laCopy !req
812. There it is, Princess.Copy !req
813. Your future awaits you.Copy !req
814. - That's Duloc?
- Yeah, I know.Copy !req
815. You know, Shrek thinks Lord Farquaad's
compensating for something,Copy !req
816. which I think means, he has a really- Ow!Copy !req
817. Um, I, uh-Copy !req
818. - I guess we better move on.
- Sure.Copy !req
819. But Shrek?Copy !req
820. - I'm- I'm worried about Donkey.Copy !req
821. - What?
- I mean, look at him.Copy !req
822. - He doesn't look so good.
- What are you talking about? I'm fine.Copy !req
823. Well, that's what they always say, and the
next thing you know, you're on your back.Copy !req
824. - Dead.
- You know, she's right.Copy !req
825. You look awful. Do you want to sit down?Copy !req
826. - You know, I'll make you up some tea.
- Well, I didn't want to say nothin',Copy !req
827. but I've got this twinge in my neck,
and when I turn my head like this, look.Copy !req
828. - Ow! See?Copy !req
829. - Who's hungry? I'll find us some dinner.
- I'll get the firewood.Copy !req
830. Hey, where are you goin'? Oh man, I can't feel my toes!Copy !req
831. I don't have any toes!Copy !req
832. I think I need a hug.Copy !req
833. Mmm.Copy !req
834. Mmm. This is good. This is really good.Copy !req
835. - What is this?
- Uh, weedrat.Copy !req
836. Rotisserie style.Copy !req
837. No kidding.Copy !req
838. Well, this is delicious.Copy !req
839. Well, they're also great in stews.Copy !req
840. Now, I don't mean to brag,
but I make a mean wheedrat stew.Copy !req
841. I guess I'll be dining
a little differently tomorrow night.Copy !req
842. Maybe you can come visit me in the swamp sometime.Copy !req
843. I'll cook all kinds of stuff for you.Copy !req
844. Swamp toast soup, fish eye tartare- you name it.Copy !req
845. I'd like that.Copy !req
846. Um, Princess?Copy !req
847. - Yes, Shrek?Copy !req
848. - I was wonderingCopy !req
849. Are, you-Copy !req
850. Are you gonna eat that?Copy !req
851. Man, isn't this romantic? Just look at that sunset.
- Sunset?Copy !req
852. Oh, no! I mean, it's late.Copy !req
853. - I-It's very late.
- What?Copy !req
854. Wait a minute. I see what's goin' on here.Copy !req
855. - You're afraid of the dark, aren't you?
- Yes!Copy !req
856. Yes, that's it. I'm terrified. You know I'd better go inside.Copy !req
857. But don't feel bad, Princess. I used to be afraid of the dark, too, until-Copy !req
858. Hey, no, wait. I'm still afraid of the dark.Copy !req
859. - Good night.Copy !req
860. Good night.Copy !req
861. - Ohh!Copy !req
862. Oh, what are you talkin' about?Copy !req
863. I don't even wanna hear it. Look, I'm an animal, and I got instincts.Copy !req
864. I know that you two are diggin' on each other. I could feel it.Copy !req
865. Oh, you're crazy. I'm just bringing her back to Farquaad.Copy !req
866. Oh, come on, Shrek. Wake up and smell the pheromones.Copy !req
867. - Just go in and tell her how you feel.
- I-Copy !req
868. There's nothing to tell. Besides, even if I did tell her that,Copy !req
869. well you know-Copy !req
870. and I'm not sayin' that I do 'cause I don't-Copy !req
871. she's a princess and I'm-Copy !req
872. An ogre?Copy !req
873. Yeah. An ogre.Copy !req
874. - Hey, where are you goin'?
- To get... more firewood.Copy !req
875. Princess?Copy !req
876. Princess Fiona?Copy !req
877. Princess, where are you?Copy !req
878. Princess?Copy !req
879. It's very spooky in here. I ain't playing no games.Copy !req
880. - Aah! - Oh,
no! - No, help!Copy !req
881. - Shh! - Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
- No, it's okay. It's okay.Copy !req
882. - What did you do with the princess?
