1. - Hello.
- Wanna have a little fun?Copy !req
2. - Who's this?
- Tell me your name and I'll tell you mine.Copy !req
3. I don't think so.Copy !req
4. - What's that noise?
- Oops. I farted.Copy !req
5. - I didn't think you would hear me.
- No, that popping noise.Copy !req
6. Oh. I'm making popcorn.
I'm getting ready to watch a video.Copy !req
7. - Ooh. What is it?
- It's just a scary movie.Copy !req
8. - Do you like scary movies?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
9. - What's your favorite?
- Mm, I don't know.Copy !req
10. Think.Copy !req
11. Oh, I know. Um, Kazaam,
the one where Shaq plays a genie.Copy !req
12. - That's not a horror movie.
- Well, you haven't seen Shaq act.Copy !req
13. - Hey, you have a nice voice.
- Thanks.Copy !req
14. You never did tell me your name.Copy !req
15. Why do you wanna know my name?Copy !req
16. Cause I wanna know
who I'm looking at.Copy !req
17. What—
What did you say?Copy !req
18. Nice breasts.Copy !req
19. Look, what do you want?Copy !req
20. I wanna see
what your insides look like.Copy !req
21. Well— Well, then,
turn to page 54.Copy !req
22. Oh.Copy !req
23. Hey, nice.Copy !req
24. Listen, asshole, you've had your fun,
now you better stop or else.Copy !req
25. - Or else what?
- Or else my boyfriends
gonna be here any minute,Copy !req
26. and he's black
and he'll kick your ass.Copy !req
27. - Oh, really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
28. You mean the one who wears makeup
and dresses like a woman?Copy !req
29. - How did you know?
- Turn the porch lights on.Copy !req
30. Help! Help!Copy !req
31. Oh, that's not my boyfriend.
I mean, I'veCopy !req
32. fucked him a couple of
times, but that's it.Copy !req
33. Look, I'm calling the cops.Copy !req
34. Go ahead. Call the cops.Copy !req
35. But you might wanna
check the back door first.Copy !req
36. You forgot to lock it.Copy !req
37. Take that, you psycho!Copy !req
38. I cant feel my legs.Copy !req
39. I think my arm is broken.Copy !req
40. - Sorry.
- I want my mommy.Copy !req
41. Hello, Drew.Copy !req
42. Oh, God!Copy !req
43. - Daddy! Daddy!
- Ugh!Copy !req
44. Daddy!Copy !req
45. Daddy!Copy !req
46. Daddy, no! No!Copy !req
47. - Did you hear something?
- No, I didn't hear anything.Copy !req
48. Bobby, what are you doing?
My dads in the other room.Copy !req
49. It just occurred to me. I never
climbed through your window before.Copy !req
50. Now that you got it out of your system,
Bobby, you have to leave.Copy !req
51. Why?Copy !req
52. Shh. Come on.Copy !req
53. What's going on in there?Copy !req
54. Ow! Daddy's head is stuck.
Unstick Daddy's head.Copy !req
55. Dad, can you knock?Copy !req
56. - Knock?
I thought I heard screaming in here.
- No. No, you didn't, Dad.Copy !req
57. Well, it could've been that crack
I smoked earlier, I guess.Copy !req
58. - Yeah.
- Yeah, that's what it was.Copy !req
59. I gotta leave town
for a couple of days.Copy !req
60. No big deal. Just that new business
I started with those Colombian guys?Copy !req
61. - Oh, you mean Uncle Escobar.
- Yeah. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
62. Well, there's a problem.
Some money went missing.Copy !req
63. And apparently,
some legs are gonna get broken.Copy !req
64. It's just better if I lay low
for a couple of days.Copy !req
65. - If the cops raid the place—
- I never heard of you.Copy !req
66. - And don't forget—
- To flush your stash.Copy !req
67. Oh, you are my little girl.
I love you so much...Copy !req
68. that I left you a little something
in the coffee can.Copy !req
69. - Dad—
- But you have to remember to step
on it before you sell it.Copy !req
70. - Now, what are you
gonna cut it with?
- Um, baking—Copy !req
71. Baking soda.
Not baking powder.Copy !req
72. Because baking powder guys
will have muffins growing
out of their nose.Copy !req
73. You love that joke,
don't you, honey?Copy !req
74. You've loved that joke
since you were two years old.Copy !req
75. - Okay, well—
- Okay, I love you.Copy !req
76. - I love you.
- Have a good trip.Copy !req
77. - Bye.
- Bye. Whew!Copy !req
78. Is the coast clear?Copy !req
79. Oh, Cindy, that nightgown.Copy !req
80. That was close. God!Copy !req
81. I was, uh, home watching
The Exorcist, and it
got me thinking about you.Copy !req
82. If this is about the
time I puked greenCopy !req
83. slime and masturbated
with a crucifix—Copy !req
84. It was my first keg party, Bobby.Copy !req
85. No. No. Uh, it was edited for TV.
All the good stuff was cut out.Copy !req
86. So you thought you would just climb
through my window...Copy !req
87. and we would
play bump-bump?Copy !req
88. I was kind of hoping
to get my balls licked,Copy !req
89. but I wouldn't wanna break
your little underwear rule,
now, would I?Copy !req
90. So maybe just some
on-top-of-the-clothes type stuff?Copy !req
91. Okay. But just for a minute.Copy !req
92. What the—Copy !req
93. Wrong set.Copy !req
94. Bobby! Oh, Bobby!Copy !req
95. I don't wanna wait
for our lives to be overCopy !req
96. - No, Bobby, don't.
- Ow!Copy !req
97. Jeez.Copy !req
98. Yeah, my dad.Copy !req
99. Okay, stud,
you have to go now.Copy !req
100. Oh, um,
about the sex stuff?Copy !req
101. I was only half serious.
I don't wanna rush you or anything.Copy !req
102. Hey, would you settle
for PG-13?Copy !req
103. What's that?Copy !req
104. Oh, jeez!Copy !req
105. — Good night, Bobby.Copy !req
106. Shorty, you are so loud.Copy !req
107. And make sure you take
your behind to class today.Copy !req
108. - I do be going to class.
- Lunch is not a class, Shorty.Copy !req
109. It is when you got
the munchies.Copy !req
110. - See, that's why
you such a dumb-ass.
- Your mother.Copy !req
111. You my brother.
That's your mother too, jackass.Copy !req
112. Oh, yeah.
Well, then, your fathers stupid.Copy !req
113. So? I don't know him.Copy !req
114. Yeah, me neither.Copy !req
115. - Hey, girl, you ready?
- Yeah, in a minute.Copy !req
116. - We're gonna be late.
- Wait. There's Buffy.Copy !req
117. I don't know why
you hang out with her.Copy !req
118. - She is such a ho.
- Why do you say that?Copy !req
119. Cause I've seen her.Copy !req
120. - My friend Sean
had a pool party this summer.
- Sean?Copy !req
121. You know, Puff Daddy?Copy !req
122. Anyway, everybody was drinking
Cristal champagne.Copy !req
123. And then it started to
get wild, and peopleCopy !req
124. were getting freaky in
the pool and stuff.Copy !req
125. I look over and there was
your girl getting buck wild
in the Jacuzzi.Copy !req
126. So?Copy !req
127. With a backup dancer.Copy !req
128. I mean, that's nasty.Copy !req
129. That's-That's lower
than the security guard.Copy !req
130. At least security can get you backstage.
She don't love herself.Copy !req
131. - Bye, Daddy.
- I don't know. II think
Buffy's sweet, Brenda.Copy !req
132. She is as fake
as Press-onnails.Copy !req
133. Hey, baby girl!Copy !req
134. What is up,
my sister?Copy !req
135. - Bye, Mr. Gilmore.
- Bye!Copy !req
136. - Is he gone?
- Yep.Copy !req
137. Do you like what you seeCopy !req
138. It's all about the moneyCopy !req
139. Hey, Cindy!Copy !req
140. - I love this color.
- Let me see that.Copy !req
141. - Oh, you guys should
not use this brand.
- Why not?Copy !req
142. - Because they test
their products on animals.
- So?Copy !req
143. Look, have you seen what they do
to those poor animals?Copy !req
144. Well, I am much more
of a people person.Copy !req
145. I'd like to feed all the hungry,
little children of the world.Copy !req
146. I'd much rather help my fellow man
than some animal.Copy !req
147. - Spare a dollar?
- Get away from me, you bum!Copy !req
148. Buffy! Can't you see
he's just hungry?Copy !req
149. Here you go, sir.
A nice sandwich.Copy !req
150. - See?
