1. There she is!Copy !req
2. Gloria!Copy !req
3. Hi.Copy !req
4. Welcome!Copy !req
5. - You look great.
- Thank you!Copy !req
6. - Darcy, where have you been?
- Hey! Hi!Copy !req
7. I was just taking a minute.
Is that allowed?Copy !req
8. Not at your wedding.Copy !req
9. - Your Ketel One martini.
- Oh.Copy !req
10. Obrigada, Jerome.Copy !req
11. Where is the groomzilla?Copy !req
12. Tom is not a groomzilla, okay?Copy !req
13. He just committed to making
every detail perfect.Copy !req
14. You should have taken
your father's moneyCopy !req
15. for this wedding.Copy !req
16. Then, professionals would make
everything perfecto for you.Copy !req
17. Mom, I've told you.
We are adultsCopy !req
18. and we wanted to pay
for our own weddingCopy !req
19. so it could be what we wanted.Copy !req
20. And this is what you wanted?Copy !req
21. That was a printing error.Copy !req
22. - Hoy!Copy !req
23. Oh! Oh!Copy !req
24. Oh! Hey!Copy !req
25. Oh, I almost shoot you!Copy !req
26. I thought you're a pirate
but you're just a guy.Copy !req
27. Ah, this is
for your bride, huh?Copy !req
28. Yeah,
trying to surprise her.Copy !req
29. I saw something
just like it on Etsy,Copy !req
30. and it looked perfect,
but now I'm not so sure.Copy !req
31. Now, I wanna be romantic
but not too corny.Copy !req
32. There's a really fine line
between the two.Copy !req
33. Aren't you supposed to be
over there?Copy !req
34. Your rehearsal party.Copy !req
35. Oh, my God!Copy !req
36. I need you to talk
to your father's yoga teacher.Copy !req
37. - Girlfriend?
- Yeah, whatever.Copy !req
38. She keeps smiling at me.Copy !req
39. Can you tell her
to stop smiling at me?Copy !req
40. Yes, Mom.Copy !req
41. I will tell Dad's girlfriend
to stop smiling at you.Copy !req
42. That won't cause any issues.Copy !req
43. Also, I cannot sit at a table
with Tom's mother.Copy !req
44. On the boat here,Copy !req
45. she tried to start
a sing-along to South Pacific.Copy !req
46. She's excited. Okay?Copy !req
47. She's never been out
of the country before.Copy !req
48. What kind of a grown woman
has never left the country?Copy !req
49. Please, Mom, for two days,
can you just get along with...Copy !req
50. Carol!Copy !req
51. I've been looking forward
to this momentCopy !req
52. ever since baby Tommy
was cut out of my abdomen.Copy !req
53. - Oh, my God,Copy !req
54. I have never been
on a private island before.Copy !req
55. I've never been
even on an island before.Copy !req
56. Actually, you know what?
That's not true.Copy !req
57. I went with the Heibermans.
We went to Mackinac, you know,Copy !req
58. before they moved
to Bloomington.Copy !req
59. Have you ever been
to Mackinac, Renata?Copy !req
60. I don't know what that isCopy !req
61. or most of the words
you just said.Copy !req
62. Wouldn't
she just love it, Larry?Copy !req
63. Oh. Hi, Darcy.Copy !req
64. Hey, Larry.Copy !req
65. I didn't see you there.Copy !req
66. - Hi.
Hi, Renata.Copy !req
67. Guess what?
We got you a gift.Copy !req
68. - Oh, you didn't have to.
Yes, we did.Copy !req
69. It's the biggest day
of our lives tomorrow.Copy !req
70. What are you talking about?Copy !req
71. - Come on, open it.
- Okay.Copy !req
72. - Larry, she's opening.
- I get... Oh.Copy !req
73. Ah-uh-huh.Copy !req
74. Oh. Someone just left that
in the bathroom.Copy !req
75. Oh, you're a lifesaver,
Margy.Copy !req
76. I cannot believe
I'm late for this.Copy !req
77. The guests are already mingling,Copy !req
78. and your Darcy is talking
to both the mothers.Copy !req
79. Oh, no. Go.
Go, go, go, go, go, go.Copy !req
80. Oh!Copy !req
81. You got my daughter
rusty knives?Copy !req
82. It's your
"something borrowed."Copy !req
83. Everyone in our family uses them
on their wedding day.Copy !req
84. Brings you a lifetime
of good luck.Copy !req
85. Except for Uncle GregCopy !req
86. who ended up getting
decapitated on that forklift.Copy !req
87. But that's not
the knife's fault.Copy !req
88. Darcy!Copy !req
89. Dad!Copy !req
90. - Gracias.
Mm.Copy !req
91. - Carol, you look lovely.Copy !req
92. Mm. Mm.Copy !req
93. Larry, hello, sir.Copy !req
94. Hey!
- I'm gonna kiss you too.Copy !req
95. - Oh.
- Mm.Copy !req
96. - Sorry. Done?
- Yeah, okay.Copy !req
97. Renata.Copy !req
98. Roberto.Copy !req
99. I love that you two
are still friends.Copy !req
100. - Peekaboo!
- Oh.Copy !req
101. Hi!Copy !req
102. Mwah. Mwah.Copy !req
103. Mm!Copy !req
104. Oh, Darcy, I am so honored
to bear witnessCopy !req
105. to this sacred observance
of rebirth and devotion.Copy !req
106. - Same.
- Thank you.Copy !req
107. Renata.Copy !req
108. I need to go
to the ladies' room.Copy !req
109. Hey, me too.Copy !req
110. When I'm in formal wear,Copy !req
111. I like to pee standing up.
How about you?Copy !req
112. - Sorry.
- That's okay.Copy !req
113. Thank you, Margy.Copy !req
114. Oh, hey.Copy !req
115. - Hey.
How are you?Copy !req
116. - Oh.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
117. - That's for you.
- Thanks.Copy !req
118. Big papi.Copy !req
119. - My man. Mwah.Copy !req
120. - This... I just...
- Nice to see you, Dad.Copy !req
121. - Senor.
- Let's just, uh, stickCopy !req
122. - with "Robert" for a little while.Copy !req
123. - Right. Robert.
Tom, I heardCopy !req
124. you were the one who found
this incredible resort.Copy !req
125. - Yeah. I did.
- Yes.Copy !req
126. I actually study bioresonance,
and this place isCopy !req
127. teeming with
energetic vibrations.Copy !req
128. Mm.
It's just likeCopy !req
129. - our room teeming with bugs.Copy !req
130. The, uh, Four Seasons
would've been nice,Copy !req
131. but you didn't want
my help, so...Copy !req
132. Some things are more importantCopy !req
133. - than money, Dad.
- Yeah.Copy !req
134. That's debatable.Copy !req
135. Well, I need another drink.Copy !req
136. - Yeah.Copy !req
137. No, I'm good. Gracias.Copy !req
138. Okay, well...Copy !req
139. I'm fine.Copy !req
140. Is he ever gonna like me?Copy !req
141. Yes, if you just chill outCopy !req
142. and start acting like yourself.Copy !req
143. God,
our families are a lot.Copy !req
144. - What do you mean?
- And where have you been?Copy !req
145. I was just finishing up
a little project.Copy !req
146. What'd I miss?Copy !req
147. Oh, well, your mom
gave me cursed knives.Copy !req
148. And then my mom almost yelledCopy !req
149. at my dad's girlfriend
for smiling.Copy !req
150. - Oh.
- Oh, also,Copy !req
151. your cousin, Amy, asked where
she could charge her vibrator.Copy !req
152. Oh, so, Cousin Amy came?Copy !req
153. She will soon.Copy !req
154. - Um, what are you wearing?Copy !req
155. Oh, it's, uh...Copy !req
156. Why is your hair all wet?Copy !req
157. Oh, I... I just... I...Copy !req
158. You know, I went for
a little moonlight swim.Copy !req
159. You fell in the water,
didn't you?Copy !req
160. Yeah, I fell in the water.Copy !req
161. You know, it's kinda cute
how bad you are at lying.Copy !req
162. Just... Just promise me...Copy !req
163. Promise me,
you won't let go of my handCopy !req
164. for the rest of the night, okay?Copy !req
165. I promise.Copy !req
166. Ace.Copy !req
167. Ace just put on the honeymoon
playlist. I need to change it.Copy !req
168. Well, is "need" the right word?Copy !req
169. - Dad, please.
Oh, yeah.Copy !req
170. Tommy, Tommy, I need you
for, like, five minutes.Copy !req
171. - What? No, no, no, no.
- It's an emergency.Copy !req
172. I've been working on
my best-man speech, right,Copy !req
173. and it is going really well.Copy !req
174. - Hi.
- Hey.Copy !req
175. Dad's girlfriend just asked me
what my love language is.Copy !req
176. She sucks.Copy !req
177. Happiest I've seen you
in 20 years.Copy !req
178. - Thanks.
- Cheers.Copy !req
179. Dad invited your ex?Copy !req
180. God! How does he just
keep getting hotter?Copy !req
181. Looks like he's leading
a porn safari.Copy !req
182. I didn't wanna invite him,Copy !req
183. but Dad insisted because
he said Bali was so close.Copy !req
184. Wow. Wow, wow, wow. Wow, wow.Copy !req
185. Dad is a messy bitch
who loves the drama.Copy !req
186. Well, he never RSVP'd,Copy !req
187. so we thought
we were in the clear.Copy !req
188. I didn't think
he'd actually come.Copy !req
189. You know, he never RSVP'd.Copy !req
190. No, that's a very,
very cool move.Copy !req
191. I'm really excited to meet him.Copy !req
192. Oops, looks like
he was in a rushCopy !req
193. and forgot to button
his shirt all the way up.Copy !req
194. Deedee.Copy !req
195. - Hey, man, how are you?
- Hey.Copy !req
196. Hi, Sean!Copy !req
197. I am so sorry that I'm late.Copy !req
198. Your dad needed me to go
to Japan at the last minute,Copy !req
199. and then, you know, I had
to charter a jet from Kyoto,Copy !req
200. - just like a whole thing.
- No, it's okay. We just...Copy !req
201. You know, we didn't know
you were coming.Copy !req
202. Your dad and I
wanted to surprise you.Copy !req
203. Look, babe, you know I wasn't
gonna miss your weddingCopy !req
204. for anything in this world,
right?Copy !req
205. - Sean, I want you to meet Tom.
- Tom.Copy !req
206. - Oh, hey!
- Tom!Copy !req
207. - Tom, Tom, Tom.
- Sean. Yeah.Copy !req
208. - Nice to meet you.
- Hey, Tom.Copy !req
209. Man, I have been dying to meet
Deedee's ball player, man.Copy !req
210. What position you play?Copy !req
211. - I'm a... Well, I...
