1. - Hello.
- Wanna have a little fun?
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2. - Who's this?
- Tell me your name and I'll tell you mine.
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3. I don't think so.
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4. - What's that noise?
- Oops. I farted.
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5. - I didn't think you would hear me.
- No, that popping noise.
Copy !req
6. Oh. I'm making popcorn.
I'm getting ready to watch a video.
Copy !req
7. - Ooh. What is it?
- It's just a scary movie.
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8. - Do you like scary movies?
- Mm-hmm.
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9. - What's your favorite?
- Mm, I don't know.
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10. Think.
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11. Oh, I know. Um, Kazaam,
the one where Shaq plays a genie.
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12. - That's not a horror movie.
- Well, you haven't seen Shaq act.
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13. - Hey, you have a nice voice.
- Thanks.
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14. You never did tell me your name.
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15. Why do you wanna know my name?
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16. Cause I wanna know
who I'm looking at.
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17. What—
What did you say?
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18. Nice breasts.
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19. Look, what do you want?
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20. I wanna see
what your insides look like.
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21. Well— Well, then,
turn to page 54.
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22. Oh.
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23. Hey, nice.
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24. Listen, asshole, you've had your fun,
now you better stop or else.
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25. - Or else what?
- Or else my boyfriends
gonna be here any minute,
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26. and he's black
and he'll kick your ass.
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27. - Oh, really?
- Yeah.
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28. You mean the one who wears makeup
and dresses like a woman?
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29. - How did you know?
- Turn the porch lights on.
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30. Help! Help!
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31. Oh, that's not my boyfriend.
I mean, I've
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32. fucked him a couple of
times, but that's it.
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33. Look, I'm calling the cops.
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34. Go ahead. Call the cops.
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35. But you might wanna
check the back door first.
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36. You forgot to lock it.
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37. Take that, you psycho!
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38. I cant feel my legs.
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39. I think my arm is broken.
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40. - Sorry.
- I want my mommy.
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41. Hello, Drew.
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42. Oh, God!
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43. - Daddy! Daddy!
- Ugh!
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44. Daddy!
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45. Daddy!
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46. Daddy, no! No!
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47. - Did you hear something?
- No, I didn't hear anything.
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48. Bobby, what are you doing?
My dads in the other room.
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49. It just occurred to me. I never
climbed through your window before.
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50. Now that you got it out of your system,
Bobby, you have to leave.
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51. Why?
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52. Shh. Come on.
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53. What's going on in there?
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54. Ow! Daddy's head is stuck.
Unstick Daddy's head.
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55. Dad, can you knock?
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56. - Knock?
I thought I heard screaming in here.
- No. No, you didn't, Dad.
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57. Well, it could've been that crack
I smoked earlier, I guess.
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58. - Yeah.
- Yeah, that's what it was.
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59. I gotta leave town
for a couple of days.
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60. No big deal. Just that new business
I started with those Colombian guys?
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61. - Oh, you mean Uncle Escobar.
- Yeah. Yeah, that's right.
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62. Well, there's a problem.
Some money went missing.
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63. And apparently,
some legs are gonna get broken.
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64. It's just better if I lay low
for a couple of days.
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65. - If the cops raid the place—
- I never heard of you.
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66. - And don't forget—
- To flush your stash.
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67. Oh, you are my little girl.
I love you so much...
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68. that I left you a little something
in the coffee can.
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69. - Dad—
- But you have to remember to step
on it before you sell it.
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70. - Now, what are you
gonna cut it with?
- Um, baking—
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71. Baking soda.
Not baking powder.
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72. Because baking powder guys
will have muffins growing
out of their nose.
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73. You love that joke,
don't you, honey?
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74. You've loved that joke
since you were two years old.
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75. - Okay, well—
- Okay, I love you.
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76. - I love you.
- Have a good trip.
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77. - Bye.
- Bye. Whew!
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78. Is the coast clear?
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79. Oh, Cindy, that nightgown.
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80. That was close. God!
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81. I was, uh, home watching
The Exorcist, and it
got me thinking about you.
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82. If this is about the
time I puked green
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83. slime and masturbated
with a crucifix—
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84. It was my first keg party, Bobby.
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85. No. No. Uh, it was edited for TV.
All the good stuff was cut out.
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86. So you thought you would just climb
through my window...
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87. and we would
play bump-bump?
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88. I was kind of hoping
to get my balls licked,
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89. but I wouldn't wanna break
your little underwear rule,
now, would I?
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90. So maybe just some
on-top-of-the-clothes type stuff?
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91. Okay. But just for a minute.
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92. What the—
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93. Wrong set.
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94. Bobby! Oh, Bobby!
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95. I don't wanna wait
for our lives to be over
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96. - No, Bobby, don't.
- Ow!
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97. Jeez.
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98. Yeah, my dad.
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99. Okay, stud,
you have to go now.
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100. Oh, um,
about the sex stuff?
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101. I was only half serious.
I don't wanna rush you or anything.
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102. Hey, would you settle
for PG-13?
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103. What's that?
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104. Oh, jeez!
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105. — Good night, Bobby.
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106. Shorty, you are so loud.
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107. And make sure you take
your behind to class today.
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108. - I do be going to class.
- Lunch is not a class, Shorty.
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109. It is when you got
the munchies.
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110. - See, that's why
you such a dumb-ass.
- Your mother.
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111. You my brother.
That's your mother too, jackass.
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112. Oh, yeah.
Well, then, your fathers stupid.
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113. So? I don't know him.
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114. Yeah, me neither.
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115. - Hey, girl, you ready?
- Yeah, in a minute.
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116. - We're gonna be late.
- Wait. There's Buffy.
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117. I don't know why
you hang out with her.
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118. - She is such a ho.
- Why do you say that?
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119. Cause I've seen her.
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120. - My friend Sean
had a pool party this summer.
- Sean?
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121. You know, Puff Daddy?
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122. Anyway, everybody was drinking
Cristal champagne.
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123. And then it started to
get wild, and people
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124. were getting freaky in
the pool and stuff.
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125. I look over and there was
your girl getting buck wild
in the Jacuzzi.
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126. So?
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127. With a backup dancer.
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128. I mean, that's nasty.
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129. That's-That's lower
than the security guard.
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130. At least security can get you backstage.
She don't love herself.
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131. - Bye, Daddy.
- I don't know. II think
Buffy's sweet, Brenda.
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132. She is as fake
as Press-onnails.
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133. Hey, baby girl!
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134. What is up,
my sister?
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135. - Bye, Mr. Gilmore.
- Bye!
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136. - Is he gone?
- Yep.
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137. Do you like what you see
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138. It's all about the money
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139. Hey, Cindy!
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140. - I love this color.
- Let me see that.
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141. - Oh, you guys should
not use this brand.
- Why not?
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142. - Because they test
their products on animals.
- So?
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143. Look, have you seen what they do
to those poor animals?
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144. Well, I am much more
of a people person.
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145. I'd like to feed all the hungry,
little children of the world.
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146. I'd much rather help my fellow man
than some animal.
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147. - Spare a dollar?
- Get away from me, you bum!
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148. Buffy! Can't you see
he's just hungry?
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149. Here you go, sir.
A nice sandwich.
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150. - See?
- I said a dollar, bitch!
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151. Ow!
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152. God.
Look at this place.
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153. It's a circus.
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154. Hello. I'm Gail Hailstorm, author of
the book, You're Dead, I'm Rich.
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155. A small college town
is in shock...
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156. after the unthinkable
has happened:
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157. a brutal killing spree
that left one teen dead—
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158. That's it. Two teens dead...
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159. and this small town
shaken and stirred.
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160. - Its times like these—
- Police are combing
the area for clues.
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161. There are no witnesses
available at this time.
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162. There are no suspects
in custody.
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163. Police are asking anyone
to come forward.
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164. Reporting live for Black TV.
White folks are
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165. dead and we're getting
the fuck out of here!
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166. Grab your shit
and lets go, motherfucker!
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167. Hey, do you think the press is gonna
wanna talk to us?
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168. Oh, girl, no. The press
only wants to interview
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169. the most ignorant
person they can find.
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170. I'm on TV! Oh, shit!
First Cops, now this!
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171. Oh, man, I'm gonna be
a star, son!
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172. - What can you tell us about Drew?
- Well, she had the fat ass.
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173. - I mean, it was like bang!
- How close were you to the victim?
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174. Real close.
Until the roofies wore off.
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175. Then she woke up talking about
pressing charges.
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176. So I just pulled my tongue
out of her ass and left.
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177. What would have been
your last words to Drew?
