Shortcomings (2023)

1. Mrs. Wong,

2. thank you for inquiring about the availability

3. of our penthouse suite.

4. I've reviewed your application, and unfortunately,

5. me no likey.

6. Take a guess.

7. Yes.

8. Thank you.

9. I'd like to inform you that my husband

10. just purchased this building.

11. An e-mail confirming said purchase should be arriving

12. in your inbox presently.

13. I trust you'll see that everything is in order.

14. Yes, Mrs. Wong. Now, if you wouldn't mind,

15. could you please attend to the trash outside?

16. Right away.

17. Happy birthday, Mrs. Wong.

18. I thought you said money can't buy happiness.

19. Well, you be the judge of that.

20. Hey, guys. Miko! That was amazing.

21. Miko! Ramon, hey!

22. Hey! Great job.

23. Oh, good. Thank you.

24. Um, everyone, I want you to meet

25. one of our incredible co-organizers, Miko Higashi.

26. Hi, guys. Hi.

27. Oh, and this is my boyfriend, Ben.

28. Oh, Miko told me you're a filmmaker. What'd you think?

29. I thought it was a real event.

30. Agreed.

31. I can't believe the studio let us screen it.

32. Wasn't that amazing?

33. - Yes. - Miko! Congratulations.

34. Insane. Hi, how are you?

35. Look, bruh, I know it's a little glossy.

36. But it's ours, right?

37. That's us, baby, right?

38. So, what did you think?

39. Well, Miss Higashi,

40. after some careful consideration of the film,

41. I regret to inform you that me no likey.

42. Okay. Okay, I know, I know.

43. As a community, we've waited a long time

44. to see ourselves reflected in a—

45. In a garish, mainstream rom-com

46. that glorifies the capitalistic fantasy of vindication

47. through wealth and materialism? Okay!

48. I thought you might be able to see, like,

49. beyond your own snobby tastes.

50. Have we just met? Ha!

51. Look, the reviews have been incredible,

52. it's gonna be a massive hit, and that's what makes it great.

53. Wow. Heh.

54. Oh, my God. It's a game changer, okay?

55. Now, when you or some other Asian American filmmaker

56. wants to make a movie that's more your style,

57. something cooler or more artsy or whatever,

58. and they're suddenly able to get funding,

59. they should get down on their knees

60. and bow down to that garish mainstream hit

61. that cleared the way for them.

62. There wasn't a real character in the movie.

63. - What's a real character? - A human being, with flaws.

64. - Okay, so like you? - Yes, like me!

65. I'm not talking about you or the festival.

66. I'm just expressing my opinion

67. about this particular movie that you asked for.

68. You could've at least faked it with Ramon.

69. The way you reacted when he asked us how we liked it?

70. God, Ben, I wanted to die.

71. What? I told him the truth.

72. What's wrong with that? Who are you to criticize?

73. What's that supposed to mean?

74. I'm sorry. That's not—

75. Look, if you didn't like the movie, it's fine.

76. I don't understand why you have to be—

77. Because it's depressing to see

78. a room full of people lose their minds

79. over a movie just because of representation or whatever.

80. How about the possibility they also just really enjoyed it?

81. That would be even more depressing.

82. You are too much.

83. Or maybe I'm just right, Miko. Well, you're not.

84. I'm still having, like, aftershock cringes.

85. Really? I heard it was great.

86. The entire theater was going insane.

87. I thought I was at a BTS concert.

88. Well, I'm sure Miko really appreciated

89. your in-depth critique.

90. In the six years we've been together,

91. she wasn't into any of this shit,

92. this political, community, whatever.

93. I got a turkey club and a tofu scrambled crepe.

94. That's me. That's disgusting.

95. I'm trying. I like your hair, the bangs.

96. Really? Eclectic.

97. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to get drunk

98. and cut it myself last night.

99. I should go get it fixed. No, no way!

100. Could I—? Maybe you can cut my hair.

101. I'm overdue for a trim. Sorry, can I get some—?

102. We could get drunk first if— Ketchup!

103. Can I get some ketchup, please?

104. Sure. I'll be right back with that.

105. Let me know if you need anything else.

106. I will.

107. You bet.

108. So she got more politically-minded.

109. I don't get why it's an affront to you. It's not.

110. She's just doing it because it's trendy.

111. You'd change your tune if you

112. suddenly woke up in Alabama one day.

113. I was practically the only non-white person

114. in my entire high school.

115. I showed you the yearbook.

116. It was like a Mormon modeling agency.

117. You never felt discriminated against?

118. I did, but not because I was Asian.

119. Because of your inherent bad personality.

120. Exactly. I fucking earned that outcast status.

121. Mm! Remember that one guy

122. from our freshman dorms who thought everyone was racist?

123. You're like the opposite of him.

124. Yeah. Thanks. Here you are.

125. God, you're predictable.

126. Hey, it's getting late.

127. Yeah.

128. Do you wanna go to bed soon?

129. I'm not really tired yet. I slept in today.

130. Well, you know, we don't have to go to sleep right away.

131. Yeah, I'll be in in a bit.

132. I just have a couple more discs I wanna check out.

133. Okay.

134. Did you hear the theory that Snowpiercer

135. is a sequel to Willy Wonka?

136. I know. I saw the Reddit. You saw that?

137. It was crazy. Ed Harris is supposed to be Charlie.

138. Hi. Hi.

139. Hey.

140. I'm here to see about the job.

141. Oh. Oh.

142. Cool. Cool.

143. Do you have a-a boss or someone I can talk to?

144. He's upstairs.

145. Hello? Yeah?

146. Um, the guys downstairs said to talk to you about the job.

147. Yeah. Yeah. Have a seat.

148. How'd that date go? Not good.

149. Did she see your dick?

150. Not yet. I wanna tell her about it first.

151. they're on the other side of the concession stand.

152. - Any time you— - Question!

153. What are you into?

154. Uh— Hi, again. What—?

155. That is Gene, and that's Lamont.

156. How are you? Guys, this is Autumn.

157. She's starting this weekend, so please—

158. Movie-wise, what are you into, baby?

159. Don't call her "baby."

160. I'm into genre auteurs.

161. In other words, singular filmmakers who—

162. He's a Christopher Nolan fan, is what he's trying to say.

163. Well, that's reductive, but nonetheless—

164. I'm more into world cinema.

165. Bong Joon-ho, Ruben Östlund, Céline Sciamma.

166. Bullshit alert. Stuff that—

167. - Just ignore him. - Bullshit alert!

168. Let me talk to her! Guys.

169. Let's not scare her off before she's even started.

170. So get back to work. We open soon, all right?

171. Sorry. All right.

172. Your favorite movies are all Marvel.

173. What's wrong with that? It doesn't challenge you.

174. Nothing beats the new Spider-Man, all right?

175. I prefer the Raimi ones.

176. Guess I don't need to explain too much.

177. Oh. Guess we don't need this.

178. It's just selling tickets

179. and answering questions from confused old people, so...

180. I love it. Yeah.

181. I guess I should also mention that we have

182. a small video camera up there.

183. We had a problem with the cash box before, so...

184. Who's gonna be watching me? You?

185. Yeah, sorry. It's a rule the owners implemented.

186. No, I like being watched.

187. My therapist says I have exhibitionistic tendencies.

188. Oh. You should come to one of my shows sometime.

189. I'm part of a collective that does performance art,

190. spoken word, that sort of thing.

