Shazam! (2019)

1. Thad...

2. I said no toys at Grandfather's.

3. But it's Christmas.

4. - Stop it! - Hey.

5. Hey, Dad!

6. Hey! Thad,

7. you can't go crying to other people all the time.

8. A man needs to know when to stand up for himself.

9. Dear Magic-Isn't-Real Ball,

10. will Thad ever be a man?

11. Ouch.

12. "Outlook not so good."

13. You broke it.

14. Dad? Sid?

15. Someone help me!

16. Help!

17. Hello?

18. Thaddeus.

19. Thaddeus Sivana.

20. Who are you?

21. How do you know my name?

22. I am the last of the Council of Wizards.

23. Sworn to protect the realms from the Seven Deadly Sins.

24. But years have passed,

25. and I grow weak.

26. That is why I seek a champion

27. to inherit my magic.

28. You want me to do magic?

29. With this,

30. all of my powers will become yours.

31. Ah. But first...

32. you must demonstrate that you're pure of heart

33. and strong in spirit.

34. He lies.

35. Don't be his champion.

36. We can give you power.

37. Take the eye.

38. Take it.

39. Your father thinks you're weak.

40. Show him your power.

41. Take the eye.

42. No.!

43. What?

44. What happened?

45. Only the purest of hearts can resist their temptations.

46. But you,

47. you will never be worthy.

48. Wait.

49. - I'm good enough, I swear! - What?

50. Let me back in!

51. Calm down, Thad!

52. - Don't open the door! - Stop it!

53. - Calm down. - Stop!

54. Hey, I'm gonna kill you, you little freak!

55. Stop... Oh!

56. I was just there.

57. This man, this wizard, he took me to a castle and...

58. Stop. Stop!

59. Stop it!

60. You miserable, whiny, little shit!

61. You could have killed us!

62. Do you understand that?

63. Dad?

64. Dad!

65. Dad?

66. You're okay.

67. You're gonna be okay.

68. You did this.

69. You did this!

70. No.

71. Dad.

72. Your magic grows weak.

73. Soon, you won't be able to contain us.

74. Seeking Spell,

75. find me one soul who is worthy.

76. No matter how long it takes.

77. Holy moly! The boys in blue!

78. Sure glad to see you.

79. I called as soon as I saw.

80. They're in there.

81. You stay here.

82. Police!

83. I saw 'em hide back in there.

84. - Police, coming in! - Police!

85. - There's nobody here. - What do you mean?

86. - It's a closet. - You really bought that, huh?

87. - Hey, no, no, no! - Hey!

88. Stop, stop, stop!

89. Open this up right now, kid.

90. That's a federal offense, kid. You can't do that!

91. Do not go in that car.

92. Come on, open the door. Please.

93. Please, come on.

94. Open this, right now!

95. Very good, very funny.

96. Very funny. That's great. That's hilarious.

97. Uh, Dispatch, we need backup at the Laurelwood shopping center, please.

98. Dispatch, cancel that request.

99. Some kid stole our walkie-talkies.

100. Walkie-talkies? How old are you?

101. No, no, no.

102. That's my lunch, kid!

103. Miss Batson...

104. I've been looking for you.

105. No. Gosh.

106. It's me. It's Billy.

107. Okay.

108. I want the tiger.

109. I know, honey, I know. But Mom's not exactly going pro here.

110. We got one!

111. But I wanted a tiger.

112. Oh, but this is the real prize, baby. See?

113. You can use that your whole life.

114. You'll always find your way.

115. I can't let the ball get away.

116. Mom?

117. Mom!

118. Mom!

119. Who are you with, bud?

120. Yeah, he says it's Billy Batson.

121. Hey, don't worry, kid.

122. I'm sure she'll come looking before too long, okay?

123. They always do.

124. Mom, I'm home.

125. Yes?

126. Yeah, uh, is this Rachel Batson?

127. Who's asking?

128. Um...

129. Yeah, see, the thing is...

130. I think you're my mom.

131. You sure about that?

132. Sorry to bother you.

133. Just had to take my lunch, huh?

134. You save me any fries?

135. Foster home in Pittsburgh reported you missing two weeks ago.

136. You're sending me back?

137. No.

138. They don't want you.

139. - Harsh. - You laugh,

140. but you've run from foster homes in six counties, Mr. Batson.

141. From good people

142. who want you, all in pursuit of someone

143. who arguably does not.

144. It's time someone looked you in the eye and told it to you straight.

145. I don't need parents to play make-believe with.

146. - I got a mom. - Yes.

147. You're some detective.

148. Seventy-three Batsons

149. between the ages of 28 to 40, and you've crossed out every one.

150. She's still out there. I know it.

151. There's a couple outside, Mr. Batson.

152. They run a group home.

153. I can take care of myself.

154. When you're 18.

155. Until then, I won't have you living on the streets,

156. looking for someone who never looked for you.

157. Give these people a chance.

158. 'Cause that's what they're giving you.

159. You're out of options.

160. I'm gonna skip the spiel.

161. Just know that me and Rosa, we get it.

162. We were foster kids back in the day.

163. Ooh, back in the Dark Ages.

164. Girl, I'm young at heart.

165. I got my finger on the pulse.

166. Yeah, that's a reference

167. to his blood pressure because he's old.

168. Billy, do you have any food allergies?

169. Gonna wish you did. Darla's cooking.

170. What?

171. We know how overwhelming it can all be.

172. New house, new faces.

173. All up in your face.

174. Just take it at your own speed.

175. Hello?

176. We're home.

177. That's what happens when you suck!

178. So much for the welcome party.

179. Yeah, that thing growing out of the couch

180. would be Eugene.

181. Is that him?

182. Oh, my gosh! Billy!

183. Whoa! Slow down, slow down.

184. Welcome home!

185. - And that's Darla. - I'm Darla.

186. Big hugger.

187. I noticed.

188. Die, die, die!

189. He doesn't mean that. It's a game.

190. No sodas after dark, remember?

191. Whoa. When did it get dark?

192. Oh, the poster. I made you one.

193. Come look! Oh, no!

194. Sorry, Pedro must've been working out.

195. His goal is to get swole.

196. Just one hit! Just one hit!

197. Here.

198. Yes, exactly why your math department is so uniquely suited for me.

199. Shut up! No!

200. I can't even with Eugene right now.

201. I'm sorry. Mary, hi. College interview.

202. I'm Billy.

203. What am I most excited about?

204. Oh! What a great question. I was hoping you'd ask.

205. What am I most excited about?

206. Mention you're a foster kid. Colleges eat that up.

207. What I'm most excited about is the campus experience.

208. As a foster child, I'm a big believer in finding family and friends

209. in the most unlikely of places.

210. I'm gonna miss that girl so much.

211. It's Caltech. It's a very prestigious school.

212. And also all the way in California.

213. But we don't have to talk about that right now.

214. It's a tough subject for me.

215. Do you like vegan food?

216. - Mmm-mmm. - Because, see, I love animals.

217. Oh, no! The Tofurky!

218. Oh, no, we may have to eat a real turkey!

219. - Is that... - It's okay.

220. Come, I'll show you your room.

221. It's a bit of a madhouse, I know, but it's fun.

222. Time to dance on your grave!

223. Watch the bum step. Pedro...

224. Say hi to Billy.

225. Don't take it personally. He's like that with everyone.

226. Freddy.

227. This is Billy Batson.

228. Make sure you make him feel at home.

229. - Okay? - Yeah.

230. Maybe don't say anything too weird?

231. Oh, one weird thing is,

232. did you know that Romans used to brush their teeth with their urine?