- I said a dollar, bitch!Copy !req
151. Ow!Copy !req
152. God.
Look at this place.Copy !req
153. It's a circus.Copy !req
154. Hello. I'm Gail Hailstorm, author of
the book, You're Dead, I'm Rich.Copy !req
155. A small college town
is in shock...Copy !req
156. after the unthinkable
has happened:Copy !req
157. a brutal killing spree
that left one teen dead—Copy !req
158. That's it. Two teens dead...Copy !req
159. and this small town
shaken and stirred.Copy !req
160. - Its times like these—
- Police are combing
the area for clues.Copy !req
161. There are no witnesses
available at this time.Copy !req
162. There are no suspects
in custody.Copy !req
163. Police are asking anyone
to come forward.Copy !req
164. Reporting live for Black TV.
White folks areCopy !req
165. dead and we're getting
the fuck out of here!Copy !req
166. Grab your shit
and lets go, motherfucker!Copy !req
167. Hey, do you think the press is gonna
wanna talk to us?Copy !req
168. Oh, girl, no. The press
only wants to interviewCopy !req
169. the most ignorant
person they can find.Copy !req
170. I'm on TV! Oh, shit!
First Cops, now this!Copy !req
171. Oh, man, I'm gonna be
a star, son!Copy !req
172. - What can you tell us about Drew?
- Well, she had the fat ass.Copy !req
173. - I mean, it was like bang!
- How close were you to the victim?Copy !req
174. Real close.
Until the roofies wore off.Copy !req
175. Then she woke up talking about
pressing charges.Copy !req
176. So I just pulled my tongue
out of her ass and left.Copy !req
177. What would have been
your last words to Drew?Copy !req
178. Run, bitch! Run!Copy !req
179. Hey, yo, dawg.
Does this shirt make me look gay?Copy !req
180. No, man.Copy !req
181. What about now?Copy !req
182. - Nah. Yeah.
- Cool?Copy !req
183. Here. Take one, guys.
elections Tuesday.Copy !req
184. election's Tuesday.Copy !req
185. Ah! Goddamn it!
Son of a bitch!Copy !req
186. What's the matter, honey?Copy !req
187. My report card.Copy !req
188. Well, at least
you got one A.Copy !req
189. Yeah. I did, huh?Copy !req
190. You're so smart.Copy !req
191. - Hey, has anybody seen Bobby?
- Nah.Copy !req
192. You know what?
That kid is always late.Copy !req
193. I don't get it.
He lives so close.Copy !req
194. See you later,
Hairy Mama, Bubba, Jim,Copy !req
195. Big Jim, Little Jim,
Slim Jim, everybody.Copy !req
196. I'll see you later. Ciao, Ding.
All right.Copy !req
197. Damn, girl.
Mm-mm-mm.Copy !req
198. - I'd sure like to get in them pants.
- Really?Copy !req
199. Yeah. What size are these?Copy !req
200. Hey, guys.Copy !req
201. - Hey, Bobby.
- Hey, baby.Copy !req
202. - How you doing?
- Good.Copy !req
203. - You guys see all
the reporters out there?
- Yeah.Copy !req
204. Saying that girl Drew Decker
got killed last night.Copy !req
205. - You know what? I think I knew her.
- Really?Copy !req
206. - She had a brother named Steve?
- Yeah.Copy !req
207. Long hair, pretty little mouth,
perfect ass?Copy !req
208. - That was her.
- Nah, I was talking about Steve.Copy !req
209. Whatever happened
to him?Copy !req
210. Do you guys think its strange
that she got killed...Copy !req
211. exactly one year
after we,Copy !req
212. you know,
killed that guy?Copy !req
213. Hey, Cindy,
that was an accident.Copy !req
214. Was it, Greg?Copy !req
215. Yeah!Copy !req
216. Would you look
at what they're doing?Copy !req
217. When are we gonna do
stuff like that, huh?Copy !req
218. One day.Copy !req
219. - You like that, baby?
- Yeah, that's different.Copy !req
220. - You like that?
- Oh, I love that.Copy !req
221. Oh, I love
when you play with my ass.Copy !req
222. I'm not playing
with your ass.Copy !req
223. - Ray!
- Oh, my bad.Copy !req
224. Come on, man!
Hey, Bobby, put on some music.Copy !req
225. Hold on.Copy !req
226. Here. Put this on.Copy !req
227. - It's raining men
- Yeah, that's the shit
right here!Copy !req
228. - Hallelujah
- Its raining menCopy !req
229. - Baby.
- AmenCopy !req
230. - I'm gonna go out
I'm gonna let myself get
- What? It's a classic.Copy !req
231. - Absolutely soakin wet
- Put on the radio, man.Copy !req
232. Yeah! Whoo!Copy !req
233. - What? It was laundry day.
- What the fuck is—Copy !req
234. Yeah!Copy !req
235. Whoo! Yeah!Copy !req
236. - Hey. Come over here.
- What?Copy !req
237. - Just get a little closer to me.
- Something you're gonna tell me?Copy !req
238. — Bobby, what are you doing?Copy !req
239. I just want you to touch it.
Just touch it. Come on.Copy !req
240. - Uh—
- Just a little bit. Come on.Copy !req
241. Whoo!Copy !req
242. - Ow!
- Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.Copy !req
243. Oh, my God! Shit!Copy !req
244. God, Cindy—
Oh, shit!Copy !req
245. - Oh, my God.
- What was that?Copy !req
246. I think
we hit something.Copy !req
247. Oh, man!Copy !req
248. Bobby, look at my car, man!
My dads gonna freak!Copy !req
249. I didn't see it.
It came out of nowhere.Copy !req
250. - Oh, my God, we hit a boot.
- Where's the foot?Copy !req
251. I don't know.Copy !req
252. Where the—Copy !req
253. Its a body!Copy !req
254. - Oh, shit, is he alive?
- I don't know.Copy !req
255. - Well, check it out.
- I cant.Copy !req
256. - Shit!
- We have to call the police.Copy !req
257. - No way. I ain't going to jail.
- We have to!Copy !req
258. Cindy, do you know what they do
to young boys in prison?Copy !req
259. And all those sex-starved
convicts justCopy !req
260. waiting for a fresh
piece of meat.Copy !req
261. Hey, you're right, Cindy.
Maybe we should call the police.Copy !req
262. Oh, yeah, That's a great idea, Ray.
But what about Brenda, huh?Copy !req
263. You think she wants
to go to jail?Copy !req
264. This is manslaughter, okay?
We're all gonna fry for this.Copy !req
265. - We're looking at 10 to 15 years.
- Shut up, Bobby!Copy !req
266. - Its okay. I'm fine.
- Alcohol all over.
- We're in so much trouble.Copy !req
267. - I'm fine.
- -Don't blame that shit on me, Ray.Copy !req
268. - Look, well get rid of the body.
- Unnecessary.Copy !req
269. - Now you're thinking.
- We'll dump him in the ocean.Copy !req
270. Not the ocean, the pier.Copy !req
271. - Guess I'll be leaving now.
- That's a great idea.Copy !req
272. - What about the alcohol?
- Well get rid of it.Copy !req
273. Come on. It'll be all right.Copy !req
274. - Come on. Hurry up. Lets go.
- Put him in the trunk.Copy !req
275. - I wont have anything to do with this!
- Shut up!Copy !req
276. Cindy, come on.
Well just pretend it never happened.Copy !req
277. You know, like the time we got drunk
and we went down on each other.Copy !req
278. - I'll get his arm.
- I'll grab. I'll grab his other arm.Copy !req
279. I'll grab his ass.Copy !req
280. Well take him down to Williamson Cove
and we'll dump him in there.Copy !req
281. The sharks'll take care
of the evidence.Copy !req
282. Oh, my God,
someone's coming.Copy !req
283. - Oh, shit. Its Shorty.
- Brenda, take care of him.Copy !req
284. Shorty, I know you ain't driving
without no papers.Copy !req
285. I got papers,
blunts, bongs,Copy !req
286. all the ingredients
to make a high niggard pie.Copy !req
287. - Hey, yo, can I help you?
- Yo, what's up, Ray?Copy !req
288. - Yo, son, you all need jumper cables?
- Nah, we're cool.Copy !req
289. Oh, good, cause I left
my roach clip at home.Copy !req
290. - Go home, Shorty.
- Yeah, I-I'll see you later.Copy !req
291. Peace, Ray.Copy !req
292. - Get the trunk closed.
- It won't close.Copy !req
293. I'll do it.Copy !req
294. Hold on. Hold on. Put him down.
He's heavy. Oh, God.Copy !req
295. Okay, look. On three we dump him
over the ledge.Copy !req
296. Wait, wait, wait.
Shouldn't we at least check his wallet?Copy !req
297. - For what?
- Shit, he might have some money.Copy !req
298. We already committed murder.
We might as well rob his ass.Copy !req
299. I'll take the credit cards.Copy !req
300. - I want his jewelry.
- I'm gonna take his drawers.Copy !req
301. Get off! Hey, yo, get off!
His drawers are mine! Yo!Copy !req
302. - I got me a gold ring.
