1. Copyright from SI MediaCopy !req
2. There you are.Copy !req
3. I've been looking for you.Copy !req
4. Have you seen my other shoe?Copy !req
5. What?Copy !req
6. Why are you looking at me like that?Copy !req
7. Go potty.Copy !req
8. Scotty.Copy !req
9. Come on, boy. Scotty.Copy !req
10. Go potty, Scotty.Copy !req
11. Don't look at me like that.Copy !req
12. Yes?Copy !req
13. Great way to start the day, right?Copy !req
14. I think I'm gonna puke.Copy !req
15. Mom said you went on a date last week.
How'd it go?Copy !req
16. It was okay.Copy !req
17. "Okay" as in you got laid?Copy !req
18. Harry.
What?Copy !req
19. She can't hear you.Copy !req
20. Don't you wanna have sex,
like, ever again in your life?Copy !req
21. Yes. I just don't think
that I'm the dating type.Copy !req
22. Girls only wanna sleep with me
because they read my book in high school.Copy !req
23. So?Copy !req
24. So they're not interested in me.Copy !req
25. They're interested
in some idea of me.Copy !req
26. That's why you should keep working out.
That way, they'll want you for your body.Copy !req
27. What does this thing
even do?Copy !req
28. It turns you into a god.Copy !req
29. Keep going.Copy !req
30. Hey, I had a weird dream last night.Copy !req
31. There was this girl and she was...Copy !req
32. What'd she look like?Copy !req
33. Just a normal girl.
Just a girl I made up.Copy !req
34. Well, what happened?Copy !req
35. She just talked to me.Copy !req
36. That's depressing.Copy !req
37. Actually, it was really nice.Copy !req
38. Seriously? You don't even get laid
in your dreams? That's...Copy !req
39. That's just sad.Copy !req
40. Hey, how's the new book coming along?Copy !req
41. I don't know. I get a good idea,
like why don't I write about my dad?Copy !req
42. And then, bam, I start thinking
that it's the stupidest thing ever.Copy !req
43. Who wants to read about,
"He was disappointed in me...Copy !req
44. blah, blah, blah"?Copy !req
45. Also, I'm feeling ambivalent
about Scotty.Copy !req
46. Yeah, he slobbers. He chews things.Copy !req
47. He pees like a girl,
which makes me feel inadequate.Copy !req
48. He needs to go outside a lot, breaks up
my day. That's why I'm not writing.Copy !req
49. Do you think that's why you're not writing?Copy !req
50. No.
Why do think you're not writing?Copy !req
51. Can I have Bobby now?Copy !req
52. Do you need Bobby now?
Yes.Copy !req
53. Calvin...Copy !req
54. when's the last time
you saw a friend?Copy !req
55. Harry. Yesterday.Copy !req
56. No, no.
Someone other than your brother.Copy !req
57. Uh, have you been giving Bobby
to your other patients?Copy !req
58. No, Bobby is just for you.Copy !req
59. Because he smells weird.
Calvin...Copy !req
60. when you were deciding to get Scotty,
what did we talk about?Copy !req
61. What did you say your hopes were?
Do you remember?Copy !req
62. That he would help me meet people.Copy !req
63. A little louder, please?Copy !req
64. That he would be
awesome and we'd take hikes and stuff.Copy !req
65. And people would stop to pet him,
and I would meet them.Copy !req
66. But Scotty gets scared
when people try to pet him.Copy !req
67. Does that embarrass you?Copy !req
68. No.
I wanna give you a writing assignment.Copy !req
69. I can't write.
Okay.Copy !req
70. This would just be for me.Copy !req
71. I'd like you to write a page...Copy !req
72. about someone who sees Scotty
all slobbery and scared...Copy !req
73. and likes him anyway,
just the way he is.Copy !req
74. You think you could
do that for me?Copy !req
75. Can it be bad?Copy !req
76. I'd like it to be very bad.Copy !req
77. I first met Calvin
when he was 19 years old.Copy !req
78. And he'd already been at the top...Copy !req
79. of The New York Times Best Seller list,
uh, for several months.Copy !req
80. And I remember thinking:Copy !req
81. "Who the fuck is this kid?Copy !req
82. And, uh, how can I go back in time
and be him?"Copy !req
83. A high-school dropout
with acne still on his chin...Copy !req
84. gave us what may very well become
a classic American novel.Copy !req
85. Since then, of course,
we've all enjoyed his short stories...Copy !req
86. uh, including last year's novella,
Breakfast for Dinner.Copy !req
87. But it was only when I sat down
and reread his novel...Copy !req
88. now available in a beautiful
10th anniversary edition...Copy !req
89. that, uh, I realized just how good a writer
Calvin Weir-Fields is.Copy !req
90. We are lucky to have him around.Copy !req
91. Ladies and gentlemen,
Calvin Weir-Fields.Copy !req
92. Phenomenal, man. Just brilliant.
Thank you. Thanks.Copy !req
93. Brilliant.
Thanks so much.Copy !req
94. Calvin.
Hi.Copy !req
95. You know that chapter where
Charlie goes to the whorehouse?Copy !req
96. Did you dress the whores blue because
it's the color of his mother's apron?Copy !req
97. I'm sorry...Copy !req
98. How did you know
where to send your manuscript?Copy !req
99. I looked it up.Copy !req
100. Oh, of course.Copy !req
101. Is it weird for you that you
used to be so successful?Copy !req
102. There's the man.Copy !req
103. Cyrus, you gotta remind me
about these things.Copy !req
104. You have to check
your messages, buddy.Copy !req
105. I would've worn something nicer.Copy !req
106. No one cares what you're wearing.
You are a genius.Copy !req
107. Don't use that word.Copy !req
108. Mr. Perrotta, over here.Copy !req
109. Calvin always had talent.
Over here.Copy !req
110. But that, unfortunately, is not enough.Copy !req
111. Langdon, right here!
All I did, really...Copy !req
112. was guide him in the right direction
and, uh, like, pass the baton.Copy !req
113. Mabel.Copy !req
114. What?Copy !req
115. I'm Mabel.Copy !req
116. Oh, do I know you?
No, no.Copy !req
117. Do you want my number?Copy !req
118. It's a one-off, that book.
Great.Copy !req
119. It's the first album of an indie band.
Thank you.Copy !req
120. It has that sort of
unselfconscious verve...Copy !req
121. that, um... That you don't, uh...Copy !req
122. Then, of course, there's
the second album syndrome, which...Copy !req
123. We don't talk about that.Copy !req
124. Everyone loves this book,
but we wanna hear what you're doing now.Copy !req
125. What matters is right now.
What are you working on? Are you?Copy !req
126. They love you, then they throw you away.Copy !req
127. I mean, if I'm gonna include anybody...
It's actually easier...Copy !req
128. if you've only ever been mediocre.Copy !req
129. If you've been at the top...Copy !req
130. Hi. Sorry.
Hi.Copy !req
131. - It can kill you.Copy !req
132. Yeah, Salinger
had the right idea. He...Copy !req
133. Write what you can, then,
pssh, disappear, you know?Copy !req
134. So I've had a drink.Copy !req
135. But no coke. I didn't...
No coke.Copy !req
136. I didn't do any coke.Copy !req
137. Scotty?Copy !req
138. Sorry I'm late, buddy.Copy !req
139. Scotty?Copy !req
140. Scotty, what the fuck?Copy !req
141. Oh.Copy !req
142. She's so cute.Copy !req
143. What?Copy !req
144. Your dog. She's so cute.Copy !req
145. Oh, he's a boy dog.Copy !req
146. He just peed like a girl.Copy !req
147. Have we met before?Copy !req
148. I don't think so.Copy !req
149. Do you mind if I draw him?Copy !req
150. Uh, but don't get too close.Copy !req
151. He's a little scared of people.Copy !req
152. You're an artist?
Yeah.Copy !req
153. I'm super good.
Really?Copy !req
154. What's your dog's name?Copy !req
155. Uh, Scotty.Copy !req
156. Are you Scottish?
No.Copy !req
157. I named him for F. Scott Fitzgerald.Copy !req
158. Who?
F. Scott Fitzgerald.Copy !req
159. The novelist.Copy !req
160. Great Gatsby.Copy !req
161. I don't read a lot of fiction.Copy !req
162. You've never heard of
F. Scott Fitzgerald?Copy !req
163. Why? Is he really famous
and important?Copy !req
164. Well, he's probably one of the greatest
novelists who ever lived.Copy !req
165. Isn't that disrespectful?Copy !req
166. What?Copy !req
167. Naming your dog after him?
It's a little disrespectful.Copy !req
168. No, it's a gesture.
Yeah, an aggressive gesture.Copy !req
169. Think about it. You're a novelist.
You think this guy's the greatest.Copy !req
170. So you name your dog after him
to cut him down to size.Copy !req
171. This way,
you can put him on a leash...Copy !req
172. and yell "Bad Scotty"...Copy !req
173. and feel all superior
because you pee inside.Copy !req
174. Kill your idols, man.
I'm all for it.Copy !req
175. All right. Scotty.Copy !req
176. Hang on.Copy !req
177. This is beautiful.
Yeah.Copy !req
178. Your dog might pee like a lady,
but I like him anyway.Copy !req
179. Hey, what did you just say?Copy !req
180. I like him just the way he is.Copy !req
181. Yes.Copy !req
182. Yes. Yes.Copy !req
183. "... pooled into his eyes as though...
