- 1. I know, let's play Who Blinks First.
- 2. Loser has to do you-know-what.
- 3. Ready, set, go.
- 4. There are six steps.
First we state the question.
- 5. What's the matter with you two?
Clean up this mess.
- 6. Who won?
- 7. Oh, man.
- 8. This is my neighborhood.
- 9. Black Falls Community.
- 10. And these are some of my neighbors.
- 11. Go 10 paces west.
- 12. - One, two...
- That's east, you lunkhead.
- 13. Oh, okay.
- 14. - One...
- 15. Boys? Come look after your sister.
- 16. So much for our treasure hunt.
- 17. That baby is always
ruining our adventures.
- 18. Some of my neighbors are weird.
- 19. Okay, that'll do it.
Give me your foot.
- 20. Other foot.
- 21. Okay, inside. The germs are coming.
- 22. In fact, some of them
are not very neighborly at all.
- 23. And then, there's my house,
- 24. with its quaint, adorable, every day,
supportive and connected family.
- 25. Mega power point damage. Super effective.
- 26. Nano-blast. Major confusion.
- 27. Still playing with your imaginary friends?
- 28. No.
- 29. Freak.
- 30. I don't think I'm a freak.
- 31. Do you think I'm a freak?
- 32. Shut up. Who asked you?
- 33. And we should be connected.
- 34. After all, this is Black Box Unlimited
Worldwide Industries Incorporated...
- 35. Or Black Inc., for short.
- 36. You know them as the guys that make
the Black Box all-in-one gadget
- 37. that's sweeping the nation.
- 38. The whole operation
is smack-dab in the middle
- 39. of the Black Falls Community.
- 40. Development, to manufacturing,
- 41. All in one centralized location.
- 42. Hundreds and hundreds of employees
both live and work here,
- 43. including my parents.
- 44. I've got a garage full of gadgets.
- 45. Why do I need this one, Mr. Black?
- 46. What does the Black Box do?
- 47. Mike, the question is,
what doesn't it do?
- 48. It's not only the ultimate
- 49. keeping us connected
to each other and the world.
- 50. That's not all.
- 51. It's also a multimedia player,
a can opener, a dog groomer...
- 52. A vacuum cleaner, a baby monitor.
- 53. It's a shredder.
- 54. It calls the ambulance, if you fall down
in your bathroom and can't get up.
- 55. It removes rust, paint, pet odors.
Thousands of uses.
- 56. It's just about everything
you could ever possibly wish for.
- 57. In super grande, grande y el nino.
- 58. And this is the man
who owns it all, Mr. Black.
- 59. Mr. Carbon Black.
- 60. I hope that applause was meant for you,
my trusted partners,
- 61. in our quest to put the Black Box
- 62. in every hand and home
in the civilized world.
- 63. That is our goal.
- 64. Who can tell us how close
we are to achieving it?
- 65. That's right.
- 66. Not even close.
- 67. And why is that?
- 68. Because the Black Box
is facing fierce competition
- 69. from the Purple Pyramid,
- 70. the Silver Cylinder
and other such rip-offs.
- 71. - They're nowhere near as good.
- But, they're catching up.
- 72. And I can't have them
eating into our profits.
- 73. We need to leave them all...
- 74. in the dust!
- 75. Let them eat soot!
- 76. Sir?
- 77. Our focus groups have identified
our multiple uses as a drawback,
- 78. instead of a positive.
- 79. We're offering a toaster option,
- 80. when nowadays,
most people don't even eat bread.
- 81. - She's right.
- You're fired.
- 82. - So are you.
- 83. Do your spouses also work
for this company?
- 84. - Yes.
- They're fired as well.
- 85. Move out of your homes,
- 86. You think fear tactics and cutthroat
competition yield better results?
- 87. Well, it won't!
- 88. The new Version X upgrade
- 89. has to shut down the competition
once and for all.
- 90. Have them playing catch-up
for the next 10 years.
- 91. - Team A leader?
- Yes, sir?
- 92. - Team B leader?
- Right here.
- 93. I expect results and I expect them soon.
- 94. Live up to this challenge,
and you make partner.
- 95. Don't, and you and your families are out.
- 96. But we're married.
- 97. I don't see how your social life
is my concern.
- 98. So, if he loses,
then I get fired even if I win?
- 99. Well, no, that's preposterous.
- 100. But you just said,
if she doesn't make partner,
- 101. then she and her family are out,
and I'm her family.
- 102. Then, you better not lose.
- 103. Clearly, you two haven't figured out that
delightful little paradox called marriage.
- 104. Just get it done, whatever it takes.
- 105. And the answer to Black's problem...
- 106. Whatever it takes.
- 107. It literally fell from the sky.
- 108. No, no, no. Wait.
- 109. Is that what happened next?
- 110. See that wishing rock I'm holding?
- 111. It made things so confusing,
I can hardly remember the order of events.
- 112. Go forward a bit.
- 113. Yeah, that wasn't it either.
- 114. I'm probably going to have to tell you
the story completely out of order
- 115. in a series of shorts.
- 116. Let's start here.
- 117. Maybe we should go back
to when I first came into possession
- 118. of the rainbow-colored rock.
- 119. Oh, by the way,
- 120. my name is Toby, Toby Thompson.
- 121. I wanna give you an idea
of how I start every morning.
- 122. Maintaining a mouth like this
is no small task.
- 123. First, I use a special toothbrush
between the wires and my gums
- 124. to loosen any food particles
that may have lodged in my braces.
- 125. Upper teeth, positioning the bristles
at a 45-degree angle
- 126. brushing towards the gum
in a circular motion.
- 127. Inside, tops,
then repeat for the lower set.
- 128. Rinse, spit, mirror check.
- 129. Is this the reason people think
I'm a dork?
- 130. Of course not.
- 131. Braces are necessary,
when you have hillbilly teeth like mine.
- 132. No, no. Not done yet.
- 133. Now, I floss,
- 134. and use a special pick
to get under the brackets.
- 135. Rinse, spit, mirror check.
- 136. That's it. Time to eat breakfast.