- Donkey, shhh, I'm the princess.Copy !req
883. - Aah!
- It's me, in this body.Copy !req
884. Oh, my God! You ate the princess!Copy !req
885. - Can you hear me? - Donkey!Copy !req
886. - Listen, keep breathing! I'll get you out of there!
- No!Copy !req
887. - Shrek! Shrek! Shrek!
- Shh.Copy !req
888. - Shrek!
- This is me.Copy !req
889. Princess?Copy !req
890. What happened to you? You're, uh, uh,Copy !req
891. uh, different.Copy !req
892. - I'm ugly, okay?
- Well, yeah!Copy !req
893. Was it something that you ate? 'Cause I told Shrek those rats was a bad idea.Copy !req
894. - You are what you eat, I said. Now-
- No.Copy !req
895. I- I've been this way as long as I can remember.Copy !req
896. What do you mean? Look, I ain't never seen you like this before.Copy !req
897. It only happens when the sun goes down.Copy !req
898. "By night one way, by day another.Copy !req
899. "This shall be the norm...Copy !req
900. "until you find true love's first kiss...Copy !req
901. and then, take love's true form. "Copy !req
902. Ah, that's beautiful. I didn't know you wrote poetry.Copy !req
903. It's a spell.Copy !req
904. When I was a little girl,Copy !req
905. a witch cast a spell on me.Copy !req
906. Every night I become this.Copy !req
907. This horrible, ugly beast!Copy !req
908. I was placed in a tower to await the day my true love would rescue me.Copy !req
909. That's why I have to marry lord Farquaad tomorrow...Copy !req
910. before the sun sets and he sees me...Copy !req
911. like this.Copy !req
912. All right, all right. Calm down. Look, it's not that bad.Copy !req
913. You're not that ugly. Well, I ain't gonna lie. You are ugly.Copy !req
914. But you only look like this at night. Shrek's ugly 24-7.Copy !req
915. But Donkey, I'm a princess,Copy !req
916. and this is not how a princess is meant to look.Copy !req
917. Princess, how 'bout if you don't marry Farquaad?Copy !req
918. I have to.Copy !req
919. Only my true love's kiss can brake the spell.Copy !req
920. But you know, you're kind of an ogre,Copy !req
921. and Shrek- well, you've got a lot in common.Copy !req
922. Shrek?Copy !req
923. Princess, I- Uh, how's it going, first of all?Copy !req
924. Good? Um, good for me too.Copy !req
925. I'm okay.Copy !req
926. I saw this flower and thought of you because it's pretty and-Copy !req
927. well, I don't really like it, but I thought you may like it, 'cause you're pretty.Copy !req
928. But I like you anyway. I'd- uh, uh-Copy !req
929. I'm in trouble. Okay, here we go.Copy !req
930. I can't just marry whoever I want.Copy !req
931. Take a good look at me, Donkey.Copy !req
932. I mean, really,Copy !req
933. who could ever love a beast so hideous and hugly?Copy !req
934. "Princess" and "ugly" don't go together.Copy !req
935. - That's why I can't stay here with Shrek.Copy !req
936. My only chance to live happily ever after is to marry my true love.Copy !req
937. - Don't you see, Donkey?Copy !req
938. That's just how it has to be.Copy !req
939. It's the only way to break the spell.Copy !req
940. - You at least gotta tell Shrek the truth.
- No!Copy !req
941. You can't breathe the word. No one must ever know.Copy !req
942. What's the point of being able to talk if you gotta keep secrets?Copy !req
943. Promise you won't tell. Promise!Copy !req
944. All right, all right. I won't tell him. But you should.Copy !req
945. I just know, before this is over, I'm gonna need a whole lot of serious therapy.Copy !req
946. - Look at my eye twitchin'.Copy !req
947. I tell him, I tell him not.Copy !req
948. I tell him, I tell him not.Copy !req
949. I tell him.Copy !req
950. Shrek!Copy !req
951. Shrek, there's something I want-Copy !req
952. Shrek.Copy !req
953. - Are you all right?