Rushed back like blood...Copy !req
184. Calvin flushed with..."Copy !req
185. You're a genius.Copy !req
186. I thought we weren't gonna use that word.Copy !req
187. You are really, really super fucking smart.
"I'd like it to be bad."Copy !req
188. I'm glad you found something
that inspires you.Copy !req
189. Inspires me?Copy !req
190. It overwhelms me.
I literally cannot sleep or eat.Copy !req
191. All I want I do is write.Copy !req
192. I mean, I almost didn't come here today
because I didn't wanna be away from her.Copy !req
193. Oh, God.
What?Copy !req
194. Oh, my God.
Oh, I can't say it out loud.Copy !req
195. It's too stupid.
I love it when you say stupid things.Copy !req
196. Oh, no, this is really profoundly stupid.
Okay.Copy !req
197. Ugh.Copy !req
198. Okay, so the guy I'm writing...Copy !req
199. Yeah, what's his name?Copy !req
200. Uh, Calvin.Copy !req
201. I'm gonna change it.
Uh, anyway, there's a lot of me in him.Copy !req
202. What I'm trying to say is...Copy !req
203. it's almost like I'm writing
to spend time with her.Copy !req
204. Who?
The girl.Copy !req
205. The one I'm writing. It's...
I go to sleep at night...Copy !req
206. just waiting to get to my typewriter
so I can be with her.Copy !req
207. It's like...
It's like I'm falling in love with her.Copy !req
208. That's wonderful.
I can't fall in love with a girl I write.Copy !req
209. Why not?
Because she's not real.Copy !req
210. Isn't she? Are you sure?
No. Yes.Copy !req
211. She's some motherfucking product
of my imagination!Copy !req
212. Oh, Lila treated me so badly.
I know.Copy !req
213. Who leaves someone after
their father dies?Copy !req
214. Someone who couldn't
love you properly.Copy !req
215. Someone who is a heartless slut.
Okay.Copy !req
216. Well, tell me about her.
I don't wanna talk about Lila anymore.Copy !req
217. Well, I meant this girl that you're writing.
Tell me about her.Copy !req
218. Ruby.Copy !req
219. Ruby Sparks.Copy !req
220. Twenty-six years old.
Raised in Dayton, Ohio.Copy !req
221. Why Dayton?
Sounds romantic.Copy !req
222. Ruby's first crushes were
Humphrey Bogart and John Lennon.Copy !req
223. Cried the day she found out
they were already dead.Copy !req
224. Ruby got kicked out of high school
for sleeping with her art teacher...Copy !req
225. or maybe her Spanish teacher.
