1. In the Steven Spielberg movie "E.T.",
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2. why's the alien brown?
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3. No reason.
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4. In "Love Story",
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5. why did the two characters
fall madly in love with each other?
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6. No reason.
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7. In Oliver Stone's "JFK",
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8. Why's the President suddenly
assassinated by some stranger?
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9. No reason.
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10. In the excellent "Chainsaw Massacre"
by Tobe Hooper,
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11. why don't we ever see the characters
go to the bathroom...
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12. or wash their hands,
like people doing in real life?
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13. Absolutely no reason.
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14. Worse, in "The Pianist" by Polanski,
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15. how come this guy has to hide
and live like a bomb...
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16. when he plays the piano so well?
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17. Once again the answer is "no reason".
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18. I could go on for hours
with more examples.
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19. The list is endless.
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20. You probably never gave it a thought.
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21. But all great films,
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22. without exception,
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23. contain an important element—
a "no reason".
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24. And you know why?
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25. Because life itself...
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26. is filled with "no reason".
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27. Why can't we see the air all around us?
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28. No reason.
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29. Why're we always thinking?
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30. No reason.
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31. Why do some people love sausages
and other people hate sausages?
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32. No fuckin' reason.
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33. Come on, don't waste your time
explaining that garbage. Let's go!
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34. Just one minute. Let me finish.
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35. Ladies, gentlemen,
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36. the film you're about to see today
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37. is an homage to the "no reason"--
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38. that most powerful element... of style.
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39. Why did they destroy all those chairs.
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40. - Too sad on those.
- Yeah, it's really a pity.
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41. Quiet, please.
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42. Everybody turn around.
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43. Good. Enjoy.
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44. Excuse me, is it going to be in color
or black and white?
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45. It's already boring.
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46. Don't be so negative.
It's just the beginning.
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47. It's going to pick up. Just be patient.
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48. I hope that's not an old silent film.
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49. I can't hear thing.
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50. Yes, you can hear the wind a little.
If You listen.
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51. Somebody see something?
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52. I see a dump, there, straight ahead.
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53. Amazing. He just blew up a bottle
without even touching it.
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54. Really? Let me see.
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55. That's odd.
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56. It looks like he has telepathic power.
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57. You mean Psychokinetic?
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58. I don't care about the right word.
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59. Has it just blown up
the bottle with its mind?
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60. It is most likely. Yes.
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61. That's awesome. I'm starting to like it.
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62. I think the kid is right.
Psychokinetic powers.
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63. Excuse me, but do you have to
comment everything aloud?
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64. We are not commenting,
we are only trying to understand.
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65. - What do you think of it?
- Nothing.
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66. You know you're not allowed to film
the film. That is forbidden by law.
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67. It is?
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68. Yeah, they'll put you in jail for that.
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69. Jail?
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70. That's kidding me?
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71. Yes, she's right, it is piracy.
I'll be careful if I were you.
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72. My wife could not come.
I just wanna show her.
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73. This's piracy anyway.
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74. Thanks for that. I won't in the future.
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75. Come on!
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76. Starting again!
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77. Wake up!
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78. Let's go!
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79. Jesus, I almost slept awake.
Fuckin' insects!
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80. I was really cold myself.
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81. Quiet!
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82. Wake up!
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83. Excuse me. Would it be possible
to have some coffee and toast?
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84. Dad, I'm hungry.
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85. Dad?
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86. Where is he?
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87. Straight ahead.
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88. He just woke up.
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89. Oh, thanks.
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90. Anyone got any food?
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91. Oh my god!
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92. Not bad at all.
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93. Well, let me see.
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94. It is the first time in my life
I identify with a tire.
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95. Stop that. Give me that!
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96. Her ass is not that great,
but I understand.
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97. You're hard to pleased.
It is fine with me.
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98. Her ass isn't that great
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99. but she has quite a wag on it.
You think the tire is gonna get laid?
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100. I would like to see it!
What position do you think?
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101. I think she'll start with
a good blowjob.
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102. Oh yeah...
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103. Jesus, you think you're
gonna shut up some time
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104. and let's watch in
peace? I can't stand it.
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105. Come on. Can't you take a little joke?
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106. Yes, there is plenty of space. Go
somewhere else if we're bothering you.
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107. You should be the ones to move if you
have to laugh so loud, don't you think?
