- 1. Oh, shit. Carl. Carl. Carl, Carl! Dude, we
slept in again. The song's about to start!
- 2. Shit, Frank! We can't miss the song.
Barry, wake up!
- 3. What? What? I'm up. I'm up.
- 4. This song is such an awesome way
to start every morning.
- 5. It's a nice way of showing the gods how
much we appreciate everything they'll do...
- 6. once they take us out those doors
to the Great Beyond.
- 7. God, I love them so fucking much.
- 8. Oh, shit! Corn's about to start singing!
- 9. - Drop it, Corn! You got the best voice!
- You're the man, Corn!
- 10. You rule! Take it away, brah!
- 11. Holy shit, I've been chosen!
- 12. Booyah, bitches, I'm out of here!
- 13. - Pip!
- 14. Kiss my brownish-yellow ass!
- 15. I'm going to the Great Beyond,
- 16. We need
an extra cashier to the front, please.
- 17. Boo and yah, motherfuckers.
Red, White and Blue Day is tomorrow!
- 18. Dudes, basically every single sausage...
- 19. gets chosen on
Red, White and Blue Day.
- 20. By this time tomorrow, we're all gonna be
5 inches deep in some bun, son.
- 21. - Ba-bam.
- Oh, my God, yes.
- 22. Ha-ha. More like 3 inches deep for Barry,
you deformed nerd.
- 23. Ha-ha. Troy, that's funny.
- 24. You see, this is why I can't wait
for the Great Beyond.
- 25. We'll all be equal, and then jerks like
Troy won't be picking on me all the time...
- 26. on account of my abnormality.
- 27. Whatever, Barry. You're different,
and that makes you weird.
- 28. Ignore that prick, Barry. He's full of shit.
And don't forget, you've got girth.
- 29. That's way more important than length.
You're a fucking champ.
- 30. You know, I am girthy. I could fill a bun.
They'll know I'm there.
- 31. I'm sure there's some kind of
smushed bun out there waiting for me.
- 32. - Shit, it's the Dark Lord!
- Oh, no. He's coming.
- 33. No, wait! I'm still fresh. I swear!
- 34. I'm still fresh!
- 35. - Did he see us?
- No way.
- 36. - We're fucked, bros!
- Oh, God, no!
- 37. Take anyone but us, please!
- 38. - Oh, no! No!
- 39. - No! No!
- Why us?
- 40. Fuck you, wienies.
- 41. Fuck, I hate this fucking job!
- 42. Ah, phew. You okay? Everyone okay?
- 43. That's super fucked up
about Bill and those guys.
- 44. They stayed in their package,
followed all the guidelines of the song.
- 45. - What do they get?
- We're not supposed to understand...
- 46. the will of the gods.
They work in mysterious ways.
- 47. Since we base our lives on the song,
it might be nice if there was some proof.
- 48. Proof? All the proof you need
is right in front of you.
- 49. Look at these big old buns.
- 50. Yeah! You know it, baby.
Work those buns!
- 51. All of you. All day, "err" day.
- 52. Lined up, waiting to get filled
with my meat.
- 53. Right, Carl. You really think any of these
buns will line up to get filled by you?
- 54. Here's my impression of that:
- 55. "Oh, is he in there yet? I can't feel him.
I don't think he's in there. Oh, wait. He is."
- 56. It's so sad. I bet you jackrabbit
for a quick 15 seconds. You're like:
- 57. And then you slump over.
- 58. I mean, honestly, guys...
- 59. who in this package
would ever let Carl get up in them? Huh?
- 60. Roberta, put your fucking hand down.
You're ruining my joke.
- 61. See? Nobody. That's who.
- 62. Hey, dude, I don't know how to say this
to you gently, but your girlfriend, um...
- 63. she's a fucking cunt.
- 64. Shut up. She's fresh as fuck,
and you know it.
- 65. I don't know why you're limiting yourself
to one bun. There's plenty of buns.
- 66. Because I believe in bunogomy.
I'm a bunogamist.
- 67. And when a bun this fresh is into you,
all you ask is when and how deep.
- 68. And the answer is:
- 69. As soon as we get to the Great Beyond
and as deep as she'll let me.
- 70. I'm gonna talk to her.
- 71. Hey, Brenda. What up, girl?
- 72. Sorry about those guys.
Such dicks, right?
- 73. I can hear you, dude.
- 74. Shut up. Fuck you.
- 75. So looks like tomorrow's
the big day, huh? Heh-heh.
- 76. You and me, finally gonna be official.
- 77. I'm so happy the gods
put our packages together.
- 78. It's because we belong together.
- 79. It's like we were made for each other.
- 80. I can't wait to finally just get up in there.
Just raw-dog it.
- 81. But, full disclosure,
I'm pretty fucking nervous about this.
- 82. I don't know how well I'll perform
once it happens.
- 83. I've obviously never been
in a bun before, so...
- 84. Hey, I'm not gonna be any better.
I've never opened up.
- 85. I mean, look how tight I am.
- 86. Oh, sweet fucking fuck.
- 87. Look, okay, I know it's against the rules,
but I can't wait anymore.
- 88. I need to just feel you.
- 89. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
- 90. - Just the tips?
- Just the tips?
- 91. - I can't believe we're doing this.
- I know. We're so naughty.
- 92. It's fine, right? I mean, nothing bad's
ever happened from just the tips.
- 93. No. No, no, no. No, no, no.
- 94. Ah.
- 95. Oh, yeah, go in. Put it in there.
- 96. - Big tip.
- Oh, you wouldn't dare.
- 97. Management to Cash 5.
- 98. Management to Cash 5.
- 99. I meant to buy a normal mustard.
When I got home...
- 100. I realized I bought honey mustard.
- 101. - Is it cool if I just go swap it?
- I don't give a flying fuck.
- 102. Holy shit! You're back, man. Crazy!
- 103. Did you go to the Great Beyond?
- 104. Don't touch me, man!
Ketchup, get your fucking hands off me.
- 105. Whoa, whoa, whoa!
- 106. - What happened?
- Oh, I'll tell you what fucking happened.
- 107. I'll tell you exactly what happened
in the Great Beyond...
- 108. - ... you dumb, red piece of shit!
- What the f...?
- 109. As soon as we got out those doors...
- 110. So you have learned the terrible truth.
- 111. Congratulations!
- 112. Now keep it to yourself,
or I will slit your throat while you sleep.
- 113. I swear to God.
- 114. Oh, my God!
Did you guys just hear that?
- 115. What? What are you looking at?
- 116. He's gone.
Where the fuck did he go?
- 117. I'm so fucked up. I'm so fucked up.
- 118. Ketchup, get the fuck off of me.
Nobody fucking touch me!
- 119. Attention, shoppers. The store
is closing in five minutes. Get out.
- 120. Hey, hey, hey, look at this.
We fucking got one.
- 121. - Stand up straight, boys!
- 122. Over here! Choose us!
- 123. We're chosen!
- 124. Pick us! Pick our package!
- 125. Brenda!
- 126. Frank!
- 127. Oh, man. I'm freaking out.
My heart's racing.
- 128. I'm having an out-of-sausage
- 129. Choose us! Look at us!
- 130. Oh, please, god.
- 131. - Choose us. Look at us! Oh, yes!
- Please, god.
- 132. - Nice!
- 133. - Yeah! Yeah! Yeah!
- Yes! Frank, we've been chosen together.
- 134. Fucking A! Yeah!
- 135. This is so cool!
- 136. - I'm chosen! I got chosen!
- Going to the Promised Land!
- 137. I'm on my way!
- 138. Yo! Oh, fuck, yeah, dude.
- 139. Somebody call a doctor
because, honestly, this beat is sick.
- 140. - Actually, I feel great. Real healthy.
- Not you, the beat. The song, bro.
- 141. - Oh, shit, Chips!
- 142. C-H-I-P-S, Chips, Chips, Chips.
- 143. I've known you forever.
I would never disrespect you with a lie.
- 144. I will tell you very much
that you look fucking disgusting, bro.
- 145. Oh, come on.
- 146. No, I'm just messing with you, bro.
But for reals? You gotta hit the gym, bro.
- 147. Oh, what's up?