- Perfect!Copy !req
954. Never been better.Copy !req
955. I- I don't- There's something I have to tell you.Copy !req
956. You don't have to tell me anything, Princess.Copy !req
957. - I heard enough last night.
- You heard what I said?Copy !req
958. Every word.Copy !req
959. I thought you'd understand?Copy !req
960. Oh, I understand!Copy !req
961. Like you said, "Who could love a hideous, ugly beast?"Copy !req
962. But I thought that wouldn't matter to you.Copy !req
963. Yeah, well, it does.Copy !req
964. - Ah, right on time.Copy !req
965. Princess, I brought you a little something.Copy !req
966. What'd I miss? What'd I miss?Copy !req
967. Who said that? Couldn't have been a donkey.Copy !req
968. Princess Fiona.Copy !req
969. As promised. Now hand it over.Copy !req
970. Very well, ogre. The deed to your swamp, cleared out as agreed.Copy !req
971. Take it and go before I change my mind.Copy !req
972. Forgive me, Princess, for startling you,Copy !req
973. but you startled me,Copy !req
974. For I've never seen such a radiant beauty before.Copy !req
975. I am lord Farquaad.Copy !req
976. Lord Farquaad? Oh, no, no.Copy !req
977. - Forgive me, my lord, for I was just saying...Copy !req
978. a short... farewell.Copy !req
979. That is so sweet. You don't have to raise good manners on the ogre.Copy !req
980. It's not like it has feelings.Copy !req
981. No. You're right. It doesn't.Copy !req
982. Princess Fiona, beautiful fair flawless Fiona.Copy !req
983. - I ask your hand in marriage.Copy !req
984. Will you be the perfect bride for the perfect groom?Copy !req
985. Lord Farquaad, I accept. Nothing would make-Copy !req
986. Excellent! I'll start the plans for tomorrow we wed!Copy !req
987. No! I mean, uh,Copy !req
988. Why wait?Copy !req
989. Let's get married today before the sun sets.Copy !req
990. Oh, anxious, are we? You're right.Copy !req
991. The sooner, the better. There's so much to do!Copy !req
992. There is the caterer, the cake, the band, the guest list.Copy !req
993. Captain, round up some guests.Copy !req
994. Fare-thee-well, ogre.Copy !req
995. Shrek, what are you doing? You let her get away.Copy !req
996. - Yeah? So what?
- Shrek, there's something about her you don't know.Copy !req
997. Look, I talked to her last night. She'sCopy !req
998. Yeah I know you talked to her last night. You're great pals, aren't ya?Copy !req
999. Now, if you two are such good friends, why didn't you follow her home?Copy !req
1000. Shrek, I- I wanna go with you.Copy !req
1001. I told you, didn't I? You're not coming home with me.Copy !req
1002. I live alone! My swamp! Me! Nobody else!Copy !req
1003. Understand? Nobody!Copy !req
1004. Especially useless, pathetic, annoying, talking donkeys!Copy !req
1005. - But. I thought
- Yeah. You know what?Copy !req
1006. You thought wrong!Copy !req
1007. Shrek.Copy !req
1008. I heard there was a secret chordCopy !req
1009. That David played and it pleased the LordCopy !req
1010. But you don't really care for music, do yaCopy !req
1011. It goes like this the fourth, the fifthCopy !req
1012. The minor fall the major liftCopy !req
1013. The baffled king composing hallelujahCopy !req
1014. HallelujahCopy !req
1015. HallelujahCopy !req
1016. Baby, I've been here beforeCopy !req
1017. I know this room I've walked this floorCopy !req
1018. I used to live alone before I knew youCopy !req
1019. I've seen your flag on the marble archCopy !req
1020. But love is not a victory marchCopy !req
1021. It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujahCopy !req
1022. HallelujahCopy !req
1023. HallelujahCopy !req
1024. HallelujahCopy !req
1025. HallelujahCopy !req
1026. And all I ever learned from loveCopy !req
1027. Is how to shoot at someoneCopy !req
1028. - Who outdrew youCopy !req
1029. And it's not a cry you can hear at nightCopy !req
1030. It's not somebody who's seen the lightCopy !req
1031. - It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujahCopy !req
1032. HallelujahCopy !req
1033. HallelujahCopy !req
1034. Donkey?Copy !req
1035. - What are you doing?Copy !req
1036. I would think, of all the people, you would recognize a wall when you see one.Copy !req
1037. Well, yeah.Copy !req
1038. But the wall's supposed to go around my swamp, not through it.Copy !req
1039. It is around your half. See, that's your half, and this is my half.Copy !req
1040. Oh, your half? Hmm.Copy !req
1041. Yes, my half. I helped rescue the princess.Copy !req
1042. I did half the work, I get half the booty.Copy !req
1043. Now hand me that big old rock, the one that looks like your head.Copy !req
1044. - Back off!