- He's a designated hitter.Copy !req
212. Uh, unfortunately,Copy !req
213. they didn't pick up
his contract,Copy !req
214. so, technically,
he's unemployed, but...Copy !req
215. Cut from the minors at 40.Copy !req
216. That's a tough break, Tom.Copy !req
217. But if you stay positive,Copy !req
218. you could have a really
great future in coaching.Copy !req
219. You know what I mean?Copy !req
220. Yeah.Copy !req
221. That is an excellent idea.Copy !req
222. - I think so.
- Thank you.Copy !req
223. Yeah.Copy !req
224. Is it time for dinner?Copy !req
225. We are so very touchedCopy !req
226. that you all made
the trek out here.Copy !req
227. You know, we really
wanted to pick a placeCopy !req
228. that was convenient
for none of you.Copy !req
229. You know what, I talk
too much at the law firm.Copy !req
230. So I am going to hand it overCopy !req
231. to the man of the hour,Copy !req
232. the guy who made this
whole weekend happen,Copy !req
233. my lovely Tom.Copy !req
234. Thank you.Copy !req
235. Do it!
You go, girl!Copy !req
236. Uh...Copy !req
237. Yeah!
- You got this.Copy !req
238. - Right?Copy !req
239. I can just wing this, right?Copy !req
240. Darcy talked a lot about, uh,Copy !req
241. her time
in the Peace Corps in Bali,Copy !req
242. and I thought, you know,Copy !req
243. how cool would it be
if we got married there.Copy !req
244. And then, I realized thatCopy !req
245. Bali was
un-Bali-vably expensive.Copy !req
246. I think the Philippines
are better.Copy !req
247. - Right, Ace?Copy !req
248. Ace agrees. Next.Copy !req
249. Aw!Copy !req
250. I know a lot of you were there
to witness my proposal.Copy !req
251. The shock and surprise.
Priceless.Copy !req
252. Anyway, Mom and Dad,
I just wanna say thank you.Copy !req
253. Your commitment is something
that we can only aspire to.Copy !req
254. - Oh, my God.
Robert, Renata,Copy !req
255. we hope our marriage is
nothing like yours.Copy !req
256. Pivot, baby. Pivot.Copy !req
257. I mean, that's not a... a...Copy !req
258. a character judgment,
by any means.Copy !req
259. I mean, 50% of marriages
end in divorce, right?Copy !req
260. - Ha! Wonderful.Copy !req
261. Cheers, everybody.Copy !req
262. - Cheers, cheers, cheers.
- Cheers.Copy !req
263. Oh, my God.
That did not go well.Copy !req
264. No, that was awesome.Copy !req
265. So Deedee and I met
in the Peace Corps in Bali.Copy !req
266. And one day, we had to runCopy !req
267. these medical supplies
to this village.Copy !req
268. I decided to teach her
how to drive the boat,Copy !req
269. so I could sleep
and she could do all the work.Copy !req
270. The first time our girl
gets behind the wheel,Copy !req
271. she gets a damn speeding ticket
from the coast guard.Copy !req
272. Right? Deedee doesn't
do anything half-assed.Copy !req
273. She sees what she wants,Copy !req
274. she goes after it,Copy !req
275. and she doesn't settle for less.Copy !req
276. It's true, it's true.Copy !req
277. So, as some of you
may know,Copy !req
278. Deedee and I were,
100 years ago, were engaged.Copy !req
279. But she called it off.Copy !req
280. No. No, no, no, no.Copy !req
281. She was waiting for Tom.Copy !req
282. And that guy right thereCopy !req
283. has gotta be
a one-in-a-million supernovaCopy !req
284. to snag that beautiful soul.Copy !req
285. - Thanks.Copy !req
286. - Thanks, Sean.
- So, in conclusion,Copy !req
287. I just wanna say one thing
to you, Deedee.Copy !req
288. Katuk kak ci.Copy !req
289. What's... Katuk kak what?Copy !req
290. Oh, God.
Um, it's hard to explain.Copy !req
291. It actually means, um,Copy !req
292. "Fuck your grandpa."
It's just...Copy !req
293. Well, that's not
that hard to explain.Copy !req
294. Yeah, well, I don't know.Copy !req
295. Just, in Balinese,
it's super offensive.Copy !req
296. Yeah, well, it's offensive
everywhere, no?Copy !req
297. - Yeah. I mean... It just...
- "Fuck your grandpa!"Copy !req
298. - It just made us laugh.
- It is funny.Copy !req
299. Hi, everybody.Copy !req
300. I'm Tom's baby sister, Jeannie.Copy !req
301. - Yeah, Jeannie!
- Hey, Jeannie!Copy !req
302. Wow, Sean's speech,
wasn't it somethin'?Copy !req
303. Honey?Copy !req
304. Maybe we should just,
you know, call it a night.Copy !req
305. No, babe, you go ahead.Copy !req
306. I gotta finish
these centerpiecesCopy !req
307. and rearrange the seating chartCopy !req
308. now that Sean decided
to show up.Copy !req
309. - Tom!Copy !req
310. Tom!Copy !req
311. Let's have sex.Copy !req
312. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
313. Just... Just... Just...
Just gimme... Just...Copy !req
314. I just have to finish
these pineapples real quick.Copy !req
315. Okay. Um...Copy !req
316. But do you really have to finishCopy !req
317. pineapples right now?Copy !req
318. Oh, my God. I love you
in a T-shirt and no pants.Copy !req
319. I'm just gonna reach over here,Copy !req
320. this high shelf, so I can get
something to read.Copy !req
321. Why is it so sexy when
you can't reach high shelves?Copy !req
322. - So, um...Copy !req
323. I'm sorry, miss, but it was...Copy !req
324. - It's this one here?
- No, no, no.Copy !req
325. It's the one over there.Copy !req
326. - Sir, please.
- Oh, this one.Copy !req
327. - This one.
- Yes.Copy !req
328. - That?
- Thank you, sir.Copy !req
329. Okay. Glad I could help.Copy !req
330. I miss you.Copy !req
331. It's been a while, huh?Copy !req
332. I know.Copy !req
333. I miss you.Copy !req
334. Could I ask you a question?Copy !req
335. Is it a sexy question?Copy !req
336. Um...Copy !req
337. Just wondering
why you called offCopy !req
338. the engagement with Sean again.Copy !req
339. That is so not sexy.Copy !req
340. I... I told you this.Copy !req
341. We were young, we were in Bali,Copy !req
342. and then one day, I woke up
and it just didn't feel right.Copy !req
343. - Okay?
- Okay.Copy !req
344. But you said yes.Copy !req
345. You know,
what changed your mind?Copy !req
346. I don't know.Copy !req
347. Uh, he... he started
working with my dad,Copy !req
348. he changed,
and all he cared aboutCopy !req
349. was status and money.Copy !req
350. Anyway, why do you
want to talk about my exCopy !req
351. the night before our wedding?Copy !req
352. I don't know.Copy !req
353. Maybe because you
invited him to our wedding?Copy !req
354. Remember, I didn't.Copy !req
355. My dad asked me to invite him.
What was I supposed to say?Copy !req
356. I don't know. Uh, no?Copy !req
357. If you remember correctly,Copy !req
358. I didn't wanna invite anyone.Copy !req
359. - I wanted to elope.Copy !req
360. The only reason I agreed
to a traditional weddingCopy !req
361. was because you said that
we'd have moments alone.Copy !req
362. Hey, hello. It's Carol.Copy !req
363. Hi. Hello.Copy !req
364. Your future mother-in-law,
Carol.Copy !req
365. Yep,
I know your name, Carol.Copy !req
366. I brought some of the extras
for the welcome bagsCopy !req
367. in case you want
to make one for Sean.Copy !req
368. Oh! Oh.Copy !req
369. Great. Thanks.Copy !req
370. All right, thanks.Copy !req
371. Tommy, she's not
wearing any pants.Copy !req
372. - I just want to ask,Copy !req
373. and... and I hope it's okay.Copy !req
374. Is that genetics,Copy !req
375. or is it, like,
Pilates or something?Copy !req
376. Mom, now is not
the time for this.Copy !req
377. Yes, all right.
But, you know,Copy !req
378. we need to get you outta here.Copy !req
379. It's the night
before your wedding,Copy !req
380. and you can't spend
the night together.Copy !req
381. - No, Ma, it's just...
- You can't. It's bad luck.Copy !req
382. You know, his cousin, Jenna,Copy !req
383. she spent the night
with her husband.Copy !req
384. Lo and behold,
she got Lyme disease,Copy !req
385. and now she can't wear sandals.Copy !req
386. It's a tradition.Copy !req
387. Oh.
Look at the happy couple.Copy !req
388. Where have you been?Copy !req
389. You were supposed to do my hair.Copy !req
390. Now birds are gonna
lay eggs in it.Copy !req
391. I know. I overslept.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
392. Kind of, sort of,
slept with Ricky last night.Copy !req
393. - Ricky?
- Yes. I'm sorry.Copy !req
394. I just, I was in the mood
for something,Copy !req
395. you know,
that wasn't quite right.Copy !req
396. Like ordering a hamburger
at a sushi bar or something.Copy !req
397. I'm just gonna
avoid him today. It's fine.Copy !req
398. He's Tom's best man.Copy !req
399. You two have to walk down
the aisle together.Copy !req
400. I am very good
at ignoring peopleCopy !req
401. that I'm standing next to.Copy !req
402. - No kidding.
- Ready?Copy !req
403. I can't believe you agreed
to wear Carol's wedding dress.Copy !req
404. - Okay.Copy !req
405. - Okay, okay.Copy !req
406. You look beautiful,
no matter what.Copy !req
407. She's ready!Copy !req
408. Hey, should we all doCopy !req
409. - a round of tequila shots?Copy !req
410. Well,
I Scotchgarded the dress,Copy !req
411. so try not to inhale
the chemicals.Copy !req
412. Where's the veil?
Where's the veil?Copy !req
413. Okay.Copy !req
414. Well, yes, tequila.Copy !req
415. Unless we get
the bottle, I'm not set.Copy !req
416. No, no tequila.Copy !req
417. Oh!Copy !req
418. The prettiest of them all.Copy !req
419. You look so much better
than the rest of us.Copy !req
420. This dress is just wonderful.Copy !req
421. I wore it for my wedding,Copy !req
422. Jeannie wore it for hers,Copy !req
423. and now you're gonna
wear it for yours.Copy !req
424. Oh, my gosh.Copy !req
425. Look at you.Copy !req
426. Oh, it's white coral
made out of tissue.Copy !req
427. Um...Copy !req
428. Something doesn't,
you know, feel right.Copy !req
429. Do you think
if we blew-dried the veil,Copy !req
430. - it would be more fluffy?