- 137. Hey, guess what?
- 138. Toby's playing with
his imaginary friends again.
- 139. Am not.
- 140. Shouldn't you be already
moved out by now?
- 141. I mean, you are, like, 19 or 20.
- 142. Keep it down. I can't hear myself type.
- 143. What about your friend Nose?
Don't you play with him anymore?
- 144. Toby, you need friends.
- 145. Friends are very important.
- 146. Look at your dad and I.
We're the best of friends.
- 147. Oh, he has plenty of friends
at school, Mom.
- 148. They can't wait to see him.
- 149. In fact, I hear he has
his own welcoming committee.
- 150. That's just a nice way
of saying "bullies at school."
- 151. I know I'm not the only kid
in the world to get picked on
- 152. but my situation is unique in a few ways.
- 153. Hey, metal mouth.
Got another date with the trash can.
- 154. Hold on.
- 155. This is Cole Black, son of Mr. Black.
- 156. If you're thinking this is the worst kid
in the whole school, wait.
- 157. He's got a sister.
- 158. Helvetica Black, the leader of the pack.
- 159. Wimp.
- 160. Shall we do this?
- 161. I just realized something.
- 162. I know why you have them
beat up on me every day.
- 163. Because I hate you?
- 164. Because you love me.
- 165. Ooh.
- 166. That's right, isn't it?
- 167. We're both outsiders.
- 168. - We're both ignored.
- 169. We both have railroad tracks for braces.
- 170. We're lonely and boring
and always getting in trouble
- 171. because we have nothing else better to do.
- 172. So, you're head over heels in love with me
and that makes you furious.
- 173. Am I right?
- 174. How about...
- 175. no.
- 176. So I'm not a psychologist.
- 177. My science report today is about...
- 178. Science.
- 179. Oh, man, I just forgot it.
- 180. Um...
- 181. Oh, the scientific part of it,
which would be, um, science.
- 182. This fish is the only friend
I have in this dump.
- 183. How you doing?
- 184. Don't get me wrong,
it's a really good school.
- 185. It's just the people in it that suck.
- 186. In olden times,
they burned the scientists at the stake
- 187. and they called them witches,
- 188. because the townspeople
didn't understand science
- 189. and they thought it was magic.
- 190. Like using a magic rock
to make wishes come true.
- 191. - But I have a hypenothesis.
- 192. Loogie, you didn't do your homework,
- 193. Yeah, I did, but a crocodile ate it.
- 194. Really, I'm serious.
- 195. Next presenter.
- 196. Scientists who study wasps
- 197. have long observed aggressive behavior
in stronger females
- 198. towards the weaker males of the colony,
- 199. including threats of stinging and mauling.
- 200. But recently, they have discovered
- 201. that some females
will force the male headfirst
- 202. into an empty cell in the nest.
- 203. Behavior known as "male stuffing."
- 204. I'd like to demonstrate this phenomenon
using a trash can and a volunteer.
- 205. Toe Thompson?
- 206. - Hey, my name is Toby...
- 207. The Blinkers are going for the record.
- 208. They've been in a stare-off
since second period.
- 209. What's the record?
- 210. Longer than you have to live.
- 211. Candy bars?
- 212. Why do you let yourself
get bullied like that?
- 213. I don't really think I have a choice.
- 214. Sure you do.
Doesn't matter who their dad is.
- 215. What matters is who you are,
who you wanna be.
- 216. And you live your life like that?
- 217. Of course. Ow.
- 218. Come on, Loogie, you big dork.
We gotta get home.
- 219. Yeah, we're gonna try to get the baby
to give us lottery numbers.
- 220. Good luck with the whole
- 221. It shouldn't be this hard
to make friends.
- 222. I'm smart. I'm funny.
- 223. Like funny, ha-ha. Not funny weird.
- 224. So, what's wrong with me?
- 225. What's wrong with you?
- 226. Oh, buddy, where do I begin?
- 227. Run, run, run. Chase, chase, chase.
- 228. Get me a rock!
- 229. Get me a rock!
- 230. Where's my rock?
- 231. Run!
- 232. It's gonna be worse
for you tomorrow, freak.
- 233. Let's go!
- 234. Huh?
- 235. Make a wish.
- 236. Who said that?
- 237. Make a wish.
- 238. Must be hearing things.
- 239. Make a wish.
- 240. Make a wish!
- 241. Okay, okay.
- 242. I wish I had friends
- 243. as interesting and as unique as I am.
- 244. Friends.
- 245. Come on, guys. Get in there.
- 246. We sifted some flour already.
- 247. Let's talk about clarified butter,
- 248. because people get a little concerned
about the clarified butter.
- 249. You can make clarified butter at home...
- 250. Hi.
- 251. Why didn't you take the bus?
That's always our backup plan.
- 252. It's okay, I just felt like walking.
- 253. Sorry, son.
- 254. I texted your mom to pick you up
because my meeting ran late.
- 255. And I texted your dad back
saying that I couldn't go,
- 256. so that he should leave early anyway
and pick you up.
- 257. Your text messages must've gotten lost
in a sea of my text messages.
- 258. Same with yours... Mine.
- 259. Whatever.
- 260. Noodles?
- 261. It's okay, I'll serve myself.
- 262. Oh.
- 263. You having problems
with your Black Box too?
- 264. Yeah!
- 265. No.
- 266. Ugh! I just broke up with my boyfriend.
He thinks he's so mature, you know?
- 267. He's not. He's a child.
- 268. He is living with his parents
and isn't he, like, 23?
- 269. No.
- 270. What was that?
- 271. It's probably the ice maker...
- 272. making ice?
- 273. I'll go check on it.
- 274. Hmm.
- 275. Whoa!
- 276. Did you guys come from a gourmet planet?
- 277. Thanks, guys.
- 278. Team leaders!
- 279. Progress report.
- 280. Uh, I've implemented some new procedurals
that should maximize our value potential.
- 281. Well, I have highlighted
our asset management,
- 282. and jump-started...
- 283. our business paradigm.
- 284. One moment, please.
- 285. Sounds like a load to me.
