1. Good afternoon, freshmen,Copy !req
2. freshwomen and, uh,
people of freshness.Copy !req
3. Welcome to Stratford University's
freshman orientation.Copy !req
4. I'm your tour guide,
Darryl Witherspoon.Copy !req
5. I got another tour group in about
a half hour, so let's get to tourin'.Copy !req
6. Come on. Come on.
Speed walk. Speed walk.Copy !req
7. It's good for your soul.
That's it. You got it.Copy !req
8. So, as an economics major,Copy !req
9. this is where I spend
the majority of my time.Copy !req
10. And thanks to Stratford University's
top-notch financial aid program...Copy !req
11. Bullshit... I spend the rest of my time
giving tours, working food services...Copy !req
12. and delivering campus mail.Copy !req
13. Now, this package has brought us
to the administration building.Copy !req
14. And here, encased in this glass...
No, it's not Superfly's pimp cane.Copy !req
15. This is the Truman Scepter.
This next package will be taking us...Copy !req
16. to the neuropsychology building.Copy !req
17. Let's go. Neuropsychology.
Let's go.Copy !req
18. - Let's go. Here you go.
- Hold that for me. Thanks, baby.Copy !req
19. Hey, we're gonna stop over
at the cafeteria and bust a little suds.Copy !req
20. Girls wash. Guys dry.
Whoo!Copy !req
21. And here we have
Stratford University's prizewinning...Copy !req
22. neuropsychology department.Copy !req
23. Oh, I just wanted to thank you all for helping
me out with my campus maintenance duties.Copy !req
24. I think it's a beautiful thing.
But remember,Copy !req
25. plastic goes in the blue,
paper in the green.Copy !req
26. Be back in a jiff.
Whoo!Copy !req
27. Hello?Copy !req
28. Dr. Wheedon?
Got a package for you.Copy !req
29. Um, right there's fine.Copy !req
30. Thank you.Copy !req
31. Wow. That little fellow glows
in the dark, huh?Copy !req
32. I wish the ones at my mom's house
would glow in the dark.Copy !req
33. Um...Copy !req
34. Thank you.Copy !req
35. There's a building, building, building.Copy !req
36. That building's old.
That building got windows.Copy !req
37. And here we are,
back at Albert Lovett Library.Copy !req
38. And that, my friends,
is the end of your tour.Copy !req
39. And the beginning of yours.
Welcome.Copy !req
40. Gaining 13 and three quarters,
utilities up about a fifth of a point.Copy !req
41. - And the big-board composite
up.6 and 45236.Copy !req
42. - There were over 115 million
shares traded on the big board.Copy !req
43. - Yeah.
- Hi. Darryl?Copy !req
44. Hey, Ma. How you doin'?Copy !req
45. Oh, same old, same old.
Blase, blase.Copy !req
46. The kids are drivin' me crazy, stove don't
work and the roaches are gettin' attitude.Copy !req
47. So, when do you start
your new job on Wall Street?Copy !req
48. Well, I don't exactly
have the job.Copy !req
49. There's a lot of competition
for that Smythe-Bates job.Copy !req
50. My oldest son is gonna starve.Copy !req
51. - I'm not going to starve.
- How are you gonna pay your tuition?Copy !req
52. Ma, I'll just get
another job, okay?Copy !req
53. Well, you know,
I didn't want to say anything,Copy !req
54. but they threatened to turn off the gas.Copy !req
55. Just send me the bill.
How much is it?Copy !req
56. - $223.
- Damn, what you cookin'?Copy !req
57. Well, baby, we got to eat. And you know I
like to cook everything down nice and slow.Copy !req
58. - You know.
- Uh, just send it, Ma.Copy !req
59. I didn't wanna tell you this,Copy !req
60. but, uh, you know I'm front-runner
for that Smythe-Bates job.Copy !req
61. I'm so proud of you.Copy !req
62. And the job pays $60,000 a year.Copy !req
63. - Oh, baby.
- So, you, Darius, Lyndell, Brandon and April...Copy !req
64. Y'all don't have to worry.Copy !req
65. I love you, Darryl.Copy !req
66. Hello?Copy !req
67. This is the Stratford University tuition office.
May I speak to Darryl Witherspoon?Copy !req
68. Uh, no, uh, Darryl's not
with us anymore.Copy !req
69. He, uh, he die.Copy !req
70. - Oh, I'm so sorry.
- Yeah, th-they killed my baby.Copy !req
71. He got involved with that whole
East Coast/West Coast thing,Copy !req
72. and being that he is from Chicago,
they both banged on him.Copy !req
73. Hi. Darryl Witherspoon.Copy !req
74. Sammy Davis, Jr. Jr.Copy !req
75. Lza Kill D. Wipe.
Thank you.Copy !req
76. I am Ishmael Achmel
Mohammed Hach-tooey...Copy !req
77. Ooh!Copy !req
78. Have you donated sperm before?Copy !req
79. - Yeah.
- Uh-huh. And you're familiar with the procedure?Copy !req
80. Well, I've been doing it
since I was 12.Copy !req
81. The payment procedure. Fifty dollars
upon procurement of the sperm.Copy !req
82. Cool. Um, do you have
any of those procurement aids?Copy !req
83. Oh, certainly.
Dirty, Beaver Hunt, Big Butt.Copy !req
84. - Damn!
- Bondage Cheerleaders.Copy !req
85. Ooh, four.Copy !req
86. I'm good for one more.
Just give me somethin' really freaky.Copy !req
87. - Like some Siamese midget twins menaging a goat or somethin'.
- Okay.Copy !req
88. Ah, what's up?
What's happenin', my man?Copy !req
89. - Hey.
- Got some more hair for you.Copy !req
90. Hey, look man, I can't do nothin'
with them naps. You're back too soon.Copy !req
91. - Come on, man. I need this money, man.
- I can't help you.Copy !req
92. Please. Come on, man. Hey, brother, look.
I got some real good hair for you, man.Copy !req
93. - Look at the bush.
- Hey, look.Copy !req
94. - It ain't that kind of party, man, hey.
- Come on. Look, brother.Copy !req
95. - I'll throw in the ass hair for free.
- Step!Copy !req
96. Oh, hey, dog. Landlord came by again,
looking for your part of the rent.Copy !req
97. - God, it must be nice having a...
- A hockey scholarship?Copy !req
98. Look, I'm not in the guilt game,
all right? My heart is light.Copy !req
99. - What's with the X?
- That's, uh... That's a symbol of my pledge.Copy !req
100. See, I'm denying myself
certain pleasures, eh?Copy !req
101. Eating meat.
Drinking alcohol. Sex.Copy !req
102. - Sex?
- Yeah, all forms of sex.Copy !req
103. Consider this.
Without pain and deprivation,Copy !req
104. one can never experience
true pleasure.Copy !req
105. You know, this is just like when you
converted to Buddhism freshman year.Copy !req
106. Uh-huh? Then you went premed, then
Republican and then the Tony Robbins tapes.Copy !req
107. And let's not forget
your little bisexual stage.Copy !req
108. Well, that just lasted two hours.
Well, two and a half.Copy !req
109. You try watchin' Brad Pitt in Interview With
A Vampire and not feel a little conflicted.Copy !req
110. Look, man, all I'm sayin'...
pick an obsession, stay with it.Copy !req
111. - All right?
- Mmm.Copy !req
112. Okay, what's the new chiming sound?Copy !req
113. Oh, uh, that's
my Prince Albert.Copy !req
114. - A what?
- Yeah, I got a piercing through my urethra.Copy !req
115. And I run a chain
from that to my scrotum.Copy !req
116. Listen.Copy !req
117. Ohh.Copy !req
118. With piercing, uh,
it's about pain and pleasure.Copy !req
119. Like you, for instance, right? You got
that inner pain, that hunger for success.Copy !req
120. And when you get it,
it's gonna be all the more sweet, dog.Copy !req
121. Hello, Darryl.
Runnin' low on bacon bits over here.Copy !req
122. - Hi, Scott.
- No emergency.Copy !req
123. Just somethin' to keep
in the back of your head.Copy !req
124. Oh, well, thank you for the pork report.
Appreciate it.Copy !req
125. - You going up for that Smythe-Bates job?
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
126. I'm kind of the pace car
in this Employment 500.Copy !req
127. 3.8 G.P.A. Varsity sailing.
Kappa House social chairman.Copy !req
128. Your dad runs the third-largest bank
in Manhattan.Copy !req
129. Oh, yeah, and that.
Right.Copy !req
130. Or are you just happy
to see me?Copy !req
131. Smythe-Bates has
long enjoyed a reputation...Copy !req
132. as one of the world's premier
investment firms.Copy !req
133. That is why each year we choose our new
junior analysts with tremendous care.Copy !req
134. The Smythe-Bates man or woman
has a high G.P.A.,Copy !req
135. a record of athletic achievement and ties
of tradition to our firm through some...Copy !req
136. of the more prominent
fraternal organizations on campus.Copy !req
137. Because we regard the junior analyst
position not as a stopping point,Copy !req
138. but as a stepping stone to greatness.Copy !req
139. Now, class, I would like for you to extend
a very warm welcome to my old friend,Copy !req
140. Mr. Randall Tyson
of Smythe-Bates Brokers.Copy !req
141. - Randall?
- Thank you, Professor Engel. Good to see you.Copy !req
142. Uh, well, this old room holds
many memories for me.Copy !req
143. - I logged quite a bit
of nap time in that back row.Copy !req
144. I sincerely wish that we had a place
for all of you,Copy !req
145. but that's not the case.Copy !req
146. Five of you will be chosen,
and out of the five finalists,Copy !req
147. the student who most closely resembles
the ideal employee...Copy !req
148. will be chosen for the position
of junior analyst at Smythe-Bates.Copy !req
149. Good luck to all of you.Copy !req
150. All right, class, in the case study
that we were examining last week...Copy !req
151. Now, the markets are up,
but consumer spending...Copy !req
152. and corporate profit margins are down.Copy !req
153. - Now, how would the social planner remedy this, huh?
