1. Once upon a time
in a kingdom far, far away,Copy !req
2. the king and queen were blessed
with a beautiful baby girl.Copy !req
3. And throughout the land,
everyone was happy...Copy !req
4. until the sun went downCopy !req
5. and they saw that their daughter was
cursed with a frightful enchantmentCopy !req
6. that took hold each and every night.Copy !req
7. Desperate, they sought the help
of a fairy godmotherCopy !req
8. who had them lock the young princess
away in a tower,Copy !req
9. there to await the kiss...
of the handsome Prince Charming.Copy !req
10. It was he who would chance
the perilous journeyCopy !req
11. through blistering cold
and scorching desertCopy !req
12. traveling for many days and nights,Copy !req
13. risking life and limbCopy !req
14. to reach the Dragon's keep.Copy !req
15. For he was the bravest,Copy !req
16. and most handsome...Copy !req
17. in all the land.Copy !req
18. And it was destiny that his kissCopy !req
19. would break the dreaded curse.Copy !req
20. He alone would climb to the highest room
of the tallest towerCopy !req
21. to enter the princess's chambers,
cross the room to her sleeping silhouette,Copy !req
22. pull back the gossamer curtains
to find her...Copy !req
23. What?Copy !req
24. - Princess... Fiona?
- No!Copy !req
25. Oh, thank heavens.
Where is she?Copy !req
26. - She's on her honeymoon.
- Honeymoon? With whom?Copy !req
27. Hyah!Copy !req
28. It's so good to be home!Copy !req
29. Just you and me and...Copy !req
30. - Two can be as bad as one...
- Donkey?Copy !req
31. Shrek! Fiona! Aren't you two
a sight for sore eyes!Copy !req
32. Give us a hug, Shrek,
you old love machine.Copy !req
33. And look at you, Mrs. Shrek.
How 'bout a side of sugar for the steed?Copy !req
34. Donkey, what are you doing here?Copy !req
35. Taking care of your love nest for you.Copy !req
36. Oh, you mean like... sorting the mail
and watering the plants?Copy !req
37. - Yeah, and feeding the fish!
- I don't have any fish.Copy !req
38. You do now. I call that one Shrek
and the other Fiona.Copy !req
39. That Shrek is a rascally devil.
Get your...Copy !req
40. Look at the time.
I guess you'd better be going.Copy !req
41. Don't you want to tell me about your trip?
Or how about a game of Parcheesi?Copy !req
42. Actually, Donkey? Shouldn't you be
getting home to Dragon?Copy !req
43. Oh, yeah, that.Copy !req
44. I don't know.
She's been all moody and stuff lately.Copy !req
45. I thought I'd move in with you.Copy !req
46. You know we're always happy
to see you, Donkey.Copy !req
47. But Fiona and I are married now.Copy !req
48. We need a little time, you know,
to be together.Copy !req
49. Just with each other.Copy !req
50. Alone.Copy !req
51. Say no more.
You don't have to worry about a thing.Copy !req
52. I will always be here to make sure
nobody bothers you.Copy !req
53. - Donkey!
- Yes, roomie?Copy !req
54. You're bothering me.Copy !req
55. Oh, OK. All right, cool. I guess...Copy !req
56. Me and Pinocchio was going to catch
a tournament, anyway, so...Copy !req
57. Maybe I'll see y'all Sunday
for a barbecue or something.Copy !req
58. He'll be fine.
Now, where were we?Copy !req
59. Oh.Copy !req
60. I think I remember.Copy !req
61. Donkey!Copy !req
62. I know, I know! Alone!
I'm going! I'm going.Copy !req
63. What do you want me
to tell these other guys?Copy !req
64. Enough, Reggie.Copy !req
65. "Dearest Princess Fiona.Copy !req
66. "You are hereby summoned
to the Kingdom of Far, Far AwayCopy !req
67. "for a royal ball
in celebration of your marriageCopy !req
68. "at which time the KingCopy !req
69. "will bestow his royal blessing...
upon you and your..."Copy !req
70. uh... "Prince Charming.Copy !req
71. "Love, the King and Queen
of Far, Far Away.Copy !req
72. "aka Mom and Dad."Copy !req
73. Mom and Dad?Copy !req
74. - Prince Charming?
- Royal ball? Can I come?Copy !req
75. - We're not going.
- What?Copy !req
76. I mean, don't you think
they might be a bit...Copy !req
77. shocked to see you like this?Copy !req
78. Well, they might be
a bit surprised.Copy !req
79. But they're my parents, Shrek.
They love me.Copy !req
80. And don't worry.
They'll love you, too.Copy !req
81. Yeah, right.Copy !req
82. Somehow I don't think I'll be welcome
at the country club.Copy !req
83. Stop it.
They're not like that.Copy !req
84. How do you explain Sergeant Pompous
and the Fancy Pants Club Band?Copy !req
85. Oh, come on! You could at least
give them a chance.Copy !req
86. To do what?
Sharpen their pitchforks?Copy !req
87. No! They just want
to give you their blessing.Copy !req
88. Oh, great.
Now I need their blessing?Copy !req
89. If you want to be a part
of this family, yes!Copy !req
90. Who says I want
to be part of this family?Copy !req
91. You did!
When you married me!Copy !req
92. Well, there's some fine print for you!Copy !req
93. So that's it. You won't come?Copy !req
94. Trust me. It's a bad idea.
We are not going! And that's final!Copy !req
95. Come on!
We don't want to hit traffic!Copy !req
96. Don't worry!
We'll take care of everything.Copy !req
97. Hey, wait for me. Oof!Copy !req
98. - Are we there yet?
- No.Copy !req
99. - Are we there yet?
- Not yet.Copy !req
100. - OK, are we there yet?
- No.Copy !req
101. - Are we there yet?
- No!Copy !req
102. - Are we there yet?
- Yes.Copy !req
103. - Really?
- No!Copy !req
104. - Are we there yet?
- No!Copy !req
105. - Are we there yet?
- We are not!Copy !req
106. - Are we there yet?
- No!Copy !req
107. Are we there yet?Copy !req
108. That's not funny. That's really immature.Copy !req
109. This is why nobody likes ogres.Copy !req
110. Your loss!Copy !req
111. - I'm gonna just stop talking.
- Finally!Copy !req
112. This is taking forever, Shrek.
There's no in-flight movie or nothing!Copy !req
113. The Kingdom of Far, Far Away, Donkey.Copy !req
114. That's where we're going.
Far, far...Copy !req
115. away!Copy !req
116. All right, all right, I get it.
I'm just so darn bored.Copy !req
117. Well, find a way
to entertain yourself.Copy !req
118. For five minutes...Copy !req
119. Could you not be yourself...Copy !req
120. for five minutes!Copy !req
121. Are we there yet?Copy !req
122. - Yes!
- Oh, finally!Copy !req
123. Wow!Copy !req
124. It's going to be champagne wishes
and caviar dreams from now on.Copy !req
125. Hey, good-looking!
We'll be back to pick you up later!Copy !req
126. We are definitely not
in the swamp anymore.Copy !req
127. Halt!Copy !req
128. Hey, everyone, look.Copy !req
129. Hey, ladies! Nice day for a parade, huh?
You working that hat.Copy !req
130. Swimming pools!
Movie stars!Copy !req
131. Announcing the long-awaited returnCopy !req
132. of the beautiful Princess Fiona
and her new husband.Copy !req
133. Well, this is it.Copy !req
134. - This is it.