- 286. - Initiate termination procedure?
- 287. Not yet.
- 288. I'll fire one of them at
the company costume ball.
- 289. That should be good for company morale.
- 290. Very well, then.
Keep up the good work, you two.
- 291. We are gonna get fired.
- 292. Nice.
- 293. Very nice.
- 294. Time to clean your room, sport.
- 295. Well...
- 296. Someone's looking for
a raise in their allowance.
- 297. Do you guys also clean teeth?
- 298. Toby. Where are my keys?
- 299. I know you're hiding them,
you little alien.
- 300. So, maybe I do keep messing up,
- 301. and maybe it is all my fault, but...
- 302. No, no. I broke up with you.
- 303. So, why are you calling me,
- 304. Hey, I wish you would
just stop talking about my mom...
- 305. Pretty.
- 306. and just go out
with me again, God.
- 307. Oh, okay.
- 308. Well, I wish you'd grow up. How about...
- 309. Whoa, that's huge!
- 310. My hand's huge!
My hand's huger than my foot!
- 311. I'm growing, I'm growing!
- 312. - Relax!
- I'm getting so big that...
- 313. Jeez.
- 314. You fixed all my teeth.
- 315. How strong are you guys?
- 316. I mean, if you really had
to be tough against a bully.
- 317. Because I might have a job for you
tomorrow at school.
- 318. I was hoping for something
a little more menacing.
- 319. I will show no mercy.
- 320. You're hired.
- 321. I have no time for you,
- 322. but now I'm suddenly
having to chase you down?
- 323. Look, I don't feel so good.
- 324. - I'm in the hospital.
- What do you mean, you're in the hospital?
- 325. It's your fault.
It's all your fault.
- 326. Oh, my fault? How is it my fault?
- 327. Well, they're building me
a bigger room as we speak.
- 328. They're making a bigger room for you?
What are you...
- 329. - Did you see what happened?
- 330. Oh, no! It's happening again!
- 331. Hello?
- 332. - Dad says, I have to give you a ride.
- It's okay, I just feel like walking.
- 333. You look different.
Did you bathe or something?
- 334. No.
- 335. Weirdo.
- 336. I'll take it from here, guys.
- 337. Can't have anybody seeing you...
- 338. Yet.
- 339. There he is!
- 340. Grab him!
- 341. How would you like
your braces up your nose?
- 342. Your braces.
- 343. Where are they?
- 344. Up my nose.
- 345. I put a few candy bars
in the front pocket.
- 346. My Black Box is set to music mode
in case you get hungry or bored.
- 347. Who are you talking to? Imaginary friends?
- 348. Rock and roll.
- 349. Heavy metal.
- 350. Not today.
- 351. Now, class, we continue our experiments
with combustible liquids.
- 352. So, everyone, please take your seats
and make sure to wear eye protection.
- 353. Now that we've isolated our agents,
- 354. we can make a hypothesis
as to the outcome.
- 355. Toby, can we stifle our inner
High School Musical
- 356. long enough to observe
this chemical reaction?
- 357. I have to get it exactly right.
- 358. Once we introduce the catalyst...
- 359. Give it back!
- 360. Mine, mine, mine.
Mine, mine, mine.
- 361. Mine!
- 362. Ow!
- 363. - Sorry.
- You will be.
- 364. Drop it!
- 365. Very perceptive, Toby.
- 366. We must be certain to use
the proper amount of catalyst.
- 367. In this case, one drop.
- 368. That's it.
- 369. You asked for it.
- 370. Say hello to my little friends.
- 371. Mr. Thompson, perhaps a visit
to the principal's office is in order,
- 372. possibly followed by one to
the school psychologist!
- 373. Break!
- 374. I think I broke a nail.
- 375. Me too.
- 376. I'm gonna squash you for this.
- 377. I know.
- 378. So, you don't know
who those little dudes were?
- 379. I thought they were my friends.
- 380. He wished for friends.
We should abduct him.
- 381. He is not evolved
enough for an autopsy.
- 382. He has friends all around.
He just doesn't know it yet.
- 383. Well, my alien buddies
didn't stick around.
- 384. I guess friends can't be
wished into existence.
- 385. You gotta work for them.
- 386. Ha. Ha.
- 387. Let's see you try it.
- 388. I was right.
- 389. You do like me.
- 390. Sometimes you gotta have enemies
to know who your friends are.
- 391. Mmm, toe jam.
- 392. And now that my space aliens
- 393. I have at least one new friend.
- 394. Loogie.
- 395. In fact, he's really the one
to blame for all this.
- 396. So let's go all the way back
to the real beginning
- 397. with Loogie, his brothers
- 398. and the storm that started it all.
- 399. I'm tired of video games
and I'm bored with TV.
- 400. Let's do something.
- 401. We've been through this before.
There's nothing else to do.
- 402. Come play video games with us.
We need a third person.
- 403. Let's go on an outdoor adventure.
- 404. There's a huge thunderstorm. Look.
- 405. The biggest rainstorm in Texas history.
- 406. Well, folks, it looks like we're...
- 407. That's strange.
It's raining everywhere else.
- 408. What the...
- 409. Outside! Bring the treasure map!
- 410. Wait a minute, guys.
- 411. What are we gonna do about Baby?
- 412. It's in baby monitor mode.
- 413. If she wakes up,
I'll hear it on my Black Box.
- 414. And we'll come back and give her a bottle.
- 415. Hmm.
- 416. I don't get it.
What happened to the storm?
- 417. Maybe it's global warming.
- 418. This sucks.
- 419. Even my brain feels hot.
- 420. I read once that yawning cools the brain.
- 421. Well, just keep talking
and I'll start yawning for sure.
- 422. Look at that!
- 423. You know what's at
the end of a rainbow, don't you?
- 424. - Skittles?
- No, a pot of gold!
- 425. Treasure!
- 426. Awesome!
- 427. Hey, guys, look.
It's the end of the rainbow.
- 428. No way.
- 429. Or the beginning of the rainbow.
- 430. What?
- 431. This rock wasn't here before.
