1. Someone needs to stop Clearway Law.
Public shouldn't leave reviews for lawyers.
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2. What is the meaning of this check?
Do you want me to cheat?
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3. No. I'm just the middleman.
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4. Are you playing a joke on me,
or trying to cause trouble?
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5. Do you think you can
replace me if I fail?
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6. Look at this!
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7. I'm the only Golden Leg!
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8. - Make sure you remember that.
- It's not that.
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9. I just want a kickback.
Please don't tell anybody.
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10. You're trash!
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11. I'm sorry. Catch you later.
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12. Golden Leg! Golden Leg!
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13. You've been number one ever since
Fung got his golden leg broken.
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14. First as a player, then as a coach.
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15. I'm better than Fung ever was.
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16. Team Evil has won the Supercup
the last five years.
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17. - What's your secret?
- Secret?
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18. They just have the best coach.
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19. So you're confident
that your team will win again?
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20. Are you new?
Don't ask stupid questions.
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21. Good morning.
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22. Golden Leg.
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23. Hung! Good morning.
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24. Hung, your shoe's dirty.
Let me clean it for you.
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25. It's okay. I'll do it.
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26. Hung, I'll get the car.
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27. Hung, you said if I worked hard
I could coach my own team.
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28. I'm ready!
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29. I think I can train a team
to be as good as Team Evil.
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30. Do you really think
I'd let you coach?
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31. But you said-
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32. Get real.
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33. You're a joke.
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34. Take a look at yourself.
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35. This tattoo is all that's left
of your fame.
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36. Hung...
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37. I've served you for 20 years.
How can you say that?
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38. Let's be honest.
Things have changed.
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39. You used to be a great player,
but now you're nothing.
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40. I've had enough.
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41. I've kept you around for 20 years...
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42. but it's time for you
to take care of yourself.
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43. Hung!
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44. You've got a lot of nerve.
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45. If you hadn't tricked me
with a bad check 20 years ago...
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46. you'd be working for me right now.
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47. It was your idea to throw the game.
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48. Are you throwing a tantrum?
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49. Say it a bit louder.
Did you guys hear that?
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50. Make sure the reporters can hear it.
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51. Say what you want.
Take a look at yourself.
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52. Do you think anyone would believe
a crippled has-been like you?
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53. - You-
- Don't be angry.
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54. If you want to blame anyone,
blame yourself.
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55. Blame your own greediness.
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56. Get lost.
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57. One more thing...
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58. I hired that mob to break your leg.
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59. Yuppies.
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60. They're not very skilled
at playing soccer.
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61. What was that?
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62. I said...
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63. they're not very skilled
at playing soccer.
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64. You think you can do better?
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65. There must be a fusion
of mind and foot.
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66. What kind of fusion?
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67. My late idol, Master Bruce Lee...
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68. invented the ultimate kick.
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69. If you want to learn about it,
I'll give you kung fu lessons.
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70. Kung fu lessons?
You look like a janitor.
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71. My job as janitor is only temporary.
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72. I'm a postgraduate student.
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73. Postgraduate student?
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74. I'm trying to develop
an effective method...
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75. of promoting Shaolin kung fu.
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76. Here's my card.
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77. Authentic Shaolin school.
Mighty Steel Leg.
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78. Look! I know what I'm talking about.
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79. I don't need kung fu.
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80. I'm more of an intellectual.
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81. It doesn't matter.
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82. Look at this woman.
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83. Yeah, she's sexy. So what?
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84. No.
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85. Watch this!
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86. If she knew Shaolin kung fu...
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87. she wouldn't have fallen.
Get me?
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88. Shaolin kung fu
can work for everyone!
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89. Excuse me!
Do you want to learn kung fu?
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90. Are you crazy?
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91. Look over there.
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92. If she had studied Shaolin Iron Hand
parking would be much easier.
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93. Kung fu is wonderful.
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94. - Excuse me, do you want to learn-
- Here. Get lost.
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95. Hey, you should share that with me.
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96. Let's not fight. See that guy?
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97. What are you doing?
You're way too slow.
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98. That's it! You're fired!
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99. - I'm sorry.
- Get lost!
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100. If he knew Shaolin Flying Sword...
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101. he'd still have a job!
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102. You think Shaolin
is the answer to everything.
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103. There is nothing more powerful.
All kung fu derives from it.
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104. People have the wrong idea
about kung fu.
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105. It isn't really about fighting.
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106. Kung fu is a complete way of life.
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107. I'm looking for a good way
to show people...
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108. how it can make their lives better.
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109. - Enough already!
- But-
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110. I have important things to do.
I've heard enough.
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111. Please seize this opportunity!
Cripples can still learn kung fu.
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112. Who are you calling a cripple!
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113. This leg has kicked hundreds of goals.
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114. I'm sorry!
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115. Do you know who you're talking to?
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116. I'm the famous Golden Leg.
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117. You're...
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118. just a bum!
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119. - You think I'm impressed?
- Get these cans out of here.
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120. - Okay.
- Right away.
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121. Cheap trick.
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122. Get lost.
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123. Excuse me!
Can you help me move this?
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124. No problem!
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125. Your leg's amazing!
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126. Twenty cents!
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127. Only twenty cents?
How about an advance?
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128. No way! Get lost.
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129. Mui, ten steamed buns please!
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130. Using Tai Chi kung fu to make
steamed buns is a brilliant idea
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131. They look so sweet and tasty
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132. Your mastery is astonishing
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133. It shows in your every movement
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134. What are you doing?
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135. Singing is the best way for me
to express my greatest esteem.
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136. Wow, what a beauty!
