1. - Hello.
Wanna have a little fun?Copy !req
2. - Who's this?
- Tell me your name
and I'll tell you mine.Copy !req
3. I don't think so.Copy !req
4. - What's that noise?
- Oops. I farted.Copy !req
5. - I didn't think
you would hear me.
- No, that popping noise.Copy !req
6. Oh. I'm making popcorn.
I'm getting ready to watch a video.Copy !req
7. - Ooh. What is it?
- It's just a scary movie.Copy !req
8. - Do you like scary movies?
- Mm-hmm.Copy !req
9. - What's your favorite?
- Mm, I don't know.Copy !req
10. Think.Copy !req
11. Oh, I know. Um, Kazaam,
the one where Shaq plays a genie.Copy !req
12. - That's not a horror movie.
- Well, you haven't seen Shaq act.Copy !req
13. - Hey, you have a nice voice.
- Thanks.Copy !req
14. You never did tell me your name.Copy !req
15. Why do you wanna know my name?Copy !req
16. 'Cause I wanna know
who I'm looking at.Copy !req
17. What...
What did you say?Copy !req
18. Nice breasts.Copy !req
19. Look, what do you want?Copy !req
20. I wanna see
what your insides look like.Copy !req
21. Well... Well, then,
turn to page 54.Copy !req
22. Oh.Copy !req
23. Hey, nice.Copy !req
24. Listen, asshole, you've had your fun,
now you better stop or else.Copy !req
25. - Or else what?
- Or else my boyfriend's
gonna be here any minute,Copy !req
26. and he's black
and he'll kick your ass.Copy !req
27. - Oh, really?
- Yeah.Copy !req
28. You mean the one who wears makeup
and dresses like a woman?Copy !req
29. - How did you know?
- Turn the porch lights on.Copy !req
30. Help! Help!Copy !req
31. Oh, that's not my boyfriend.
I mean, I've fucked him a couple
of times, but that's it.Copy !req
32. - Look, I'm calling the cops.Copy !req
33. Go ahead. Call the cops.Copy !req
34. But you might wanna
check the back door first.Copy !req
35. You forgot to lock it.Copy !req
36. Take that, you psycho!Copy !req
37. I can't feel my legs.Copy !req
38. I think my arm is broken.Copy !req
39. - Sorry.
- I want my mommy.Copy !req
40. Hello, Drew.Copy !req
41. Oh, God!Copy !req
42. - Daddy! Daddy!
- Ugh!Copy !req
43. Daddy!Copy !req
44. - Daddy!Copy !req
45. Daddy, no! No!Copy !req
46. - Did you hear something?
- No, I didn't hear anything.Copy !req
47. Bobby, what are you doing?
My dad's in the other room.Copy !req
48. It just occurred to me. I never
climbed through your window before.Copy !req
49. Now that you got it out of your system,
Bobby, you have to leave.Copy !req
50. Why?Copy !req
51. Shh. Come on.Copy !req
52. What's going on in there?Copy !req
53. Ow! Daddy's head is stuck.
Unstick Daddy's head.Copy !req
54. - Dad, can you knock?Copy !req
55. - Knock?
I thought I heard screaming in here.
- No. No, you didn't, Dad.Copy !req
56. Well, it could've been that crack
I smoked earlier, I guess.Copy !req
57. - Yeah.
- Yeah, that's what it was.Copy !req
58. I gotta leave town
for a couple of days.Copy !req
59. No big deal. Just that new business
I started with those Colombian guys?Copy !req
60. - Oh, you mean Uncle Escobar.
- Yeah. Yeah, that's right.Copy !req
61. Well, there's a problem.
Some money went missing.Copy !req
62. And apparently,
some legs are gonna get broken.Copy !req
63. It's just better if I lay low
for a couple of days.Copy !req
64. - If the cops raid the place...
- I never heard of you.Copy !req
65. - And don't forget...
- To flush your stash.Copy !req
66. Oh, you are my little girl.
I love you so much...Copy !req
67. that I left you a little something
in the coffee can.Copy !req
68. - Dad...
- But you have to remember to step
on it before you sell it.Copy !req
69. - Now, what are you
gonna cut it with?
- Um, baking...Copy !req
70. Baking soda.
Not baking powder.Copy !req
71. Because baking powder guys
will have muffins growing
out of their nose.Copy !req
72. You love that joke,
don't you, honey?Copy !req
73. You've loved that joke
since you were two years old.Copy !req
74. - Okay, well...
- okay, I love you.Copy !req
75. - I love you.
- Have a good trip.Copy !req
76. - Bye.
- Bye. Whew!Copy !req
77. Is the coast clear?Copy !req
78. Oh, Cindy, that nightgown.Copy !req
79. That was close. God!Copy !req
80. I was, uh, home watching
The Exorcist, and it
got me thinking about you.Copy !req
81. If this is about the time
I puked green slime
and masturbated with a crucifix...Copy !req
82. It was my first keg party, Bobby.Copy !req
83. No. No. Uh, it was edited for TV.
All the good stuff was cut out.Copy !req
84. So you thought you would just climb
through my window...Copy !req
85. and we would
play bump-bump?Copy !req
86. I was kind of hoping
to get my balls licked,Copy !req
87. but I wouldn't wanna break
your little underwear rule,
now, would I?Copy !req
88. So maybe just some
on-top-of-the-clothes type stuff?Copy !req
89. Okay. But just for a minute.Copy !req
90. What the...Copy !req
91. Wrong set.Copy !req
92. Bobby! Oh, Bobby!Copy !req
93. - No, Bobby, don't.
- Ow!Copy !req
94. Jeez.Copy !req
95. Yeah, my dad.Copy !req
96. Okay, stud,
you have to go now.Copy !req
97. Oh, um,
about the sex stuff?Copy !req
98. I was only half serious.
I don't wanna rush you or anything.Copy !req
99. Hey, would you settle
for PG-13?Copy !req
100. What's that?Copy !req
101. Oh, jeez!Copy !req
102. - Good night, Bobby.Copy !req
103. - Shorty, you are so loud.Copy !req
104. And make sure you take
your behind to class today.Copy !req
105. - I do be going to class.
- Lunch is not a class, Shorty.Copy !req
106. It is when you got
the munchies.Copy !req
107. - See, that's why
you such a dumb-ass.
- Your mother.Copy !req
108. You my brother.
That's your mother too, jackass.Copy !req
109. Oh, yeah.
Well, then, your father's stupid.Copy !req
110. So? I don't know him.Copy !req
111. Yeah, me neither.Copy !req
112. - Hey, girl, you ready?
- Yeah, in a minute.Copy !req
113. - We're gonna be late.
- Wait. There's Buffy.Copy !req
114. I don't know why
you hang out with her.Copy !req
115. - She is such a ho.
- Why do you say that?Copy !req
116. 'Cause I've seen her.Copy !req
117. - My friend Sean
had a pool party this summer.
- Sean?Copy !req
118. You know, Puff Daddy?Copy !req
119. Anyway, everybody was drinking
Cristal champagne.Copy !req
120. And then it started to get wild,
and people were getting freaky
in the pool and stuff.Copy !req
121. I look over and there was
your girl getting buck wild
in theJacuzzi.Copy !req
122. So?Copy !req
123. With a backup dancer.Copy !req
124. I mean, that's nasty.Copy !req
125. That's-That's lower
than the security guard.Copy !req
126. At least security can get you backstage.
She don't love herself.Copy !req
127. Bye, Daddy.
- I don't know. I think
Buffy's sweet, Brenda.Copy !req
128. She is as fake
as Press-on nails.Copy !req
129. Hey, baby girl!Copy !req
130. What is up,
my sister?Copy !req
131. - Bye, Mr. Gilmore.
- Bye!Copy !req
132. - Is he gone?
- Yep.Copy !req
133. Hey, Cindy!Copy !req
134. - I love this color.
- Let me see that.Copy !req
135. - Oh, you guys should
not use this brand.
- Why not?Copy !req
136. - Because they test
their products on animals.
- So?Copy !req
137. Look, have you seen what they do
to those poor animals?Copy !req
138. Well, I am much more
of a people person.Copy !req
139. I'd like to feed all the hungry,
little children of the world.Copy !req
140. I'd much rather help my fellow man
than some animal.Copy !req
141. - Spare a dollar?
- Get away from me, you bum!Copy !req
142. Buffy! Can't you see
he's just hungry?Copy !req
143. Here you go, sir.
A nice sandwich.Copy !req
144. - See?