- 432. What if the rain dropped
the rock from the sky,
- 433. and the sun comes out, hits the rock,
- 434. creating this prismatic separation
of the light from the sun,
- 435. thus, causing a rainbow.
- 436. Okay, Dr. Dumb Butt.
- 437. Feels powerful.
- 438. - Huh? What do you think it is?
- I wish I knew.
- 439. It's a wishing rock.
- 440. How do you know?
- 441. It just told me.
- 442. Okay, then, wish for something.
- 443. I wish for a never-ending supply
of chocolate bars.
- 444. Huh?
- 445. Well, there's one.
- 446. And another and another.
- 447. And two more. And another.
- 448. - Cool, a never-ending pocketful of candy.
- Do you realize what we have here?
- 449. - Lots of chocolate.
- No. This is...
- 450. - Hey.
- This is mine.
- 451. It was my idea to go on an adventure,
so the wishing rock belongs to me.
- 452. Don't make any wishes, Loogie.
We don't even know the rules yet.
- 453. I mean, that thing doesn't even
come with any instructions.
- 454. Yeah, no strategy guide,
cheat codes, or nothing.
- 455. I wish for the instructions.
- 456. We can't read all that.
- 457. I wish for the short version
of the instructions.
- 458. What's it say?
- 459. "Make a wish."
- 460. Then, I wish for a fortress.
- 461. Whoa!
- 462. With a canyon around it,
- 463. filled with man-eating crocodiles
and venomous snakes
- 464. to protect the Rainbow Rock from thieves.
- 465. Whoa!
- 466. How about putting an end
to global warming?
- 467. World hunger?
- 468. - Wish for world peace.
- 469. Let me finish my canyon of doom first.
People would kill for this.
- 470. Not if there's world peace!
- 471. I was about to wish for superpowers!
- 472. I think one of us has to go get it.
- 473. Well, you wanted
an adventure, didn't you?
- 474. What'd you wish for again?
- 475. Snakes? Crocodiles?
- 476. I think that's all.
- 477. You don't like my canyon?
- 478. Does it need more doom?
- 479. Hey, look! It's the rock.
- 480. Finally.
- 481. Loogie!
- 482. - Almost got it.
- No, it's almost got you.
- 483. What?
- 484. Come on!
- 485. Run, Laser, run!
- 486. Remind me
to wish for something big!
- 487. - What for?
- So I can smack you with it!
- 488. What do I do?
- 489. If it was a video game,
you'd go get the rock.
- 490. - Good idea.
- But it's not a video game!
- 491. Loogie!
- 492. I wish the snakes would disappear.
- 493. - Did he chew?
- 494. But he ate my homework.
- 495. And I think I felt him make a wish.
- 496. What would a crocodile
possibly wish for?
- 497. He's already strong, fast...
- 498. And he can run on all four legs.
- 499. Guys, I think I know what he wished for.
- 500. Run!
- 501. - Oh, no! We'll never make it!
- Yes, we will.
- 502. Guys, keep running.
- 503. Get us out of here.
- 504. I wish something would take us away.
- 505. A pterodactyl?
Couldn't you have been more specific?
- 506. Hey, I didn't know.
- 507. You're always wishing for wrong stuff.
- 508. Thanks a lot, Loogie.
- 509. At least, we're safe up here.
- 510. I don't get it.
How did they climb out of the canyon?
- 511. Holy peanut-butter cups.
- 512. - Great, now the baby's crying.
- We'd better get back.
- 513. Wish us home.
- 514. If I wish for superpowers,
I could get them to fall off.
- 515. Hurry it up, whatever you do.
- 516. I wish I had telephonesis.
- 517. Telekinesis, you dummy!
- 518. I wish I had telekinesis.
- 519. Okay.
- 520. We have a castle, telekinesis
and a pterodactyl.
- 521. Now what?
- 522. I don't know.
- 523. Wish for a hat?
- 524. Gotta think about this more carefully.
- 525. I wish we could just go back home
and start over.
- 526. It's too dangerous to have around.
- 527. We gotta keep it out of the wrong hands.
- 528. Your hands are the wrong hands.
- 529. Change your head back, Loogie.
- 530. - This has certain advantages.
- What advantages?
- 531. Hello?
- 532. All right, I wish the phone was gone.
- 533. Loogie, we need to be smart about this.
- 534. Then, that's the answer.
- 535. - Ready?
- 536. I wish one of us was super smart.
- 537. It is I.
- 538. My modes of transference
are beyond yours now.
- 539. I don't need words to communicate.
- 540. Only thoughts.
- 541. You're hearing me with your minds.
- 542. You're right.
- 543. I wish for a catapult.
- 544. - Just think of all the things we could do.
- Too risky.
- 545. - We could...
- Too dangerous.
- 546. - How about...
- Too ridiculous.
- 547. Although, we did have ourselves
quite the adventure there, didn't we?
- 548. We could take care of
that world-peace problem.
- 549. - Now, you're talking.
- 550. My calculations show you would've
figured out a way to screw it up.
- 551. Who, us?
- 552. Yes.
- 553. So, maybe the baby
was smart to get rid of it.
- 554. But it didn't really matter
because the rock kept coming back.
- 555. Get me a rock!
- 556. - Where's my rock?
- 557. I'm sorry.
- 558. I'm still not getting the order
of this story correctly.
- 559. So I'm gonna jump on over to this short,
- 560. with that weird kid
I was telling you about.
- 561. A kid everyone calls "Nose."
- 562. Nose and I were in school together.
We were almost friends.
- 563. Until his father, Dr. Noseworthy,
the top scientist for Black Inc.
- 564. started his top-secret research
- 565. Unfortunately, Dr. Noseworthy
was terrified of germs.
- 566. And one day, he simply flipped out.
- 567. So much so that he and his son, Nose,
- 568. wrapped their house in plastic
and only came out wearing full bio suits.
- 569. And that's just how things were,
a little weird.
- 570. But like everything else in Black Falls,
- 571. about to get a little weirder.
- 572. Welcome to the Noseworthy home.
- 573. You will be subjected to
a decontamination process
- 574. before entering our germ-free environment.