- Credit cards.Copy !req
303. - All right, lets get him in the water.
- I don't think I can, Greg.Copy !req
304. - Its not too late.
- Shut up, okay?Copy !req
305. - Christ, already. I'll do it.
- Just get him in the water.Copy !req
306. Okay. One, two,Copy !req
307. three.Copy !req
308. Right now we make a pact.
We take this to our grave.Copy !req
309. - Agreed?
- Agreed.
- Agreed.Copy !req
310. - Agreed?
- Agreed.Copy !req
311. Say it, Cindy. Say it!Copy !req
312. We take this to our grave. Say it!Copy !req
313. We take this to our grave. Say it.Copy !req
314. Greg, chill. Come on.
You're hurting her.Copy !req
315. We take this
to our grave. Ow.Copy !req
316. And we never
mention this again.Copy !req
317. Mention what?Copy !req
318. - The guy we just killed.
- Well, you just mentioned it, Greg.Copy !req
319. Starting now!Copy !req
320. Stupid bitch, man.Copy !req
321. - God. I hate him.
- Its gonna be okay, baby.
It's gonna be okay.Copy !req
322. I promise. Just touch it again.
Come on. Please.Copy !req
323. - You have to move on, Cindy.
That's all behind us now.
- Exactly.Copy !req
324. - Its a coincidence.
- Gregss right, Cindy.Copy !req
325. I mean, what do you think
we're in, a horror movie?Copy !req
326. Yeah, you guys are right.
If we were,Copy !req
327. they'd probably cast
some dingbat likeCopy !req
328. Jennifer Love Huge
Tits to play me.Copy !req
329. Yeah, or they'd cast
people in their lateCopy !req
330. twenties, early
thirties to play us.Copy !req
331. — Kenny, get the camera ready.
Here. Hold my gum.Copy !req
332. - Sheriff, Sheriff,
can I get a statement?
- No comment.Copy !req
333. Damn. Who do I have to screw around here
to get a stupid story?Copy !req
334. Hey! Hey, no running.Copy !req
335. Loser.Copy !req
336. - Slow it down!
- Blow me!Copy !req
337. All right!Copy !req
338. Hi. Gail Hailstorm.
Field Reporter, Hard Story.Copy !req
339. Special Officer Doofy.Copy !req
340. Oh, hi, Doofy. Doofy, listen.
Is there a problem on campus?Copy !req
341. - No comment. No comment.
- Okay. Okay.Copy !req
342. You know, you look awfully young
to be a police officer.Copy !req
343. - I'm 25 and a half years old.
- Ooh!Copy !req
344. - Yeah, that's this many.
- Ah, so big.Copy !req
345. Yeah. That's big.Copy !req
346. Well, you don't look
a day over 12.Copy !req
347. Except for the big head
and glazed-over look in your eyes.Copy !req
348. - Ooh, was that drool?
- Yeah. I forgot to swallow.Copy !req
349. Don't worry,
cause I never forget.Copy !req
350. - Would you remind me
not to do that again?
- Sorry.Copy !req
351. Due to the recent tragedy, the sheriff
and me, your principal,Copy !req
352. will be questioning all students
throughout the day.Copy !req
353. Wow. Sounds like we've got the makings
of a serial killer on our hands.Copy !req
354. Yeah, I'm not supposed to say.
It's official police business.Copy !req
355. Hey, Doofy, what do you say you and I
go inside my van over there...Copy !req
356. and, uh, get to know
each other a little better?Copy !req
357. - Would you like that?
Yeah, that van right there.
- That van?Copy !req
358. Yeah.Copy !req
359. - Yeah, okay, lets go. Come on.
- Oh!Copy !req
360. A terrible tragedy
and an unbearable loss.Copy !req
361. Its days like today
that we need prayer in school.Copy !req
362. It starts to unravel
the very moral fabric
of our society.Copy !req
363. Here you go, baby.Copy !req
364. Go to your daddy.Copy !req
365. Oh!Copy !req
366. I'll see you after class.Copy !req
367. - Sweet!
- All right!Copy !req
368. Okay, class, who would like to give
their oral presentation first?Copy !req
369. - Oh!
- Anybody?Copy !req
370. - Yes!
- Anybody else?Copy !req
371. Okay, Heather.Copy !req
372. - Okay. Can I start?
- Yeah.Copy !req
373. Okay, my presentation
is on the First Amendment.Copy !req
374. And it began on May 25, 1787 in Philly
with George Washington.Copy !req
375. And it states, and I quote,Copy !req
376. When our Founding
Fathers argued theCopy !req
377. passage of our glorious
Constitution—Copy !req
378. The First Amendment gives us the right
to say what we want—Copy !req
379. Oh, shut the fuck up!Copy !req
380. So, who's next?Copy !req
381. Uh, Cindy Campbell.Copy !req
382. Isn't she the daughter
of, well, you know—Copy !req
383. - Oh, yeah, you know, old Mrs., uh—
- Old Mrs. —Copy !req
384. Yeah. Yeah,
the one and only—Copy !req
385. The one and only.Copy !req
386. - Why, hello, Cindy.
- Hi, Principal Seuiggman.Copy !req
387. - Thanks, Doofy.
- Its Special Officer Doofy today,
Cindy.Copy !req
388. Now, Cindy, Sheriff
has some questionsCopy !req
389. that he would like
to ask you today.Copy !req
390. - What is that... god-awful smell?
- I don't know.Copy !req
391. I got a poopie.Copy !req
392. Did you just say
that you went poopie?Copy !req
393. - Yeah. It was good.
- Mm.Copy !req
394. - Get him out of here.
- Yes.Copy !req
395. - Thank you, Doofy.
- Okay.Copy !req
396. You should now go back
to Special Ed.Copy !req
397. - Okay. Salute.
- Maybe a change of underwear, son.Copy !req
398. - Bye, Doofy.
- Bye, Cindy.Copy !req
399. - How are you, Cindy?
- Fine.Copy !req
400. - How are you, Sheriff?
- Bloated, constipated.Copy !req
401. Got a boil on my ass
the size of a walnut.
You know, the usual.Copy !req
402. Cindy, I want to ask you
some questions about Drew Decker.Copy !req
403. - I didn't really know her.
- Oh, come on. Sure you do.Copy !req
404. No. I mean,
I didn't really know her.Copy !req
405. I've been in this game a long time.
Don't bullshit a bullshitter.Copy !req
406. Tell me about Drew. What
was she like in bed, Cindy?Copy !req
407. Tried to get you.
Its an old police trick.Copy !req
408. Its an old police trick.
You didn't fall for it.
Good for you, kid.Copy !req
409. Hike!Copy !req
410. Pass! Pass!Copy !req
411. — All right, shower up!Copy !req
412. Yes!Copy !req
413. Yo, Dugan, man,
nice play, yo. Word up.Copy !req
414. Johnson, what a block, baby.Copy !req
415. Word up. Woodward. Nice ass.Copy !req
416. Damn.Copy !req
417. Yo, Greg, what's up?
You gonna hit the showers or what?Copy !req
418. No, man. I think I'm gonna work out,
beat the bag a little.Copy !req
419. Suit yourself, kid. All right.
Last one in the showers a rotten egg!Copy !req
420. Come on, yall!
I'm gonna get you all!Copy !req
421. Don't let Uncle Ray catch you!Copy !req
422. Who did this? Huh?
Where are you?Copy !req
423. This isn't funny, all right?Copy !req
424. A small dicks like a disability, man!Copy !req
425. Would you make fun of a guy
in a wheelchair? Huh? Would you?Copy !req
426. Come on out here,
you sick fuck!Copy !req
427. I'll kick the shit
out of you right now! All right?Copy !req
428. Its not the size
of the hammer,Copy !req
429. its the nail
you're throwing it at!Copy !req
430. It's a shame how she died.Copy !req
431. She was such a nice girl.Copy !req
432. Yeah, she used to
baby-sit my brother Doofy.Copy !req
433. - He had the biggest crush on her.
- Ray, you're a dead man.Copy !req
434. Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
435. You wanna get
butt-naked and wrestle?Copy !req
436. - Bring it on, Ray!
- Hold my earrings. Where's my Vaseline?Copy !req
437. - Take it easy. What's the problem?
- I'll show you the problem.Copy !req
438. Oh— That's you?Copy !req
439. They— They turned the hot water off
in the showers, all right?Copy !req
440. Laugh it up, you guys.
Big laugh.Copy !req
441. You know what?
You can all go to hell!Copy !req
442. Greg, you're not the only one
who got one.Copy !req
443. Oh, you mean
Bobby's got a baby dick too?Copy !req
444. No. I was talking
about the note.Copy !req
445. I got one too.Copy !req
446. - Somebody knows.
- That's bullshit, Cindy.Copy !req
447. Someone just trying
to fuck with us.Copy !req
448. We have to call
the police, Greg.Copy !req
449. You call the police,
and I'll kill you myself.Copy !req
450. - You're hurting her, man.
