1. Run!
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2. Run for your life!
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3. - Keep away! Keep away!
- Take it!
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4. Take all of it!
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5. The monster took my shoe!
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6. - Candy!
- Yay, treats. I love treats.
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7. - Felicia.
- Hi, Daddy.
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8. That was a nice grip you
had on that big fat kid.
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9. Farkle, excellent
work with your teeth.
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10. - Fergus, my lad.
- Daddy, Daddy, Daddy.
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11. We're gonna have to
work on your timing.
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12. All in all, not bad for
your first Halloween.
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13. They're growing up so fast.
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14. And look who got her
first clump of hair.
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15. Did you see? Farkle
got him in the ankle.
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16. - What about little Fergus?
- Nothing yet.
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17. That's all right, sweetie.
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18. Mama didn't get a scare
this year either.
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19. Fear not, my love. The
night is still young.
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20. Hold the phone. Who
left the door open?
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21. You don't think that
someone's inside?
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22. Now, who'd be stupid enough to
break into an ogre's house?
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23. Oh, wow. Terrifying. I don't
know how I'm gonna sleep now.
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24. Happy Halloween, everyone.
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25. - Oh, man.
- You said this was gonna scare 'em.
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26. Hey! I worked hard
on this costume.
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27. Admit it, Shrek. Weren't you
even a little bit scared?
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28. Donkey, ogres don't get scared.
We do the scaring.
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29. And that's why we're the
kings of Halloween.
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30. I bet we can find something that
would scare the pants off of you.
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31. - Which would scare me.
- Oh, really?
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32. And what do you have in mind?
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33. All of us telling scary
stories all night long.
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34. There ain't no way
you won't be scared!
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35. Yes. Stories to make
your blood run cold.
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36. - Yeah.
- Stories to terrify you.
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37. Yeah.
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38. And whoever shall last
through the night,
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39. shall be named the
King of Halloween.
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40. I accept.
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41. We doubly accept.
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42. Does anyone else want to
join our little contest?
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43. - I'm in!
- Ja, wunderbar!
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44. Huzzah!
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45. OK. I think I'm going
to take the kids out
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46. and terrify a few more
trick-or-treaters.
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47. Will I see you later?
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48. - The night is young.
- Trick or treat.
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49. I shall begin.
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50. Once upon a midnight dreary...
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51. There was this crazy albino guy, with
a hook, and he lived in a mirror.
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52. And if you even looked at him, you'd
wake up in a bathtub full of ice,
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53. with your kidneys gone.
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54. Whoa. Hey, hold on. I didn't
say we were doing this here.
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55. - What?
- You name the terms, I name the place.
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56. OK, fine! Where
we gonna do this?
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57. Castle Duloc?
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58. Ha, ha, very funny, Shrek.
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59. But this is where
Lord Farquaad lived.
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60. Ja! Und died.
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61. I heard it's haunted
by his ghost.
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62. If you're all too scared to put
on big boy pants and go in,
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63. I'll just claim my
winnings and be on my way.
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64. Now, wait a minute!
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65. We can last in there
just as long as you can.
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66. Fine. Come on then.
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67. Hold up, Shrek. You can't just
go barging into some creepy,
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68. spooky joint like
you own the place.
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69. And why not? It's not like
there's anyone here to stop us.
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70. I still don't know
about this, man.
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71. I'm getting a whole creepy House
of Wax vibe going on in here.
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72. Look, it's that little thingy
you love so much, remember?
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73. Welcome to Duloc
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74. It's a creepy town
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75. What was once pristine
Now is all rundown
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76. We will chop off your head And
then laugh when you're dead
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77. Duloc is a creepy place
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78. Come on in What the heck
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79. Fall right down Break your
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80. Face
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81. Duloc is Duloc is
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82. Duloc is a creepy place
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83. Get out.
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84. - Let's do that again!
- No!
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85. Well, then...
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86. This ought to be fun.
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87. Fun. Yeah, right.
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88. I find myself
agreeing with boss.
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89. This looks to be a very
entertaining evening.
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90. You know what? I just figured
out what your costume is.