- I said a dollar, bitch!Copy !req
145. Ow!Copy !req
146. God.
Look at this place.Copy !req
147. It's a circus.Copy !req
148. Hello. I'm Gail Hailstorm,
author of the book,
You're Dead, I'm Rich.Copy !req
149. A small college town
is in shock...Copy !req
150. after the unthinkable
has happened:Copy !req
151. A brutal killing spree
that left one teen dead...Copy !req
152. - That's it. Two teens dead...Copy !req
153. And this small town
shaken and stirred.Copy !req
154. - It's times like these...
- Police are combing
the area for clues.Copy !req
155. There are no witnesses
available at this time.Copy !req
156. There are no suspects
in custody.Copy !req
157. Police are asking anyone
to come forward.Copy !req
158. Reporting live for Black TV.
White folks are dead and we're
getting the fuck out of here!Copy !req
159. Grab your shit
and let's go, motherfucker!Copy !req
160. Hey, do you think the press is gonna
wanna talk to us?Copy !req
161. Oh, girl, no. The press
only wants to interview the most
ignorant person they can find.Copy !req
162. I'm on TV! Oh, shit!
First Cops, now this!Copy !req
163. Oh, man, I'm gonna be
a star, son!Copy !req
164. - What can you tell us about Drew?
- Well, she had the phat ass.Copy !req
165. - I mean, it was like bang!
- How close were you to the victim?Copy !req
166. Real close.
Until the roofies wore off.Copy !req
167. Then she woke up talking about
pressing charges.Copy !req
168. So I just pulled my tongue
out of her ass and left.Copy !req
169. What would have been
your last words to Drew?Copy !req
170. Run, bitch! Run!Copy !req
171. Hey, yo, dawg.
Does this shirt make me look gay?Copy !req
172. No, man.Copy !req
173. What about now?Copy !req
174. - Nah. Yeah.
- Cool?Copy !req
175. Here. Take one, guys.
Don't forget: Election's Tuesday.Copy !req
176. "Don't forget:
Election's Tuesday."Copy !req
177. Ah! Goddamn it!
Son of a bitch!Copy !req
178. What's the matter, honey?Copy !req
179. My report card.Copy !req
180. Well, at least
you got one "A."Copy !req
181. Yeah. I did, huh?Copy !req
182. - You're so smart.Copy !req
183. - Hey, has anybody seen Bobby?
- Nah.Copy !req
184. You know what?
That kid is always late.Copy !req
185. I don't get it.
He lives so close.Copy !req
186. See you later,
Hairy Mama, Bubba, Jim,Copy !req
187. Big Jim, Little Jim,
Slim Jim, everybody.Copy !req
188. I'll see you later. Ciao, Ding.
All right.Copy !req
189. Damn, girl.
Mm-mm-mm.Copy !req
190. - I'd sure like to get in them pants.
- Really?Copy !req
191. Yeah. What size are these?Copy !req
192. Hey, guys.Copy !req
193. - Hey, Bobby.
- Hey, baby.Copy !req
194. - How you doing?
- Good.Copy !req
195. - You guys see all
the reporters out there?
- Yeah.Copy !req
196. Saying that girl Drew Decker
got killed last night.Copy !req
197. - You know what? I think I knew her.
- Really?Copy !req
198. - She had a brother named Steve?
- Yeah.Copy !req
199. Long hair, pretty little mouth,
perfect ass?Copy !req
200. - That was her.
- Nah, I was talking about Steve.Copy !req
201. Whatever happened
to him?Copy !req
202. Do you guys think it's strange
that she got killed...Copy !req
203. exactly one year
after we,Copy !req
204. you know,
killed that guy?Copy !req
205. Hey, Cindy,
that was an accident.Copy !req
206. Was it, Greg?Copy !req
207. Yeah!Copy !req
208. Would you look
at what they're doing?Copy !req
209. When are we gonna do
stuff like that, huh?Copy !req
210. One day.Copy !req
211. - You like that, baby?
- Yeah, that's different.Copy !req
212. - You like that?
- Oh, I love that.Copy !req
213. Oh, I love
when you play with my ass.Copy !req
214. I'm not playing
with your ass.Copy !req
215. - Ray!
- Oh, my bad.Copy !req
216. Come on, man!
Hey, Bobby, put on some music.Copy !req
217. Hold on.Copy !req
218. Here. Put this on.Copy !req
219. Yeah! Whoo!Copy !req
220. - What? It was laundry day.
- What the fuck is...Copy !req
221. Yeah!Copy !req
222. Whoo! Yeah!Copy !req
223. - Hey. Come over here.
- What?Copy !req
224. - Just get a little closer to me.
- Something you're gonna tell me?Copy !req
225. - Bobby, what are you doing?Copy !req
226. I just want you to touch it.
Just touch it. Come on.Copy !req
227. - Uh...
- Just a little bit. Come on.Copy !req
228. Whoo!Copy !req
229. - Ow!
- Oh, yeah, that's
what I'm talkin' about.Copy !req
230. Oh, my God! Shit!Copy !req
231. God, Cindy...
oh, shit!Copy !req
232. - oh, my God.
- What was that?Copy !req
233. I think
we hit something.Copy !req
234. Oh, man!Copy !req
235. Bobby, look at my car, man!
My dad's gonna freak!Copy !req
236. I didn't see it.
It came out of nowhere.Copy !req
237. - Oh, my God, we hit a boot.
- Where's the foot?Copy !req
238. I don't know.Copy !req
239. Where the...Copy !req
240. - It's a body!Copy !req
241. - Oh, shit, is he alive?
- I don't know.Copy !req
242. - Well, check it out.
- I can't.Copy !req
243. - Shit!
- We have to call the police.Copy !req
244. - No way. I ain't going to jail.
- We have to!Copy !req
245. Cindy, do you know what they do
to young boys in prison?Copy !req
246. And all those sex-starved
convicts just waiting
for a fresh piece of meat.Copy !req
247. Hey, you're right, Cindy.
Maybe we should call the police.Copy !req
248. Oh, yeah,
That's a great idea, Ray.
But what about Brenda, huh?Copy !req
249. You think she wants
to go to jail?Copy !req
250. This is manslaughter, okay?
We're all gonna fry for this.Copy !req
251. - We're looking at 10 to 15 years.
- Shut up, Bobby!Copy !req
252. - It's okay. I'm fine.
- Alcohol all over.
- We're in so much trouble.Copy !req
253. - I'm fine.
- Don't blame
that shit on me, Ray.Copy !req
254. - Look, we'll get rid of the body.
- Unnecessary.Copy !req
255. - Now you're thinking.
- We'll dump him in the ocean.
- Not the ocean, the pier.Copy !req
256. - Guess I'll be leaving now.
- That's a great idea.Copy !req
257. - What about the alcohol?
- We'll get rid of it.Copy !req
258. Come on. It'll be all right.Copy !req
259. - Come on. Hurry up. Let's go.
- Put him in the trunk.Copy !req
260. - I won't have anything to do with this!
- Shut up!Copy !req
261. Cindy, come on.
We'll just pretend it never happened.Copy !req
262. You know, like the time we got drunk
and we went down on each other.Copy !req
263. - I'll get his arm.
- I'll grabl'll grab
his other arm. His ass.Copy !req
264. We'll take him down to Williamson Cove
and we'll dump him in there.Copy !req
265. The sharks'll take care
of the evidence.Copy !req
266. Oh, my God,
someone's coming.Copy !req
267. - Oh, shit. It's Shorty.
- Brenda, take care of him.Copy !req
268. Shorty, I know you ain't driving
without no papers.Copy !req
269. I got papers,
blunts, bongs,Copy !req
270. all the ingredients
to make a high nigga pie.Copy !req
271. - Hey, yo, can I help you?
- Yo, what's up, Ray?Copy !req
272. - Yo, son, you all need jumper cables?
- Nah, we're cool.Copy !req
273. Oh, good, 'cause I left
my roach clip at home.Copy !req
274. - Go home, Shorty.
- Yeah, I-I'll see you later.Copy !req
275. Peace, Ray.Copy !req
276. - Get the trunk closed.
- It won't close.Copy !req
277. - I'll do it.Copy !req
278. Hold on. Hold on. Put him down.
He's heavy. Oh, God.Copy !req
279. Okay, look. On three we dump him
over the ledge.Copy !req
280. Wait, wait, wait.
Shouldn't we at least check his wallet?Copy !req
281. - For what?
- Shit, he might have some money.Copy !req
282. We already committed murder.
We might as well rob his ass.Copy !req
283. - I'll take the credit cards.
- I want his jewelry.