I haven't decided yet.Copy !req
226. Ruby can't drive.
She doesn't own a computer.Copy !req
227. She hates her middle name,
which is Tiffany.Copy !req
228. She always, always roots
for the underdog.Copy !req
229. She's complicated.
That's what I like best about her.Copy !req
230. Ruby's not so good at life sometimes.Copy !req
231. She forgets to open bills
or cash checks and...Copy !req
232. Her last boyfriend was 49.Copy !req
233. The one before that was an alcoholic.Copy !req
234. She can feel a change coming.
She's looking for it.Copy !req
235. Looking for what?Copy !req
236. Something new.Copy !req
237. Feels good, right?
Can we stop a second?Copy !req
238. Why? You all right?Copy !req
239. Hey, Sue.
Yeah?Copy !req
240. They didn't have paprika,
so I got cumin.Copy !req
241. Shh, shh!
They're the same thing, right?Copy !req
242. Miles went down.
If you wake him, I will beat you.Copy !req
243. Calvin? You need to thank me
because I cleaned your oven.Copy !req
244. Thank you, Susie.
Oh, my woman.Copy !req
245. Okay. You're sweaty.
Get your mitts off of me.Copy !req
246. Susie, did you happen to sha...?
You didn't tell me you were getting laid.Copy !req
247. Harry.
I'm just saying.Copy !req
248. He claims to be writing too much
to haul his ass to our house.Copy !req
249. But turns out,
he's just getting too much poon.Copy !req
250. Harry, I swear to God...
I'm not getting any poon.Copy !req
251. Oh, yeah?Copy !req
252. Whose is that?
You tell me.Copy !req
253. Oh, my God. Scotty.Copy !req
254. It's Scotty's?
No. Scotty...Copy !req
255. Don't let the baby touch that.
Miles, don't...Copy !req
256. Suse, he likes it.
No, he doesn't like it.Copy !req
257. Scotty's been dragging them in.
He seems to love it.Copy !req
258. He goes through
my weird neighbor's garbage.Copy !req
259. So that's a random dirty bra?
It's dirty.Copy !req
260. That's gross.
You made him cough.Copy !req
261. Calvin, don't put it away.
Throw it away.Copy !req
262. I swear, if your mother knew...Copy !req
263. Calvin, what is this?
What's what?Copy !req
264. Nothing.
Harry, get over here.Copy !req
265. Uh, please, don't.Copy !req
266. Are these panties?
Fuck off.Copy !req
267. I swear,
Scotty's been dragging them in.Copy !req
268. Right. Scotty.
Shut up.Copy !req
269. Calvin, throw these away.Copy !req
270. Hey, Susie, I'm gonna check on Harry.
Okay.Copy !req
271. Tell him we have to go soon.
Okay.Copy !req
272. So?Copy !req
273. Where do you see this going?Copy !req
274. Well, I don't know. I just started.Copy !req
275. This is a love story, right?Copy !req
276. Who reads love stories?Copy !req
277. Women.Copy !req
278. And I'm telling you,
no woman's gonna wanna read this.Copy !req
279. Why not? It's romantic.Copy !req
280. Quirky, messy women whose problems
only make them endearing are not real.Copy !req
281. Period.Copy !req
282. What do they say,
"write what you've been through"?Copy !req
283. Write what you know.
Exactly. Write what you know.Copy !req
284. I've known girls like Ruby.
Yeah?Copy !req
285. Who?Copy !req
286. Girls.Copy !req
287. Lila?
Not fucking Lila.Copy !req
288. You've had one relationship.
For five years.Copy !req
289. You never even lived together.Copy !req
290. I'm telling you, Calvin,
the honeymoon shit, it doesn't last.Copy !req
291. I know that.
Women are different up close.Copy !req
292. I love Susie...Copy !req
293. but she's a weirdo.Copy !req
294. Sometimes, she's mean as fuck
for no reason.Copy !req
295. She's a person.Copy !req
296. You haven't written a person, okay?Copy !req
297. You've written a girl.
All right, whatever.Copy !req
298. Writers don't show their work
to people at this stage.Copy !req
299. I might not even finish it.Copy !req
300. Because...
And don't, like, tell people about it.Copy !req
301. Listen. I'm not saying you can't write.Copy !req
302. I'm saying...Copy !req
303. you don't know jack shit
about women.Copy !req
304. Don't let those leftovers go to waste,
okay, skinny?Copy !req
305. Gym tomorrow?Copy !req
306. Uh, I'm seeing Cyrus.Copy !req
307. Maybe Friday?
Friday.Copy !req
308. I know.
You okay, bud?Copy !req
309. Yes.Copy !req
310. This thing is dripping everywhere.Copy !req
311. How are you supposed to eat this thing?Copy !req
312. What?Copy !req
313. You're so not my type.Copy !req
314. What do you mean I'm not your type?Copy !req
315. I usually go for guys
who are a little more, um, assertive.Copy !req
316. I'm assertive.
Ha, ha. No.Copy !req
317. You're stubborn. That's different.Copy !req
318. I had this one boyfriend...Copy !req
319. who told me I wasn't funny...Copy !req
320. but that I have a good sense
of humor...Copy !req
321. because I laughed at his jokes.Copy !req
322. Why would you date a guy like that?Copy !req
323. I was young.
You must have things you regret.Copy !req
324. Not really.Copy !req
325. Everything's been perfect so far.
Oh.Copy !req
326. So that's what you're looking for
in a guy?Copy !req
327. Douchiness?Copy !req
328. I don't know.Copy !req
329. I guess I was looking for you.Copy !req
330. It just took me a while
to find you.Copy !req
331. Ruby.
Jump!Copy !req
332. What did you think
the first time you saw me?Copy !req
333. I thought you were
the most beautiful girl I ever saw.Copy !req
334. Were you disappointed
when you got to know me?Copy !req
335. How can you ask that?Copy !req
336. I'm such a mess.Copy !req
337. I love your mess.Copy !req
338. The first time I saw you, I thought:Copy !req
339. "Look at that boy.Copy !req
340. I'm going to love him
forever and ever and ever."Copy !req
341. What if you get sick of me?
I won't.Copy !req
342. I promise.Copy !req
343. Hello. Shit.Copy !req
344. Shit.Copy !req
345. Hello. Damn it.Copy !req
346. Okay. No.Copy !req
347. Hello.
Cyrus.Copy !req
348. Where the fuck are you?
Uh, sorry.Copy !req
349. I was writing, I fell asleep.
I'll be right there.Copy !req
350. Look, if you aren't ready
to talk about this, it's fine.Copy !req
351. No... No, no.
I wanna show you what I have.Copy !req
352. I think you're gonna be really excited.Copy !req
353. Of course, I'll be excited. Okay, uh,
here's what I'll do. I'll push my lunch.Copy !req
354. Okay. All right. Well, uh, if I leave now,
I should be there in 15 minutes.Copy !req
355. All right.
If there isn't any traffic.Copy !req
356. Oh, damn it. Scotty.Copy !req
357. What?
Uh, nothing. Uh, my dog has to pee.Copy !req
358. I'll, uh, put him in the backyard.
I'll take him out.Copy !req
359. Great. Thank you.
Cal?Copy !req
360. Cal?Copy !req
361. Hello?Copy !req
362. I missed you in bed last night.Copy !req
363. Did you get some good writing done?
Are you there?Copy !req
364. Oh, God.
Hey, you want a bite?Copy !req
365. It's Crispix.
I think I lost him.Copy !req
366. God, it's happening.
It's really happening this time.Copy !req
367. They're gonna hospitalize me.
What's wrong?Copy !req
368. They all thought I was so smart,
but it turns out I was just batshit.Copy !req
369. Calvin?
What the fuck?Copy !req
370. Calvin.Copy !req
371. It's not real. It's not real.Copy !req
372. It's not real.Copy !req
373. Okay, you're dreaming.Copy !req
374. You're dreaming.Copy !req
375. You're dreaming...Copy !req
376. and you're going to wake up...Copy !req
377. right now.Copy !req
378. Oh, shit.Copy !req
379. Calvin? Are you mad at me?
Oh.Copy !req
380. Oh, God. It's not real.Copy !req
381. It's not real. It's not real. It's not real.Copy !req
382. Doctor...Copy !req
383. Hi, Dr. Rosenthal. It's Calvin Weir-Fields.
Something has come up...Copy !req
384. and I'd appreciate it if you called me
as soon as possible. Thank you.Copy !req
385. Ruby?
Hey.Copy !req
386. Um...Copy !req
387. I thought you might be hungry,
so I'm making you some eggs.Copy !req
388. Mm.Copy !req
389. What's wrong?
Oh, nothing.Copy !req
390. Nothing, uh...Copy !req
391. Are these, by any chance, yours?Copy !req
392. Yeah, of course, they are.Copy !req
393. Who else would they belong to?Copy !req
394. Oh, my God.Copy !req
395. Are you seeing someone else?
Oh, no.Copy !req
396. No, no, no, I'm not...Copy !req
397. I'm not seeing anyone
other than you.Copy !req
398. Will you excuse me?Copy !req
399. Remember how Dad used
to say I had an overactive imagination?Copy !req
400. Are you saying Ruby is in your house?Copy !req
401. I started seeing her this morning.Copy !req
402. It's like that movie Harvey,
except she's not a giant rabbit.Copy !req
403. It's not like she knows
she's imaginary, either.Copy !req
404. She thinks we're in the relationship
in my book.Copy !req
405. It is freaking me out.Copy !req
406. I'm in the middle of a meeting.
But this is an emergency.Copy !req
407. I may be losing my mind.Copy !req
408. Just give me one sec. Just...
Harry. Harry.Copy !req
409. There's no possible way
that Ruby's in your house...Copy !req
410. because she's not a real person.Copy !req
411. I know objectively she is not real,
but I'm telling you...Copy !req
412. I can see her, I can smell her.Copy !req
413. When she touched me, I could feel it.Copy !req
414. She's making eggs in my kitchen.
Actual eggs.Copy !req
415. That's great.Copy !req
416. Calvin, I am at work.
I'm in the middle of a very important meeting.Copy !req
417. I cannot deal with your shit right now.Copy !req
418. Listen to me.
I want you to leave the house...Copy !req
419. see a friend. A friend
who can't see your imaginary friend.Copy !req
420. If this is still an issue tonight,
we'll talk, okay?Copy !req
421. Okay. I'll phone a friend.Copy !req
422. Sorry about that, I was...Copy !req
423. Kobe's having a barbecue this weekend.
You got plans this weekend?Copy !req
424. It's Calvin.Copy !req
425. Weir-Fields. From high school.Copy !req
426. Yeah, the writer.Copy !req
427. I sat next to you in Spanish class.Copy !req
428. Uh, actually, I gotta go.Copy !req
429. Where are you going?Copy !req
430. Out.
Where?Copy !req
431. To the store.Copy !req
432. What for?Copy !req
433. To get some stuff.Copy !req
434. Can I come?
No.Copy !req
435. Why not?
Because.Copy !req
436. Please?
No.Copy !req
437. Please?Copy !req
438. - Point-nine KCRW.Copy !req
439. Up next, tickets for KCRW members.Copy !req
440. If you haven't won anything from us
in the last 90 days...Copy !req
441. I hear they're doing
a zombie film festival at the cemetery.Copy !req
442. You wanna go? We could do a shot
every time someone gets bitten.Copy !req
443. Okay. Bye.Copy !req
444. Bye? Where are you going?Copy !req
445. Nowhere.Copy !req
446. Café Figaro. I've got this friend.
It won't take long.Copy !req
447. What am I supposed to do?Copy !req
448. Stay here. Enjoy the shops.Copy !req
449. I'll be back soon.Copy !req
450. When I didn't hear from you
right away...Copy !req
451. I figured you had lost my number
or something.Copy !req
452. At least that's what my roommate said
must have happened.Copy !req
453. Oh, no, I didn't lose your number.
Uh, actually the, uh, night I met you...Copy !req
454. I started writing something,
so that's been really consuming.Copy !req
455. The night you met me?Copy !req
456. Am I?Copy !req
457. Never mind. Ha, ha. Never mind.Copy !req
458. Um, am I in it?Copy !req
459. I can't really talk about it.
Right, of course.Copy !req
460. But if I am, like, when it comes out
in stores and stuff...Copy !req
461. will you tell me which character I am?
You're not in it.Copy !req
462. Right, but if I am?Copy !req
463. I will let you know.Copy !req
464. Okay. Awesome. Awesome.Copy !req
465. So, um, do you do this a lot?Copy !req
466. Do what?
Meet up in the middle of the day for sex.Copy !req
467. No. No, that's not...
I just wanted someone to talk to.Copy !req
468. Oh.Copy !req
469. Right. Right.Copy !req
470. Well, men never
just wanna talk to women.Copy !req
471. I do.
If you say so.Copy !req
472. Uh, heh, are you even legal?Copy !req
473. I mean, not to drink, but, yeah.Copy !req
474. Of course. Do you, um...?Copy !req
475. Do you wanna go someplace?Copy !req
476. Hi.
Sorry, what?Copy !req
477. Do you wanna go to my place?Copy !req
478. Hi.
Sorry.Copy !req
479. I'm sorry.
What's going on?Copy !req
480. Am I interrupting?
I thought I heard something.Copy !req
481. Do you wanna get out of here?
Calvin.Copy !req
482. Do you know this girl?
Yeah. Hi, I'm Ruby, Calvin's girlfriend.Copy !req
483. I don't think we've met.Copy !req
484. Uh, no.Copy !req
485. Um, I'm Mabel. I was just going.Copy !req
486. You can see her?
Yeah, she can see me.Copy !req
487. I can see her.Copy !req
488. You can see her.
Let's not make this worse, all right?Copy !req
489. Sorry, I didn't know.
Did Harry put you up to this?Copy !req
490. What, your brother is in on this?
What?Copy !req
491. Ruby, it was very nice meeting you.
Calvin, have fun writing.Copy !req
492. Who the fuck was that?Copy !req
493. Can you see her?
Calvin, who was that?Copy !req
494. Can I see her?
Can he see me? What are you...? Stop.Copy !req
495. What's wrong with you, man?Copy !req
496. She's real.Copy !req
497. Oh, no. Ruby!Copy !req
498. Ruby! Ruby.Copy !req
499. Get away from me!
Ruby! Ruby!Copy !req
500. Get away! Get away!
Ruby!Copy !req
501. Ruby, please, listen to me.
Let go!Copy !req
502. Stop!
Listen to me. Calm down. Ruby.Copy !req
503. Get away from me!
Hey, you okay?Copy !req
504. You want me to call the police?Copy !req
505. No. Thank you.
He's just being a complete asshole.Copy !req
506. Are you sure?Copy !req
507. Yeah.Copy !req
508. Thank you, I'm fine.Copy !req
509. Ruby.
You stay away.Copy !req
510. God, I should have known.
You've been acting like such a freak... Stop!Copy !req
511. Let go of me!Copy !req
512. Put me down!Copy !req
513. Put me down or I'm gonna scream!Copy !req
514. Ruby.
Stop it!Copy !req
515. Put me down!
Ruby?Copy !req
516. Oh, my God, stop! Ow!Copy !req
517. Shh! Stop it. Oh, do not bite.
Do not bite.Copy !req
518. Listen to me. Shh, shh.Copy !req
519. There is a lot that is new here,
more than I can tell you.Copy !req
520. I'm having trouble processing it all,
okay?Copy !req
521. Then talk to me about it.Copy !req
522. Don't go on a date with another girl.Copy !req
523. I wasn't on a date.Copy !req
524. What is going on with you?
I don't know. I'm sorry.Copy !req
525. Oh, I'm just having trouble...Copy !req
526. wrapping my head
around the reality of this situation.Copy !req
527. That you're here.Copy !req
528. That you're real.Copy !req
529. It all seems pretty incredible.Copy !req
530. What?Copy !req
531. Kiss me, stupid.Copy !req
532. Holy shit.Copy !req
533. Mm.Copy !req
534. Look, I know it's a lot to take in,
but you have to believe me.Copy !req
535. She's real.Copy !req
536. I don't know how or why...Copy !req
537. but she's here and she's real.Copy !req
538. And I like it.Copy !req
539. "Real" as in other people can see her.