- No, you back off.Copy !req
1045. - This is my swamp!
- Our swamp.Copy !req
1046. - Let go, Donkey!
- You let go.Copy !req
1047. - Stubborn jackass!
- Smelly ogre.Copy !req
1048. Fine!Copy !req
1049. - Hey, hey, come back here. I'm not through with you yet.
- Well, I'm through with you.Copy !req
1050. Uh-uh. Well, you know, with you it's always, "Me, me, me!"Copy !req
1051. Well, guess what! Now it's my turn!Copy !req
1052. So you just shut up and pay attention!Copy !req
1053. You are mean to me.Copy !req
1054. You insult me and you don't appreciate anything that I do!Copy !req
1055. You're always pushing me around or pushing me away.Copy !req
1056. Oh, yeah? Well, if I treated you so bad, how come you came back?Copy !req
1057. Because that's what friend do! They forgive each other!Copy !req
1058. Oh, yeah. You're right, Donkey.Copy !req
1059. I forgive you... for stabbin' me in the back!Copy !req
1060. Ohh! You're so wrapped up in layers, onion boy, you're afraid of your own feelings.Copy !req
1061. - Go away!
- There you are, doing it again just like you did to Fiona.Copy !req
1062. And all she ever do was like you, maybe even love you.Copy !req
1063. Love me? She said I was ugly, a hideous creature.Copy !req
1064. I heard the two of youtalking.Copy !req
1065. She wasn't talking about you.Copy !req
1066. She was talking about, uh, somebody else.Copy !req
1067. She wasn't talking about me?Copy !req
1068. Well, then who was she talking about?Copy !req
1069. Uh-uh, no way. I ain't saying anything. You don't wanna listen to me.Copy !req
1070. - Right? Right?
- Donkey!Copy !req
1071. - No!
- Okay, look.Copy !req
1072. I'm sorry, all right?Copy !req
1073. Hmph.Copy !req
1074. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1075. I guess I am just a big, stupid, ugly ogre.Copy !req
1076. Can you forgive me?Copy !req
1077. Hey, that's the friends are for, right?Copy !req
1078. Right. Friends?Copy !req
1079. Friends.Copy !req
1080. So, um,Copy !req
1081. what did Fiona say about me?Copy !req
1082. What are you asking me for? Why don't you just go ask her?Copy !req
1083. The wedding! We'll never make it in time.Copy !req
1084. Ha-ha-ha! Never fear, for where there's a will, there's a way.Copy !req
1085. And I have a way.Copy !req
1086. - Donkey?Copy !req
1087. I guess this is just my animal magnetism.Copy !req
1088. Aw, come here, you.Copy !req
1089. All right, all right. Don't get all slobbery. No one likes a kiss ass.Copy !req
1090. All right, hop on and hold on tight.Copy !req
1091. I hadn't have a chance to install seat belts yet.Copy !req
1092. Whoo!Copy !req
1093. People of DuLoc,Copy !req
1094. we gather here today...Copy !req
1095. to bear witness...Copy !req
1096. - to the union...
- Um-Copy !req
1097. - of our new king-
- Excuse me.Copy !req
1098. - Could we just skip ahead to the "I do's"?Copy !req
1099. Go on.Copy !req
1100. Go ahead, have some fun. If we need you, I'll whisle. How about that?Copy !req
1101. Shrek, wait, wait! Wait a minute!Copy !req
1102. - You want to do this right, don't you?