- This is it.Copy !req
135. This is it.Copy !req
136. Uh... why don't you guys go ahead?
I'll park the car.Copy !req
137. So...Copy !req
138. you still think
this was a good idea?Copy !req
139. Of course! Look.
Mom and Dad look happy to see us.Copy !req
140. - Who on earth are they?
- I think that's our little girl.Copy !req
141. That's not little!
That's a really big problem.Copy !req
142. Wasn't she supposed to kiss
Prince Charming and break the spell?Copy !req
143. Well, he's no Prince Charming,
but they do look...Copy !req
144. Happy now?
We came. We saw them.Copy !req
145. Now let's go before
they light the torches.Copy !req
146. - They're my parents.
- Hello? They locked you in a tower.Copy !req
147. That was for my own...Copy !req
148. Good! Here's our chance. Let's go
back inside and pretend we're not home.Copy !req
149. Harold, we have to be...Copy !req
150. Quick! While they're not looking
we can make a run for it.Copy !req
151. Shrek, stop it!
Everything's gonna be...Copy !req
152. A disaster! There is no way...Copy !req
153. - You can do this.
- I really...Copy !req
154. - Really...
- don't... want... to... be...Copy !req
155. Here!Copy !req
156. Mom... Dad...Copy !req
157. I'd like you to meet my husband...Copy !req
158. Shrek.Copy !req
159. Well, um...Copy !req
160. It's easy to see where Fiona
gets her good looks from.Copy !req
161. Excuse me.Copy !req
162. Better out than in,
I always say, eh, Fiona?Copy !req
163. That's good.Copy !req
164. I guess not.Copy !req
165. What do you mean, "not on the list"?
Don't tell me you don't know who I am.Copy !req
166. What's happening, everybody?
Thanks for waiting.Copy !req
167. - I had the hardest time finding this place.
- No! No! Bad donkey! Bad! Down!Copy !req
168. No, Dad! It's all right.
It's all right. He's with us.Copy !req
169. - He helped rescue me from the dragon.
- That's me: the noble steed.Copy !req
170. Waiter!
How 'bout a bowl for the steed?Copy !req
171. Oh, boy.Copy !req
172. - Um, Shrek?
- Yeah?Copy !req
173. Oh, sorry!
Great soup, Mrs Q.Copy !req
174. Mmm!Copy !req
175. No, no. Darling.Copy !req
176. Oh!Copy !req
177. So, Fiona, tell us
about where you live.Copy !req
178. Well...Copy !req
179. Shrek owns his own land.Copy !req
180. - Don't you, honey?
- Oh, yes!Copy !req
181. It's in an enchanted forestCopy !req
182. abundant in squirrels
and cute little duckies and...Copy !req
183. What?Copy !req
184. I know you ain't
talking about the swamp.Copy !req
185. An ogre from a swamp.
Oh! How original.Copy !req
186. I suppose that would be a fine place
to raise the children.Copy !req
187. It's a bit early to be
thinking about that, isn't it?Copy !req
188. - Indeed. I just started eating.
- Harold!Copy !req
189. - What's that supposed to mean?
- Dad. It's great, OK?Copy !req
190. - For his type, yes.
- My type?Copy !req
191. I got to go to the bathroom.Copy !req
192. - Dinner is served!
- Never mind. I can hold it.Copy !req
193. Bon appetit!Copy !req
194. Oh, Mexican food!
My favorite.Copy !req
195. Let's not sit here with our tummies
rumbling. Everybody dig in.Copy !req
196. Don't mind if I do, Lillian.Copy !req
197. I suppose any grandchildren
I could expect from you would be...Copy !req
198. Ogres, yes!Copy !req
199. Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Right, Harold?Copy !req
200. Oh, no! No! Of course, not!Copy !req
201. That is, assuming you don't
eat your own young!Copy !req
202. Dad!Copy !req
203. No, we usually prefer the ones
who've been locked away in a tower!Copy !req
204. - Shrek, please!
- I only did that because I love her.Copy !req
205. Aye, day care
or dragon-guarded castle.Copy !req
206. You wouldn't understand.
You're not her father!Copy !req
207. It's so nice to have the family
together for dinner.Copy !req
208. - Harold!
- Shrek!Copy !req
209. - Fiona!
- Fiona!Copy !req
210. - Mom!
- Harold...Copy !req
211. Donkey!Copy !req
212. Oh, my dear.
Oh, look at you.Copy !req
213. You're all grown up.Copy !req
214. - Who are you?
- Oh, sweet pea!Copy !req
215. I'm your fairy godmother.Copy !req
216. - I have a fairy godmother?
- Shush, shush.Copy !req
217. Now, don't worry.
I'm here to make it all better.Copy !req
218. With just a...Copy !req
219. Stop!Copy !req
220. Look...Copy !req
221. Thank you very much,
Fairy Godmother,Copy !req
222. but I really don't need all this.Copy !req
223. - Fine. Be that way.
- We didn't like you, anyway.Copy !req
224. Fiona? Fiona?Copy !req
225. Oh! You got a puppy?
All I got in my room was shampoo.Copy !req
226. Oh, uh...Copy !req
227. Fairy Godmother, furniture...Copy !req
228. I'd like you to meet my husband, Shrek.Copy !req
229. Your husband? What? What did you say?
When did this happen?Copy !req
230. Shrek is the one who rescued me.Copy !req
231. - But that can't be right.
- Oh, great, more relatives!Copy !req
232. She's just trying to help.Copy !req
233. Good! She can help us pack.
Get your coat, dear. We're leaving.Copy !req
234. - What?
- I don't want to leave.Copy !req
235. When did you decide this?Copy !req
236. - Shortly after arriving.
- Look, I'm sorry...Copy !req
237. No, that's all right.
I need to go, anyway.Copy !req
238. But remember, dear.
If you should ever need me...Copy !req
239. happiness...Copy !req
240. is just a teardrop away.Copy !req
241. Thanks, but we've got all
the happiness we need.Copy !req
242. Happy, happy, happy...Copy !req
243. So I see.Copy !req
244. Let's go, Kyle.Copy !req
245. - Very nice, Shrek.
- What?Copy !req
246. I told you coming here was a bad idea.Copy !req
247. You could've at least tried
to get along with my father.Copy !req
248. I don't think I was going to get
Daddy's blessing,Copy !req
249. even if I did want it.Copy !req
250. Do you think it might be nice
if somebody asked me what I wanted?Copy !req
251. Sure. Do you want me
to pack for you?Copy !req
252. You're unbelievable!
You're behaving like a...Copy !req
253. - Go on! Say it!
- Like an ogre!Copy !req
254. Here's a news flash for you!Copy !req
255. Whether your parents like it or not...
I am an ogre!Copy !req
256. And guess what, Princess?
That's not about to change.Copy !req
257. I've made changes for you, Shrek.
Think about that.Copy !req
258. That's real smooth, Shrek.
"I'm an ogre!"Copy !req
259. I knew this would happen.Copy !req
260. You should.
You started it.Copy !req
261. I can hardly believe that, Lillian.
He's the ogre. Not me.Copy !req
262. I think, Harold, you're taking this
a little too personally.Copy !req
263. This is Fiona's choice.Copy !req
264. But she was supposed to choose
the prince we picked for her.Copy !req
265. I mean, you expect me to give
my blessings to this... thing?Copy !req
266. Fiona does.
And she'll never forgive you if you don't.Copy !req
267. I don't want to lose
our daughter again, Harold.Copy !req
268. Oh, you act as if love
is totally predictable.Copy !req
269. Don't you remember when
we were young?Copy !req
270. We used to walk
down by the lily pond and...Copy !req
271. - they were in bloom...
