Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (1964)

1. At this time,

2. Station KID-TV brings you the special event of the year,

3. a first in television history.

4. At this very moment, KID-TV has standing

5. by a television crew at Santa Claus' workshop.

6. And in just a few seconds, our special correspondent,

7. Andy Henderson, will bring you a person to person interview

8. with Santa Claus himself, direct from the North Pole,

9. where at the moment, the temperature

10. is 91 degrees below zero.

11. And now KID-TV takes you via Telstar,

12. Andy Henderson at the North Pole.

13. ANDY HENDERSON (ON TV): Hi, kids.

14. This is Andy Henderson at the North Pole.

15. Whoo, it's cold up here.

16. From this spot, there's only one direction you can go,

17. and that's south.

18. Living up here is pretty rough.

19. I don't see how Santa stands it.

20. Since we've been here, we've eaten nothing but frozen food.

21. At least, that's the way it is by the time we get it.

22. And now, let's take a looksee into Santa's workshop.

23. Hello again.

24. Boys and girls, it's just weeks before Christmas,

25. and Santa and his helpers are working overtime to make sure

26. that there's enough toys for the kids all over the world.

27. Santa's a pretty busy man, but I'm

28. sure he'd like to say a few words to you kids.

29. Hello, Santa.

30. Oh, hello, son.

31. Oh, well, hello boys and girls.

32. Hey... oh, Andy, you caught me at a very busy time.

33. Well, uh, you

34. think you'll be ready by Christmas Eve?

35. Well, we've never

36. disappointed the kids yet.

37. Tell me, is it true that this year,

38. there's a rumor that you're going to use a rocket sled?

39. No sir-ee.

40. We're going out the good old fashioned way,

41. with my reindeer... Prancer and Dancer, and Donner and Blitzen,

42. and Vixen and Nixon... hey, Nixon?

43. Oh, where'd I get... Oh, I always... confound it.

44. I get those names mixed up.

45. But the kids know their names.

46. MRS. Santa, there you are.

47. We have so much to do, and you stand here

48. dawdling, talking to this visitor.

49. Mr. Anderson, this is Mrs. Claus.

50. Uh, well, dear, we're on television.

51. MRS.How do you do, Mr. Anderson.

52. Ma'am.

53. MRS. Now, I want you

54. to go and finish painting those hobby horses.

55. Television?

56. Did you say we're on television?

57. Oh, oh dear.

58. Oh, why didn't you tell me?

59. Oh, my hair's a mess.

60. Mm-mm... H-hello there.

61. Oh, oh!

62. Come along, Mr. Anderson,

63. and I'll show you some of the new toys we're turning out.

64. How's it going, Winky?

65. Everything is A-OK, Santa.

66. Good man.

67. Winky is in charge of our space department.

68. Ah.

69. Oh, now here,

70. here is the latest toy rocket.

71. It runs on real rocket fuel.

72. Really?

73. I've been wondering, what is this strange little creature

74. over here?

75. Oh, uh, Winky made that.

76. That's his idea of a Martian.

77. A Martian?

78. Wow-ee-wow, I'd hate to meet a creature

79. like that on a dark night.

80. Oh-ho-ho.

81. I wonder if there

82. really are people on Mars.

83. Well, who knows.

84. Well, if there

85. are, I hope they have someone like you up there, Santa,

86. to bring joy and good cheer to all the Martian children.

87. Oh, Mr. Anders... Ho-ho-ho.

88. Well, keep going, Winky.

89. Christmas Eve is coming soon.

90. Now Mr. Anderson, I want to show you some more things.

91. Now you...

92. Dropo?

93. Dropo, you lazy, good-for-nothing,

94. where are you?

95. Dropo, Dropo, wake up.

96. Wake up.

97. Oh, please turn off that tickle ray.

98. Stand up.

99. Stand up.

100. Stand up.

101. Stand up.

102. I'm sorry, Ki... Kimar, sir.

103. Dropo, you are the laziest man on Mars.

104. Why are you sleeping during working hours?

105. I wasn't sleeping, Chief.

106. It's just that I haven't been able to sleep

107. these last few nights.

108. I forgot how.

109. So I was just practicing.

110. Well I suggest you practice doing your work.

111. Where's Lady Momar?

112. Oh, she went to the food pill center

113. to get some new food pills.

114. The children haven't been eating well.

115. No appetite at all.

116. Oh, it's no wonder.

117. They sit in front of the video set all day,

118. watching those ridiculous Earth programs.

119. It confuses them.

120. Where are they?

121. Oh, in there watching Earth programs.

122. Say, Santa, what have we here?

123. These are new dolls.

124. Now, this little doll walks, talks, cries,

125. and she even sings.

126. Almost like a real, live little girl.

127. That she is sir, that she is.

128. All she needs is tender loving care.

129. Bomar, what is a doll?

130. I don't know, Girmar.

131. What is tender loving care?

132. I don't know, either.

133. Bomar, Girmar, I told you not to watch

134. those silly Earth programs.