That's what I'm trying to tell you.Copy !req
540. We've been to restaurants.
We take Scotty for walks in the park.Copy !req
541. People talk to her. She's very friendly.
That's impossible.Copy !req
542. It's apparently not.Copy !req
543. What does Dr. Rosenthal say?Copy !req
544. Are you fucking serious?Copy !req
545. People have shrinks
for when they start seeing things.Copy !req
546. I'm not seeing things.Copy !req
547. Calvin, call him.
I can't.Copy !req
548. I told him when she was a character.
He won't understand.Copy !req
549. Call him or I'm telling Mom.
He'll think I'm crazy.Copy !req
550. You might be crazy.Copy !req
551. The situation is crazy.Copy !req
552. I am not.Copy !req
553. Do you hear...? Hi.Copy !req
554. Do you hear yourself? Do you?
Do you hear yourself? Really?Copy !req
555. There's no way that you're sleeping
with a girl that you made up.Copy !req
556. Hey, so, uh, she doesn't know
that I wrote her...Copy !req
557. so don't say anything
about the manuscript, okay?Copy !req
558. Yeah, okay.Copy !req
559. Hi, Ruby. Great to meet you.
Can we call the doctor now?Copy !req
560. Harry.
Calvin!Copy !req
561. Oof! Hey.Copy !req
562. What took you so long?Copy !req
563. Hey, Ruby, this is my brother, Harry.
Hey.Copy !req
564. Harry. Hi.
Hi.Copy !req
565. Hi. It's great to meet you.
Hi.Copy !req
566. I've heard so much about you
from Calvin.Copy !req
567. You're Ruby.Copy !req
568. You're Harry.Copy !req
569. The painter from Dayton, Ohio.Copy !req
570. Yep.
Yep.Copy !req
571. Are you staying for supper?
I'm making meat loaf.Copy !req
572. She's an amazing cook.Copy !req
573. Yeah. Can I talk to you a second?
Outside?Copy !req
574. Okay.Copy !req
575. What did you do? Hire some actress?
Craigslist? This isn't funny.Copy !req
576. I told you, she just appeared.Copy !req
577. You're a writer, not Ricky Jay.
I know that.Copy !req
578. There's gotta be some logical explanation.
Love isn't logical.Copy !req
579. No, but you know what is?
Physics. Or metaphysics.Copy !req
580. People don't appear out of thin air.
She did.Copy !req
581. How?
I don't know how.Copy !req
582. It's love. It's magic.Copy !req
583. Okay.
What are you doing?Copy !req
584. Calling your doctor.
Don't.Copy !req
585. Harry. Harry.
Give me that.Copy !req
586. We might... Give me the phone.
Harry, listen to me, please.Copy !req
587. Remember what you told me
when you met Susie?Copy !req
588. I certainly didn't pretend I invented her.
You said that she was your dream girl.Copy !req
589. That's what happened to me.
Heh-heh-heh.Copy !req
590. Harry, don't laugh at me.Copy !req
591. Has it occurred to you
that she might be an imposter?Copy !req
592. Some girl wanted to get close to you,
somehow got her hands on what you wrote.Copy !req
593. You're the only one
who's read my manuscript.Copy !req
594. So unless you're playing some joke...
Okay, okay, okay.Copy !req
595. Let's say you created this person.
Everything you wrote about her came true.Copy !req
596. Even the smallest things?
Yes.Copy !req
597. Have you tried writing more?
No.Copy !req
598. Write something about her.Copy !req
599. Why? She's perfect.Copy !req
600. Write something about her,
see if it comes true.Copy !req
601. If it does, then you're right
and this is a fucking miracle.Copy !req
602. And if nothing happens...Copy !req
603. maybe we go to the police.Copy !req
604. Don't call...
Just go in there and act normal. Go up.Copy !req
605. You act normal.
I'm not gonna say...Copy !req
606. We're gonna go upstairs
and check on something, uh, online.Copy !req
607. Were you guys
getting stoned out there?Copy !req
608. Okay, here's where I left off.Copy !req
609. It has to be something
we notice right away, okay?Copy !req
610. Something obvious.Copy !req
611. What she's wearing?
Yes. Yes.Copy !req
612. What she's wearing.Copy !req
613. What was she wearing?Copy !req
614. Was it pink?Copy !req
615. I got it.Copy !req
616. Okay. Okay.Copy !req
617. Write that she speaks fluent French.Copy !req
618. Yeah, just put it down.Copy !req
619. I'll do it.
I... Shh.Copy !req
620. I'll be right back. I have to do something.
No, wait, hold it.Copy !req
621. Calvin.Copy !req
622. Bottle of vino.Copy !req
623. Great. Your brother looks like
he could use a drink.Copy !req
624. I have to say,
that's the best meat loaf I've ever had.Copy !req
625. Thank you.Copy !req
626. It's a family recipe.Copy !req
627. I can't really take credit.Copy !req
628. So your... Your family's in Ohio?Copy !req
629. Yeah. Actually, my parents died
when I was a baby in an accident...Copy !req
630. and I got moved around a lot.Copy !req
631. I guess the habit stuck.Copy !req
632. I've lived in nine cities in six years, so...
Nine?Copy !req
633. Yeah.
Wow, that's a lot of cities.Copy !req
634. I'm so sorry. I'm totally
monopolizing this conversation.Copy !req
635. No. This is fascinating.Copy !req
636. Please, keep going. Please.Copy !req
637. What nice boys.Copy !req
638. Your mom must be so proud.
It's hard to raise a decent guy.Copy !req
639. Oh, I think a person would have to do
something pretty amazing...Copy !req
640. to produce a good woman.Copy !req
641. Okay. Great.Copy !req
642. Uh, you guys like each other.
I think Harry has to go now.Copy !req
643. Right, buddy?Copy !req
644. He can be such a control freak, right?Copy !req
645. I'll be right back.
Good night.Copy !req
646. See you soon, I hope.
Hey. So?Copy !req
647. Get in the car.
What?Copy !req
648. Get in the car.
Why? What?Copy !req
649. That was insane!Copy !req
650. Harry...
This is insane.Copy !req
651. You manifested a woman with your mind.Copy !req
652. Mom's gonna fucking freak.
Whoa, you can't tell Mom.Copy !req
653. Why not? She loves all this New Age shit.
Seriously...Copy !req
654. you can't tell anybody.