- And you know what?Copy !req
451. That goes for all of you guys.Copy !req
452. That psycho wants
a piece of me, bring it on.Copy !req
453. But I'm not going to jail.
You got that?Copy !req
454. What's everybody
talking about?Copy !req
455. Just forget it, Shorty.
You already know too much.Copy !req
456. — Aren't they beautiful?Copy !req
457. - Buffy!
- Contestant number one!Copy !req
458. Very good.
And contestant number two.Copy !req
459. Very good.
And contestant number three.Copy !req
460. Buffy! That's my girl!Copy !req
461. - That's my girlfriend!
- Yeah, that's my girlfriend too!Copy !req
462. - Hey, kiss my ass!
- Yeah, I'm hitting that too!Copy !req
463. - All right, Buffy!
- Hey, shut the hell up, man!Copy !req
464. - The best pussy I ever had!
- What, you want a piece of me?Copy !req
465. Now the talent portion
of the competition.Copy !req
466. Oh, you guys, I'm gonna
go downstairs forCopy !req
467. a closer seat. See
you after the show.Copy !req
468. Number three, Buffy Gilmore.Copy !req
469. Hey, you know what? I'm
gonna go hit the head.Copy !req
470. You want me to bring
you back anything?Copy !req
471. No, no, no. I'm good, man.
But hurry back. She's gonna perform.Copy !req
472. - Don't worry. I'll be back.
- Good evening, Buffy.Copy !req
473. And what will be
your talent for this evening?Copy !req
474. Acting. I'll be doing
a dramatic reading.Copy !req
475. Yeah, yeah!Copy !req
476. Buffy Gilmore
doing a dramatic reading.Copy !req
477. Hey, do that thing from Baywatch!
She's running down the beach!Copy !req
478. Look out, Greg!
Look behind you!Copy !req
479. - Its him! It's the killer!
- Huh?Copy !req
480. Oh, my God!
Somebody do something!Copy !req
481. Somebody do something!Copy !req
482. He's killing him!Copy !req
483. - He's killing him!
- Must be an original piece.Copy !req
484. He's killing him!Copy !req
485. She's good. She's good.Copy !req
486. - What's wrong with you people?
- That's fantastic.Copy !req
487. You fucking bastards!
Why won't anyone help?Copy !req
488. - Amazing.
- She's the next Pamela Lee.Copy !req
489. Oh, God!
Oh, God! Don't!Copy !req
490. Greg, hold on!Copy !req
491. Give it up for Buffy Gilmore!
Beautiful.Copy !req
492. Absolutely fantastic.Copy !req
493. I think we have a winner,
ladies and gentlemen.
Miss Buffy Gilmore!Copy !req
494. Buffy, wait.
You have to go back onstage.Copy !req
495. - No. I have to get to Greg.
- But you won!Copy !req
496. - They're calling your name.
- There's a killer—Copy !req
497. - I won?
- They're calling your name. Go.Copy !req
498. - Buffy, what happened? What about Greg?
- Oh, fuck Greg. I won.Copy !req
499. - Congratulations!
- Oh, out of my way, loser!Copy !req
500. Miss Buffy Gilmore!Copy !req
501. Here she comesCopy !req
502. Miss Teen She's So FineCopy !req
503. - Such lovely tits
- Give me my crown, bitch.Copy !req
504. And a great behindCopy !req
505. There she is
Doggy style anytimeCopy !req
506. And I'll do her behind
behind and behindCopy !req
507. Oh, there she isCopy !req
508. She loves 69Copy !req
509. There's no sign
of him anywhere.Copy !req
510. - He could've taken the body.
- That's impossible, Cindy.Copy !req
511. - There's no blood. There's nothing.
- Look around.Copy !req
512. I'll bet it's just
Greg playing...Copy !req
513. another one of his dumb jokes.Copy !req
514. He's gonna turn up. I'm sure of it.
He'sCopy !req
515. probably at my house
waiting for us right now,Copy !req
516. - you guys.
- All right, fine.Copy !req
517. But you know what?
I'm gonna look around some more, so—Copy !req
518. - You mind catching
a ride home with Buffy?
- Yeah, no problem.Copy !req
519. - All right, fine.
- Call me later.Copy !req
520. - Hello.
- Hello, Cindy.Copy !req
521. - Who is this?
- Its me, Bobby.Copy !req
522. You know, your boyfriend.Copy !req
523. Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess
I'm a little jumpy lately.Copy !req
524. - Hey, any sign of Greg?
- No.Copy !req
525. - Do you want me to come by?
- No.Copy !req
526. I'm just gonna take a bath,
and then I'm gonna go to bed.Copy !req
527. Okay. I'd really like
to see you, but— I love you.Copy !req
528. Aw. I love you too, baby.Copy !req
529. Bobby, I told you—Copy !req
530. I still know
what you did last Halloween.Copy !req
531. Who is this?Copy !req
532. Ow! Ow!Copy !req
533. - Hello.
- I'm gonna kill you.Copy !req
534. - I'm gonna slice you up.
- Who is this?Copy !req
535. - I'm gonna chop you like liver.
- What do you want?Copy !req
536. I'm in the house.Copy !req
537. Do you know where I am?Copy !req
538. I could be anywhere.
I'm like the wind, baby.Copy !req
539. Yeah. Where am I?Copy !req
540. Um, you're-you're
behind the couch.Copy !req
541. What? How do you know that?Copy !req
542. I can, um, see your feet.Copy !req
543. Ah! Okay, turn around.Copy !req
544. Close your eyes.
No peeking.Copy !req
545. Yeah. No. No. No.Copy !req
546. Hey, no peeking.
No peeking. Turn around.Copy !req
547. Good.Copy !req
548. Okay, now you look.Copy !req
549. Now do you know
where I am? You don't.Copy !req
550. No, Mr. Killer.
I don't know where you are.Copy !req
551. I'll give you a big clue.Copy !req
552. Oh! I gotta stop drinking.Copy !req
553. - Grandma!
- Ow, baby!Copy !req
554. Oh, my hip!Copy !req
555. White woman in trouble off the 744—Copy !req
556. Are you okay? I heard screaming.
What's going on?Copy !req
557. - Bobby, he was here.
- Shh.Copy !req
558. - The killer was here, Bobby.
- Its okay.Copy !req
559. - I can explain that.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
560. A friend gave 'em to me.
Cindy. Cindy.Copy !req
561. Cindy. Cindy!Copy !req
562. Cindy! Cindy! Cindy!Copy !req
563. Its me, Cindy.Copy !req
564. Cindy, you know me. Cindy.Copy !req
565. I know you've had a rough night, Cindy,
so I won't keep you.Copy !req
566. I just want you to look at some photos.
Tell me what you think.Copy !req
567. Mm-mmm.Copy !req
568. - No?
- No.Copy !req
569. - I'm sorry, Sheriff.
- You sure?Copy !req
570. Okay, you're free to go.
Do you have somebody picking you up?Copy !req
571. - Yeah.
- Oh. Just—Copy !req
572. Just check
that one out again.Copy !req
573. - Mm, no.
- No? No? Well, worth a shot.
All right, thanks.Copy !req
574. Guess what I just did with
those hookers we busted.Copy !req
575. No way.Copy !req
576. All the way, man! Yes, yes.
Watch this. Doofy!Copy !req
577. - Yeah?
- Come on. Come on.Copy !req
578. Okay.Copy !req
579. Special Officer Doofy
reporting.Copy !req
580. Hey, Doofy,
smell my fingers.Copy !req
581. - What's that?
- That's when you know
you've become a man, Doofy!Copy !req
582. Hey, Terry,
smell my finger.Copy !req
583. - What the hell is that?
- My ass.Copy !req
584. - Get the hell
out of here, Doofy.
- Doofy.Copy !req
585. - Mom said get home now.
- Tell Mom I'm on official
police business.Copy !req
586. - Cindy, are you okay?
- Hey, hey, hey.
No talking to the witness.Copy !req
587. - Go get in the car, Doofy.
She's coming with us.
- Does Mom know?Copy !req
588. - Yeah, Doofus.
- Mom says when I wear this badge,Copy !req
589. you're supposed to treat me
like a man of the law.Copy !req
590. Mom also said for you
to stop sticking your dick
in the vacuum cleaner.Copy !req
591. Oh!
Oh!Copy !req
592. Okay, three, two—Copy !req
593. - Oh, no. Gosh darn.
- What now?Copy !req
594. It's just that there's all
these numbers with deci—Copy !req
595. What, can't you count?Copy !req
596. - No, I can count,
but there's really—
- Let me make it easy for you.Copy !req
597. This little piggy went to the market.
This little piggy stayed home.Copy !req
598. Now, if this little piggy doesn't roll
the goddamn camera—Copy !req
599. - I'm gonna put my foot
up his fuckin' ass—
- We're live, Gail.Copy !req
600. Gail Hailstorm standing out front
of the police station...Copy !req
601. where I'm going to try and get a glimpse
of Cindy Campbell,Copy !req
602. the young girl who was attacked
earlier this evening.Copy !req
603. - You're on my foot, fat shit!