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
1103. There's a line, There's a line you gotta wait for.Copy !req
1104. The preacher's gonna say, "Speak now or forever hold your peace. "Copy !req
1105. - That's when you say, "I object!"
- I don't have time for this!Copy !req
1106. Wait, wait. What are you doing? Listen to me!Copy !req
1107. - Look, you love this woman, don't you?
- Yes.Copy !req
1108. - You wanna hold her?
- Yes.Copy !req
1109. - Please her?
- Yes!Copy !req
1110. Then you got to, got to try a little tendernessCopy !req
1111. - The chicks love that romantic crap!
- All right! Cut it out.Copy !req
1112. - When does this guy say the line?
- We gotta check it out.Copy !req
1113. - And so, by the power vested in me,Copy !req
1114. - What do you see?
- The whole town's in there.Copy !req
1115. - I know pronounce you husband and wife,
- They're at the altar.Copy !req
1116. - king and queen.
- Mother Fletcher! He already said it.Copy !req
1117. - Oh, for the love of Pete!Copy !req
1118. I object!Copy !req
1119. - Shrek?Copy !req
1120. Oh, now what does he want?Copy !req
1121. Hi, everyone. Havin' a good time, are ya?Copy !req
1122. I love DuLoc, first of all.Copy !req
1123. - Very clean.
- What are you doing here?Copy !req
1124. Really, it's rude enough being alive when no one wants you.Copy !req
1125. - but showing up uninvited to a wedding-
- Fiona!Copy !req
1126. - I need to talk to you.
- Oh, now you wanna talk?Copy !req
1127. Well, it's a little late for that, so if you'll excuse me-Copy !req
1128. - But you can't marry him.
- And why not?Copy !req
1129. Because- Because he's just marrying you so he can be king.Copy !req
1130. Outrageous! Fiona, don't listen to him.Copy !req
1131. - He's not your true love.
- And what do you know about true love?Copy !req
1132. Well, I- Uh-Copy !req
1133. I mean-
- Oh, this is precious.Copy !req
1134. the ogre has fallen in love with the princess!Copy !req
1135. - Oh, good Lord.Copy !req
1136. An ogre and a princess!Copy !req
1137. Shrek, is this true?Copy !req
1138. Who cares? It's preposterous!Copy !req
1139. Fiona, my love, we're but a kiss away for our "happily ever after. "Copy !req
1140. Now kiss me! Mmmm!Copy !req
1141. "By night one way, by day another. "Copy !req
1142. I wanted to show you before.Copy !req
1143. Well, uh,Copy !req
1144. that explains a lot.Copy !req
1145. Ugh! It's disgusting!Copy !req
1146. Guards! Guards!Copy !req
1147. I order you to get that out of my sight now! Get them!Copy !req
1148. - Get them both!
- No, no!Copy !req
1149. This hocus-pocus alters nothing. This marriage is binding, and that makes me king!Copy !req
1150. - See? See?
- No, let go of me! Shrek!Copy !req
1151. - No!
Don't just stand there, you morons.Copy !req
1152. Get out of my way! Fiona!Copy !req
1153. Arrgh!Copy !req
1154. I'll make you regret the day we met. I'll see you drawn and quartered!Copy !req
1155. - You'll beg for death to save you!
- No! Shrek!Copy !req
1156. - And as for you, my wife.
- Fiona!Copy !req
1157. I'll have you locked back in that tower for the rest of your days!Copy !req
1158. - I am king!Copy !req
1159. I will have order! I will have perfection! I will have-Copy !req
1160. Aaah!Copy !req
1161. - Aah!