191. Cool. I don't know.

192. It might be too weird for you.

193. Why would it be weird for me?

194. Oh, uh... Sorry. One second. Sure.

195. What are you doing here?

196. I was having lunch down on Fourth Street,

197. so I got you takeout. With who? You're all dressed up.

198. Just Ling and Ramon and some of the other festival people.

199. Here, eat before the tempura gets soggy.

200. Oh, thanks. I should be home around 1.

201. Okay. I'll try to stay up.

202. The funny thing is, Lamont's actually right.

203. Gene's favorite movies are literally all on Disney+.

204. Are you serious? You can't blame him for trying.

205. Boy, I guess everyone's got the hots for the new girl, huh?

206. What do you mean, everyone? I saw her.

207. Ben, I know your type.

208. What? I don't have a type.

209. I don't.

210. Then how come you didn't introduce us?

211. Because unlike you, I like to spare you the pain

212. of having to interact with my coworkers.

213. Well, you've introduced me to Gene, Lamont,

214. the creepy projectionist guy. Okay, fine.

215. I just didn't know you'd be so interested

216. in meeting the attention-seeking hipster,

217. but if you really wanted— Oh, don't overdo it, Ben.

218. I know what a sucker you are. Jesus Christ.

219. Give me some credit. No. It's fine.

220. Hey, hey, hey.

221. You know what my type is?

222. It's you.

223. Even when you are being an asshole.

224. Shut up.

225. You're actually the asshole, though.

226. I am. Every day.

227. That's why we work, we're both assholes.

228. Every time another cousin gets married,

229. my parents get all weird on me,

230. so thanks for doing this.

231. I'm honored to play a part in your bizarre, ongoing charade.

232. They're so excited.

233. When I told them about you,

234. they high-fived and kissed on the lips.

235. It was weird.

236. You know, you'd think the fact

237. that I'm getting a PhD

238. would be enough to make them happy, but nope.

239. Why do you have a framed photo of yourself?

240. Because I'm in love with her. Oh, um—

241. Don't mention that your last name is Tagawa.

242. My grandpa will be there.

243. The Korean one. The Chinese one's dead.

244. So? Does the phrase World War II

245. ring a bell with you?

246. Right. That. No big deal.

247. Just your people raping and pillaging all of Korea.

248. That wasn't my people, okay?

249. My people were in America

250. for two generations when that happened.

251. My people were getting fucking

252. locked up in internment camps.

253. I think the preferred term is "incarceration camp."

254. "Internment" is misleading. Yeah.

255. You wanna cancel me now? Read a book.

256. Let's go. We're gonna be late. Now you wanna be early?

257. Also, people mistake me for Korean all the time.

258. You wish.

259. They'd rather see me with a Japanese guy than a Korean girl.

260. What you're saying is, rapists and pillagers

261. are preferable to the gays.

262. Everything is preferable to the gays.

263. Alice!

264. Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.

265. So we finally get to meet your mysterious boyfriend, huh?

266. Yeah, um... Yeah.

267. Mm.

268. Uh— Everyone, this is Ben.

269. Ben Park.

270. Hello, Ben. Hi.

271. Praise Jesus.

272. Yeah.

273. Absolutely.

274. So Alice tells me you're a youth pastor.

275. Yes. Yes, I am.

276. Say hi to my...

277. Good to meet you, sir.

278. Mm-hm.

279. Let's go inside. Hm?

280. Yeah, we'll be in there in a second.

281. What's wrong with Grandpa? Shit. He knows.

282. What? That I'm Japanese,

283. or that you're gay?

284. Shut up.

285. Hey, can I talk to you for a sec?

286. Mm-hm.

287. So I had to use your computer today—

288. What's wrong with yours? I left it at work.

289. You left a few pages open on your desktop.

290. Oh, my God. I've been hacked.

291. Let's not make a big deal out of this.

292. And if it bothers you that much—

293. What bothers me, Ben,

294. is that all of these girls are white.

295. That's what this is about? That's what this is about.

296. It's just not true. There's different categories.

297. So if you're looking for something in particular,

298. you can— It's not funny, Ben.

299. It's supposed to be different from reality, okay?

300. That's the point. I mean,

301. if you were stranded on a desert island,

302. you wouldn't sit around dreaming about sand and sun, right?

303. Is that what this feels like to you,

304. being stranded on a desert island?

305. It's just, the point is, sand and sun, they're great—

306. Do you have any idea why this might offend me?

307. It's like you're obsessed with the typical

308. Western-media beauty ideal, yet you're settling for me.

309. Can you not make this political, Miko?

310. And I'm not settling.

311. I see what you gawk at when we're out, Ben.

312. It's always the same white girl—

313. Okay! Wow! You're right!

314. Maybe I have been brainwashed

315. by some insidious media conspiracy

316. into believing that blonde-haired,

317. blue-eyed women are attractive.

318. I guess I should find Margot Robbie disgusting.

319. But somehow, I've been duped into believing—

320. You're a fucking dick.

321. Why are you blowing this up into such a thing?

322. It's not like I'm cheating on you.

323. Are you sure? Oh, see?

324. You are the crazy one! What the fuck is that?

325. This is what you always do. You act like an asshole,

326. then you get angry when I call you on it.

327. I'm angry because you always assume the worst about me

328. and then you end up acting crazy over nothing.

329. It's not nothing.

330. And I'm not acting crazy,

331. so stop using that fucking word!

332. See? You're just proving my point.

333. Hey, about last night...

334. It's okay, don't worry about it.

335. I think we can both agree—

336. Coffee's ready.

337. Excuse the interruption.

338. Jesus, Gene. You can't just come up on me like that.

339. Well, under less urgent circumstances, fine.

340. But right now, we have a situation.

341. Autumn feels it is imperative that she go gets a burrito.

342. But if I go and cover for her,

343. that's gonna leave Lamont alone at the concession stand—

344. Gene! I'm sure Lamont can handle it for a few minutes. Okay?

345. Hm.

346. Interesting.

347. - Where'd you come from? - What do you care?

348. Where'd you live before you came here?

349. Socorro.

350. McDonald.

351. Oh, yeah.

352. We have to let these seismic retrofit guys

353. inspect the theater, and we have to pay for it.

354. That's annoying.

355. Hey, do you remember that internship that I applied for?

356. The what?

357. The Asian American Independent Film Institute?

358. Maybe. What about it?

359. Well, I finally heard back from them and I got it.

360. Really? Yeah.

361. That's great, right? Yeah.

362. What does that mean? When do you start?

363. Well...

364. the thing is, it's in New York.

365. Okay, you definitely never told me about this.

366. I did. It's a three-month program, and I'm—

367. Three months? Are you kidding me?

368. I know, but it's an amazing opportunity.

369. I'm really excited about it.

370. It only seems like an amazing opportunity

371. because it's in New York.

372. Yeah, that's part of the reason why I wanted to do it.

373. Trust me, New York is overrated.

374. It's so gentrified now.

375. How many times have you even been there?

376. Are we counting layovers? No.

377. Look, it doesn't matter.

378. There's no way I'm moving to New York

379. for three months, all right?