- Okay, so what I'm seeing is,Copy !req
431. I think that the left boob
is actually slightlyCopy !req
432. - lower than the right boob.
- Like floof, floof, like that?Copy !req
433. Hey, something kinda magical
happened with me last night.Copy !req
434. - Theoretically speaking...Copy !req
435. would it be weird
or wonderfulCopy !req
436. - if we married sisters?Copy !req
437. Yeah, sure.Copy !req
438. Hey, psst, Larry.
Tom's being boring.Copy !req
439. Come film me doing a backflip!Copy !req
440. Oh, I...
I don't think I should walk.Copy !req
441. All right.Copy !req
442. It's time.Copy !req
443. Wow!Copy !req
444. Look at you.Copy !req
445. Okay.Copy !req
446. You wanted to talk.Copy !req
447. I know it's last minute.Copy !req
448. I just...Copy !req
449. I hated the way things ended
last night, and...Copy !req
450. And I didn't want
our wedding dayCopy !req
451. to start off on a bad note.Copy !req
452. Oh, my God.Copy !req
453. God, I thought
you were calling it off.Copy !req
454. Calling off the wedding?Copy !req
455. - Why?
- Uh, I don't know.Copy !req
456. I mean, this weekend
hasn't exactly gone to plan.Copy !req
457. You and I have been arguing moreCopy !req
458. in the last few months
than we didCopy !req
459. our first four years together.Copy !req
460. I don't know.
I guess I thoughtCopy !req
461. weddings were supposed
to be fun.Copy !req
462. Oh. Okay.Copy !req
463. Well, I'm sorry I didn't make
your wedding more fun for you.Copy !req
464. Well, no. That's...
Darcy, that's not what...Copy !req
465. And it's not my wedding.
It's our wedding.Copy !req
466. Hardly.Copy !req
467. Yeah, Tom.Copy !req
468. You got so fixated
on the wedding that you...Copy !req
469. you turned into
a different person.Copy !req
470. I'm sorry. I just wanted
everything to be perfect.Copy !req
471. Why is that so important to you?Copy !req
472. Why isn't it important to you?Copy !req
473. It's like you don't even care
about the wedding.Copy !req
474. Well, I... Of course I care.Copy !req
475. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
476. You're the one that insisted
that we pay for this wedding.Copy !req
477. Yet I'm the one
that's bargainingCopy !req
478. with all the vendors
and DIY-ing everything,Copy !req
479. and all you're saying is,
"I don't know. It looks good,"Copy !req
480. you know, "Sounds good, Tom.
Whatever you want."Copy !req
481. I told you that I did not want
a big traditional wedding.Copy !req
482. Okay? I'm not some
blushing bride.Copy !req
483. I'm a grown woman.Copy !req
484. I don't want my daddy
walking me down the aisle.Copy !req
485. I don't need
a big princess dress,Copy !req
486. and I certainly don't need
a wedding registry.Copy !req
487. I have my things already.
I like my things.Copy !req
488. I wanted a Roomba.Copy !req
489. Well, she's not up in the lobby.Copy !req
490. I can't get through on my phone.Copy !req
491. Oh, my God.
They've fallen in a ditch.Copy !req
492. What? And how do you
know that?Copy !req
493. I don't know.Copy !req
494. I just have a sixth sense
about these things.Copy !req
495. Ace and I
will take a look around.Copy !req
496. Don't worry.
We will find them.Copy !req
497. - Check all ditches!
God.Copy !req
498. I wanted it
to just be you and meCopy !req
499. in the middle of the ocean.Copy !req
500. And for the 400th time,Copy !req
501. that would've killed my mother.Copy !req
502. Ugh. Right.Copy !req
503. And that's why
I'm in your mother's dressCopy !req
504. with an extra ten pounds
of hair on my head.Copy !req
505. But the truth is,
you have not listenedCopy !req
506. to one thing I wanted
since you proposed.Copy !req
507. Okay, well, Darcy,
I'm listening.Copy !req
508. Enlighten me.Copy !req
509. What is it?
What is it that you want?Copy !req
510. Tom, we've...Copy !req
511. We talked about this.Copy !req
512. I told you
on our very first date,Copy !req
513. I didn't want a big wedding.Copy !req
514. Well, I thought you changedCopy !req
515. - your mind about that.Copy !req
516. Why did you even
agree to do it then?Copy !req
517. Oh, I... I don't...
I don't know!Copy !req
518. Okay? Because...Copy !req
519. Because I love you.
Because I... I w...Copy !req
520. I wanted you to be happy.Copy !req
521. Go!
Come on, move!Copy !req
522. Everybody, move! Come on!Copy !req
523. - Move along.Copy !req
524. Go outside, go outside
right now. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
525. If you don't wanna
go through with this,Copy !req
526. it's not too late.Copy !req
527. What?Copy !req
528. No. We brought
everybody that we lovedCopy !req
529. down to the Philippines
for our wedding.Copy !req
530. I'm in this dress!
We're doin' this!Copy !req
531. Oh, that was beautiful.
Are those your vows?Copy !req
532. Oh, my God.Copy !req
533. You convinced yourselfCopy !req
534. that I wanted
to call off the wedding,Copy !req
535. and now you're making it happen.Copy !req
536. Oh, there you go.
Lawyering yourselfCopy !req
537. out of any real responsibility.Copy !req
538. You cut me with your ring!Copy !req
539. - Won't happen again.Copy !req
540. Great!Copy !req
541. Why don't you go be with Sean?Copy !req
542. Maybe you guys could
go bang some grandpas!Copy !req
543. I don't know why. I have
a bad feeling about this.Copy !req
544. It's gonna
be fine, honey.Copy !req
545. I think you might
be overreacting.Copy !req
546. Hold still!
Get down, get down, get down!Copy !req
547. No running!Copy !req
548. Everyone!
Get down.Copy !req
549. To the pool! Now!Copy !req
550. First rows, go!Copy !req
551. - Go, go, go!Copy !req
552. Everyone,
this way! This way!Copy !req
553. Come on! Come on!
One line! Let's go!Copy !req
554. Let's go!Copy !req
555. Darcy.Copy !req
556. Guys, go!
Go, go, up there.Copy !req
557. Up there!
Up there! Go! Go to the end.Copy !req
558. - Go, go!
- Everybody, walk!Copy !req
559. Keep going.
Let's go.Copy !req
560. Go!Copy !req
561. Keep moving!
There you go.Copy !req
562. Turn. Turn. Go!Copy !req
563. Line up.
Keep moving.Copy !req
564. Line up, go!Copy !req
565. Now!
No.Copy !req
566. And into the pool.Copy !req
567. Now. Go!Copy !req
568. Go in. Faster, faster, faster.Copy !req
569. Get in the water.Copy !req
570. Let's go faster.Copy !req
571. Oi, drop the phone.
- But my phone will get ruined.Copy !req
572. I think that's the point,
sweetie. Just drop it.Copy !req
573. Yeah, but I haven't
backed it up in a while.Copy !req
574. Drop it!
- Okay. Okay.Copy !req
575. No need to be scared.Copy !req
576. As long as everybody
follows directions,Copy !req
577. no one gets hurt.Copy !req
578. Raise your hand
when you hear your name.Copy !req
579. Robert Rivera.Copy !req
580. Robert! Robert.Copy !req
581. They're calling you.Copy !req
582. Thanks a lot, Carol.Copy !req
583. Larry Fowler.
- Present.Copy !req
584. I... I'm Carol, his wife.Copy !req
585. Just so you don't
have to make two trips.Copy !req
586. Wait, wait.
I'd like it in the center.Copy !req
587. Sean Hawkins.Copy !req
588. If you hurt anyone in this pool,Copy !req
589. you're gonna have
to answer to me.Copy !req
590. Is this the hero of the group?Copy !req
591. Yes.Copy !req
592. No. Oh, my God.Copy !req
593. There is always one.Copy !req
594. All right.Copy !req
595. Where is bride and groom?Copy !req
596. She's there.
Isn't she the bride?Copy !req
597. Oh. No.Copy !req
598. Amanda thought
it was appropriateCopy !req
599. to wear white to a wedding.Copy !req
600. I didn't know that was a rule.Copy !req
601. Yes, you did.Copy !req
602. - You're a gaslighter.
Yeah.Copy !req
603. You see, this is a problem.Copy !req
604. They could call police.
And if police come,Copy !req
605. we kill everyone.Copy !req
606. Oh, my God.Copy !req
607. Okay, um, I... I saw Tom
headed towardsCopy !req
608. the nature walk
before the ceremony,Copy !req
609. and I noticed that
his frequency levelsCopy !req
610. were dangerously low.Copy !req
611. I think he's getting cold feet.Copy !req
612. Tommy has cold feet?Copy !req
613. Is this really what we should beCopy !req
614. worrying about at this point?Copy !req
615. I'm a mother.Copy !req
616. I can worry about a lot
of things at the same time.Copy !req
617. Like Larry's mole.Copy !req
618. Oh, it's fine, sweetie.
No,Copy !req
619. - it's getting bigger.
Spread out.Copy !req
620. - Look for them.Copy !req
621. Hey, uh, I... I...
I texted you this morningCopy !req
622. and I didn't hear anything back.Copy !req
623. Are you being serious right now?Copy !req
624. No. No.Copy !req
625. Darcy!Copy !req
626. Darcy! Hey!Copy !req
627. - No, no, no, no. Darcy.Copy !req
628. - Darcy, I'm coming in.
- Fuck off, Tom!Copy !req
629. Oh, thank God.Copy !req
630. Listen, I know you're mad
at me right now,Copy !req
631. but you have to let me in.Copy !req
632. Why would I be mad?
I'm awesome.Copy !req
633. I'm on a tropical island,
I'm having a liquid brunch,Copy !req
634. and I don't have
to answer to anybody!Copy !req
635. Oh, my God,
this is not happening.Copy !req
636. Oh, it is happening, buddy.Copy !req
637. Okay? And once I get this
hair condo off my head,Copy !req
638. I'm gonna march down
to that beachCopy !req
639. and tell everybody
how you blew this up!Copy !req
640. Shh... shh!Copy !req
641. Are you seriously shushing me
right now?Copy !req
642. What the fuck?Copy !req
643. Is that blood?Copy !req
644. There's no time for
a blood freak-out right now.Copy !req
645. - Don't tell me...Copy !req
646. - There are pirates outside,Copy !req
647. and they took everybody hostage.Copy !req
648. What?Copy !req
649. - We have to get help.