— Ooh!Copy !req
154. - Sir?
- Downsize the labor force.Copy !req
155. - What?
- This increases profit, and the resulting price cuts...Copy !req
156. stimulate consumer spending.Copy !req
157. - Yo, difference of opinion here.
- Uh, Mr. Witherspoon... and we can do without the yo-ing...Copy !req
158. What he's sayin' is
let's help people by firing them.Copy !req
159. Now, this seems to me,
ebonically speaking, whack.Copy !req
160. Perhaps Darryl does have
a special insight into the blue collar,Copy !req
161. or, should I say,
hairnet mentality.Copy !req
162. Oh!Copy !req
163. Look...
Wicks Morton Industrials, okay?Copy !req
164. In 1988, their wages exceeded their profit
margins, but instead of firing people,Copy !req
165. what they did was they offered
employee contracts with wage givebacks.Copy !req
166. And guess what. Their employees spent 50
percent more than they did the previous year.Copy !req
167. Now, what that proves is what the
average Joe on the street already knows.Copy !req
168. The more money they have,
the more money they can spend.Copy !req
169. He's absolutely right. Wicks Morton did
do the right thing by their employees.Copy !req
170. But then again, instead of laying off
workers, they took out a $20 million loan...Copy !req
171. from a certain bank here in Manhattan,
and from what I hear,Copy !req
172. - From your dad?
- They're on the verge of defaulting.Copy !req
173. So what happens to your average
workin' Joe when Wicks Morton goes down?Copy !req
174. I don't think they're gonna end up
in the checkout line.Copy !req
175. I think it's gonna be
the unemployment line.Copy !req
176. And the president of the company
is gonna be right there with them.Copy !req
177. Ebonically speaking,
you don't know shit.Copy !req
178. Dare I say,
you're out of your league.Copy !req
179. Darryl, although carrying water
is technically an aerobic activity,Copy !req
180. - it does not qualify you
to play college-level hockey.Copy !req
181. Coach, please. Look, I need this time.
Please, Coach.Copy !req
182. Look, I'm just a brother from the hood
with a simple dream to play hockey.Copy !req
183. Don't make me turn
to drugs or gangs...Copy !req
184. LaFlour!Copy !req
185. - He's on your team.
- Just following through, Coach!Copy !req
186. - Yeah. Sure, Tim.
- Hey, Tim.Copy !req
187. When was the last time
you had sex?Copy !req
188. - Why?
- You're just a little jumpy, that's all.Copy !req
189. Hey, can you do me a favor?Copy !req
190. Can you please talk to the coach and try
and get me some time on the ice?Copy !req
191. I need a sport, or I'm not gonna get
the Smythe-Bates job.Copy !req
192. Please. I need it
for my family, man.Copy !req
193. Right, yeah,
I'll talk to Coach for ya, eh?Copy !req
194. Thanks, Tim.Copy !req
195. Uh, these things
are too tight!Copy !req
196. Nice shot!Copy !req
197. The outside!Copy !req
198. Come on. Come on.Copy !req
199. Wait. Wait.Copy !req
200. Uh, wait!Copy !req
201. Uh, oh... Oh, my ass!Copy !req
202. Wait.
My sack, my sack, my sack!Copy !req
203. Hip-Hup-Zip-Hup!
Freshmen.Copy !req
204. - Hey, what's up? I got somethin' to show you, eh!
- I don't wanna see it.Copy !req
205. No, no, no. You know how I always lose
my apartment key, right?Copy !req
206. I always lose it.
But look... look wh...Copy !req
207. It's new.
I call it my key to happiness.Copy !req
208. Oh, my God. You know what you are?
You're a freak show.Copy !req
209. Hey, the landlord called again.
I'm worried about you, right?Copy !req
210. Don't worry about it, dog.
I'll get the rent.Copy !req
211. Hey, it's all good, dog.
Listen, you may not have faith in fate.Copy !req
212. But, my man,
fate has faith in you.Copy !req
213. Welcome. You are here to participate
in the first round of human testing...Copy !req
214. of Protocol 563.Copy !req
215. You'll be the first people
to take this drug.Copy !req
216. Federal regulations require me to list all
possible side effects of this experiment.Copy !req
217. Please listen carefully. This drug has
not been shown to be toxic in rats...Copy !req
218. and should be similarly nontoxic
in human beings, theoretically.Copy !req
219. Potential side effects
may include nausea,Copy !req
220. insomnia, headaches,Copy !req
221. flaking of the scalp,
intestinal cramping,Copy !req
222. constipation, rectal burning,Copy !req
223. rectal itching, rectal swelling...Copy !req
224. and dizziness.Copy !req
225. - Sir?
- Yes.Copy !req
226. - Did you hear me?
- Yeah. Rectal itchin'. No problem.Copy !req
227. - And you are willing to participate?
- It's paying, right?Copy !req
228. This is a model of the drug
we've created here.Copy !req
229. It is designed
to increase the senses...Copy !req
230. far beyond levels ever experienced
by a human being before.Copy !req
231. Are you following this?Copy !req
232. Yeah. What are you sayin'?
I'll be able to see better?Copy !req
233. - Like an eagle.
- How 'bout my hearin'?Copy !req
234. - Ultrasonic.
- Taste, smell and feelin' too?Copy !req
235. The five senses will be magnified
ten times over.Copy !req
236. Wow.
Supersenses.Copy !req
237. This is the drug.Copy !req
238. How you take it is
of the utmost importance.Copy !req
239. You must take exactly six cc's
every single day.Copy !req
240. And you must inject it
into the buttocks.Copy !req
241. - These are your instructions.
- How much do I get paid?Copy !req
242. You must also take it when your
serotonin levels are at their lowest,Copy !req
243. just before you go to bed.Copy !req
244. How much do I get paid?Copy !req
245. If and when your senses
become heightened,Copy !req
246. the initial phase will be
disorienting and disturbing.Copy !req
247. Deep breathing may help.Copy !req
248. - Are there any questions?
- How much do I get paid?Copy !req
249. Um, well, since you're
the only person,Copy !req
250. after the experiment's over,
you get $3,000.Copy !req
251. $3,000?Copy !req
252. Whoo! $3,000.Copy !req
253. Doctor, look, for $3,000...Copy !req
254. you can inject me
with the Ebola virus, okay?Copy !req
255. $3,000.Copy !req
256. Doctor, for $3,000, I'm gonna be
your little Outbreak monkey, okay?Copy !req
257. Hey what's with all the bongs
and the booze?Copy !req
258. Going to a party
at Rick James' house?Copy !req
259. No, just doin' a little winter cleaning,
purifying the apartment, eh?Copy !req
260. Oh, that sounds fine. Me, I'm gonna
go in there, eat a little pig,Copy !req
261. smoke a little crack,
masturbate a little bit.Copy !req
262. - Care to join me?
- No, all I'm doing tonight is soaking...Copy !req
263. little limp Timmy
in some rubbing alcohol.Copy !req
264. - Oh.
- Turns out the Prince Albert was a bad idea.Copy !req
265. Yeah, I could've told you that one.
Hey, dude, I wanted to thank you, man.Copy !req
266. I got a little bit of time on the ice.
I think my game is improving.Copy !req
267. Uh, about that, the thing is... I've been
practicing how to say this all night, dog...Copy !req
268. 'Cause the thing is, the last thing I would
want to do is hurt your feelings, right?Copy !req
269. - You got your key?
- Oh.Copy !req
270. 'Cause sometimes, you know,
sometimes when it comes to hockey,Copy !req
271. sometimes people suck.Copy !req
272. Look, I don't care, okay?Copy !req
273. The only reason I'm playing hockey
or doin' this stupid frat...Copy !req
274. is to get
the Smythe-Bates job.Copy !req
275. Oh, I know that.
But to suck at hockey the way you suck,Copy !req
276. you know, suck the way that fat kids or old
people might suck... I mean, you suck.Copy !req
277. Hey! I mean,
you really suck.Copy !req
278. I mean, it's like, you know, you get
on the ice and you're horrifying.Copy !req
279. - You just watch. You're like a hoser on there...
- Would you give me that?Copy !req
280. I'm sorry.Copy !req
281. Oh, man!Copy !req
282. Ooh, you like that?Copy !req
283. You wanna see
some more of this later?Copy !req
284. Whoo! Hey, hey, you got pull
around here, right?Copy !req
285. Hey, why don't you pledge me? I wanna
be a Kappa. Come on, man. Pledge me.Copy !req
286. Look, you can beat me, spank me. Look, you
could brand the inside of my crack. Please.Copy !req
287. Excuse me?Copy !req
288. Oh, no. I was just, um...
I'm... Hi.Copy !req
289. You're high.
Well, that would explain it.Copy !req
290. No, I'm not high as in, you know,
high.Copy !req
291. I mean "hi" as in "hello."Copy !req
292. How are you? Hi.
Darryl.Copy !req
293. Hey, I was wondering if maybe,
you know, me and you could...Copy !req
294. Let me guess. Maybe we could
get together a little later.Copy !req
295. Get to know each other
a little better...Copy !req
296. over a glass of something
with alcohol in it, right?Copy !req
297. If you don't drink,
we could have a Yoo Hoo or somethin'.Copy !req
298. Janice.Copy !req
299. - Could I call you?
- Maybe.Copy !req
300. - Witherspoon.
- Hey, Scott.Copy !req
301. - Rushing as a senior, huh?
- Hey, just trying to join a frat, man.Copy !req
302. - Right on. Have a seat.
- Cool.Copy !req
303. By the way, it's "fraternity," not "frat."
You wouldn't call your country a...Copy !req
304. Hey, whoa.
Not since the Bush years.Copy !req
305. You know what I'm sayin'?Copy !req
306. - Ooh.