380. I wasn't really asking you to.

381. What?

382. So, what does this mean? Are you two broken up?

383. We're taking some time off.

384. Those are her words. Wow.

385. When does she leave?

386. Thursday.

387. And now I have to be all supportive and shit.

388. You? Supportive? That's not really your brand.

389. Maybe this is a test, you know?

390. She wants you to talk her out of going. Right.

391. But then I'm the one holding her back,

392. extinguishing her dreams. Yeah.

393. You're pretty much fucked either way.

394. Well, this has been fun.

395. Nina, you didn't charge us for the fries.

396. I'm not gonna charge you for your fries.

397. How come? You know.

398. You think I'm cute?

399. Cool.

400. Cool.

401. Also, can you let your dad know

402. that I might be late on rent again?

403. Oh, it's fine. He's not even thinking about it.

404. Cool. You really didn't have to drive me.

405. No. I wanted to. Here. Give me this.

406. You'll probably be excited to have some peace and quiet.

407. Yeah. Maybe.

408. I think it'll be good for you.

409. Hey.

410. I don't think I ever said congratulations

411. on your internship.

412. I'm glad you're happy about it,

413. but I'm gonna miss you.

414. It's just a few months.

415. You're gonna love being a bachelor again.

416. Yeah, maybe I'll get back into writing or something.

417. Yeah.

418. Let me know once you get settled,

419. and I'll see about coming out for a weekend sometime.

420. Yeah. Hey, hey, hey. What the fuck?

421. You saw that asshole cut me off right now, right?

422. Ben, relax.

423. It's all these tech assholes taking over

424. with their fucking McMansions in Hayward

425. or wherever the fuck they live.

426. It's like, "Get off the fucking road,

427. you shithead! Go back to your artisanal—"

428. - Hey. - Did she actually leave?

429. Yeah. Yeah, I just got back. So, what's the deal?

430. You standing on a chair with a noose around your neck?

431. No. No.

432. Ben, can I call you later?

433. Let me guess. The waitress.

434. Good luck.

435. Not that I need it.

436. Hey, ask her if she has any ketchup.

437. Okay, fuck off. Bye.

438. This next piece is entitled "Asylum."

439. It's about immigration.

440. Three, two, one.

441. Really? The whole time I was thinking:

442. "He's totally hating this."

443. No, no, I was overwhelmed.

444. It was like a combination of...

445. performance art and experimental music.

446. Bye, Autumn.

447. Bye, Colorado Rhythm. So good.

448. Wonderful job. Great.

449. Yeah, we're trying to combine the physicality of modern dance

450. and the improvisation of free jazz,

451. and infuse it with a punk sensibility.

452. Exactly.

453. You know, I have to admit,

454. I didn't really know what to expect,

455. but that was amazing.

456. That's so cool.

457. Oh!

458. Heh.

459. Something wrong with the usual place?

460. No. I just wanted to try somewhere new.

461. Plus, I know this guy, Ji-Hun.

462. He works here, he'll give us a discount.

463. Plus, I'm kind of trying to dodge that waitress.

464. Why? I thought you guys were, you know, serious.

465. She started getting all attached.

466. You know I can't do that.

467. You have problems.

468. Just because I'm not a serial monogamist like you?

469. That was the old me. Right.

470. Okay, you think I'm gonna sit around pining away for Miko

471. while she's off traipsing around New York?

472. Wait. I thought you said you guys weren't broken up.

473. I said we were taking some time off.

474. I don't understand why that's so confusing for you.

475. All I'm saying is that while the cat's away,

476. the mouse will play. The mouse will play.

477. With himself probably.

478. What if I told you I already met someone?

479. Wait, what? Yeah.

480. Who? Autumn.

481. She's— The girl from the movie theater?

482. Ew! How old is she?

483. Twenty-three, 24, 25.

484. Probably the same age as your waitress.

485. Okay, that's different. How is that different?

486. Everything's less creepy without the hetero power dynamics.

487. Alice. I haven't seen you in a while. Where you been?

488. At better restaurants.

489. Ji-Hun, this is Ben.

490. Oh, yeah. She told me about you.

491. You're the one who's into white girls.

492. No, I'm— That's— Hey, hey. It's all good.

493. I mean, I'm more into the content of one's character,

494. but you do you, man.

495. Respect. What do you want?

496. Can I get the cheeseburger with a salad?

497. Fuck it. Give me the fries. Okay.

498. Give me all of the fries.

499. We've had to cancel a few screenings

500. because they interfered with their schedule.

501. Oh, jeez.

502. How's the internship?

503. You haven't told me much about it.

504. Well, you know, I've learned not to bore you,

505. but it's incredible.

506. That's great. I keep having these moments

507. where I'll stop and think, like, "Wow, I'm in New York City."

508. Well, that is where you are. I know, Ben.

509. You don't have to get all sarcastic

510. just because I'm enjoying myself.

511. You started it with the whole

512. "I've learned not to bore you" comment.

513. "You started it"? What are you, 9?

514. I'm just trying to act interested.

515. And you, you know...

516. Okay, well, why can't you ever just be genuinely interested?

517. You really want me to answer that?

518. You know what?

519. Maybe we just shouldn't talk for a while.

520. What?

521. Miko, come on, I was joking—

522. Cool bar.

523. Yeah. It's super gritty.

524. Yeah. I probably shouldn't have had that last drink.

525. You mean, that second light beer?

526. I didn't realize people lived in this building.

527. Oh, it's totally livable.

528. I mean, it's not up to code, but, um, it's livable.

529. Why don't I get us some drinks?

530. Wow.

531. What's all this?

532. This is one of my works in progress.

533. I wake up every morning, go pee, and then I take a picture.

534. You're serious. Yeah.

535. It's gonna be a huge installation someday.

536. Right now, the working title is Epistemology.

537. It's kind of a pun.

538. How about Urine Sane?

539. Yeah, right?

540. That wasn't very nice.

541. No. No, no, no, I was just—

542. It's cool, actually.

543. Yeah. There's actually— I can—

544. So much subtext.

545. I think it's a real commentary on, uh...

546. Consumption and waste.

547. You nailed it. Yes, exactly, that.

548. Why don't we go into the kitchen?

549. I think my roommate might be sleeping.

550. Oh, sure.

551. Yeah.

552. I think I have some soju in here somewhere.

553. Hey.

554. Hi.

555. Oh! Oh, I'm so sorry. I—

556. Don't you have a girlfriend? We're taking some—

557. We're basically broken up. She moved to New York.

558. Oh, I didn't know that.

559. Yeah.

560. So...

561. Um—

562. I— Sorry. Sorry, I just—

563. I'm just really skittish around germs

564. and, um, fluids and...

565. bacteria.

566. Okay.

567. I'm sorry, okay? No.

568. No, no, no. I should apologize.

569. - I should have— - Hey, Autumn.

570. Hi, Jeffrey.

571. Ben, this is my roommate Jeffrey.

572. He's the dancer from the show you saw.

573. Hey, man. Hey.

574. Nice to meet you. Great to meet you.

575. Ooh. Soju.

576. Mm-hm. Ahem.

577. Does he ever wear clothes?

578. Rude.

579. It's for the best. How can you even get it up

580. for someone who does that cringy, bullshit art?

581. You'd be amazed at what I can overlook.

582. It's probably not a good look

583. to be dating an employee anyway, so...