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137. I'm not beautiful.
Don't laugh at me!
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138. I bet the steamed buns are wonderful.
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139. Delicious!
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140. Was that Shifting Bodies
and Transposing Shadows?
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141. No, it's Shove A Thousand Cattle
with Four Tails.
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142. Right!
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143. That's why the buns
are so tender, yet firm.
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144. Sixty cents each.
Two for a dollar.
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145. That much?
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146. They're worth every penny.
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147. This is all I have.
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148. - Can I pay tomorrow?
- No!
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149. Spoken with the grace and economy
of a true kung fu master.
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150. I'm a Shaolin master too.
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151. - Can I pay tomorrow?
- No!
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152. Okay!
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153. Here are some fine sneakers.
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154. I'll give them to you,
if you let me have one more bun.
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155. - I'll call the cops.
- Fine.
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156. Come on, give me a break.
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157. You're so beautiful.
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158. Shut up!
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159. Please stop singing.
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160. Just pay and get out of here.
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161. If you want to sing,
do it on the mountain.
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162. Only crazy people sing here.
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163. I disagree with the young lady.
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164. Just because you sing out loud here
doesn't make you a lunatic.
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165. My name is Dynamite.
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166. My dream is to become
a great composer one day.
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167. This gentleman's song
is very creative and sincere.
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168. - Thank you!
- You're welcome!
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169. I also love to sing.
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170. When I'm inspired
I feel so passionate...
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171. I could explode.
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172. My dream is to become
a great choreographer.
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173. Let's go!
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174. Have you lost your mind?
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175. Stand straight! Put your hands down!
Get to work!
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176. Lunatics!
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177. What's going on here?
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178. I never should have gone
for a facial...
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179. and left the place in your hands!
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180. What do you want?
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181. Relax. We were just having fun.
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182. I'm here for the buns.
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183. What about my buns?
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184. Okay! Okay! Just a minute!
Did that bum pay?
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185. He did.
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186. These are disgusting.
Get rid of them!
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187. First Brother!
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188. Okay, okay. Keep working!
Clean everything!
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189. Are you sick, First Brother?
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190. I've got a bit of a hangover.
What do you want?
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191. - I've had a revelation.
- A revelation?
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192. How to promote kung fu
in a brand new way.
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193. Not again.
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194. Singing!
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195. You know we're great singers.
You can't deny it.
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196. - Leave me alone.
- We owe it to our teacher.
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197. He's dead.
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198. - It's worth a try.
- Forget it.
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199. I told you to be down-to-earth.
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200. There's an opening here.
You can clean toilets.
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201. Don't waste your life
chasing dreams.
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202. Without dreams,
we're no different than anchovies.
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203. You are an anchovy,
you shoeless small fry.
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204. - Why chase your dream?
- Why not.
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205. The fire in my heart
can't be easily extinguished.
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206. Why not? Just blow it out.
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207. - But I can light it up again.
- Enough already!
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208. We both have our own lives.
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209. Please don't bother me.
I have to work to support my family.
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210. You're just going to forget about
your Iron Head after all that work?
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211. Never!
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212. I still practice my Iron Head...
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213. every single day!
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214. Fei!
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215. Boss.
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216. You idiot!
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217. You forgot to book
a band for tonight.
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218. - Don't worry, I have an idea.
- Tell me.
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219. Let's combine Shaolin kung fu
with singing and dancing.
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220. - What kind of Shaolin kung fu?
- Observe.
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221. Is he good enough
to perform on stage?
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222. - He's good enough.
- How about you?
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223. Me?
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224. Shit.
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225. How about your Iron Head?
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226. If you don't perform well,
I'll kill you tomorrow.
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227. - Sure.
- First Big Brother, thank you.
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228. - Shaolin kung fu is great
- Really great
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229. - Shaolin kung fu is wonderful
- Wonderful
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230. - I'm Iron Head
- Iron Head
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231. - He's Mighty Steel Leg
- Mighty Steel Leg
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232. Be serious!
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233. - Shaolin kung fu is great
- Really great
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234. - Shaolin kung fu is wonderful
- Wonderful
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235. - I'm Mighty Steel Leg
- Mighty Steel Leg
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236. He's Iron Head
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237. I'm choking.
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238. It sounds like you're
strangling a cat.
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239. This song sucks.
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240. You sounded like a dying animal.
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241. Who wrote that garbage?
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242. - Yeah, who?
- Who?
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243. Creative work is highly subjective,
so I'll accept your criticism.
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244. But it's only
the beginning of the show.
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245. Wait until we show you why we're called
Mighty Steel Leg and Iron Head.
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246. Iron Head?
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247. I told you the lyrics
were too intellectual.
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248. - I'm not Iron Head. He's-
- Iron Head?
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249. - Mighty Steel Leg!
- He's Mighty Steel Leg!
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250. That's your Mighty Steel Leg?
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251. - I'll kill you.
- Mighty Steel Leg.
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252. I'm the real Mighty Steel Leg.
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253. - Iron Head.
- Don't you understand?
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254. - He's the real-
- Iron Head.
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255. You're so stubborn.
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256. Do you want to fight
with a customer?
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257. Thank you so much.
Happy hour went by fast.
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258. It's time for us to say
good night right now.
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259. Let's listen to some music.
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260. You crazy guy.
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261. - Let's see how much you can take.
- Thank you.
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262. You're a bum.
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263. Come on. Nothing to see.
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264. You want some more?
Sure you want to fight us all?
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265. I promised my master
I'd never fight.
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266. I told you he'd wimp out!
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267. But I expect an apology!
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268. An apology?
You should apologize to us!