233. And apparently, it works.

234. Yep. Um...

235. Oh, it's a long way down.

236. Trust me, I speak from experience.

237. Victor pushed me.

238. They seem nice, but don't buy it.

239. It gets real Game of Thrones around here.

240. What?

241. Dude, I'm just messin' around.

242. It's, um, terminal cancer. I only have three months.

243. Kidding, again! You look at me, and you're like,

244. "Why so dark? You're a disabled foster kid. You've got it all."

245. Right?

246. Oh, yeah, that's the old Batarang.

247. I mean, it's a replica, but feel how sharp.

248. I could kill you in your sleep with that thing.

249. You more of a Supes guy?

250. Yeah, me, too. Behold, the holy grail.

251. One nine-millimeter round shot at Superman himself.

252. It's legit.

253. Probably worth, I don't know, five, six hundred, maybe more.

254. What's in the bag?

255. Hey, it's all good. It's good to maintain boundaries.

256. You don't gotta talk so much, you know.

257. Anyway, this place is great. You're gonna love it.

258. Dinner!

259. All hands on deck.

260. Thank you for this family.

261. Thank you for this day.

262. Thank you for this food, even if it's not steak filet.

263. Big school. 2,000 students, you might think,

264. "Wow, so many strangers."

265. But not if you think of them as possible future friends.

266. Then it's, "Wow, so many friends."

267. The principal, her name's Shirley. She's the best.

268. Next.

269. This is our security scanner.

270. Like in an airport. It's totally safe.

271. I know what it is.

272. - Does she always do this? - Mmm-hmm.

273. Silence makes me uncomfortable.

274. She's almost never uncomfortable.

275. Have a good first day, big brother.

276. Look, you don't have to hug me all the time.

277. We're not actually brother and sister, so...

278. I'm sorry.

279. - Hey. - Hey.

280. I didn't mean to make her...

281. I was overwhelmed, honestly.

282. He said I must be pure of heart.

283. He call himself a wizard.

284. He even dressed like a wizard from Harry Potter or some...

285. But you're saying that other people have experienced this?

286. In a sense, yes. Do you remember what he said to you?

287. He tested me.

288. There were these statues.

289. Their eyes, it's like they were looking at me, making me think things.

290. Horrible things.

291. And do these approximate what you saw?

292. Yes, that's exactly how I remember it.

293. I don't understand. How do you know...

294. Recurrent imagery has proven very common in cases of mass hysteria.

295. Mass hysteria?

296. I know. The term's a bit theatrical.

297. But take UFO sightings, for example.

298. Lights in the sky, flying saucers.

299. Isolated incidents of people who do not know each other...

300. The symbols.

301. Ask her about the symbols.

302. Sorry, Ms. Kwan. But as an example of recurrent imagery,

303. maybe you'll recall seeing

304. these symbols before the alleged abduction.

305. I don't remember any symbols, no.

306. I think I got it on video. There was something, um...

307. I remember the numbers on my alarm clock.

308. They kept shifting.

309. Video?

310. Show me the video.

311. Uh, Ms. Kwan, this is Dr. Sivana.

312. Um, one moment, I can send it.

313. Hello? Oh, my God!

314. Who's there?

315. Hello? What's going on? What's happening?

316. I 'm going to call the police!

317. Then this blinding light all around me

318. and I felt like I was getting pulled down into something.

319. It felt like a temple carved inside a mountain.

320. He looked exactly what you'd expect from a guy who calls himself a wizard.

321. and how you were brought there to save the world.

322. - Wearing a cape. - And there's no ceiling.

323. We ran the numbers again...

324. Dr. Sivana!

325. I appreciate your enthusiasm, but you're funding my project.

326. And when I'm interviewing, I don't wanna be interrupted.

327. Fifty-six recorded abductions.

328. - I never saw it. - Saw what?

329. Doctor, what is all this?

330. All these years...

331. I was convinced I had the incorrect sequence.

332. Or perhaps the wrong symbols

333. to open the door.

334. But on that woman's alarm clock, the seven symbols.

335. The sequence repeated itself seven times.

336. That's the difference.

337. Is this some sort of joke?

338. It may seem that way to you

339. because we're not in actuality studying mass hysteria.

340. What all these people have seen,

341. every single one of them, is absolutely real.

342. An alarm clock malfunctions

343. and your first thought is it's proof of a wizard?

344. - Hmm. - Come on, Dr. Sivana.

345. You can't believe any of this is real.

346. Why, yes.

347. Yes, I do.

348. I've been waiting for this moment for so long...

349. and now here we are.

350. You don't remember me, do you?

351. I remember you.

352. You were a boy.

353. And now you dare intrude in my kingdom.

354. Do you know what it's like for a child to be told you'll never be good enough?

355. No, you don't.

356. What you said to me all those years ago made me realize who I really was.

357. And you know something?

358. I am not pure of heart.

359. The wizard is too weak to stop us.

360. No!

361. No!

362. You never found your champion.

363. But we found ours.

364. You are the true champion.

365. They're using you.

366. You're nothing to them but a means of escape.

367. Through you, they'll spread their poison to everything they touch!

368. Make mankind turn on each other!

369. You seek a pure soul, old man,

370. but no one's worthy.

371. Flight or invisibility?

372. If you could have one superpower,

373. flight or invisibility, what would you pick?

374. I mean, everybody chooses flight. You know why?

375. So they can fly away from this conversation?

376. No, no. 'Cause heroes fly.

377. And who doesn't want people to think they're a hero, right?

378. But invisibility, no way.

379. That's pervy.

380. Spying around on people who don't even know you're there.

381. Sneaking around everywhere. It's a total villain power, right?

382. Then they did this study, and this is a real thing.

383. They asked people the same question. You know, what power do you want?

384. But this time, they made it so the answers were anonymous.

385. And most people, since they knew that it was secret, said invisibility.

386. And I think that's 'cause most people

387. don't feel like heroes on the inside, deep down.

388. You're gonna run away.

389. I mean, you stole my Superman bullet.

390. Dude, I get it. I get it.

391. You've been screwed over way too many times.

392. You don't trust anyone.

393. That's the thing about invisibility. You end up all by yourself.

394. I didn't steal your dumb bullet.

395. Hey. How was it today?

396. That good, huh'?

397. Whoa!

398. Oh, my God! Freddy.

399. Are you okay?

400. - You okay? - Yes. Yes.

401. What the hell?

402. - What is wrong with you two? - Oh, ho!

403. No way that's gonna buff out.

404. You gonna pay for that, Freeman?

405. For the dent you made almost hitting me?

406. Yeah, sure. Um...

407. You guys take these?

408. Brett, stop!

409. Don't touch my brother!

410. What, do you need your fake family to stand up for you?

411. - Stand up for yourself, Freeman. - Yeah, huh?

412. Hey, Freeman. Freeman, here, stand up.

413. Stand up for yourself.

414. What are you gonna do, go home and cry to Mommy?

415. Oh, yeah. You don't have a mommy.

416. Man, sorry about that.

417. That wasn't fair, but then again you don't fight fair, so...

418. Back off, assbags. I know how to use these things.

419. Hey! He's getting away! Where you going?

420. Freddy, are you okay?

421. Hey, let's go through the back.

422. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

423. Nowhere to run!

424. - Go, go, go! - Grab him! Move!

425. - Get out the way. - Move, woman!

426. Whoa!

427. No, no, no.

428. You're dead, kid.

429. Yeah, you think you're funny.

430. We know where you go to school, buddy!

431. Woman on PM Next stop, 30th Street Station.

432. Change for the regional rail lines.

433. Uh... Hello?

434. What's going on?

435. Help!

436. Okay.

437. Holy moly.

438. Hello?

439. What the hell?

440. Who's doing this?

441. Hi. Um...

442. I was supposed to get off at 30th.

443. Billy Batson.

444. How'd you know my name?

445. I am the last of the Council of Wizards.

446. Keeper of the Rock of Eternity.

447. You're...

448. that guy.