- I know why you're here, buddy.Copy !req
307. You see what you want and you go
after it, and I like that.Copy !req
308. But we're not here for you to put on your
resume so you can get the Smythe-Bates job.Copy !req
309. Oh, I get it. You're here
so you can put it on your resume.Copy !req
310. - You know what I'm sayin', brother?
- Darryl, you little table turner.Copy !req
311. The truth is, you're too good
for us here, man.Copy !req
312. You're too cool.
We're a bunch of nerds.Copy !req
313. You wouldn't fit in. Like Stan here.
He's captain of the wrestling team.Copy !req
314. He wins all the time. He's a bore.
Or Thomas, class president.Copy !req
315. What's up, baby? Still can't get a hang
of the whole "bad means good" thing.Copy !req
316. Doesn't make sense to him.Copy !req
317. Bottom line is,
you're an MTV video.Copy !req
318. Everybody say, "Hey, ho."Copy !req
319. And we're VH1 on James Taylor weekend.Copy !req
320. We're a bunch of phonies, Darryl, but you're
keepin' it real. Don't let us ruin that.Copy !req
321. - Scott. Come on, man.
- You're just not Kappa material.Copy !req
322. But, Scott, I'm sayin'...Copy !req
323. But thanks for tryin'.Copy !req
324. - Bye-bye.
- Darryl.Copy !req
325. Darryl.Copy !req
326. Darryl.Copy !req
327. Can't get no worse than this.Copy !req
328. Okay, thanks.Copy !req
329. This exam counts very heavily
toward your midterm grade.Copy !req
330. So if you are going
for that Smythe-Bates job,Copy !req
331. I suggest you take it very seriously.Copy !req
332. Excuse me. Somebody isn't
zestfully clean this morning.Copy !req
333. Screw you.
I'm clean.Copy !req
334. Ooh.Copy !req
335. All right, people.
Aah.Copy !req
336. You have one hour
to complete this examination.Copy !req
337. And you may begin now.Copy !req
338. Aah. Ohh.Copy !req
339. Hey, Darryl, why don't you pull over
to the nervous breakdown lane?Copy !req
340. Hey, Queasy Jefferson,
bring it down a notch.Copy !req
341. - Will you all just cut this shit!
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
342. Oh, my God.Copy !req
343. You!Copy !req
344. You better fix that damn watch.Copy !req
345. And you, rich girl. We know you
got money. Put that damn diamond away.Copy !req
346. And, eh, British guy,
if you gonna live in this country,Copy !req
347. you'd better go see a damn dentist
about that stink-ass breath.Copy !req
348. You smell like hot garbage!Copy !req
349. Now, please, I'm tryin' to take
a test here! This is my future!Copy !req
350. Mr. Witherspoon, sit down!Copy !req
351. And one more outburst from you,
and you are out of my classroom!Copy !req
352. Oh, I'm sorry, professor.
That was my Tourette's syndrome.Copy !req
353. Piss on me, I'm on fire!
I just... I just can't help it.Copy !req
354. Michael Jackson's a Puerto Rican!Copy !req
355. O.J.'s on welfare. I seen him
on the line. I just can't help it.Copy !req
356. You look like Bob Hope.Copy !req
357. Dennis Rodman got a coochie!Copy !req
358. I just really can't help it.
I can't.Copy !req
359. I failed my test.
My dream is gone.Copy !req
360. And this itching is tearin' my ass,
and it keeps gettin' worse and worse.Copy !req
361. - You did this to me.
- Darryl, calm down. Calm down.Copy !req
362. - Sit down. Come on.
- Get off.Copy !req
363. Sit down.Copy !req
364. - Excuse me.
- Now.Copy !req
365. - Oh, Mama. Ahh.
- Follow the light with your eyes.Copy !req
366. Okay.Copy !req
367. What are you tryin'
to do, blind me?Copy !req
368. Oh, my God,
I wanna kill you so bad.Copy !req
369. This is excellent.Copy !req
370. Excellent?
No, Doctor, this is not excellent.Copy !req
371. This is an outrage. I'm gonna sue
your ass. I'm gonna sue you.Copy !req
372. Darryl, you are experiencing
advanced rectal irritation.Copy !req
373. But the pain will pass
as your neural pathways adjust.Copy !req
374. Doc, you got nice nails.
Can you scratch this for me, please?Copy !req
375. Right there. Ahh.Copy !req
376. - Oh, yeah.
- To gain control...Copy !req
377. over your senses,
you have to exercise them.Copy !req
378. Your brain is trying to cope with
heightened human perception.Copy !req
379. - You have to help that process.
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
380. Concentrate.Copy !req
381. Focus, and you will gain control
over your supersenses.Copy !req
382. Ow! God. Oh, spread it.
Ohh!Copy !req
383. Hey, Doctor,
can I borrow these?Copy !req
384. Thank you.Copy !req
385. Ahh.Copy !req
386. Oh, yeah.Copy !req
387. Ooh!Copy !req
388. Ahh.Copy !req
389. What's the matter?Copy !req
390. Uh... I got a snag.Copy !req
391. Yeah.Copy !req
392. Yeah.Copy !req
393. - You are weird.
- I'm weird?Copy !req
394. Look at you.
Are you all right?Copy !req
395. - Oh, I'm just not feeling well.
- That's too bad. I'm going over to the hockey rink.Copy !req
396. Ah, I gave up on hockey.Copy !req
397. - It's stupid.
- You gave up?Copy !req
398. I heard back
from Smythe-Bates today.Copy !req
399. I'm not even a finalist.Copy !req
400. - Not a what?
- I'm not a finalist.Copy !req
401. Well, you don't want to be hanging out
with those Wall Street losers anyway.Copy !req
402. What am I gonna tell my mom?Copy !req
403. Oh, dog. I'm sorry.Copy !req
404. Aah.Copy !req
405. Focus, concentrate.Copy !req
406. Find the control.Copy !req
407. Oh, my God.Copy !req
408. Normal.Copy !req
409. Super.Copy !req
410. Normal.Copy !req
411. Super.Copy !req
412. Damn.Copy !req
413. Stratford University would like to
welcome our five excellent finalists,Copy !req
414. their families
and the distinguished executives...Copy !req
415. of the Smythe-Bates company
to this very special banquet.Copy !req
416. Hear, hear.Copy !req
417. You look so sexy
in that bow tie.Copy !req
418. Do you want to come
on over after?Copy !req
419. - Oh, that'd be great. I just wanna lick you up and down.
- Shh.Copy !req
420. I'm gonna tie you
to the bed post...Copy !req
421. and beat the shit out of you
with my black leather whip.Copy !req
422. Hey, Darryl, you eat this kind
of crap, right?Copy !req
423. - Yeah.
- Okay, tell me if it's sweet enough.Copy !req
424. Mmm.Copy !req
425. Mmm, good. Mmm.Copy !req
426. Mmm.Copy !req
427. Where you get this from?
This is the best thing I ever tasted.Copy !req
428. Mmm. Mmm.Copy !req
429. Mmm. God.
Mmm. Delicious!Copy !req
430. Wait, wait.
Your button's all messed up!Copy !req
431. - You're always looking out for me.
- Ooh.Copy !req
432. - Eh, what table you got?
- The dais.Copy !req
433. Well, now you got table four and six.
Thank you.Copy !req
434. Now I have to toss more salads.Copy !req
435. Good evenin', Mr. Tyson and student.Copy !req
436. - Economics.
- Darryl Witherspoon. How are you, sir?Copy !req
437. - This is Robert Bellweather.
- Hey, Mr. Bellweather. Nice to meet you.Copy !req
438. - Pleasure.
- Hello, Darryl.Copy !req
439. - I will be your server this evening.
- Good.Copy !req
440. Yippee.Copy !req
441. You're an impressive candidate,
Mr. Thorpe, and I'm curious...Copy !req
442. to hear about your opinions
on the current state of the market.Copy !req
443. Certainly.
I, uh...Copy !req
444. Uh, Darryl, is it... Can you be a buddy
and go fill that with somethin'?Copy !req
445. What's your opinion
of Shamada Technology, Scott?Copy !req
446. - Shamada.
- Shamada.Copy !req
447. Oh, uh, Shamada Tech.
Right. They...Copy !req
448. - That's a good question. They're, um...
- Here you are, Mr. Tyson.Copy !req
449. An extra salad for you.
Just keep it on the download, okay?Copy !req
450. - That's very generous, but I've got plenty.
- Mr...Copy !req
451. Mr. Tyson, please,
it's the least I can do...Copy !req
452. for the man who's buyin' up Deauville
Publishin', settin' the trend for LBO's.Copy !req
453. I mean, Mr. Tyson, you a genius.Copy !req
454. Thank you.Copy !req
455. No, Mr. Tyson, thank you. Do you realize that
all these other companies follow your lead?Copy !req
456. Let's take Shamada, for example. They're gonna
drop precipitously in the fourth quarter.Copy !req
457. Well, that's very odd.
We were just talking about that.Copy !req
458. Get the...
Out of here!Copy !req
459. You know about this?
How?Copy !req
460. Mr. Tyson, economics is my life.Copy !req
461. Actually, I read in the papers, there's this
Japanese firm coming out with this new chip.Copy !req
462. It's supposed to be twice
as fast and twice as cheap.Copy !req
463. And with the debt that Shamada's
carrying from that last buyout,Copy !req
464. I don't think
they're gonna make it.Copy !req
465. If I was you guys,
I'd sell and sell fast.Copy !req
466. - I already have.
- You did?Copy !req
467. You see, and that is
why this man is a genius.Copy !req
468. - You a genius.
- Hey, uh, waiter, could I get some wine, please?Copy !req
469. - Sure, my little friend. What would you like?
- Who cares? Just go.Copy !req
470. - Night Train it is.