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269. You said you wouldn't use
kung fu to fight.
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270. I'm not here to fight.
I'm here to play soccer.
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271. So much for your kung fu-
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272. Don't be such a baby. What?
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273. I give up. I apologize!
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274. Do you have any change?
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275. Yes.
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276. Thirty cents.
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277. - Are you stealing my money?
- Yes.
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278. - Was that Praying Mantis Style?
- Yes.
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279. You should learn Shaolin instead.
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280. Can I see your leg?
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281. I don't care.
Do what you want.
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282. It's the real deal.
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283. It looks like an ordinary leg.
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284. It's Shaolin Mighty Steel Leg.
It's patented.
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285. You could use your kung fu
to play soccer.
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286. You think so?
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287. Yes, why not.
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288. Of course.
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289. That's a great idea. Kung fu soccer.
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290. Why didn't I think of that?
How do I go about it?
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291. You'll need my help.
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292. I'm Golden Leg, the soccer star.
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293. Now I'm a coach.
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294. - Great! You can teach me soccer.
- I don't know.
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295. It's a great idea.
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296. I'll think about it!
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297. There's nothing to think about.
We should start right now!
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298. We've got nothing to lose.
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299. It takes a lot of training.
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300. Let's do it! What do I need?
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301. A pair of shoes.
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302. Do you have the money for the buns?
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303. - No, but-
- I threw them out.
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304. Oh, my God!
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305. Those sneakers were a mess.
They were all worn out.
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306. I know, I know.
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307. If my boss sees you,
she'll start yelling.
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308. I couldn't bring myself to toss them.
I fixed them instead.
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309. First Brother, what's wrong?
Are you okay?
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310. I'm fine.
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311. What do you want?
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312. I finally found a great way
to promote Shaolin kung fu.
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313. Soccer!
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314. Please leave me alone!
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315. You got me into a lot of trouble.
They demoted me.
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316. Now I have to clean the toilets.
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317. - But we'd be great.
- No! Absolutely not!
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318. If you humiliate me again, my family
will commit suicide in front of you.
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319. Committing suicide
is not the answer.
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320. Be brave.
Believe in yourself.
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321. I'm a complete loser. Please!
Please don't ever come here again.
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322. If you want to form a soccer team,
just ask the other brothers.
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323. Please, no more!
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324. Hopeless.
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325. Good morning, Fourth Brother.
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326. Good morning, Sing.
How are you?
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327. Let me introduce you
to a great guy. He's-
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328. Nice to meet you!
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329. I'm Fung.
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330. It's an honor to meet
such a great businessman.
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331. - He's got a lot of style.
- Fung is a soccer coach.
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332. Soccer coach!
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333. The world famous soccer coach.
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334. You play soccer with your legs, right?
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335. So, do you have a job for me?
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336. - I want you to join my soccer team.
- Soccer team?
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337. I haven't had a job in six months.
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338. You can use your Empty Hand
to be the goalkeeper.
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339. What's Empty Hand?
It's been so long.
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340. You know, I even forgot
when our master died.
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341. Listen. We're going to sign up
for the Supercup Tournament.
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342. The prize is one million dollars.
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343. Really? You must be the smart one.
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344. You see? You're dressed up.
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345. Our master taught us
that kung fu was sacred.
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346. Now, you have this crazy idea
to use Shaolin for soccer.
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347. Look.
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348. This is the group picture
of our master and brothers.
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349. I keep it under my pillow.
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350. Great! Let's sit down
to talk about the picture.
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351. I'll call you.
Keep a spot open for me.
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352. Get lost! I really can't talk now.
My clients are waiting for me.
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353. I'm doing a million dollar deal.
Can you hear me?
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354. My driver's off today.
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355. I lent my car to a friend
and left my wallet in my office.
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356. I can't have lunch.
I never do.
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357. I'm late! Please leave me alone.
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358. Third Brother, you could use your
Iron Shirt technique as a fullback-
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359. What's Iron Shirt?
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360. Look. There are planes in the sky.
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361. There are computers everywhere.
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362. It's the 21 st century.
Please don't daydream.
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363. I think we should combine
kung fu with soccer.
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364. - We could win a lot of money.
- Are you crazy?
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365. There's no way I'm taking time off
to play soccer.
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366. Sorry, your odds are terrible.
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367. We don't know anything about soccer.
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368. And let's be honest.
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369. We wouldn't stand a chance.
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370. In fact, the probability
of winning is 0%.
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371. - Proba-
- Probability.
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372. Watch.
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373. If I toss a coin it will be heads
or it will be tails.
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374. The probability that we'd win is the
same as a coin landing on its edge.
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375. - Let me try!
- Get lost!
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376. I'm having lunch with a client!
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377. You said you never eat lunch.
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378. Time is money.
I've lost a lot just talking to you!
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379. He's Sixth Small Brother,
Weight Vest.
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380. This is the famous soccer coach, Fung.
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381. Fung, how are you?
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382. - Lead Weight?
- Shaolin Light Weight.
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383. Nice to meet you, Mr. Weight.
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384. Fifth Brother,
you want to play soccer?
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385. Yes. If you use your
Light Weight skills as a winger...
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386. - our offense would be perfect.
- Are you sure?
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387. - Of course.
- Great.
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388. Do they sell diet pills here?
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389. It's useless.
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390. Ever since the virus got into my brain,
I just can't lose any weight.
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391. I'm no longer able to use
Shaolin kung fu Weight Vest...
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392. and I can't run anymore.
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393. Okay, you're a little overweight,
but it's not that important.
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394. Forget it.
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395. This was me.
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396. I can't even get a date
looking like this.