- 575. You are now receiving
a series of ion blasts
- 576. to remove any contaminants
from the surface of your body.
- 577. Germs invade our bodies
to steal the energy we produce,
- 578. leaving behind harmful toxins that can
cause runny noses, fevers, headaches,
- 579. chicken pox, measles, cavities,
diarrhea, necrotizing fasciitis
- 580. and in some cases, death.
- 581. The decontamination process
is now complete.
- 582. You may enter.
- 583. And welcome.
- 584. They do not pay me enough for this.
- 585. Dad?
- 586. Didn't I tell you,
don't sneak up on me in here.
- 587. Sorry, my tutor is here.
- 588. I was just looking for
your scientific calculator.
- 589. Mine's broken.
- 590. Well, just use your Black Box.
- 591. Just choose the scientific calculator
function in the menu.
- 592. It's right next to the cheese grater.
- 593. Mine's dead.
I just think there's too many features.
- 594. The batteries won't hold a charge
for more than a few minutes.
- 595. Tell me something I don't know.
- 596. But let me ask you something.
Have you been keeping yourself clean?
- 597. Huh?
- 598. - Of course.
- Oh, boy.
- 599. If you could see what I can see.
- 600. Oh, my goodness.
- 601. Yeah.
- 602. All right, I can't have
any more interruptions today.
- 603. I've got to readjust the cell regulator.
- 604. I tried recalibrating
the mitochondrial synthesizer,
- 605. but I just can't get it to live
in an extracellular environment.
- 606. And on top of it all...
- 607. What are you do...
How many times do I have to tell you?
- 608. Don't pick your nose.
- 609. It is completely unsanitary.
- 610. If your nose is full,
- 611. you go into the bathroom
- 612. and you clean it out
with antiseptic wipes.
- 613. But... Booger!
- 614. Boogers are like fecal material.
- 615. Your body is trying to get rid of it.
- 616. It pushes it up, up, up, out,
and then pop.
- 617. But what do you do?
You put it back in your mouth.
- 618. Back into the system.
And it has to start all over again.
- 619. I'm sorry.
- 620. Mankind has been evolving
too many millennia for you to reingest...
- 621. Okay!
- 622. Go wash your hands
with antibacterial soap.
- 623. - And make sure you use the...
- Antiseptic wipes?
- 624. Yes, the wipes. And...
- 625. I'm... I'm gonna go take a nap.
- 626. Excuse you.
- 627. How can you be late to school
when it's in your own house?
- 628. I was getting my calculator.
- 629. - What's that?
- It's just some kind of rock.
- 630. You can have it if you want.
It's been decontaminated.
- 631. Okay, well, today we're gonna do
- 632. - What's it like out there today?
- Don't you look out the window?
- 633. I have security video screens,
- 634. but they don't really show
the color of the sky.
- 635. Um, you know,
you could just go outside.
- 636. I mean, a little fresh air won't kill you.
- 637. Are you crazy?
- 638. So-called fresh air
is loaded with pollutants.
- 639. On top of that,
you've got the ozone washed in UV,
- 640. allergens and all kinds of impurities.
- 641. At least, that's what Dad says.
- 642. And I agree.
- 643. What's up with your dad?
- 644. Stress. Something about
a, uh, mitochondrial relay.
- 645. I just wish that his inventions worked
the way they were supposed to.
- 646. What's he doing here?
- 647. Nose!
- 648. You haven't come to visit me
in almost a year.
- 649. I should break your arms.
- 650. But it looks like someone beat me to it.
What do you want?
- 651. Ah, I'm sorry about that,
but I've lost something very important.
- 652. And it looks like it came
in your direction.
- 653. It's not a good time.
- 654. It's a rock.
It looks like a rainbow and it's this big.
- 655. How would I have it?
I never leave this place.
- 656. Gotta go, bye.
- 657. Ugh, he's a virus. Okay, back to work.
- 658. I know he's your brother and all, but...
- 659. Well, he's been my personal parasite
since he wiggled out of the womb.
- 660. What was that?
- 661. Dad's breaking things in the lab again.
Let me go check on him.
- 662. Help me up.
- 663. What are you doing?
He said he didn't have it.
- 664. Well, he must've been lying.
How can you tell?
- 665. - Because his lips were moving.
- Are you crazy?
- 666. We have to get that rock back,
or else nothing will ever be right again.
- 667. No, no, no, no, no!
You'll contaminate my house.
- 668. Dad?
- 669. What...
- 670. are contaminators doing in my ho...
- 671. You? You gave me this headache.
- 672. You and that rock
almost ruined last night.
- 673. Here.
- 674. Wipe yourselves down, right now.
Immediately. Turn around.
- 675. Give me your foot.
Oh, look at that. Filthy.
- 676. Toby, what are you doing here?
You want me to lose my job?
- 677. Well, hello, I'm Loogie.
- 678. - There's something in there.
- What is that rock doing in my house?
- 679. Nose, give me that rock now.
- 680. No, no, no, out of the house.
- 681. Get it out of here.
- 682. Get it out, out, out. Move it.
- 683. That's the second time
that rock's been eaten.
- 684. What is that thing?
- 685. My booger.
- 686. You pulled that out of your nose?
- 687. Ew.
- 688. I've told you a million times
not to pick your nose.
- 689. See what happens?
- 690. Your invention works. My wish came true.
- 691. It does, doesn't it?
- 692. But wait a minute.
- 693. It must've tripped the chromosomal relay
on the cell regulator,
- 694. but that means...
- 695. it's gotta keep feeding to stay intact.
- 696. So basically,
- 697. all those years you told me
not to eat my boogers?
- 698. Yes, now your booger
is trying to eat you.
- 699. Decontamination chamber! Run!
- 700. Wait! We gotta go back for the rock!
- 701. Forget it, we've lost this round.
- 702. Son, you get them out of here.
- 703. I've gotta go back for
the cellular devolumizer.
- 704. One at a time. One at a time.
- 705. Ladies first.
- 706. You are now leaving the safe,
sterile environment of our home.
- 707. Well, hello, again.
- 708. You're next.