No, no. No. No.Copy !req
650. The phone is dead.Copy !req
651. Oh, the Wi-Fi too.Copy !req
652. Marge said the cell service
is better on the north side.Copy !req
653. Why did you pick an island
with no cell service?Copy !req
654. Because I wanted people
to be present and in the moment.Copy !req
655. - Jeez!Copy !req
656. I can't breathe.
I can't breathe!Copy !req
657. I know. Me neither.Copy !req
658. No. I... I really can't breathe.
It's the shapewear.Copy !req
659. Please help me get out
of this dress now.Copy !req
660. Now!Copy !req
661. Would you relax?Copy !req
662. What did you just say to me?Copy !req
663. I said everything's
gonna be okay.Copy !req
664. Dress is like a riddle.Copy !req
665. - Oh!Copy !req
666. God, I'm gonna die
in this dress!Copy !req
667. Oh, door latches
from the inside.Copy !req
668. He's gonna know we're in here.Copy !req
669. He's also gonna know
we're in hereCopy !req
670. when he comes in here
and we're in here.Copy !req
671. He'll think we're in the shower.Copy !req
672. What... What?Copy !req
673. And come back at a
better time? Leave a note?Copy !req
674. - All right.Copy !req
675. Okay, h... here's the plan.
He comes in,Copy !req
676. he's gonna think
we're in the shower,Copy !req
677. then I jump out
and I trap him in the net.Copy !req
678. Oh, my God,
that's an amazing plan.Copy !req
679. - Yes!
- No!Copy !req
680. You're gonna throw
a net over a pirate?Copy !req
681. Have you ever tried
to get out of a net?Copy !req
682. It's very hard
to get out of a net.Copy !req
683. Okay. How about...Copy !req
684. How about this?
I spray him in the eyes.Copy !req
685. How is hairspray in the eyesCopy !req
686. better than a net over his head?Copy !req
687. Wait! Yes, that's actually...Copy !req
688. That's actually...
You spray that.Copy !req
689. I'll light the match.
It'll be like a flamethrower.Copy !req
690. - I mean, it won't work!
- Why?Copy !req
691. - Too many steps.
- It's two steps.Copy !req
692. It's two steps.
Flamethrower, net.Copy !req
693. I pop outCopy !req
694. and I put the net over
his head. I'll surprise him.Copy !req
695. No, Tom, because bullets
shoot through nets!Copy !req
696. - Technically, yeah.
- Technically?Copy !req
697. Technically, he won't be able
to shoot straightCopy !req
698. because he'll be all fuckin'
wrapped up in the net.Copy !req
699. I swear to God, if you say
"net" one more time...Copy !req
700. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
701. Psst.
Flamethrower.Copy !req
702. I'm gonna fuck him up.Copy !req
703. I'm gonna fuck him up.Copy !req
704. Fuck!Copy !req
705. Ow!Copy !req
706. - Never mind! Never mind.
- Why did you do that?Copy !req
707. - Never mind!Copy !req
708. - You were right.Copy !req
709. That hairspray was
so much worse than the net.Copy !req
710. Ow!
Get up.Copy !req
711. Okay.Copy !req
712. Come on.
Don't strangle me.Copy !req
713. Turn your arm.
I have them alive.Copy !req
714. Wait, wait. What?Copy !req
715. Bungalow 15. Pick me up.Copy !req
716. Go collect them.Copy !req
717. And then we can begin.Copy !req
718. You doing okay, Jamie?Copy !req
719. My stomach feels likeCopy !req
720. it's gonna fall through
my asshole.Copy !req
721. But otherwise, I'm chill.Copy !req
722. Listen, it's normal
to feel scared.Copy !req
723. But I'm not gonna let
anything happen to youCopy !req
724. or your family. Promise.Copy !req
725. Hey, Sean?Copy !req
726. I am also feeling scared.Copy !req
727. Like the most scared I've
ever been in my whole life.Copy !req
728. It's like I just watched
The Ring, you know?Copy !req
729. Robbie, baby,
I want youCopy !req
730. to practice
the breathing exerciseCopy !req
731. that we learned at Esalen, okay?Copy !req
732. I'm gonna hit a pressure
point. Ready? And...Copy !req
733. - Breathe. Breathe.Copy !req
734. From the diaphragm.Copy !req
735. I think I'm gonna throw up now.Copy !req
736. It's okay. You're doing fine.Copy !req
737. If he keeps making that noise,Copy !req
738. just go ahead and shoot me.Copy !req
739. The happy coupleCopy !req
740. will be here in a second.Copy !req
741. So let's get to business.Copy !req
742. Where is the father
of the bride?Copy !req
743. Robert. He's calling ya again.Copy !req
744. Thanks, Carol.Copy !req
745. Okay, what do you want?Copy !req
746. Well, we call my colleagueCopy !req
747. on the satellite phone,Copy !req
748. and you transfer $45 million
to a bank account.Copy !req
749. What? What?Copy !req
750. I don't have that kind of money.Copy !req
751. We googled you.Copy !req
752. Net worth is $60 million.Copy !req
753. I'm not giving you anythingCopy !req
754. until I find out
if my daughter's safe.Copy !req
755. - And your son-in-law.
- Yeah, him too.Copy !req
756. Okay.Copy !req
757. I can wait two minutes
to take all your money.Copy !req
758. This way.Copy !req
759. You want some pineapple candies?Copy !req
760. They're from that weird
welcome bag we got,Copy !req
761. but I found them in my pocket.Copy !req
762. No, I don't want
loose, wet candyCopy !req
763. from your gross pockets.Copy !req
764. Okay.Copy !req
765. Suit yourself.Copy !req
766. Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
767. - I'm starving.
- No.Copy !req
768. - You're an asshole.
- Hmm.Copy !req
769. God, I can't believe
that I had sex with you.Copy !req
770. Honestly, I was
pretty surprised by that too.Copy !req
771. My parents,
they got divorcedCopy !req
772. when I was in high school,Copy !req
773. and my first engagement
was a disaster.Copy !req
774. What about you?
Are you dating anyone?Copy !req
775. Have you always
wanted to be a pirate?Copy !req
776. No more talk, lady.Copy !req
777. Excuse me, sirs.Copy !req
778. Darcy, they're gonna hurt you.Copy !req
779. I just can't help but noticeCopy !req
780. that you guys
smell like cigarettes,Copy !req
781. and I am loving it.Copy !req
782. Is there any way
I could bum a cigarette?Copy !req
783. I mean, I think
it might help with the...Copy !req
784. the panic and dread
I'm experiencing right now.Copy !req
785. Since when do you
smoke cigarettes?Copy !req
786. It's...Copy !req
787. I just... You don't even
have to untie my hands.Copy !req
788. I mean, I... I can smoke
with no hands.Copy !req
789. You could just put it
right in my mouth.Copy !req
790. Give her a cigarette.Copy !req
791. - Please.
- Maybe it will shut her up.Copy !req
792. Yes, yes, yes,
it will shut me up.Copy !req
793. Oh, thank you.Copy !req
794. You guys are the...Copy !req
795. best.Copy !req
796. What?Copy !req
797. - Fire!Copy !req
798. Oh, my God!Copy !req
799. - Oh, my God! Flamethrower!Copy !req
800. - Oh, my...Copy !req
801. See, that's why you only have
a plan with one step!Copy !req
802. - No!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
803. - Get the brakes!
- I'm trying! I'm trying!Copy !req
804. - Cliff!Copy !req
805. - Cliff! Cliff!
I see it!Copy !req
806. Get it into park!Copy !req
807. I'm trying!Copy !req
808. Oh, God! Oh, my God!
God!Copy !req
809. Oh, slide out!Copy !req
810. My dress!
My dress, Tom!Copy !req
811. Tom, don't let go!Copy !req
812. - Don't you let go!Copy !req
813. I'm stuck! I'm stuck!Copy !req
814. - Go!Copy !req
815. Go. Go, go, go.
Go, go, go.Copy !req
816. Quick, do something baseball-y.Copy !req
817. What? This is nothing
like baseball!Copy !req
818. - Down! Down, down!
Fuck!Copy !req
819. - He's out of ammo.
- Right.Copy !req
820. - Run at him!
- What?Copy !req
821. - Go. Believe me, just go!
- No, no, no!Copy !req
822. - Grenade!
- He has a grenade!Copy !req
823. Sir!Copy !req
824. Sir, sir.Copy !req
825. Give me the grenade, sir. Sir!Copy !req
826. Sir, give me the grenade.
Sir. Sir!Copy !req
827. Ah-ow. Ow!Copy !req
828. Oh, my God.Copy !req
829. - Is he dead?
- I don't know.Copy !req
830. Are you dead?Copy !req
831. Oh, yeah, he's very not alive.Copy !req
832. Not alive. Oh, boy.Copy !req
833. - Yes! You killed him!
- Yeah!Copy !req
834. Yeah, I killed him!
I killed him!Copy !req
835. Oh, my God, I killed a man.Copy !req
836. I killed a man. No.Copy !req
837. - How do you feel?Copy !req
838. I feel... Oh, my God.
I feel horrible.Copy !req
839. - Yeah.
- But excited.Copy !req
840. You know, like, happy.Copy !req
841. Like I'm gonna shit my pants.Copy !req
842. - Yeah.
- You know, like,Copy !req
843. but in a good way.
You know?Copy !req
844. Huh.Copy !req
845. Oh, my God.Copy !req
846. I'm gonna go to prison.Copy !req
847. - I'm gonna...
- No!Copy !req
848. - Yeah.
- No. It was... It...Copy !req
849. It was self-defense.
He was trying to kill us.Copy !req
850. Any court would...Copy !req
851. Any court...Copy !req
852. Are you okay?Copy !req
853. Yeah. I'm fine. I'm fine.Copy !req
854. It's just, you know,
I looked over thereCopy !req
855. and I saw all the blood.Copy !req
856. And, you know,
I think I saw some brain.Copy !req
857. - Was that brain stuff?
- Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
858. And so I'm just gonna
look up at the skyCopy !req
859. and... so I don't pass out.Copy !req
860. Okay. Well, you know what?
Maybe we should...Copy !req
861. - Let's just step awayCopy !req
862. from the scene.Copy !req
863. - And don't look down.
- Okay.Copy !req
864. - Okay.
- Just don't look down.Copy !req
865. They should be here by now.Copy !req
866. Head up the road.Copy !req
867. - Check on them.
Yeah.Copy !req
868. All right. We need
to get off this island.Copy !req
869. Well, it might help that
I got this grenade for us.Copy !req
870. I mean, he was trying
to blow us up, but I got it.Copy !req
871. I got it.
Another point for Darcy.Copy !req
872. Okay, Darcy.Copy !req
873. Uh...Copy !req
874. Do you rememberCopy !req
875. that time that we were
driving down the highwayCopy !req
876. and you very calmly
told me to pull over?Copy !req
877. And you waited
until we pulled overCopy !req
878. to tell me that there was
a giant spider on my head?Copy !req
879. Yeah. Yeah.Copy !req
880. Yeah, well, that was very smart.Copy !req
881. Because if you had
told me before,Copy !req
882. I might have panicked
and crashed the car.Copy !req
883. Wait. Is there a spider
on my head?Copy !req
884. No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
885. No, no. I tell you
this story because...Copy !req
886. I don't want you to panicCopy !req
887. when I tell you
what I'm about to tell you.Copy !req
888. Your grenade doesn't have a pin.Copy !req
889. - What does that mean?