449. Hey, listen, I don't have any money.

450. Do not patronize me, boy.

451. You are standing in the source of all magic.

452. The Rock of Eternity. Seven thrones of seven wizards.

453. But long ago, we chose a champion

454. and we chose recklessly.

455. He used his power for revenge,

456. releasing the Seven Deadly Sins into your world.

457. Millions of lives were lost.

458. Entire civilizations erased from existence.

459. That is why I vowed never to pass on my magic

460. until I find one truly good person.

461. Strong in spirit,

462. pure in heart.

463. Look, man, maybe this is magic

464. and, I don't know,

465. but the people you're looking for, good, pure people,

466. I'm not one of them.

467. I don't know if anyone is, really.

468. You, Billy Batson,

469. are all I have.

470. All the world has.

471. Lay your hands on my staff.

472. Gross.

473. And say my name so my powers may flow through you.

474. I open my heart to you, Billy Batson.

475. And in so doing, choose you as champion.

476. Thanks.

477. Real sweet of you, mister, but I really gotta get going.

478. My brothers and sisters were slain by the Sins.

479. Their thrones lie empty.

480. My magic must be passed on.

481. Now, speak my name!

482. I don't know your name, sir. We just met.

483. My name is...

484. Shazam.

485. Wait, for real?

486. - "Say it! - C)Kay!"

487. Jeez.

488. So just say it'? Like...

489. Shazam?

490. Yes!

491. Carry my name, and with it, you carry all my powers.

492. The wisdom of Solomon, the strength of Hercules,

493. the stamina of Atlas, the power of Zeus,

494. the courage of Achilles, and the speed of Mercury.

495. What happened to me? Why am...

496. What did you do to me? What did you do to my voice?

497. You have been transformed to your full potential, Billy Batson.

498. With your heart, unlock your greatest power.

499. The thrones of our brothers and sisters await.

500. Get me outta here!

501. Dope!

502. My brother, I applaud your choices today.

503. Gold shoes, gold belt, white cape.

504. It shouldn't work, but hot damn, it does!

505. Ow!

506. Hey, babe!

507. Yes, Officer.

508. I'm aware he's run away in the past.

509. Twenty-three times?

510. Guy's got no social media presence. At all.

511. The guy is a ghost.

512. You know, guys, I'm happy to look for Billy.

513. More than happy.

514. But no, you gotta wash the dishes. That's what's more important.

515. "What are you gonna do, Freddy, run after him?"

516. Very funny.

517. No, I said, don't scream.

518. - Uh... Victor? Victor! - No, no!

519. - Victor! - It's me. It's Billy.

520. It's Billy!

521. You asked me flight or invisibility. I thought that was stupid,

522. but now I look like this and I need your help.

523. Meet me back here after lights-out?

524. 'Sup, bud? You all right?

525. Yeah. Yeah. I'm just...

526. I'm really sad because Billy's gone.

527. And, you know, maybe it's my fault. Maybe I did it.

528. Uh, you know, maybe I snore.

529. Hey, hey, hey. Not your fault, son, all right?

530. We'll find him, 'kay?

531. You don't snore that bad.

532. But you kinda smell.

533. Oh, thank God!

534. Hey. Stop right there.

535. How do I know you're not a supervillain using telepathic abilities

536. to make me believe that you're Billy? Huh?

537. What?

538. All I have to do is press "dial" on this thing.

539. No! No., I have proof. I have proof. Here.

540. Look, I lied, okay? I took your bullet.

541. - Oh, no! No., no, no. - No!

542. Stupid adult hands.

543. But you saw it.

544. You saw it, right? Look, Freddy, I swear. It's me, okay?

545. Look, I know we're not really close friends or anything,

546. but you're the only person that I know

547. that knows anything about this caped crusader stuff.

548. - That's Batman. - What?

549. Forget it.

550. Can I...

551. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah.

552. On... on, my God!

553. It's crazy, right?

554. What are your superpowers?

555. Superpowers? Dude, I don't even know how to pee in this thing.

556. Okay. Can you fly?

557. Okay!

558. Let's do this.

559. How do we do this?

560. Just, um, like, Superman it.

561. Oh, my God. Obviously, you have to jump.

562. Come on.

563. How is any of this obvious?

564. Okay.

565. Try, uh, to believe that you can fly. Okay?

566. I read this deep dive

567. into peer-reviewed studies about superpowers

568. and in six out of ten, belief is the key.

569. Belief. Belief. Belief. Okay. Okay. I believe I can fly.

570. I believe I...

571. I believe I can fly.

572. I believe...

573. Whoa!

574. Did you believe?

575. Yeah.

576. You wanna try invisibility?

577. How do I do...

578. Forget it. You know, okay.

579. Okay, okay, okay.

580. Oh, my God! It worked!

581. Where'd you go?

582. I'm right here. You can't see me?

583. Where?

584. I'm invisible!

585. I'm right here. Over here.

586. I'm invisible! I'm invisible!

587. Nice outfit, dipshit.

588. I might've been testing invisibility

589. and super-intelligence at the same time.

590. Freeman, I'm gonna come over there and beat you.

591. Oh, my God! The lightning emblem!

592. It was staring us right in the face the whole time.

593. Literally!

594. Okay, okay.

595. Clearly, we gotta give you a lightning-themed superhero name.

596. Yeah.

597. Oh, right.

598. Hey, yo! Back...

599. off.

600. Hyper-speed, check.

601. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.

602. I thought you were the one who was screaming.

603. I doused him with pepper spray.

604. Smart move.

605. Yeah, hey, Mr. Mugger Guy. Give the old lady her purse back.

606. I'm your age.

607. And he didn't get a chance to take it 'cause I didn't let him take it.

608. Good. Yeah, good. You're really on top of this stuff.

609. And that should teach you that old ladies...

610. Regular-aged ladies like yourself don't need your protecting, right?

611. So get woke, bro.

612. I'm sorry, who are you?

613. His name is Thundercrack,

614. hero to the people with all the power and speed of lightning all in one.

615. Dude, that sounds like a butt thing.

616. Mister Philadelphia.

617. That's a cream cheese thing, dude!

618. Power Boy. 'Cause he's got all the powers.

619. 'Cause sometimes pepper spray can't protect against evil.

620. Power Boy, do you know this child?

621. Like a teeny little bit. I don't really know...

622. Yeah. He's like a little miniature manager.

623. I'm his manager.

624. But Power Boy's not gonna work, either, okay? So work on something else.

625. Hey, bud, what could...

626. Electricity manipulation, hyper-speed, super-strength.

627. Dude, you're stacked!

628. You're almost as cool as Superman. Almost.

629. I didn't see you. I don't know what just happened here.

630. I don't wanna know. Just don't hurt me.

631. - I'm not doing it for the money. - Thank you for your kind donation.

632. No, no, no, but if you ever need any more help

633. just look for the superhero that still can't fly.

634. Forget flying, man. We just made 73 bucks!

635. Seventy-three bucks?

636. Come on!

637. Hey, wait a minute.

638. I just got an idea.

639. I'd like to purchase some of your finest beer, please.

640. I don't know about this. I mean, we don't have a fake ID even.

641. Freddy, Freddy, would you relax?

642. Look at me. Lam the fake ID.

643. Everything from the register!

644. Go, go! Now!

645. Come on! We don't have any time. Let's go. Move!

646. We want it all! Hurry.

647. This is your chance.

648. Oh! Okay.

649. Come on, come on, come on! Let's do this!

650. That's it. That's it.

651. Gentlemen,

652. why use guns when we can handle this like real men?

653. Billy, look out!

654. Bullet immunity. You have bullet immunity!

655. I'm bulletproof.

656. Today is December 8th,

657. and this is video proof of authenticity.

658. Shoot him again.

659. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Here, here. Go. Both of you!