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108. No. Why don't you just do like that
cripple, and plug on your walkman
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109. and listen to your music and
then no one bother you any more.
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110. It's not a walkman
It's a medical gismo.
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111. Come on, let's just forget it.
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112. Brats.
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113. Hi, brats.
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114. Mom, it's me. I'm gonna spend the night
in a motel. I don't wanna try anymore.
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115. See you tomorrow. I love you. Bye.
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116. Anything interesting?
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117. He just switched the channel.
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118. Okay. Well...
wake us if we miss anything major.
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119. Good night, everybody.
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120. How long before humans start to
eat each other out of hunger?
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121. Don't talk crap. Just sleep.
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122. Are you rustlers?
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123. You're gonna let us starve
without doing a thing?
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124. I found the blown-off rabbit.
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125. You are really so cruel!
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126. - I think it's okay to eat, right?
- Idiot!
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127. Can't you see it's fake?
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128. Yes, master.
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129. Very well, master.
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130. Certainly.
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131. I understand perfectly.
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132. I am gonna do it
tomorrow morning without fail.
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133. Yeah. First thing in the morning.
You can count on me.
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134. Salutations, master.
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135. Morning.
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136. - Can I clean your room?
- Yeah.
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137. Why not?
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138. Food!
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139. Food!
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140. Animals.
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141. Anybody there?
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142. Excuse me,
you want me to come back later?
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143. Fucking weirdoes!
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144. I just saw a live tire.
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145. You get nothing better to do than
come here to start talking rubbish?
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146. I swear... it's true.
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147. Look. He locked himself in room 16.
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148. Did you get homework to do or something?
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149. I am on holidays.
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150. And you don't know what
to do with yourself.
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151. Well you're bugging me.
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152. You don't believe me.
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153. You shut up!
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154. Look, here.
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155. Get on your bike,
and go get me a pizza, alright?
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156. I give you ten minutes to kill.
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157. You go have a look
in room 16 now. Please!
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158. Would you get on your bike
and get me a pizza?
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159. Cut this bullshit out?
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160. Do it!
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161. And don't forget the double toppings!
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162. Here's your double topping, dickhead.
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163. And the tire's supposed to float?
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164. An inner tube, yes. Not a tire.
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165. Really? I'd rather bet
just the opposite.
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166. Feeling any better, son?
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167. It's burning hard.
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168. Daddy, I beg you call a doctor.
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169. Come on. Probably just ate too fast.
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170. It's gonna be alright. Don't worry.
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171. We all ate too fast.
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172. It's hurting bad, I told you!
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173. Does anybody know anything
about medicine?
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174. No, sorry.
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175. Well, do you happen to
know anything about physics?
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176. Would a tire sink or float?
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177. It would sink.
We just saw it a minute ago.
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178. What is going on?
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179. Oh, damnit! It's a hell.
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180. Oh, help me!
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181. What's happening to us?
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182. We're poisoned.
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183. The turkey was a trap.
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184. A trap?
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185. Oh! Is this how they
they treat the audience?
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186. Don't worry ma'am.
They're not gonna get away with this.
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187. I am still here.
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188. And I want my show.
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189. Sure I want my show.
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190. Anybody there?
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191. Tire?
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192. the pool there.
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193. It is right here.
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194. This tire is alive.
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195. The tire story again?
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196. It doesn't look very alive to me.
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197. I saw the tire get into room 16.
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198. He locked himself in.
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199. You know what, I've heard
enough rubbish for the day.
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200. Now get the dirty tire out of the pool,
or I'm gonna get really mad!
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201. - Sorry, lieutenant.
- Nothing.
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202. But tell me...
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203. Don't you find it strange
we can't see the air around us?
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204. Why do you say that?
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205. Just like that.
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206. No reason.
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207. Okay, kid, listen to me.
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208. Nothing to worry about.
It's a perfectly ordinary tire.
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209. Yeah, same here.
You see it's not moving.
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210. - Well, maybe it drowned.
- Would you stop with this crap, okay?
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211. You're putting me ashamed in front of
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212. - a police officer.
- Don't be rough.
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213. - There is no need to do that.
- You know, someone died here, okay?
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214. We don't joke about things like that.
Do you understand?
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215. Yeah, that is true.
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216. I'm not joking. I am sure
that this tire killed Martina.