Not Mom, not Susie. No one.Copy !req
655. This is amazing. How can I not tell?
They'll think she's a freak.Copy !req
656. We're gonna pretend she's your girlfriend?
She is my girlfriend.Copy !req
657. Seriously?Copy !req
658. Why not?
Your girlfriend.Copy !req
659. Stranger things have happened.
I don't think so.Copy !req
660. I think this is pretty much the strangest
thing that's ever happened, ever.Copy !req
661. You gonna marry her?
Have kids with her?Copy !req
662. I don't know.
But wouldn't that be like incest?Copy !req
663. Or mind-cest?
I don't care.Copy !req
664. I love her.Copy !req
665. Please don't ruin this for me.Copy !req
666. Promise me, no one.Copy !req
667. Fine.Copy !req
668. Thank you.Copy !req
669. Oh, hey, so you can,
like, change her.Copy !req
670. I guess.Copy !req
671. You could, like, tweak things
if you wanted.Copy !req
672. Tweak? What do you mean?Copy !req
673. I don't know, like anything.
Big tits, long legs...Copy !req
674. I like her little legs.
Know how many times I wanted a button...Copy !req
675. to make Susie stop doing
all the annoying shit she does?Copy !req
676. I mean, you could get blow jobs
whenever you wanted.Copy !req
677. Ruby loves giving blow jobs.Copy !req
678. Now, but what about
in a couple months or days?Copy !req
679. Women are mysterious creatures.
I still look at Susie like:Copy !req
680. "Who are you? Who are you?"Copy !req
681. I know Ruby, Harry. I wrote her.Copy !req
682. So you can make her,
like, do anything.Copy !req
683. For men everywhere...Copy !req
684. tell me you're not gonna
let that go to waste.Copy !req
685. I will never write about her again.Copy !req
686. Calvin?Copy !req
687. Hey.Copy !req
688. So did he like me?Copy !req
689. He loved you.Copy !req
690. Stop, stop, stop.Copy !req
691. Hey, if it's my mom, please don't...Copy !req
692. Hello?Copy !req
693. Hello, is anyone there? I don't...Copy !req
694. Hi, Mom.Copy !req
695. Oh, hi, sweetie. Hi.
I wasn't sure you were there.Copy !req
696. What do you want, Mom?Copy !req
697. I was wondering if
you're gonna make it up this weekend.Copy !req
698. I told you we can't this weekend.
We're busy.Copy !req
699. Oh, with what?
Busy with what?Copy !req
700. Your brother says
you haven't been writing.Copy !req
701. He doesn't know.
You've been with this girl for months.Copy !req
702. I haven't even met her.
I'm beginning to think she doesn't exist.Copy !req
703. What? No. I mean, yes.Copy !req
704. So when can I meet her?
Soon.Copy !req
705. Next weekend?
Harry and Susie will be here.Copy !req
706. Come on, please?Copy !req
707. Look, we have plans.Copy !req
708. I'm gonna call you later, okay?
I'm driving.Copy !req
709. Why can't we go to Big Sur?Copy !req
710. Uh, well, we'd have to find someone
to watch Scotty.Copy !req
711. We could take him with us.Copy !req
712. I don't know. Mort...Copy !req
713. Their house is weird.Copy !req
714. You don't want me
to meet your mom.Copy !req
715. Of course,
I want you to meet my mom.Copy !req
716. I'll invite her down for Christmas, okay?Copy !req
717. Hey, you know that coffee shop
on Dwyer? The new one?Copy !req
718. Yes.Copy !req
719. I was thinking maybe
I could try to get a job there.Copy !req
720. Well, I told you, I'm happy
to support you while you paint.Copy !req
721. Honey, I'm sort of tired.Copy !req
722. Okay.Copy !req
723. Let's turn out the light, then.Copy !req
724. It's just, maybe if I wasn't around,
you could get more writing done.Copy !req
725. Weren't you working on something
when we first met?Copy !req
726. Calvin?Copy !req
727. What are you doing?Copy !req
728. Just packing for Big Sur.Copy !req
729. Really?Copy !req
730. Yeah.Copy !req
731. Wow, look at this place.Copy !req
732. All right, this is it.Copy !req
733. You asked for it.Copy !req
734. You have nothing
to worry about.Copy !req
735. Look, why don't we stay
somewhere else tonight?Copy !req
736. Just you and me. There's a thousand
bed-and-breakfasts around.Copy !req
737. Honey, it's gonna be great.
It could be romantic.Copy !req
738. Finally.
Hi.Copy !req
739. You're here!
Hi.Copy !req
740. Hi.
Hi.Copy !req
741. Okay.
Hi, Scotty.Copy !req
742. Hi. Come on. Come on, Scotty.
Okay.Copy !req
743. Hi.
Hello. Hi.Copy !req
744. Hi. I'm Ruby.
Hi, Ruby.Copy !req
745. Hi.Copy !req
746. Wow, your garden is so amazing.Copy !req
747. All the plants have medicinal purposes.Copy !req
748. Medicinal.
Yeah.Copy !req
749. That is very cool.Copy !req
750. Whoa.Copy !req
751. This is incredible.
Yeah.Copy !req
752. He started it in 1980
and he just keeps adding to it.Copy !req
753. It's his masterpiece.Copy !req
754. Mort built all of this?
Yeah.Copy !req
755. Can you believe it?
Yes, I can.Copy !req
756. And this is where we live.Copy !req
757. Oh, my God.Copy !req
758. This is so beautiful.Copy !req
759. Wow.Copy !req
760. I feel like I'm in some kind of temple.Copy !req
761. Oh, my God,
I can't believe you said that.Copy !req
762. Calvin, she is so intuitive.
What? What? What?Copy !req
763. Mort got this wood from Amish land.
It was blessed.Copy !req
764. And the bricks come from an old
Catholic school that was torn down.Copy !req
765. That's incredible.Copy !req
766. Stairway, bedroom.Copy !req
767. That's where Harry will sleep.Copy !req
768. This is my study. Don't go in there.Copy !req
769. I'm re-alphabetizing.Copy !req
770. And this is where you'll be sleeping.Copy !req
771. Oh, it's like a little nest.Copy !req
772. Uh, Mom, we're in here?
There are no doors.Copy !req
773. No one's interested
in your business, honey.Copy !req
774. Well, this is the bathroom.Copy !req
775. We have our own well.Copy !req
776. This is Mort's workshop!Copy !req
777. He makes driftwood furniture!Copy !req
778. Mort!Copy !req
779. Mort, honey, they're here!Copy !req
780. Hey!Copy !req
781. Welcome!Copy !req
782. That's a good boy, good boy.Copy !req
783. He is such a good boy.
So, Ruby...Copy !req
784. did you go to art school?Copy !req
785. No, I didn't train formally.Copy !req
786. I just sort of picked things up
here and there.Copy !req
787. That's right. Just do it.
You learn more that way, eh?Copy !req
788. I mean, look at Calvin, eh?Copy !req
789. Right, hijo mío? Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
790. Um, Mort, could you
not feed Scotty?Copy !req
791. Aw, don't worry. He loves it.
It'll upset his stomach.Copy !req
792. Dogs love human food.
They do.Copy !req
793. No, they don't.
They do.Copy !req
794. I painted when I was young.Copy !req
795. Did you?
Yeah.Copy !req
796. Calvin never told me.Copy !req
797. Well, their father didn't approve.Copy !req
798. Because she painted porn.Copy !req
799. Nudes.
In positions.Copy !req
800. It was basically porn.Copy !req
801. I think they are very sexy, Harry.Copy !req
802. Mort's been encouraging me
to take it up again.Copy !req
803. You should do it, Mama.
You're very good at it.Copy !req
804. Lovey.Copy !req
805. You're good at everything.
Lovey.Copy !req
806. Everything is so good, Mama.Copy !req
807. Oh, sweetie.
So good.Copy !req
808. Okay.
Let's go, let's go.Copy !req
809. One minute left. One minute.Copy !req
810. First word!Copy !req
811. A little word.
No, big word.Copy !req
812. Uh, if. It's.
Uh, and.Copy !req
813. It's.
Uh, the, the, the.Copy !req
814. Well, uh...
What.Copy !req
815. What.
What?Copy !req
816. What.Copy !req
817. What.Copy !req
818. Thank you, Mort.
You're on our team.Copy !req
819. Second word.
You're on our team.Copy !req
820. Uh, redwoods.
They're not gonna get it.Copy !req
821. You and me. Not them. Us.
Us.Copy !req
822. We, uh...
Us.Copy !req
823. A girl's, uh...Copy !req
824. The T's and butt, um...
Ugh!Copy !req
825. Babies! Girls?
Oh, boy.Copy !req
826. Women!
Women?Copy !req
827. "What women."