- All right. Nobody move.Copy !req
1162. I got a dragon here, and I'm not afraid to use it.Copy !req
1163. - I'm a donkey on the edge!Copy !req
1164. Celebrity marriages. They never last, do they?Copy !req
1165. Go ahead Shrek.Copy !req
1166. Uh, Fiona?Copy !req
1167. Yes, Shrek?Copy !req
1168. I- I love you.Copy !req
1169. Really?Copy !req
1170. Really, really.Copy !req
1171. I love you too.Copy !req
1172. Aawww!Copy !req
1173. "Until you find true love's first kiss...Copy !req
1174. and then take love's true form. "Copy !req
1175. "Take love's true form. Take love's true form. "Copy !req
1176. Fiona?Copy !req
1177. Fiona.Copy !req
1178. Are you all right?Copy !req
1179. Well, yes.Copy !req
1180. But I don't understand.Copy !req
1181. I'm supposed to be beautiful.Copy !req
1182. But you are beautiful.Copy !req
1183. I was hoping this would be a happy ending.Copy !req
1184. I thought love was only true in fairy talesCopy !req
1185. Oy!Copy !req
1186. Meant for someone else but not for meCopy !req
1187. Love was out to get meCopy !req
1188. That's the way it seemedCopy !req
1189. Disappointment haunted all my dreamsCopy !req
1190. And then I saw her faceCopy !req
1191. Now I'm a believerCopy !req
1192. And not a traceCopy !req
1193. Of doubt in my mindCopy !req
1194. - I'm in love
- Ooh-aahCopy !req
1195. I'm a believer I couldn't leave herCopy !req
1196. If I triedCopy !req
1197. God bless us, every one.Copy !req
1198. Come on, y'all! Ha ha!Copy !req
1199. Now I'm a believerCopy !req
1200. Not a traceCopy !req
1201. Of doubt in my mindCopy !req
1202. I'm in love Ooh-ahhCopy !req
1203. I'm a believer I couldn't leave her if I triedCopy !req
1204. - Ooh!
- Uh!Copy !req
1205. Then I saw her faceCopy !req
1206. Now I'm a believerCopy !req
1207. Not a traceCopy !req
1208. Of doubt in my mindCopy !req
1209. I'm in love I'm a believerCopy !req
1210. Come on!Copy !req
1211. I believe, I believe
I believe, I believeCopy !req
1212. I believe, I believe
I believe, I believe, I believe, heyCopy !req
1213. Y'all sing it with me!Copy !req
1214. BelieveCopy !req
1215. I believeCopy !req
1216. - I believe
- I'm a believerCopy !req
1217. I believeCopy !req
1218. Oh, that's funny.
Oh. Oh.Copy !req
1219. I can't breathe.
I can't breathe.Copy !req
1220. I believe in self-assertionCopy !req
1221. Destiny or a slight divertionCopy !req
1222. Now it seems I've got my head on straightCopy !req
1223. I'm freak an apparitionCopy !req
1224. Seems I've made the right decisionCopy !req
1225. To try to turn back now it might be too lateCopy !req
1226. - I want to stay home today
- Don't wanna go outCopy !req
1227. - If anyone comes to play
- Gonna get thrown outCopy !req
1228. - I wanna stay home today
- Don't want no companyCopy !req
1229. No wayCopy !req
1230. Yeah, yeah, yeahCopy !req
1231. I wanna be a millionaire somedayCopy !req
1232. But know what it feels like to give it awayCopy !req
1233. Watch me march to the beat of my own drumCopy !req
1234. And it's off to the moon and then bak againCopy !req
1235. Same old day
Same situationCopy !req
1236. My happiness rears back as if to sayCopy !req
1237. - I wanna stay home today
- Don't wanna go outCopy !req
1238. - If anyone comes my way
- Gonna get thrown outCopy !req
1239. - I wanna stay home today
- Don't want no companyCopy !req
1240. No wayCopy !req
1241. Yeah, yeah, yeahCopy !req
1242. I wanna stay home
stay home, stay homeCopy !req
1243. - I wanna stay home today
- Don't wanna go outCopy !req
1244. - If anyone comes my way
- Gonna get thrown outCopy !req
1245. I wanna stay home todayCopy !req
1246. Don't want no company
No wayCopy !req