584. Now you mention that.

585. You're a very unreliable moral compass.

586. I don't remember signing up for that job.

587. God, I'm an idiot.

588. No, you're just out of practice.

589. Come with me to this party on Saturday.

590. You might learn a thing or two.

591. Like where the clitoris is.

592. Hi.

593. Hey. Um...

594. How was the crowd for the 7:30?

595. Great. Like eight or nine tickets.

596. Cool.

597. Um...

598. Listen, I just wanted to say I'm so sorry

599. about the other night.

600. It's totally cool.

601. No, I think I misread things, and I—

602. No, no, you didn't. I just—

603. In the moment, it didn't feel right.

604. Yeah, that makes sense. I just— I s—

605. Sometimes I think the body

606. knows better than the mind, you know?

607. When it comes to sexual attraction.

608. And then sometimes the mind is like, "Maybe."

609. But then the body is like:

610. "No." Right.

611. I wasn't always able to be this honest with myself,

612. but I'm really trying to be more mindful.

613. That's really great.

614. Happy for you.

615. Thank you. Happy for you too.

616. Keep up the great work.

617. - You too. - Lamont!

618. Yo, Ben tried to fuck—

619. So, what do you think?

620. Do I look like an eligible bachelor?

621. Yeah. About that... What?

622. Is this...? You brought me to a gay thing?

623. Okay, that's a very narrow and exclusionary term, Ben.

624. Right, sorry. But basically, yeah.

625. What the fuck, Alice?

626. Can you just be a normal person for once

627. and enjoy a nice social experience

628. without obsessing over who you're hooking up with?

629. Oh, my God. Look who's talking.

630. Just because I'm a hypocrite doesn't mean I'm wrong.

631. All right!

632. Alice Lee has arrived!

633. Anyone have a bottle opener?

634. What for? It's a twist-off.

635. Sorry, man, I'm just fucking with you. Here.

636. Thank you.

637. You must be Alice's friend.

638. Supposedly.

639. I overheard some talk of an interloper.

640. I'm Sasha.

641. I'm Ben.

642. Hi.

643. You know, I bet we have something in common.

644. And what is that?

645. We're probably the only two people

646. at this party that Alice Lee has not seduced.

647. Really? Yeah.

648. You've managed to— Oh, yeah.

649. Yeah, dodged that bullet.

650. No offense. None taken.

651. Do you go to school with—? Yeah. Yeah.

652. Comp Lit with a focus on Latin American Marxism.

653. Wow.

654. That's actually my favorite kind of Marxism.

655. I, uh— Seriously?

656. No. I'm probably the least-informed person here.

657. I doubt that.

658. So, what's your deal?

659. You're, like, Alice's designated driver?

660. Don't even know what I'm really doing here, to be honest.

661. There you are.

662. Let's go.

663. Hi, Sasha. Hi, Alice.

664. I guess we're leaving.

665. I work at the Berkeley Arts Cinema.

666. Please stop by for a free movie.

667. Okay.

668. Popcorn.

669. Free popcorn.

670. Cool.

671. What are you doing?

672. Trust me, you do not wanna get involved with Sasha.

673. She's a fence-sitter.

674. Weren't you the one who gave me a lecture

675. about narrow exclusionary terms?

676. I'm allowed.

677. I'm telling you, she's total bad news. You'll regret it.

678. She seemed nice to me.

679. "Free popcorn."

680. Shut up.

681. Oh...

682. How do you do it?

683. Spit so much game effortlessly?

684. So we've got another show coming up pretty soon.

685. Oh, yeah? That's great.

686. Yeah, I know how much you loved our last one,

687. and this one's kind of, like, the same, only more intense.

688. Wow. What night is it?

689. Because I might not be able to do—

690. It's a monthlong residency.

691. So you could come multiple times.

692. A month. Perfect.

693. Yeah. It changes night to night.

694. It's like jazz, right?

695. Of course. I will just check—

696. Hi. Remember me?

697. Yeah. Oh, sorry.

698. Of course. Hey.

699. I was just passing by.

700. Do you wanna see a movie?

701. No. Maybe some other time.

702. Okay. Uh, don't move.

703. Hi. I'm hosting a fundraiser to benefit my art.

704. She's good. Thanks. Thanks. Sorry.

705. Have you eaten lunch? I have not.

706. Wow, this place is so good.

707. You've never been here before? Mm-mm.

708. I was in a relationship, and she became a vegetarian.

709. And then a vegan.

710. And then a raw-food vegan.

711. And now all she eats is dirt.

712. Yeah, well, needless to say,

713. places like this were off-limits.

714. It actually still feels a little transgressive.

715. Uh—

716. So how long ago did you and...? Pilar.

717. Am I prying here? I don't wanna be intrusive.

718. No, no, no. It's fine. Um...

719. I guess we've been broken up for a couple months now.

720. I should probably say longer, right?

721. Just so it doesn't seem like I'm just jumping from one thing

722. to another thing.

723. That's a great thought.

724. But you say it's too long, then you run the risk of—

725. Right. Like, "Hi. I haven't been on a date in three years.

726. Do you wanna meet my cats?"

727. Wait, do you actually have cats? Maybe.

728. Okay, what about you?

729. How long have you been broken up for?

730. About ten years. Oh.

731. No, I am kidding. About the same as you.

732. Hm. Okay.

733. Do you have to go back to work?

734. Yeah, unfortunately.

735. Okay. Well— But tomorrow...

736. Tomorrow I have off.

737. Okay. I swear, I'm not this desperate.

738. I just— I'm a little out of practice.

739. It's clear.

740. - I'm sorry. - It's gotta be fascinating

741. to listen to me just drone on and on

742. about grad-school politics. No, it's okay.

743. I stopped listening a long time ago. No.

744. I'm joking. Oh, man.

745. I just— I always do this.

746. I'm, like, hermetically sealed in this bubble.

747. It's just tiresome. No. It's good.

748. I— I'm actually reminded why I dropped out.

749. Oh.

750. Yeah, what were you studying, again?

751. Film.

752. Yeah, I got through two years,

753. had this epiphany that academia is the enemy of art.

754. I need to stop studying and start creating.

755. And? Should've kept studying.

756. Yeah. So wrote a script and did the whole

757. maxing-out-the-credit-card thing,

758. rented a bunch of equipment,

759. roped a bunch of friends into helping me.

760. What happened? It was a fucking disaster.

761. I was trying to be the nexÉ ric Rohmer or something.

762. But I had to accept eventually that I was just a...

763. current Ben Tagawa.

764. That's the saddest thing I've ever heard.

765. Thank you for agreeing with me. Okay.

766. That's very nice of you. Wait. What was I supposed—?

767. There you go. Thank you.

768. Okay, relax.

769. Oh, my God.

770. Oh, no, what?

771. You have the softest skin I've ever felt.

772. It's due to a lifetime of work avoidance.

773. Do you think we should...?

774. Can I kiss you?

775. Ben. Sorry.

776. That was not good. No.

777. No, no, no. Um...

778. Yes. Consent granted.

779. Are you sure? Yeah. It's much appreciated.

780. Thank you and great job.

781. Fuck. Are you okay?

782. Fine. Just... Okay.

783. Are you okay? You just seem a little off.

784. Sorry, I was just overly excited.

785. Do—? Are you—? Do you need help? You good?

786. Thank you. Okay.

787. Wow.

788. Actually, it's, um...

789. It's just that I've never—

790. I've never been with—

791. With?

792. I mean, never mind. I just meant it's been a while.

793. It's cool. I know what you were gonna say.

794. And this will actually be a first for me too. So...

795. Ew! Are you serious?

796. Oh, my God.

797. You're actually jealous of me for once.

798. Oh, please.

799. You think I give a shit

800. about some trendy dabbler?