- Well...Copy !req
890. Well, is it... is it...
is it gonna explode?Copy !req
891. No, no, no, no, no.
No, no, no.Copy !req
892. Hold it exactly how you're
holding it. Good. Good.Copy !req
893. - Okay. Okay.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
894. That pin holds the handle on.Copy !req
895. But when you let go
of the grenade,Copy !req
896. the handle pops off,Copy !req
897. which lights the fuse,
and the whole thing goes...Copy !req
898. boom.Copy !req
899. How do you know
so much about grenades?Copy !req
900. Video games.Copy !req
901. So what should I do?
Should... Should I throw it?Copy !req
902. Well, my concern is that
you won't be ableCopy !req
903. to throw it far enough
to not blow us up.Copy !req
904. - No offense.
- God.Copy !req
905. So, what, I just...
I just hold this live grenade?Copy !req
906. This grenade is just
part of my life now?Copy !req
907. Yeah, for now, yeah, yeah, yeah.Copy !req
908. Okay, here's the plan.Copy !req
909. We're gonna get a knife.Copy !req
910. - Okay. All right.
- I'm gonna cutCopy !req
911. through these ties,Copy !req
912. we're gonna get rid
of that grenade,Copy !req
913. and then we're gonna
head down to the docks.Copy !req
914. We're gonna bum-rush
the pirate guarding it,Copy !req
915. hop in a boat, and head
to the next island for help.Copy !req
916. - Okay?
- Tom, that plan...Copy !req
917. Has too many steps.
I see that now.Copy !req
918. Now, you got a simpler one?Copy !req
919. - Yes. Yes.
- What?Copy !req
920. - Yes. Okay.
- What are you doing?Copy !req
921. Get down here. Found it.Copy !req
922. - Found it. Yes.
- What are we doing?Copy !req
923. - Right here.
- What are we doing?Copy !req
924. - Oh.Copy !req
925. Oh.Copy !req
926. Find cell service.
Call for help.Copy !req
927. When did you put that
in your underwear?Copy !req
928. Right before the pirates
took us out of the cabana.Copy !req
929. Because
I'm a sneaky little bitch.Copy !req
930. Oh, you are
a sneaky little bitch.Copy !req
931. - Thank you.Copy !req
932. - Okay.
- Let's start walking.Copy !req
933. Sneaky.
Sneaky little bitch.Copy !req
934. You're testing my patience,
Robert!Copy !req
935. Look, you want my money?
I want my daughter.Copy !req
936. - It's a simple negotiation.
Enough!Copy !req
937. All right.Copy !req
938. They're bringing him back.Copy !req
939. Move.Copy !req
940. Robert. What happened?
Are you okay?Copy !req
941. They didn't hurt you, did they?Copy !req
942. Well, I'm not giving them a dimeCopy !req
943. till I know my daughter's alive.Copy !req
944. That didn't go over very well.Copy !req
945. I'm afraid they're gonna
start shooting the hostages.Copy !req
946. I don't think
they're gonna do that.Copy !req
947. Isn't that exactly
what pirates do?Copy !req
948. Come out, Mr. Pirate Man!Copy !req
949. My nameCopy !req
950. is Carol Elaine Fowler,Copy !req
951. and I deserve to live.Copy !req
952. Carol, what are you doing?Copy !req
953. I'm humanizing myself.Copy !req
954. I saw it
on Good Morning America.Copy !req
955. If you humanize yourself
to them, they let you live.Copy !req
956. I am a wife. I am a mother.Copy !req
957. And I was Milford,
Michigan's top realtorCopy !req
958. in 1998,Copy !req
959. and again in 2007.Copy !req
960. I dream of going to Ireland.Copy !req
961. I was a late bloomerCopy !req
962. and my teeth didn't come in
till I was 14.Copy !req
963. Please pick me.Copy !req
964. My name is Jeannie Reed.Copy !req
965. I am a devoted motherCopy !req
966. and a slightly
less devoted wife.Copy !req
967. This is my first vacation
without my kids,Copy !req
968. so I drank a lot of champagne
before the ceremony,Copy !req
969. took a couple of weed gummies,Copy !req
970. and the combination is
really killing me right now.Copy !req
971. I'm Amanda Walker.Copy !req
972. I'm a godmother
and a woman in tech.Copy !req
973. - I went to...
- I am Renata.Copy !req
974. I'm from Brazil.Copy !req
975. I have beautiful hair.Copy !req
976. Yeah. Very beautiful.Copy !req
977. What else?Copy !req
978. You're a mother.Copy !req
979. I am a mother.Copy !req
980. My name is Ricky Silver.Copy !req
981. A lot of my friends,
they're pairing up,Copy !req
982. and they're getting marriedCopy !req
983. and drinking loose-leaf tea
and shit.Copy !req
984. And I'm still single.
But last night...Copy !req
985. I made love to a gorgeous
and terrifying woman.Copy !req
986. You think I'm terrifying?Copy !req
987. You scare the shit out of me.Copy !req
988. I'm Larry Fowler.Copy !req
989. Oh...Copy !req
990. Thank you.Copy !req
991. - Oh.
Oh, easy, Dad.Copy !req
992. - Hold the phone. Yes.
How am I gonna...Copy !req
993. - Hold it steady.
Hold it. Hold on.Copy !req
994. I just gotta get this thing
out of my head.Copy !req
995. It's driving me crazy.Copy !req
996. - Wait. Hold on. Just wait.
- What are you...Copy !req
997. What are you... Are you
stuffing a loose wadCopy !req
998. of hair in my pocket?Copy !req
999. Yes. A loose wad
of very expensive,Copy !req
1000. custom-made hair
that I would like to keep.Copy !req
1001. If we survive.Copy !req
1002. What's so funny?Copy !req
1003. - I've just been...
- Ow, ow, ow!Copy !req
1004. questioning
everything lately.Copy !req
1005. What if the wedding's
not perfect?Copy !req
1006. What if your parents
never like me?Copy !req
1007. What does life look like
after baseball?Copy !req
1008. But not once did I wonderCopy !req
1009. if I'd be walking handcuffed
through the jungleCopy !req
1010. with a live grenade.Copy !req
1011. Oh. Pirates chasing you
wasn't on your vision board?Copy !req
1012. Well, you were the only thing
on my vision board.Copy !req
1013. - I got it, I got it, I got it.
- Oh! Oh!Copy !req
1014. - You got it? You got it?
- I got it. I got it.Copy !req
1015. - Okay. I got it.
- Oh, good. Okay. Oh.Copy !req
1016. - We have a bar.
- Oh, good.Copy !req
1017. All right.Copy !req
1018. - Keep your hands with me.
- Okay.Copy !req
1019. - Okay.
- Call for help.Copy !req
1020. Yes. Shit! It's gone.Copy !req
1021. Well, keep trying.Copy !req
1022. - I think, maybe...
- We have to go higher.Copy !req
1023. - What?
- Yes.Copy !req
1024. Not... No. No, no, no.
Uh, I don't like higher.Copy !req
1025. Yeah, I don't... I don't think
this thing is built to code.Copy !req
1026. - Tom.
- Anything?Copy !req
1027. No. Come on.Copy !req
1028. - Yeah.
- We're almost at the top.Copy !req
1029. Maybe we should go back down
so we're not up so high.Copy !req
1030. Don't think about the heights
right now. Okay? We're safe.Copy !req
1031. Yeah. You use the word
"safe" very loosely.Copy !req
1032. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1033. - Full service. Full service.
- Oh, yes.Copy !req
1034. - I have full service.Copy !req
1035. Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Silence it.Copy !req
1036. - I'm trying.Copy !req
1037. Your group chat
is out of control.Copy !req
1038. I will not apologize for
having enthusiastic friends.Copy !req
1039. Oh! You dropped it.Copy !req
1040. Come on!Copy !req
1041. - We gotta zip.
- Zip?Copy !req
1042. What do you mean, "zip"?Copy !req
1043. - Oh! Zip. Oh, God!Copy !req
1044. Go, go, go.Copy !req
1045. No, I don't think we have
the proper equipment.Copy !req
1046. - Well, they have guns.Copy !req
1047. Is there
some kind of a manual?Copy !req
1048. Come down!Copy !req
1049. We need helmets. I see
lots of helmets in the photos.Copy !req
1050. And then why do
they look scared?Copy !req
1051. Stop thinking so much.
Jump!Copy !req
1052. - Stop screaming!
- Oh, God! Oh, my God!Copy !req
1053. Whoa!Copy !req
1054. Tom, don't let go.Copy !req
1055. - The fuck!Copy !req
1056. Hold on, baby. Hold on.Copy !req
1057. Okay.Copy !req
1058. Uh...Copy !req
1059. - Yeah!
Yeah!Copy !req
1060. What the hell was that?Copy !req
1061. Oh, God!Copy !req
1062. Oh, God!
- How do we land this thing?Copy !req
1063. Me first. I'm gonna go first.Copy !req
1064. - What about me?
- No, let me. Me first.Copy !req
1065. I'm gonna jump.
I'm gonna jump.Copy !req
1066. Okay, okay.
- I got it. I got it.Copy !req
1067. Here I go!Copy !req
1068. Oh!Copy !req
1069. These people are sick.Copy !req
1070. You find them, but I kill them.Copy !req
1071. You can have the man,Copy !req
1072. but the bride is mine.Copy !req
1073. Police, coast guard,
they're all right there.Copy !req
1074. - How do we get across?
- I don't know.Copy !req
1075. Okay,
let's all go aroundCopy !req
1076. and play two truths and a lie.Copy !req
1077. Be quiet!Copy !req
1078. - Carol.
- Mom.Copy !req
1079. Easy.Copy !req
1080. Okay, come on.Copy !req
1081. Come on, come on, come on.Copy !req
1082. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1083. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1084. I'm gonna fix this.Copy !req
1085. My poor mom.Copy !req
1086. She thought she was
gonna be ableCopy !req
1087. to avoid my dad all weekend.Copy !req
1088. My mom used to
love my dad so much.Copy !req
1089. He was her whole world.Copy !req
1090. Then when he left,
she just lost her joy.Copy !req
1091. I mean, she acts tough, but...Copy !req
1092. she never really recovered.Copy !req
1093. - Darcy, I'm sorry...
- I know.Copy !req
1094. We have to keep moving.Copy !req
1095. What the hell
does that mean?Copy !req
1096. Kitchen.Copy !req
1097. Okay, we need to find a knife.Copy !req
1098. - Oh. Mmm.