- I'm gonna take his drawers.Copy !req
284. - Get off! Hey, yo, get off!
His drawers are mine! Yo!Copy !req
285. - I got me a gold ring.
- Credit cards.Copy !req
286. - All right, let's get him in the water.
- I don't think I can, Greg.Copy !req
287. - It's not too late.
- Shut up, okay?Copy !req
288. - Christ, already. I'll do it.
- Just get him in the water.Copy !req
289. Okay. One, two,Copy !req
290. three.Copy !req
291. Right now we make a pact.
We take this to our grave.Copy !req
292. - Agreed?
- Agreed.
- Agreed.Copy !req
293. - Agreed?
- Agreed.Copy !req
294. Say it, Cindy. Say it!Copy !req
295. We take this to our grave. Say it!Copy !req
296. - We take this to our grave. Say it.Copy !req
297. Greg, chill. Come on.
You're hurting her.Copy !req
298. We take this
to our grave. Ow.Copy !req
299. And we never
mention this again.Copy !req
300. Mention what?Copy !req
301. - The guy we just killed.
- Well, you just mentioned it, Greg.Copy !req
302. Starting now!Copy !req
303. Stupid bitch, man.Copy !req
304. - God. I hate him.
- It's gonna be okay, baby.
It's gonna be okay.Copy !req
305. I promise. Just touch it again.
Come on. Please.Copy !req
306. - You have to move on, Cindy.
That's all behind us now.
- Exactly.Copy !req
307. - It's a coincidence.
- Greg's right, Cindy.Copy !req
308. I mean, what do you think
we're in, a horror movie?Copy !req
309. Yeah, you guys are right.
Lfwe were,Copy !req
310. they'd probably cast some dingbat
likeJennifer Love Huge Tits to play me.Copy !req
311. Yeah, or they'd cast people
in their late twenties,
early thirties to play us.Copy !req
312. - Kenny, get the camera ready.
Here. Hold my gum.Copy !req
313. - Sheriff, Sheriff,
can I get a statement?
- No comment.Copy !req
314. Damn. Who do I have to screw around here
to get a stupid story?Copy !req
315. Hey! Hey, no running.Copy !req
316. - Loser.Copy !req
317. - Slow it down!
- Blow me!Copy !req
318. All right!Copy !req
319. Hi. Gail Hailstorm.
Field Reporter, Hard Story.Copy !req
320. Special officer Doofy.Copy !req
321. Oh, hi, Doofy. Doofy, listen.
Is there a problem on campus?Copy !req
322. - No comment. No comment.
- Okay. Okay.Copy !req
323. You know, you look awfully young
to be a police officer.Copy !req
324. - I'm 25 and a half years old.
- Ooh!Copy !req
325. - Yeah, that's this many.
- Ah, so big.Copy !req
326. Yeah. That's big.Copy !req
327. - Well, you don't look
a day over 12.Copy !req
328. Except for the big head
and glazed-over look in your eyes.Copy !req
329. - Ooh, was that drool?
- Yeah. I forgot to swallow.Copy !req
330. Don't worry,
'cause I never forget.Copy !req
331. - Would you remind me
not to do that again?
- Sorry.Copy !req
332. Due to the recent tragedy, the sheriff
and me, your principal,Copy !req
333. will be questioning all students
throughout the day.Copy !req
334. Wow. Sounds like we've got the makings
of a serial killer on our hands.Copy !req
335. Yeah, I'm not supposed to say.
It's official police business.Copy !req
336. Hey, Doofy, what do you say you and I
go inside my van over there...Copy !req
337. and, uh, get to know
each other a little better?Copy !req
338. - Would you like that?
Yeah, that van right there.
- That van?Copy !req
339. - Yeah.Copy !req
340. - Yeah, okay, let's go. Come on.
- Oh!Copy !req
341. Aterrible tragedy
and an unbearable loss.Copy !req
342. It's days like today
that we need prayer in school.Copy !req
343. It starts to unravel
the very moral fabric
of our society.Copy !req
344. Here you go, baby.Copy !req
345. Go to your daddy.Copy !req
346. Oh!Copy !req
347. I'll see you after class.Copy !req
348. - Sweet!
- All right!Copy !req
349. Okay, class, who would like to give
their oral presentation first?Copy !req
350. - Oh!
- Anybody?Copy !req
351. - Yes!
- Anybody else?Copy !req
352. - Okay, Heather.Copy !req
353. - Okay. Can I start?
- Yeah.Copy !req
354. Okay, my presentation
is on the First Amendment.Copy !req
355. And it began on May 25, 1787 in Philly
with George Washington.Copy !req
356. And it states, and I quote,Copy !req
357. "When our Founding Fathers
argued the passage
of our glorious Constitution..."Copy !req
358. The First Amendment gives us the right
to say what we want...Copy !req
359. oh, shut the fuck up!Copy !req
360. - So, who's next?Copy !req
361. Uh, Cindy Campbell.Copy !req
362. Isn't she the daughter
of, well, you know...Copy !req
363. - oh, yeah, you know,
old Mrs., uh...
- old Mrs...Copy !req
364. Yeah. Yeah,
the one and only...Copy !req
365. The one and only.Copy !req
366. - Why, hello, Cindy.
- Hi, Principal Squiggman.Copy !req
367. - Thanks, Doofy.
- It's Special officer Doofy today,
Cind.Copy !req
368. Now, Cindy, Sheriffhas some questions
that he would like to ask you today.Copy !req
369. - What is that... god-awful smell?
- I don't know.Copy !req
370. I got a poopie.Copy !req
371. Did you just say
that you went poopie?Copy !req
372. - Yeah. It was good.
- Mm.Copy !req
373. - Get him out of here.
- Yes.Copy !req
374. - Thank you, Doofy.
- okay.Copy !req
375. You should now go back
to Special Ed.Copy !req
376. - Okay. Salute.
- Maybe a change of underwear, son.Copy !req
377. - Bye, Doofy.
- Bye, Cind.Copy !req
378. - How are you, Cindy?
- Fine.Copy !req
379. - How are you, Sheriff?
- Bloated, constipated.Copy !req
380. Got a boil on my ass
the size of a walnut.
You know, the usual.Copy !req
381. Cindy, I want to ask you
some questions about Drew Decker.Copy !req
382. - I didn't really know her.
- Oh, come on. Sure you do.Copy !req
383. No. I mean,
I didn't really know her.Copy !req
384. I've been in this game a long time.
Don't bullshit a bullshitter.Copy !req
385. Tell me about Drew. What
was she like in bed, Cindy?Copy !req
386. Tried to get you.
It's an old police trick.Copy !req
387. It's an old police trick.
You didn't fall for it.
Good for you, kid.Copy !req
388. Hike!Copy !req
389. Pass! Pass!Copy !req
390. - All right, shower up!Copy !req
391. Yes!Copy !req
392. Yo, Dugan, man,
nice play, yo. Word up.Copy !req
393. Johnson, what a block, baby.Copy !req
394. Word up. Woodward. Nice ass.Copy !req
395. Damn.Copy !req
396. Yo, Greg, what's up?
You gonna hit the showers or what?Copy !req
397. No, man. I think I'm gonna work out,
beat the bag a little.Copy !req
398. Suit yourself, kid. All right.
Last one in the shower's a rotten egg!Copy !req
399. Come on, y'all!
I'm gonna get y'all!Copy !req
400. Don't let Uncle Ray catch you!Copy !req
401. Who did this? Huh?
Where are you?Copy !req
402. This isn't funny, all right?Copy !req
403. A small dick's like a disability, man!Copy !req
404. Would you make fun of a guy
in a wheelchair? Huh? Would you?Copy !req
405. Come on out here,
you sick fuck!Copy !req
406. I'll kick the shit
out of you right now! All right?Copy !req
407. It's not the size
of the hammer,Copy !req
408. it's the nail
you're throwing it at!Copy !req
409. It's a shame how she died.Copy !req
410. - She was such a nice girl.
- Yeah, she used to baby-sit
my brother Doofy.Copy !req
411. - He had the biggest crush on her.
- Ray, you're a dead man.Copy !req
412. Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey.Copy !req
413. You wanna get
butt-naked and wrestle?Copy !req
414. - Bring it on, Ray!
- Hold my earrings. Where's my Vaseline?Copy !req
415. - Take it easy. What's the problem?