- Uh, Darryl, some butter without salt.Copy !req
471. That's a very bright young man.Copy !req
472. Butter.
Butter, butter, butter.Copy !req
473. Hey, where'd you guys
hide the butter?Copy !req
474. Whoo!Copy !req
475. Yes, it's so nice.
It really seems wonderful.Copy !req
476. Go ahead.
Name a stock.Copy !req
477. Okay, I got one.
Haskell Growth Fund.Copy !req
478. Haskell Growth Fund.Copy !req
479. 341/8.Copy !req
480. Am I right? Come on. Am I right?
Come on. Give it up. Give it up.Copy !req
481. - Brasilia Unified.
- Brasilia Unified.Copy !req
482. Brasilia Unified is...Copy !req
483. 146 flat, down from a high of 180.Copy !req
484. - Ha-ha!
- Ha-ha!Copy !req
485. Fielding Industrials.Copy !req
486. Fielding Industrials.Copy !req
487. Uh, you know, I'm just gonna throw
this one out there.Copy !req
488. You know, I'm just gonna...
just throw it out there.Copy !req
489. Fifty-five.Copy !req
490. - And a half.
- That's it.Copy !req
491. Huh? Huh?
The kid is nice, huh?Copy !req
492. - How'd you memorize all this?
- It's kind of like your wife's bra size.Copy !req
493. If you love it, you'll remember,
huh, tiger? Come on.Copy !req
494. Come on, Mr. Tyson.
What's your wife's bra size?Copy !req
495. - Thirty-six.
- Thirty-six what?Copy !req
496. - C.
- Thirty-six C!Copy !req
497. Well, young man, I haven't had
such an informative meal in some time.Copy !req
498. - I'm glad you enjoyed yourself.
- How did you fail to qualify for the final competition?Copy !req
499. You know, I've been workin' four jobs
just to pay my tuition,Copy !req
500. and, uh, I don't know,
I just blew my final exam.Copy !req
501. Why should such a hard worker
be punished?Copy !req
502. - You know, I feel like bending the rules here.
- Too bad there's already five.Copy !req
503. What do you think, Bellweather?Copy !req
504. He's certainly qualified
for the competition.Copy !req
505. Good. Congratulations, Darryl.
You are now the sixth finalist.Copy !req
506. Mr. Tyson, thank you, sir.
Thank you so much.Copy !req
507. And thank you, Mr. Bellweather.
Thank you, sir.Copy !req
508. I-I promise you,
you will not regret this.Copy !req
509. For your sake, I'd better not.Copy !req
510. But, uh, Mr. Tyson, uh...Copy !req
511. Yes!Copy !req
512. F-D-P-L-T-C-L.Copy !req
513. Okay, other eye, bottom line.Copy !req
514. The Hilsinger Company,
Plainville, Massachusetts,Copy !req
515. 02762, printed in the U.S.A.Copy !req
516. Over in the corner is a fingerprint.
Right there.Copy !req
517. It looks like a smudge
of jelly... strawberry.Copy !req
518. It's the no-frills brand.
Somethin' real cheap.Copy !req
519. Your five senses
are operating at levels...Copy !req
520. no human being
has ever experienced.Copy !req
521. - We have a lot of tests to do.
- Wait, wait, wait. No, Doc. We can't do tests today. I'm late.Copy !req
522. Just hook me up with my drugs,
and let me be on my way.Copy !req
523. Just remember,
follow the regimen exactly.Copy !req
524. - Do not exceed the dosage.
- Okay.Copy !req
525. Oh, Doc, uh, I wanted to apologize
'cause, you know,Copy !req
526. I came down really hard
on you the other day.Copy !req
527. It's just that this drug, man, it's
the best thing that ever happened to me.Copy !req
528. I mean, I feel like for the first time
in my life, I'm on top of the world.Copy !req
529. Darryl, I realize that you feel
very powerful right now.Copy !req
530. Just remember, power is a drug
all its own. Be careful.Copy !req
531. Okay.Copy !req
532. Oh, yeah. And, Doc...
Thank you.Copy !req
533. Whoo!Copy !req
534. Hey, it's the little engine
that could.Copy !req
535. - Hey, what's up, Scott?
- This party's invite only. No invitee, so good nighty.Copy !req
536. Oh, what's the matter, Scott? You feel that
Smythe-Bates job slippin' through your fingers?Copy !req
537. - Huh?
- Dude, your last name could be Smythe-Bates,Copy !req
538. and you still wouldn't get this job,
'cause it's mine.Copy !req
539. - Darryl!
- Hey, how you doin', Mr. Bellweather?Copy !req
540. How are you?
Mr. Tyson.Copy !req
541. - Hey, didn't know you were a Kappa.
- Actually, I'm not.Copy !req
542. Darryl's the one that got away.
Now, if you'll excuse us.Copy !req
543. Well, I think he's the sort of Kappa man
we should be pledging.Copy !req
544. - Absolutely. I agree.
- Well, uh, Darryl's case...Copy !req
545. has already been decided,
I'm sorry to say.Copy !req
546. Scott, uh, we sit on the board of this
fraternity, and we endow it as well.Copy !req
547. I think we've earned
some input, don't you?Copy !req
548. - Hear, hear.
- Brothers, listen up!Copy !req
549. Brother Bob Bellweather and I
would like you...Copy !req
550. to reconsider the pledgeship
of Darryl Witherspoon.Copy !req
551. All in favor of Darryl say "aye."Copy !req
552. - Aye.
- All opposed?Copy !req
553. The ayes have it, Pledge Witherspoon!Copy !req
554. Thanks, Scott.Copy !req
555. Welcome aboard.Copy !req
556. Ooh, baby's got back.Copy !req
557. Oh, my God, Tanya,
I can't believe you said that.Copy !req
558. This place is so packed.Copy !req
559. - I don't know why you drag me to these parties.
- Girl, you come to meet a man.Copy !req
560. Anybody in this stall?Copy !req
561. The problem, Tanya, is that the kind
of guy I wanna meet is never here.Copy !req
562. - Oh, and what kind of guy is that?
- I don't know.Copy !req
563. - Ooh, this seat is cold!
- Respectful, intelligent,Copy !req
564. confident without being
full of himself.Copy !req
565. Ooh, I tell ya. I'm full
of somethin' right about now.Copy !req
566. - Damn.
- It's like everybody wants to be the big man on campus.Copy !req
567. But nobody wants to be
the real man on campus.Copy !req
568. Oh.Copy !req
569. Goddamn, girl, you smell like
somethin' crawled up in you and died.Copy !req
570. - Not you.
- I'm beginning to feel having standards is a curse.Copy !req
571. Damn. What did you eat?Copy !req
572. Corn?
I don't remember eatin' no corn!Copy !req
573. Oh! Ech! Ach!Copy !req
574. - Are you okay in there?
- Girl, I feel like I just gave birth.Copy !req
575. Somebody smack its ass!Copy !req
576. - Darryl.
- Hey.Copy !req
577. I'm surprised to see you here.
Encore performance in the lion's den.Copy !req
578. - I'm impressed.
- Well, thank you.Copy !req
579. Oh, Darryl, this is my friend Tanya.Copy !req
580. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
581. Chaka Khan.Copy !req
582. Well, Janice, I'm gonna leave you and your
friend alone so y'all can get better acquainted.Copy !req
583. You're not here for me, are you?Copy !req
584. 'Cause I'm not worth the humiliation
these guys are gonna...Copy !req
585. - Is that a pledge pin?
- Yes.Copy !req
586. - Where'd you get that?
- Girl, I earned it.Copy !req
587. Look, when you want something, you gotta
be persistent in your passions.Copy !req
588. Damn, you smell good as hell.Copy !req
589. Is that a little bit of oak...Copy !req
590. Some flowers,
a little bit of vanilla?Copy !req
591. Wow, that's exactly right.Copy !req
592. Anyway, I should be going.Copy !req
593. Hey, I'll walk you home.Copy !req
594. - Good night.
- Good night.Copy !req
595. - Whoa, comin' through.
- Hey, watch yourself.Copy !req
596. So?Copy !req
597. I really don't give a damn about
them fraternities, you know?Copy !req
598. I'm just doin' it
'cause it's a means to an end.Copy !req
599. I'm just tryin' to get this job
and help my family out.Copy !req
600. See, I've always been
like a father...Copy !req
601. to my little sister
and my brothers.Copy !req
602. Well, my father's pushing me
to take pre-law classes,Copy !req
603. but what I really love is
my 20th century poets course.Copy !req
604. Hey, you know what.
I think my boy Tim is in your class.Copy !req
605. White guy. Lanky.
Tall. Piercings.Copy !req
606. - Ah, the pincushion kid.
- Yeah.Copy !req
607. What?Copy !req
608. Where are we going?
Darryl, what are you doing?Copy !req
609. Sometimes you find
the most amazing thing...Copy !req
610. in the most unexpected places.Copy !req
611. - What?
- I'm just trying to decide...Copy !req
612. whether I should break
my "no kissing on the first date" rule.Copy !req
613. - Oh, so this was a date?
- No.Copy !req
614. - Oh.
- Just planning ahead.Copy !req
615. That's good.
Hey, don't worry.Copy !req
616. I don't want you to think that I'm just
tryin' to get into your panties.Copy !req
617. I mean, I'm pretty sure
they're really nice panties,Copy !req
618. but I just wanna take it
a little slow.Copy !req
619. How 'bout dinner at my place?
I'll call you.Copy !req
620. - I'll answer.
- Okay.Copy !req
621. - Ooh!
- Say, Jack!Copy !req
622. What wrong with you?Copy !req
623. Junkie gun.
Darryl, no.Copy !req
624. - Hey.
- Hey.Copy !req
625. I was, uh, just in there taking
some special medicine.Copy !req
626. - Yeah. It's all yours.
- Thanks.Copy !req
627. - Good night.