- What... What...Copy !req
1099. What are you doing?Copy !req
1100. I'm starving.
Have you eaten today?Copy !req
1101. No, I'm not hungry.Copy !req
1102. Yes, you are.
You're acting cranky.Copy !req
1103. - Mmm. Mmm! Mmm.
Mmm.Copy !req
1104. - Mmm, this is so delicious.Copy !req
1105. I love your mom.Copy !req
1106. Okay, come on.Copy !req
1107. Come on. Ow! Easy, easy.Copy !req
1108. I can't cut with one hand.Copy !req
1109. Well, I can't cut with no hands.Copy !req
1110. We need to find something else.Copy !req
1111. Okay?Copy !req
1112. Something that cuts
through plastic.Copy !req
1113. Hmm...Copy !req
1114. Yep.Copy !req
1115. - Is this a bad idea?
- Yeah.Copy !req
1116. - You ready?
- No!Copy !req
1117. Okay.Copy !req
1118. There you go.Copy !req
1119. Hang on,
hang on, hang on!Copy !req
1120. Darcy, you're stalling.Copy !req
1121. - I know.
- We got this.Copy !req
1122. - Okay. Yes.
- We got this.Copy !req
1123. - On my count. Ready?
- Okay.Copy !req
1124. - Yes.
- Ten, nine, eight...Copy !req
1125. Why are you counting from ten?Copy !req
1126. What is this, a rocket launch?Copy !req
1127. Okay, fine. On four.Copy !req
1128. One, two, three...Copy !req
1129. No one goes on four.Copy !req
1130. - No one goes on four.
- All right...Copy !req
1131. Shh! Shh.Copy !req
1132. - Okay.
- Just...Copy !req
1133. - Just like a Band-Aid.
- Fine, fine.Copy !req
1134. - Ready? Go.
- Like a Band-Aid.Copy !req
1135. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1136. Come on.Copy !req
1137. Tom!Copy !req
1138. Tom.Copy !req
1139. I thought you left.Copy !req
1140. What?Copy !req
1141. No.Copy !req
1142. Never.Copy !req
1143. Where'd your mom's knife go?Copy !req
1144. Oh, Jesus, help me.Copy !req
1145. That's good.Copy !req
1146. Throw me those boots.Copy !req
1147. What?Copy !req
1148. That dress is growing on me.Copy !req
1149. Thanks.Copy !req
1150. I wanted something
less traditional.Copy !req
1151. Yes. Maybe Margy's got
a hard line to the Internet.Copy !req
1152. Wow, does Margy love corgis.Copy !req
1153. No. Damn it.Copy !req
1154. You go over there,
I'll go here.Copy !req
1155. Yeah.
- They're right there.Copy !req
1156. - What do I do?
- I don't know.Copy !req
1157. I don't know.Copy !req
1158. - Oh, Margy.
- This way.Copy !req
1159. Go, go, go.Copy !req
1160. Okay. I got you.Copy !req
1161. It's okay. It's okay.Copy !req
1162. Come. Faster, faster.Copy !req
1163. Ace, Margy...Copy !req
1164. - Is this your bunker?
Uh-huh.Copy !req
1165. - Man cave.
- Is it spinning?Copy !req
1166. Is it spinning for anyone else?Copy !req
1167. You're losing blood. Sit down.Copy !req
1168. - Sit down. Okay.
- Bandages. Ace.Copy !req
1169. I'll get the medical kit.Copy !req
1170. Give me your hand.
I'm gonna wrap it.Copy !req
1171. No. No, no, no. No.Copy !req
1172. Are you sure? It's disgusting.Copy !req
1173. Yeah.Copy !req
1174. Oh. Cheers.Copy !req
1175. Okay.Copy !req
1176. Looks like it's got a flap.Copy !req
1177. It's got a loose flap.Copy !req
1178. - Listen, just be...
Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1179. Just... Just be careful
with the flap.Copy !req
1180. Please stop saying "flap," okay?Copy !req
1181. I'm totally fine.
Just don't say flap.Copy !req
1182. How many are there?
- Uh...Copy !req
1183. Two in the lobby.Copy !req
1184. Couple more by the pool
with the hostages.Copy !req
1185. And, uh, one by the dock, right?Copy !req
1186. But we got four.Copy !req
1187. What do you mean, "got"?Copy !req
1188. Got them to stop, you know,Copy !req
1189. being alive.Copy !req
1190. Holy shit.Copy !req
1191. Well, yeah, we didn't
see any of your staff, though.Copy !req
1192. I saw them getting
locked up in the spa.Copy !req
1193. They never bother
with the locals.Copy !req
1194. Americans are the rich idiots.
No offense.Copy !req
1195. I just don't understand why
the pirates are still here.Copy !req
1196. Last time, they just
looted the rooms.Copy !req
1197. Twenty minutes, gone.Copy !req
1198. What do you mean, "last time"?Copy !req
1199. Last year.Copy !req
1200. Two thousand
islands in the Philippines,Copy !req
1201. and they hit us twice?Copy !req
1202. - It's not fair.
- Wait, wait.Copy !req
1203. The pirates were here
last summer?Copy !req
1204. And you let us have
our wedding here?Copy !req
1205. What? Tom-Tom.Copy !req
1206. We talked about it, huh?Copy !req
1207. You knew about this?Copy !req
1208. Well, first of all,
nobody got killed last summer.Copy !req
1209. And we both agreed thatCopy !req
1210. the chances of it happening
again were very small.Copy !req
1211. - Who's "we"?
- Me and Margy.Copy !req
1212. We e-mailed a lot,Copy !req
1213. and I asked a lot of
tough questions, didn't I?Copy !req
1214. How could you not
tell me about this?Copy !req
1215. You didn't tell me that
you were having doubtsCopy !req
1216. about getting married, so...Copy !req
1217. Yeah, you're right.Copy !req
1218. I didn't. You know why?Copy !req
1219. Because all last year,Copy !req
1220. you were in your head
about everything.Copy !req
1221. You thought my dad
didn't like you,Copy !req
1222. so you started acting all weird.Copy !req
1223. And now my dad doesn't like you.Copy !req
1224. You thought the Robins
were gonna drop you.Copy !req
1225. And then you started
playing badly,Copy !req
1226. and they did drop you.
You thinkCopy !req
1227. that something bad
is gonna happen,Copy !req
1228. and then you make it happen.Copy !req
1229. That's called self-sabotage.Copy !req
1230. It is. Ace, thank you.Copy !req
1231. And all you were excited about
was this wedding.Copy !req
1232. And I knew that if I told you
that I was having doubts,Copy !req
1233. that you would sabotage
our whole relationship.Copy !req
1234. Which you did anyway!Copy !req
1235. I didn't sabotage anything.Copy !req
1236. I tried to make
this wedding perfect.Copy !req
1237. And it all got ruined the day
your boy Sean showed up.Copy !req
1238. This has nothing
to do with Sean.Copy !req
1239. This is about your insecurities.Copy !req
1240. And this whole weddingCopy !req
1241. was your way of trying
to get control of your life,Copy !req
1242. because you have
to control everything.Copy !req
1243. It's like when
you get out of the carCopy !req
1244. to "help me" parallel park,Copy !req
1245. when I can do it
just fine on my own.Copy !req
1246. Yeah, I wouldn't call
a 17-point turn "just fine."Copy !req
1247. Well, those jeans you bought
from Old Navy last monthCopy !req
1248. were women's jeans.Copy !req
1249. Uh...Copy !req
1250. Well, I found them
in the men's section.Copy !req
1251. They made you
look like Stevie Nicks.Copy !req
1252. That haircut that you got
last year, I hated it.Copy !req
1253. It made your head look square.Copy !req
1254. You looked like
a fucking Simpson.Copy !req
1255. You said it was chic.Copy !req
1256. You act so confident,Copy !req
1257. so strong, but you're just
a scared little girl.Copy !req
1258. You're afraid to go all in
on this relationshipCopy !req
1259. because it means you might
have something to lose.Copy !req
1260. Well, you know what?
None of it matters anyway.Copy !req
1261. Because everyone
we love could die.Copy !req
1262. Because of me.Copy !req
1263. I think they're
in the manager's house.Copy !req
1264. I think they heard it.Copy !req
1265. Why?Copy !req
1266. They stopped speaking English.Copy !req
1267. Here. Take it.Copy !req
1268. Don't. Tom.Copy !req
1269. We need to get out of here.
Where does this tunnel go?Copy !req
1270. It leads straight to the poolCopy !req
1271. where the rest
of the pirates are.Copy !req
1272. Oh, that's not ideal.Copy !req
1273. What are they saying?Copy !req
1274. No clue.Copy !req
1275. I don't know
what language that is,Copy !req
1276. but it ain't Filipino.Copy !req
1277. - No.
- No.Copy !req
1278. No one move. Stay right here.Copy !req
1279. Nobody move.Copy !req
1280. What are you doing?Copy !req
1281. Okay.Copy !req
1282. They know someone's here,Copy !req
1283. but they don't know
all of us are.Copy !req
1284. You stay here until it's over.Copy !req
1285. Tom!Copy !req
1286. Tom! They're gonna kill you.Copy !req
1287. - Don't do this.
I have to.Copy !req
1288. This isn't about us anymore.
This is...Copy !req
1289. This whole thing is my fault.Copy !req
1290. You deserve better.Copy !req
1291. Wait, Tom!Copy !req
1292. Uh... Oh, hey.Copy !req
1293. Hey, pirates!Copy !req
1294. I'm Tom, the groom
you guys have been looking for,Copy !req
1295. and I am
officially surrendering.Copy !req
1296. Shut up!
All right.Copy !req
1297. What, you don't like
to be called "pirates"?Copy !req
1298. I wanted to be a pirate
when I was a kid,Copy !req
1299. and you guys are
actually doin' it.Copy !req
1300. Move.
You're livin' the dream.Copy !req
1301. Congratulations.Copy !req
1302. They didn't kill him.
Oh, my God.Copy !req
1303. He's still alive.Copy !req
1304. Go!Copy !req
1305. Keep going. Just move.Copy !req
1306. Tommy. Oh, my God.
It's Tommy. Tommy!Copy !req
1307. - Shut up!Copy !req
1308. - Tommy, where is Darcy?
- Shut up!Copy !req
1309. Yes.
Where is your bride?Copy !req
1310. - I... I don't know.Copy !req
1311. Truly. Honestly.
I... I... I don't.Copy !req
1312. For reals. I don't...
I don't... I don't know.Copy !req
1313. You're a bad liar.Copy !req
1314. Yeah, he is a bad liar.Copy !req
1315. Tom,
if you know something,Copy !req
1316. the best thing you can do
is cooperate.Copy !req
1317. All they want is the money.Copy !req
1318. You know what?
Thank you, Sean,Copy !req
1319. as always, for being
the voice of reason.Copy !req
1320. Enough!Copy !req
1321. - Okay, fine!