- I'll show you the problem.Copy !req
416. Oh... That's you?Copy !req
417. They... They turned the hot water off
in the showers, all right?Copy !req
418. Laugh it up, you guys.
Big laugh.Copy !req
419. You know what?
You can all go to hell!Copy !req
420. Greg, you're not the only one
who got one.Copy !req
421. Oh, you mean
Bobby's got a baby dick too?Copy !req
422. No. I was talking
about the note.Copy !req
423. I got one too.Copy !req
424. - Somebody knows.
- That's bullshit, Cindy.Copy !req
425. Someone's just trying
to fuck with us.Copy !req
426. We have to call
the police, Greg.Copy !req
427. You call the police,
and I'll kill you myself.Copy !req
428. - You're hurting her, man.
- And you know what?Copy !req
429. That goes for all of you guys.Copy !req
430. That psycho wants
a piece of me, bring it on.Copy !req
431. But I'm not going to jail.
You got that?Copy !req
432. What's everybody
talkin' about?Copy !req
433. Just forget it, Shorty.
You already know too much.Copy !req
434. - Aren't they beautiful?Copy !req
435. - Buffy!
- Contestant number one!Copy !req
436. Very good.
And contestant number two.Copy !req
437. Very good.
And contestant number three.Copy !req
438. Buffy! That's my girl!Copy !req
439. - That's my girlfriend!
- Yeah, that's my girlfriend too!Copy !req
440. - Hey, kiss my ass!
- [Boy #2] Yeah, I'm hitting that too!Copy !req
441. - All right, Buffy!
- Hey, shut the hell up, man!Copy !req
442. - [Boy #3] The best pussy I ever had!
- What, you want a piece of me?Copy !req
443. Now the talent portion
of the competition.Copy !req
444. Oh, you guys, I'm gonna go
downstairs for a closer seat.
See you after the show.Copy !req
445. - Number three, Buffy Gilmore.Copy !req
446. Hey, you know what? I'm gonna
go hit the head. You want me
to bring you back anything?Copy !req
447. No, no, no. I'm good, man.
But hurry back. She's gonna perform.Copy !req
448. - Don't worry. I'll be back.
- Good evening, Buffy.Copy !req
449. And what will be
your talent for this evening?Copy !req
450. Acting. I'll be doing
a dramatic reading.Copy !req
451. Yeah, yeah!Copy !req
452. Buffy Gilmore
doing a dramatic reading.Copy !req
453. Hey, do that thing from Baywatch!
She's running down the beach!Copy !req
454. Look out, Greg!
Look behind you!Copy !req
455. - It's him! It's the killer!
- Huh?Copy !req
456. Oh, my God!
Somebody do something!Copy !req
457. Somebody do something!Copy !req
458. He's killing him!Copy !req
459. - He's killing him!
- Must be an original piece.Copy !req
460. He's killing him!Copy !req
461. - She's good. She's good.Copy !req
462. - What's wrong with you people?
- That's fantastic.Copy !req
463. You fucking bastards!
Why won't anyone help?Copy !req
464. - Amazing.
- She's the next Pamela Lee.Copy !req
465. Oh, God!
Oh, God! Don't!Copy !req
466. - Greg, hold on!Copy !req
467. Give it up for Buffy Gilmore!
Beautiful.Copy !req
468. - Absolutely fantastic.Copy !req
469. I think we have a winner,
ladies and gentlemen.
Miss Buffy Gilmore!Copy !req
470. Buffy, wait.
You have to go back onstage.Copy !req
471. - No. I have to get to Greg.
- But you won!Copy !req
472. - They're calling your name.
- There's a killer...Copy !req
473. - I won?
- They're calling your name. Go.Copy !req
474. - Buffy, what happened? What about Greg?
- Oh, fuck Greg. I won.Copy !req
475. - Congratulations!
- Oh, out of my way, loser!Copy !req
476. - Miss Buffy Gilmore!Copy !req
477. There's no sign
of him anywhere.Copy !req
478. - He could've taken the body.
- That's impossible, Cindy.Copy !req
479. - There's no blood.
There's nothing. Look around.
- I bet it's just Greg playing...Copy !req
480. another one of his dumb jokes.Copy !req
481. He's gonna turn up. I'm sure of it.
He's probably at my house
waiting for us right now,Copy !req
482. - you guys.
- All right, fine.Copy !req
483. But you know what?
I'm gonna look around some more, so...Copy !req
484. - You mind catching
a ride home with Buffy?
- Yeah, no problem.Copy !req
485. - All right, fine.
- Call me later.Copy !req
486. - Hello.
- Hello, Cindy.Copy !req
487. - Who is this?
- It's me, Bobby.Copy !req
488. You know, your boyfriend.Copy !req
489. Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess
I'm a little jumpy lately.Copy !req
490. - Hey, any sign of Greg?
- No.Copy !req
491. - Do you want me to come by?
- No.Copy !req
492. I'm just gonna take a bath,
and then I'm gonna go to bed.Copy !req
493. Okay. I'd really like
to see you, but... I love you.Copy !req
494. Aw. I love you too, baby.Copy !req
495. Bobby, I told you...Copy !req
496. I still know
what you did last Halloween.Copy !req
497. - Who is this?Copy !req
498. - Ow! Ow!Copy !req
499. - Hello.
- I'm gonna kill you.Copy !req
500. - I'm gonna slice you up.
- Who is this?Copy !req
501. - I'm gonna chop you like liver.
- What do you want?Copy !req
502. I'm in the house.Copy !req
503. Do you know where I am?Copy !req
504. I could be anywhere.
I'm like the wind, baby.Copy !req
505. Yeah. Where am I?Copy !req
506. Um, you're-you're
behind the couch.Copy !req
507. What? How do you know that?Copy !req
508. I can, um, see your feet.Copy !req
509. Ah! Okay, turn around.Copy !req
510. Close your eyes.
No peeking.Copy !req
511. Yeah. No. No. No.Copy !req
512. Hey, no peeking.
No peeking. Turn around.Copy !req
513. Good.Copy !req
514. Okay, now you look.Copy !req
515. Now do you know
where I am? You don't.Copy !req
516. No, Mr. Killer.
I don't know where you are.Copy !req
517. - I'll give you a big clue.Copy !req
518. Oh! I gotta stop drinking.Copy !req
519. - Grandma!
- Ow, baby!Copy !req
520. Oh, my hip!Copy !req
521. White woman in trouble off the 744...Copy !req
522. Are you okay? I heard screaming.
What's going on?Copy !req
523. - Bobby, he was here.
- Shh.Copy !req
524. - The killer was here, Bobby.
- It's okay.Copy !req
525. - I can explain that.
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
526. A friend gave 'em to me.
Cindy. Cindy.Copy !req
527. - Cindy. Cindy!Copy !req
528. Cindy! Cindy! Cindy!Copy !req
529. It's me, Cind.Copy !req
530. Cindy, you know me. Cindy.Copy !req
531. I know you've had a rough night, Cindy,
so I won't keep you.Copy !req
532. I just want you to look at some photos.
Tell me what you think.Copy !req
533. Mm-mmm.Copy !req
534. - No?
- No.Copy !req
535. - I'm sorry, Sheriff.
- You sure?Copy !req
536. Okay, you're free to go.
Do you have somebody picking you up?Copy !req
537. - Yeah.
- Oh. Just...Copy !req
538. Just check
that one out again.Copy !req
539. - Mm, no.
- No? No? Well, worth a shot.
All right, thanks.Copy !req
540. - Guess what I just did
with those hookers we busted.
- No way.Copy !req
541. All the way, man! Yes, yes.
Watch this. Doofy!Copy !req
542. - Yeah?
- Come on. Come on.Copy !req
543. Okay.Copy !req
544. Special officer Doofy
reporting.Copy !req
545. Hey, Doofy,
smell my fingers.Copy !req
546. - What's that?
- That's when you know
you've become a man, Doofy!Copy !req
547. Hey, Terry,
smell my finger.Copy !req
548. - What the hell is that?
- My ass.Copy !req
549. - Get the hell
out of here, Doofy.
- Doofy.Copy !req
550. - Mom said get home now.
- Tell Mom I'm on official
police business.Copy !req
551. - Cindy, are you okay?
- Hey, hey, hey.
No talking to the witness.Copy !req
552. - Go get in the car, Doofy.
She's coming with us.
- Does Mom know?Copy !req
553. - Yeah, Doofus.
- Mom says when I wear this badge,Copy !req
554. you're supposed to treat me
like a man of the law.Copy !req
555. Mom also said for you
to stop sticking your dick
in the vacuum cleaner.Copy !req
556. - Oh!
- Oh!Copy !req
557. Okay, three, two...Copy !req
558. - Oh, no. Gosh darn.