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397. You don't know what it's like.
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398. - I do. I can't get a date either.
- Really?
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399. I've read stories about your dates
in newspapers and magazines.
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400. - What kind of papers and magazines?
- I'm sorry.
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401. I can no longer control myself.
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402. Please leave me alone.
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403. Small Brother!
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404. Believe in yourself.
I know you can do it.
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405. Everyone calls me Lazy Pig now.
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406. You're the only one
who still calls me Small Brother.
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407. Thank you.
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408. Lazy Pig, get me that roll
of toilet paper.
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409. The red one.
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410. - Soccer?
- Yes, Second Brother!
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411. If you use Hooking Leg
as a fullback, I think-
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412. - We'd be perfect!
- Right!
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413. You think I can still do Hooking Leg?
Copy !req
414. You just need practice.
Copy !req
415. Believe in yourself,
and you'll get it back fast.
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416. I doubt it.
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417. Why are you washing dishes?
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418. I thought you were a waiter.
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419. Why? There are so many whys.
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420. I don't know.
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421. Why isn't my dad the rich?
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422. Why am I going bald
even though I'm so handsome?
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423. Why aren't you going bald
since you're so ugly?
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424. Everyone else enjoyed their youth,
but I had to study Shaolin?
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425. Just to become a dishwasher?
To clean up after people?
Copy !req
426. Calm down, Second Brother.
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427. You should try to enjoy life.
Copy !req
428. Enjoy life? Stay here,
and I'll enjoy killing you!
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429. Enjoy life?
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430. You call that toilet clean?
It smells awful.
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431. If it ever smells this bad again,
you'll clean it with your tongue.
Copy !req
432. Your apartment looks great!
It's well furnished.
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433. I can't believe you work
as a janitor...
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434. but live in the penthouse
on the 59th floor.
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435. You've got good taste.
Copy !req
436. This kind of apartment is so popular,
I can't even get one.
Copy !req
437. The ventilation is okay.
It's just a bit noisy.
Copy !req
438. Can I move in with you?
Copy !req
439. Forget it.
Your brothers aren't coming.
Copy !req
440. We can find other players.
Copy !req
441. It's my fault.
I'm not persuasive enough.
Copy !req
442. Not true.
You persuaded me, didn't you?
Copy !req
443. We don't have much time...
Copy !req
444. and you guys have a lot to learn.
Copy !req
445. So listen up and work as a team.
Copy !req
446. All right! Let's go!
Copy !req
447. Sell all my shares.
Yes, all five of them!
Copy !req
448. Don't laugh.
Copy !req
449. Hold on, I have another call.
Copy !req
450. It's coming down!
Copy !req
451. You finally decided
to come back down, huh?
Copy !req
452. We waited over an hour for you.
Copy !req
453. - What are you doing?
- Playing soccer!
Copy !req
454. The ball is over there!
Copy !req
455. You! Come here!
Copy !req
456. Let me see you kick the ball.
Copy !req
457. - The ball is over there.
- Yes. It's over there.
Copy !req
458. How can you kick it
if you can't even find it?
Copy !req
459. Now, there are four basic soccer drills:
Pass, dribble, hold and shoot.
Copy !req
460. - Coach!
- Shut up!
Copy !req
461. Let's get started.
Copy !req
462. Here.
Copy !req
463. Hold it.
Copy !req
464. Watch it. Concentrate.
Copy !req
465. Don't lose it.
You can do better than that.
Copy !req
466. Have you never seen a ball before?
Copy !req
467. You play like an old woman.
Copy !req
468. Fung, why can't I practice with them?
Copy !req
469. Your leg is strong,
but you have no control.
Copy !req
470. What if you kick the ball up
and hit a plane?
Copy !req
471. - Ever thought of that?
- No.
Copy !req
472. Small Brother.
I borrowed your eggs.
Copy !req
473. What?
Copy !req
474. If you can kick an egg without
breaking it, you can play with us.
Copy !req
475. No problem.
Copy !req
476. See. It's not easy.
Copy !req
477. Small Brother, stop it.
Copy !req
478. Oh, my God! My egg.
Copy !req
479. I'll get you another one.
Copy !req
480. I'll get you!
How could you do that!
Copy !req
481. Concentrate.
Copy !req
482. My egg!
Copy !req
483. Yes! Yes!
Copy !req
484. Go!
Copy !req
485. Yes. Go!
Copy !req
486. What are you doing?
How could you miss that one?
Copy !req
487. Get it! Come on!
Copy !req
488. - He's great.
- He could win a game by himself.
Copy !req
489. No. It takes teamwork to win.
Copy !req
490. The game is 30 minutes,
with no breaks.
Copy !req
491. We'll follow the standard rules.
I'll referee.
Copy !req
492. - Anyone object?
- Of course not.
Copy !req
493. We're honored
to have Golden Leg referee.
Copy !req
494. All of us are big fans.
Copy !req
495. - This is Fung!
- Fung!
Copy !req
496. Okay.
Copy !req
497. Sing has already had
one run-in with your gang.
Copy !req
498. Let's be civilized,
and just play a clean game.
Copy !req
499. Their tidy uniform
and friendly faces...
Copy !req
500. - indicate that they are sincere.
- Thank you.
Copy !req
501. Relax. I'm a mechanic.
Copy !req
502. I carry this with me
so I won't lose it.
Copy !req
503. - I'm always on call.
- Yes, of course.
Copy !req
504. As I said, I'm a mechanic...
Copy !req
505. and that's why I carry a hammer.
Copy !req
506. I'm familiar with
your team's unusual reputation.