- Our first kiss.Copy !req
272. It's not the same!Copy !req
273. I don't think you realize that
our daughter has married a monster!Copy !req
274. Oh, stop being such a drama king.Copy !req
275. Fine! Pretend there's nothing wrong!Copy !req
276. La, di, da, di, da!
Isn't it all wonderful!Copy !req
277. I'd like to know
how it could get any worse!Copy !req
278. Hello, Harold.Copy !req
279. - What happened?
- Nothing, dear!Copy !req
280. Just the old crusade wound
playing up a bit!Copy !req
281. I'll just stretch it
out here for a while.Copy !req
282. You better get in.
We need to talk.Copy !req
283. Actually, Fairy Godmother,
off to bed.Copy !req
284. Already taken my pills,
and they tend to make me a bit drowsy.Copy !req
285. So, how about... we make this
a quick visit. What?Copy !req
286. Oh, hello.
Ha-ha-ha!Copy !req
287. So, what's new?Copy !req
288. You remember my son,
Prince Charming?Copy !req
289. Is that you? My gosh!
It's been years.Copy !req
290. When did you get back?Copy !req
291. Oh, about five minutes ago, actually.Copy !req
292. After I endured blistering winds,
scorching desert...Copy !req
293. I climbed to the highest room
in the tallest tower...Copy !req
294. Mommy can handle this.Copy !req
295. He endures blistering winds
and scorching desert!Copy !req
296. He climbs to the highest bloody room
of the tallest bloody tower...Copy !req
297. And what does he find?Copy !req
298. Some gender-confused wolf
telling him that his princessCopy !req
299. is already married.Copy !req
300. It wasn't my fault.
He didn't get there in time.Copy !req
301. Stop the car!Copy !req
302. Harold.Copy !req
303. You force me to do something
I really don't want to do.Copy !req
304. Where are we?Copy !req
305. Hi. Welcome to Friar's Fat Boy!
May I take your order?Copy !req
306. My diet is ruined!
I hope you're happy. Er... okay.Copy !req
307. Two Renaissance Wraps,
no mayo... chili rings...Copy !req
308. - I'll have the Medieval Meal.
- One Medieval Meal and, Harold...Copy !req
309. - Curly fries?
- No, thank you.Copy !req
310. - Sourdough soft taco, then?
- No, really, I'm fine.Copy !req
311. Your order, Fairy Godmother.
This comes with the Medieval Meal.Copy !req
312. There you are, dear.Copy !req
313. We made a deal, Harold, and I assume
you don't want me to go back on my part.Copy !req
314. Indeed not.Copy !req
315. So, Fiona and Charming will be together.Copy !req
316. - Yes.
- Believe me, Harold. It's what's best.Copy !req
317. Not only for your daughter...Copy !req
318. but for your Kingdom.Copy !req
319. What am I supposed to do about it?Copy !req
320. Use your imagination.Copy !req
321. Oh...Copy !req
322. Come on in, Your Majesty.Copy !req
323. Excuse me.Copy !req
324. Do I know you?Copy !req
325. No, you must be mistaking me
for someone else.Copy !req
326. Uh... excuse me.
I'm looking for the Ugly Stepsister.Copy !req
327. Ah! There you are. Right.Copy !req
328. You see, I need to have
someone taken care of.Copy !req
329. - Who's the guy?
- Well, he's not a guy, per se.Copy !req
330. Um... He's an ogre.Copy !req
331. Hey, buddy, let me clue you in.Copy !req
332. There's only one fellow who can handle
a job like that, and, frankly...Copy !req
333. he don't like to be disturbed.Copy !req
334. Where could I find him?Copy !req
335. Hello?Copy !req
336. Who dares enter my room?Copy !req
337. Sorry! I hope I'm not interrupting, but
I'm told you're the one to talk toCopy !req
338. about an ogre problem?Copy !req
339. You are told correct.Copy !req
340. But for this, I charge
a great deal of money.Copy !req
341. Would... this be enough?Copy !req
342. You have engaged my valuable
services, Your Majesty.Copy !req
343. Just tell me where
I can find this ogre.Copy !req
344. Dear Knight, I pray that you take
this favor as a token of my gratitude.Copy !req
345. Dear Diary...Copy !req
346. Sleeping Beauty is having
a slumber party tomorrow,Copy !req
347. but Dad says I can't go.
He never lets me out after sunset.Copy !req
348. Dad says I'm going away for a while.Copy !req
349. Must be like some finishing school.Copy !req
350. Mom says that when I'm old enough,Copy !req
351. my Prince Charming will rescue me
from my towerCopy !req
352. and bring me back to my family,Copy !req
353. and we'll all live
happily ever after.Copy !req
354. Mrs. Fiona Charming.Copy !req
355. Mrs. Fiona Charming.Copy !req
356. Mrs. Fiona Charming.Copy !req
357. Mrs. Fiona Charming.Copy !req
358. Sorry. I hope I'm not
interrupting anything.Copy !req
359. No, no. I was just reading a, uh...
a scary book.Copy !req
360. I was hoping you'd let me apologize
for my despicable behavior earlier.Copy !req
361. - Okay...
- I don't know what came over me.Copy !req
362. Do you suppose we could pretend
it never happened and start over...Copy !req
363. - Look, Your Majesty, I just...
- Please. Call me Dad.Copy !req
364. Dad. We both acted like ogres.Copy !req
365. Maybe we just need some time
to get to know each other.Copy !req
366. Excellent idea! I was actually hoping
you might join me for a morning hunt.Copy !req
367. A little father-son time?Copy !req
368. I know it would mean
the world to Fiona.Copy !req
369. Shall we say,
7:30 by the old oak?Copy !req
370. Face it, Donkey!
We're lost.Copy !req
371. We can't be lost. We followed
the King's instructions exactly.Copy !req
372. "Head to the
darkest part of the woods..."Copy !req
373. "Past the sinister trees
with scary-looking branches."Copy !req
374. - The bush shaped like Shirley Bassey!
- We passed that three times already!Copy !req
375. You were the one who said
not to stop for directions.Copy !req
376. Oh, great. My one chance
to fix things up with Fiona's dadCopy !req
377. and I end up lost
in the woods with you!Copy !req
378. Don't get huffy!
I'm only trying to help.Copy !req
379. I know! I know.Copy !req
380. - I'm sorry, all right?
- Hey, don't worry about it.Copy !req
381. I just really need to make
things work with this guy.Copy !req
382. Yeah, sure. Now let's go
bond with Daddy.Copy !req
383. Well, well, well, Donkey.Copy !req
384. I know it was kind of a tender
moment back there, but the purring?Copy !req
385. What? I ain't purring.Copy !req
386. Sure. What's next? A hug?Copy !req
387. Hey, Shrek. Donkeys don't purr.
What do you think I am, some kind of a...Copy !req
388. Ha-ha!
Fear me, if you dare!Copy !req
389. Look! A little cat.Copy !req
390. - Look out, Shrek! He got a piece!