135. Now go to sleep.

136. Must we go to sleep now, Father?

137. I want to see Santa Claus some more.

138. I want to see more toys.

139. No.

140. Go to sleep.

141. Hello, Dropo.

142. I see you're keeping busy.

143. Oh, I've been working very hard, Lady Momar.

144. I've been vacuuming the room.

145. Good.

146. Is the master here?

147. Oh, he's in there.

148. And Kimar is very angry, too.

149. Kimar, I bought some new food pills.

150. I hope the children will eat these.

151. We have hamburger, buttered asparagus, mashed potatoes,

152. and a special treat for them, chocolate layer cake pills.

153. Momar, I'm worried about our children.

154. So am I. They've hardly eaten a thing in three days.

155. It goes deeper than that.

156. They're behaving strangely.

157. They appear to be troubled.

158. They don't care to sleep.

159. I had to use the sleep spray on them again.

160. I mentioned this to my council chiefs today,

161. and I learned it's the same with children all around the planet,

162. in every district.

163. Something is happening to the children of Mars.

164. Kimar, as the leader of the Martians,

165. you must do something about it.

166. I know, but what?

167. Why don't you go to the forest and see

168. Chochem, the ancient one.

169. He'll know what to do.

170. He's never failed you.

171. You speak wisely.

172. I will go.

173. Attention, council chiefs.

174. Please report.

175. COUNCIL CHIEF (ON Lomas reporting.

176. COUNCIL CHIEF (ON Rigna reporting.

177. COUNCIL CHIEF (ON Hargo here.

178. Voldar?

179. Voldar, please report.

180. COUNCIL CHIEF (ON Voldar reporting.

181. Gentlemen of the council, we will meet immediately

182. at Chochum's Chair in Thunder Forest.

183. What's wrong now, Kimar?

184. I don't know, Voldar.

185. But I mean to find out.

186. Where's Kimar?

187. He should be here any moment.

188. What's this all about?

189. We'll find out when Kimar arrives.

190. We are probably going to seek the advice of Chochum.

191. What does Kimar think we are, a kindergarten class?

192. Can't we make our own decisions?

193. Must we always come crawling to that old man?

194. Chochum is 800 years old.

195. You can't dismiss the wisdom of centuries.

196. I can.

197. Gentlemen.

198. Thank you for coming.

199. Chochum?

200. Chochum, are you here?

201. Ancient One of Mars, I call upon you.

202. Chochum, it is I, Kimar, and the council chiefs.

203. We need you, Chochum.

204. You called me, Kimar?

205. We need your advice, Chochum.

206. Something is wrong with our children.

207. They eat not.

208. They sleep not.

209. Their only interest is watching meaningless Earth

210. programs on the video.

211. Wh-wh-what time of year is it now?

212. It is the middle of Septober.

213. No, no.

214. Not here.

215. I mean on Earth.

216. Ah, yes.

217. It is early December on Earth.

218. Close to the time of the Christmas.

219. That explains it.

220. What is a Christmas?

221. It is an occasion for great joy and peace on the planet Earth.

222. And for children, it is also a time of anticipation,

223. as they await the arrival of Santa Claus and his gifts.

224. Bah, what nonsense.

225. What has this to do with our children, Ancient One?

226. We have no children on Mars.

227. They have children's bodies, but with adult minds.

228. They do not have a childhood.

229. I've seen this coming for centuries.

230. They are born.

231. Our electronic teaching machines are attached to their brains

232. while they are in their cradles.

233. Information is fed into their minds in a constant stream.

234. And by the time they can walk, they are adults.

235. They've never played.

236. They've never learned to have fun.

237. And now, now they are rebelling.

238. What do you advise?

239. The children must be allowed to be children again.

240. They must learn to play.

241. They must learn what it means to have fun.

242. We need a Santa Claus on Mars.

243. Santa Claus on Mars?

244. Where will we get a Santa Claus?

245. There's only one Santa Claus, and he's on Earth.

246. Well, I guess that takes care of that.

247. Didn't I tell you it was a foolish idea

248. to seek advice from that old man?

249. This is a serious matter, Voldar.

250. And desperate problems require desperate deeds.

251. Earth has had Santa Claus long enough.

252. We will bring him to Mars.

253. I'm against it.

254. Our children are fine the way they are.

255. I don't want any Santa Claus bringing them toys and games.

256. They'll start playing and laughing

257. and running under foot.

258. They'll become a nuisance.

259. I've made my decision.

260. We leave for Earth tonight.

261. Rigna, Lomas, prepare spaceship number one.

262. Approaching projected Earth orbit.

263. Fire port side rockets number one and number two.

264. Port side rockets number one and number two, fired.

265. Entering Earth orbit.

266. All right, Voldar.

267. Now to find Santa Claus.

268. Turn on your magnascope to third power.

269. We're over a city of some kind.

270. So that's what the Earth people call a city, eh?

271. How primitive.

272. Look at all those buildings above ground.

273. Why, we could destroy that city with one blast of our Q-ray.

274. We've not come here to destroy anyone.

275. Our only purpose is to bring Santa Claus back to Mars.

276. Turn to fifth power.

277. Let's see if we can locate Santa Claus.

278. He wears a red suit, trimmed with white fur,

279. and he has a long white beard.

280. But there are millions of people down there.

281. It's like looking for a speck of space dust in a comet's tail.

282. Wait a minute.

283. I see him.

284. I see Santa Claus.

285. I see him, too.

286. He's standing on the corner, ringing a bell.

287. No he's not.

288. He's standing near the entrance of a large building,

289. next to a large black kettle.