Mort.Copy !req
828. "What women."Copy !req
829. What Women Want?
What Women Want.Copy !req
830. Oh, they won!Copy !req
831. What Women Want? Who picks that?
Come over here.Copy !req
832. You're so good.
Mort? He picked it?Copy !req
833. I love you. Oh, my God. You win the prize.Copy !req
834. Yeah.
Yeah?Copy !req
835. I'm a traitor.
But that was against the rules!Copy !req
836. Calvin.Copy !req
837. Calvin.Copy !req
838. I forgot to tell you.Copy !req
839. Your mom said that she was gonna
teach me how to bake a pie.Copy !req
840. She says we can just go out in the garden
and pick the berries ourselves.Copy !req
841. Isn't that amazing?Copy !req
842. She didn't used to be like this.Copy !req
843. Like what?Copy !req
844. When Dad was around,
she wore polo shirts and cooked meat.Copy !req
845. It's like she's been brainwashed.Copy !req
846. I think she and Mort seem really happy.Copy !req
847. Ah!
Calvin!Copy !req
848. Watch out!
Come on!Copy !req
849. Come down here!
Hey, Calvin!Copy !req
850. Calvin! Calvin!Copy !req
851. Let's go!
Watch out!Copy !req
852. The water's great, man, come on.
It's beautiful!Copy !req
853. No, thanks.Copy !req
854. Oh, it's so fun.
You're missing out.Copy !req
855. I promised Langdon
I'd finish his book.Copy !req
856. Why don't you
come up here with me?Copy !req
857. Okay, enjoy yourself!Copy !req
858. Mort, be careful.Copy !req
859. Asteroid!Copy !req
860. Yeah!Copy !req
861. Yeah!
That was beautiful.Copy !req
862. Now do it with me. Do it with me.Copy !req
863. Calvin, honey?Copy !req
864. Are you okay?Copy !req
865. Yeah. I'm fine.Copy !req
866. Okay.Copy !req
867. I'm really glad you brought her.Copy !req
868. It means a lot to me.Copy !req
869. Okay.Copy !req
870. Dinner's in a half hour.Copy !req
871. But, hey, Harry, Harry, Harry.Copy !req
872. You wanna see my impression of Scotty?
Yeah.Copy !req
873. That makes me laugh.Copy !req
874. Wanna see my impression of Scotty
when he's really angry?Copy !req
875. Yeah.Copy !req
876. That's so wrong.Copy !req
877. He's an intellectual.Copy !req
878. Oh, that is good.Copy !req
879. Uh, don't make fun of Scotty.Copy !req
880. Oh, calm down.Copy !req
881. Hey, come on. Take it.
Oh, my God. You look so cute here.Copy !req
882. That was such a classic.
I told you I don't want it.Copy !req
883. You should try it. It's really mellow.
It's all right. He doesn't need it.Copy !req
884. His brain is big enough.
Yeah, no, it's big.Copy !req
885. It's so big, he can...Copy !req
886. Just with his thoughts, he can just...
He thinks it and:Copy !req
887. Harry?
Just...Copy !req
888. Just...
Honey, not here.Copy !req
889. One thought.
I mean, he just can just, poof.Copy !req
890. He just, poof.
Harry, I think you've had enough.Copy !req
891. Oh.
Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
892. What are you talking about?
I'm talking about I love you.Copy !req
893. What?
Yay, someone is ready for bed.Copy !req
894. Yeah, I'm definitely ready.
Let's go.Copy !req
895. Well, this was a great dinner.Copy !req
896. Ooh!Copy !req
897. Here, let me... Let me help you.
You know what, Mort?Copy !req
898. I think you've done plenty.
Uh...Copy !req
899. Yeah. Good night.
Great, great.Copy !req
900. You okay?
Yeah, you okay?Copy !req
901. Go.
I'm fine.Copy !req
902. Big Sur, everybody.Copy !req
903. Come on, crazy.
I love this place. Love you.Copy !req
904. I think I'm gonna go inside
and, uh, talk to him.Copy !req
905. Okay.Copy !req
906. I'm sorry.Copy !req
907. No, it's okay.Copy !req
908. As long as I know
he isn't like this all the time.Copy !req
909. He isn't.
Oh.Copy !req
910. Good.Copy !req
911. Ah.Copy !req
912. Look.Copy !req
913. Is that you?
Heh, yes.Copy !req
914. Wow.
And that was Jack.Copy !req
915. He's so handsome.Copy !req
916. Yes, and very, very serious,
just like Calvin.Copy !req
917. He was a golfer?
Ruby?Copy !req
918. Wha...? Hey.
Ruby, bed.Copy !req
919. Right now?
Yes.Copy !req
920. Why won't you take it?Copy !req
921. I want you to have it.Copy !req
922. What's going on?
Calvin won't accept my present.Copy !req
923. Why not?Copy !req
924. Mort works hard on his furniture.
Yeah.Copy !req
925. I call it the Lone Pine.
That's beautiful.Copy !req
926. Don't you like it?
Of course he does. It's a great chair.Copy !req
927. Come on, sit down, sit down.
Just feel the wood.Copy !req
928. Calvin...Copy !req
929. Skinnamarinky dinky dinkCopy !req
930. Dinky doCopy !req
931. I love youCopy !req
932. Skinnamarinky dinky dinkCopy !req
933. Dinky doCopy !req
934. I love youCopy !req
935. I love you in the morning
And in the afternoonCopy !req
936. Honey, I'm trying to read.Copy !req
937. Ruby?Copy !req
938. You read your stupid book
all weekend.Copy !req
939. Your mom and Mort were trying so hard.Copy !req
940. I'm sorry.Copy !req
941. You don't have any friends.Copy !req
942. I have you.Copy !req
943. I don't need anyone else.Copy !req
944. That's a lot of pressure.Copy !req
945. I'm so lonely.
No. Don't say that. Please.Copy !req
946. What do we do?Copy !req
947. How do we make it better?Copy !req
948. Maybe I could take an art class.
Great.Copy !req
949. An art class. Get out of the house.
It's good.Copy !req
950. And I think I should start spending
some nights at my apartment again.Copy !req
951. Your apartment?Copy !req
952. One night a week.Copy !req
953. As an experiment.Copy !req
954. Okay.Copy !req
955. Hi, Scotty. Come here.Copy !req
956. The teacher's just amazing.Copy !req
957. It's kind of an older group,
but the talent level's really high.Copy !req
958. I think I'm gonna learn a lot.Copy !req
959. How was your night?
Terrible.Copy !req
960. I'm sorry.Copy !req
961. I don't think this experiment
is gonna work for me.Copy !req
962. There has to be space
in the relationship.Copy !req
963. Otherwise,
it's like we're the same person.Copy !req
964. Listen, it's one night a week.
I think you can handle it.Copy !req
965. I've gotta take a shower.Copy !req
966. Come on, baby.Copy !req
967. Hello?Copy !req
968. Hi.
Hi. Where are you?Copy !req
969. Um, a bunch of people from class
decided to go out, so we're at this bar.Copy !req
970. When you coming home?Copy !req
971. I don't know. We just got here.Copy !req
972. I cooked.Copy !req
973. Sorry, no. You know,
I think that we're just gonna eat here.Copy !req
974. I mean, we already ordered, so...Copy !req
975. So when are you coming home?Copy !req
976. I don't know. Your place is kind of far
and we're drinking, so...Copy !req
977. You know, I might be kind of late.Copy !req
978. Why don't we just see each other
tomorrow?Copy !req
979. Calvin?
Yeah.Copy !req
980. Okay. Um, have a great time.Copy !req
981. Calvin, I wanna come home.Copy !req
982. No.
I have to pee.Copy !req
983. Stay.Copy !req
984. I miss you right now.Copy !req
985. Oh, Calvin.Copy !req
986. I'd rather not talk about it.
I'm sorry.Copy !req
987. I always thought you walked alone.Copy !req
988. No man walks alone from choice.Copy !req
989. Where are you going?
To get the phone.Copy !req
990. Can I come with you?Copy !req
991. Two for the 7:45.Copy !req
992. It's sold out. There's a 9:00.Copy !req
993. Take a walk first?Copy !req
994. Two for the 9.Copy !req
995. Look at this.Copy !req
996. Hello?Copy !req
997. Look who answered their phone.Copy !req
998. Cyrus, hey. Sorry, I've been busy.Copy !req
999. No worries, man. Busy writing?
Uh, yeah.Copy !req
1000. Yeah? Good, that's great.
I keep telling them you're working on it.Copy !req
1001. The publishers are getting anxious
about the new book...Copy !req
1002. Right, the new book.Copy !req
1003. You seemed excited about it a while back...
I'm out right now...Copy !req
1004. Any progress since then?
Can I give them some time line...?Copy !req
1005. Cyrus, I'm gonna call you back.
What?Copy !req
1006. Ruby?Copy !req
1007. Ruby!Copy !req
1008. Hey. Hey, hey. What happened?
I turned around and you were gone.Copy !req
1009. You let go of my hand.
I... What?Copy !req