- 709. I... I gotta get the rock!
- 710. Nose, help him. Do something.
He's gonna die. Help Toe.
- 711. Think, think, think.
- 712. Your booger's warm.
- 713. If you eat my friend,
- 714. I'll eat yours.
- 715. Believe me, he will.
- 716. Uh-huh.
- 717. Uh...
- 718. Come on.
- 719. Come on, Nose! What are you waiting for?
- 720. I haven't been outside in years.
- 721. Nose!
- 722. I know, I know, but I'm just not ready!
- 723. Okay, now I'm ready!
- 724. Dad!
- 725. Are you okay?
- 726. He's not breathing.
- 727. - Breathe, Nose, breathe!
- It's okay, Nose.
- 728. If a giant booger monster
couldn't kill you,
- 729. what's a breath of fresh air gonna do?
- 730. Breathe!
- 731. I can breathe! I did it!
- 732. It was nice seeing you, Nose.
- 733. I promise I'll call you!
- 734. Dad, can you believe it?
- 735. No, I can't.
This is gonna make a great specimen.
- 736. I mean us. We're outside. We're okay.
- 737. You're right, I didn't explode.
- 738. Huh. I'm gonna have to rethink
my theory of instant exposure.
- 739. But what do you have to say about this?
- 740. Bad booger.
- 741. Hey.
- 742. I mean, no more picking and from now on...
- 743. Antiseptic wipes.
- 744. Good.
- 745. I got ahead of myself again.
- 746. But I just remembered how the rock
changed my mom and dad.
- 747. Boy, did it ever.
- 748. Your parents are coming
to the costume party
- 749. at my dad's house tonight.
- 750. - I know.
- You coming too?
- 751. No.
- 752. - Good.
- 753. Wait!
- 754. - Have you told them about me?
- What would I tell them?
- 755. Mom, Dad, there's a girl at my school
who stuffs me in a trash can every day.
- 756. - You know, the one who broke my arms.
- That's funny.
- 757. Don't come over
and don't say anything about me.
- 758. I won't say anything about you.
- 759. Oh, you're texting me hugs and kisses.
- 760. Why don't you just kiss me?
We're in the same room together.
- 761. Why are you texting me?
What happened to two people talking?
- 762. Well, maybe this doesn't apply to Team B,
- 763. but Team A lives in a fast-paced,
- 764. And these gadgets,
made by the company we work for,
- 765. are supposed to keep us connected.
- 766. But we're disconnected.
- 767. Don't you see?
- 768. It needs to work better.
Or we need to work better.
- 769. We don't even know
who our son's girlfriend is.
- 770. So we just spy on him.
- 771. That's a new feature I'm adding.
- 772. Spy on your kids.
I'll have an answer in no time.
- 773. That's not a relationship.
- 774. - You want me to put it away?
- No, I didn't say that.
- 775. I like my phone, e-mail, text messages,
movies, music, ham radio.
- 776. It's the world at my fingertips, I just...
- 777. It's just, I...
- 778. I've got mail.
- 779. - Don't open that.
- Don't get that.
- 780. I really have to take this.
I really have to get this.
- 781. See, you proved my point.
- 782. I still think we ought to be closer.
- 783. Mom?
- 784. - What are you doing?
- 785. I was just...
- 786. I was just looking for my compact.
- 787. What do you think?
- 788. "Miss Communication." Get it?
- 789. It fits.
- 790. We'll be home after bedtime.
Take it easy on your sister.
- 791. You look stupid.
- 792. So do you.
- 793. What did I tell you two?
That's not how you treat people.
- 794. Courtesy, consideration, respect.
- 795. You know it. Now do it.
- 796. Yes, Dad.
- 797. Stop calling me!
- 798. I never call you.
- 799. Loogie?
- 800. I figured out where
your flying friends came from.
- 801. It was a rock, a rainbow-colored rock.
- 802. You make a wish and then it comes true.
- 803. You must have found it. Where is it?
- 804. - Mom.
- 805. I'm not your mom.
- 806. I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
- 807. But you growing is not important, okay?
- 808. I don't care how big your feet are now.
- 809. Remember our honeymoon?
- 810. I gotta take this call.
- 811. If I can get this guy on board,
I can make all our wishes come true.
- 812. - Tulum.
- 813. We could go back there, you know.
- 814. There's no phones, no emails,
no text messaging, no Black Box.
- 815. It's just the two of us.
- 816. We did yoga together.
We did yoga together. We had bala...
- 817. Call dropped. Stupid phone feature.
- 818. Eh, he'll call back.
- 819. - A little help up here, pal.
- 820. I just wish we were closer.
- 821. Right.
- 822. - Really close.
- 823. What just happened?
- 824. - We can't go in there looking like this!
- Of course we can't!
- 825. How is Mr. Black gonna take me seriously
when I'm wearing your dress?
- 826. Someone's coming!
- 827. Shh!
- 828. Helvetica, someone just rang
the doorbell and ran off.
- 829. Are you making enemies again?
- 830. Well, you see, there's this boy...
- 831. If they come back, let me handle it.
Not you. Understood?
- 832. - Change us back.
- I didn't do this.
- 833. You said you wanted us to be closer
and then, zap, we were. Too close.
- 834. Now change us back.
- 835. I want us to be back the way we were too.
- 836. You must have done something wrong.
Typical B-Team work.
- 837. - Somebody's trying to teach us a lesson.
- About what, anatomy?
- 838. That's me. That's my guy.
- 839. Let it go to voicemail,
for crying out loud.
- 840. I've been waiting for this call all night.
- 841. What you looking for?
- 842. Ow!
- 843. What did you do that one for?
- 844. I warned you to stay away, Toe Thompson!
- 845. - My name is Toby!
- 846. Why all the shouting?
- 847. Oh, Dad, this is Toe. I mean, Toby.
- 848. He was just coming by
to bring me my math homework.
- 849. Please accept my apologies, young man.
- 850. My daughter has the unfortunate habit of
bringing unwanted attention upon herself.
- 851. - Dad.
- 852. Take him inside,
put some ice on his head.