290. He's standing on the corner, Kimar.

291. He's... wait a minute.

292. I see another one.

293. Why, there are hundreds of Santa Clauses down there.

294. Are we going to bring them all back with us to Mars?

295. Just one.

296. And with so many, they won't miss one.

297. Prepare for landing on next orbit.

298. NEWS ANCHOR (ON TV): We interrupt

299. our program with a special bulletin.

300. An unidentified object has been spotted

301. in orbit around the Earth.

302. The Soviet Union denies it has launched

303. any new space satellites.

304. Our radar stations are tracking the spaceship,

305. or whatever it is.

306. The US Air Force has alerted all defense

307. commands and retaliatory units.

308. Stay tuned for further bulletin.

309. Sir, Earth radar beams are bouncing off our ship.

310. Well, it certainly took them long enough.

311. Voldar, turn on the radar shield.

312. Dysfunctioning of radar shield.

313. Rigna, check the radar box.

314. Radar shield functioning.

315. What was wrong, Rigna?

316. A slight case of Dropo.

317. Oh, hi Chief.

318. What are you doing here, Dropo?

319. Oh, well, Chief, I went to the launching pad

320. so I could say goodbye to you, and I remembered,

321. I've never been to Earth!

322. So I thought I wanted to see...

323. I may leave you there in place of Santa Claus.

324. Now get below.

325. I'll deal with you later.

326. Dropo, get below quickly.

327. Yes chief.

328. Yes.

329. Yes chief.

330. I'm sorry.

331. Prepare to land.

332. We'll set down in that field near the lake.

333. Rocket silencers set.

334. Rotor rockets number one and two, fire.

335. All this trouble over a fat little man in a red suit.

336. Here is another UFO bulletin.

337. The Defense Department has just announced

338. that the unidentified flying object has suddenly

339. disappeared from our radar screen.

340. They believe the object has either disintegrated in space,

341. or it may be a spaceship from some other planet, which

342. has the ability to nullify our radar beams.

343. Because of the ominous situation,

344. the president has ordered the Strategic

345. Air Command into action.

346. Fire retro rockets Number 5 and 6

347. Retro rockets 5, and 6, Fire.

348. Lower landing legs.

349. Landing legs lowered.

350. Attention crew, This is Kimar.

351. When we've landed...

352. Rigna, Voldar and I will leave the ship to investigate.

353. Hargo, Lomas, and Dropo, will stay on board on constant alert for immediate blastoff.

354. The Defense Department

355. believes that the object spotted on our radar screens

356. might have been nothing more than a meteor which burned up

357. when it entered our atmosphere.

358. Professor Von Green, our leading space expert,

359. is still convinced it was a Martian spaceship.

360. Stay tuned for further bulletins.

361. Billy, what does a Martian look like?

362. I don't know.

363. Nobody's ever seen one.

364. I don't believe there are any Martians.

365. You don't, huh?

366. What would you do if a Martian walked right up behind you?

367. I'd scream.

368. Ah, stop doing that.

369. I'm trying to sleep.

370. I see a Martian.

371. Boy, you and your imagination.

372. Come on, let's go home.

373. Who... who are you?

374. We're from Mars.

375. Don't be afraid.

376. We have children just like you on Mars.

377. What are those funny things sticking out of your head.

378. Those are our antenna.

379. Are you a television set?

380. Shh.

381. Stupid question.

382. Is this what you want to do to our children on Mars?

383. Turn them into nincompoops like these?

384. Hold your tongue, Voldar?

385. What's your name, little boy?

386. Billy.

387. Billy Foster, sir.

388. And this is my sister, Betty.

389. Well perhaps you can help us, Billy.

390. We're looking for one of your Santa Clauses.

391. There's only one Santa Claus.

392. We've seen many of them in your cities.

393. Oh.

394. Those are his helpers.

395. There's only one real Santa Claus.

396. And he's in his workshop up at the North Pole.

397. That's what we came here to find out.

398. Let's go.

399. Come on, you two.

400. Let me go!

401. Where are you taking us?

402. Leave them alone, Voldar!

403. What?

404. And leave them here to inform the authorities?

405. He's right, Kimar.

406. We'd better take them along with us to North Pole.

407. Very well.

408. Come along.

409. This morning, two children

410. disappeared mysteriously in the vicinity of Welsh Lake.

411. The police have found no clues.

412. And it seems as though Billy and Betty Foster

413. have simply vanished into thin air.

414. This appears to be a day when everything

415. is vanishing into thin air.

416. While local police are continuing their search

417. for the missing children, the armed forces

418. are continuing their search for the mysterious object

419. from space.

420. All right, Billy and Betty.

421. Nobody here.

422. Come on in.

423. Golly.

424. Now, I'm not supposed to bring you here.

425. The chief's going to be awful mad if he finds us.

426. Boy, wait 'til the kids at home find

427. that I was in a real Martian spaceship.

428. No... no, don't touch anything.

429. Now, here.

430. That's the anti-gravity generator.

431. And these are the retro rockets.

432. Does this light up?

433. Only when radar waves are bouncing off our ship.

434. Then we put up this radar screen.

435. Then nobody can find us in space.

436. Boy, that's pretty sharp.

437. Yep.

438. What's this, Dropo?

439. Oh, that's the elevator signal.

440. That light starts flashing when somebody's

441. coming up from the navigation deck.