801. Jesus. Can I bask in my glory for one fucking minute?

802. Sorry. I'm just in a shitty mood.

803. Yeah, I can tell.

804. I was gonna regale you with details too.

805. I got kicked out of school. What?

806. What do you mean?

807. Can you just come over when you can?

808. Yeah. Yeah, I'll be there.

809. Remember when I took you to that stupid party?

810. The fateful night. It all began there.

811. Yeah. I got into an argument with Nina's fucking roommate.

812. Nina? The waitress with the fucking bangs?

813. The one you ghosted

814. because she was allowing the relationship

815. to progress in a mature way.

816. Whatever. So I bump into the roommate on campus,

817. and she fucking got all up in my face and kept talking shit!

818. So I kicked her in the pussy.

819. What the fuck, Alice? I warned her, okay?

820. All she had to do was back off.

821. Did she go to the hospital? Is she okay?

822. No, she didn't go to the hospital, okay?

823. It wasn't like that. I was just— I was sitting,

824. and she was coming at me, and I just stopped her.

825. I put my foot out and it just landed on her pussy.

826. Alice. She filed a report with the campus police

827. and now I'm temporarily banned.

828. I mean, there's obviously something wrong with me, right?

829. Mm...

830. I'm gonna go to New York for a while,

831. just to get my head together.

832. I have some friends I can stay with, so...

833. Unbelievable.

834. Does everyone in Berkeley just have a hard-on for New York?

835. Like, why doesn't the entire Bay Area pack up

836. and move over to New York City and call it a day?

837. That's your takeaway?

838. After everything I just said?

839. Sorry. Listen,

840. maybe you could come with me.

841. It could be good for us. We could start fresh.

842. You're not really going. I can tell, you're just drunk.

843. I already booked my flight.

844. I leave on Tuesday.

845. I'm sorry. It sucks. I know you guys are really close.

846. Yeah.

847. But at least it's not like she's—

848. I think she's making a mistake, you know?

849. She runs away from shit. That's her thing.

850. You see the way that guy looked at us?

851. Who, what? What are you talking about?

852. Guy over there. Did you see that?

853. He's, like, openly judging me.

854. Judging you? For what?

855. You know, us.

856. Come on.

857. This isn't 1949.

858. Okay, either that or he had "white girl envy."

859. Maybe it was more like, "Good job."

860. Ew. I'm joking.

861. Who the hell knows why he was looking at us?

862. Is that what I am?

863. What? A "white girl"?

864. Well, not just that.

865. Look, I'm sorry, okay? I was just—

866. Just what?

867. You are so incredibly beautiful.

868. I just assume that every guy we pass hates my fucking guts.

869. Okay.

870. That was pathetic, Ben, really. It's true.

871. Yeah, yeah. Okay.

872. You say you'd just let it all go,

873. and didn't we have a good time?

874. You liked making love to me, didn't you?

875. Yes, I did.

876. So you see there, that's good, isn't it?

877. And I thought you were crazy, didn't I?

878. - Moshi-Moshi. This is Miko. - Leave me a message.

879. So I'm sure you're all wondering

880. why I've asked you to gather here.

881. I'm afraid I have some disappointing news.

882. - The... - Sorry!

883. inspectors have deemed the building structurally unsound,

884. and as you are probably aware,

885. ticket sales haven't really been what they used to be.

886. So it looks like we're gonna have to shut down.

887. Can you put your phone away?

888. I'm really sorry, guys.

889. I know how much this place means to all of us.

890. So when we find out

891. when our last day's gonna be, I will—

892. Yeah, Gene.

893. Greetings, everyone.

894. I just wanted to let you all know

895. that I have recently accepted a job

896. as assistant manager at the E-Flix Multiplex.

897. And more to the point, we are currently hiring.

898. Danny, we're looking for a projectionist.

899. - I'm in. - Okay, yeah—

900. Unh! If anyone else has any interest

901. and/or further query about the job,

902. I will be out in the lobby imminently.

903. Lamont, are we gonna keep hanging out?

904. Yeah. I'm gonna work for Gene.

905. I would work for Gene.

906. Um...

907. Okay, so hey. I, um...

908. need to talk to you.

909. Whenever someone says that, it always means:

910. "I'm about to really bum you out."

911. Yeah. Maybe.

912. Um— It's about Pilar.

913. What about her?

914. Well, she's been doing research in Ecuador,

915. and I wasn't exactly sure where we stood when she left.

916. And now she's back.

917. Yeah.

918. What?

919. Just seems kind of deceptive.

920. You had made it clear that you two had broken up.

921. It would've been nice to know I was the backup plan.

922. Yeah. I know.

923. I'm sorry. It's like a— It's a problem of mine.

924. I'm not very good at being alone.

925. Really? That's strange 'cause I love being alone.

926. Only thing I love more than being alone

927. is getting strung along. Okay, wow. Ben,

928. it's been, like, a few weeks, all right?

929. You didn't, like, waste your whole life on me.

930. That's great.

931. Have fun back on the other side of the fence.

932. I should go.

933. Hey. Maybe quit smoking too.

934. I mean, who still smokes?

935. Listen, Ben,

936. I know you're gonna want to blame this

937. on society or on my sexuality

938. or on your race or whatever.

939. But one day, I hope you'll understand

940. that this really is just about you.

941. Moshi-Moshi. This is Miko. Leave me a message.

942. Moshi-Moshi. This is Miko. Leave me a message.

943. Fuck!

944. Moshi-Moshi. This is Miko. Leave me a message.

945. Hi. It's me. Again. Um—

946. I don't know if there's a problem

947. with your voicemail or something,

948. but if you get this, can you give me a call?

949. Let me know if you're okay, maybe.

950. I actually know that you're okay

951. because you keep posting pictures

952. of all the fucking delightful food you're eating.

953. So if you could do me the courtesy

954. of calling me back, you know, just—

955. That would be greatly appreciated.

956. Anyway...

957. Uh... I know you're probably busy.

958. So give me a call back when you can.

959. Love you.

960. Fuck!

961. What?

962. Nice to hear from you too, asshole.

963. Sorry.

964. What's up? I had, like, three minutes

965. with nothing to do, so I thought I'd give you a call.

966. Well, here I am.

967. Oh, my God. You sound so sad.

968. Did you scratch one of your DVDs?

969. Listen...

970. if I came out there...

971. could I maybe stay with you for a little while?

972. Holy shit. Is this your rock bottom?

973. High school was my rock bottom. Right.

974. And you had nowhere to go but up. Ha, ha.

975. Hey.

976. Are you serious?

977. I can't believe you're actually in New York, your personal hell.

978. I hate it already. Oh!

979. Before I forget.

980. Front door and apartment door.

981. Yeah, Meredith wants you to feel free

982. to come and go at your leisure.

983. Who? Meredith.

984. Meredith Ames? Come on, I told you about her!

985. I— It's her apartment.

986. I thought you came out here to clear your head.

987. I did.

988. And then I went to a party and met Meredith

989. and went home with her, and I've been there ever since.