- Good night, eh?Copy !req
628. Yo, Coach! Coach!Copy !req
629. - Witherspoon, what are you doin' in pads?
- I've been practicing.Copy !req
630. - When did you learn to skate like that?
- Uh, I watch Ice Capades videos.Copy !req
631. But please, Coach, let me go out there on
the ice and show you what I can do. Please?Copy !req
632. Just give me one good reason
why I should?Copy !req
633. Holy mother of crap.Copy !req
634. Ooh!Copy !req
635. Ya-Ya!
Come with it.Copy !req
636. Whoo!Copy !req
637. This is Stratford University radio
coming to you live...Copy !req
638. from Baxter Rink,
where the Panthers are set...Copy !req
639. to open their season
against Brownstone U.Copy !req
640. That's right, Chet,
and the only questions this year are...Copy !req
641. how badly will they stink,
how consistently will they stink...Copy !req
642. and will they ever not stink?Copy !req
643. Whoo! Whoo!Copy !req
644. That's the new stopper,
Darryl Witherspoon, who's the first...Copy !req
645. African American to play for Stratford.Copy !req
646. Bender takes a face-off,
passes over to Avery.Copy !req
647. Avery back to Bender.Copy !req
648. - Stay down!
- Ooh, Flushing checked by LaFlour!Copy !req
649. - What got into him?
- Stratford recovers now.Copy !req
650. Pass ahead to LaFlour on the floor now,
chases it down behind the net.Copy !req
651. Ooh, Brownstone regains control as...
Oh, Chet!Copy !req
652. They're really bringin'
on the pain tonight.Copy !req
653. And here comes Bender.
Bender over to Avery.Copy !req
654. Avery back to Bender.
Shot! Save!Copy !req
655. Oh, what a stop by the newcomer, uh,
Darryl... Wither... spoon.Copy !req
656. All right.
Bender now kicks it off.Copy !req
657. Speeding down center ice.
Shot. And the glove save!Copy !req
658. Hard to believe anybody could've stopped
that shot, let alone someone on our team.Copy !req
659. And the Panthers now charge back.
Up ahead to LaFlour.Copy !req
660. LaFlour smoothing down center ice.
Shot! Score!Copy !req
661. And Stratford takes the lead
for the first time in my life!Copy !req
662. And LaFlour wins the face-off
for the Panthers.Copy !req
663. And with just two minutes left in the game,
Stratford still has a one-point lead.Copy !req
664. And rookie Darryl Witherspoon is
just this close to a shutout.Copy !req
665. Ooh, nasty check!Copy !req
666. Brownstone regains control. Pass to
Bender, who shoots! Save, Witherspoon!Copy !req
667. Everyone's gonna be asking
the same question, Chet.Copy !req
668. Where'd this kid come from,
and who the hell is he?Copy !req
669. Ten seconds now left in the game,
and here comes trouble.Copy !req
670. Bender over to Avery. They've drawn
out Witherspoon. The net is wide open.Copy !req
671. Avery to Bender. Shot!Copy !req
672. - Save!
- Stratford wins!Copy !req
673. Stratford wins!
I don't believe it!Copy !req
674. Go, baby!
Whoo!Copy !req
675. I love that kid.Copy !req
676. The Panthers are back,
and, baby, they're black!Copy !req
677. What do you think of this possible
Irving Genetic Wilcom merger, Scott?Copy !req
678. Well, uh, Irving stock
just hit a five-year high,Copy !req
679. so I'd say the outlook's
pretty rosy.Copy !req
680. Scott, you're
a very impressive young man.Copy !req
681. Very impressive, indeed.Copy !req
682. - Hello, Darryl.
- Hi, how you doin', Mr. Tyson?Copy !req
683. Darryl, I'm sorry to keep you waiting,
but Mr. Tyson...Copy !req
684. and I were just interfacing
about some things.Copy !req
685. Oh, really.
You wouldn't happen to be interfacing...Copy !req
686. about the Irving Genetics merger,
would you?Copy !req
687. - Yes, we were.
- Well, I hope you mentioned that the CEO of that company...Copy !req
688. is known for bluffing to drive up his stock
prices right before he sells his own shares.Copy !req
689. - Yes, I did.
- No, you didn't.Copy !req
690. Come on, Darryl.
Thank you, Scott.Copy !req
691. Oopsy.Copy !req
692. Sir, I realize
that I'm last on your list,Copy !req
693. but I want you to know I would do absolutely
anything to get this junior analyst position.Copy !req
694. It's gonna take a lot to convince
that board of mine...Copy !req
695. to pick you over
the other five candidates.Copy !req
696. You know, playing hockey
and becoming a Kappa,Copy !req
697. that helps, but now they have
such high expectations.Copy !req
698. - You think you can match that?
- Match and exceed.Copy !req
699. The board's gonna make its decision
five days after the final competition.Copy !req
700. Bob Bellweather wants to spend some
quality time with each of the candidates.Copy !req
701. So, here you go.
Floor seats, Knicks game, Friday night.Copy !req
702. Floor seats?Copy !req
703. Oh, wow.Copy !req
704. We'll be joined by Arlo Vickers.Copy !req
705. - From Vickers Mining?
- That's right.Copy !req
706. He's considering becoming a client.Copy !req
707. Now, if you can impress him as much as you've
impressed us, that would help quite a bit.Copy !req
708. Sir, say no more.
No problem.Copy !req
709. Oh, that may have been
the best meal I've ever had.Copy !req
710. - Well, thank you.
- Where'd you learn to cook like that?Copy !req
711. Oh, I've just been experimentin'
a little lately.Copy !req
712. See, cooking, it's all about balancing
your taste and smell and texture.Copy !req
713. It's magic.Copy !req
714. Is there anything you can't do?Copy !req
715. Take my eyes off you.Copy !req
716. "Love is a ripe plum
growing on a purple tree."Copy !req
717. "Love is a ripe plum
growing on a purple tree."Copy !req
718. "Taste it once, and the spell of its
enchantment will never let you be."Copy !req
719. "Taste it once, and the spell of
its enchantment will never let you be."Copy !req
720. Langston Hughes.
You know Langston Hughes?Copy !req
721. Yeah, I know Langston Hughes.Copy !req
722. "Love is a bright star glowing
in the far southern skies."Copy !req
723. "Love is a bright star glowing
in the far southern skies."Copy !req
724. "Look too hard, and its burning flame
will always hurt your eyes."Copy !req
725. "Look too hard,
and its burning flame...Copy !req
726. will always hurt your eyes."Copy !req
727. "These feelings of love,
truth be told,Copy !req
728. All I want is..."Copy !req
729. "All I want is to..."Copy !req
730. Score!Copy !req
731. Score!Copy !req
732. Oh.Copy !req
733. Oh, God. Uh.Copy !req
734. No touch...
No touching.Copy !req
735. Whoo!Copy !req
736. You the best.Copy !req
737. You've got to be kidding.Copy !req
738. Excuse me, how much will I get
for filling this?Copy !req
739. Oh, um, ooh...Copy !req
740. Hey.
Ha-Ha.Copy !req
741. What a surprise.Copy !req
742. Hey, relax,
I just saw you last week.Copy !req
743. Everybody, hi.
This is Janice.Copy !req
744. Hi!Copy !req
745. - This is April, my beautiful little sister.
- Hi.Copy !req
746. - And this is my little man, Darius.
- Hi.Copy !req
747. And that's Brandon.
And this right here is...Copy !req
748. Hello there, my beautiful sister.Copy !req
749. Hey, man. Watch out.
This one's mine.Copy !req
750. You better watch your back.Copy !req
751. Let me get a good look at my Darryl's
girl. Oh, you are a pretty thing.Copy !req
752. Hey, come here.Copy !req
753. - Hey, hey. You been smokin' cigarettes?
- Uh-uh.Copy !req
754. - Don't lie to me. Yes.
- Yes, you have.Copy !req
755. Menthol. Let me tell you something.
If I catch you smokin' cigarettes,Copy !req
756. I'm gonna put somethin' on you,
you understand me?Copy !req
757. - We good? All right.
- Mm-hmm. We good.Copy !req
758. - Come here.
- Oh, man.Copy !req
759. Uh-huh. Go on.
Now we good.Copy !req
760. So, Janice, were you
in the gifted class?Copy !req
761. - Oh, we had a program at so...
- 'Cause you know my Darryl needs a gifted woman.Copy !req
762. After all, he was the smartest child
in his high school class.Copy !req
763. Except for that Korean girl.
What was her name, Darryl?Copy !req
764. Fat Crack Ho, or somethin' like that.Copy !req
765. Hey. About in the hall, I heard Mom
talking with your teachers on the phone.Copy !req
766. - You messing up in school again?
- No.Copy !req
767. I didn't do nothin'.
Where'd you hear that from?Copy !req
768. I got magic ears
like a superhero, see?Copy !req
769. - Yeah, right.
- Hey, look.Copy !req
770. I make you a deal. I'll give you
a quarter for every "A" you get.Copy !req
771. - A quarter?
- Okay, all right. A dollar.Copy !req
772. Man, you're an economics major.
Ain't you heard of inflation?Copy !req
773. - Hey, Ma. Here.
- Uh-uh, honey.Copy !req
774. Take it.
You need it more than I do.Copy !req
775. Thank you, Darryl.Copy !req
776. Normally I wouldn't take this.Copy !req
777. When I get this job, gonna be
a whole lot more where that came from.Copy !req
778. You know, Janice, whenever I get angry
about their daddy leaving,Copy !req
779. I just remember
what he left behind.Copy !req
780. What's up, dude?Copy !req
781. Hello, baby.Copy !req
782. Aah!Copy !req
783. Hey.Copy !req
784. - Taking more medicine?