Copy !req
507. Don't worry.
Copy !req
508. Oh, good. I'm glad
we understand each other.
Copy !req
509. You better watch out.
Shake hands.
Copy !req
510. I'm open!
Copy !req
511. Third Brother!
Copy !req
512. We're under attack.
Send reinforcements.
Copy !req
513. We need reinforcements!
Copy !req
514. Stand up.
Copy !req
515. Get up! Stand up now!
Copy !req
516. I said now!
Copy !req
517. - What are you doing?
- They're killing us.
Copy !req
518. What did you expect?
Copy !req
519. You're going to let them
get away with this?
Copy !req
520. You're ejected!
Copy !req
521. Are you nuts?
Copy !req
522. This is a test.
Copy !req
523. If you guys can't pass it,
you shouldn't even bother playing!
Copy !req
524. We just want to play soccer,
not fight a war.
Copy !req
525. Soccer is war.
You must learn that.
Copy !req
526. I surrender!
Copy !req
527. I surrender.
Copy !req
528. You can't surrender.
We're still at war.
Copy !req
529. We're not letting you go home.
Copy !req
530. I can't take it anymore.
Copy !req
531. We're not good enough
to play with you.
Copy !req
532. Let me go to a doctor.
Copy !req
533. Put this on your head.
Copy !req
534. Look at you,
you look like a stray dog.
Copy !req
535. Where's your dignity?
I don't ever want to see you again.
Copy !req
536. Put it on your head
then you can go see a doctor.
Copy !req
537. Yes, I'm a dog. I have no dignity.
Copy !req
538. Give it to me.
Copy !req
539. Now it's our turn.
Copy !req
540. What?
Copy !req
541. Their powers are back.
I can feel it.
Copy !req
542. - Get your shoes ready!
- All right!
Copy !req
543. The final attack!
Copy !req
544. I can't believe I missed.
Copy !req
545. Help!
Copy !req
546. Thank you for helping us
get our kung fu back.
Copy !req
547. I'm honored to have you back.
Copy !req
548. It's our honor.
Copy !req
549. Just a second.
Copy !req
550. I'm the one who is honored.
Copy !req
551. You're going to make me rich!
Thank you!
Copy !req
552. We're sorry.
Copy !req
553. Can we join your team?
Please give us a chance!
Copy !req
554. Please!
Copy !req
555. Not a bad kick.
Copy !req
556. A bit more work
and Team Evil will be unbeatable.
Copy !req
557. Who is this?
Copy !req
558. The cripple?
Copy !req
559. - What's wrong?
- I'm sorry!
Copy !req
560. If it's an open tournament,
why won't you let me sign up?
Copy !req
561. Golden Leg!
What are you doing?
Copy !req
562. - Hung!
- He-
Copy !req
563. It's okay.
Copy !req
564. Hung, my team wants to sign up.
Copy !req
565. Anyone can sign up
for an open tournament.
Copy !req
566. That's not how it works.
Copy !req
567. I'm the chairman.
Copy !req
568. I decide who signs up.
Copy !req
569. - You get me?
- Yes.
Copy !req
570. What's the name of your team?
Copy !req
571. Come here.
Copy !req
572. This is Hung.
Copy !req
573. Hung!
Copy !req
574. This is quite a team.
Copy !req
575. I've gotta see them play.
Copy !req
576. What's the name again?
Copy !req
577. This is Shaolin-
Copy !req
578. Okay.
Copy !req
579. Go ahead and sign them up.
Copy !req
580. I'll even pay your application fee.
Copy !req
581. - Thank you!
- Don't mention it.
Copy !req
582. Cripple, you are my brother.
Copy !req
583. My shoe is dirty again.
Copy !req
584. White shoes get dirty a lot.
Copy !req
585. So-
Copy !req
586. I'll clean it for you!
Copy !req
587. I'm good at cleaning. Let me try.
Copy !req
588. It's my duty.
Copy !req
589. Let me try!
Copy !req
590. Hi.
Copy !req
591. What's going on?
Copy !req
592. Where are we going?
Copy !req
593. Why are you so quiet?
Copy !req
594. I need to go home.
Copy !req
595. - You're late.
- I won't be long.
Copy !req
596. Try it on.
Copy !req
597. No, I just want to see
the quality of it.
Copy !req
598. Touch it.
Copy !req
599. I'll get it dirty.
Copy !req
600. - Don't worry. Go ahead!
- No!
Copy !req
601. - Touch it!
- No.
Copy !req
602. - Like it?
- So smooth.
Copy !req
603. - Want one?
- I touched it. That's enough.
Copy !req
604. Tomorrow, I'm going to play
in a professional soccer game.
Copy !req
605. Really?
Copy !req
606. I'll be famous.
Copy !req
607. But if you hadn't fixed my shoes...
Copy !req
608. none of this would've happened.
Copy !req
609. You're very important to me.
Copy !req
610. I'll get you anything you want.
Copy !req
611. I'll have money soon.
Copy !req
612. If you become rich and famous,
please buy me sneakers.
Copy !req
613. You deserve more!
Copy !req
614. You should have more
confidence in yourself.
Copy !req
615. You're such a beautiful girl,
and you're a kung fu master.
Copy !req
616. You've got it all.
Copy !req
617. You shouldn't let your hair
cover your face.
Copy !req
618. Come on!
Copy !req
619. - Come on. Look at me!
- No.
Copy !req
620. Look at me!
Copy !req
621. You're beautiful!
Copy !req
622. Really?
Copy !req
623. Sure.
Copy !req
624. - Is that a fly?
- Yes, but I missed it.
Copy !req
625. - Did you get it?
- I did.