660. Come on. Go to town.

661. Wait, wait, wait.

662. We still don't know if the suit is bulletproof,

663. or if you are.

664. Shoot him in the face.

665. Shoot me in the face. In the face?

666. It kinda tickles.

667. You're dead.

668. - Sorry about your window. - Have a good night!

669. But you're welcome for not getting robbed!

670. Come on! Let's get outta here.

671. - To fighting bad guys. - Yeah.

672. Bleh!

673. Ugh!

674. That tastes like actual vomit.

675. Hey, do you know habanero jerky,

676. if you eat enough of it, it can burn a hole in your stomach?

677. Worth it.

678. Yeah. Probably not you, though. You've probably got stomach superpowers.

679. Probably. Oh, hey.

680. What's up? I'm a superhero.

681. Yeah, his name is, uh,

682. Captain Sparklefingers.

683. No, it's not. No, it's not! That's not my name.

684. Hey, we should hang out. We're, like, the same age.

685. Oh, okay. I'm out.

686. Hey, wait up!

687. I mean, it's a pretty sick view.

688. I totally get why Rocky was training so hard to get up here.

689. You know, I like you like this. This is so cool.

690. I mean, no offense,

691. but, like, at first you were kinda like the opposite of how Darla is.

692. A dick?

693. Your words. Not mine.

694. But yeah.

695. All right, well, I feel like every criminal

696. is either on drugs or asleep by now.

697. Wanna head home?

698. Looking like this?

699. Well, yeah,

700. I mean, usually, we'd have a lair to go back to,

701. but that's long-term.

702. Right now, we have a bunk bed.

703. Just scares me thinking of him out there all alone.

704. This is what he does, Rosa.

705. Difference is, when they find him, we'll be the first to take him back.

706. With open arms.

707. Didn't even make it two days. Not even two days.

708. Baby, we did our fair share of running off back when.

709. At least I did.

710. - Yeah. - Even Mary did it.

711. Hmm? Twice.

712. That second time she ran off,

713. you said something to me I'll never forget.

714. You said,

715. "It's not a home until you call it a home.

716. It's something you choose."

717. All we can do is give him a place full of love.

718. Whether he chooses to call it a home, that's up to him.

719. Yeah.

720. You gonna help me with this tree?

721. This tree's so sad.

722. Hello?

723. Got lost finding the bathroom.

724. Oh, okay, Freddy, sweetie. Good night.

725. - Good night. - Night.

726. Freddy, who is that?

727. It's Billy. He's just really tired and he has laryngitis.

728. What? Laryngitis!

729. I'm just kidding! I'm just kidding.

730. He's really, really tired, and he wants to go to beddy-bye.

731. - Beddy-bye? Who says beddy-bye? - Just hide, hide.

732. Billy, you're back. Let us see you.

733. We've been so worried about you.

734. I told you this was a bad idea!

735. Freddy?

736. Freddy, what happened to the stairs?

737. Mmm!

738. Hey! Covering her mouth like you're gonna kidnap her

739. is not gonna make her less scared, okay?

740. Darla, it's me. It's Billy. I know I don't look like me.

741. - A wizard made me look like this. - Maybe don't start with "wizard."

742. It's just gonna make her more confused.

743. Some old guy brought me to a temple and he made me say, "Shazam."

744. Rosa!

745. Verbally triggered body-manipulation properties!

746. You can switch by saying, "Shazam."

747. Baby, was that you? Are you okay?

748. Uh...

749. I was screwing in a bulb.

750. Listen to me, Darla. You cannot tell anybody about this, all right?

751. But it's Billy. He's a hero.

752. Yeah, but if a supervillain finds out that he's a hero,

753. that endangers us, okay?

754. A hero's loved ones are the perfect bad guy target.

755. I mean, is she even good at keeping secrets?

756. - Moderate. - No.

757. Oh, God.

758. Okay, listen, D,

759. you cannot tell a single soul about this, all right? Please?

760. Why? What if it's people we trust?

761. Because good sisters don't tell secrets.

762. - I'm a good sister. - Yeah, you are.

763. You know what'd make you an even better sister?

764. Is if you fixed the doorknob for us, okay?

765. Yeah.

766. - Sweet dreams. - Sweet dreams. Bye.

767. - See you in the morning. - Good night.

768. Hello, sir. How may I help you?

769. Hi. Sir?

770. Sir, you can't go in there. Excuse me!

771. You cannot go in there!

772. Sorry I'm late.

773. Thad, this is for board members only.

774. I'm aware of that, Father.

775. Now, that night in the car.

776. I swore to you I saw something, but you never believed me.

777. So much easier to blame me, wasn't it?

778. And say that if I hadn't screamed that night,

779. you'd still have your legs.

780. Well, now I have proof.

781. That's enough, Thad.

782. Dear Sid, you think?

783. You know, even before the accident, you belittled me.

784. Don't make me throw you outta here, Thad.

785. You don't need to make a scene.

786. Oh, brother,

787. the scene has only just begun.

788. Ask that if you can throw me out.

789. What?

790. Ask the ball if you're man enough to throw me out of this room.

791. Let me spoil it for you.

792. Outlook not so good.

793. I've come here during the season of giving to give you...

794. what you deserve.

795. Run!

796. Oh, my God! No!

797. No! No!

798. Help!

799. Somebody!

800. Help me!

801. You can't go crying to other people all the time.

802. What sin best befits you, Father? Hmm?

803. I'll give you anything.

804. Money.

805. The company. You want the company?

806. There it is.

807. Greed.

808. Do you honestly think

809. all this material you've accumulated

810. amounts to actual power?

811. This is power.

812. More than you ever had.

813. More than anyone has.

814. There is one more powerful.

815. The wizard found his champion.

816. Kill the champion before he learns his true potential,

817. or he will defeat you.

818. Show me where to find him.

819. Oh, Greed,

820. you can have him.

821. No.

822. No... Oh, no!

823. No.! No! No!

824. Family is more than just a word.

825. At Sivana Industries, our focus is family.

826. Uh, Burke.

827. Where's the truck?

828. I can hear it.

829. Oh, my God!

830. My truck!

831. - My truck! - Are you kidding?

832. You know, guys,

833. I don't think that's gonna buff out.

834. Making the crippled kid do the dirty work. Wow!

835. I'm a better lookout. I can play innocent.

836. And I can't?

837. Your face gives off a very strong vibe of someone who's hatching schemes.

838. - My face? This face? - Yeah. Yeah.

839. Okay.

840. You boys got a hall pass?

841. Oh, us? Yeah. Always.

842. You!

843. You look like you're up to something.

844. Me? Up to something?

845. No. Never am I up to something.

846. Our dad's picking us up. He got held up at the...

847. The business office.

848. The business office, huh?

849. Sure, kid.

850. Look, parents or guardians

851. must appear physically to check out students.

852. Gotcha.

853. Okay, well, you hear that, Dad?

854. - Hey! - Shazam!

855. Well, hey there, son,

856. and hey there, other son that I also have

857. that's related to that son I just passed in the hallway.

858. I'm so sorry I'm late. I got held up at the business office,

859. doing all the work stuff.

860. This is the security guard all the kids admire so much.

861. Actually, that's the other one. This one sucks.

862. That's not funny.

863. I'm gonna talk to him about that. I apologize.

864. Anyway, this is me appearing physically to check my sons out of school.

865. So, thank you so much for keeping 'em safe, Detective Moron.

866. It's Moran.

867. - You ready? - Algebra!

868. Science!

869. English!

870. Health!

871. Oh. Oh.

872. Are you okay?

873. I'm sorry!

874. More powerful than a locomotive.

875. Locomotive. What are you? An old prospector?

876. Can leap tall buildings in a single bound.

877. Single bound.

878. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!

879. I'm sorry, people. Hi.

880. - Your phone's charged. - Wow!