1010. You let go of my hand.Copy !req
1011. What...? I had to pick up
the phone.Copy !req
1012. I know, but you let go.
Ruby.Copy !req
1013. You didn't even notice I was gone.Copy !req
1014. Ruby.Copy !req
1015. Sweetie, you have to calm down.Copy !req
1016. I'm gonna get you some water, okay?
No.Copy !req
1017. No.
I'll be right back.Copy !req
1018. Hi, dummy.Copy !req
1019. Hi.Copy !req
1020. Aah, he's chasing me.
Ha-ha-ha. No.Copy !req
1021. Miles. Yay, Miles.Copy !req
1022. Thanks.
He's a water baby.Copy !req
1023. Can I ask something?
I'm coming to get you.Copy !req
1024. Shoot.Copy !req
1025. What if I told you I was writing again?
Oh, no, he kicked me.Copy !req
1026. Hey, that's fantastic.Copy !req
1027. What's it about?
Um...Copy !req
1028. Writing again.Copy !req
1029. All right! Meow! Meow! Meow!Copy !req
1030. Oh. Hi.
How's it going?Copy !req
1031. Good.Copy !req
1032. Her tits?
No.Copy !req
1033. She wasn't happy.Copy !req
1034. So I made her happy...
I'm a queen!Copy !req
1035. and now she's like this
all the time.Copy !req
1036. What are you asking me?
If it's moral? I don't know.Copy !req
1037. It's obviously working.Copy !req
1038. Think of it like Prozac.Copy !req
1039. But how do I know it's real?
It's not, okay? She's not.Copy !req
1040. She I... She was.Copy !req
1041. Oh, no.Copy !req
1042. I want to be what's making her happy...
I love you, baby.Copy !req
1043. without making her happy.Copy !req
1044. So write "Ruby went back to normal."
No big deal.Copy !req
1045. I'm a puppy dog swimming in the water.Copy !req
1046. I think she was gonna
leave me before.Copy !req
1047. Help. Help. Oh. Ha-ha-ha.Copy !req
1048. Susie left once.Copy !req
1049. When? Why didn't you
tell me?Copy !req
1050. You had a lot going on.Copy !req
1051. And she came back.Copy !req
1052. But I still think about it.Copy !req
1053. I could lose her any moment.Copy !req
1054. Step on a crack,
break your mother's back.Copy !req
1055. I'm thinking about
going away for a few months.Copy !req
1056. By myself.
Where do you wanna go?Copy !req
1057. I don't know.
Um, somewhere far.Copy !req
1058. You could send me postcards.
I love getting mail.Copy !req
1059. Or I might hole up here in the house,
not even go outside.Copy !req
1060. Cool.Copy !req
1061. We could build a pillow fort.Copy !req
1062. This is your proving ground.
Start with you, Michelle.Copy !req
1063. Yes.
You have a superior walk.Copy !req
1064. I can see you doing runway, but...
Thank you.Copy !req
1065. What are you doing?
We have Langdon's party.Copy !req
1066. Who?
Langdon Tharp.Copy !req
1067. The writer. His book party's tonight.
Hey, I was watching that.Copy !req
1068. Yeah, for days.
It's a marathon.Copy !req
1069. You were always asking me
to make plans for us. I did.Copy !req
1070. Don't quote me to myself.
I am allowed to change my mind.Copy !req
1071. I don't want to fight about this.
Fine, great! Let's ignore it, then.Copy !req
1072. Now look at Sheila.
Sheila has such a unique look.Copy !req
1073. And I think that's wonderful.
We've all noticed it.Copy !req
1074. We love your energy.Copy !req
1075. Sally made a really interesting
choice using that big tease...Copy !req
1076. but it was too much.Copy !req
1077. She's not afraid to be bold.Copy !req
1078. I'm sorry.Copy !req
1079. Everything's been so
up and down lately, you know?Copy !req
1080. It's like my internal compass
is just gone.Copy !req
1081. Maybe I should talk to someone.Copy !req
1082. You used to see someone, didn't you?Copy !req
1083. Uh, Dr. Rosenthal.Copy !req
1084. Maybe you should go back.Copy !req
1085. I thought we were
talking about you.Copy !req
1086. Yeah, yeah, we are.Copy !req
1087. Maybe you're right.
Maybe I just need to get out.Copy !req
1088. See people. Be social.Copy !req
1089. This party's gonna be fun.Copy !req
1090. Langdon. Hey, Langdon, hey.Copy !req
1091. Welcome to my cult.Copy !req
1092. Cal, you have to talk to Adam and Mandi.
Who?Copy !req
1093. Adam and Mandi. The producers
who wanna take over your option.Copy !req
1094. Please, check your messages.
Cyrus, this is Ruby.Copy !req
1095. Hi.
Ruby.Copy !req
1096. Cyrus. Nice.Copy !req
1097. This is Saskia.
Hi.Copy !req
1098. Okay. Come.
Hi.Copy !req
1099. Stay there, I'll be right back.Copy !req
1100. You wanna write
the screenplay yourself?Copy !req
1101. Oh, of course. Yes, absolutely.
Who else would?Copy !req
1102. I don't know. I've never written one.Copy !req
1103. My God, you're such a genius,
you'd pick it up like that.Copy !req
1104. I've been telling him that.
He doesn't like that word.Copy !req
1105. Who'd you wanna play Charlie?Copy !req
1106. I mean, that's the question, right?
Yeah.Copy !req
1107. You should come
and talk to me about it sometime.Copy !req
1108. Now, Adam and Mandi come in
with experience from documentary films.Copy !req
1109. Yeah.Copy !req
1110. Everything they touch is authentic.
They make it real.Copy !req
1111. Grounded in reality and...
We treat narrative the exact same way...Copy !req
1112. You saw the baby documentary they did.
Yes.Copy !req
1113. Okay. Genius.
Made me wanna have a kid.Copy !req
1114. You have no idea how many people
told us the same thing.Copy !req
1115. Well, it's true.
Can you hold this just for a second?Copy !req
1116. No, sorry, I'll be right back.
Yeah, absolutely.Copy !req
1117. Great to talk to you.
Okay.Copy !req
1118. Talk to you in a bit.
Okay.Copy !req
1119. See you later.
Okay.Copy !req
1120. Excuse me. Sorry.Copy !req
1121. Cal.
Lila.Copy !req
1122. I thought you were in New York.Copy !req
1123. Uh, no, Landgon's helping me
publish my novel.Copy !req
1124. You finished your novel.Copy !req
1125. I know, it's a big surprise, the, uh...
The dilettante finished something, right?Copy !req
1126. I never said that.Copy !req
1127. What about you? Are you writing?
Sure.Copy !req
1128. Good. Great.Copy !req
1129. I hear you're seeing someone?
Yeah. She's here.Copy !req
1130. Excuse me.Copy !req
1131. Is she a writer?
No.Copy !req
1132. No, a painter.Copy !req
1133. That's great.
It's very, um, unthreatening.Copy !req
1134. You think I was threatened by you?Copy !req
1135. No, Cal, why would you be?
You're a genius.Copy !req
1136. You like my pool?Copy !req
1137. Do I know you?
I don't think so.Copy !req
1138. What are you doing at my party?Copy !req
1139. You tell me.Copy !req
1140. You come with someone?Copy !req
1141. Calvin Weir-Fields.Copy !req
1142. Ah, the boy wonder.Copy !req
1143. So are you one of those girls
who only dates famous writers?Copy !req
1144. Why? Are you a famous writer?Copy !req
1145. Do you happen to have a name?Copy !req
1146. Ruby.
Ruby.Copy !req
1147. And what do you do, Ruby?Copy !req
1148. Nothing.Copy !req
1149. How refreshing.
What do you do in your spare time?Copy !req
1150. Not much.Copy !req
1151. You know, I was thinking,
I was just thinking...Copy !req
1152. tonight would be perfect
for a swim.Copy !req
1153. I don't have a suit.Copy !req
1154. Is that a problem?Copy !req
1155. Never mind. I don't know why
I thought maybe you'd be happy for me.Copy !req
1156. How was I anything but supportive?Copy !req
1157. I read every draft.
I took you into my group.Copy !req
1158. I introduced you to Langdon.
Begrudgingly.Copy !req
1159. What? I literally can't hear you.
Begrudgingly.Copy !req
1160. You weren't curious about me.
You never were.Copy !req
1161. You just had this image
of who I was.Copy !req
1162. And anything that I did that
contradicted it, you just ignored.Copy !req
1163. What image? Where you left me
as soon as I wasn't successful?Copy !req
1164. You think I gave a shit
if you were famous?Copy !req
1165. All that I wanted was for you,
I don't know, to care about me.Copy !req
1166. Care about you?
You left weeks after my father died.Copy !req
1167. Do you wanna talk about caring?
Oh, God.Copy !req
1168. Do you know what people say?
You were impenetrable.Copy !req
1169. "How could you love that person?"