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91. You came as a kiss-up!
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92. All right, all right.
Buckle up, everybody.
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93. The quicker I scare the
wits out of you lot,
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94. the sooner I can be
home, cozy in my bed.
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95. Unless anyone else thinks
they've got what it takes?
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96. Pick me, pick me! I
have a scary story.
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97. This isn't the one about you getting
trapped in the petting zoo again, is it?
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98. 'Cause that's not scary.
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99. Actually, if you look at it
from my perspective...
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100. Hey, guess what, Pinocchio?
No one cares!
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101. Get ready to send these
jokers home, Shrek,
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102. 'cause I've got a doozy.
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103. And it's all true.
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104. It was a dark and stormy night.
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105. Gingy?
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106. My girlfriend kicked me out.
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107. You know, something about
me being too into myself.
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108. You? But you are so adorable.
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109. I know, that's what
I keep telling her!
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110. I need a good woman, Muffin Man.
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111. I can help you, Gingy.
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112. How about this one?
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113. - I don't know.
- You like her?
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114. No. Weird hair.
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115. - How about this one?
- Too skinny.
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116. No! Don't like it!
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117. OK. Well, how about this one?
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118. Yes! That's it!
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119. She's perfect.
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120. The girl of my dreams.
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121. Wait. More sugar.
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122. But that is not the recipe.
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123. Trust me, Muffin Man, this
girl's gotta be real sweet.
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124. I want someone who
will love me forever.
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125. I must warn you, Gingy.
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126. No one has ever made cookies
with this much sugar.
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127. You are tampering with forces
far beyond your comprehension!
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128. Just put her in the oven!
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129. OK, a little privacy?
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130. Take a hike.
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131. Oh, oui.
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132. Oh, my gosh, I'm in love!
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133. You're like a cookie angel.
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134. Wow! And you're hot, too!
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135. Hello?
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136. I guess it didn't work.
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137. Gingy. Is it you?
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138. The one I was made for?
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139. We'll be together forever.
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140. Sweet!
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141. Are you happy, Gingy?
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142. You bet! The time
since I met you
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143. has been the best... seven
and a half minutes of my life.
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144. Good! Because this is
only the beginning.
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145. I'm going to love
you and hold you,
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146. and feed you and dress you
and cling to you and...
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147. hang onto you and
smother you with my love.
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148. - Yeah.
- Forever and ever and ever and ever...
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149. You know, it's getting a
little stuffy in here.
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150. You know, I'm gonna
go get some air.
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151. - Oh, no, you don't.
- Oh, no!
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152. Not without your umbrella.
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153. Come on!
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154. Here, let me get that.
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155. Wait for me.
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156. Sugar, could you just do me one
small, little, teensy favor?
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157. Anything.
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158. Could you leave me alone
for like 30 seconds?
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159. Anything but that.
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160. Yeah, I forgot my gumdrop buttons.
Yeah.
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161. Could you run over there and
get 'em for me, please?
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162. Sure I can. I'll be right back.
Gingy, Gingy...
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163. Run, run, run as
fast as you can,
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164. if you want to remain
a gingerbread man!
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165. Oh, Gingy.
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166. I don't understand. I
thought you were happy.
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167. - Oh, well, I... -
It's all my fault.
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168. I should have tried harder!
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169. No, no, no! Don't try harder!
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170. Maybe I'm not pretty enough.
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171. I can be pretty! Really pretty.
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172. The girl of your dreams.
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173. - Remember?
- Leave me alone!
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174. Gingy!
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175. Let go, Gingy!
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176. Fall with me, so we can
be together forever!
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177. Here's a thought. You let go!
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178. Together. Together for...
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179. Boy, what a night!
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180. I'm so glad that is over with.
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181. - Oh, well, nothing lasts forever.
- In sports...
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182. Together forever.
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183. - Together forever.
- What a nice surprise.
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184. Together forever.
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185. Hey! So, what's up?
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186. I think we both may have said
some things I might regret.
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187. - Together forever.
- Gosh, your eye is pretty.
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188. Look, I know you're upset, so.
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189. Why don't we just sit
down and discuss this!