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217. Oh, that is enough! Alright?
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218. I don't want to see you anymore. Okay?
We will settle this tonight. Now squirm!
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219. You're getting on my nerves, go!
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220. You're a little jumpy.
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221. Not usually.
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222. And take your fucking tire, would you?
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223. Sorry.
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224. Mr. Hugues, can I ask you some
questions for the investigation?
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225. Sure, go ahead.
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226. How was your relationship with Martina?
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227. We got along fine, you know,
employer, employee.
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228. - You were satisfied with her work?
- Yeah.
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229. Nothing in particular you'd mention
about her behaviour?
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230. No.
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231. Very good.
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232. It's been 6 hours, the poison has
had time to take effect. We can stop.
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233. - The poison?
- Yes, we poisoned the spectators.
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234. And go home now, Mr. Huges.
We don't need you anymore.
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235. - Thank you very much.
- I don't understand.
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236. It was a pleasure working with you.
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237. Everybody, listen!
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238. I have something important to announce.
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239. Pay attention, please.
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240. You can all relax.
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241. It's over. We're stopping now.
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242. Thanks, and...
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243. congratulations to all.
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244. Great job.
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245. What did you mean, Chad?
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246. I meant exactly what I just said.
It's over.
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247. You can go home with your families now.
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248. It's been a pleasure working with you.
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249. You're out of your mind?
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250. Why do you want us to go home?
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251. Come on.
Stop acting like this is real life.
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252. I'm telling you we're done.
There's no one watching anymore, okay?
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253. No use going on.
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254. Stop.
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255. Finish. We're packing in.
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256. But... this is real life, Chad.
We have a dead body over here.
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257. No.
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258. Come on. It's not real life.
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259. Look at you, you have a stuffed
toy alligator under your arm.
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260. So?
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261. Okay. I'm gonna show you something.
Denise, take your gun.
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262. - Why?
- Take it, I tell you!
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263. It's an order!
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264. - Now point it to me and shoot.
- No way!
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265. Doug, you do it.
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266. Don't think. Just shoot.
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267. Oh God!
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268. You see?
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269. I don't feel a thing.
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270. No pain whatsoever.
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271. It's not real.
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272. You understand?
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273. Everything is fake.
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274. Shoot again.
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275. Now you believe me?
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276. This situation is not real.
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277. Go home.
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278. It's all over.
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279. Thanks.
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280. What about the cleaning lady?
She's really dead?
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281. Open the bag. You might be surprised.
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282. It is a regular corpse.
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283. Give her a good slap, you'll see.
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284. Stop your bullshit. She's got no head.
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285. It's not funny.
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286. Shake her up.
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287. So? Nothing happened.
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288. She is dead. The body is cold.
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289. How cold?
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290. One of the spectators
didn't eat the turkey.
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291. He's alive
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292. and watching as we speak.
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293. Damn!
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294. You sure this is true?
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295. Master.
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296. You have to go on.
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297. Okay. Excuse me, please.
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298. I made a little mistake.
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299. Forget everything I just said.
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300. I'm sorry.
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301. I got a little out of myself.
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302. We're not quite done.
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303. How was your relationship with Martina?
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304. - You're bleeding, lieutenant.
- Don't mind that.
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305. It is nothing.
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306. Let's proceed. Answer my question.
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307. Ah, like I've said,
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308. We got along fine, you know,
employee, employer.
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309. You were happy with her work?
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310. Like I said before, Yeah.
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311. Nothing in particular you'd mention?
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312. No.
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313. Were you in contact with her family?
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314. I met her brother once.
He was... ah... rather obese.
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315. We really didn't talk.
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316. Okay. Do you know if Martina was...
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317. in good terms with her obese brother?
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318. Maybe.
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319. Do you think the obese brother...
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320. could be directly or indirectly...
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321. involved with Martina's death?
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322. Mr. Huges?
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323. "Oh God, the kid was right."
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324. "The killer is a tire."
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325. You killed Martina?
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326. You're gonna be in trouble
with the police.
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327. You know what the police are?
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328. Do you talk? I mean...
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329. Talk... Mm...
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330. Me.
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331. Human. Boy.
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332. Answer me!
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333. This is what our killer looks like.
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334. A tire?
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335. Exactly.
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336. I give you an hour to find him.
It can't have run far.
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337. If you have any questions,
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338. It is now or never.