990. Unbelievable.

991. So when are you gonna call her?

992. Who?

993. "Who."

994. Yeah, who? Ha!

995. Babe? We're home.

996. Hey! I'll just be out in a second.

997. Nice place. I know.

998. It's like a grown-up lives here, right?

999. Hi. This must be the infamous Ben Tagawa.

1000. Hi. Great to meet you. Oh, please.

1001. Feel like I know you already.

1002. She talks about you incessantly.

1003. Oh, God.

1004. She does. Yeah, I do.

1005. To be honest, I probably know a lot more

1006. about you than I should. She told me—

1007. I'm actually attracted to women of all races.

1008. Good to know. No, wait. No, I'm—

1009. I'm sorry. I thought that's what she—

1010. It's really funny when he flails.

1011. I'm sorry I don't have a room for you, Ben,

1012. but the sofa's pretty comfy.

1013. No, no. That's fine.

1014. I could actually easily stay at a hotel.

1015. You can't afford that. I don't wanna impose.

1016. The more, the merrier. It'll be like a slumber party.

1017. Oh, babe, don't say that.

1018. He'll think he's getting some hot three-way action.

1019. Oh, God.

1020. No. I— Yeah. I know.

1021. I'm not— I don't— I'm very— Yeah.

1022. He wants it. All men are trash.

1023. The couch is wonderful.

1024. You brought out the fancy shit.

1025. Which one is this?

1026. Okay. So this is a goat Gouda,

1027. and this is a Delice de Bourgogne.

1028. Ooh! Delice de okay. To the gracious hostess.

1029. Thank you. It's good to be here.

1030. So Alice tells me you're involved in the theater.

1031. Oh, is that—?

1032. I manage a crappy movie theater. Or at least, I used to.

1033. Right. Sorry, I knew that. Not that it's crappy.

1034. I knew it was a movie—

1035. Meredith is working on her novel.

1036. Well, I mean, that's what I say

1037. to avoid the very real possibility

1038. that I might just be a teacher.

1039. Well, a professor at Barnard.

1040. You're really trading up. I'm impressed.

1041. Yeah, I did. Listen to her.

1042. It's like living with Mary Poppins.

1043. Oh, my God.

1044. What do you guys have planned for tomorrow? I've got to work.

1045. Well, Ben's here basically to stalk his ex-girlfriend, so...

1046. Not my ex-girlfriend. We're just taking some time off.

1047. If you were in a dysfunctional, long-term relationship...

1048. Please don't call it that.

1049. and your partner says she's "taking some time off"

1050. and moves across the country... For an internship.

1051. you'd assume— I mean, that's a breakup, right?

1052. How were things when she left? Terrible.

1053. No, not terrible.

1054. We were drifting apart a little bit,

1055. and we were...

1056. definitely fighting a lot.

1057. You know, otherwise...

1058. I think the drifting is worse than the fighting.

1059. Alice and I have had our share of fights already,

1060. but they've been really productive.

1061. Oh, Alice, you're now having productive fights.

1062. - Yeah, Ben. - It's called maturity.

1063. I can give you some pointers when you're ready.

1064. So question for you.

1065. When you have these productive fights,

1066. did she ever kick you in the pussy?

1067. Uh... I think I'd remember if she did.

1068. Just ignore him.

1069. That's a pretty heavy thing to say.

1070. No! No, no. That's not my phrase.

1071. That's actually something she said when she got mad—

1072. Let it go, Ben.

1073. Anything you wanna say?

1074. The bagels in New York are really better.

1075. Sorry. I guess she doesn't really get our sense of humor.

1076. Not about her. I just went out on a limb—

1077. Let me clarify. This is different.

1078. I really like this one. I mean, she's perfect for me.

1079. Oh, you guys are still in that phase.

1080. It's cute. Ben, I'm serious, okay?

1081. This is finally a chance for me

1082. to climb out of that hole I've been living in.

1083. And to be, you know, a real adult human, for once.

1084. So can we at least attempt to not fuck this up for me?

1085. Okay.

1086. You're more fun in California. You're about the same.

1087. See, you can't even tell anything from this.

1088. It's, like, food...

1089. more food.

1090. Let me see.

1091. Who's LeonDesigns212,

1092. and why's he liking all of her pics?

1093. Holy shit!

1094. What the fuck?

1095. It's definitely her, right?

1096. I mean, I know all Asian girls look the same to you.

1097. Will you shut up for a minute while I try to process this?

1098. God, I had no idea how hot she was.

1099. Dude, you fucked up. I said, shut up.

1100. Can I help you?

1101. We were just curious about the photos in the window.

1102. Aren't they totally amazing?

1103. Yeah. You know anything about them? Where they came from?

1104. Oh, Leon handles all the promo himself.

1105. And Leon is...?

1106. Leon Alexander.

1107. He designs the clothes.

1108. This is his boutique.

1109. Ah. Humility.

1110. Uh—

1111. What about the model on the screen?

1112. Do you know anything about her?

1113. He finds them from all over.

1114. He found his last model at a Chipotle.

1115. How many are there?

1116. Do you have questions about the clothes?

1117. Is this a cult?

1118. How are you not mad right now?

1119. So she wanted to try modeling or whatever.

1120. She probably thought I wouldn't be supportive

1121. if she told me about it. And she'd be wrong?

1122. No, I would've been a total prick about it.

1123. In a way, I forced her to lie.

1124. It's just so weird to think of her doing that.

1125. It's like if I found out you were a mime.

1126. Don't knock mimes. Chaplin was a mime.

1127. When are you gonna see her? You did come to see her, right?

1128. I have a plan for tomorrow. Oh, really? This, I gotta see.

1129. This is so unlike you. That's the point.

1130. Hi.

1131. You shouldn't have.

1132. Uh, I'm— I'm here to see Miko.

1133. Who? Miko Higashi. She's an intern here.

1134. I'm the only intern here right now.

1135. Okay, do you know when she's gonna be back?

1136. Look, there is only one intern working here

1137. at this point in time, and you're looking at him.

1138. I hope you're not being catfished.

1139. That would suck.

1140. Can you check if she maybe worked here before you?

1141. I'm not supposed to give out that kind of information.

1142. Please.

1143. Actually, what the fuck do I care?

1144. No.

1145. Fuck!

1146. What? Ben.

1147. Well, so much for my big move.

1148. Fucking lying bitch. Don't.

1149. So now what?

1150. Can I use your phone?

1151. What's wrong with yours?

1152. I tried that.

1153. - Hello? - Hey, it's me.

1154. Oh. Hi.

1155. What's this number you're calling from?

1156. Oh, right. I'm out with Alice, and I forgot my phone at home.

1157. I'm sorry.

1158. I should've called. I just...

1159. I felt like we weren't communicating very well

1160. over the phone and—

1161. No, no, no, it's fine. I know you're busy.

1162. Well, we should talk.

1163. I'm in the middle of something at work right now,

1164. but— You mean, the internship?

1165. Uh-huh.

1166. I will call you later tonight.

1167. Cool. Actually, wait.

1168. The reason I called is because

1169. we're at the post office right now.

1170. You got some important-looking mail, some tax stuff.

1171. And I wanted to forward it,

1172. but I didn't know where to send it to.