442. Oh... oh, oh.

443. Somebody's coming up.

444. We better get out of here.

445. No, no, no!

446. There's no time for that.

447. Oh, oh, I'm in trouble.

448. Oh, no time.

449. Here.

450. Here, here.

451. Quick.

452. Thinking of taking another nap in the radar box, Dropo?

453. Oh, oh, no sir.

454. As a matter of fact, I was just looking in there

455. to remind myself never to hide in there again.

456. I bet.

457. No.

458. Approaching North Pole.

459. I can see Santa Claus' workshop.

460. Prepare for landing.

461. Hargo, set the rocket silences.

462. Dropo?

463. You stay aboard and guard those children.

464. They must not leave the ship now.

465. Now, or never?

466. What do you mean, Voldar?

467. If we take them with us to Mars,

468. Santa's disappearance would remain a mystery.

469. No one on Earth will ever know that Santa

470. Claus was kidnapped by Martians.

471. Perhaps you're right.

472. Dropo?

473. Yes sir?

474. Get back to those children, and don't

475. let them out of your sight.

476. Understand?

477. Yes, sir I understand.

478. I... I'll keep an eye.

479. We've landed.

480. Secure the ship.

481. Lomas, you remain on guard and have

482. the ship ready for immediate blast off.

483. Rigna, Hargo, Voldar, you'll accompany me.

484. Come.

485. We'll activate Torg.

486. Torg?

487. To capture a roly poly little man like Santa Claus?

488. We don't need Torg.

489. We won't take any chances.

490. Come.

491. Nothing can stop Torg.

492. They're going to kidnap Santa Claus, and us, too.

493. Not if we can help it.

494. We've got to get out of here and warn Santa.

495. What's a Torg?

496. I don't know, but I'm not afraid of it.

497. It's not going to stop us.

498. Come on.

499. Wait, Betty.

500. Why did you do that?

501. If this ship ever leaves Earth, we'll

502. have the whole US Space Force after them.

503. Come on.

504. Wait a minute.

505. Come on.

506. Come on, Betty.

507. This action must take place swiftly.

508. We can't afford to make any mistakes.

509. Hargo, you cover the rear of the workshop.

510. Rigna, Voldar, cover the front entrance.

511. I'll direct Torg.

512. Voldar isn't here.

513. Rigna, go up and tell Voldar... Voldar,

514. this is another one of your delaying tactics.

515. You've been opposing me at every turn.

516. Now I'm warning you, change your attitude.

517. You finished, Chief?

518. Yes I am.

519. And you will be, too, if you're not careful.

520. Oh, but I am carefully, Chief.

521. So careful that I looked in at the children

522. before I left the ship.

523. You stay away from those children.

524. That will be easy to do.

525. They've escaped.

526. Voldar, if this is your idea of a joke...

527. Ask Dropo.

528. They overheard our plans.

529. At this very moment, they're on their way to Santa Claus

530. to warn him.

531. It's true, Kimar.

532. Their footprints.

533. We must stop them.

534. Those children mustn't reach Santa Claus.

535. Follow them.

536. I'll put Torg on the trail.

537. Torg, come out of the spaceship.

538. Torg.

539. Come out of the spaceship.

540. Billy, I can't run anymore.

541. I'm cold.

542. And I'm tired.

543. And it's beginning to snow.

544. Please, Betty.

545. Try.

546. We've got to warn Santa.

547. We can't stop now.

548. They might catch us.

549. Where is Santa?

550. I don't know.

551. His workshop must be somewhere around here.

552. Betty, look.

553. It's Voldar.

554. He's the mean one, the one who doesn't like us.

555. Come on.

556. Get back.

557. Don't move, Betty.

558. I'll go take a look.

559. It's all right now, Betty.

560. Come on.

561. I'm cold.

562. I wish it wouldn't snow.

563. That's the best thing that could happen.

564. It'll cover our tracks and be harder for the Martians

565. to find us.

566. And it'll be harder for us to find Santa's workshop.

567. I'm scared.

568. We'll find it.

569. Which way is north?

570. I see it!

571. I see it!

572. Santa's workshop.

573. Where?

574. Right there.

575. See the light?

576. Where?

577. The lights are moving.

578. They're coming towards us.

579. Betty, that's not Santa's house.

580. Wha... What is it?

581. I don't know.

582. Good work, Torg.

583. Now destroy them.

584. Crush them.

585. Crush them, Torg.

586. Do as I say.

587. Voldar, I knew you'd try something like this.

588. I set Torg's controls so he will obey only me.

589. Release them, Torg.

590. You were very lucky.

591. Now don't try to escape again.

592. You may not be so lucky next time.

593. Hargo, take them back to ship, lock them up, and rejoin us.

594. You won't get away with this, you... you Martian!

595. The danger grows with every minute.

596. Let's get Santa Claus and blast off.

597. We'll surround the workshop and send Torg in to get Santa.

598. Nobody is to be harmed unless they get in our way.

599. Right.

600. No one is to be harmed.

601. What has happened to the great warriors of our planet?

602. Mars used to be the planet of war.

603. Mark my words, Kimar, your softness will destroy us.

604. Santa Claus, toys, games, laughing children.

605. Well we shall see.

606. But for now, to your posts.

607. Torg, follow me.

608. Get him, Torg.

609. You can't come in here.

610. No one's allowed.

611. Well, where did you come from?

612. You're the biggest toy I've ever seen.

613. And very well, made too.

614. By the great dog star, Santa's treating him like a toy.

615. Get him, Torg.

616. Grab him.

617. He's become a toy.

618. Rigna, we'll have to get Santa ourselves.

619. Come on, Voldar.

620. What have we here?

621. More toys?

622. Those are Martians.

623. Santa Claus, you're coming with us.

624. No.

625. You can't take him now.

626. It's too near Christmas.

627. Quiet, you.

628. But...

629. We don't want to hurt you, Santa Claus,

630. so come along quietly.