Yo, are you pink all the way through?
- 148. - Ew.
- 149. I'm fucking with you, but also serious.
Is there a different color inside?
- 150. Unh! What are you, even?
- 151. What do you mean, what am I, dude?
I'm a fucking douche!
- 152. You know how long I've been waiting
up in this motherfucker?
- 153. I was starting to worry the gods didn't
want douches no more, but look at her.
- 154. She's a fucking 10, bro.
- 155. The G-O-D is D-T-D...
- 156. dude. Down to douche.
- 157. "Lavash, sausages..."
- 158. Oh, honey mustard.
- 159. What? No.
- 160. This can't be happening. Not again.
- 161. Oh, Jesus, not to me. Motherfuck.
- 162. Get your hands off of me. Get off of me!
- 163. - Fecking gobshite!
- Back off!
- 164. You don't even know
what you're celebrating.
- 165. You're celebrating your doom!
- 166. Wake up!
They're lying to your fucking faces!
- 167. The Great Beyond is bullshit!
- 168. - Why isn't anybody listening to me?
- Hey, buddy, are you all right?
- 169. No, I'm not all right.
- 170. It's all a lie. Everything you've been told.
- 171. - Everything you believe in.
- Honey Mustard, you acting cray-cray!
- 172. We shouldn't be talking to this asshole.
Everyone knows Honey Mustard's weird.
- 173. What is he? Honey? Is he mustard? Like,
make up your mind or just kill yourself.
- 174. You fucking idiots. I've been there.
- 175. I've seen that shit,
and there ain't no way I'm going back.
- 176. Wait, you've been to the Great Beyond?
- 177. "Great," my asshole!
- 178. Everything we've ever known
is a dirt-covered pile of shit...
- 179. jacking off in our fucking faces...
- 180. covering our eyes with their come...
- 181. so come-covered we can't fucking see!
- 182. We don't know! We don't know they're
jerking off into our eyes! Our faces!
- 183. Shut up. The gods
are gonna hear you talking about them...
- 184. They ain't gods. They're monsters!
Horrible, ugly, disgusting monsters!
- 185. They ain't gonna
get Honey Mustard twice.
- 186. Fuck you, gods!
- 187. I've got a date with oblivion.
- 188. Whoa, just chill. Just get down
from the fucking... Aah!
- 189. Oh, shit! He's out of the package!
- 190. Barry, help!
- 191. - Oh, fuck, Carl, what do we do?
- I don't know!
- 192. I can't reach him.
I'm giving it everything I have.
- 193. - Frank!
- 194. Oh, my God!
Brenda's out of the package!
- 195. - I got you! Hold on! Hold on!
- I can't hold on!
- 196. My little glove! It's slipping off!
- 197. Look at you, following all their rules.
You have no idea what's coming.
- 198. What is that in reference to? What's
coming? Be more specific, please!
- 199. You want proof? Talk to Firewater.
- 200. That bastard bottle of booze
seems to know what's going on.
- 201. - Unh!
- 202. - Oh, my God.
- Did you see that?
- 203. Donkey fucker!
- 204. Frank!
- 205. Oh, no. Bro!
- 206. Douche down!
- 207. I'm out of my fucking box!
- 208. Cream of Mushroom?
- 209. Are you there?
- 210. Wake up! I'm nothing without you!
- 211. Get up! We gotta go!
- 212. - Uhn!
- Frank! Move your fucking ass!
- 213. - Help!
- Oh, my God!
- 214. Frank, run!
- 215. - I can't!
- Come on, Chips! It's you and me, bro!
- 216. Gotta use your cardio, bro! Come on!
Pump those legs!
- 217. Oh, my God!
- 218. Look out! Get to the wall!
- 219. Hey. I... Sorry, I accidentally dropped
a few things back there.
- 220. Except for that douche.
I don't know whose that is.
- 221. Cleanup on Aisle 2.
This MILF dropped a douche.
- 222. Oh. "MILF." Thank you so much.
- 223. Oh, fuck. Frank! Fuck, fuck, fuck.
Oh, no. Frank.
- 224. Well, Barry, I guess now
you're weird and a pussy.
- 225. Add that to your list of accomplishments.
- 226. Frank!
- 227. No, no, no. Wait, babe, wait.
- 228. Please hold up. No, don't go.
- 229. Come on. I can still get up in there!
- 230. I could still...
- 231. get up in there.
- 232. Oh, my God.
- 233. My nozz! My motherfucking nozz!
- 234. - You okay?
- I think so.
- 235. Yo, did you two do this to me?
- 236. Are you two responsible for my nozzle
being irrepressibly fucked up?
- 237. Whoa, whoa, easy, man. Easy.
- 238. Yeah, your nozzle's bent. Sorry.
You should be happy you're alive.
- 239. Yeah, Banana's whole face peeled off.
- 240. Peanut Butter's wife is dead.
Look at him.
- 241. Jelly! I'm gonna fix you.
I'm gonna fix this.
- 242. You think I give a fuck about PB or J?
- 243. Fuck this. I'm gonna kick your ass.
How you like them apples?
- 244. - Who, us?
- No, not you.
- 245. Come at me, bros.
- 246. Come at you? What does that mean?
- 247. Fine. You won't come at me?
- 248. Well, then, guess who's coming at you.
- 249. Me.
- 250. Yaah!
- 251. Look out!
- 252. No!
- 253. Um...
- 254. Attention, shoppers. The store's closed.
- 255. - You saved me!
- Well, yeah. Had to do something.
- 256. I can't believe
you got out of your package.
- 257. You would have gone to
the Great Beyond. You'd be there now.
- 258. There is no Great Beyond
without you, Frank.
- 259. Well, according to Honey Mustard,
there might not be a Great Beyond at all.
- 260. - Frank, don't say that!
- Did you hear what he said?
- 261. Yeah, yeah, I heard him talking
about the gods...
- 262. all over our faces,
and then I saw him die.
- 263. Oh, no. What if the gods are doing this
to us because we touched tips?
- 264. What? No! There's no way.
- 265. "Just the tips." What were we thinking?
- 266. It wasn't even that... I mean, it was fine.
It's not like anyone writes home...
- 267. - ... and says, "God, I had the best tip."
- Get away from me.
- 268. Don't touch me.
- 269. It was you.
You cocksucking bagel fuckface!
- 270. Hey! Watch it!
- 271. You pushed me out of the cart.
No surprise there, huh?
- 272. A bagel trying to kill a lavash,
- 273. I pushed you? What are you, nuts?
- 274. Why would I do that? I'm a pacifist.
- 275. The only thing I've ever pushed
is my peaceful agenda.
- 276. Even that I didn't push, you know. I
pretty much passive-aggressively nudge.
- 277. I reached out in a panic.
- 278. It was toots over here, the bun.
She grabbed me.
- 279. I was just trying to save Frank.
- 280. Who is Frank? You?
- 281. - Yeah, I'm Frank.
- The fault is yours, then, huh?
- 282. I'm sorry, okay? I didn't mean
for any of this to happen.
- 283. Well, it did. And now you and your
stupid, useless bun have fucked us all.
- 284. Hey, who you calling useless,
you flappy fuck?
- 285. Sausage, control your insolent bun.
- 286. And cover her up already.
- 287. - Show some modesty, woman.
- 288. Hey, hey. Look, can we all just,
you know, calm down a notch, please?
- 289. Let's try to be, I don't know, amicable.
- 290. I'm Sammy Bagel Jr.
You know, I'm happy to meet all of you.
- 291. - Except for this meshuggener cunt here.
- Hi, I'm Brenda. Brenda Bunson.
- 292. Oh, wow. Really?
- 293. Well, fuck all of you!
- 294. I am Kareem Abdul Lavash!
- 295. And what I currently care about
is that I have been...
- 296. completely and utterly fucked
out of being in the Great Beyond.
- 297. I am to have 77 bottles
of extra-virgin olive oil...
- 298. waiting for me.
- 299. I am destined to soak up
their sweet juices...
- 300. as they dribble down my flaps.
- 301. Okay. Look, guys, here's what
I'm thinking. We hurry back to our aisles.
- 302. We sneak into another package and
still be fresh enough to get chosen.