1247. Yeah, yeah, yeahCopy !req
1248. I get such a thrill when you look in my eyesCopy !req
1249. My heart skips a beat
Girl, I feel so aliveCopy !req
1250. Please tell me, baby if all this is trueCopy !req
1251. 'Cause deep down inside alll wanted was youCopy !req
1252. Oh-oh-oh
Makes me wanna danceCopy !req
1253. Oh-oh-oh
It's a new romanceCopy !req
1254. Oh-oh-oh
I look into your eyesCopy !req
1255. Oh-oh-oh
The best years of our livesCopy !req
1256. When we first met I could hardly believeCopy !req
1257. The things that would happen and we could achieveCopy !req
1258. So let's be together for all of our timeCopy !req
1259. Oh, girl, I'm so thankful that you are still mineCopy !req
1260. You always consider me like an ugly ducklingCopy !req
1261. And treat me like a Nostradamus was why I had to get my shine onCopy !req
1262. I break a little something to keep my mind onCopy !req
1263. 'Cause you had my mond gone Eh-eh, eh-eh, eh-ehCopy !req
1264. Turn the lights on, Come on, baby
Let's just rewind the songCopy !req
1265. 'Cause all I want to do is make the rest years the best yearsCopy !req
1266. All night longCopy !req
1267. - Oh-oh-oh, makes me wanna dance
- Makes me wanna danceCopy !req
1268. - Oh-oh-oh, it's a new romance
- It's a new romanceCopy !req
1269. - Oh-oh-oh, I look into your eyes
- Oh, yeah, yeahCopy !req
1270. - Look into your eyes
- Oh-oh-ohCopy !req
1271. - The best years of our lives
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeahCopy !req
1272. - Oh-oh-oh, makes me wanna dance
- Whoa-oh-oh, dance, yeahCopy !req
1273. Oh-oh-oh
It's a new romanceCopy !req
1274. - Oh-oh-oh, I look into your eyes
- Look into your eyes, yeahCopy !req
1275. Oh-oh-oh
The best years of our livesCopy !req
1276. Everything looks brightCopy !req
1277. Standing in your lightCopy !req
1278. Everything feels rightCopy !req
1279. What's left is out of sightCopy !req
1280. What's a girl to do I'm
telling you You're on my mindCopy !req
1281. I wanna be with youCopy !req
1282. 'Cause when you're standin' next to meCopy !req
1283. It's like wowCopy !req
1284. And all your kisses seem to set me freeCopy !req
1285. It's like wowCopy !req
1286. And when we touch it's such a rush I can't get enoughCopy !req
1287. It's like- It's like
Ooh-oohCopy !req
1288. Hey, whatCopy !req
1289. It's like wow
Ooh-ooh, heyCopy !req
1290. Hey, yeah
It's like wowCopy !req
1291. Everything is looking right now, right nowCopy !req
1292. - It's like wow
- And I got this feelingCopy !req
1293. This feeling it's just like wowCopy !req
1294. It's just like wowCopy !req
1295. - You are all I'm thinking of.Copy !req
1296. Everything feels right
Everything feels rightCopy !req
1297. - Like wow
- Everything looks brightCopy !req
1298. All my senses are rightCopy !req
1299. - Like wow
- Everything feels rightCopy !req
1300. Baby, baby, baby the way I'm feeling youCopy !req
1301. Is like wowCopy !req
1302. There is something that I seeCopy !req
1303. In the way you look at meCopy !req
1304. There's a smile
There's a truthCopy !req
1305. In your eyesCopy !req
1306. What an unexpected wayCopy !req
1307. On this unexpected dayCopy !req
1308. Could it beCopy !req
1309. This is where I belongCopy !req
1310. It is you I have lovedCopy !req
1311. All alongCopy !req
1312. There's no more mysteryCopy !req
1313. It's finally clear to meCopy !req
1314. You're the home my heart's searched forCopy !req
1315. So longCopy !req
1316. It is you I have lovedCopy !req
1317. All alongCopy !req
1318. Whoa, over and overCopy !req
1319. I'm filled with emotionCopy !req
1320. As I lookCopy !req
1321. Into your perfect faceCopy !req