- Sorry, G—Copy !req
604. - What did I say?
- Don't ever step
on Gail's shoes.Copy !req
605. - Why not?
- Because Gail wears Prada shoes.Copy !req
606. - You idiot.
- I'm a bad man.Copy !req
607. Cindy! Cindy!Copy !req
608. - Cindy, can we get a statement?
- Buffy Gilmore, Miss Teen.Copy !req
609. - She's not talking.
- Is it true the police
have someone in custody?Copy !req
610. - Come on, Cindy.
- Cindy, your ass looks fat!Copy !req
611. Bitch!Copy !req
612. - Good shot.
- Come on.Copy !req
613. - All right, who copped a feel?
- Gail, it was me.Copy !req
614. - Oh, my God.
- It was an accident, Gail.Copy !req
615. I only touched it,
the top of the breast.Copy !req
616. - It was so tender and juicy.
- Shut up!Copy !req
617. - Yo.
- Hello, Shorty. What are you doing?Copy !req
618. Nothin'. Sittin' here watchin' the game.
Smokin' some bud.Copy !req
619. Are you all alone?Copy !req
620. - Was sup?
- Was sup?Copy !req
621. What the—
Who's that?Copy !req
622. Yo, pick up the phone.Copy !req
623. - Was sup?
- Was sup?Copy !req
624. Yo, Dookie,
pick up the phone!Copy !req
625. - Yo.
- Was sup?Copy !req
626. - What you doin', son?
- Nothin'... Just chillin'... killin'...Copy !req
627. True. True.Copy !req
628. So you think
Bobby did it?Copy !req
629. I don't know.
But he was there, Buffy.Copy !req
630. I knew there had to be something.
He just too perfect.Copy !req
631. Handsome, smart,
good in bed.Copy !req
632. - What did you say?
- Uh—Copy !req
633. Hey, Cindy.
Got your ice pack for your hand.Copy !req
634. - Ow!
- Sorry.Copy !req
635. I'll get you one for your head.Copy !req
636. No, no, that's okay, Doofy.Copy !req
637. Hey, we are gonna get that guy
you dumped in the water. Yeah.Copy !req
638. I'll be next door
if you need me.Copy !req
639. Night, Cindy.Copy !req
640. Buffy, you told him?Copy !req
641. The moron overheard a conversation
Greg and I were having.Copy !req
642. - Yeah, but what
if he says something?
- Who's gonna believe...Copy !req
643. a retarded retard
like him anyway?Copy !req
644. Cindy, telephone.Copy !req
645. Thank you.Copy !req
646. - Hello.
- Hello, Cindy.Copy !req
647. - Guess what.
- No!Copy !req
648. - You got the wrong guy.
- No!Copy !req
649. - Doofy!
- Its not Bobby.Copy !req
650. Who is this?Copy !req
651. - Doofy! Doofy!
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
652. Hello?Copy !req
653. I said don't disturb me
while I'm cleaning my room!Copy !req
654. I heard Bobby got out
this morning.Copy !req
655. I haven't seen him around.
Is he pissed?Copy !req
656. You mean since
you branded him the Candy man?
No. His heart is broken.Copy !req
657. Yo, son. Its like
I seen this all before.Copy !req
658. They had a killer at
your old high school, Shorty?Copy !req
659. No, it was in this movie Scream.Copy !req
660. Same dialogue and everything.
This is ill.Copy !req
661. - How did it end?
- I don't know.Copy !req
662. Some niggas started
shooting up in theCopy !req
663. movie theater, so
we just broke out.Copy !req
664. - No doubt.
- Okay, I say we all
just stick together.Copy !req
665. Tonight everyone
meet at my house.Copy !req
666. And bring some friends.
But don't tell everyone.Copy !req
667. Try to keep it quiet.Copy !req
668. Okay.Copy !req
669. Yo! Party at Cindy's house!
Drunk white women for everybody!Copy !req
670. Ray, if you see Bobby,
tell him I love him.Copy !req
671. Okay. If I see Bobby,
I'll tell him I love him.Copy !req
672. - Jesus!
- Its okay. It's all right.
It's just me, baby.Copy !req
673. - What, you don't still
think It's me, do you?
- No.Copy !req
674. It's just that somebody
did try to kill me.Copy !req
675. And the police said
I scared him away.Copy !req
676. I know. He called
me last night.Copy !req
677. You see, it couldn't have been me.
I was in jail last night. Remember?Copy !req
678. You're the best.Copy !req
679. I'm sorry.
Please understand.Copy !req
680. Understand what? That
my girlfriend wouldCopy !req
681. rather call me a
killer than touch me?Copy !req
682. - That's not true, Bobby.
- Then what is it?Copy !req
683. What is it?
She's gone and she's not coming back.Copy !req
684. Its been over a year, Cindy.Copy !req
685. But Ginger was such an important
part of the Spice Girls.Copy !req
686. - Oh, you gotta move on, baby.
- Oh!Copy !req
687. I'm sorry if my complicated life...Copy !req
688. is an inconvenience
to your perfect existence.Copy !req
689. Cindy. Cindy.Copy !req
690. Okay, everybody, listen up.Copy !req
691. Let me just say, uh,Copy !req
692. the killing of these teenagers
has been tragic, but, uh—Copy !req
693. Hey, you know, shit happens.Copy !req
694. Sheriff! Sheriff!Copy !req
695. - Yes, Miss Thunderstorm.
- Have they found
Cindy Campbell's father?Copy !req
696. - No.
- Isn't he a suspect?Copy !req
697. That is classified information.
Where are you getting that?Copy !req
698. I'm sorry, but my sources
are strictly confidential, Sheriff.Copy !req
699. Hey, Gail.Copy !req
700. Gail swallows.Copy !req
701. Watch this.Copy !req
702. Hello. Who is this?Copy !req
703. What?Copy !req
704. You wanna kill me?Copy !req
705. Oh, God. Hold on.Copy !req
706. Cindy, its for you.Copy !req
707. All right,
knock it off, Buffy.Copy !req
708. Now, as you all have heard,
there is a killer in town...Copy !req
709. and the police have asked us to give you
the following safety tips.Copy !req
710. Stay in well-lit areas.Copy !req
711. Do not travel alone
whenever possible.Copy !req
712. Always wipe front to back.Copy !req
713. And remember, never, ever
believe someone...Copy !req
714. when they tell you
that shaving your pubic hair...Copy !req
715. will rid you
of crab infestation.Copy !req
716. Now, I understand
this is a difficult time
for you young ladies.Copy !req
717. So if anyone needs
to come to my office to talk,Copy !req
718. I am here for you.Copy !req
719. - What a crock of shit.
- It's not, Buffy!Copy !req
720. He's real!Copy !req
721. Miss Mann?Copy !req
722. Come in, dear. Have a seat.
Take off your bra if you'd like.Copy !req
723. No, thanks.Copy !req
724. What can I do for you,
Cindy?Copy !req
725. I need to talk.
See, I have this problem...Copy !req
726. and I don't know
who to tell.Copy !req
727. - Not feeling so fresh?
- Huh?Copy !req
728. Feminine odor and itching
got you down?Copy !req
729. Uh, no. No, not that.Copy !req
730. Then what is it?Copy !req
731. I have a terrible secret.Copy !req
732. Well, Cindy, we all have
our little secrets.Copy !req
733. Sometimes we do things
we're not so proud of.Copy !req
734. Some for money,Copy !req
735. others to gain the athletic edge
on the competition.Copy !req
736. Sometimes those secrets
come back to haunt us.Copy !req
737. - Aah!
- Do you know what I mean?Copy !req
738. Yes, I do, um, Miss Mann.
Thanks for ball—Copy !req
739. I mean, all your help.
I have to go to class.Copy !req
740. Anytime, dear.Copy !req
741. - Buffy, are you coming?