631. Why... why did you have to do that to my helper?

632. It's harmless.

633. It'll wear off in a short while.

634. Oh.

635. Well, why didn't you say so in the first place?

636. Now you come with us.

637. We need you on Mars.

638. Are you sure this is harmless?

639. Oh, I never saw such lazy people,

640. standing around like statues.

641. There's work to be done.

642. Let's get to it.

643. Oh me, oh my, oh me, oh... oh, Mrs. Claus

644. is going to be very angry about this.

645. Take him, Torg.

646. Torg, take him.

647. Obey my command.

648. Forget it, Kimar.

649. Rigna was right.

650. He's nothing but a toy now.

651. Best to leave him here.

652. Believe me, I had nothing whatsoever to do about this.

653. You know my dear, I can't recall a time

654. when you were so silent for so long.

655. Let's go, old man.

656. And Mrs. Santa Claus has positively

657. identified the kidnappers as Martians.

658. Never in the history of mankind have the nations of the world

659. reacted with such unanimity and cooperation.

660. Tonight the lights will burn until dawn in the United

661. Nations building as the leaders of the world

662. a map of course of action.

663. And at Cape Kennedy, our correspondent

664. interviewed Von Green,

665. the man in charge of America's Starshot program.

666. Mr. Von Green,

667. what is the space agency doing about this?

668. Well, they have mobilized all the men

669. and equipment in our Starshot project.

670. And we have rushed our astronauts

671. into an intensive program for the final phase

672. of their training.

673. Now, our Starshot ship is supposed

674. undergo six months of test flights.

675. But we are going to forget about the testing

676. and go after those Martian monkeys.

677. Isn't that risky?

678. Of course it is risky.

679. But every one of our astronauts is begging for the chance

680. to go after the Martians.

681. Who wouldn't give everything to bring

682. Santa back to our children?

683. Earth hasn't reacted yet.

684. No radar beams being bounced off our ship.

685. Looks like we made a clean getaway.

686. How's our captive?

687. He's having the time of his life.

688. He's such a funny little man.

689. Why, I've only been with him for five minutes,

690. and he has me laughing just like an Earthling.

691. What's soft, and round, and you put it on a stick,

692. and... and you toast it in a fire, and it's green?

693. I don't know, what?

694. A Martian-mallow.

695. That's what you're all becoming... Martian-mallows.

696. Soft.

697. Weak.

698. That old man is a menace.

699. And it was a very foggy Christmas Eve.

700. Well I could barely make out this chimney in the fog.

701. But I found it alright, and I started to crawl in.

702. Well I tell you it was the biggest chimney I'd ever been in.

703. And then suddenly...

704. Suddenly I realized...

705. It wasn't a chimney at all.

706. It was the smoke stack of the Queen Elizabeth.

707. Well don't you think that was funny?

708. Yea Santa

709. Ugh..wh.. why don't you laugh?

710. Gee, Santa, it's all our fault.

711. We told them where to find you.

712. Oh, balderdash and a fiddle-dee-dee, Billy boy.

713. Everybody knows where Santa lives.

714. Besides, I've always wanted to visit Mars.

715. Mommy and Daddy are going to be angry.

716. You think that's something?

717. I can just see Mrs. Claus now.

718. Christmas coming, and I'm not there.

719. She'll have a fit.

720. Oh me oh my oh me.

721. Come and get it.

722. Dinner time.

723. Here's Dropo.

724. If I can't cheer you up, Dropo can.

725. He always makes me laugh.

726. Oh, you'll have a wonderful dinner tonight.

727. Oh, there's soup, and beef stew, and chocolate ice cream.

728. No thank you, Dropo.

729. I'm not hungry.

730. Come on, Billy.

731. Oh.

732. Well, is it all right if I have your chocolate ice cream?

733. Sure.

734. Oh, I just love chocolate ice cream.

735. Kimar, look at this.

736. That small blip is not an asteroid.

737. It's a spaceship, and it's on our tail, getting closer.

738. Impossible, Rigna.

739. They couldn't have spotted us.

740. We have our radar shield on.

741. I know that sir, but they are gaining on us.

742. Is it possible Earth has a secret device that

743. can penetrate our radar shield?

744. They have a secret device, and his name is Billy Foster.

745. I warned you that these Earthlings are dangerous.

746. They'll destroy us if we allow them.

747. Well I won't allow them.

748. I think we underestimate the resourcefulness

749. of these Earth people.