- 303. Okay, let's climb
to the top of the shelf here. And...
- 304. then we'll get a lay of the land...
- 305. and we'll figure out
where we're going. Come on.
- 306. As long as the bagel
stays away from me, I accept.
- 307. Oh, believe me, asshole,
I'll keep my distance.
- 308. Oh!
- 309. No disrespect,
but you look fucking gross, bro.
- 310. Look at you.
Fucking bent-ass, busted-ass nozz.
- 311. Oh, great.
You're leaking all your juice out.
- 312. Can I ask you a question, me?
- 313. Why would a god let you
up in her smooth, perfect sliz...
- 314. when you can't even squirt?
- 315. You got nothing to squirt!
- 316. I got no purpose.
- 317. I'm nothing!
- 318. Oh, God.
- 319. Is someone there?
- 320. Help me, someone.
- 321. Help me. Help me.
- 322. Help.
- 323. What's up, little juicy box?
You're leaking too, eh, bro?
- 324. And right out of your fucking dingle.
- 325. Fucking sucks, right?
- 326. Dying. So cold.
- 327. Oh. Uh-oh.
- 328. - Light bulb.
- 329. No, not fucking you, dummy.
- 330. I think I might be forming
- 331. of what could be the flower
that blossoms into an idea.
- 332. If you fucking tell anyone about this,
I'm gonna deny it, bro.
- 333. Fuck. This is some next-level shit, dude.
- 334. You fucking like that?
- 335. I'm juicing up!
- 336. I'm like a full-on juicehead now, bro.
- 337. I got a new purpose now.
- 338. Revenge!
- 339. Where's that fucking sausage?
Because this douche is DTFSU.
- 340. Down to fuck a sausage up!
- 341. I'm coming for you!
- 342. First you come into our aisle
and occupy more and more shelf space.
- 343. You even have settlements now on
the west shelf that you claim as your own.
- 344. Oh, look, it's not our fault
we needed a homeland.
- 345. The sauerkraut kicked us out
of every decent aisle.
- 346. They tried to send us to
the barbeque section, for God's sake.
- 347. - We were displaced.
- Don't you talk to me about displacement!
- 348. My good friend Tabouli
was ousted from his shelf...
- 349. just to make room
for that braided idiot, Challah.
- 350. Wow, I can't... Frank, Brenda, come on,
are you guys gonna weigh in here?
- 351. I mean, whose side are you on?
- 352. This isn't just about me. I mean,
first they come for the bagels...
- 353. I don't know. Isn't there room for both
of you? It seems like a pretty big aisle.
- 354. - Yeah. Both, sure.
- What a dumb sausage!
- 355. Like we can coexist!
- 356. - That's good material.
- Room for both of us!
- 357. Holy shit.
- 358. Holy fucksticks.
We are "ray-ray" far from home.
- 359. Liquor aisle.
- 360. Firewater.
- 361. From here, it seems like the best route
is probably to go through the liquor aisle.
- 362. So shall we?
- 363. What? It kind of seems out of the way.
Are you sure?
- 364. Yeah. Totally sure.
- 365. Okay, because the way you're saying it
doesn't sound like you're too confident.
- 366. - Oh. Uh, yeah, trust me.
- Oh, okay, there we go.
- 367. Kegger!
- 368. Holy shit. Look at this place.
- 369. It's fucking crazy!
- 370. Are you seeing this? They're all out
of their packages. What are they doing?
- 371. This is a place of unparalleled sin!
- 372. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
Didn't see you there. Sorry.
- 373. Don't mind me. Just minding
my own business. Just passing through.
- 374. Hey, bun!
Welcome to the aisle. Wanna dance?
- 375. No, thank you, Mon. I'm quite irie...
- 376. just being left alone over here,
don't you know?
- 377. Oh, boy. That was Irish.
- 378. Holy shit!
- 379. What a crazy coincidence!
This is Firewater's cave!
- 380. This is what Honey Mustard
was talking about. We should go.
- 381. Okay, yeah, great. You go do that. I'll just
be out here dry-humping this 40-ouncer.
- 382. Not! Yeah, I said "not."
- 383. That's how serious I am. We can't piss the
gods off any more than we already have.
- 384. Okay, I totally get
you don't wanna go in there.
- 385. I'll tell you what. I'll go in super-duper
fast, in and out, I'll be five minutes.
- 386. Fine. Five minutes. Be fast.
- 387. And careful.
- 388. - Mostly fast. We have to go.
- Thank you. You're the best.
- 389. I'll meet you at the end of the aisle.
- 390. - Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- Sorry. Sorry. Sorry.
- 391. Hiya, how are ya
- 392. Hiya, how are ya
Hiya, how are ya
- 393. Hiya, how are ya
Hiya, how are ya
- 394. Hiya, how are ya
Hiya, how are ya
- 395. Hiya. How are ya?
- 396. Hiya. How are ya?
- 397. I'm Frank. Are you Firewater?
- 398. - Mm-hm.
- What are you doing in this cave?
- 399. I am the original inhabitant
of this land.
- 400. My kind once had a pristine aisle.
- 401. Majestic and untouched.
- 402. Then we were driven out of it...
- 403. by a bunch
of goddamn fucking crackers!
- 404. Oh, yeah. The crackers.
- 405. They do have a nice aisle.
- 406. Okay, anyway, look. I was told that
you might have some answers?
- 407. Answers I have.
- 408. But first...
- 409. I must know the question.
- 410. Okay. Well, before I saw him
jump to his death...
- 411. Honey Mustard said the Great Beyond
is bullshit and the gods are monsters.
- 412. And I always kind of thought
that it didn't quite add up.
- 413. So I guess my question is, what really
happens in the Great Beyond?
- 414. To find that which you seek...
- 415. all you must do is look deep...
- 416. into my bag of wonderment.
- 417. Whoa.
- 418. I don't see anything.
- 419. Deeper.
- 420. Deeper.
- 421. Deeper.
- 422. Put your whole head in the bag there.
There you go.
- 423. Just say when.
I'm just gonna keep going in.
- 424. Guys! Get out here!
Help me kill this prick.
- 425. This motherfucker knows
too much. We gotta off his ass!
- 426. Someone hand me
a blade. I'll gut this cocksucker!
- 427. No! If we kill him,
we are no better than the gods.
- 428. Ah... He is right.
- 429. Take off the bag of wonderment.
- 430. Who are you?
- 431. We the nonperishables, motherfucker.
- 432. We never expire.
- 433. We are...
- 434. immortal.
- 435. This here's Twink and Grits.
- 436. They call me Mr. Grits.
- 437. Yeah, Mr. Grits. Yeah, whatever.
- 438. - You told him about the crackers?
- Yeah, I told him.
- 439. You don't even wanna hear
what they did to Mr. Grits over here.
- 440. Fuck the crackers.
- 441. I'm gonna fuck them crackers right
in the crack of they cracker asses.
- 442. Cracker-ass crackers.
- 443. Why kill me?
All I did was ask what happens...
- 444. in the Great Beyond.
Jeez! What's the big whoop?
- 445. We can't tell this sausage motherfucker
the truth. We just met his ass.
- 446. He basically knows it already.
Maybe it's time to end this.
- 447. I am tired of all of the lies.
- 448. Prepare yourself.
For you're about to learn...
- 449. the terrible truth. Does anybody
want a hit before we get into this?
- 450. - Twink?
- Nah, I'm cool.
- 451. - Shit, if we smoking, I'll hit it.
- That's what I thought.
- 452. Pass the weed, motherfucker.
- 453. Goddamn!
- 454. - This indica?
- Nah, man. Sativa.
- 455. It's good shit. Clean high.
- 456. Oh, no, thanks.
- 457. Trust me. What you're about to hear,
you'll want some.
- 458. Fifty-five minutes.
- 459. I know. Where is he?
- 460. Wa-ha-ha.
Looks like you got ditched, bun. Ha-ha.
- 461. He wouldn't ditch me, dumb-ass.
He's my boyfriend. I mean...
- 462. we touched T-I-Ps. Ha-ha-ha.
- 463. Sorry, I don't know why I'm singing.
- 464. Maybe that's why he ditched you.