881. Your phone's charged.

882. Your phone's charged.

883. You really need like a mic drop catchphrase after you do some cool shit.

884. I've been thinking about that.

885. What about this?

886. "That's why you don't mess with electricity."

887. Catchphrases obviously aren't one of your superpowers.

888. And your phone's charged.

889. - Well, you think you can do better? - What the hell?

890. Let there be light.

891. Yeah, yeah, baby. Yeah, baby, okay.

892. How do I... Never mind.

893. Shazam!

894. Shazam!

895. What'd you see? What'd you see? Were there boobies?

896. You see nipples? Why aren't you talking?

897. We're gonna need more money.

898. Why? You were in there for, like, five minutes.

899. Dude, they were very convincing!

900. Oh, get it, get it!

901. Go, go, go!

902. No.!

903. Stop! No!

904. - I'm not even looking! - Stop!

905. - I'm not even looking! Oh! - Stop!

906. - Why? - Oh, and done!

907. Finished him.

908. A lair.

909. Yes.

910. And obviously, we're gonna have to

911. - be making this purchase anonymously. - Mmm.

912. Obviously.

913. And, um, if you have a location on a cliff.

914. Like a castle-esque type thing.

915. - Overlooking some water. - Overlooking some water,

916. seas, below it. Rough, you know...

917. Like a waterfall,

918. - so you can drive into... - Waterfall, yeah. If you... Yeah.

919. Look, Maximum Voltage, is it?

920. You can call me Max.

921. Look, Max, why don't you just start with how many bedrooms you're looking for?

922. - One! - Seven.

923. - One? - Seven?

924. What, am I running a foster home now?

925. Have you seen the one where he throws the football into space?

926. So dope.

927. Hey, you guys gotta wonder who's filming those, right?

928. I mean, that's bravery in and of itself.

929. I mean, is it, though?

930. Yeah. I'd actually argue maybe even more brave.

931. Holding a camera?

932. Staring in the face of danger.

933. Like some weirdo fanboy.

934. Hey, Freeman.

935. I wouldn't do that if I were you.

936. What, is your bestie gonna hit us with a wheelchair this time?

937. No, maybe not him, but I have another best friend

938. who might hunt you down and destroy both of you.

939. Okay, Freddy.

940. You may have heard of him. The Human Power Storm.

941. Frequency Flinger. Sir Zaps-A-Lot.

942. Yeah. He's a man of many names.

943. You know the Red Cyclone?

944. You? My ass you do.

945. Oh, we're a lot closer than you think.

946. Maybe even at this very moment.

947. Prove it.

948. I will, tomorrow. Tomorrow he's gonna come to lunch.

949. Right, right, Billy?

950. Oh, yeah, and then Superman's gonna be bringing us dessert, right?

951. Tomorrow at lunch. You'll see.

952. And when he doesn't show, then we'll kick your ass.

953. So, wait, my identity's a secret so no one I know can get hurt.

954. Except when it makes you look cool, then it's all good.

955. Billy, it's not like they're supervillains.

956. They're just super douchebags.

957. So, you're breaking your own rule?

958. Got it.

959. This thing is as much as mine as it is yours.

960. Starting to think you think it's all your thing.

961. Billy, you're still gonna do it, though, right?

962. I mean, what would a good brother do?

963. All hands on deck.

964. Thank you for this family. Thank you for this day.

965. Thank you for this food. Sorry Billy's hand's on vacay.

966. Big news in Philly. Got a costumed hero.

967. He's doing good.

968. Yeah, but is he, though?

969. Ooh! Controversy. Into it.

970. Share with us your perspective, Eugene.

971. Just saying, he's what? Charging people's phones?

972. So what? I can charge a phone with a plug.

973. Preach.

974. Pedro, any thoughts?

975. Costume's stupid.

976. - Yeah. - Okay.

977. Big white cape like he's getting married or something.

978. What if he didn't get to pick his costume?

979. Ever think about that?

980. You're a specialist, Freddy. What do you think?

981. Yeah, Freddy, let's manage to see the positive.

982. Okay, Well, I think it looks like

983. he doesn't have gratitude for what he's been given.

984. Very specific. All right.

985. Maybe to the superhero,

986. gratitude doesn't mean having to be clingy.

987. Clingy? Wow, interesting take.

988. You know, maybe sometimes a superhero just wants a little me time.

989. You know, me time could also be construed as pushing away his family.

990. Family. Ls that what they are now?

991. It's a classic symptom of "Superhero Syndrome."

992. Coined by German psychologist Heinrich Von German-something,

993. where superpowers become an all-consuming narcotic.

994. Son, we're still eating dinner.

995. What he needs is a sidekick.

996. Name one cool sidekick.

997. Darla, why are you so quiet over there, baby?

998. You're never at a loss for words.

999. I'm eating.

1000. Why am I still doing this?

1001. Well, you can't skip every day.

1002. Not at your age.

1003. But I'm not your age anymore.

1004. But I can go with you.

1005. We just gotta trick the guard out, you know?

1006. Billy, where are you going?

1007. You're still gonna have lunch with me, right?

1008. Billy!

1009. Sir Zaps-A-Lot's still gonna eat in the cafeteria, right?

1010. All right.

1011. Did you check it to...

1012. People typically give me a little money, you know...

1013. You're a sweet couple. You guys have a good day.

1014. - Oh, my God. - Mary, are you okay?

1015. How do you know my name?

1016. Uh... How do I know your name? Uh...

1017. One of my superpowers is name guessing.

1018. Which is really weird, I bet.

1019. Uh, it's not as cool as super-strength or super-speed,

1020. but it's really helpful when I meet new people.

1021. Are you hurt?

1022. No, I'm okay. Thank you. Um...

1023. I just need a second to think.

1024. This has been such a weird day.

1025. Um, using my powers of super-observation,

1026. I see that you're holding a letter from a college in your hand.

1027. Are you upset because you didn't get in?

1028. I got in.

1029. Well, now my superpowers are failing me and I am very confused.

1030. Yeah. Me, too.

1031. I don't know. I know I should be excited

1032. 'cause this is my dream and I've worked really, really hard for this,

1033. but it's like...

1034. I don't know. Leaving my family does not feel fun, you know?

1035. Could I give you a little piece of advice?

1036. Don't be worried about everybody else. Always look out for number one.

1037. Gandhi said that.

1038. - I don't think he said that. - Yeah, he did.

1039. - Gandhi did not say... - Somebody like Gandhi said that.

1040. "Take care of number one."

1041. It was a really wise... It might've been Yoda.

1042. - Listen. - I'm sorry, no.

1043. Agree to disagree. The point is, you do you, you know?

1044. You gotta look out for you. And get as far away from this place as you can.

1045. I don't know if I want to.

1046. Of course you do. What're you gonna do?

1047. You gonna live in a group home for the rest of your life?

1048. Look, families are for people

1049. who can't take care of themselves, okay? So...

1050. And you can take care of yourself.

1051. Also, look both ways when you cross the street.

1052. I'll just call him. I'll just make sure.

1053. It's ringing.

1054. Red Cyclone, hey! Hey, what's going on?

1055. Oh, that's crazy! Yeah, it's Freddy, by the way.

1056. Yeah, it's crazy! Great story.

1057. He's not talking to anyone.

1058. I was!

1059. I was! We're friends. I know him, I do!

1060. I know him! I know him! Uh, yeah.

1061. Shit.

1062. Come on now.

1063. Hands! Lightning with my hands!

1064. Lightning with my hands!

1065. Lightning with my hands!

1066. Hey. HEY-

1067. Hey, young man! Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

1068. What are you doing? I'm in the middle of a show right now.

1069. How can I help you?

1070. I just wanted to say thank you for showing up to lunch today.

1071. Yeah, I got a little something called a, uh, suitcase wedgie, right?

1072. I don't know if you've ever heard of it,

1073. but it's when someone grabs your underwear like that

1074. and holds you like a suitcase, walks you down the hallway.