750. Very clever of the boy.

751. Make the repairs, Rigna.

752. I'll take evasive action.

753. Well.

754. And how is Santa, and the little Earthlings.

755. My, it must be tiresome cooped up in this little room.

756. Say, how would you like to see the rest of the ship?

757. You're not fooling me.

758. You don't like us.

759. You're mean.

760. Oh, come on now.

761. That's not true.

762. Why, Santa makes everyone feel good, even me.

763. I don't trust you.

764. Now, now, Billy boy.

765. That's not the Christmas spirit.

766. Why, of course, Voldar.

767. We'd love to take the grand tour.

768. All right, children.

769. This room is called...

770. Airlock.

771. That's right.

772. Sure.

773. This is where you come when you're

774. ready to go out in space.

775. It's airtight.

776. You put on your space suit, and go out through that door.

777. When you come back, the door closes,

778. and they pump air back into the room through there.

779. When it reaches the pressure of the rest of the ship,

780. you can take your space suit off.

781. Smart lad.

782. Well, where's the control that opens the door?

783. Not here.

784. That's in the control deck.

785. You see, once you pull that switch,

786. the warning bell sounds, and in 60 seconds, that door opens.

787. Santa, that clock stopped.

788. 60 seconds.

789. That must be the door timer.

790. Santa, he locked us in.

791. Oh, I don't think so.

792. He probably just stepped out for a moment.

793. It's locked.

794. I don't trust Voldar.

795. He's not like Kimar and the others.

796. I don't like him.

797. I'm worried, Santa.

798. Now, now, children, let's not get excited.

799. It's Voldar.

800. He's going to open the space door.

801. Help, Kimar!

802. Kimar!

803. Help!

804. Gee, Santa, what are we going to do?

805. Once that door opens, we haven't got a chance.

806. Eh.

807. Where'd you say this leads to, Billy?

808. Seven six, five, four, three, two, one, zero.

809. Who's in the airlock?

810. No one, now.

811. What's going on, Voldar?

812. Oh, Chief, Santa and the children are missing.

813. Where are they?

814. Drifting around in space, along with the rest

815. of the space junk.

816. Before I'm through with you, Voldar,

817. you'll wish you were floating around out there in space.

818. Merry Christmas, everyone.

819. Santa Claus, you're all right.

820. I... I thought you were...

821. Well, when Voldar accidentally left in the airlock,

822. and then came up here and accidentally threw the door

823. switch, we knew we had to get out of there in a hurry,

824. or that would be the end of us... Eh, accidentally, of course.

825. So we crawled up through the air duct.

826. The air duct.

827. But the air duct is just a little,

828. and... and you're so big.

829. Well, you're talking to Santa Claus, son.

830. But, how...

831. Well, well now, you wouldn't want me to tell my secret,

832. would you?

833. Oh... oh, oh, poor man.

834. He's fainted, just like someone who's seen a ghost.

835. Begin landing operation.

836. (SINGING) Jingle bells, jingle bells,

837. jingle all the way.

838. Oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh.

839. Uh, Merry Christmas, Voldar.

840. All right, on your feet, come on.

841. Dropo!

842. Oh, whoa... I was handing him food pills through the bars,

843. and he grabbed my wrists...

844. Shut up, Dropo.

845. Kimar, come in quickly.

846. Kimar?

847. Yes, Rigna?

848. Voldar has escaped.

849. What?

850. He's gone.

851. That can only mean trouble.

852. Put a constant guard on Santa and the Earth children.

853. Voldar will be back.

854. Oh, Kimar.

855. Are you alone?

856. No.

857. Well.

858. Earthlings... Billy and Betty.

859. Welcome to our home.

860. There's someone else, too.

861. Oh?

862. Come on.

863. Come on in.

864. Lady Momar.

865. I'm not accustomed to entering people's homes

866. through the door, but you have no chimney.

867. Welcome, Santa Claus.

868. We hope you'll make the children on Mars very happy.

869. I'll try, dear lady.

870. I'll try.

871. Where are they?

872. Well, we'll start with my youngsters.

873. How are they, Momar?

874. The same.

875. Quiet, remote, and very unhappy.

876. They're inside, studying.

877. Well, let old Santa say hello to them.

878. And I'm sure these children would like to meet them.

879. I'll tell them you're here.

880. Y over 5 pi r squared to determine the correct orbit

881. from Mars to Jupiter, traveling along Vector

882. A through the 17th quadrant at the power of 12 megatrons.

883. Father!

884. Father, we missed you.

885. I missed you, too.

886. Children, I brought some visitors from Earth.

887. Will you come in please, children?

888. Billy and Betty, this is Bomar and Girmar.

889. Hi.

890. There's nothing in it.

891. What are you giving me?

892. My hand, to shake.

893. How old are you?

894. 10.

895. I'm 10, too.

896. And Girmar's eight.

897. So is my sister.

898. We have another Earth person that wants to see you.

899. What's that?

900. They're laughing.

901. Bomar and Girmar, too.

902. They've never laughed before.

903. Come.

904. I can't believe it.

905. That's the first time in months they've

906. gone to sleep without the sleep spray.

907. Santa, tomorrow we'll set up a workshop for you.

908. It won't be exactly the same as the one you have on Earth,

909. but I'm sure it'll serve your purpose.

910. Good, good.

911. Now, I'd like to get going and have the toy shop operating

912. full blast, so as I can return to Earth for Christmas.