Okay.Copy !req
1322. I'll tell you where she is.Copy !req
1323. Katuk kak ci.Copy !req
1324. What?Copy !req
1325. Holy shit.
What did you say to him?Copy !req
1326. It's kind of
an inside joke, Sean.Copy !req
1327. Can you give me a hand?
I'm a little woozy.Copy !req
1328. 'Course, man.
Here, I got you.Copy !req
1329. - Whoa, whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
1330. - What the hell are you doing?Copy !req
1331. Don't move or I swear
to God, you'll lose an eye.Copy !req
1332. Tommy, what are you doing?Copy !req
1333. Are you gonna spill the beans
or should I?Copy !req
1334. What beans?Copy !req
1335. Just spill the beans.Copy !req
1336. Sean hired these guysCopy !req
1337. to invade our wedding
to take Robert's money!Copy !req
1338. Whoa.
No, no, no, no, Tom.Copy !req
1339. No, it's true.Copy !req
1340. That is
a serious accusation,Copy !req
1341. but it's okay,Copy !req
1342. 'cause jealousy can get
the best of any of us.Copy !req
1343. Oh, no, no, no.
I'm not jealous.Copy !req
1344. Kind of.Copy !req
1345. It is completely normal
for you to see me as a threatCopy !req
1346. because Deedee and ICopy !req
1347. - had something transcendent.Copy !req
1348. But I am not a bad guy.Copy !req
1349. And I definitely don't haveCopy !req
1350. anything to do
with these pirates.Copy !req
1351. Oh, yeah?
Then why did he deck meCopy !req
1352. when I told him
to go fuck his grandpa?Copy !req
1353. Just listen.
Listen to yourself.Copy !req
1354. I said it in Balinese.
These guys are not local.Copy !req
1355. They're from Bali.Copy !req
1356. Margy said the local piratesCopy !req
1357. just looted and left last time.Copy !req
1358. It took 'em, like, 20 minutes.Copy !req
1359. Oh, God. "Last time"?Copy !req
1360. We were clearly targeted.
This whole thing was planned.Copy !req
1361. They knew about Robert's money.Copy !req
1362. And none of it made sense
until I found this.Copy !req
1363. Ricky, grab my...
Grab the... the...Copy !req
1364. Yeah, yeah.
- In my front pocket. Grab...Copy !req
1365. There's an envelope
in my front pocket.Copy !req
1366. - Just grab it!Copy !req
1367. There you go.Copy !req
1368. A-ha!Copy !req
1369. Slow, slow. Go slow.Copy !req
1370. Your wedding invitation?Copy !req
1371. Yes, but I got it off
of one of these guys.Copy !req
1372. Now, how did they get
that invitation?Copy !req
1373. I don't know.
Uh...Copy !req
1374. It had to be given to him
by an invited guest.Copy !req
1375. Now, what invited guest
could that be? Huh?Copy !req
1376. Ricky, op... open it.Copy !req
1377. A-ha!Copy !req
1378. This asshat thought
it was appropriateCopy !req
1379. to show up to a wedding
he didn't RSVP to!Copy !req
1380. He didn't RSVP!Copy !req
1381. Mom, that's not
the main issue right now.Copy !req
1382. Look, I'm a mother.
I can be upsetCopy !req
1383. about a lot of things
at the same time.Copy !req
1384. I think, right now, we should
be upset about one thing.Copy !req
1385. - Oh, okay.
Sean...Copy !req
1386. had these guys crash our weddingCopy !req
1387. so that he could get
a big fat ransomCopy !req
1388. from his best friend, Robert.Copy !req
1389. Huh? Yeah!Copy !req
1390. Bob... Bob.
Yes!Copy !req
1391. This is because
I didn't give youCopy !req
1392. that investment money
you wanted, isn't it?Copy !req
1393. - Yeah.
- No, no, it's not like that.Copy !req
1394. - How could... Papi.Copy !req
1395. How could you believeCopy !req
1396. that I would come here
and betray ev...Copy !req
1397. Believe it, Robert.
Believe it.Copy !req
1398. - That's right. That's right.
- Shit.Copy !req
1399. See? See, I told ya!
I told ya!Copy !req
1400. These lanterns
are so intricate.Copy !req
1401. Is there a note in it?Copy !req
1402. "Be excellent to each other."Copy !req
1403. Hmm.
Hmm. Huh.Copy !req
1404. It's from Bill and Ted's
Excellent Adventure.Copy !req
1405. Tom wanted to put a movie quoteCopy !req
1406. in each one
of the lanterns, and I...Copy !req
1407. I thought it was stupid,
but it's not.Copy !req
1408. It's sweet.Copy !req
1409. And I messed it all up.Copy !req
1410. I don't know how you guys do it.Copy !req
1411. You must have something
really special.Copy !req
1412. - Not really.
- Oi.Copy !req
1413. Uh, I mean, it is special
but it is not magic.Copy !req
1414. We just made a vow.Copy !req
1415. And we've messed things up
thousands of times.Copy !req
1416. But when we break something,
we fix it.Copy !req
1417. Darcy,
we come with you,Copy !req
1418. but we don't want to.Copy !req
1419. Tommy finally made
the big leagues.Copy !req
1420. Yeah, I never heard
that one before.Copy !req
1421. I know you haven't.Copy !req
1422. - Where is she?
- I don't know.Copy !req
1423. I don't... I... I don't...
I don't know.Copy !req
1424. - You're lying.
- No, I'm... I'm... Honestly,Copy !req
1425. - I don't know.
- Okay.Copy !req
1426. God damn it!Copy !req
1427. - Would you stop doing that?
Yeah.Copy !req
1428. - He'll do it again.
Fine. Fine.Copy !req
1429. I was lying.Copy !req
1430. After we cut ourselves loose,
Darcy and I got into a fight.Copy !req
1431. She hopped in a golf cart
to go look for cell receptionCopy !req
1432. up by the northern coast
near the cliffs, and then I...Copy !req
1433. I came back here
to try to rescue everyone.Copy !req
1434. Come on!Copy !req
1435. Okay.Copy !req
1436. We'll take
the chopper to find her.Copy !req
1437. I'm comin' with you.Copy !req
1438. I've been watching you
mess this up all day.Copy !req
1439. This is my show now.Copy !req
1440. Wow,
that's really good.Copy !req
1441. We're doing this my way now.
You got it?Copy !req
1442. We need collateral.Copy !req
1443. Get the girlfriend.Copy !req
1444. Hey. Come.Copy !req
1445. - Here. Move!
- Ow! Hey.Copy !req
1446. Oh, no.Copy !req
1447. Go. Move!
- Please, I'm a Gemini.Copy !req
1448. I bruise easily.Copy !req
1449. Go!
Ow! Ow! Ow!Copy !req
1450. - Oh, my God!
Robert? Robert!Copy !req
1451. When I get back, that money
better be in my account.Copy !req
1452. And if it's not, she's dead.Copy !req
1453. And I treated you
just like a son.Copy !req
1454. - You're stuck with Tommy now.
- Robert.Copy !req
1455. - Well, what's wrong with that?
- Fuck off.Copy !req
1456. No, no, no, no, no, no, no.Copy !req
1457. Darcy...Copy !req
1458. Tom,Copy !req
1459. you promised you wouldn't
leave my side this weekend.Copy !req
1460. Darcy, what are you doing?Copy !req
1461. Tom, listen.Copy !req
1462. I'm still mad at you for
picking this pirate island,Copy !req
1463. but I messed up too.
I should've told youCopy !req
1464. how scared I was to get married.Copy !req
1465. That wasn't fair.Copy !req
1466. You worked so hard
on this pirate island wedding.Copy !req
1467. Okay, no, no, no.
Please stop calling it that.Copy !req
1468. I just worried
that if I told you,Copy !req
1469. that I would lose you.Copy !req
1470. And I can't lose you.Copy !req
1471. I need you.Copy !req
1472. Okay?Copy !req
1473. Okay?Copy !req
1474. - Okay.Copy !req
1475. - Okay.
Okay.Copy !req
1476. This is so much better
than South Pacific.Copy !req
1477. And Mom, Dad?Copy !req
1478. Whoa!Copy !req
1479. Babe.
- What the fuck?Copy !req
1480. Did you just shoot me?Copy !req
1481. Stop shooting your sister!Copy !req
1482. I didn't mean to.
It was a mistake. I...Copy !req
1483. Mom, Dad, apologize to Tom.Copy !req
1484. - What? Why?
- What?Copy !req
1485. For criticizing this beautiful
wedding that he planned,Copy !req
1486. and for never making him
feel welcome in our family.Copy !req
1487. And for inviting Sean
to our wedding.Copy !req
1488. Okay, honey, but I think there'sCopy !req
1489. - a more pressing issue...
- Apologize!Copy !req
1490. - He is the best personCopy !req
1491. that I know.Copy !req
1492. And if you say one more
bad thing about him,Copy !req
1493. I swear I will shoot you
like I shot Jamie.Copy !req
1494. Tom, I'm sorry. Sorry.Copy !req
1495. - Tom, sorry. Sorry.
- We love you.Copy !req
1496. - Oh, hey, it's fine.
- You're the best personCopy !req
1497. - I've ever met.
It's okay. I love you.Copy !req
1498. - We love you like family.
- I love you, too.Copy !req
1499. - All right. It's all good.
- I love this place. Beautiful.Copy !req
1500. And, Carol, Larry...Copy !req
1501. - I'm sorry! I'm sorry!Copy !req
1502. This was more about
me and my family,Copy !req
1503. but we should get
lunch sometime.Copy !req
1504. - I would...
- Oh, yeah,Copy !req
1505. - lunch sounds great. Yeah.
- We love eating.Copy !req
1506. It's hard for anyone to live up
to your perfect marriage.Copy !req
1507. Who told you
we had a perfect marriage?Copy !req
1508. Oh, come on, Mom.Copy !req
1509. You guys fought, like, once.Copy !req
1510. It was about
who loved the dog more.Copy !req
1511. I mean, what is not perfect
about your marriage?Copy !req
1512. Well, I made love
to your Aunt Marie.Copy !req
1513. What?Copy !req
1514. Yeah.
Then I went outCopy !req
1515. and started doing
all this weird sex stuffCopy !req
1516. with Jim Roberts.Copy !req
1517. Yeah.
You and Jim RobertsCopy !req
1518. - went on for a couple months.
Yes.Copy !req
1519. - Because our bodies just fit.