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178. Run, bitch! Run!
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179. Hey, yo, dawg.
Does this shirt make me look gay?
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180. No, man.
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181. What about now?
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182. - Nah. Yeah.
- Cool?
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183. Here. Take one, guys.
elections Tuesday.
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184. election's Tuesday.
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185. Ah! Goddamn it!
Son of a bitch!
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186. What's the matter, honey?
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187. My report card.
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188. Well, at least
you got one A.
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189. Yeah. I did, huh?
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190. You're so smart.
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191. - Hey, has anybody seen Bobby?
- Nah.
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192. You know what?
That kid is always late.
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193. I don't get it.
He lives so close.
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194. See you later,
Hairy Mama, Bubba, Jim,
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195. Big Jim, Little Jim,
Slim Jim, everybody.
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196. I'll see you later. Ciao, Ding.
All right.
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197. Damn, girl.
Mm-mm-mm.
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198. - I'd sure like to get in them pants.
- Really?
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199. Yeah. What size are these?
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200. Hey, guys.
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201. - Hey, Bobby.
- Hey, baby.
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202. - How you doing?
- Good.
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203. - You guys see all
the reporters out there?
- Yeah.
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204. Saying that girl Drew Decker
got killed last night.
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205. - You know what? I think I knew her.
- Really?
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206. - She had a brother named Steve?
- Yeah.
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207. Long hair, pretty little mouth,
perfect ass?
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208. - That was her.
- Nah, I was talking about Steve.
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209. Whatever happened
to him?
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210. Do you guys think its strange
that she got killed...
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211. exactly one year
after we,
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212. you know,
killed that guy?
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213. Hey, Cindy,
that was an accident.
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214. Was it, Greg?
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215. Yeah!
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216. Would you look
at what they're doing?
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217. When are we gonna do
stuff like that, huh?
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218. One day.
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219. - You like that, baby?
- Yeah, that's different.
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220. - You like that?
- Oh, I love that.
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221. Oh, I love
when you play with my ass.
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222. I'm not playing
with your ass.
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223. - Ray!
- Oh, my bad.
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224. Come on, man!
Hey, Bobby, put on some music.
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225. Hold on.
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226. Here. Put this on.
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227. - It's raining men
- Yeah, that's the shit
right here!
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228. - Hallelujah
- Its raining men
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229. - Baby.
- Amen
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230. - I'm gonna go out
I'm gonna let myself get
- What? It's a classic.
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231. - Absolutely soakin wet
- Put on the radio, man.
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232. Yeah! Whoo!
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233. - What? It was laundry day.
- What the fuck is—
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234. Yeah!
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235. Whoo! Yeah!
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236. - Hey. Come over here.
- What?
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237. - Just get a little closer to me.
- Something you're gonna tell me?
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238. — Bobby, what are you doing?
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239. I just want you to touch it.
Just touch it. Come on.
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240. - Uh—
- Just a little bit. Come on.
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241. Whoo!
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242. - Ow!
- Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.
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243. Oh, my God! Shit!
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244. God, Cindy—
Oh, shit!
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245. - Oh, my God.
- What was that?
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246. I think
we hit something.
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247. Oh, man!
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248. Bobby, look at my car, man!
My dads gonna freak!
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249. I didn't see it.
It came out of nowhere.
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250. - Oh, my God, we hit a boot.
- Where's the foot?
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251. I don't know.
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252. Where the—
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253. Its a body!
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254. - Oh, shit, is he alive?
- I don't know.
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255. - Well, check it out.
- I cant.
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256. - Shit!
- We have to call the police.
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257. - No way. I ain't going to jail.
- We have to!
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258. Cindy, do you know what they do
to young boys in prison?
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259. And all those sex-starved
convicts just
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260. waiting for a fresh
piece of meat.
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261. Hey, you're right, Cindy.
Maybe we should call the police.
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262. Oh, yeah, That's a great idea, Ray.
But what about Brenda, huh?
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263. You think she wants
to go to jail?
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264. This is manslaughter, okay?
We're all gonna fry for this.
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265. - We're looking at 10 to 15 years.
- Shut up, Bobby!
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266. - Its okay. I'm fine.
- Alcohol all over.
- We're in so much trouble.
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267. - I'm fine.
- -Don't blame that shit on me, Ray.
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268. - Look, well get rid of the body.
- Unnecessary.
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269. - Now you're thinking.
- We'll dump him in the ocean.
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270. Not the ocean, the pier.
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271. - Guess I'll be leaving now.
- That's a great idea.
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272. - What about the alcohol?
- Well get rid of it.
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273. Come on. It'll be all right.
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274. - Come on. Hurry up. Lets go.
- Put him in the trunk.
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275. - I wont have anything to do with this!
- Shut up!
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276. Cindy, come on.
Well just pretend it never happened.
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277. You know, like the time we got drunk
and we went down on each other.
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278. - I'll get his arm.
- I'll grab. I'll grab his other arm.
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279. I'll grab his ass.
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280. Well take him down to Williamson Cove
and we'll dump him in there.
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281. The sharks'll take care
of the evidence.
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282. Oh, my God,
someone's coming.
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283. - Oh, shit. Its Shorty.
- Brenda, take care of him.
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284. Shorty, I know you ain't driving
without no papers.
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285. I got papers,
blunts, bongs,
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286. all the ingredients
to make a high niggard pie.
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287. - Hey, yo, can I help you?
- Yo, what's up, Ray?
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288. - Yo, son, you all need jumper cables?
- Nah, we're cool.
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289. Oh, good, cause I left
my roach clip at home.
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290. - Go home, Shorty.
- Yeah, I-I'll see you later.
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291. Peace, Ray.
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292. - Get the trunk closed.
- It won't close.
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293. I'll do it.
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294. Hold on. Hold on. Put him down.
He's heavy. Oh, God.
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295. Okay, look. On three we dump him
over the ledge.
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296. Wait, wait, wait.
Shouldn't we at least check his wallet?
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297. - For what?
- Shit, he might have some money.
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298. We already committed murder.
We might as well rob his ass.
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299. I'll take the credit cards.
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300. - I want his jewelry.
- I'm gonna take his drawers.
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301. Get off! Hey, yo, get off!
His drawers are mine! Yo!
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302. - I got me a gold ring.
- Credit cards.
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303. - All right, lets get him in the water.
- I don't think I can, Greg.
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304. - Its not too late.
- Shut up, okay?
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305. - Christ, already. I'll do it.
- Just get him in the water.
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306. Okay. One, two,
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307. three.
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308. Right now we make a pact.
We take this to our grave.
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309. - Agreed?
- Agreed.
- Agreed.
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310. - Agreed?
- Agreed.
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311. Say it, Cindy. Say it!
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312. We take this to our grave. Say it!
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313. We take this to our grave. Say it.
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314. Greg, chill. Come on.
You're hurting her.
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315. We take this
to our grave. Ow.
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316. And we never
mention this again.
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317. Mention what?
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318. - The guy we just killed.
- Well, you just mentioned it, Greg.
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319. Starting now!
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320. Stupid bitch, man.
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321. - God. I hate him.
- Its gonna be okay, baby.
It's gonna be okay.
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322. I promise. Just touch it again.
Come on. Please.
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323. - You have to move on, Cindy.
That's all behind us now.
- Exactly.
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324. - Its a coincidence.
- Gregss right, Cindy.
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325. I mean, what do you think
we're in, a horror movie?
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326. Yeah, you guys are right.
If we were,
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327. they'd probably cast
some dingbat like
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328. Jennifer Love Huge
Tits to play me.
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329. Yeah, or they'd cast
people in their late
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330. twenties, early
thirties to play us.
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331. — Kenny, get the camera ready.
Here. Hold my gum.
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332. - Sheriff, Sheriff,
can I get a statement?
- No comment.
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333. Damn. Who do I have to screw around here
to get a stupid story?
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334. Hey! Hey, no running.
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335. Loser.
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336. - Slow it down!
- Blow me!
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337. All right!
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338. Hi. Gail Hailstorm.
Field Reporter, Hard Story.
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339. Special Officer Doofy.
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340. Oh, hi, Doofy. Doofy, listen.
Is there a problem on campus?
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341. - No comment. No comment.
- Okay. Okay.
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342. You know, you look awfully young
to be a police officer.
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343. - I'm 25 and a half years old.
- Ooh!
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344. - Yeah, that's this many.
- Ah, so big.
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345. Yeah. That's big.
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346. Well, you don't look
a day over 12.
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347. Except for the big head
and glazed-over look in your eyes.
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348. - Ooh, was that drool?
- Yeah. I forgot to swallow.