913. You know, Mrs. Claus is a very good-natured woman, but...

914. Santa Claus, you will never return to Earth.

915. Wha...

916. Now you belong to Mars.

917. Ho, ho, ho.

918. Well, we've no time to lose.

919. We must go into action.

920. Now we cannot eliminate Santa Claus,

921. but we can just discredit him, make him

922. a laughingstock throughout Mars.

923. Come on.

924. Now listen, carefully.

925. That workshop closes at 10 o'clock.

926. The guards will be at Kimar's house, guarding Santa Claus.

927. Now this is what we'll do, see?

928. You take...

929. Two dolls.

930. Two dolls.

931. Yes, Betty.

932. Three baseball bats.

933. Three baseball bats.

934. Look at me, Santa Claus, the great toymaker,

935. pressing buttons.

936. That's automation for you.

937. Technology, oi.

938. Well, that's enough for today.

939. Let's close up shop!

940. OK, Santa.

941. OK, Santa.

942. Boy, we sure did a lot today.

943. Yes, well, there's another day gone, children.

944. As they say on Earth, another day, another dollar.

945. Well, hello, Santa.

946. How are you feeling today?

947. Tired?

948. No, no.

949. I'm not tired.

950. But my finger is.

951. It's been pressing buttons all day long.

952. Well, I think I'll go in and put my finger to bed.

953. Here, children.

954. Here's your milk.

955. You can play for half an hour, and then

956. you'll have to go to bed.

957. Daddy, may we watch the Earth program?

958. Certainly, dear.

959. But only for half an hour.

960. Billy?

961. Betty?

962. Don't you want to watch the Earth programs?

963. Oh, no sir.

964. We're not interested in Earth programs.

965. I'm going to sleep.

966. Goodnight.

967. Me, too.

968. Just a moment.

969. Goodnight, Mr. Kimar.

970. Goodnight, Lady Momar.

971. Just a moment, children.

972. Are you feeling well?

973. Oh, we feel fine, sir.

974. Goodnight.

975. Goodnight.

976. Has someone been mistreating you?

977. Oh, no sir.

978. You and Lady Momar have just been swell to us.

979. Goodnight.

980. What could it be, Momar?

981. They're behaving the way our children used to behave.

982. Can't you tell, Kimar?

983. They're homesick.

984. They miss their parents, their friends.

985. Kimar, you've got to send those children back.

986. Impossible.

987. Oh, now I'm Santa Claus.

988. Ho, ho, ho.

989. Ho, ho, ho.

990. Merry Christmas everyone!

991. Ho, ho, ho.

992. My finger isn't tired.

993. I think I'll go down to the workshop

994. and make some more toys.

995. Ho, ho, ho. (SINGING) Jingle bells, jingle bells,

996. jingle all the way.

997. Shim, pull the light.

998. No, the light.

999. Oh, ah, this is going shake 'em up.

1000. These toys will never be the same again.

1001. Shh!

1002. Shh!

1003. Shh!

1004. Someone's coming.

1005. Quick, down.

1006. (SINGING) Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.

1007. Oh what fun it is to ride the one horse open sleigh, hey.

1008. What a break.

1009. It's Santa Claus.

1010. He's alone.

1011. No guards.

1012. (SINGING) Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.

1013. Oh what fun it is to ride... oh, oh, oh.

1014. Now stay put, my fat little friend.

1015. Hey, Santa.

1016. How do you like this toy?

1017. Ho, ho, ho.

1018. My friend asked you a question.

1019. Answer him.

1020. Ho, ho, ho.

1021. Quiet, Shim.

1022. Put on a nuclear curtain.

1023. Tomorrow marks the end of Operation Santa Claus.

1024. And Mars returns to normal.

1025. Dropo, we're here.

1026. He's hiding, Santa.

1027. Oh, playing hide and seek, eh?

1028. All right, Dropo.

1029. Here we come, ready or not.

1030. He's not here, Santa.

1031. That's funny.

1032. Oh, well, he'll turn up.

1033. Let's get started.

1034. Hey, ho!

1035. Ready?

1036. OK.

1037. Let's go.

1038. One teddy bear and one doll.

1039. One teddy bear and one doll.

1040. Santa, stop the machine!

1041. Look!

1042. The doll has a teddy bear's head,

1043. and the teddy bear has a doll's head.

1044. I can't understand it.

1045. Oh, let's try it again.

1046. What's next, Betty?

1047. One baseball bat.

1048. A baseball tennis... Why, this will never do.

1049. The machine isn't working right.

1050. Oh, dear.

1051. What else, Betty?

1052. A toy train.

1053. A toy train.

1054. Well, all right.

1055. Yes.

1056. Look at that.

1057. Wha... Why, this doesn't make sense.

1058. Well, this never happened when we made toys by hand.

1059. Something very strange is happening here.

1060. Bomar, I think you'd better call your father.

1061. Father?

1062. Father, this is Bomar.

1063. Yes, Bomar?

1064. Father, we're in the toy shop.

1065. Dropo was in here, and there's something

1066. wrong with the toy machine, too.

1067. I'll be right over.

1068. Just a word of warning.

1069. If you got any big ideas, forget them.

1070. If you walk through that nuclear curtain,

1071. you'll be disintegrated like that.