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190. Then they ate me.
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191. They're gonna do that
all the way home.
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192. I gotta go. They were my ride.
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193. Wait a minute. If they ate you,
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194. how is it that
you're still here?
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195. Did you not say this
was a true story?
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196. Busted.
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197. You made it up, didn't you?
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198. I... Hey, look! Lord
Farquaad's ghost!
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199. Doody heads!
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200. And then there were three.
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201. Who else wants to step up?
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202. I, too, have a
terrifying tale to tell.
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203. It was a dark and stormy night.
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204. Hey, hey. What the...?
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205. And we needed to find
us some shelter.
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206. This is my turn to tell a story.
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207. Hey, hey.
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208. The kindly innkeeper
was warm and friendly.
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209. She made me feel
all bubbly inside.
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210. My trusty sidekick here
would love to freshen up.
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211. - Sidekick?
- And I would love some waffles.
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212. - We are equals.
- Oh, man. Of course we are.
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213. The noble donkey reassured his
clearly inferior sidekick.
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214. I'm getting a little
tired of this.
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215. But before Puss could
finish his thought,
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216. he decided to take a
well-deserved tongue bath.
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217. What the...?
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218. Well, as long as I am here.
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219. But right then, danger
came from behind.
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220. And Puss was never seen again.
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221. The end.
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222. No! That is not how
the story goes.
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223. I was well aware of the
approaching danger
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224. and went for my steel!
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225. Don't worry, little buddy.
I'm here to save you.
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226. Oh, you're killing me.
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227. It was Prince Charming. He was
packing heat and he wanted revenge!
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228. - I want revenge!
- He said.
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229. But before anyone could
do anything...
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230. It was awful and it was terrible
and it was really, really scary.
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231. What? No! Go back.
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232. Although the Charming was fast,
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233. I was swift enough to repel the
attack and leap to safety.
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234. Which is exactly what
he wanted you to do.
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235. Charming laughed, just
like a crazed maniac.
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236. No, I'm sorry, but I would
never let that happen to me.
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237. Instead, I... I woke up.
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238. Yeah, that's right.
It was all a dream.
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239. You mean a nightmare. You know
you're on the ceiling, right?
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240. I will get you for this.
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241. Oh! And then the
lights went out.
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242. It was horrible and sad how
Puss pleaded for mercy.
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243. Mercy? Please.
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244. Said Puss, with his
last dying breath.
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245. But when the lights
came back on,
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246. it was the donkey who
was taking a shower.
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247. Oh, my goodness. Why
would I do that?
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248. And right behind you,
there was danger.
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249. - Oh, man.
- You were paralyzed.
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250. It was a donkey-eating waffle.
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251. It was packing heat and
it wanted revenge!
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252. I want revenge!
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253. The donkey... ran.
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254. But how far can you run
when you are on a plate,
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255. covered in butter,
wearing a pink tutu?
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256. - No!
- And a sombrero!
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257. And a coconut brassiere! And
about to be eaten alive!
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258. No! Please! Please, I'll
switch to pancakes.
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259. And the donkey was
never seen again.
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260. But what Puss didn't know
is that right behind him
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261. was the one thing he feared
more than anything else.
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262. - No. You wouldn't.
- I would.
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263. - You didn't.
- I did.
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264. No! Anything but that! No!
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265. The end.
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266. I'm pretty sure that's cheating.
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267. It worked, didn't it?
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268. Who's next in our
little contest?
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269. Has anyone seen the mice?
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270. Are we there yet?
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271. OK. I think it's time for a
story that's actually scary.
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272. Yeah, whatever.
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273. You had your chance. Now then.
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274. Something beyond comprehension
was happening to a little boy
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275. on this street, in this house.
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276. A man had come as a last resort,
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277. because... no one else
would go near the place.
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278. I hear you've been expecting me.
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279. - You are the...?
- That's right.
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280. I am...
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281. the babysitter.
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282. Yes, yes. Thank goodness
that you've come.
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283. My boy. I don't know
what's gotten into him.
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284. I've never seen
anything like it.
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285. Trust me, buddy, I've got
three little ogres at home.