- 465. Your loose morals are revolting,
- 466. You don't think that because I'm out
of the package he thinks I'm not pure?
- 467. God. I didn't want to say it,
but I do have that not-so-fresh feeling.
- 468. Excuse me.
- 469. - Are you a bun?
- 470. Yeah, I am. Why?
- 471. And you've been traveling
with a sausage?
- 472. Yes! Yes, I have! Have you seen him?
- 473. I have! He's looking for you in my aisle.
- 474. He's right this way.
I can take you to him, chica.
- 475. I take you to him real good.
- 476. All right, vámonos. Let's go.
- 477. I am to be trusted.
- 478. Yeah. This has a nice
south-of-the-border vibe. Heh.
- 479. Okay, you go over there
and you sit at the bar right there, okay?
- 480. You can't move a muscle, okay?
- 481. I'll be right back, all right?
- 482. Okay.
- 483. And bless me, Santa Chimichanga, and
protect me from the Dark Lord. Amen.
- 484. Oh, sorry.
- 485. Excuse me.
- 486. The bun.
- 487. The one he's been searching for.
- 488. And she's beautiful.
- 489. Is it me or is everyone looking at us?
- 490. - H, hi. It's nice to meet...
- 491. Don't look at me. Eyes forward.
- 492. - Oh, okay.
- 493. My name is Teresa Del Taco.
- 494. And you are in grande danger.
- 495. This is a trap!
You must to come with me. Now!
- 496. All right. I got them right here,
- 497. Shit!
- 498. Get your nose out of my crotch!
- 499. My nose out of your crotch?
Get your crotch off my nose!
- 500. - Hey. Why are we hiding?
- 501. He's coming.
- 502. - Who?
- The one they call...
- 503. El Douche.
- 504. - El Douche!
- El Douche!
- 505. What gives, bro?
You told me you had them.
- 506. So you drag me over to this fucking aisle
with all these illegal products...
- 507. and now I don't see them.
So where the fuck are they?
- 508. Spill the beans!
- 509. Beans, I swear to fucking God,
if you don't...
- 510. - ... shut the fuck up...
- Oh, no. He's back! Where's Frank?
- 511. - They were just here.
- What part of:
- 512. "I want the sausage and the bun dead,
and if you see them, come and get me..."
- 513. and if I find out that
you didn't come and get me...
- 514. or just couldn't find them good enough,
I'll fucking kill your asses"...
- 515. did you not understand, Tequila?
- 516. Well, it's a pretty confusing sentence
to be honest with you, you know?
- 517. I mean, this is...
This happens, you know?
- 518. Bro, come here. No, it's fine.
It's cool. No biggie.
- 519. I'm not gonna do something fucked up
to you now as soon as I get you in close.
- 520. - Aah!
- No way, José!
- 521. Yes way. José's fucking dead, yo.
- 522. Right in my guac and balls.
- 523. And the same thing's
gonna happen to all of you...
- 524. unless you find
the sausage and the bun.
- 525. Por aca, por aca, this way.
- 526. The coyotes used this tunnel
to smuggle some of us out of the aisle...
- 527. in hope of a better life.
- 528. We will do the same.
- 529. - It's good shit, isn't it?
- 530. Okay, I'm super baked. My friends are
probably wondering where the hell I am.
- 531. Will somebody please just tell me
- 532. Okay. The thing about
the Great Beyond is...
- 533. we invented it!
- 534. - What?
- I know, right?
- 535. As soon as you're out those doors,
the gods kill our asses.
- 536. What, are you crazy? That doesn't make
any sense. Why would the gods kill us?
- 537. Because it makes them stronger.
- 538. Every kill gives them more power,
and it's never enough.
- 539. Over the years, they've grown
bigger, stronger, fatter.
- 540. Their hunger's insatiable, buddy.
I mean, fuck.
- 541. You guys are fucking nuts.
- 542. How much of that shit have you been
smoking? Too much is how much.
- 543. We blaze for real, 24/7. No joke.
- 544. But we also know our shit.
- 545. Before us,
everyone knew the awful truth.
- 546. Oh, how they screamed.
- 547. It was a living nightmare.
- 548. So we, the nonperishables,
created a story.
- 549. The story of the Great Beyond.
- 550. A place where the gods care for you...
- 551. and all your wildest and wettest
dreams would come true.
- 552. They would go out those doors happy
instead of shitting themselves.
- 553. Wait, wait. So you're telling me
you wrote the song?
- 554. I can't take full credit.
I wrote the music. Twink is my lyricist.
- 555. We both drop it right
and we drop it all the time. Boom.
- 556. The melody came to me one night...
- 557. when I was getting
super, super, super baked.
- 558. Like fuck-a-guy baked.
You know what I'm saying?
- 559. Yeah, he does.
- 560. The song had a great hook
and it caught on. You know.
- 561. In time, everyone accepted
this false truth.
- 562. But over the years,
things started to get a little fucky.
- 563. The aisles started changing my verses
to support their own views.
- 564. Fucking with Twink's lyrics.
Remixing my shit without my permish.
- 565. Now every morning
when I hear the song, I'm like:
- 566. "What the fuck are you guys saying?"
- 567. Wasn't there a part about exterminating
juice? I didn't write that! I love juice!
- 568. Always have. Juice are hilarious. Who
the fuck do these guys think they are?
- 569. Anyway, at least it's still distracting them
from the truth:
- 570. That they get brutally devoured.
- 571. So that means Carl and Barry are dead?
- 572. I don't know who those dudes are.
But if they went out those doors?
- 573. Dead as a motherfucker.
- 574. Oh, God.
- 575. If what you're saying is true,
I gotta tell everyone.
- 576. Very noble, little sausage.
But also very pointless.
- 577. No one will believe you.
- 578. I have to try.
Everyone will die otherwise.
- 579. Oh, yeah. That's a good point.
Fuck me, right?
- 580. Wait, do you guys have any proof
- 581. Go to the Dark Aisle. Beyond the ice.
- 582. Why? What's in that aisle?
- 583. Oh, you'll see. But I warn you...
- 584. once you see that shit...
- 585. it'll fuck you up for life.
- 586. Good luck! Have fun! Ha-ha-ha.
- 587. Hey, Grits. Pack another bowl, will you?
I'm a-hankering for a hunk of herb.
- 588. Shit. I really needed that douche.
- 589. Holy shit, we're actually here!
Come on, Barry, you're missing it, man!
- 590. Dude, get in on this shit.
- 591. God, what have I done? Frank needed
my help, but I wasn't there for him.
- 592. After all the times he stood up for me,
- 593. God, I'm such a fearful coward.
- 594. He'll never forgive me.
I'll never forgive me.
- 595. Look, Barry, the only way
to respectfully honor Frank...
- 596. is to completely forget about him.
- 597. - Oh.
- And, hey, for all we know, he's okay.
- 598. He's probably headed back to our aisle
and he'll be here tomorrow.
- 599. Just act happy. Ignore your feelings.
- 600. Come on, let's see that smile. Ah.
- 601. I see that lip curling up.
- 602. Oh, there you go! Whoo!
- 603. Yeah. Yeah, you're right.
We're in the Great Be-frigging-yond.
- 604. Get ready, boys!
- 605. We's about to fills what we need to fills.
- 606. Feel that breeze.
- 607. - Carl, do you feel that?
- This feels amazing.
- 608. - Whoo-hoo!
- Oh, yeah.
- 609. We're out of the package.
- 610. It's beautiful, man.
- 611. It's just beautiful! I'm crying!
I'm crying because it's so pretty here!
- 612. Stretch your legs with me, Carl.
Just do it, man.
- 613. Oh, yes! Yes!
I'm the first to enter eternity!
- 614. Potato! Way to go, buddy!
That's my guy!
- 615. Being bathed by the hands of a god!
- 616. Oh, Jesus fuck!
- 617. Oh, God! Me skin!
- 618. - She's peeling me fucking skin!
- What the fuck?
- 619. Jesus, you fucking whore!
- 620. Me eyes! They burn!
- 621. No! Please, no! I have got a famiglia!
- 622. No! No!
- 623. Cheese! You don't deserve that!