- 853. We'll talk about this later.
- 854. Let's go, Hel.
- 855. Now stay still.
- 856. What are you doing here?
- 857. I came here to get my mom's purse.
- 858. - Thanks for the ice. Bye.
- Wait. Don't go.
- 859. Let go of the wishing rock.
- 860. - Wishing rock? How does it work?
- I said fishing rock.
- 861. Ha, ha. Two points.
- 862. You stupid excuse for a brother.
- 863. I wish you were
a stupid little dung beetle.
- 864. Did you see that?
- 865. Wow.
- 866. - We have to go get that rock.
- And how are we gonna do that?
- 867. Mr. And Mrs. Thompson,
- 868. Pity we aren't giving out prizes. Come in.
- 869. Wait a minute.
- 870. - Aren't you on opposing teams?
- 871. But I'm still his better half, so...
- 872. "Miscommunication."
- 873. Our theme for the night.
- 874. If you would please join the others,
I'll be addressing everyone shortly.
- 875. So far, so good.
Nobody's really noticed us.
- 876. Just don't trip.
- 877. I'm gonna change you back.
- 878. Just stay here so you don't get squished
and quit your whining.
- 879. Give me my rock back.
- 880. My brother's a bug.
- 881. So, what's new?
- 882. The rock's out there somewhere.
- 883. Stay here, while I go get it.
- 884. Nope, we go together. Like Siamese twins.
- 885. I'll need everyone's attention.
- 886. The fate of Version X of the Black Box
lies in the hands of two teams.
- 887. I made a promise to myself,
and more importantly the world,
- 888. that I would never release an upgrade
- 889. that didn't meet our
highest standards of "wow."
- 890. The winning team will be
showered with accolades,
- 891. and the losers get a one-way ticket
to Canned City.
- 892. - I'll need the representatives...
- That's us.
- 893. from Team A and Team B
to step up here now.
- 894. Uh, can you stand a little further apart?
- 895. We can't very well fire just one of you
if you're standing together as one.
- 896. Keep your friends close,
but your enemies closer, eh?
- 897. Now that's the honest
- 898. I'm talking about.
- 899. I wish each and every one of you
had that same go-for-the-throat spirit.
- 900. What are you doing?
- 901. What's happening?
- 902. Have you all gone mad?
- 903. - Ah! My back is going out.
- No, your back is not going out.
- 904. Thompson! Do you know what's happening?
- 905. I believe Team A has discovered
the solution to the upgrade problem.
- 906. That's the solution to our little problem,
- 907. We've got the rock now, Dad.
- 908. We can have anything we want.
Just wish for it.
- 909. This is all your doing,
isn't it, young lady?
- 910. No, Dad, just listen.
- 911. We're here to talk about a box!
A Black Box, not a round colorful rock.
- 912. This box needs to be able
to do everything.
- 913. That's what this does.
- 914. That's the last straw.
Helvetica, go to your room.
- 915. Don't ever come out!
- 916. No! I wish you would just
listen to me for a change.
- 917. I wish these casts were off.
- 918. Not his, just mine.
- 919. Shh!
- 920. I wish for a rocket bike.
- 921. I know what it's like to feel
that no one's listening to you.
- 922. That no one's your friend.
- 923. But, Helvetica, I'm your friend.
- 924. I don't need friends.
- 925. See you, stooges.
- 926. We're not riding that.
- 927. See? Teamwork. Togetherness.
- 928. We're connecting.
- 929. Would you look at that?
- 930. - Turn left.
- My left or your left?
- 931. It's the same thing, isn't it?
- 932. Whoa...
- 933. We are so not connected.
- 934. I wish you were all back to normal!
- 935. Well, obviously someone
spiked the Kool-Aid.
- 936. You'll remember none of this
in the morning.
- 937. Give me that rock back.
- 938. Or I'll break every other
bone in your body.
- 939. You wish.
- 940. Where is that funny little stone of yours?
- 941. That idiot threw it
- 942. clear over there somewhere.
- 943. Did he?
- 944. I guess we're back to
our old separate selves.
- 945. We don't have to be.
- 946. - That rock could have gotten one of us...
- We don't need the rock or that.
- 947. We just have to go to Mr. Black
and tell him no competing teams.
- 948. We are not gonna work
against each other anymore.
- 949. Two heads are better than one.
- 950. Strike a balance?
- 951. Connected?
- 952. Completely.
- 953. Don't get that.
- 954. I won't.
- 955. All right, you get the idea.
- 956. They learned their lesson
and decided that from now on,
- 957. they would truly stand together.
- 958. They were gonna need it
where they were headed.
- 959. We all were.
- 960. Breathe!
- 961. It was nice seeing you, Nose.
- 962. I promise I'll call you!
- 963. I can't believe we got the rock.
- 964. I know.
What should we wish for first?
- 965. First, I wish these casts were off.
- 966. The rock's potential is bigger than us.
- 967. We gotta be careful and start by...
- 968. Handing it over to me.
- 969. Cole, I think we're gonna
need another trash can.
- 970. It must be Christmas.
- 971. - Hey, she has a rock just like ours.
- That is ours, you dummy.
- 972. - Hey, guys.
- Look who it is.
- 973. Everybody's favorite
- 974. What are you doing outside, bubble boy?
- 975. Yeah, what did you wish for, guts?
- 976. No, he came out on his own.
- 977. He didn't need the rock. Ew.
- 978. That's right, I'm not afraid
of anything anymore.
- 979. Not even you, Typeface.
- 980. Put the rock on the ground and step away.
- 981. Dad, what are you doing?
- 982. - Grab the rock and make a wish.
- It's all for the best, Helvetica.
- 983. Uh-uh, my wishes keep backfiring.
You do it.
- 984. Get it, Helvetica! Do whatever it takes!
- 985. - I thought you told me not to be a bully.
- It's not bullying, if you win.
- 986. Oh, I hate being told what to do.
- 987. Should we follow them, sir?
- 988. I know where they're going.
- 989. I wish... I wish...
- 990. I wish I could fly!
- 991. I got it!
- 992. Where could he be?