- Yep.Copy !req
785. How's that goin', eh?Copy !req
786. Dude, it's going great. It's like
the best thing that ever happened to me.Copy !req
787. Ever since I started taking
this medicine, I feel so focused.Copy !req
788. I mean, things are absolutely great
between me and Janice;Copy !req
789. I'm this close to getting into a frat;
I'm a shoo-in for the Smythe-Bates job...Copy !req
790. - You're playing like an all-star hockey goalie, huh?
- It's the medicine!Copy !req
791. You act like you're invincible. That medicine
doesn't make you a different person.Copy !req
792. - You're still the same old Darryl.
- Yeah?Copy !req
793. Well, tomorrow, I'm gonna be
the same old Darryl... times two.Copy !req
794. A double dose won't kill me.Copy !req
795. What the hell's wrong with my arm?Copy !req
796. My arm is asleep.Copy !req
797. You didn't...Copy !req
798. exceed the dosage, did you?Copy !req
799. What? Exceed the...Copy !req
800. Come on, Doctor.
What am I, stupid? Yes, I did.Copy !req
801. Darryl, what were you thinking?Copy !req
802. I don't know.Copy !req
803. I have to generate all new data.Copy !req
804. To hell with your data.
What is my problem?Copy !req
805. A flood of serotonin...Copy !req
806. has desensitized your receptors.Copy !req
807. The neural plasticity...Copy !req
808. Of your brain has compensated...Copy !req
809. by allowing you the use of only four
of your given senses at any given time,Copy !req
810. with the missing one
constantly switching.Copy !req
811. So, if you can see,
smell, taste and hear,Copy !req
812. you can't feel anything.Copy !req
813. And if you can feel, smell,
taste and hear, you can't see.Copy !req
814. - And if you can see, feel...
- Okay, okay!Copy !req
815. Doc, I get the point.
Just tell me, how do you fix it?Copy !req
816. It's nothing I can fix.Copy !req
817. The drug just has to...
Pass through your system.Copy !req
818. Trust me.
You'll know when it's gone.Copy !req
819. And how long will that take?Copy !req
820. Three days.
And I suggest you stay in bed.Copy !req
821. Doc, the next three days
are going to decide my life.Copy !req
822. The Smythe-Bates competition
is on Monday.Copy !req
823. - God, this is like a bad dream.
- Darryl.Copy !req
824. Your condition is...
highly unstable.Copy !req
825. With your senses
switching on and off...Copy !req
826. without warning, anything...Copy !req
827. Doctor, I'm pretty sure
what you're saying...Copy !req
828. would make a whole lot more sense
if I could hear you!Copy !req
829. Ladies and gentlemen,
welcome to Madison Square Garden,Copy !req
830. the home of your New York Knicks.Copy !req
831. Man, I love the Knicks.Copy !req
832. You know, when I was little,
I used to always watch the game on TV...Copy !req
833. and I used to always say, "I wonder who all
those lucky people are sitting courtside."Copy !req
834. - Now you're the lucky one, huh?
- Thanks to you.Copy !req
835. - Hey, you the man.
- I am.Copy !req
836. Gentlemen.Copy !req
837. - Tyson.
- Glad you could make it.Copy !req
838. Mr. Vickers.
I'm Darryl Witherspoon.Copy !req
839. - It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, sir.
- Nice meeting you too, Darryl.Copy !req
840. It's a pleasure.Copy !req
841. the group discount ticket...
Hey, Darryl.Copy !req
842. What say we get some beers and nuts?Copy !req
843. Uh... Hey, I have a great idea.Copy !req
844. What do you say we all
get something to drink?Copy !req
845. Wait.
Let's get some beers!Copy !req
846. Huh? Huh?Copy !req
847. And now,
ladies and gentlemen, please rise...Copy !req
848. for the national anthem.Copy !req
849. Hey, wait. Sit down!
I'll grab 'em. Sit. Hey!Copy !req
850. Hey! Beer!Copy !req
851. Why is everybody standing?
Excuse me. Cuckoo!Copy !req
852. Excuse me!
Beer, please!Copy !req
853. There must be a fight or something.
Everybody's standing up.Copy !req
854. Excuse me. Excuse me. Oh!Copy !req
855. - Hey!
- Beers!Copy !req
856. Thank God one of you's
got a goddamn pulse.Copy !req
857. Beer!Copy !req
858. Beer! Beer!Copy !req
859. Beer!Copy !req
860. No. No, not now!Copy !req
861. I'm sorry. Excuse me. My bad.
I'm sorry. My bad.Copy !req
862. Damn it. Hey, Arlo.Copy !req
863. Move over.Copy !req
864. Don't tell me. Knicks are losing.
Man, they suck!Copy !req
865. That Patrick Ewing,
boy, he's a bum.Copy !req
866. I mean, 7'10", and can't make an easy
layup. That's just a waste of height.Copy !req
867. You seen Patrick Ewing's
"Got Milk" commercial?Copy !req
868. Man, "Got Milk"? I had milk since I seen
Patrick Ewing's ugly ass drinking it.Copy !req
869. He make a mother lactose intolerant.Copy !req
870. He look like a Haitian Sasquatch!Copy !req
871. Jamaican.Copy !req
872. Jamaican?Copy !req
873. Hi, Mr. Ewing.Copy !req
874. Mr. Ewing, I think you're beautiful.
No! Mr. Ewing, wait. Mr. Ewing.Copy !req
875. Mr. Ewing!Copy !req
876. You're still ugly, motherfucker.Copy !req
877. So, how bad did I do?Copy !req
878. - Well, Vickers is signing the papers tomorrow.
- Vickers is gonna sign?Copy !req
879. You're gonna get the account?Copy !req
880. You don't look happy.Copy !req
881. If it weren't for the fact Arlo Vickers
is one-quarter man, three-quarters pig,Copy !req
882. you'd be gone.Copy !req
883. I'll see you Sunday at the hockey game.Copy !req
884. - I expect, for your sake, you'll be at your best?
- Yes, sir.Copy !req
885. Don't worry about it.Copy !req
886. I can't smell a thing.Copy !req
887. Pusher lady.Copy !req
888. Yeah?Copy !req
889. - Hey! Uh...
- Lorraine.Copy !req
890. I've been watching you
around campus,Copy !req
891. and I like what I've seen.Copy !req
892. Oh, I ain't mad at you, girl.Copy !req
893. Wait. Aren't you
Janice's sorority sister?Copy !req
894. You know Janice, right?
My girlfriend Janice?Copy !req
895. I know her.Copy !req
896. I thought we'd listen
to a little music...Copy !req
897. and drink a little
wine, get to know each other better.Copy !req
898. You know...Copy !req
899. I'm sorry. I didn't hear you.Copy !req
900. I'd like to get
out of these clothes...Copy !req
901. and into... you.Copy !req
902. - They smack who's 'ho?
- Excuse me?Copy !req
903. Sushi?
No, I don't know him.Copy !req
904. Little brother, I don't know why you're
trippin', okay? Because I am the bomb.Copy !req
905. And I can have any man I want,
go anywhere I want, and I came here.Copy !req
906. I can hear you.Copy !req
907. I mean, I'm here with you.Copy !req
908. But I'm not supposed to be.Copy !req
909. Lorraine, you gotta go.Copy !req
910. I will... when I'm done.Copy !req
911. - Come with me.
- Okay.Copy !req
912. Oh, no. Ouch!Copy !req
913. - Where are you going?
- Um...Copy !req
914. I just, uh, came over here to...
to get this.Copy !req
915. Ooh, a stapler!Copy !req
916. - That's so freaky!
- Oh, yeah, that's me... Freaky Deeky, girl.Copy !req
917. - Mmm! Show me some more.
- Okay, get on...Copy !req
918. Do you like these?Copy !req
919. Uh... yeah, that's nice.
You make 'em yourself?Copy !req
920. No, silly.
I had a doctor do 'em for me.Copy !req
921. Wow!Copy !req
922. - And what a mighty fine physician he was. God!
- Go ahead and touch 'em.Copy !req
923. You know you want to.
Don't be afraid. Touch 'em!Copy !req
924. Ooh!
Ooh, you like it rough.Copy !req
925. Oh, God.Copy !req
926. That's different.Copy !req
927. Oh, oh, God.Copy !req
928. Mm.Copy !req
929. Mm.Copy !req
930. What's happening?Copy !req
931. What's the matter, baby?Copy !req
932. I can't feel my mouth.Copy !req
933. - Is it asleep?
- Yes, my mouth is asleep.Copy !req
934. Let me wake it up.Copy !req
935. - You like this, don't you?
- Yes.Copy !req
936. Oh! No, wait, wait.Copy !req
937. - This is your first time?
- Well, actually, not my first time.Copy !req
938. My first time,
I was about 17...Copy !req
939. Oh, it's... it's okay.Copy !req
940. I think you're sexy, and besides,
you always remember your first.Copy !req
941. Oh, God.Copy !req
942. I can't feel nothing.
I can't feel no...Copy !req
943. - Uh... Th-That... No, that's good.
- You feel this, huh?Copy !req
944. Oh, yeah, that's good.Copy !req
945. What about this?Copy !req
946. - Oh, yeah. I feel that...
- Take me.Copy !req
947. I would love to, but it looks like
little homey's asleep.Copy !req
948. Huh? Oh, no.Copy !req
949. No. Wake up!
Wake up!Copy !req
950. He's gonna wake up.
He'll wake up.Copy !req
951. Wake up.
Lorraine! No.Copy !req
952. Hold on! Don't leave!
Wake up!Copy !req
953. Wake...Copy !req
954. I thought you liked women.Copy !req
955. I love women.Copy !req
956. - Good luck.