Copy !req
626. Sorry. I made your hand dirty.
Copy !req
627. It's okay.
Copy !req
628. You're such a beautiful girl.
Copy !req
629. Do you know that?
Copy !req
630. I guess.
Copy !req
631. Thank you! Thanks so much!
You sure you know?
Copy !req
632. Where were you?
Copy !req
633. I let you bring a girl here because
you promised to clean the floor.
Copy !req
634. I will get punished
if you don't clean it.
Copy !req
635. Go home. I'll call you later.
Copy !req
636. Be confident.
You're the best.
Copy !req
637. - I like your shirt.
- I like your socks.
Copy !req
638. - Let's trade.
- Good.
Copy !req
639. Guys, don't be nervous.
Just try to have fun.
Copy !req
640. There'll be tons of reporters
and a big crowd.
Copy !req
641. Try to smile for the photographers.
Copy !req
642. Be sure to thank the fans.
Copy !req
643. Thank you!
Copy !req
644. Thanks for your support!
Thank you!
Copy !req
645. - They're just janitors.
- They're still our audience.
Copy !req
646. Thank you!
Copy !req
647. Shut up!
Copy !req
648. Where is everyone. You said-
Copy !req
649. It's just the first round.
Copy !req
650. We have to make it to the finals.
Copy !req
651. - Great! Let's get to the finals!
- Shut up!
Copy !req
652. Team Shaolin?
Copy !req
653. Look at this guy.
Copy !req
654. Look at that guy.
Copy !req
655. What's wrong?
Copy !req
656. No smoking?
Copy !req
657. What happened?
Copy !req
658. It's impossible. Just a trick.
Copy !req
659. What's going on?
Copy !req
660. Okay, it's a trick.
Copy !req
661. Let's show them what we can do.
Copy !req
662. All right!
Copy !req
663. Oh, come on!
Copy !req
664. Please play fair.
Give us a chance.
Copy !req
665. Hung, it's for you.
Copy !req
666. Your tricks don't scare me!
Copy !req
667. What? Forty to zip?
Copy !req
668. Yeah!
Copy !req
669. Iron Head scores!
Copy !req
670. We bring the power of Shaolin
to soccer.
Copy !req
671. Kung fu is great. It's wonderful!
Copy !req
672. I want to say hi to my parents and
my Shaolin master, but they're all dead.
Copy !req
673. I also want to say hi
to my friend, Mui.
Copy !req
674. Mui, how are you?
Copy !req
675. I'll see you soon.
Copy !req
676. Hi. Can I help you?
Copy !req
677. - I want-
- I understand.
Copy !req
678. I'll take care of you.
Copy !req
679. Show us something.
Copy !req
680. Sure. Small Brother!
Copy !req
681. Great!
Copy !req
682. Can you show us more?
Copy !req
683. Sure!
Copy !req
684. Take it easy.
Copy !req
685. My brothers, today we say good-bye
to our old lives and old shoes.
Copy !req
686. - Hey, don't throw those around.
- Sorry.
Copy !req
687. Mui?
Copy !req
688. What's up?
Copy !req
689. You look great tonight.
Copy !req
690. Just a little.
Copy !req
691. It's a big difference.
You're so heavily made up.
Copy !req
692. So you think I look nice?
Copy !req
693. I have big news for you.
We won the soccer match.
Copy !req
694. I know. I saw you guys on TV.
Copy !req
695. Congratulations.
Copy !req
696. This is for you.
Copy !req
697. Thank you.
Copy !req
698. Let me introduce you to my friends.
Copy !req
699. Nice outfit.
Copy !req
700. Hey, let me introduce you guys
to a new friend.
Copy !req
701. Is she a ghost?
Copy !req
702. This is my friend.
Copy !req
703. - Girlfriend?
- No.
Copy !req
704. This is Mui, the Tai Chi Master
I told you guys about.
Copy !req
705. - Oh, nice to meet you.
- Your girlfriend is quite unique.
Copy !req
706. - Yes.
- That's great.
Copy !req
707. I've never seen
shoulder pads so big.
Copy !req
708. I've decided to start a new trend.
Copy !req
709. See? It's fashionable.
Copy !req
710. Don't walk around at night.
Copy !req
711. It's quite scary.
Copy !req
712. It's okay.
People will get used to it soon.
Copy !req
713. It will work pretty well in football.
Copy !req
714. You want to borrow them?
Copy !req
715. Stop it. It's not proper to talk
to a lady like this.
Copy !req
716. It's okay, I can take it.
Copy !req
717. Although she's a girl,
she has a great sense of humor.
Copy !req
718. Mui, show us a sexy pose.
Copy !req
719. Give us a kiss.
Copy !req
720. - What's wrong?
- Don't touch me.
Copy !req
721. Are you mad?
Copy !req
722. - No, I'm not mad.
- Then-
Copy !req
723. I'm sorry.
Copy !req
724. We were just joking.
Copy !req
725. I know you were just joking.
Copy !req
726. I'm sorry,
I didn't mind at all-
Copy !req
727. Don't be like this.
Copy !req
728. Then why are you like this?
Copy !req
729. Take your hand off me-
Copy !req
730. Boss!
Copy !req
731. What the hell are you doing?
Copy !req
732. I was just out playing mah-jongg.
Copy !req
733. Look at what you did to yourself?
You look like a ghost.
Copy !req
734. Have you no shame?
You are such a disgrace.
Copy !req
735. Hey, enough!
Copy !req
736. Mui has the right
to dress how she wants.
Copy !req
737. Can't you respect that?
Copy !req
738. - I think she looks very nice today.
- Yes.