1173. Yeah, I got a pen.

1174. Yeah, got it.

1175. I can't believe she can afford to live around here.

1176. Yeah, she must be really dipping into that old trust fund.

1177. God, I'd give anything to have a rich, absent, alcoholic dad

1178. that tries to buy my love.

1179. Well, which one is it? Relax. Got it all staked out.

1180. So listen.

1181. I'm thinking about maybe not going back to school.

1182. What?

1183. When I'm honest with myself,

1184. there's only one reason why I even wanted

1185. to go to grad school to begin with.

1186. The poon.

1187. No, idiot.

1188. My parents!

1189. "The poon"? How old are you?

1190. I've just been living my whole life,

1191. thinking it's possible to placate them,

1192. but it's obviously not.

1193. So your solution is to give up and hide out here in New York?

1194. Maybe.

1195. At least I'd be happy.

1196. You could maybe just be honest with them.

1197. Ha!

1198. Sorry.

1199. What?

1200. No.

1201. No, never.

1202. Oh, shit.

1203. Are you fucking with me? What do we do?

1204. Shit. What do we do?

1205. - It's that designer prick. - Come on.

1206. Wait. Come on. Come on.

1207. He's too tall, way too tall.

1208. Hey, how y'all doing?

1209. What the fuck is she doing with that guy?

1210. You look beautiful. Nice.

1211. Go, go, go.

1212. What are they doing?

1213. They're being fucking adorable.

1214. Shit.

1215. Let's go.

1216. Wow.

1217. What are they saying? How the fuck would I know?

1218. I can't believe she's with a fucking rice king.

1219. We don't necessarily know— He was speaking Japanese.

1220. He was a white guy with a big beard who was speaking Japanese.

1221. What does the big beard

1222. have to do with anything? I don't know!

1223. I can see why you're upset,

1224. but there's nothing wrong

1225. with someone having a type.

1226. If there's real love between two people—

1227. Yeah, yeah. But can we be honest, between us, right?

1228. You see a white guy with an Asian girl,

1229. and what do you think? Oh, boy.

1230. And when you see an Asian man

1231. with a white woman, you think...?

1232. Good for him.

1233. Good for both of them.

1234. And you don't second-guess that relationship.

1235. You're like, "Wow, he must be a really cool guy,

1236. and she is really evolved."

1237. Jesus. What year is he living in?

1238. I just think there's something creepy

1239. about an older white guy who's horny for skinny Asian girls.

1240. I mean, what's that all about?

1241. I actually don't think it's about anything.

1242. Oh, come on, Meredith.

1243. If you're implying an undercurrent of what?

1244. Fetishism? Pedophilia?

1245. Then what's the flip side to that line of thinking?

1246. I don't know what.

1247. Is your attraction to white women

1248. a sublimated form of assimilation?

1249. Are you trying to elevate yourself in society's eyes by—?

1250. Where'd that come from? Sorry, dude.

1251. Don't turn this into a personal attack on me.

1252. No, no, no. It's not an attack.

1253. I just think it gets tricky

1254. when you start making moralistic generalizations

1255. based on your own wounded ego.

1256. You don't even know me.

1257. Babe, he's had a hard day, you know?

1258. I know. I know. And I'm sorry.

1259. I just don't know if it's appropriate for someone,

1260. particularly a cishet male,

1261. to ascribe negative implications to other people's sexuality.

1262. To be clear, I'm 100%

1263. just talking about rice kings, okay? I'm not—

1264. I know you think you're being funny or whatever,

1265. but there's a long history of pejorative slang

1266. used to demean the sexuality of "the other."

1267. Meredith's dad is white, so— But that's beside the point.

1268. How is that beside the point?

1269. You don't wanna have to think about your white dad

1270. and your Asian mom getting it on.

1271. His fetish— I'm very close to throwing this in your face.

1272. Babe.

1273. - What the fuck? - I'm sorry.

1274. For a second there, I thought

1275. she was gonna kick me in the pussy.

1276. Meredith!

1277. Just because I laugh at something

1278. doesn't mean I endorse it.

1279. I hate to say it, but you are kind of rigid—

1280. So it's my problem? I did not say that.

1281. He can rant and spew all that toxic bullshit

1282. and I am too rigid?

1283. Hey! Did you fuck her in my bed?

1284. Oh, my God, Ben, are you crazy?

1285. Did you take the shitty photos first

1286. and then fuck her in my bed?

1287. Or did you fuck her in my bed

1288. and then take those shitty photos?

1289. He doesn't understand.

1290. Oh, God. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have assumed.

1291. But you did. I did.

1292. I did. There's no excuse.

1293. What is this? You come all the way here to spy on me?

1294. Are you that much of an asshole?

1295. Yeah, I am that much of an asshole.

1296. You're not an asshole.

1297. I understand that this is an awkward situation for all of us.

1298. We're not meeting under the best of terms now.

1299. Yeah, I prefer a more formal introduction

1300. to the guy who's fucking my girlfriend.

1301. Okay, let's just take a breath.

1302. Look, Ben— Don't fucking touch me!

1303. Oh, really? You're gonna do Tai Chi on me?

1304. Look, I'm sorry.

1305. That's just instinct. It's just a reflex.

1306. It's decades of training, and I'm sorry.

1307. A martial arts guy? Really, Miko?

1308. Okay, just stop it, Ben. Just stop!

1309. You know what? You wanna go? Let's go.

1310. I'm sure you're dying to do your version of that Tarantino movie.

1311. What? That scene, you know,

1312. where Brad Pitt kicks Bruce Lee's ass.

1313. Oh, my God. I'm sure that's your wet dream, isn't it?

1314. No. I mean, overall, yes, I thought it was a great film.

1315. But I despise the idea of aggrandizing

1316. a fictional white protagonist

1317. by denigrating a real Asian American icon.

1318. Yes, I understand there are some aspects of it

1319. that were based on true—

1320. Can you shut the fuck up?

1321. Ben, look, man, I understand— I said, don't!

1322. Oh, here he goes. I did it again. I did it again.

1323. I get the feeling that I'm not making anything better here.

1324. So I'm gonna step away.

1325. Why don't you go up to my place, have a drink, kitchen's yours.

1326. Call me if you need anything. Okay, I'm gonna call you.

1327. Sayonara.

1328. Oh, that's good Japanese. You're on your way.

1329. Oh, shut up.

1330. So this is his place.

1331. Yep.

1332. Nice.

1333. I see that he really likes his Oriental accessories.

1334. So you never even had your own place out here.

1335. Does he make you pay rent, or do you just walk on his back?

1336. Come on, Ben. What are you doing here?

1337. You basically came out here to be with him, right?

1338. Okay, look. I owe you an apology, but—

1339. No, no, no. How does one cross paths with a Leon Alexander?

1340. He was visiting a friend. Excuse me?

1341. He was visiting someone who had a film in the festival.

1342. Oh. We met for coffee a few times

1343. while he was in town, but it was nothing.

1344. Can you stop bullshitting?

1345. I saw the photos.

1346. I think I can recognize our own fucking bed!

1347. We took a few photos, but that's it.

1348. We agreed to wait until I'd resolved things with you.

1349. So are you still waiting?

1350. Because I don't feel resolved, do you?

1351. Holy shit. Poor Leon. The blue balls on that guy.

1352. Ben, we were taking some time off. You knew this.

1353. I just didn't realize taking some time off

1354. meant fucking other people!