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349. Don't worry,
cause I never forget.
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350. - Would you remind me
not to do that again?
- Sorry.
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351. Due to the recent tragedy, the sheriff
and me, your principal,
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352. will be questioning all students
throughout the day.
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353. Wow. Sounds like we've got the makings
of a serial killer on our hands.
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354. Yeah, I'm not supposed to say.
It's official police business.
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355. Hey, Doofy, what do you say you and I
go inside my van over there...
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356. and, uh, get to know
each other a little better?
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357. - Would you like that?
Yeah, that van right there.
- That van?
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358. Yeah.
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359. - Yeah, okay, lets go. Come on.
- Oh!
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360. A terrible tragedy
and an unbearable loss.
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361. Its days like today
that we need prayer in school.
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362. It starts to unravel
the very moral fabric
of our society.
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363. Here you go, baby.
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364. Go to your daddy.
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365. Oh!
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366. I'll see you after class.
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367. - Sweet!
- All right!
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368. Okay, class, who would like to give
their oral presentation first?
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369. - Oh!
- Anybody?
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370. - Yes!
- Anybody else?
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371. Okay, Heather.
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372. - Okay. Can I start?
- Yeah.
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373. Okay, my presentation
is on the First Amendment.
Copy !req
374. And it began on May 25, 1787 in Philly
with George Washington.
Copy !req
375. And it states, and I quote,
Copy !req
376. When our Founding
Fathers argued the
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377. passage of our glorious
Constitution—
Copy !req
378. The First Amendment gives us the right
to say what we want—
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379. Oh, shut the fuck up!
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380. So, who's next?
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381. Uh, Cindy Campbell.
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382. Isn't she the daughter
of, well, you know—
Copy !req
383. - Oh, yeah, you know, old Mrs., uh—
- Old Mrs. —
Copy !req
384. Yeah. Yeah,
the one and only—
Copy !req
385. The one and only.
Copy !req
386. - Why, hello, Cindy.
- Hi, Principal Seuiggman.
Copy !req
387. - Thanks, Doofy.
- Its Special Officer Doofy today,
Cindy.
Copy !req
388. Now, Cindy, Sheriff
has some questions
Copy !req
389. that he would like
to ask you today.
Copy !req
390. - What is that... god-awful smell?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
391. I got a poopie.
Copy !req
392. Did you just say
that you went poopie?
Copy !req
393. - Yeah. It was good.
- Mm.
Copy !req
394. - Get him out of here.
- Yes.
Copy !req
395. - Thank you, Doofy.
- Okay.
Copy !req
396. You should now go back
to Special Ed.
Copy !req
397. - Okay. Salute.
- Maybe a change of underwear, son.
Copy !req
398. - Bye, Doofy.
- Bye, Cindy.
Copy !req
399. - How are you, Cindy?
- Fine.
Copy !req
400. - How are you, Sheriff?
- Bloated, constipated.
Copy !req
401. Got a boil on my ass
the size of a walnut.
You know, the usual.
Copy !req
402. Cindy, I want to ask you
some questions about Drew Decker.
Copy !req
403. - I didn't really know her.
- Oh, come on. Sure you do.
Copy !req
404. No. I mean,
I didn't really know her.
Copy !req
405. I've been in this game a long time.
Don't bullshit a bullshitter.
Copy !req
406. Tell me about Drew. What
was she like in bed, Cindy?
Copy !req
407. Tried to get you.
Its an old police trick.
Copy !req
408. Its an old police trick.
You didn't fall for it.
Good for you, kid.
Copy !req
409. Hike!
Copy !req
410. Pass! Pass!
Copy !req
411. — All right, shower up!
Copy !req
412. Yes!
Copy !req
413. Yo, Dugan, man,
nice play, yo. Word up.
Copy !req
414. Johnson, what a block, baby.
Copy !req
415. Word up. Woodward. Nice ass.
Copy !req
416. Damn.
Copy !req
417. Yo, Greg, what's up?
You gonna hit the showers or what?
Copy !req
418. No, man. I think I'm gonna work out,
beat the bag a little.
Copy !req
419. Suit yourself, kid. All right.
Last one in the showers a rotten egg!
Copy !req
420. Come on, yall!
I'm gonna get you all!
Copy !req
421. Don't let Uncle Ray catch you!
Copy !req
422. Who did this? Huh?
Where are you?
Copy !req
423. This isn't funny, all right?
Copy !req
424. A small dicks like a disability, man!
Copy !req
425. Would you make fun of a guy
in a wheelchair? Huh? Would you?
Copy !req
426. Come on out here,
you sick fuck!
Copy !req
427. I'll kick the shit
out of you right now! All right?
Copy !req
428. Its not the size
of the hammer,
Copy !req
429. its the nail
you're throwing it at!
Copy !req
430. It's a shame how she died.
Copy !req
431. She was such a nice girl.
Copy !req
432. Yeah, she used to
baby-sit my brother Doofy.
Copy !req
433. - He had the biggest crush on her.
- Ray, you're a dead man.
Copy !req
434. Hey, hey, hey, hey,
hey, hey, hey, hey.
Copy !req
435. You wanna get
butt-naked and wrestle?
Copy !req
436. - Bring it on, Ray!
- Hold my earrings. Where's my Vaseline?
Copy !req
437. - Take it easy. What's the problem?
- I'll show you the problem.
Copy !req
438. Oh— That's you?
Copy !req
439. They— They turned the hot water off
in the showers, all right?
Copy !req
440. Laugh it up, you guys.
Big laugh.
Copy !req
441. You know what?
You can all go to hell!
Copy !req
442. Greg, you're not the only one
who got one.
Copy !req
443. Oh, you mean
Bobby's got a baby dick too?
Copy !req
444. No. I was talking
about the note.
Copy !req
445. I got one too.
Copy !req
446. - Somebody knows.
- That's bullshit, Cindy.
Copy !req
447. Someone just trying
to fuck with us.
Copy !req
448. We have to call
the police, Greg.
Copy !req
449. You call the police,
and I'll kill you myself.
Copy !req
450. - You're hurting her, man.
- And you know what?
Copy !req
451. That goes for all of you guys.
Copy !req
452. That psycho wants
a piece of me, bring it on.
Copy !req
453. But I'm not going to jail.
You got that?
Copy !req
454. What's everybody
talking about?
Copy !req
455. Just forget it, Shorty.
You already know too much.
Copy !req
456. — Aren't they beautiful?
Copy !req
457. - Buffy!
- Contestant number one!
Copy !req
458. Very good.
And contestant number two.
Copy !req
459. Very good.
And contestant number three.
Copy !req
460. Buffy! That's my girl!
Copy !req
461. - That's my girlfriend!
- Yeah, that's my girlfriend too!
Copy !req
462. - Hey, kiss my ass!
- Yeah, I'm hitting that too!
Copy !req
463. - All right, Buffy!
- Hey, shut the hell up, man!
Copy !req
464. - The best pussy I ever had!
- What, you want a piece of me?
Copy !req
465. Now the talent portion
of the competition.
Copy !req
466. Oh, you guys, I'm gonna
go downstairs for
Copy !req
467. a closer seat. See
you after the show.
Copy !req
468. Number three, Buffy Gilmore.
Copy !req
469. Hey, you know what? I'm
gonna go hit the head.
Copy !req
470. You want me to bring
you back anything?
Copy !req
471. No, no, no. I'm good, man.
But hurry back. She's gonna perform.
Copy !req
472. - Don't worry. I'll be back.
- Good evening, Buffy.
Copy !req
473. And what will be
your talent for this evening?
Copy !req
474. Acting. I'll be doing
a dramatic reading.
Copy !req
475. Yeah, yeah!
Copy !req
476. Buffy Gilmore
doing a dramatic reading.
Copy !req
477. Hey, do that thing from Baywatch!
She's running down the beach!
Copy !req
478. Look out, Greg!
Look behind you!
Copy !req
479. - Its him! It's the killer!
- Huh?
Copy !req
480. Oh, my God!
Somebody do something!
Copy !req
481. Somebody do something!
Copy !req
482. He's killing him!
Copy !req
483. - He's killing him!
- Must be an original piece.
Copy !req
484. He's killing him!
Copy !req
485. She's good. She's good.
Copy !req
486. - What's wrong with you people?
- That's fantastic.
Copy !req
487. You fucking bastards!
Why won't anyone help?
Copy !req
488. - Amazing.
- She's the next Pamela Lee.
Copy !req
489. Oh, God!
Oh, God! Don't!
Copy !req
490. Greg, hold on!
Copy !req
491. Give it up for Buffy Gilmore!
Beautiful.