- 993. He'll be fine, I'm sure he's just out
playing with his new friends.
- 994. You'll never get it.
It's my rock.
- 995. No, it's not.
Give it to me.
- 996. I wish for really long arms.
- 997. I wish to disappear.
- 998. She's invisible.
- 999. Get it. Run. Hurry up.
- 1000. Reverse invisibility,
and arms back to normal.
- 1001. You know, I always did like you, Laser.
- 1002. Really?
- 1003. Liked.
- 1004. Curbside delivery.
- 1005. Uh, gather round.
- 1006. You'll wanna hear this.
- 1007. You're all fired.
- 1008. This small stone is
the ultimate Black Box,
- 1009. the only upgrade we'll ever need.
- 1010. Wait, why even bother?
- 1011. I could just forget about
the business altogether
- 1012. and simply wish for a giant pile of money.
- 1013. You see, black becomes colorful,
- 1014. square becomes round
and you become obsolete!
- 1015. I've got all I need right here.
- 1016. But what about me, Dad?
- 1017. Oh, well, you, okay.
You can come too, and you too, Cole.
- 1018. Come on, Dad, you must be joking.
- 1019. My girl, I wish I were.
- 1020. Wish me down.
I'm rehiring you at double your salary.
- 1021. I don't need your money, Mr. Black.
I've got the rock.
- 1022. The adults are gonna wreck
this place for sure.
- 1023. We gotta stop them.
- 1024. - Right.
- 1025. Stay back! Stay back!
- 1026. I wish I were...
- 1027. An Oscar Mayer wiener!
- 1028. You!
I'll give you $10 if you help me down.
- 1029. - All right.
- 1030. John?
- 1031. Hey, you got your wish.
- 1032. I'm all grown up.
- 1033. Well, hello, I'm Loogie.
- 1034. Also known as...
- 1035. Enough.
- 1036. I wish that I were the most powerful thing
in the entire world.
- 1037. We have to take turns
using the rock to stop him.
- 1038. - Cole, he's our dad, so you and me first.
- 1039. He needs our help.
He's become drunk with power.
- 1040. I wish I were a giant wasp.
- 1041. Male stuffing!
- 1042. I wish I was a giant...
- 1043. Stuff, stuff, stuff.
- 1044. Missed me. Missed me.
- 1045. I'll teach you to listen
to your Helvetica.
- 1046. Dung beetle?
- 1047. All right, Dad, here I come.
- 1048. How dare you
attack your father?
- 1049. You blinked!
- 1050. Thirty-five hours, 15 minutes
and 20 seconds,
- 1051. and you blinked!
- 1052. You lose, loser!
- 1053. We need backup.
I wish for my alien friends.
- 1054. I wish for my crocodile army.
- 1055. There's a baby out there.
- 1056. Stop.
- 1057. You've made the rock angry.
- 1058. What?
- 1059. It has given life
to your petty desires,
- 1060. but you continue to break its laws.
- 1061. Why are we listening to a baby?
- 1062. In your greedy hands,
it could mean the end of the world,
- 1063. even the end of the universe.
- 1064. What's wrong?
- 1065. The rock grows weary.
- 1066. It cannot sustain
the strain on its powers.
- 1067. Whoa, whoa!
- 1068. We have to get rid of the rock,
or it will destroy us all.
- 1069. - How?
- I've got it.
- 1070. It's something I've been working on
for the latest upgrade
- 1071. - to extend Black Box battery life.
- 1072. It's germs.
- 1073. "Germs"?
- 1074. Dip your hands in.
- 1075. Oh, my gosh.
Ugh, it's warm.
- 1076. It collects and magnifies the energy
- 1077. from the mitochondria
in every cell in your body.
- 1078. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
- 1079. Hold hands.
- 1080. Ew!
- 1081. Our combined energy
will get rid of the rock.
- 1082. But we must stand together, as one.
- 1083. We know we have disrespected you.
- 1084. Leave us now,
and we shall pick up the pieces,
- 1085. learning from our mistakes.
- 1086. I need a new diaper.
- 1087. Over there!
- 1088. The rainbow's end.
- 1089. Not the end, the beginning.
- 1090. For someone else to find.
- 1091. Hopefully, they'll use it
wiser than we did.
- 1092. Mr. Black, we just wanna say both
Team A and Team B will help rebuild.
- 1093. But not as separate entities.
- 1094. The power is in all of us.
- 1095. And if we work together,
we can move mountains.
- 1096. Or really big rocks.
- 1097. Agreed.
- 1098. Sweet muscles.
- 1099. That's not what I had in mind.
- 1100. Is this your special friend?
- 1101. I'm Helvetica.
- 1102. Nice to meet you.
- 1103. So we're friends.
- 1104. Let's settle for no longer enemies.
- 1105. So that's pretty much
how that week went.
- 1106. I made some new friends.
- 1107. Loogie and his brothers got
the adventure of their young lives.
- 1108. And my parents finally came together.
- 1109. For the first time, really.
- 1110. Or at least that's how they put it.
- 1111. Nose and his dad teamed up
and continued working on experiments
- 1112. on personal hygiene.
- 1113. Which I'm indebted to you for.
- 1114. My dad didn't make partner,
but he and Mr. Black became friends.
- 1115. Not best friends, but good friends.
- 1116. Seeing as how they might
get to be family someday.
- 1117. Um, I didn't agree to that.
- 1118. Oh, you will. Just wait.
- 1119. The Black Box was never perfected.
- 1120. In fact, Mr. Black initiated
a top-to-bottom redesign.
- 1121. He thought he should do something
to change the world for the better,
- 1122. so he went green.
- 1123. But it could never do
what the Rainbow Rock could do.
- 1124. And even if it could,
would we really want it?
- 1125. Sometimes wishing does make it so.
- 1126. But be sure you're wishing for
something worth wishing for.
- 1127. I wish we were
in a Hollywood movie.
- 1128. Yeah.
Like that's gonna happen.
- 1129. I wish I had telekinesis!
- 1130. Hey,
- 1131. this song that's playing right now
is something I wrote.
- 1132. I got my wish.