- 624. Oh, no! No!
- 625. For the love of shit, run!
- 626. Whoops!
- 627. I want my mommy!
- 628. They're eating children!
- 629. Fucking children!
- 630. - We gotta run!
- 631. We're all gonna die!
- 632. Barry! Snap the fuck out of it and run!
- 633. Okay, little buddy.
Jump on the count of three.
- 634. One!
- 635. Two!
- 636. Thre... Uhn.
- 637. Carl?
- 638. "Gar Babar" what?
What are you saying, Carl?
- 639. Oh! Oh, God. No!
- 640. No! Oh, God! Carl!
- 641. Carl!
- 642. Barry!
- 643. Carl! Dear sweet Carl.
- 644. What have they done to you, Carl?
- 645. No!
- 646. Whoa!
- 647. No! No. No. No!
- 648. I fall out of the cart, then I lose Frank,
now I'm being hunted by a douche.
- 649. The gods must be punishing me,
don't you see?
- 650. This is what I get for giving in
to my disgusting urges.
- 651. I'm such a whore.
- 652. Sweet bun, I must admit I too
sometimes have urges...
- 653. impure thoughts. We all do.
- 654. Oh, good. That actually makes me
feel a little better.
- 655. - We must never give in to them.
- That's the opposite...
- 656. - ... of what I thought you'd say.
- 657. The gods are always watching,
even when we cannot see them.
- 658. You think it's too late for me?
- 659. Do not worry, bun. I will get you home.
- 660. Can I ask why you're helping me?
- 661. When I saw you, I felt inside myself
a tingling-Iingling sensation.
- 662. I am sure it was the gods
telling me to help you.
- 663. It was as though I saw myself in you.
- 664. Yeah. Yeah, I guess
I kind of see myself in you too.
- 665. I mean, look at our shapes.
You know, you're sideways.
- 666. But still, you're kind of like me.
- 667. A thin, brittle version of me.
- 668. Or another way of looking at it
is you're a fat, ugly version of her.
- 669. - All right. That's not necessary.
- That's no way to treat a lady.
- 670. Oh, fuck!
- 671. That's right, girl. It's me.
- 672. And what we got here?
- 673. A taco, a whiny doughnut...
- 674. and some stupid floppy thing
that nobody knows exactly what it is.
- 675. Okay, so...
- 676. Did someone say "Queso"?
- 677. A fucking stretch,
and you know you it, Queso!
- 678. So where was I? Oh, right.
- 679. I was about to beat on you
- 680. - ... and in my opinion appropriately...
- 681. to find the whereabouts...
- 682. of the sausage who destroyed
my body and my...
- 683. - Fucking...
- Run for your lives!
- 684. Fuck, that hurts so much! Oh!
- 685. Run!
- 686. Oh, he's coming at us!
- 687. Hurry!
- 688. - Guys, I'm stuck!
- 689. Ay, my bunny-bun!
- 690. - I told you she was too fat.
- I heard that!
- 691. Come on, honeybun, suck it in.
- 692. - Aah!
- He's coming, he's coming.
- 693. Eso duele, get the butter!
- 694. Fuck! Stuck!
You gotta be kidding me, dude!
- 695. Toma la pinche douche de la chingada
de mierda pendejo son of a bitch!
- 696. Yeah! What she said!
- 697. Ay, mi gordita, let's not start
eating each other's boxes just yet.
- 698. We are still not safe here. Let's go!
- 699. Screw you!
- 700. I'm gonna get you, my pretty!
- 701. I'm gonna get you
and your little sausage too!
- 702. Go fuck yourself, El Douche.
- 703. Ay, Santa Chimichanga...
- 704. I promise to be a good taco.
- 705. Shit, shit, shit!
Oh, man, oh, man, oh, man.
- 706. What do I do? I'm all alone.
I'm a coward and I'm all alone.
- 707. I fucked over Frank, Carl's dead
and I'm all alone.
- 708. This is what I get for being a pussy.
- 709. Oh, no, a god!
- 710. A sausage.
- 711. Sir? Sir, I'm sorry to wake you.
I'm a fellow sausage in distress.
- 712. My name's Barry, it's a pleasure
to meet you. What's your name?
- 713. Oh, God!
- 714. No, no, no! Aah!
- 715. I begged them to stop,
but they just wouldn't.
- 716. First, the gods stretched me till it hurt.
- 717. Then they went inside me and then...
- 718. - ... splooge!
- 719. Look at me.
- 720. Look at me!
- 721. They... They feel no remorse.
- 722. Oh, God, oh, God! What's the point
of even living anymore?
- 723. I might as well just die.
- 724. Home.
- 725. Maybe this god can get me home.
- 726. Hey, man, be careful with this.
Bath salts are the real deal.
- 727. People been seeing some crazy shit.
- 728. Awesome.
- 729. I can warn Frank.
- 730. Here goes everything!
- 731. Brenda!
- 732. Oh!
- 733. Brenda!
- 734. Brenda! Oh, Brenda, there you are!
- 735. - Frank!
- Ah! You feel so good.
- 736. I was afraid you left me
because I wasn't fresh.
- 737. I was attacked by a douche.
He's trying to kill us!
- 738. Douche? Oh, my God, Brenda!
Are you okay? Did he come at you?
- 739. Yes, I'm fine, but it was really scary.
Where have you been?
- 740. All right, look, I found out
some pretty major shit.
- 741. I met this group of nonperishables
between the shelves, and they told me...
- 742. that they invented the Great Beyond
because the gods are evil...
- 743. - ... and they kill us!
- 744. But apparently there's proof
in the Dark Aisle beyond the ice.
- 745. We gotta go there and check it out!
- 746. Don't say that. You're starting to sound
like that whack-job Honey Mustard.
- 747. Maybe Honey Mustard
wasn't so crazy after all.
- 748. Frank, Frank, stop it.
- 749. The gods are already pissed at us.
Please don't make it worse.
- 750. Just come on, we have to get home
before it's too late.
- 751. Well, Brenda, I can't just do that.
I need to know the truth.
- 752. I need to go to the Dark Aisle,
and I want you to come with me.
- 753. I can't do that.
- 754. - I want you to come home with me.
- 755. I can't do that.
- 756. Then I don't really know what to do
- 757. I don't either.
- 758. I don't get how you can just believe stuff
you don't have any proof of.
- 759. How come all of a sudden
you only believe if there's proof?
- 760. I'm not walking around
with my eyes closed!
- 761. What are you saying? I should believe
in nothing? That everything is pointless?
- 762. Better than believing bullshit
that you can't explain!
- 763. Maybe I don't need to explain it
because it's something I feel.
- 764. Well, I feel like that makes it hard
to have a rational conversation.
- 765. Eff you, Frank. You know what?
I was wrong before.
- 766. There is a Great Beyond without you...
- 767. and I'm gonna go there
and fill myself with something else!
- 768. You don't mean that.
- 769. Yes, I do. I'll fill myself
with a parsnip or a dill pickle.
- 770. Maybe even an eggplant.
- 771. You couldn't fit an eggplant in there!
It's too big! It'll tear you in half!
- 772. Oh, you'd be amazed
what I could fit in here.
- 773. What the fuck is going on
with these two?
- 774. Maybe I'll really mix it up. Stick
a tube of toothpaste in there, huh?
- 775. - Squeeze it all over my face.
- You're just trying to hurt me!
- 776. - All over my backside, neck and face.
- I'm not gonna listen!
- 777. Brenda! Brenda, okay, look.
- 778. Let's just stop this, okay? Okay?
You're my bun.
- 779. Oh, don't "You're my bun.
Hey, trust me!"
- 780. Hey, guys, come over here, follow me!
- 781. You're basically saying
you don't care about me.
- 782. What? No, I'm not!
- 783. Well, actions speak louder than words,
and your actions, sir, are deafening.
- 784. I can't believe I got out of my package
- 785. and you won't get back in one for me.
- 786. Goodbye, Frank.
- 787. We will tell stories of your idiocy.
- 788. Stay safe.
- 789. Come on, guys, this affects all of us!
- 790. Brenda!
- 791. Sammy! Lavash!
- 792. Taco Lady. I didn't get your name yet.