Copy !req
739. - She looks great.
- Don't be mean to her.
Copy !req
740. I'll yell at her if I want to.
Who the hell are you guys?
Copy !req
741. They are my friends.
Copy !req
742. I agree with them completely.
Copy !req
743. I think I look beautiful now.
Copy !req
744. And I like the way I am.
Copy !req
745. If you don't like it...
Copy !req
746. you can simply go away.
Copy !req
747. Who do you think
you're talking to?
Copy !req
748. I'm talking to you.
Copy !req
749. You are a mean
and coldhearted boss.
Copy !req
750. You're asking for it!
Copy !req
751. How dare you hit me?
Copy !req
752. I can't believe this.
Who do you think you are?
Copy !req
753. I am who I am.
I am Mui.
Copy !req
754. I'm gonna tell
your mother about this.
Copy !req
755. Mui, well done!
Copy !req
756. We were just joking earlier.
Please forgive us.
Copy !req
757. We weren't laughing at you,
your sexy pose really was sexy.
Copy !req
758. Really?
Copy !req
759. Do you...
Copy !req
760. like the way I look?
Copy !req
761. Well-
Copy !req
762. You certainly have more confidence.
Copy !req
763. I want to tell you something.
Copy !req
764. What?
Copy !req
765. I like you.
Copy !req
766. I like you too.
Copy !req
767. Is this love?
Copy !req
768. You-
Copy !req
769. You're joking.
Copy !req
770. No. I'm serious.
Copy !req
771. Absolutely not. This is not love.
Copy !req
772. We're friends forever.
Copy !req
773. Don't you think we should be friends?
Copy !req
774. It's fine.
Copy !req
775. So you'll still come see me?
Copy !req
776. I can still fix your shoes.
Copy !req
777. No, thanks. I can buy new ones.
Copy !req
778. Things have changed.
Copy !req
779. I have to think about the future.
Copy !req
780. Don't be like this.
Copy !req
781. You're crying.
Copy !req
782. Don't be that way.
Copy !req
783. I understand.
Copy !req
784. Sorry.
Copy !req
785. - Congratulations!
- Sit with us.
Copy !req
786. Cheers!
Copy !req
787. If we win this, we'll go to the finals.
Copy !req
788. To the finals!
Copy !req
789. - But don't underestimate our opponent.
- Underestimate our opponent!
Copy !req
790. You don't have a chance.
Copy !req
791. We haven't lost all year.
Copy !req
792. How'd they do that?
Copy !req
793. It must be special effects.
Copy !req
794. - Good morning, Hung.
- Good morning.
Copy !req
795. Come here.
Copy !req
796. You're a lucky guy.
Copy !req
797. You're lucky to coach
such a great team.
Copy !req
798. Thank you.
Copy !req
799. Iron Head and Iron Shirt is practiced
as performance art on the street.
Copy !req
800. It's amusing to see your team
use kung fu to play soccer...
Copy !req
801. and make it to the finals.
Copy !req
802. You did a good job.
Copy !req
803. Don't waste our time.
Copy !req
804. If you forfeit the game
you can join my Evil Team.
Copy !req
805. It's not a bad check this time.
Copy !req
806. You can get the money
before you sign the deal.
Copy !req
807. That's a lot of money.
Copy !req
808. Enough to retire.
Copy !req
809. Of course. We're like brothers.
Copy !req
810. Thank you.
But I don't think I can accept it.
Copy !req
811. What? Do you think
I'm trying to trick you?
Copy !req
812. I think you've
put a great team together.
Copy !req
813. I'd like you to come work for me.
Copy !req
814. Don't get upset.
Copy !req
815. Think about your future.
Forget about our past, okay?
Copy !req
816. Hung, I'm not mad at you anymore.
Copy !req
817. I know it was all my faults.
I can't blame anyone else.
Copy !req
818. You're lying.
Copy !req
819. I know you too well.
You're too greedy to pass this up.
Copy !req
820. You're right.
Copy !req
821. I am greedy.
My team is greedy too.
Copy !req
822. But we don't care about the money.
Copy !req
823. We care about the championship.
Copy !req
824. See you on the soccer field.
Copy !req
825. Pull over.
Copy !req
826. - Mui!
- She's dead!
Copy !req
827. How?
Copy !req
828. - I killed her!
- Impossible!
Copy !req
829. Mui is a kung fu master.
You could never hurt her.
Copy !req
830. What do you want?
Copy !req
831. Revenge!
Copy !req
832. Come on. It was only a joke.
Copy !req
833. She's still alive.
She just doesn't work here anymore.
Copy !req
834. Why not?
Copy !req
835. Well, we're famous for our
sweet steamed buns...
Copy !req
836. and Mui made
the sweetest ones of all.
Copy !req
837. But now they're salty and bitter.
She was ruining my business.
Copy !req
838. There was salt in them?
Copy !req
839. Yes.
Copy !req
840. Now is there anything else
I can do for you, sir?
Copy !req
841. No thanks.
Copy !req
842. Hey!
Copy !req
843. We've got a game to play!
Copy !req
844. Will Team Evil
score a lot of goals today?
Copy !req
845. Scoring goals is not
the only way to win.
Copy !req
846. But make no mistake, we will win.
Copy !req
847. No way!
Copy !req
848. Those American drugs
work better than I expected.
Copy !req
849. Actually, the referee, linesman...
Copy !req
850. soccer association, soccer federation
and soccer committee...
Copy !req
851. all stand on my side.
How can they possibly beat me?
Copy !req
852. No problem!
Copy !req
853. - You rule!
- Good job!