Copy !req
492. Absolutely fantastic.
Copy !req
493. I think we have a winner,
ladies and gentlemen.
Miss Buffy Gilmore!
Copy !req
494. Buffy, wait.
You have to go back onstage.
Copy !req
495. - No. I have to get to Greg.
- But you won!
Copy !req
496. - They're calling your name.
- There's a killer—
Copy !req
497. - I won?
- They're calling your name. Go.
Copy !req
498. - Buffy, what happened? What about Greg?
- Oh, fuck Greg. I won.
Copy !req
499. - Congratulations!
- Oh, out of my way, loser!
Copy !req
500. Miss Buffy Gilmore!
Copy !req
501. Here she comes
Copy !req
502. Miss Teen She's So Fine
Copy !req
503. - Such lovely tits
- Give me my crown, bitch.
Copy !req
504. And a great behind
Copy !req
505. There she is
Doggy style anytime
Copy !req
506. And I'll do her behind
behind and behind
Copy !req
507. Oh, there she is
Copy !req
508. She loves 69
Copy !req
509. There's no sign
of him anywhere.
Copy !req
510. - He could've taken the body.
- That's impossible, Cindy.
Copy !req
511. - There's no blood. There's nothing.
- Look around.
Copy !req
512. I'll bet it's just
Greg playing...
Copy !req
513. another one of his dumb jokes.
Copy !req
514. He's gonna turn up. I'm sure of it.
He's
Copy !req
515. probably at my house
waiting for us right now,
Copy !req
516. - you guys.
- All right, fine.
Copy !req
517. But you know what?
I'm gonna look around some more, so—
Copy !req
518. - You mind catching
a ride home with Buffy?
- Yeah, no problem.
Copy !req
519. - All right, fine.
- Call me later.
Copy !req
520. - Hello.
- Hello, Cindy.
Copy !req
521. - Who is this?
- Its me, Bobby.
Copy !req
522. You know, your boyfriend.
Copy !req
523. Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess
I'm a little jumpy lately.
Copy !req
524. - Hey, any sign of Greg?
- No.
Copy !req
525. - Do you want me to come by?
- No.
Copy !req
526. I'm just gonna take a bath,
and then I'm gonna go to bed.
Copy !req
527. Okay. I'd really like
to see you, but— I love you.
Copy !req
528. Aw. I love you too, baby.
Copy !req
529. Bobby, I told you—
Copy !req
530. I still know
what you did last Halloween.
Copy !req
531. Who is this?
Copy !req
532. Ow! Ow!
Copy !req
533. - Hello.
- I'm gonna kill you.
Copy !req
534. - I'm gonna slice you up.
- Who is this?
Copy !req
535. - I'm gonna chop you like liver.
- What do you want?
Copy !req
536. I'm in the house.
Copy !req
537. Do you know where I am?
Copy !req
538. I could be anywhere.
I'm like the wind, baby.
Copy !req
539. Yeah. Where am I?
Copy !req
540. Um, you're-you're
behind the couch.
Copy !req
541. What? How do you know that?
Copy !req
542. I can, um, see your feet.
Copy !req
543. Ah! Okay, turn around.
Copy !req
544. Close your eyes.
No peeking.
Copy !req
545. Yeah. No. No. No.
Copy !req
546. Hey, no peeking.
No peeking. Turn around.
Copy !req
547. Good.
Copy !req
548. Okay, now you look.
Copy !req
549. Now do you know
where I am? You don't.
Copy !req
550. No, Mr. Killer.
I don't know where you are.
Copy !req
551. I'll give you a big clue.
Copy !req
552. Oh! I gotta stop drinking.
Copy !req
553. - Grandma!
- Ow, baby!
Copy !req
554. Oh, my hip!
Copy !req
555. White woman in trouble off the 744—
Copy !req
556. Are you okay? I heard screaming.
What's going on?
Copy !req
557. - Bobby, he was here.
- Shh.
Copy !req
558. - The killer was here, Bobby.
- Its okay.
Copy !req
559. - I can explain that.
- Oh, my God.
Copy !req
560. A friend gave 'em to me.
Cindy. Cindy.
Copy !req
561. Cindy. Cindy!
Copy !req
562. Cindy! Cindy! Cindy!
Copy !req
563. Its me, Cindy.
Copy !req
564. Cindy, you know me. Cindy.
Copy !req
565. I know you've had a rough night, Cindy,
so I won't keep you.
Copy !req
566. I just want you to look at some photos.
Tell me what you think.
Copy !req
567. Mm-mmm.
Copy !req
568. - No?
- No.
Copy !req
569. - I'm sorry, Sheriff.
- You sure?
Copy !req
570. Okay, you're free to go.
Do you have somebody picking you up?
Copy !req
571. - Yeah.
- Oh. Just—
Copy !req
572. Just check
that one out again.
Copy !req
573. - Mm, no.
- No? No? Well, worth a shot.
All right, thanks.
Copy !req
574. Guess what I just did with
those hookers we busted.
Copy !req
575. No way.
Copy !req
576. All the way, man! Yes, yes.
Watch this. Doofy!
Copy !req
577. - Yeah?
- Come on. Come on.
Copy !req
578. Okay.
Copy !req
579. Special Officer Doofy
reporting.
Copy !req
580. Hey, Doofy,
smell my fingers.
Copy !req
581. - What's that?
- That's when you know
you've become a man, Doofy!
Copy !req
582. Hey, Terry,
smell my finger.
Copy !req
583. - What the hell is that?
- My ass.
Copy !req
584. - Get the hell
out of here, Doofy.
- Doofy.
Copy !req
585. - Mom said get home now.
- Tell Mom I'm on official
police business.
Copy !req
586. - Cindy, are you okay?
- Hey, hey, hey.
No talking to the witness.
Copy !req
587. - Go get in the car, Doofy.
She's coming with us.
- Does Mom know?
Copy !req
588. - Yeah, Doofus.
- Mom says when I wear this badge,
Copy !req
589. you're supposed to treat me
like a man of the law.
Copy !req
590. Mom also said for you
to stop sticking your dick
in the vacuum cleaner.
Copy !req
591. Oh!
Oh!
Copy !req
592. Okay, three, two—
Copy !req
593. - Oh, no. Gosh darn.
- What now?
Copy !req
594. It's just that there's all
these numbers with deci—
Copy !req
595. What, can't you count?
Copy !req
596. - No, I can count,
but there's really—
- Let me make it easy for you.
Copy !req
597. This little piggy went to the market.
This little piggy stayed home.
Copy !req
598. Now, if this little piggy doesn't roll
the goddamn camera—
Copy !req
599. - I'm gonna put my foot
up his fuckin' ass—
- We're live, Gail.
Copy !req
600. Gail Hailstorm standing out front
of the police station...
Copy !req
601. where I'm going to try and get a glimpse
of Cindy Campbell,
Copy !req
602. the young girl who was attacked
earlier this evening.
Copy !req
603. - You're on my foot, fat shit!
- Sorry, G—
Copy !req
604. - What did I say?
- Don't ever step
on Gail's shoes.
Copy !req
605. - Why not?
- Because Gail wears Prada shoes.
Copy !req
606. - You idiot.
- I'm a bad man.
Copy !req
607. Cindy! Cindy!
Copy !req
608. - Cindy, can we get a statement?
- Buffy Gilmore, Miss Teen.
Copy !req
609. - She's not talking.
- Is it true the police
have someone in custody?
Copy !req
610. - Come on, Cindy.
- Cindy, your ass looks fat!
Copy !req
611. Bitch!
Copy !req
612. - Good shot.
- Come on.
Copy !req
613. - All right, who copped a feel?
- Gail, it was me.
Copy !req
614. - Oh, my God.
- It was an accident, Gail.
Copy !req
615. I only touched it,
the top of the breast.
Copy !req
616. - It was so tender and juicy.
- Shut up!
Copy !req
617. - Yo.
- Hello, Shorty. What are you doing?
Copy !req
618. Nothin'. Sittin' here watchin' the game.
Smokin' some bud.
Copy !req
619. Are you all alone?
Copy !req
620. - Was sup?
- Was sup?
Copy !req
621. What the—
Who's that?
Copy !req
622. Yo, pick up the phone.
Copy !req
623. - Was sup?
- Was sup?
Copy !req
624. Yo, Dookie,
pick up the phone!
Copy !req
625. - Yo.
- Was sup?
Copy !req
626. - What you doin', son?
- Nothin'... Just chillin'... killin'...
Copy !req
627. True. True.
Copy !req
628. So you think
Bobby did it?