- What now?Copy !req
559. - It's just that there's all
these numbers with deci...
- What, can't you count?Copy !req
560. - No, I can count,
but there's really...
- Let me make it easy for you.Copy !req
561. This little piggy went to the market.
This little piggy stayed home.Copy !req
562. Now, if this little piggy doesn't roll
the goddamn camera...Copy !req
563. - I'm gonna put my foot
up his fuckin' ass...
- We're live, Gail.Copy !req
564. Gail Hailstorm standing out front
of the police station...Copy !req
565. where I'm going to try and get a glimpse
of Cindy Campbell,Copy !req
566. the young girl who was attacked
earlier this evening.Copy !req
567. - You're on my foot, fat shit!
- Sorry, G...Copy !req
568. - What did I say?
- "Don't ever step
on Gail's shoes."Copy !req
569. - Why not?
- Because Gail wears Prada shoes.Copy !req
570. - You idiot.
- I'm a bad man.Copy !req
571. Cindy! Cindy!Copy !req
572. - Cindy, can we get a statement?
- Buffy Gilmore, Miss Teen.Copy !req
573. - She's not talking.
- Is it true the police
have someone in custody?Copy !req
574. - Come on, Cindy.
- Cindy, your ass looks fat!Copy !req
575. Bitch!Copy !req
576. - Good shot.
- Come on.Copy !req
577. - All right, who copped a feel?
- Gail, it was me.Copy !req
578. - Oh, my God.
- It was an accident, Gail.Copy !req
579. I only touched it,
the top of the breast.Copy !req
580. - It was so tender and juicy.
- Shut up!Copy !req
581. - Yo.
- Hello, Shorty. What are you doing?Copy !req
582. Nothin'. Sittin' here watchin' the game.
Smokin' some bud.Copy !req
583. Are you all alone?Copy !req
584. - Wassup?
- Wassup?Copy !req
585. What the...
Who's that?Copy !req
586. Yo, pick up the phone.Copy !req
587. - Wassup?
- Wassup?Copy !req
588. Yo, Dookie,
pick up the phone!Copy !req
589. - Yo.
- Wassup?Copy !req
590. - What you doin', son?
- Nothin'. Just chillin', killin'.Copy !req
591. True. True.Copy !req
592. So you think
Bobby did it?Copy !req
593. I don't know.
But he was there, Buffy.Copy !req
594. I knew there had to be something.
He's just too perfect.Copy !req
595. Handsome, smart,
good in bed.Copy !req
596. - What did you say?
- Uh...Copy !req
597. Hey, Cind.
Got your ice pack for your hand.Copy !req
598. - Ow!
- Sorry.Copy !req
599. - I'll get you one for your head.Copy !req
600. No, no, that's okay, Doofy.Copy !req
601. Hey, we're gonna get that guy
you dumped in the water. Yeah.Copy !req
602. I'll be next door
if you need me.Copy !req
603. Night, Cind.Copy !req
604. Buffy, you told him?Copy !req
605. The moron overheard a conversation
Greg and I were having.Copy !req
606. - Yeah, but what
if he says something?
- Who's gonna believe...Copy !req
607. a retarded retard
like him anyway?Copy !req
608. Cindy, telephone.Copy !req
609. Thank you.Copy !req
610. - Hello.
- Hello, Cindy.Copy !req
611. - Guess what.
- No!Copy !req
612. - You got the wrong guy.
- No!Copy !req
613. - Doofy!
- It's not Bobby.Copy !req
614. - Who is this?Copy !req
615. - Doofy! Doofy!
- Oh, my God.Copy !req
616. Hello?Copy !req
617. Hello?Copy !req
618. I said don't disturb me
while I'm cleaning my room!Copy !req
619. I heard Bobby got out
this morning.Copy !req
620. I haven't seen him around.
Is he pissed?Copy !req
621. You mean since
you branded him the Candyman?
No. His heart is broken.Copy !req
622. Yo, son. It's like
I seen this all before.Copy !req
623. They had a killer at
your old high school, Shorty?Copy !req
624. No, it was in this movie Scream.Copy !req
625. Same dialogue and everything.
This is ill.Copy !req
626. - How did it end?
- I don't know.Copy !req
627. Some niggas started shooting
up in the movie theater,
so we just broke out.Copy !req
628. - No doubt.
- Okay, I say we all
just stick together.Copy !req
629. Tonight everyone
meet at my house.Copy !req
630. And bring some friends.
But don't tell everyone.
Try to keep it quiet.Copy !req
631. Okay.Copy !req
632. Yo! Party at Cindy's house!
Drunk white women for everybody!Copy !req
633. Ray, if you see Bobby,
tell him I love him.Copy !req
634. Okay. If I see Bobby,
I'll tell him I love him.Copy !req
635. - Jesus!
- It's okay. It's all right.
It's just me, baby.Copy !req
636. - What, you don't still
think it's me, do you?
- No.Copy !req
637. It's just that somebody
did try to kill me.Copy !req
638. - And the police said
I scared him away.
- I know. He called me last night.Copy !req
639. You see, it couldn't have been me.
I was in jail last night. Remember?Copy !req
640. You're the best.Copy !req
641. I'm sorry.
Please understand.Copy !req
642. Understand what?
That my girlfriend would rather
call me a killer than touch me?Copy !req
643. - That's not true, Bobby.
- Then what is it?Copy !req
644. What is it?
She's gone and she's not coming back.Copy !req
645. - It's been over a year, Cindy.
- But Ginger was such an important
part of the Spice Girls.Copy !req
646. - Oh, you gotta move on, baby.
- Oh!Copy !req
647. I'm sorry if my complicated life...Copy !req
648. is an inconvenience
to your perfect existence.Copy !req
649. Cindy. Cind.Copy !req
650. Okay, everybody, listen up.Copy !req
651. Let me just say, uh,Copy !req
652. the killing of these teenagers
has been tragic, but, uh...Copy !req
653. Hey, you know, shit happens.Copy !req
654. Sheriff! Sheriff!Copy !req
655. - Yes, Miss Thunderstorm.
- Have they found
Cindy Campbell's father?Copy !req
656. - No.
- Isn't he a suspect?Copy !req
657. That is classified information.
Where are you getting that?Copy !req
658. I'm sorry, but my sources
are strictly confidential, Sheriff.Copy !req
659. Hey, Gail.Copy !req
660. Gail swallows.Copy !req
661. Watch this.Copy !req
662. Hello. Who is this?Copy !req
663. What?Copy !req
664. You wanna kill me?Copy !req
665. Oh, God. Hold on.Copy !req
666. - Cindy, it's for you.Copy !req
667. All right,
knock it off, Buffy.Copy !req
668. Now, as you all have heard,
there is a killer in town...Copy !req
669. and the police have asked us to give you
the following safety tips.Copy !req
670. Stay in well-lit areas.Copy !req
671. Do not travel alone
whenever possible.Copy !req
672. Always wipe front to back.Copy !req
673. And remember, never, ever
believe someone...Copy !req
674. when they tell you
that shaving your pubic hair...Copy !req
675. will rid you
of crab infestation.Copy !req
676. Now, I understand
this is a difficult time
for you young ladies.Copy !req
677. So if anyone needs
to come to my office to talk,Copy !req
678. I am here for you.Copy !req
679. - What a crock of shit.
- It's not, Buffy!Copy !req
680. - He's real!Copy !req
681. Miss Mann?Copy !req
682. Come in, dear. Have a seat.
Take off your bra if you'd like.Copy !req
683. No, thanks.Copy !req
684. What can I do for you,
Cindy?Copy !req
685. I need to talk.
See, I have this problem...Copy !req
686. and I don't know
who to tell.Copy !req
687. - Not feeling so fresh?
- Huh?Copy !req
688. Feminine odor and itching
got you down?Copy !req
689. Uh, no. No, not that.Copy !req
690. Then what is it?Copy !req
691. I have a terrible secret.Copy !req
692. Well, Cindy, we all have
our little secrets.Copy !req
693. Sometimes we do things
we're not so proud of.Copy !req
694. Some for money,Copy !req
695. others to gain the athletic edge
on the competition.Copy !req
696. Sometimes those secrets
come back to haunt us.Copy !req
697. - Aah!
- Do you know what I mean?Copy !req
698. Yes, I do, um, Miss Mann.
Thanks for ball...Copy !req
699. I mean, all your help.
I have to go to class.Copy !req
700. Anytime, dear.Copy !req
701. - Buffy, are you coming?