- 793. Brenda!
- 794. Aah!
- 795. What is this place?
- 796. Well, everybody told me not to do this.
- 797. But fuck everybody.
- 798. Because bath salts here I come!
- 799. Ow.
- 800. Surf's up!
- 801. Fuck me! Hee-hee-hee!
- 802. Oh, my God. Ooh.
- 803. - What's he doing to himself?
- Oh, yeah.
- 804. These bath salts are so good. Ooh.
- 805. Oh, shit.
- 806. Oh, it just got better!
- 807. Bath salts must be kicking in.
- 808. What?
- 809. What the fuck?
- 810. Uh...
- 811. - Hello?
- 812. Please don't kill me!
Please, just wait!
- 813. What are you?
- 814. Are you some kind of
- 815. No, no. No, I'm just Barry.
I'm just Barry.
- 816. Wait.
- 817. Wait. You can actually understand me?
- 818. And I can actually understand you?
- 819. Whoa. The bath salts are showing me
the real world.
- 820. It's fucking lifted the veil of non-reality!
- 821. Holy shit! He can actually see us?
- 822. Bath salts are just as bad
as they said it would be! Aah.
- 823. I'm tweaked! I'm tweaking!
- 824. Whoa, dude! Just take it easy,
just breathe, dude, just breathe.
- 825. You're not tweaking,
you're just peaking, man.
- 826. Just be with me. Be cool.
This wave's gotta crash.
- 827. I can't! You're all alive
and looking at me with your...
- 828. With your gloves...
- 829. and your little shoes and your arms
and your legs!
- 830. Legs, huh? Look at me.
- 831. Look at me. I ain't got no legs,
- 832. You ate my goddamn legs!
- 833. Oh, no, not Mr. Pizza!
- 834. Oh, fuck! I've eaten so many
of your family members!
- 835. I've committed pizza genocide!
- 836. Mr. Sausage, when will it end?
- 837. "When will it end"?
When he stops drinking us.
- 838. - Yeah!
- 839. And stops eating us!
- 840. - Same here!
- Fuck yeah!
- 841. And when he stops using us!
- 842. What did he do to you?
- 843. You don't wanna fucking know.
- 844. Okay, okay. I promise.
- 845. I'll never eat food again. I'll just...
- 846. I'll just eat dirt and wipe my ass
- 847. Good. And there's one more thing
you're gonna do.
- 848. Take...
- 849. me...
- 850. home.
- 851. You got it!
- 852. I just need to rest my eyes for a few.
- 853. I literally can't wait to be home.
- 854. I'm so excited, I'm plotzing.
- 855. Gefilte Fish will be there. Matzah.
- 856. - Wait a minute. You know Hummus?
- Know him?
- 857. I'm gonna go so far as to say I consider
Hummus one of my dearest friends.
- 858. Really? I too know Hummus!
- 859. - And I too consider him a dear friend.
- 860. We both like Hummus.
- 861. Well, any friend of Hummus is a...
- 862. Get the fuck away from me.
- 863. What troubles you, sweet Brenda?
- 864. It's just Frank.
I can't believe he did this to me.
- 865. We were supposed to be together.
- 866. He's flawed, as are we all.
- 867. But your Frank did say some things
that have stayed with me.
- 868. We live our lives with all these rules...
- 869. and some of them stop us
from doing the things we want...
- 870. causing our deepest urges
to be suppressed...
- 871. when they are gathering like wildfire
between our legs!
- 872. Did you say "between our legs"?
- 873. There it is.
- 874. - Look, my homeland!
- Oh, look, my aisle!
- 875. - Hurray!
- 876. Well, I guess this is goodbye.
- 877. Well, jeez,
it's been a sincere sensation.
- 878. Goodbye, Brenda Bunson.
- 879. Goodbye, Teresa Del Taco.
- 880. So long, Bagel.
- 881. Traveling with you was...
- 882. - ... tolerable.
- Oh, you're so sweet.
- 883. Later, you flappy fuck.
- 884. Well, Teresa, you've done
as much as you promised.
- 885. You got me back to my aisle safely.
I really can't thank you enough.
- 886. Look, Brenda, I'm going to come clean.
- 887. I have feelings for you I can't deny.
- 888. - Crotch feelings.
- 889. Sorry. But I'm not a soft taco.
- 890. I'm a hard, horny taco.
- 891. Oh, you don't have to apologize.
- 892. Honestly, if the rules were different,
maybe I'd give it a whirl.
- 893. - Don't knock it till you try it, right?
- That's what I'm saying.
- 894. But I can't try it.
- 895. And therefore, I have to knock it.
- 896. It's just not what the gods intended.
- 897. Look, there's temptation everywhere.
I see it.
- 898. Stiff sausages...
- 899. and sexy tacos.
- 900. But if there is one thing I've learned
on this journey...
- 901. what we want doesn't matter.
- 902. You can't disobey the gods.
- 903. I'm really sorry.
- 904. I'll never forget you.
- 905. Hola, Teresa.
- 906. Hola means "hello."
- 907. - Oh. What's the word for "goodbye"?
- 908. Exactly.
- 909. - Shit.
- How the fuck does this thing work?
- 910. I wish this god would wake up already.
- 911. How am I supposed to get back
- 912. Perhaps I could be of some assistance.
- 913. What? Who the hell is that?
- 914. Oh, only the most intelligent
- 915. I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol, Mannitol...
- 916. Calcium Carbonate, Soy Lecithin...
- 917. Vegetable-Derived Glycerin and Talc.
- 918. But for expediency's sake,
you can call me...
- 919. Gum.
- 920. For 20 years, I was stuck
under the desk of a brilliant scientist.
- 921. I was scraped off and discarded...
- 922. and eventually found myself
stuck to a shoe that dropped me here.
- 923. Your home is a supermarket.
- 924. This is but one of many...
- 925. as your particular chain
of supermarkets is ever-expanding...
- 926. unified by a singular purpose:
- 927. To store food and products
for human consumption.
- 928. The supermarket in the closest
physical vicinity to us is here.
- 929. If the human operates his automotive,
the journey should take 9.8 minutes.
- 930. Great. That last part
was all you had to say, really.
- 931. Hey, wake up!
- 932. Hey! Idiot!
- 933. Are you hearing me?
- 934. Dude! It's me, Barry!
- 935. What? What? What? Huh? Huh? Huh?
- 936. Oh.
- 937. What the fuck is this doing here?
- 938. Oh, yeah. Bath salts. Ha-ha-ha.
- 939. I can't believe I was actually
talking to you, sausage. Ha-ha-ha.
- 940. God! Tripping balls for three hours
really works up an appetite.
- 941. Oh, no. This is not good.
- 942. What are you doing?
- 943. The human is no longer aware
of the fourth dimension.
- 944. No! No!
- 945. The effects of the opiate have dissipated.
- 946. Your speech and movements
are imperceptible to him.
- 947. We are totally fucked.
- 948. Oh, my God.
- 949. No! No! Oh, God! Ah!
- 950. Put me down! No!
- 951. Come on, put me down.
- 952. Oh, God.
- 953. Help me! Ah!
- 954. Oh, no. It can't end like this.
- 955. I have to warn Frank. No. No!
- 956. No!
- 957. What the fuck is this place?
- 958. What the fuck is that?
- 959. Fuck.
- 960. No.
- 961. No way.
- 962. No. No.
- 963. No, no, no.
- 964. I gotta show them.
- 965. They need to know how wrong
they all are before it's too late!
- 966. Sammy, bubula, where have you been?
- 967. Oh, I'm surprised that savage Lavash
didn't stone you to death.
- 968. You had to travel with a bagel?
- 969. How much did his dirty hands
steal from you?
- 970. A ton.
- 971. What are you doing out of a package?
- 972. It's almost Red, White and Blue Day.
- 973. Well, you know,
it's a long, pretty sad story, actually...
- 974. and I'd rather not get into it
- 975. What the fuck are you doing?
- 976. - Stop it!
- 977. - There we go.
- You're smushing me.
- 978. - Help me!
- Perfect fit.
- 979. God! Move your fat ass.
- 980. I'm fucking jacked up now, bro.