Copy !req
629. I don't know.
But he was there, Buffy.
Copy !req
630. I knew there had to be something.
He just too perfect.
Copy !req
631. Handsome, smart,
good in bed.
Copy !req
632. - What did you say?
- Uh—
Copy !req
633. Hey, Cindy.
Got your ice pack for your hand.
Copy !req
634. - Ow!
- Sorry.
Copy !req
635. I'll get you one for your head.
Copy !req
636. No, no, that's okay, Doofy.
Copy !req
637. Hey, we are gonna get that guy
you dumped in the water. Yeah.
Copy !req
638. I'll be next door
if you need me.
Copy !req
639. Night, Cindy.
Copy !req
640. Buffy, you told him?
Copy !req
641. The moron overheard a conversation
Greg and I were having.
Copy !req
642. - Yeah, but what
if he says something?
- Who's gonna believe...
Copy !req
643. a retarded retard
like him anyway?
Copy !req
644. Cindy, telephone.
Copy !req
645. Thank you.
Copy !req
646. - Hello.
- Hello, Cindy.
Copy !req
647. - Guess what.
- No!
Copy !req
648. - You got the wrong guy.
- No!
Copy !req
649. - Doofy!
- Its not Bobby.
Copy !req
650. Who is this?
Copy !req
651. - Doofy! Doofy!
- Oh, my God.
Copy !req
652. Hello?
Copy !req
653. I said don't disturb me
while I'm cleaning my room!
Copy !req
654. I heard Bobby got out
this morning.
Copy !req
655. I haven't seen him around.
Is he pissed?
Copy !req
656. You mean since
you branded him the Candy man?
No. His heart is broken.
Copy !req
657. Yo, son. Its like
I seen this all before.
Copy !req
658. They had a killer at
your old high school, Shorty?
Copy !req
659. No, it was in this movie Scream.
Copy !req
660. Same dialogue and everything.
This is ill.
Copy !req
661. - How did it end?
- I don't know.
Copy !req
662. Some niggas started
shooting up in the
Copy !req
663. movie theater, so
we just broke out.
Copy !req
664. - No doubt.
- Okay, I say we all
just stick together.
Copy !req
665. Tonight everyone
meet at my house.
Copy !req
666. And bring some friends.
But don't tell everyone.
Copy !req
667. Try to keep it quiet.
Copy !req
668. Okay.
Copy !req
669. Yo! Party at Cindy's house!
Drunk white women for everybody!
Copy !req
670. Ray, if you see Bobby,
tell him I love him.
Copy !req
671. Okay. If I see Bobby,
I'll tell him I love him.
Copy !req
672. - Jesus!
- Its okay. It's all right.
It's just me, baby.
Copy !req
673. - What, you don't still
think It's me, do you?
- No.
Copy !req
674. It's just that somebody
did try to kill me.
Copy !req
675. And the police said
I scared him away.
Copy !req
676. I know. He called
me last night.
Copy !req
677. You see, it couldn't have been me.
I was in jail last night. Remember?
Copy !req
678. You're the best.
Copy !req
679. I'm sorry.
Please understand.
Copy !req
680. Understand what? That
my girlfriend would
Copy !req
681. rather call me a
killer than touch me?
Copy !req
682. - That's not true, Bobby.
- Then what is it?
Copy !req
683. What is it?
She's gone and she's not coming back.
Copy !req
684. Its been over a year, Cindy.
Copy !req
685. But Ginger was such an important
part of the Spice Girls.
Copy !req
686. - Oh, you gotta move on, baby.
- Oh!
Copy !req
687. I'm sorry if my complicated life...
Copy !req
688. is an inconvenience
to your perfect existence.
Copy !req
689. Cindy. Cindy.
Copy !req
690. Okay, everybody, listen up.
Copy !req
691. Let me just say, uh,
Copy !req
692. the killing of these teenagers
has been tragic, but, uh—
Copy !req
693. Hey, you know, shit happens.
Copy !req
694. Sheriff! Sheriff!
Copy !req
695. - Yes, Miss Thunderstorm.
- Have they found
Cindy Campbell's father?
Copy !req
696. - No.
- Isn't he a suspect?
Copy !req
697. That is classified information.
Where are you getting that?
Copy !req
698. I'm sorry, but my sources
are strictly confidential, Sheriff.
Copy !req
699. Hey, Gail.
Copy !req
700. Gail swallows.
Copy !req
701. Watch this.
Copy !req
702. Hello. Who is this?
Copy !req
703. What?
Copy !req
704. You wanna kill me?
Copy !req
705. Oh, God. Hold on.
Copy !req
706. Cindy, its for you.
Copy !req
707. All right,
knock it off, Buffy.
Copy !req
708. Now, as you all have heard,
there is a killer in town...
Copy !req
709. and the police have asked us to give you
the following safety tips.
Copy !req
710. Stay in well-lit areas.
Copy !req
711. Do not travel alone
whenever possible.
Copy !req
712. Always wipe front to back.
Copy !req
713. And remember, never, ever
believe someone...
Copy !req
714. when they tell you
that shaving your pubic hair...
Copy !req
715. will rid you
of crab infestation.
Copy !req
716. Now, I understand
this is a difficult time
for you young ladies.
Copy !req
717. So if anyone needs
to come to my office to talk,
Copy !req
718. I am here for you.
Copy !req
719. - What a crock of shit.
- It's not, Buffy!
Copy !req
720. He's real!
Copy !req
721. Miss Mann?
Copy !req
722. Come in, dear. Have a seat.
Take off your bra if you'd like.
Copy !req
723. No, thanks.
Copy !req
724. What can I do for you,
Cindy?
Copy !req
725. I need to talk.
See, I have this problem...
Copy !req
726. and I don't know
who to tell.
Copy !req
727. - Not feeling so fresh?
- Huh?
Copy !req
728. Feminine odor and itching
got you down?
Copy !req
729. Uh, no. No, not that.
Copy !req
730. Then what is it?
Copy !req
731. I have a terrible secret.
Copy !req
732. Well, Cindy, we all have
our little secrets.
Copy !req
733. Sometimes we do things
we're not so proud of.
Copy !req
734. Some for money,
Copy !req
735. others to gain the athletic edge
on the competition.
Copy !req
736. Sometimes those secrets
come back to haunt us.
Copy !req
737. - Aah!
- Do you know what I mean?
Copy !req
738. Yes, I do, um, Miss Mann.
Thanks for ball—
Copy !req
739. I mean, all your help.
I have to go to class.
Copy !req
740. Anytime, dear.
Copy !req
741. - Buffy, are you coming?
- I'll catch up with you guys in a sec.
Copy !req
742. Redrum.
Copy !req
743. Hello?
Copy !req
744. Somebody there?
Copy !req
745. Hello!
Copy !req
746. Very funny.
Copy !req
747. Who put you up
to this, Cindy?
Copy !req
748. Lose the cape.
Its way too '90s horror.
Copy !req
749. Oh, so what movie is this from,
Die, Cheerleader, Die?
Copy !req
750. Wanna play psycho killer?
Can I be the helpless cheerleader?
Copy !req
751. Oh, so this is where
I'm supposed to beg for my life?
Copy !req
752. Please, Mr. Killer,
don't kill me.
Copy !req
753. So is this where
I'm supposed to bleed?
Copy !req
754. Oh, look,
I'm bleeding!
Copy !req
755. Oh, yeah,
I'm supposed to run, right?
Copy !req
756. Okay. I'm running!
I'm running! Help!
Copy !req
757. Help! Now I'm gonna fall
and break my leg, leaving me helpless.
Copy !req
758. Aah!
Copy !req
759. There you go, Mr. Scary Killer.
I'm panicking now.
Copy !req
760. Oh, God!
Somebody please help me!
Copy !req
761. Oh, God, no!
Copy !req
762. No!
Copy !req
763. Oh, now what?
Copy !req
764. I guess this is the big climax.
Hope you don't mind if I fake it. Aah!
Copy !req
765. Oh, look at me.
I'm all dead.
Copy !req
766. I'm a gross, scary severed head.
Come on. Please.
Copy !req
767. Do you know who I am? I'm Miss Teen.
You're really giving me a headache.
Copy !req
768. And you got blood all
over my Gucci sweater.
Copy !req
769. I hope you're gonna
pay for that.
Copy !req
770. Ah! I will not be ignored
by the likes—
Copy !req
771. - I'm gonna jump!
- Phil, get back in there.
Copy !req
772. - No!
- What are you doing up there?
Copy !req
773. - Be reasonable.
- I cant take this fucking job...