- I'll catch up with you guys in a sec.Copy !req
702. Redrum.Copy !req
703. Hello?Copy !req
704. Somebody there?Copy !req
705. Hello!Copy !req
706. Very funny.Copy !req
707. Who put you up
to this, Cindy?Copy !req
708. Lose the cape.
It's way too '90s horror.Copy !req
709. Oh, so what movie is this from,
Die, Cheerleader, Die?Copy !req
710. Wanna play psycho killer?
Can I be the helpless cheerleader?Copy !req
711. Oh, so this is where
I'm supposed to beg for my life?Copy !req
712. Please, Mr. Killer,
don't kill me.Copy !req
713. So is this where
I'm supposed to bleed?Copy !req
714. Oh, look,
I'm bleeding!Copy !req
715. Oh, yeah,
I'm supposed to run, right?Copy !req
716. Okay. I'm running!
I'm running! Help!Copy !req
717. Help! Now I'm gonna fall
and break my leg, leaving me helpless.Copy !req
718. - Aah!Copy !req
719. There you go, Mr. Scary Killer.
I'm panicking now.Copy !req
720. Oh, God!
Somebody please help me!Copy !req
721. Oh, God, no!Copy !req
722. No!Copy !req
723. Oh, now what?Copy !req
724. I guess this is the big climax.
Hope you don't mind if I fake it. Aah!Copy !req
725. Oh, look at me.
I'm all dead.Copy !req
726. I'm a gross, scary severed head.
Come on. Please.Copy !req
727. Do you know who I am? I'm Miss Teen.
You're really giving me a headache.Copy !req
728. And you got blood
all over my Gucci sweater.
I hope you're gonna pay for that.Copy !req
729. Ah! I will not be ignored
by the likes...Copy !req
730. - I'm gonna jump!
- Phil, get back in there.Copy !req
731. - No!
- What are you doing up there?Copy !req
732. - Be reasonable.
- I can't take this fucking job...Copy !req
733. or those greasy
shithead teenagers anymore!Copy !req
734. - I'm going to end it all!
- Wait! Hold on!
We're getting help for you!Copy !req
735. Now we know Bobby's not the killer.
So who is?Copy !req
736. I don't know.Copy !req
737. If the killer
was in your house last night,
why didn't he just kill you then?Copy !req
738. Because he's just
messing with us.Copy !req
739. Don't you see?
He's got us right where he wants us.Copy !req
740. We can't go to the police.
He's just out there
watching us and waiting for us.Copy !req
741. What are you
waiting for, huh?Copy !req
742. What are you waiting for?Copy !req
743. What are you
waiting for?Copy !req
744. What am I waiting for?Copy !req
745. What am I waiting for?
- What are you waiting for?Copy !req
746. - Fuck you!Copy !req
747. Oh, my God.Copy !req
748. Ray, I still don't think
this party is a good idea.Copy !req
749. - You know I'm not gonna
let nothin' happen to you.
- I just don't feel right.Copy !req
750. - Why can't we just
do something else?
- How about we go to the movies?Copy !req
751. Huh? You like that?
See a little movie, huh?Copy !req
752. - Hey! This is my song!
- Hey!Copy !req
753. - You know they gave me
a shout-out on the album, right?
- What?Copy !req
754. ooh, Brenda.Copy !req
755. Did I tell you how sexy you look
in my jersey?Copy !req
756. - I do, Ray?
- Yes.Copy !req
757. I like it. Hey, get up.
Go over there. Let me see it.Copy !req
758. Ooh! Yes, I like that.Copy !req
759. - You like that? You like that?
- Yeah. Hey!Copy !req
760. - Hey, put this on with it.Copy !req
761. - Ray, you are so freaky.
- That's right. You know
I'm freaky, girl.Copy !req
762. Go on. Pull it.
Pull it up.Copy !req
763. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ahh!Copy !req
764. Yeah. Here. Put this on with it.Copy !req
765. Go on.Copy !req
766. - Are you sure?
- Go on, girl. Go on. Pull it on.Copy !req
767. - Okay.
- Go on.Copy !req
768. - I like that look.
- Ooh! I'm bad.Copy !req
769. Here. Put this on with it.Copy !req
770. Go on, girl. Put it on.Copy !req
771. Yeah. Put that shit on there.
Come on. Just shove it on.Copy !req
772. Do it. Yeah.
Ooh, so fucking sexy.Copy !req
773. Come here, girl.
Bring your little sexy ass
over here. Come on!Copy !req
774. Full speed. Charge!Copy !req
775. Yes! Yes!
Come on! Turn around!Copy !req
776. Turn around! Come on!Copy !req
777. Yes, Brendan!
Take it, Brendan! Take it, Brendan!Copy !req
778. - Who?
- Uh... Uh, Brenda.Copy !req
779. Put the helmet on.
No, let's role-play.
Come on. You get me.Copy !req
780. - Come on! Come on!
- Huh?Copy !req
781. I'm here at Lover's Lookout.Copy !req
782. It's dark,
it's in the middle of nowhere,Copy !req
783. and it's where hormone-driven teens
love to come and fool around.Copy !req
784. So very likely we're about
to see someone get killed.Copy !req
785. Okay, sure enough,
there's a girl in that car,
blouse unbuttoned, all alone.Copy !req
786. Let's see if she'll have
a word with us.Copy !req
787. Hi. Gail Hailstorm,
author of the new book
You're Next.Copy !req
788. - Oh, yeah.
- Can you tell us your name?Copy !req
789. - Well, my name's Heather.
- Can you tell us what you're
doing out here all alone?Copy !req
790. Well, yeah, sure.
My boyfriend and I were
just, like, making out...Copy !req
791. and then we heard a noise out there,
so he went to go check it,Copy !req
792. but... well, that was,
like, ten minutes ago.Copy !req
793. Yeah, yeah. Has it crossed your
little mind that your boyfriend
was probably murdered...Copy !req
794. and you're about
to be slaughtered next?Copy !req
795. - Really? No way!
- Way.Copy !req
796. - Heather, good luck.
- Okay, thanks, Gail.
You're the best.Copy !req
797. - Just as I thought. The murder
is happening as we speak.Copy !req
798. I'm going to try and break
into the bloodshed.
Are you getting this?Copy !req
799. Excuse me. Heather, can you tell us
what you're feeling, honey?Copy !req
800. Lots of pain. Gail, please help me.
Gail, please!Copy !req
801. I'd like to help you out, kid,
but it's sweeps.
Sir, sir, can I get a word with you?Copy !req
802. You got a lot of nerve coming here.
I'm just trying to do my job.Copy !req
803. - Get the camera off me now!
You're dead, bitch.
- No, Kenny, keep rolling!Copy !req
804. I'm gonna slice your head off
and shove it up his ass.
Get that camera off me!Copy !req
805. Oh, my God, Kenny!
Kenny, move your fat ass!Copy !req
806. Kenny! Oh, my God,
he's right behind you!Copy !req
807. This man is chasin'Miss Gail.Copy !req
808. I'm so scared right now.Copy !req
809. I just want to say...Copy !req
810. to the family
of my cameraman, Kenny,Copy !req
811. I am so sorry.Copy !req
812. This was my interview,Copy !req
813. my story.Copy !req
814. It's all my fault.Copy !req
815. - You want some popcorn?
- Uh-uh. I brought me
a little snack of my own.Copy !req
816. - You want some chicken?
- Nah.Copy !req
817. Mm-hmm. For all y'all talkers
up in here, it's time
to keep it down right now.Copy !req
818. Shh.Copy !req
819. Shh, back at you. Shh!Copy !req
820. Why they actin' already?
It ain't nothin' but the previews.Copy !req
821. The largest ship
the world had ever known.Copy !req
822. Its 400 passengers and crew
on a maiden voyage
to a brave new world.Copy !req
823. Ajourney that would change
their lives forever.Copy !req
824. Whoo!Copy !req
825. I'm the king of the world!
Whoo-hoo!Copy !req
826. - Get your ass
back down there, boy!Copy !req
827. - I'm gonna go to
the bathroom real quick.
- The movie about to come on.Copy !req
828. I gotta go to the bathroom.
Here. Take your hot sauce.Copy !req
829. Hurry up, man.
Don't be long.Copy !req
830. Back up!
Let him through!Copy !req
831. You can move back some.
You don't own the theater.Copy !req
832. - And they're off!Copy !req
833. It's number three in the lead.
Number two close behind.Copy !req
834. And number three
is the winner!Copy !req
835. Number two has placed,
and number four to show.Copy !req
836. Next week's Triple Crown
starts at 2:30.Copy !req
837. - Be here early.Copy !req
838. Hey, who was that?Copy !req
839. Go ahead.
Do it again. Do it again.Copy !req
840. Anon.Copy !req
841. Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.Copy !req
842. Mm-mmm!
Don't go in there!Copy !req
843. Lord, I'm gonna have a heart attack!Copy !req
844. Man, this is
some scary shit!Copy !req
845. Oh, I am scared!Copy !req
846. - Excuse me.