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339. What brand of tire?
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340. We don't know yet.
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341. Probably brandless.
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342. - Is it worn?
- Yes.
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343. Is it black?
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344. It escaped on the road. That way.
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345. So...
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346. What might you fancy?
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347. Farm chicken?
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348. Or maybe potato mashed with olive oil
and mushroom fricassee.
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349. I'll be fine, thank you.
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350. Wait until you see the rest.
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351. Tuna Tartare on a bed of artichoke
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352. with violet flavor and white asparagus.
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353. It's tempting, isn't it?
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354. Okay, you know, I'm not hungry.
So just forget it.
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355. Dessert then, perhaps?
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356. Chocolate eclairs.
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357. It's... whoof... lovely. How could...
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358. Hey, hey, I'm telling you
I'm not hungry, alright?
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359. And you're wasting my time.
Just go away.
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360. Come on. You gotta eat something.
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361. It is unhealthy.
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362. You can't go on like this.
You can't... You...
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363. Have a yoghurt, at least.
Just do that for me.
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364. I just want to watch the end in peace.
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365. Wait all you want,
'cause there is no end.
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366. Fine, I'll watch it anyway, alright?
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367. I like it.
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368. What's happening?
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369. What's happening? He's rolling.
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370. The cops are chasing him.
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371. It's a pretty exciting scene.
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372. Is that so?
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373. Where? I can't see.
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374. Right there. I see it.
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375. - Where?
- Here.
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376. Go on.
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377. Then, one day,
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378. My father wanna do something nice for us
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379. and he took us on a vacation
to the mountain. But...
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380. because we had no money, we...
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381. couldn't take a skiing. So...
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382. along with my brother,
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383. we started going on
these walks in the snow.
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384. We didn't even have shoes.
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385. It's funny...
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386. And then...
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387. my brother... climbs up a rock,
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388. and slips, falls into a crack.
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389. Dumb accident.
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390. You surely don't wanna try the eclair?
It's amazing.
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391. I'm fine, thanks.
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392. where was I?
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393. Ah yeah...
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394. My brother falls into a crack.
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395. and I don't know why,
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396. but instead of offer help,
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397. I take this some enormous rock
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398. and I smash him into the face with it.
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399. And then he stops screaming.
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400. Damn.
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401. You have something for stomache?
I ate too fast.
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402. Oh, shit!
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403. That stuff was supposed to be
for you to eat!
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404. Oh God, it burns!
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405. I don't want to die!
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406. Help me!
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407. Help me. Oh God, please!
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408. Oh, it burns!
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409. I'm going to die! I don't want to die!
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410. Help me please. Help me...
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411. You can't do that.
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412. Really?
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413. Well, you can if you want,
but it's against the rules.
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414. So what... can I or can't I?
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415. Unit 4 central. You receive?
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416. We located the tire.
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417. You receive?
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418. I repeat. We located the tire
inside a house.
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419. You're on.
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420. We receive you, unit 4.
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421. What did you mean by "located"?
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422. We just saw him.
He's in a house on Belly Ball Road,
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423. watching TV. What should we do?
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424. Stay put. We're on our way.
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425. You alright?
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426. We're gonna neck him.
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427. The door just opened. He's coming.
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428. Alright, go ahead, read.
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429. Come.
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430. Closer.
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431. Come on. Closer. I was expecting you.
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432. Come on. Come here.
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433. Articulate.
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434. Come on. Come here.
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435. "Come here and kill me,
you son of a bitch."
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436. Come closer and kill me,
you little jerk.
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437. Stick to the text. Go on.
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438. Son of a bitch.
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439. Come on.
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440. Closer.
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441. That's good. He's biting.
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442. Go on.
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443. Come on.
You know I've been very naughty.
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444. You have to punish me.
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445. Come. Come punish me.
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446. Who wrote this garbage?
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447. Don't worry about that. Go on.
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448. You like me?
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449. You think I'm sexy?
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450. Come on, be a good boy,
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451. blow my head off, you big slut...
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452. Sorry, I can't read that.
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453. It is too aweful.
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454. Get out of the way.
You're gonna ruin everything.
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455. Blow my head off, you big slut.
You hear me?
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456. I have a very...
I have been a very naughtly girl.
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457. I need a good thrashing.
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458. Come on, now! Go ahead.