- I'll catch up with you guys in a sec.Copy !req
742. Redrum.Copy !req
743. Hello?Copy !req
744. Somebody there?Copy !req
745. Hello!Copy !req
746. Very funny.Copy !req
747. Who put you up
to this, Cindy?Copy !req
748. Lose the cape.
Its way too '90s horror.Copy !req
749. Oh, so what movie is this from,
Die, Cheerleader, Die?Copy !req
750. Wanna play psycho killer?
Can I be the helpless cheerleader?Copy !req
751. Oh, so this is where
I'm supposed to beg for my life?Copy !req
752. Please, Mr. Killer,
don't kill me.Copy !req
753. So is this where
I'm supposed to bleed?Copy !req
754. Oh, look,
I'm bleeding!Copy !req
755. Oh, yeah,
I'm supposed to run, right?Copy !req
756. Okay. I'm running!
I'm running! Help!Copy !req
757. Help! Now I'm gonna fall
and break my leg, leaving me helpless.Copy !req
758. Aah!Copy !req
759. There you go, Mr. Scary Killer.
I'm panicking now.Copy !req
760. Oh, God!
Somebody please help me!Copy !req
761. Oh, God, no!Copy !req
762. No!Copy !req
763. Oh, now what?Copy !req
764. I guess this is the big climax.
Hope you don't mind if I fake it. Aah!Copy !req
765. Oh, look at me.
I'm all dead.Copy !req
766. I'm a gross, scary severed head.
Come on. Please.Copy !req
767. Do you know who I am? I'm Miss Teen.
You're really giving me a headache.Copy !req
768. And you got blood all
over my Gucci sweater.Copy !req
769. I hope you're gonna
pay for that.Copy !req
770. Ah! I will not be ignored
by the likes—Copy !req
771. - I'm gonna jump!
- Phil, get back in there.Copy !req
772. - No!
- What are you doing up there?Copy !req
773. - Be reasonable.
- I cant take this fucking job...Copy !req
774. or those greasy
shit head teenagers anymore!Copy !req
775. - I'm going to end it all!
- Wait! Hold on!
We're getting help for you!Copy !req
776. Now we know Bobby's not the killer.
So who is?Copy !req
777. I don't know.Copy !req
778. Well if the killer was
in your house lastCopy !req
779. night, why didn't he
just kill you then?Copy !req
780. Because he's just
messing with us.Copy !req
781. don't you see?
He's got us right where he wants us.Copy !req
782. We cant go to the police.
He's just outCopy !req
783. there watching us
and waiting for us.Copy !req
784. What are you
waiting for, huh?Copy !req
785. What are you waiting for?Copy !req
786. What are you
waiting for?Copy !req
787. What am I waiting for?Copy !req
788. What am I waiting for?
What are you waiting for?Copy !req
789. Fuck you!Copy !req
790. Oh, my God.Copy !req
791. Ray, I still don't think
this party is a good idea.Copy !req
792. You know I'm not gonna
let nothin' happen to you.Copy !req
793. I just don't feel right.Copy !req
794. - Why cant we just
do something else?
- How about we go to the movies?Copy !req
795. Huh? You like that?
See a little movie, huh?Copy !req
796. - Hey! This is my song!
- Hey!Copy !req
797. - You know they gave me
a shout-out on the album, right?
- What?Copy !req
798. Everywhere I go
I see the same hosCopy !req
799. Ooh, Brenda.Copy !req
800. Did I tell you how sexy you look
in my jersey?Copy !req
801. - I do, Ray?
- Yes.Copy !req
802. I like it. Hey, get up.
Go over there. Let me see it.Copy !req
803. Ooh! Yes, I like that.Copy !req
804. - You like that? You like that?
- Yeah. Hey!Copy !req
805. Hey, put this on with it.Copy !req
806. - Ray, you are so freaky.
- That's right. You know
I'm freaky, girl.Copy !req
807. Go on. Pull it.
Pull it up.Copy !req
808. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ahh!Copy !req
809. Yeah. Here. Put this on with it.Copy !req
810. Go on.Copy !req
811. - Are you sure?
- Go on, girl. Go on. Pull it on.Copy !req
812. - Okay.
- Go on.Copy !req
813. - I like that look.
- Ooh! I'm bad.Copy !req
814. Here. Put this on with it.Copy !req
815. Go on, girl. Put it on.Copy !req
816. Yeah. Put that shit on there.
Come on. Just shove it on.Copy !req
817. Do it. Yeah.
Ooh, so fucking sexy.Copy !req
818. Come here, girl.
Bring your little sexy ass
over here. Come on!Copy !req
819. Full speed. Charge!Copy !req
820. Yes! Yes!
Come on! Turn around!Copy !req
821. Turn around! Come on!Copy !req
822. Yes, Brendan!
Take it, Brendan! Take it, Brendan!Copy !req
823. - Who?
- Uh— Uh, Brenda.Copy !req
824. Put the helmet on.
No, lets role-play.
Come on. You get me.Copy !req
825. - Come on! Come on!
- Huh?Copy !req
826. I'm here at Lovers Lookout.Copy !req
827. Its dark,
It's in the middle of nowhere,Copy !req
828. and its where hormone-driven teens
love to come and fool around.Copy !req
829. So very likely we're about
to see someone get killed.Copy !req
830. Okay, sure enough,
there's a girl inCopy !req
831. that car, blouse
unbuttoned, all alone.Copy !req
832. Lets see if she'll have
a word with us.Copy !req
833. Hi. Gail Hailstorm,
author of the new book
You're Next.Copy !req
834. - Oh, yeah.
- Can you tell us your name?Copy !req
835. Well, my names Heather.Copy !req
836. Can you tell us what you are
doing out here all alone?Copy !req
837. Well, yeah, sure.
My boyfriend and I were
just, like, making out...Copy !req
838. and then we heard a noise out there,
so he went to go check it,Copy !req
839. but— well, that was,
like, ten minutes ago.Copy !req
840. Yeah, yeah. Has it
crossed your little mindCopy !req
841. that your boyfriend was
probably murdered...Copy !req
842. and you're about
to be slaughtered next?Copy !req
843. - Really? No way!
- Way.Copy !req
844. - Heather, good luck.
- Okay, thanks, Gail. You're the best.Copy !req
845. Just as I thought. The murder
is happening as we speak.Copy !req
846. I'm going to try and break into
the bloodshed. Are you getting this?Copy !req
847. Excuse me. Heather, can you tell us
what you're feeling, honey?Copy !req
848. Lots of pain. Gail, please help me.
Gail, please!Copy !req
849. I'd like to help you
out, kid, but it sweeps.Copy !req
850. Sir, sir, can I get
a word with you?Copy !req
851. You got a lot of nerve coming here.
I'm just trying to do my job.Copy !req
852. - Get the camera off me now!
- You're dead, bitch!Copy !req
853. No, Kenny, keep rolling!Copy !req
854. I'm gonna slice your head off
and shove it up his ass.Copy !req
855. Get that camera off me!Copy !req
856. Oh, my God, Kenny!
Kenny, move your fat ass!Copy !req
857. Kenny! Oh, my God,
he's right behind you!Copy !req
858. This man is chasin' Miss Gail.Copy !req
859. I'm so scared right now.Copy !req
860. I just want to say...Copy !req
861. to the family of my cameraman, Kenny,Copy !req
862. I am so sorry.Copy !req
863. This was my interview,Copy !req
864. my story.Copy !req
865. Its all my fault.Copy !req
866. - You want some popcorn?
- Uh-uh. I brought me
a little snack of my own.Copy !req
867. - You want some chicken?
- Nah.Copy !req
868. Mm-hmm. For all yall
talkers up in here,Copy !req
869. it's time to keep
it down right now.Copy !req
870. Shh.Copy !req
871. Shh, back at you. Shh!Copy !req
872. Why they actin' already?
It ain't nothin' but the previews.Copy !req
873. The largest ship
the world had ever known.Copy !req
874. It's 400 passengers and crew on
a maiden voyage to a brave new world.Copy !req
875. A journey that would change
their lives forever.Copy !req
876. Whoo!Copy !req
877. I'm the king of the world!
Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
878. Get your ass
back down there, boy!Copy !req
879. - I'm gonna go to
the bathroom real quick.
- The movie about to come on.Copy !req
880. I gotta go to the bathroom.
Here. Take your hot sauce.Copy !req
881. Hurry up, man.
Don't be long.Copy !req
882. Back up!
Let him through!Copy !req
883. You can move back some.
You don't own the theater.Copy !req
884. —And they're off!Copy !req
885. It's number three in the lead.
Number two close behind.Copy !req
886. And number three
is the winner!Copy !req
887. Number two has placed,
and number four to show.Copy !req
888. Next weeks Triple Crown
starts at 2:30.Copy !req
889. — Be here early.Copy !req
890. Hey, who was that?Copy !req
891. Go ahead.
Do it again. Do it again.Copy !req
892. Anon.Copy !req
893. Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.Copy !req
894. Mm-mmm!
Don't go in there!Copy !req
895. Lord, I'm gonna have a heart attack!Copy !req
896. Man, this is
some scary shit!Copy !req
897. Oh, I am scared!Copy !req
898. - Excuse me.
- I think I paid my money like
everybody else up in here.Copy !req
899. - ... out of her favor—
- That ain't no man.Copy !req
900. - You can see her real hair right there!
- Do you mind?Copy !req
901. I know you better
get outta my face!Copy !req
902. Outta my face!
Outta my face!Copy !req
903. This is all me up in here.
You handle that.Copy !req
904. - Will you shut the fuck up!