- I think I paid my money like
everybody else up in here.Copy !req
847. out of her favor...
- That ain't no man.Copy !req
848. - You can see her real hair right there!
- Do you mind?Copy !req
849. I know you better
get outta my face!Copy !req
850. Outta my face!
Outta my face!Copy !req
851. This is all me up in here.
You handle that.Copy !req
852. - Will you shut the fuck up!
- Yeah!Copy !req
853. Mmm, mmm.
This movie is good.Copy !req
854. Hey, baby.
You came back just in time.Copy !req
855. She's about to get it on
with Shakespeare.Copy !req
856. - She dressing like a man...
- Shut up.Copy !req
857. Yeah, I got you.
I got you on camera.Copy !req
858. You on Candid Camera now.Copy !req
859. You ain't know that.Copy !req
860. Hello. Hey, girl.
Uh-uh. I'm in the movie.Copy !req
861. Shakespeare In Love.
Uh-uh. Ooh! You lying.Copy !req
862. For Christ's sake,
will you just shut your trap!Copy !req
863. - Shut up!
- Hold on.Copy !req
864. I don't know why y'all
is actin'like this.Copy !req
865. My girlfriend already seen the movie.
She said they don't even stay together
in the end.Copy !req
866. Give me that.Copy !req
867. Right on.Copy !req
868. Will you sit down.Copy !req
869. - Shut up.Copy !req
870. Your ass is grass.Copy !req
871. - This is for Thelma!
- And Louise!Copy !req
872. This is for talking
through The Fugitive!Copy !req
873. - You ruined Schindler's List.
- Jackie Chan movies.Copy !req
874. - Boogie Nights!
- And Big Momma's House!Copy !req
875. Aaaaaahhhhh!Copy !req
876. And I cannot marry the daughter
of Sir Robert De Lesseps.Copy !req
877. Um, you guys,
there's a few too many people.Copy !req
878. Oh, honey, please don't throw...
Hey, you guys, stop.Copy !req
879. Hey! Hey, please!
That's my dad's!Copy !req
880. - No, don't touch... Ah, no!
- Do you have more beer?Copy !req
881. - Do you have more beer?
- Um, yeah. Uh, check in the garage.Copy !req
882. No, no, no, no!
Don't!Copy !req
883. Kitty, you scared me.Copy !req
884. Horsey.
Oh, you scared me too.Copy !req
885. Hello?
Who's there?Copy !req
886. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Please, don't!Copy !req
887. Please! I'm just a day player!Copy !req
888. Oh, my God!Copy !req
889. Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!Copy !req
890. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!Copy !req
891. Yeah!Copy !req
892. Oh, Bobby. Bobby.
I was worried about you.Copy !req
893. I thought the killer got to you
before I could.Copy !req
894. Could what?Copy !req
895. I wanna go upstairs.
There's something I wanna show you.Copy !req
896. - Yeah.
- oh, yeah.Copy !req
897. - Hey, party on!
- Yeah!Copy !req
898. - So...
- So.Copy !req
899. Here we are... again.Copy !req
900. Yeah.Copy !req
901. And, you know,
if you're not ready,Copy !req
902. I'll understand.Copy !req
903. Bobby.Copy !req
904. I am ready.Copy !req
905. - You are?
- Yeah.Copy !req
906. I can't keep fighting
these urges.Copy !req
907. I have to just
give in to them...Copy !req
908. and let them flow.Copy !req
909. Right.Copy !req
910. - Bobby?
- Huh?Copy !req
911. I have been so selfish.Copy !req
912. This is like a scene
from a movie or something.Copy !req
913. Only it isn't a movie, Bobby.Copy !req
914. This is real life.Copy !req
915. It's all a movie, baby.Copy !req
916. There's the sound guy.
There's the script supervisor.
How ya doin', baby?Copy !req
917. - Bobby?
- What?Copy !req
918. What I mean
is that in real life...Copy !req
919. you have to enjoy
each moment.Copy !req
920. Mmm! Ow!Copy !req
921. Bobby.Copy !req
922. - Bobby!Copy !req
923. Can I tell you a secret?Copy !req
924. Sure, man.Copy !req
925. I see dead people.Copy !req
926. Man, this shit is awesome!Copy !req
927. Yo, son, we gotta roll
some more of that shit!Copy !req
928. Ah, shit!Copy !req
929. We don't have
any more papers, man.Copy !req
930. We don't have
any more papers.Copy !req
931. Oh, man!
What can we use to make a bong?Copy !req
932. Toke! Toke! Toke!
Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!Copy !req
933. - Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!
Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!
- Yeah!Copy !req
934. Oh, shit, son!Copy !req
935. Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!
Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!Copy !req
936. - This some good shit!Copy !req
937. - Bobby! I've never done this before.
- What?Copy !req
938. It's okay. It's okay.Copy !req
939. It's just like...
It's like sucking on a Tootsie Roll Pop.Copy !req
940. - ATootsie Pop?
- Yeah, a cherry-flavor one.Copy !req
941. - Oh.
- With the fudge in the middle?Copy !req
942. - Okay.Copy !req
943. Oh! Jesus!Copy !req
944. I never could wait
to get to the chewy middle.Copy !req
945. - You know what? Let me.
- Oh. Okay.Copy !req
946. Goddamn!Copy !req
947. Guess it's been a while.Copy !req
948. oh! Oops!Copy !req
949. It's very, uh, '70s of you.Copy !req
950. Oh, yeah.
Oh, Bobby!Copy !req
951. Come here, Bobby!
I want it now!Copy !req
952. Oh, man,
am I fuckin' stoned!Copy !req
953. Yeah, me too, son.Copy !req
954. Hey, you guys hear that?Copy !req
955. - [Mimics Electronic Sound That
Precedes Killer's Appearance]Copy !req
956. - Oh!Copy !req
957. - Shh!Copy !req
958. - Hello?Copy !req
959. - Hello.
What's your favorite scary movie?
- Hello?Copy !req
960. Let me talk to her. Shh!Copy !req
961. I'm gonna gut you like a pig!Copy !req
962. Oh, yeah! Oh!Copy !req
963. Yeah! What's my name, Bobby?Copy !req
964. What? Ah!Copy !req
965. - What's my name, bitch?
- Ow! God! It's Cindy!Copy !req
966. Whose is it, Bobby?
Whose is it, Bobby?Copy !req
967. It's yours.Copy !req
968. Ahhhhhh!Copy !req
969. - Oh, my God!Copy !req
970. Oh, shit!Copy !req
971. - Whoo-hoo!
- I got one. I got one.
Here it goes. Ready?Copy !req
972. Yo!Copy !req
973. That was the illest rhyme
I ever seen, son!Copy !req
974. Bobby...
where were you tonight?Copy !req
975. - What?
- I was just curious.Copy !req
976. What took you so long
to get here?Copy !req
977. Why you so curious?Copy !req
978. I don't know.Copy !req
979. I thought it would fit
the '90s horror cliche...Copy !req
980. if you turned out
to be the killer.Copy !req
981. Oh, so, what? You think
I killed Buffy and Greg?Copy !req
982. Buffy and Greg are dead?Copy !req
983. - I thought you knew that.
- Oh, my God!Copy !req
984. Bobby, turn around!
It's the killer!Copy !req
985. - Cindy!Copy !req
986. - Oh, my God! Bobby! Bobby!
- Cindy. Help me.Copy !req
987. - Bobby, it's okay.
- Gimme the gun. Gimme-Copy !req
988. It's gonna be okay, Bobby.Copy !req
989. Yo, wait for me!
There's a killer in the house!Copy !req
990. There's ass, blood
and guts everywhere!Copy !req
991. Someone done gone crazy,
son!Copy !req
992. We all go a little crazy sometimes.
- Bobby, no!Copy !req
993. Oh, shit, son!Copy !req
994. Oh, my God!Copy !req
995. Cindy, he shot me in the lungs.Copy !req
996. You wanna hit this shit?Copy !req
997. Ketchup.Copy !req
998. Just like my mom puts on
her spaghetti, baby.Copy !req
999. Oh, my God! Ray, you've gotta help me!
Bobby's gone crazy!Copy !req
1000. Surprise!Copy !req
1001. - Surprise, Cindy!Copy !req
1002. Why are you doing this, Bobby?Copy !req
1003. Why? Why? You hear that, Ray?Copy !req
1004. I think she wants
a motive.Copy !req
1005. - Did Scream have a plot?