Copy !req
774. or those greasy
shit head teenagers anymore!
Copy !req
775. - I'm going to end it all!
- Wait! Hold on!
We're getting help for you!
Copy !req
776. Now we know Bobby's not the killer.
So who is?
Copy !req
777. I don't know.
Copy !req
778. Well if the killer was
in your house last
Copy !req
779. night, why didn't he
just kill you then?
Copy !req
780. Because he's just
messing with us.
Copy !req
781. don't you see?
He's got us right where he wants us.
Copy !req
782. We cant go to the police.
He's just out
Copy !req
783. there watching us
and waiting for us.
Copy !req
784. What are you
waiting for, huh?
Copy !req
785. What are you waiting for?
Copy !req
786. What are you
waiting for?
Copy !req
787. What am I waiting for?
Copy !req
788. What am I waiting for?
What are you waiting for?
Copy !req
789. Fuck you!
Copy !req
790. Oh, my God.
Copy !req
791. Ray, I still don't think
this party is a good idea.
Copy !req
792. You know I'm not gonna
let nothin' happen to you.
Copy !req
793. I just don't feel right.
Copy !req
794. - Why cant we just
do something else?
- How about we go to the movies?
Copy !req
795. Huh? You like that?
See a little movie, huh?
Copy !req
796. - Hey! This is my song!
- Hey!
Copy !req
797. - You know they gave me
a shout-out on the album, right?
- What?
Copy !req
798. Everywhere I go
I see the same hos
Copy !req
799. Ooh, Brenda.
Copy !req
800. Did I tell you how sexy you look
in my jersey?
Copy !req
801. - I do, Ray?
- Yes.
Copy !req
802. I like it. Hey, get up.
Go over there. Let me see it.
Copy !req
803. Ooh! Yes, I like that.
Copy !req
804. - You like that? You like that?
- Yeah. Hey!
Copy !req
805. Hey, put this on with it.
Copy !req
806. - Ray, you are so freaky.
- That's right. You know
I'm freaky, girl.
Copy !req
807. Go on. Pull it.
Pull it up.
Copy !req
808. Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh, ah, ahh!
Copy !req
809. Yeah. Here. Put this on with it.
Copy !req
810. Go on.
Copy !req
811. - Are you sure?
- Go on, girl. Go on. Pull it on.
Copy !req
812. - Okay.
- Go on.
Copy !req
813. - I like that look.
- Ooh! I'm bad.
Copy !req
814. Here. Put this on with it.
Copy !req
815. Go on, girl. Put it on.
Copy !req
816. Yeah. Put that shit on there.
Come on. Just shove it on.
Copy !req
817. Do it. Yeah.
Ooh, so fucking sexy.
Copy !req
818. Come here, girl.
Bring your little sexy ass
over here. Come on!
Copy !req
819. Full speed. Charge!
Copy !req
820. Yes! Yes!
Come on! Turn around!
Copy !req
821. Turn around! Come on!
Copy !req
822. Yes, Brendan!
Take it, Brendan! Take it, Brendan!
Copy !req
823. - Who?
- Uh— Uh, Brenda.
Copy !req
824. Put the helmet on.
No, lets role-play.
Come on. You get me.
Copy !req
825. - Come on! Come on!
- Huh?
Copy !req
826. I'm here at Lovers Lookout.
Copy !req
827. Its dark,
It's in the middle of nowhere,
Copy !req
828. and its where hormone-driven teens
love to come and fool around.
Copy !req
829. So very likely we're about
to see someone get killed.
Copy !req
830. Okay, sure enough,
there's a girl in
Copy !req
831. that car, blouse
unbuttoned, all alone.
Copy !req
832. Lets see if she'll have
a word with us.
Copy !req
833. Hi. Gail Hailstorm,
author of the new book
You're Next.
Copy !req
834. - Oh, yeah.
- Can you tell us your name?
Copy !req
835. Well, my names Heather.
Copy !req
836. Can you tell us what you are
doing out here all alone?
Copy !req
837. Well, yeah, sure.
My boyfriend and I were
just, like, making out...
Copy !req
838. and then we heard a noise out there,
so he went to go check it,
Copy !req
839. but— well, that was,
like, ten minutes ago.
Copy !req
840. Yeah, yeah. Has it
crossed your little mind
Copy !req
841. that your boyfriend was
probably murdered...
Copy !req
842. and you're about
to be slaughtered next?
Copy !req
843. - Really? No way!
- Way.
Copy !req
844. - Heather, good luck.
- Okay, thanks, Gail. You're the best.
Copy !req
845. Just as I thought. The murder
is happening as we speak.
Copy !req
846. I'm going to try and break into
the bloodshed. Are you getting this?
Copy !req
847. Excuse me. Heather, can you tell us
what you're feeling, honey?
Copy !req
848. Lots of pain. Gail, please help me.
Gail, please!
Copy !req
849. I'd like to help you
out, kid, but it sweeps.
Copy !req
850. Sir, sir, can I get
a word with you?
Copy !req
851. You got a lot of nerve coming here.
I'm just trying to do my job.
Copy !req
852. - Get the camera off me now!
- You're dead, bitch!
Copy !req
853. No, Kenny, keep rolling!
Copy !req
854. I'm gonna slice your head off
and shove it up his ass.
Copy !req
855. Get that camera off me!
Copy !req
856. Oh, my God, Kenny!
Kenny, move your fat ass!
Copy !req
857. Kenny! Oh, my God,
he's right behind you!
Copy !req
858. This man is chasin' Miss Gail.
Copy !req
859. I'm so scared right now.
Copy !req
860. I just want to say...
Copy !req
861. to the family of my cameraman, Kenny,
Copy !req
862. I am so sorry.
Copy !req
863. This was my interview,
Copy !req
864. my story.
Copy !req
865. Its all my fault.
Copy !req
866. - You want some popcorn?
- Uh-uh. I brought me
a little snack of my own.
Copy !req
867. - You want some chicken?
- Nah.
Copy !req
868. Mm-hmm. For all yall
talkers up in here,
Copy !req
869. it's time to keep
it down right now.
Copy !req
870. Shh.
Copy !req
871. Shh, back at you. Shh!
Copy !req
872. Why they actin' already?
It ain't nothin' but the previews.
Copy !req
873. The largest ship
the world had ever known.
Copy !req
874. It's 400 passengers and crew on
a maiden voyage to a brave new world.
Copy !req
875. A journey that would change
their lives forever.
Copy !req
876. Whoo!
Copy !req
877. I'm the king of the world!
Whoo-hoo!
Copy !req
878. Get your ass
back down there, boy!
Copy !req
879. - I'm gonna go to
the bathroom real quick.
- The movie about to come on.
Copy !req
880. I gotta go to the bathroom.
Here. Take your hot sauce.
Copy !req
881. Hurry up, man.
Don't be long.
Copy !req
882. Back up!
Let him through!
Copy !req
883. You can move back some.
You don't own the theater.
Copy !req
884. —And they're off!
Copy !req
885. It's number three in the lead.
Number two close behind.
Copy !req
886. And number three
is the winner!
Copy !req
887. Number two has placed,
and number four to show.
Copy !req
888. Next weeks Triple Crown
starts at 2:30.
Copy !req
889. — Be here early.
Copy !req
890. Hey, who was that?
Copy !req
891. Go ahead.
Do it again. Do it again.
Copy !req
892. Anon.
Copy !req
893. Mm-mmm. Mm-mmm.
Copy !req
894. Mm-mmm!
Don't go in there!
Copy !req
895. Lord, I'm gonna have a heart attack!
Copy !req
896. Man, this is
some scary shit!
Copy !req
897. Oh, I am scared!
Copy !req
898. - Excuse me.
- I think I paid my money like
everybody else up in here.
Copy !req
899. - ... out of her favor—
- That ain't no man.
Copy !req
900. - You can see her real hair right there!
- Do you mind?
Copy !req
901. I know you better
get outta my face!
Copy !req
902. Outta my face!
Outta my face!
Copy !req
903. This is all me up in here.
You handle that.
Copy !req
904. - Will you shut the fuck up!
- Yeah!
Copy !req
905. Mmm, mmm.
This movie is good.
Copy !req
906. Hey, baby.
You came back just in time.
Copy !req
907. She's about to get it on
with Shakespeare.
Copy !req
908. - She dressing like a man—
- Shut up.
Copy !req
909. Yeah, I got you.
I got you on camera.
Copy !req
910. You on Candid Camera now.
Copy !req
911. You ain't know that.
Copy !req
912. Hello. Hey, girl.
Uh-uh. I'm in the movie.