- I love women.Copy !req
957. Oh, really?Copy !req
958. Hi, Janice.
I'm glad to see you, baby.Copy !req
959. You cheated on me
with that piece of trash?Copy !req
960. Baby, I didn't do anything.Copy !req
961. I couldn't even get it up.Copy !req
962. Ow.Copy !req
963. Oh, my God!
He's OD'd!Copy !req
964. No, dog!
Don't leave us, dog!Copy !req
965. Don't you go down that tunnel!Copy !req
966. Let me check his eyes.Copy !req
967. Damn it!
His pupils are dilated.Copy !req
968. Dude, you gotta turn his head. If he
pukes, he's gonna choke on his barf.Copy !req
969. Just back up, okay?
He's gonna shit on himself.Copy !req
970. This is an epinephrine shot
straight to the heart.Copy !req
971. It's the only way.Copy !req
972. No, let me do it.Copy !req
973. I love him.Copy !req
974. Call it an intervention. We were just
trying to help you out, Darryl.Copy !req
975. Help me?
Tim, let's say this gets out.Copy !req
976. People are gonna think
I'm a smackhead.Copy !req
977. The word's "addict." And I think
you should respect the problem, eh?Copy !req
978. - I don't have a problem!
- Don't yell at me.Copy !req
979. I don't have a problem.Copy !req
980. It was an experimental medicine given to me by
the university, and it messed up my senses.Copy !req
981. That and heroin?Copy !req
982. - I am not on heroin!
- Don't yell at me.Copy !req
983. I'm not yelling at you.Copy !req
984. Understand, I'm in a bad state.Copy !req
985. And you, my friend,
you're making it worse, okay?Copy !req
986. My private life is a mess, and God knows
what the hell's happening with my career.Copy !req
987. And I'm not yelling at you.Copy !req
988. To get Hell Night
started off with a bang.Copy !req
989. I'd like you little plebes to join me
in a putrid bowl of liquid shit.Copy !req
990. Sounds good.Copy !req
991. - I'm buying.
- Hey.Copy !req
992. Witherspoon.
There's my favorite jackass.Copy !req
993. Hi, Scott.
Sorry I'm late.Copy !req
994. Oh, wow. Is that punch?
Looks good.Copy !req
995. It is good.
Have a sip.Copy !req
996. - Thanks, Scott.
- You're surely welcome.Copy !req
997. Yuck.Copy !req
998. Holy crap.Copy !req
999. A little bland.Copy !req
1000. Your final test before you enter
the Kappa brotherhood is a tricky one.Copy !req
1001. Remember, a chain is only as strong
as its weakest link.Copy !req
1002. And, Witherspoon, everybody knows
you're the weakest link.Copy !req
1003. - Move it, scum!
- Weak links must be forged in fire.Copy !req
1004. - Hold on, Scott. Scott...
- Get over there, buddy. Come on now.Copy !req
1005. Let's go.
Take the hits.Copy !req
1006. Aah! Yeah, like that.Copy !req
1007. - I don't feel anything.
- Aah! You suck!Copy !req
1008. Aah!Copy !req
1009. - Aah!
- Jesus.Copy !req
1010. Yeah!Copy !req
1011. My mama hits harder
than that.Copy !req
1012. Yeah!Copy !req
1013. Tonight, your Panthers
face off against the mighty team...Copy !req
1014. from Astoria University for
a chance to lead the division...Copy !req
1015. in something other than tuition.Copy !req
1016. Chet, the Panthers haven't
beaten Astoria in 30 years,Copy !req
1017. but with Witherspoon in net
this charged-up Stratford crowd...Copy !req
1018. has found a reason to believe.Copy !req
1019. And Astoria takes
the face-off and races down the ice...Copy !req
1020. towards star goalie Witherspoon.Copy !req
1021. Oh! Witherspoon takes out
one of the good guys!Copy !req
1022. And Astoria picks up a gimme.Copy !req
1023. Yeah!Copy !req
1024. Whoo!Copy !req
1025. - Goddamn!
- Ah, God! Come on!Copy !req
1026. I'm gonna get outta here. Let's go.Copy !req
1027. With five minutes left,
Astoria leads by 12.Copy !req
1028. Where is it? Where is it?Copy !req
1029. This sucks!Copy !req
1030. Janice, baby, please be home.Copy !req
1031. Don't say anything, please.Copy !req
1032. Oh. God, this is
so hard for me.Copy !req
1033. I'm sorry. You believed in me
when nobody else did.Copy !req
1034. You made me feel special,
and I let you down.Copy !req
1035. I betrayed you;
I hurt you.Copy !req
1036. And because of that, I might
lose something that I want so much.Copy !req
1037. I'm not gonna lose it
without a fight.Copy !req
1038. Look, I know this sounds crazy, but...
I think I love you.Copy !req
1039. I love the way you feel; I love the way
you smell; I love your body.Copy !req
1040. Damn, baby, your breasts got big!
Ohh!Copy !req
1041. No!Copy !req
1042. Daddy, what...Copy !req
1043. Darryl?Copy !req
1044. This is the guy
I was telling you about.Copy !req
1045. Darryl?Copy !req
1046. Mr. Tyson?
What the hell are you doing here?Copy !req
1047. - This is my daughter.
- That's your father?Copy !req
1048. So your mama must be black.Copy !req
1049. Mr. Tyson, are you dipping
in the chocolate?Copy !req
1050. Is this the young man
you've been seeing?Copy !req
1051. Save your breath.
I've already given myself the lecture.Copy !req
1052. Now I'm gonna give you
the lecture, Darryl.Copy !req
1053. Next time you wanna pull that whole
sweet, honest, decent young man con,Copy !req
1054. do it on someone else.Copy !req
1055. It wasn't a con.
I am that man.Copy !req
1056. - Spare me, Darryl.
- I'm just going through a whole lot of stuff right now, okay?Copy !req
1057. - What stuff?
- Well...Copy !req
1058. You know, I don't want to hear it.Copy !req
1059. Look, it doesn't matter, okay?
It'll all be over soon, I promise.Copy !req
1060. Look, I'm every bit
the man I said I was.Copy !req
1061. - Why should I believe you?
- Because I need you to.Copy !req
1062. Come on.
Trust me.Copy !req
1063. I wish I could.Copy !req
1064. J...Copy !req
1065. Hey.Copy !req
1066. Tim. Where you been, man?
I've been looking all over town for you.Copy !req
1067. - Look, I need your help, bro.
- Yeah, anything.Copy !req
1068. All right. Look. Tomorrow's the final
competition for the Smythe-Bates job.Copy !req
1069. Dude, I gotta study.
Will you help me?Copy !req
1070. Hell, yeah.Copy !req
1071. I appreciate you helping me
study like this, Dad.Copy !req
1072. I'm not going to help you; they are.Copy !req
1073. - When growth funds do well, value funds do what?
- Not so well.Copy !req
1074. - As you can see...
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
1075. Is perfect competition possible?
The analytic model...Copy !req
1076. - When growth funds do well, value funds do...
- Not so well.Copy !req
1077. - Because?
- Because I said so. Can we move on?Copy !req
1078. That isn't enough, Scott.
What you're missing is the reason why.Copy !req
1079. No, what I'm missing is the latte
I ordered ten minutes ago.Copy !req
1080. Well, I drink like a squid.Copy !req
1081. The NASDAQ rebounded sharply
from last week's slump...Copy !req
1082. Hey, my stocks are up.Copy !req
1083. That doesn't make sense. Hey, smack him
on the ass with that thing, will ya?Copy !req
1084. Yeah, do it. No, don't do it.
I'm kidding.Copy !req
1085. - You really know this stuff.
- Yeah.Copy !req
1086. Yeah, I like it rough. But you
gotta speak up. I can't hear you!Copy !req
1087. Janice? Baby?Copy !req
1088. Janice, it's me, Darryl.
Come on, baby. Pick up.Copy !req
1089. No, I don't think the vice chairman of the
Federal Reserve would do that in this case.Copy !req
1090. Uh-huh.
And who are you to say that?Copy !req
1091. The, um, vice chairman
of the Federal Reserve.Copy !req
1092. - Ouch.
- But the bottom dropped out of the market...Copy !req
1093. - In 1976 because of a hurricane that destroyed the crops.
- All right!Copy !req
1094. In between manufacturers
of gross media parts is ignored,Copy !req
1095. as is the chain
of events that goes...Copy !req
1096. "l" equals delta...Copy !req
1097. Dog, you gotta go, eh?Copy !req
1098. I can't go, man.
I still don't have this chart down.Copy !req
1099. Dude, you've been studying
your ass off all night.Copy !req
1100. - Put some faith in fate. You're the man.
- All right.Copy !req
1101. I think this Protocol 563
is finally leaving my system.Copy !req
1102. Hey, dog, I just wanted to thank...Copy !req
1103. - Forget it.
- I'll take care of the tip.Copy !req
1104. All right.Copy !req
1105. Oh, no!Copy !req
1106. No!Copy !req
1107. Excuse me. I'm sorry.
Excuse me.Copy !req
1108. Excuse me. Excuse me.
Excuse me. Excuse me.Copy !req
1109. - Hey, what's up?
- Hi. Hey.Copy !req
1110. - How you doing?
- Hey, listen.Copy !req
1111. I was wondering if you could show me
where the Smythe-Bates building is.Copy !req
1112. - You can't see?
- Mm-mm, no.Copy !req
1113. - You visually in-com-paired?
- Impaired.Copy !req
1114. Yeah, I can help you out, man.Copy !req
1115. - Oh, thank you, man. Thank you, brother.
- Brothers gotta stick together.Copy !req
1116. - Oh, definitely. Thank you, brother.
- Yeah, yeah.Copy !req
1117. - You know, I know a shortcut.
- Oh, really?Copy !req
1118. - Yeah. This way.
- Oh, thank you. Thank you.Copy !req
1119. - Quick, hurry.
- Thank God I met someone like you.Copy !req
1120. - No, thank God I met somebody like you.