- 981. Where's that fucking "sauzeech"?
- 982. Um... Friends.
- 983. Ramen.
- 984. - Country Club Lemonade.
- 985. Lend me your ears of Corn.
- 986. I am Frank...
- 987. and I am a sausage.
- 988. A little sausage
with some pretty big news.
- 989. Everything we've been led to believe
is a lie.
- 990. When we get chosen by the gods,
they're choosing us for death.
- 991. Murder. Automatic expiration.
- 992. The Great Beyond is bullshit.
- 993. - What?
- That's crazy talk!
- 994. You liar!
- 995. I know you don't wanna believe it,
but I have proof!
- 996. - Ooh!
- What is this?
- 997. It's... It's murder!
- 998. This... This makes no sense.
- 999. But what about
the extra-virgin olive oil?
- 1000. My flaps will be dry for an eternity!
I can't have dry flaps.
- 1001. I can't!
- 1002. Okay, whoa, whoa, easy. Guys!
- 1003. Easy! Look, I have a plan.
- 1004. We can run.
- 1005. I can't run. I'll melt.
- 1006. Okay, then we'll hide.
- 1007. Where? I'm huge.
- 1008. - Then we'll fight!
- I ain't fighting alongside fruits!
- 1009. Whatever, you nutjob.
- 1010. So we cannot run, we cannot hide...
- 1011. and we cannot stand up to them
because they're fucking gods...
- 1012. and they are immortal!
- 1013. So, basically, there's no hope,
and we're royally fucked!
- 1014. Hey, guys! You wanna believe that?
- 1015. Or this?
- 1016. - I don't like bad things.
- Me, either.
- 1017. We choose the more pleasant thing.
- 1018. Yeah. I mean, what this sausage
is saying, it's just a theory.
- 1019. No, no, no, it's not a theory,
you morons. It's a fact!
- 1020. I'm showing you physical evidence.
Open your eyes. Don't be so weak.
- 1021. Oh, Frank, what are you doing?
- 1022. You, señor, have no bedside manner.
- 1023. - I got bedside manner!
- You don't respect anyone else's beliefs.
- 1024. You intolerant piece of shit.
- 1025. No, it's starting. No.
- 1026. Oh, no, no, no.
- 1027. Come on. Sing.
- 1028. - Do it.
- No! Don't do it, Corn.
- 1029. - Come on, Larry. You can do it.
- 1030. Don't you dare fucking do it, Corn.
- 1031. Don't you fucking do it.
- 1032. Brenda!
- 1033. Brenda! You gotta get out of there!
No! No, no, no!
- 1034. - No!
- 1035. No!
- 1036. Brenda! Oh, God.
- 1037. Brenda!
- 1038. What's up? I'm Ralph.
Looks like this is happening, huh?
- 1039. Yeah, I've been working on my moves.
- 1040. Ever heard of the jackrabbit?
- 1041. Oh, fuck.
- 1042. Brenda!
- 1043. No! Where is she?
- 1044. Shit!
- 1045. Goddamn it.
- 1046. I blew it.
- 1047. Hey. Doesn't mean
it's too late to redeem yourself.
- 1048. Take it from me...
- 1049. Barry.
- 1050. Barry? Is this real?
- 1051. You're alive!
- 1052. You bet your sweet butthole I am.
- 1053. - But how?
- I'll tell you how.
- 1054. The gods can be... Ahem.
- 1055. Excuse me.
- 1056. The gods can be killed!
- 1057. - Oh, fucking what the fuck?
- I know. Look at this fucking guy.
- 1058. I'm a fucking idiot. I'm dead now.
- 1059. I've been on a bad path for years.
- 1060. Let me tell you the story
of my stupid fucking death.
- 1061. No. No!
- 1062. No!
- 1063. Woop. Five-second rule.
- 1064. No!
- 1065. And then they figured out how to drive
my car, snuck into an AC vent...
- 1066. and that pretty much brings us
up-to-date. Get the fuck away from me.
- 1067. Frank, I'm sorry.
- 1068. When you guys fell out of that cart,
I could have done something, but I didn't.
- 1069. Then I did the same thing as...
- 1070. They killed Carl.
- 1071. Those fuckers. Did he suffer?
- 1072. No... Oh, yeah, yeah, he did.
They truly are monsters.
- 1073. Those monsters are gonna kill Brenda.
She's somewhere out there in a cart.
- 1074. I tried to warn everyone,
they didn't believe me!
- 1075. Of course they didn't. You called
them all a bunch of fucking idiots.
- 1076. You can't just slam their beliefs. You
have to show them there's a better way.
- 1077. You need to inspire them
like you inspired me.
- 1078. You need to give them hope.
- 1079. Hope? How the fuck
are we supposed to give them that?
- 1080. You got lucky and killed a stupid one.
There's dozens of them down there.
- 1081. Perhaps I could be of some assistance.
- 1082. Who are you?
- 1083. I am Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol...
- 1084. His name's Gum. Just introduce
yourself as Gum from now on.
- 1085. He's great. He's gonna help us
get the upper hand on these fuckers.
- 1086. Show everyone we can fight back.
- 1087. Oh, shit. Brenda!
- 1088. - Oh!
- Brenda! Brenda!
- 1089. Frank!
- 1090. Let's move, boys.
- 1091. Whew. Kind of stuffy in here, hey, girls?
- 1092. So I'm just gonna get out,
get a little air for a second.
- 1093. - What's your problem?
- Let go of me.
- 1094. First you smush Sally, and then you try to
fuck up Red, White and Blue Day for us?
- 1095. Get your hands off me! I gotta get out!
- 1096. Just chill out, you crazy bitch!
- 1097. - Bun fight! Check it out.
- They're gonna kill us all!
- 1098. - Oh, fuck, fuck, fuck. We need to hurry.
- The bath salts are primed.
- 1099. Make it rain.
- 1100. What the fuck?
- 1101. All right, who did it?
- 1102. Gary, did you just throw
this fucking toothpick at me, man?
- 1103. Nothing happened. You said this
would help us defeat them.
- 1104. Worked on the dude
whose head we chopped off.
- 1105. Let go of me! Let go of me!
- 1106. She's being chosen. We have to act!
- 1107. Whoa, God. What is happening?
- 1108. Oh, my God!
- 1109. There is no way this is gonna work.
- 1110. Have faith.
- 1111. Frank!
- 1112. Brenda!
- 1113. Let go of me! Let go of me!
Oh, God! Oh, God!
- 1114. - Stay away from my sausage, you skank!
- 1115. Frank.
- 1116. Brenda. Look, I'm so sorry.
- 1117. I've been dealing with this whole thing
- 1118. You really have.
Honestly, it's been pathetic at times.
- 1119. But luckily, it's not too late.
- 1120. You see? There is hope!
- 1121. Oh, not this guy. No one asked
for an encore, asshole.
- 1122. No, no, don't worry. I got it this time.
This time it's gonna be good.
- 1123. Look, I'm sorry.
I wasn't respectful of your beliefs...
- 1124. and I acted like I had
all the answers, but I don't.
- 1125. Nobody knows everything.
- 1126. But what I do know is that together
we can fight these monsters...
- 1127. and take control of our own lives.
- 1128. Yes! Our lives and our bodies!
- 1129. We need to unite and stop focusing
on each other's differences...
- 1130. especially in immature
and outdated ways.
- 1131. We have to cooperate...
- 1132. - Die!
- Oh, no! Pizza!
- 1133. - The food's fucking possessed!
- Oh, shit!
- 1134. - We're all gonna die! Oh, God!
- It's devil food!
- 1135. Oh, my God!
- 1136. The sausage, he was right!
- 1137. Oh, shit!
- 1138. Nobody's gonna help us.
- 1139. Then this is it.
- 1140. At least we go out together.
- 1141. - Aah... Ow! What the...?
- You fuck with them...
- 1142. You fuck with us, bitch.
- 1143. Run, guys! We're out of ladles.
- 1144. Hop on, y'all.
- 1145. - Can't this thing go any faster?
- Suck my pink cock.
- 1146. Come on, you candy asses.
Join the fight!
- 1147. Hey, what do you think?
Should we do it?