1075. And this was my underwear.

1076. Gross.

1077. You said you'd come.

1078. You said I would come! I never said I was...

1079. I'm a superhero, dude!

1080. Well, you're acting real heroic.

1081. How much people paying you today?

1082. Listen, I have serious responsibilities now, okay?

1083. But that's cool because I can carry that burden with my...

1084. Hands! Lightning with my hands!

1085. Oh, man!

1086. Holy moly.

1087. Don't move! Nobody move!

1088. Oh, no, no!

1089. Oh, no, no, no! Stay, stay! Stay!

1090. Oh, that looked like it hurt.

1091. It's him! It's that superhero guy!

1092. Help us! Save us!

1093. Come on!

1094. Come on... Yeah.

1095. What's he doing? What's going on?

1096. No way.

1097. Oh, no, no. Please don't make me do this.

1098. God, this is the worst idea ever!

1099. I did it! I did it!

1100. I got the bus! I got the bus.

1101. Nobody move in there.

1102. Oh, I gotta put this thing down. I gotta put this thing down.

1103. Oh, no, no, no, no. Doggy, doggy, you have to move.

1104. Move! Move! Shoo! Shoo!

1105. Please be a good dog, good dog!

1106. You're being a bad dog!

1107. Go! Go!

1108. Please go. Please move.

1109. Yes, thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

1110. Thank you.

1111. Yeah. Yeah, no, no, no, no.

1112. I was in the neighborhood, you know, so I thought...

1113. Thank you!

1114. It was kind of my fault anyway.

1115. So, it seems Philadelphia has gotten an early Christmas present

1116. in the form of its very own superhero.

1117. And we're out.

1118. - Thank you very much. - Oh, of course, yeah.

1119. Dude! Dude, dude! Dude, did you see that?

1120. Yeah. You electrocuted a bus and almost killed these people.

1121. And then I caught it!

1122. Freddy, I caught a bus with my bare hands, man!

1123. I caught a bus like people catch fly balls.

1124. Like, who does that? I do that!

1125. Billy! You do nothing.

1126. You take selfies and make people pay you.

1127. You know, forget it. I can't really talk to you when you look like this.

1128. You just wish it was you.

1129. No shit!

1130. You think? I would kill to have what you have.

1131. Because everything I do is, like,

1132. some desperate attempt to get people to notice me.

1133. To not feel sorry for me.

1134. I mean, look at me! Look at me. Do you even see me?

1135. 'Cause most people don't. 'Cause they don't want to.

1136. And now you don't either.

1137. I mean, you think this is who you are?

1138. I mean, Billy, you're 14,

1139. and now you're no better than the Breyers.

1140. All this power, and all you did was turn into a show-off and a bully.

1141. Whatever, kid!

1142. I do what I want!

1143. And I'm, like, mid-20s probably!

1144. Maybe even, like, 30.

1145. Chosen one.

1146. The so-called perfect man.

1147. Pure of heart.

1148. Flawless in every way.

1149. What made you so worthy?

1150. I'm sorry, can I help...

1151. Do you want an autograph or something?

1152. Give me your power.

1153. Or die.

1154. Oh, snap! You're, like, a bad guy, right?

1155. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. Before this gets really stupid for you,

1156. you should know that I'm basically invincible.

1157. The weapons of man draw no blood from our kind.

1158. I said, stop right there!

1159. The only thing that extinguishes magic...

1160. is magic.

1161. Time to transfer your power to me.

1162. Oh, you did not see that one coming, did you, grandpa?

1163. Them's street rules.

1164. Okay, okay, okay.

1165. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

1166. I never should've punched you in the nuts like that.

1167. That was totally my bad.

1168. We can talk about this.

1169. You grovel like a child.

1170. That's because I am one. I'm a kid!

1171. You don't wanna hurt a kid, do you?

1172. I believe I can fly! I believe I can fly, I can fly!

1173. Freddy said if I believe I can fly, then I can fly.

1174. So I believe! I believe! I believe!

1175. Okay.

1176. Superman!

1177. Superman! What arm is it?

1178. Why am I not flying?

1179. Please, I don't wanna die!

1180. I'm floating!

1181. What the hell was that?

1182. I can fly!

1183. Billy?

1184. Freddy! I need your help!

1185. You can fly?

1186. Who's the other guy?

1187. Santa!

1188. So, like, what do you and Mrs. Claus do in the summertime?

1189. Well, in some ways,

1190. Santa is always here for you.

1191. Help Santa!

1192. Santa needs help! Help!

1193. Give us a shout if you need us.

1194. I'm just gonna chill in here for a little while, if that's okay.

1195. This is crazy.

1196. This is crazy. You don't have to fight this guy.

1197. This isn't your job. You can run, right?

1198. Yes, you can run. Awesome!

1199. Get back!

1200. Get away!

1201. - I'm Batman! - Get him, Batman!

1202. Oh, sorry.

1203. Come on!

1204. Shazam!

1205. Billy!

1206. Billy!

1207. Billy, where are you?

1208. Billy!

1209. Where are you, Billy?

1210. Billy, come on!

1211. Billy. Where is he?

1212. Supervillain.

1213. Supervillain! Supervillain!

1214. Worse. Much worse.

1215. Radioactive anthromorph? Psychic energy manipulator?

1216. I won't let you read my mind. My mind is blank. You can't get in.

1217. I don't need to read your mind. Because you are going to tell me.

1218. Where is he?

1219. Oh, my God, honey, are you okay?

1220. - Are you okay? - Yeah.

1221. What happened? Are you hurt?

1222. Come inside.

1223. We need to have a talk.

1224. Just don't be so hard on him, okay?

1225. Running out on us! Lying!

1226. Huh? Then I get a call from the school, telling me you've been cutting class!

1227. Getting in fights!

1228. Bill, the man saved nine people.

1229. Whoa! ls that...

1230. I'm questioning his motive.

1231. What's Freddy doing with a superhero?

1232. Or what's a superhero doing with Freddy?

1233. You remember dinner,

1234. when Billy and Freddy were arguing like an old married couple, like this?

1235. When he rescued me, he knew I lived in a group home.

1236. He knew my name. He called me Mary.

1237. Wait, are you saying Billy's the Human Power Storm?

1238. Yes! You guys figured it out!

1239. All on your own. I didn't help.

1240. - I didn't break any promises. - You knew?

1241. I'm a good sister!

1242. I mean, what were you thinking?

1243. And then you bring Freddy into it.

1244. Give him some space, guys. He's a little upset, okay?

1245. Billy?

1246. You're him.

1247. You're the hero.

1248. Yeah, well, not anymore, so...

1249. Why do you have my notebook?

1250. Eugene finished your search.

1251. Look, I'm not a hacker, okay?

1252. But I have played Watch Dogs and Uplink.

1253. And maybe I did pick up a few skills, which maybe did get me

1254. into federal databases most people can't get into.

1255. Good for you, but I'm gonna go.

1256. Your parents' names are Marilyn and C.C. Batson.

1257. What?

1258. You were born in Zumbrota, Minnesota.

1259. They divorced when you were three.

1260. Your mom moved here that year. Twenty months later, you got lost.

1261. You never found them

1262. 'cause your dad's been in prison in Florida for ten years.

1263. And your mom's...

1264. What?

1265. Is she dead?

1266. She's two subway stops away.

1267. What?

1268. You know, you didn't find her because she reverted to her maiden name.

1269. Hey, Billy! Billy!

1270. - Victor, get the keys. - I got it.