- It's a cat, Donkey.Copy !req
391. Come here,
little kitty, kitty.Copy !req
392. Come on, little kitty. Come here.
Oh! Come here, little kitty.Copy !req
393. Whoa!Copy !req
394. - Hold on, Shrek! I'm coming!
- Come on! Get it off! Get it off!Copy !req
395. Oh, God. Oh...Copy !req
396. No!Copy !req
397. - Look out, Shrek! Hold still!
- Get it off!Copy !req
398. Shrek! Hold still!Copy !req
399. - Did I miss?
- No. You got them.Copy !req
400. Now, ye ogre, pray for mercy from...Copy !req
401. Puss... in Boots!Copy !req
402. I'll kill that cat!Copy !req
403. Ah-ha-ha!Copy !req
404. - Hairball.
- Oh! That is nasty!Copy !req
405. What should we do with him?Copy !req
406. Take the sword and neuter him.
Give him the Bob Barker treatment.Copy !req
407. Oh, no! Por favor!
Please!Copy !req
408. I implore you!
It was nothing personal, Senor.Copy !req
409. I was doing it only for my family.Copy !req
410. My mother, she is sick.
And my father lives off the garbage!Copy !req
411. The King offered me much in gold
and I have a litter of brothers...Copy !req
412. Whoa, whoa, whoa!Copy !req
413. Fiona's father paid you to do this?Copy !req
414. The rich King? Sí.Copy !req
415. Well, so much for Dad's royal blessing.Copy !req
416. Don't feel bad. Almost everybody
that meets you wants to kill you.Copy !req
417. Gee, thanks.Copy !req
418. Maybe Fiona would've been better off
if I were some sort of Prince Charming.Copy !req
419. That's what the King said.Copy !req
420. Oh, uh... sorry. I thought that question
was directed at me.Copy !req
421. Shrek, Fiona knows
you'd do anything for her.Copy !req
422. Well, it's not like
I wouldn't change if I could.Copy !req
423. I just... I just wish
I could make her happy.Copy !req
424. Hold the phone...Copy !req
425. "Happiness."Copy !req
426. "A tear drop away."Copy !req
427. Donkey! Think of the saddest thing
that's ever happened to you!Copy !req
428. Aw, man, where do I begin?Copy !req
429. First there was the time that old farmer
tried to sell me for some magic beans.Copy !req
430. Then this fool had a party and he have
the guests trying to pin the tail on me.Copy !req
431. Then they got drunk and start beating me
with a stick, going "Pinata!"Copy !req
432. What is a pinata, anyway?Copy !req
433. No, Donkey! I need you to cry!Copy !req
434. Don't go projecting on me.Copy !req
435. I know you're feeling bad,
but you got to...Copy !req
436. You little, hairy,
litter-licking sack of...Copy !req
437. What? Is it on? Is it on?Copy !req
438. This is Fairy Godmother.Copy !req
439. I'm either away
from my desk or with a client.Copy !req
440. But if you come by the office, we'll be
glad to make you an appointment.Copy !req
441. Have a "happy ever after."Copy !req
442. Oh...Copy !req
443. Are you up for a little quest, Donkey?Copy !req
444. That's more like it! Shrek and Donkey,
on another whirlwind adventure!Copy !req
445. - Stop, Ogre! I have misjudged you.
- Join the club. We've got jackets.Copy !req
446. On my honor, I am obliged to accompany
you until I have saved your lifeCopy !req
447. as you have spared me mine.Copy !req
448. The position of annoying talking animal
has already been taken.Copy !req
449. Let's go, Shrek. Shrek?Copy !req
450. - Shrek!
- Aw, come on, Donkey. Look at him...Copy !req
451. in his wee little boots.Copy !req
452. You know, how many cats can wear boots?
Honestly.Copy !req
453. - Let's keep him!
- Say what?Copy !req
454. Ahh!Copy !req
455. Listen. He's purring!Copy !req
456. - Oh, so now it's cute.
- Come on, Donkey. Lighten up.Copy !req
457. Lighten up? I should lighten up?
Look who's telling who to lighten up!Copy !req
458. Shrek!Copy !req
459. Shrek?Copy !req
460. They're both festive, aren't they?Copy !req
461. What do you think, Harold?Copy !req
462. Um... Yes, yes.
Fine. Fine.Copy !req
463. Try to at least pretend you're interested
in your daughter's wedding ball.Copy !req
464. Honestly, Lillian,
I don't think it matters.Copy !req
465. How do we know there will
even be a ball?Copy !req
466. Mom. Dad.Copy !req
467. - Oh, hello, dear.
- What's that, Cedric? Right! Coming.Copy !req
468. Mom, have you seen Shrek?Copy !req
469. I haven't.
You should ask your father.Copy !req
470. Be sure and use small words, dear.
He's a little slow this morning.Copy !req
471. - Can I help you, Your Majesty?
- Ah, yes! Um...Copy !req
472. Mmm! Exquisite.
What do you call this dish?Copy !req
473. That would be the dog's breakfast,
Your Majesty.Copy !req
474. Ah, yes. Very good, then.
Carry on, Cedric.Copy !req
475. - Dad? Dad, have you seen Shrek?
- No, I haven't, dear.Copy !req
476. I'm sure he just went off to look for
a nice... mud hole to cool down in.Copy !req
477. You know, after your
little spat last night.Copy !req
478. Oh. You heard that, huh?Copy !req
479. The whole kingdom heard you.Copy !req
480. I mean, after all,
it is in his nature to be...Copy !req
481. well, a bit of a brute.Copy !req
482. Him? You know, you didn't exactly
roll out the Welcome Wagon.Copy !req
483. Well, what did you expect?
Look at what he's done to you.Copy !req
484. Shrek loves me for who I am.Copy !req
485. I would think you'd be happy for me.Copy !req
486. Darling, I'm just thinking about
what's best for you.Copy !req
487. Maybe you should do the same.Copy !req
488. No, really?Copy !req
489. Shh...Copy !req
490. Oh...Copy !req
491. Oh, no. That's the old Keebler's place.
Let's back away slowly.Copy !req
492. That's the Fairy Godmother's cottage.Copy !req
493. She's the largest producer of hexes
and potions in the whole kingdom.Copy !req
494. Then why don't we pop in there
for a spell? Ha-ha! Spell!Copy !req
495. He makes me laugh.Copy !req
496. Hi. I'm here to see the...Copy !req
497. The Fairy Godmother.
I'm sorry. She is not in.Copy !req
498. Jerome!
Coffee and a Monte Cristo. Now!Copy !req
499. Yes, Fairy Godmother.
Right away.Copy !req
500. Look, she's not seeing
any clients today, OK?Copy !req
501. That's OK, buddy.
We're from the union.Copy !req
502. The union?Copy !req
503. We represent the workers in all magical
industries, both evil and benign.Copy !req
504. Oh! Oh, right.Copy !req
505. Are you feeling at all
degraded or oppressed?Copy !req
506. Uh... a little.
We don't even have dental.Copy !req
507. They don't even have dental.Copy !req
508. Okay, we'll just have
a look around.Copy !req
509. Oh. By the way.Copy !req
510. I think it'd be better if the Fairy Godmother
didn't know we were here.Copy !req
511. - Know what I'm saying? Huh?