Holy...Copy !req
1520. In the end, Jim Roberts
just wasn't your dad.Copy !req
1521. And Aunt Marie realized
that she had a sex addiction.Copy !req
1522. But then you know what?
We worked it out.Copy !req
1523. These are some
incredible breakthroughs,Copy !req
1524. - right? I mean...
Give me that!Copy !req
1525. You remember me, huh?Copy !req
1526. Look, you burn my face. Huh?Copy !req
1527. Yes, I know. I still feel
really bad about that.Copy !req
1528. Everybody,
in the pool! Now!Copy !req
1529. Get in the pool! In!Copy !req
1530. Go! Go!Copy !req
1531. - Hey, you okay?
- Yes.Copy !req
1532. - Yeah?
- Are we missing people?Copy !req
1533. Yeah. Turns out
your boy Sean's an asshole.Copy !req
1534. We have the bride.Copy !req
1535. - Do you copy?Copy !req
1536. Do you copy?Copy !req
1537. Up! Up!Copy !req
1538. - Listen to me. Move.Copy !req
1539. Balinese?
So these guys are Balinese?Copy !req
1540. And Sean is full of shit,Copy !req
1541. and they took Harriett hostage?Copy !req
1542. It doesn't make sense.Copy !req
1543. Why would Sean take Harriett
hostage on the helicopterCopy !req
1544. when she was already
being held hostage here?Copy !req
1545. I don't know. Maybe he wanted
to take her extra hostage.Copy !req
1546. I think
Harriett is in on it.Copy !req
1547. What?
What do you mean?Copy !req
1548. Harriett and SeanCopy !req
1549. are boyfriend-girlfriend.Copy !req
1550. - Oh, come on.
- Boyfriend-girlfriend?Copy !req
1551. No, no. Look.Copy !req
1552. This is from last night.Copy !req
1553. Here we go.Copy !req
1554. Let's see.Copy !req
1555. Uh, hold on. Let me find it.Copy !req
1556. Oh. Oh, boy.Copy !req
1557. Yeah. There you go.Copy !req
1558. What? Go ahead. Say it.Copy !req
1559. Roberto...Copy !req
1560. Lo siento.Copy !req
1561. Gracias.Copy !req
1562. De nada.Copy !req
1563. There!Copy !req
1564. Sean, you promised this job
would make us rich.Copy !req
1565. So far, all it's done
is killed four of my men.Copy !req
1566. Man, you know we can fix this.Copy !req
1567. Deal is off. I keep the money.Copy !req
1568. You walk away with your life.Copy !req
1569. I don't wanna hear it.
You and I had an arrangement.Copy !req
1570. Sean, be reasonable.
He saved us.Copy !req
1571. - We're lucky to be alive.
- What are you talking about?Copy !req
1572. Listen to your woman.Copy !req
1573. - Oh.Copy !req
1574. It's okay.
It's just a pressure point.Copy !req
1575. Relax.Copy !req
1576. Just breathe into it.Copy !req
1577. What?Copy !req
1578. What?Copy !req
1579. Take us back down.Copy !req
1580. We'll finish the job ourselves.Copy !req
1581. - Babe.
- What?Copy !req
1582. - Excellent idea.
- Yeah, I know.Copy !req
1583. I have to do
everything myself!Copy !req
1584. What are we gonna do?
They'll be back any minute.Copy !req
1585. - Just...
Hey, hey, hey!Copy !req
1586. No whispers. Or I throw
grenade in the pool.Copy !req
1587. Okay.Copy !req
1588. Go with me, okay?Copy !req
1589. Just go with me.Copy !req
1590. Hey, everybody.Copy !req
1591. Look, I know this may
not be the best time,Copy !req
1592. but this may be our only chance
to have our wedding.Copy !req
1593. What do you say, Darcy?Copy !req
1594. Yeah, I... I love it.Copy !req
1595. Can... Can we do
bride's side on the leftCopy !req
1596. and groom's on the right?Copy !req
1597. Hey, Margy, will you officiate?Copy !req
1598. Hey, will you stop?
Stop it! Stop it now!Copy !req
1599. Wait, wait. If...Copy !req
1600. If you let my daughter
have her wedding,Copy !req
1601. I'll... I'll release
the funds.Copy !req
1602. Okay, let's go.Copy !req
1603. Let's go.Copy !req
1604. Thanks, Dad.Copy !req
1605. It's okay, princess.Copy !req
1606. There are some things that are
more important than money.Copy !req
1607. I don't know what they are,
but I think, uh...Copy !req
1608. Hope you know what you're doing.Copy !req
1609. ♪ Emeralds from mountainsCopy !req
1610. - Whoa, whoa, whoa.Copy !req
1611. I think you'd regret that.Copy !req
1612. Oh! No, no. Stop.Copy !req
1613. I'm fairly new to grenades.Copy !req
1614. But I'm pretty sure
that if you shoot me,Copy !req
1615. this springy thing pops off,Copy !req
1616. and then this thing
blows us all away.Copy !req
1617. - Ain't that right, babe?
- That's right, baby.Copy !req
1618. No, no, no.
What the...Copy !req
1619. Drop the guns.Copy !req
1620. No.Copy !req
1621. I can't throw that far.
It won't reach him.Copy !req
1622. Nobody fucks with my family.Copy !req
1623. Darcy?Copy !req
1624. Give me a meatball.Copy !req
1625. - Shit.Copy !req
1626. I know where to go!Copy !req
1627. Let's get moving!
Out of the pool!Copy !req
1628. Yeah!
- Come on! Come, come, come!Copy !req
1629. Get out of the pool!
Come on!Copy !req
1630. Yeah, let's go.
Margy! The spa!Copy !req
1631. It's safe in the spa!Copy !req
1632. They should've been
killing hostages every hour.Copy !req
1633. Killing people works, Sean.Copy !req
1634. - Fuck.
- Look, give me one chanceCopy !req
1635. to convince Darcy.Copy !req
1636. - All right? One.
- Fine. One chance.Copy !req
1637. Thank you, baby.Copy !req
1638. This is not a moment
right now, Sean.Copy !req
1639. - Move, come on! Come on!
All right!Copy !req
1640. Mom! Mom,
we're gonna go get help.Copy !req
1641. I need you to take care
of them. Can you do that?Copy !req
1642. And Carol...Copy !req
1643. thank you for the cake knife.Copy !req
1644. I fucking love this cake knife.Copy !req
1645. It's just you and me now.
Let's go.Copy !req
1646. Hey, wasn't this the plan
with too many steps?Copy !req
1647. You did this for me?Copy !req
1648. Is this what you wanted?Copy !req
1649. Just you and me
in the middle of the ocean?Copy !req
1650. Darcy, I'm sorry
I stopped listening to you.Copy !req
1651. I just thought that if
I planned the perfect wedding,Copy !req
1652. we could have
the perfect marriage, but...Copy !req
1653. But that doesn't exist.Copy !req
1654. I mean, look at my parents.Copy !req
1655. My Aunt Marie, the sex addict.Copy !req
1656. I just wanna be with you.
All that matters is you.Copy !req
1657. We don't ever
have to get married.Copy !req
1658. And if we survive this thing,
can we just...Copy !req
1659. Can we start over?Copy !req
1660. Go, go, go, go.Copy !req
1661. Deedee, listen to me!Copy !req
1662. Deedee, this is a huge
misunderstanding, all right?Copy !req
1663. Let's go back to the resort,Copy !req
1664. talk this over.
I do not want to hurt you.Copy !req
1665. Then stop shooting
at us, asshole!Copy !req
1666. And stop calling her Deedee!Copy !req
1667. Fuck!
- Oh, Jesus!Copy !req
1668. This thing is awful!Copy !req
1669. Yeah!Copy !req
1670. Asshole! Fuckin' leave!
What the fuck?Copy !req
1671. God, I can't believe you, Sean!Copy !req
1672. When did you turn
into such a monster?Copy !req
1673. I am not a monster!Copy !req
1674. I'm an entrepreneur!Copy !req
1675. I think I'm out of ammo.Copy !req
1676. - Are you sure?
- Not at all.Copy !req
1677. Hey.Copy !req
1678. - Yeah.
I don't wanna do this.Copy !req
1679. - I'm a good guy, damn it!Copy !req
1680. - Shit.Copy !req
1681. Your boat's dead.Copy !req
1682. We're both out of ammo.
Let's just go backCopy !req
1683. and we can work
this whole thing out.Copy !req
1684. Tom!Copy !req
1685. Go, go!Copy !req
1686. Darcy, turn this boat
around right now.Copy !req
1687. No.Copy !req
1688. You're a piece of shit, Sean,
but I know you can't kill me.Copy !req
1689. You're right.Copy !req
1690. But I would love
to kill this guy.Copy !req
1691. You just keep messing
things up, man. This is on you.Copy !req
1692. I don't wanna do this.
I'm a good guy.Copy !req
1693. No, you're not.Copy !req
1694. All right, you're right.
I'm not.Copy !req
1695. Sean!Copy !req
1696. You were a pity invite!Copy !req
1697. - Shit!Copy !req
1698. Whoa! Whoa!Copy !req
1699. No! Fuck!Copy !req
1700. Is that a wad of loose hair?Copy !req
1701. Custom-made hair!Copy !req
1702. - Get down!Copy !req
1703. Oh, frick.Copy !req
1704. Hold on.Copy !req
1705. Oh, shit.Copy !req
1706. Holy shit.Copy !req
1707. So when I asked you beforeCopy !req
1708. if we could start over...Copy !req
1709. I don't wanna start over.Copy !req
1710. I wanna keep going.Copy !req
1711. Tom Fowler,Copy !req
1712. will you marry me?Copy !req
1713. Are you sure?Copy !req
1714. You're not scared?Copy !req
1715. I'm terrified.Copy !req
1716. Life is always gonna be chaotic.Copy !req
1717. But what I know for sure...Copy !req
1718. is that I wanna go through
all of it with you.Copy !req
1719. It's simple, really.Copy !req
1720. Just a plan with one step.Copy !req
1721. Still fits.Copy !req
1722. Stop. Be quiet.Copy !req
1723. Shit! Sorry! Sorry!Copy !req
1724. There was one firework leftCopy !req
1725. and I thought it would be fun,
and beautiful, and poignant,Copy !req
1726. - but it was absolutely not!Copy !req
1727. - Come here.Copy !req
1728. ♪ Oh-way-ohCopy !req
1729. ♪ Oh-way-ohCopy !req
1730. ♪ Way-oh-way-ohCopy !req
1731. ♪ Oh-way-ohCopy !req
1732. ♪ Way-oh-way-ohCopy !req
1733. Whoo!Copy !req
1734. Make sure the batteries work.Copy !req
1735. I'm so sorry that I invited
two con men to your wedding.Copy !req
1736. And I don't know if I'm
attracted to toxic people,Copy !req
1737. or toxic people
are attracted to me.Copy !req