- Yeah!Copy !req
905. Mmm, mmm.
This movie is good.Copy !req
906. Hey, baby.
You came back just in time.Copy !req
907. She's about to get it on
with Shakespeare.Copy !req
908. - She dressing like a man—
- Shut up.Copy !req
909. Yeah, I got you.
I got you on camera.Copy !req
910. You on Candid Camera now.Copy !req
911. You ain't know that.Copy !req
912. Hello. Hey, girl.
Uh-uh. I'm in the movie.Copy !req
913. Shakespeare In Love.
Uh-uh. Ooh! You lying.Copy !req
914. For Christ's sake,
will you just shut your trap!Copy !req
915. - Shut up!
- Hold on.Copy !req
916. I don't know why you all
is actin' I like this.Copy !req
917. My girlfriend already seen the movie.
She saidCopy !req
918. they don't even stay
together in the end.Copy !req
919. Give me that.Copy !req
920. Right on.Copy !req
921. Will you sit down.Copy !req
922. Shut up.Copy !req
923. Your ass is grass.Copy !req
924. - This is for Thelma!
- And Louise!Copy !req
925. This is for talking
through The Fugitive!Copy !req
926. - You ruined Schindlers List.
- Jackie Chan movies.Copy !req
927. - Boogie Nights!
- And Big Mommas House!Copy !req
928. Aaaaaahhhhh!Copy !req
929. And I can not marry the daughter
of Sir Robert De Lesseps.Copy !req
930. Um, you guys,
there's a few too many people.Copy !req
931. Oh, honey, please don't throw—
Hey, you guys, stop.Copy !req
932. Hey! Hey, please!
That's my dad!Copy !req
933. - No, don't touch— Ah, no!
- Do you have more beer?Copy !req
934. - Do you have more beer?
- Um, yeah. Uh, check in the garage.Copy !req
935. No, no, no, no!
Don't!Copy !req
936. Kitty, you scared me.Copy !req
937. Horsey.
Oh, you scared me too.Copy !req
938. Hello?
Who's there?Copy !req
939. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Please, don't!Copy !req
940. Please! I'm just a day player!Copy !req
941. Oh, my God!Copy !req
942. Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!Copy !req
943. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!Copy !req
944. Yeah!Copy !req
945. Oh, Bobby. Bobby.
I was worried about you.Copy !req
946. I thought the killer got to you
before I could.Copy !req
947. Could what?Copy !req
948. I wanna go upstairs.
There's something I wanna show you.Copy !req
949. - Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.Copy !req
950. - Hey, party on!
- Yeah!Copy !req
951. - So—
- So.Copy !req
952. Here we are... again.Copy !req
953. Yeah.Copy !req
954. And, you know,
if you're not ready,Copy !req
955. I'll understand.Copy !req
956. Bobby.Copy !req
957. I am ready.Copy !req
958. - You are?
- Yeah.Copy !req
959. I cant keep fighting
these urges.Copy !req
960. I have to just
give in to them...Copy !req
961. and let them flow.Copy !req
962. Right.Copy !req
963. - Bobby?
- Huh?Copy !req
964. I have been so selfish.Copy !req
965. This is like a scene
from a movie or something.Copy !req
966. Only it isn't a movie, Bobby.Copy !req
967. This is real life.Copy !req
968. Its all a movie, baby.Copy !req
969. There's the sound guy. There's
the script supervisor.Copy !req
970. How you are doin'... baby?Copy !req
971. - Bobby?
- What?Copy !req
972. What I mean
is that in real life...Copy !req
973. you have to enjoy
each moment.Copy !req
974. Mmm! Ow!Copy !req
975. Bobby.Copy !req
976. Bobby!Copy !req
977. Can I tell you a secret?Copy !req
978. Sure, man.Copy !req
979. I see dead people.Copy !req
980. Man, this shit is awesome!Copy !req
981. Yo, son, we gotta roll
some more of that shit!Copy !req
982. Ah, shit!Copy !req
983. We don't have
any more papers, man.Copy !req
984. We don't have
any more papers.Copy !req
985. Oh, man!
What can we use to make a bong?Copy !req
986. Toke! Toke! Toke!
Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!Copy !req
987. - Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!
Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!
- Yeah!Copy !req
988. Oh, shit, son!Copy !req
989. Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!
Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!Copy !req
990. This some good shit!Copy !req
991. - Bobby! I've never done this before.
- What?Copy !req
992. Its okay. It's okay.Copy !req
993. It's just like—
It's like sucking on a Tootsie Roll Pop.Copy !req
994. - A Tootsie Pop?
- Yeah, a cherry-flavor one.Copy !req
995. - Oh.
- With the fudge in the middle?Copy !req
996. Okay.Copy !req
997. Show me now
Show me howCopy !req
998. - How it feels when we're together
- Just like that.Copy !req
999. - I'm afraid
if we wait
- Just like that, baby.Copy !req
1000. - Well be waiting till forever
- Ah!Copy !req
1001. Oh! Jesus!Copy !req
1002. I never could wait
to get to the chewy middle.Copy !req
1003. - You know what? Let me.
- Oh. Okay.Copy !req
1004. Goddamn!Copy !req
1005. I'm flyin' solo
but don't know if I can stopCopy !req
1006. Don't ask me why
Don't make me lieCopy !req
1007. Just kick back
just sit backCopy !req
1008. Enjoy the rideCopy !req
1009. Cause I'm a spacemanCopy !req
1010. Guess its been a while.Copy !req
1011. So stay with meCopy !req
1012. Oh! Oops!Copy !req
1013. Its very, uh, '70s of you.Copy !req
1014. Oh, yeah.
Oh, Bobby!Copy !req
1015. Come here, Bobby!
I want it now!Copy !req
1016. Oh, man,
am I fuckin' stoned!Copy !req
1017. Yeah, me too, son.Copy !req
1018. Hey, you guys hear that?Copy !req
1019. Oh!Copy !req
1020. Shh!Copy !req
1021. Hello?Copy !req
1022. - Hello.
What's your favorite scary movie?
- Hello?Copy !req
1023. Let me talk to her. Shh!Copy !req
1024. I'm gonna gut you like a pig!Copy !req
1025. Oh, yeah! Oh!Copy !req
1026. Yeah! What's my name, Bobby?Copy !req
1027. What? Ah!Copy !req
1028. - What's my name, bitch?
- Ow! God! It's Cindy!Copy !req
1029. Whose is it, Bobby?
Whose is it, Bobby?Copy !req
1030. Its yours.Copy !req
1031. Ahhhhhh!Copy !req
1032. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1033. Oh, shit!Copy !req
1034. Don't even contest
Cause I'll make you undressCopy !req
1035. Like porn dancers
waitin' at the front door for an answerCopy !req
1036. Hey, yo, I'm sick of artificial MCs
like silicone tittiesCopy !req
1037. Hey, yo, check it, yo.
Fuck a cheap ballCopy !req
1038. I wanna smoke Cheech and ChongCopy !req
1039. And if I wanna fuck long,
I let my ding-a-long, hit the bongCopy !req
1040. And then the song,
Always pass the dutchie to the leftCopy !req
1041. Because the right way
is wrongCopy !req
1042. - Whoo-hoo!
- I got one. I got one.
Here it goes. Ready?Copy !req
1043. I'm gonna slash and gash
Cut another hole in your assCopy !req
1044. I spill blood on the walls
then play tennis with your ballsCopy !req
1045. If the phone rings
don't answer the callCopy !req
1046. Gonna slit your throat
fuck you like a goatCopy !req
1047. Peel your foreskin off
and make a winter coat
Peace!Copy !req
1048. Yo!Copy !req
1049. That was the illest rhyme
I ever seen, son!Copy !req
1050. Bobby... where were you tonight?Copy !req
1051. - What?
- I was just curious.Copy !req
1052. What took you so long
to get here?Copy !req
1053. Why you so curious?Copy !req
1054. I don't know.Copy !req
1055. I thought it would fit
the 90s horror cliché...Copy !req
1056. if you turned out
to be the killer.Copy !req
1057. Oh, so, what? You think
I killed Buffy and Greg?Copy !req
1058. Buffy and Greg are dead?Copy !req
1059. - I thought you knew that.
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
1060. Bobby, turn around!
Its the killer!Copy !req
1061. Cindy!Copy !req
1062. - Oh, my God! Bobby! Bobby!
- Cindy. Help me.Copy !req
1063. - Bobby, its okay.