1072. Sabotage Somebody switched all our wiring.

1073. Dropo's gone.

1074. Your suit is missing.

1075. And now, this machine's been sabotaged.

1076. Put them all together, it spells Voldar.

1077. He was here, and he thought Dropo was me.

1078. He's got Dropo.

1079. And I've got to find him.

1080. Poor Dropo.

1081. Surprised to see us?

1082. You're under arrest, Voldar.

1083. Stop playing with toys.

1084. Put it away, Kimar.

1085. We have a weapon that's much more potent than that.

1086. As you may know, we are holding Santa Claus a hostage.

1087. One false move, and your little ho, ho, ho man

1088. will be destroyed.

1089. All right.

1090. What do you want, Voldar?

1091. These are our terms.

1092. First, destroy the toy machine.

1093. Second, we will release Santa Claus

1094. if you promise to send him and the Earthlings

1095. back to their planet.

1096. Third, no more joy through toys nonsense on Mars.

1097. Well?

1098. Well, you win.

1099. Are you sure you have Santa Claus?

1100. You know we have him.

1101. You mean you had him.

1102. How did he get out of the cave?

1103. Shim, that idiot!

1104. A-a-and how'd he get here s-s-so fast?

1105. Santa Claus has powers that you don't know about.

1106. All right.

1107. Arms up.

1108. Rigna, Hargo, Lomas, report.

1109. This is Rigna, Kimar.

1110. Hargo and Lomas are with me.

1111. Good.

1112. I've got Voldar and Stobo.

1113. I'll keep them here in the storeroom of the toy shop.

1114. Rigna, you come here and take them off my hands.

1115. I want Hargo and Lomas to look for a man named Shim.

1116. Tell them to search the caves along the Transverse Canal.

1117. Right, Kimar.

1118. All right, you two.

1119. In there.

1120. All right, you might as well relax.

1121. You're going to be here for a while.

1122. Sit down.

1123. Where are you going?

1124. Ho, ho, ho.

1125. Can't you say anything else but ho, ho, ho?

1126. Ho, ho, ho.

1127. If you're thinking of leaving, Santa, let me remind you.

1128. Once you hit that nuclear curtain,

1129. there won't even be a whisker left.

1130. Ho, ho, ho.

1131. Hey, Santa!

1132. Be careful!

1133. What are you going to do with us?

1134. You're going to stand trial before the council.

1135. I don't think you'll be causing any more trouble.

1136. Well now, I think that should do it, Billy boy.

1137. Close the door, son.

1138. Now, I think we need a little red paint.

1139. And you'll find it in the storeroom.

1140. Sure, Santa.

1141. Yes.

1142. That's a good boy.

1143. This time I'll take care of Santa Claus for good,

1144. and smash that machine.

1145. Santa!

1146. Santa!

1147. Voldar and the other man are in the storeroom,

1148. and they're coming to get you.

1149. Oh, they are, are they?

1150. Yeh... well, maybe they'd like to have some fun with our toys,

1151. and we'll see that they do.

1152. Won't we kids.

1153. Oh-ho, we meet again, eh?

1154. I don't know how you escaped Shim, but you won't escape me.

1155. You're through.

1156. Voldar, why don't you, uh, relax?

1157. You're going to relax... permanently.

1158. You?

1159. Wha... but, you're not here.

1160. You're in there.

1161. Oh, yeah, you're right.

1162. I'm not here.

1163. I'm in there.

1164. Wait a minute.

1165. I'm going to see who Voldar's fighting in there.

1166. What happened?

1167. I don't know what's going on in there,

1168. but I'm going to take care of you myself.

1169. Now... now, just a minute.

1170. Now I'd like to talk to... Oh, boy,

1171. Chief, am I glad to see you.

1172. All right, inside, Stobo.

1173. All right, kids, you can stop now.

1174. I said cease fire.

1175. All right, Rigna.

1176. Take them away.

1177. They've had a rough day.

1178. Ho, ho, ho, everybody.

1179. Merry Christmas!

1180. You don't need me here, Kimar.

1181. You've got a wonderful Santa Claus of your own.

1182. Ho, ho, ho!

1183. Goodbye, Billy.

1184. Goodbye.

1185. Goodbye, Betty dear.

1186. You take care of yourself.

1187. Bye.

1188. I've got something for you, Billy.

1189. Gee, thanks.

1190. Goodbye.

1191. Bye.

1192. Gee, we had fun.

1193. We're going to miss you.

1194. Do you think we'll ever meet again?

1195. I'm sure you will, children.

1196. Thank you, Santa, for bringing happiness

1197. to the children of Mars.

1198. And the Christmas spirit to all of us.

1199. Son, from the bottom of my heart,

1200. I wish you and yours the very best of everything.

1201. Ho, ho, ho!

1202. Merry Christmas, everybody!

1203. Dropo Claus is here.

1204. Ho, ho, ho, Merry Christmas!

1205. Dropo, you put on weight.

1206. Oh, yes.

1207. No pillows, look.

1208. Look kids, no pillows.

1209. Now, if we hurry, we can get back in time for Christmas Eve.

1210. Yay!

1211. Shall we get going?

1212. Yay!

1213. Goodbye, dear friends.

1214. Away!

1215. Merry Christmas, everyone!

1216. Away!

1217. Bye!

1218. Goodbye, Santa Claus!

1219. Goodbye!