Copy !req
913. Shakespeare In Love.
Uh-uh. Ooh! You lying.
Copy !req
914. For Christ's sake,
will you just shut your trap!
Copy !req
915. - Shut up!
- Hold on.
Copy !req
916. I don't know why you all
is actin' I like this.
Copy !req
917. My girlfriend already seen the movie.
She said
Copy !req
918. they don't even stay
together in the end.
Copy !req
919. Give me that.
Copy !req
920. Right on.
Copy !req
921. Will you sit down.
Copy !req
922. Shut up.
Copy !req
923. Your ass is grass.
Copy !req
924. - This is for Thelma!
- And Louise!
Copy !req
925. This is for talking
through The Fugitive!
Copy !req
926. - You ruined Schindlers List.
- Jackie Chan movies.
Copy !req
927. - Boogie Nights!
- And Big Mommas House!
Copy !req
928. Aaaaaahhhhh!
Copy !req
929. And I can not marry the daughter
of Sir Robert De Lesseps.
Copy !req
930. Um, you guys,
there's a few too many people.
Copy !req
931. Oh, honey, please don't throw—
Hey, you guys, stop.
Copy !req
932. Hey! Hey, please!
That's my dad!
Copy !req
933. - No, don't touch— Ah, no!
- Do you have more beer?
Copy !req
934. - Do you have more beer?
- Um, yeah. Uh, check in the garage.
Copy !req
935. No, no, no, no!
Don't!
Copy !req
936. Kitty, you scared me.
Copy !req
937. Horsey.
Oh, you scared me too.
Copy !req
938. Hello?
Who's there?
Copy !req
939. Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
Please, don't!
Copy !req
940. Please! I'm just a day player!
Copy !req
941. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
942. Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Copy !req
943. Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Copy !req
944. Yeah!
Copy !req
945. Oh, Bobby. Bobby.
I was worried about you.
Copy !req
946. I thought the killer got to you
before I could.
Copy !req
947. Could what?
Copy !req
948. I wanna go upstairs.
There's something I wanna show you.
Copy !req
949. - Yeah.
- Oh, yeah.
Copy !req
950. - Hey, party on!
- Yeah!
Copy !req
951. - So—
- So.
Copy !req
952. Here we are... again.
Copy !req
953. Yeah.
Copy !req
954. And, you know,
if you're not ready,
Copy !req
955. I'll understand.
Copy !req
956. Bobby.
Copy !req
957. I am ready.
Copy !req
958. - You are?
- Yeah.
Copy !req
959. I cant keep fighting
these urges.
Copy !req
960. I have to just
give in to them...
Copy !req
961. and let them flow.
Copy !req
962. Right.
Copy !req
963. - Bobby?
- Huh?
Copy !req
964. I have been so selfish.
Copy !req
965. This is like a scene
from a movie or something.
Copy !req
966. Only it isn't a movie, Bobby.
Copy !req
967. This is real life.
Copy !req
968. Its all a movie, baby.
Copy !req
969. There's the sound guy. There's
the script supervisor.
Copy !req
970. How you are doin'... baby?
Copy !req
971. - Bobby?
- What?
Copy !req
972. What I mean
is that in real life...
Copy !req
973. you have to enjoy
each moment.
Copy !req
974. Mmm! Ow!
Copy !req
975. Bobby.
Copy !req
976. Bobby!
Copy !req
977. Can I tell you a secret?
Copy !req
978. Sure, man.
Copy !req
979. I see dead people.
Copy !req
980. Man, this shit is awesome!
Copy !req
981. Yo, son, we gotta roll
some more of that shit!
Copy !req
982. Ah, shit!
Copy !req
983. We don't have
any more papers, man.
Copy !req
984. We don't have
any more papers.
Copy !req
985. Oh, man!
What can we use to make a bong?
Copy !req
986. Toke! Toke! Toke!
Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!
Copy !req
987. - Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!
Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!
- Yeah!
Copy !req
988. Oh, shit, son!
Copy !req
989. Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!
Toke! Toke! Toke! Toke!
Copy !req
990. This some good shit!
Copy !req
991. - Bobby! I've never done this before.
- What?
Copy !req
992. Its okay. It's okay.
Copy !req
993. It's just like—
It's like sucking on a Tootsie Roll Pop.
Copy !req
994. - A Tootsie Pop?
- Yeah, a cherry-flavor one.
Copy !req
995. - Oh.
- With the fudge in the middle?
Copy !req
996. Okay.
Copy !req
997. Show me now
Show me how
Copy !req
998. - How it feels when we're together
- Just like that.
Copy !req
999. - I'm afraid
if we wait
- Just like that, baby.
Copy !req
1000. - Well be waiting till forever
- Ah!
Copy !req
1001. Oh! Jesus!
Copy !req
1002. I never could wait
to get to the chewy middle.
Copy !req
1003. - You know what? Let me.
- Oh. Okay.
Copy !req
1004. Goddamn!
Copy !req
1005. I'm flyin' solo
but don't know if I can stop
Copy !req
1006. Don't ask me why
Don't make me lie
Copy !req
1007. Just kick back
just sit back
Copy !req
1008. Enjoy the ride
Copy !req
1009. Cause I'm a spaceman
Copy !req
1010. Guess its been a while.
Copy !req
1011. So stay with me
Copy !req
1012. Oh! Oops!
Copy !req
1013. Its very, uh, '70s of you.
Copy !req
1014. Oh, yeah.
Oh, Bobby!
Copy !req
1015. Come here, Bobby!
I want it now!
Copy !req
1016. Oh, man,
am I fuckin' stoned!
Copy !req
1017. Yeah, me too, son.
Copy !req
1018. Hey, you guys hear that?
Copy !req
1019. Oh!
Copy !req
1020. Shh!
Copy !req
1021. Hello?
Copy !req
1022. - Hello.
What's your favorite scary movie?
- Hello?
Copy !req
1023. Let me talk to her. Shh!
Copy !req
1024. I'm gonna gut you like a pig!
Copy !req
1025. Oh, yeah! Oh!
Copy !req
1026. Yeah! What's my name, Bobby?
Copy !req
1027. What? Ah!
Copy !req
1028. - What's my name, bitch?
- Ow! God! It's Cindy!
Copy !req
1029. Whose is it, Bobby?
Whose is it, Bobby?
Copy !req
1030. Its yours.
Copy !req
1031. Ahhhhhh!
Copy !req
1032. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1033. Oh, shit!
Copy !req
1034. Don't even contest
Cause I'll make you undress
Copy !req
1035. Like porn dancers
waitin' at the front door for an answer
Copy !req
1036. Hey, yo, I'm sick of artificial MCs
like silicone titties
Copy !req
1037. Hey, yo, check it, yo.
Fuck a cheap ball
Copy !req
1038. I wanna smoke Cheech and Chong
Copy !req
1039. And if I wanna fuck long,
I let my ding-a-long, hit the bong
Copy !req
1040. And then the song,
Always pass the dutchie to the left
Copy !req
1041. Because the right way
is wrong
Copy !req
1042. - Whoo-hoo!
- I got one. I got one.
Here it goes. Ready?
Copy !req
1043. I'm gonna slash and gash
Cut another hole in your ass
Copy !req
1044. I spill blood on the walls
then play tennis with your balls
Copy !req
1045. If the phone rings
don't answer the call
Copy !req
1046. Gonna slit your throat
fuck you like a goat
Copy !req
1047. Peel your foreskin off
and make a winter coat
Peace!
Copy !req
1048. Yo!
Copy !req
1049. That was the illest rhyme
I ever seen, son!
Copy !req
1050. Bobby... where were you tonight?
Copy !req
1051. - What?
- I was just curious.
Copy !req
1052. What took you so long
to get here?
Copy !req
1053. Why you so curious?
Copy !req
1054. I don't know.
Copy !req
1055. I thought it would fit
the 90s horror cliché...
Copy !req
1056. if you turned out
to be the killer.
Copy !req
1057. Oh, so, what? You think
I killed Buffy and Greg?
Copy !req
1058. Buffy and Greg are dead?
Copy !req
1059. - I thought you knew that.
- Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1060. Bobby, turn around!
Its the killer!
Copy !req
1061. Cindy!
Copy !req
1062. - Oh, my God! Bobby! Bobby!
- Cindy. Help me.
Copy !req
1063. - Bobby, its okay.
- Gimme the gun. Gimme-
Copy !req
1064. Its gonna be okay, Bobby.
Copy !req
1065. Yo, wait for me!
There's a killer in the house!
Copy !req
1066. There's ass, blood
and guts everywhere!
Copy !req
1067. Someone done gone crazy,
son!