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286. This will be a piece of cake.
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287. Father.
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288. Father!
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289. - OK, then.
- Look, I'm telling you.
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290. I've tried every trick in the book.
You see?
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291. "Once Upon A Time-Out"?
Oh, come on, now.
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292. - You're gonna listen to a goose?
- Please. You don't understand.
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293. It's like he's two
different people.
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294. What your kid needs is discipline, not
a bunch of psychological mumbo jumbo.
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295. You just gotta walk in
there, look him in the eye,
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296. and show him who's...
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297. Please tell me he's
an only child.
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298. Bubblegum fish pants...
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299. Hello.
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300. Well, here's your problem.
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301. His head's not screwed on right.
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302. When you wish upon a star,
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303. you get lots of stuff.
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304. Well, I wish for a
nice, quiet evening
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305. where you go to sleep
and I raid the icebox.
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306. OK.
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307. See? That was easy.
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308. It's like I always say, when
it comes to good parenting,
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309. you have to be fair but firm.
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310. You just show 'em that
you mean business...
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311. And he's out of bed
again, isn't he?
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312. You never have this problem
with sock puppets.
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313. All right, what's
this all about?
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314. Voices.
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315. - Voices?
- In here.
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316. Telling me what to do.
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317. You have voices
inside your head.
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318. Sometimes.
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319. And what kind of things
do they tell you to do?
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320. The early bird
catches the worms!
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321. What's gotten into this kid?
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322. Hey! You're going to...
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323. Maybe you sing him
a little song.
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324. Come here, you... Hey!
What the...?
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325. Do I look like the kind of
guy that knows a lullaby?
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326. Sing!
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327. Lullaby and good night
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328. Close your big creepy eyes
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329. If you sleep Away I'll creep
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330. And get out of here alive
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331. You know, once you get past all
the splinters and rope burns,
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332. he's actually kind of cute.
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333. Now where did he go?
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334. A bird in the hand is
worth two in the bush.
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335. Now there's something you
don't see every day.
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336. Get him off! Get him off!
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337. Come back here, you!
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338. I regret nothing!
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339. I'm too young to have termites!
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340. I'm no termite, Pinocchio.
I'm a cricket.
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341. You were the voice in my
head this whole time?
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342. That's right.
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343. I'm the one who was putting all
those thoughts in your noggin.
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344. I'm your conscience, and
as long as you let me,
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345. I'll always be your...
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346. The end.
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347. That wasn't me. I never
had any bugs in my head.
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348. Ask anyone.
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349. OK, then. Why don't we start
by asking your conscience.
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350. Now who's cheating?
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351. Well, Donkey, looks like
it's just you and me.
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352. Go ahead. There ain't nothing
you can say that can scare me.
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353. Oh, well, I suppose there's
nothing left to do
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354. but sit here in the dark
and wait for the ghost.
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355. Ghost? What ghost?
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356. Farquaad's ghost, of course.
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357. As a matter of fact, if
I remember correctly,
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358. I believe you had a hand
in his untimely demise.
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359. Hey, man. That was an accident.
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360. And besides, all that ghost
stuff is just an urban legend.
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361. - You know that.
- Is it?
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362. OK, OK, that's...
that's just the wind.
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363. Donkey!
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364. And apparently it knows my name.
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365. That's very funny, Shrek. But
I know it's you doing this.
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366. Hey, I'm standing right
here with you, Donkey.
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367. No way. This place is
not haunted by a ghost,
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368. and when the sun comes up, Donkey
will be the new King of...
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369. It's right behind me, isn't it?
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370. - Donkey.
- Oh, my goodness!
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371. Well, that's what I'd call
a "knight" to remember.
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372. What do you say we scare
ourselves up some dinner?
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373. I'd say... grab the
kids and let's get going.
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374. And that's why we're the
Kings of Halloween.
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375. He was so scared. We probably
won't see him for a month.
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376. So, what else have you got
in your bag of tricks?
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377. I've got seven eggs.
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378. Perfect.
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379. I love this holiday.
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380. Oh, very nice!
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381. I am not happy!
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