- Huh?Copy !req
1121. No, I don't have it.
Please, please...Copy !req
1122. Just leave me alone.
Go away! Stop it!Copy !req
1123. Excuse me.
Excuse me.Copy !req
1124. Excuse me, sir. Can you show me where
the suits are? The drawers? Something.Copy !req
1125. - This guy is on break right here, brother.
- Oh, how you doing?Copy !req
1126. - Maybe I can help you.
- I've got this interview across the street in ten minutes.Copy !req
1127. I just got robbed. That's why
I'm sitting in your store assed out.Copy !req
1128. - Look! Literally!
- Yeah. Come on. Come on. This way. Follow me.Copy !req
1129. Listen, my man.
I got $50 in my right sock.Copy !req
1130. I need this suit. I will come back
tomorrow and pay you, I promise.Copy !req
1131. - Okay. Young blind brother, I'm gonna fix you up real good.
- My man.Copy !req
1132. Smythe-Bates. May I help you?Copy !req
1133. Excuse me.
Is this the 12th floor?Copy !req
1134. - Yes. Sir, may I help you?
- Yes.Copy !req
1135. Where's the men's room?Copy !req
1136. What the...Copy !req
1137. No! I'll kill him!Copy !req
1138. Aw, shit!
Oh, what else can go wrong?Copy !req
1139. No! No!Copy !req
1140. No!Copy !req
1141. No!Copy !req
1142. The drug just
has to pass through your system.Copy !req
1143. Trust me,
you'll know when it's gone.Copy !req
1144. Oh, no.Copy !req
1145. Together.Copy !req
1146. Get... your shit together.Copy !req
1147. I'm gonna pay you guys back.Copy !req
1148. Can you believe me and the boys in
Leverage Buyout got into a water fight?Copy !req
1149. No. They're ready
for you... now.Copy !req
1150. - What time is it?
- Twenty after.Copy !req
1151. I made it. You're going to have
to excuse the suit.Copy !req
1152. Come to find out, I'm allergic
to everything but polyester.Copy !req
1153. My, uh, doctor prescribed
this suit for me.Copy !req
1154. Ladies and gentlemen,
we would like to welcome you...Copy !req
1155. here on this day
of final competition...Copy !req
1156. for the position of junior analyst.Copy !req
1157. And we'll begin our questioning
with you, Mr. Thorpe.Copy !req
1158. Now, in structuring a portfolio
for your client,Copy !req
1159. what are the three
most important rules?Copy !req
1160. Well, first thing I'd do is talk to
my client about his long-term goals.Copy !req
1161. - Once those are explained to me...
- Goods and services...Copy !req
1162. are exempt from the discounting
which classical theory demands.Copy !req
1163. The effect of taxes defined by the Laffer
Curve cannot be considered as valid...Copy !req
1164. The leverage gained by buying on
the market will multiply your returns...Copy !req
1165. For our primary analysis, equity can't be
considered in the same tier as secured debt.Copy !req
1166. Small cap funds overpower
high cap funds over time...Copy !req
1167. If the poison pill doesn't work, you got a
proxy war that's gonna depress your price.Copy !req
1168. At this point, we would
excuse three of our contestants.Copy !req
1169. Fine job.
Show them our appreciation.Copy !req
1170. Mr. Auseppe, why would the Federal
Reserve have resorted to this?Copy !req
1171. I believe that would be in order to
maintain a constant rate of growth...Copy !req
1172. while avoiding incurring
any excess inflation.Copy !req
1173. Thank you, Mr. Auseppe.
You may step down. And fine job.Copy !req
1174. Now, we are down
to our final two contestants:Copy !req
1175. - Mr. Scott Thorpe...
- You lost your bitches, pimp daddy?Copy !req
1176. - And Mr. Darryl Witherspoon.
- What's up?Copy !req
1177. Mr. Thorpe, if you were
to be given control...Copy !req
1178. of the Smythe-Bates
venture capital fund,Copy !req
1179. where would you take it
over the next five years?Copy !req
1180. Well, I think start-up industries
in emerging markets...Copy !req
1181. are the kind of low-risk,
high-gain strategy I would pursue.Copy !req
1182. Ah, so the rich get richer
off the sweat of the poor, right, Scott?Copy !req
1183. Maybe you should pay a visit...Copy !req
1184. to one of those emerging markets
you're so eager to exploit.Copy !req
1185. I summered in Cancun.Copy !req
1186. If that were me, I'd start a community-based
bank and invest in areas...Copy !req
1187. that these larger banks abandon.Copy !req
1188. Abandon for good reason.
That's why the poor get poorer.Copy !req
1189. - Who taught you that? Your father?
- Where's your father tonight?Copy !req
1190. I'm about to kick your little ass.
That's where he's at.Copy !req
1191. Gentlemen, please.
Let's keep it civil.Copy !req
1192. We've got two excellent answers.
Looks like we have a tie here.Copy !req
1193. - Mm-hmm.
- Professor Engel?Copy !req
1194. All right, gentlemen.
This last question is not a simple one,Copy !req
1195. so I suggest that you choose
your answers very carefully.Copy !req
1196. Now, looking at this chart, what should
the Federal Reserve choose to do?Copy !req
1197. If I were, say,
vice chairman of the Federal Reserve,Copy !req
1198. I'd raise rates.Copy !req
1199. Excellent.Copy !req
1200. - Mm-hmm.
- Why?Copy !req
1201. Hmm? "Why"?Copy !req
1202. Because...
That's a good question.Copy !req
1203. L...Copy !req
1204. Uh, I have to say that I...Copy !req
1205. don't know the answer.Copy !req
1206. Mr. Witherspoon?
Mr. Witherspoon?Copy !req
1207. Yo!Copy !req
1208. Oh. Why raise the rates?Copy !req
1209. Well... because of this chart
reflecting Simon's theory.Copy !req
1210. John Simon, born in 1908
in Westbridge, Indiana,Copy !req
1211. predicts the future of inflation
with the formula:Copy !req
1212. I = delta MP
over the square of T.Copy !req
1213. Thus, requiring
federal correction...Copy !req
1214. as evidenced by the board
in 1958, '67 and 1984.Copy !req
1215. Darryl, you've got the job.Copy !req
1216. Wow!Copy !req
1217. Thank you.Copy !req
1218. Ebonically speaking,
I know my shit.Copy !req
1219. Thank you!Copy !req
1220. Wait. Hold up, people, please.
I have something to say.Copy !req
1221. I cheated.Copy !req
1222. No, not today. I studied very hard
for this test today.Copy !req
1223. But I had an extra edge
in becoming a finalist.Copy !req
1224. Not my athletic talent
and not money.Copy !req
1225. And it wasn't my daddy.Copy !req
1226. - It was an experimental drug.
- Oh!Copy !req
1227. But it wasn't heroin!Copy !req
1228. - He's not on the horse.
- Tim, shut up.Copy !req
1229. Sorry, but he's not using.Copy !req
1230. It's all right.Copy !req
1231. Mr. Tyson, Mr. Bellweather,Copy !req
1232. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1233. I was just willing to do anything
to become a Smythe-Bates man,Copy !req
1234. even the wrong thing.Copy !req
1235. I want you to know
I do deserve the job,Copy !req
1236. even though I
didn't earn it honestly.Copy !req
1237. And that's the whole story.
Look, I'm sorry if I let you guys down.Copy !req
1238. You can't cut me off!
I'm your son! You love me!Copy !req
1239. Remember that time
you almost said it?Copy !req
1240. Well, folks, the board
has come to a decision.Copy !req
1241. There will be no junior analyst position
awarded this year.Copy !req
1242. But you still proved yourself
the most impressive candidate.Copy !req
1243. Come on, kids.Copy !req
1244. Darryl, do you think that I was
a junior analyst right out of Stratford?Copy !req
1245. Yeah.Copy !req
1246. - Darryl, Daddy started in the mail room.
- Get outta here!Copy !req
1247. I tried to be the junior analyst, but...
I didn't come from money.Copy !req
1248. I didn't play sports, so...
Sound familiar?Copy !req
1249. So what are you saying? That you wasn't
a Smythe-Bates man either?Copy !req
1250. But I am, because I know
my job and I work hard.Copy !req
1251. Do you know who
that reminds me of?Copy !req
1252. - Me.
- That's right.Copy !req
1253. You are a Smythe-Bates man too,Copy !req
1254. so you're going to have
a second chance.Copy !req
1255. At the point of graduation,
you'll be given a job in the mail room.Copy !req
1256. Doesn't sound like much,
but if you work hard,Copy !req
1257. in a year you'll make
a fine junior analyst.Copy !req
1258. Maybe a great son-in-law too?Copy !req
1259. Don't push it.Copy !req
1260. - Heh-heh!
- Cool.Copy !req
1261. Everybody, a toast to my baby Darryl.Copy !req
1262. Thank you for everything
that you've done for us.Copy !req
1263. And good luck tomorrow...Copy !req
1264. on your first day as a junior analyst
at Smythe-Bates.Copy !req
1265. Darius!Copy !req
1266. Touch that champagne bottle one more time,
I'm gonna use your little ass as a cork!Copy !req
1267. Tim, let me take the camera so I can
shoot you and your new girlfriend.Copy !req
1268. Go stand over there.Copy !req
1269. I just wanna make a toast, eh?Copy !req
1270. Uh... Come here, honey.Copy !req
1271. - I hate those things too, but...
- Get in there, Lorraine.Copy !req
1272. Ahsalam, Mrs. W.Copy !req
1273. To... To Darryl.Copy !req
1274. To your continued success
on Wall Street, eh?Copy !req
1275. Thank you.Copy !req
1276. Ma, are you gonna take me up
on my offer?Copy !req
1277. Darryl, I've lived here all my life.
Besides, the place looks so nice now.Copy !req
1278. But it's such a bad neighborhood.Copy !req
1279. Why don't you let me move you over to the
East Side, to a deluxe apartment, hmm?Copy !req
1280. - Hi. How are you?
- Fine.Copy !req