I tried to help.Copy !req
1170. You refused to let me in.
And I say, "I have no fucking clue!"Copy !req
1171. The only person that you wanted to be
in a relationship with was you.Copy !req
1172. So I let you do that.Copy !req
1173. Wow.Copy !req
1174. You really let yourself off the hook,
don't you?Copy !req
1175. Goodbye, Cal.
Goodbye.Copy !req
1176. Have a great life.Copy !req
1177. Come on.
It's nice and warm. Swim to me.Copy !req
1178. You can keep your underwear on
if you like.Copy !req
1179. Come on in.Copy !req
1180. No peeking.
All right, I promise, I won't peek.Copy !req
1181. All right.Copy !req
1182. Mm.Copy !req
1183. Oh, boy.Copy !req
1184. Writing is sensual. It's, uh...Copy !req
1185. You should see me when I write.
I'm like an Olympian.Copy !req
1186. Oh, really?
I wield my pen...Copy !req
1187. Your pen?
like a lightsaber.Copy !req
1188. What's going on here?
Calvin.Copy !req
1189. We, uh... We thought we'd take a dip.Copy !req
1190. Care to join us?Copy !req
1191. What was that?
What was what?Copy !req
1192. You know what.
Grow up.Copy !req
1193. Scotty.Copy !req
1194. Hey.
Hey! You're hurting me.Copy !req
1195. Explain what you were doing.Copy !req
1196. You left me alone at a party
where I didn't know anyone.Copy !req
1197. I found someone to talk to.
In your underwear.Copy !req
1198. Would you have been mad
if I had been in my bikini?Copy !req
1199. You weren't wearing your bikini.Copy !req
1200. Do you know what it looked like?Copy !req
1201. My agent was there.
My ex was there.Copy !req
1202. Lila was there?
Why didn't you tell me?Copy !req
1203. I was too busy getting you
to put your clothes back on.Copy !req
1204. You're supposed to be my girlfriend.
I am your girlfriend.Copy !req
1205. So act like it.Copy !req
1206. I'm sorry I wasn't acting
like the platonic ideal of your girlfriend.Copy !req
1207. Jesus, you can be
such a fucking prude.Copy !req
1208. I don't want you skinny-dipping
with men?Copy !req
1209. Because you don't want me
doing anything!Copy !req
1210. You have all these rules
and you don't tell me what they are...Copy !req
1211. until, whoops,
I've broken one.Copy !req
1212. And then you get to be
disappointed with me?Copy !req
1213. Okay. Uh, do you wanna know my rules?Copy !req
1214. Don't fuck other men.
Don't let them think about fucking you.Copy !req
1215. Now I'm responsible
for what people think?Copy !req
1216. Yes, you are responsible. When you act
a certain way, it leads people on.Copy !req
1217. When you take your clothes off at a party,
people think you're a slut.Copy !req
1218. So I'd really prefer if you didn't do that.
Is that clear enough for you?Copy !req
1219. Fuck you!Copy !req
1220. I'm not your child!Copy !req
1221. You don't get to decide what I do.Copy !req
1222. Wanna bet?
What?Copy !req
1223. I'm pretty sure I could make you do
whatever I want.Copy !req
1224. What are you gonna do, Calvin?
Tie me up?Copy !req
1225. No.Copy !req
1226. I don't have to.Copy !req
1227. Calvin...Copy !req
1228. I'm gonna call a cab.Copy !req
1229. Let's talk tomorrow, okay?Copy !req
1230. Calvin.Copy !req
1231. Fine. Go.Copy !req
1232. What was that?Copy !req
1233. You didn't feel that?Copy !req
1234. Aah!Copy !req
1235. What is that?Copy !req
1236. What the fuck is going on?Copy !req
1237. Calvin.Copy !req
1238. Aah! Oh, my God, something is happening.
Here. Read.Copy !req
1239. What is this?Copy !req
1240. My book.Copy !req
1241. The one I haven't been
working on.Copy !req
1242. Wanna see?Copy !req
1243. Is this some sort of joke?Copy !req
1244. No. It's pretty serious.Copy !req
1245. You're writing about me?Copy !req
1246. No, you can't write about me.
That's private.Copy !req
1247. I'm not writing about you.Copy !req
1248. I wrote you.Copy !req
1249. I made you up.Copy !req
1250. What?
I had a dream about a girl.Copy !req
1251. So I wrote it down.Copy !req
1252. I gave her a name.Copy !req
1253. Ruby.Copy !req
1254. I wrote all kinds of things about her
and then one day I woke up and she...Copy !req
1255. You were living in my house.Copy !req
1256. I can make you do anything...Copy !req
1257. because you're not real.Copy !req
1258. You're sick.Copy !req
1259. Calvin?Copy !req
1260. Listen to me.Copy !req
1261. If this is how you think about people...Copy !req
1262. then you are in for a long,
lonely, fucked-up life.Copy !req
1263. Do you hear me? Calvin?Copy !req
1264. See. "Ruby speaks French."Copy !req
1265. I told you I could
make you do anything.Copy !req
1266. I write it.Copy !req
1267. You do it.Copy !req
1268. Skinnamarinky dinky dink dinky doCopy !req
1269. I love youCopy !req
1270. Skinnamarinky dinky dinkCopy !req
1271. Dinky doCopy !req
1272. I love youCopy !req
1273. I love you in the morningCopy !req
1274. I love you.Copy !req
1275. I'll never leave you. I love you.Copy !req
1276. I'll never leave you.Copy !req
1277. I love you. I'll never leave you.Copy !req
1278. I love your mouth. I love your nose.Copy !req
1279. I love your butt. I love your eyes.Copy !req
1280. I love your belly. I love your ears.Copy !req
1281. I love your cock. I love your nose.Copy !req
1282. I love your mouth. I love you so much.Copy !req
1283. I'll love you forever
and ever and ever and ever.Copy !req
1284. You're a genius. You're a genius.
You're a genius.Copy !req
1285. You're a genius.
You're a genius. You're a genius.Copy !req
1286. You're a genius. You're a genius.
You're a genius.Copy !req
1287. Rub...Copy !req
1288. Calvin?Copy !req
1289. Calvin.Copy !req
1290. You okay?Copy !req
1291. She's gone.Copy !req
1292. It's okay, buddy.Copy !req
1293. Okay.Copy !req
1294. Nothing helps.Copy !req
1295. When was the last time you wrote, Cal?
I can't write.Copy !req
1296. Sure you can.Copy !req
1297. That's what you have over every other poor
schmuck out there with a broken heart.Copy !req
1298. You can write about it.Copy !req
1299. And who would wanna read that?Copy !req
1300. Lots of people.Copy !req
1301. Why not?Copy !req
1302. You got a pretty great story.Copy !req
1303. Everyone will think I'm crazy.Copy !req
1304. No.Copy !req
1305. They'll think it's fiction.Copy !req
1306. This is the true and impossible
story of my very great love.Copy !req
1307. In the hope that she will not read this
and reproach me...Copy !req
1308. I have withheld many telling details.Copy !req
1309. Her name...Copy !req
1310. the particulars of her birth
and upbringing...Copy !req
1311. and any identifying scars
or birthmarks.Copy !req
1312. All the same,
I cannot help but write this for her.Copy !req
1313. To tell her:Copy !req
1314. "I'm sorry for every word
I wrote to change you.Copy !req
1315. I'm sorry for so many things.Copy !req
1316. I couldn't see you when you were here.Copy !req
1317. And now that you're gone,
I see you everywhere."Copy !req
1318. "One may read this and think it's magic...Copy !req
1319. but falling in love is an act of magic.Copy !req
1320. So is writing.Copy !req
1321. It was once said of Catcher in the Rye:Copy !req
1322. 'That rare miracle of fiction
has again come to pass.Copy !req
1323. A human being has been created
out of ink, paper and the imagination.'Copy !req
1324. I am no J.D. Salinger...Copy !req
1325. but I have witnessed
a rare miracle.Copy !req
1326. Any writer can attest...Copy !req
1327. in the luckiest, happiest state...Copy !req
1328. the words are not coming from you,
but through you.Copy !req
1329. She came to me wholly herself.Copy !req
1330. I was just lucky enough to be there
to catch her."Copy !req
1331. Thank you.Copy !req
1332. Doesn't his imagination just,
uh, blow you away?Copy !req
1333. I mean, where does he come up
with these ideas?Copy !req
1334. Right?
Yeah.Copy !req
1335. Genius.
I don't know.Copy !req
1336. I don't know.Copy !req
1337. How are you?
What's up?Copy !req
1338. It's beautiful, Calvin.Copy !req
1339. Thank you.Copy !req
1340. Most of my patients don't take
my assignments this seriously.Copy !req
1341. I know you hoped that, by writing this,
I would realize that it never happened.Copy !req
1342. That I imagined her.Copy !req
1343. But the thing is...Copy !req
1344. I don't need to make sense of this.Copy !req
1345. I don't care
if there's no good explanation.Copy !req
1346. I need you
to believe me anyway.Copy !req
1347. Just take the leap.Copy !req
1348. At least imagine how it could be true.Copy !req
1349. For me.Copy !req
1350. I'll work on that.Copy !req
1351. Go potty.Copy !req
1352. Scotty. Scotty.Copy !req
1353. Scotty.Copy !req
1354. Oh, hi.
Sorry.Copy !req
1355. Hi.
Sorry, he's mine.Copy !req
1356. It's fine. He's so friendly.Copy !req
1357. What's his name?
Scotty.Copy !req
1358. Scotty. That's funny, that's...Copy !req
1359. That's the name of the dog
in this book.Copy !req
1360. Have you read it?Copy !req
1361. Did you like it?Copy !req
1362. Sorry. Did you say something?Copy !req
1363. Yeah, I just asked if you liked it.Copy !req
1364. Uh, what did you think?Copy !req
1365. My friend who lent it to me
thought it was kind of pretentious...Copy !req
1366. but I really like it so far.Copy !req
1367. Have we met before?Copy !req
1368. I don't know.Copy !req
1369. You seem really familiar.Copy !req
1370. Maybe we knew each other
in another life.Copy !req
1371. Or maybe we just go
to the same coffee shop.Copy !req
1372. What do you do
besides go for walks with your dog?Copy !req
1373. Um...Copy !req
1374. I'm a writer.Copy !req
1375. What do you write?Copy !req
1376. So that's why you
look so familiar.Copy !req
1377. Maybe.Copy !req
1378. I was kidding about
my friend calling it pretentious.Copy !req
1379. It's okay.Copy !req
1380. Can we start over?Copy !req
1381. Yes.Copy !req
1382. May I sit down?
Oh, please.Copy !req
1383. Just don't tell me
how it ends, okay?Copy !req
1384. Promise.Copy !req
1385. "Hope You've Liked & Enjoyed The Movie"Copy !req
1386. Copyright from SI MediaCopy !req