- Huh? Huh? Huh?Copy !req
512. - Stop it.
- Of course. Go right in.Copy !req
513. A drop of desire.Copy !req
514. Naughty!Copy !req
515. A pinch of passion.Copy !req
516. And just a hint of...Copy !req
517. lust!Copy !req
518. Excuse me.Copy !req
519. Sorry to barge in like this...Copy !req
520. What in Grimm's name
are you doing here?Copy !req
521. Well, it seems
that Fiona's not exactly happy.Copy !req
522. Oh-ho-ho!Copy !req
523. And there's some question
as to why that is?Copy !req
524. Well, let's explore that, shall we?Copy !req
525. Ah. P, P, P...
Princess. Cinderella.Copy !req
526. Here we are.
"Lived happily ever after." Oh...Copy !req
527. No ogres!Copy !req
528. Let's see. Snow White.Copy !req
529. A handsome prince.
Oh, no ogres.Copy !req
530. Sleeping Beauty. Oh, no ogres!Copy !req
531. Hansel and Gretel? No!
Thumbelina? No.Copy !req
532. The Golden Bird,
the Little Mermaid, Pretty Woman...Copy !req
533. No, no, no, no, no!Copy !req
534. You see, ogres don't
live happily ever after.Copy !req
535. All right, look, lady!Copy !req
536. Don't you point...
those dirty green sausages at me!Copy !req
537. Your Monte Cristo and coffee.Copy !req
538. Oh! Sorry.Copy !req
539. Ah... that's okay.Copy !req
540. We were just leaving.Copy !req
541. Very sorry to have wasted your time,
Miss Godmother.Copy !req
542. Just... go.Copy !req
543. Come on, guys.Copy !req
544. TGIF, eh, buddy?Copy !req
545. Working hard or hardly working,
eh, Mac?Copy !req
546. Get your fine Corinthian footwear
and your cat cheeks out of my face!Copy !req
547. Man, that stinks!Copy !req
548. You don't exactly smell like
a basket of roses.Copy !req
549. - Well, one of these has got to help.
- I was just concocting this very plan!Copy !req
550. Already our minds are becoming one.Copy !req
551. Whoa, whoa. If we need an expert on
licking ourselves, we'll give you a call.Copy !req
552. Shrek, this is a bad idea.Copy !req
553. Look. Make yourself useful
and go keep watch.Copy !req
554. Puss, do you think you
could get to those on top?Copy !req
555. No problema, boss.
In one of my nine lives,Copy !req
556. I was the great cat burglar
of Santiago de Compostela.Copy !req
557. Ha-ha-ha-ha!Copy !req
558. Shrek, are you off your nut?Copy !req
559. Donkey, keep watch.Copy !req
560. Keep watch?
Yeah, I'll keep watch.Copy !req
561. I'll watch that wicked witch come and
whammy a world of hurt up your backside.Copy !req
562. I'll laugh, too.
I'll be giggling to myself.Copy !req
563. - What do you see?
- Toad Stool Softener?Copy !req
564. I'm sure a nice BM is the perfect solution
for marital problems.Copy !req
565. - Elfa Seltzer?
- Uh-uh.Copy !req
566. - Hex Lax?
- No! Try "handsome."Copy !req
567. Sorry. No handsome.Copy !req
568. Hey! How about "Happily Ever After"?Copy !req
569. Well, what does it do?Copy !req
570. It says "Beauty Divine."Copy !req
571. In some cultures, donkeys are revered
as the wisest of creatures.Copy !req
572. Especially us talking ones.Copy !req
573. Donkey!Copy !req
574. That'll have to do.
We've got company.Copy !req
575. Can we get on with this?Copy !req
576. Hurry!Copy !req
577. Nice catch, Donkey!Copy !req
578. Finally! A good use for your mouth.Copy !req
579. Come on!Copy !req
580. I don't care whose fault it is.
Just get this place cleaned up!Copy !req
581. And somebody bring me something
deep fried and smothered in chocolate!Copy !req
582. - Mother!
- Charming. Sweetheart.Copy !req
583. This isn't a good time, pumpkin.
Mama's working.Copy !req
584. Whoa, what happened here?Copy !req
585. - The ogre, that's what!
- What? Where is he, Mom?Copy !req
586. I shall rend his head
from his shoulders!Copy !req
587. I will smite him where he stands!Copy !req
588. He will rue the very day he stole
my kingdom from me!Copy !req
589. Oh, put it away, Junior!
You're still going to be king.Copy !req
590. We'll just have to come up
with something smarter.Copy !req
591. Pardon. Um...Copy !req
592. Everything is accounted for,
Fairy Godmother, except for one potion.Copy !req
593. What?Copy !req
594. Oh...Copy !req
595. I do believe we can make
this work to our advantage.Copy !req
596. "Happily Ever After Potion.
Maximum strength.Copy !req
597. "For you and your true love.Copy !req
598. "If one of you drinks this,
you both will be fine.Copy !req
599. "Happiness, comfort
and beauty divine."Copy !req
600. - You both will be fine?
- I guess it means it'll affect Fiona, too.Copy !req
601. Hey, man, this don't feel right.
My donkey senses are tingling all over.Copy !req
602. Drop that jug o' voodoo
and let's get out of here.Copy !req
603. It says, "Beauty Divine."
How bad can it be?Copy !req
604. See, you're allergic to that stuff.
You'll have a reaction.Copy !req
605. And if you think that I'll be smearing
Vapor Rub over your chest, think again!Copy !req
606. Boss, just in case there is something
wrong with the potion...Copy !req
607. allow me to take the first sip.Copy !req
608. It would be an honor to lay my life
on the line for you.Copy !req
609. Oh, no, no. I don't think so.Copy !req
610. If there'll be any animal testing,
I'll do it.Copy !req
611. That's the best friend's job.
Now give me that bottle.Copy !req
612. How do you feel?Copy !req
613. I don't feel any different.
I look any different?Copy !req
614. You still look like an ass to me.Copy !req
615. Maybe it doesn't work on donkeys.Copy !req
616. - Well, here's to us, Fiona.
- Shrek?Copy !req
617. - You drink that, there's no going back.
- I know.Copy !req
618. - No more wallowing in the mud?
- I know.Copy !req
619. - No more itchy butt crack?
- I know!Copy !req
620. - But you love being an ogre!
- I know!Copy !req
621. But I love Fiona more.Copy !req
622. Shrek, no! Wait!Copy !req
623. Got to be... I think you grabbed
the "Farty Ever After" potion.Copy !req
624. Maybe it's a dud.Copy !req
625. Or maybe Fiona and I
were never meant to be.Copy !req
626. Uh-oh. What did I tell you?
I feel something coming on.Copy !req
627. I don't want to die.
I don't want to die. I don't want to die!Copy !req
628. Oh, sweet sister, mother of mercy.
I'm melting!Copy !req
629. I'm melting!Copy !req
630. It's just the rain, Donkey.Copy !req
631. Oh.Copy !req
632. Don't worry. Things seem bad
because it's dark and rainyCopy !req
633. and Fiona's father hired
a sleazy hitman to whack you.Copy !req
634. It'll be better in the morning.
You'll see...Copy !req
635. Bet my bottom?Copy !req
636. I'm coming, Elizabeth!Copy !req
637. Donkey?Copy !req
638. Are you all right?Copy !req
639. - Hey, boss. Let's shave him.