Copy !req
1068. We all go a little crazy sometimes.
Bobby, no!
Copy !req
1069. Oh, shit, son!
Copy !req
1070. Oh, my God!
Copy !req
1071. Cindy, he shot me in the lungs.
Copy !req
1072. You wanna hit this shit?
Copy !req
1073. Ketchup.
Copy !req
1074. Just like my mom puts on
her spaghetti, baby.
Copy !req
1075. Oh, my God! Ray, you've gotta help me!
Bobby's gone crazy!
Copy !req
1076. Surprise!
Copy !req
1077. Surprise, Cindy!
Copy !req
1078. Why are you doing this, Bobby?
Copy !req
1079. Why? Why? You hear that, Ray?
Copy !req
1080. I think she wants
a motive.
Copy !req
1081. - Did Scream have a plot?
- No.
Copy !req
1082. Did I Know What You Did Last Summer
make any sense?
Copy !req
1083. Don't think so!
Copy !req
1084. What about the sequel?
What was with that fat,
white Jamaican kid?
Copy !req
1085. - I wanna kill that motherfucker.
- It was bad casting, Bobby.
Copy !req
1086. How about this for a motive?
Lack of sex!
Copy !req
1087. It can cause serious
deviant behavior.
Copy !req
1088. - I thought you loved me.
- Oh, I did, baby.
Copy !req
1089. I did. But abstinence can make you
discover new things about yourself.
Copy !req
1090. That's right, Cindy. I'm gay.
Copy !req
1091. And in case you haven't noticed,
so is Ray.
Copy !req
1092. What? I ain't gay.
Copy !req
1093. - What are you talking about?
- You took me to that club.
Copy !req
1094. So, they play good music.
Copy !req
1095. - What about our trip
to San Francisco, then?
- I wanted to go shopping.
Copy !req
1096. - But you made love to me.
- No. First of all, you sucked my—
Copy !req
1097. Whatever, Ray!
I don't want to talk about this now.
Copy !req
1098. The point is, I'm a new
man, and I'm ready to
Copy !req
1099. leave all this behind
and start a new life.
Copy !req
1100. - So you killed all your friends?
- Oh, no.
Copy !req
1101. Just you.
Copy !req
1102. And maybe Shorty,
but that wasn't planned or anything.
Copy !req
1103. But here's the genius part.
Copy !req
1104. We're copycatting a serial killer
that already exists.
Copy !req
1105. - Its the perfect crime, Cindy.
- But wait! There's more!
Copy !req
1106. Hang on to your seat, baby,
cause this one's a screamer!
Copy !req
1107. - I'll be back.
- Uh-oh.
Copy !req
1108. Move your big ass.
Come on.
Copy !req
1109. Dad!
Copy !req
1110. What are you gonna do,
frame him?
Copy !req
1111. Nah. We're just havin' a little bit
of fun with old daddio.
Copy !req
1112. The police are gonna find
you and daddy both dead,
Copy !req
1113. and me and Ray are the only survivors
of maniacs revenge.
Copy !req
1114. - You ready? I'm ready.
- You ready? I'm ready to do this shit.
Copy !req
1115. - Come on. Come on. All right.
- All right.
Copy !req
1116. - Come on!
- Give it to me. No!
Copy !req
1117. Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Copy !req
1118. - Ready? All right. Lets do this.
- Wait, wait. Ready.
Copy !req
1119. - Come on. Come on.
- Ready.
Copy !req
1120. Give it to me!
Copy !req
1121. No! Wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait!
Copy !req
1122. - Remember what we talked about?
To the side.
- I know.
Copy !req
1123. - How many times
we gonna go over this?
- Okay.
Copy !req
1124. Stop. Just—
All right. Trust me, okay?
Copy !req
1125. - All right. I'm ready.
- Trust me. I got this shit. Ready?
Copy !req
1126. - Wait, wait, wait!
- I'm about to cut your throat, boy!
Copy !req
1127. Stop acting like a little girl.
Come on. Come on!
Copy !req
1128. - You're right, you're right, you're right.
- Yeah, come on!
Copy !req
1129. Come on. You ready?
Copy !req
1130. No! You guys are psychos!
Copy !req
1131. You've seen
one too many TV shows!
Copy !req
1132. No! Watching television shows
doesn't create psycho killers!
Copy !req
1133. Cancelin' TV shows does!
Copy !req
1134. The Wayans Brothers
was a good show, man!
Copy !req
1135. It was a good-ass show,
and we didn't even get a final episode!
Copy !req
1136. Take it easy!
I'm feelin' a little woozy here!
Copy !req
1137. Its my turn.
Give me the knife.
Copy !req
1138. Fuck outta here.
Ain't nobody stabbin' me.
Copy !req
1139. Surprise, Cindy!
Copy !req
1140. All right, all right.
Hold on a second.
Copy !req
1141. Just give me a moment.
Ah. One—
Copy !req
1142. Oh, yeah. That's it.
Copy !req
1143. Ah. Okay.
Copy !req
1144. Dad!
Copy !req
1145. Are you okay?
Copy !req
1146. I thought I told you
not to have a party unless I was here.
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1147. But, Dad, you were here.
You were in the closet.
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1148. Oh, yeah, that's right. Did you get some
girlfriends numbers for me?
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1149. - Dad, they're dead.
- Ah, you know, I cant get a break.
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1150. — What's that? Is that the cops?
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1151. Okay, okay, listen, honey.
Help me up now.
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1152. Uh— Uh— If the cops come, tell em
I'm a plumber, okay?
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1153. You had a leaky faucet,
and you called, and
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1154. they sent me over. We
don't know each other.
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1155. No! No!
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1156. Dad, Dad, put your arms down.
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1157. - What the hells goin' on here?
- Sheriff, it's a bloodbath in there.
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1158. - He was right here! I swear it!
- Who was?
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1159. The killer!
The guy that murdered all my friends!
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1160. And the sick bastard planted drugs
all in the house there.
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1161. - All over the place.
- Dad. Stop it.
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1162. All right, Cindy.
I'm gonna have to take you
down to the station.
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1163. I'm cool, though, right?
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1164. - I'm okay?
- Lets— Lets go, Cindy.
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1165. Cindy. Call me.
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1166. Daddy'll get you out, honey.
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1167. Okay. Lets go over this again.
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1168. - You say it was an accident.
- Yes.
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1169. - He was on the road.
- And you think he came back
to get revenge?
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1170. It has to be him, Sheriff.
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1171. Here, Sheriff.
They wanted me to give this to you.
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1172. - That'll be all, Doofy.
- Okay.
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1173. - I'm gonna go, then. All right.
- All right.
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1174. Bye, Cindy.
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1175. I'm sorry, Cindy.
It wasn't the man you guys killed.
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1176. His name was David Keegan.
Some fishermen
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1177. found his body a
few weeks later.
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1178. - He's buried in Lakewood Cemetery.
- That's impossible.
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1179. - Then I don't know who it could be.
- He's gotta be someone else...
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1180. who was connected
with all the victims,
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1181. someone who knew
about the accident.
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1182. Someone who could move around
without being noticed.
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1183. Oh, my God.
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1184. She used to baby-sit my brother Doofy.
He had the biggest crush on her.
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1185. Its me, Cindy.
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1186. Night, Cindy.
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1187. - Doofy!
- Shit head?
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1188. - Have you seen Doofy?
- No.
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1189. - Have you seen Doofy?
Has anybody seen Doofy?
- No, Sheriff.
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1190. - No.
- Yeah.
Just went out the back, Sheriff.
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1191. Doofy!
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1192. He walks alone
under the big city lights
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1193. He always knows
just when the time is right
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1194. He never shows what he's thinking
He keeps it inside
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1195. Because he's
too cool for school
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1196. He comes alive
when the sun goes down
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1197. He gets it right
You know he's always down
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1198. He's got one eye open
and his ear to the ground
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1199. And he's too cool for school
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1200. He's an operator
He's a real player
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1201. And if you mess with him
you know you'll never win
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1202. No-o-o-o-o!
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1203. Shit, son. Yo, what the deal?
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1204. Yo, if you all watchin'
this tape right now,
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1205. that means
I didn't make it.
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1206. Either I'm a prisoner,
or worse, dead.
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1207. But either way it goes,
I'm gonna tell you
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1208. all the rules to survive
this situation.
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1209. You gotta be quick.
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1210. Don't fall down.
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1211. Whatever you do, never look back.
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1212. You all wish me luck.
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1213. Snatch and run, you all!
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1214. Come back here, you motherfuckers!
Son of a bitch!
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