- No.Copy !req
1006. Did I Know What You Did Last Summer
make any sense?Copy !req
1007. Don't think so!Copy !req
1008. What about the sequel?
What was with that fat,
whiteJamaican kid?Copy !req
1009. - I wanna kill that motherfucker.
- It was bad casting, Bobby.Copy !req
1010. How about this for a motive?
Lack of sex!Copy !req
1011. It can cause serious
deviant behavior.Copy !req
1012. - I thought you loved me.
- Oh, I did, baby.Copy !req
1013. I did. But abstinence can make you
discover new things about yourself.Copy !req
1014. That's right, Cindy. I'm gay.Copy !req
1015. And in case you haven't noticed,
so is Ray.Copy !req
1016. What? I ain't gay.Copy !req
1017. - What are you talking about?
You took me to that club.
- So, they play good music.Copy !req
1018. - What about our trip
to San Francisco, then?
- I wanted to go shopping.Copy !req
1019. - But you made love to me.
- No. First of all, you sucked my...Copy !req
1020. Whatever, Ray!
I don't want to talk about this now.Copy !req
1021. The point is, I'm a new man,
and I'm ready to leave all this
behind and start a new life.Copy !req
1022. - So you killed all your friends?
- Oh, no.Copy !req
1023. Just you.Copy !req
1024. And maybe Shorty,
but that wasn't planned or anything.Copy !req
1025. But here's the genius part.Copy !req
1026. We're copycatting a serial killer
that already exists.Copy !req
1027. - It's the perfect crime, Cindy.
- But wait! There's more!Copy !req
1028. Hang on to your seat, baby,
'cause this one's a screamer!Copy !req
1029. - I'll be back.
- Uh-oh.Copy !req
1030. Move your big ass.
Come on.Copy !req
1031. - Dad!Copy !req
1032. What are you gonna do,
frame him?Copy !req
1033. Nah. We're just havin' a little bit
of fun with old daddio.Copy !req
1034. The police are gonna find
you and daddy both dead,Copy !req
1035. and me and Ray are the only survivors
of a maniac's revenge.Copy !req
1036. - You ready? I'm ready.
- You ready? I'm ready to do this shit.Copy !req
1037. - Come on. Come on. All right.
- All right.Copy !req
1038. - Come on!
- Give it to me. No!Copy !req
1039. Wait, wait, wait, wait.Copy !req
1040. - Ready? All right. Let's do this.
- Wait, wait. Ready.Copy !req
1041. - Come on. Come on.
- Ready.Copy !req
1042. Give it to me!Copy !req
1043. No! Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!Copy !req
1044. - Remember what we talked about?
To the side.
- I know.Copy !req
1045. - How many times
we gonna go over this?
- Okay.Copy !req
1046. Stop. Just...
All right. Trust me, okay?Copy !req
1047. - All right. I'm ready.
- Trust me. I got this shit. Ready?Copy !req
1048. - Wait, wait, wait!
- I'm about to cut your throat, boy!Copy !req
1049. Stop acting like a little girl.
Come on. Come on!Copy !req
1050. - You're right, you're right,
you're right. Yeah, come on!
- Come on. You ready?Copy !req
1051. No! You guys are psychos!Copy !req
1052. You've seen
one too many TV shows!Copy !req
1053. No! Watching television shows
doesn't create psycho killers!Copy !req
1054. Cancelin' TV shows does!Copy !req
1055. The Wayans Brothers
was a good show, man!Copy !req
1056. It was a good-ass show,
and we didn't even get a final episode!Copy !req
1057. Take it easy!
I'm feelin' a little woozy here!Copy !req
1058. It's my turn.
Give me the knife.Copy !req
1059. Fuck outta here.
Ain't nobody stabbin' me.Copy !req
1060. Surprise, Cindy!Copy !req
1061. All right, all right.
Hold on a second.Copy !req
1062. Just give me a moment.
Ah. One...Copy !req
1063. Oh, yeah. That's it.Copy !req
1064. Ah. Okay.Copy !req
1065. - Dad!Copy !req
1066. - Are you okay?Copy !req
1067. I thought I told you
not to have a party unless I was here.Copy !req
1068. But, Dad, you were here.
You were in the closet.Copy !req
1069. Oh, yeah, that's right. Did you get some
girlfriends' numbers for me?Copy !req
1070. - Dad, they're dead.
- Ah, you know, I can't get a break.Copy !req
1071. - What's that? Is that the cops?Copy !req
1072. Okay, okay, listen, honey.
Help me up now.Copy !req
1073. Uh... Uh... If the cops come, tell 'em
I'm a plumber, okay?Copy !req
1074. You had a leaky faucet, and you
called, and they sent me over.
We don't know each other.Copy !req
1075. - No! No!Copy !req
1076. Dad, Dad, put your arms down.Copy !req
1077. - What the hell's goin' on here?
- Sheriff,
it's a bloodbath in there.Copy !req
1078. - He was right here! I swear it!
- Who was?Copy !req
1079. The killer!
The guy that murdered all my friends!Copy !req
1080. And the sick bastard planted drugs
all in the house there.Copy !req
1081. - All over the place.
- Dad. Stop it.Copy !req
1082. All right, Cindy.
I'm gonna have to take you
down to the station.Copy !req
1083. I'm cool, though, right?Copy !req
1084. - I'm okay?
- Let's... Let's go, Cindy.Copy !req
1085. Cindy. Call me.Copy !req
1086. Daddy'll get you out, honey.Copy !req
1087. Okay. Let's go over this again.Copy !req
1088. - You say it was an accident.
- Yes.Copy !req
1089. - He was on the road.
- And you think he came back
to get revenge?Copy !req
1090. - It has to be him, Sheriff.Copy !req
1091. Here, Sheriff.
They wanted me to give this to you.Copy !req
1092. - That'll be all, Doofy.
- Okay.Copy !req
1093. - I'm gonna go, then. All right.
- All right.Copy !req
1094. Bye, Cind.Copy !req
1095. I'm sorry, Cindy.
It wasn't the man you guys killed.Copy !req
1096. His name was David Keegan.
Some fishermen found his body
a few weeks later.Copy !req
1097. - He's buried in Lakewood Cemetery.
- That's impossible.Copy !req
1098. - Then I don't know who it could be.
- He's gotta be someone...Copy !req
1099. who was connected with all the victims,
someone who knew about the accident.Copy !req
1100. Someone who could move around
without being noticed.Copy !req
1101. Oh, my God.Copy !req
1102. She used to baby-sit my brother Doofy.
He had the biggest crush on her.Copy !req
1103. It's me, Cind.Copy !req
1104. 'Night, Cind.Copy !req
1105. - Doofy!
- Shithead?Copy !req
1106. - Have you seen Doofy?
- No.Copy !req
1107. - Have you seen Doofy?
Has anybody seen Doofy?
- No, Sheriff.Copy !req
1108. - No.
- Yeah.
Just went out the back, Sheriff.Copy !req
1109. Doofy!Copy !req
1110. No-o-o-o-o!Copy !req
1111. Shit, son. Yo, what the deal?Copy !req
1112. Yo, if y'all watchin'
this tape right now,Copy !req
1113. that means
I didn't make it.Copy !req
1114. Either I'm a prisoner,
or worse, dead.Copy !req
1115. But either way it goes,
I'm gonna tell you all the rules
to survive this situation.Copy !req
1116. Rule number one:
You gotta be quick.Copy !req
1117. Rule number two:
Don't fall down.Copy !req
1118. And rule number three:
Whatever you do, never look back.Copy !req
1119. Y'all wish me luck.Copy !req
1120. Snatch and run, y'all!Copy !req
1121. Come back here, you motherfuckers!
Son of a bitch!Copy !req
1122. This isn't easy for me.Copy !req
1123. I know we've been
together a long time,Copy !req
1124. but I found somebody else.Copy !req
1125. Okay? I'm in love.Copy !req
1126. Don't look at me like that!Copy !req
1127. We could still be friends.Copy !req
1128. You can come into my room
whenever you want.Copy !req
1129. We just can't... No.Copy !req
1130. No!Copy !req
1131. Okay, just one time.Copy !req
1132. Yeah. That's it!Copy !req
1133. Whoo! Oh!Copy !req