- D-Donkey?Copy !req
640. There you are!
We missed you at dinner.Copy !req
641. What is it, darling?Copy !req
642. Dad...Copy !req
643. I've been thinking
about what you said.Copy !req
644. And I'm going to set things right.Copy !req
645. Ah! Excellent!
That's my girl.Copy !req
646. It was a mistake to bring Shrek here.Copy !req
647. I'm going to go out and find him.Copy !req
648. And then we'll go back
to the swamp where we belong.Copy !req
649. Fiona, please!Copy !req
650. Let's not be rash, darling.
You can't go anywhere right now.Copy !req
651. Fiona!Copy !req
652. Look, I told you he was here.
Look at him! Quiet. Look at him.Copy !req
653. Good morning, sleepyhead.Copy !req
654. Good morning!Copy !req
655. We love your kitty!Copy !req
656. - Oh... My head...
- Here, I fetched a pail of water.Copy !req
657. Thanks.Copy !req
658. Uhh!Copy !req
659. Aahh!Copy !req
660. Oh...Copy !req
661. A cute button nose?Copy !req
662. Thick, wavy locks?Copy !req
663. Taut, round buttocks?Copy !req
664. I'm... I'm...Copy !req
665. - Gorgeous!
- I'll say.Copy !req
666. I'm Jill. What's your name?Copy !req
667. - Um... Shrek.
- Shrek? Wow. Are you from Europe?Copy !req
668. - You're tense.
- I want to rub his shoulders.Copy !req
669. - I got it covered.
- I don't have anything to rub.Copy !req
670. Get in line.Copy !req
671. - Have you seen my donkey?
- Who are you calling donkey?Copy !req
672. - Donkey? You're a...
- A stallion, baby!Copy !req
673. I can whinny.Copy !req
674. I can count.Copy !req
675. Look at me, Shrek!
I'm trotting!Copy !req
676. That's some quality potion.
What's in that stuff?Copy !req
677. "Oh, don't take the potion,
Mr. Boss, it's very bad."Copy !req
678. Pah!Copy !req
679. "Side effects may include
burning, itching, oozing, weeping.Copy !req
680. "Not intended for heart patients
or those with... nervous disorders."Copy !req
681. I'm trotting, I'm trotting in place! Yeah!Copy !req
682. What?Copy !req
683. Senor? "To make the effects
of this potion permanent,Copy !req
684. "the drinker must obtain his
true love's kiss by midnight."Copy !req
685. Midnight?
Why is it always midnight?Copy !req
686. - Pick me! I'll be your true love!
- I'll be your true love.Copy !req
687. I'll be true... enough.Copy !req
688. Look, ladies, I already have a true love.Copy !req
689. Oh...Copy !req
690. And take it from me, Boss.Copy !req
691. You are going to have
one satisfied Princess.Copy !req
692. And let's face it.
You are a lot easier on the eyes.Copy !req
693. Inside you're the same
old mean, salty...Copy !req
694. - Easy.
- ... cantankerous, foul,Copy !req
695. angry ogre you always been.Copy !req
696. And you're still the same
annoying donkey.Copy !req
697. Yeah.Copy !req
698. Well...Copy !req
699. Look out, Princess.
Here comes the new me.Copy !req
700. First things first.Copy !req
701. We need to get you out of those clothes.Copy !req
702. - Ready?
- Ready!Copy !req
703. Driver, stop!Copy !req
704. Oh, God! Help me, please!
My racing days are over!Copy !req
705. I'm blind! Tell the truth.Copy !req
706. Will I ever play the violin again?Copy !req
707. You poor creature!Copy !req
708. Is there anything
I can do for you?Copy !req
709. Well, I guess there is one thing.Copy !req
710. Take off the powdered wig
and step away from your drawers.Copy !req
711. - Not bad.
- Not bad at all.Copy !req
712. Father?
Is everything all right, Father?Copy !req
713. Thank you, gentlemen!
Someday, I will repay you.Copy !req
714. Unless, of course,
I can't find you or if I forget.Copy !req
715. Halt!Copy !req
716. Tell Princess Fiona her husband,
Sir Shrek, is here to see her.Copy !req
717. - Shrek?
- ♪ Ch-Ch-ChangesCopy !req
718. Fiona?Copy !req
719. Hello, handsome.Copy !req
720. Shrek!Copy !req
721. - Princess!
- Donkey?Copy !req
722. Wow! That potion
worked on you, too?Copy !req
723. What potion?Copy !req
724. Shrek and I took some magic potion.
And well...Copy !req
725. Now, we're sexy!Copy !req
726. Shrek?Copy !req
727. For you, baby... I could be.Copy !req
728. - Yeah, you wish.
- Donkey, where is Shrek?Copy !req
729. He went inside looking for you.Copy !req
730. Shrek?Copy !req
731. Fiona! Fiona!Copy !req
732. You want to dance, pretty boy?Copy !req
733. Are you going so soon?
Don't you want to see your wife?Copy !req
734. Fiona?Copy !req
735. Shrek?Copy !req
736. Aye, Fiona. It is me.Copy !req
737. What happened to your voice?Copy !req
738. The potion changed
a lot of things, Fiona.Copy !req
739. But not the way I feel about you.Copy !req
740. Fiona?Copy !req
741. - Charming?
- Do you think so?Copy !req
742. Dad. I was so hoping
you'd approve.Copy !req
743. - Um... Who are you?
- Mom, it's me, Shrek.Copy !req
744. I know you never get a second chance
at a first impression,Copy !req
745. but, well, what do you think?Copy !req
746. Fiona! Fiona!Copy !req
747. Fiona!Copy !req
748. - Fiona!
- Fiona, Fiona! Ho-ho-ho!Copy !req
749. Oh, shoot! I don't think they
can hear us, pigeon.Copy !req
750. Don't you think you've already
messed her life up enough?Copy !req
751. I just wanted her to be happy.Copy !req
752. And now she can be.Copy !req
753. Oh, sweetheart.Copy !req
754. She's finally found
the prince of her dreams.Copy !req
755. But look at me.
Look what I've done for her.Copy !req
756. It's time you stop living
in a fairy tale, Shrek.Copy !req
757. She's a princess,
and you're an ogre.Copy !req
758. That's something no amount
of potion will ever change.Copy !req
759. But...Copy !req
760. I love her.Copy !req
761. If you really love her...Copy !req
762. you'll let her go.Copy !req
763. Shrek?Copy !req
764. Senor.Copy !req
765. What's going on?
Where are you going?Copy !req
766. You wouldn't have had anything to do
with this, would you, Harold?Copy !req
767. There you go, boys.Copy !req
768. Just leave the bottle, Doris.Copy !req
769. Hey. Why the long face?Copy !req
770. It was all just a stupid mistake.Copy !req
771. I never should have rescued her
from that tower in the first place.Copy !req
772. I hate Mondays.Copy !req
773. I can't believe you'd walk away from
the best thing that happened to you.Copy !req
774. What choice do I have?Copy !req
775. She loves that pretty boy,
Prince Charming.Copy !req
776. Come on. Is he really
that good-looking?Copy !req
777. Are you kidding?
He's gorgeous!Copy !req
778. He has a face that looks like
it was carved by angels.Copy !req
779. - Oh. He sounds dreamy.