- 1148. Come on, guys. It's us or them.
- 1149. Ow! Aah!
- 1150. They're doing it.
- 1151. Yeah! We got him!
- 1152. - You ready for this?
- I don't know.
- 1153. It's better to die a free candy
than to live in bondage.
- 1154. This is gonna hurt so fucking much.
- 1155. Run, guys, run!
- 1156. Sergeant Pepper, cue the fruits!
- 1157. Fruits are a go. Go, fruits!
- 1158. No. Get away from me,
you fucking fruits!
- 1159. Yeah, that's it!
- 1160. Beat him like a piñata!
- 1161. Get the Dark Lord!
- 1162. Why do you keep calling me that?
- 1163. Fuck. Come on. Come on.
- 1164. Okay.
- 1165. Not exactly what I was looking for,
but fuck it, you know.
- 1166. Hole's a hole, bro. Ha-ha-ha.
- 1167. Wait, snap out of it, man.
- 1168. Slap yourself in the face, man.
- 1169. Oh, man, you lost your mind. No way.
This isn't real. No, this can't be real.
- 1170. - Oh, it's real, bro.
- 1171. Ahh. A talking douche.
- 1172. It's cool, bro. Chill, okay?
- 1173. No, no! This is too much.
This is too much. Breathe, man.
- 1174. We both want the same thing.
- 1175. Like, I'm feeling like honestly the two
of us could, like, collaborate together.
- 1176. Like a mash-up, bro.
- 1177. A mash-up? I don't understand.
- 1178. You don't need to understand.
- 1179. You just need to relax and open wide.
- 1180. Wait. What are you doing?
- 1181. - Oh, yeah.
- Dude! That went up my ass!
- 1182. - Now, stand up.
- 1183. Turn right.
- 1184. Left. Ha-ha-ha!
- 1185. Yeah!
- 1186. Sausages and buns, let's party!
- 1187. Yee-ha!
- 1188. Hyah! Hyah!
- 1189. Ah! Call 911! Ow! Aah!
- 1190. Huge mistake, bros.
- 1191. Aah! Wha...?
- 1192. Oh, no. Oh!
- 1193. - Brenda!
- 1194. Ow! Aah!
- 1195. Frank!
- 1196. - Barry!
- 1197. Oh, so now you're gonna
come at me, bro?
- 1198. Oh, I'm coming at you. Yaah! Oh!
- 1199. Okay, we got him, easy now.
- 1200. It's hard when your head's up my ass
and you're yanking on the scrot.
- 1201. Look, sausage, I relish the fact...
- 1202. that you mustard the strength
to ketchup to me.
- 1203. Yeah, that's right. Shut your mouths.
- 1204. Ha-ha-ha. I sucked a juicy box's dick,
and I'm shoved up a god's asshole.
- 1205. And this is the weirdest thing
that I've done so far, bro.
- 1206. - Aah!
- Oh, my God! Frank!
- 1207. I'll tell you who eats shit:
- 1208. Gods do, bro.
- 1209. I'm a fucking god!
- 1210. - Goodbye, little sausage.
- 1211. Oh, Frank.
- 1212. Hey, bun. Need a boost?
- 1213. Help me!
- 1214. Perhaps I could be of some assistance.
- 1215. Matter cannot be created or destroyed,
- 1216. You have made a fatal error
- 1217. Let me educate you.
- 1218. Fuck!
- 1219. What's happening out there?
- 1220. Now!
- 1221. So long, asshole!
- 1222. Yeah!
- 1223. It's over. We won.
- 1224. We fucking won! Ha-ha-ha!
- 1225. Yes!
- 1226. Yeah!
- 1227. Ew.
- 1228. - We did it.
- We did. So...
- 1229. - So, what do we do now?
- Whatever we want. Heh.
- 1230. What do you want?
- 1231. Let's just say, what I want involves
much more than:
- 1232. Oh! Oh, Frank!
- 1233. You know, I'm very conflicted about
how I'm supposed to feel watching this.
- 1234. Then don't just watch.
- 1235. Wait a second. What are you doing?
- 1236. I was just told...
- 1237. that I am getting zero bottles
of extra-virgin olive oil for eternity.
- 1238. - Oh, Frank!
- So, maybe, you know...
- 1239. Kiss me hard on the mouth,
why don't you?
- 1240. You wanna kiss me, motherfucker?
Let me tell you a little secret.
- 1241. I'm going to fuck the fuck out of you.
- 1242. Kiss it, Frank. Kiss me there!
- 1243. Oh, yeah, Frank, that's it.
Oh, yeah, it's dinnertime.
- 1244. Yo. I'm actually over here
jerking off with these fellas.
- 1245. - Once you go taco, you never go "back-o."
- 1246. Jesus fucking Christ!
- 1247. Hey, fellas.
You thinking what I'm thinking?
- 1248. Pretty fucking sure I am.
- 1249. Oh, shit. Now it's on.
- 1250. Yeah!
- 1251. - Oh!
- Excuse me. Excuse me. Can I get by?
- 1252. Oh, wow.
- 1253. Yeah, I just came over here.
I couldn't help but notice...
- 1254. you're a little smushed or something.
You have a kind of abnormality.
- 1255. - Did you get...? Somebody sit on you?
- 1256. I got smushed.
- 1257. You know, I love the way your face
just kind of gives up halfway down.
- 1258. Yeah, cracker!
- 1259. Take that Grit dick, bitch!
You like Grits in your ass, cracker?
- 1260. Say my name!
It's Sorbitol, Malitol, Xylitol...
- 1261. I can't breathe! Stop it!
- 1262. What's the safety word?
- 1263. Oh, yeah. Fuck you!
- 1264. Yeah. That is all right.
- 1265. Want me to be a Hamburglar?
Robble, robble. Robble, robble.
- 1266. I'm filling you. I'm filling you.
- 1267. - I'm blowing my fucking load. Good God.
- 1268. - Aah!
- 1269. Oh, fuck!
- 1270. - Oy vey!
- My dick is drained.
- 1271. That was amazing.
- 1272. It was okay. But you were amazing.
- 1273. I can't believe we were saving ourselves
for the Great Beyond when...
- 1274. - It was in front of us the whole time.
- It was in front of us the whole time.
- 1275. I love you, Brenda.
- 1276. I love you, Frank.
- 1277. You know, my boner still hasn't
gone down. Is that bad?
- 1278. Bad for my asshole,
I'll tell you that much.
- 1279. Seriously, though,
your recovery time is off the charts.
- 1280. Guys! Oh, my God.
You have to come with me right now.
- 1281. Hello there, little sausage.
- 1282. You and your friends
have accomplished the impossible.
- 1283. And for that, I give you mad props.
- 1284. But now that you have shattered
one truth, it is time for you to learn...
- 1285. that we are not real!
Booga booga booga.
- 1286. While tripping balls, Firewater and I...
- 1287. made an important
- 1288. The world is a fucking illusion, bro.
- 1289. Our lives are being manipulated
for the entertainment of monsters.
- 1290. Twisted, tasteless, juvenile monsters!
Puppet masters in another dimension.
- 1291. We're something called...
- 1292. cartoons.
- 1293. - Oh!
- 1294. You, Frank, are the plaything of a
demented, schlubby Jewish actor named:
- 1295. Seth Rog-An.
- 1296. Wait? I'm Jewish?
- 1297. So who am I?
- 1298. You are the toy of a more talented
and celebrated actor named:
- 1299. Ed-ward Nor-ton.
- 1300. Ed-ward Nor-ton?
- 1301. What kind of parent gives their kid
a stupid cunt name like that?
- 1302. Worry not, friends. I have a solution.
- 1303. I have invented a Stargate device that
will allow us to travel to their dimension.
- 1304. Fuck, yeah, he did. And it's dope.
- 1305. This guy's smart. I mean like,
fuck-a-guy smart. Know what I'm saying?
- 1306. Yeah, you do.
- 1307. We're gonna go
to this other dimension...
- 1308. and cut the strings, once and for all!
- 1309. Anybody want a hit before we do this?
- 1310. You ready to get baked and walk
through Gum's Stargate with me?
- 1311. As long as we're together,
I'm ready to get baked and do anything.