1355. You sure about that?

1356. What are you talking about?

1357. My friend Koji saw you holding hands

1358. with someone at the flea market.

1359. She sounded like your type too.

1360. Stop trying to turn this around on me.

1361. All right, look, Ben, it's fine.

1362. I think it's obvious that this has been

1363. such a good change for both of us.

1364. We went about it in a stupid way,

1365. but somehow it all worked out for the best.

1366. But of all people...

1367. Miko, a white guy is one thing, but he—

1368. He is so clearly an Asian fetishist.

1369. Do you realize how insulting that is to me, Ben?

1370. That the only reason someone

1371. could possibly be attracted to me

1372. is because of some objectifying abnormality?

1373. I didn't say that was the only reason.

1374. That says a lot more about you than it does about me.

1375. I'm criticizing him, not you. Can you just not twist my words?

1376. I know that you think you're in this position

1377. to always be judging people, but you know what?

1378. You don't know anything about him.

1379. And if it really matters to you, Ben, he's not white.

1380. What? We're talking about the same guy?

1381. He's Jewish and Indigenous American.

1382. Okay.

1383. Oh, wow.

1384. That— That is hilarious. Hilarious.

1385. Did he put that on his college application?

1386. I think you should go now.

1387. How's the internship, by the way?

1388. It's great.

1389. Sticking with your story. That's nice.

1390. Ben, wait.

1391. I should've been more direct with you a long time ago, and...

1392. And I apologize for not doing that.

1393. But even at my most frustrated, I felt a lot of pity for you.

1394. And I realized that that's how you kept me trapped.

1395. Stop trying to play the victim now, Miko.

1396. It's fucking embarrassing.

1397. You wanna know what's embarrassing, Ben?

1398. Trying to hold on to something

1399. because you are pathologically afraid of change.

1400. That's what you do, Ben.

1401. And it felt like fucking death to me.

1402. So that's my big crime, huh?

1403. I don't like to give up? Oh, what a monster I am.

1404. No, I also think you have problems with anger, depression,

1405. your weird self-hatred issues,

1406. and just the relentless negativity, Ben!

1407. You could benefit from a little self-hatred.

1408. Your resistance to grow, to change,

1409. the way you just give up

1410. on any sort of career, it's hostile!

1411. It's all me doing this to you?

1412. 'Cause you're not at all self-centered

1413. or entitled or deceptive.

1414. Listen to me.

1415. You never did anything to make me wanna stay.

1416. You never even asked me not to go.

1417. You just said nothing.

1418. And then you resent me for it. Are you done?

1419. Are you done fucking rationalizing?

1420. God, because if you are,

1421. maybe we could actually have a conversa—

1422. What?

1423. Nothing. I just...

1424. I had the best thought.

1425. What?

1426. I never have to listen to this shit again.

1427. Wait, wait, Miko. Miko, Miko. Wait, wait.

1428. I need you to go. Wait. Okay?

1429. We just— We do this.

1430. We get caught up in the moment, all right?

1431. Can we just take a breather? No, Ben. You need to go now.

1432. Don't do this to me.

1433. because everything is about him!

1434. he has opinions.

1435. I don't care about his stupid opinions.

1436. I'm talking about what he's doing to us.

1437. - Just ignore him. - He's going through a rough time.

1438. And he wants to blow us up, so you'll go back home with him.

1439. Are you serious?

1440. Meredith's right.

1441. What? She's right.

1442. So I'm gonna do

1443. the most helpful thing I can think of.

1444. What are you doing?

1445. Changing my flight. I'm gonna go home.

1446. Ben, no. What? I don't want you to misunderstand—

1447. No, there's no misunderstanding.

1448. Meredith, I'm sorry you had

1449. to meet me at this point in my life.

1450. I mean, I'm sure you would've hated me anyways.

1451. No. No, you definitely would've.

1452. It's true.

1453. You happened to catch me at my absolute...

1454. Nadir. I think it's pronounced "nadir."

1455. Well, it's, um...

1456. Sure. Yeah. Right.

1457. Yeah. No. Sorry.

1458. Did you see her?

1459. What's with all the fucking balloons?

1460. - Speech. - Speech it up!

1461. Speech! Speech! Speech!

1462. What? Okay, okay, okay.

1463. Okay. Thank you for being here.

1464. I don't know if getting another year older

1465. is really something to celebrate at this point,

1466. but I will still allow you to buy me drinks.

1467. So last month,

1468. I got dragged to a party I didn't really want to go to.

1469. And I got introduced to Alice,

1470. friend of a friend from California.

1471. Even though I didn't really wanna be introduced to anyone,

1472. least of all someone from California.

1473. Now, I'm gonna say something

1474. I don't say very often.

1475. I was wrong.

1476. I was wrong about the party.

1477. I was wrong about getting introduced.

1478. And as most of you know,

1479. I've since fallen head over heels for her.

1480. Not true. You don't wear heels.

1481. No, but listen,

1482. she's just told me that's she's moving here,

1483. and that's honestly the best present I could imagine.

1484. Your loss, California.

1485. So keep buying me drinks, but buy Alice a drink too

1486. and welcome her to her new home.

1487. Yeah!

1488. Yes!

1489. Hey. Where you going?

1490. I'm gonna go back to the apartment and get packed up.

1491. I'm not moving just for her, you know.

1492. Whatever happens, I'll still be in the best city in the world.

1493. Okay. I mean, I disagree.

1494. Of course you do.

1495. Look, I'm glad you're giving it a shot.

1496. I'll be back next month, you know, to get my stuff.

1497. Start planning now.

1498. We can get a U-Haul and road trip...

1499. I don't think I'm gonna move 3000 miles

1500. for someone I'm not having intercourse with.

1501. Right.

1502. Speaking of people you're not having intercourse with...

1503. is it officially over?

1504. Yeah.

1505. So you're not gonna do that thing

1506. where you run through the city

1507. to make one last heartfelt gesture to win her back?

1508. No. No.

1509. Anyway... Yeah, I should get back in there.

1510. See you in the morning. Yeah.

1511. How you doing? Where you going? JFK.

1512. Hey.

1513. Is anyone sitting here?

1514. No.

1515. Hey. I think you're still up in the air,

1516. so I wanted to leave you a message.

1517. I got your text, and I just wanted to say that

1518. I'm proud of you.

1519. I mean, sure.

1520. Things may not have worked out the way you wanted,

1521. but at least you took a chance, right?

1522. You put yourself out there.

1523. And now you can go back home

1524. and keep expanding your horizons, you know?

1525. Maybe try new things like

1526. kindness, warmth, basic acts of human decency.

1527. Just stop being such a piece of shit, Ben.

1528. Really, do whatever makes you happy.

1529. This is the time, Ben.

1530. Fresh starts, new beginnings, all that shit.

1531. Sure, you have no job,

1532. you're broke, you have no girlfriend,

1533. and you probably have to move out

1534. of that gorgeous apartment her dad owns.

1535. Dude, you're fucked. Ha, ha.

1536. I'm kidding.

1537. Learn to take a fucking joke, Ben.

1538. Change is hard for assholes like us.

1539. But for what it's worth, I believe in you.

1540. I'm always here for you if you need me.

1541. And...

1542. I love you.

1543. Anyway, I gotta go.

1544. Okay, fuck off. Bye.