- You know...Copy !req
780. shockingly, this isn't
making me feel any better.Copy !req
781. Look, guys.
It's for the best.Copy !req
782. Mom and Dad approve,Copy !req
783. and Fiona gets the man
she's always dreamed of.Copy !req
784. Everybody wins.Copy !req
785. Except for you.Copy !req
786. I don't get it, Shrek.
You love Fiona.Copy !req
787. Aye.Copy !req
788. And that's why
I have to let her go.Copy !req
789. Excuse me, is she here?Copy !req
790. She's, uh... in the back.Copy !req
791. Oh, hello again.Copy !req
792. Fairy Godmother. Charming.Copy !req
793. You'd better have a good reason
for dragging us down here, Harold.Copy !req
794. Well, I'm afraid Fiona isn't really...
warming up to Prince Charming.Copy !req
795. - FYl, not my fault.
- No, of course it's not, dear.Copy !req
796. I mean,
how charming can I beCopy !req
797. when I have to pretend
I'm that dreadful ogre?Copy !req
798. No, no, it's nobody's fault.Copy !req
799. Perhaps it's best if we just
call the whole thing off, okay?Copy !req
800. - What?
- You can't force someone to fall in love!Copy !req
801. I beg to differ.
I do it all the time!Copy !req
802. Have Fiona drink this and she'll fall in love
with the first man she kisses,Copy !req
803. which will be Charming.Copy !req
804. - Umm... no.
- What did you say?Copy !req
805. I can't. I won't do it.Copy !req
806. Oh, yes, you will.Copy !req
807. If you remember, I helped you
with your happily ever after.Copy !req
808. And I can take it away
just as easily.Copy !req
809. Is that what you want? Is it?Copy !req
810. - No.
- Good boy.Copy !req
811. Now, we have to go.Copy !req
812. I need to do Charming's hair
before the ball.Copy !req
813. He's hopeless.
He's all high in the front.Copy !req
814. He can never get to the back.
You need someone to do the back.Copy !req
815. Oh. Thank you, Mother.Copy !req
816. Mother?Copy !req
817. Um... Mary! A talking horse!Copy !req
818. The ogre!Copy !req
819. Stop them! Thieves! Bandits!
Stop them!Copy !req
820. The abs are fab
and it's gluteus to the maximusCopy !req
821. here at tonight's Far, Far Away
Royal Ball blowout!Copy !req
822. The coaches are lined up
as the cream of the crop pours out of themCopy !req
823. like Miss Muffet's curds and whey.Copy !req
824. Everyone who's anyone
has turned outCopy !req
825. to honor Princess Fiona
and Prince Shrek.Copy !req
826. And, oh my,
the outfits look gorgeous!Copy !req
827. Look! Hansel and Gretel!Copy !req
828. What the heck are the crumbs for?Copy !req
829. And right behind them,
Tom Thumb and Thumbelina!Copy !req
830. Oh, aren't they adorable!Copy !req
831. Here comes Sleeping Beauty!Copy !req
832. Tired old thing.Copy !req
833. Who's this? Who's this?
Who is this?Copy !req
834. Oh. It's the one, it's the only...Copy !req
835. It's the Fairy Godmother!Copy !req
836. Hello, Far, Far Away!Copy !req
837. Can I get a whoop whoop?Copy !req
838. May all your endings be happy and...Copy !req
839. Well, you know the rest!Copy !req
840. We'll be right back with the Royal
Far, Far Away BallCopy !req
841. after these messages.Copy !req
842. I hate these ball shows.Copy !req
843. They bore me to tears.
Flip over to Wheel Of Torture!Copy !req
844. I'm not flipping anywhere, sir,
until I see Shrek and Fiona.Copy !req
845. Whizzes on you guys.Copy !req
846. Hey, mice, pass me a buffalo wing!Copy !req
847. No, to your left. Your left!Copy !req
848. - Tonight on "Knights"...
- Now here's a good show!Copy !req
849. We got a white bronco heading east
into the forest. Requesting backup.Copy !req
850. It's time to teach these madcap mammalsCopy !req
851. their "devil may mare" attitudes
just won't fly.Copy !req
852. Why you grabbing me?
Police brutality!Copy !req
853. I have to talk to Princess Fiona!Copy !req
854. - We warned you!
- Ow! Ow!Copy !req
855. Did someone let the cat out of the bag?Copy !req
856. You capitalist pig dogs!Copy !req
857. - Catnip!
- That's not mine.Copy !req
858. Find Princess Fiona!Copy !req
859. I'm a donkey!Copy !req
860. Tell her Shrek...
I'm her husband, Shrek!Copy !req
861. Quick! Rewind it!Copy !req
862. I'm her husband, Shrek! Ow!Copy !req
863. Darling?Copy !req
864. Ah. I thought I might
find you here.Copy !req
865. How about a nice hot cup
of tea before the ball?Copy !req
866. I'm not going.Copy !req
867. The whole Kingdom's turned out
to celebrate your marriage.Copy !req
868. There's just one problem.
That's not my husband.Copy !req
869. I mean, look at him.Copy !req
870. Yes, he is a bit different,Copy !req
871. but people change
for the ones they love.Copy !req
872. You'd be surprised how much
I changed for your mother.Copy !req
873. Change?Copy !req
874. He's completely lost his mind!Copy !req
875. Why not come down to the ball
and give him another chance?Copy !req
876. You might find you like
this new Shrek.Copy !req
877. But it's the old one
I fell in love with, Dad.Copy !req
878. I'd give anything to have him back.Copy !req
879. Darling. That's mine. Decaf.Copy !req
880. Otherwise I'm up all night.Copy !req
881. Thanks.Copy !req
882. I got to get out of here!Copy !req
883. You can't lock us up like this!
Let me go!Copy !req
884. What about my Miranda rights?Copy !req
885. You're supposed to say
I have the right to remain silent.Copy !req
886. Nobody said I have the right
to remain silent!Copy !req
887. You have the right to remain silent.Copy !req
888. What you lack is the capacity.Copy !req
889. I must hold on before I, too,
go totally mad.Copy !req
890. Shrek? Donkey?Copy !req
891. Too late.Copy !req
892. Gingy! Pinocchio!
Get us out of here!Copy !req
893. Oh...Copy !req
894. Fire in ze hole!Copy !req
895. Look out below!Copy !req
896. Quick! Tell a lie!Copy !req
897. - What should I say?
- Anything, but quick!Copy !req
898. Say something crazy like
"I'm wearing ladies' underwear!"Copy !req
899. I am wearing ladies' underwear.Copy !req
900. - Are you?
- I most certainly am not!Copy !req
901. It looks like you
most certainly am are!Copy !req
902. - I am not!
- What kind?Copy !req
903. - It's a thong!
- Oww! They're briefs!Copy !req
904. - Are not.
- Are too!Copy !req
905. - Are not!
- Are too!Copy !req
906. Here we go. Hang tight.Copy !req
907. Wait, wait, wait!
Ow! Ow! Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
908. Ow!Copy !req
909. - Excuse me?
- What? Puss!Copy !req
910. Pardon me, would you
mind letting me go?Copy !req
911. - Sorry, boss.