- Gimme the gun. Gimme-Copy !req
1064. Its gonna be okay, Bobby.Copy !req
1065. Yo, wait for me!
There's a killer in the house!Copy !req
1066. There's ass, blood
and guts everywhere!Copy !req
1067. Someone done gone crazy,
son!Copy !req
1068. We all go a little crazy sometimes.
Bobby, no!Copy !req
1069. Oh, shit, son!Copy !req
1070. Oh, my God!Copy !req
1071. Cindy, he shot me in the lungs.Copy !req
1072. You wanna hit this shit?Copy !req
1073. Ketchup.Copy !req
1074. Just like my mom puts on
her spaghetti, baby.Copy !req
1075. Oh, my God! Ray, you've gotta help me!
Bobby's gone crazy!Copy !req
1076. Surprise!Copy !req
1077. Surprise, Cindy!Copy !req
1078. Why are you doing this, Bobby?Copy !req
1079. Why? Why? You hear that, Ray?Copy !req
1080. I think she wants
a motive.Copy !req
1081. - Did Scream have a plot?
- No.Copy !req
1082. Did I Know What You Did Last Summer
make any sense?Copy !req
1083. Don't think so!Copy !req
1084. What about the sequel?
What was with that fat,
white Jamaican kid?Copy !req
1085. - I wanna kill that motherfucker.
- It was bad casting, Bobby.Copy !req
1086. How about this for a motive?
Lack of sex!Copy !req
1087. It can cause serious
deviant behavior.Copy !req
1088. - I thought you loved me.
- Oh, I did, baby.Copy !req
1089. I did. But abstinence can make you
discover new things about yourself.Copy !req
1090. That's right, Cindy. I'm gay.Copy !req
1091. And in case you haven't noticed,
so is Ray.Copy !req
1092. What? I ain't gay.Copy !req
1093. - What are you talking about?
- You took me to that club.Copy !req
1094. So, they play good music.Copy !req
1095. - What about our trip
to San Francisco, then?
- I wanted to go shopping.Copy !req
1096. - But you made love to me.
- No. First of all, you sucked my—Copy !req
1097. Whatever, Ray!
I don't want to talk about this now.Copy !req
1098. The point is, I'm a new
man, and I'm ready toCopy !req
1099. leave all this behind
and start a new life.Copy !req
1100. - So you killed all your friends?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
1101. Just you.Copy !req
1102. And maybe Shorty,
but that wasn't planned or anything.Copy !req
1103. But here's the genius part.Copy !req
1104. We're copycatting a serial killer
that already exists.Copy !req
1105. - Its the perfect crime, Cindy.
- But wait! There's more!Copy !req
1106. Hang on to your seat, baby,
cause this one's a screamer!Copy !req
1107. - I'll be back.
- Uh-oh.Copy !req
1108. Move your big ass.
Come on.Copy !req
1109. Dad!Copy !req
1110. What are you gonna do,
frame him?Copy !req
1111. Nah. We're just havin' a little bit
of fun with old daddio.Copy !req
1112. The police are gonna find
you and daddy both dead,Copy !req
1113. and me and Ray are the only survivors
of maniacs revenge.Copy !req
1114. - You ready? I'm ready.
- You ready? I'm ready to do this shit.Copy !req
1115. - Come on. Come on. All right.
- All right.Copy !req
1116. - Come on!
- Give it to me. No!Copy !req
1117. Wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
1118. - Ready? All right. Lets do this.
- Wait, wait. Ready.Copy !req
1119. - Come on. Come on.
- Ready.Copy !req
1120. Give it to me!Copy !req
1121. No! Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!Copy !req
1122. - Remember what we talked about?
To the side.
- I know.Copy !req
1123. - How many times
we gonna go over this?
- Okay.Copy !req
1124. Stop. Just—
All right. Trust me, okay?Copy !req
1125. - All right. I'm ready.
- Trust me. I got this shit. Ready?Copy !req
1126. - Wait, wait, wait!
- I'm about to cut your throat, boy!Copy !req
1127. Stop acting like a little girl.
Come on. Come on!Copy !req
1128. - You're right, you're right, you're right.
- Yeah, come on!Copy !req
1129. Come on. You ready?Copy !req
1130. No! You guys are psychos!Copy !req
1131. You've seen
one too many TV shows!Copy !req
1132. No! Watching television shows
doesn't create psycho killers!Copy !req
1133. Cancelin' TV shows does!Copy !req
1134. The Wayans Brothers
was a good show, man!Copy !req
1135. It was a good-ass show,
and we didn't even get a final episode!Copy !req
1136. Take it easy!
I'm feelin' a little woozy here!Copy !req
1137. Its my turn.
Give me the knife.Copy !req
1138. Fuck outta here.
Ain't nobody stabbin' me.Copy !req
1139. Surprise, Cindy!Copy !req
1140. All right, all right.
Hold on a second.Copy !req
1141. Just give me a moment.
Ah. One—Copy !req
1142. Oh, yeah. That's it.Copy !req
1143. Ah. Okay.Copy !req
1144. Dad!Copy !req
1145. Are you okay?Copy !req
1146. I thought I told you
not to have a party unless I was here.Copy !req
1147. But, Dad, you were here.
You were in the closet.Copy !req
1148. Oh, yeah, that's right. Did you get some
girlfriends numbers for me?Copy !req
1149. - Dad, they're dead.
- Ah, you know, I cant get a break.Copy !req
1150. — What's that? Is that the cops?Copy !req
1151. Okay, okay, listen, honey.
Help me up now.Copy !req
1152. Uh— Uh— If the cops come, tell em
I'm a plumber, okay?Copy !req
1153. You had a leaky faucet,
and you called, andCopy !req
1154. they sent me over. We
don't know each other.Copy !req
1155. No! No!Copy !req
1156. Dad, Dad, put your arms down.Copy !req
1157. - What the hells goin' on here?
- Sheriff, it's a bloodbath in there.Copy !req
1158. - He was right here! I swear it!
- Who was?Copy !req
1159. The killer!
The guy that murdered all my friends!Copy !req
1160. And the sick bastard planted drugs
all in the house there.Copy !req
1161. - All over the place.
- Dad. Stop it.Copy !req
1162. All right, Cindy.
I'm gonna have to take you
down to the station.Copy !req
1163. I'm cool, though, right?Copy !req
1164. - I'm okay?
- Lets— Lets go, Cindy.Copy !req
1165. Cindy. Call me.Copy !req
1166. Daddy'll get you out, honey.Copy !req
1167. Okay. Lets go over this again.Copy !req
1168. - You say it was an accident.
- Yes.Copy !req
1169. - He was on the road.
- And you think he came back
to get revenge?Copy !req
1170. It has to be him, Sheriff.Copy !req
1171. Here, Sheriff.
They wanted me to give this to you.Copy !req
1172. - That'll be all, Doofy.
- Okay.Copy !req
1173. - I'm gonna go, then. All right.
- All right.Copy !req
1174. Bye, Cindy.Copy !req
1175. I'm sorry, Cindy.
It wasn't the man you guys killed.Copy !req
1176. His name was David Keegan.
Some fishermenCopy !req
1177. found his body a
few weeks later.Copy !req
1178. - He's buried in Lakewood Cemetery.
- That's impossible.Copy !req
1179. - Then I don't know who it could be.
- He's gotta be someone else...Copy !req
1180. who was connected
with all the victims,Copy !req
1181. someone who knew
about the accident.Copy !req
1182. Someone who could move around
without being noticed.Copy !req
1183. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1184. She used to baby-sit my brother Doofy.
He had the biggest crush on her.Copy !req
1185. Its me, Cindy.Copy !req
1186. Night, Cindy.Copy !req
1187. - Doofy!
- Shit head?Copy !req
1188. - Have you seen Doofy?
- No.Copy !req
1189. - Have you seen Doofy?
Has anybody seen Doofy?
- No, Sheriff.Copy !req
1190. - No.
- Yeah.
Just went out the back, Sheriff.Copy !req
1191. Doofy!Copy !req
1192. He walks alone
under the big city lightsCopy !req
1193. He always knows
just when the time is rightCopy !req
1194. He never shows what he's thinking
He keeps it insideCopy !req
1195. Because he's
too cool for schoolCopy !req
1196. He comes alive
when the sun goes downCopy !req
1197. He gets it right
You know he's always downCopy !req
1198. He's got one eye open
and his ear to the groundCopy !req
1199. And he's too cool for schoolCopy !req
1200. He's an operator
He's a real playerCopy !req
1201. And if you mess with him
you know you'll never winCopy !req
1202. No-o-o-o-o!Copy !req
1203. Shit, son. Yo, what the deal?Copy !req
1204. Yo, if you all watchin'
this tape right now,Copy !req
1205. that means
I didn't make it.Copy !req
1206. Either I'm a prisoner,
or worse, dead.Copy !req
1207. But either way it goes,
I'm gonna tell youCopy !req
1208. all the rules to survive
this situation.Copy !req
1209. You gotta be quick.Copy !req
1210. Don't fall down.Copy !req
1211. Whatever you do, never look back.Copy !req
1212. You all wish me luck.Copy !req
1213. Snatch and run, you all!Copy !req
1214. Come back here, you motherfuckers!
Son of a bitch!Copy !req