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459. Kill me! Go on!
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460. I want to die.
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461. Do it!
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462. I think he suspects something.
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463. I think we should stay
with the woman's voice.
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464. Shit!
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465. Take back the mic.
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466. Come on. Go ahead! Go ahead! Come on!
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467. Where are we?
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468. I don't know. It doesn't matter.
Improvise. Quick!
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469. Hey, blow my head off.
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470. What're you wait for?
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471. Very good. Go on.
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472. Come on, I'm ready! Now!
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473. Excuse me. Sorry to bother you, but...
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474. The way I look at it,
this scene makes no sense at all.
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475. And not that as great as we began
with, for at least I understood it.
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476. Now, it's uh... it's totally confused.
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477. That's why I took the trouble
to come over this way.
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478. What do you mean?
What don't you understand?
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479. What don't I understand is
the bait with the dummy.
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480. It doesn't make sense. And what's
the point? What's the purpose?
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481. Can't you see, it's a lure.
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482. There's nothing confusing.
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483. Yeah, I get the lure, okay?
I am not stupid.
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484. What I don't get is why
it takes so many hours.
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485. Why don't you just ice the bloody tire?
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486. Now that he's...
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487. He's standing in front of
the lure dummy,
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488. with a Bazooka-
even better, no, no, listen, listen—
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489. even better, you get one of
your guys with a flamethrower.
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490. Just woo!
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491. You gotta do something. I mean,
do something, anything.
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492. No, no...
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493. The idea was for him to blow up the
dummy himself instead of the dynamite.
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494. That way, he will pop
himself off himself, so to speak.
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495. That's brilliant. That's actually
brilliant. What I'm asking...
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496. is speed up the action. That's all.
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497. You know? Boom, boom!
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498. Yeah. But then we wouldn't be here
if you've eaten the damn turkey.
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499. That's true enough, but...
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500. Listen, we like you told us.
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501. We will try to speed things up now.
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502. - You can go back to your place.
- Thank you.
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503. Asshole.
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504. Who's that guy?
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505. Come on, let's get on with it.
I'm exhausted.
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506. Read the last sentence there.
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507. You're nothing but a rubber shit.
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508. Once again.
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509. You're nothing but a rubber shit.
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510. Again.
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511. You're nothing but a rubber shit.
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512. damn, it didn't work.
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513. May I ask what you intend to do?
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514. I'm gonna blow up this
rubber shit myself. Be done with it.
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515. No. You can't do that.
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516. What about the dummy blow-up?
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517. You promised man.
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518. "The End". Bye.
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519. That's it, ah?
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520. That's all you got?
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521. You can't stop here man.
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522. Come on. What kind of racket you wanted?
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523. Wait!
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524. It is not the end.
It's been reincarnated in a tricycle.
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525. Come back!
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526. Wait, wait, wait.
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527. I'm not a character. I'm just watching.
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528. You just stay there.
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529. Stay put.
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530. No, stay put!
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531. Good.
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532. easytobeaman
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533. In the Steven Spielberg movie "E.T.",
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534. why's the alien brown?
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535. No reason.
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536. In "Love Story",
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537. why did the two characters
fall madly in love with each other?
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538. No reason.
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539. In Oliver Stone's "JFK",
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540. Why's the President suddenly
assassinated by some stranger?
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541. No reason.
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542. In the excellent "Chainsaw Massacre"
by Tobe Hooper,
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543. why don't we ever see the characters
go to the bathroom...
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544. or wash their hands,
like people doing in real life?
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545. Absolutely no reason.
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546. Worse, in "The Pianist" by Polanski,
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547. how come this guy has to hide
and live like a bomb...
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548. when he plays the piano so well?
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549. Once again the answer is...
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550. "no reason".
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551. I could go on for hours with
more examples. The list is endless.
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552. You probably never gave it
a moment's thought.
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553. But all great films, without exception,
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554. contain an important element—
a "no reason".
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555. And you know why?
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556. Because life itself is made up
of tonnes...
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557. of "no reason".
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558. Why can't we see the air all around us?
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559. No reason.
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560. Why're we always thinking?
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561. No reason.
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562. Why do some people love sausages
and other people hate sausages?
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563. No fuckin' reason.
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564. Come on, don't waste your time
explaining that garbage. Let's go!
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565. Just one minute. Let me finish.
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