Copy !req
854. You the man!
Copy !req
855. Throw-in? Are you crazy?
Copy !req
856. How can you call that a throw-in?
Copy !req
857. Hung, are you here to fight
or play soccer?
Copy !req
858. I should break their legs
like I broke yours!
Copy !req
859. Then you'd have
a whole team of cripples!
Copy !req
860. Cripples! Cripples!
At least you'd have company.
Copy !req
861. I'm sorry. I should take a break.
Copy !req
862. It's okay.
Your body may leave the field...
Copy !req
863. but your spirit will stay behind.
Copy !req
864. Get ready! It's my turn.
Copy !req
865. Small Brother!
Copy !req
866. Wake up! The clock already ran out.
Copy !req
867. It's only halftime.
Their team is already badly injured.
Copy !req
868. They won't be able to play
the second half. Go home!
Copy !req
869. You won't be able
to finish the game.
Copy !req
870. Boring.
Copy !req
871. I'll dance to provide
some entertainment.
Copy !req
872. No, you're not going to dance.
I am!
Copy !req
873. I've had enough.
Copy !req
874. Break it up!
Copy !req
875. You want me to eject someone?
Copy !req
876. Who did that?
Copy !req
877. Did anyone see?
Copy !req
878. I'd like to see you do that
to my face!
Copy !req
879. Gently.
Copy !req
880. What kind of kung fu was that?
Copy !req
881. I can't take much more!
Copy !req
882. I knew they would play dirty.
Copy !req
883. I just didn't think
they would play this dirty.
Copy !req
884. They've never been this good.
Copy !req
885. They must be cheating.
Copy !req
886. Call the police.
Copy !req
887. We just have to play harder.
Copy !req
888. We can still win this!
Copy !req
889. I forgot. I left the oven on!
Copy !req
890. My wife needs me.
She's about to have a baby.
Copy !req
891. Can't she wait until the game's over?
Copy !req
892. But they're killing us!
Copy !req
893. Please. I'm begging you.
Copy !req
894. - I'm begging you too.
- Wait. Wait!
Copy !req
895. Calm down.
Copy !req
896. Calm down!
Copy !req
897. He's right!
Copy !req
898. We must pull together.
Copy !req
899. We only have eight players left.
Copy !req
900. If one more is injured,
we have to forfeit.
Copy !req
901. We'll have to show these guys
that we can block their killer kicks!
Copy !req
902. That's easy for you to say.
You try blocking one of them.
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903. What are you talking about?
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904. Calm down.
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905. Calm down!
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906. Shut up.
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907. I wonder if I can block them.
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908. Shaolin Barricade Shield!
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909. Barricade?
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910. They can't even block one kick!
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911. - Are you okay?
- I'm fine.
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912. Chun, it's Tin.
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913. I've kept this secret for 20 years.
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914. I love you.
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915. Are we playing too dirty?
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916. - I don't think so.
- Really?
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917. Play even dirtier!
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918. Brothers! Go!
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919. What?
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920. Look out!
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921. Get it!
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922. I don't believe it.
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923. Get up! If you're injured,
you forfeit!
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924. You're right. I'm fine.
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925. The game's almost over!
Use the special attack!
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926. Special attack?
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927. That's it. They're out of players.
We won!
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928. Team Shaolin,
I only see seven players.
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929. If you don't have a substitute
you'll forfeit the game.
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930. Those are the rules.
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931. Any substitutes?
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932. Congratulations!
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933. I'm here.
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934. I'm their substitute.
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935. I'm a goalie.
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936. Why do you look like E.T.?
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937. You said I should
get rid of the hair in my eyes.
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938. What are you doing here?
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939. I want to help.
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940. How can you help?
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941. Phone home.
You don't belong on Earth.
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942. I really want to help.
Trust me.
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943. - Let me try.
- No way!
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944. Look. You can't play in those.
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945. Put these on.
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946. The other side.
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947. Go!
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948. All right!
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949. Watch out!
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950. What happened?
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951. - Boss, watch out!
- Don't touch me!
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952. Boss!
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953. Shaolin Team wins the championship.
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954. Evil Team's drug use leads to
permanent suspension.
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955. Coach Hung sentenced
to five years in jail.
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956. Wait.
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957. Stop the bus.
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958. Phone home.
You don't belong on Earth.
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959. I'm talking about thousands of dollars.
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960. You're a bunch of losers-
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961. Don't laugh.
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962. The grand prize is a lot of money.
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963. I can't get it out.
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964. I'm a postgraduate student.
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965. Postgraduate student?
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966. Let's start over.
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967. I'm a postgraduate student.
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968. - What's wrong?
- Don't touch me.
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969. Are you mad?
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970. No, I'm not mad.
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971. - What's wrong?
- Don't touch me.
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972. Are you mad?
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973. - I'm not mad.
- Then-
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974. I am begging you.
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975. Don't do this.
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976. You have to help me.
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977. Please, don't!
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978. It's great
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979. I don't know the lyrics. Sorry.
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980. Don't you dare!
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981. - They're just janitors.
- They're still our-
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982. I heard you have amazing legs.
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983. Cut!
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984. This is a crescent wrench.
It's for screwing-
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985. - Are you sure?
- You're so sick.
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986. My team is greedy too.
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987. But we don't care
about this plane ticket-
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988. Plane ticket?
Are you going somewhere?
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989. Chun, it's Tin.
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990. I've kept this secret for 20 years.
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991. I love you.
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992. This is not Chun.
This is Kung.
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993. Sorry, Kung.
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994. Please tell your wife
what I just told you.
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995. Please rate this subtitle at www.osdb.link/eu5p
Help other users to choose the best subtitles
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