1271. Kids, stay here in case Billy comes back.

1272. Come on. Inside, let's go.

1273. Wait. I thought we were running after Billy.

1274. No, we're gonna wait here for now.

1275. Billy?

1276. Freddy?

1277. Oh, how quaint.

1278. Actually, I take that back.

1279. What a shithole.

1280. Just a second.

1281. Hey, look, I'm late for work already, all right?

1282. We don't need any magazines or whatever. Thanks, though.

1283. Oh, I'm not.

1284. You probably don't recognize me...

1285. but I found my way home.

1286. Mom.

1287. It's me.

1288. Oh, God.

1289. Is it?

1290. Um... Hang on.

1291. Who's at the door?

1292. It's, um...

1293. It's no one, Travis.

1294. That wasn't Dad, was it?

1295. No.

1296. Listen, um...

1297. It's really you, huh?

1298. I didn't mean to run away. You know that, right?

1299. I let go, but it was by accident.

1300. Yeah, no. I know, yeah.

1301. I saw you.

1302. What?

1303. I saw you after.

1304. So, it was never your fault.

1305. Look, I was 17, okay? And my daddy kicked me out.

1306. And your dad just decided not to be a part of anything.

1307. And I was hurting, and I was screwed up.

1308. - I want the tiger. - I know.

1309. I know, honey,

1310. but Mom's not exactly going pro here, okay?

1311. Billy?

1312. Billy!

1313. Billy?

1314. Jesus Christ. Billy, this isn't funny!

1315. Here you go, buddy.

1316. That should warm you up. Ls that better?

1317. Look, it's just once I saw you with the police,

1318. I realized that they could do

1319. a better job taking care of you than I ever will.

1320. But you're good, right?

1321. I mean, you landed on your feet.

1322. Because, I mean, you look real good.

1323. It's just...

1324. now is not a really good time for me, Bill.

1325. All I wanted to do is let you know I'm doing good,

1326. but I have to get back to my real family.

1327. Here.

1328. What's this?

1329. Marilyn! What's goin' on out there?

1330. You might need it more than me.

1331. Freddy, you were right. I'm sorry I yelled at you.

1332. Come home, Billy. Come home.

1333. - Billy! Supervillain! - Supervillain!

1334. Shazam!

1335. Who are you? What do you want?

1336. What do I want?

1337. I want...

1338. That.

1339. Whoa.

1340. Kick his ass, Billy!

1341. Yes, Billy.

1342. Try it, by all means.

1343. Let them go and I'll come inside.

1344. No, first, you come inside,

1345. then maybe I'll let them go.

1346. Good boy.

1347. Because that's all you are, isn't it?

1348. How old are you?

1349. - Basically 15. - Hmm.

1350. When I was a child, the old man told me I wasn't good enough.

1351. Yet here you are, a coward.

1352. Run from me and the wizard chooses you? You're not a hero.

1353. But I'm gonna give you the opportunity to be one.

1354. Give me the power of the champion.

1355. No. Don't do it, Billy.

1356. Give me the power and I'll let them go.

1357. Darla, no.

1358. Don't go, Billy.

1359. - Don't go, Billy. - Darla, come here.

1360. No, I have to.

1361. It's what a good brother would do. Right?

1362. Billy.

1363. I dedicated my life to getting here.

1364. I scoured the earth.

1365. No one believed me.

1366. No one helped.

1367. Not the wizard.

1368. Not my family.

1369. I only had myself.

1370. I get it.

1371. I get what that's like.

1372. Feeling like you're all alone in the world.

1373. Stand.

1374. Feeling like there's that one thing, and if you could just find it,

1375. then you'd finally be good enough.

1376. Stand.

1377. The champion's name.

1378. Say it.

1379. Look, no offense, mister,

1380. but I don't think these things have your best interest at heart.

1381. Don't listen to this child.

1382. Take the staff.

1383. Hold it and say the champion's name.

1384. They're using you.

1385. You have to see that, that they are using you.

1386. Say your name.

1387. His name...

1388. is Captain Sparklefingers.

1389. And we're gonna keep throwing things at your big,

1390. fat, ugly-eyed head,

1391. until you let our brother go.

1392. Boy, am I glad I didn't sell that Batarang.

1393. - Pedro, is that a lamp? - It's an ugly one.

1394. Come on. Come on. Come on.

1395. Guys, I appreciate the thought,

1396. I really do, but I don't think your weapons are gonna help.

1397. You can put 'em down now.

1398. The door was right here.

1399. Billy, how do we get outta here?

1400. What, you think I know? I don't know.

1401. This way!

1402. Go, go, go. Follow Darla.

1403. Good job, Darla. Go, go, go!

1404. Kids?

1405. Why is this open?

1406. Freddy? Mary?

1407. Pedro, Pedro, come on.

1408. Freddy? Freddy, keep up.

1409. Darla, stay in front.

1410. We gotta hurry.

1411. Whoa!

1412. So many doors.

1413. One of these has to be a way out, right?

1414. Yeah, I would hope so.

1415. Not this one.

1416. Okay, no more doors. Nobody open any more doors.

1417. Come on, Billy. What are we gonna do?

1418. Darla, I don't know.

1419. Yes, you do. Just think. How'd you get out last time?

1420. Uh, last time, I thought about the subway, and I was on the subway.

1421. Okay. Then, Billy, look, think about the subway.

1422. Think about any place except for here, okay?

1423. Come on, come on, come on.

1424. Why are you covering my eyes?

1425. Really? This is the first place you think of? Wow!

1426. You're welcome!

1427. Why can't I see what's inside?

1428. You are not old enough.

1429. Old enough to know that was great music.

1430. Not my thing.

1431. Where's Freddy?

1432. Yeah, you, too, Sriracha.

1433. Hey, have a holly jolly Christmas.

1434. Freddy! What are you doing?

1435. Nice people.

1436. Nice people? Come on.

1437. Is that glitter? They have glitter! Can I get glitter?

1438. No, not from them.

1439. Please?

1440. No...

1441. Darla.

1442. Go, go, go. Everybody, go!

1443. Freddy? Freddy, Freddy.

1444. One, two, three. Up, up. Up we go.

1445. Carnival, go! Go, Mary, go.

1446. Come on, Pedro. Come on.

1447. Don't run, but don't walk. Just be cool.

1448. Act naturally, like kids naturally act in a carnival.

1449. - He's not gonna look for us here. - ls that him?

1450. - Oh, my God! - Dude, it's Zap-tain America!

1451. - Power Boy! - He's an impersonator, okay?

1452. Yeah, I'm an impersonator! I'm a fake version of myself.

1453. Don't take pictures.

1454. Shazam!

1455. Hey! Where'd he go?

1456. What, is he invisible now?

1457. Oh, man, I just spit on a baby!

1458. Yo, what is that?

1459. Who is that guy?

1460. Champion.

1461. You don't deserve that name.

1462. See that? Look at that up there!

1463. Hiding behind innocent people who will now die.

1464. Because deep down you're still just a scared little boy.

1465. Oh, no.

1466. Run! Run!

1467. - Oh! What do we do? - Just hold on!

1468. - To what? - The bar, you idiot!

1469. Well, you wanted me to be a hero.

1470. Are you kidding?

1471. Okay, no. Old guy's up there harboring multiple spiritual entities.

1472. Plus, he has the same powers as you.

1473. Plus, I mean, he knows what he's doing.

1474. Plus, I mean, you're my best friend. I don't want you to die.

1475. If a superhero can't save his family,

1476. he's not much of a hero.

1477. That was a decent catchphrase.

1478. Shazam!

1479. Now, let's try this again.

1480. Or try that again!

1481. Billy, look out!

1482. Laser eyes! Guys, he's got laser eyes!

1483. Too bad your aim sucks balls!

1484. That's his power matrix.

1485. His what-what?

1486. When the demon guys leave his eye, he loses his powers.

1487. That's why the Batarang hurt him.

1488. Over here!

1489. - Wait. What are you doing? - Trust me. Divide and conquer.