- Quit messing around!Copy !req
912. We've got to stop that kiss!Copy !req
913. I thought you was going
to let her go.Copy !req
914. I was, but I can't let them
do this to Fiona.Copy !req
915. Boom! That's what I like to hear.
Look who's coming around!Copy !req
916. It's impossible!
We'll never get in.Copy !req
917. The castle's guarded.
There's a moat and everything!Copy !req
918. Folks, it looks like we're up chocolate
creek without a Popsicle stick.Copy !req
919. - What?
- Do you still know the Muffin Man?Copy !req
920. Well, sure!
He's down on Drury Lane. Why?Copy !req
921. Because we're gonna need flour.Copy !req
922. Lots and lots of flour.Copy !req
923. Gingy!Copy !req
924. Fire up the ovens, Muffin Man!
We've got a big order to fill!Copy !req
925. It's alive!Copy !req
926. Run, run, run,
as fast you can!Copy !req
927. Go, baby, go!Copy !req
928. There it is, Mongo!
To the castle!Copy !req
929. No, you great stupid pastry!
Come on!Copy !req
930. Mongo! Down here!
Look at the pony!Copy !req
931. That's right! Follow the pretty pony!Copy !req
932. Pretty pony wants to play
at the castle!Copy !req
933. Pretty pony.Copy !req
934. Ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
935. Presenting Princess Fiona
and her new husband, Prince Shrek.Copy !req
936. Shrek, what are you doing?Copy !req
937. I'm just playing the part, Fiona.Copy !req
938. Is that glitter on your lips?Copy !req
939. Mm. Cherry flavored.
Want to taste?Copy !req
940. - Ugh! What is with you?
- But, Muffin Cake...Copy !req
941. C Minor, put it in C Minor.Copy !req
942. Ladies and gentlemen.Copy !req
943. I'd like to dedicate this song to...Copy !req
944. Princess Fiona and Prince Shrek.Copy !req
945. Fiona, my Princess.Copy !req
946. Will you honor me with a dance?Copy !req
947. Dance!Copy !req
948. Since when do you dance?Copy !req
949. Fiona, my dearest,
if there's one thing I know,Copy !req
950. it's that love is full of surprises.Copy !req
951. Hit it!Copy !req
952. All right, big fella!
Let's crash this party!Copy !req
953. Man the catapults!Copy !req
954. Aim! Fire!Copy !req
955. - Brace yourselves!
- Ooh! Purty!Copy !req
956. Not the gumdrop button!Copy !req
957. Incoming!Copy !req
958. Ha-ha! All right!Copy !req
959. Go, Mongo! Go!Copy !req
960. Man the cauldrons!Copy !req
961. After you, Mongo.Copy !req
962. - That's it! Heave-ho!
- Watch out!Copy !req
963. Shrek!Copy !req
964. More heat, less foam!Copy !req
965. Heave! Ho!Copy !req
966. No...!Copy !req
967. Come on!Copy !req
968. Look out!Copy !req
969. Be good.Copy !req
970. He needs me!
Let me go!Copy !req
971. Donkey!Copy !req
972. Puss!Copy !req
973. Go! Go! Your lady needs you! Go!Copy !req
974. Today, I repay my debt.Copy !req
975. On guard!Copy !req
976. - Hey, you! Back away from my wife.
- Shrek?Copy !req
977. You couldn't just go back to your swamp
and leave well enough alone.Copy !req
978. - Now!
- Pigs und blanket!Copy !req
979. Pinocchio! Get the wand!Copy !req
980. I see London! I see France!Copy !req
981. Whah!Copy !req
982. I'm a real boy!Copy !req
983. Ah! Ah! Aaahhh!Copy !req
984. Catch!Copy !req
985. Donkey!Copy !req
986. Oh!Copy !req
987. I'm a real boy. Aah!Copy !req
988. Oh!Copy !req
989. - Ha!
- Ah.Copy !req
990. That's mine!Copy !req
991. Pray for mercy, from Puss...Copy !req
992. And Donkey!Copy !req
993. She's taken the potion!
Kiss her now!Copy !req
994. No!Copy !req
995. Hi-ya!Copy !req
996. - Fiona.
- Shrek.Copy !req
997. Harold! You were supposed
to give her the potion!Copy !req
998. Well, I guess I gave her
the wrong tea.Copy !req
999. - Mommy!
- Mommy?Copy !req
1000. I told you.Copy !req
1001. Ogres don't live happily ever after.Copy !req
1002. Woo!Copy !req
1003. Ha!Copy !req
1004. Oh, Dad!Copy !req
1005. - Is he...?
- Yup.Copy !req
1006. He croaked.Copy !req
1007. Harold?Copy !req
1008. Dad?Copy !req
1009. I'd hoped you'd never
see me like this.Copy !req
1010. - And he gave you a hard time!
- Donkey!Copy !req
1011. No, no, he's right.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
1012. To both of you.Copy !req
1013. I only wanted what
was best for Fiona.Copy !req
1014. But I can see now...Copy !req
1015. she already has it.Copy !req
1016. Shrek, Fiona...Copy !req
1017. Will you accept
an old frog's apologies...Copy !req
1018. and my blessing?Copy !req
1019. Harold?
I'm sorry, Lillian.Copy !req
1020. I just wish I could be
the man you deserve.Copy !req
1021. You're more that man today
than you ever were...Copy !req
1022. warts and all.Copy !req
1023. Boss! The Happily Ever After Potion!Copy !req
1024. Midnight!Copy !req
1025. Fiona. Is this what you want?Copy !req
1026. To be this way forever?Copy !req
1027. - What?
- Because if you kiss me now...Copy !req
1028. we can stay like this.Copy !req
1029. You'd do that?Copy !req
1030. - For me?
- Yes.Copy !req
1031. I want what any princess wants.Copy !req
1032. To live happily ever after...Copy !req
1033. with the ogre I married.Copy !req
1034. Whatever happens,
I must not cry!Copy !req
1035. You cannot make me cry!Copy !req
1036. Whoa!Copy !req
1037. No. No, no.
Aaah! Ow.Copy !req
1038. Oh, no.Copy !req
1039. Hey. You still look like
a noble steed to me.Copy !req
1040. Now, where were we?Copy !req
1041. Oh. I remember.Copy !req
1042. Hey! Isn't we supposed
to be having a fiesta?Copy !req
1043. Uno, dos, quatro, hit it!Copy !req
1044. Puss and Donkey, y'all...Copy !req
1045. - Sing it, Puss!
- ♪ I feel a premonitionCopy !req
1046. Here we go!Copy !req
1047. Hey gorgeous!Copy !req
1048. - Say it one more time now!
- ♪ Living the vida locaCopy !req
1049. Hey, Donkey, that's Spanish!Copy !req
1050. Amigo, we are off
to the Kit-Kat Club.Copy !req
1051. Come on, join us.Copy !req
1052. Thanks, compadre.
I'm... I'm not in the mood.Copy !req
1053. We will cheer you up!
Find you a nice burro!Copy !req
1054. Hey, baby!Copy !req
1055. Hey, that's my girl!
Yeah! All right!Copy !req
1056. Baby, where you been?Copy !req
1057. I'm sorry, too.Copy !req
1058. I should've stayed.
But Shrek had this thing he had to do.Copy !req
1059. What? Say it one more time.Copy !req
1060. What you talking about?
Are you serious?Copy !req
1061. Papa!Copy !req
1062. Look at our little mutant babies!Copy !req
1063. I got to get a job.Copy !req