1490. We separate the Sins from the eye, and he's just an old man.

1491. Gather the mutts.

1492. Run!

1493. Darla, no!

1494. Here. Take it.

1495. Take it. It's for you.

1496. Hold it tight.

1497. Close your eyes. Everything's gonna be okay.

1498. - Okay? - Mmm-hmm.

1499. Okay.

1500. Shazam!

1501. Shazam!

1502. Playtime's over, boy.

1503. Your friends can't help you anymore.

1504. Shazam!

1505. Shazam!

1506. Nice trick.

1507. Catchy.

1508. One simple word.

1509. I have a better trick.

1510. Four words.

1511. Kill the little girl.

1512. - Darla, no! - Take me instead!

1513. Stop!

1514. Billy, there's one more demon guy in his eye!

1515. You gotta just rip it out of his face hole!

1516. It's where he gets his power.

1517. Reach for it.

1518. I dare you.

1519. Wise decision.

1520. Hands on the staff.

1521. Billy, don't do this. Billy!

1522. - Billy. - Don't do it, Billy!

1523. Don't!

1524. Say my name so my power may flow through you.

1525. I open my heart to you, Billy Batson.

1526. And in so doing, choose you as champion.

1527. With your heart, unlock your greatest power.

1528. The thrones of our brothers and sisters await.

1529. All hands on deck.

1530. Say my name.

1531. Billy!

1532. No, not my name.

1533. Say the name that I say to turn into this guy.

1534. Shazam!

1535. Guys.

1536. What's happening?

1537. I can fly!

1538. Guys.

1539. Check out these guns.

1540. No. It's not possible.

1541. Gee-whiz, mister. Sorry I took your cane.

1542. Do you want it back?

1543. Guys, I don't believe in violence,

1544. but I think we should kick this guy's butt, like, really hard.

1545. Whoa!

1546. Guys, I think I can move really...

1547. fast.

1548. Hyper-speed! Check!

1549. Billy! The eye!

1550. Look out!

1551. Whoa!

1552. What?

1553. - What! - Dude!

1554. You almost exploded me.

1555. Dude, I've studied the fighting techniques

1556. of every single superhero.

1557. What do you got?

1558. Well, that's terrifying.

1559. Enough games, boy.

1560. You think a pack of children can...

1561. Wait, what?

1562. You will beg for mercy

1563. as I feast on your heart...

1564. slow.

1565. Are you making some big evil guy speech right now or something?

1566. You're, like, a mile away from me right now. There's cars and trucks.

1567. I will have the world eating out of the palm of my hand...

1568. All I see is mouth moving. I don't hear any...

1569. Only I have the power to unleash...

1570. Ah, whatever. Screw it.

1571. Oh, my gosh. Those people!

1572. Hi!

1573. Wow. I caught you.

1574. I got it. I got it.

1575. Oh, my God. I do got it.

1576. You're not gonna believe this,

1577. but you're actually the first villain I've ever fought.

1578. It's kind of a huge deal for me.

1579. Somebody help!

1580. Hi. Wow. It's really you.

1581. My name is Darla, and I've been really good.

1582. What?

1583. Oh, crap.

1584. No, no, no.

1585. No, no. No!

1586. No! No, no.

1587. Oh, my God!

1588. ls he giving us suitcase wedgies?

1589. So this is, like, the Seven Deadly Sins, right?

1590. I mean, I've never been great at math,

1591. but, uh, the big, angry one, that's Wrath, yeah?

1592. And then Gluttony, obvi.

1593. Pride, Greed, Sloth, Lust,

1594. who I thought was gonna be way hotter, if I'm being honest.

1595. But that's only six. Where's lucky number seven?

1596. Where's little man? Where's Envy?

1597. Is he just scared of me and my family because we're so awesome?

1598. Because I get that.

1599. Like, the other sins, they get to come out and fight

1600. because they're big and strong and scary.

1601. But Envy...

1602. he's just the runt.

1603. And that's why all the other sins never invite him out to play, man.

1604. Because they all know who'd win.

1605. And it's not weak, worthless, ugly Envy.

1606. Gotcha.

1607. Shazam!

1608. Shazam!

1609. Ready to go round up your buddies?

1610. No. No.!

1611. Here's the thing about power.

1612. What good's power, if you got nobody to share it with?

1613. - Nice. - Ta-da!

1614. That's disgusting.

1615. Fatality.

1616. I got the voice.

1617. What's that?

1618. I can have anything I've ever wanted?

1619. Billy.

1620. No, no, no!

1621. - Stop it! - Don't look at that!

1622. Billy, don't do it!

1623. - You should hear yourselves! - Not funny.

1624. You think I'm gonna put a demon ball in my head?

1625. That's disgusting.

1626. That's funny. That's pretty funny. You got me going.

1627. - You got me going. - Uh... Guys.

1628. What?

1629. Oh. Hey.

1630. Oh, wow.

1631. All right, We did it!

1632. Hey, all right, yeah! We did it!

1633. We did it!

1634. Hey, you guys are all safe. There's no more danger anymore.

1635. - We're fine. It's okay. - All right, all right, all right.

1636. We're good.

1637. You sure this is gonna work?

1638. Told ya.

1639. Whoa!

1640. Whoa!

1641. You guys know what this place is, right?

1642. A dark, haunted cave with demon statues.

1643. Well, yes, but also...

1644. Lair! We got a lair!

1645. - Lair. - Yeah.

1646. No, you right.

1647. We got a lair.

1648. What's a lair?

1649. And thanks to six superheroes,

1650. citizens are back in their homes, safe again with their families.

1651. And here with an eyewitness account of the events...

1652. It was crazy, man!

1653. Creatures from hell!

1654. Lightning coming out of everyone's everything!

1655. And that is not cool, man!

1656. So, first day as a superhero.

1657. Automatic top spot for best ever.

1658. The man shattered the glass noodle ceiling.

1659. - No. That's racist. - Not if I say it.

1660. Guys.

1661. - All hands on deck. - Oh!

1662. Wait, wait, wait.

1663. Wait.

1664. Thank you for this food.

1665. Thank you for this day.

1666. Thank you for this family.

1667. I thought maybe this time I'd stay.

1668. I mean, after all,

1669. I'm home.

1670. He better not sit at our table.

1671. Nope!

1672. Okay.

1673. What are you doing?

1674. Waiting for your imaginary BFF to show up?

1675. Yeah.

1676. What are you guys doing here?

1677. Well, we're having lunch with you.

1678. But you guys have different lunch periods.

1679. Well, we made a very special arrangement.

1680. - Darla, what's going on? - Why are you asking me?

1681. Freddy Freeman.

1682. This guy taught me everything I know about being a dope superhero.

1683. True story. You should get some pointers from him.

1684. What's going on, my best bud in the whole world?

1685. And also new kids that I'm meeting for the first time but seem very cool?

1686. Uh...

1687. I invited another friend. I hope that's okay.

1688. Sun of Ra.

1689. Ouroboros.

1690. Solomon's...

1691. Knot.

1692. No! No.!

1693. Primitive symbols.

1694. You walking, talking monkeys with your cave drawings.

1695. You assume there's only one way to gain magic.

1696. No, no, no.

1697. There are more ways than a mind can imagine.

1698. What in God's name?

1699. I name the gods, Doctor. Not the other way around.

1700. Oh, what fun we're going to have together.

1701. The Seven Realms are about to be ours.

1702. Don't beat yourself up, buddy. You're gonna find someone.

1703. Yeah, I'm sure.

1704. Because there's plenty of fish in the sea.

1705. Of course it's not real. I can't talk to fish.

1706. Even if I could, I mean, honestly, what could we do with that that's cool?

1707. I don't know, maybe command an army of billions in the ocean.

1708. Oh, yeah. Well, that's not that cool.